#ella stop world building at 12 am

[apicelladonna]

Warden Dolma Rinpoche, Elder guardian of the eastern Himalayan ranges.

Charge of the lesser pathway that borders the muggle barrier of the mountains. For almost seventy years, if records are updated.

The old witch had little care for politics. She heard rumors of gatherings far to the west, of great wizards convening in the stone dzong, but that was not her concern.

The earth, the mountains, and the creatures that called this place home—that was Her charge.

Her duties were simple: protect the land and its inhabitants, care for those who passed through, and offer peace to the weary. If she has bread and water with her effects, she shares it. If there are lost souls, she guides them back to the town.

[samthemarvelfan]

Goodbyes: Chapter Six

Summary: Ella Monroe is the Avengers newest recruit, handpicked by Steve Rogers himself. Indebted to him for reasons unknown, Cap pairs her up with Bucky Barnes. He is tasked with training her to relearn and hone the skills that have long since rusted. Bucky is cold and distant, and Ella can’t seem to break through the wall he’s built up for decades. He sees something in her though, and it scares him to death. Has the fate of these two strangers been sealed? …or will they always be longing…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC, feat Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson

Warnings: DARKER THEMES AHEAD. Angst, Bucky is a dick, mutual pining, self sabotage, male-on-female violence, description of injuries, PTSD, mentions of medical talk? Sloooooow burn ahead. Fluff!

A/N: guys guys GUYS! Get ready for a lil fluff! The balls gonna get rollin’ and its a non-stop ride now. I hope you all enjoy, any and all feedback is appreciated! <3 Happy Valentine’s Day!

Taglist: @iheartsebastianstan @jjlizz @stuckysbabe @sk493494 @lefoutoir @nickangel13 @marvelismysafezone @lilulo-12 (strikethrough means the tag didn’t work! I’m sorry!)

Ow. That’s the only thought going through your head. Your eyes open and judging by the IV’s in your arm, you’re in a hospital. The events that landed you here start flooding your mind. You remember the HYDRA base, the agents, and the pain, but where is everyone? Where’s Steve? Sam? Where’s Bucky?

You sigh, Bucky.

He’d been so mad at you for ignoring him...a commanding officer. You’re in a huge amount of trouble—no doubt about that. You decide now isn’t the time to think about that, after all you were just shot.

You wanted to know if you’d dreamt him carrying you into the jet. If it was all just delirium from blood loss when you thought he was caring for you, assuring you that you’d be okay. You wanted to see him. Hell you needed too.

“Shit...” you seethe. Your right arm is in a sling and your shoulder is bandaged tightly. You scoot attempting to shimmy your body up so you could sit up some more. The sound of the door opening caught your attention, and when you saw him walk in you almost fainted.

Sergeant Barnes entered your hospital room, two water bottles in hand, dressed in black sweats with a tight, black cotton shirt. He’s being quiet as to not wake you. When he realizes you’re up he freezes, though. Unsure if he should be there at all.

“Hey...” you practically whisper. He says nothing, but takes this as an approval of his presence. There’s a chair next to your bed... right next to your bed. So close that the arm of the chair is indenting the side of mattress. Bucky grips the chair and moves it out from the bed a foot or two, then sits in it.

“Where am I?” You ask him quietly. It is then you notice that his jacket had been hanging on the chair he moved from your bed. Had he been here while you were asleep?

He opens the top of one of the water bottles, and hands it to you. “You’re at the compound. This is the med unit.” He speaks softly.

You take a sip of the cold water, relishing the hydration it gives your body. “I didn’t even know we had a medical unit on-site.” You say in an attempt to make conversation.

He stops to lock his gaze on yours. “And you wouldn’t have, had you just listened to me last night.” He sounds annoyed with you already, but also worried.

“Sam was in trouble. Steve didn’t respond to his distress call and neither did you, I did what I thought needed to be done.” To you it was simple. Your friend was in trouble, and you helped him.

“You defied a direct order, Ella.” There he goes, using your name again. “There could be serious consequences to that. If I wanted to, I could have you dismissed from the Cadet program all together.” His tone was serious but he wasn’t threatening you, he was just stating a fact.

You cleared your throat, before looking at him and fiddling with the head of your shirt. “Is that what you want?” You ask.

Why wouldn’t that be what he wants? He makes it pretty clear you’re a huge thorn in his side, and he doesn’t enjoy your company. This is an easy out for him, get rid of you and ease his work load in the process.

He smiled softly to himself. Smiled? Was that a smile on those perfect lips?

“No,” he said softly. “I just—“ 

Bucky was cut off by a tap at the door, causing him to stand quickly and move away from you even more.

“Knock-Knock...” You knew that voice. “Hey Ella, how are you doing?” Steve asks, sitting at the edge of your hospital bed.

You smile at him, unsure of what you’ve done in your life to deserve such a good friend. “I’m okay I promise. I’m just so sorry for all the trouble I caused.” You glance to Bucky, who’s gaze seemed to be locked on your shoulder.

“Can we get you anything?” Steve asks sincerely.

You shake your head, “I’m okay. I swear, I’m not looking forward to the scar this is gonna leave, but at least Sam is okay.”

Sergeant Barnes’ demeanor changed suddenly. You felt the tension in the room build and you didn’t like it. Why does he do this when other people are around?

“Sergeant Barnes,” you call to him, when his eyes meet yours you feel you heart do back-flips. How can someone be so gentle one moment and so cruel the next?

“Thank you for staying with me, and for helping me last night. I don’t know what would have happened had it not been for—“

He interrupts you, “Get this straight, Cadet. Out there—that’s the real world. The threats were dealing with are real,”

His eyes shift between yourself and Steve, who is looking at his friend with disappointment.

“The consequences are too. You get hurt, or worse...” Bucky’s jaw clenched. “The shit storm comes down on me, and people wonder why I put up with a recruit who can’t follow a simple instruction in the first place.”

Your heart falls into your stomach. “All I can do is apologize, Sergeant.” What else can you say? He clearly doesn’t wanna hear excuses, so there’s no point in trying to defend yourself.

“Despite all that,” Steve starts, “You did great out there. I don’t know if Sam,” He looks to Bucky, “or any of us would be here if you didn’t take the initiative.”

A small smile creeps across your lips, “Thanks, Cap.” The wound in your shoulder starts to throb from your elevated blood pressure. You grit your teeth, adjusting yourself on the cot.

“You’re sure you don’t need anything?” Steve asked, guilt painting his word. He rested his hand on yours, earning a stern glare from Bucky. You watch him subtly out of you peripherals, his jaw was clenched as was his metal fist.

You close your eyes momentarily, wrestling with the pain you feel in your shoulder.

“I’m alright. I just need...time.”

Bucky scoffed. “Time? You need to learn to listen to orders.”

“Buck—“ Steve started, removing his hand from yours.

He continued, “You wouldn’t be in a hospital if you could follow a simple command. You risked everyone’s safety because you’re too stubborn to do as you’re told.”

My eyes narrowed at Sergeant Barnes. Why does he do this? He treats you so differently when Steve is around, and you’re about fed the-fuck up.

“Ya know what? You’re absolutely right.” You say firmly, attempting to stand from the bed.

“Ella, just relax. He didn’t mean—“ Steve interjected.

“No Cap, I know exactly what he means.” You got to your feet; pride being the only thing hiding the pain from your face.

“Sergeant Barnes has made it very clear from the beginning what he thinks of me. What was it you said a few weeks back? Oh right, that I’m incompetent, I’m lazy, and I’m spoiled. I’m a rookie who would run from a fight the minute it started.”

Steve’s thumb and forefinger pinched the bridge of his nose, before looking at his friend. He subtly shook is head at Bucky, who kept his eyes locked on you, jaw tightly clenched.

“Guess what Sarge,” you say with disdain, gesturing to your shoulder. “I didn’t run did I?”

Bucky doesn’t speak, and his gaze on you is unyielding. “From now, keep your two-faced ass away from me.” You felt that all too familiar sting prick your eyes as you rip the IV from your arm. “You don’t know a God damn thing about me, Barnes.”

You pushed by them both, finally allowing the hot tears to stain your face as you head for your room.

“Mother...fucker...” You groan. You’re attempting to change your bandages, but unable to get it wrapped fully around your shoulder. Even with a mirror, it was impossible to do using your opposite hand.

You almost had it when a knock at the door made you jump. “Shit! Yeah, what is it?” You call, looking to the door.

The door opened slowly, revealing a casually dressed Bucky on the other side of it. You turned your back immediately, tending to your bandages again.

“What do you want?” You sneer.

He was quiet for a few seconds. You almost didn’t think he was going to say anything, until that familiar, irritated sigh passed through his lips.

“Christ, let me help you.” He said taking a few steps into your room.

You groaned. “I do not need your help.”

He scoffed. “Fine. Wrap your bandages poorly and get that wound infected.” He knew you wouldn’t protest, and shut your bedroom door.

You sigh, rolling your eyes so hard you thought they’d get stuck. You stood from the seat you had taken at your desk, walking up to him with as much attitude as you could muster and shove the gauze into Bucky’s chest. The force doesn’t move him an inch. “Just hurry up.” You command.

He unrolls the gauze, ripping it with his teeth when he deems it long enough. Bucky looks at the half-assed job you did on yourself and let’s out a chuckle.

“What is so damn funny?” You ask, annoyed to your core.

“Nothing, I just think it’s ridiculous you’d risk losing an arm for the sake of your pride.” He jested.

“What, not something you’d recommend?” You joke, nodding to his metal appendage.

He lets out a breath of laughter, “Not exactly, no.”

Bucky undoes you’re bandages, watching the pain form on your face as he moves over the open wound.

“Shit...” you intake a sharp breath of air causing him to pause. He watches you grip the edge of the table so hard, your knuckles go white.

He softly grips the spot above your elbow. “Just...take a deep breath. I’ll move as fast as I can.“ Bucky’s voice coaxes the tension from your muscles, and you relax.

Doing as he says, you inhale deeply through your nose and out through your mouth. Bucky attempts works quickly, seeing the discomfort in your face. The rough tips of his fingers cause chills to go through your body. He notices, and you hear him swallow hard.

The skin he passes over is burning, calling out for him to touch you again. You feel his warm breath on your neck, as you shudder. His body heat keeping your muscles relaxed.

“Almost done. Keep breathing.” He whispers in your ear. The smoothness in his voice coats your eardrum like honey, sending your body into a hypnotic buzz.

When he finishes he places his right hand on your bicep. His thumb stroking the smooth skin of your arm a few times. “All set, Els.” He speaks, using his nickname for you again.

You spin around to see he’s mere inches from you. “That um, that’s perfect.” You whisper. Your eyes flicker over his lips, and his do the same to yours. 

He’s so handsome. You think, Ya know, when he’s not being a total dick.

He stands to his feet quickly, breaking the intimate trance you shared. He disposed of the used bandages, and you realize that you indeed needed more help than you were willing to admit.

“Thank you.” You mumble in his general direction. You hated this, how you wanted to forgive him for all the horrible things he said to you and about you.

“You’re welcome.” He says softly.

Another moment of silence passes between you two. This is the Bucky you wanted all the time. This Bucky was kind and gentle and actually cared about you, or at least he made it seem like he did.

“So why did you come here? To my room? The last time you were here, you made it clear you didn’t wanna see me again.” You ask.

“That’s not true.” He said quickly defending himself. “You left the med unit before you were suppose to, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Well as you can see, I’m fine.” You retort.

He looks at the ground for a moment. “I’m glad.”

You nod, as a sigh escapes your lips. The way he affects you isn’t insignificant. It means something, at least to you.

“Bucky, what are we doing?” You ask softly.

He doesn’t protest as you use his name, but rather looks at you confused. “What do you mean?”

You stand with a scoff, “This! I mean here you are, in my room...again. We’re alone and it’s private and it’s intimate so you’re being,” he steps closer as you fumble over your words, “I don’t know, you’re being the guy I wish you were all the time. When we get around people and it’s like you can’t stand the sight of me.”

He takes a step towards you again.

“I wanna know where I stand with you.” You say shyly.

He swallows hard, “This is the second time you’ve been hurt on my watch.” His face was pained as he looked at your wound.

You reach out for his hand instinctively, trying to show him that it’s not his fault. When your hand grasps his, he gently pulls you into him, playing with your fingers for a moment.

“I don’t know how to stay away from you. I’m trying, Doll. Really I am. Every time you’re around me you’re in danger and this,” he gestured to you shoulder, “This just proves it.”

He’s holding your hand with both of his now, “I want to keep you safe.”

“I’m okay, Bucky. I promise.” Is all you can say.

A breath of laughter leaves his lips, “You’re always okay, aren’t you?”

You smile, and nod. “I am...but I’m better when you’re around. Like this,—this feels...”

Bucky held you closer, encroaching your small frame with his. He’s mere inches from you now.

“It feels right, Buck.” You say, look up at him through your lashes.

He drops your hands gently, and cups your cheek with his right, holding your waist with his cool left one.

He swallows hard as he presses his forehead to yours, “I know it does, Doll. I know.”

You’re gripping his arms as he holds you. His eyes closed, breathing deeply. 

“What are you doing to me, Ella?” He whispered so low, if he wasn’t holding you, you wouldn’t have heard it.

A small smile graced your lips, “I could ask you the same thing, Sarge.”

Bucky holds you like that for a moment or two, before he gently lets you go and takes a step backward. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

He sighed thoughtfully, “Don’t think because you’re injured it excuses you from training. You may not be able to do hand to hand combat, but we will train your non-dominant arm to do everything your dominant one can.”

Ah, there he is. Reminding you once again that he is your commanding officer and you are his...burden.

Despite his words, a smile graced your face. “Y-you’re training me?”

He nods, and you notice the corners of his mouth turn up. “Yes. At least that way I’ll be able to keep an eye on you, and try and get some of Sam’s sloppy habits outta your head.”

“What time?” You ask happily.

He looks at you. His cerulean eyes mapping your shoulder up to your face. He reaches out and strokes your cheek with a smile, “7 A.M. Not a minute later.”

You stand from the edge of your bed, “Sir yes Sir.”

“Goodnight, Els.” He whispered.

You smiled softly, “G’night, Buck.”

That night, you had the best sleep you’ve had since being here.

...and so did Bucky.

Chapter Seven: Left

[theskyequakess]

The hot pink tutu warrior

Characters: Maria Hill x Steve Rogers

Author’s note: 

I do not own any of these characters.

English isn't my first language so it is most likely you will find a couple of mistakes, feel free to let me know it! I saw a list of baby/pregnancy prompts and I wanted to try something I've had in my mind.

you can read it in AO3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/23347417 

---

It was almost 4 o'clock and she was supposed to be there 10 minutes ago, but as usual: dammed work came in her way.

It would usually take Maria around 20 minutes to get there, but since she was already late, she took advantage of her skills and… well, she made it there in only 12 minutes.

She ran, faster than what those heels could let her, but she finally was there. Then she walked through the people, quickly trying to find the blonde head she was looking for. Of course, he was in the front row with a seat next to him saved for her.

"I thought you were gonna miss it" he exclaimed as soon as Maria sat down.

The lights were already out, the audience quiet and the most childish song was starting to play as the first line of little humans were coming to the stage.

"I'd never do it"

And there she was: fourth in the line, the shortest one with blonde hair tied up in two little pigtails and a hot pink tutu as bigger as the smile in her tiny face. Ella Grace Hill.

Maria Hill and Steve Rogers had come to watch her daughter's first ballet recital.

"She has grown so much, it's hard to believe how little she used to be" Maria whispered with her voice strained.

"It's because Ellie is a warrior, just like her mom" Steve reassured her by grabbing her hand and squeezing it firmly.

Little Ellie —as everybody called her— has gotten her nickname for more than being the youngest and littlest member of the family.

She was a preemie, born to soon at only 29 weeks.

Her birth had been one of the most dangerous and scariest situations both her parents had to encounter: for Maria reliving the tragic memory of her mom dying at her own birth—although she did not remember it, her father made sure that she would never forget it. And for Steve not knowing if her wife and daughter would survive this.

Against their parents’ wishes, an emergency c-section brought her to this world. It was too soon. Too dangerous. But the lives of Ellie and Maria were at risk: Steve could have lost both that night.

But it not ended there, it was just the beginning of a long and hard fight. Maria will never forget the sight of the littlest baby she had ever seen covered in wires, tubes and noisy machines all over the place.

So fragile.

Her daughter.

The tiniest little human, not even a day-old fighting for her life.

Her daughter. Ellie.

The diagnosis was terrible. The days were long but the nights longer, toughest, endless. The fear of losing her without having the chance to hold her. The fear of calling her “my daughter” because she wasn't sure if Ellie was hers. Theirs.

So many days passed by, so many emotions, so many moments where everything seemed lost.

Maria Hill hadn’t felt that powerless in her entire life. She was used to be fierce, brave, unstoppable, fearless… hard. Always ready to defend or to attack if needed, to give orders, to plan, oh, how great she was to scold. But all the training in the world wouldn't ever prepared her for this —that was her baby, her own child lying there alone and defenseless. What was she supposed to do?

Wait. That was all she could do.

Fucking wait.

Quietly collapse every time she watched how the little lungs of her daughter were losing the battle.

Sob quietly as her little baby battled every milestone that was supposed to be granted when you are a full-term baby. But that wasn’t the case of her little Ellie.

She had failed Ellie. Her body had failed herself and to her own baby. To cake care, to protect: that was a mother’s job. And she had failed to that very own task. What in Earth was she thinking when she thought that she could be a mother? She could protect the city, the country oh damn it, even the world… but she had failed to her own daughter. She was no mother.

She had ruined the life of her daughter, when she wasn’t even born.

Just how Maria had ruined her mother’s life when she wasn’t even born yet.

“Ah irony, you are one sick bitch” she let out as she watched Ellie through the glass.

“It’s not your fault” a hand squeezed her shoulder.

Maria turned, even when she didn’t have to, because she knew whose hand was that, and that voice too. It was Steve’s.

“It was my body the one who couldn’t hold it anymore”

Steve looked at Maria. He saw those pronounced dark circles under her sad gaze, that was the only physical mark that showed the terror she was living: tiredness, concern, fear. Pain. It hurt his heart to see her like that.

“But it wasn’t your—” he tried again.

“It was!” she exploded. “It was my fault Steve, it was… I should have… I should’ve—”

“It wasn’t. You did what you could, since the moment you knew about her existence, you did not other thing but protect her. I had never seen you like when you were pregnant. You were cautious with work, you ate healthy, rested, slept the average amount of time” he huffed. “Oh hell, you even stopped drinking coffee even if it was the most difficult task you ever encounter”

Steve swears that a small smile appeared on Maria's face.

“That little girl there —our daughter.” He pointed through the glass. “She’s so lucky to have you as her mother.”

“Oh, for fucks sake Steve, I’m not a mother, you can’t be one when all you do is harm your own child”

“Listen to me” he took her by the shoulders and said firmly. “Ella Grace Hill is the luckiest baby girl in the world because she has Maria Hill as her mother. The bravest, toughest and most stubborn woman that ever existed, who would never stop fighting for her daughter, who would always protect her and support her no matter what. And you want to know how I know that?”

“How?”

“Because I married that woman.”

She scoffed.

“You are such an idiot��� she hit him in the chest.

“Oh, you know what? Maybe you’re right after all and she’s isn’t the luckiest, maybe I am, because I have you both.”

Maria rolled her eyes.

“Seriously Steve you are—”

“The luckiest? Say it.” He interrupted.

She let out a loud sigh.

“Trust me Maria, she will get through this.” Steve continued.

“How are you so sure?”

“Because she's your daughter…”

“She's yours too just so you know" Maria snorted.

“Oh, shut up. Let me finish. She’s strong and won't stop fighting, because she’s a warrior just as her mom. And God help us, because having two Hill women in the same planet? Damn. She’s gonna wreak havoc, just wait for it”

 * * *

 And so it was. Four and a half years later, they are sitting side by side: watching their little warrior dance around with her hot pink tutu. That tiny 1lb 9oz and 13 inches preemie that no one knew if she would ever make it, was now standing in a scenario dancing and jumping in her little toes. That fragile baby who once had her little face cover by tubes of oxygen, now had her face covered with the happiest and most beautiful smile.

Who would've thought that one day Maria Hill —former deputy of S.H.I.E.L.D. would be sitting down in a ballet recital? Nobody. Even though if she ever had a kid, most people would have thought that this kid would be living the military life: strict rules, hard trainings, knowing how to shoot before even walking…

But not, this kid was Maria's damnation.

If Ellie would ever ask her for a pony, Maria would buy her the entire farm. And Steve? Oh, he would build it nail by nail.

That’s why when Ellie showed interest and asked her parents if she could attend the ballet classes of her school, there was no way for them —nor they had the heart– to say no to her.

 * * *

 “Mommy!! Daddy!!” the kid ran towards them, with her arms wide open.

They could see that hot pink tutu from anywhere.

Little Ellie —nor those strangers who looked at them weirdly— would never understand what hid behind the tears that fell off the cheeks of Maria Hill and Steve Rogers.

“You liked me?” Ellie asked as she hugged them by the legs.

“Oh baby, you were perfect!” Maria answered while lifting Ellie and hugging her.

“Mommy, I’m not a baby anymore, I’m grown!”

Steve grinned at Maria.

“Of course you are” Maria said while she smiled and kissed her forever-baby-warrior in the forehead.

[clownsgobeepbeep]

Underland

And now...part 12 of my story! Gosh, everything is taking me too long but I’m at least halfway-ish done ^^’ Warning...this is long...as always

And if anything seems off...sorry but I read through it fast because I wanted to post this asap

Tagging @grotesquegabby and @post-itpenny because some of your characters are here uwu

“Is it Halloween?

“Nope.”

“Halloween II?”

“No.”

“Halloween III?”

“No!”

“Tell me what movie it is then.”

“IT!”

“IT? But how? You must have cheated.”

“I didn’t cheat.”

Far away from the world, yet ever so close to it, was a hole. A hole that was so very dark, yet it seemed that there was a light shining on those who resided in it against their will.

“Maybe you’re just not good at this game.”

“Flora, that hurts.”

There was a group of five in the hole; a single one stood with her back turned to the rest who sat on what was the ground of this hole, one of these laying on the lap of another.

“Sorry.” the youngest of the group slightly shrugged. “But what made you think that my hints were about Halloween?”

“Well, you mentioned a clown. So I remembered when he dressed as a clown.”

“But he uses a kitchen knife, not a balloon.” the girl continued. “Pennywise has balloons. Colorful ones in the 1980’s series and red ones in the 2017 movie.”

“Oh, I see. And the 2017 version is where it has teeth like Alex, right?”

“Yup.” she nodded, then looking down at her brother who’s eyes were shut as his breathing was finally steady.

“Jelly.” called out the one who was standing. “How is he?”

“His breathing’s fine for now; he’s finally resting.” Jelly ran a hand through the boy’s hair, then adjusting her and his positions so that he was closer to her chest. “I’m just…”

The woman looked over at Flora, looking at her face that slowly lost the comfort Jelly had worked so hard on building. It made her chest hurt, especially as the boy on her lap squeezed one of Jelly’s hands as tightly as he could, which was not tight at all.

“I can tell he’s going to get better.” Jelly then reached up to stroke Flora’s hair, feeling as the girl leaned into her touch. “Flora, make me guess another movie. But don’t cheat this time.”

“I wasn’t cheating!” Flora exclaimed in a whisper before scooting closer towards Jelly, leaning her head against her. “You’re the one cheating Mama Jelly.”

“I am n…” Jelly’s smile faltered before she looked at Flora who realized her mistake, then turning up to look at Jelly as neither noticed the others also stare.

“I’m sorry, I-”

“I guess I was right.” Jelly interrupted before bringing Flora into a hug. “You act just like a D’Vitt and have both of your parents’ looks. Mostly your father’s.”

“Mommy says me and Basil have his scowl.” Flora quietly giggled. “And my manager said it was perfect for my next movie. Did I tell you that I’ll be starring in the Orphan remake?”

“You didn’t.” Jelly smiled warmly before planting a kiss on Flora’s hair. “I’m proud of you, and Basil. Proud to call you my grandchildren, even though I made Ula promise to not make me a grandmother! I need to have a serious conversation with that girl.”

