#ellie and dina style

[serqphites]

all I can think of is moving to a farm with lee and working the fields with her and selling the produce at a farmers market. working in the hot sun all day with her and trying to cuddle despite the heat at night. I need farmhand lee so bad. -🌾

you have no idea how obsessed i am with this idea. also welcome new emoji anon !! <3

warnings: slight nsfw

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let’s of course start with off with an image of lee in overalls, a long sleeve red button up on underneath (she’s literally overheating but at least you said she looks adorable)

lee spends a lot of time sat on the rocking chair on your back porch. she doesn’t use her phone, she’s not reading anything, just sitting and enjoying life for the first time in a while. plus she gets a perfect view of you whenever you’re working on the farms so win win!!

your favourite thing to do together is head to the farmers market, everyone absolutely adores you and lee (mainly because you usually show up in matching outfits because yes, you are that kind of couple).

also painting!! you both paint on the regular together, whether it’s; painting your emotions, your surroundings, each other… (lee paints you naked)

lee gets so whiny and desperate when you refuse her cuddles on a hot summer night, begging you to let her spoon you because she can’t fall asleep without you in her arms.

“please baby, i’ll open a window” puppy. dog. eyes.

“lee the windows are already open, it’s too hot i’m sorry” you feel just as bad as she does, never feeling 100% safe unless her arms are snaked around your stomach.

without a word she gives up, moving back onto her side of the bed. she’s still facing you, her hands tucked underneath her cheek as she watches your back with those gosh darn puppy dog eyes.

you literally can’t do it, giving in immediately and DRAGGING her back over to you.

i feel like lee also lovesss making you food with your own ingredients, she’s not vegetarian/vegan in the slightest but jesus christ can she make an incredible plant based burger.

farm lee likes fucking you on your porch

[hatosaur]

date night 😌 🌼

(redraw of a request for fancy elliedina from two years ago; og under the cut for comparison!)

[heartiis]

the big apple ꩜ .ᐟ pt.1

pt.2

pairing - ellie x reader

synopsis - you've just moved to nyc and ellie's your new neighbor. she hates you though and you don't know why :((

cw - mean ellie, eventual side gig dealer ellie, eventual weed, eventual tattoo artist ellie, cigs, drinking, no smut this time but there will be eventually, swearing, reader is feminine, descriptions of outfits, uhh can't think of what else I'm new to this

a/n - this is my first fanfic and english isn't my first language so yea !! there's going to be multiple parts, I'm not sure how many yet. I hope u like it. lots of wish fulfillment here bc I'm not american and would love to live in nyc. I tried to imagine what ellie, jesse and dina would be like irl but I also just did what I wanted to do loll

Your new apartment in New York was dingy, run down and just the slightest bit smelly. But that didn’t matter. You loved it because it was yours, just yours. You were going to pay the rent and everything, and you already had a job at a coffee shop lined up for when your savings ran out.

Then there was the matter of the neighbor. You see, very often, the smell of weed crept under their doorway and made it’s way into your apartment, and into your nose. It wasn’t that you hated it. No, unfortunately for you, you loved it. You wanted so desperately to know who it was that was stinking up your apartment, and what they must be doing every time they got high.

Did they listen to music, the same kind you did? Or did they just lay there, thinking about life? Where they talking to someone? Touching someone…?

You wouldn’t be so nosy, you imagined, if you had your own weed. But moving to a city where you knew no one was complicated. Finding a plug was complicated, even if it was in New York, and it would be great if you could befriend your neighbor and ask them for a referral.

Your question about what they looked like was suddenly answered when you came out on Monday morning for your first official shift at the coffee shop. On that day, your neighbor who you’d never seen before just happened to leave their apartment at the same time as you, and as soon as you saw her, you were struck by how hot she was.

Dressed in baggy, stylish clothes, with auburn hair cut to her shoulders and tied back in a haphazard bun, she was your idea of walking sex. The place you’d be working at didn’t have a uniform except for an apron with its logo, and suddenly you felt sheepish in your dainty goodwill floral dress and sneakers.

Everyone in New York was so cool, with studded belts and graphic tees from bands you obviously wouldn’t know, that your style which had suited you so well living in your small hometown now felt boring. You’d run away to the big apple to be where the action was, to meet cool people and live a full life. But it was growing increasingly clear to you that maybe those people wouldn’t be as eager to meet you.

You turned your head to look at your neighbor, who was exactly the type of person you’d envisioned would be a part of your new amazing life. She had freckles all over her nose and cheeks, creeping down her neck. And she had a beautiful tattoo on her arm. A tattoo! The grand majority of people in your hometown were too conservative to have those, even the young ones. You found yourself wanting to trace it with your fingers…

You realized you were staring, and tried to snap yourself back to reality. Work. You were in the elevator because you needed to go to work.

You straightened up as the elevator bell dinged, then started to walk out—and tripped. The stupid old machine had stopped just below floor level, making it so that you had to step up a bit as if climbing stairs, which you hadn’t done.

Right in front of your extremely hot, extremely-your-type-neighbor. Except it didn’t matter, did it? You didn’t want a complicated relationship with your neighbor (not that you had any confidence she’d be interested in you like that) and there were so many other hot women in New York.

But when you looked back, she was smirking, and it was the sexiest thing ever. So it did matter, a lot.

At least you’d managed not to fall.

You tried to gain back composure, laughing slightly so it was less awkward. But she just kept that same shit-eating grin on her face. Then she scoffed. Actually scoffed. Goddamn. What made it worse was that her distaste for you only made her hotter, more desirable, in your eyes. You were screwed.

You realized you weren’t moving when she walked past you with her hand reaching into her back pocket. She pulled out a pack of cigarettes and did not look back at you as she walked out of the building. You wondered were she was going.

The rest of your day was anxiety inducing. You felt a growing swarm of nerves in your stomach as you were introduced to your co-workers and taught the ropes of your job. You were just thankful they didn’t have you dealing with clients yet. During the early hours of your shift, there had been a steady line at the cash register full of all kinds of people, some of them nice and patient, others not so much. You’d clearly chosen a busy spot to work in.

Then again, wasn’t that most places in New York? You smiled to yourself. Things were indeed nerve-racking, but they were also so very exciting.

As the week went on, you began to settle into the motions of your job. Making more complicated drinks was still very hard, but there were simpler manual tasks you would do were you didn’t have to think much about what your body was doing. And in those quieter moments, your mind would wander to that elevator, and the embarrassing moment you’d had.

After the inner panic at the thought of it would fade, you’d think about your neighbor. You wondered what her life was like here. What she did for a living, what her weekends looked like, if she participated in the nightlife of the city you had no friends to explore with yet. You wanted to know her name, and who her friends were, and if she had a girlfriend (because you were pretty damn sure she liked girls). But unluckily for you, you received very little hints.

After that first day on Monday, you hadn’t seen her in the mornings, nor in the afternoons when you came back home. All you had of her were those moments where the slight smell of weed rose up in your apartment, making you wish you could just knock on her door and join in on the smoke sesh.

Then Friday night came. You were spent from your busy first week and decided to stop by the supermarket on the way home to get yourself some cheap wine and a single wine glass.

It was a warm summer night, so you sat on the fire escape window in your little pajama shorts and tank top, setting down the things you’d bought next to you. You’d already opened the wine, so you poured it in the glass and took to sipping. When the first glass was done you poured yourself another, already starting to feel a little tipsy. You had just begun to drink it when you heard the sound of your neighbor’s window roll up, accompanied with a man’s laughter.

He stepped out onto the fire escape with a beer bottle and leaned against the railing. He wore clothes with a similar, baggy style to your neighbor’s. Then came out a pretty girl with dark hair pulled into a ponytail and heeled black leather boots.

“Come on, slowpoke!” she said, extending a hand.

“Alright, alright I’m coming! I was just checking my phone.” Your neighbor grabbed the girl’s hand and stepped onto the fire escape.

Girlfriend? You thought, feeling like you were deflating.

“You got a message from one of your little fuck buddies?” The girl teased.

Not a girlfriend. Oh, and your neighbor had fuck buddies. You found it kind of hot, of course. Because you were always into the girls who might as well be walking around with the word “danger” written onto their foreheads. It also did makes you feel a little weird, because you knew she wouldn’t fuck you, and even if she did, you’d just be a fuck buddy. But what did it matter? It wasn’t like you even knew her enough to be able to want anything more. Still, you felt weird.

“Clients, actually,” she responded.

“Yeah, Dina, you think Ellie would even deign to give any of those girls her number?”

So, her name was Ellie.

“Asshole,” Ellie said as Dina laughed.

Your time spent staring at her was cut short when she noticed your presence, looking directly at you. You couldn’t help but notice her grin slide right off her face. You picked up the wine glass and tasted the drink nervously.

“Hey!” The guy said, with a bright smile on his mouth. “You must be the new neighbor.”

“Yeah,” you said, hesitating. You watched Ellie’s reaction to this closely. She seemed annoyed her friend was even making conversation with you.

“Much cuter than the last one,” Dina smiled. You smiled back softly.

“Well, it’s not really hard to compete with Stinky Steve,” Ellie said, and your smile faded.

“Dude.” The guy shot her a look. “Anyways, my name’s Jesse. I’m Ellie’s friend.”

“Nice to meet you. My name’s y/n.”

“So,” Dina cut in. “Are you living alone or have you got a roomate that’s cute like you?”

“Um, I’m living alone. I’m new to the city, actually, so I don’t really know anybody yet.”

Jesse leaned onto the railing closest to your side. “Well, you know us now.” He looked at Dina and Ellie, taking a swig of his beer. “You know what? We actually came here to pre-game. We’re going to this club in like an hour, if you want to come with.”

“Jesse.” Ellie looked like she wanted to deck him.

“What? She seems cool!”

“Yeah, Ellie, don’t be such a dick. Be nice to your neighbor.” Dina poked her. Ellie didn’t say anything else, just sat down on the window ledge and looked brooding.

“So, what do you say y/n?”

You thought about it. Maybe the wine was making you more confident, but you kind of wanted to say yes. Not just because you wanted to get closer to Ellie, but because Dina and Jesse seemed cool too, and you really wanted to go out partying in the city. You looked at Ellie, who was staring off into the distance. You’d feel uncomfortable saying yes, knowing she clearly didn’t want you to go. But then you thought it wasn’t fair for her to keep you from making friends. It didn’t make sense for her to hate you so much. You hadn’t even done anything to her.

Yeah, fuck her.

“Okay. I’m just going to get ready while you guys pre-game, is that good?”

“Hell yeah!” Jesse clapped his hands. “Knock on our door when you’re ready.”

“My door,” Ellie interjected. You thought to yourself that you were going to find some other hot girl to dance with, so you could forget about your rude neighbor.

“Oh, one thing,” Jesse said. “How old are you?”

“Nineteen.”

“Same as Ellie! You got a fake id?”

Ellie scoffed. “Definitely not..” She said it under her breath, but you heard it anyways.

“Of course.” You smiled.

“Attagirl.”

Dina smiled and looked pointedly at Ellie.

You climbed inside your apartment, heading straight to your room. Your excitement was taken down a notch when you opened your closet. Jesse, Dina and Ellie were all wearing stylish clothes. Dina had on a hot club girl outfit, while Jesse and Ellie looked like attractive people you’d see at the skate park. They all looked like they’d be stopped by one of those tiktok street interviewers who would ask them to talk about their outfits. You thought about Ellie’s clothes. She was wearing jorts and a shirt with the sides cut out, revealing her Calvin Klein sports bra at the sides. You bit your lip, then shook your head, turning to the task at hand.

Your floral dresses were out of the question. You had a few basic crop tops and tanks which would do for a top, but you didn’t want something that would just do. You were a resident of New York City now, and you wanted to look the part. Then you remembered something. One of the coolest girl friends you had back in your hometown had given you a dress because you’d said you thought it was hot.

You sifted through your things and fished it out. It was a simple black dress with thin straps, but it was quite short and meant to cling onto your body. You’d never worn it before, in part because you hadn’t had many occasions for it, and also in part because you were worried you’d feel self-conscious in it. Especially because it could easily ride up and expose your ass. Whatever. You took out from your closet some tights you could wear underneath and called it a day.

You slipped it on and put on a few rings and your favorite necklace, then went back to the bathroom to put on some makeup. You put on lots of eyeliner and eyeshadow around your eyes, creating a sort of smokey eye look, then stepped back to look at yourself. Finally, you sprayed on some of your favorite perfume. Perfect. You smiled and walked out of your apartment, knocking on Ellie’s door.

Dina answered. “Oh, shit, you look hot.”

“Thanks.” You tilted your head, a little shy but happy.

Jesse came up next to Dina. “Ready to go?”

“Yup,” you replied.

pt.2

[girlrotterr]

But I'm a lesbian!

ellie x abby x dina x fem!reader a/n: inspired by the movie, "but i'm a cheerleader" !! Did my own little spin on it. (This may have a part two!)

→ Part two! → Part three! → Part four! → Part five!  → Part six!

Forced to a camp known as "True Directions," your arrival was no choice of your own. Your parents, upon discovering your sexuality, had made the decision to send you there. As you followed your guide towards the dormitories, someone caught your eye—a girl with auburn hair, casually puffing on a cigarette.

Noticing your presence, the girl glanced up and rolled her eyes. Your guide gestured towards her, prompting her to approach you. Extending her hand, she introduced herself, "Ellie."

"Hello," you responded, your voice betraying your nerves as you shook her hand, noting its soft yet firm grip.

With a sigh, Ellie remarked, "they sent new meat here again, huh?" She took another drag from her cigarette, casting a judgmental gaze in your direction.

"I’m sure to be out of the way," you said, trying to sound confident. "I’ll pass every trial here to get back home."

A smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. “Uh-huh..." she mused. “You’ll be here a while then."

“Ahem," the guide cleared her throat towards Ellie, who responded with an eye roll before retreating to her pink bed.  

"Very well then, I will leave you to unpack your things. This will be your dorm. You will share this space with three other roommates, feel free to report anything back to me," she said, her tall and commanding presence by her bouncing blond hair as she talked.

"Especially anything involving this one," she added, shooting a glance at Ellie. 

"Well," the guide grasped your arms, giving them a squeeze, "welcome to 'True Directions,' we'll fix you right up, dear!”

You gave a hesitant half-smile, trying to hide your discomfort. 

Returning your gesture with a bright smile, the guide nodded happily before leaving, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

Silence. 

Clutching onto your suitcases, the silence became increasingly awkward, and you debated whether to speak up. Should you ask where to put your belongings? But the fear of annoying or bothering Ellie made you hesitant.

Fuck it.

"Um, excuse me, where can I—"

"There," Ellie interrupted, her tone nonchalant as she pointed toward a corner of the room, her gaze still not meeting yours.

Your eyes followed her gesture to an empty white dresser tucked away, starkly different from the others that were already occupied. Making your way towards the dresser, you took in the room once more. The overwhelming femininity was hard to ignore—pink walls, beds, and shelves adorned with stuffed animals. Setting your suitcase down with a thud, you unzipped it, the sound of the zipper echoing loudly in the silent room.

Opening the drawer, the scent of brand new furniture wafted across your nose, tickling it and nearly causing you to sneeze.

Ellie got up from her bed, pulling open her drawer with a tug. In it were an assortment of items—makeup, hair accessories, and jewelry jumbled together. Rummaging through it, Ellie let out a sharp exhale, finally finding something from the depths of the drawer.

Without a glance in your direction, she held out a ribbon and a few hair clips. "Here," she muttered.

Your eyes widened at the adorable accessories as she tossed them over to you. "Put your hair up or something. It's better not to have it in the way, especially during our routines.”

"Ah, thank you," you expressed, catching them. "Are these.. yours?"

"Yeah... unfortunately," Ellie responded dryly.

With a nod, you started to arrange your hair with the clips.

As you styled your hair, the weight of Ellie's gaze pressed against your back like a physical force. Every subtle movement you made was studied, from the way you lifted strands of hair to the careful twisting of the ribbon around the ponytail. Even the simple act of tucking a stray lock behind your ear felt intense.

What’s this girl's deal?

The intensity of her stare became almost suffocating, leaving your hands trembling slightly as you worked. Despite her focus only on your hair, the sensation of being under her gaze felt like she was peering into your soul.

Finally, Ellie broke the silence with a quiet, husky voice, her words cutting through the tension. "You need a mirror?"

Her gaze remained fixed on you, relentless.

"No," you managed to reply, attempting to be confident.

But the moment her voice echoed throughout the room, heat began rising to your cheeks, and you couldn’t help but hesitate. Her presence felt overwhelming, a mix of nerves, fear, and desire swirling within you, all under her attention.

“Hm..” Ellie replied, seeming more curious now. She uncrossed her arms and slowly walked over to you. You could hear the way Ellie’s footsteps made the floor creak as she walked.

"Hm?" you managed to utter as Ellie closed in on you, her presence surrounding you with every step she took. The breath from her lips brushed against the nape of your neck as she leaned in.

"You're missing a strand," Ellie said, her voice softer than before.

The sensation of her being so close, her breath teasing your skin. You wanted to turn around and face her.

Her closeness was so overwhelming.

As Ellie's hand brushed against your hair, a sharp shiver coursed through your spine, setting your heartbeat into a quick rhythm. Her touch lingered, fingers twirling strands of your hair, as she leaned in even closer, so suffocatingly close. It felt as though Ellie was on the verge of whispering something, her breath agonizingly near-

"Yo, Ellie!"

The tension in the room broke as Dina and Abby burst in, causing Ellie to let go of your hair and step back.

Their expressions shifted abruptly from excitement to surprise as they noticed you. Dina's curious gaze looked over, her head tilting in confusion, while Abby's cold stare pierced through you.

"You must be the new one," Abby remarked, her tone icy, her eyes never leaving you as if dissecting your very being.

"Y-yeah.. I am," you responded, finally finishing your hair.

Abby simply nodded in acknowledgment, while Dina chuckled to herself.

"Aw, the new girl is all nervous!" Dina's teasing remark was followed by a smirk and a playful wave of her hand. She shifted her attention to Ellie, observing her growing annoyance. Dina seemed to catch on to something, finding the situation amusing.

"Ooooh! Ellie was hitting on ya!" Dina's snickering only added to Ellie's frustration as she clenched her jaw tightly, arms crossed.

Abby, maintaining her silent observation, continued to stare at the both of you.

"Ah! no..she was just helping me with my hair," you replied, attempting to stop the teasing.

"Awh. Is that so?" Dina's teasing tone persisted as she continued to giggle, her gaze towards Ellie who remained annoyed.

Abby's gaze suddenly shifted as she walked towards you, gently pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Her touch was surprisingly tender.

"There," she remarked softly, a smile gracing her lips, the gesture catching you off guard. It was so unexpected. "You had missed a strand."

Abby looked back at Ellie, a smirk on her lips, her eyes flickering as she made a mocking glance with her.

Suddenly, the camp director barged in, her authoritative voice vibrating throughout the room. "Ladies!" she commanded, making all the girls snap their attention towards the door where the camp director now stood.

Ellie groaned as soon as she heard that familiar voice.

"All of you, get out for morning exercise," the director ordered, her stern gaze scanning everyone. "Now."

With a swift turn, the camp director walked out of the room, the echo of her clicking heels fading as she left. Abby, Dina, and Ellie all groaned in unison, knowing what was to come. They made their way to their designated dressers, preparing to change into their gym clothes.

Amidst the shuffling of clothing, you voiced your confusion. "W-what are we doing?"

Abby scoffed at your question, a smirk on her lips. "Did Ellie not go through the routines and rules with you?"

You shook your head.

"Not surprising," she remarked before chuckling, "she always seems to get distracted-"

“We're doing morning cardio and stretching routines,” Ellie cut in, her voice clear and assertive, pulling out her sports bra and short shorts. “Your gym clothes are in your dresser.”

Abby bit her lip, suppressing a laugh. "Well, there you go.”

You nodded in understanding, “thanks..”

Walking to your dresser, you pulled open the top drawer, revealing a variety of outfits and uniforms, all varying shades of pink. The sight left your head spinning a bit as you realized this would be your life for the next couple of months.

As you began changing, you felt a wave of self-consciousness wash over you. With hesitant movements, you peeled off your shirt and skirt, the fabric slipping from your skin with a soft rustle. All the while, you were aware of Abby and Ellie's eyes lingering on you.

 Abby's gaze, though subtle, was sharply observant, her eyes tracing up and down your body with an almost predatory glare. It was as if she was memorizing every curve and contour. Meanwhile, Ellie's attention was more focused, her gaze lingering on specific areas of your body, like your hips and chest. There was an intensity in her stare, a curiosity that was borderline intrusive.

Slap! 

With a sharp sting on your ass, a sudden jolt of surprise chilled through you, causing you to yelp. "You'll make us late at this pace!" Dina's voice rang out, her arm wrapping around you protectively, shielding you from the view of Abby and Ellie.

"Ah! You're right," you exclaimed, quickly slipping into your gym clothes.

Dina gave you a quick grin before turning her attention towards Abby and Ellie. Squinting her eyes playfully, she shook her head slowly, teasingly disappointed in the two of them. Abby hurriedly looked away, pretending to be preoccupied with tying her shoelaces, while Ellie rolled her eyes.

───

As you and the other girls made your way to the track, you found yourselves walking together in a small group. Ellie and Abby led the way, showing no signs of slowing down despite your struggle to keep up. Meanwhile, Dina’s pace was slower, occasionally glancing at you.

"So, how'd you get caught?" Dina asked slyly, a mischievous look in her eyes.

You turned to look at her, taken aback by the sudden question. "What?"

"You were sent here for a reason," Dina said curiously, making Abby and Ellie turn their heads, intrigued to hear your response.

"I..don't think I want to share," you said, avoiding eye contact from feeling a bit nervous.

"Oh, come on!" Dina urged, now walking next to you, realizing your hesitance. "Don't be so shy. How about we tell you ours? Will that make you less embarrassed?"

"Hmm..alright," you agreed. Maybe learning about their experiences would help get to know them.

Excitedly, Dina clapped her hands together. "Okay, okay! I'll go first." She moved closer to you, her shoulder practically bumping into yours. "I got caught watching lesbian porn."

A snicker escaped Ellie's lips as she tried to hold back her laughter.

Dina shot a playful glare. "You have no right to laugh, El's."

"Doesn't make it any less funny," Ellie retorted.

Dina scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Since it’s sooo funny, you go then."

Ellie's eyes locked onto yours, her voice embarrassed. "I ordered a strap online, and it got delivered to the wrong address. To my fucking neighbor, Seth. Dude went ballistic and sent me here, said I needed to be controlled."

A rush of heat flooded your cheeks as Ellie's words sank in, full of curiosity and intrigue. The mere idea of her wearing a strap sent a flow of sensations that pulsed throughout your body. Your throat became dry trying to visualize it. 

"Ab's! Your turn!" Dina interrupted excitedly, Abby's story was always her favorite.

Abby smirked, turning her gaze towards you. "Unlike Ellie, I got to use my strap," she remarked mischievously.

Ellie groaned at Abby'scomment, clearly unimpressed.

“I got caught fucking my father's assistant nurse with it.”

Dina squealed as she shook your arm excitedly. "Now THAT'S a coming out story!" she exclaimed.

Ellie shot Dina a glare, clearly annoyed by her reaction. With a scoff, she turned her head away, facing in the opposite direction.

Abby, on the other hand, smirked at Ellie's and playfully hit her back. "Aw, it's okay, El's," she said reassuringly.

"Okay, okay, tell us yours now," Dina urged eagerly, her and Abby's curious gazes fixed on you,

“Well..” you began, your hands fidgeting nervously as you mustered up the courage. “My parents walked in on me and my cheer captain…” You hesitated for a moment before continuing “...69’ing on the kitchen counter.” 

Ellie quickly snapped her head back to look at you. Dina and Abby’s eyes widened, completely startled.

“Y-yeah…” you confirmed, meeting the girls' shocked gazes. “Mid-squirt too…”

Ellie’s eyes widened as if they were going to pop. Dina’s jaw dropped, with her mouth slowly curving into a smirk, “You fucking win.”

───

"Alright, ladies," the head director announced, her voice carrying across the track, “forty-five minutes around the track, as per usual. Afterward, we hit the showers in preparation for cooking classes."

"Remember, ladies," she continued excitedly, "these skills aren't just beneficial, they also attract men! It's just another step closer to becoming 'normal'."

