#eli palmer x femDeputy

[shortysquadpresident]

So I wrote a thing. Far Cry 5, Post Only You mission, angsty as shit with a hefty sprinkling of Eli x Deputy. Idk how to do a Read More on mobile, so sorry for the wall of text.

She was so tired of reliving this moment. Everything in vivid detail, frozen for a split moment in time as Eli’s body was knocked back from her gunshots. The look of shock, the betrayal etched into his gruff features would be burned into the ridges of her brain matter for eternity, of this she was certain. She has never felt guilt like this before and didn’t know if anything to come would ever compare to it wriggling, gnashing violently in the pit of her stomach. It was so visceral, so painful it made her scalp prickle and goosebumps rise on her skin. He never even fired a shot to defend himself. Not a single one. He didn’t want to hurt her. Of course he didn’t want to hurt her; they’d grown so close in the last few months. He trusted her, believed in her so strongly. He had invited her into his base, into his family of misfits with open arms. He’d seen the strength in her, the resolve to get rid of this fucking cult that had spread like a cancer through her chosen home of Hope County and he had trusted her to get it done. No, he’d barely even raised his weapon against her.

The worst was the recognition. Her finger squeezing the trigger before registering who was actually at the other end of her sights, far too late to stop herself. It hadn’t been some faceless mannequin of Jacob’s design, not this time. Staci had warned her what Jacob had planned for her when he helped her escape from Jacob’s playground the last time. She had vowed then never to return to the Wolf’s Den. She couldn’t kill Eli if she never saw him again, right? So how the fuck did she end up back in that bunker?

The last thing she solidly remembered was hunting up some dinner with Sharky; The ambush, pain stabbing in her thigh, then the immediate fogginess in her head from the drugged arrow. And that song. That fucking song she had actually used to really like. Now it made her sick, made pain blossom at the base of her skull before wracking her whole head agonizingly. No, she can’t remember how she got to the bunker, but she supposed it didn’t really even matter. What mattered was she got there. Drugged out of her mind and on some MK Ultra-level bullshit programming she’d found her way back to the Den, back to Eli. She had hoped their reunion would be sweet, that she’d kill Jacob Seed, free the Whitetail Mountains of his hold, and be able to explain why she’d ghosted Eli out of nowhere.

“Eli’s sweet on you,” Sharky had said and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t get a flutter in her stomach each time she was near him, too. Sure, he was every bit the image of a grizzled Mountain Man with his bushy beard and unkempt hair, but he was also kind and fiercely protective of the people he lead. And he respected her. Really, truly respected her. Most folks in Hope County saw her as some kind of invincible action hero, unrealistic in their expectations that nothing fazed her, not the innumerable body count she was racking up or the various drugging-and-kidnappings she’d endured. Eli, however, treated her as a real flesh and blood human being; he listened to her patiently when the pressure of carrying a resistance on her back threatened to crush her, sat quietly and held her when she couldn’t hold back the tears, the wracking sobs when the killing became too much. Killing people was not why she joined law enforcement, that was so not her bag. She wanted to help people, to protect them. She’d hardly ever hunted more than skunks and squirrels before the Eden’s Gate cult clusterfuck began and now she was taking down entire compounds of humans with a sniper rifle and sub machine gun. She was so far removed from the rookie deputy she began as that she hardly recognized herself anymore. She’d been drugged, beaten, starved, thrown off a cliff, shot, stabbed, burned, and god knows what all else. The damage was really beginning to show and she was terrified, disgusted even and Eli listened to her, never judging or offering hollow words of comfort. He’d wait until she was done, until her sobs subsided and her energy was drained and he would brush her hair back out of her face. He’d smile softly, wipe tears from her cheeks and tell her how hard he knows everything must be on her, that leading a resistance is hell and she could vent to him any time it all became too much. He’d understand if she decided it was too hard for her, that she didn’t want to fight so fiercely for a while or at all any more; she’d done so much already and they were all so grateful to her. He made sure she knew she had a choice, that she wasn’t beholden to the Resistance or the Whitetail Militia and that she’d already helped get them that much closer to getting rid of the Seeds for good. He also assured her that she’d always have a place at the Wolf’s Den should she want it. And God, did she want it. She’d asked for just a few days of rest to clear her head and then she’d decide if she was ready to continue or let the Militia and the Resistance continue on their own. The folks at the prison had all been nice and respectful, but in the few days she spent there the residents of the Wolf’s Den felt like an honest-to-god family. She helped cook and clean, not just the bunker but weapons as well. She helped Wheatey with the radio station he’d set up, DJ’ing those old rock ‘n’ roll jams while he expounded on the virtue of a good, old fashioned vinyl record. Eli used some of their time together to teach her how to use the bow and arrows, only having her practice on stationary targets until she assured him that getting some squirrels for a stew or a deer for dinner wasn’t going to break her. After getting to know every one of the folks staying at the Den and their agents who were in and out on various missions she approached Eli. “Everyone here has lost so much to those fuckin Peggies, but they’ve still got each other. That’s important, Eli. It’s important to fight for even that semblance of normalcy and family. I’m not giving up until the Seeds are gone and people are safe again.” He’d smiled at her, full toothy grin and brought her into an embrace. “That’s my girl” and she’d have to admit, she liked the sound of that.