“I mean,” Flora started before her smile fell into a saddened expression. “It doesn’t really matter. At least not with us, with our father.”

“What do you mean?”

“The mime killed him.”

In that moment, there was a dead silence as everybody stared at Flora in total disbelief. 

She turned to the side where the mime’s sister sat, her back facing the group but her head now turned to them as she heard the latest of her sister’s doings. 

Arabella could only stare in silence, then turning away from the others again in total shame.

“That...he can’t be. The both of you are still here-”

“Basil’s withering first because he’s the first born.” Flora brought her knees up to her chest before she wrapped her arms around them and placed her head on top. “Once he’s done, I’m next. And then that universe which died the moment my daddy did. Cantarella and Ryder just made sure to make it painfully slow in this pocket dimension.”

“Um...Flora?”

“Yes?”

“How about you tell me how Schrader proposed to my little oyster, hm?”

“Oh. Okay.”

From afar, Velvet gave a sigh at those words before placing a finger on her temple. This dimension took away everybody’s powers, but that was not going to stop her from attempting to do something.

_____________

“Where in the world could that stupid bitch be?” 

Cantarella cursed to herself as she stormed through the woods. She was angry at herself for not having caught that stupid crow. But was it really her fault? It was her stupid father’s fault the crow got away and no doubt talked to Sionis. That was why she visited the house.

“Fucking hell!” she yelled out before kicking her heel into a tree and injuring it rather deeply. “Where the fuck is Evie…”

Finally, the girl found herself in the outskirts just outside of Cuckoo’s circus where she knew her ‘sister’ or whatever was found. So Cantarella carefully made her way into the circus, making sure that nobody saw her slip in and sneak around.

“E-Ella?”

Or not.

Cantarella turned on her heel to look at the owner of the familiar voice, her eyes landing on Bubbles.

“Bubs,” she approached the red head before taking hold of her hands. “What are you doing here?”

“I...I’ve been worried about you.” Bubbles replied before returning to squeeze Cantarella gave her, but Bubbles pulled herself away in the moment. “Um...I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.” Cantarella shrugged before letting go of Bubbles. “It’s not every day your girlfriend is inside your cousin’s body. Speaking of, I still am not used to Ula’s height. It’s actually annoying being this short.”

“Well, it’s not her fault.” Bubbles turned away. “It was that Ryder guy’s. I don’t think you would have liked him.”

“And why not?” Cantarella raised an eyebrow at Bubbles who gave a shrug of her own. “Well, anyways. You haven’t told anyone about this, right?”

“Of course not.” Bubbles rapidly shook her head. “I swear nobody knows, n-not even Jeff!”

“Good.” Cantarella nodded. “Because if you tell anybody, they’ll go back to paying attention to Ula, and you wouldn’t want that, right?”

“R-right…” Bubbles whispered with a small nod. “But...when is all of this going to end? Because…Ama’s suspecting something.”

“What?”

“I haven’t spoken to her, but she came to me. She knows something’s not right. You need to be careful if she comes around.”

“Don’t worry, I will be.” Cantarella stated before placing a hand on Bubbles’ cheek. “Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s some business I must attend to.”

“Oh. O-Okay.”

“I’ll make sure to talk to you later, got it?”

“Got it.” Bubbles nodded before walking by Cantarella who stood in place.

“You can come out now.” Cantarella rolled her eyes to the side, watching as her father walked out of the shadows whilst still keeping a close eye on Bubbles who never noticed him. “What are you doing here?”

“Check up, darling.” Ryder picked something from under his nails before glancing over at his daughter. “What have you been up to lately?”

“Fucking shit up of course.” she rolled her eyes again. “Right now, deer boy’s bound to be moping because I told him to his face that Schrader was a better boyfriend.”

“Hm, not bad. Should have mentioned something about the s-”

“I’m saving that for another blow. I’m not done pulling his antlers out just yet.” Cantarella interrupted. “I know what I’m doing, do you?”

“Do not speak to me in such a way.” Ryder furrowed his eyebrows angrily at Cantarella who scoffed with a cross of her arms. “You’re good at what you do thanks to me. I showed you all you needed to know before you were taken out of that dimension! I’m the reason you and your sister weren’t killed!”

“Well I don’t give a shit, Ryder!”

“Keep it down!” Ryder waved a hand at Cantarella who felt her lips be sealed shut, so she reached up to attempt to pry them open but only fail. “The others are going to hear us!”

Ryder brought a hand up to his forehead, massaging it before giving a sigh.

“Look,” he waved his hand back at Cantarella who was finally able to open her mouth. “What of the crow? Or just anybody else.”

“I’m pretty sure we’re screwed.” Cantarella muttered out. “Zeta went looking for me at your girlfriend’s place.”

“So she knows.” Ryder nodded before bringing both of his hands to his head. “It doesn’t matter, Risus can deal with her. In the meantime, I need you to keep....doing as you do.  I need to go visit Jelly, and that green thing.”

“What about their offspring?”

“I’ll find them, but won’t kill them yet.” Ryder started to walk away.”If anything happens with Jelly or the green thing, we’ll always have a way to make them do as we want.”

“If I remember correctly, that didn’t work last time.” Cantarella commented with a laugh. “Didn’t you get your ass beat after Jelly cried to you and said she’d leave Lennie for you? And then, oh I don’t know, you got locked in that dimension that you just got out of after about ten years?”

“You really know how to talk.” Ryder snarled at Cantarella before finally leaving, especially after she gave him a sweet smile. 

“So! Where exactly is it that you’ll be going to?”

“Must check on the other Cundolilli. Can’t have them taking that or the other position.”

What neither of them knew, however, was that a pair of green eyes watched and heard every word exchanged by the two.

_____________

It was obvious that something was wrong.

Ula would have never cursed at him in such a way, no matter how angry she was at him or anyone.

It really did hurt when she said those final words to him, but something inside Atlas knew that Ula would have never thought or said such a thing.

“She really said that to you?”

“...yeah.” Atlas sighed before taking the cup of soda he had been offered, his eyes looking down as he took a sip from the cup. “I don’t know what got into her, but I’m just really confused after everything.”

“What else did she say about Schrader?” asked his cousin who sat on one of the bar seats next to Atlas, Cosmos standing on the opposite side as the couple attempted to comfort Atlas.

“That he left. Yet another thing I still don’t understand.” Atlas removed his glasses for a moment, setting them down to rub his eyes. “Like, he left without a word after the party.”

“How was Ula feeling about that?” Cosmos leaned on the counter in uncertainty.

“She’s the one who told me about it, and she didn’t seem torn up or anything.”

“That’s just weird.” Vespers slightly shook his head. “Wouldn’t he have at least said goodbye?”

“That’s what I was thinking.” Atlas nodded before giving a shrug. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Did you try calling her band friends?” Vespers suggested.

“Dante’s still pretty pissed at me. Robyn and Rayden...they seemed off.” Atlas groaned. “I even have Schrader’s number, tried checking up on him. He didn’t answer. What am I supposed to do?”

“Well, talking to Ula again is the obvious option.” Cosmos placed a hand on Atlas’ shoulder. “But, just let yourself relax for a bit. Things have been tough for the both of you lately; you guys are still young and will work it out. I swear.”

“Yeah.” Vespers nodded as he also placed a hand on Atlas’ other shoulder. “You guys are best friends. Not even distance broke the two of you apart, and I don’t want to believe that an old flame or any other problem will do that.”

“Exactly.” Cosmos attempted to give Atlas a comforting smile. “You two’ll end up having little baby deers in the future when you finally have the chance of relaxation.”

“Cosmos!”

“What?” Cosmos quietly chuckled to himself, glancing at Atlas who felt his face heat up despite his troubles. “Jelly’s gonna be pissed because she’s gonna be a grandma some day. Says it’ll make her feel old.”

“Alright, enough with that kind of talk.” Vespers motioned to his husband, the two continuing to talk among each other as Atlas only stared at the bubbles inside his drink before he gave another sigh.

“Atlas?”

Cosmos and Vespers soon stopped talking before they looked behind Atlas where they found Ama with a look of concern.

“Hey Ama.” the couple waved at her before she waved back.

“Could I steal Atlas for a bit?” Ama gave a small smile before the men nodded.

“Sure.”

“In fact, I need to go check the bowling alley.” Cosmos hopped over the counter. “You coming Moth Man?”

“Yeah.” Vespers followed behind Cosmos, leaving the friends alone.

“How have you been?” Ama sat next to Atlas who turned to her with a long face. “Have you talked to Ula or Schrader recently?”

“To Ula I have.” he replied before taking another sip of his soda.”Schrader. Haven’t you heard?”

“That he’s gone? Yeah. My uncle Lennie got a call from aunt Jelly.” Ama released a deep breath. “Have you also been feeling the bad vibes lately?”

“Bad vibes?”

“Like something’s off.” Ama claimed before leaning in closer towards Atlas. “Ula’s off, Schrader’s off, and so is Bubbles.”

“Ula I knew that after the ‘date’ we had earlier today. But Bubbles?” Atlas lifted his head to squint at Ama. “What’s wrong with her?”

“I can’t tell yet.” Ama clenched her fists on the counter. “But I just know something’s not right. She was acting strangely when I went to go talk to her today, even knew before me that Schrader left.”

“I thought she didn’t care about Schrader?”

“Same here.” Ama nodded before turning to the side, looking around the area as she felt as they were being watched. “Haven’t even heard anything from the band guys, or the twin sisters. None of them answer to any of my texts or calls.”

“That’s weird. Dante answered to one of my calls, but he answered pretty angrily.” Atlas added before looking back at his soda. “And as of right now, I have no idea where Ula is.”

“Great.” Ama spun in her seat before leaning back and placing her arms on the counter, her body slouching while she scanned the building belonging to Cosmos. “I’m gonna try to call her later again.”

“Don’t bother, she seemed mad when she left me.”

“Why’d she get mad?”

“Because...I...it doesn’t matter.”

“Well, how mad was she?”

“Cursed a lot at me. Said some things I’d rather not remember.”

“Oh, wow. Sorry about that.” Ama’s eyes darted to the booths in front of the bar, then spotting a man who sat alone in one. At first it didn’t really matter to Ama, until the man turned to her and motioned that she go over to him.

“Weird.”

“What?”

“The guy over there is telling me to go with him. Do I know him?” Ama blinked as Atlas turned to look at the booth Ama had been eyeing.

“What guy?”

“The one sitting alone.”

“I don’t know which one you’re talking about. I don’t see anybody sitting alone, save for that guy who I’m pretty sure came in with his girlfriend and is not telling you to go over.”

“Not that one.” Ama shook her head before motioning to the man who gave a sigh. “That one.”

“Ama, I seriously don’t see anyone!”

“The guy with the blue eyes and really nice black hair!” Ama exclaimed at Atlas who blinked at her.

“You wouldn’t be talking about Schrader, would you?” Atlas now squinted his eyes at Ama, the latter soon coming to two realizations.

“Wait.” she hopped down from her seat as she now considered that this was a deceased person. “That guy...strangely does look a lot like Schrader.”

_____________

Evie couldn’t remember the last time she was treated this majestically. Oh wait, she could.

The clown snickered to herself at the memory of James. He was nice, so polite and charming, a great husband. Well, Evie didn’t care about all of that. James was an idiot who couldn’t think straight. Even now he couldn’t.

“But not my Cuckoo.”

“Did you call, love?” 

“Oh, no.” Evie shook her head, slightly waving her hand at Cuckoo who was beside a table serving glasses of wine. “I was only thinking to myself.”

“About what?” Cuckoo smiled before approaching Evie, sitting on the bed she already sat on before handing her a glass of wine.

“You.” Evie shrugged before scooting closer towards Cuckoo, her face quite near their own as she sniffed the air. That was when Evie scrunched up her nose once she got a full scent of the tent the pair currently resided in.

“Cuckoo?”

“Yes?”

“It smells awful in here.” Evie commented before she handed her glass back to Cuckoo, the latter taking it before standing up to place the glasses elsewhere.

“I shall attempt to fix-”

“Oh no, no, no.” Evie motioned for Cuckoo to come back, so they did just that before feeling Evie hold their hands. “I think, I have a way the two of us could fix it.~”

“How so?” Cuckoo perked up before slightly gasping once Evie pulled them on top of her figure that lay on the bed, Cuckoo holding themselves up as they stared down at her with blue cheeks. 

“I’m not interrupting anything,” came a voice which made Evie and Cuckoo turn to the open path where they saw Ula casually walk in with a bit of a smirk “Right?”

“You bitch.” Evie murmured under her breath as Cuckoo brought themselves off of her and the bed, fixing their outfit once standing.

“Ula, hello! I was not expecting to see you here.” Cuckoo greeted warmly as Evie presented her middle finger to ‘Ula’ behind their back.

“Cuckoo, hi. Could I steal Evie for a bit?” Cantarella innocently fluttered her eyelashes at Cuckoo who nodded.

“Of course, I shall leave the two of you to discuss as you wish.” Cuckoo then excused themselves out of the tent, leaving the girls alone.

“What are you doing here?” Evie spat out as she got off the bed, walking towards Cantarella who stretched her arms out with a yawn.

“Just came to check on you, but also warn you.”

“Warn me? About what, the mate?”

“No, just that you’re such a whore.” Cantarella rolled her eyes. “Yes, of course about the mate! But also damn Zeta!”

“You’re really going to stand there and call me a whore?” Evie scoffed with a twirl of her hair. “Speak for yourself.”

“Unlike you,I’ve only ever had one beau.” 

“And how’s that going for you?”Evie continued before laughing to herself. “Not like you care about her.”

At this, Cantarella kept quiet for a moment before shaking her head and punching Evie’s arm.

“What was-”

“I’m serious about Zeta. She knows who I am; she literally went to Jelly’s house to find me.”

“So run bitch.” Evie now was the one to roll her eyes. “She knows what’s the deal with me but won’t do shit. No matter what she or Calli-ho do, Cuckoo’s bound to be against them.”

“Running’s not an option.” Cantarella hissed with a stomp of her heel. “Besides, I need to-”

Cantarella was immediately stopped once she turned on her heel, not being able to speak due to the new choking sensation she felt. In fact, it was not a sensation but instead an actual feeling, a very strong feeling as a hand tightly grasped Cantarella’s neck.

“E-vie!” she gasped out before realizing what the new situation was, eyes widening upon the sight of Zeta who squeezed her hand even tighter.

“Cuc-!”Evie began, then feeling as something pushed her back rather roughly. She fell to the ground with such impact that she was forced to stay there a while, eventually lifting her head to see Zeta keeping her hold on the shorter clown.

“I-I’ll call Cuckoo!”

“No, you won’t, nor will you go near them.” Zeta stated before waving her hand at Evie who then felt as her lips were shut. “Now run off before I beat you.”

With a shaky nod, Evie scrambled up onto her feet before making her way out in a rush.

Zeta then turned her attention to Cantarella who’s eyes widened once she looked into Zeta’s furious eyes.

_____________

At first, things had felt like they were perfectly fine.

His daughter looked cheery despite the strange yet saddening news concerning her former steady. His wife called him and she seemed like she was alright. 

But according to the phone call he received from Zeta, things were not perfectly fine, let alone okay.

Lennie gave a bit of a sigh as he made through the path leading to the circus, which was where Zeta had told him to meet her. He was told they needed to have a serious talk, that there were dangers lurking around and very near his family.

“A dead guy told you to come here?”

The clown eyed the area in front of him, hearing a conversation between the pair that eventually appeared in his line of sight.

“Yeah; he said it was urgent.”

“And this guy...looked a lot like Schrader?”

“Yup. A very lot.”

“What else did he say?”

“He did mention Schrader.”

“Ama?” Lennie called out to the pair who stopped to turn and look at him. “Atlas? What are you guys doing here?”

“Oh! Well…” Ama attempted to come up with some kind of answer.

“You guys mentioned Schrader?” Lennie finally reached the two who stared down at him, both still trying to come up with something as to not worry Lennie.

“Kind of.” Atlas nodded a bit. “Ama suggested we come to the circus.”

“What was this talk about a dead guy?” Lennie blinked, Ama finally gaining the courage to tell him the reason for them being there.

“Look, uncle-” Ama stopped herself once an ear piercing scream sounded loud enough to make birds fly out of the trees.

“Oh shit.” Lennie marveled, stepping away from the friends to look over at the circus that was just a few yards away. “That...that sounds like…

“Ula.” Atlas realized before immediately making his way out of the scene and towards the location of where another scream was heard.

“Atlas,wait!” Ama ran after him, leaving Lennie to once again try to catch up. 

“St-!” they heard Ula choke out, right before Atlas skidded to a stop once he found himself in front of the tent belonging to the ringleader. 

Atlas heard Ula continue to choke sounds and words, right until he witnessed Ula be tossed onto the ground before Zeta stepped out of the tent with a deeper glare than usual. His eyes widening as Ula attempted to drag herself away from Zeta in a state of distress.

“A-anyone! Help!” Ula cried out as she dug her nails into the ground, continuing to drag herself before her ankle was grabbed and she was forcibly rolled over. “Stop!”

“Keep crying, nobody’s going to do anything about it.” Zeta fumed as she set one of her heels on Ula’s chest, digging in deep which made the girl yelp with pain while trying to remove Zeta.

“Zeta!” Atlas yelled at the woman who turned to him, heel digging deeper into Ula who reached a hand above her head towards Atlas.

“What the hell are you doing?” now came Lennie who frowned at the sight, stepping towards Zeta who lifted a finger up to him. “Zeta!”

“D...Dad!” Ula begged as Zeta reached down to grab her by the collar. “Dad, please!”

“Zeta, put her down dammit!” Lennie demanded as he clenched his fists, attempting to contain himself in that moment.

“I will not.” Zeta replied as she gripped onto Ula’s collar before she looked at Lennie. “Where is your wife?”

“What does-”

“Where is your wife?”

“She’s on a business trip.” Lennie gave in.

“Does she have her phone?”

“Of course she does.”

“Are you sure?” Zeta gave Lennie a look, making him and the friends watch Zeta strangely as she reached into Ula’s pocket. “Call her right now.”

“Why-” Lennie began, but Zeta’s look was enough to have him pulling out his phone before he called Jelly’s phone. Right then, his eyes widened once he heard Jelly’s ringtone come from Zeta’s hand.

“Answer.” Zeta commanded Ula to do before the blonde turned to Lennie with a pleading look in her eyes. “Now.”

“Hi Sharky,” Ula started as she spoke in Jelly’s voice. “How are you Lennie?”

“What…?” Lennie blinked in confusion. “What’s-”

“I don’t want to be giving anymore bad news and I wouldn’t want to waste your time with Billy.” Ula continued which made Lennie’s eyes widen. “I know, but I also need some nap time Sharky. I have another meeting in the morning and I want to go buy some souvenirs for all of you once I’m done.”

“Ula...why…” Lennie shook his head upon the realization that these were words he heard in his phone call with Jelly...or who he thought was Jelly.

“Lennie.” Zeta grabbed his attention. “Jelly is not on a business trip.”

“Where is she?” Lennie now glared at Ula, though his glare softened when he looked at his daughter. “Ula...where’s your mom?”

“And this is not Ula.” Zeta added before bringing the girl closer to her face. “Right Cantarella?”

“Cantarella?” Ama now spoke as she blinked with a shake of her head.

“Wait, you mean...Bubbles’ girlfriend?That can’t be.” Atlas took a step forward. “How is-”

“I am pretty sure you all remember Ryder.” Zeta interrupted before everybody’s eyes widened.

“What does this have to do with….” Ama soon witnessed the ghost from before, seeing as he tapped the corner of his eye. “Ula…?”

Ama then approached Ula who had no way of reacting due to Zeta’s hold, so Ama looked into Ula’s hazel eyes, a detail she was surprised to have never noticed.

“Show me your real eyes.”

Ula stared at Ama before her eyes darted over to Zeta; when she finally looked at Ama again, Ula blinked her eyes a few times before they turned into a pink color. 

Memories of the younger years came to Ama once she remembered where she had seen that exact pink in somebody’s eyes, then seeing as Ula gave a laugh.

“I have my father’s eyes, don’t I?” she cackled out before a punch was thrown her way.

“Where the fuck is Ula!?” Ama shouted at the girl who blinked away the pain.

“Where is my wife?” Lennie now questioned as he walked towards the three, Atlas following behind as he also felt an anger boil in him. “Where’s Jelly!?”

“I don’t know.” Cantarella smirked at Lennie. “Perhaps you should ask Ryder.”

“Ryder!?” Lennie stomped.

“I let him out.” Ula giggled to herself. “Pretty sure you can tell just who it is he went to first.”

“You…!” Lennie further clenched his fists before he immediately shifted into his monstrous self, grabbing and snatching Cantarella away from Zeta before bringing her close to his face.

“Oh my fuck!” Ula burst out with laughter. “Even in your true form are you short! My father is taller than you as a shadow, even in James’ body!”

“Wait, Lennie wait!” Atlas placed a hand on Lennie who snarled in response. “If this is a situation like Ryder and James…”

“So, you actually are smart.” Cantarella nodded quite impressed. “You know you can’t kill or exactly hurt me.”

Atlas nodded at the girl before stepping closer towards her, glaring deeply at her malevolent grin.

“Ula’s been here the entire time.” Atlas told. 

“She sure has; I’m just the little voice inside her head, lulling her to sleep into Wonderland.” Cantarella fluttered Ula’s eyelashes at Atlas who grit his teeth. “Wouldn’t want to hurt your tiny girlfriend.~”

“Don’t worry, he won’t.” Zeta grabbed Cantarella’s chin, forcing her to look at her. “But I will.”

Cantarella’s eyes widened right at that moment, her vision becoming nothing but darkness once Zeta delivered a powerful punch.

_____________

The sound of a scream pierced the air, startling all of those who were around.

“Are you alright?”

“Who, me?”

The young blonde known as Cordelia lay on the ground of her aunt Tilde’s home, giving a shrug before replying again.

“I’m fine.” she smiled before picking up the crayon she had been previously using to color with, then resuming her activity while her legs swung in the air. “Are there any more cookies?”

“Just a few more. I have another batch in the oven.” Tilde leaned down to pet Cordelia’s head, then turning to the side where the sound of continuous footsteps was heard. “Davey, do you need anything?”

Cordelia also looked to the side where she found her brother pacing back and forth, the axolotl family who was also brought with them watching Davey as well. Maybe he was a little more stressed due to the fact that Schrader’s crow friend flew away to an unknown location.

“Davey?” Cordelia called out to him, her eyes landing on his arm that he unknowingly scratched.

All kinds of thoughts raced through Davey’s mind, his pacing never ending as he was oblivious to everybody’s stares. He mumbled some things to himself, anxiety getting the best of him until he finally stopped walking.

Looking down at his arm, Davey felt a pain in it due to his scratching that made him snap out of his thoughts.

“Davey?” Tilde attempted to grab his attention again, finally having the boy turn to her.

“Does Ula actually hate me?” Davey blurted out, feeling as if he had still been talking to himself in his mind. “The not real Ula said she did, but does-”

“Davey.” Tilde interrupted as she approached the little clown, bringing him into a comforting hug that Davey did not return just yet. “Your sister doesn’t hate you.”

Davey blinked to himself before being released by Tilde, so he made his way over to the couch behind his sister. Behind him came Mana and Kala, the latter hopping onto the couch before placing her head on Davey’s lap while Mana lay at his feet.

“When is she gonna come back?” Davey muttered to himself, then feeling Kala nudge his hand with her head which he promptly petted.

But then, there was the sound of knocking at the front door which made all of the axolotls lift their head in alert almost instantly, the puppies barking loudly before running around as Mana attempted to put them at ease.

“Stay there kids.” Tilde told the siblings as she made her way over to the door, making sure to follow as Zeta asked and keep the children safe. Not like she needed to be told of course.

“I wonder who it is.” Cordelia bit into one of her cookies while keeping her eyes on her paper. “Maybe it’s Zeta.”

“Maybe.” Davey continued to pet Kala’s head after she grunted to the puppies so that they would calm down, all cuddling with Cordelia while Mana went back to his original spot.

“Oh, James! Hi!” Tilde was heard greeting the new guest, right before Davey and Cordelia turned to look as footsteps were once again heard.