The moment the word "normal" left the director's lips, you noticed the collective eye rolls and groans from the other girls. Ellie's jaw tightened as she stared away, grumbling under her breath. Abby crossed her arms, completely unamused, while Dina couldn't help but snicker, lowering her face to hide her giggle.

With a sharp blow of the whistle, the director signaled the start of the morning run.

As you began your laps around the track, you couldn't help but notice the effortless speed and stamina of Ellie and the other girls. They seemed to glide around the track with ease.

Struggling to keep up, your legs began to burn. Your breath came in short, ragged gasps as you pushed yourself onward.

"Hey, you doing okay?" Abby asked.

"Ye..yeah..." you managed to reply between heavy breaths.

Abby arched an eyebrow, clearly seeing through you. "You do know we have about 20 more laps to go, right?"

Before you could respond, a sudden stumble sent you tumbling to the ground. Abby instinctively reached out to help, but her attempt only resulted in her losing her balance, causing her to trip and accidentally pull Ellie down with her.

Ellie hit the concrete hard, her knee taking the force of the fall. Gritting her teeth, she clenched her jaw tightly as pain shot through her scrapped knee. With all three of you on the ground, the sudden scene caused a chuckle from Dina. "Holy shit, you guys fell like bowling pins," she remarked.

"Shit, sorry El's-" Abby began to apologize.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Ellie yelled, her tone cold as she glared up at Abby.

Abby glared back at Ellie, her expression tense. "What-"

“Watch where you’re fucking going. It’s not that hard,” Ellie snarled, gritting her teeth as she noticed the large scrape on her knee.

“T-that was on me-" you added, feeling guilty for the accident.

Abby suddenly got up, her face contorted with anger as she looked down at Ellie. “I didn’t mean to, I-"

Ellie suddenly stood up too, her height making her have to look up at Abby. “I’m so fucking sick of you trying to assert something. It’s fucking annoying.”

Abby scoffed, “Yeah? I’m tired of your pussy fucking attitude.” She then moved closer towards Ellie, the sudden bump causing Ellie to sway a bit.

Ellie chuckled, tilting her head to the side before locking eyes with Abby. “Pussy, huh?” 

“You are what you fucking eat,” Abby snapped back, her tone sharp.

You got up from the concrete floor, every inch of your body feeling the lingering sting from the sudden impact. “She didn’t mean to, I tripped and-” you tried to explain, but before you could finish, Ellie raised her fist. Her initial target being Abby, who managed to step back just in time to avoid the blow. Unfortunately, you stepped further, positioning yourself between them, but before you could react, Ellie's fist mistakenly met your nose.

“Holy shit!” Dina yelled, her hand covering her mouth in shock.

You felt the impact jolt through your body as you stumbled back, finding stability in Abby's embrace as her arms wrapped around you from behind.

“Fuck, I am so sorry-" Ellie began to apologize, her voice filled with remorse.

“Fucking really?!?” Abby yelled, frustrated as she stepped you to the side. “You fucking hit her!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Ellie yelled back, her tone defensive as she tried to explain herself.

“Didn’t mean to? You punched her!” 

“G-guys, I’m fine-" you said, your voice strained through the pain, attempting to step towards them again, holding your throbbing nose.

“I was clearly trying to punch your bitch ass!” Ellie yelled.

“Oh yeah?” Abby raised her fist, aiming for Ellie, her knuckles clenched as she intended to give her a piece of her mind for hurting you and being such a brat. However, as you stepped in between them once again, Abby's fist accidentally hit you, the impact shocking you and causing a blur in your vision.

“Oh my god!” Dina yelled, her eyes widening in horror as she flinched.

You stumbled backward, the world blurring around you as you tripped over your loose shoelace, your body rushing towards the concrete floor once again, jarring your senses and sending a wave of pain through your body.

Abby took her hands to her chest, her mouth covered in disbelief.

“fuck, fuck, fuck! Are you okay?” Ellie exclaimed, her voice filled with concern as she quickly knelt down beside you.

Your nose was now bleeding, droplets of blood scattering across the concrete floor like raindrops. The metallic tang of blood filled the air, mixing with the scent of sweat. You winced as pain shot through your face, throbbing relentlessly.

“I think my nose is broken…” you managed to say, your words muffled by the blood dripping down your face.

“Now nobody can sit on her face,” Dina groaned.

[ellielatinagf]

Lacrosse Ellie!!!

Summary: your best friend Dina invited you to a lacrosse game her boyfriend was in. Then you see someone who catches your eye.

Warnings: some mild profanity, I think that’s all

Part 2 | Part 3 | part 4

“Cmon Loser!!” Your best friend, Dina, giggled.

“I told Avery we’d both be there!” Dina said “And besides what else do you have to do other than watch tik tok?” You couldn’t bails on Avery. She’s been your friend since middle school. You loved Dina to death of course, but sometimes Dina was such a good friend she pushed you out of your comfort zone. She meant well.

“Fine…I don’t even know anything about rugby or whatever it is..” you hugged as Dina was picking out a cute outfit from your closet

“Lacrosse” Dina corrected “ and don’t worry about it, just cheer when everyone else does. That’s what I do” she joked causing you two to giggle. After getting ready you and dina walked to your high school football field. There was a huge amount of people which surprised you at how many people actually like the sport.

You and Dina sat in the bottom of the bleachers towards the middle for the best view of the game. Finally, someone on the PA system started to announce the players as players started to flood into the field.

“Ladies and gentleman please welcome the Santa Monica Wolves and the home of the Jackson Mustangs!” The man boomed. Everyone was cheering including yourself.

“GO AVERY!” Dina yelled and you laughed. Avery looked over and waved at you both in the stands and smiled. The whistle blew and in a flash the players started running and all you saw was the flash of the ball

“Wait Dina, what side is ours?!” You yelled over the loud roar of the crowd. Dina laughed at your confusion of the game.

“The right side. Our team is wearing blue and yellow” Dina said. You made an interesting face at the fact. Blue and yellow? Interesting choice. You watched the game, now starting to understand the rules. It seemed simple enough but you knew it must be more difficult to physically do. You watched players throw the ball with precision and speed. You started to think about how you would do on that field. Horrible? Probably. But worth a shot. Then your thoughts got interrupted.

*crash*

You looked in front of you last the railing used the seal off the crowd and field. In front of you was a player from your school under a player in grey uniform. The girl in grey got up and spat on the girl in your school uniform

“Watch it..pal” the girl shouted. She sneered and walked away

Damn she’s buff you thought. You saw her grip her lacrosse stick and wipe the small trail of blood off her nose.

You looked back at the other girl. The first thing you noticed was her auburn hair. It was short, maybe shoulder length. It was in a half up half down style. Then your eyes averted to her build. She wasn’t super buff like the other girl, But she had some muscle. You saw her get up. She was taller than you. You look at her face. Finally. Her face was sprinkled with freckles. Her pink lips were the shade of a cherry blossom. Those eyes. God…those green eyes. They looked like two shining emeralds. Her expression was angry, no, more than angry. She wiped her face. The sweat that made her baby hairs stick to her face were scattered around her hairline.

“Ellie?! Are you okay?!” Dina yelled at the girl. Ellie. A name for that gorgeous face. On second thought, the face was a bit damaged. Blood was gushing out her nose and trickling down her mouth. You looked at the back of her jersey. Williams. Ellie Williams. Hm..what about Y/n Williams? You shook your head at the thought.

“M’good” the green eyed beauty shouted back. She looked back at you. The eye contact was enough to make you faint. You felt your cheeks get warm. She gave you a smirk. A goofy, bloody smirk.

She ran back to the field. Unfortunately she got substituted for another player, but that didn’t stop your eyes from being glued to her.

“Dina…how do you know that girl?” You asked

“Els? She’s in my art class” Dina replied. Art? You love Dina but art isn’t really her style. She attempted to draw you in 8th grade and you wounded up looking like if peppa pig had a long lost sister who was secretly a crocodile.

“You take art?” You asked in a teasing manner

“Shut up I need the credits” Dina said playfully shoving your arm. “That’s where Ellie comes in”

“Okay Picasso” you chuckled and Dina gives you a sly smirk. The rest of the game your eyes are fixated on Ellie. Thinking about her. Her voice. How her lips feel. Her touch. You caught yourself and shook yourself back to reality. Just in time too as you saw the people in the bleachers start to walk off.

You and Dina wait outside the locker room for Avery. You and Dina talking about how to correctly spell gray. The door opens and it wasn’t Avery who walked out.

It was Ellie

“Hey Els!” Dina smiles and inspects Ellie’s nose and bruise

“Hey Din” Ellie replied. Her voice. God it was so raspy. The way she talks so non-chalantly almost made you obsess with her even more. You smiled at Ellie.

“Hey You” she smiled. Your heart did a backflip and summersault at the same time.

“Hey…bud” You cringed. Even Dina have you a sideways look.

Wtf? What did I just say…? WHY?!

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. Um hi. I’m so dumb I’m sorry” you said starting to laugh out of nervousness.

Ellie chuckled and looked into your eyes again. Your breath hitched as she gave you a warm smile. You felt so…enamored by her you forgot everything. You forgot where you were. Hell you even forgot Dina was there. Who in fact was enjoying the show of watching you stutter over your words.

“You enjoy the show?” Ellie asked you softly.

“Me? Oh yeah it was cool. I mean until you got hurt but it was a good game” you said.

Nice one. Look at me, the rizz master.

“We lost princess” ellie chuckled

Oh

“I-I mean…we put up a good fight!” You stuttered. Ellie laughed and Dina was trying to hide her smile.

“I’ll catch you later babe” Ellie said walking away smiling and laughing. BABE?! That did it for you. Your face was so red you were gonna faint and have a stroke.

“Ooooh…Ellie Williams huh?” Dina asked smirking after Ellie left.

“Huh? What do you mean?” You asked knowing exactly what the brunette was talking about

“As your best friend, I approve of Williams” she giggled. Your face somehow got even more red.

“Dina…do you have Ellie’s insta…by chance?” You asked. For some reason, you needed that gorgeous woman

Okay it’s off to a rough start but bear with me😭 I might make a part two where reader makes an excuse to study with Ellie and learns more about her. Thanks for reading! Free Palestine 🇵🇸

Credits for artwork: Izabesos TwT on Pinterest

[ladyblackbirdart]

Girl with the Immunity

Part of a collab I did with the incredible Jade of Doodles.in.Wonderland! You can find her on IG and TT as well. We both decided to recreate the well known painting Girl with the Pearl Earring by Johannes Vermeer but using our favorite TLOU girls! Jade did Dina in an expertly made classic oil painting style done digitally. And here is my Ellie :3 We’d love for you to check it out!

[mimasroom2]

“But you’re like…. real pretty.” A Mean Girls Ellie au

Mean girls Ellie au but it’s only up until the burn book scene bc I do not wanna be writing the whole ass thing😭 Janice & Damian don’t exist in this au shhh we don’t need them.. we’re focused on Ellie. Also! Don’t worry ab the ages of characters plz LMAO just pretend they’re all in high school unless said otherwise. This took me a long time to write 2 be accurate 2 the movie so pleaseeeee show it some love ! Literally just mean girls but then I take my own route & they fuck😇

C/w: Regina!Ellie & Cady!reader have secret sexy time but that’s later 😋. Ppl are judgmental but it’s mean girls what did you expect. Uhh Ellie curses a lot ig. Strictly lesbian reader. Allusion 2 reader masturbating to Ellie but no details. David is their classmate (still a pedophile) & Ellie breaks his finger😘! Ellie is VERY morally grey. SLOWWWW BURNNNN.

You as Cady

Ellie as Regina

Dina as Gretchen

Jesse as Karen

W/c: 5k

𓆟. ° .• .𓆝 .• ° . 𓆟 . ° .• .𓆞

“Here’s your lunch. I put a dollar in there so that you can get yourself some milk. Ask someone where to do that, okay?”

“Dad, I’m fine. I can find milk by myself.” You roll your eyes playfully at him.

Today was your first day of high school. Well, actually public school in general. You had been living with your parents in Africa until you moved to the US, and that meant no more homeschooling for you.

You wave goodbye to your parents as they drop you off. “Yeah, I’m not worried. High school is gonna be a fucking breeze.” You think to yourself, turning around to walk into the school and you almost run face first into a bus. You look back at your parents and you swear to god your mom almost had a heart attack.

Great start.

~

“Thank fucking god.” You sighed to yourself. Finally the first few classes were done, and you could eat. You thought it was weird you had to eat on a schedule now, you could practically have lunch whenever you felt like it back in Africa, just like the grazing animals.

You can finally relax, kick up your feet, enjoy some nice quiet you time and-

“Holyyyy shitttttt.” You slowly take your headphones off as you walk into the roaring cafeteria. This is seriously where they expect you to eat? Sounded more like 100 dying elephants to you. You scoff and slowly start walking around, watching all the people at each different table converse with one another. There’s so many different cliques, and it seems like they just get worse as you go deeper into the cafeteria.

You stop in the very center of the cafeteria. You’re in front of a table with three people sitting side by side, not across from each other. There’s an Asian guy counting on his fingers, a girl with her hair in a bun and a really pretty smile, and a girl in the middle. She has her hair in a sort of half up half down style, freckles all over her face, and the cutest fucking nose you’ve ever seen. She looks up at you from her seat in between them, and you two make eye contact. Your heart practically jumps out of your chest. You’re completely mesmerized by her, but unfortunately the beautiful stranger keeps you from looking where you’re walking, and you run right into a guy carrying a lunch tray.

“What the shit-“ he starts, but then looks up at you. “Oh damn. Never seen you before. The names David.” He reaches his hand out to shake yours, and you catch him looking down your low cut shirt. He makes eye contact with you again and smirks, “How bout you pay me back for my lunch that’s now on the ground. Come with me to the tech booth after school.”

Suddenly you hear a voice coming from behind you, “Ew. Fuck off, David. No one wants to hit that.”

You turn around and it’s the girl you had locked eyes with before. You manage to say “Uh, hit what?” worried you’d somehow manage to get into a fight on your first day of school.

“You fuck off, Ellie. I’m just bein’ friendly. Plus, I bet she’d wanna hit. You see the way she’s lookin’ at me?”

You look between the two of them, still trying to figure out what they want you to smack. “Sorry, hit what exactly?”

The girl named Ellie looks you up and down, slowly. You gulp. “Do yah wanna have sex with him? Yes or no.”

Your eyes widen and you shake your head ‘no’ vigorously, earning yourself a laugh from the cute brunette defending you.

“Kay, it’s settled. No one wants to sleep with you. Move along, David. Can’t believe you’re in the same grade as us and yet you still somehow manage to be a pedophile.”

He scoffs and walks away. You smile politely at her, and try to wander off to find somewhere to sit. However, you can feel her eyes burning holes into your back, or maybe your ass, and she suddenly calls out to you, “Wait. Sit down. How come I don’t know you?”

You look around, point to yourself and say “Me?” Then mentally slap yourself. Who else could she be talking to?

“Yeah, you. Sit down, babe.” She nods her head at the seat in front of her, the way you’ve seen guys do. You sit down. You’re not going to say no to anyone defending you on your first day of school. And you’re definitely not saying no to the beautiful stranger beckoning you to sit with her.

The other two people at the table don’t smile as you sit down, they just look at Ellie and back at you. Ellie repeats herself, “How come I don’t know a pretty girl like you?”

You’re caught off guard, blinking at her while trying to think of something to say. “Oh, I’m new.” You shift in the uncomfortable plastic seat. “I just moved here from Africa.”

She raises one eyebrow. You notice there’s a scar through it. “Huh?”

“I was homeschooled.”

She grabs the chain she’s wearing around her neck and starts fiddling with it. “Huh?”

Do people not know what that is? You try explaining to her, “My mom taught me at home-“

She interrupts you, putting one hand in the air in a ‘stop’ motion. “No, fuck, I know what homeschooling is, I’m not stupid.” She leans in closer like she’s studying you. “So you’ve.. never been to a real school before?”

You shake your head ‘no’

“Shut the fuck up.” She scoffs and looks between the two people by her side, “Shut the fuck. Up.”

“I didn’t say anything..” You laugh awkwardly.

“Huh. That’s so interesting. But you’re like…. real pretty.” She raises her eyebrows.

“Oh! Uh thank you.” You look down, trying to hide your blush.

“Ahh, so you agree. You think you’re real pretty?” Ellie has this shit eating grin on her face, and for a second you think she’s no better than the guy who was hitting on you.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know-“

“Wow!” Ellie’s eyes suddenly light up. “Love the bracelet you have. Where’d you get it?” She grabs your arm without permission and looks at your wrist. She rests her chin in her palm and looks at you with beautiful twinkling green eyes, waiting for you to reply. Somehow you didn’t notice her tattoo until just now. It’s really nice - ferns and what looks like a moth. Fuck, that’s hot.

“My uh-“ You swear you can’t speak. You’ve never had a stuttering problem and yet here you are tripping over yourself in front of the most enchanting girl you’ve ever seen. “My mom made it for me.”

“Ohmygod it’s just like mine!” The girl to the side of her finally speaks up, then giggles cutely, “That is soooo fetch.”

Ellie suddenly frowns. She turns to her side to face the girl and scoffs. “What the fuck is fetch.”

“It’s like slang! Uhm from Jackson.” She looks down, away from Ellie like she’s ashamed of what she just said.

“So if you’re from Africa….. why are you white??” The one guy of the group suddenly says, staring at you, almost like he’s disgusted.

“Holy fuck, Jesse. You can’t just ask people why they’re white.” The other girl scolds him.

“Let me talk to Dina n Jesse privately for like one second, would yah, dollface?” You swear she actually winks at you.

You gulp, and nod, looking around trying to avoid making any more eye contact with Ellie. She whispers briefly to the girl, who’s Dina, and then to the boy, who’s Jesse.

She turns back to you, “Alright, jus’ to let yah know, we don’t do this very often. So consider this a big deal, alright?” Ellie grins at you. You just nod.

“We’re inviting you to have lunch with us every day for the rest of the week.” Dina chimes in, smiling widely.

You put your hands up, “Oh you don’t have to-“

“Fuck yeah. So I’ll see yah tomorrow.” Ellie interrupts you again. You really should get used to that if you’re going to spend more time with them.

“On Wednesdays we wear pink.” Jesse winks at you and gives you a big thumbs up.

~

The next day you enter the cafeteria and Ellie immediately flags you over, making a ‘cmere’ motion with two fingers. “There she is.” She grins. She’s wearing a low cut tank top, a little pink cardigan and leather pants. The tank top has writing that says ‘a little bit dramatic.’ You smile to yourself, somehow it makes no sense and fits her perfectly at the same time. You look down at your own clothes, a simple button up pink shirt you borrowed from your mom and jeans. Suddenly you feel way less cool, even though you’re somehow sitting with the most popular kids in school.

This time, you’re sitting next to Jesse, with Ellie and Dina across from you.

“Yknow how many calories are in this? Doesn’t say.” Ellie hands you some sort of bar and you look at the numbers on the wrapper. 48/120.

“Yeah, that should be 40%.” You hand it back to her, but your fingers touch hers accidentally. There’s butterflies in your stomach again, you realize they’re the same ones from yesterday. You thought it was just first day jitters.

She stares at you and keeps her hand there a moment too long, before clearing her throat and saying, “Fuck it. I’m getting cheese fries.” She pulls her hand away and stands up swiftly.

Dina watches her walk away then turns back toward you. “So. Are there any boys you think are cute?”

You try to think of the first girl your mind remembers that’s not Ellie. “Well, there’s this girl in my calculus class-“

“Who is it?” Jesse interrupts you, and Dina’s eyes widen.

You clear your throat, “Her names Cat.”

“No!” They both shout in unison, and it actually makes you jump a little.

Dina actually fans herself as if she’s going to faint. You swear you’ve only seen that in movies. “Ohmygod you can’t like Cat! That’s Ellie’s ex girlfriend.”

“They went out for a year. She gave her the tattoo on her arm.” Jesse chimes in.

You try to hide the confused yet pleased look on your face when you find out Ellie likes girls too.

Dina continues, “Listen, any exes are off limits to friends. That’s just like, the rules… everywhere.” She crosses her arms and Jesse nods. “Oh, but don’t worry. I won’t tell Ellie what you said. It’ll be our little secret.” She smiles at you.

~

At the end of the day, you’re walking back to the parking lot, just thinking to yourself. Jesse seems probably the nicest, but he’s basically got no head on his shoulders. At least from what you could tell. Dina’s nice too, but there’s something off about her. Maybe because she’s closer to Ellie than Jesse? You felt like you couldn’t trust her entirely. And Ellie. Fuck man, she’s absolutely gorgeous. You can’t get her out of your mind no matter what you do, you stayed up later than usual last night thinking about her… but that doesn’t matter right now.

Suddenly, you hear a car beep from behind you. You turn around to see all three of them in a classy convertible, with Ellie driving. “Get in, fuckface, we’re going shopping.” you hear her say, and well, you can’t really say no.

Ellie’s like.. a hot masc bratz doll. You never had any dolls. Especially not bratz. Your mom hated them. She’d probably hate Ellie too, thinking about it.

~

You four end up walking through a mall, and there’s actually a lot of people from your school there. The three of them are just.. passing by all these cool looking stores. You haven’t had the chance to actually shop yet since you’ve moved, and you don’t want to feel any more alien than you already do, so you don’t ask Ellie to stop by any of them. You’re all walking side by side, but Ellie’s the farthest away from you. She points at a shop labeled ‘Spencer’s’ and whispers something to Dina. Dina laughs and has to hold onto Ellie’s arm so she doesn’t fall over. You feel your face grow red, and you’re surprised to see that you actually feel jealous. Whatever she said must’ve been really hilarious.

Suddenly, Ellie stops walking and holds out her hand. “What. The. Fuck.”

You look across the way and see the guy who was hitting on you yesterday talking to a girl who looks about 14.

“Holy shit! Is that David?” Jesse steps forward.

“Yeah. It fucking is.” Ellie crosses her arms and scoffs. “And look who he’s talking to.”

This time, Dina steps up, her jaw dropped. “You’ve gotta be fucking shitting my dick.” Even from knowing her only two days, you can tell she never cursed like that, so it must be serious.

“Dina, who is that?” You ask her.

She answers you, but doesn’t look at you. She just keeps staring at the scene playing out in front of her. “That’s one of the damn kids I babysit. Practically my own sister. And fucking pedo David is talking to her.”

“Wait, what makes him a pedophile?” You ask, looking between the three of them.

“He’s been caught talking to girls who are reallyyyy young. Like, even though he’s 17, that’s still fucked up.” Dina answers. “Not just normal talking too. Like, full on crazy shit. Keeps telling them they’re special.”

You shudder and turn to look at him again.

“Yknow. I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned out to be a cannibal too.” Jesse states and looks at you.

Ellie huffs, unfolding her arms, “Follow me.”

You three speed walk behind Ellie as she makes a beeline straight towards David and the little girl. Dina and Jesse are muttering about how they don’t think this is a good idea, which makes you curious as to what the hell Ellie’s going to do to him.

“Who’re you talkin’ to, David?” Ellie asks in a sing song voice, which actually makes her sound way scarier.

He turns around and throws his arms up, immediately annoyed at Ellie for ruining his creepy actions yet again. “What the fuck do you want, Ellie.”

She puts her hands on her hips, “Don’t make me repeat myself. Who the fuck are you talking to?”

Shit.. you really shouldn’t be thinking about this right now, but that was really hot. You glance at the girl and she looks visibly relieved she’s not talking to him anymore, which says a lot. Ellie and David continue arguing while Dina comforts the girl and tries to pull her away from the situation.

“Ohhhoho shit.” Jesse says and points to Ellie slowly taking a few steps back from David while she’s still talking to him, which makes him follow her.

“What’s going on?” You ask him.

He shakes his head, “Just watch.”

“Cmere, David. Pretty boy like you got nothin’ to lose.” Your blood would boil at what she said, but it’s pretty obvious she’s faking it. Well, obvious to everyone but him.

She beckons him to follow her into a small hallway which nobody’s paying attention to. If there was one thing about Ellie, it’s that she could get anyone to do whatever she wanted.

You and Jesse subtly walk closer to them so you can listen. David’s so entranced by Ellie he’s not paying attention to anything else.

Ellie twirls a lock of her hair around her fingers, looking up at him, trying to appear cute and innocent. “Yknow I thought they were all just rumors.. but, I guess it’s true.” She looks him up and down, and makes it obvious she’s looking at his crotch.

He smiles at her, “What?”

She pretends to think, and gently holds his hand with both of hers, “Hmmm..” She looks away bashfully. You almost laugh at how oblivious he is. “Oh, I shouldn’t say..” she eggs him on.

