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grantgoddard · 7 months ago

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The genesis of black music radio in London … still unfulfilled : 1970-1984 : Radio Invicta 92.4

I only knew 'Roger Tate' (real name Bob Tomalski) through listening to his programmes on the radio. He was a DJ on 'Radio Invicta', London’s first soul music radio station, launched in 1970. Invicta was a pirate radio station. Back then, there were no legal radio stations in the UK other than the BBC.

The notion of a campaign for a soul music radio station for London had been a little premature, given that no kind of commercial radio had yet existed in Britain. But that is exactly what Radio Invicta did. As Roger Tate explained on-air in 1974:

“Who are Radio Invicta? You may well be asking. Well, we’re an all-soul music radio station. We’re more of a campaign than a radio station, I suppose. We believe in featuring more good soul music on the radio.”

By 1982, 'Black Echoes' music paper reported that Radio Invicta was attracting 26,000 listeners each weekend for its broadcasts. By 1983, Radio Invicta had collected a petition of 20,000 signatures in support of its campaign for a legal radio licence. There was sufficient space on the FM band for London to have dozens more radio stations. By then, local commercial radio had existed in the UK for a decade. But nobody in power wanted to receive the station’s petition and Invicta’s Mike Strawson commented:

“I have tried to speak to the Home Office about it, but it shuts the door.”

Radio Invicta eventually closed for good on 15 July 1984, the date that the new 'Telecommunications Act' had dramatically increased the penalties for getting caught doing pirate radio to a £2,000 fine and/or three months in jail. By then, 'Capital Radio' had enjoyed its licence as London’s only commercial radio music station for eleven years. Its monopoly reign was still to run for a further six years.

It might have seemed in 1984 that Radio Invicta’s fourteen-year struggle to play soul music on the radio in London had come to absolutely nothing. The Invicta team went their separate ways after the pirate station’s closure. Roger Tate continued his career as a successful technology journalist. After his death in 2001, aged only forty-seven, one of his friends, Trevor Brook, spoke of Tate’s determination to play soul music on the radio in the face of opposition from the government and the radio ‘establishment.’ His eulogy at the funeral of his friend included these comments:

“The government told the story that there were no frequencies available. Now Bob was not stupid. He had enough technical knowledge to know that this was simply not true. So, either government officials were too dim to realise the truth of the situation ... or they were just lying. Nowadays, we have 300 independent transmitters operating in those same wavebands, so you can probably work out which it was. Anyway, in Britain, the result was that any proper public debate about the possible merits of more radio listening choice was sabotaged by this perpetual claim that it was impossible anyway. So, we had pirates. Other countries which had not liberalised the airwaves had pirates as well, but some of them took the refreshingly realistic approach that no harm was being caused, and they permitted unlicensed operations to continue until they got round to regularising the situation. Ambulances still reached their destinations and no aeroplanes fell out of the sky. Not so in this country though. The enforcement services here were too well funded and the established orthodoxy too well entrenched. That 'frequency cupboard' was going to be kept well and truly locked! Bob had thrown himself into running a regular soul station, Radio Invicta. He built a studio, tore it apart and built a better one. He eventually sectioned off part of the flat as a separate soundproofed area. He built transmitters - and got them working. But Bob was nothing if not multi-skilled, and he excelled in producing the programmes themselves. Using nothing more impressive than an old four-track reel-to-reel tape recorder, Bob would create highly polished jingles and station identifications. ‘Roger Tate, super soul DJ.’ Other stations, both official and unofficial, listened to what Bob and his colleagues did and their ideas were copied or imitated. Faced with the authorities, Bob was remarkable, because he was absolutely fearless. He was certain they were in the wrong and, given enough time, were going to lose the battle. It was a war of attrition and only perpetual piracy was ever going to bring about change. And he was quite right about that. The government kept winning the battle in the courts but began to lose the moral one. Eventually the law was changed. Do we have free radio now? In the sense that anybody can decide to start up a new magazine, find the finance and get on with it, no, we don't have that for radio. The process is bound up with a longwinded regulation and approval process involving a statutory body which has had its fingers burnt in the past by the odd bankruptcy and the odd scandal. So they play safe and issue more licences to those who already have stations. The consequence is that originality and creativity get crushed into blandness and mediocrity. My own teenagers constantly flip between stations in the car, but they don't care enough about any of them to listen indoors. Fresh people don't get to control stations. Behind boardroom doors, they might think it privately, but in what other industry would the chairman of the largest conglomerate in the market dare to say publicly that even the present regime was too open and, I quote, ‘was out of date and was letting inexperienced players into the market’? That is a disgraceful statement. Where would television, theatre, comedy, the arts, and so on be, if new and, by definition, inexperienced people didn't get lots of exposure? The industry is stale, complacent and rotten. Bob, there are more battles out there and we needed you here.”