“How have things been, Miss Tilde?” James questioned as he was now in the line of sight of the siblings, looking down at them with a soft smile. “Oh, hello there children. I never expected you to be here.”

“Hi James!” Cordelia eagerly waved at James who waved back, then glancing over at Davey who felt as Kala pressed further into him.

“Hello, Davey.” James slightly bowed. “How do you do?”

“I’m fine I guess.” Davey shrugged before Tilde interrupted the small chat.

“So, what brings you around these parts?” Tilde asked before James turned to her.

“Jelly did not answer any of my phone calls today.” James replied. “I wanted to see if you perhaps had heard of her? Lennie spoke to her earlier today, but other than that, I have had no word of her.”

“She’s at a business thing far away.” Cordelia looked up from her paper. “She’s got meetings and stuff with important guys.”

“I understand that.” James chuckled to himself, then eyeing Mana who smiled at him with his tongue lolling out. However, James then took a step back he heard a growl come from Kala, the axolotl baring her teeth at him which made him place his hands behind his back.

“Is she alright?” James blinked at Kala before bringing a hand up to his hair, slicking it back for a moment which made Mana stand and growl as well.

“They’re probably tense because of what’s happening.” Tilde stepped in between James and the axolotls, neither noticing that Davey squinted his eyes at James.

“What has been going on?”

“Something with Ula.” Tilde whispered to James who gave her a look of concern.

“Is she alright?”

“I honestly don’t know the details.”

“I see.” James nodded before looking back at Davey and Cordelia, particularly Davey. “I will be making my way out now. I would like to no longer disturb you all.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Tilde offered, watching as James stepped closer towards Davey whilst ignoring the axolotls.

“And Davey,” he started before giving a smile, Davey blinking when he felt a shiver run down his spine...this smile was creepily odd. “I can not believe I never realized,”

“Realized what?” Davey then felt as James touch a lock of Davey’s hair.

“How awfully similar you look like your father.” James chuckled before backing away. “I will make my way out now, no need to come with Miss Tilde.”

“Okay, I’ll leave you be then.” Tilde nodded before feeling Mana and Kala stand at each of her sides, both frowning at James who finally left. “Well, kids-”

“We need to help.” Davey stood up before having Cordelia and Tilde look over at him.

“Excuse me?” Tilde raised an eyebrow.

“We need to help Ula.” Davey fixed his shirt before Cordelia followed and also stood up. “There was something wrong with James.”

“Yeah!” Cordelia nodded eagerly before Tilde shook her head.

“Whoa, kids. Wait.” Tilde lifted her hands as she walked towards the kids. “We’re not going anywhere. I promised Zeta-”

“Then we’ll go.” Davey stated which made Tilde shake her head again.

“I’m sorry, but no. Going out there is dangerous-”

“That wasn’t James who walked in here!” Davey pointed to the door. “That was Ryder, and he’s really bad!”

“Yeah!” Cordelia nodded again, not knowing exactly what was meant but she trusted him and needed to aid her older sister.

“Look, even if it was-” Tilde started, then seeing as Davey slammed a hand on the cookie plate which caused it to fall and spill cookies everywhere; this made the axolotls pups lift their heads in curiosity then jumping onto their feet before rushing over to the sweet treats. “Davey!”

“Sorry!” Davey exclaimed before grabbing Cordelia’s hand, then rushing away as their aunt attempted to keep the axolotls away from the cookies.

Meanwhile, Mana and Kala briefly motioned to each other before Mana rushed away and after the kids, Kala staying behind.

_____________

“How do we bring her back?”

Cantarella blinked her eyes open, squinting once a bright light hit her face.

“W...what?”

“How do we bring Ula back??”

She finally lifted her head up, being able to make out the shape belonging to Atlas who she was able to sense was more than just upset.

“Tell me.”

The girl furrowed her eyebrows before she tried to pull her arm in attempt to punch Atlas, yet she discovered that she could not. Cantarella glanced down at her arms, shaking herself as she realized that she was completely restricted and forced on a chair.

“Get me out of here.” she demanded before turning back to Atlas who had now leaned down and closer to Cantarella’s face. “Get me out of here you asshole!”

“I can’t believe I never saw this coming.” sounded another voice, so Cantarella turned to see that Atlas was not alone. With him were not only Zeta, Lennie, and Ama, but Maggie, Vespers, and Bubbles were now in the room.

“What an elder you are.” Cantarella commented to Maggie who in turn gave her a frown. “I was right under your nose the entire time.You didn’t expect me or the parents, huh?”

Maggie continued to glare at the girl before turning away as a feeling of disgust came to her, Atlas once again coming into Cantarella’s vision.

“Tell me how to bring Ula back.” Atlas grit his teeth in front of Cantarella who stuck her tongue out at him.

“Say the magic word and I’ll consider it.” she grinned innocently, right before receiving a punch that caught her off guard and off balance.

Cantarella fell sideways to the ground, quite forcefully as she realized that Ama was the one who had punched her.

“How do we get Ula back!?” Ama yelled at her before Zeta picked up the chair and set it straight.

“Let me go...and I’ll tell you.” Cantarella blinked away her throbbing pain before looking up at everybody who glared at  her.

“You know we’re not doing that until you bring my daughter back.” Lennie stormed over to Cantarella who scoffed.

“I already told you...she’s here.”

“The real Ula!” Atlas growled at her. “Get out of her!”

“Make me.” Cantarella then felt another punch from Ama, this time only causing her to spit out before clearing her throat. “What I meant to say was, you’re not getting your tiny clown back.”

“And why is that?” now Vespers spoke as he stepped towards Cantarella, making her give a laugh.

“Oh, the moth speaks. Better be careful not to have your wings ripped off.” she grinned at him. “Especially if there’s a fire beneath you.”

“You…” Vespers huffed, knowing very well just what she was referring to.

“Ula’s off in dreamland.” Cantarella cleared her throat. “Unlike James who was in the passenger seat as my father took over his body, Ula’s sound asleep. She doesn’t know her mind is somewhere else; she’s convinced she’s wide awake and in the reality of her dreams.”

She then glanced over at Atlas, giving him one of her best smirks.

“And you know what she thinks the best part of that other reality is, Atlas? That Schrader’s her boyfriend.”

“Shut up!” Atlas fumed before a hand was placed on his chest, then seeing as Maggie placed herself between Cantarella and Atlas.

“Speaking of Schrader.” Maggie started before leaning close to Cantarella. “Where is he?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Rumor has it that you spread the news, and that you were the one to last talk to him.”

“Sure I may have spread the news, but I wasn’t exactly the last one who saw Schrader.” Cantarella shrugged. “But you can believe me when I say that the ‘real’ Ula did talk to him, and that he did say he was leaving back to Australia because he’s got nothing to do here. Other than that, it’s none of my business.”

“So you’re saying that Schrader really did leave?” Maggie squinted at Cantarella who gave a nod. “As if I’m going to believe that.”

“Alright, alright. Ya got me.” the girl shrugged once again. “But the first parts are true. I just did him a favor.”

“What did you do to him?” Zeta was the one who now pressed, nobody noticing that Bubbles took a step back into the shadows.

“What always runs but never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a mouth but never eats?” Cantarella fluttered her eyelashes. “And can I just say that the sight of a head exploding is thrilling?”

“Lennie.” Zeta whispered to the short clown who turned to her. “I need to go somewhere.”

“Okay.” Lennie nodded, knowing that there was no need to be asking questions, especially with the current situation. He watched as Zeta slipped away and made her way out, so Lennie turned back to watch everybody else.

“Hey Atlas.”

“If it’s not about bringing the other’s back, don’t say another damn word.” Atlas hissed before turning along with Ama, both attempting to start a conversation.

“Well, it includes Ula.” Cantarella ignored his words. “And her dear loverboy Schrader.~”

“Whatever.”

“Did you know that after the party, they left together? Then he took her to the garage, gave her her fancy-smancy car before they drove to their favorite cliff.” Cantarella continued. “And you know what they did?”

Atlas also ignored Cantarella, shutting his eyes for a moment until she spoke up again.

“They kissed.” Cantarella grinned, easily able to tell that Atlas’ eyes shot open as Ama turned to Cantarella. “Makes sense, huh? They drive to their makeout cliff and decide to repeat history.”

“Atlas, don’t listen to her.” Ama attempted to help her friend, but Atlas turned around to once again glare at Cantarella.

“What do they call it, necking?” Cantarella laughed out as Atlas approached her. “But wait, wait, wait! You haven’t heard the best part! You could obviously never forget the infamous Basil and Flora, right?”

“You’re looking for a mind flaying.” Atlas threatened.

“Isn’t it weird that they appeared out of the blue, and then left after a certain school dance?” Cantarella snickered as Atlas leaned in closer. “But then, all of a sudden both they and Schrader appear?”

“What the fuck are you saying?”

“Basil and Flora,” Cantarella gave a giggle. “Are Ula and Schrader’s future kids.”

Atlas’ glare soon turned into the look of a deer in headlights one, but he furrowed his eyebrows once again whilst those behind him stared with wide eyes.

“Atlas-” Maggie reached out to Atlas who did not know how to react at that moment.

“Wonder why they’re still existing, huh? I mean, I don’t know either to be honest. But let’s say Schrader was around and Ula back-”

“Be quiet!” Vespers now stepped forwards.

“Ula dumps your miserable ass, goes back to her bubble butt musician. They get married,and-”

“Be quiet!” Vespers repeated before Cantarella laughed.

“No, wait! They get married, have a shit ton of kids, and Atlas...Atlas hooks up with some other pretty girl, right?” Cantarella eagerly nodded before turning to Maggie. “Right, Mrs. Blueblood?”

“What are you talking about?” Maggie blinked in anger.

“Oh, oh! You didn’t really think I wouldn’t know about that conversation you had with Atlas while he and Ula took a break, huh?” Cantarella giggled. “Because of that conversation, little ol’ deer boy thinks to himself that if Ula dumps him, he’ll always have some other bitch to run off to.”

“That is not true-”

“No need to worry when there’s a backup, right Atlas?” Cantarella fluttered her eyelashes at the boy. “I wonder how Ula would feel about that, knowing she could easily be replaced. Do you even care about her at all, Atlas? Are you just keeping her around-”

Cantarella was once again interrupted, but this time with a smack from Maggie.

“Shut the fuck up already.” Maggie leaned in dangerously close to Cantarella’s face. “You really know how to run your mouth, just like your disgusting parents. I don’t know how you know about those things, or how you’re talking, but-”

“She has Arabella’s voice.”

Everybody turned around and looked into the shadows, remembering that Bubbles was also in the room.

“She told me that this thing called Risus took out Arabella’s voice and gave it to her.” Bubbles cleared her throat.

“Risus?” Maggie’s eyes widened before she mentally hit herself. “Damn...dammit! How did I not see this coming!?”

“Oooooh.” Cantarella nodded as her smile now disappeared while she stared at Bubbles. “Switching sides now, are we Bubbles?”

“Wait, what?” Ama squinted at each of the girls before stopping at Bubbles. “Bubbles!”

“What’s Bubbles got to do with this?”Vespers’ frown deepened before Cantarella leaned to the side to get a closer look at Bubbles

“Bubbles loves to watch. Just watch and do nothing.” Cantarella huffed with a roll of her eyes. “How about you tell them Bubbles?”

“Tell us what?”

“Say it Bubbles.” Cantarella now was the one to grit her teeth. “Say it or I will.”

“Bubbles?”

“Look...i-it’s just that…” Bubbles gulped before she brought a nail to her mouth, chewing on it for a bit. “Y-you see…”

“Bubbles.” Ama urged on before Bubbles cleared her throat again.

“I...I may have...seen when Cantarella..um...she…”

“Hurt Schrader?”

“Hurt Ula?” now Atlas was the one who pressed. “And what exactly did you do about it?”

“That’s...that’s the thing.” Bubbles played with her thumbs. “I...um...I did...no...not…”

“Get out.” 

Bubbles timidly glanced over at Atlas who had to swallow his emotions.

“Bubbles, get out of here.”

The girl did as she was told, turning to dash away before she stopped in her tracks to prevent herself from bumping into the new guests. Bubbles gasped once she realized who these were, clasping a hand over her mouth when looking into the judgemental eyes belonging to Davey.

He stood next to his younger sister as well as Mana, all three staring up at Bubbles whilst Davey shook his head in disapproval.

Bubbles ran past all three of them and out of the room, right before Lennie approached his kids.

“What are you guys doing here?” he exclaimed in a whisper. “You were supposed to stay with your aunt Tilde!”

“We came to help.” Davey stated before Cordelia nodded.

“And if any danger comes, we’ll kick butt!” she grinned. “Plus, we have Mana.~”

Mana barked in response before looking over at Cantarella still tied up in her chair.

Cantarella looked at him, baring her teeth with a growl that made him react in the same way before furiously barking at her.

“You guys shouldn’t have come here.” Lennie settled down Mana.

“Aww, little Davey’s back.~” Cantarella cooed before her eyes met with Davey’s. “Ready for some more loving from big sister?~”

“Leave him alone.” Lennie stepped in front of the kids.

“No, dad.” Davey placed a hand on his father’s shoulder.

“Aw, you think you’re a brave one, huh?” Cantarella watched as Davey came towards her, Mana making sure to stay right by Davey as Cordelia hugged Lennie. “Gonna hug big sister?”

“You’re not my sister.”

“Ah, right. And what are you gonna do about it?”

“Nothing.” Davey replied, making Cantarella burst out with a laugh. “I don’t have to do anything.”

“What are you-” Cantarella then stopped herself, her smile faltering as she heard something.

But this is not my life.

Cantarella’s eyes widened as she looked at Davey, seeing as he crossed his arms in front of her.

This is just some illusion. It’s not real and I realize that now.

“I’m not afraid of you,” he posited. “And my sister’s smart.”

You are...you are not my dad...you...you’re just a bunch of pure imagination.

“She’ll kick you out.”

Fuck you Cantarella, you useless piece of shit.

“No…” Cantarella shook her head, the shaking then becoming quick before she tugged her arms rather harshly. “No!”

Davey took a step back once he saw Cantarella rip her arms out of her restraints, raising them over her head as she was ready to attack Davey. However, that never came.

Davey opened his eyes once he heard a blood curdling scream, glancing down at his feet where he saw Cantarella violently convulsing. He gasped and stepped even further back until crashing into Ama who held him, everybody staring in shock as the girl continued to scream.

Dark blue spikes protruded all over her, always coming in and out of her but especially her back.

Atlas’ eyes widened once he was able to make out a shape that wasn’t a spike, almost like a second body that was being pushed out through the girl’s back as the stitches now opened. He stepped forwards despite Vespers’ protests, then seeing as a body did appear, right before falling onto the ground.

Now there were two bodies on the ground, Ula’s and Cantarella’s.

“Ula!” Atlas rushed over to Ula, picking up her limp and bloodied body before turning to see Cantarella blink her eyes open.

“How...how did she…” Cantarella blinked several times before eyeing the crowd around her, eyes now wide before she shifted into her shadow self. Before anybody could react, the shadow vanished away which no doubt frustrated the others and Atlas but he was honestly quite focused on something else.

“Ula?” he moved her hair out of her face, right before seeing as hazel eyes opened to tiredly look up at Atlas.

“A...Atlas.” Ula breathed out before coughing, then snuggling her head into Atlas’ chest as he held her close.

_____________

“When’s she gonna wake up?”

“I don’t know, but let’s hope it’s soon.”

“Is she dead?”

“Of course not.”

At the sound of voices softly speaking, save for one who was louder than the rest, Ula released a sigh as she shut her eyes tighter than they already were. She could tell that she was laying on her side, not exactly the most comfortable position at the moment, so she attempted to roll onto her back.

“Ula, Ula! Wait!”

“Not on your back!”

“Hm?” Ula finally fluttered her eyes open, her vision somewhat blurred before she blinked that away and was able to make out a few shapes. Once she could properly see, Ula gave a bit of a smile when she recognized the figures before her, especially as one of them tightly held her hand.

“Hi guys.” Ula breathed out. “Why can’t I lay on my back?”

“Your stitches.” she heard her dad say, just as he held her cheek in one of his hands.

“Dad...Where are we?”

“Cuckoo’s circus, inside one of the backstage tents.” Lennie rubbed her cheek, right before he was forced away due to the jumping girl now in between him and Ula.

“Can I hug her now!? Can I, can I, can I!?”

“Cordie, now’s not the best time.” Lennie lightly chuckled before Ula shrugged.

“I don’t mind.” she also chuckled. “Just be careful with the stitches.”

Ula gave a quiet ‘oof’ once she felt her little sister immediately hug her, still making sure to be gentle.

“I missed you so, so, much!” Cordelia exclaimed while hiding her face into the crook of Ula’s neck.

“I missed you too.” Ula giggled before glancing behind Lennie, finding her little brother standing right behind him. “Aren’t you gonna come and hug me too?”

“Can I?” Davey whispered before seeing his sister nod, then immediately rushing over to hug Ula along with Cordelia.

“I love you guys so much.” Ula attempted to embrace her siblings no matter how uncomfortable she felt still laying on her side.

“Is she awake?”

Lennie turned around as Ula looked behind her siblings, then seeing Ama walk into the tent with a smile.

“She sure is.” Lennie nodded before allowing his niece to approach Ula. “Just be careful guys.”

“I know.” Ama smiled as Davey and Cordelia parted away from Ula, now Ama hugging her friend as best as possible. “How are you doing?”

“Well, I’m me again and there’s nobody controlling my body.” Ula let out a breathy laugh. “So, I’d say I’m doing pretty good right now.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Ama pulled away from her hug before moving out of the way. “There are others here who want to see you.”

“Ugh, attention on me again.” Ula groaned before shutting her eyes, but she was quite startled when she felt saliva all over her face. “Mana!?”

Ula laughed as her axolotl licked all over her face, whimpering as he attempted to climb onto the bed with her for her knew that this time it was his little one.

“Mana! I’m so happy to see you too.” Ula giggled before wrapping her arms around the axolotl, finally settling him down as he nuzzled into her and lay quite comfortably.

“There’s someone else who I think you’ll be willing to see.” Lennie walked over to pet Mana’s head, Ula looking up before seeing another figure standing at the entrance of the tent.

“Atlas?” Ula’s eyes landed on Atlas’ face, a sense of warmth filling her as she saw him smile back at her.

“Come on kiddos.”

“Aw, dad! We wanna stay here with Ula!” Cordelia whined before feeling Lennie kiss her forehead.

“We can come back later, okay? Ula’s nor we are going anywhere.”

“Fiiine.” Cordelia pouted before holding Lennie’s hand, being led out by him, Davey following behind after he and Ula shared some waving.

“I’ll also leave you guys alone.” Ama whispered to Ula before squeezing her hand, Ula nodding and watching everybody but Atlas and Mana leave.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Ula continued to pet her concerned axolotl. “How you been?”

“I should be asking you that.” Atlas pulled a chair to sit beside Ula, reaching out to hold her hand that she had on top of Mana. 

“I’m fine I think.” Ula chuckled before her smile faltered. “I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know what you and everybody else had to go through when...Cantarella was-”

“That’s not your fault.” Atlas shook his head. “Don’t blame yourself for the things she did.”

“Or is doing next?” Ula shut her eyes. “You’re all here paying attention to me when you should be taking care of yourselves.”

“You’re a little more important right now. You literally had somebody inside your body, and…” Atlas cringed at the thought. “Literally ripped out of your body.”

“But I’m fine now. I could get up if I wanted to.” Ula then attempted to stand up, but she bit her lip when a pain shot down from her neck to her back. “Maybe not now, but later I could.”

“You need to rest.” 

“I was already asleep for too long.” Ula shook her head. “I’m scared of going back to sleep.”

“I see.” Atlas nodded before squeezing Ula’s hand. 

“It’s not like it was necessarily scary or anything. It was your typical Ryder nightmare.” Ula squeezed back. “In fact...it was a different reality where everything was supposedly...nice.”

“How so?”

“My mom and that side of the family was all...the same, except for...James was my father. And I had brothers who were triplets.” Ula explained as she made a weird face. “Cosmos was married to some deadlight name...Karina? Pepper was single, as was Ace. Ferry wasn’t around, nor Belinda-”

“Wait, Vespers and Cosmos weren’t together?” Atlas raised an eyebrow as Ula shook her head again. “So...there were no Phoebe or twins? Pepper and Belinda’s kids? Cuckoo and Calliope?”

“None of that. Not even Davey or Cordelia, since my mother and Lennie didn’t even know each other. Hell, Maggie and Billy weren’t together and I saw an adult version of Ama.”

“What? I understand Cantarella didn’t want you waking up...but what?”

“That’s not the entire deal. When I had my first...accident with Ryder...my dead uncle Lucky talked to me and told me about this timeline.” Ula released a deep breath. “I’m pretty sure this was that timeline he was referring to, because my mother and James never broke up.”

“Wait, so you’re saying that James…” Atlas looked Ula all over, connecting the dots: the latest streaks of dark brown in her hair, the hazel eyes, and the blood that was no longer green but red.

“I wouldn’t say that exactly, especially because I don’t exactly understand everything yet. But I was their biological child in that timeline which no longer exists.” Ula pinched the bridge of her nose with her free arm. “ And...Schrader was there.”

“I imagine he was.”

“You weren’t there.” Ula peered up at Atlas. “So...even if I didn’t know...that place couldn’t have been real.”

The pair share a moment of silence, initially staring at each other before their gazing was interrupted by a grumble from Mana.

“Um...what else…”

“Atlas?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you remind me of the day we met?” Ula warmly smiled at him. “Please?”

“Why would you wanna hear that?” Atlas scoot closer towards Ula, then feeling as she unclasped her hand from Atlas’, instead holding his cheek now.

“I need a reminder of one of the best days of my life.”

Atlas leaned his cheek into Ula’s palm, smiling before he closed his eyes.

“Well, for starters you didn’t say anything to me. You only communicated with sign language.” Atlas started. “You had your ‘small but knowing’ theme before getting really into Alice in Wonderland.”

“It was an autumn afternoon, right?”

“Yeah, kind of chilly.” Atlas nodded. “You were quiet and calm, just sat next to me while I read a book in the garden.”

“I liked you at that moment.” Ula was the one who now added on. “I could tell we were going to be friends.”

“You were my reading buddy.” Atlas placed his hand over Ula’s.

“And I always will be.” Ula rubbed his cheek, particularly focusing on his freckles; her smile, however, soon faltered once she thought of something. “Atlas…there’s something we need to talk about.”

“What is it?”

“The night of the party...after the party,” Ula cleared her throat, Atlas now pulling his face away from her palm when those words seemed familiar. “I left with Schrader.”

“Yeah, to get your gift. I remember.”

“But...something happened. No, something was going to happen.” Ula bit the inside of her cheek. “I told myself I would tell you as soon as possible but...that was obviously delayed.”

“I understand.”

“You see, me and Schrader were talking and there was a moment where…” Ula shut her eyes for a moment, but she opened them right back when she realized that she had to look Atlas in the eye. “We leaned in close...I swear Atlas, nothing happened. I left after that. I really swear, it just felt like those days back when we were…”

Ula then stopped herself before a feeling came over her, and she knew it was coming from Atlas. She could tell the hurt in him; she knew just what he was thinking, and he knew this.

“Thank you for your honesty.” Atlas mumbled out as his eyes looked down at his feet. 

“That’s...that’s not all.” Ula coughed. “I didn’t nor could believe at first...but Basil and Flora...are apparently mine and his kids.”

“Huh.”

“I…”

“Didn’t you, uh…” Atlas forced a chuckle. “Didn’t you have a crush on Basil when we were younger?

“Atlas-”

“Like, like in Back To The Future.” Atlas continued, still not looking at Ula. “That’s kinda funny. Basil’s Marty and you Lorraine, making Schrader George…”

“Atlas-”

“Maybe this means you’re meant to be with Schrader.”

“W...what?” Ula blinked at Atlas. “What do you mean?”

“You and I are together, yet Basil and Flora exist.” Atlas answered. 

“But...I want to be with you.” Ula whispered. 

“But...what about Schrader?” Atlas whispered back. “What’ll happen if...their parents aren’t together?”

“What if our kids’ parents aren’t together?”

Atlas finally turned to Ula, seeing as her cheeks flushed as she closed her eyes.

“Hey, Atlas?”

