#eli: im gonna make your husband look so dumb youre gonna want a divorce and then ill be your marriage counselor

[jrueships]

i love the wide receiver corner back dynamic

[tamiddyinyourcity]

6:51pm, WHY ARE BITCHE-- nevermind, man.

Anyway, I'm irritated again. Not sure why. A plethora of reasons, i guess.

The headassery of the divorcee chick getting on my nerves, just to not even go through with collecting evidence from the divorce? Good job collecting alimoney, if you somehow land a decent amount without any of the necessary evidence that your husband disliked you enough to need hella escorts to see behind your back. She didn't deserve a cheating whore of a husband, but she made herself look really dumb today. It's like THATS YOUR LIFE, MAAM? Your rent, source of income if your job fires you, and so much more also????? I wouldn't toss out the chance for revenge money, if it meant the offchance that a girl saw me Taylor Swifting on Instagram; jesus.

7:34pm, my grandmother had something rancid in the microwave. As expected, whatever it was exploded and she never cleaned it up. It smells like a rotten egg. Fucks sake.

My grandmother making the house smell disgusting.

I have a headache, probably due to my morning being wack, and not eating much but microwaved junk food repeatedly.

I lack the feeling to create.... im tired.

Nothing interests me.

I still need to sleep. I will go to sleep soon, i freaking need it.

The idea of purchasing items. On one hand, Eli gave me 400 dollars in one weekend. Half of it just because I asked nicely, and the other for helping him dress and get inside of his chair today. Despite that, I feel the need to save. What if I decide to skip town? Change my name and make a new life?

Spend money on art supplies that I will either lose, or lose interest in using and hide somewhere in my room? Save money for a future that I may not have? God, why.

Living is exhausting.

And mildly annoyed at my mom, since when she learned what marxism was, she did her usual "that sounds cool, but, sounds like white family shit".... and then said "since theyre the ones who can afford to have time to think about that". True, Patrick is nearly middle class. (And hot as fuck.) His family does well for themselves, and he doesn't do much outside of the job he's content with, and not having to pay rent. Eh. So there is privilege, but

Plus when describing to her about the lack of need to work or produce solely based on commodity and moreso out of interest, she had went "yeah but then not everyone would want to work".... duh bitch.... since if no one needs to work, then, they can not do work! Easy. But even people who dont work get bored. It's simple. If you frame jobs in a "we can get the same done job for either more money and more freedom for individuals, or less effort and more freedom for individuals", or even subtract money entirely... then you dont need to work. Food, medicine, schools, education, and housing still would exist. Trades and crafts would still exist. Just no need to refuse it all for the sake of a green piece of paper or a blank check we falsely give value.

Also, its annoying that no one has organized a rent strike yet. Or something. Since I'm annoyed at how many people I know who are losing jobs and homes. Eli, for example, if he gets fired, he has 60 days to find a new job or he gets sent all the way back to Canada. That's fucked up man. Plus, Canada did close its borders.... So either way, he'd be fucked. (Then again, SF claimed to shut down businesses, and oh look, plenty are open.)

Generally, time feels like a thick and endless jelly. Not many to speak to, nor many I want to. My spam is dead, and I'm kinda losing it? And yet, somehow still saner than I was maybe a week ago? We passed the homicidal thought stage and entered the "what is the meaning of life" stage.... let's hope I don't shave my head and dye it platinum blonde.

7:56pm. I'm gonna have a stroke if I don't let myself sleep. Bye.