Ten years later, these words are just as pertinent. It is hard to believe that a bunch of enthusiastic soul music fans who wanted to play their favourite music to their mates could have posed such a threat to the established order. But the history of radio broadcasting in the UK has demonstrated repeatedly that ‘the great and the good’ consider the medium far too important to let control fall out of their hands. Their arguments, however ridiculous, were taken completely seriously because they were the establishment.

Peter Baldwin, deputy director of radio at the 'Independent Broadcasting Authority' [regulator], said in 1985:

“We wouldn’t want to be dealing with two current local stations [in one area]. If it’s Radio Yeovil [operating as the only commercial station in Yeovil], well, that’s okay ... But we couldn’t subscribe to competition [for existing local commercial pop music station Swansea Sound] from Radio Swansea, unless it was in Welsh or concentrated on jazz – and there probably wouldn’t be sufficient demand for that kind of service.”

James Gordon (now Lord Gordon), then managing director of 'Radio Clyde', wrote in 'The Independent' newspaper in 1989:

“It has to be asked whether there is really evidence of pent-up demand from listeners for more localised neighbourhood stations ... Eight to ten London-wide stations would be enough to cater for most tastes.”

David Mellor MP told the House of Commons in 1984:

“The government do not believe that it would be sensible or fair to issue pirate broadcasters with licences to broadcast. To do so, on the basis suggested by the pirate broadcasters, would be progressively to undermine the broadcasting structure that has evolved over the years.”

However, within five years, the government did indeed license a pirate radio station to broadcast in London. Once Invicta had disappeared in 1984, it was superseded by newer, more commercially minded, more entrepreneurial pirate radio stations – 'JFM', 'LWR', 'Horizon' – that played black music for Londoners. In 1985, a new pirate station called 'KISS FM' started, quite hesitantly at first. Its reign as a London pirate proved to be much shorter than Invicta’s but, by the time KISS closed in 1988, it was probably already better known than Invicta.

KISS FM went on to win a London radio licence in 1989 and re-launched legally in 1990. It carried with it the debt of a twenty-year history of black music pirate radio in London started by Radio Invicta and then pushed forward by hundreds of DJ’s who had worked on dozens of London black music stations. KISS FM would never have existed or won its licence without those pirate pioneers.

Sadly, the importance of KISS FM’s licence as the outcome of a twenty-year campaign seemed to be quickly forgotten by its owners and shareholders. The lure of big bucks quickly replaced pirate ideology during a period of history when ‘get rich quick’ was peddled by government as the legitimate prevailing economic philosophy. KISS FM lost the plot rapidly and soon became no more than a money-making machine for a faceless multimedia corporation.

Right now, there remains as big a gap between pirate radio and the licensed radio broadcasters as existed twenty years ago or even forty years ago. London’s supposedly ‘black music’ stations, KISS FM and 'Choice FM', now sound too much of the time like parodies of what they could be. Whereas pirate radio in London still sounds remarkably alive, unconventional and creative. More importantly, only the pirates play the ‘tunes’ that many of us like to hear.

The issue of how black music was ignored by legal radio in London, and then betrayed by newly licensed black music radio stations, is on my mind because of my new book ‘KISS FM: From Radical Radio To Big Business.’ It documents a small part of the history of black music pirate radio in London, and it charts the transformation of KISS FM from a rag tag group of black music fanatics into a corporate horror story. I was on the inside of that metamorphosis and it was an experience that, even twenty years later, remains a sad and terrible time to recall.

In 1974, Roger Tate had wanted more black music to be heard on the radio in London. Ostensibly, that objective has been achieved. But the black music I hear played on white-owned stations in London (there is no black-owned station) is a kind of vanilla 'K-Tel' ‘black music’ that is inoffensive and unchallenging.

If Croydon is the dubstep capital of the world, how come there is no FM radio station playing dubstep in Croydon, or even in London? How come I never hear reggae on the radio when London is one of the world cities for reggae? How come I had to turn to speech station 'BBC Radio Four' to hear anything about the death of Gil Scott-Heron in May? Why is it that Jean Adebambo’s suicide went completely unremarked by radio two years ago?

Legitimate radio in London seems just as scared of contemporary cutting-edge black music as it was in the 1970’s when Roger Tate was trying to fill the gaping hole with Radio Invicta. Nothing has really changed. Except now there exists the internet to fill that gaping hole. And FM pirate radio in London continues to satisfy demands from an audience that legitimate radio has demonstrated time and time again that it doesn’t give a shit about. Is it any surprise that young people are deserting broadcast radio?