He turned around once he heard Ama’s voice, spotting just the girl who cleared her throat. 

“Vespers wanted to talk to you.” Ama pointed to the outside of the tent. 

“I-”

“Just go.” Ula told him, Atlas turning to her before she pulled her hands to herself and the sleeping Mana. “I’ll survive.”

Atlas gave a bit of a nod before standing and walking out, Ama soon sitting on the chair he had been using.

“Did Vespers really call Atlas?”

“Of course not.” Ama replied before holding her friend’s hand. “Something just told me you needed Atlas away.”

“He wants to break up with me.”

Now Ama’s eyes widened at the sound of this, Ula speaking before she could.

“He obviously doesn’t want to be with me.” Ula bit her now quivering lip. “He doesn’t believe me when I say I want to be with him. I’m sure he’s wanting to break up, but can’t. Maybe he feels like he’s forced to stay with me, like he’ll feel bad when I’m sad. Maybe he just can’t find a way to break up and is trying to convince me to do it.”

“Ula.” Ama shook her head. “You shouldn’t be thinking those things.”

“Ama.”

“You and Atlas really need to have a talk.” Ama interrupted with a shake of her head. “All three of us are best friends, and he hasn’t told me anything about this. I’m sure-”

“He’d never tell you anything like that.” Ula laughed with a small head shake. 

“Ula, look.” Ama fixed Ula’s hair. “I’m serious when I say that you and Atlas need to talk.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You’ll know when the moment comes.” Ama softly smiled at her. “And no matter what it is happens, I know you guys are gonna be there for each other. I just know it.”

Ula stared at Ama for a moment before sighing with a smile and nod.

“I just…” Ula felt as her cheeks heat up once again, never realizing that there was a third presence just outside the tent. “I want that idiot to propose to me some day.”

“Is that so?” Ama felt her smile widen.

“I wanna get married to him, with you by my side as my maid of honor.” Ula crinkled her nose with eyes closed again. “My mom would be sobbing her eyes out, my dad would walk me down…I sound just like a hopeless school girl. I basically told him that I wanted kids with him.”

“It’s nice.” Ama shrugged, then leaning over to hug both Mana and Ula. “I hope the both of you come to your freaking senses.”

“Me too.”

Just outside the tent was Atlas, having listened to the conversation inside. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“Atlas?”

He then turned around, right before his eyes widened at the sight of a familiar face.

[radishearts]

Confession week: ladynoir july

previous chapters:  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19453693?view_full_work=true

this specific chapter:  Chapter 16

 it’s still day 4 but it’s part 16 - Oblivio:

There were many choices.

Kiss the turtle and hope for the best?

Or act like a damsel in distress, and wait for some prince to come and save her.

She looked out the window, sure enough, there were mummies and knights climbing up her tower.

That crazy pharaoh and the knight guy came back.

And Anasi as she spun a web around the building looked like it too.  

ok.

She was going to have to do it.

She was going to have to save herself this time.

And the opportunity was right there.

In the form of a turtle.

She didn’t want to do it.

“I can’t believe I'm doing this.” she muttered, scooping up the turtle and holding up like simba.

“Here goes nothing!”

She kissed the turtle.

Suddenly magic sparkles filled the air.

The turtle changed back to it’s normal form.

And they were back where they were.

Right in paris.

Right where they were before the akuma attacked them.

‘The dark ominous cloud of light was above them in the sky.

Bunnix was right, she was going to send everyone into the fairytale.

And there was nothing they could do about it.

Nothing.

“There going to be ok.” carapace whispered

“I hope so, that's my best friend there nino, and yours too.”

“I know.” his voice barely audible as he wrapped her in a tight embrace, “ I know…” - “What if i just grabbed your face and kissed you?” she said, voice barely above a whisper as she watched the two guards poke around the area where they had seen ‘robin hood’ and his so called accomplice, ‘lady mariam’.

“What?” he whispered “is this some type of joke?”

“What never kissed a girl before?”

“Yes..no...maybe, what's it to you mary poppins?”

“Dude i may be mary poppins, but at least i slay, you my monkey friend fall short of any measure of fabulousness!”

“Whatever, stop being extra, we both know the truth i am more fabulous than you could ever be.” he paused as the superheroine rolled his eyes at him, “but anyway, why would you kiss me?”

“Don’t get it twisted dude, i don’t want to as much as you do, but if we’re in the fairytale: robin hood, which i’ve heard recited over a million times by one of my friends, then what happened in the end is that  we fall in love get married  and kiss.”

“Really?”

“Is it that had to believe? It’s disney dude.”

“I meant really, as in you think it’ll work.”

“Kisses break curses, and whatever dis is,” she gestured around them, “ is a living curse.”

“Well ok then.”

“don’t get it twisted, I don’t wanna kiss you as much as the next person, but like, to get out of his mess, we might have to.”

“are you implying?- hmph!”

She grabbed his face and kissed him.

leaving them with a whole new set of problems.

1. he started kissing her back

2. she surprisingly wore a fruity lipgloss, and he wa saddicted

3. rena and carapace were staring at them

but as she deepned the kiss.

(if you could even call it that, more like a makeout session )

all the problems in the world seemed to melt away.

- The huge bell tower struck 12 and magic sparkles flew down the dragons pink dress leaving her a torn gown.

“Finally!” she sighed “ those two minutes in that monstrosity was a pure horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“I dunno, you looked pretty adorable”

If you ever call me that again I will slit your throat.”

“Alright, so what are we supposed to do? I think the clock and the magic pumpkins and mice squirming about, says this is cinderella.”

“Whats cinderella?”

“Child please tell me your’ve watched disney.”

“Whats ‘this knee’ about?”

“Did you just pun?”

“I’m serious, whats is ‘this knee’ about?”

“She needs help serious help.”

“Tell me what this ella of cinders was about, i’m very interested.”

“Once upon a time there lived a girl who was brave and beautiful, however she lived with her stepmother and her two ugly step sisters, who quarreled over everything. They made her life miserable and made her a servant of the house, however one day while out in the market, she met a prince however at that time she didn’t know it. He was smitten over her and even though he was to marry a princess, he felt the need to meet her again. In doing this he proclaimed a ball, invited every maiden in the land to the prestigious event, cinderella wishing she could go made a dress, however when the time came for her family to leave they ripped her dress and forbade her from going. After crying for a little bit suddenly her fairy godmother appeared and with a little bit of magic she went to the ball, she met the prince, danced with him and at the stroke of midnight the magic wore off, she ran away, a single slipper left on the staircase a clue to where she was, fast forward the prince found her after a shoe tryathon and they got married and lived happily ever after.”

“That's a very unrealistic story line.”

“It’s a fairytale for children, it’s allowed to be.”

“So what are you suggesting we do?”

“How about i put your shoe on?”

“What a strange request? But if that what it takes to get out of here i shall comply.”

She slipped off her shoe and sat on the staircase and he slipped it on.

Magic sparkles flew around them and they found themselves with rena, carapace standing above them. Roi singe and bunnix a few meters away

The sky had darkened, ladybug, chat noir, pegasus and queen bee were still no where to be found.

The looming doom of being sent back into fairytale raged over the city and they all (bar roi singe and bunnix who weren't paying attention to anything else and were still kissing eachother) said a silent prayer.

- “Makeup supplies, beauty products come and get your pick at madam zu zu’s shop!”

“Oooh, i didn’t know they had make up in fairytales, lets go peggy!”

“My name is not peggy and I would not advise you go in there without taking the proper precautions!”

But it was too late, queen bee had rushed in the house. That's when he heard a scream, which he assumed to be of delight before several minutes of silence.

It was quiet. Too quiet.

He bust opened the door to find ‘madam zu zu’ or in her or shall we say his true form as kung food stirred a stew with queen bee tied to a post ready to be dropped into the soup.

She was squirming and shouting retortes that were muffled by the tape that was over her mouth. The akuma threw bread crumbs at him, which was definitely a twist to the fairytale.  He opened up a teleportation portal and quickly untied her before they teleported there butts out of there.

“Thank you peggy” she whispered embrcing him “ i was stupid, i shouldn’t have done that.”

“What was that?”

“If your expecting me to repeat that you may as well put that piece of tape on my mouth again.”

Pegasus rolled his eyes, brushing off the bread crumbs that had stuck to his costume.

Suddenly light flashed around them and they both found themselves in a place that really didn’t look like paris.

Dark.

Cold.

And eerie.

The 4 superheroes crowded around them helping them up.

The bunny and the monkey miraculous holders still engrossed in what they were doing and not caring that the two most powerful miraculous holders still hadn’t shown up.

-----

Chat cradled her in his arms. Style queen let out an evil cackle sending shivers down his and the other akumas spines.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing that you can’t fix.”

He looked down at her, cold and lifeless.

What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to fix this?

To his surprise some of the akumas gathered around him.

Most specifically the love akumas.

Dark cupid, glaciator and one of their most recent akumas, the shipper which they had mocked over her choice of name.

“Are you familiar with sleeping beauty?” the shipper asked - “What is taking them so long?” rena said on the verge of tears, embedding herself into carapace chest.

“They’ll be fine, they got this, we got this.”

“I swear, if chats kissing her and that's why they  aren’t here I will punch him where it hurts and then i’ll hug him.”

“The likelihood of them kissing is at 99.9%” pegasus stated not battering an eye nor using a calculator.

“Good to know the odds are good, five euroes says i’m right.”

“ ten euroes says there secretly already dating.”

“Doubt it, chat would have proclaimed that to the entire world if that was the case.”

“She is his world, of course he would have told her.”

“ I meant social media you dork,”

“Oh.” he said looking down at the ground in shame.

---- “I’ve watched the movie a few times.” chat sniffed, it appeared he was crying, as he wiped his eyes “why, what would that have do do with- ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh……”

His bran clicked and he suddenly he realised what she was hinting at.

Those sly akumas.

“She’s done it before, i’m sure it wouldn’t hurt if you saved her life?” dark cupid smirked

“You two really do act like a couple!” glaciator agreed

“And you’ve kissed twice!” the shipper added

Chat looked down on her.

Pretty- no beautiful as ever, just deeply asleep.

“I can’t.”

“What?”

“Excuse moi?

“Why?”

“Of course I like her, but i’m not going to kiss her without her permission, it’s not like were dating so i just can’t.”

All the akumas gave him THAT look and he shrugged sheepishly and he tucked a stray peice of hair behind her hair, gazing at her lovingly.

“Only if she’d have me.” he whispered. “ and I can't ask her that right now….”

Whispers filled the silence of the room.

“He really does love her.” copy cat sighed

“The childs an angel and a gentleman.” bubbler gushed dramatically raising his hand to his forehead and falling into lady wifi’s arms who of course dropped him in 0.0002 seconds.

“Hold the heck up people!” lady wifi said quieting down the crowds of akumas “ we can’t encourage this stupid and blind cat, of course the girls in love with him, like the shipper said, she’s kissed him twice, if thats not enough evidence, what is?”

“A formal announcement on social media?” the guy with the green glasses (that chat couldn’t pinpoint when they had defeated him.)

“Do shut up gamer.” she flicked her head back at chat noir “sha. La. la.” she said very un- enthusiastically so much so that chat almost feared for his life “ kiss the damn girl.”

Oh, she was referencing the little mermaid.

“ i just can’t.”

Everyone in the room gave him T.H.A.T look.

“Child please, of course you can kiss the girl, and if your not going to do it willingly, I will accidentally-push-you-into-her-so-you-face plant-on-each-others-lips, and trust me child i’m VERY accurate at that.”

“Something tells me you’ve had practice.”

“Nothing you can prove , now kiss her.”

Sighing chat noir brushed away her bangs and placed a light kiss on her forehead.

He wasn’t going to kiss her. Not today. And not like this. He actually had planned out on the eiffel tower, a romantic scene when finally he would tell her that he L-

Ladybug woke up.

It was no time for these thoughts.

The akuma sighed handing over the moth-infested object at a confused ladybug who cleansed the akuma unfazed.

But yet they still remained in the alternate dimension.

still stuck in the fairy tale.

@ladynoirjuly2019

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 9/3/21: SHANG-CHI, CINDERELLA, WORTH, MOGUL MOWGLI, YAKUZA PRINCESS, YEAR OF THE EVERLASTING STORM, and More

There’s only one new wide release this week but I’m not gonna say this movie title five times, because it’s so freakin’ long, that I can only really say it once. But it’s a good one! There’s also so many limited releases that as always, I just couldn’t get to all of them. (Word of warning: This column was finished under the influence of Churches' excellent new record, Screen Violence.)

Marvel Studios’ second movie of 2021, SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS (Marvel/Disney) stars Simu Liu as the “Master of Kung-Fu” from the comics, making his very first appearance in any live-action form that I know of. I have to say that I loved the comics as a kid and was truly bummed when I sold my whole collection, knowing that a lot of the great run of the comics from the ‘70s and ‘80s that have never been reprinted. That being said, this is Marvel’s first solo character introduction going all the way back to Brie Larson as Captain Marvel back in March, 2019, and before that, you’d have to go back November, 2016 for Doctor Strange, since Black Panther was introduced in Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Shang-Chi is directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, who broke onto the scene with indie films like I Am Not a Hipster and the better-received Short Term 12, which also introduced much of the world to Larson, and then the two of them made an adaptation of The Glass House. Cretton then directed Michael B. Jordan, and again, Larson, in Just Mercy for Warner Bros., which grossed $36 million in early 2020 but never quite achieved the Oscar hopes some were expecting. Still, all that work with Larson paid off, because it got him a meeting with Kevin Feige and Marvel for him to pitch this.

Granted, Simu Liu is a bit of an unknown quantity, having not made too many movies and being best known for the sitcom, Kim’s Convenience. On the other hand, his co-star Awkwafina has been building quite an impressive career from her roles in the 2018 hits, Crazy Rich Asians and Ocean’s 8, plus her starring role in the indie, The Farewell, for which she won a Golden Globe (but really should have gotten an Oscar nomination). She’s taken that success to put it into her Comedy Central show, Nora from Queens, while also providing her voice for lots of animated movies, including this year’s Disney animated movie, Raya and the Last Dragon. Most who have seen the movie early have mentioned that her comic chemistry with Lu has stolen the movie and oddly, her “best friend” character Katy seems to be heading towards a larger part in the MCU.

If we look at movies based around characters who received solo films before appearing anywhere else in the MCU, we get the aforementioned Captain Marvel movie, which had an insane $153 million opening weekend, doing even better than the Distinguished Competition’s own solo female movie, Wonder Woman, even though the latter was definitely better known. Captain Marvel ended up grossing over $400 million domestic and over a billion worldwide. The Doctor Strange movie that preceded it, starring Benedict Cumberbatch, didn’t do quite well but still opened with $85 million and made $232 million domestic. A year earlier, Marvel Studios’ attempt to make Ant-Man a thing led to one of their bigger disappointments with that opening with “just” $57 million and grossing $180 million domestic. (That also cost $30 million less than Doctor Strange and $45 million less than Captain Marvel, but when you get to those budgets over $100 million, every dollar counts to making back that budget.)

As with many MCU movies, Shang-Chi has been receiving rave reviews with a strong 92% on Rotten Tomatoes from over 140 reviews (at this writing). My review of this is over at Below the Line, and I loved it, too. The big selling point for Shang-Chi is that like Black Panther was to African-Americans, this character is to Asian-Americans, being able to see the first Marvel movie starring an Asian-American, as well as a mostly Asian cast that includes the great Tony Leung and Michelle Yeoh (who also starred in Crazy Rich Asians).

There are a few factors to bear in mind, and not just the COVID Delta variant one that we’ve been hearing so much about -- there’s no denying that things are getting worse, and hopefully this can be quelled before there’s another shutdown. This weekend is the four-day weekend with Labor Day on Monday, which has never been a great weekend at the movies, partially because schools have either started or are about to start and people just stop going to movies, despite there having been plenty of early September hits like Warner Bros’ It. September is definitely a new month for Marvel to release a movie, but with all the delays due to COVID, it’s a good (I’m not gonna use the term “experiment) to see if Marvel really can withstand the proverbial 12-month release calendar rather than their movies needing to be released over the summer or holidays or any other month.

Unlike the recent Black Widow, which had a substantial $80 million opening, Shang-Chi is not being released simultaneously on Disney+ via Premier Access, which presumably will mean more people will have to go see the movie in theaters during its 45-day run before heading home, but the question really is “Will they?” Besides Crazy Rich Asians, which did incredibly well among non-Asians, there haven’t been a ton of movies with Asian casts that have done well just due to the fact -- I mean, look at the recent Snake Eyes from Paramount Pictures. It didn’t get nearly as good reviews, but it’s another superhero movie with a mostly Asian cast, and that community didn’t get behind it at all. Maybe we can say the same about Raya but that also was released much earlier in the pandemic.

With that in mind, I do think Shang-Chi is good for a four-day opening between $53 million and $57 million, although I don’t think we can expect this to have the same impact as a Marvel movie with a well-known character or actor in the lead.

This weekend’s four-day box office should look something like this:

1. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Marvel/Disney) - $55.6 million N/A

2. Candyman (Universal) - $13.2 million -40%

3. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $11 million -16%

4. Paw Patrol: The Movie (Paramount) - $7 million +6%

5. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $4.5 million -10%

6. Don’t Breathe 2 (Sony/Screen Gems) - $2 million -30%

7. Respect (MGM) - $1.8 million -20%

8. The Suicide Squad (Warner Bros.) - $1.3 million -35%

9. The Protégé (Lionsgate) - $1.4 million -43%

10. The Night House (Searchlight) - $800k -39%

Hitting Amazon Prime Video on Friday (as well as select theaters in New York and L.A.) is Kay Cannon’s musical CINDERELLA (Amazon), which was originally going to be released theatrically by Sony Pictures in January, but it then became one of the first movies to have its production be shut down by COVID, so everything was delayed, and then Sony just decided to sell it off to Amazon, but considering everything going on, that may have been the wise choice, since I have a feeling more people will see this on Amazon then would have gone out to theaters with COVID, school starting, etc. Either way, you can read my interview with Kay Cannon over at Below the Line.

The movie stars pop star Camila Cabello In the title role of the musical was the brainchild of James Corden, who is no stranger to musicals. In fact, he seems to appear in almost every single one, or is that me? The nice thing is that you already know the story, as that hasn’t changed much, although Cannon definitely gives it a more modern spin in terms of Ella being far more feisty and a truly modern woman despite living in times where women aren’t allowed to do their own thing. Ella wants to be a designer, and she’s already making progress as she sews beautiful dresses in the basement where she’s kept by her stepmother (Idina Menzel) and taunted by her stepsisters (Maddie Baillio and Charlotte Spencer). One day, she meets the Prince Robert (Nicholas Galzitine) in the woods and has such an effect on him that he decides to hold a ball and invite all the women in the land in order to find a princess.

Like I said, pretty much the same story that we’ve seen in so many adaptations and quite a few musicals, and really, what probably will stand out more than anything is how talented Cabello is, considering that this is her first acting role in a major feature, and she kills it. I wouldn’t say that I love all the song choices, but I did love most of the arrangements, and there are so many great standout moments like “Shining Star” performed by Billy Porter as Cinderella’s “Fab G” (replacing and gender-switching her Fairy Godmother) and Menzel’s performance of her own song she wrote for the movie is a definite showstopper.

Obviously, casting the likes of Menzel and Porter means you have a couple ringers, but Minnie Driver is also great and even Pierce Brosnan kind of makes up for his horrific singing performance in Mamma Mia! This time, he gets something more in his range. And James Corden is in it, but it's such a small role that even those who truly hate him don't have enough time to do so.

It’s probably a cliché to say that this Cinderella won’t be for everyone, and I’m sure many critics had their knives out for it sight unseen. Personally, I know tons of fans of musicals and movies like Into the Woods, and yes, the Pitch Perfect movies, who will really enjoy what Kay Cannon and her talented cast and crew have done with the story. Kay Cannon’s Cinderella is a movie that’s more about fun entertainment than anything particularly cerebral, and in days like these, maybe that’s all that is needed sometimes.

There's a ton of other interesting indie films out this week… some of them are even good!

A movie that many (hopefully) will view with interest is Bassam Tariq’s MOGUL MOWGLI (Strand Releasing), co-written by and starring Riz Ahmed, which premiered all the way back at the Berlin Film Festival in February 2020. Besides it being of interest due to Ahmed’s presence, Tariq is also rumored to be directing the new Blade movie for Marvel Studios, starring Mahershala Ali, so many will (hopefully) be checking out this movie for that reason alone. (It certainly grabbed my interest.)

In the movie, Ahmed plays Zaheer who raps under the pseudonym of Zed, but he’s a Pakistani living in London at odds with his parents and the Muslim traditions put upon him. Just as he’s about to go on a major tour that could give his career a much-needed push, he suddenly loses the ability to walk and is diagnosed with a muscular disease that will involve stem cell therapy.

Okay, yes, this is another movie involving Ahmed as a performer who is hit by a debilitating condition much like his Oscar-nominated turn in Sound of Metal, but this is a very different movie that also deals with culture and religion and other things that just had much of an impact on me. Zaheer is told by his doctor that after the procedure, he would be unable to have kids, so he should freeze his sperm, and there’s a scene that I personally experienced when I was told the same before my stem cell transplant.

As much as this is very much a family drama, there’s also an interesting almost horror element to Mogul Mowgli as Zameer is constantly being plagued by hallucinations and nightmares, but there’s also some light humor in the fact that his main competition, another Pakistani rapper named “RPG,” is a bit of an idiot. But this really is Ahmed’s show, and heck, I might go so far to say that I think Ahmed’s performance in this movie is even better than his performance in Sound of Metal if you can believe that.

Mogul Mowgli proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that Riz Ahmed’s Oscar nomination was no fluke. He is clearly one of the best actors we have today, and he also shows that lacking the right material, he’s just going to write his own. It's opening at New York's Film Forum on Friday, and I'm not sure where else.

Brazilian filmmaker Vicente Amorim’s action-thriller YAKUZA PRINCESS (Magnet) -- which has played a couple recent genre festivals like Fantasia in Montreal -- really should be my kind of movie. Based on the Manga of the same name, it’s set in Sao Paulo, Brazil, where I used to live as a kid, believe it or not, but it’s also one of the largest Japanese communities outside Japan. In this environment comes newcomer Masumi as Akemi, who was orphaned as a child and left in Sao Paulo, but she later learns she’s the heiress to the Yakuza crime syndicate. She ends up meeting a badly scarred-up stranger with amnesia (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) who believes an ancient katana sword might bind their fates.

Like I said, this should be my kind of movie, because I love Yakuza films and crime films set in the world of Japanese crime, and as I said, I lived in Brazil, so that country still hold a place in my heart. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of amazing Yakuza films from the great Takashi Miike, and this one is just so erratic in terms of pacing and tone that it really took me quite some time to really get into it.

Unfortunately, this movie at its core feels like another Kill Bill wannabe where Amorim relies so much on being super-stylish and throwing in lots of fast editing to make up for the lack of originality or any real substance.

The writing in the movie isn’t great, at least at first, but it’s also far too obvious how new and green Masumi is as an actor, because she delivers her lines and swordplay with very little charisma, and Rhys Meyers isn’t much better. In fact, the film’s best parts are the ones in Japanese, but that’s in the second half where the movie slows down considerably. There is the expected amount of gory swordplay and people being shot in the head, but there’s also way too much unnecessary exposition, much of it in bad English.

There’s just no way around that this is a movie that tries to jump on a genre bandwagon that has been handled so much better by Japanese filmmakers, while this just fails to keep the viewer interested beyond its soundtrack and the score by Lucas Marcier and Fabiano Krieger, which is pretty fantastic. Sure, it’s pretty violent and gory, but at times, it relies too much on viewers really only being on board for that. Other times, it feels like a patchwork of elements that don’t necessarily work together but also feels so derivative of so many better films.

Essentially, Yakuza Princess is yet another overly stylish action movie that’s better when everyone is fighting rather than talking. I had a hard time staying interested, and I’m not sure if that would have been exacerbated if I saw this on the big screen vs. a screener. Unfortunately, you'll only get to see on the big screen in certain regions, because it's mainly being released VOD.

