#elle plays wrestling games

[lizzygrantarchives]

Elle UK, June 2017

The world has changed and so has Lana Del Rey, whose new album, Lust For Life, is her most outward-looking yet. But as she swaps her melancholic persona for raw authenticity, how does she maintain her magic? We meet Lana on a hot afternoon in ‘Hollyweird’ (as she calls it), and discover the voice of a generation that’s ready to sing.

Does Lana Del Rey really live right inside the middle of the ‘H’ of the Hollywood sign, and spend most of her nights perched high above the chaos that swirls within the city of angels below, as the teaser for her new album, Lust For Life, suggests?

Or does she rent a house in LA’s Santa Monica or Silver Lake or someplace else she’s not about to divulge, in case, having taken a cryptic February tweet of hers literally, a posse of her 6.3 million well-meaning Twitter followers show up on her doorstep with the ‘magic ingredients’ to cast spells on President Trump?

Does she really only dip her toes into ‘the muck and the mires of the city every now and then’, as she says in the album’s trailer? Or does she ‘go out quite a lot actually’, as she tells me when we meet, and spend her nights having fun with a tight crew of mainly musician mates, dancing at house parties, going to gigs and occasionally wrestling the microphone from her male friends to sing Hotel California in karaoke bars? In this post-truth world, it feels pedantic to care too much either way.

The ‘real’ Lana Del Rey is a 31-year-old woman called Elizabeth Woolridge Grant, born in Lake Placid, New York. She’s close to her younger sister – Chuck, a photographer – but less so to her parents, Patricia and Robert, and her little brother, Charlie. They’re a family of individual she tells me: ‘It was natural that we all went down our own separate paths, and we’ve all stayed there.’

We are sitting next to each other on a sofa in the Los Angeles recording studio where she has been creating her most musically accomplished work yet – the aforementioned album, Lust For Life, is destined to be the sound of this summer. Lana is fully present, smart, funny, engaging and refreshingly able to laugh at herself. She wears jeans and a vintage shirt, and she talks softly but with a compelling certainty. I like her all the more for the fact that no amount of everydayness negates the magic she exudes as a performer. To her fans, Lana exists in flickering Super 8; the Manic Pixie Dream Girl who comes with no baggage or bad days, but is here only for you in a Valencia-filtered fantasy. She’s an idea of a woman who didn’t grow up anywhere, but emerged fully formed from the elevator at the Chateau Marmont Hotel. She’s a montage of Americana, finished with a flick of black eyeliner.

Both the reality and the fantasy of Lana Del Rey make up a fully formed, albeit exceptional, human being. But, as Lana tells me, inhabiting these two worlds hasn’t always been easy: ‘I know that if I had more of a persona then [when she released her breakthrough hit, Video Games, on the internet in 2011] I have less of one now. I think it comes down to getting a little older. Maybe I needed a stronger look or something to lean on [back then]. But it wouldn’t really be hard for me today to play a mega-show in jeans without rehearsing and still feel like I was coming from the right place.’

I suggest that the scrutiny Lana was put under by the media for having a melancholic persona was unfair. Everyone, to some degree, presents a different side of themselves at work, right? Plus, she’s hardly the first artist to change her name or cultivate a distinctive stage look. Yet, countless conspiracy theories called into question her appearance, talent, and family background around the time her second album, Born To Die, was released in 2012 – but Lana is remarkably understanding.

‘Looking back now, I get a little more of what they’re saying. When I was in the mix of a lot of reviews and critiques, I was kind of like, “What? I do my hair and my make-up just like everyone else for my pictures and my show, and yes my songs are melancholic, but so are whoever else’s.” So to see a couple of other female artists not get criticised made me think, “What is it about me?”’

In hindsight, she says, she understands what the criticism and intrigue over her authenticity as an artist was about: ‘I think it comes down to energy, I really do. It wasn’t overtly saying “I’m unhappy” or “I’m struggling” in my music, but I think maybe people did catch that and they were saying, “If you’re going to put music like that out there, you better fess up to it.” But I don’t think I really knew how felt. Then when things got a little bigger with the music I was still figuring out what was important to me.’

I get the sense that she’s done a lot off figuring out in the past few years, like many of us now in our early thirties probably have done too. The difference with Lana, of course, is that all her experimentation, mistakes and regrets were fodder for public consumption. I mention that sinking feeling I get when I stumble across an old diary or a Facebook post that feels like it was from a totally different place to where I am now. I ask if she can relate.

‘That applies to me,’ she says. ‘I have cringy moments. Certain things I have said and songs I have done, but mostly the ones that were leaked… I mean, they’re not my finest.’

She’s talking about her computer being hacked in 2010, when hundreds of unfinished songs were released online, without her permission. It was a horrible invasion of her privacy, and it leads on to a discussion about vulnerability – though interestingly, it’s not a word she says she has ever applied to herself.

I ask her what performing on stage takes from her emotionally and what she gains from it, her amphitheatre shows usually hold up to 24,000 people at capacity. She fixes me with a not-at-all vulnerable look and says, ‘Well, it depends on the day. If I’m having a good day, it still takes a lot, but so much of it is physical. I try to take strength and sing from my core, so I have to actually feel good and get a lot of sleep. Of course, it also helps if my personal life is even; when you’re on stage for an hour and 40 minutes, you think while you’re singing. I don’t like my in-between thoughts to be restless, or worrisome, so I can focus on the crowd.’

After a show, she feels reflective and needs time to process it. ‘It’s not like you do it and it didn’t happen; it’s a real experience. I know rock bands who say they fucking love it – that they would [perform] every night and wouldn’t do anything else. I don’t know if it’s as emotional an experience for them [as it is for me].’

Back to that need to feel good and have an ‘even’ personal life, Lana has lived in both New York and London, but says Los Angeles is starting to feel like home, and that’s a big part of what’s making her happy right now. ‘I’m growing my roots and meeting a lot of other friends, so I feel a little more settled.’ In her downtime, she loves swimming in the ocean. ‘I have a friend called Ron who likes to swim with me. So every now and then, we find an empty beach, jump in and swim the length of the coast, from one side of the cove to the other.’

Her friends are her family, says Lana, and that’s why she can’t accept anything less than total honesty and trust from them: ‘The fact that l know that now everything a lot clearer. What’s interesting is how unsafe we [could] feel among each other [if we weren’t] able to express how we really feel. It’s hard knowing that if you tell someone exactly how you feel, like if you’re happy or unhappy, that could be the end of the relationship because they don’t feel the same way.’

We speak about the crews you pick up through your life and agree that, in your thirties, you are much better at surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good. ‘When you’re in your twenties, you let this cast of characters [into your life], especially if you’re in the arts,’ she says. ‘It didn’t matter what they stood for or what they thought was important. But as the years went on, there were things that I saw in people that I didn’t like.’

Lana is enjoying being part of a music scene in LA where her friends include photographer Emma Tillman (also the wife of singer-songwriter Father John Misty), Zach Dawes, who has played bass with the British super-group The Last Shadow Puppets, and musicians Jonathan Wilson and Cam Avery. They play music together, which is not something she’s done with friends before. The first time she had dinner with the whole gang, she thought: ‘Wow, this is great.’ She tells me: ‘Feeling part of something is definitely a nice feeling.’ The downside to rolling with a crew of fellow musicians is that karaoke becomes a competitive sport. ‘If I am with the guys, they’re always on the microphone and sometimes it’s hard to grab it from them. Everyone pretends that it doesn’t matter, but you can tell there are moments in the choruses when people are really singing.’

We laugh and I feel pleased that I’m meeting Lana at a time in her life when, as she puts it: ‘All the tough things that I have been through – that I’ve drawn upon [in my work] – don’t exist for me any more. Not all my romantic relationships were bad, but some of them challenged me in a way that I didn’t want to be challenged, and I am happy I don’t have to do that now.’

I don’t mean to rain on her parade, but I ask whether she feels that when she admits she’s happy that something bad might be just around the corner? ‘Yes, sometimes. I have a little bit of that feel that it’s a human thing to be superstitious. Sometimes I say to my friends, “I don’t want to jinx it.” Or if l’m on the phone I’m like, “I’m so excited about this”, and then waiting for that phone call the next day… but there’s no such thing as jinxing it. Just let go.’

The key to happiness, she says, is to ask yourself what will make you happy: ‘I try not to do anything that won’t [make me happy], even if it’s a show in a place that doesn’t suit me. It’s so simple; I always used to ask myself that, but never listened to the answer because I knew I was probably going to do it anyway. If someone really needed me to do something, I would probably be like, “OK!”’