Forty years ago, I listened to Roger Tate and London pirates like Radio Invicta because they played the music I wanted to hear. Forty years later, I find it absolutely ridiculous that I am still listening to a new generation of London pirates because they still play the music I want to hear. As Trevor Brook suggested at Roger’s funeral, our radio system is so consumed by “blandness and mediocrity” that “the industry is stale, complacent and rotten.”

Roger Tate R.I.P. You may be gone, but you and your campaign at Radio Invicta are as necessary as ever today. Sad but true.

[First published by Grant Goddard: Radio Blog as 'Radio Invicta: The Genesis Of Black Music Radio In London … Still Unfulfilled', 1 July 2011.]

[Republished recently at https://peoplelikeyoudontworkinradio.blogspot.com/2024/05/the-genesis-of-black-music-radio-in.html ]

#community radio #Grant Goddard #KISS FM #local radio #London #media regulation #music #pirate radio #radio #radio broadcasting #radio industry #radio licensing #radio regulation #radio station #soul music

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amorchai · 1 year ago

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𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 ─ s.h

pairing(s): steve harrington x reader

summary: four times you were oblivious to steve’s signs, and the one time you weren’t.

word count: 3805

warnings/tags: steve being a big ol' softie in love, signs being shut down, some feelings of embarrassment [ on steve's side ], eddie being oblivious and robin trying to help steve. fluff fluff fluff

𝐈. the first time you were oblivious to steve’s signs… was when steve offered you the passenger seat.

it was the middle of summer, sweltering heat along hawkin’s beach and steve had thoroughly enjoyed the day of watching you interact with the kids. his eyes delicately scanning along your sunglass-covered face as you grin and laugh alongside lucas, playing paddled tennis against robin and max by the edge of the water.

the whole time everyone was there, steve was gawking, not listening to a word anyone had to say as he tries to convince himself to do something about the unbearable crush he had on you. “you gotta do something about this,” mike interrupts, cutting off dustin mid-sentence as steve’s heads currently as high as the clouds – watching an angel.

“what do you mean, wheeler?” asks steve, not turning in his position. eddie was unfocused, tongue sticking out his mouth as he tried to effortlessly roll his cigarette, eleven watching him curiously before replying for her boyfriend, “about your crush on y/n.”

he tried to shrug it off, an ‘i don’t know what you mean’ causing the whole group to grunt in reply. everyone knew he was lying, and steve knew they knew. but his love for you came crashing one day and everything made sense to steve all of a sudden, you were the one for him.

steve got into his head quite easily, but nothing compared to when he noticed you in that way. he couldn’t imagine anyone else in that light but you, this whole idea if he was your boyfriend that he had to mentally slap himself – he wasn’t your boyfriend. because he hadn’t gained the confidence to ask you out.

but steve thought that day was different, that he was ready. robin sat down next to him while you sat next to eddie, resting your head tiredly to his shoulder, “i have a plan,” steve had whispered to his best friend.

the group wave nancy and the young teens off, watching as jonathan holds her hand and the kids all chatter, collecting their bikes to ride home from a chilled day at the beach, high off the fun of it all. steve swings the keyring of his car keys around his finger, with purpose, while walking to his car.

you and robin were a few meters behind, giggling and making fun of the way eddie previously fell in the water – hair blocking his eyes while he looked like a kicked puppy. and steve chuckles along, opening the passenger door and turning towards you, here goes nothing.

“y/n-” steve starts but is immediately cut off with a ‘humph’ as eddie jumps onto his back, hands on either of steve’s shoulders with a heavy push and loud howl of laughter upon successfully scaring steve.

“got ya, harrington! god, you should’ve looked at your face! classic!” steve could smell the smoke off his breath, watching eddie who stands in front of him now, glaring while the brunette was far too close to the front passenger seat than steve would like.

you and robin had stopped talking, now watching the interaction unfold with contained grins. “can i sit here or not?” asks eddie, oblivious to the fact that steve was sweating to ask you. unlike everyone else had shared knowing glances the whole day, eddie munson was the complete opposite.

steve stares over at you, ignoring robin’s widely amused eyes and raised eyebrows waiting on her best friend to answer and cover his tracks. but he just sighs, turning back to eddie and nodding defeatedly, “yeah fine, move it.”

“well, thank you for opening the door for me princess, keep doing stuff like this i might get the wrong idea,” steve was unsure how eddie couldn’t see the steam across steve’s face, nearby missing eddie’s clunky foot while slamming the door shut.

once getting in the car, robin leans over to slap the back of eddie’s head, having ruined steve’s plan. while it wasn’t full proof or obvious, robin still felt for steve. the boy has his head against the steering wheel, contemplating his decisions while eddie curses at robin.