Hitting Netflix on Friday after a week at New York’s Paris Theater is Sara Colangelo’s drama WORTH (Netflix), starring Michael Keaton, Stanley Tucci, and Amy Ryan, which premiered all the way back in January 2020 at the Sundance Film Festival. In the movie, Keaton plays Kenneth Feinberg, an opera loving lawyer and college professor who is commissioned to start the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund, which has to come up with the amount of money that the families of those who died in the terrorist attacks will receive.

As you can probably expect, this movie is a laugh a minute… no, I’m kidding, this is a well-written and acted, but also often rather dry drama that’s about a serous topic, but it also feels like it comes so late after 9/11 that it doesn’t feel as relevant anymore, even with the anniversary coming up soon.

The movie is very much a spotlight for Keaton, who sports a heavy Massachusetts accent but still delivers a solid performance as the man with the unenviable task of trying to calculate the payouts for the people who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks. But Keaton doesn’t just deliver himself, he also brings out the best from everyone else in the cast, not too surprising from Ryan or Tucci, but there are also lots of pleasant surprises, including Shunori Ramathan and some of the actors playing the people who lost family members.

More than anything else, the movie is very much about the excellent script by Max Borenstein (who mostly has written a bunch of Godzilla and King Kong movies, oddly enough), and in that sense, it reminds me of Tom McCarthy’s Spotlight or the recent The Report, which are both solid movies but also very dialogue-driven ensemble dramas. Colangelo does a fine job with the film's pacing, which much have been a difficult task.

The only real problem with Worth is that it's so filled with crying and drama it's pretty hard to take for two hours straight. Basically, it’s one of those very good movies that you really have to be in the right headspace to get through it.

Michelle Civata's THE GATEWAY (Lionsgate) is a crime-thriller set in rural St. Louis with Shea Whigham playing Parker, a social worker who is trying to protect his client, a single mother (Olivia Munn) with a young daughter, whose husband was just paroled from jail with a drugdealer (Frank Grillo) trying to get him back on the payroll.

I wasn't sure about this one at least as it started, even with such a solid cast, which includes Bruce Dern as Park's estranged father, and it certainly started out a bit erratic with some scenes and characters working better than others. What works in the movie's favor is Whigham is such a good actor who rarely gets juicy roles like this one where he can be at the center of the story, and The Gateway shows that maybe this shouldn't be.

Despite a woman as director and co-writer, the whole thing comes off as fairly macho, clearly influenced by filmmakers like Scorses, but the fact that there's heart and real characters at the center of the movie that doesn't offer some degree of action -- gunfights, car chases and such -- does make The Gateway far better than it could have been.

Unfortunately, things start to fall a bit in the last act, although there are some great scenes between Whigham and Dern, and I generally like what the movie is trying to say about family. Because of that, The Gateway ends up being a decent indie crime thriller that doesn't veer too far from others but gives Wigham a long-deserved leading role to show his stuff.

The Gateway will open in select theaters, and be available via Apple TV and other digital platforms Friday and then be available on DVD and Blu-ray on Tuesday, September 7.

Sean King O’Grady’s thriller WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING (IFC Midnight) stars Sierra McCormick as teenager Melissa, who ends up trapped with her family in a house after trying to shelter from a storm… and boy, did this movie remind me of this awful recent movie called John and the Hole that IFC released last month. And this one really isn’t much better, despite starring great actors like Vinessa Shaw and Pat Healy.

Honestly, I have no idea why anyone would read the script by Max Booth III (based on his own novella, no less) and think, “Boy, this would make an interesting movie,” but this is the age we live in where everyone is trying to make something cool and woke for the kiddies, and in this case that comes in the form of Melissa’s goth girlfriend Amy (Lisette Alexis) who shows up (in flashback) as so that they can do some incantations which may be causing all the weirdness. It’s as if the filmmakers thought that throwing in a bit of The Craft might save it.

I probably was most disappointed by Healy, since I’m such a fan of his work, but he isn’t given much to do except rant and rave and yell a lot, and he really comes off like an asshole, which is not a great look for him.

O’Grady throws all sorts of things at the family like a not particularly scary stupid looking rattlesnake that has them screaming horribly and some kind of… werewolf or something? (I don’t know ‘cause we never see it. We just see its tongue which Melissa rips out.) Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen worse acting, which just makes the family even more annoying.

With a really stupid premise that is barely able to carry a movie, if you’re gonna call your movie We Need to Do Something, then for EFF’s sake, DO SOMETHING! Man, this movie frustrated the hell out of me.

Also out on Friday is the anthology film, YEAR OF THE EVERLASTING STORM (NEON), which features an amazing roster of filmmakers, including David Lowery, director of the recent The Green Knight, Jafar Panahi, Anthony Chen, Laura Poitras (CITIZEN4), Apichatpong Weerasethakul, and others, taking a semi-documentary approach to share their thoughts on living in a pandemic… I watched the Panahi and Chen segments but never got to the rest, but if I do, I'll add my thoughts on the film as a whole when I have a chance. The movie opens at the IFC Center in New York this Friday and then in Los Angeles at the Laemlle Royal next Friday.

I wasn’t able to get to Safy Nebbou’s WHO YOU THINK I AM (Cohen Media), based on the best-selling novel from Camille Laurens, but it stars the great Juliette Binoche, a single mom and middle-aged professor who is ghosted her 20-something lover so she creates a fake Facebook profile for 24-year-old avatar named “Clara” who is friended by her ex’s roommate. This opens at the Quad Cinema in New York on Friday as well as in L.A. at the Landmark, and I hope to get to watch it soon.

Another movie I’ve been looking forward to seeing since it premiered at Sundance but just haven’t found the time is Lyle Mitchell Corbine Jr.’s WILD INDIAN (Vertical), starring the great Michael Greyeyes as a native American man who decades earlier covered up a classmate's murder, but now has to deal with a man who wants vengeance for the secret he's trying to keep as he tries to protect his wife (Kate Bosworth) and boss (Jesse Eisenberg) from that secret. Sounds pretty amazing and man, I wish I could just fit in more movies with everything I have going on right now.

Chad Michael Murray plays the title role in Daniel Farrands' TED BUNDY: AMERICAN BOOGIEMAN (Voltage/Dark Star PIctures), which hits VOD and DVD this Friday, but unlike last week's No Man of God, which deals with Bundy already in prison, it deals with Bundy still on the prowl and the law enforcement agents who eventually brought him down including detective Kathleen McChesney (Holland Roden) and rookie FBI profiler Robert Ressler (Jake Hays). I haven't had a chance to watch this yet, but it would have been nice if they released the two movies in chronological order, no?

A great doc that played at the Tribeca Festival a couple months back and will hit Showtime this Friday is Sacha Jenkins’ BITCHIN’: THE SOUND AND FURY OF RICK JAMES (Showtime), an absolutely fascinating look at the controversial funk and soul star whose catchy dance music of the '70s led to drugs and worse offenses in subsequent years. This is a fantastic doc that I wish I could watch again, but I don't have Showtime. Waugh waugh...

Others that came out this week or weekend:

AFTERLIFE OF THE PARTY (Netflix)

STEEL SONG (Gravitas Ventures)

SAVING PARADISE (Vertical)

Next week, the new horror movie from James Wan, Malignant, as well as Paul Schrader's The Card Counter, which I think might be going wide next week, too.

[elane-in-the-shadows]

Red Queen Fan Fiction - Blood Curse part 9

Find this on wattpad

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 13

chapter 14

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 17

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 20

chapter 21

chapter 22

chapter 23

chapter 24

chapter 25

chapter 26

chapter 27

chapter 28

chapter 29

Final chapter

A/N: The chapter in which nothing happens XDD Only plotwise, that is. This chapter goes emo.

Mare POV

I don’t need to look up to mark the moment the cameras are turned off. Instead I close my eyes, breathing in and out. I have to banish the lies and pretends out of me. What a dream we told the audience about, if only it was true. But that would make Tiberias a king and I still can’t bear to see that happen.

I’ve fallen behind. Farley, Tiberias, Davidson and Evangeline build a little group on the stage and discuss. It’s amazing how honest Farley and Davidson sound, and I wonder if their plans will change. It was Davidson’s idea to pitch the nobles against one another, yet I still hardly know him. If he obtains what he wants, he might found another alliance and discard those not following. I shake my head which catches Tiberias’s attention and our eyes meet. He turns to me, seeming worried, and for a moment, I want to give in. But just for a moment. I straighten myself and leave the stage.

Trusting them is only a dream, and Tiberias won’t be a good king. He can’t even listen for a few minutes without getting distracted – by me. If he wishes to change the world, he has a long way to go.

I’ve gathered more than a dozen books by now; and three of them are on the bed with me. Corvium is full of cast-off clutter, be it books or clothes or weapons. I couldn’t afford much reading in the Stilts, but since I dropped into Queenstrial, I’ve begun to enjoy it. Books are calming, books offer information I crave. I’m not naive enough to believe all of their messages but they’re everything I have. No wonder Julian adores them. Even if books lied, they didn’t choose me as their victim of deceit.

There’s a knock on my door and I bid my visitor in. I greet Farley when she enters but I notice she’s as reluctant and careful as usual when she’s around me, and I’m uncertain if I’m glad or angry about it.

She sits down on the edge of my bed. “I’ll leave tomorrow,” she tells me. “Some Guard soldiers are to go to the Piedmont base and I’ll accompany them.”

“Ah,” I reply, putting my lecture away and waiting for more.

She smiles. “It’s about time. The Silvers are leaving too, while the Samos princeling will remain here, ‘to rule’, and well.” She shrugs.

“You can’t bear to work with him,” I add in her stead and she inclines her head. Suddenly, she grabs a pillow of mine and pulls it close.

“I don’t know how I let so much time pass here. Almost a month.” She snorts. “A month since I saw Clara.”

“Farley – “

“I want to have her with me again. I feel almost guilty. However important this – “ she glances around the room, “ – is, when I work for the Guard, I have to rely on other people anyways. I can delegate. But Clara has no other … parent, and I want to be hers. More than anything, but …” she trails off suddenly.

I move closer to lean against her. “Don’t…” I begin, “… I mean, you do your best. But I know Mom worries about you, and I do too. You can’t do everything by yourself, so don’t overwork yourself, okay?” I improvise, though apparently, I said it right.

“Compromising, huh?” Farley sums it up. She sighs. “Sometimes I think I wouldn’t have these problems if I had Shade at my side. None. Everything would be perfect, even the progresses in the war.”

My brother’s name pierces my heart after all. I go still as Farley mumbles, “how easily we idealize people we love.” She hugs me.

“Will you come with me tomorrow?” she asks and for some reason, I stiffen further. “You don’t have to,” she continues, “you can stay, or go with someone else – “

“Don’t manipulate me.”

She lets go of me. “That wasn’t my intent-”

“Really?” I sneer.

Her gaze is unwavering, unavoidable. “If you think I do, my intention doesn’t matter,” she concedes. “I’m sorry. It’s your decision. Rafe, Sara and Cameron will come with me, Ella and Tyton will stay until they’re needed elsewhere. And if you want to return later on, there’ll be other chances, I’m making sure of it.”

I expect her to leave but she hesitates and brushes my shoulder. “Thanks for listening to me,” she says. You know you can come to me if you need anything.”

"I’m aware,” I answer. My face feels stony, yet I bring myself to smile. “I’d wish you a good journey, but why should I when I’m coming with you? I can’t wait to see my family either.”

She smiles back, although her worry lingers. “The plane leaves at 6 am,” she informs me.

Packing the things I‘ve collected here isn’t what stops me from sleeping. I’m not half as sure about leaving as I pretended to be, and I know the reason. I’ve talked with other Newbloods and soldiers from Piedmont to learn whether they’d go or stay, but I avoided one person and I know I can’t go without meeting him once more.

It’s after midnight when I walk the corridors of the tower like a ghost, slow, unseen, and procrastinating what I desire to do. Yet I find his rooms despite never having been there before. Light emanates from under the door, and I hear and smell a fire in his chimney. I wonder if those were built especially for the Calore apartments, then about why there aren’t watchmen to see here. Likely Tiberias thinks he doesn’t need them, or doesn’t want them. I can relate to both, though I can’t imagine to trust his new allies as much, if I was in his place – do the Samos see him as irreplaceable as Anabel does? After all I experienced with Evangeline –

I hear steps from inside and I force myself not to run away when the door opens. It’s him, and he looks more shocked than when hit by lightning. I don’t want to know his thoughts about my presence, thus I enter his room by pushing him aside, walking to his cluttered desk, full of maps and notes.

“I’m developing possible strategies,” he says behind me. He’s followed me back in, and when I turn my head, I’m startled by his closeness. Visibly. He notices, smiles and, thank his colours, he doesn’t do more than that. I go away a step and drop into his chair. It’s comely piece of furniture, old and used but comfortable, intricately manufactured and well-tended.  It’s typically him. If I looked around his room, would I see more of his personality reflected here? Yet the idea is soon replaced by the sour tang of the advantages he’s allowed, even urged, to enjoy as a royal Silver. I should act on it and leave, but that wouldn’t erase the reason I came for. To say farewell, I remind myself.

Before I can do this, he bends over the desk from the other side. “Archeon can be attacked, as we saw already,” he explains, assuming I want to talk about his maps, or just glad to speak with me at all. “But that would’ve mostly symbolic meaning,” he goes on, “and even that lessens with each new try. The ruling council can still escape, and their routes are changed now, as you’ve told us. And our court spies …” he lets the words hang in the air, maybe doubting if the twin Newbloods with Maven are still “ours”.

Tiberias clears his throat. “However, that might be for the better. If anything happened to Princess Iris as well, the war with the Lakelands might start anew.” He looks at me, finally, expecting me to have an opinion on this, and I have many. Does he still search for ways to spare Maven? Does he really believe the Cygnets would start a war over dead royals, as if the war hasn’t been only a ruse for a century? And what if Monfort wants this, the Calores and Cygnets destroying each other, despite the lives taken as collateral damage?

I don’t mention any of this and merely return his gaze, trying to find out if he’s again becoming the prince I met a year ago. We’re so close, our hands just a centimeter apart from touching, until he bridges the distance. Just the faint touch of his fingers tingles in my hand, then these sparks move upwards. I swallow.

“When will those plans be put into use?” I ask, to break the silence, to dissemble.

He tilts his head, surprised but not reacting to the short moment of arousal which I’m sure has shown on my face. “Maybe never,” replies he, and this confuses me.

“Excuse me?”

He laughs joylessly. “My council can’t decide who to attack first. Every one of the Steelfire Alliance insists on their opinion, on securing their personal vendettas and profit …”

I bit at my lip for the stupid name, and because Tiberias doesn’t realize he has to make a decision for them if he wants to be king. Then I think it’s for the better if he hesitates to embrace the role, so he might abandon the crown after all. Or it only means he’ll continue as before, never trying to change Norta because he’s unable to believe in reforms to begin with –

He’s focused on me, full of interest while not understanding me at all and I want to scream.

Instead I cup his head in my hands and kiss him. He joins in, stunned but rejoicing and I notice his yearning when I pull away a little, to switch from lips to neck, to murmur, “you idiot”, or, “how could you”. But I don’t stop, granting myself the pleasure and the power I have over him, for now. Although this is merely an illusion, no matter how hard he kisses me, how demanding his hands are as they scout my body, and no matter how the heat rises around him, I’m not enough to divert him from his throne, nor do I want to be. He’s the one who should’ve learned.

I break the kiss, leaving both of us panting, him flushed with a pale sheen of Silver and me pink and ruddy.

“Mare,” he whispers, taking me in, happily disbelieving what’s happening. Then his excitement wavers, and I guess which sight upsets him. I fumble in my pocket for the ear stud he gave me and hold it up between us. His unease becomes more apparent, confirming me I assumed right.

“Have I told you how my brothers gave me earring when they were conscripted?” I say, aware I already did. But I pretend otherwise and continue. “I’ve come to inform you that I’m going away as well, so I want to give you this.”

Tiberias squints his eyes. “Will you take it?” I inquire and he nods decidedly.

“Yes.” He leans further over the desk and I sit down on top of it while I prepare to pierce his ear. I delay the act, enjoying every second, like he does.

“It might hurt for a few days,” I state, calmer than I feel. “And I doubt a skinhealer could help with that.”

“Oh, that’s okay, I’m not – ow!”  

His gasp lures a faint chuckle out of me. The hands that pierced his ear now linger on his cheeks and for the last time, I make a memory of his simmering bronze eyes. But I pull away the moment I feel a touch against my fingers; it’s Tiberias checking on his sore ear. “Don’t touch it too much,” I chastise him, softly. I shake my head.

“Good night,” I say, “fare well.” I slide off the desk, stumble over his chair and dash out of his room and along the corridors.

Nothing about last night was a good idea. I slept only in short intervals and had to get up just three hours after I laid down. Of course, that’s not the main problem, even though it’s easy to pretend it is to the other passengers on the plane. Tiredness and headaches are welcome excuses when Cameron wonders why I make an especially poor move in the same game of cards we played on the way to Corvium. The play only wakes memories of that trip, and how different everything was between Tiberias and me, lest I forget last night and how it showed me what could be.

I don’t want this. And despite my lack of concentration, I play on until Cameron has to think I act uncannily. Though there’s neither a storm outside nor a battle waiting for us, I have to take care to keep my electricity in check, so it won’t interfere with the plane’s functions. I realize it’s the first time I’m flying without Tiberias, or at least I can’t remember one. I catch Rafe looking at me once, when I lose another match and emit sparks as I drop my hand.

“These boxes are too small for us,” he says with an encouraging smile, and for the first time today, I have to smile back, without faking a good humour.

“Yes, we’re like the storm clouds planes hate more than anything.”

His answer is a laughter that fills the large cabin, and I and those around us have to fall in. I’m the storm, I tell myself, I won’t be caged again.

It’s still august, and thus, although a month has passed, the heat of Piedmont hits me when I exit the plane. The sunlight is an unexpected but welcome comfort. Not so for some other passengers, Farley among them, who take off their jackets immediately. I switch to observe my surroundings. The landing place is as good as empty, only a few people and transports wait for us. One of them is the colonel who was in charge of the base in the absence of Davidson and the generals.

“Hello, look who’s there!” I spin on my heel, startled by the call at me, and see my brother.

“Bree! Hi!” I squeak to my surprise. I rise to my toes and fall into his arms while he picks me up so I no longer touch the ground. I almost expect him to start twisting us.

“Welcome back, Operative Barrow,” he says into my hair, still holding me tight. “I’m sure you did important stuff, but you could’ve messaged us a little more often.”

He speaks with a smile in his voice and I reciprocate his joy. “Good to see you too, you giant,” I answer. “How’s the family doing?”

He lets me down. “Oh, good, good. Hmm, I’m here as a driver, but I can stop and let you out at home.” He winks at me and gestures to a shuttle bus, then pats my cheeks, suddenly more serious. “I’m really happy to see you here again, Mare. I’m glad every time when someone returns.”

I stand with him and help while he guides the soldiers into his bus and I’m amazed by his professional politeness while I just manage to greet those people I know and try to subdue my nervousness about meeting my family. When Bree’s about to get in, Farley’s the last one to enter.

In the bus, Cameron watches her curiously. Her lasting observation ears her a glare from Farley. “What?” she snaps finally.

Cameron giggles. She’s loosened her braids recently so her hair surrounds her like a cloud. Together with her amusement, it makes her look much younger. “You seem weirdly gloomy but aren’t actually gloomy so I think you’re trying to hide something awkward,” she ponders.

It makes Farley gape, then biting her lip. She lets us wait for an answer. “The colonel explicitly told me he can wait with a briefing,” she mumbles finally. “Even patted my shoulder,” she adds. “Really awkward.” Cameron’s laugh is contagious.

Only Farley and I exit when the bus stops close to my family’s house. “If that wasn’t conspicuous,” Farley remarks.

“Aren’t you authorized to make some exceptions?” I retort, to which she hmphs.

Dad opens the door for us and I’m still stunned to see him on his feet. He hugs me and shakes Farley’s hand before he guides us in. “Only Mom and I are here,” he says. “Oh, and the little one too. The others are out on some duties, but they’ll return for lunch.”

Mom has less sense for a polite welcome. She tries to hide her joy and chastises us instead. “Girls, now tell me what that video was about? We hardly got reports about you at all! And your father, Diana, was especially sparse with information.”

“I’ll inform him.”

“Oh, I did already. But why did you think it was okay to leave me alone with this storms-crying child?”

“Ruth, we all helped you,” Dad calls in and Farley blinks, obviously embarrassed.

“Well, she wasn’t a cry-baby when I – “ Farley replies helplessly. “I just hope she’ll recognize me still …” Then Clara cries from somewhere.

Mom shakes her head, though grinning. “Really, this discontendedness – Clara must’ve gotten that from you.” But Farley’s already off to find Clara in her basket on the couch. The baby’s crying was short-lived.

“Thank you so much, Ruth,” Farley says before she turns her full attention on Clara. “Hello Clara, my little dove. Did you miss me? Mama missed you terribly …” As she takes the baby into her arms, I feel Mom’s hand on my back too.

My siblings indeed come home for lunch, as does Kilorn. Their solidarity is impressing, and a great comfort. I love my family and I’ll fight for them, no matter which side Tiberias is on. I won’t lose anyone else of them again.

Once we finished eating and Kilorn and my siblings are slowly getting ready to return to their tasks, Clara wakes and cries again.

“Hey, let’s see if you like some lunch as well,” Farley mutters to her and goes to a bedroom. Suddenly, I find myself alone with Mom.

“Mare, why don’t you tell me what really weighs you down?” she asks and pulls me close. I don’t want to speak at first, rather dissemble in the same way I did in the last month.

“I …”

“I know you like to run away, and that’s fine. Sometimes, it’s the only way. But I’ll wait for you, Mare. I’m always there.”

I’ve seen Mom break anyone’s defenses, including mine. Yet when my tears start to fall and I begin to talk, it feels different. Something is me has broken, but something is patched as well. 

A/N 2: If Farley feels guilty, that is my fault, having her stay at Corvium for a freaking month without thinking first -.-°. Maybe Aveyard will know better and see her return after two days or so ;-) And I’m aware the “I’m the storm” line reminds of acomaf, so I tried to change a wording a little ;-)

@clarafarleybarrow @mareshmallow @calliopexclio @hannaharies @redqueenfandom @spookysamos @lilyharvord @red-queen-united @mikey-waysjawline @runexandra

[thegoldenyears-memories]

✦ THE ONLY HOPE FOR ME IS YOU ✦ // a lorcan & aurora mix

                                                            ( listen / download )

❝ you’re my peace in this chaotic world. ❞ 

                   un mix para aurora y lorcan, la luz que ella necesitaba desde siempre.