Yeah, Eli was sweet on her and she sure was sweet on him, which made the realization that she’d murdered him smash through her like The Widowmaker through a Peggie roadblock every time she relived it. Folks told her it wasn’t her fault, that that’s just what Jacob does; he gets in your head and makes you do shit you’d never dream of, but she could see the tightness in their eyes, the doubt, as though they were saying it to convince themselves as much as her, too. She’d never felt such an overwhelming sense of guilt in her life and honestly, she felt she deserved it. Deserved that ugly gnawing thing as it wriggled beneath her skin. But something else lived right alongside it now, intertwined with the guilt was another violent thing. Rage. John Seed had said her sin was Wrath and she was beginning to think he was on to something. She didn’t know if the guilt would ever subside, but she did know that she was going to raze every single fucking Peggy compound, foothold, roadblock, reaping truck, all of it, to the motherfucking ground and then she would stand tall amongst the ashes. She only prayed it would give her a feeling of relief.

[shortysquadpresident]

I found the draft for this in my notes and re-read it today. Um I’m p proud of it so here it is again 😬

So I wrote a thing. Far Cry 5, Post Only You mission, angsty as shit with a hefty sprinkling of Eli x Deputy. Idk how to do a Read More on mobile, so sorry for the wall of text.

She was so tired of reliving this moment. Everything in vivid detail, frozen for a split moment in time as Eli’s body was knocked back from her gunshots. The look of shock, the betrayal etched into his gruff features would be burned into the ridges of her brain matter for eternity, of this she was certain. She has never felt guilt like this before and didn’t know if anything to come would ever compare to it wriggling, gnashing violently in the pit of her stomach. It was so visceral, so painful it made her scalp prickle and goosebumps rise on her skin. He never even fired a shot to defend himself. Not a single one. He didn’t want to hurt her. Of course he didn’t want to hurt her; they’d grown so close in the last few months. He trusted her, believed in her so strongly. He had invited her into his base, into his family of misfits with open arms. He’d seen the strength in her, the resolve to get rid of this fucking cult that had spread like a cancer through her chosen home of Hope County and he had trusted her to get it done. No, he’d barely even raised his weapon against her.

The worst was the recognition. Her finger squeezing the trigger before registering who was actually at the other end of her sights, far too late to stop herself. It hadn’t been some faceless mannequin of Jacob’s design, not this time. Staci had warned her what Jacob had planned for her when he helped her escape from Jacob’s playground the last time. She had vowed then never to return to the Wolf’s Den. She couldn’t kill Eli if she never saw him again, right? So how the fuck did she end up back in that bunker?

The last thing she solidly remembered was hunting up some dinner with Sharky; The ambush, pain stabbing in her thigh, then the immediate fogginess in her head from the drugged arrow. And that song. That fucking song she had actually used to really like. Now it made her sick, made pain blossom at the base of her skull before wracking her whole head agonizingly. No, she can’t remember how she got to the bunker, but she supposed it didn’t really even matter. What mattered was she got there. Drugged out of her mind and on some MK Ultra-level bullshit programming she’d found her way back to the Den, back to Eli. She had hoped their reunion would be sweet, that she’d kill Jacob Seed, free the Whitetail Mountains of his hold, and be able to explain why she’d ghosted Eli out of nowhere.