“are you okay?” you ask steve in the oh-so-sweet voice you have, the very one he fell in love with and steve sits up, staring at the beach from his parking space, “don’t you just hate it that there’s not an extra seat up here?” asks steve.

eddie pulls a face at steve while robin only shakes her head knowingly at the stream of tries, while you reply, “i mean yeah? they used to have an extra seat in some cars last decade but i’m not sure it was safe, steve.” and steve can only blush while starting his car.

before steve can ask if you’re okay to be dropped off last, in his final attempt, eddie – now the vein of steve’s life – perks up in the seat that was supposed to be yours, “harrington! could you drop me last? i need to stop off at the record place, the new mötley crüe record is finally out.”

steve refrains slamming his head against the steering wheel once more to save an upcoming concussion.

𝐈𝐈. the second time you were oblivious to steve’s signs… was when he asked you to the movies.

one of the hundreds of reasons steve loved you was the fact you worked in a bakery. an added bonus that it was across the street from family video where he worked. it meant you’d spend your lunch break bringing over spare pastries and heavenly good hot chocolate for him and robin.

it was the best part of steve’s shifts, spent behind counter while robin stocked. or vice versa. it was a boring job, but pays well for working with his best friend. so, robin sits on the dirty hard floor by the comedy section, marking off and updating the comedies of the month while steve doodles on the company notebook, not a customer in sight for the monday afternoon.

a large black inked line covers the page when steve looks up, his hand losing itself when he catches the sight of you – paper bag in one hand, a tray of hot drinks in the other, and a hop in your step. steve swoons utterly and entirely, the smile on your face while opening the shop door enough to make steve harrington’s knees weak and heart thumping in his chest.

“y/n,” he whispers, quietly and pathetically when the bell chimes, the door closing behind you. robin’s head peaks from the side of the aisle, waving at you from her spot, “hey y/n, how’s your day been?”

you wave back at her, before your eyes quickly find steve’s once more – shy grins as you walk to the counter he sits at – placing the paper bag filled with pastries upon it. you were so sweet, how did steve find someone so sweet? how could he not love someone so very sweet?

his inner thoughts cut off, “good! mr. barclay came in today, gave me a new movie recommendation.” you are referring to the sweet old man who comes into the bakery most days, a regular customer who used to shop and read the newspaper with his wife. until one day, it was just him there forward.

“oh yeah? something we’ll have here?” steve asks you, from his spot, eyes simply gleaming. you start unpacking the bakery food while replying, “no, it’s just came into the cinema! so i’ll need to go see it sometime, it sounds really good!”

steve immediately notices his pastry you pick out for him each time, you know him too well. a chocolate croissant and blueberry muffins to pair with. “robin, i brought you both food!” you pipe up, trying to look back to the light brunette who’s lost in the length of movies.

“i’ll be right there!” robin speaks from her spot, hoping steve catches on to her absence.

perfect! steve thinks, now’s my chance!

“say… do you need some company? i’d be happy to go see the movie with you, we could go tonight?” steve tries to sound cool, like most of his player high-school years aren’t completely out the window and he’s embarrassed at how little he’s dated in years after nancy freaking wheeler.

your eyes shine at his, sliding the cup of chocolate towards him as well as the warm pastries you heated up especially for them and steve’s nervous for you to reply.

“i’d love that, stevie!” he huffs a sigh of relief upon your confirmation, it was a date! he was going to take you on a date to the movies tonight, steve’s mind swings with possibility during a beat of silence. what he’d wear, what he’d bring you, snacks he’d buy you both, holding your hand, walking you to your front door.

it doesn’t last too long, as robin stands from her spot, dusting off her brown plaid trousers from the dark dust and you turn to her, “are you free tonight, robs? i should ask eddie and nancy too! i would ask the kids, but it sounded too cheesy for the kids taste? i could phone dustin and see if they would.”

steve’s heart plummets, and robin notices too quickly as she paces towards them, before she could claim she’s not free in order to score steve time with you alone, you’re leaning over steve to grip their work phone and dial the kid’s number.

picking up the chocolate croissant, steve doesn’t even care if there’s a few dotted marks of chocolate around his top lip – sadly eating his food while watching you enthuse of steve’s plan. robin pats his shoulder, sipping her own chocolate drink with sympathy written across her face.

at least steve would still get to spend time with you, even if it wasn’t alone, on what he could’ve made a date.

another time, steve thinks.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. the third time you were oblivious to steve’s signs… was when he offered you his jacket.

a night with everyone had been spent outside eddie’s trailer, or as steve was now calling him – eddie ‘the ruiner’ munson ever since he wedged himself in the seat between you and steve on the cinema night. claiming that he wanted to sit next to you, because you both liked salted popcorn unlike steve’s ‘horrific’ comment on his preference of sweet popcorn.