01. DETAILS IN THE FABRIC de jason mraz ft. james morrison ( calm down, deep breaths, and get yourself dressed instead of running around and pulling on your threads and breaking yourself up. if it’s a broken part, replace it. if it’s a broken arm, then brace it. if it’s a broken heart, then face it. and hold your own, know your name and go your own way. hang on, help is on the way. and stay strong, i’m doing everything. everything will be fine, everything in no time at all. )

02. TROUBLE de coldplay ( oh no, i see a spider web is tangled up with me. and i lost my head and thought of all the stupid things i’d said. oh no what’s this, a spider web and i’m caught in the middle. so i turn to run and thought of all the stupid things i’d done. and i, i never meant to cause you trouble. )

03. OK de holly conlan ( i do my best to save myself, but i don’t have time to save nobody else. i tune out voices when they talk. i say i care, but they do not know they walk the walk. i got no dream, i’m black or white, but i can’t stand the in between. i’m all bruised up, and i don’t think that life is fair. i build up walls no one can climb and i tear them down, this process takes up all my time. but then something about the way that you look at me, makes it feel okay. )

04. ROSE-COLORED BOY de paramore ( rose-colored boy, i hear you making all that noise about the world you want to see. and oh, i’m so annoyed, ‘cause i just killed off what was left of the optimist in me. hearts are breaking, wars are raging on. you got me nervous, i’m right at the end of my rope. a half-empty girl. don’t make me laugh, i’ll choke. and i want you to stop insisting that i’m not a lost cause, 'cause i’ve been through a lot. leave me here a little bit longer, i think i wanna stay in the car, i don’t want anybody seeing me cry now. you say “we gotta look on the bright side”, i say “well maybe if you wanna go blind”. you say my eyes are getting too dark now, but boy, you ain’t ever seen my mind. just let me cry a little bit longer, i ain’t gon’ smile if i don’t want to. hey, man, we all can’t be like you, i wish we were all rose-colored too, my rose-colored boy. )

05. TODAY THE SUN’S ON US de sophie ellis-bextor ( i can see you’re somewhere far away, caught in another place where nothings going right. shouldn’t worry about the worst that could be. when you’re here beside me, don’t look for troubled times, now when everything is fine. there’s no rain, there’s no storm, though the blue sky makes you wonder. don’t you fear, what will come, will come. and right now we’re in the sun. sure enough, seasons change. but don’t let today get lost, 'cause today the sun’s on us. you’re so restless, underneath the surface. don’t you think i notice? it’s something you can’t hide when you’re fighting with the tide. but you’ve got to let it go and just accept the things you can’t control. don’t let your shadow spoil the view of what’s around you. )

06. EVERYBODY HURTS de the corrs ( don’t let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes. sometimes everything is wrong, now it’s time to sing along. when your day is night alone, hold on, hold on. if you feel like letting go, hold on. if you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on. when you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you’re not alone. )

07. FIX YOU de coldplay ( when you try your best, but you don’t succeed. when you get what you want, but not what you need. when you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep, stuck in reverse. and the tears come streaming down your face. when you lose something you can’t replace. could it be worse? but if you never try you’ll never know just what you’re worth. lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and i will try to fix you. )

08. CRY de jason walker ( oh no, where did all the years go. and was it really worth all of this heartache that was handed to me? holding on just don’t make sense, but the hardest part of letting go is tryin’ to find a way to let you know. so let’s just cry, cry on each other’s shoulders, cry until it’s over, can’t it just be over? )

09. WHEN THE STORM HAS BLOWN OVER de sophie ellis-bextor ( like a flower that cannot bloom or the snow that falls in june, you’re a thirst that’s never quenched. when the storm has blown over we’ll start again. like a wound that never heals or the sorrow you can’t conceal. don’t be so numb, your time will come. so pick it up from where you left. carry on. it’s enough to be strong if we both weather the storm. like a star that never dies or a broken lullaby, i can see you need a friend. when the storm has blown over we’ll start again. )

10. WE ALL FALL DOWN de meiko ( i know that you need me, i’ll be there this evenin’, i will bring you flowers, we can talk for hours. anything to make your mind take a breather, i will never leave here knowing that you need a friend. life has a way of throwin’ us a challenge, i know every now and then you deserve to win. i know that the outcome may not be the right one, but it can’t be undone and i know where you’re comin’ from. with a little space and a little try, it won’t be erased but you’ll be fine. take the things you hate and throw them all away. there’s more to this in life. hey, hey, hey, we all fall down sometimes. )

11. STOP CRYING YOUR HEART OUT de oasis ( hold up, hold on, don’t be scared. you’ll never change what’s been and gone. may your smile shine on. 'cause all of the stars are fading away. just try not to worry, you’ll see them some day. take what you need and be on your way, and stop crying your heart out. )

12. THE DRESS LOOKS NICE ON YOU de sufjan stevens ( i can see a lot of life in you, i can see a lot of bright in you, and i think the dress looks nice on you. )

13. THE DEPARTURE de max richter ( instrumental )

14. SAVIOUR de lights ( i’m a bit of a manic when it’s not as i plan it , 'cause i start losing my head then i get up in a panic. it will never change if you want it to stay the same. i really hate it but i know it’s hard to choose if you’re chained. and when it’s all you control 'cause you got nothing else to hold, you’re getting tighter and tighter , it’s getting harder to let it go. stand me up and maybe i won’t be so small. free my hands and feet and maybe i won’t always fall, save me.i just wanna run to you and break off the chains and throw them away. i just wanna be so much and shake off the dust that turn me to rust. )

15. WHEN THE MORNING COMES de marit larsen ( you find your truth, then live it out. you find your song, go play it loud. the sweetest air, will fill your lungs. you’ll breathe it in when morning comes. and when the veil is stripped away and reveals the silver lining, all the hope, the rising sun, you’ll feel it when the morning comes. )

16. LULLABY de emmy rossum ( laying alone with the history that made you cold and uncertain inside. well careful now, deep breath, the water’s still rising, but your silver lining’s in sight. when you feel like you’re breaking down and your body’s just giving in, and you can’t go on broken like this any longer. close your eyes, don’t you cry, let the sorrow within you subside. don’t despair, have no fear. give your weight to me when you hear this lullaby. you say all seems so wrong with the life that you’re living. you’re feeling unworthy, aching for comfort tonight. )

17. TONIGHT de lykke li ( watch my back so i make sure, you’re right behind me as before, yesterday the night before tomorrow. dry my eyes so you won’t know, dry my eyes so i won’t show, i know you’re right behind me. we know them all, i know it all, stay put and play along, 'cause i’m looking for my friend, now i got you, got you. i dry my eye, dry my eye, falling deeper by the hour. don’t let me fall deeper now, dry my eye. don’t you let me go, let me go tonight. )

18. THIS WOMAN’S WORK de greg laswell ( i should be crying, but i just can’t let it show, i should be hoping but i can’t stop thinking of all the things i should’ve said but i never said. and all the things we should’ve done but we never did. and all the things we should’ve given but i didn’t. oh, my darling make it go, make it go away. give me these moments back, give them back to me. give me your hand. i know you have a little life in you yet, i know you have a lot of strength left. )

19. DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY de bobby mcferrin ( here’s a little song i wrote, you might want to sing it note for note, don’t worry, be happy. in every life we have some trouble, when you worry you make it double. here i give you my phone number, when you worry call me, i make you happy. listen to what i say, in your life expect some trouble, when you worry you make it double. don’t worry, be happy, be happy now. )

20. STAND BY YOU de rachel platten ( hands, put your empty hands in mine. and scars, show me all the scars you hide. and hey, if your wings are broken, please take mine so yours can open, too. 'cause i’m gonna stand by you. oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes. and hurt, i know you’re hurting, but so am i. even if we’re breaking down, we can find a way to break through. even if we can’t find heaven, i’ll walk through hell with you. love, you’re not alone, 'cause i’m gonna stand by you. i’ll be your eyes 'til yours can shine. and i’ll be your arms, i’ll be your steady satellite. and when you can’t rise, well, i’ll crawl with you on hands and knees. )

21. STRANGER de katie costello ( stranger i’ve known you for so long, i found you lost with a compass in the fog. )

22. WINTER NEVER LASTS FOREVER de marit larsen ( winter never lasts forever. pain will change and hope will grow. broken hearts can keep on beating, bend and break and keep believing. )

23. YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME de imogen heap ( you know where to find me, for no particular reason, for stop traffic behavior or to get something off your chest. won’t you be, be still with me? you know where to find me if you think it’s all over. you could be screaming drunk, well i’ve got my bad days too, i’m gonna be here for you. if you want to be alone, if you’d rather die then tell you’ll know where i’ll be, where to find me for hard talk to call it off or bring it on. a proposal, if you’re broken, i’ll be here, i’ll be here for your secrets, for a breather. )

24. TIME AFTER TIME de iron & wine ( if you’re lost, you can look and you will find me, time after time. if you fall, i will catch you, i’ll be waiting, time after time. )

25. PATIENCE de the lumineers ( instrumental )

26. TIED TOGETHER WITH A SMILE de taylor swift ( seems the only one who doesn’t see your beauty is the face in the mirror looking back at you. you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty, but that’s not true 'cause i know you. hold on, baby, you’re losing it. the water’s high, you’re jumping into it and letting go. and no one knows that you cry, but you don’t tell anyone that you might not be the golden one. and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone. )

27. HATE TO SEE YOUR HEART BREAK de paramore ( there is not a single word in the whole world that could describe the hurt. the dullest knife just sawing back and forth and ripping through the softest skin there ever was. how were you to know? oh, how were you to know? and i, i hate to see your heart break, i hate to see your eyes get darker as they close. for all the air that’s in your lungs, for all the joy that is to come, for all the things that you’re alive to feel, just let the pain remind you hearts can heal. ther. )

28. VARÐELDUR de sigur rós ( instrumental )

29. GOD ONLY KNOWS de stormi bree ( god only knows what i’d be without you. )

30. BREATHE ME de sia ( instrumental )

🎅 ¡feliz navidad y año nuevo, emma! 🎅

de: ANDY ( @dorcasdoemeadowes )

para: EMMA ( @lxrcandexth )

Emmo:

Que onda ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Me tocó regalarte y yo fui muy feliz porque amo a Lorcan y tú eres mi bebé, así que aquí estamos. Te traigo un mix lleno de canciones de Lorcan a Aurora que dice: Ya cálmate, no mames. El gráfico Glencan ya lo había hecho antes y tbh ando obsesionada con Lorcan y Aurora y mi corazón no podía ignorarlo.

Soy muy mala en estas cosas, but we try. Te quiero mucho y gracias por mandarme ánimos cuando lo necesito. Siempre es fun leerte y gracias por esta hermosa amistad-ship-lo que sea que me has dado. Ojalá te guste mucho el mix y llores conmigo.

Espero este año sea muy bueno contigo y que cualquier herida que tengas, sane. Te deseo lo mejor, sabes que quiero que seas feliz así que ojalá recibas todo lo que necesites y sean más momentos buenos que malos. *La apachurra*

Feliz Navidad y año nuevo atrasados alv. Ojalá hayan estado chidos.

Te quiero muuuuuucho <3. Gracias por pensar siempre tan bien de mí *llora*.

                                                           andy.

[mysticalnonfictionworld]

Until We Meet Again

By: Trish Yzelle Delumen and Ella Esquilona

Ever since I was a child, I learned that my future was already set in stone. My family already knew that the apple of their eyes was meant only for him. I was only 5 years old; wasn’t able to share their burdens as it was too early for me to fathom the communal braids connected with him. Since then, they’ve imprisoned me. I was imprisoned in my own castle. No one tried to rescue me, still, I managed to light a fire inside of me. It helped me to ease the emptiness lurking in my heart.

I spent my formative years thinking that we were going to be together someday. Our distance never stopped me from believing that we were meant for each other. He was in Manila, while I was the girl from a distant town on the edge of Sorsogon. But it did not get in between us. Even at an early age, my family has already bought a place in Manila-for us to settle , as if we were destined to be together there, living our lives in harmony. For 12 years, I did everything I could do to guarantee our union in Manila. I studied hard. I constantly made sure to be the cream of the crop in our school. My hardships were paid off as I was the valedictorian in elementary school. It was an oddly competitive and almost cutthroat environment, for a sea of gifted children. But I fought my way to the top, for his sake.

My high school years flew swiftly like a breeze. Children of my age were busy playing under the sea while I was busy succeeding in the fields of exams, projects, and extracurricular activities. I have no seconds to waste. Untiringly, I competed with other honor students for the prestige of grade rankings. I cried when I did not make it to the first place. I shed tears knowing that one failure could prevent me from what felt like my destined union. Senior High School came and my heart chose Ateneo De Naga. It was the closest I’ve been to him. My heart longed for him. I was locked away from him. I felt that we were like stars; so close yet so far. Although the gap between us was shortened, still, it was a long way to go. The culture shock of being a student in a warren of opportunities, the thousand miles away from home, the dialect differences, a lonesome start in a school filled with masks –all of these, I soldiered through it all just to be with him. I continued my academic-centered lifestyle; burned the midnight oil every now and then; adapted to the struggles of my very becoming as a student; all the way from Sorsogon, battling the sea of waves here in Naga just to sail with him- my anchor. Eventually, I learned how to make the night an extension of daylight.  I went through all of this just to be with him. In the end, all of that was for his sake.

As my medal and certificate were already at reach,  As my feet were already ready to march unto the next journey of this milestone; I got too excited to see him- to be able to finally be with him in the sturdy yet tranquil streets of Manila. The closer the entrance exam dates came, the more I felt intense. I even sacrificed a lot of things; my sleep, my efforts, my health, and my happiness. I had my choice from the very beginning; it’s either him or nothing. In the end, my heart, which was shuddered in delight, was turned into shredded pieces. I was rejected. I was not good enough for him. I felt nothing but the storm-filled voice that resonates with the dislocation of my body and passion in continuing my dreams.

“O? Kay nano diri ka nakapasa? Diba nagreview ka man? Nano man an kulang sidto na imo pagreview-review?” I was lost with words. I couldn’t speak. Right. my family was right  Staring at the mirror, eyes wide open, I asked myself;        “Am I not enough for him?” He was my biggest desire, but also my biggest downfall. I built myself for him, but what I had wasn’t enough.  I was building up an Ignatian empire, totally forgetting to build up a soldier in me first.

I was lost in my own world, but it gave me wisdom; certainty was not always guaranteed. When my prayers of success were met with indifference, I carried on and brought my own deliverance.

My heart will now bleed green in La Salle. But my entirety will always be for him- my Ateneo De Manila. Until we meet again.

[jeremystrele]

The Best Of Our Family Column in 2019!

The Best Of Our Family Column in 2019!

Family

by Sally Tabart

Clare and her husband Marty at home with her twin sons Oscar and Elijah (12) and daughter Asha (16). Flowers by Babylon Flowers. Plants by Hello Botanical. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare Bowditch On Overcoming Self-Doubt + Being Your Own Kind Of Girl

What do you find works best for you in overcoming your self-doubt? I know you named your anxiety ‘Frank’, which is great.

‘Frank’ is an umbrella title for a feeling of foreboding. I came up with it during the very early recovery stage of my breakdown, when I didn’t really know how to separate my emotions. Now I know it was just anxiety that needed training. Reading Jack Kornfield helped a lot, as did a really practical little book by Dr Claire Weekes called Peace from Nervous Suffering. She was a stalwart of the Australian post-war veteran field. She helped people deal with anxiety before it really had a name. Slowly, slowly I was able to work past it, but it took until I was 27 to have the guts to put my own songs in the world. I’d been building that courage from age 21. I still have self-doubt, but these days it can motivate me. It tells me I’m onto something. My songs have always sat in me like pets. I can’t rush them. They come when they’re ready and my job is to make room for them. So I just keep showing up with my pen and paper.

Revisit our original interview with Clare Bowditch here!

Anthony and Catherine have ‘become tedious, active seniors’ hitting the gym at 6am! Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Catherine hopes her boys to embrace the notion of logical, not biological, family. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Author + Comedian Catherine Deveny On Raising A Trio Of Boys

You’ve written on what you term ‘the narcissism of motherhood… the competition and judging each other from labour to Year 12 results to grandchildren.’ It’s so true, but why? I imagine you have an excellent approach for dealing with this or calling it out?  

Sometimes I say, ‘That’s amazing about your high achieving, good looking, well-balanced kids – congrats! My kids play computer games, watch porn and make bongs.’ I won’t enable their competition parenting. When they ask, ‘What school do your kids go to?’ I respond, ‘What difference does it make?’ and flat out refuse to answer until they give me a rational answer. They never do.

Revisit our no-holds-barred interview with Catherine Deveny here!

With artwork for his latest exhibition The Space Into Bicheno opening on September 18th. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Artist Julian Meagher On Creating Through The Parenting Fog

Has fatherhood influenced the way you paint?

One of the biggest challenges in painting, or any creative outlet I would imagine, is to not overcook it. Fatherhood has forced me to let the work live and breathe on its own. I am painting with a lot more freedom. When I start a work I feel like I am actually now taking a run-up before I jump off the cliff. Fatherhood has forced me to accept that I’m not in control of anything at all, and nothing is really about me, so I feel more comfortable taking risks. I’m making a lot more failed paintings than I used to, but I’m making a lot more really successful ones too, I think.

Revisit the original story here.

Chloe Brookman and her family at home in Byron Bay. Photo – Lisa Sorgini.

The Co-Founder of Olli Ella Talks Business + Babies

What have you learned about yourself across your parenting journey? What do you need to be the most effective parent you can be?

To keep a sense of humour and to not try to be perfect, because it’s impossible. You will make yourself miserable in the process. I’ve learned to really sit with the chaos and the mayhem, to not wish away a second of it because it goes by too quickly.

Revisit the original story here.

Meika, 3, also started kinder – it has been a big year for the family! Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co. for  The Design Files.

Hendrix, 5, started school as Sophie began her debut AFLW season this year. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co. for  The Design Files.

Meet AFLW Forward And Mum Of Two Sophie Abbatangelo

It’s been said that sport has the power to effect cultural change and advance gender equity. What does it mean to you, and your daughter Meika, to be a part of this?

I grew up watching men in my family play football, from my Dad and brother to my uncles and cousins. Even though I preferred to kick with the boys, I was still supported when I wanted to play competition.

I have always been passionate about equal rights and recognition, not just for athletes but for women in general. If Meika grows up to love sport as much as I do, I feel confident that she’ll be encouraged and accepted within any sport she chooses to play. And if she does aspire to play football, it excites me to think how amazing she could be with the talent and growth that is coming through now. I just hope she uses her strength and ferocity in competitive sport rather than on Hendrix and me!

As for following in my footsteps, I hope she feels empowered to challenge herself with things she might find difficult and if she does choose a sporting pathway, listens to her coaches and finds herself a great group of friends.

Revisit the original story here.

Que and Alfie (4) at home. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Que Minh Luu Talks Parenting Through Producing, Class Systems + Grief

What’s your experience with self-doubt? Any advice on how to not let it stop you doing ‘The Thing’?

I think age really helps. I’m in a job now that gives me some level of agency to make some kind of change, but for years I was highly anxious and full of self-doubt. I had a really great partner and he was my cheer squad, critic and fellow brainstormer. All through my 20s, I just couldn’t visualise where I wanted to be and how I was going to do it. He helped me to be strategic, rather than just focussing on whatever problem was in front of my nose. I spent a lot of time being afraid of looking like an idiot and now I’m okay with being an idiot.

Revisit original story here.

John, Augie and Alison cruising around Collingwood. Photo – Sarah Collins.

Alison Bell On The Joys And Humiliations Of Working Mum Life

How do you work through the guilt that comes with being away from home?

I am no role model there. It’s really, really tough. One consolation, and this is going to sound overly earnest and ridiculous, is that I believe in the work that I’m doing. I know not everyone has that luxury. I’m in a very privileged position where I get to practice my craft and make something I believe in. It does help to acknowledge that fact and recognise this great opportunity I’ve got. I can’t pretend that the feedback doesn’t help. That probably sounds ego-driven, but I don’t want to make work that doesn’t speak to people. I don’t want to put all of my creative/work energy into something that no one connects with.

Revisit original story here.

Royce is the Creative Director of VICE Australia, where he’s been working for the last 11 years. Photo – Sarah Collins.

Kalu and Royce make RIDICULOUSLY cute kids! Photo – Sarah Collins.

VICE Australia’s Creative Director Royce Akers On Dad Guilt + Life In The Suburbs

What’s your experience with Dad guilt? Is it a thing?

I feel guilty about constantly talking about them. I feel guilty when I’m not with them. When I get mad at them I feel guilty afterward. So without googling Dad Guilt, I’m pretty sure I get it from time to time. I’ve had other Dads tell me they feel guilty watching Bluey. The Dad on that show has become a low-key role model, which is hilarious and awesome.

Revisit the original story here.

The family pictured with the newest addition, Veda (4 months). Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Stripping-Down The Family-Business Juggle With Pop + Scott

Moving across time, how might you like the girls to remember you to their own families – what do you think your parental legacy will be?

I’d love for them to remember us as a team! That their Mama and Papa were equals, and that their roles in caring for them and the family home were shared.

Revisit the original story here.

[onestowatch]

Gavin Haley and Ella Vos Take a Hard Look At Themselves in “The Way I Am”

Singer-songwriter Gavin Haley has teamed up with LA-based musician Ella Vos on “The Way I Am,” creating a glossy duet that builds a soundscape of sentimentality. With songs like “96” and “Sad Season,” Haley introduced us to his unique genre-bending instrumentation and transparent lyrics, dripping in honestly and coated in reflection. Coming off of his most recent release, “Show Me,” the pro-cyclist-turned-musician’s newest single gives us a genuine glimpse into Haley’s own world.

“The Way I Am” feels as if we’re watching Haley view himself in the mirror. It’s awfully intimate and remarkably sincere. Haley’s voice floats over a soothing aural synth while he laments over his learned inability to be vulnerable. He sings of feeling stuck “like a deer in the headlights” when he wants to show authentic affection. In this song, the pop-pair of Haley and Vos are both deeply introspective and apologetic about their flaws. Haley and Vos’ voices swirl around one another on this song in a way that creates goosebumps. 

About collaborating with Vos, Haley said,

“Ella is a beautiful human. We were able to relate a lot outside of music and that made the process so fun to be a part of. I love when people are pushing to be the best versions of themselves and Ella is a perfect example. ‘The Way I Am’ is a special song.”

Catch Gavin Haley supporting Ashe on her “Mom’s First Headline Tour” this fall:

9/10 - Washington, DC - Union Stage 9/11 - Philadelphia, PA - World Cafe Live 9/13 - Boston, MA - Brighton Music Hall 9/15 - Uncasville, CT - Wolf Den 9/16 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom 9/18 - Cleveland, OH - HOB Cambridge Room 9/19 - Toronto, ONT - Velvet Underground 9/20 - Detroit, MI - Shelter 9/22 - Nashville, TN - Basement East 9/23 - St. Louis, MO - Blueberry Hill 9/24 - Chicago, IL - Chop Shop 9/26 - St. Paul, MN - Amsterdam 9/27 - Kansas City, MO - Encore 9/29 - Salty Lake City, UT - Kilby Court 10/2 - Denver, CO - Moon Room 10/5 - Vancouver, BC - Fortune Sound Club 10/6 - Seattle, WA - Crocodile 10/7 - Portland, OR - Holocene 10/9 - Sacramento, CA - Holy Diver 10/10 - San Francisco, CA - Rickshaw Stop 10/12 - Santa Cruz, CA - Catalyst Atrium 10/14 - Los Angeles, CA - Troubadour 10/17 - San Diego, CA - HOB Voodoo Room 10/18 - Phoenix, AZ - Rebel Lounge 10/21- Dallas, TX - HOB Cambridge Room 10/22 - Houston, TX - HOB Peacock Room 10/23 Austin, TX - Parish 10/25 - Atlanta, GA - Aisle 5

[johnsoedercc]

I wrote this profile of record producer extraordinaire and philanthropist Tommy LiPuma for The Plain Dealer, on the occasion of a Tri-C JazzFest salute to him that coincided with the “Modern American Masters: Highlights From the Gill and Tommy LiPuma Collection” exhibition at the Cleveland Museum of Art.

The Art of Tommy LiPuma

By John Soeder published April 11, 2004, in The Plain Dealer

NEW YORK – Yes, he produced a chart-topping album for Barbra Streisand.

And yes, he also had a hand in Grammy-winning recordings by George Benson, Natalie Cole and Diana Krall.

Running down the mile-long list of his accomplishments as a record producer and music industry executive, however, it’s easy to overlook one of Tommy LiPuma’s most truly remarkable achievements:

He made a Wham! fan out of Miles Davis.

The late, great jazz trumpeter visited LiPuma at home in the 1980s to discuss working together. LiPuma popped a cassette by the George Michael-fronted pop group of “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” fame into the stereo.

Davis “freaked out,” LiPuma says. “He loved it.”

Who knew?

LiPuma recounts the story over lunch at Sistina, his favorite Italian restaurant. It’s not open for lunch, mind you – unless you’re Tommy LiPuma, in which case you and a guest have the dining room all to yourselves on a snowy March afternoon.

Such are the perks when you’re chairman of the world’s largest jazz record company, Verve Music Group. LiPuma, a former Clevelander, has held the title since 1998.

He’ll be back in his hometown this week for the 25th annual Tri-C JazzFest. Benson, Krall, Dr. John, Joe Lovano, Jimmy Scott and others perform Saturday at Playhouse Square’s Allen Theatre in a salute to LiPuma, 67.

“I’m honored,” he says. “On the other hand, it makes you wonder: Are you coming toward the twilight of your career? Frankly, I feel I’m at the top of my game.”

LiPuma co-produced three albums for Davis, starting with 1986’s “Tutu.” It included a cover of “Perfect Way,” originally done by Scritti Politti, another 1980s pop act that LiPuma brought to the attention of Davis.