I wonder if we put too much emphasis on being happy and that in itself causes stress and anxiety, but Lana passionately disagrees: ‘No! I think happiness is the ultimate life goal. I think it’s the only thing that’s important. There are no mechanisms in place for routes to happiness, that’s the whole fucking problem. I think people are unhappy in school – the education structure has been the same for a long time and kids are still not satisfied all over the world with their educational experience. And you don’t have enough conversations when you’re young about what makes for a satisfying mutual relationship. Those collective life experiences – your youth, your academic education and your education about business, marriage or relationship goals they all lead up to happiness. I think the emphasis is on the wrong things, and it has been for a long time.’

Lana tells me she’s more socially engaged than ever; her fifth and latest album is a mix of personal introspection and outward-looking anthems, such as God Bless America, in which she sings: ‘God bless America and all the beautiful women in it.’ She says that, with this record, she was striving for a feeling that we’re all in this together: ‘I think it would be weird to be making a record during the past 18 months and not comment on how [the political landscape] was making me or the people I know feel, which is not good. It would be really difficult if my views didn’t line up with a lot of what people were saying.’

We discuss being constantly bombarded with news and other people’s views in our hyper-connected world, and I ask how she reconciles her personal wellbeing with the collective feeling that we are all going to hell in a handcart.

‘I think it’s a balance, I really do. You are so fortunate if you have good health and high energy because it takes a lot to be a responsible human. Responsible to yourself, responsible to others, and to know when not to get too deep into the wormhole of news, but still be politically in-the-know and not be disconnected. In my life, it’s like walking on a tightrope. I read the news, but I won’t read it before bed; I won’t read it when I get up and won’t read it between my recording sessions. I have windows of time where I check in and catch up with everyone, but I keep my sacred things sacred.’

And as for her paean to America’s women? ‘I wrote God Bless America before the Women’s Marches sprung up, but I could tell they were going to happen. As soon as the election was over, I knew that was going happen. People were way more vocal and more active on social media and in real life, so I realised a lot of women were saying out loud that they needed support and they were nervous about some of the bills that might get passed that would directly affect them. So yes, it’s a direct response in anticipation of what I thought would happen, and what did happen.’

Predicting the Women’s Marches must have taken a seriously smart, social instinct, or some kind of sorcery straight from one of her otherworldly Lust For Life trailers. Whatever you think, you can’t deny that the pulse of the zeitgeist beats throughout Lana’s new album, from her pop collaboration with The Weeknd on the title track to the moody duet with John Lennon’s son, Sean, and my personal favourite, Yosemite, a beautiful song about the way relationships change over time.

After she plays me this track in the very room in which it was recorded, I can’t help but ask what Lana is like as a girlfriend. ‘I’m amazing. I’m the best,’ she jokes, before clarifying, ‘I actually am the best girlfriend because I only get into a relationship if I’m really excited about it. I’m unconditionally understanding, very loving and like to be with that person for a lot of the time.’ After hearing Yosemite’s refrain that she’s no longer a candle in the wind, which to mean she’s found a steadier light in her life, I wonder whether what she looks for in a relationship has also changed? ‘For me, the dream is to have a little bit of the edge, the sexiness, the magnetism, the camaraderie, be on the same page and all that stuff, but without the fallout that comes from a person who is really selfish and puts only their needs first, which is like a lot of frontmen if we’re talking about musicians!’ (Lana has previously dated Barrie-James O’Neill, the Scottish lead singer of alt-rock band Kassidy.) ‘I’m going to write a book one day called, “The curse of the frontman and why you should always date the bassist.”’

Lana smiles, takes a sip of her iced coffee, and says: ‘I guess have a little bit of a fantasy that really great relationships, friendships, and romances can stand the test of time. Even though each person in the relationship or the group changes, they don’t change in ways that would make the relationship come to an end. The chorus [of Yosemite] is about doing things for fun, for free, and doing them for the right reasons. It’s about having artistic integrity; not doing things because you think they would be big, but because the message is something that’s important. And then, it’s about just being with someone because you really can’t see not having them in your life, not because it would be “beneficial” to you to be in their company. It’s that concept of just being in a relationship for 100% the right reasons. Being a good person, basically.’

Lana Del Rey is mercurial – just when you think you’ve got her she slips through your fingers like quicksilver – but in that hot second, I think I see her clearly: an artist who is rising from the ambiguity of youth and emerging into a woman with an authentic vision for her life and her art. Yes, that might one day fade like the barely there ‘Chateau Marmont’ tattoo on her left wrist, but right now her power is in sharp, unfiltered focus.

Originally published in the June 2017 issue of Elle UK with the headline California Dreaming.

[unlikelywrestlingfan]

Elle’s Unsolicited Thoughts on BOSJ 30 Night 5

Ya girl making her way slowly but surely thru!

Pre: No Chris again?😞 Do we have the onion at least? No hate to Kevin, he does great work despite our beef.

Match 1 - Ryusuke Taguchi vs. Hiromu Takahashi: WHY WOULD THEY PUT RYUSUKE AGAINST THE CHAMP IN HIS HOMETOWN. Sigh.

Match 2 - Kevin Knight vs. Bushi: skipped

Match 3 - TJP vs. Sho: skipped

Match 4 - Francesco Akira vs. Clark Connors: skipped

Match 5 - Lio Rush vs. Douki: Sigh. Okay. Alright. I can do this. I can be brave and watch another Douki match that may break my heart. KEVIN KNIGHT GAINING POINTS FROM ME BY PUTTING DOUKI OVER ON COMMENTARY. Kevin: "What's your problem? He's putting eyes on the onion." Douki leave the onion alone aldkjadlkj XD. Kevin Kelly stop saying "fresh out of the oven" challenge. DOUKI TAPPING OUT THE UNDEFEATED LIO FUCK Y E S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Match 6 - Yoshinobu Kanemaru vs. Robbie Eagles: skipped

Match 7 - Titán vs. Speedball Mike Bailey: Kevin Knight is fun on commentary! We love a Speedy win!!!!!!

Match 8 - Master Wato vs. Dan Moloney: RHINO GAVE MOLONEY THE GO AHEAD TO CALL HIS SPEAR A GORE, NICE.

Match 9 - Kushida vs. Taiji Ishimori: Kevin Kelly is really determined to mention Shelley every time we see Kushi, isn't he. Sidenote, Kelly's quick explanation of the recent history between Kushi and Taiji was a great, brief recap that brings people up to speed/reminds them without being redundant! Kevin Knight leaving commentary to go check on Kushi after the match :').

Match 10 - El Desperado vs. Yoh: YOH MOCKING DESPE'S BOW DURING HIS ENTRANCE ALJFALDKJA. Look I saw the pics of Yoh weirdly posing when Despe entered but LMAO WHAT ARE YOU DOING. HE MOCKED DTHE BOW AGAIN. Despe looks like: wut. LDAKDJALD MIDMATCH BOW. NEW DRINKING GAME UNLOCKED. YOH WT ARE YOU DOING HIE'S BOPPING HIS HEAD???? yeah Yoh you had that slam coming but ope roll out of the ring. Kevin Kelly: "Well Oscar and the other Young Lions coming over to potentially save our lives" lollllllllllll ALDKJADLKAJDLKJAD DESPE MAKING THE CROWD MOVE SO HE CAN Y E E T YOH INTO THE CHAIRS. Red Shoes being like go back in the ring and Despe holding up his hands like yeah. Now dragging Yoh back by the hair. LAKDJADL YOH WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOL ~before this match~ Despe: "So we're the main event and you're from Sendai, and you've been doing this bitch thing with your character - how much do you want to dial that up tonight? I can work with it." Yoh: "Yes." Yoh is laying down and kicking Despe like a toddler aldkjadlkj. Aaaaand now Despe's like, oh you're gonna be a bitch? Two can play at that game. XD . . . YOH JUST KISSED DESPE'S HEAD AND THEN LICKED HIS LIPS WITH AN INSANE LOOK IN HIS EYES????? another fall into the cover cover, love it. Wow, so that was a very solid match wrestling wise and also so much character work on both sides alkdjaldkjaldkjka well done.

Aw, handshake! WAIT DESPE BIT HIM ALDKJA LDKJA DL LOL.

I'm still never ready for how deep Yoh's voice is. CAMERA MAN DID WE NEED TO DO THE UNDER CLOSE UP SHOT OF HIS BOOBS OH MY GOSH NOW HE’S BOOBING DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA UM I

[unlikelywrestlingfan]

Thank you, love!

I LAUGHED SO LOUD AT YOUR RESPONSE I PROBABLY SCARED MY NEIGHBORS 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Dia Duit!!