as the night went on and the sky went a pitch black, despite the summer season the air was cold and breezy throughout hawkin’s. everyone sat in chairs around the fire, steve lucky enough to actually be sat next to you and not listening to munson’s loud chewing.

poor eddie, robin would say again, if she knew what steve was thinking. the guy never did anything wrong, just got in the way of steve’s advances towards you. and sure, maybe they weren’t that obvious, maybe they were stupid ways to show his interest rather than outwardly admitting his feelings and ensuring that when he’s asking you out that it’s a date for just you and him.

not the entirety of his friend group.

you had shivered beneath your sweatshirt, not enough to keep the cold at bay. steve turns away from watching lucas and dustin dummy fight, loud howling laughter overcutting the rock music playing from eddie’s record player in his bedroom – open window allowing the music to travel.

you were beyond beautiful to him. the whole night he had listened to each of the stories you told holding such interest, and even when someone else was telling a story – steve would watch you. your expressions and reactions much more swooning than any story about mike accidentally stealing a bag of candy last week without knowing.

to everyone but you, it was beyond obvious. steve was head over heels for you, and eddie had even played the song ‘head over heels’ by tears for fears to poke fun but the joke backfired on the fact that he owned a tears for fears record.

you were listening to robin and nancy converse, sinking into your seat comfortably while trying to undercut how cold you were that you didn’t notice steve staring once more. watching as you rub your sweatshirt-covered arms for some heat or close your eyes tiredly every so often.

“do you want my jacket?” he leaned over to whisper to you, your dull and achy eyes opening to turn to your best friend – who’s breath is fanning your face, sending an ounce of warmth across you.

“what?” you ask him, a bit out of it and confused at how intense steve stares at you, shivers running across your body you’re not sure if it’s the effects of the temperature or of steve. he chuckles, warmly and kindly, “you’re freezing, i can tell. do you want to wear my jacket?”

you furrow your eyebrows, “but what about you?” you asked, everyone tuning into the conversation with knowing glances and expectant smirks. mike kicking steve’s foot teasingly from his other side, steve kicking him right back.

“i’m fine don’t worry about me, stevie. want to make sure you’re warm too,” you reply and steve wants to crawl into a hole and scream at how unaware you are, or at how stupid he’s being in sending shitty signs.

steve starts to shuffle his jacket off his shoulders, assuring you, “i have a sweater on, trust me, i’ll be fine. here, you can borrow it.” he extends his offer, bomber jacket in his hand and lifted towards you and you stare longingly at the jacket before back up at steve, worried, “no, steve. it’s okay, i swear.”

he’s defeated once again, he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by continuously asking but steve’s unsure how to make his love known when they’re not small loving gestures like this – trying to keep you warm on a cold hawkin’s night.

“i’m freezing over here, stevie,” max cuts in, teasing him while the other kids snicker beside her. steve tears his glance from you and to the redhead, wearing a large smirk and gleaming eyes that steve would complain about later.

“shut it, mayfield.”

but steve chucks the jacket towards max, ignoring the hushed giggles and sympathetic stares as he tries to think about how he could escape this situation, and how he’d go about it next time – maybe when he isn’t in the same space as all his friends but a moment he catches you alone.

he’s willing to try again.

𝐈𝐕. the fourth time you were oblivious to steve’s signs… was when he was blatantly obvious.

“you think it would be weird if you became more than friends with your best friend?” steve had asked into the quiet room, allowing you to easily hear from under his arm. a movie night was in order when robin was out of town, steve had spent lunch with you alone and mustered up the courage to a ‘totally casual not at all terrifying’ movie night where he could try to show you he loved you again.

he immediately regrets his words, way to be subtle harrington, steve thought. he fears he came across too forward and might scare you off from the idea of dating steve harrington, your best friend.

‘some kind of wonderful’ plays on his living-room television, a new friends to lovers movie that steve purposely picked out the romcom section in tune for tonight. he was a little worried, incase you felt overwhelmed by it all and it might affect your friendship that steve was desperate to make something more.

you take another handful of the bowl of salted popcorn sitting atop steve’s lap, and steve looks down to you when you begin to reply, your eyebrows are furrowed but you look far from offended or scared by his comment, “you’re my best friend, steve?”

both of you knew he was, and had been for the past few years of previously fighting inter-dimensional monsters in order to save hawkin’s and their own lives. it was hard not to be when steve was one to protect you from danger, or when you cleaned him up every time he was knocked around pretty bad.

you were both there for each other, not knowing whether it was friendly or something more.