“Eli’s sweet on you,” Sharky had said and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t get a flutter in her stomach each time she was near him, too. Sure, he was every bit the image of a grizzled Mountain Man with his bushy beard and unkempt hair, but he was also kind and fiercely protective of the people he lead. And he respected her. Really, truly respected her. Most folks in Hope County saw her as some kind of invincible action hero, unrealistic in their expectations that nothing fazed her, not the innumerable body count she was racking up or the various drugging-and-kidnappings she’d endured. Eli, however, treated her as a real flesh and blood human being; he listened to her patiently when the pressure of carrying a resistance on her back threatened to crush her, sat quietly and held her when she couldn’t hold back the tears, the wracking sobs when the killing became too much. Killing people was not why she joined law enforcement, that was so not her bag. She wanted to help people, to protect them. She’d hardly ever hunted more than skunks and squirrels before the Eden’s Gate cult clusterfuck began and now she was taking down entire compounds of humans with a sniper rifle and sub machine gun. She was so far removed from the rookie deputy she began as that she hardly recognized herself anymore. She’d been drugged, beaten, starved, thrown off a cliff, shot, stabbed, burned, and god knows what all else. The damage was really beginning to show and she was terrified, disgusted even and Eli listened to her, never judging or offering hollow words of comfort. He’d wait until she was done, until her sobs subsided and her energy was drained and he would brush her hair back out of her face. He’d smile softly, wipe tears from her cheeks and tell her how hard he knows everything must be on her, that leading a resistance is hell and she could vent to him any time it all became too much. He’d understand if she decided it was too hard for her, that she didn’t want to fight so fiercely for a while or at all any more; she’d done so much already and they were all so grateful to her. He made sure she knew she had a choice, that she wasn’t beholden to the Resistance or the Whitetail Militia and that she’d already helped get them that much closer to getting rid of the Seeds for good. He also assured her that she’d always have a place at the Wolf’s Den should she want it. And God, did she want it. She’d asked for just a few days of rest to clear her head and then she’d decide if she was ready to continue or let the Militia and the Resistance continue on their own. The folks at the prison had all been nice and respectful, but in the few days she spent there the residents of the Wolf’s Den felt like an honest-to-god family. She helped cook and clean, not just the bunker but weapons as well. She helped Wheatey with the radio station he’d set up, DJ’ing those old rock ‘n’ roll jams while he expounded on the virtue of a good, old fashioned vinyl record. Eli used some of their time together to teach her how to use the bow and arrows, only having her practice on stationary targets until she assured him that getting some squirrels for a stew or a deer for dinner wasn’t going to break her. After getting to know every one of the folks staying at the Den and their agents who were in and out on various missions she approached Eli. “Everyone here has lost so much to those fuckin Peggies, but they’ve still got each other. That’s important, Eli. It’s important to fight for even that semblance of normalcy and family. I’m not giving up until the Seeds are gone and people are safe again.” He’d smiled at her, full toothy grin and brought her into an embrace. “That’s my girl” and she’d have to admit, she liked the sound of that.

Yeah, Eli was sweet on her and she sure was sweet on him, which made the realization that she’d murdered him smash through her like The Widowmaker through a Peggie roadblock every time she relived it. Folks told her it wasn’t her fault, that that’s just what Jacob does; he gets in your head and makes you do shit you’d never dream of, but she could see the tightness in their eyes, the doubt, as though they were saying it to convince themselves as much as her, too. She’d never felt such an overwhelming sense of guilt in her life and honestly, she felt she deserved it. Deserved that ugly gnawing thing as it wriggled beneath her skin. But something else lived right alongside it now, intertwined with the guilt was another violent thing. Rage. John Seed had said her sin was Wrath and she was beginning to think he was on to something. She didn’t know if the guilt would ever subside, but she did know that she was going to raze every single fucking Peggy compound, foothold, roadblock, reaping truck, all of it, to the motherfucking ground and then she would stand tall amongst the ashes. She only prayed it would give her a feeling of relief.