“Nah, quit playin’. Just tell me.” He’s actually grinning so wide, he looks like he’s in a candy store. Does he really think people are raving about his dick that much?

Ellie’s face falls flat in a second, “I guess it’s true that you’re a fucking pedophile.” And she swiftly twists his hand in one motion, and you hear a crack.

Your eyes grow wide and he yells and curses at her, falling to his knees on the floor. She just taps her foot impatiently, waiting for him to shut up so she can talk.

“You’re gonna go and tell that little girl’s parents what you were doing. Everyone saw you, and now everyone can hear you screaming in pain.” She actually laughs. “There’s no hiding now, David.”

He looks up at her and yells, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL THEM!??”

“Tell them that Ellie is the girl who broke your fucking finger.”

And then she walks away.

~

Ellie drives the four of you to her house to hangout, you try texting your parents you’ll be home for dinner, but you’re honestly not sure. And it’s only Wednesday. As soon as you get there your jaw drops, this place looks like it’s out of a damn movie.

“Wow, Ellie. Your house is really nice.” You say, not looking away from it.

“I know right.” She smirks at you.

Dina leans in and whispers to you, “Make sure you check out her dad. Damn, he’s hot.”

You guys walk in and her dad immediately greats you. He’s holding a small chihuahua and it’s almost comical considering how big and muscular he is.

“Hey, Mr. Miller. This is Cady.” Dina motions towards you. He shoots you a little finger gun and puts the dog down.

“Jus’ wanna tell yah.. if yah need anythin’ don’t be shy, okay? No rules in this house. I’m not like a regular dad. I’m a cool dad.” He winks and turns toward Ellie, “Right, baby girl?”

She’s leaning against the counter. Her face is completely blank as she shuts him down immediately, “Please stop talking.”

Ellie leads you all upstairs to her massive ass room. You thought the outside was impressive, but this is crazy.

“This is your room?” You spin around.

Ellie sits down to take off her shoes. “Mhmm. It was Joel’s room… but I made him trade me.”

You take off your shoes too and look around. There’s pillows, posters, and pictures everywhere that are just adorable. You can see a selfie printed out of the three of them that Dina took.

“Hey, someone put on Take On Me.” Ellie says.

Ellie takes off her little pink cardigan. You don’t mean to stare, but how could you not? Her bare arms are so toned and defined..

She snaps you out of your trance, “Cady, do you even know who sings this?”

“Umm.. Weezer?”

She looks you up and down slowly. She sure loves doing that. “Ugh I love her. She’s like a martian.” She says to Dina.

Jesse walks over to a bookshelf and picks up a hot pink book. It’s the size of a photo album. “Holy shit, I forgot about this.” He laughs.

Ellie glances over to look at what he’s holding. “Damn. Haven’t touched that thing in forever.”

“Look at this, Cady. It’s our burn book.” Dina motions you over to look at it. “See, we would cut out pictures from the yearbook and write little comments.”

Jesse starts reading, “Abby Anderson has sex in boats.”

“Still true.” Ellie chimes in.

“Owen Moore is a fat virgin.” Dina reads.

Ellie snorts. “Still half true.”

She sighs and looks at you. You’re immersed in the burn book and yet, you can immediately feel her eyes on your skin. You look up at her. She has a completely different look in her eyes. Her stance isn’t as strong, she’s fidgeting with her fingers, and her eyes are glossy. She looks almost.. vulnerable.

You keep looking at her, puzzled, when she walks over to you and takes your arm. She’s gentle this time, opposed to when she did the same thing to look at your bracelet when you first met her. She leads you over to her ginormous closet. Dina and Jesse are still giggling at the burn book, they don’t even notice you two left. She steps closer to you.

“We need to get you some new clothes.” Ellie says. But her voice is lower and not as loud as when she usually talks. You try your best to control your breathing, you swear you could get off on just her voice alone.

It’s that weird stage or moment in time. Where you’re not entirely sure if the other person is feeling and thinking the same things as you. It makes you nervous, especially because you haven’t done this kind of thing a lot before. And especially because it’s Ellie fucking Williams.

She steps even closer to you. “Fuck. Needa help you out with clothes.” She mutters. You can barely hear her, she may as well be talking to herself.

She calls Jesse and Dina over with a few snaps of her fingers. “Can you two go make the four of us some drinks. Virgin margaritas.” She turns towards you. You’re just inches away from her face. You’re way too close. “Cady, what do you like?” She asks, making direct eye contact with you. “Lemon lime?” She asks, furrowing her eyebrows almost like she’s pouting, before you can answer her.

Jesse nods and heads out of the room. Dina gives Ellie a weird look, but pulls out her phone to look up recipes and follows Jesse downstairs.

You wait a few moments before you stop hearing footsteps on the stairs, then attempt to ask Ellie what’s going on, “Ellie, why-“

She cuts you off before you can finish, like how she always does. Usually it annoys you, but right now it’s different. Right now it means that she’s really the one in charge. She reaches up and fiddles with the collar of your shirt.

“Cmere, baby. I like you.. okay? You’re cute.” You weren’t sure if she was talking about you platonically or romantically. Her tone was so casual, like she was talking about what to have for dinner, and yet the way she was caressing you made your knees weak. Well, you weren’t sure until she pulls you in by the shirt and smashes her lips against yours.

You immediately gasp and whimper at the action, and become embarrassed at how inexperienced you are. But she fucking loves it, kissing you deeper and unbuttoning a few buttons at the top of your shirt. When she uses her tongue, it’s over. You moan into her mouth and your hands desperately grab at her. She laughs and you can feel the same shit eating grin she gave you when you first met her.

You break away, suddenly remembering that Dina and Jesse are downstairs and could be back any minute. “You sure they’re gonna be gone long enough?” You didn’t know how far she wanted to go… but you could guess.

She nods. “I’m sure. Between the two of them, yeah. Jesse doesn’t know how to make anything and Dina’s gonna spend at least 15 minutes making it perfect after she finds a recipe. Plus they’ll probably both spend another 7 or so minutes arguing wether they should really make it virgin or not. And my dads playing one of his shooter games. Trust me, having a big house comes in handy.” She leans in closer to you, “In any case, with how good I’m gonna make you feel, you won’t be lasting very long.”

And with that she immediately starts making out with you again. It’s sloppy and desperate and not something you would expect from Ellie. But this vulnerable side just seems so much more like her. You pull at her hair, and she fucking moans, the slutty sound sending heat straight down to your pussy.

You pull away again, and she looks up at you like she’s about to cry if she doesn’t touch you. You shakily nod and she bites your neck hard. Thank god you’re wearing a high collar button up.

“Fuck, Ellie.” You yelp, a little too loud, so she shuts you up by soothing the bite marks with her wet tongue. You whine for more, trying any way you can to pull her closer.

She hits a particularly sensitive spot, you gasp and open your eyes. You remember where you are, and look around in her closet. It’s a decent sized walk-in one. Everything’s sorted by color and style. Gorgeous shoes are on racks on the side. A nice fancy chaise is in the middle. You see a few name brand purses throughout. Between Ellie’s teeth and your envy for her life, you feel on fire.

“You always get what you want.” You seethe through your teeth.

“Shut your fucking mouth. Right now is about you.” She pulls away from your neck and reaches straight down to your jeans. She pauses, looking at you to ask for permission. You gulp, nodding to tell her you want her to. She unbuttons your pants and lets them fall down your legs just a little bit, to give herself better access to your panties.

She pulls those down too, and places two fingers to where you’re wet. She gasps, and you cover your face with your hands. “Shit, no.” She pulls down your arms with her non dominant hand, and quickly places a kiss on your cheek. “You’re not gonna hide from me, baby.”

You nod, swallowing. You can feel her making circles around you, wanting to push in. “Please, Ellie.” You beg. You’ve never sounded more desperate in your life.

With one swift motion she pushes two fingers inside you, and pushes you back so that you land against the wall. You gasp and are about to retort, but you accidentally cut yourself off with a moan as Ellie starts pumping her fingers in and out of you. Her other hand is up against the wall above you. You whimper as she picks up pace, this kind of stuff only happens in fiction. You don’t want to cover your face again, so you try turning away from her. She immediately grabs your chin with her spare hand and forces you to face her. “You better look at me when I’m fucking you.” She stares directly into your eyes.

You moan at how rough and fucking gentle she is at the same time. You don’t know why you’re surprised, but you can tell she wants you to enjoy this. Thinking about it, this actually doesn’t benefit her in any way. She’s not the one getting off. In fact, she’d be in major shit if anyone walked into the room.

With each passing second, she’s getting faster. Picking up her pace and making no attempt to be quiet, grunting in your ear. You look down and see her tattoo flexing as she uses her whole arm to fuck you.

“Yeah, you’re gonna fucking cum onto my fingers like you know what’s good for yah. Making a fucking mess on me, shit. So wet, dollface.” She mutters through her teeth. You knew she loved to talk, but she especially loves to talk when she’s making you feel so good.

Just a few more sentences and you’re coming undone, your legs shake and she has to hold your hip to keep you in place.

“Uuugh.. mm. ‘M gonna cum, Ellie.”

“Fucking give it to me.” She huffs out and curls her fingers up into you. Immediately white hot pleasure takes over you. You’re cumming on her fingers just how she wanted. She’s still holding onto you, making sure you don’t fall as she fucks you through your orgasm. She’s fucking magical, making your orgasm last as long as she can, until your eyes are rolling back and you’re whining that it’s too much.

You’re finally able to slow down your breathing and take in what just happened. God, that was good. So much better than when you fucked yourself to the thought of her.

Ellie brings the two fingers she used on you up to her mouth and sucks on them. She even makes eye contact with you until she’s done cleaning them. Your jaw was already on the floor. Now it’s 6 feet below.

You hear Jesse say “Fuck” from downstairs, so you quickly pull your pants back up and button up your shirt in a mirror. Ellie fixes her hair and walks out of the closet, meeting Jesse and Dina as they come into the room.

“She spilled one.” Jesse says, nodding towards Dina who’s holding a tray of now three margaritas.

“Are they actually virgin?” Ellie crosses her arms.

“For once, yeah.” Dina says. “So. Who’s not getting one?”

You practically march out of the closet, “I want it. I’m fucking thirsty.” You greedily grab the drink from off the tray and take a large sip. All three of your friends are staring at you, and you bring it down from your lips. “What! Trying on clothes gets tiring okay?” You whine.

“Fuck it. ‘S my house. I’m getting one.” Ellie says.

“And I’m not the one who spilled it.” Jesse sticks his tongue out at Dina, who rolls her eyes.

The four of you sit down on the couch in Ellie’s room. You’re sitting next to Ellie, she crosses her legs and puts her arm around you.

Dina and Jesse give her a look, but she handles it so smoothly, you swear she’s prepared for anything. “Fuck it, you’re officially part of our group now. Gon’ stay by my side longer than just the rest of the week.” She announces, lightly punching you in the arm.

Jesse holds up his drink, “To Cady?” He prompts, looking between you and Ellie.

She nods, holding hers out to meet Jesse’s. You bring yours up too. “To Cady!” All four of you say, and Dina squeals and claps her hands.

You look over to Ellie. She’s still holding you in her arm, she smiles softly, grabs your side and brings you in a little closer.

𓆟. ° .• .𓆝 .• ° . 𓆟 . ° .• .𓆞

[beforeimdeceased]

I’m actually in LOVE with crybaby!!! It’s so good😫😫😫

CRYBABY! - (E.W) PT8, FINAL PART!

pairing: mean/cruel ellie x sensitive/emotional reader.

synopsis: you weren’t you anymore.

a/n: it’s so over…thank you all for the love you’ve shown crybaby! i’m happy to say i’m actually proud of something i’ve written, for the first time in a long time. thank you for reading and for all your comments and support! tags: @skylerwhitwyo

you’re a crisis of my faith

masterlist.

you weren’t you anymore. you weren’t you when abby opened the door to find you and ellie tangled together in an illicit affair. you weren’t you when you looked into her eyes, saw the pain and agony, and asked her if she didn’t mind closing the door. that you were busy doing something.

you weren’t you because you didn’t chase after her when she left. because you didn’t apologize, you just went on as you were. forgetting. you went on forgetting all the way home in her car. melting the pain away, filling the silence with meaningless conversation she was too upset to engage in. knuckles white while she gripped the steering wheel.

you’re not yourself.

at first it was fun to let go with ellie. she liked that you didn’t care anymore. that you could joke around with each other. that she didn’t have to walk on eggshells with you. or atleast, that’s how she felt. until she was missing you on tour one night.

alone in a bar, waiting for dina and jesse, she came across someone that looked as doe eyed as you used to be. her heart started to sink when she skipped over.

another bar, years ago. when you’d caught her after another show in which she’d made a mistake. you came to her with flowers from a fan and a note. “hey ellie this is—“

“fuck i’m such a fucking idiot.” she blurts. you sigh, anticipating a string of curses and insults, but she sees the note and the flowers. “what’s this?”

“it’s a note from a fan, she didn’t get to catch you before you ran off.”

she holds her hand out and you place the piece of paper in it. standing as you hold the flowers. watching her read it.

this is the first concert i’ve been to in a while and i just want to say thank you so much. i struggle a lot with social anxiety and big crowds and stuff but i really wanted to see you. i’ve been a fan since i found your guy’s cover of take on me on soundcloud and it struck a deep chord within me. you’re amazing, you know that, but i just wanted to tell you that. just in case you forget.

— your biggest fan

you hand her the flowers, pretending not to see her tears. pretending not to feel teary eyed yourself. because you’d never seen her sad cry. you’ve seen her angry cry plenty of times, but never fix her face into a frown and let the strains of tears overflow. you look away as sadness fills the space between you.

“you’re ellie williams right?” the doe eyed girl brings her back to the present. she nods. “in the flesh.”

it only took a couple drinks and ellie’s charms to lure her away from the crowded area. nestled in the corner of the bar, ellie latching her mouth onto the girls neck. imagining your body in place of hers. pretending her moans were yours. wishing that she was you.

she’d felt dirty after she finished, a feeling that was entirely new to her. you both weren’t obligated to only be with each other after that night in the bathroom, but she couldn’t get you out of her mind. maybe it was because the girl reminded her of you? then she remembered that you weren’t like that anymore. that you had completely changed.

when tour ended and the group returned home, you took it upon yourself to throw a party. the old you would have gone for a small get together at your house, with the three of them and donuts, but the new you was leaning towards some club soirée.

you were excited to show everyone more of the new you. a new style to match your new personality. a new way of living to replace your old one. completely killing the girl you’d been before.

you met them at dina and jesse’s place, ensuring you’d be there the second they got off the tour bus. excitedly rushing over to give them a hug, and ellie an awkward handshake. they look you up and down, taking in your changed appearance with concern. “new clothes?” jesse speaks up.

“new me.” you shrug, helping them carry their bags up.

when everything is settled in, they all grab a seat on the couch. you slump into their loveseat, sighing. “so there’s this party...”

dina shakes her head. “no no absolutely not. i love you, but god we’re exhausted. no party tonight.”

“it’s tomorrow. it’s your welcome back party.” the corner of your mouth twitches. “i want to sleep for atleast a week.” dina huffs. “i need to go shower right now actually.” she gets up, placing a kiss on your forehead when she passes by. jesse does the same, following behind her.

you don’t take offense to it. this might’ve hurt you a little bit in the past, feeling stupid for planning a party when it’d make sense that they want to rest. now, you didn’t care. you could party by yourself. you could party with ellie.

you look over at her, and she looks like a wounded stray. like she’s guilty of something she didn’t do. you get up and join her in place of the lovebirds. a wide smile on your face. “are you gonna come to the party?”

she breathes. “maybe. i don’t know yet.”

it’s silent for a beat. you pull out your phone and she remembers the day she took it. the agony in your voice when you were asking for it back. the day she made you cry. she shakes away the thought.

“how about we play a game?”

the peace you were experiencing in the moment felt foreign. it’s been years since you had a chance to have quality time with ellie. without her ruining it, ofcourse. it was almost like those first few weeks back when you met. playing all the board games lodged in the bookshelf of jesse’s parent’s place. before him and dina had moved in together.

these were those very same games. monopoly, sorry, connect four, and more. you settled on connect floor, crisscrossing your legs on the floor. she joins you, getting comfortable.

“i’ll keep score!” you offer, going to your phone’s notes. before you can do much about it, you realize that it’s shutting off because the battery is low. you lodge it into your back pocket and shrug, grabbing an empty envelope off of the couples counter. “my phones dead, i’ll just write it.”

then you’re making a t chart, and ellie feels as if all the air is being kicked out of her lungs. your handwriting is the same as the one that was on that letter.

but that can’t be true, right? this is the same fan who’s been writing her for years. this is handwriting that’s been on signs held up at shows. the handwriting on a small cluster of loyal groupie’s handmade tshirts.

but surely she’d have noticed this before. you’d written in front of her before, right? memories were fuzzily being put back together in the moment. your unfiltered and unconditional love for her. your kindness that you’d extended even when she was mean to you. even when she was cruel.

even when you’d had enough of the tear filled nights and decided you needed time away. you still asked how ellie was, she could hear it on the other side of the fucking phone. when you were talking to dina and jesse. when you were communicating love through them to her.

you called all those rehab centers to get her help, that’s how jesse had found one so fast. you left her meds on the table for her the next morning, not dina. it was your voice telling her she’d had enough. it was you, being brave enough to take her verbal lashings because you knew if she didn’t take it out on you, she would take it out on herself.

it was you, it was always you. she was remembering now.

“ellie?”

you look away from the paper to find her crying. crying because the you that was always there, had slipped between her nimble fingers. had melted into the cracks of hatred. she was crying because she realized why she was feeling out of sorts. she hadn’t gotten a letter this week.

a letter from—well, you.

she wanted to yell at you. to scream at you. to call you stupid for staying around when you know how she is. she wanted to curse herself for getting you to let your guard down with a fake apology, and fucking it up all over again. for pushing you past your breaking point.

“i don’t wanna play anymore.” she felt disgusting. she felt like she was going to be sick. “ellie what’s the matter—“

she’s hyperventilating now, watching as you slowly slide towards her. extending your arms while you try to catch her in a hug. she thought back to the days she called you useless. called you pathetic. called you a crybaby.

you hold her, and it’s the first time she’s ever truly felt held. the first time she’s in your arms and she’s sober. the first time she’s in your arms and she feels sorry. truly, terribly sorry.

you pull her in closer to you, turning her onto her side so you can rub your thumb across her cheek. wiping some of her tears away. she begins to cry even harder, but you don’t push her away. even when your pants are soaked and snotty. you let her lay there, and cry into you.

[whore-era]

never meant to be

☁︎ ellie x fem!reader ☁︎ summary: in which you and ellie go through the heartbreaking realization that love is never fair. ☁︎ warnings/themes: cheating (ellie cheats on current gf with you), dina is your sister, heartbreak/forbidden love, not a happy ending, familial issues | fingering/thighriding (r!recieving), use of strap, fem anatomy ☁︎ a/n: hi. don't hate me lol. sometimes i write stories like this to feel a little something. also it's 2:30 am and i have to be in class by 7:00am so this is not proofread lol. there will be NO part two. ☁︎ word count: 9,800 words aka my longest fic yet

for as long as you could remember, you were always in dina's shadow.

despite you being the youngest daughter, dina was your parent's pride and joy. she was the smartest and prettiest daughter, who never failed to win the family's attention.

dina was the 'perfect' daughter in your parent's eyes. she followed in mom's footsteps and won prom queen 3 years in a row and was crowned 1st place as miss wyoming since she was 14 in the annual pageant every year. last year, she got accepted to yale university with the intention of going to law school and becoming a criminal lawyer just like father.

your parents were set on having two extremely intelligent daughters who attended ivy league colleges and strived for an above-average career like an award-winning surgeon or a ground-breaking research scientist.

but that wasn't you. at all.

from a young age, you were always attracted to art — such as sculptures, paintings, murals, and various types of music. you had a keen eye for things more abstract, which always set you apart from your own family.

sure, math and science were subjects that came easily to you, and you had no difficulty with keeping straight A's at school, but you always knew you wanted to do something different than what was set for you.

despite being the black sheep of the family, you did find yourself envying dina. she had the bigger room, nicer clothes, a car, and always got money whenever she asked mom and dad for it. it was hard not to be jealous.

especially since she started bringing ellie williams around.

dina met ellie during her freshman year at yale, and the two hit it off. they officially became a couple this summer, and with the approval of our parents, ellie followed dina back home and agreed to stay the entire summer with her and the family.

from the first moment you met ellie, you were smitten.

it was the first week of summer, and you were relishing in all the much-needed vacation time, knowing by the time summer was over, you would be on your way to los angeles for college.

you were relaxing in bed with your copy of 'pride & prejudice', reading it for probably the 70th time. from your bedroom, you can hear a car pulling up in the driveway followed by your mother's loud voice yelling "welcome home!!", and then slamming car doors. getting up from your comfortable position, you drew the linen curtains to the side and took a peek out your window, down at the driveway.

from above, you could see mother taking dina in her arms, giving her a hug and placing a kiss on her forehead.

your eyes drift to father, and to the girl he was shaking hands with.

she was unlike anyone you've ever seen. her short brunette hair was cut short, hanging right at her neck in the style of a mullet. her slender arms revealed one tattoo on her right forearm that was visible underneath the folded flannel layered over a plain white t-shirt.

she held this charming aura about her, evident by how your father let out a hearty laugh as he gently nudged her on the shoulder. this woman must've been impressive because it was a rarity to see your father laugh, let alone when first meeting someone.

as dina grabbed the girl's hand to drag her inside the house, her eyes flickered up toward you, lingering on you for a little too long.

-

"so, ellie, tell us. what are you studying at yale?" your father's deep voice resonated throughout the dinner table.

"ugh, daaaad, please. no more interrogating my girlfriend," dina groaned out, "you're gonna scare her away, and we've only been together a month!"

"i was just asking a question, sweetie. no need to fret," your dad interjected as he took another bite of chicken.

ellie cleared her throat before putting her fork down, "uh, i'm actually in a computer science program— i'm in the works of developing my own software."

father's eyes widened, "wow! how impressive! what kind of software is it?"

"it's actually a type of software used by government agencies to store highly classified government documents, sir," ellie added, "it keeps unverified users locked out of the servers so they don't access the documents unless they recognize the IP address, and the software reports any unknown addresses back towards us to be monitored for criminal activity."

your ears would usually tune out the boring conversations held at the dinner table, but you couldn't help but be completely absorbed in everything ellie was saying and it only left you wanting to know more.

"how exciting! glad dina found someone who's doing something significant with their life," your father complimented, "unlike our youngest."

"such a shame. you graduated top of the class this year, yet you want to attend art school." your father's eyes bore into the side of your face as you pretended not to notice his words, distracting yourself by poking at the cold piece of broccoli on the expensive china plate.

"art school is cool too," ellie complimented, "what are you majoring in?"

you picked your head up, surprised by ellie's sudden interest in your studies. you were used to everyone else asking about dina and talking about dina and would compare you to dina. it was exhausting.

"um— fine arts. i'm also minoring in graphic design," you managed to squeak out, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

"and what are you planning to do with that, young lady?" your dad prodded in his signature stern voice, "you're 18 years old, almost 19, you have to start thinking about your future seriously."

you take the glass of water, and take a sip from it, suppressing that urge to cry from his words, "okay, father."

your mother places a hand on your dad's shoulder, attempting to calm him down, "honey, not at the dinner table."

he doesn't say anything else, and continues eating his dinner, whereas you lost your appetite a long time ago, and are no longer feeling in the mood to be around your family for another second.

the fork falls from your hands, creating a clinging sound against the ceramic dish. "may i be excused?" you tremble, ignoring the burning gaze from the brunette's eyes. you couldn't put into words the humiliation you felt at this moment, and you couldn't bear to look at dina's mocking smirk or at ellie's pitiful stare.

"okay, sweetie. goodnight." your mother murmured. you got up from the chair, and scurried out of the dining room, wanting nothing more but to curl up under your covers and lay in dark silence.

as you ascend up the stairs, you can hear dina continuing the conversation as if nothing ever happened, laughter and jokes ensuing in your absence.