Have a wonderful rest of your Sunday!!! The wrestling week begins anew tomorrow!

Also I got this dialogue in the NJPW Strong Spirits game:

Dia Mhaire Duit!

Thank you and I hope you had a great Sunday so far 🥰

Oh my God 😂😂 Zach Sabre Jr for new Primeminister?? 👀😂😂

[heavenunderthemoon]

oooooh what about Rossi holds like a hugeeee family bash and ems twins + hotch’s daughter is just tryna keep track of all the kiddos 💀. like the adults are in the dining room drinking wine or something and they just see matts/kristys triplets being chased by ems twins and hank being chased by hotch’s daughter

Okay ALL THE KIDS TOGETHER HEADCANONS

-the adults are all drinking and having a blast and Hotch and Emily pulled their kids aside and asked them to just keep an eye on everything and the teens all grumbled but olbliged because how hard can it be?

-very hard.

-Matt’s kids are the hardest, the teenagers find. They’re always running around, chasing each other, fighting, screaming, yelling. And they aren’t bad in a bratty way or anything- actually, they’re very polite bc Kristy would have their heads if they weren’t -but they’re used to being able to be loud in their house PLUS they’re all outside so why not?

-Hank is in middle school and he’s talking to Penelope’s kid who’s also in middle school. They hang out a lot bc Derek and Penelope visit each other often.

-Penelope’s kid is looking over hank’s shoulder at his laptop and he’s showing her this science website and Penelope’s kid isn’t all that interested in science but they’re showing Hank how to hack into it to get the more confidential information on new research projects

-he’s nervous and he’ll probably confess to Derek later that night (unprompted but he just feels guilty) but he does it in the moment bc 1. He wants to know and 2. He likes to hang out with Penelope’s kid

-Emily’s daughter is letting out grunts bc Spencer’s kid is pulling at her earrings and necklaces and chains and it’s strange bc elle’s baby (they’re like three years old) is kind of skittish around Emily’s daughter bc of how she dresses but Spencer’s daughter (she’s like four) just finds it really cool and wants to play with her all the time

-and it looks really funny bc this four year old is like “can I please get more strawberries🥺” to this teenager decked out in grunge apparel who always seems to have a snarky comment resting on her tongue and she’s like “😑yes”

-Hotch’s daughter is with elle’s baby (I’m starting to think Elle has a son) and it’s great bc jack is there to help and so jack is playing games with elle’s son and Henry is joining them bc he was playing with Matt’s kids but they tired him out and they all have this habit of running off without telling hotch’s daughter where they’re going so she’s constantly chasing after them and yelling “wait for me!”

-and then Emily’s son is herding around ALL of Matt’s kids and he’s giving glares to his twin like “how the hell did I get stuck with all of them!?” And they LOVE him bc he never says no and so all the daughters are like “can we braid your hair?🥺” and it’s not that long, maybe that 90s cut that goes to your ears and he’s sighing, and saying “yes” and when the adults glance out they just see Matt’s boys tag teaming the son, a mix between wrestling, chasing, and boxing, and the girls are giggling because in Emily’s son’s hair is just a bunch of hair ties and butterfly clips

-all of the kids had wayyyyy too much cake before they went outside too so it just sounds like a madhouse

-eventually the three teens coral all the kids into this huge circle and they play games, tell stories, and do really dramatic re-enactments of whatever the kids yell out (hotch’s daughter is in drama so she’s a favorite of the kids)

-Emily’s son did bring his guitar and his twin begrudgingly sings next to him and hotch’s daughter is tapping against her legs and all the kids are smlining and happy and theyre one big family

-when the adults hear the music they join them, Rossi starts a fire and now it’s a bonfire party that lasts well into the night and half of Matt and kristy’s kids fall asleep and so they have to carry them back to their van. Spencer’s daughter climbs into his lap and just yawns

-the kids are raving to their parents about how much fun they had

-the teens are EXHAUSTED

-they whine ab having had to watch the kids but they secretly had a really good time

-Emily’s son definitely walks Hotch’s daughter back to hotch’s car and Hotch is still wrangling jack away from the house and they’re alone and he places a sweet kiss onto her lips and bids her goodnight and she’s blushing like crazy the whole ride home

-and Emily’s son is stumbling into the car dazedly bc kissing hotch’s daughter makes him feel dizzy and Emily’s daughter rolls her eyes, used to it, and pushes him into the car

-“get in lover boy”

-Penelope’s kid, while shy and usually introverted, talks to Penelope the entire ride home about how tonight was a good night and they had fun

-the team agrees they’ll have to do it again sometime and they’ll probably do it once every month.

[thefandomlesbian]

Idk if you do headcanons but could you write some soft Jemily headcanons? Love you!

Sure thing! 

-At first, JJ doesn’t want to like Emily. She’s upset because Elle (who, let’s face it, was her gf) left without warning and without saying goodbye, and now the politicians upstairs have pulled strings to stick this random woman in their team who no one knows without even consulting Hotch. She doesn’t want to like her. She doesn’t want to replace Elle. 

-Of course, what she wants doesn’t go very far. Her initial distaste is bolstered because she thinks Emily is rather arrogant on their first case together, what with her polylinguism, but afterward, Spencer tells her how much Emily helped with the case and how cracking the terrorist’s code saved thousands of lives. Spencer likes Emily, and he’s JJ’s friend, so JJ is obligated to give her a chance. 

-Emily takes that chance and makes good on it. After the dog attack, Emily washes the blood off of her face and hands and sits with her. Emily doesn’t ask her any questions about Spencer, and she holds her while she cries. JJ dreams of how Emily smells for months afterward. 

-Emily knows she likes JJ for a long time before JJ knows she likes Emily. Emily has an immense distaste for Will. She senses Hotch does the same and confides in him, which he somewhat resists because he loathes the girl drama but Emily knows if she tells him, it won’t go any further. He won’t gossip. 

-It takes Emily a long time to confront JJ with her feelings.

-It happens after yet another argument with Will. They seem to be happening a lot these days, around Henry’s first birthday. Will isn’t happy with giving up everything in his bloodline for this family when it seems JJ isn’t willing to sacrifice anything. He’s angry that he left the position his father intended for him and that he’s more or less been reduced to a stay-at-home parent, and he feels JJ is never there when they need her. 

-JJ shows up at Emily’s apartment after walking out to cool her head. “I don’t think anyone will ever love me like he does,” she says, “but neither of us are happy and it’s not fair to us and it’s not fair to Henry,” and Emily gently tells her that someone will, maybe someone already does, and she’s right, it isn’t fair for her to stay trapped in an unhappy relationship.

-”What do you mean by that? Someone already does?” 

-This is when Emily confesses to her. She doesn’t expect anything in return, of course--she only means it as a reassurance, that someone will love JJ, that JJ is loveable. 

-But they consummate that night and JJ breaks up with Will. 

-He’s initially fucking pissed but he realizes sooner rather than later that he’s happier this way. He wants to return to Louisiana, but he wants to take Henry with him, causing a volatile custody dispute.

-Hotch has already been looped in by Emily and volunteers to represent them pro bono. With his help, they settle a fair custody agreement where JJ has primary custody. He also helps settle the splitting of their shared property and establishes child support payments. 

-For a long time, Emily keeps her apartment in spite of the invitation to come live with JJ and Henry. It isn’t that she doesn’t want to, but rather that she likes having her own space, and she just feels like, maybe, something isn’t quite right in the world yet, like maybe they’re safer apart from her.

-This feeling comes to a head when she realizes Doyle is back. She tries to break up with JJ and makes up a lie about how she can’t deal with JJ’s CIA placement, but JJ knows there’s something more going on, and when it finally comes out, it all makes sense. 

-JJ is furious with the decision Hotch makes to protect Emily. Emily is comatose, but JJ tries to make her case--that tearing her away from her family, that lying to them about her death isn’t going to do any good. Hotch argues that it’s the only way to keep her safe. “You know she’d rather die than go through this alone.”

-He looks at her. “It’s the only way to keep them safe. And I know that’s what she would want.” 

-JJ can’t argue with that. Emily will always prioritize the team’s safety over her own. But it is a long few weeks of recovery during which they keep wrestling over the electronics because drug-addled Emily thinks she can call everyone and tell them she’s okay and it won’t fuck them up to hear her voice after they’ve just buried her. 

-JJ cries. A lot. She cries all the time. She cries every time Spencer cries. She gets Emily to send her voice messages from Paris and tells Spencer that they’re old ones just so he can hear her voice again. But then Garcia finds out, and JJ knows she’ll be able to track the timestamps on the messages, so she destroys her phone and says it was an accident and all of the data was lost. 