“He wasn’t what I call a jazz cop,” LiPuma says. “He loved all kinds of music.”

Ditto LiPuma. He wholeheartedly buys into the old Duke Ellington maxim: There are only two kinds of music – the good kind and the other kind.

LiPuma’s latest productions are albums by Al Jarreau and Krall.

Veteran vocalist Jarreau’s “Accentuate the Positive” is due in stores Tuesday, Aug. 3. LiPuma was behind the mixing board for two previous Jarreau releases, “Glow” (1976) and the live double album “Look to the Rainbow” (1977).

“He’s a brilliant producer,” says Jarreau, who performs Friday at the Allen Theatre as part of the JazzFest’s “Silver on Silver” salute to another LiPuma client, hard-bop pianist Horace Silver.

LiPuma has a knack for “knowing artists, knowing what they do, allowing them to do it and then pushing them where he thinks their strengths are — and beyond those strengths,” Jarreau says.

While working on his new album, Jarreau found himself scatting the melody of “Groovin’ High,” a Charlie Parker-Dizzy Gillespie chestnut: “Duh-dut, duh-dut-dut, bah-doo-bee-ooh-bee-ooh-duh-dut’ll-doo-day.…”

LiPuma’s ears pricked up. “Is there a lyric, Al?” he asked.

“Well, I’ve thought about doing a lyric for it,” Jarreau replied.

LiPuma encouraged him to go for it.

Jarreau did. The finished track turned out to be “one of my best efforts,” he says.

Krall’s new album, “The Girl in the Other Room,” comes out Tuesday, April 27. It features six songs co-written by the singer-pianist and her husband, rocker Elvis Costello.

LiPuma co-produced “The Girl in the Other Room” with Krall, whom he refers to as “my baby.” He has overseen seven of her eight albums.

“Tommy is my ears — he can hear things I can’t hear,” Krall said in a 2001 interview with The Plain Dealer. “He loves music, art, beauty and all the meaningful things in life, including really good wine.”

At Sistina, LiPuma orders a bowl of pasta. It arrives perfectly al dente and prepared, per his specifications, with cherry tomatoes. A seafood dish follows in short order.

“This is the branzino,” LiPuma says, digging into the Italian-style sea bass. “Delicious!”

Between sips of espresso in the afterglow of the meal, he’ll gladly tell you about working with ultradiva Streisand on “The Way We Were,” her 1974 No. 1 album: “She knows exactly what she wants.”

Or the truth behind “Weekend in L.A.,” singer-guitarist Benson’s 1977 live album: “It wasn’t really as live as it sounded…. We had to redo the vocals.”

Or the emotional experience of recording the title track of Cole’s 1991 “Unforgettable” album, a virtual duet between the singer and her late father, Nat “King” Cole: “When we did it, it stopped all of us in our tracks.”

Lawyers, accountants running the show

LiPuma lights up when he talks about music. But his mood turns somber when the conversation turns to the music business.

“The sooner corporate America gets out of it, the happier I’m going to be,” he says.

Verve Music Group is the parent company of four record labels: Verve, Impulse!, GRP (which LiPuma ran in the 1990s) and Blue Thumb (where LiPuma worked in the late ’60s and early ’70s with such acts as Dan Hicks and Dave Mason).

In addition to a catalog rich with jazz greats (Ellington, Count Basie, John Coltrane, Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday, among others), the company’s current artist roster includes the likes of Krall, Jarreau, Benson, violinist Regina Carter and keyboardist Herbie Hancock.

Verve Music Group is a subsidiary of the world’s leading music company, Universal Music Group, which had revenues of $6 billion in 2003. Universal (itself a division of multinational media conglomerate Vivendi Universal) does not release specific financial data for its subsidiaries.

“The record business used to be basically a group of entrepreneurs … who made gut decisions and ran their own ships,” LiPuma says. “They didn’t have to worry about making their quarter or if Wall Street was going to give them its blessing. They were music people.

"Today, with a few exceptions, you have lawyers and accountants running the show. It’s very unfortunate.”

LiPuma has delegated the day-to-day responsibilities (read: headaches) of running Verve Music Group to his second-in-command, President and CEO Ron Goldstein.

“I handle the creative aspects,” LiPuma says. “When you make records, all you want is the right performance…. As a producer, everything is about waiting for the moment when the artist drops a magic take. One of the most important parts of my job is knowing when the moment happens.”

Magic has struck in the studio time and again for LiPuma, who has made more than 20 gold, platinum or multiplatinum records. He also has won three Grammy Awards: Record of the Year in 1976 for Benson’s smash “This Masquerade,” Album of the Year in 1991 for Cole’s “Unforgettable” and Best Jazz Vocal Album in 2002 for Krall’s “Live in Paris.”

The way he was: Cleveland roots

Born in Cleveland to Italian immigrants, LiPuma was the youngest of five children. His brothers, Joe and Henry, and sister Therese still live in the area; another sister, Josephine, died in 1984.

LiPuma’s family moved often when he was young, from Cleveland’s Kinsman neighborhood to University Heights to Warrensville Heights to Beachwood.

“The radio was always on in our house,” LiPuma says. “In those days, it was Bing Crosby, the Andrews Sisters, Jo Stafford.

"Some way or another, I ended up where I ended up. But I’m a pop junkie. I love great pop music.

"By the time I was 18, I loved bebop — Charlie Parker, Horace Silver, all those guys. But it didn’t take away from my love for pop music.”

When he was 9, LiPuma developed osteomyelitis, a debilitating bone infection. He spent nearly three years laid up in bed.

“The radio became my friend,” he says. “I discovered the R&B station in those days, WJMO, and I started hearing Charles Brown, Louis Jordan, Nat Cole and Ruth Brown. I was a complete R&B nut by the time I was 12.

"Then I started playing saxophone…. I’ll never forget: The music teacher at Shaker Heights Junior High School gave me an F in music because I didn’t show up for a concert.”

LiPuma dropped out of school when he was 18, although he only made it through 10th grade. His illness had left him two grades behind his friends. “I felt out of place,” he says.

By then, he was earning $25 a night playing sax in local clubs.

His father, a barber, sent LiPuma to barber college and gave him a loan to buy a barbershop in the Keith Building on Euclid Avenue in Cleveland. Among his customers were various radio disc jockeys, including future “American Top 40” host Casey Kasem, who used to work at the old WJW AM/850.

But LiPuma’s heart wasn’t into cutting hair. He leased the shop, packed his sax and hit the road for a year with a jazz combo.

Upon his return to Cleveland in 1960, LiPuma got a job as a record promoter with M.S. Distributors.

The following year, he was hired to do promotion for Liberty Records. He later transferred to the company’s music publishing division. LiPuma primarily was based in Los Angeles, although he briefly lived in New York in 1962 and relocated there permanently in 1984.

The first album he produced was “Comin’ Through,” the 1965 debut by an R&B group from Canton — the O’Jays.

Making hits, taking hits

He scored his first gold record one year later with the Sandpipers. The easy-listening trio’s Top 10 single “Guantanamera” was produced by LiPuma, who also recited the spoken-word bit in the middle of the tune: “I am a truthful man from the land of the palm trees… .”

He went on to work as a producer and A&R (artists and repertoire) executive for several other record companies, including A&M, Warner Bros. and Elektra. Along the way, LiPuma collaborated with a range of artists, from Dr. John to Michael Franks to Joe Sample.

Somebody once asked LiPuma how it felt to be the father of smooth jazz. He was mortified.

“I detest — de-test! — smooth jazz,” he says. “Shall I call it the height of mediocrity? Everything has become so predictable.

"The jazz community can blame itself for what ultimately ended up happening with jazz. Basically, it has gone nowhere.”

Some jazz purists blame LiPuma for his pop-savvy meddling — at least to hear him tell it.

“Critics like Gary Giddins hate my [expletive] guts,” LiPuma says. “They think I’m the Antichrist. [Giddins] referred to me as a hack.”

Giddins, former jazz critic for The Village Voice and the author of biographies of Louis Armstrong, Bing Crosby and Charlie Parker, is widely regarded as a top jazz authority. (Even LiPuma says Giddins is “erudite.”)

Giddins gave his side of the story via e-mail last week.

“I don’t hate Tommy LiPuma’s ‘[expletive] guts,’ ” he wrote. “It is possible that I once referred to him as a hack, but I can’t recall the occasion and a global search of everything on my hard drive, dating back 20 years, turns up only one mention of his name.”

In a review of the 1997 JVC Jazz Festival, Giddins made a passing reference to LiPuma as “the record industry menace who specializes in convincing good musicians to play bad music.”

‘A rare breed’ and ‘a beautiful cat’

Tommy LiPuma — a “menace”? Jarreau scoffs at the notion.

LiPuma is “a rare breed,” Jarreau says. “Maybe a guy like Tommy is too nice for this industry.”

Sax player David Sanborn, on the bill for the JazzFest’s Silver tribute, has cut a couple of albums with LiPuma.

“You can always tell a Tommy LiPuma production,” Sanborn says. “He makes high-class, high-quality records…. He has the ability to make records with broad appeal, too.

"I don’t think there’s anything intrinsically wrong with a lot of people liking your music. If you’re doing something you don’t believe in, that’s another story. But I don’t think Tommy has ever done that. . . . He has a real passion for the music.”

LiPuma is “a beautiful cat,” says another music legend from Cleveland, jazz singer Jimmy Scott. His 1992 comeback album, “All the Way,” was produced by LiPuma.

“He knows his stuff,” Scott says. “If you have an idea and you talk it over with him, he’ll make it happen. He doesn’t limit his thoughts about the music.”

LiPuma doesn’t limit his interests to music, either.

Paintings by American Modernists usually fill his Park Avenue apartment, although for the time being, the walls are dotted with empty hooks. “Modern American Masters: Highlights From the Gill and Tommy LiPuma Collection” is on view through Sunday, July 18, at the Cleveland Museum of Art. The exhibition features works by some of LiPuma’s favorite artists (not of the recording variety), including Alfred Maurer, Marsden Hartley and Arnold Friedman.

Gill is LiPuma’s wife of 35 years. They have two grown daughters.

“I love art…. You’ve got structure, form, textures — the same things you have in music,” says LiPuma, recently elected a trustee of the Smithsonian Institution’s Archives of American Art.

“I’d like to be a private [art] dealer,” he says. “I also still enjoy making records. I don’t want to stop…. At this point, the last thing I’m thinking about is retirement.”

[johnsoedercma-blog]

For me, it doesn’t get any better than telling stories about people with a passion for the arts. I wrote this profile of record producer extraordinaire and philanthropist Tommy LiPuma for The Plain Dealer, on the occasion of a Tri-C JazzFest salute to him that coincided with the "Modern American Masters: Highlights From the Gill and Tommy LiPuma Collection" exhibition at the Cleveland Museum of Art.

The Art of Tommy LiPuma

By John Soeder published April 11, 2004, in The Plain Dealer

NEW YORK – Yes, he produced a chart-topping album for Barbra Streisand.

And yes, he also had a hand in Grammy-winning recordings by George Benson, Natalie Cole and Diana Krall.

Running down the mile-long list of his accomplishments as a record producer and music industry executive, however, it’s easy to overlook one of Tommy LiPuma’s most truly remarkable achievements:

He made a Wham! fan out of Miles Davis. 

The late, great jazz trumpeter visited LiPuma at home in the 1980s to discuss working together. LiPuma popped a cassette by the George Michael-fronted pop group of "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" fame into the stereo.

Davis "freaked out," LiPuma says. "He loved it."

Who knew?

LiPuma recounts the story over lunch at Sistina, his favorite Italian restaurant. It’s not open for lunch, mind you – unless you’re Tommy LiPuma, in which case you and a guest have the dining room all to yourselves on a snowy March afternoon.

Such are the perks when you’re chairman of the world’s largest jazz record company, Verve Music Group. LiPuma, a former Clevelander, has held the title since 1998.

He’ll be back in his hometown this week for the 25th annual Tri-C JazzFest. Benson, Krall, Dr. John, Joe Lovano, Jimmy Scott and others perform Saturday at Playhouse Square’s Allen Theatre in a salute to LiPuma, 67.

"I’m honored," he says. "On the other hand, it makes you wonder: Are you coming toward the twilight of your career? Frankly, I feel I’m at the top of my game."

LiPuma co-produced three albums for Davis, starting with 1986’s "Tutu." It included a cover of "Perfect Way," originally done by Scritti Politti, another 1980s pop act that LiPuma brought to the attention of Davis.

"He wasn’t what I call a jazz cop," LiPuma says. "He loved all kinds of music."

Ditto LiPuma. He wholeheartedly buys into the old Duke Ellington maxim: There are only two kinds of music – the good kind and the other kind.

LiPuma’s latest productions are albums by Al Jarreau and Krall.

Veteran vocalist Jarreau’s "Accentuate the Positive" is due in stores Tuesday, Aug. 3. LiPuma was behind the mixing board for two previous Jarreau releases, "Glow" (1976) and the live double album "Look to the Rainbow" (1977).

"He’s a brilliant producer," says Jarreau, who performs Friday at the Allen Theatre as part of the JazzFest’s "Silver on Silver" salute to another LiPuma client, hard-bop pianist Horace Silver.

LiPuma has a knack for "knowing artists, knowing what they do, allowing them to do it and then pushing them where he thinks their strengths are — and beyond those strengths," Jarreau says.

While working on his new album, Jarreau found himself scatting the melody of "Groovin’ High," a Charlie Parker-Dizzy Gillespie chestnut: "Duh-dut, duh-dut-dut, bah-doo-bee-ooh-bee-ooh-duh-dut’ll-doo-day. . . ."

LiPuma’s ears pricked up. "Is there a lyric, Al?" he asked.

"Well, I’ve thought about doing a lyric for it," Jarreau replied.

LiPuma encouraged him to go for it.

Jarreau did. The finished track turned out to be "one of my best efforts," he says.

Krall’s new album, "The Girl in the Other Room," comes out Tuesday, April 27. It features six songs co-written by the singer-pianist and her husband, rocker Elvis Costello.

LiPuma co-produced "The Girl in the Other Room" with Krall, whom he refers to as "my baby." He has overseen seven of her eight albums.

"Tommy is my ears — he can hear things I can’t hear," Krall said in a 2001 interview with The Plain Dealer. "He loves music, art, beauty and all the meaningful things in life, including really good wine."

At Sistina, LiPuma orders a bowl of pasta. It arrives perfectly al dente and prepared, per his specifications, with cherry tomatoes. A seafood dish follows in short order.

"This is the branzino," LiPuma says, digging into the Italian-style sea bass. "Delicious!"

Between sips of espresso in the afterglow of the meal, he’ll gladly tell you about working with ultradiva Streisand on "The Way We Were," her 1974 No. 1 album: "She knows exactly what she wants."

Or the truth behind "Weekend in L.A.," singer-guitarist Benson’s 1977 live album: "It wasn’t really as live as it sounded. . . . We had to redo the vocals."

Or the emotional experience of recording the title track of Cole’s 1991 "Unforgettable" album, a virtual duet between the singer and her late father, Nat "King" Cole: "When we did it, it stopped all of us in our tracks."

Lawyers, accountants running the show

LiPuma lights up when he talks about music. But his mood turns somber when the conversation turns to the music business.

"The sooner corporate America gets out of it, the happier I’m going to be," he says.

Verve Music Group is the parent company of four record labels: Verve, Impulse!, GRP (which LiPuma ran in the 1990s) and Blue Thumb (where LiPuma worked in the late ’60s and early ’70s with such acts as Dan Hicks and Dave Mason).

In addition to a catalog rich with jazz greats (Ellington, Count Basie, John Coltrane, Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday, among others), the company’s current artist roster includes the likes of Krall, Jarreau, Benson, violinist Regina Carter and keyboardist Herbie Hancock.

Verve Music Group is a subsidiary of the world’s leading music company, Universal Music Group, which had revenues of $6 billion in 2003. Universal (itself a division of multinational media conglomerate Vivendi Universal) does not release specific financial data for its subsidiaries.

"The record business used to be basically a group of entrepreneurs . . . who made gut decisions and ran their own ships," LiPuma says. "They didn’t have to worry about making their quarter or if Wall Street was going to give them its blessing. They were music people.

"Today, with a few exceptions, you have lawyers and accountants running the show. It’s very unfortunate."

LiPuma has delegated the day-to-day responsibilities (read: headaches) of running Verve Music Group to his second-in-command, President and CEO Ron Goldstein.

"I handle the creative aspects," LiPuma says. "When you make records, all you want is the right performance. . . . As a producer, everything is about waiting for the moment when the artist drops a magic take. One of the most important parts of my job is knowing when the moment happens."

Magic has struck in the studio time and again for LiPuma, who has made more than 20 gold, platinum or multiplatinum records. He also has won three Grammy Awards: Record of the Year in 1976 for Benson’s smash "This Masquerade," Album of the Year in 1991 for Cole’s "Unforgettable" and Best Jazz Vocal Album in 2002 for Krall’s "Live in Paris."

The way he was: Cleveland roots

Born in Cleveland to Italian immigrants, LiPuma was the youngest of five children. His brothers, Joe and Henry, and sister Therese still live in the area; another sister, Josephine, died in 1984.

LiPuma’s family moved often when he was young, from Cleveland’s Kinsman neighborhood to University Heights to Warrensville Heights to Beachwood.

"The radio was always on in our house," LiPuma says. "In those days, it was Bing Crosby, the Andrews Sisters, Jo Stafford.

"Some way or another, I ended up where I ended up. But I’m a pop junkie. I love great pop music.

"By the time I was 18, I loved bebop — Charlie Parker, Horace Silver, all those guys. But it didn’t take away from my love for pop music."

When he was 9, LiPuma developed osteomyelitis, a debilitating bone infection. He spent nearly three years laid up in bed.

"The radio became my friend," he says. "I discovered the R&B station in those days, WJMO, and I started hearing Charles Brown, Louis Jordan, Nat Cole and Ruth Brown. I was a complete R&B nut by the time I was 12.

"Then I started playing saxophone. . . . I’ll never forget: The music teacher at Shaker Heights Junior High School gave me an F in music because I didn��t show up for a concert."

LiPuma dropped out of school when he was 18, although he only made it through 10th grade. His illness had left him two grades behind his friends. "I felt out of place," he says.

By then, he was earning $25 a night playing sax in local clubs.

His father, a barber, sent LiPuma to barber college and gave him a loan to buy a barbershop in the Keith Building on Euclid Avenue in Cleveland. Among his customers were various radio disc jockeys, including future "American Top 40" host Casey Kasem, who used to work at the old WJW AM/850.

But LiPuma’s heart wasn’t into cutting hair. He leased the shop, packed his sax and hit the road for a year with a jazz combo.

Upon his return to Cleveland in 1960, LiPuma got a job as a record promoter with M.S. Distributors.

The following year, he was hired to do promotion for Liberty Records. He later transferred to the company’s music publishing division. LiPuma primarily was based in Los Angeles, although he briefly lived in New York in 1962 and relocated there permanently in 1984.

The first album he produced was "Comin’ Through," the 1965 debut by an R&B group from Canton — the O’Jays.

Making hits, taking hits

He scored his first gold record one year later with the Sandpipers. The easy-listening trio’s Top 10 single "Guantanamera" was produced by LiPuma, who also recited the spoken-word bit in the middle of the tune: "I am a truthful man from the land of the palm trees. . . ."

He went on to work as a producer and A&R (artists and repertoire) executive for several other record companies, including A&M, Warner Bros. and Elektra. Along the way, LiPuma collaborated with a range of artists, from Dr. John to Michael Franks to Joe Sample.

Somebody once asked LiPuma how it felt to be the father of smooth jazz. He was mortified.

"I detest — de-test! — smooth jazz," he says. "Shall I call it the height of mediocrity? Everything has become so predictable.

"The jazz community can blame itself for what ultimately ended up happening with jazz. Basically, it has gone nowhere."

Some jazz purists blame LiPuma for his pop-savvy meddling — at least to hear him tell it.

"Critics like Gary Giddins hate my [expletive] guts," LiPuma says. "They think I’m the Antichrist. [Giddins] referred to me as a hack."

Giddins, former jazz critic for The Village Voice and the author of biographies of Louis Armstrong, Bing Crosby and Charlie Parker, is widely regarded as a top jazz authority. (Even LiPuma says Giddins is "erudite.")

Giddins gave his side of the story via e-mail last week.

"I don’t hate Tommy LiPuma’s ‘[expletive] guts,’ " he wrote. "It is possible that I once referred to him as a hack, but I can’t recall the occasion and a global search of everything on my hard drive, dating back 20 years, turns up only one mention of his name."

In a review of the 1997 JVC Jazz Festival, Giddins made a passing reference to LiPuma as "the record industry menace who specializes in convincing good musicians to play bad music."

‘A rare breed’ and ‘a beautiful cat’

Tommy LiPuma — a "menace"? Jarreau scoffs at the notion.

LiPuma is "a rare breed," Jarreau says. "Maybe a guy like Tommy is too nice for this industry."

Sax player David Sanborn, on the bill for the JazzFest’s Silver tribute, has cut a couple of albums with LiPuma.

"You can always tell a Tommy LiPuma production," Sanborn says. "He makes high-class, high-quality records. . . . He has the ability to make records with broad appeal, too.

"I don’t think there’s anything intrinsically wrong with a lot of people liking your music. If you’re doing something you don’t believe in, that’s another story. But I don’t think Tommy has ever done that. . . . He has a real passion for the music."

LiPuma is "a beautiful cat," says another music legend from Cleveland, jazz singer Jimmy Scott. His 1992 comeback album, "All the Way," was produced by LiPuma.

"He knows his stuff," Scott says. "If you have an idea and you talk it over with him, he’ll make it happen. He doesn’t limit his thoughts about the music."

LiPuma doesn’t limit his interests to music, either.

Paintings by American Modernists usually fill his Park Avenue apartment, although for the time being, the walls are dotted with empty hooks. "Modern American Masters: Highlights From the Gill and Tommy LiPuma Collection" is on view through Sunday, July 18, at the Cleveland Museum of Art. The exhibition features works by some of LiPuma’s favorite artists (not of the recording variety), including Alfred Maurer, Marsden Hartley and Arnold Friedman.

Gill is LiPuma’s wife of 35 years. They have two grown daughters.

"I love art. . . . You’ve got structure, form, textures — the same things you have in music," says LiPuma, recently elected a trustee of the Smithsonian Institution’s Archives of American Art.

"I’d like to be a private [art] dealer," he says. "I also still enjoy making records. I don’t want to stop. . . . At this point, the last thing I’m thinking about is retirement."

[everydayhybridity]

366 Days of Music - A Social Media Experiment

I began the year with an absurd and largely pointless resolution. This was partly my desire to rebel against the vacuous resolutions of losing weight, and giving up smoking. I wanted to commit to something daft. I decided to post a song on my Facebook page everyday for a year. So, the task was not entirely pointless. I also wanted to resist the way in which we have become accustomed to posting certain things on certain social media platforms. The occasional song on Facebook is appreciated. But a year of them. My wife said ‘people will unfriend you.’ Perhaps they would.

So it occurred to me that this would ultimately be a social experiment. Could I do the whole year? Would people become irritated with me? Would people enjoy the music? Would I start to pander to the taste of my audience? and also how many people would also acknowledge the project in real life.

Early I found that I was actually caring about my audience more than I had considered. I wanted to present a range of music so people would not get bored of the same types of artists. I did however commit to only posting songs I really liked. No fads, but songs I had committed to and enjoyed. 

Early in January during the commute to work I had my music on shuffle and I listened to David Bowie’s cover of ‘ I know its going to happen Someday’...I hadn’t heard it for ages and I thought I must post this, but I already had another track in mind for that day. As a matter of coincidence I found out a few hours later that Bowie had died. A coincidence, and an oddity that I had not posted the song. But then everyone was posting Bowie’s music on Facebook... My experiment became lost in the sea of music I would scroll through in my feed. Within a few days it had all calmed down again. I continued.