-

the past two weeks with ellie in the house was an adjustment you had to get used to.

there have been a few occasions where you'd forget to lock the bathroom door, and bam, ellie barges in. luckily, she was a gentlewoman and always covered her eyes even though you were fully clothed. but it was extremely awkward, to say the least.

one morning, you thought the house was empty and took the opportunity to blast your favorite pussycat dolls song and belt out the chorus while shaking your hips around in the living room, only to find ellie looking down at you from the top of the stairs with an amused expression on her face.

needless to say, you put an end to your one-woman concerts and kept them in the privacy of your bedroom.

it was currently 2:45am, and you just wrapped up a painting you started this morning. the house was still and silent, and no one else but you were awake during this time of night.

feeling the gurgle and rumble of your belly, you take off your headphones and tiptoe down the stairs. with your socked feet pitter-pattering on the cold tile of the kitchen, you opened the door to the fridge and scanned the shelves for a tasty late-night snack.

"hmmm...." you hummed, "strawberries and cream might do the trick." you pulled out the bowl of strawberries and a tub of cool whip, and sat down on the tile, opening the lid, and dipping the berry in the creamy topping.

you were about 5 berries deep before you heard a voice clearing their throat, causing you to jump in your spot.

"isn't it a little too late to be eating dessert?" ellie queries. she was in a grey hoodie and plain grey sweatpants with half of her hair tied up. it was evident she probably just woke up, and a part of you felt a little guilty that you possibly were the reason for that.

unable to speak with a mouthful of fruit, you slowly shake your head left and right, eliciting a chuckle from the brunette.

"alright, no judgment here." ellie puts her hands up, "can i join you?"

swallowing the lump of red fruit down your throat, you respond, "sorry, yeah. of course," you hold up the bowl of berries, "want some?"

the girl crouches down and sits next to you on the floor, grabbing a strawberry and dipping it in the cool whip, then taking it all in one bite.

she chews momentarily before shaking her head in satisfaction, "not bad, not bad. never tried this combination before."

"really? i've had this snack for years, ever since i was a little girl," you smile, "it was my dad's favorite snack growing up..."

your voice trailed off as you reminisced about the earlier years when life was easier and you didn't have the pressure of worrying about college or career aspirations. all you and dina worried about was grilled cheeses and finding your bratz doll's missing feet.

ellie spoke again, "were you close with your dad growing up?"

you bit your lip, the sweet taste of strawberry and whipped cream present upon the skin, "yeah. we were," you laughed dryly, "we used to watch those cheesy law and order SVU shows all the time."

"yeah?"

"mhm," you hummed, "they were always entertaining to me. he thought that it'd eventually influence me to become a lawyer like him. he always said that we'd become the dynamic duo or whatever and that we'd kick ass in court."

ellie sat intently, watching you, listening to you as you told her this memory. from the moment she first met you when she got here, she knew you were quite the opposite of dina. dina was type A. she was occasionally uptight, a bit boring, and not really fit for ellie. ellie was chill and was a 'go by the flow' person, which was one thing dina hated about her. don't get her wrong, ellie liked dina, and she liked how dina was funny and smart, but she didn't really see them lasting long-term.

it was shitty. it was shitty how ellie didn't see herself being with dina for that long, and it was worse that ellie didn't have the guts to tell her.

but, for her own selfish reasons, ellie didn't want to tell dina, not yet anyways. she gravitated toward you and often found herself staring at you for a little too long during meals at the table and thinking about what you were doing in the next room over while dina was cuddled up in her arms.

ellie knew this was a bad idea. she could not get attached to her girlfriend's sister. it was nothing but a recipe for disaster.

but ellie was only human. she couldn't help her ever growing curiosity.

"you didn't want to be a lawyer?" ellie asked.

you shook your head, "hell, no. looks stressful and boringgggg," you sang out.

ellie laughed, "yeah, can't disagree with you there. dina tells me it involves lots of reading."

"yea, i'm good." you giggle, "what about you? have you always known that you wanted to work with computers 'n stuff?"

"i guess. i was always a 'nerd' and all that bullshit. loved watching sci-fi movies and shows and i'm also a huge gamer so—" ellie began, "i can't imagine myself not doing anything else other than techie shit."

you nod, putting another cream-covered berry in your mouth, "that makes sense. at least you're passionate about what you do."

"yeah, i guess," ellie snacks on another strawberry, "how 'bout you? you're an artist?"

you cover your mouth to muffle a laugh, "i wouldn't call myself an artist. but i do love painting. it's all i ever want to do."

"then it wouldn't be too much if i could ask to see some of your art."

your eyes widen, and you nearly choke on the fruity snack. "what?" your voice almost comes out sounding shocked.

"yeah, i mean, i'd love to see some of your stuff," ellie looked toward you with a sly smile.

"um, no," you laugh, "my parents haven't even seen some of my work."

you were hesitant to show anyone any of your artwork, and only allowing your best pieces to be kept in the security of your personal portfolio, only to be viewed by colleges for applications and such.

"aww, c'mon. i wanna see."

you huff, "maybe."

ellie smirked, "i'll take what i can get," she continues, "besides, think of me as....an art critic."

you let out a giggle, "oh yeah?"

the night progresses and you and ellie get lost in conversation, talking until 4am about life and whatnot. ellie was an easygoing person to talk to. she never seemed to judge you for any of your own opinions, and it felt like she was actually interested in what you had to say. it felt like you've known her for years, even though it's only been a matter of weeks.

you could already see the rays of orange peeking up from the navy, blue sky. it was already early morning.

"we should probably head back upstairs," you suggest, nodding your head towards the window, "the sun's gonna rise....and dina'll wake up soon."

it was like clockwork. dina woke up every morning at 6:30 am, never earlier nor later. you definitely did not want her to catch you and ellie here, alone and together.

for a moment, ellie forgot that she was here with dina. it was fucking terrible and she felt guilty, but she really liked spending the night talking with you and she knew she needed to do it again.

"uh— no, yeah, of course," ellie stood up first, holding out a hand to help you up next.

you took her warm hand in yours and hoisted yourself up until you were stable on your feet.

"thanks," you murmur.

"yeah, no problem."

ellie didn't pull her hand away, and neither did you. it was like your hands were two pieces of a puzzle, fitting perfectly in the spaces of each other's fingers.

realizing what was happening, you quickly pulled your hand away from hers, "uh—"

"fuck, sorry," ellie stammered, "i'm getting— um— awfully tired."

good excuse, ellie thought to herself.

"it's fine, no worries. let's head upstairs," you lead the way up toward the stairs with ellie alongside you. you stop in front of your bedroom door and ellie stops in front of dina's, her hand lingering on the doorknob.

"yeah?"

"um— just wanted to say goodnight, ellie." you smile at her, and she returns the favor.

"goodnight." ellie whispers, and you both head inside.

with dina still fast asleep, ellie crawls into bed next to her. she pulls the blanket close to her body, and turning away from her sleeping girlfriend, a small smile makes its way across her face as her mind drifts to you and how you were just a few feet away, a wall being the only thing separating you both.

and as you crawl into the comfort of your own bed, you couldn't help the wide smile that curls upon your lips as you thought about ellie, and how badly you wanted to talk to her again, ignoring the fact that she was probably laid up against your sister's body, holding her close.

it was an unfortunate thing — the slow formation of the connection between two people who were right for each other but were bound by the fate of knowing deep inside the chance of them being together was just not a possibility.

-

ellie could not get herself to fall asleep. she's been here for weeks, yet found herself tossing or turning in bed, never sleeping soundly for more than 3 hours at a time.

it happened again tonight. she fell asleep at 11:00pm, and here she was, wide awake at 3:00am.

she never knew how dina could do it— how she could make her body sleep at the same time, and stay asleep until morning.

ellie blamed it on the idea that her body wasn't adjusted to being at dina's house with her family. she thought that spending her summer vacation with dina's family would be fun and that it would be a good getaway from all the stress at school.

but ellie fucking hated your dad. from the first night she met him, she hated how he talked down to you. he was an asshole. it was obvious to ellie that he favored dina, and she knew it was only because she was following the same career path he was on. ellie didn't agree with how he felt about you at all, and desperately wished she could say something to him, but she thought it'd be best to not interfere...for now.

sighing, ellie took the covers off and quietly walked towards the door, slowly opening it and gently closing it.

she didn't know what the hell compelled her to walk over to your bedroom door, but before she had any time to even consider her actions, her fist planted three soft knocks on the surface.

ellie thought you must've been fast asleep by now, but a small part of her hoped that you would still be awake.

you swung your bedroom door open, unsure who would be knocking on your door at this hour, but was relieved to see it was ellie, "oh, hey."

ellie's eyes trailed up and down your body, taking you in and letting her eyes rake over the way your sleep shirt hangs loosely off your shoulder and how your cotton shorts stop mid-thigh.

she had to force her eyes back up on your face, and she was beating herself up for even letting her look at you that way, like a piece of meat.

"uh- er- sorry, i was just—" ellie stuttered, "i couldn't sleep."

you nod slowly, and step aside to let her inside your room.

god, this was such a bad idea.

after letting her inside, you close the door and lock it. walking back over towards your bed, you plop down on the mattress as ellie awkwardly stands in the middle of your room.

"you can sit down, you know," you giggle, and ellie shrugs and chooses to sit on your swiveling desk chair.

silence fills the air for a moment before ellie speaks up first.

"were you busy?"

you shake your head, "nope, was just reading a book."

"ahh, okay," ellie was silent for a moment before speaking again, "sorry again, for uh— bothering you."

"you didn't bother me," you laugh, "i'm usually up around this time anyways, jus' doing whatever."

ellie nods and turns the chair to face your desk where she sees your black leather sketchbook. her fingers open the book to a random page, and it was a sketch of a cat napping on a window sill in incredible detail.

the sound of pages flipping caught your attention, and you immediately jump to your feet as the realization hits you.

"hey! my sketchbook!" your hands quickly try to snatch the book from her hands, but ellie was faster, and got up and held the black book up and out of your reach. to your loss, ellie had the advantage of being a couple inches taller than you were, which made it extremely difficult for you to get to your book.

"these are amazing! let me just look through them a little bit longer—" ellie says, flipping through the pages of all the sketches you made, "holy shit— is that— is that me?"

your eyes grow wider, and you could feel the sweat seeping out of your pores, "give that back!"

you jump and try to grab the book, but ellie has this annoying smirk on her face as she holds the book high above her head, knowing you wouldn't be able to grab ahold of it due to your shorter stature.

"ugh, seriously?" you whine, flushing red in embarrassment, feeling like she just read an extremely personal section of your diary. in a way, your sketchbook was your diary.

"let me take a picture of my sketch and i'll give it back to you, deal?" ellie attempted to negotiate with you, but you narrowed your eyes at her, really not wanting her to have any evidence of your sketch at all. but she doesn't seem like the type to take no for an answer.

luckily, you were quite the trickster yourself. it's a youngest child thing.

you huff, "fine."

ellie smiles with pride, and as she lowers her arm to put the sketchbook down, you act fast and seize the book. but before you succeed, ellie snatches it back, and suddenly she's falling back onto your bed. you fail to steady yourself, following suit and landing on top of her, your forehead thumping against hers.

"ouch."

both of your eyes meet, and for a second, everything stands still. you and ellie don't move, afraid that whatever happens next, it'll end up with you both in a compromising situation.

"i— uh—" you sputter, "sorry." you quickly scramble up to your feet, getting off of her, and standing back to create some distance.

the absence of your body made ellie feel cold, but she pushed that feeling to the side and stood on her own two feet, handing you your sketchbook.

"thanks," you take the book from her hands and stuff it in the top left drawer of your dresser, where it usually is anyways.

"you know, those were really good," ellie mutters, scratching the back of her neck, "especially the one of me."

heat rises to your face once again, "it was from the day i saw you in the driveway— when you first got here with dina."

she nods, "i can tell, 's really good though. i swear."

you blush, "thanks," you think of something quick to change the subject, wanting to stray away from your sketch of her, still reeling in the embarrassment of her finding out.

"wanna watch the office?"

4:58am

you know what? imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so i thank you.

"god, i love dwight so much, dude," ellie laughs, throwing a chip in her mouth as she watches jim's character pull out the bobblehead and place it on his desk.

identity theft is not a joke, jim! millions of families suffer every year!

michael!

oh that's funny— michael!

you let out a sleepy giggle, cuddling your pillow. you and ellie had been on your bed with the show playing on your laptop for an hour already, while she munched away on a bag of chips you had in your room.

ellie turned her head to check on you, and she could tell by your heavy eyelids that you were about to knock out in any second, "you sleepy?"

"mhm," you manage to hum out.

she smiles, in awe at your cute, sleepy state.

"go 'head and sleep. i'll finish up this episode and let myself out when it's over," ellie murmurs. she unfolds the blanket that was sitting at the edge of your bed and places it over your body.

"you sure?" you ask, nearly half asleep.

"mhm. i'll be gone by the time you wake up." but you knew you didn't want ellie to be gone when you woke up and ellie didn't want to go either.

as the show continues to run, you close your eyes and fall into slumber.

you weren't sure what woke you up, but you did. you hear the sound of 'the office' theme song playing, causing you to stir slightly, but you were surprised by the pressure present around your waist.

you sit up a bit, and you see ellie fast asleep, with her arm wrapped tightly around your waist, spooning you.

you look at the clock next to your bed and read the time: 6:23 am.

the air is sucked out from your lungs. dina is gonna be up soon.

"ellie! wake up!" you whisper quite loudly in her ear, shaking her awake. she doesn't wake up, and just groans, pulling you back to hold you again.

ignoring the butterflies going rampant in your belly, you attempt to wake her up again, "ellie! please, wake up," you shake her arm, "dina's gonna wake up in any minute."

ellie's green eyes open, and for a moment she's glad it's your face she sees when she wakes up, until the realization dawns on her.

"shit, shit, shit," ellie curses, getting off your bed and standing up, "i have to go."

and she exits your bedroom, leaving you alone in your bed only with the memory of waking up in her arms.

as ellie slowly and quietly enters dina's bedroom, she's relieved by the sight of dina's body still fast asleep. she gets back in bed and turns away from her, trying to calm her fast heart rate down.

on cue, dina's alarm clock goes off at 6:30 am sharp. ellie can feel dina turning and shutting off her alarm clock, and then she scootches closer and wraps her arms around ellie's body, planting a kiss on her cheek.

"morning, babe," dina whispers, and ellie shuts her eyes, pretending she's still asleep.

ellie lets out a mumbled 'morning' sounding groan and nestles her face into the pillow. she feels dina get up from bed and head into the bathroom to begin her morning routine, leaving ellie alone, wishing she had you wrapped up in her arms instead.

-

two days had gone by and you barely talked to ellie, sharing nothing but longing glances and brushes of fingers when you handed her a plate during meal times.

you didn't purposely intend to avoid ellie, but your mother had filled your agenda with errands for your 19th birthday party this weekend. you had to go talk to the caterers, talk to the florist, get fitted for a dress, buy new shoes, send out invitations— it was all so tedious and tiring, but you didn't want to make your mother upset by disappointing her.

the contractors were currently setting up the house with decorations and such for the party, and ellie was outside in the backyard with father, helping the rest of the workers set up a stage and other things needed.

you hated hot days, especially ones like these, where the air was scorching and dry. but you couldn't complain today, ellie was in a tight, white tank top showing off her muscular biceps and arms. you couldn't help but stare a little longer, trailing your eyes over the beads of sweat that would roll down her neck.

thank god for hot days like this one.

"honey, will you please do me a favor and bring out this tray of refreshments to everyone outside please?" your mother handed you a tray of cold drinks and fresh fruit.

"of course," you smooth out your sundress and take the tray from her hands, walking out of the kitchen and through the open doors leading to the backyard patio.

you walk over toward where they were working and set down the tray, "here are some cold drinks everyone."

your father and the workers mutter a quick thank you and take the offerings, sipping on the chilled drinks and talking amongst themselves.

however, what ellie needed wasn't a cold refreshment or a fruity snack. in fact, the only thing she could think of that would help ellie in this heat right now was you.

she couldn't tear her eyes away from the way your tits looked, the way the fabric hugged the soft, pillowy flesh. she definitely couldn't look away when you walked back towards the house, only wishing she can run her hands over the smooth skin of your thighs, grabbing on your ass.

the way you made ellie sweat was incomparable to the sun's radiating heat.

"excuse me, i'm gonna use the bathroom," ellie muttered, making her way back inside the house.

as you neared the kitchen, you overhear your mother's conversation with dina.

"yeah, we'll be leaving a little early. i have stuff to do back on campus," dina's voice remarks.

"oh, that's too bad. i really like having you both here," your mother pouts, "when are you and ellie leaving?"

"the day after the party," dina replies, "it'll give us time to rest and pack up."

your heart sank in your chest. ellie was leaving? and so soon?

you ran back inside the house, jogging up the stairs, not wanting dina or your mother to see the tears watering in your eyes.

"sweetie? you okay?" your mother yells out from the kitchen.

"uh, yeah! just need to get something from my room!"

you make a bee-line to the bathroom and shut the door behind you, looking at your reflection in the mirror, and letting yourself break down in tears.

something like this was bound to happen. you knew ellie wouldn't stay here forever, and you would be leaving for college. but why did this hurt so bad?

you hear the bathroom door open, and you quickly wipe your eyes.

"e-ellie?"

the brunette was surprised to see you in the bathroom at first, knowing you did have a habit of leaving the door unlocked sometimes, but that all went away and concern washed over her as she noticed your tear-filled eyes and red, stuffy nose.

"hey, hey, hey," she whispers as she takes a few steps toward you, "what's wrong?"

you blink a couple times, a tear falling down your cheek. you hesitated to answer her question.

"you know you can tell me anything, right?" ellie coos, her hands soothingly rubbing up and down your arms.

you nod, and bite your lip, thinking of how to word your response correctly, "d-dina said you both were leaving after my b-birthday."

ellie softens and an evident look of disappointment appears on her face, "yeah, we are."

you wipe your nose, looking up at her with glossy eyes, "it feels like you just got here and— and—" you sniffle, "you're leaving already."

ellie's heart soars understanding that you were upset because she was leaving. "i know and i'm sorry," she snakes her arms around your waist, pulling you close to her, "i wish i met you sooner."

ellie wished she met you first, she would actually have a chance at giving you both a shot without the guilt of betraying dina.

you bury your face into her shirt, the scent of her perfume wafting in your nostrils. god, there was just so much to do and so little time.

you pull your head back to get a good look at her face, to memorize her features, and sear them into your brain.

your eyes fell to her lips, and before you could even form a single thought, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against hers.

ellie instinctively pulled you closer by your waist, kissing back, moving her lips slowly with yours.

you slowly try to pull away from her lips, but she brings you back in for more, her grip on your waist never releasing.

"ellie," you breathe out, but it comes out sounding more like a moan, "w-we can't," you whine, "d-dina's here."

fuck. she stops, and pulls away from your lips, leaning her forehead against yours for a brief moment.

ellie plants a small kiss on your forehead, before letting you go and exiting the bathroom, leaving you alone once again.

-

"happy birthday, dear," the lady greets, leaning to give you a kiss on your cheekbone, "19 is such a fun age, don't take advantage of it, alright, hun?"

"sure," you hum, smiling back as the lady retreats back to the party, getting lost in the sea of people.

you had no idea who she was. actually, you didn't know a lot of the people here. a bunch of them were your father's associates from the law firm, some of your mom's book club members, and dina's friends from high school.

it was your birthday party, but your parents never turned down the idea of hosting a celebration if it was an excuse to mingle and network.

you head upstairs toward the balcony and step outside to the cool, summer night, leaning against the railing. you took a deep breath in, briefly closing your eyes in an attempt to gather your thoughts and clear your head.

"not enjoying the party?"

the sound of the voice causes you to spin in your spot, and you're met with ellie standing at the doorway. she was dressed in a white, collared dress shirt that was slightly unbuttoned at the top, with black slacks. her hair was down, in her signature mullet. you could tell she'd been drinking, as her eyes appeared dazed and she seemed more relaxed.

"uh— it was getting hot and stuffy in there," you tore your eyes away from her, "i just needed some air."

ellie sauntered over, standing next to you and placing her arms against the rail. her eyes raked over your body, drinking in how absolutely gorgeous you looked in your dress.

"you look beautiful tonight."

heat rose to your cheeks, and luckily the blush you wore today camouflaged the deepening crimson fading on your cheeks, "thanks."

"you always look beautiful, but you know, it's your birthday tonight and i had to remind you."

it was possible that ellie's words just fell from her lips because she was slightly inebriated, but it was true. ellie thought you were the most beautiful thing this earth could offer. you were the closest thing to heaven on earth.

but ellie couldn't have you, and without you, she was in her own personal hell.

you cleared your throat, attempting to wave off the tension in the air, "are you enjoying the party?"

she shrugged, "yeah, it's okay. i mean— dina's been introducing me to all your dad's friends and shit, trying to show me off like some kind of fuckin' trophy or something." she lets out a harsh laugh, "have you met my girlfriend ellie? she's a computer science engineer at yale! she's already done work for google and apple! isn't that so cool?"

ellie mocks dina's voice, and you can tell she has this slight bitterness to her. but you couldn't blame her for how she felt, dina only cared about the superficial things.

"oh...i'm sorry," you turn your head to face the view, "she's always been like that. trying to compete with everyone else and prove that she's better."

"yeah, i fucking hate that."

silence falls between you two again, and the elephant in the room couldn't be more obvious. it's been two days since the kiss in the bathroom occurred, and neither of you had even acknowledged it since then.

ellie would occasionally find herself thinking about the way your lips molded onto hers, and how she'd risk her relationship with dina just to experience it one more time. hell, she'd break up with dina.

it was hard for you to think about ellie without having the guilt bubble in your belly. you couldn't get ellie out of your head at all, and frequently spent those late nights fantasizing what it'd be like to be in dina's position, as ellie's girlfriend.

but, those feelings of shame always came to the surface and you tried to suppress them, pushing them into the dark corners of your mind, but as the day's progressed, it got harder and harder to do.

even being next to ellie made your body feel like it was on fire, and the urge to kiss her again was coming full throttle. you had to leave before you did something you both would regret.

"umm, i'll see you down there," you quickly sputter out before turning your heel to leave, but you felt ellie's hand grip your arm, stopping you.

"wait."

you force yourself to look at ellie, and your eyes connect with hers. your heart rate picked up, and suddenly the oxygen left your lungs. it was insane how one person could make you feel like this— like you could die if you were to let go.

"i—" ellie was about to let her heart speak for herself, and she was going to tell you everything. she was going to put her heart on the line and risk everything, for you."

"ellie! elllieee! where are yo— oh! there you are!" dina appeared at the doorway, a wide smile on her face as she finally found ellie. "where were you? i have to introduce you to this guy who works for this video game company! come on!"

before ellie can say anything, dina grabs her arm and drags ellie away.

the party happened and ended. you blew out your candles and cut the cake, and soon enough all the people left by midnight. dina was fast asleep on the couch in the living room downstairs, as the expensive, bubbly champagne had officially defeated your older sister.

your parents were asleep. dina was asleep. the only two people awake in the house was you and ellie, a deadly combination.

ellie was in the next room, intoxicated, and thinking about what her next moves were. she was leaving tomorrow and she knew that soon enough that you would be leaving for los angeles too, for college.

the thought of you possibly meeting someone new during college made her skin burn. ellie wanted to be that person for you, to be the one who made you laugh, to be the one who you called at the end of the day to tell her all about what happened in class, to be the one who gave you butterflies and made your heart flip.

fuck it, ellie thought, and the next thing she knew she was walking to your room and knocking on your door.

you swung the door open, and ellie swore she could've died and gone right to heaven. you were still in your birthday dress, but your hair was down, and you just looked like the most beautiful thing she'd seen in a long time. it was impossible that you were a real person.

"....ellie?" you spoke softly, and the sound of your voice knocked her out of her thoughts.

"huh? yeah— uh— fuck. sorry," ellie stammered, "can— can i come in?"

"sure."

you could smell the mixture of whiskey and her sandalwood perfume radiating off her body, and it was an addicting combination. you just wanted to bury your face in her neck and sniff her, as creepy as that did sound.

you sit down on the edge of your bed, crossing your legs, and ellie leans against your wall, with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her black slacks. she was still in her outfit, but the top of the buttons of her shirt were opened much wider, revealing a bit of skin.

silence falls in the room, and there was tension in the room. the room was beginning to feel humid and hot, and a small bead of sweat rolled down your temple.

ellie's eyes raked over you in your little dress, and how the dress bunches up just enough for her to get a peek of the sweet skin of your inner thighs, a paradise she's been dreaming of.

she wasn't sure if it was the little bit of alcohol still left in her system, but she could feel that familiar heat bubble in her core, making her feel even hotter.