-They can’t call too often (when they do, Hotch gets mad). So JJ sends Emily messages through the online scrabble board where they play. 

-JJ starts BAU online scrabble. She adds Emily to the game, codename Blackbird--to match CheetoBreath, MuscleFlex007, S.Reid, KittyKittyMeowMeow, CohibaBehike, and SRDDFKBJKL (Jack was helping Hotch on the computer). JJ tells everyone Blackbird is her younger cousin who’s interested in joining the BAU, and they all accept it, and Garcia adds Kevin, too, to make the numbers even. This starts a trend of them all playing online group games together. 

-They often ask when they can meet Blackbird or if Blackbird has applied to join the academy yet. JJ always dodges their questions. 

-After Emily comes back, she asks for a game of Scrabble, and that’s when they realize she was Blackbird all along. 

-This time, she does move in the JJ and Henry. She takes Sergio with her. She asks JJ to marry her, but JJ says to wait--not so soon, not after everything, she needs more time. And Emily respects this, because up until this point, Emily was always the one asking for more time. 

-And after the attack on the bank, JJ is ready. They get married in front of everyone. Dave Rossi walks Emily down the aisle with tears in his eyes at her request. 

[ellewords]

HEY ELLE recently i've been thinking about some type of haikyuu boys + japanese mythology au!! i think this might be because i came across the twitter account for an inarizaki-centric zine with this theme anyways i may have gotten a little bit overboard with this. maybe i should have a writing blog or something lmao

the inarizaki boys would DEFINITELY be kitsune with kita being their leader/the most powerful one. maybe most of them hang out at some large abandoned shrine in a forest that barely anyone visits and so they're free to hang around in their true forms--no one can see them, anyways, so it's not like kita'll scold them or anything...

that is, until you come along.

it's summertime and you're visiting a relative's house in the countryside, a familiar site from your childhood. when you were younger, you were known for having quite the imagination, always telling stories about what soon came to be called your "imaginary friends." one day you had come home to your parents telling them about how you played some ball game with two crow tengu--a short orange-haired one who seemed to have endless amounts of energy and a taller black-haired one who balanced him out with his more serious and focused nature. another day you told a story of how you accidentally startled a bakeneko because you had come up to him from behind while his back was turned to you and struck up a conversation. you liked that his hair was so different; you'd never seen anyone with hair like that before. "your hair looks like pudding. can i eat it?" you had asked. and of course, there was also the two owl sprits that helped you home when you got lost one late afternoon. one was soft-spoken and had gentle yet striking blue--or was it gray?--eyes, and the other was boisterous and befriended you almost immediately. you thought his black and white hair was cool, and his blue-eyed companion chuckled warned you not to stoke his ego too much.

but now you've gotten older. too old for imaginary friends. the years pass, and you see them less and less. you wonder what your companions are up to. do they still remember you? you move on with your life, but these musings lay at the back of your mind, collecting dust.

however, the time has come for some spring--or rather, summer--cleaning. upon your visit to your relative's house, these thoughts have been dusted out and displayed in all its glory. you can't stop thinking about it, so one day, for old times' sake, you venture into the nearby forest.

it's quiet and peaceful, just as you remember it. after walking for a bit, you decide to take a break in a clearing and eat the onigiri you packed as a snack. the early afternoon sunlight filters through the trees, enveloping everything in a warm glow. it's so beautiful, so ethereal; it's almost too good to be true, you think.

and it is. you become aware that something--or someone--is watching you, but with a rustle of leaves and the tiniest flashes of gray and gold the feeling dissipates. but you can't shake your unease, so you clean up and continue on your way.

your expedition has been unsuccessful thus far, and you're about to turn around and head back when you hear some unfamiliar voices in the distance. you go in the direction you heard the voices in, stopping in your tracks as you approach an old temple, the red torii gates worn and faded with age. despite this, it looks strangely clean and well-cared for. at this point, you're hearing more voices, and though part of you wants to turn back, your curiosity gets the best of you and you quietly make your way up the stone steps.

you reach the main shrine building. the voices lie within, but with how loud some of them are (are two of them fighting?), the owners of said voices may as well be right in front of you. it's all or nothing. it's probably too late to go back now. you take a deep breath and open the wooden sliding doors with a determination that surprises yourself—

—and are greeted with a group of boys around your age, each sporting fox ears and multiple fluffy tails. two of them are on the floor wrestling with each other (ah, so your suspicions were right). but they stop immediately when the doors open, and everyone turns to you. you can't do anything but stare back, eyebrows slightly raised in surprise.

somehow, you're not scared. rather, you feel a sense of relief at the fact that if you can see these guys, you have a chance of reuniting with your "imaginary" friends, too. but there are more important matters at hand.

one of the men, with white hair that blackens at the tips and piercing yellow eyes whose gaze seems to bore into your soul, is the first to speak. he carries himself with a quiet confidence and a certain authority—he's most likely their leader of sorts, you think. he stares at you, his eyes mirroring the mixture of unexpected calm and slight surprise in your own eyes, and tilts his head slightly.

"you can see us?" —🌸

hey hey 🌸sakuranon !!! i keep meaning to reply to this but my brain keeps going *computer powering down noise* anyways,,, i don’t know nearly enough about japanese mythology to give a proper addition but can i just say :

I LOVED READING THIS !!! so much ???? first of all, i really like the way you write and i love the references you made to other characters and how descriptive you were in the sights and actions. i really went ayyyeee. but aaaah i really love this so so much <33 hope you are doing well and having a day as amazing as you are <3

[writingpuddle]

Could you share your hc of the foxes reacting to soft(er) affection(as they get) andreil??? Ps I owe u my life ty.

hello friend! to absolutely nobodys surprise this took like half a year to write, but i hope you enjoy!! it ended up being a lot more about andreil dealing with pda than the foxes reacting to it, but its soft as hell so who cares. ao3

—

The hallway was filled with the smell of pizza and the sound of chattering voices. Neil slipped through the door into the girls’ room, which was abuzz with conversation. It was only the original Foxes tonight, but there were still enough of them to make the small room feel crowded.

He ducked Matt’s offered drink and spotted Andrew sitting at the end of the couch, watching Nicky’s animated re-enactment of one of the final plays of tonight’s game with a blank look on his face.

Neil skirted the coffee table and perched on the armrest above Andrew. His eyes flicked up to meet Neil’s in greeting, then returned to Nicky. Neil repressed a small smile. Despite Andrew’s bored expression, the very fact that he was watching Nicky at all was evidence of his attention.

“In summary, I am a mad genius,” Nicky said. “We are so gonna win championships this year. I can feel it.”

“If the freshmen don’t ruin everything,” Kevin said from Nicky’s other side. He shot Neil a quick glance. “If we can’t play Neil and Jack at the same time, we’re at a major disadvantage.”

“I’m dealing with it,” Neil said, a little peevishly.

“No more Exy talk,” Andrew said. “The game is over.”

“Kev-iiin,” Nicky whined, prodding at him, “why do you have to ruin everything? Did you even see my tackle?”

“One good play does not make a season,” Kevin said.

“It’s movie night,” Neil said. “We’ll do a recap at practice tomorrow.”

Kevin looked like he was about to argue, but he stopped himself with a quick glance at Andrew. Neil couldn’t see what Andrew had done, but he felt faintly grateful anyway.

The lights flickered on and off several times. “Attention everyone,” Allison said. “We held a vote, and we’re watching Legally Blonde.”

“You were the only person that voted for that,” Dan said dryly.

“We did technically hold a vote though,” Matt said. “She lost, but she didn’t lie.”

“Legally Blonde is a classic,” Allison said, sticking her nose up. “You’re going to appreciate it, or else.”

There were a few mutters, but nobody really had major objections. Movie night had started as a post-game decompress, but it had quickly been established as tradition once everyone realized it was the only night of the week that they got to avoid the freshmen completely. Exactly which movie they watched was an afterthought.

Unlike many of Allison’s choices, this one seemed to strike something, because within a couple minutes even Kevin was snarking at the TV in Elle’s defence, while Nicky fruitlessly begged for everyone to please shut up so I can hear the movie.

Neil watched with some distraction. He’d still not really gotten into pop culture, despite Nicky and Allison’s efforts. He figured he’d just been out of the loop too long to care about getting back in it. But the movie was kind of entertaining. He admired Elle’s devotion to studying law, even if her ex-boyfriend seemed like a loser.

He propped an elbow on the back of the couch. Andrew’s eyes flicked up towards him before returning to the movie.