“i wouldn’t find it weird,” steve’s blatant in his reply, you could probably hear his thumping heart, his head feels light-headed from his comment as he swoons and debates over what you might respond. god, he hoped you understood what he was getting at.

your eyebrows relax, eyes still scanning the artificial screen before humming, leaning back into steve’s side. your arms tighten him in a squeeze around his waist and follow the plot of the movie, head against his chest.

you hummed. that’s it. not a thought into what he just said as you focus on the movie ahead, he knew it wasn’t intentional of you and gets defeated once more – if he’s blatantly obvious what more could he do?

steve’s head lobs against the back of his couch, out of your eyeline while he holds in a groan. shot down once again. steve wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this. the white ceiling posing as much more interesting than the tv screen as the pair of friends finally get together, steve was far too jealous of the characters to look.

he was willing to try one more time in an attempt to make a move.

𝐕. the one time you were not oblivious to steve’s signs… was when he wasn’t trying.

steve had nearly given up on trying. his next option was to tell you he loved you and that’s that. if you reciprocated then that was amazing, but steve feared for his found friendship with you – he wasn’t sure he was willing to risk that.

you were aware of steve’s closing ‘move’. his all-time move had been discussions around girls at school, you overheard during gym – watching as steve excels at track performance – as girls whisper to one another ‘steve did his move last night, can you believe it?’

you’d also heard steve tell his friends, he’d told robin of it before while you were around – steve thinking you were listening to nancy’s discussion. or when he had advised eddie of his move when eddie scored a date, that it ‘never failed’ as his closing date routine.

so when steve walked you to your door after dropping you off from a night at his, the last stop after eleven’s, you were unaware that steve was contemplating whether to tell you he loved you or not.

it was running around steve’s head, this could be the moment that made or broke your relationship with him. depending on how you felt. steve was too in his head, debating with his inner thoughts.

you unlocked the door before turning to steve, either of you facing one another and you could tell steve’s head was elsewhere. “steve,” you assure, breaking him from his reverie – his eyes go wide and glance at you when you continue, “thank you for tonight.”

all thoughts leave his head, “oh, yeah-yeah, of course. thank you for coming, y/n.” before you knew it, steve’s arm was stretched beside you, his hand landed on the wall behind you. almost closing you in, an attempt to continue the conversation.

however, before steve can start, you’re gasping loudly. the sight of steve’s arm beside you and his eyes staring down at yours making your head feel woozy and overwhelmed, “steve!” you gasp again.

your best friend’s eyebrows are furrowed, utterly confused by your reaction when he hadn’t even said anything. “what’s wrong?” he asks, lips parted in an attempt to form more words, however, all more sentences fade him when he watches how shocked you are.

“your move!”

steve’s head lobs forward, ushering you to continue as a feeling quite similar to mortified seeps through his veins. “that’s what you do on the girls you date! the move! why are you doing that?” you ask him, he could tell you were embarrassed yourself – feet shuffling as you awaited his answer.

steve’s whole face feels warm and he’s sure despite the dark night – you could see the entirety of his red face as embarrassment settles into the pit of his stomach.

“that’s what you noticed? you noticed this lame move?” steve’s loud and amused by the fact before admitting his love for you – you notice the uncool move he used to pull on dates. not the offer of his passenger seat all the way to him blatantly stating he wouldn’t mind being more than friends.

he never expected to pull that move, you meant more to him than the lame end-of-date attempt he used to try on girls he liked. because it was you, and you were much more to him.

steve was unequivocally in love with you, and he hadn’t been so in love before. so why would he try his odd hand pose in order to scoop you up and swoon you when he could offer a jacket or blatantly ask you out instead.

“what do you mean?” you ask steve, unsure of what he’s getting at. as if there was more to it than his old school move. he chuckles, shuffling so his arm is back by his side, but now steve has moved a step closer to you that the brown hazel in his eyes are more apparent, shining down at you.

“honey, i’ve been try to tell you for months now how much i’m in love with you.” your mouth gapes, the corners threatening to pull upwards in a smile as you choke, “w-what?” your hand settles on his chest, stepping closer to him.

and by your reaction steve is less scared, you’re not running down the street or slamming the door on his face – only moving closer and smiling up at him. and steve only falls in love more in that moment, “you love me?”

steve eyes scan your face after your question, and you watch as they do, so delicate and sweet like the steve you have always known but now here he is, confessing that he loves you and it’s all tying together and the possibilities seem endless all of a sudden.