"so, i was thinking, and i realized that i didn't say 'happy birthday' to you," ellie spoke softly, "i didn't even get you a gift."

your eyes widen, and you let out a small laugh, "it's fine, don't worry about it."

"nah, you've been so good to me, and— i mean— the least i could do is buy you something or take you out for dinner when me and dina come back for winter break."

your smile falters. when me and dina come back. the words echo throughout your head. me and dina. come back.

shaking your head, you try your best to respond without choking up, "i-it's okay..."

"what? don't be ridiculous-"

you cut her off, "it's f-fine, ellie," you breathe out, "i'm gonna head to bed now."

a pang hits ellie in the chest, and a look of hurt washes over her. "w-what? but i-"

you couldn't contain the jealousy that simmered in your belly, and it was partly due to the specialty cocktails you had tonight. you just had to have a midori sour.

"you and dina have to leave early tomorrow," you spat, with venom dripping off every word. it was enough to be noticed by ellie, and she received your message.

ellie doesn't say anything and her mind whirls in search of the words she wants to say.

after a few seemingly long minutes, she speaks up, "i think i'm gonna break up with dina."

your head snaps in her direction, your expression in utter disbelief, "what?"

ellie nods, "yeah."

"but, why?" you ask, "dina loves you and my family loves you—"

"dina is not who i want to be with."

you freeze, and your heart skips a beat.

"who do you want to be with?" you had an idea of who, but you played dumb, eager to hear her say the words.

"you."

time stops, and suddenly, everything feels like it's frozen in time, and the only two things that were present were you and ellie. for a moment, you let yourself imagine how things would be if she did break up with dina and went with you instead. of course, you would be over the moon being ellie's girlfriend, but at what cost?

dina would surely hate you if she already didn't and she'd make your life a living hell. and your parents? your dad would think you were a bigger disappointment, especially for ruining his perfect daughter's relationship.

you and ellie would face ultimate backlash, and wouldn't be on the receiving end of support from those close to you.

it pained you to think about it, but you had to be realistic.

"ellie......" you whispered, your voice coming out slightly strained, "i don't think we could be together."

ellie shakes her head, "we can. i'll break up with dina and— and— we'll have a long distance relationship and we'll come back—"

"and we'll be here? together? in front of dina and my parents?" you cut her off, hurt evident in your voice.

her demeanor faltered, and she was quiet for a moment. ellie understood your point of view, and how it'd be difficult to continue a relationship with her ex-girlfriend's sister.

"just stay with her."

ellie sighed, "no, even if we can't be together, there's no way i'm going to stay with her. no fucking way."

"but—"

"no. i don't want to be with her," ellie comes closer to where you were, causing you to stand on your feet and back up, "everyone is talking about how everyone else would feel. what about me? i can't fucking stand not being with you. you think i enjoy thinking about you while i lay with dina? do you even understand how hard it is for me to just look at you? do you know what you do to me?"

you feel the cool surface of the wall press on your skin as you were backed up against the wall. she had you cornered and you couldn't do anything about it, and a small part of you enjoyed this.

ellie's voice is low and raspy, "do you have any idea how much i think about you? having you as mine? thinking about the things i would do to you?"

you swallow hard, and you shake your head left to right, "ellie, you're just d-drunk."

she shakes her again, "i'm not. i'm one hundred percent sober."

"you're talking nonsense—" you try to convince her, but deep down inside, this was you trying to convince yourself.

"why can't you just face the fact that i want you?"

"because you're dating my sister!" the tone of your voice shocks the brunette.

"i can't— i can't have these feelings for you," you breathe out, "you're with dina."

ellie closes her eyes at the mention of her name, and again, silence fills the space.

"then let's forget about her, okay? for one night, i just want to forget about her," ellie whispers, "all i wanna focus on is you."

you search her face, and you bite your lip, actually contemplating the idea.

as you and ellie make eye contact, it was then you realize how close she was to you, you can nearly taste her lips if you leaned in further enough.

and in a swift move, ellie presses her lips against yours, pushing you against the wall. her hands cup your cheeks, kissing you with a sense of urgency and passion.

she takes control, and pushes her tongue in between your lips, roaming around in your mouth, eliciting a mewl from the back of your throat.

ellie's hands move to the back of your neck, and wrapped up in each other's lips, you both continue your way over to your bed, falling onto the mattress.

you pull away for a brief moment to flip her over, straddling her and sitting on her thighs.

ellie bunches your dress around your hips, fully exposing your thighs for her enjoyment. her cold hands send a shudder up your spine as they make their way to your thighs, "so fucking gorgeous."

ellie whispers, and she reconnects her lips against yours, and you couldn't help but grind your core against her, eager for friction as you feel a pool of wetness gather in your panties.

you let out a small whimper against her lips, and ellie grows more greedy, and slides her tongue inside your mouth again. the burning heat forming in your core begins to be harder to control, and you couldn't help but grind your pussy harder against her again.

the brunette smiles against your lips, and she takes hold of your hips, guiding you and placing you securely on her right thigh, "there, baby. grind that pretty fuckin' pussy on my thigh."

desperate for more, you place your arms around her neck for security and begin rubbing your panty-covered pussy against her pants, the fabric providing some friction on your swollen clit.

you couldn't suppress the soft whimpers that leave your lips, and ellie presses her lips against yours, drinking in every single moan that reverberates through your throat. she has you right where she wants you, wet and desperate for her.

"ellie.." your parted lips whine, "want more."

your pleas come out sounding as pathetic moans, and she smirks at the sight of you, eager for more.

"yeah? you want more, baby?" you nod frantically.

the brunette flips you over, takes you off her thigh and lays you on your back. using her knee to part your thighs, her fingers slowly trail down your inner thighs, and she uses her index finger to slide your panties to the side, sliding her finger down the wet slit of your pussy.

"shit," she curses, "so wet for me."

your hips buck up, craving more and more of her touch against your sensitive cunt, "ellie, please."

smirking, ellie pulls down your panties, the damp fabric pooling at your ankles, and she uses two fingers to spread your lips, the wet skin creating a slick-sounding echo throughout the room.

she uses one finger to rub your soaked, swollen clit, drenching her finger with your wetness.

"hmmph," you whimper, gripping her arm tight. ellie takes your lips in hers, muffling your pleading moans with her mouth as her fingers rub agonizing slow circles on your pussy.

she briefly pulls away from your lips, breathing heavily, "god, you're so beautiful when you moan."

ellie continues the circles against your clit, and you grab her wrist, stopping her, "e-ellie, please, i-i want more.."

the brunette pauses and thinks for a moment, "alright, baby, give me a second and wait here."

ellie places a kiss on your forehead, pulling her fingers out of you and quickly hurrying out of your bedroom. seconds later, you hear your door open and you see her come back in with a black strap and a harness.

"do you use that with—"

ellie cuts you off, "no. this one's new."

she takes off her shirt, and her black pants, leaving her in a plain black sports bra and plaid red boxers. she quickly hooks the harness around her hips and attaches the strap.

coming back on the bed, ellie looks at you with soft eyes, "is this okay with you?"

you nod, "yes, it's perfect."

she smiles, and she leans in to kiss you again, this time the kiss being much gentler than the previous one before. her hands make their way down your hips, and taking the hem of your dress in her hands, she slips it off of you.

pulling away, she takes the chance to gaze at your body. there was nothing but absolute adoration in those pools of green.

"you're beautiful, have i told you that?"

"only a couple times," you reply shyly, and ellie smiles, kissing your cheek.

her hands gently part your thighs, and she lines her cock up at your entrance. "we'll start off slow, yeah? you let me know if anything hurts, and i'll stop, baby."

looking up at her with glossy eyes, you nod. ellie takes the base of her strap and slowly slides it inside of your pussy, slowly filling you up.

"oh my god." was all you could muster.

"fuck," ellie curses, "you're so fuckin' wet for me, sweet girl."

filling you up almost completely, she grabs your waist and begins thrusting her hips, the strap easily sliding in and out of your wet pussy.

your eyes roll to the back of your head and you grab onto her arm, your grip tightening around her limb with each striking thrust.

the sound of clapping skin and wet slick fill the room, along with a combination of your soft whimpers and ellie's groans.

"keep your eyes on me, babe, wanna see those pretty eyes as i fuck you," ellie groans out, tilting your chin to look up at her.

how can something so wrong feel so right? she had your legs spread apart, with her strap buried deep inside you as dina slept soundly just downstairs.

it was hard to feel guilty when she was hitting every sweet spot inside you.

ellie leaned her forehead against yours, her thrusts never losing rhythm as you coat the black silicone in your white, cream.

as her strap slides in and out of your pussy, that familiar knot begins to form in your belly, and you feel almost as if you're nearing the edge.

"god, ellie— i think i'm about to cum," you stammer out, feeling your pussy tighten around her cock. ellie's eyes never stray away from yours, wanting to make sure you kept your eyes on her.

"yeah? come on, pretty girl, cum on my cock," she coaxes you, and her words cause that feeling of euphoria to wash over you, as you tip over the edge and writhe beneath her.

"ellie," you cry out, "i-i l-love you, fuck." you whimper out, as your pussy clenches around her, the black plastic strap squelching as your juices drip all over it.

"i love you, baby," ellie groans out, as she does one last thrust inside you, falling over in exhaustion onto the bed.

moments later, ellie gets up and takes the strap off. she cleans you up with a clean, wet rag, and climbs into your bed, the both of you still without clothes.

she drapes the blanket over your bodies, and she pulls you close to her.

"you okay?" she asks.

"mhm, i'm more than okay," you hum.

a comfortable silence falls, and you speak up again.

"i just wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow," you whisper, a stray tear falling down your cheek.

ellie kisses the top of your forehead, and rubs your back soothingly, "me neither, baby."

and you and ellie both fall asleep in each other's arms, just for this one night.

-

you really didn't want to have to see dina and ellie off.

it was sad enough that the girl you were in love with was dating your sister, but for her to go to university almost halfway across the country was something close to heartbreak.

luckily, ellie woke up early and got ready and packed up her things before dina woke up. but unfortunately, you woke up alone.

and for the rest of the morning, you stayed cooped up in your bedroom, not wanting to endure the sorrow of seeing ellie leave.

but she had to.

from your upstairs window, you watched as your father and ellie both began loading up the car with suitcases and other bags.

you didn't even want to say goodbye to her, knowing that the minute you saw her face, you'd burst into tears.

so, you just decided you wouldn't say anything to her at all. it was easier that way and it made a cleaner cut.

you hear a knock on your door, and your mother's head peeks out in your bedroom.

"hey honey," she coos, "come downstairs and say goodbye to ellie and dina."

you sigh and turn your head away from the door, "no, thanks. they'll be good without me."

you hear your mother sigh, and she shuffles into your room, closing the door behind you and sitting next to you on the bed.

"don't you wanna say goodbye to your sister, before she leaves?"

you shrug, "dee will be fine without my goodbye."

and for a moment, your mother is silent.

"well," she begins, "don't you want to say goodbye to ellie?"

you were stumped and you didn't reply.

"after all those late night conversations and such, i think ellie would want you to say goodbye."

your eyes widen in surprise, and you turn to look at your mother. "hold on, you know about that?"

she scoffs, "i may be your mom, but i'm not stupid." she laughs, "i can see things from a mile away, and my motherly intuition is telling me that...you like ellie."

you sigh and tear your eyes away from your mother, feeling ashamed, "i know, and i'm a terrible sister for that."

your mom soothingly rubs your back, "no, that makes you human. you can't help who you get feelings for, hun."

she tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and smiles at you, "ellie is an amazing girl, and i'm glad she realizes how wonderful you are."

tears fill your eyes, and you completely break down. your mom looks at you with sympathy, her heart cracking seeing her daughter experience heartbreak, "i love her, mom."

you let out these muffled sobs, and your mom takes you in her arms, comforting you as you cry.

as soon as you come back, she wipes your tears, and takes hold of your hands, "listen to me, sweetie," she coos, "if you love her, let her go, and if she comes back, she was always yours. but if she doesn't, it was never meant to be."

you laugh a little bit, "ugh, mom, that was corny."

"it is, but it's also true," she says, "which is why i think you need to say goodbye to ellie. life will take you in two different paths, and you'll regret it if you don't say anything."

absorbing her words, you nod and wipe your face with the sleeve of your sweatshirt. you get up from your spot, and hurry outside, nearly sprinting to the driveway, seeing dina already in the passenger seat and ellie about to get in the driver's side.

"wait!" you call out, and ellie's head snaps in your direction, a wide smile curling on her face.

first, you jog over to dina, "bye, dee. have fun at yale and stay safe."

you kept your words short and sweet.

"thanks, kid. go crazy in LA, okay?"

smiling, you nod at her and make your way over to the driver's side of the car, where ellie was standing and waiting.

you stand in front of her and you take a deep breath, before wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling her in for a tight hug.

you take this opportunity to whisper in her ear, only for her to hear, "maybe in the off chance we see each other again, and things are right, we can give us a shot."

"you better stay true to your words, pretty girl, because i plan on seeing you again," you can hear the smile in her voice as her arms wrap around your waist.

before anyone notices the prolonged hug, you pull away from her and stand next to your mom and dad, where you all wave goodbye to them as they pull away and disappear into the road.

maybe in another life, in another time, in another dimension, you and ellie were together.

you would have this big house overlooking the hills, and you'd have this amazing studio with huge windows to paint whatever you wanted and ellie would have her own office, dealing with her own ordeals. you would have a dog running around with a grumpy cat trailing along with them. you and ellie would always end the day with dinner together, and by the end of the night, you would be curled up in her arms and life would be perfect.

but this wasn't another life. for now, you and ellie were just two souls who are merely passing by each other in this lifetime. from strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and strangers again.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

[coeurify]

perfect girl II | ellie williams.

tlou2 ellie williams x fem!reader. college modern au universe. part one here. part three here. not heavily proofread. 6.6k words

after the first time you hooked up, resident university dealer ellie williams cant keep away from you, despite your avoidance.

this has smut, 18+ only. mean!reader , mean!ellie. sort of dom/sub dynamics. name calling, lots of fighting. they fuck instead of talking through the tension. oral!ellie receiving, thigh riding!reader receiving. slight choking. just lots of filth.

It had been two weeks. Fourteen days to be exact. 3 parties had passed by that time. You went to none of them.

Two weeks after you walked out of that room from that frat party, tugging your skirt down and avoiding as many prying eyes as you could until you were out the door, a certain university drug dealer hot on your tail.

Fourteen days since you let Ellie leave you at the door of your sorority with nothing more than a thank you for getting you home. The cold walk back to campus had been enough to send you into avoidance mode. You slept alone that night, and dreamt of what happened. Over and over.

Three parties passed, and you avoided going to each one. One was a day after the incident, and you used the excuse of studying to hide out in your room with a sweatshirt that covered the marks on your neck. Mostly however it was so you didn’t have to meet her eyes.

The second and third party you avoided were last weekend’s. You got side eyes from certain sorority sisters when you denied going— this time under the guise of being sick. Really though, you were sick. Sick from the way that stupid green eyed girl would not leave your mind. Sick of revisiting how it felt to be putty in her fucking hands. How it felt to be so close to her, the sound of her fingers moving through your folds. It never left your mind.

It was ridiculous, you had told yourself that over and over. She wasn’t worth your time of day. Was not worthy of the space in your mind she occupied. But it didn’t help. You still found every waking moment consumed by her.

By the time of tonight's party, what would be the fourth you had bailed on.. only Dina popped her head in to ask you to go. Of course you refused, which now left you in the almost completely empty sorority house.

Maybe it made you a bad sorority member to do this, to avoid what was essentially your duty. But none of the girls wanted to deal with your ever growing attitude and sharp glares when it was brought up. So you were not poked and prodded for answers to your sudden refusal.

Currently laying on your bed, you rubbed a hand over your tired eyes. The blanket beneath you shifted as you turned, annoying you. You needed to find a distraction— something to keep your mind from wandering to wondering what a certain somebody might be doing at the party happening right now. You found yourself surveying your room in search of anything to clean to appease this.

The lights dangling across your walls lit the small area a warm golden, showcasing the neat and clean walls and dressers. You barely had anything hanging from your walls.. spare a few photos and a calendar labeled with pink pen marks. Not a single thing was out of place or messy. Just like your appearance, you pride yourself on an absolutely perfect living space. Books tucked into shelves by color. Clothes hung in your closet by type and size. Even your desk had no sign you were an overly stressed university student.

You raise yourself from the plush pillow on your bed, tying your hair into a neat ponytail as you stand. You get to work quickly. You rearrange the soft colored comforter to be even.. styling the pillows to appear untouched. It wasn’t like anyone would ever see it, but the perfection of it all gave you a sense of calm nothing else could.

Looking too long made you think of the dark blue blanket on that bed, on being fucked into the much stiffer mattress. God, the thought made shame boil up in your stomach. Unable to tell if that shame came from the act itself or the absolute zero contact that followed it. Not wanting to think about it, you move to the desk in your room, grabbing a folder to tuck it away.

The only noise is the wooden floorboard that creaks under your feet— otherwise completely silent. There aren't many times like this when you live in a house full of young adult women, so you welcome the silence happily.

However, it isn’t quiet for long. You can hear the telltale sound of the large wooden door up front slamming open. It springs a frown to your face as you quickly glance at the small alarm clock on your desk. It was only around Ten, no way were the girls home already.

The noise continues, footsteps much too noisy to be any of your friends stomping up the stairs and down the hallway. You pause as they get closer.

A million options race your mind at what may be happening. Dina coming home early after a fight with her boyfriend Jesse. Another member sneaking a boy into her room (which was heavily against the rules from your sorority leaders..). Maybe even an axe murderer. When they harshly knock at your door, you begin to lean toward the third option.

Not a single pocket of your mind however thought of what came next.

“Open your door.”

It’s loud and angry sounding, and very obviously Ellie’s voice.

The folder in your hand drops to the ground, and you scramble to pick it up as quietly as possible. You don’t answer at first, though you guess she could have heard the squeak that passed your lips when her fist slammed again on the door.

“I know you’re in that room. Your name is on the fucking door, just open it.”

The tone leaves little room for you to get out of the situation, so you instead quickly tug your sleep shorts down to cover more of your thighs and walk to the door. Taking a deep breath in to compose yourself, you shuffle slightly. You do your best to fall into that attitude you always had with her as your fingers graze the doorknob. But it’s a bit harder this time to play the stone cold bitch when all that annoyance had been replaced with a sickening sort of need that you tried desperately to ignore.

Still, you put a tight lipped frown on your face as you open the door. “What the fuck do you want Ellie?”

Ellie looks at you, still wearing her jacket and backpack she brought to parties to sell her weed. She looked good, even dressed as messily as this. The backpack clued you into the fact she may have left the party, but you can’t fathom why.

Her cheeks are a shade of red that you hadn’t ever seen before. Her lip is bitten raw— which makes you queasy if you think about it too long. Her hair is tugged into that style that you so desperately hate again. It’s the first time in weeks you had seen her face, and it all makes you so dizzy.

“What the fuck do I want? That's how you wanna greet me after this shit?” Ellie scoffed, pulling you out of your mind. “Let me in your room.”

You shake your head, crossing your arms and standing directly in front of the gap in the door.

“Let me in the room or I swear to fucking god I will scream so loud everyone on the block will know i’m here.”

The childish comment makes you roll your eyes, comforting yourself in the familiar fire it brings about. You settle into it easily, like a blanket over frozen skin. It's much easier than whatever your emotion surrounding her has been lately. You can work with this. You can keep her away with this.

“Fine, but you can’t have that in my room, it smells like weed.” You motion your head to her bag, still vehemently against that awful smell that you had grown accustomed to smelling on her the past months.

Ellie was not exactly in the mood to take orders from you, as the weeks of anger from your ghosting was now spilling over like boiling water in a pot. Ever since that night she had been tightly wound up. Your missing appearances at the parties only made it worse.

But still she shrugged the backpack off of her shoulders, harshly shoving it to the ground outside your door and stepping in as you tried to protest the sorority girls seeing it.

She didn’t listen to any of your words, slamming the door shut behind you two, taking in your room with a quick glance. “Tell me why you’re avoiding the parties.”

Having Ellie in your space made you itchy all over— you picked at the skin of your nails to calm yourself. You eyed the way she stepped, watched her look around at your belongings. Of course you didn’t answer her question . “Can you avoid the rug if you aren’t gonna take off your shoes? It’s white.”

Ellie looked at you straight in the eyes as she raised her foot and stepped onto the carpet. You bit the inside of your cheek.

“Answer my fucking question.”

“Get off my fucking carpet,” you retort, crossing your arms over your chest again. You were both being childish now, a trait that only seemed to come out of you around her.

Ellie again went directly against what you asked. Instead stepping over your carpet again to make her way toward your neatly tucked in bed. She looked at the colors there, gentle pastels and whites. It doesn’t surprise her. Just as soft as you. But that also isn’t what she's here to focus on.

“Answer me,” she asks again, this time just a tad softer.

You refuse to meet her eyes— instead moving to finally put your folder back in its place on your shelf. You stay silent as your mind works through what to say next.

“Are those fucking color coded?”

You shoot a glare at Ellie, but it doesn’t work on her. It never really has. She doesn’t look away like any other college kid would around you. She just looks straight back.

“I’m sick Ellie, that's why I haven’t been to parties. I also happen to actually care about my grades and studying unlike you.”

The jab falls from you too easily. You almost feel bad for it, but Ellie doesn’t seem phased. She looks at the pictures near your bed, and then back to you. Standing directly across from you now, she takes another moment to answer.

“That’s bullshit and you and I both know it.”

Shrugging, you turn back to your desk. “Don't know what you mean. I have no reason to lie.”

You can hear Ellie make a noise behind you, and you just know she’s shaking her head in that disbelieving way.

“No reason, really Y/N?” Her voice is near now— almost like she’s stepping closer. You breathe in sharply and try to busy yourself fixing pens on your desk. Her calling you by name almost shakes you as much as her being here in the first place. No nicknames you claimed to hate.. just a harsh tone.

You can’t answer, shaking your head. You just need a moment to collect yourself, to find something inside that can make you strong enough to face her and tell her to get the fuck out.

You are not given that chance, a wandering hand moving to the hem of your tanktop to stop you from moving. It makes the top feel much too revealing now, goosebumps popping up on your arms immediately. The hand moved to turn you around. You go without a fight. But your palms grip the wood of the desk behind you when you are met with Ellie’s close by frame. It feels too reminiscent of you pressed against the edge of that bed in the frat house. You focus your eyes behind her to at least find solace in not having to meet her gaze.

“Nothing of importance happened at the last party you went to?” She pried, “Nothing to make you nervous to go to the next?”

“Nope.”

Ellie seemed to absolutely hate that answer, rolling her eyes and letting her hand fall from its place on your skin.

“Still a bitch I see. You leave me on your doorstep after I fuck you, and then completely avoid me for weeks? Now you have the damn nerve to act like none of it happened?”

The way she says the words makes you want to fall in on yourself. Ellie sounds angry still, undoubtedly. But there’s something else there.. something that sounds like hurt.

“It was just a hookup, Ellie. You have no right to show up here. You said I needed to get laid, so I got laid. Didn’t think it was mind blowing enough to warrant a response like this.” You motion to her.

The words are said in an even tone— desperately trying to cling to any semblance of nonchalantness. But it's mean, you know that. To act like it meant little more than if you had jumped the bones of one of those frat boys who clawed after you. It was harsh to act like that hadn’t been the best fucking sex of your life. But mean and harsh was what you were best at when it came to Ellie.

The sentence didn’t have the intended effect on Ellie though, who knew your tricks too well to actually feel wounded. No, it just made her more fucking frustrated with you. On how you could try and deny how much of a mess she had made you. There was no way you had forgotten, she sure as hell hadn't. “Right. Not mind blowing enough but it made you run scared from any party I may be at.”

“You think too highly of yourself Ellie. It hasn’t crossed my mind once.” It’s obviously a lie as soon as you say it. The way your voice wavers enough for Ellie to pick up on leaves no room to deny it.

She watches you, jaw tensing. Her eyes shift around and you can tell she’s mulling over her next decision.

When she finally speaks, it's in an annoyingly high pitched tone. “Oh Ellie please touch me,” she begins taunting.

You shove her away quickly, a fast flame rising in your stomach. You know exactly what she’s doing. How could you forget those words?

She doesn’t stop, placing a hand on her chest as she continues to speak. “No one else ellie,” she pulls out a faux moan that makes you want to slam your head into the desk. “Wanna make you feel good, el..” she continues to recount your own words back at you in a whiny tone.