Neil dug his phone out of his pocket and tapped out a short message.

How accurate is the legalese

He heard the buzz of Andrew’s phone a second after it sent. For a long moment, it looked like Andrew would ignore the message, but as the scene slipped into another emotional confrontation with the ex-boyfriend, Andrew’s attention drifted from the TV screen to the phone in his pocket.

A response buzzed into Neil’s hand. Okay

From Andrew, that was as resounding an endorsement as Neil could’ve asked for.

Neil glanced down at Andrew, feeling warm and sort of fuzzy. The team was getting riled up by the movie and were paying him no mind. His body was heavy and sore from the game, but with actual striker subs playing this year, it was nothing compared to the post-game aches last year. Andrew’s head rested against the back of the couch a couple inches from his elbow, and Neil’s eyes drifted from the TV to the tufted strands of Andrew’s un-styled hair.

He tapped out another message, feeling a little lazy and a little bold. Touch your hair, yes or no?

A frisson of energy went through him when he pressed send. He tried to keep his eyes on the TV, posture casual, but he couldn’t help glancing down when Andrew flipped his phone open.

He paused minutely. It wouldn’t have been obvious if Neil hadn’t been watching; Andrew’s natural state was stillness. Neil bit the inside of his cheek as Andrew contemplated the message for a long moment, face hidden.

Finally, he typed out a slow response. It buzzed through to Neil’s phone. Now?

Neil gnawed on his cheek, debating the merits of a longer explanation. In the end, he just replied: Yeah

He closed his phone and focussed on the movie. Below him, Andrew opened his phone and read the message.

Neil figured he would need to think on it for a moment, so he was startled when his phone buzzed barely a second later.

Yes

Neil folded his phone away, his chest a little tight. He couldn’t remember what the movie was about anymore. Andrews’s eyes darted up to him again, almost wary, as he rearranged his lean against the couch to give him better access to Andrew.

Andrew exhaled heavily through his nose when Neil’s fingers slid into the fluffy mess of his post-game hair. He watched for a sign that he could stop, but Andrew just readjusted his shoulders slightly, head faced forward. Neil combed his fingers through Andrew’s hair, twisting the longer bits around his fingers. It was startlingly soft. Neil’s own hair was fried and twiggy from years of hair dye.

His gaze roved down the side of Andrew’s face. His eyes were half-lidded and hidden in shadows. Neil bit the inside of his cheek and returned his gaze to the TV, idly brushing his fingers through Andrew’s hair and marveling when Andrew leaned into his fingers like a cat seeking pressure.

A soft noise rustled across the room and Andrew stiffened, his shoulders tensing. Neil froze, his eyes shooting across the room.

Matt had one hand over his mouth, eyes wide with regret. His other hand was on Dan’s wrist, directing her attention across the couch. To Andrew and Neil.

Matt met Neil’s gaze and Neil gave a sharp shake to his head to stop him from saying anything.

It was too late. Allison had caught the movement. In seconds a half dozen sets of eyes were swinging over to where Neil’s hand was still buried in Andrew’s hair.

Neil retracted his hand a beat too late. “What?” Nicky said, twisting around in his spot next to Andrew. “What are you all looking at?”

Neil opened his mouth to tell everyone to stop gawking, but Andrew was already moving, pushing himself to his feet. Neil jumped up and followed him out the door, ignoring Matt’s apologetic protest. “Andrew,” he said, as the door swung shut behind them.

Andrew strode down the hallway to the stairwell, his movements jagged and tense. “Andrew,” Neil said. “Stop, look at me—”

He grabbed Andrew’s hand to slow him down and Andrew lurched to a halt, spinning around to face Neil. His face was pale in the naked fluorescent light, his eyes wide and flickering. Neil would’ve thought he was angry at how Neil had grabbed him if it wasn’t for the fact that Andrew’s fingernails were digging into his hand so tight that they were going to leave bruises.

“Hey,” Neil said. “Look at me.”

“Shut up,” Andrew growled. His grip on Neil’s hand didn’t relent. Neil took a slow breath, meeting Andrew’s gaze evenly.

They stared each other down in the stairwell. Andrew stood a couple steps above him, their hands linked in the open space between them. The buzz of the overhead lights droned in Neil’s ears.

Slowly, Andrew’s shoulders dropped, the muscle in his jaw smoothing out. Neil carefully shifted his hand, interlacing their fingers. Andrew squeezed, like he was reassuring himself that Neil was real.

Andrew turned back up the stairs again, this time without the frenetic pace. Neil let himself get drawn along by their linked hands, watching the lines of Andrew’s back.

Andrew shouldered his way out onto the roof, but he didn’t go straight to the edge like Neil expected. The door slammed shut behind them with a gust of wind and Andrew shook out his pack of cigarettes one-handed, propping one between his lips before tilting the pack towards Neil.

Neil shook his head. This close to Andrew, he didn’t need his own cigarette. Andrew folded the pack into his pocket without a word and dug out his lighter.

Smoke swirled and caught around them. Neil rubbed his thumb across Andrew’s knuckles, scanning the horizon. The sky was purple and bruised with storm clouds. Humidity hung in the air in thick curtains.

Neil’s phone vibrated. Andrew flicked his eyes towards him, but Neil didn’t make a move to grab it.

They stood shoulder to shoulder for a long moment as Andrew burned through his cigarette. Neil suppressed a shiver. His t-shirt wasn’t meant to guard him against the evening chill.

His phone buzzed again.

“Are you going to check that?” Andrew said.

Neil shot him an assessing look before scrounging his phone out of his pocket.

“Matt wants to know if we’re okay,” he said, looking up to study Andrew’s profile. “Are we?”

Andrew ashed his cigarette, a tiny wrinkle forming between his eyebrows. He didn’t say anything.

“Was it me touching your hair?” Neil asked. “Or was it that they saw?”

“I don’t care what they think,” Andrew bit out.

Neil read between the lines. “But it bothered you.”

“Nothing bothers me.”

“Am I still nothing?”

“No.”

Neil blinked. Andrew wasn’t looking at him, but the set of his jaw was tight. “Oh,” Neil murmured, looking away, a fizzing, bubbling feeling rising in his stomach. He wrestled it down before it could show on his face.

“It shouldn’t matter,” Andrew said.

Neil didn’t know if he meant what had just happened in the dorms, or this. He didn’t try to specify. “We don’t always get to decide what matters.”

“Don’t pretend at wisdom,” Andrew said. “I know you.”

“You do,” Neil said, resting his shoulder against Andrew’s. Andrew leaned back, just slightly, his broad arm radiating heat. “Are we okay?”

The wind gusted again, sending goosebumps rising up the back of his neck. “Yes,” Andrew said, after a few seconds.

Neil squeezed his hand, typing out a message clumsily with his left. Fine. Just needed space. Don’t wait up

Matt’s response came through instantaneously. Let me know if you need anything.

Neil closed his phone and shoved it into his back pocket. “Do you want to go back in?”

A longer pause. “Not today.”

Not today. But maybe tomorrow. Neil didn’t say it aloud; he didn’t need to.

“I’m going to head back inside,” he said. “I’ll text you when it’s done.”

Andrew nodded, a bare tilt of the head. Neil raised their linked hands and brushed a kiss across his knuckles. Andrew flexed his fingers when Neil released them, closing his hand and tucking it into his jacket pocket.

Neil lingered a second longer to make sure Andrew was really okay before slipping back into the stairwell. It was only a few scant degrees warmer, so he descended back to the Foxes floor quickly. The door to the girls’ room was still unlocked.

He pushed it open and had about half a second to edge into the room before Allison paused the movie and all eyes turned on him.

“Hey,” Matt said. “Are you–”

“I’m fine,” Neil said.

Allison rolled her eyes. “Right, we’ve never heard that one before.”

Neil shot her a glare. Aaron beat him to the punch, though. “Where’s Andrew?” he said, scowling at Neil.

“He needed a break,” Neil said, and nodded his head towards the TV. “You can keep watching.”

“Should we wait for him?” Renee asked.

Neil shook his head. At Renee’s prodding, Allison huffed and pressed play. Neil dropped into the spot on the couch Andrew had vacated. Nicky shot him an inquiring look, but Neil shook his head to dissuade questions.

The movie played onwards, not that Neil paid much attention.

Above, on the roof, Andrew watched the storm roll towards Palmetto, washing away the dust of a dry autumn. His hand in his pocket still burned with the imprint of Neil’s palm.

He rubbed his thumb over his fingernails and tossed the butt of his cigarette away. The wind mussed his hair, blowing away the ghosts of Neil’s fingers.