“aw, c’mere already,” steve states, breaking the small gap between you both as a kiss settles to your lips. his hand is at the small of your back, pulling you closer to him as he bids not to let you go. your hands reach up to his face, in disbelief you’re kissing steve harrington, your best friend, your touch to his cheeks brings you back to earth.

you weren’t so oblivious anymore, steve thought, glad the whole ordeal’s over as he smiles against your lips, never wanting to pull away.

amorchai masterlist . taglist

#➵ amorchai works ౨ৎ #stranger things ⁑ steve harrington ᡣ𐭩 #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #stranger things #eddie munson #robin buckley

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bylertruther · 2 years ago

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mike, eleven + their fight and how his speech proves to her that which she already knew from the beginning

MIKE: I… I care for you… so much. EL: "Care." [Shrugs.] But you don't… you don't love me anymore? MIKE: What… Who… Who said that I didn't?

fascinating how mike's first reaction is to deflect, shift blame, and worry that there's someone doubting their true feelings.

fascinating how mike could've easily said something like "of course i do!" which gives him an out, allows him to say it without Saying It, but he doesn't. he says "who said that i didn't?" which doesn't deny her claim—and she knows this. she catches it and it marks a serious shift in this fight, because her suspicions have been confirmed.

he wonders who's putting these ideas in her head, who's managed to shatter the illusion they've built, when she's telling him very directly that he's the one making her feel like this. mike tries to deny it, but el realizes she's caught him in a lie ("el's not stupid", "she knows i'm lying", "you lie. why do you lie?") and she needs to know the truth. she needs this closure.

so, she stands up. no longer are they eye-to-eye. el has the high ground and the receipts to back up her statements. "why do you lie?"

EL: You can't even write it, Mike. [Increasingly upset:] "From Mike. "From Mike." "From Mike." "From Mike." "From." MIKE: Okay, okay! Eleven, you're being ridiculous. What, like… What is this?

again, he can't say it. not even in a cheap, cop-out kind of halfway kind of way. they're talking about romantic love, romantic feelings for someone else, and mike can't even touch that topic with a ten foot pole.

nope. instead, he says:

MIKE: You know what I think of you. You're the most incredible person in the world.

which isn't inherently romantic. at all. anyone can be incredible, friends or girlfriends alike. you know what i think of you, the kind of person that i believe you to be—not what i feel for you or the true nature of my feelings, which is what you're begging me to tell you.

eleven isn't asking him if he cares for her. she's asking him if he loves her romantically and mike still cannot say that he does.

she's asking him what he feels for her and he won't tell her.

why? because, as a certain will the wise once said, "sometimes i think it's just scary to open up like that, to say how you really feel, especially to the people you care about the most, because what if they don't like the truth?"

does that not perfectly describe mike's plight here?

he can't answer eleven's question, because he knows she won't like the answer. and if she knows that he doesn't love her the way she wants to be loved, then he worries they won't even be able to be friends anymore. because if she doesn't need him, and she doesn't want him, then how could he ever expect a literal superhero to keep him around for anything else? when he shares that he feels inferior to her and thinks he's just some loser?

he does care for her! and he likely does love her, but not the way that she's asking him to, and that's too scary of a thing to admit. it'd be better for them all if he were to rip the band-aid off, but that's scary, and hard, and painful, so he doesn't. he keeps it on. he tries to placate them both. he deflects. he tells her he cares for her, that she's incredible, a superhero—anything to get her to Not Talk About It, Think About It, Or Look At This Glaring Problem They're In.

now, i'd like to focus on the language used.

MIKE: And you can't let these mouth breathers ruin you. Ruin us. I mean, they're nobodies. And you're a superhero. EL: Not anymore.

mike and eleven have had cute, touching moments before. they could've picked any one of them for mike's "i love you" speech, but instead... they chose the moment they first met.

we already knew that mike was clinging to what their relationship once was and that he still saw her as that girl that once needed him, or at least wanted her to still need him like that, but this was the first clue: "mouth breathers."

it's such a juvenile thing to say in such a serious conversation. it encapsulates the entire fucking issue. mike is hiding behind the past, trying desperately to steer them back to that, because it's safe and comfortable and easy. but they're not those kids anymore.

el is more than just the girl that swooped in and used her powers to save his life, flip a van, and make a mouth breather pee his pants. she wants him to see her as more than that—she knows what he thinks of her, she wants to know if he feels more for her than just that hero idealization and platonic care.

and mike just can't tell her.

not then, when she's crying and pleading with him to.

not later, when she's in someone else's mind, unable to respond or be present in this moment she's been waiting for for ages, and he's prompted to by her brother to say all of the wrong things:

that he wasn't scared of her (he was, and he apologized for it),

that he's scared she won't need him anymore (she doesn't want to need anyone, she's tired of men telling her she "needs" them when she doesn't),

that he thought if he said "i love you" it would make the day she realized she didn't need him anymore hurt more (he can consider his own feelings, but not hers and how his words and lack of them have hurt her?)