It works, the mocking she’s doing. Shame bubbles up in you and pulls at each nerve on your body. You feel hot all over, stomach churning and feet pressing heavily into the floor under you.

“Shut the fuck up,” you demand, slapping her arm as you puff little angry breaths out. Her posture is less tight now, the embarrassing joke seeming to calm her. Of course it did.

Ellie doesn’t stop, the sting of the slap only drawing her close to you again. A smile dawns on her freckled face as she continues her teasing. The quick switch from steadily angry and serious to this.. it throws you for a loop.

“Had you fucking crying for me, princess. Now you wanna act like it was some subpar hookup?”

Your mind tries to straighten out your thoughts, pick through your brain to find a worthy retaliation. But there is none. She had you snared tightly in this trap. You had no fucking way out. No snarky remark could free you from the powerless feeling currently falling over you. Your heart pulses under your tight chest and you can only manage a scoff in response.

It amuses Ellie enough to draw a laugh from her. One completely at your expense. “What? Can’t deny it?”

When you resort to silence and a mean look, Ellie smiles widely. “Don’t even need you to say it, I got the answer I was looking for. Its driving you fucking crazy that you liked it so much? Right? Can’t stop thinking about it?” Her feet drag closer, finger moving to grace over the goosebumps on your arm. “Avoid coming to parties ‘cause you know I’ll be there right baby?”

The way she coo’s the pet name makes you want to wobble. But you refuse to give in.

“Too scared you’d want me again? That it wouldn’t even take you ten minutes to be begging at my feet to steal you off to a bedroom?”

You try to turn your chin away and avoid her seeing your blush, but she grabs your face so you have to look at her.

“You know how easy it was to make you all pathetic, princess? You knew it wouldn’t be hard to get you all whiny like that again, Didn’t you?”

You shake your head to deny it, but the way you tremble under her touch gives it away.

“I should leave you here, you know? Get you all worked up then walk off. Just like you did to me.”

Something blossoms in you to hear her admit you got her worked up. That you had affected her even a fraction as much as she had to you. You swallow it down like nails in your throat, gulping.

She pauses her constant stream of taunts to look down at your shirt and shorts. So pretty and expensive. So you. Now it was her turn to shift uncomfortably.

“If you don’t want this, tell me to stop.” She’s speaking lowly— cutting off her words before they can seem desperate. She wants this just as badly as you try to deny you do, and you know that. You know you have a moment to decide your next course of action. To scream at her to get off you, to kick her to the curb and protect yourself from the mess sure to follow whatever would happen. You knew there was no going back if you did this again.

You don’t. You don’t say a single fucking thing. And that’s plenty of an answer for Ellie. She moves quickly to remove the hand from your chin— instead moving it to your shoulder. “Get on your knees.”

The demand finally gets words out of you, eyebrows furrowing. “Huh?”

“Get on your knees.” she repeats. Ellie’s tone is harsh again, back to whatever space she seems to enter around you. She pushes you a bit— showing exactly what she wants you to do.

It doesn’t take much of a shove to fall to the hard wood of the floor. She didn’t even move you to the carpet. Fucking dick.

You try to bite back the overwhelming shame it gives you to look up under your lashes at Ellie. She watches you, waiting for you to adjust as she walks around you to lean against the desk.

“You remember what you said before I took you home? That you wanted to make me feel good?” Ellie hums, tilting her head down at you.

“Stop bringing that up,” you grit.

“You aren’t exactly in the position to be making demands, princess.” She brings her foot forward to tap your knees gently.. reminding you of the fact you are quite literally beneath her.

“You owe me, got me so fucking worked up y’know?” Her hand moves down to work on the button of her old jeans. The realization of what was coming shakes you, heart jumping into your throat.

You don’t answer, instead watching as she motions to you. “C'mere baby, take my pants off for me.”

It feels demeaning, the way you crawl forward slightly to be directly at her feet. Staring at her, you make a small groan, hoping she may spare the embarrassment.

It was embarrassing nonetheless, even more so when she shook her head and again motioned for you to move. It made you sick how easily you had fallen to your knees. Figuratively and literally. How quickly she had coaxed submission out of your usually stubborn demeanor was almost pathetic. You do it anyway, manicured fingers raising to the denim and pulling it down with a blush. You pull them from her legs and watch as she kicks them into a pile with her shoes. On top of your white carpet of course.

You look up at her again, watching as her expression changes at this sight. “So fuckin pretty on your knees for me baby.”

The praise makes you squirm— the warmth now radiating into your lower belly.

“Want you to make me feel better. Think I deserve that after you leave me high and dry hm?”

It’s true, even more so than you would like to admit. It was a total asshole move to ghost her after both of you implied there would be something more. Right now it isn’t a very serious dig— not when she knows what's coming.. but it still has you feeling desperate to make up for it.

It takes a lot to force the next words out of your throat, “Yea.” The one word feels like admitting you were wrong, that she had the power. So it's hard to say, still ruled by the embarrassment all of this situation brings.

She debates forcing you to say more, but you still seem to be only dipping into that pool of submission you had been in last time.. so she gives you a moment.

“Want you to let me fuck your face, can you do that for me?”

You want to stand up right then. You want to refuse to do something so degrading, you want to ignore the way the words make you feel. But you can’t. Not right now. Not for her.

However she won't get an answer out of you, just a nod of permission. The silence annoys her, hand moving to pull at your tied up hair in response despite promising herself a slow start. “Stop the silent act, answer me. Tell me you want this.”

You clench your jaw, not ready to give in. When she gives another tug to your hair, this one harsh enough to pull a yelp from you.. it makes you change your mind.

“Yes Els, I want this, I want to make you feel good.”

The words start off quietly, still finding your footing to avoid burning alive from embarrassment. But as you continue, as you watch the way she seems so pleased to hear it.. It becomes easier. It's more natural when you add in another, “please.”

How she had this pretty little stuck up sorority girl wrapped around her finger was enough to make her wet, but the way you stared up at her, mouth slightly agape upon seeing the black boxers she was wearing, god did it make it even better.

“Alright princess, open your mouth ‘n stick out your tongue for me,” Ellie requests, pulling her boxers off as you do so. It feels too wrong to steal any glance at her body.. despite how you wanted to. It was more than you had ever seen, as she was completely dressed when she had gotten you in a position like this before. Surprisingly having been the put together one in that situation.. and you had an inkling it would end similarly today.

But you can't help it, eyes following her movement as you come eye to eye with her glistening centre. If you had been more mouthy still- you would have made a comment about how wet she was. But the sight renders you speechless. Licking your lips as you squeeze your own thighs together. “Ready?” she asks— tone too even, mouth too harshly pulled into a straight line. The auburn haired girl is trying far too hard to act unaffected by you under her.

Her tattooed hand grips your hair even tighter, a burning sensation pulsing through your scalp as she pulls you closer. You welcome the pain and the dizzying sort of calm it lulls you into. Nodding, you open your mouth again to please her.

Another second passes and then she’s pressing down into you, your nose bumping her throbbing clit. It again makes another pulse of confidence run through you at the undeniable sign she needed this. Needed you.

You make quick work of kitten licking over her slit, happily drinking down the wetness there. You hear small grunts above you, and know you’re doing the right thing as you press your face further in to collect more of her taste on your tongue. You don’t care that your knees already hurt, or about the pain in your neck from leaning it back this much. Ellie certainly didn’t either as she began rocking against your lips. She trembles over you as your nose bumps into her clit again.

“Fuck, shoulda done this earlier. So much better with your mouth like this. No bitchy comments to make, hm?” Ellie says into the air, trying to hold back noises. Your eyes catch as she tilts her head back and speeds up her pace though. You flatten your tongue against her, letting her take control now.

“Shit,” she grunts again, face screwing up as she pulls your hair back and forth to move with her. Your comfortability goes completely out of the window when her stomach starts to tighten. Ellie is moving harshly against you, not caring that she's spreading her wetness all across your chin and mouth— not stopping when you start to gasp for air.

Your nails move to grip into her thigh, leaving little crescent moon shapes there. It doesn’t slow her down, more continuous grunts falling from her bitten lips. Desperate to hear more of the sounds you suck up the suffocating feeling. If you were to die here, it would be fucking happily. You continued to try your best to lap at her even with the rapid movements.

Her hips stutter, finally pushing a full moan out of her. It’s music to your ears, ringing through your mind. “Jesus, baby,” she continues, pausing on her words for another moan. You hear a slight whine there, one that makes you go unsteady. “Just like that princess, gonna come in your mouth. Fuck, I cant believe i got you like this.”

The blunt and dirty words make you whine against her, begging with more scratches down her thighs for it. for her.

Seeing you worked up over just giving her pleasure, it sends that final shockwave through her and her hips completely stop. She pulls on your hair with her fist enough for you to cry out as she works herself through the orgasm. She rocks her hips slowly for a few seconds after that, watching on as you try desperately to collect all that you can from her slit. It almost makes her come again to see it. To see how obsessed you are with her. How you searched for more

When she pulls you back by your ponytail, your chin is shiny with her. You want to complain, want to press forward and make her come again. But you can't make any words, not when she breathes out to steady her chest. Not when her hands shake as they let your hair go, moving to pull up her boxers. It tilts your universe completely off axis to see her so close to crumbling, so Un-Ellie like. You wonder if this is how she feels when you fall apart for her. You don't have long to pause on this thought before Ellie is forcing you up onto your feet, laughing when you stumble like a newborn deer.

“Ya look so messy,” she compliments, wiping a hand to clean your chin. Her green eyes meet your glistening lips, and watches as you suck the bottom one between your teeth. It drives her crazy, something telling her she may be addicted to making you fall into a state like this. Just like she had in that frat party.

“Should I leave you like this? Go have a smoke and let you get off on your own?” Ellie questions, moreso to herself. She really should, as a lesson for you. To get back at you for the last time. But god, the way you look at her, completely ready to listen.. How can she resist?

“Fuck you,” you bite— only making her smile more. There you were, even under all that cloudiness Ellie brought over you.. your attitude was still there.

“You just did, pretty,” her finger rubs over your splotchy cheek, no doubt a result from the air you were not getting when your face was pressed between her thighs.

“Ellie..” you mumble, beginning to actually worry she would leave. She had every right to. But the wetness you feel in your panties, the burn between your thighs.. it's making you ready to get on your knees again to beg.

She sighs, walking across your floor until she hits your bed, tumbling back on it. “Hm?”

“Im-” you puff air into your cheeks for a long breath, following her like a lost puppy. It brings that addicting feeling of power back into Ellie’s body, and she lounges herself comfortably on your comforter. “You're what.. tell me..” she tilts her head.

“Ellie cmon,” you can't help the whine to your voice. “I need you.” You mumble as you crawl onto your bed and on top of her. The sight amuses Ellie, who watches you with little interest.

“Dunno, I'm pretty tired,” Ellie shrugs, stretching out and leaning against your pillows. You fight the urge to tell her off for it, much more focused on getting rid of the ache between your legs. you pout, unable to stop it. “El..” you are full out whining now— only further egged on into your desperation when she lets you move to straddle her waiting lap. You want to start moving immediately, but something deeper in you tells you to stay put until Ellie gives you anything.

“I could really go for a joint right now, honestly..” she trails off, meeting your gaze. “Fuck off,” you cant help but say— clawing at your own shirt. You pull it off, tossing it messily onto your floor. It makes your stomach twist for a split second, not taking it to the hamper. But that wasn’t exactly top priority. When the air hits your nipples they hardern immediately, drawing Ellie’s attention.

The green eyed girl’s jaw clicks at your insult, and at how you had shoved your shirt off before she could. She was getting there, really. But you were too impatient, like always.

“I'm not getting you off,” she finally decides, clearly speaking. But she still reaches forward to run a thumb over your peaked nipple, making you involuntarily buck into her. The feeling of your center finding friction on her lap pulls a small sound from you. Ellie hums at how responsive you are, “But you can.”

You aren’t quite sure what she means, but hands quickly come to shift you onto only one of her thighs.. and you quickly understand. “You wanna get off baby? Ride my thigh. Get off all on your own.”

Ellie yawns like she couldn’t care less, leaning back and watching you, fingers rubbing circles on your hips.

“You’re such a fucking dick,” you whine, unhappy you were not getting your own way. Ellie shrugs again, and you want to wipe the pleased look off of her freckled cheeks. She gives you a head start by dipping her fingers into the elastic of your shorts. “Yea.. im an asshole, im a gross drug dealer, you're so much better than me..” she chastises, watching you lift your hips as she pulls the silky shorts and lace panties down your legs. You let it happen all too easily. “But who’s the one pulling off her pretty little pajamas to get off on my thigh?” she questions.

You can't deny that, definitely not as Ellie stimulates the first rock of your hips down against her mostly bare thigh. The feeling washes over you, eyes rolling back. Any grip you still had over yourself and your control is drowned out by the feeling. It’s embarrassing to admit how wet you are, how wet eating her out had made you. Of course she comments on it, always looking to shame you.

“Fuck, can feel you dripping on me princess— always so wet for me, hm? So much for not mind blowing huh?” She asks, letting her hands still so you can continue the movements on your own.

“El..” you gasp, blinking quickly as one hand rests on her shoulder, getting a better angle to let your hips move against her— whimpering at the wet pressure of yourself against her.

Her eyes catch your own, before dropping to where you are rutting down on her thigh. At first you aren’t sure it will be enough— your sore knees now accompanied by burning muscles. But you know this is your only option. It sure does help when she leans forward though, no longer fighting against her want to press lips against your neck.

The marks from last time were now almost completely gone, much to her dislike. This could have been completely avoided if you hadn’t been such a fucking bitch. If you had just gone to the parties and let her leave you with a fresh set of bruises each time.

“Fuck,” you huff when she bites at your skin meanly. Your movements falter from the rush of pain it brings. “Gonna let me mark you up, aren’t you baby? Make sure everyone knows your mine?”

The word mine sends you for a loop, and you pause slightly on it. Too desperate to get off, you don't comment on it. But it makes your stomach do flips, inable to tell if they are good or bad.

The threat is not an option for you, that was clear enough when she doesn't let up the harsh sucks and teeth marks on your throat. “If you fucking cover these up I will do it over and over again,” Ellie threatens, only making you whine louder. Your arm wraps around her back, pulling her even closer into the crook of your neck. She presses comforting kisses there to soothe the burning pain from all the bites.

“Won't,” you promise quickly, grinding even quicker down into her. Neither of you can be sure if you are just saying it in the heat of the moment.. but it affects you both all the same.

What you ask next is a shock to both of you. “Kiss me, El please kiss me,” you beg. Her face pokes out from your neck, questioning your words only for a second. She doesn’t ask before pressing her lips into yours, kissing you for the first time tonight. You’re quick to respond, following her lead in the quickly deepening kiss.

She swallows every single noise you make, tongue swirling around your mouth when you moan into her. Your hips are moving erratically now, your moans getting even louder against the kiss. Ellie kisses you harder, a bruising and hot kiss— both of you gasping against it.

This is far more intimate than the first time you slept together, the way you refuse to pull back from your lips even as you feel your orgasm rising up and up. She doesn’t allow for any room either, eager to bite at your lip, to let her hand move to knead at your tit. The new sensation overhwlems you, a repeated “fuck fuck fuck,” pressing against the kiss as you are finally sent toppling over into an orgasm. Even as it hits you, even as your hips stutter, you don’t pull back from the kiss.

Not until Ellie does first, her hand moving back to your hip when you slow. She forces you hardly back down against you, and your ears ring. “S-stop,” you whine— suddenly far too overwhelmed. Ellie doesn’t listen, guiding your hips to continue grinding down, even in your over sensitive state. She wants to pull another orgasm out of you, and she states so when you try to pull away.

“Dont fucking move away from me,” she demands. “Want you to come on my thigh again. Know you can take it. Know you want it,” she continued, bordering on slurring out the words. The auburnette seems almost as dizzy from this as you are.

You can feel your eyes sting, pussy throbbing against her thigh as she forced you to keep moving, rising to your peak at a record pace. “I can’t,” you babble, shaking your head quickly.

“Of course you can baby, look at the mess you made on me already,” your eyes follow her directions immediately, finding her thigh sticky with your slick. “So messy, so fucking pathetic. Getting off on my thigh, pathetic enough to come again.”

Tears spring to your eyes, stomach clenching. “Fuck, Ellie— fuck,” you cry out, tilting your head back to gasp. With how loud you are, you better hope none of your sorority sisters will be home early. You have no idea how much time had passed since Ellie walked through your bedroom door, but it felt like a lifetime.

Ellie’s free hand trails up your chest, fingers dancing across your collarbone. You just looked so pretty with your already reddening neck.. she couldn’t help as her palm rested on your throat, fingers wrapping around it experimentally. The loud cry the slightest pressure coaxed out of you pushes Ellie to grip harder.

“Of course you like this,” Ellie scoffs, admiring the way your eyes squeeze shut and your mouth falls open to wheeze. “Jesus, you really are such a slut, crying for me to choke you? All fucked out for me?” Ellie bites— but it falls upon fuzzy ears, your senses all going haywire as you sob, unable to catch your breath. It just all feels so amazing. Her thigh, her hand, the way she spits the words at you. You're coming again before you can even say anything, throbbing against her thigh as you fall forward into her, her hand releasing your neck as you do.

Ellie coos against your ear as you tremble through your aftershocks, calling you every sweet name under the sun. “So good for me, my perfect girl, so perfect.”

You cry into her, hot tears against your own cheeks and her neck. You whine sharply when she lifts you off, leaning down to pull off her sweatshirt. It confused you, blurry eyes quickly wiped by her thumbs. “Lay down,” she commands, and you can only babble incoherent begs for her as she stands and searches around your room, sweating as she throws her sweatshirt into the growing pile of clothes.

It leaves her only in her boxers and sports bra , and you watch on in slight amazement as her abs flex as she bends around looking for something. First she tugs her backpack into your room before you can protest. Then she’s back to searching. When she finally finds something to clean her thigh off with, she brings it back to you, wiping you clean again.

Still deep in your sub space, you grasp at her, and she happily complies climbing into the bed, welcoming as you press against her, searching for skin to skin contact.

You aren’t sure what the morning will bring. Not sure how you will feel when you wake up pressed against the one girl you swore to hate at this whole school. But you don't really care. You listen to her slowly lowering heartbeat as exhaustion pulls you into its arms.

You fall asleep against Ellie, and it’s the best fucking rest you have had in fourteen days.

[keexshound]

last tlou post for a little bit but. i don't really read the fic part of the fandom often anymore, but since interacting with any the last of us post puts like five of you guys on my dashboard inevitability i have one request. (mostly towards abby and ellie) (heavy on ellie, you guys show up the most)

PLEASE start making your y/ns have some diversity, add uniqueness to your fics, im tired of getting cookie cutters!! i don't want petite, fem, shy lamb characters in almost every fic. give me someone like dina or something. ellie has canonically dated cat and was in love with Riley, both of which are pretty tomboy style. give me a tomboy y/n.

go farther than tomboy, i want to see those girls fall head over heels for a butch. not flannel and jeans like you some of you think butches are, i want a REAL butch. physical labor and hypermasculine butch.

add some diversity to the trans genre, all it is transgirl ellie/abby. not too much of a complaint, i love it, but i just wanna see some diversity in that. give me enby or transmasc ellie. better yet make y/n the trans one for once. or both of them. t4t would be great to finally see.

[poebot]

“Toxic” Ellabs / F!Reader Part 1 | Part 2

summary: Ellie, your on-again off-again girlfriend, can’t seem to leave you alone. Abby is tired of watching you get hurt.

tags/warnings: this is mostly sfw! mentions of alcohol, ellie gets a lil handsy but that’s about it lmao

a/n: i go feral for the idea of hot women fighting over me so take this. on a more civilised note lemme know if you wanna see this continued in a part 2! apologies for any spelling mistakes ^_^

Your relationship with Ellie wasn’t what most would describe as healthy. You shared a bad habit of repeatedly breaking up and getting together again, always weak to her grand gestures and ‘I miss you’ texts. It was an endless cycle that neither of you seemed interested in breaking, but you had promised Abby and Dina that this time, this was it. You were done with her. Done with the constant flirting with other girls, with the endless arguments over her jealously problems, with the mess she’d leave your apartment in. You were done with it all.

Tonight was supposed to exemplify that; a trip to the club with your closest friends to celebrate your newfound freedom. You had put on your skimpiest dress (10/10 from Dina. Abby offered an approving thumbs up with minimal eye contact.) and had styled your hair and makeup just the way you liked it. Tonight was about forgetting about Ellie. And maybe finding someone cute to smash faces with, also in an effort to forget Ellie.

After one too many shots, you found yourself abandoning the group to go dance. You tried to coax the girls to join you, but Dina insisted they’d stay put and keep an eye out for you. They watched from a distance as your hands caressed your body, your tight dress clinging to your curves just right.

“She’s going to be the death of me.” Abby groaned, turning to face the bar. Being hopelessly in love with one of your best friends sucked, but it sucked even worse when said best friend was pining after a girl who didn’t treat her right. Every time you’d call her crying about Ellie, she had to physically fight the urge to shake you. To tell you that she was right here and would never make you feel this way. She hated Ellie Williams with everything in her. Dina pouted, rubbing Abby’s arm reassuringly and pushed a glass of whiskey into her hands.

✧༺♡༻∞

Your eyes were closed tightly, enjoying the fuzzy feeling of being tipsy when you felt a pair of large hands snake their way around your waist. You didn’t even have to open them to know who was behind you. Her clothes smelled of cigarettes and the same musky cologne that she always wore on nights out, and she pressed her lips against your ear as you continued to sway.

“Hey, baby. You look good.” Her voice was raspy and quiet under the noise of the bustling club, but she was pressed so close that you could hear her every inhale and exhale. You turned to face her, your eyebrows furrowed. “I thought I told you to leave me the fuck alone.” Ellie chuckled at your attitude, seemingly unconvinced.

“You say that every other week. Cmon… I seriously can’t change your mind?” Her roaming hands continued to reach lower past your hips, moving dangerously close to the curve of your ass. The flesh dimpled in her hands and you heard her let out a sigh. You hummed, pushing against her chest weakly as you felt warm heat flood your stomach. It was increasingly hard to resist her, from the alcohol thrumming through your blood stream to the tender way her body pressed against yours. She smelled so fucking good, you missed her so fucking bad, and before the rational part of your brain could think you were pressing your face into her neck, senses thrilled at being surrounded by her familiar scent and touch.

“Thought so.” Ellie smiled, moving your face from the junction of her neck to hold your chin up to look at her. “God. You look fucking amazing.”

✧༺♡༻∞

“Uh oh… Ellie’s on the hunt.” Dina chuckles, taking a sip from her cranberry vodka. She had spotted the girl almost half an hour earlier, sitting in a corner nursing a beer while she scoped out the crowd. In an effort to not spoil the night, she chose not to mention it to her friends. Atleast that’s what she told herself, ignoring the nagging thought in her head that this should make for good entertainment. Maybe Abby would finally make a goddamn move.

“What are you talking about?” Abby turned to look in the direction she was facing, and in an instant her smile dropped from her face at the sight of you enveloped in Ellie’s arms, her hands around your waist as she hugged you from behind. you seemed to be in a hushed discussion and your expression looked annoyed, but you made no effort to escape her as she started to sway with you to the music, her hips flush with your ass.

“You owe me like twenty bucks. I told you it would be less than two weeks.” Dina watched Abby over the rim of her glass, her lips slightly upturned in amusement. The girl was completely fucking hopeless. Her crush on you couldn’t be more clear, but your head was too far in the clouds to even notice. She punched Abby lightly in the arm, making her flinch. “Ow..” She murmured under her breath, as though her biceps weren’t crafted from stone.

“Dude. Stare any harder and they might combust.” Abby ran a calloused hand through her long hair, a nervous habit she had picked up whenever it wasn’t braided back. You convinced her to wear it this way tonight, telling her how pretty she looks with it down. Fuck, this sucks.

Abby stole another glance at the couple just as Ellie’s eyes met hers, and she planted a chaste kiss against your throat, holding the tense eye contact. Like a threat.

Fuck it. That was her last straw.

She grabbed her half full glass of whiskey and downed it, turning to Dina, her eyes blazing. “I’m going over there. She’s drunk, can hardly think straight. Shits’ not right.”

“Hey.” Dina grabbed Abby by her collar, yanking her back before she could storm off. “Go do what you gotta do. But if you get us kicked out of here, I’m beating your ass.”