His hair was too intimate, he decided. That had been a mistake.

Hands, though. He could manage that.

Next time.

The first raindrops hit the roof and he pulled his jacket around himself, waiting for the storm to break.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

so...when the story that i remade Vita for was scrapped, we were all given the option to either de-level the characters we made or make a new one (funfact; i’m the only player that changed characters completely, haha whoops). i wrestled for a while about what to do, since i was really looking forward to being a Woodland Sniper, and just as i was giving up and settling to stay the course, i was hit with a brilliant concept, and i ran with it, a very classic yet cliched concept i’ve seen people online do a bunch but i had never done myself; a sugar-sweet, candy pink, unicorn themed tiefling, complete with the horns and hooves i rarely give to my tiefs

so may i introduce to you Candoren Caina, Candi to her friends. i first tried to build her as a Unicorn Bloodlined Sorcerer, but...i couldn’t get it to make sense, so i scrapped that and went with Warlock (we play Pathfinder, so it’s the New Paths Compendium version) because i had been wanting to try that out, and it would still make me a primary range attacker (like Vita was) but give the party a tiny extra bit of magic in the long run. seeing as the Warlock’s main stat is Intelligence, i decided that she’s the fantasy Elle Woods; you’d never look at this bubbly candy pink tiefling and expect her not to be a bobble headed blonde. so she likes to twist that expectation and use it to her advantage. it also helps that she’s 1 of like 8 kids (#4 or 5 i think), raised in a popular adventurer tavern by her single mother who just so happened to be the hot barmaid that all bards go to seduce (yes, all her siblings are different races lol); this leads her to being a bit iffy around bards, but greatly shaped her social skills. she lived there until a teenager, when a magic man came through the tavern, saw the magic potential in her (and maybe 1 or 2 of her siblings) and offered her mother a full ride scholarship to his magic school. so Candi went off to magic school. which leads us to the story now; she comes to town to study the ancient magical ruins in the area for her thesis paper.

she doesn’t get a random dice pallet because (1) she’s played on roll20, and (2) she suits the new candy pink set i bought and the handful of pink/white/blue d6s and matching d20 from random pounds i’ve accumulated, because they are totally her colors and warlocks need multiple d6s. (i have ALOT of pink dice)

so onto the other fun extras; name meaning game:

Candoren Caina kandər -en kay-nah

Candoren: from the word “candor”, meaning  the quality of being open and honest in expression; frankness

Caina: from the name “Cain”, meaning “acquired” in Hebrew

pun count: her name is a very blatant “candy cane” pun (because her color pallet is based on my peppermint lotion’s packaging); combining “candor” and the fact that “cain’ is often associated with demons, pointing to infernal contracts

while her playlist...yeah i’m having issues getting my iTunes to cooperate, so this is very subject to change, but i mostly like this...

Bubblegum Bitch, by Mariana and the Diamonds

I Want Candy, by Aaron Carter

Watch Me Shine, by Joanna Pacitti

You’re Gonna Go Far, cover by Johnathan Young

Under Our Spell, from Equestria Girls

Queen of Broken Hearts, by Blackbear

Die Young, by Kesha

Belle, from Beauty of the Beast

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

The American Initiative (Finale)

Part Fifteen

Summary: Grace Cleveland and Eleanor Baker both thought their lives were over, until they became part of something much bigger – the Avengers. Pairing(s): Clint Barton x OFC, Steve Rogers x OFC Word Count: 1893 Blanket Warnings: Death, mentioned a couple of different ways, but not detailed; canon divergence; more based on Marvel movies. In the infamous word of Steve Rogers, “Language.” A/N: Yes, you read that correctly -- this is the last part of this fic! Thank you to everyone who has read it and loved it. Special thanks to my Marvel consultant, resident sounding board, and all around bestie @captain-s-rogers​. You guys don’t know how much this story wouldn’t be a thing if it wasn’t for her! 

Now the question is, should I do a sequel? Hmm, maybe read this first, then let me know ;)

Masterlist Wanna be tagged?

Even just the brief lowdown Tony gave Bruce before they returned to the lab was too long for Grace’s safety. When they walked in, Joel had one bloody -- but healing -- arm around Grace. With his free arm, he was injecting some serum into Grace’s neck.

Bruce took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back; Tony could see that things were going to escalate very quickly. No matter how much Bruce hated the green guy, Tony’s first priority was Grace.

“Bruce,” Tony said quietly, catching eyes with the other man, who was already turning shades of green, “big guy on big guy, yeah? I’ll get Gracie.”

Bruce nodded and a few seconds later, the Hulk was there, letting out a shouting growl. Joel looked up from Grace’s still form, now aware of the company in the lab. He began to change to match Bruce’s size, tossing the needle to the side and laying Grace on the floor. Joel challenged Hulk with a growl in return, immediately going for the first swing as he lunged at the Hulk.

Tony slid across the well-waxed floor like he was sliding into home plate. He ended up at Grace’s side, pulling her away from the two giants fighting for control of the situation.

“Jarvis, a suit -- like, now, please!”

As Joel and Hulk continued to wrestle around, Tony hovered over Grace’s body, shielding her from being hurt by the two of them. The suit arrived none too soon and once he was clicked in, Tony picked Grace up and crashed up and out of the lab, just ahead of Joel and Hulk crashing into the main floor of the house. The growling and yelling and crashing continued while Tony tried to think fast of what to do with Grace. He didn’t want to abandon Bruce, but Grace wasn’t even conscious.

“Tony, we’re outside,” Nat announced via his earpiece, “if you can, get Grace and get outta there.”

“I’ve got her, we’re coming out,” Tony replied, heading outside. “She was injected with something, I don’t know what.”

The quinjet was waiting for them, hovering just above the ground with Nat at the helm. The jet bridge lowered; Steve, Clint, Thor, and Ellie were there, at the ready and on guard. Tony passed Grace off to Clint, who got her secured in the jet and notified medical that they would need assistance soon.

“I’ve got her Clint, you go,” Nat encouraged, already preparing to do a body scan with the technology they did have aboard the jet. “I’ll get her back to the compound, they’ll start working on her right away.”

“I wanna stay.”

Nat squeezed his shoulder. “Clint. If you don’t go and kick this guy’s ass, you’re never going to forgive yourself. Go.”

Clint took one more lingering glance at Grace. She was in good hands with Natasha, but he couldn’t stop the nagging need to tell her goodbye, just in case. He kissed her forehead, pursed his lips, and headed in to join the fight.

Hulk had managed to get Joel back on the defensive, but it was going to take the whole team to take Joel down for the last, final time.

“Whatever we throw at him, he gets back up,” Clint noted, slinging taser arrows one after the other, with little to no effect on the man.

Ellie, face to face with Joel at the moment, faked him out the way she had done to Steve a couple of months before when they were sparring. Joel lunged for her but fell on his face. Thor was right there with the mjolnir, swinging the hammer in an upper-cut motion to throw Joel backwards. Joel flew against a wall, crashed through it, and slumped on the floor. He worked to push himself up, but was unable to get back on his feet. The team assembled in front of him, on guard and ready to fight more.

“I know about all of you, you know,” Joel sputtered, spitting blood and a tooth that had come loose. “I know about the hawk, who gave Grace confidence in herself again. She ran right to you when she came back from me, didn’t she? Did she tell you what I did to her? How do you feel, knowing that I touched her, that I kissed her?”

Clint’s jaw set hard. He absolutely hated the way thinking of those things made him feel, but he knew that Joel was playing mind games. Every fiber in him wanted to put an arrow, a real one, right between Joel’s eyes.

“Then there’s the Iron Man,” Joel continued, managing to sit up, his legs stretched out in front of him. His size was decreasing by the second. “What’s your deal with her? The daughter you never had? Maybe some inappropriate feelings?”

Tony’s chin lifted, and his chest puffed out. It wasn’t often that he cared about someone other than himself, but when he did, he cared deeply. What he didn’t care for was this dumb son of a bitch cheapening his emotions towards Grace. He held his hand out, repulsor glowing and ready to fire.

“And let’s not forget the pathetic excuse for an enhanced that Grace believes is some kind of sister now,” Joel continued, spitting in Ellie’s direction. “Pathetic is being generous, by the way. I mean, truly, what kind of tragic, self-deprecating martyrdom are you trying to achieve, Eleanor? You have a daughter who lost both of her parents, unexpectedly. She could have a mother, and yet you let her live her life without you. You’re here instead, trying to find some sort of purpose when --”

Steve had watched Ellie’s confidence waver as Joel’s speech went on. Rather than stand strong, Ellie was back away, and her eyes were brimming with tears. Joel had delivered a particularly low blow, bringing her daughter into the picture. Unable to watch anymore, Steve had taken one good shot at Joel with his shield, stopping the monologue.