By Day 40 my enthusiasm wavered and I queued up a few posts on Buffer so I could ride out the Chinese New Year holiday without forgetting to post. Over this period I got a few responses from friends. People were asking me about songs and some friends even took to posting a song or two also. It was at this moment that I had a peculiar thought. Why is there such reticence to share the music your love on Facebook in contrast to the pictures of our daily life, or favourite pop culture news, recipes, or political convictions? Facebook, again and again seems to be a platform of managed self presentation, not so much earnest and impassioned sharing. This is underlined even more when you try to resist the ways in which Facebook is used. i.e. for self display. Sharing music you love almost seems to be more intimate than family photos. Lets be honest here, those family photos are the ones you have selected, the selfies are the ones you have posed for numerous times - but I can’t do much about my love for 80′s Pop, Shoegazers, and Vanessa Carlton. I began to think. Is posting music too honest?

It was around this stage I embraced a sense of abandon. I am thinking less and less about my audience. This mirrored an experience I had at the skatepark where I had my spotify playing on random. A whole bunch of gnarly tracks which were great to skate to were flowing. Then suddenly Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ comes on. Not the sort of track one listens to at the skatepark? I decided to embrace it. If I can listen to Beyonce at the skatepark, I should cater even less to the Facebook audience and embrace the freedom that this project provides.

By day 50 I was in full swing. One friend had asked me to add all the tracks onto a Spotify playlist. It was good to get such feedback. The thing that I wasn’t enjoying was the fact that I was spending more time on Facebook than ever before. Using it consistently everyday made me use it even more than the simple posting of tracks. This was not my plan. I engaged in the project to disrupt the banality of Facebook not become more immersed. I was uncomfortable with this. By day 53 I got the tragic news that a friend had a freak accident and died. Social Media always seems most trivial at these times. But it was a lifeline in communicating with friends, and my late friend’s wife. Even so this was the moment that I wanted to leave Facebook. Social Media is not a place to mourn. It was my stubborn commitment to the music project that made me stay. I immersed myself in a few days of Jazz...It appears that my friends don't seem to like Jazz.

What happened after that is a little unclear. I continued until day 84, March 24. Then I just stopped outright. The project failed. and like so many new year’s resolutions it did not endure. I felt imprisoned by the task a totally ill at ease with Facebook. I remain on Facebook in an uneasy peace, mostly because I have too many research contacts through Facebook. I cant afford to lose these. 

I had some great exchanges with people I seldom communicated with. people shared stories of tracks they really loved, or memories of songs. It was a fun experiment until it became a prison.

In order to complete the experiment and to document the task, I kept a list of all the songs I posted up to the end. Here they are. Farewell 2016.

Day 1- Mega City Four - New Year’s Day 

Day 2 - Miles Davis - Flamenco Sketches 

Day 3 - Lissie - Pursuit of Happiness 

Day 4 - Stevie Wonder - Blame it on the Sun 

Day 5 - Public Enemy - Don’t Believe the Hype 

Day 6 - Rodrigo y Gabriela - Tamacun 

Day 7 - Curve - Coast is Clear 

Day 8 - Tom Jones - Tower of Song 

Day 9 - Bob Dylan - Maggie’s Farm 

Day 10 - Le Tigre - Deceptacon 

Day 11 - Submotion Orchestra - All Yours 

Day 12 - David Bowie - Lazarus 

Day 13 - Herbaliser - 8 Point Agenda 

Day 14 - Louis Armstrong - I Can’t Believe That You’re In Love With Me 

Day 15 - Papa Brittle - Twisted and Feckless 

Day 16 - Marlena Shaw - California Soul 

Day 17 - Eurythmics - Here Comes The Rain Again 

Day 18 - RZA Bobby Digital - Build Strong 

Day 19 - Portishead - Glory Box 

Day 20 - Rolling Stones - Wild Horses 

Day 21 - Heart - Barracuda 

Day 22 - Ben E King - This Magic Moment 

Day 23 - Husker Du - Ice Cold Ice 

Day 24 - Massive Attack - Unfinished Sympathy 

Day 25 - Mega City Four - January 

Day 26 - T-Rex - Suneye 

Day 27 - Rainer Maria - Long Knives 

Day 28 - Art Blakey - Moanin’ 

Day 29 - Temple of the Dog - Hunger Strike 

Day 30 - Supergrass - Late in the Day 

Day 31 - Janis Joplin - Piece of my Heart 

Day 32 - Bone Thugs n Harmony - 1st of tha Month 

Day 33 - My Bloody Valentine - Only Shallow 

Day 34 - Rahat Fateh Ali Khan - Man Ki Lagan

Day 35 - Kate Nash - Foundations

Day 36 - Nine - Fo’eva Blunted

Day 37 - Earth, Wind and Fire - September

Day 38 - Vanilla Fudge - You Keep Me Hangin On

Day 39 - Husker Du - New Day Rising

Day 40 - Death - Politicians In My Eyes

Day 41 - Pharcyde - Runnin'

Day 42 - Louis Armstrong - Perdido Street Blues

Day 43 - Leatherface - I Want The Moon

Day 44 - Elvis Costello - A Good Year For The Roses

Day 45 - Vanessa Carlton - I Don’t Want To Be A Bride

Day 46 - Men Without Hats - Safety Dance

Day 47 - Charli XCX - Superlove

Day 48 - Bruce Springsteen - The River

Day 49 - Bomb the Bass - Winter in July

Day 50 - Midway Still - Boys of Summer

Day 51 - Teenage Fanclub - Mellow Doubt

Day 52 - Phoenix - Summer Days

Day 53 - George Lewis - Burgundy Street Blues

Day 54 - Thelonious Monk - Sweet and Lovely

Day 55 - Salt N Peppa - Shoop

Day 56 - McRad - Weakness

Day 57 - The Strokes - Under Cover of Darkness

Day 58 - Stevie Wonder - We Can Work It Out

Day 59 - Tricky - Black Steel

Day 60 - Ride - Dreams Burn Down

Day 61 - Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Day 62 - Cornershop - Norwegian Wood

Day 63 - Bullet For My Valentine - Waking The Demon

Day 64 - Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy - Television The Drug Of the Nation

Day 65 - Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong - The Frim Fram Sauce

Day 66 - Soundgarden - The Day I Tried To Live

Day 67 - Operation Ivy - Take Warning

Day 68 - Nas - If I Ruled The World 

Day 69 - Public Enemy - Fight The Power

Day 70 - My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay

Day 71 - The Flirtations - Nothing But A Heartache

Day 72 - The Subways - Alright

Day 73 - Alicia Keys - Reckless Love

Day 74 - Queen - The Hero

Day 75 - This Will Destroy You - I Believe In Your Victory

Day 76 - RJD2 - Making Days Longer

Day 77 - Martika - Toy  Soldiers

Day 78 - Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen In Love

Day 79 - Rainer Maria - Breakfast of Champions

Day 80 - PWEI - Wise Up Sucker

Day 81 - Sloan - Underwhelmed

Day 82 - Bessie Smith - Reckless Blues

Day 83 - Clifford Gilberto - Restless

Day 84 - The Four Tops - I Can’t Help Myself

[thefallofthecelestial]

Chapter 1

I know what you’re thinking - no, this isn’t another cry for help. In fact, I think I’m too lost to cry out for any kind.

  Just 2 months ago, I was living my life. Nothing mattered. I was the hero. And now I’m here. I don’t know if this is purgatory for the wrongs that have happened or not. 

I need to properly introduce myself. I’m ashamed I didn’t already. Hello. My name is Angelina Elizabeth Henry, or Lizzie, I guess. I was born and raised in New York. My whole backstory? My dad passed away before I was born, my mom was shot while I was asleep at age 6, and I was raised by my grandpa and the lady next door to our apartment. It wasn’t until I was 19 when I learned I was part of a protector bloodline called the Celestials, and my mother had abandoned her duties as a celestial, a member of the angel protector legion, and a princess to go see America. Childish, I know. So in learning all that, I met my best friends - Adrien and Rosanna - who lived in the “angel kingdom” which isn’t on earth. Then there was the angel kingdom’s neighbor - the devil kingdom - who also had a royal bloodline thansisted of Queen Ella, Prince (now king) Daniel and Princess Raven.

  Raven was really something.

The two kingdoms were separated by a protective bubble made by celestials that was breaking, so instead of fixing it, I fell in love with the devil princess and we united the two kingdoms. Everything that went on after that was chaos - Daniel and Adrien fell in love, there was a ball hosted by Daniel that Adrien got assaulted in by childhood bullies and was exposed that Adrien’s birth name wasn’t Adrien, it was Pheobe. Daniel still loved him after that, Daniel met Adrien’s ‘devil-phobic’ family and got accepted, Rosanna got really depressed that everyone was in love so she tried to revive her dead older sister, Sunnie, which ended up turning out bad and killing Queen Ella. Daniel took the throne as King Daniel, Rosanna and Sunnie’s mom dies after telling Rosanna that she was half angel half devil and Sunnie is pure angel and then Raven asked me to marry her. I said no.

I guess she got mad and sent me here, huh? Two months ago, I got transported back to Earth, only this time to a town that is led by sociopaths. I live here now. With other girls. One of which owns a bar, where we’re all going tonight.

“I don’t get why you don’t wanna use your powers here. This place is in need of entertainment!” said my roommate Nyte. 

“Because, i just don’t feel comfortable with it, ok?” My falsetto voice groaned. I forgot to mention something important. As the first human-celestial hybrid, I have two forms: my human form, which is my 4’10 hourglass-shaped body in my shoulderless pink sweater, black leggings, and black running shoes, and there’s my angel form - a 5’7 muscular woman in a white croptop, white shorts, and white boots. That form is what Rosanna called “Pastel”. Pastel is what let’s me fight. She is what the world wants to see. 

“I don’t understand why, though. You’re so powerful like that!” Nyte said, skipping down the wet sidewalk. 

“I am, it’s just that Pastel is a stereotypical hero, and most people here are NOT very likely to accept a hero.” I retorted, opening the door to the bar and being immediately greeted by my friend Cheshire.

Now, it’s time to tell you how things are now. I work in this big white building where basically all the weird people go. They call it “The Ego building” or something like that. There are three different groups in that building - the Irishmen, the multiples and the girls, which is where I fit in. 

In our group, there’s five other women. Nyte is the first. She is an ex-assassin and a werewolf, which I guess is an explanation for her white and teal hair. The next is Catirine, who is one of the only humans. She’s 15 (which you can tell by her appearance; she’s 5’4, has dirty blonde hair that fades to hot pink, and an abundance of accessories) and she’s like any teenager. She’s a lead singer and on bass guitar in her band and she’s been trained in ballet since age 3. After her is Cheshire, a 5”8 woman who wears skin-tight clothing intentionally. She is called a prostitute, I guess, but she isn’t active anymore since she met her girlfriend, Sariah, back in 1987.  The fourth girl is Rebecca, who is also a member of the angel protector legion. She’s the dark angel, which was originally called a mistake because darkness is bad. All of the other members of the angel protector legion - the water angel, the fire angel, the air angel, the light angel, - are all training beside her at age 16. Then finally, there’s Pyra. The group leader. I don’t even know how to explain her. She’s very closed up about her backstory. Her appearance does boldly say don’t mess with me - long scarlet-dyed red hair with a dark brown under cut what covers her right eye, big muscular arms, hands that turn to obsidian claws when she gets angry… Yeah, I fear her, too.

We are the smallest group out of the three. The Irishmen have 7 people: Anti, Dr. Schneeplestein, Chase Brody, Jackieboy Man, Marvin the magnificent,Jameson Jackson, and Robbie; while the multiples have maybe 12? Let’s see, there’s Google, Bing, Ayano, Eric, Derek, Ed, Bim, the Jim twins, Dr. Iplier, the host, KOTS, Wilford, Dark…

Dark…

Oh god I’m staring

I’m staring AT him

OH GOD I’M STARING AT HIM.

“Hello?? Earth to tiny!” Cheshire said, shaking my shoulders. I snapped out of my daze and found myself sitting on a barstool, completely ignoring everything else in the world except Dark. Yep, that’s right. I have a crush on the head of the egos entirely. That’s what makes this place purgatory. 

Cheshire looked at me, then to Sariah, then back to me, then to Dark, who was on the other side of the room with Wilford and Bim at a table. She raised an eyebrow, then spoke. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a crush on my ex-boyfriend over there.”

My entire face flushed red when she said that. Nyte began to laugh when Sariah, who was cleaning a glass, just smiled at me. “Why don’t you go and talk to him, Liz?” She sighed. “Because he’s the most powerful one in this room and I could get murdered by just stepping into that area!” I said through gritted teeth.

“Oh yeah, he’s quite the powerful one. Powerful enough to make you not walk for a week.” Cheshire chuckled.

“Ches!” Sariah and I exclaimed at the same time. 

“Sorry, sorry, bad joke,” She responded “well, if you want to talk to him, then I’ll get him over here.” “You’ll do what?” I said nervously but was interrupted by Cheshire yelling “HEY DARKIPOO, YOU’RE NEEDED OVER HERE”

GOD DAMMIT

Sure enough, Dark walked over, looking more annoyed.

This is bad, this is bad, this is bad-

“Yes?” He grunted. “Ms. Henry over here wants to properly introduce herself!” Cheshire laughed. She turned my head so I was facing Dark again. “She’s 25, free, single….” she leaned in and whispered “She’s also inexperienced, so you could teach her a thing or two~” “Ches, stop!” I squeaked, pushing her off her chair, which only made her laugh more. Dark slightly smiled. “Is that what this is, hmm? Ms. Henry, are you interested in me?” He said. His voice gave me shivers. “No! Ches is just being weird!” I lied, covering my face with both my hands. “Alright then. I’ll leave you be.” His smirk faded and he walked back over to his table. I glared at Ches with immense hate. “What were you thinking?!” I whisper-shouted. “I don’t know! I thought it was funny!” Ches laughed after pushing herself off the floor.  “That was messed up! That could’ve ruined my chances!” “Look, I’m sorry, ok?” Her entire mood changed into her puppy dog face, which didn’t go well with her outfit that was just barely revealing her chest. 

“I’m just gonna go home now.” I muttered. I stood up to leave but my train of thought was interrupted by a whistle. I turned to see Ed Edgar and he said 

“I can give ya a ride to ma place if you want. I’m always free.”

“Edgar, aren’t you a sex offender?” I heard Pyra’s low dangerous voice say. That made him back off. 

Yeah. That’s a way to explain Pyra. An edgelord sister figure. Someone who only does a nice thing for me only once every blue moon.

[mrmichaelchadler]

Natural Woman: A Tribute to Aretha Franklin

The world lost actual royalty on Thursday, August 16th, 2018, when the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, passed away at age 76. Our own Odie Henderson already paid tribute to her in his eloquent obituary, but we wanted to open the floor to a few more thoughts from our team, including Chaz Ebert, Nell Minow, Brian Tallerico, Omer Mozzafar, B. J. Bethel, Steve Erickson, Peter Sobczynski and Matt Fagerholm. Words can’t really do her justice, but we will try.

CHAZ EBERT

ARETHA FRANKLIN: NATURAL WOMAN

Ms Aretha Franklin, the undisputed Queen of Soul, was the singular musical influence in my life. Not the single, as in only, but the most important. I have great admiration for many singers such as Sara Vaughan, Ella Fitzgerald, Esther Phillips, Lena Horne, Whitney Houston, June Anderson, Dianna Ross, Adele, Dionne Warwick, and Barbara Streisand but Aretha’s singing helped me to discover the music of the heartstrings. Whether she was crooning "Natural Woman," "Dr Feelgood," "Giving Him Something He Can Feel," "I Say a Little Prayer," "Brand New Me," "This Girl's In Love With You," "Chain of Fools,"  “Nessun Dorma” or “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” her brand of soul seeped deep into my psyche, taking me through various experiences of love, as she was never timid about letting you know whether she was deliriously in love or woefully in pain, or on some platform in between the two.

There is a certain kind of down-home blues called “gut bucket” blues, not only because you feel it in your gut with each strum of the guitar but because it sounds like it is wrenched from the guts of the singer, from his or her firsthand experience with no money for rent and the baby needs shoes, and your love done got up and gone. Aretha’s songs came from her gut. There was no artifice. Her soulful moans were a direct translation whether you were wondering about love, falling in love, discovering sex, nursing a broken heart or telling a man to give you some Respect. She was that natural woman, who struggled with her weight, and her clothes but never with her affection for family and friends. When she performed professionally she sometimes demanded to be paid in cash and was known for carrying it around in her purse within her eyesight on stage. But that was her way of being assertive, for standing her ground and making sure she didn’t end up penniless like a lot of the entertainers who were taken advantage of. Whether in love or in life, her songs came from deep emotions and a myriad of deep experiences.   

But she was also a multi-talented original, so her songs also came from her heart and soul, beginning with the gospel songs she sang in her father Reverend C. L. Franklin’s church in Detroit.  Her rendition of “Amazing Grace,” brings me to tears each time. And the miracle is how well she seamlessly blended the gospel and the secular, finding the divinity in each.  She took this blend of gospel and secular on the road with Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. to help with the struggle for civil rights. She didn’t back down from confrontation. “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” became a clarion call both for the civil rights movement and the women’s liberation movement.

I loved Aretha and what she stood for and the news of her death leaves me heartbroken. On the few occasions when Roger and I ran into her at events, I was surprised to find out that she could be shy. Or so she told me. Maybe that was part of her need for privacy; part of her Diva shield. She would get us alone and kick off her shoes, and she became playful and warm and funny. She could give as good as she got, and she loved teasing and catching up on the latest goings-on. It is so hard to say goodbye to someone who feels like they have been a part of your life for so long, even if you know them mainly through their music. I am just “saying a little prayer for her” and thanking her for all of the deeply soulful heart connections she engendered. And I am sending out the most heartfelt condolences to her family. Heaven has a new Queen.

BRIAN TALLERICO

When I was a teenager in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, I worked in a book store called Metro News Center (it was mostly magazines and newspapers, but also had a healthy supply of new books). I can still remember the first time Aretha Franklin walked through the front door. There was no mistaking who it was. She wasn’t the kind of face you didn’t place. It was as if actual royalty had entered the building. A hush fell over the whole store that felt almost supernatural, as if the world made way for her wherever she went. When I think of the very concept of a celebrity being “larger than life,” I think of that encounter—the Queen of Soul wandering the aisles in a book store and the world stopping to watch her do it. It was unforgettable—although I’d pay a lot of money to remember what books she bought.

The world didn’t just lose a generational musical talent, it lost that increasingly rare degree of celebrity and superstar that can truly justify the title Queen.

OMER MOZAFFAR

She was that older sister who knocked down walls with the sheer will of her personality and the power of her voice.

NELL MINOW

I won’t try to express the greatness of Aretha Franklin with superlatives.  Even the most extravagant would not do her justice. I will just say that beyond that voice, her magnificent instrument, the match of any musical genre or mood, beyond the inerrant musicianship that could take a melody, twist it, stretch it, toss it to the moon and back again without losing a brilliantly shaped note, was her grace as a person and a performer. When she demanded respect, when she told you to think, when she sang, “Mary, Don’t You Weep,” when she stepped in at the last minute to substitute for the foremost tenor of the world, Luciano Pavarotti, to sing his signature aria, Nessun Dorma, everyone who was lucky enough to hear her understood that her real greatness came from the honesty of a true natural woman.

B.J. BETHEL

Aretha Franklin's title of "Queen of Soul" was more than befitting the greatest singer America ever produced. She defended her reign in numerous feuds with other singers and celebrities. But one wonders if she took the title so personal because she was a Queen without a King.

Sam Cooke was more than inspiration for Franklin. The two met when she was 12 and he was in his early 20s.

Cooke died in 1964 after being shot by the manager of a hotel, an incident that still hasn't been wholly investigated and one he family - 50 years later - still wants re-opened.

Cooke was 33 years old when he died but was already dubbed the "King of Soul" for a string of songs and hits that may never be repeated, and a voice that expressed a joy and inspiration that was quite opposite of the hard life he lived.

"A Wonderful World," "Saturday Night," "Twistin' the Night Away," "Chain Gang." were a few of his hits, songs that were all staples of pop and soul music. His talent was equaled only by Franklin.

On Franklin's hit album "I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You," she covered two of Cooke's songs. "Good Times," and his hit "A Change Is Gonna Come" as the final track on a record that began with "Respect." Pitchfork named the record one of the 10 best of the ‘60s, Rolling Stone had it in a list of top 100 records of all time. Cooke's inspiration was all over it.

What the two could have done if they had both been blowing up the charts at the same time has always been a question hanging in my imagination.

STEVE ERICKSON

When I went out for breakfast this morning at a Manhattan cafe, the radio was tuned to a station playing '80s and '90s R&B and hip-hop. The DJ spoke in between songs about Aretha Franklin's death today and her immense importance in American culture, but at least while I was there the station couldn't be bothered to play any of her actual music. But the artists they did play - Mary J. Blige (one of her most obvious descendants), Anita Baker, even a male singer like Prince - would have sounded much different without the bravery and swagger of her late '60s and early '70s music. "Respect" is just the beginning. Albums like SOUL '69, SPIRIT IN THE DARK and YOUNG, GIFTED & BLACK offer plenty of deep cuts, and a stylistic range that includes rock, jazz, blues and gospel, although she usually just gets summed up as a soul singer. The kind of female African-American rebellion summed up by "Respect" isn't exactly absent from our culture, but it says something about our times that the attitude and struggle represented by her best music and public persona still seem very contemporary.

PETER SOBCZYNSKI

As was probably the case for a lot of people who share my age and general background, my first real exposure to the majesty of Aretha Franklin came from the silver screen. For my ninth birthday, my family went to go see “The Blues Brothers,” a film that I had been champing at the bit after having seen its production virtually take over the Chicago area the previous summer. During the first section, our heroes are jumping bridges, getting blown up, driving through shopping malls, getting smacked by nuns and getting redeemed by the power of James Brown and for a movie-mad kid like me, every frame of it was a delight. Then Jake and Elwood decide to step into a restaurant on the famed Maxwell Street to grab some lunch and, hopefully, their old guitar player and saxophonist. What they run into is a force of nature that not even the combined efforts of all the top visual effects artists in Hollywood could ever hope to equal—a pissed-off Aretha Franklin laying down the law to her husband, the guitarist, via a rendition of “Think,” the 1968 song that she co-wrote with her real life then-husband Ted White. Her performance was volcanic—a show-stopper in the best possible sense—and for the three minutes and change that she is singing, the film essentially shifts in tone from goofy musical comedy to grand opera. Even people who didn’t like the film as a whole—and such miserable creatures do exist—were blown away by that scene and many critics pointed out that one flaw in the film is that when Jake and Elwood leave with their former bandmates, they inexplicably neglected to bring her along as well.

As a result of that movie, I began looking into the R&B/soul legends who populated the soundtrack and whose careers were given a welcome boost as a result of their association with the film, Franklin chief among them. I will admit that there are other people who could better articulate the power of her voice and how it not only revolutionized the music world but proved to be a force of strength in the battles for civil rights and women’s rights. I am not even going to attempt to do that for fear of inadvertently sounding like a character out of a lesser Nick Hornby novel. I will, say, however, that she was an artist who well and truly gave her all with every performance. She could take a dumb song (I’m looking at you, “Freeway of Love”) and usually invest it with far more passion and energy than it deserved so that even the throwaway filler tracks had more life to them than the best efforts of most of her contemporaries. When she had the chance to work on better material—(“You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman” to “Think” (which she would eventually perform in “what would be one of the few highlights in the otherwise dire “Blues Brothers 2000”) to “Nessun Dorma,” the aria from Puccini’s “Turandot” that she famously performed during the 1998 Grammy Awards for millions of viewers, literally at the last minute, after original performer Placido Domingo fell ill—the results were simply exhilarating. She may be gone now in the literal sense but thanks to her musical legacy, the power and presence that she demonstrated every time she stepped up to a microphone will never be diminished.

MATT FAGERHOLM

Some people have you at "hello." Aretha Franklin had me at "Think." Her performance of that iconic tune in "The Blues Brothers" was such an electrifying and hilarious showstopper that it made me a lifelong fan. I received a six-CD boxed set of her greatest hits for Christmas that I listened to throughout my childhood, amazed by the versatility of her genius. Three years ago, she made a surprise appearance at the Kennedy Center Honors, where she paid tribute to Carole King by bringing down the house with "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman." President Obama wept, and I did too. Thank you, Aretha, for your limitless inspiration.

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