[ellabsweet]

[ੈ✩] 𝐅𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐓 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 • 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐒

synopsis: in which The Deadbeats band is a success, ellie as lead singer and guitarist, abby as a bassist, jesse on the drums and dina on the keyboard, despite their chaotic nature and eventual love affair with a certain groupie

pairing: rockstar!ellie x reader x rockstar!abby

warning: mentions of drug and alcohol abuse, very lightly based on the dynamics of daisy jones and the six, eventual nsfw content so minors and men do not interact, multiple part series

authors note: so im starting this little thing with a groupie!reader and very chaotic dynamic band au with rockstars!abby and ellie fighting for her affection, if you want to be tagged just let me know and i will add you to a taglist! enjoy babies

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄: 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐒

“Dina Woodward had a saying of her own lightly adapted from some childhood friend’s hip grandmother that went along the lines of: You either fuck it, or hop off the top. That was the mindset that led a group of young adults from a small town in Wyoming to ultimate stardom in rock circles all across the globe-” Ellie made sure to interrupt Jesse’s reading, clutching the newspaper off his hands and forcing it apart in even shreds.

“They made us sound like a fucking inspirational movie”

“I told you that’s what happens when you accept to be interviewed by these mainstream fascists Abby’s daddy can buy out”

“Well, Ellie, here’s a little tip then how about you stop snorting up all our gig cash and actually write some new fucking songs so we don’t have to depend on these interviews that are buying the fucking powder you can’t keep from shoving up your nose” Abby was angry as per usual, landing a soft blow over the table Ellie leaned over, scattering sprinkles of the white drug across the floor. Jesse prepared himself to get between them quickly, his own set of muscles basically newly acquired for these situations, a fiery Ellie and overtly stronger Abby was entertaining the first couple of times when bruised eyes could be hot accessories, but it’s frequency died down the style quickly.

“Fuck you and your moral superiority you only joined the band because you wanted to piss off your fancy rich parents and we only let you because we needed the investment”

“Els, shut the fuck up you know that she’s a good bassist” Dina sighed, looking around for the vacuum cleaner to avoid questions from her tennants later.

“And a better singer too” Abby smirked, her laugh echoing across the room as Ellie leaned in to punch her and was stopped by Jesse’s grip that she remained fighting incessantly.

She thought of Joel, her step father, wondered for a split second what he’d think of her in this situation and quickly shook the thought of her mind. It was irrelevant what Joel would’ve thought, because he was dead alongside anyone else she ever loved, like a plague. Cursed was the title track of their album and it explored the feeling of grief and anger better than anyone could’ve forced out of her in conversation. The other members went as far as thinking perhaps it meant something different, a change within. It never came. Ellie remained the same hot headed impulsive lyrical genius whose talent was wasted on her for always being too overly wasted herself.

“Can we please just get back to practice?” Jesse pleaded, his surprising patience wearing thin.

It didn’t matter, in the end. They were Ellie’s band. Abby was a bass goddess. Music saved Jesse’s life. Dina secretly thought it all to be amusing. They were incredible together, despite the drugs and screams and punches, breathtaking. The band would live on and so would the chaos. You either fuck it, or hop off the top.

taglist: @abbysvictim @lottiematthewsceo @sadeyedsugar @digit4lslut @r0ckgoblin comment to be added!

[satellitespinner]

WHAT WOULD DINAS WARDROBE LOOK LIKE?

Based on what we have seen from the games its safe to day that she really does enjoy a good blouse moment LMFAOOO.. shes such a mom i fear.. we also do see her in tanktops alot.

I think dina as of modern¡au would definitely be leaning towards a more comfy style?? but also definitely professional about it. alot of the dina stuff i see on here is lowkey out of character but its okay :3

so we see dina in jeans like 90% of the time so i think she would own a few pairs, but honestly modern¡au dina hates denim… that hoe LIVES in her pj pants😭 dont get her wrong, she loves a good jean moment, just not everyday.

honestly this might be controversial but i think she would either dress like business casual ORRRR like the clean girl baddie type vibe? (idek what im saying pics belowwww) cause she gotta keep it modest cause she got a kid yk

i just think overall she would be very put together looking. like wealthy milf vibes. also she dont fuck with none of that “baby nike tech” PUT THAT BOY IN SOME OVERALLS😭

(psa idk who these beautiful women are but hello ladies😘)

Modern¡au dina would probably have her ears pierced in a few places, and maybe her nose. but i dont think she would have any crazy face piercings like modern¡au ellie does.. (lmk if i should expand on that :p)

i think she would have some cute dainty earrings but she would also have like a daith or a conch ..

she would also probably have a few tats (under ellies influence..) i fear mother mightve fallen victim to the small little flower tattoos, but she would also have some meaningfull ones. she wouldnt have alot tho. nothing HUGE.

also i need to see her in a pair of pj pants oh my lawd ho i cant .. (she def has those grinch pants btw…)

a/n: this was so funnnnn!!! lmk if i should do others cause i will :333

[snowy-vee]

BSC: Back to School (1)

n/a: You all know the drill, enjoy and let me know <33

INDEX

It did not hit you that the summer was over until you were in your shared room and a T-shirt landed in your face. You throw it back to the owner, your best friend and the most fabulous person in the building, Dina.

“Are you not going to unpack? We have to get ready for the ‘Welcoming dinner’, hurry up, put your uniform on!” She was almost done with her suitcase, putting it under the bed once she did. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, she could see that as she approached her vanity with a brush, freeing her hair from the tie, her dark curls fell gracefully on her shoulder, she was focused on brushing them until her eyes looked at you in the mirror.

You were sat in your bed with a frown in your lips, you had such a nice summer and you wanted to extend it more, It’s not like you hated the school but homework, exams, activities you are obliged to do… that’s not something you like. The stare of Dina was too intense making you stand up and start undressing to put on the uniform which consisted in a dark brown skirt, a plain white shirt with a red, white and black tie and a light brown blazer with the pin of the school.

This year you had a glow-up, it’s not as if you were bad looking the other years, but this one? You were radiant not only because the uniform finally hug your body in a right way but because you caught Jesse watching you once you enter accompanied with Dina, that made you jump a little bit once you two were out of his sight, screaming on Dina’s ears. The cold bedroom made your enthusiasm go down and that’s when you sat on your bed and realized that you were at school.

“I can feel it in my bones, this year is my year” you said applying kiwi chapstick in your lips, doing the sound ‘pop’ twice “The way he looked at me? He’s obsessed”

Dina couldn’t help but laugh opening the door of the room “He soooooo is, now, let’s go dine, delulu”

“I’m not delusional!” you protested following behind her “Why are you walking so fast?”

You catch up to her her, linking you arm to her as you two laughed in the hallway, casually saying ‘hi’ to others girls that were heading to the dinning room. The school was enormous, so the girls and boys rooms where in different ends, each of the with the same installations such as common room, community showers, etc.

In the middle it was the dinning hall, the library, the music room, the principal and professor’s offices and more, there were three hallways that connected to the other building where classes where taught, you could find you locker there and the study room. The school was surrounded but a lot of woods and deep into them, there was a cabin where sometimes people threw parties but it was mostly for the third years to use exclusively whenever they wanted, you needed an invitation to go there.

“Hate this” You said standing behind your chair “Why do we have to wait? Can she just give her speech while we eat?”

Dina rolled her eyes shushing at you, you rolled them too looking around the room while the principal was giving the speech on how this was a new year and blah blah blah, you couldn’t care less as your eyes landed on the most amazing guy in the room, Jesse. A dreamy sigh left your mouth as you look at his perfect styled black hair, how amazing that shirt was on his chest and arms ¡Oh, his muscles! You could moan just to think of touching them.

The silly smile that adorn your daydreaming face faded as you saw a hand on his shoulder, your eyes diverting your attention to the girl besides him, his “bestfriend” Ellie Williams. Of course, she couldn’t be one minute away from him, always by his side, you’ve heard rumors that she usually sneaks to go to his room AT MIDNIGHT.

You found it outrageous, they never officialese anything but you knew there was something between them. Everyone in the room started clapping and so did you, shaking your head to let those thoughts fell ans sit down to start eating. “I’m so mad right now, I feel less hungry”

“Then why are you filling your plate?”

“Because I am hungry, Dina!”

“I am not your enemy, don’t talk bad to me” She put some rice and peas on her plate and filled her and your cup with water.

“I know, sorry, It’s just- Doesn’t she have anything else to do then be around him?”

Dina looked at the direction you were so fixated, watching Ellie and Jesse eating and laughing with the rest of the people in their table “They are best friends, you and I are always together, attached to our hips”

“It’s not the same and you know it”

She huffed exhausted knowing that you could go for hours talking about those two, so she just started talking with somebody else, you later joined in once your stomach was relaxed and you felt more happy and enthusiastic. When the dinner finished, everybody left slowly the room, some talking with other about the summer, others on their phone or simply walking but ¿You? You were sprinting to your room, tugging your bestie with you.

There was going to be a party in the cabin, everybody beside first years was invited, that meant more time to appreciate the beauty of your soon to be boyfriend. You were excited as you opened your wardrobe searching for something good but not too much.

“I need to look like a slut but not like a slut, you know hat I mean?” you asked Dina showing her two tops and waving them, she pointed at the one in your right “Cool”

She started getting ready too, flared jeans and a cute top was her outfit, she was not going to touch her hair again, she just applied some mascara and she was done. You felt kind of jealous of how pretty she was, and her personality? She was amazing.

“Look at that ass, girl!” you hyped her up slapping it “Are you trying to end the year with boyfriend just like me?”

“Something like that…” she shrugged. Her phone started vibrating, it was a call, you assumed, because it kept going “I’ll take it outside, are you ready? let’s go in five”

You nodded looking at her taking up the call with a ‘wait, I’m not alone’ as she went outside. Whatever, you had to practise your smile and the tone you wanted to use, ugh, this was hard, flirting was hard ¿Why couldn’t you just cast a spell on him and start dating? Skip all the awkwardness and straight to be the love of each others lives.

The door opened and Dina knocked looking at you “Come on! Everyone is gone!”

“I’m ready”

The walk towards the cabin was more sneaky than anything, it wasn’t until you were close that you could hear the music and see the bonfire outside, most of them were already drinking or smoking. The nervous feeling in your stomach was growing, you were hoping to look good, you were hoping for tonight to be the start of something good.

“Let’s have a drink to calm you down, honey” She said sensing how tense you were “Something light but enough to relax”

Inside the cabin there was too many people, you did not cared about that, you cared about not being able to spot Jesse anywhere, not outside, not inside. “Maybe coming today was a mistake”

You look at the inside of the cup that was handed to you frowning your lip in a sadly way, Dina shook her head holding your hand and taking you to the middle of the room, spin you and make you dance. Rolling your eyes you started dancing with her, having fun for a moment, sipping on your cup and maybe adding a little bit of more liquor in it.

Dina had her phone on her hand, checking time to time “Uh- I have to go outside for a moment, I’ll be right back!”

“For what? Dina!”

She was gone from your eyesight, you hated that, this has been her behaviour the whole summer too. You thought that maybe she had a sneaky link but eventually she would talk about it with you ¿Guess what? Almost 3 months and she didn’t.

You let yourself fall in a space in the couch, taking out your phone and replying to some messages from other friends, it’s not like you were 100% a loner but the only one who got you and you could be yourself was Dina.

“Why the sad face? This is a party”

You turned facing the stranger that was talking to you, just to find the face of the last person you wanted to engage in a conversation “None of your business”

She laughed while drinking whatever was left in her cup “Hey, I was just trying to be nice, your loss cause I’m actually very funny”

“If I need someone to make me laugh, I’d hire a clown, are you a clown?”

“Whatever you want me to be, I could” Ellie lock her eyes in yours, your mouth opened slightly narrowing your eyes as you moved aside.

“Yeah, no… Where’s Jesse? I mean-” you cleared your throat, you couldn’t give yourself away, letting Elie know your feelings for her best friend “You guys are always together as if you too were something more than friends”

There, you said it, now just wait to see her reaction or response. She stayed silent for some seconds before bursting into laughter, what was so funny? You didn’t get it.

“Oh, god, you are so funny” She wiped away a tear that came from laughter. “First of all, I like girls”

“You like girls?! Since when?” You were confused, you’ve never heard of this, not even in the gossip forum. That meant that Ellie was not competition any more, this was your year! You were screaming mentally and jumping all around.

“Yeah and I don’t know”

“Cool” now you could gift Ellie one of your friendly smiles, you turned your body on her direction, putting all your attention on her. She must have felt the shift in the whole vibe because now she was the one moving aside. “What were you saying about you being funny?”

The time went flying, you found her very entertaining, she actually someone you could easily talk to about anything ¡Gosh! You could have befriended her a long time ago if you weren’t so judgmental. You barely noticed when Dina came back and touched your shoulder.

“Finally! Where were you?” She sat in your lap.

“Outside, I told you. Hi, Ellie”

“Hi, Dina” she said kind of nervous, scratching the back of her head. You looked between them two as the energy was starting to feel off, that was until Jesse appeared in the picture in front of Ellie.

“Ellie, some of us are going to play poker, do you want to join?” He turned to look at you and he smiled “Hey, girls”

You silly laughed, biting your lip slightly before saying ‘Hi’, you couldn’t believe he was talking to you, even if it was just courtesy, HE WAS TALKING TO YOU. He said ‘Hey, beautiful lady that I want to marry soon’ with his eyes.

“Yeah, let’s go” Jesse helped her get up from the couch and you wished to be her at that moment to just casually touch him “See you around”

She was talking to you, but your eyes were only on her friend, Dina had to pinch you discretely for you to react “Oh, yeah, see you!”

Ellie waved ‘bye’ before disappearing from the room. You finally could breath and giggled pushing the dark haired girl out of your lap and to the couch, not only you found out Ellie liked hers but also Jesse talked to you, the tarot reader was right, this year was the year of love for you.

“Can we go? I’m so sleepy”

“Yeah! We have so much to talk and scheme tonight, I just found out about something so fundamental!”

“Fine by me if that means you’re going to talk alone and let me sleep while you pretend I’m not”

“Yeah”

[elliesbelle]

nobody compares to you

chapter 4

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, also toxic!ellie kind of, mentions of marijuana, sexual speech and content, brief mention of straight girls experimenting with lesbianism, toxic family relationships, lesbian situationship, descriptions and mentions of death & grieving, depressive episodes, cheating if you squint but it's more betrayal than cheating really?, bad driving for like two seconds, description and mention of vomit, minors do not interact

word count: 7k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-fi if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

Freshman Year, Early Spring

“Are you coming to Jess and Els’ later tonight?” Dina asked, snuggling your pink stuffed bear and laying upside down at the head of your bed with her legs outstretched to the ceiling. 

“Hmm?” You said, distracted. You were rummaging in your messy drawers, trying to find the other pair of a sock you were currently holding in your hand. 

“Ellie said she wants to do a post-midterm celebration with a movie night, which just means we’re gonna watch some lame old sci-fi movie that she and Jesse picked out.” 

“Maybe,” You said, tossing the sock into the other contents of the drawer, giving up. “Can’t stay too late, though. Raf is picking me up really early in the morning tomorrow.” 

“Ooh, can I finally meet The Hottie Cousin Rafael in person?” Dina said, dropping her legs and turning onto her belly to face you. 

You rolled your eyes and said, “You have Jesse, Dina.” 

She shrugged and said, “I bet Hottie Cousin Rafael wouldn’t make me watch lame movies all the time.” 

“Raf is far nerdier than Jesse is, I promise.” 

“If he’s as hot as he looks on FaceTime, his hotness will cancel out the nerdiness.” 

You scrunched up your nose in disgust at Dina’s thirsting after your de facto older brother. 

“I’m not the best judge, but Jesse’s not not hot.” 

Dina laughed. 

“I’m telling El you said that.” 

Your cheeks flushed as you said, “She’ll just say the same thing!” 

“All men are basically ugly in Ellie’s eyes. She’ll say, ‘Jesse’s the uglier version of a walker from The Walking Dead’ or some shit like that.” 

You giggled, knowing that was probably true. 

“Do you have to leave early for spring break?” Dina whined. 

You gave her a sad smile. 

“Sorry, D. You know how my mother is.” 

Dina groaned and, pointing to the plushie she was holding, said, “Barbie Bear, when will you come to life at night Toy Story-style and finally horrifically murder this awful lady?” 

“Dina!” You exclaimed, grabbing your pink bear from her. “Don’t you corrupt Barbie Bear! She is an innocent soul!” 

“Oh, she’s been corrupted already,” Dina said, snatching Barbie Bear back. “I’m sure she’s been a witness to the deplorable things you and Ellie have gotten up to in here.” 

“Dina!” You squealed once more, blushing furiously and hiding your face behind your hands. “She and I have not!” 

“Oh please,” Dina rolled her eyes. “Ellie comes back to her and Jesse’s place the morning after spending the night here with the same cocky ass look that Jesse has after we fuck.” 

“Oh my god—” 

Dina cackled and you giggled nervously. 

“So are you two officially together now or—?” 

“Who, me and Ellie?” You asked. 

“No, you and Jesse.” Dina said sarcastically, throwing Barbie Bear at you. 

You caught the bear at the last second, laughing as you climbed onto your bed with her and handed the plushie back to her. 

“Shut up!” You giggled. “But, umm. I’m not really sure what we are, if I’m being honest.” 

Dina groaned and said, “Ugh, you’re both useless!” 

“I’ve only had one real girlfriend before!” 

“So has Ellie!” 

“Then ask her instead!” 

“Oh, I have.” Dina said, raising her eyebrows. 

You perked up suddenly. 

“Wait, what did she say?” 

“Oh my god, can you two just have the talk already?!” Dina groaned, exasperated at her friends’ incompetence. 

You blushed harder than ever. 

“I just… I just don’t know if she feels the same way I do.” 

Dina rolled her eyes. 

“You’re the first person she texts every morning, and mind you, Ellie hates texting. She will spend an hour in that stupid Jeep of hers in the parking lot outside until you get home from class just to hang out with you. Three of her five hoodies are somewhere here in your room right now. Tara told me that you’ve sexiled her at least twice already.” 

“We have not!” 

“Honey, she literally spent two separate nights at mine and Astrid’s because you and Ellie were over here—” 

Dina made a circle with her right thumb and pointer finger and repeatedly inserted her left pointer in it. 

“OH MY GOD—” You screamed into a pillow. 

Dina was over the moon teasing you as you grabbed your blanket and hid underneath it. 

“I need to offer to do her laundry for two weeks or something,” You said, your voice muffled from beneath the covers. “I’m the worst roommate ever.” 

Dina chuckled, saying, “Don’t worry, she likes you and Ellie together. Just maybe shoot her a warning text before you two wanna scissor, or whatever you lesbians do.” 

“Oh please, like you and Ellie never did anything together.” You said, emerging from underneath your blanket. 

“Okay, first of all,” Dina said, putting up one finger. “Ellie and I kissed once at our sophomore homecoming dance, and that was just to make Jesse jealous.” 

You chuckled. 

Dina put up a second finger. 

“Two, it was like kissing a cousin, so that obviously resulted in zero sexual scenarios whatsoever from that point on. I have never once been compelled to call Ellie ‘daddy’ ever in my life.” 

You screamed into your pillow once more at this. 

Dina put both fingers down and put her middle finger up. 

“And three, I have had gay sex with women before, but they were both also bisexual and there was no scissoring involved!” 

You were laughing uncontrollably now with Dina attacking you with Barbie Bear. 

“Okay, okay!” You giggled, attempting to shield yourself. “Why are we talking about scissoring again?” 

“Because!” 

One hit from Barbie Bear. 

“You are avoiding!” 

Another hit from Barbie Bear. 

“My questions!” 

A third hit from Barbie Bear. 

“About you!” 

An additional hit from Barbie Bear. 

“And Ellie!” 

A final hit from Barbie Bear that landed on your face. 

You snatched your stuffed animal away from Dina before she could swing it once more, pulling it away from her reach. 

“Okay, no more abusing me with Barbie Bear!” You said.

She chuckled. 

“And…” You started, serious now. “I’ve never experienced this before. I’ve had one real girlfriend, which was a high school disaster.” 

You sighed. 

“I briefly saw that one girl Adriana at the beginning of the year before we both realized she was just a rebound to my ex. I’ve hooked up with a few other girls since, and I was even Rebecca’s first lesbian college experiment kiss before she realized she was just straight.” 

Dina was sitting straight up now, staring at you intently and listening attentively. You pulled Barbie Bear into your chest. 

“Ellie is… she feels different. Something in my heart just yearns for her. She makes me feel like I must have done something so great in a past life that her just being in my life is the reward. She makes me feel forgiven and understood and—” 

You paused your Ellie sermon when you made eye contact with Dina, who was looking at you with a soft expression. 

“Sorry!” You threw your hands up apologetically and proceeded to cover your face with them in embarrassment. “I sound like a 12-year-old experiencing their first real crush!” 

Dina chuckled and pulled your hands away from your face. 

“No, you don’t. You sound like someone who Ellie deserves to have in her life, someone who sees her fully and appreciates all the good and bad. She’s gone through her own fair share of romantic and sexual bullshit too, and knowing that she now has you?” 

Dina placed an affectionate hand on your cheek. 

“I know that I don’t have to worry anymore.” 

“Dina, you’re gonna make me cry right now.” 

Dina leaned back into your pillows, laughing. 

“You started it!” 

“You sounded like you were giving away a bride!” 

“Wow, not even officially together yet, but somehow you’re already getting married.” 

You groaned and flopped onto your back. 

“I love her, Dina.” 

“No shit, babe.” 

After the talk you had with Dina, you both went over to Jesse and Ellie’s dorm room. Even though Jesse was a sophomore and Ellie a freshman, they were somehow able to convince the campus housing department to let them room together after both their roommates dropped out during the first month of classes. 

The “lame old sci-fi movie” that they’d picked out turned out to be Jurassic Park, which you’d already seen several times, courtesy of your nerdy older cousin Rafael. Dina was playfully criticizing every little bit of the movie to tease Jesse, who was taking her critiques to heart. As the couple were lovingly bickering with each other on the floor, you and Ellie sat on her bed underneath a blanket. 

You leaned against her shoulder while she was tracing patterns on the palm of your hand. Though she was concentrated on the movie, she would habitually give you a kiss on top of your head, sometimes following with her nose nuzzling your hair. She’d not said she loved you so far, but gestures like this felt like her way of saying it. You felt warm and content and the happiest you’ve ever been in your life. 

After Jesse convinced the rest of you to watch the movie’s sequel (as punishment to Dina for talking through the first), you’d made up your mind to change your spring break plans. 

You were still planning on returning home for the break, but since Ellie, Dina, and Jesse were spending the weekend on campus and not returning to their hometown until Monday, you resolved to at least spend more time with them. You knew that two weeks of spring break didn’t seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things. But the thought of being away from your friends whom you loved so deeply, but especially from Ellie, hurt far more than it did when you left home for college in the first place. 

And after your talk with Dina earlier that day, you’d also decided to be honest with Ellie about your feelings for her before you briefly went your separate ways. You knew that maybe it wasn’t the greatest timing to profess your love for the girl of your dreams right before zero physical contact for fourteen days. But Dina helped you further realize the affection you had for Ellie, and you knew you couldn’t go home without letting her know. You also figured that if all went wrong, you could always use the two weeks to save face before returning to campus. 

During the scene with Jeff Goldblum and Julianne Moore’s characters are hiding in a trailer from the T-Rex parents, you texted your cousin Rafael. 

A minute or two passed before he responded. 

You reply immediately. 

Three text bubbles loaded for a second before two texts appeared. 

You felt your cheeks burn. 

You could almost feel your cousin chuckling through text.

You breathed a sigh of relief and gratitude.

You smiled, your heart full and thankful for your favourite cousin. 

Jesse whooped and Dina squealed as she pulled you into a tight hug when you told them you were leaving in two days instead of the next morning. Ellie didn’t say much in the moment, but you felt a glow of happiness radiating from her at the news. When your friends had settled down and continued the movie, Ellie pulled you closer to her and wrapped her arms around you. You leaned into her embrace as she silently decorated your neck with kisses, resolving to call your mother tomorrow morning to break the news. 

You never made that call.

You awoke to your phone buzzing angrily underneath your pillow. Discombobulated, you didn’t fully perceive your surroundings. You’d fallen asleep on Ellie’s bed, still wrapped in her arms. Jesse and Dina had eventually migrated at some point in the night to Jesse’s bed and were sound asleep. You saw that Ellie had plugged your phone into her charger after you’d fallen asleep. Stroking her hair lightly as she slept, you looked at your phone to see it was your mother calling. 