Joel’s face went from sardonic amusement to an evil, angry scowl. He made to get up again, his size increasing and decreasing as he worked up the change to take advantage of his enhancements. The team stood strong, though Steve did tuck Ellie behind him in an effort to cover for her sudden uncertainty.

As Joel began to heave for breath, Clint took his shot. An electrically-charged arrow sailed into Joel’s chest, knocking him back on his ass. The other man’s eyes went wide, gripping his chest, scratching at his ribcage and his throat as he struggled to take a breath. His eyes became bloodshot and his lips started to turn blue. The panting became wheezing, fewer and farther in between, until Joel’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to the floor.

Cautiously, Steve stepped forward to check Joel’s pulse. He looked behind him at the team and shook his head.

“Well, that was anticlimactic,” Tony sighed. The repulsor went dark and his arm was again at his side.

“We don’t know if the enhancements will bring him back,” Thor commented. “We need to get him back to the compound where he can be monitored until we know for sure.”

Everyone agreed. They radioed for transport, with Nat promising that she was already returning with the quinjet.

“ETA three minutes,” she informed.

As they all worked to come down from the fight, Steve put a hand on Ellie’s arm. “You all right?”

Ellie nodded, but refused to meet eyes with him. Thor had Joel’s body thrown over his shoulder, and as the others followed the Asgardian out to the front, Ellie fell in line, Steve behind her.

Joel was dead -- really dead. He was monitored until the decomposition process began, at which time S.H.I.E.L.D took care of things. The crisis was over, but there was always another one on the horizon. For most of them, life went on as it had before Ellie, Grace, and Joel came into their lives.

Tony was staying at the compound for the time being, while his house was repaired. He could have stayed at home, but then he would have been much further from Grace than he preferred to be at the moment.

In contrast, Clint made himself as busy as possible so that he didn’t have time to see Grace. He took every mission possible and trained in the meantime. The only person he would speak to outside of missions was Natasha, but not even she could convince him to see Grace, or talk about his feelings in regard to that situation.

Ellie had barely left Grace’s side since they had returned with Joel’s body. Day and night, she was with her friend, waiting for whatever was going to happen next -- until she made a decision and knew that Grace was simply going to have to be okay without her.

Steve found Ellie next to Grace’s bedside. Grace was breathing on her own -- in fact all of her organs were functioning normal. There was an IV in the back of Grace’s hand, to keep fluids and nutrition going into her system, wires monitoring her heart, and electrodes attached at various places over her head to monitor her brain activity. That was the only organ not functioning normally; per the EKG, Grace’s brain was actually functioning almost twice as much as it had before.

Despite all of that, nothing and no one had been able to wake her up since Joel had injected her with the unknown serum.

“You leaving isn’t gonna wake her up, Elle,” Steve said, standing next to Ellie with his hands in his pockets.

Ellie nodded. “I know, but me staying isn’t going to wake her up, either. And I think Grace would want me to do what’s best for me -- now more than ever.”

“You think?”

“I still can’t read her. I see the lines on the monitor, her brain is working. But I get nothing.” Ellie took a deep breath. “Gracie has to take care of herself, and I have to take care of myself. I don’t want to say Joel was right, necessarily, but he had a point. I can stay here and be a hero and let my daughter see me on a new report one day, or I can go there and face up to my whole family and see if they’ll have me back.”

Steve licked his lips and nodded. “And what about us?”

Ellie took her time answering. “There’s not an us, Steve. I know what we’ve both been feeling, I know that I kissed you. But I can’t think about any of that now -- and I certainly can’t put it ahead of my family.”

“Okay.” Steve nodded. He put an arm around her waist and kissed her temple. “I wish you the best, Ellie. You know where to find us -- to find me -- if you need anything.”

She wanted to reach out for him, to ask him to go with her. For the first time since she had been brought back to life, though, Ellie was confident that she could face this on her own -- that she needed to face this on her own.

Ellie took one more glance at Grace, squeezed her friend’s hand, then adjusted her bag strap on her shoulder, and turned to leave the Avengers compound.

Tags: @captain-s-rogers​​​​ @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​​​​ @xtina2191​​​​ @shynara51​​​​

[trialedsage-archive]

1ST  RULE: Tag 9 muses you’d like to get to know better. 2ND  RULE: BOLD the statements that are true for your muse. 3RD  RULE: Repost, DON’T reblog  ! !

NAME: Crevan Espane aep Caomhan Macha, “Avallac’h,” “Fox”

OCCUPATION: Aen Saevherne/ Aen Elle Sage

AGE: Well over 400.

SEXUALITY: Straight.

PRONOUNS: he/him

APPEARANCE:

I am 5’ 7″ or taller. I have at least one tattoo. I have at least one piercing. I have blonde hair. I have brown eyes. I have short hair. My abs are at least somewhat defined. I have or have had braces.

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people. People tell me that I’m funny. Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me. I enjoy physical challenges. I enjoy mental challenges. I’m playfully rude with people I know well. I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it. There is something I would change about my personality.

ABILITY:

I can sing well. I can play an instrument. I can do over 30 push-ups without stopping. I’m a fast runner. I can draw well. I have a good memory. I’m good at doing math in my head. I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute. I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling. I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch. I know how to throw a proper punch.

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports. I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else. I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else. I have learned a new song in the past week. I work out at least once a week. I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months. I have drawn something in the past month. I enjoy writing. I do or have done martial arts.

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss. I have had alcohol. I have scored the winning goal in a sports game. I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting. I have been at an overnight event. I have been in a taxi. I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year. I have beaten a video game in one day. I have visited another country. I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts.

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship. I have a crush on a celebrity. I have a crush on someone I know. I have been in at least 3 relationships. I have never been in a relationship. I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them. I get crushes easily. I have had a crush on someone for over a year. I have been in a relationship for at least a year. I have feelings for a friend.

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a best friend. I live close to my school. My parents are still together. I have at least one sibling. I live in the United States. There is snow right now where I live. I have hung out with a friend in the past month. I have a smartphone. I have at least 15 CDs. I share my room with someone.

RANDOM SHIT:

I have break-danced. I know a person named Jamie. I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce. I have dyed my hair. I’m listening to one song on repeat right now. I have punched someone in the past week. I know someone who has gone to jail. I have broken a bone. I have eaten a waffle today. I know what I want to do with my life. I speak at least 2 languages.

tagged by: @blackvials​ (thank you!!) tagging: @iorvethofdunwall​, @onemusemanyfandoms​, @suhmuse​, @conjunction-of-spheres​, @shucklcs​, and anyone else who’d like to do it! If you’re a multimuse, do it for whichever muse you like!

[vocalist-l]

1ST RULE: tag 9 muses you would like to know better.

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true for your muse.

3RD RULE: Repost, DON’T reblog ! !

NAME: L (ELL)

OCCUPATION:  musician

AGE: 29

SEXUALITY: Pansexual

PRONOUNS: He/him

APPEARANCE:

I am 5 ’ 7 “ or taller. I have at least one tattoo. I have at least one piercing. I have blonde hair. I have brown eyes. I have short hair. My abs are at least somewhat defined.(Umm more than defined.) I have or have had braces.

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people. People tell me that I’m funny . Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me. I enjoy physical challenges. I enjoy mental challenges. I’m playfully rude with people I know well. I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it . There is something I would change about my personality.

ABILITY:

I can sing well. I can play an instrument. I can do over 30 push ups without stopping. I’m a fast runner. I can draw well. I have a good memory.I’m good at doing math in my head. I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute. I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling. I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch. I know how to throw a proper punch.

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports. I’m (i was) on a sports team at my school or somewhere else. I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else. I have learned a new song in the past week. I work out at least once a week. I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months. I have drawn something in the past month. I enjoy writing. I do or have done martial arts.

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss. I have had alcohol. I have scored the winning goal in a sports game. I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting. I have been at an overnight event. I have been in a taxi. I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year. I have beaten a video game in one day. I have visited another country. I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts .

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship. I have a crush on a celebrity.I have a crush on someone I know. I have been in at least 3 relationships. I have never been in a relationship. I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them. I get crushes easily. I have had a crush on someone for over a year. I have been in a relationship for at least a year. I have feelings for a friend.

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “ best friend ”. I live close to my school. My parents are still together. I have at least one sibling. I live in the United States. There is snow right now where I live. I have hung out with a friend in the past month. I have a smartphone. I have at least 15 CDs. I share my room with someone.