Before accepting the call, you’d seen that you had 7 missed calls and 4 voicemails. You groaned. Was your mother really that upset? 

You didn’t seem that alarmed until you saw that only 6 of those calls and 3 of those voicemails were from your mother. One of each was from your uncle, Rafael’s father. 

Why is Uncle calling me? Did she guilt him into guilting me to come home?

Sighing, you finally accepted your mother’s call. 

Ellie, Jesse, and Dina all awoke to you screaming. All three were at different levels of disorientation at first, but upon seeing your shrieking figure having fallen to the floor, they all rushed to your side. No one seemed sure what to do at first, other than trying to stand you up (to no avail) and ask what was wrong. It was Dina who snapped into sense first, noticing that you were still on a call with your mother. 

She picked up the phone, rushed through an introduction, and worryingly inquired what was happening. Ellie and Jesse watched as her mouth fell open and her eyes widened with shock. She listened to your mother for a minute or two before bringing the other two into the loop. 

Your cousin Rafael was killed in a hit-and-run that morning. Since he was no longer tasked to bring you home that day, he made impromptu plans with old college friends to meet up for an early morning coffee. He was crossing an intersection on the way to the café when a car decided to run a red light. He died on impact. 

Your spring break was consumed completely by black clothing, floral wreaths of white lilies and roses, and an overstocked fridge of homemade food that your family barely touched. You saw no happy faces, only red eyes and quivering lips. You were torn out of the blissful bubble of your college life into a waking, familial nightmare. 

Rafael was your first cousin and not your brother. But it was as if at birth, he claimed you as his sister and the rest was history. 

Everyone who knew either of you was aware of the sibling bond you’d shared. He was the most important person to you for the first 18 years of your life. More than your parents, more than any other family member, more than any of your friends. Saying that he was your best friend was an understatement. 

The two weeks back home with your family were a black haze. You remained locked up in your room for the majority of the time, and when your presence was required, you spoke only when spoken to. You alternated between fits of sobbing and near-comatose states. 

Your only comfort was your uncle, Rafael’s father. You never knew your parents to give genuine love and affection, so you grew up seeing your uncle as a parental figure. Even as he raised Rafael alone as a single father, he often took you under his wing and provided you with a place of home away from your parents’ house. 

Your parents, especially your mother, were preoccupied with putting on the show of a broken family to sympathizers. It was your uncle who made sure you continued to eat and drink every day. He was the one to give you the gentle push to leave your room for the funeral, knowing that you’d one day regret not going. He even spoke to your friends on the phone when you’d stopped responding. By the end of your spring break, Dina had his personal phone number so she could call twice a day for daily updates, which she would promptly share with Jesse and Ellie. 

Unlike your mother, your uncle placed no blame on you for his son’s death. He knew that the one true person to blame was the careless driver in the car that hit him. But your mother was a different story. 

In those last few days before you needed to return to campus, your mother enlightened you with her true feelings. 

She had decided your “selfishness” in inconveniencing your family was what decided Rafael’s fate. If he had been on his way to pick you up from college, he never would have been crossing that intersection. According to her, you’d placed insignificant people you’d known for less than a year over your own family. 

If you were a weaker person, you’d have crumbled under her accusations. She was quite skilled in twisting the truth to her point of view, and she was skilled even more so in making people believe the worst of themselves. But Rafael and your uncle raised you better. You may not have been the most secure person growing up, but they made you feel loved. 

Despite your mother’s malice, you were grateful for her outburst. It snapped you back into reality. Your fury at your mother reminded you that Rafael would not have wanted you to give in to her guilt. 

You knew that his death was not your fault. Of course you were still grieving, but you loved Rafael so much that you would not allow your mother to force you back into a state of living death. Your uncle made sure of this when he drove you back to campus. 

The few hours drive to your dorm, you and your uncle had the most intense and intimate conversation you’d ever had with him. You bawled, you even smiled and laughed a few times, and you talked about the future. It pained you to watch him drive away, the last real living connection you had left to Rafael. 

You may not have been the depressive zombie you were at the news of Rafael’s death, but you no longer lived blissfully in your college bubble. Still, your friends remained sympathetic and loving as you dealt with your grief. 

Ellie remained just as caring and affectionate, at least at first. She made sure to spend all her free time with you to make sure you weren’t left alone to spiral into your depressive thoughts. She didn’t try anything sexual with you and made sure to respect your mourning boundaries. She even set an alarm every week to make sure you were on time for your video therapy sessions (your uncle set you up with a therapist to make sure you remained stable). 

To the outside observer, your grieving process was progressing naturally and healthily. You barely missed class, you still saw your friends on a regular basis, you weren’t bursting out in tears (or so most of your friends thought). No one else felt the need to worry about you more than they had to. 

Except for Dina. 

Having lost her parents at a young age, it was mostly her and her older sister taking care of each other. Part of why she grew to be so close to Jesse was because his parents were family friends who helped them out when their parents passed. 

Dina has dealt with great familial loss before and she saw the signs of someone barely keeping it together. 

That’s why before your freshman year ended, Dina invited you to stay with her and her sister for the summer. 

Summer Before Sophomore Year: Jackson 

Calling your parents to let them know that you weren’t coming back home for most of the summer was a difficult conversation. Your mother threw a fit and your father chastised you for upsetting your mother. But with encouragement of your friends and your uncle (who promised you that he’d ship essentials from your parents’ house to Dina’s as soon as he could), you eagerly accompanied Dina, Jesse, and Ellie to their hometown of Jackson. 

After just a few days in the town, you understood why the trio have remained friends since childhood. The community in Jackson was small but very tight-knit. Everyone knew each other and it seemed unusual for people to leave. They treated each other like family, and you envied the comfy, homey feeling the town radiated. 

Dina’s sister Talia wasn’t around very often, consumed by her full-time job. You didn’t fully understand what she did for work, only that it had something to do with computers. The few times you were actually able to spend time with her, you enjoyed seeing the repertoire between her and her younger sister. Though ten years older than Dina, they treated each other like peers. You saw how Dina grew to be such an emotionally mature person. Talia accepted you with open arms, fulfilling the role of big sister the entire time you were there. 

On the third day of your stay, you finally met Joel. He was Ellie’s adoptive father who took in Ellie at a young age. Though they were not biologically related, you found yourself often chuckling over how similar the two were. 

Ellie’s foul-mouthed behaviour mirrored that of Joel’s, which was a welcome contrast to your parent’s curt and strict speech. He told stories of his past, many of which involved him getting into all sorts of trouble. Though he seemed to have grown out of it, you saw that impulsivity and temperament in Ellie today. 

He was a kind, old man, and you saw why Ellie admired him so. You also noticed just how much he loved Ellie as if he’d birthed her himself. You found yourself desiring the kind of parent Joel was. You had your uncle throughout your childhood, of course, but you still had to go home to the cruelty of your parents at the end of the day. 

Joel seemed to be aware that Ellie dealt back at your university. It was through him that Ellie actually knew her plug. This old pal of Joel’s, Eugene, was originally her (and Dina’s and Jesse’s) dealer back in high school. When they’d graduated and started attending university, Eugene introduced Ellie to an old contact who grew not far from campus once she started dealing. Joel would roll his eyes and scoff any time the topic of Ellie being a dealer came up, but he genuinely didn’t seem to mind as long as she was smart about it. 

On nights when Dina and Jesse were both busy, you found yourself spending the evening at Joel’s house. He was very keen on having you over for dinner often, complaining that Ellie was a very boring conversation partner. You bonded quickly over a number of things, such as your mutual love of coffee (to which Ellie rolled her eyes, claiming that a simple hot chocolate was far superior to that “burnt shit”) and being Ellie’s impulse control. 

About nearly a month into your stay, Dina was picking you up from another dinner at Joel’s and Ellie’s place to walk you back to her house. Both waved you goodbye at the front door (not before you gave Ellie a peck on the cheek) and watched as you and Dina linked arms and walked into the streetlight-lit darkness. 

Once you and Dina were out of their sight, Joel put his hand on Ellie’s shoulder. 

“Come on, kiddo. We need to talk.” 

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, old man,” Ellie exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air and leaning into the living room couch. 

“Ellie.” 

“Joel.” Ellie said, mocking his serious tone. 

“That girl is so in love with you, and it’s plain to anyone who sees y’all together.” 

Ellie crossed her arms, saying nothing. 

“And it’s as clear as day that you’re head over heels for her too.” 

Ellie scoffed and said, “Don’t assume shit, old timer.” 

“I ain’t assuming anythin’. I know you, and so do Dina and Jesse.” 

“You’ve been talking to Dina and Jesse behind my back?” 

“Now, hold on there,” Joel said, taking a seat at the lounge chair next to the couch Ellie sat on. “They were just tellin’ me about what y’all get up to at that big university, and we just got to talkin’ about you. There weren’t no secret meetings or anythin’ conspirin’ like that.” 

“And what did those two have to say?” 

“That y’all have been basically joined to the hip since y’all met.” Joel said, leaning back. 

“That’s not true—” Ellie began angrily. 

“Look, kid, no need to be pitchin’ a hissy fit. I’m just relayin’ what those two have been observin’. But since y’all took her home, apparently you’ve been actin’ a tad different towards her.” 

“What does that mean?” 

Joel sighed. 

“Ellie, this girl was all you talked about nonstop that whole year you were up at that school. I already know the girl’s favourite colour and coffee order just from the phone calls we had.” 

“I did not talk about her that much.” 

“Yes, you did. There’s no point in denyin’ it.” 

Ellie glared. 

“Now, I wanna know why it seems like you’ve changed your tune on her.” 

“Really, ‘changed my tune?’ Man, you’re getting too old.” 

“Don’t go changin’ the subject. Now, I can see how you’re still clearly sweet on her, but there’s somethin’ a little off. Like you’re holdin’ back from her, or somethin’ like that.” 

“I’m just not a people person, Joel, and you know that.” 

“Doesn’t matter. Ellie,” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and looked directly at her. “Do you love her?” 

“Come on, man—” 

“Ellie.” 

Ellie met Joel’s eyes and saw that he was waiting for a truthful answer. She exhaled, took a beat, and responded. 

“I don’t love her.” 

Joel sighed sadly. 

“Thought I taught you better than that, kiddo.” 

She looked away, saying, “We’re not even dating.” 

“Does she know that?  

“She’s not stupid.”

“That’s not what I asked.” 

Ellie stood up, exasperated. 

“Why does any of this matter, Joel!” 

“Because that poor darlin’ just lost her own kin, so if you’re fixin’ to break her heart, you need to stop stringin’ her along.” 

“I’m not doing anything!” 

“I like this girl for you, Ellie. She’s got a kind soul that somehow blossomed past her upbringin’. She brings out the best in you, even if you try to hide it. She thinks the world of you, kid, bless her heart. Don’t do somethin’ you’ll regret.” 

“I haven’t done shit!” Ellie yelled, standing up from the couch. 

“Daggum it, stop actin’ childish and listen to what I’m sayin’ here, Ellie.” 

Ellie stormed out of the room without another word. 

After the conversation she had with Joel, Ellie began acting distant towards you. It started with the little things: keeping her hands in her pockets while you walked around town to avoid holding your outstretched hand, no longer inviting you over to dinner at Joel’s unless Dina or Jesse planned on coming along, no more public displays of affection and very limited tenderness in private. 

Dina was right in her assumption that you were barely holding it together. The anxiety as a result of Ellie’s behaviour, on top of your grief over your cousin’s death, began unraveling you. 

Your late-night talks with Dina became less and less. You began sitting next to her or Jesse more often than you did Ellie. Dina would walk in on you completely spaced out and it took several minutes to get a verbal response out of you. 

Dina and Jesse were sure that if you came back with them to Jackson, being around the presence of those who loved you as opposed to people who resented you would ease your grieving process. They didn’t, however, predict that Ellie become a hurdle to your progress. And they certainly did not predict Ellie’s idiotic actions that followed. 

“I thought we were having a movie night,” Jesse said, eyebrows furrowed. “I brought DVDs.” 

Ellie chuckled, saying, “You know there are these things called ‘streaming services’ now, Jess.” 

“Hypocrite. You and Joel have stacks of DVDs of every action and sci-fi movie ever made in your living room.” 

“What can I say, I’ve gotten with the times.” 

“Like hell you have.” 

You, Dina, and Jesse were all bunched up on the pull-out couch in Dina’s basement (where you were residing for the summer). Jesse was messing with the TV’s remote to find the right input while you and Dina were snuggled up underneath the same blanket. Your tired eyes watched as Ellie pulled her flannel on and rolled her sleeves up, revealing that fern tattoo you loved so much on her right forearm. 

“Who the fuck is more important than us, anyway?” Dina said, frowning. 

Ellie chuckled again, saying, “We hang out almost every day, D. You’ll survive the night.” 

“You’re not coming back after dinner?” 

“We’ll see, but don’t wait up.” 

Your eyes then fell down to your fingers, fiddling with a loose thread on the blanket. You haven’t spoken out loud once tonight since Ellie’d walked in. 

“You’re banned from our friend group now. You may reapply in 3-6 months.” Dina said, flipping Ellie off. 

“Literally one dinner, drama queen.” 

“Where are you even going?” 

“Rivers Café.” 

You didn’t notice how Jesse’s and Dina’s faces fell. 

“Gonna be late, so see you guys later.” Ellie said, walking up the stairs without a second glance. 

After a beat or two, Jesse spoke. 

“What the actual fuck.” 

“Jesse—“ Dina began. 

“I love her, but god damn it.” Jesse got up and started shuffling through the DVDs he brought. 

There was a palpable tension in the air for the rest of the night. An old martial arts movie was playing, but none of you were paying much attention. Nobody said anything, besides a comment every now and again from Dina noting how unrealistic some fighting move was. 

Ellie didn’t come back to Dina’s that night. 

Two weeks before classes started, your things were packed to return to your parents’ house. You didn’t want to leave, but you needed to properly prepare for the start of your junior year. 

Dina was watchful and clingy before you left, constantly letting you know that the first thing she was going to do when you all returned to campus was hunt you down for a coffee date. Jesse would chuckle at this, saying that he’d probably see you when she dragged him along to it. 

Dina’s sister Talia said goodbye to you three days before your departure, needing to leave for a brief business trip the day before. She pulled you into a very tight hug, telling you that you were always welcome in their home and to feel free to tag along with Dina during any school breaks. 

You had a last dinner at Joel’s the night before you left. He made you and Ellie a simple pasta dish, which you learned was his late daughter Sarah’s favourite meal. He and you shared a sweet and intimate conversation where you both opened up about your shared familial losses. He told you about Sarah and you talked about Rafael. You understood why Joel was so protective over Ellie, having lost Sarah when she was only 12. You were happy that Ellie had someone like that in her life. 

Surprisingly, Ellie had offered to drive you home. You were starved for her attention, so you happily accepted. You offered for her to stay in your parents’ guest room for a night so she wouldn’t have to do so much driving in one day, but she said she didn’t mind. You felt disappointed, but you also didn’t want to subject her to your parents more than you had to. 

Dina and Jesse were the ones who waved you off (Joel sent his regards with Ellie when she came to Dina’s place to pick you up). You reassured them both that two weeks was not a very long time, though you were partly saying it out loud to convince yourself of it too. Your hand was the last thing they saw, waving from the passenger’s window of Ellie’s car. 

As you drove away from the gates of Jackson, there was not much noise except an Aminé song playing in the background and the occasional bird call heard outside from the rolled-down windows. 

There was a heaviness in your heart that weighed more and more the further from Jackson you were. Though you didn’t grow up there, the locals were so naturally welcoming. Being there felt like coming home every day. It was a safe and healthy place for you to process your grief. You wished summer went on forever. 

After a little while of silence between you and Ellie during which you lamented on your departure, you began to feel the awkwardness between you two. She hadn’t said anything and it didn’t seem like she had any intention to. You shrunk in your seat and began fidgeting and braced yourself to say something. 

“Um,” You started. “Thanks for offering to drive me back.” 

“No big deal,” Ellie replied. “Happy to do it.” 

You could feel your heart beating in your ears. 

“Why’d you decide to?” 

Ellie shrugged. “Just wanted to be a good friend.” 

You winced. 

“Is… is that what we are, El? Just friends?” You asked meekly. 

“I mean, yeah. Of course.” 

You felt your heart drop to your stomach. 

Is this how she really feels? Has this how she’s felt the whole year we’ve been doing all this? Have I just been reading into all this wrong? 

You attempted to suppress a bubbling anxiety attack, trying not to hyperventilate. Ellie seemed to be content with the silence and said nothing. 

Trying to distract yourself, you whipped out your phone to text Dina. 

She replied almost immediately. 

After a few seconds, another text from her popped up. 

You chuckled silently, replying: 

Ellie noticed the sudden sound, saying, “What are you laughing about?” 

“Just Jesse.” You said. 

“Ahh” was all she said in reply. 

You refused to look her way, feeling like seeing her disinterested face would make you feel worse than you already were. 

You texted Dina, saying: 

Three text bubbles appeared before her texts popped up. 

You gulped, even more anxious than before.

You tried to ignore the nagging feeling that there was something else going on, something you weren’t privy to. You and Ellie were inseparable most of freshman year, even before you were explicitly doing things that regular friends didn’t do. 

What’s changed? 

Sometime during your internal struggle, you’d drifted off to sleep. You woke up groggy and disoriented, taking a moment to realize you were still in the passenger seat of Ellie’s Jeep. The sun was further west than before. You glanced at the clock on the dashboard. 

“How much further do we have?” You asked, voice raspy. 

“About an hour or so.” 

“Oh.” 

You’d been asleep for longer than you thought. Feeling guilty, you wiped some drool off your chin and yawned quietly. 

“I’m sorry for passing out on you.” 

“All good.” Ellie said. 

“Did I snore?” 

Ellie shrugged and you stopped yourself from letting out an incredibly audible and frustrated sigh. 

Five or ten minutes passed during which you were wrestling with yourself on making use of the rest of the time to confront Ellie. In the end, you decided that two weeks of this anxiety eating at you was not worth it. 

“Els?” 

She didn’t seem to hear you. 

You cleared your throat and said a little louder, “Ellie.” 

“What’s up?” She said, dryly. 

You took a deep breath. 

“What’s been going on?” You asked. 

“What do you mean?” 

You bit the inside of your lip. 

“I mean…” You began. “You haven’t been yourself lately.” 

“I don’t really know what you’re talking about.” 

“Ellie, come on. You’ve been… different.” 

She didn’t answer. 

“Jesse and Dina both agree with me.” 

Her eyebrows furrowed. 

“I don’t really appreciate people talking about me behind my back.” 

“We’re not!” You exclaimed. “We’ve just been wondering why you’re so distant lately.” 

“Just cause I’m not much of a talker doesn’t mean I’ve been distant.” 

You used to talk all the time with me. 

“That’s not what I’m saying, Ellie. You don’t seem to like hanging out with us, and you cancel on us half the time. You don’t tell us what you’ve been up to or where you’ve been.” 

You gulped. 

“Like that movie night at Dina’s place. You agreed to come over for a sleepover, and you came for five minutes then bailed on us and didn’t even tell us where you were going.” 

“Yes, I did!” 

“Not ‘til the very end! You didn’t even tell us who you were seeing!” 

“Why does that even matter?” 

“It’s not that, Ellie! It’s just that you’ve been elusive and secretive, and I don’t like it!” 

“Well, that’s not really my problem, is it?” 

Her words pierced your heart and it took everything you had to keep going and not break down. 

Is that what I’ve become now? Your problem, Ellie? 

“I guess not.” You said quietly. 

A few minutes of silence passed. You were fidgeting in your seat once more while Ellie seemed completely disinterested in further conversation. 

But you refused to go back with all this unresolved. 

“Who did you see?” You asked suddenly. 

“Excuse me?” 

“At that café. Who did you go see?” 

“Why do you care?” Ellie scoffed. 

“Why won’t you answer?” 

Ellie rolled her eyes. 

“It was just an old friend, okay? Jesus,” She said, irritated. “I have other friends besides Jesse and Dina.” 

“Who was it, Ellie?” 

“Her name is Cat! God, enough with the questions.” 

You froze for a moment until you finally murmured, “Cat, your ex-girlfriend?” 

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

“You guess?” 

“What the fuck do you want from me, dude?” Ellie cried, coming to a stop at a red light a little rougher than needed. 

You blinked. 

“What?” You asked quietly. 

“What?” Ellie repeated, angrily. 

“Why did you call me that? You never… You always—” 

You always call me “babe.” Or “baby.” I thought I was your baby. 

“Whatever,” You said, shaking your head. “I just don’t know why you’d see her. I thought you hadn’t kept in contact with her since high school.” 

“We reconnected over the summer,” Ellie huffed, slowly putting her foot down on the accelerator. “Didn’t realize that was a fucking crime.” 

Your mouth quivered as silent, betraying tears began to fall. 

“Am I a joke to you, Ellie?” You whispered. 

“What?” 

“Am I a FUCKING joke to you?” You shouted. 

Ellie froze, almost swerving. She’d never heard you raise your voice this way. 

“I thought… I thought I meant more to you. I thought that we had something. What the fuck did I do wrong? What did I do?” 

Your right hand was wiping tears away while your left was clutching your stomach tightly. You felt like you needed to hurl. 

“You don’t look at me anymore. You don’t touch me. Why did you start talking to her again? Why wouldn’t you talk to me? Was I not fucking enough?” 

There was a pause before Ellie spoke. 

“You’re not my girlfriend. I have no obligation to you.” 

You felt as if the world disappeared from underneath you and you were falling. You were no longer in the passenger seat of Ellie’s car. No, you were plunging into a dark abyss, the same one that your friends had saved you from falling into when Rafael died. But here you were anyway. And it was Ellie who pushed you in. 

Before you knew it, Ellie had pulled up to the curb of your house. The sound of her engine turning off snapped you back into reality briefly. As you unbuckled yourself, you realized that on top of a plain black tank, you were wearing an unbuttoned flannel shirt that Ellie’d lent you. You tore it off and threw it to the floor. 

Before Ellie could even move, you were out of the car and pulling your bags out of Ellie’s backseat. By the time Ellie unbuckled herself and got out of the driver seat, you had all your bags in hand and ready to trudge up your parents’ driveway. 

You felt you probably looked ridiculous: tears and snot running down your face while you struggled with several heavy bags. But you didn’t care. You needed a wall between you and Ellie immediately. 

“Look—” Ellie started, taking a few steps. 

You dropped your bags and started towards her. 

“Fuck you, Ellie Williams.” You spat. 

“Fuck you for lying to me. Fuck you for leading me on. Fuck you for letting me fall in love with you. Fuck you for breaking my heart.” 

Ellie stopped in her tracks. 

“You... you—” She began, but her voice caught. 

By the time she found her voice again, you had already picked your bags up and hauled them to the front porch, keys already in your hand to unlock the door. She almost called your name out and yelled for you to wait, but you had thrown your bags through the threshold so quickly and disappeared almost immediately after them. 

Ellie jumped at the sound of the front door slamming. 

The second you had closed the door behind you, you leaned into one of your mother’s decorative urns and vomited.

author's notes:

is barbie bear based on an actual stuffed bear i own and is named barbie and is that a picture of her in the icon at the beginning of the fic? no

i was SO so nervous to post this omg, cause not only is this a long ass chapter, but i wanted to make sure to give proper explanation to present day events. i hope i did it justice! lmk what y'all think!!

writing a flashback chapter was so fun?? might do at least another one at some point

also i meant to mention this in a previous chapter, but reader's cousin rafael is actually based on an older cousin of mine (who has the same name but we all call him by a nickname) who actually has a similar-ish relationship with me as reader does with her cousin (he and i are only a year apart tho and reader & her rafael are several years apart), but dw my cousin is still alive sdklfjslsldkfj

btw pls notice that rivers cafe is an actual place in the games hehe (so was ruston coffee in the last chapter)

oh also if you have ever been sexiled before, i am so sorry and you will see heaven as reparations (i on the other hand will not as i have been a sexiler myself oops)

taglist: @lonelyfooryouonly, @elliesinterlude, @sawaagyapong, @peppesgirl, @iconsoft, @maybeidohaveadhd, @ellieswifee, @valiantllamapersonpony-blog, @nil-eena, @echostinn, @uraesthete, @softbunlvr, @cherriessxinthespring, @amitycat, @chrissyfishywissy, @yevheniiaaa