RANDOM SHIT:

I have break-danced. I know a person named Jamie. I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce. I have dyed my hair. I’m listening to one song on repeat right now. I have punched someone in the past week. I know someone who has gone to jail. I have broken a bone. I have eaten a waffle today. I know what I want to do with my life. I speak at least 2 languages.

Tagged by @voice-mikaru aka old man<3

Tagging @winterxnoxfenikksu @savagexryuka @kizasi-anon @kissxanna @thecatfreaks @hvoli

[unlikelywrestlingfan]

Y'all: Despy's not scary!!

NJPW Strong Spirits:

[wctchit]

1ST  RULE:  tag  9  muses  you  would  like  to  know  better.

2ND  RULE:  BOLD  the  statements  that  are  true  for  your  muse.

3RD  RULE:  Repost,  DON’T  reblog  ! !

@garnishedarrogance (makaria), @aquamanandfriends (Blake Kiefer) @gvngsigns (Elle and Dante), @thwipiism (Ben and Petey) and anyone else who wants to

NAME: Chess

OCCUPATION: pizza man |

AGE: depends on verse but 20

SEXUALITY: intrigued always |

PRONOUNS: he/him

APPEARANCE: I am 5 ’ 7 “ or taller . I have at least one tattoo . I have at least one piercing . I have blonde hair . I have brown eyes. I have short hair. My abs are at least somewhat defined. I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people . People tell me that I’m funny . Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me . I enjoy physical challenges. I enjoy mental challenges . I’m playfully rude with people I know well . I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it . There is something I would change about my personality.

ABILITY: I can sing well . I can play an instrument . I can do over 30 push ups without stopping . I’m a fast runner . I can draw well . I have a good memory . I’m good at doing math in my head . I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute . I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling . I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch . I know how to throw a proper punch.

HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports . I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else . I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else . I have learned a new song in the past week . I work out at least once a week . I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months . I have drawn something in the past month . I enjoy writing . I do or have done martial arts.

EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss . I have had alcohol . I have scored the winning goal in a sports game. I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting . I have been at an overnight event . I have been in a taxi . I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year . I have beaten a video game in one day . I have visited another country. I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts .

RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship . I have a crush on a celebrity . I have a crush on someone I know . I have been in at least 3 relationships. I have never been in a relationship . I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them . I get crushes easily . I have had a crush on someone for over a year . I have been in a relationship for at least a year. I have feelings for a friend .

MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “ best friend ” . I live close to my school. My parents are still together . I have at least one sibling . I live in the United States . There is snow right now where I live . I have hung out with a friend in the past month . I have a smartphone. I have at least 15 CDs . I share my room with someone.

RANDOM SHIT: I have break-danced . I know a person named Jamie . I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce . I have dyed my hair . I’m listening to one song on repeat right now . I have punched someone in the past week . I know someone who has gone to jail . I have broken a bone . I have eaten a waffle today . I know what I want to do with my life . I speak at least 2 languages.

[amaidasfairassummer]

1ST RULE: tag muses you would like to know better.

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true for your muse. *italics for verse dependent

MUSE: Joanna Lannister (oc) FC: Sophie Nelisse, Elle Fanning and Ramona Marquez.  OCCUPATION: war medic (main modern verse) actress (alternative modern verse). AGE: Thread dependent

PRONOUNS: she / her

APPEARANCE:

i am 5'7" or taller

i wear glasses

i have at least one tattoo

i have at least one piercing (ears)

i have blonde hair

i have brown eyes

i have short hair

my abs are at least somewhat defined

i have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

i love meeting new people

people tell me that I’m funny

helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

i enjoy physical challenges

i enjoy mental challenges

i’m playfully rude with people I know well

i started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

there is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

i can sing well

i can play an instrument

i can do over 30 push-ups without stopping

i’m a fast runner

i can draw well

i have a good memory

i’m good at doing math in my head

i can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

i have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

i know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

i know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

i enjoy playing sports

i’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

i’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

i have learned a new song in the past week

i work out at least once a week

i’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

i have drawn something in the past month

i enjoy writing

i do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

i have had my first kiss

i have had alcohol

i have scored the winning goal in a sports game

i have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

i have been at an overnight event

i have been in a taxi

i have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

i have beaten a video game in one day

i have visited another country

i have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

i’m in a relationship

i have a crush on a celebrity

i have a crush on someone I know

i have been in at least 3 relationships

i have never been in a relationship

i have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

i get crushes easily

i have had a crush on someone for over a year

i have been in a relationship for at least a year

i have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

i have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

i live close to my school

my parents are still together

i have at least one sibling

i live in the united states

there is snow right now where I live

i have hung out with a friend in the past month

i have a smartphone

i have at least 15 cd’s

i share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

i have break-danced

i know a person named jamie (well jaime but yeah) 

i have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

i have dyed my hair

i’m listening to one song on repeat right now

i have punched someone in the past week

i know someone who has gone to jail

i have broken a bone

i have eaten a waffle today

i know what I want to do with my life

i speak at least 2 languages

Tagged by: @kingfishcr

Tagging: @killthebxy  @legends-and-savages  (any muse)  @rha-egal  @sansa-jonquil-stark  @cubofcastamere  @scndor  @for-our-sins

[jcinthedance]

1ST RULE: Tag the muses you would like to know better.

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true for your muse.

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7 or taller  ( About six feet! )

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY

I can sing well

I can play an instrument ( Piano, the trombone in school. )

I can do over 30 push-ups without stopping (?)

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory   ( It really depends on the memory. )

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute 

I have beaten at least two people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least three meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (Was.)

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone on runs at least once a week in the warmer months ( Does... running from the law count? )

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concert

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship 

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for over a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month 

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have break-danced

I know a person named Jamie  ( Maybe? I don’t ask the guards’ names...)

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now ( On the record player in the tearoom. )

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail  ( I have BEEN that someone.)

I have a broken bone (had)

I have eaten a waffle today ( Mostly cookies and finger sandwiches...)

I know what I want to do with my life (?) ( ... I don’t really do long term plans...)

I speak at least two languages

Got tagged by: @littlexbluexflame​ & @lostandfoughtfor​  !!

Tagging: @blindxeyed @bsidemuses @wellplighted @babydxhl  @ashortdropandasuddenstop i... don’t know who hasn’t yet! Please take it from me!

[chants-de-lune]

I was tagged by @qamalakhan AGES ago but I’m doing it now

1ST RULE: tag 9 people you want to get to know better:

@mistletoezutara @malecbellarke @jordanjaspermcgreen @ravenbellclarke @selflessbellamy @karenpunisher @grumpybell @grayacejace @transtlanticism

2ND RULE: BOLD states that are true

APPEARANCE: · I am 5'7" or taller · I wear glasses · I have at least one tattoo · I have at least one piercing · I have blonde hair · I have brown eyes · I have short hair · My abs are at least somewhat defined · I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY: · I love meeting new people · people tell me that I’m funny · helping others with their problems is a big priority for me · I enjoy physical challenges · I enjoy mental challenges · I’m playfully rude with people I know well · I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it · there is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: · I can sing well · I can play an instrument · I can do over 30 pushups without stopping · I’m a fast runner · I can draw well · I have a good memory · I’m good at doing math in my head · I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute · I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling · I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch · I know how to throw a proper punch (?)

HOBBIES: · I enjoy playing sports · I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else · I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else · I have learned a new song in the past week · I work out at least once a week · I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months · I have drawn something in the past month · I enjoy writing · fandoms are my #1 passion · I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES: · I have had my first kiss · I have had alcohol · I have scored the winning goal in a sports game · I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting · I have been at an overnight event · I have been in a taxi · I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year · I have beaten a video game in one day · I have visited another country · I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: · I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” · I live close to my school · my parents are still together · I have at least one sibling · I live in the United States · There is snow right now where I live · I have hung out with a friend in the past month · I have a smartphone · I have at least 15 CDs · I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: · I’m in a relationship · I have a crush on a celebrity · I have a crush on someone I know· I have been in at least 3 relationships · I have never been in a relationship · I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them · I get crushes easily · I had a crush on someone for over a year · I have been in a relationship for at least a year · I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM SHIT: · I have breakdanced · I know a person named Jamie · I have had a teacher with the last name that’s hard to pronounce · I have dyed my hair· I’m listening to one song on repeat right now · I have punched someone in the past week ·  I know someone who has gone to jail · I have broken a bone · I have eaten a waffle today · I know what I want to do with my life · I speak at least 2 languages · I have made a new friend in the past year