"i don't know how to live without you" (a scary statement, since we shouldn't need to depend on anyone to live, el knows that better than anyone)

"and i knew right then and there, in that moment, that i loved you, and i've loved you every day since" (she heard them talk about sending her to the asylum and handing her off to his mom, they also were not in love when they were first getting to know each other as she didn't even know what a friend was)

"i love you on your bad days" (one word: rink-o-mania),

"i love you with your powers—" (yes, we know that),

"—without your powers" (is that why you could only say this once she got her powers back? if so, why do you always talk about her powers and her being a superhero when talking about love?)

"i love you for exactly who you are" ("you think i'm a monster too. [..] the way you looked at me." + el saying she went to project nina to find out who she was, proving that she didn't know this prior and if she doesn't know who she is then mike certainly doesn't either)

"you're my superhero" (el's "not anymore.")

all in all, el comes away from that with nothing new. he hasn't told her anything he didn't say the first time. if anything, he's doubled down and proven to her that he wasn't actually listening, and that he's certainly not her heart.

fascinating how mike and eleven's season four journey starts with a lie, mike hiding, el telling him he doesn't love her anymore, mike asking her who said that he didn't, and then him saying in fifty different ways just how much he doesn't. not like that. not like she wants him to, as the cast themselves have told us, too.

really, really fascinating.

#mike blasting holes in his own ship while will is trying desperately to plug them all not even realizing tht el already jumped overboard #or how mike is trying to sail his and will's ship all on his own. fascinating interesting peculiar really makes u think !#mine #milkvan analysis #milkvan

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softtdaisy · 2 years ago

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BARELY BREATHING - STEVE HARRINGTON

DESCRIPTION I you thought Steve was invincible, but his last trip to the upside down proved you wrong

PAIRING I steve harrington × fem!reader

WORD COUNT I 2,1k

A/N I this is the saddest thing I have ever written. Fun fact: I started writing it before season 4 part 2 came back and never posted it for obvious reason 💀I do accept to pay for the tissues if you need them

“Where is he!” you screamed, entering Dustin’s house like it was yours. You looked at all those feared and sad faces. You noticed how some of them jumped at your sudden entrance. You wanted to scream even harder, but you couldn’t. You didn’t have the strength to.

And they were just kids. They weren’t supposed to go through this. You weren’t supposed to go through this either.

For most of your teenage years, you’ve been Dustin’s babysitter. This kid was tiring and hyperactive but God, you loved him so much. He was the baby brother you never had. Even when he grew up, he never stopped spending time with you. If Dustin didn’t need a proper babysitter anymore, he was still happy to go to the cinemas with you. Your relationship was too special to be broken because of stupid things like teenage years.

And then he met Steve Harrington. You couldn’t compete with King Steve. You probably would even choose Steve over yourself. And you guessed it couldn’t be that bad for Dustin to hang out with an older guy. Someone that could talk to him about things one of you won’t be comfortable talking about.

But the truth was worse than that. You had no idea what was going on in their life.

Dustin started to spend more time with Steve and you felt left behind. Not that Dustin was your only friend. But it still hurt to see him chose someone over you. Even when you agreed and said you didn’t mind. And Steve understood that the day you met them at the mall. They were going to see a movie; you had planned to watch with the boy.

Steve probably noticed the disappointment on your face when you said that it was fine. That you could still go another time together. You knew you wouldn’t, but it was worth trying as an excuse.

“Join us.” He proposed with this genuine and soft smile on his face. “I took the biggest popcorn and Mrs. Henderson will probably kill me if he eats too much sugar.”

“Hey!” you didn’t even hear Dustin complained about the remark. You were too grateful for Steve Harrington for being nice to you. “Ok, I’m coming. But only for the pop-corn part.” You noticed Steve little smile when you agreed to come with them.

Dustin now had two babysitters, basically. Two babysitters for whom it took only a few weeks to fall in love. You tried to be as discreet as possible with Steve, never showing any kind of affection in public. Never cuddle or kiss when you weren’t alone, no matter how hard it was to resist your favorite boy. It was just as hard for Steve that couldn’t resist putting a hand on your back or on your arm when you were closed to him. Sometimes he did and he blamed it on his habit of being tactile with people when the kids would notice his hand on your thigh or the way his little finger was brushing yours.

But what you thought was a discreet relationship was actually acknowledged by all the teenagers Steve had somehow adopted. You still weren’t sure to understand how their relationship was working but you liked this side of your boyfriend. Some night, it made you believe that maybe Steve was the one you could grow a family with. And you liked those kids. Even if they were lying to you.

It wasn’t until Billy died and Max was heartbroken that they all decided to tell you about the Upside Down and all the shitty things that was happening in Hawkins. Were you mad for not knowing any of this? Yes. You lectured them all for being careless about hiding all of these. You got a couple of rolling eyes, mostly from Mike, and some apologies, from Will and Eleven.

But what melt your heart was when Steve took your hand. The way you could see the regret for lying to you in his eyes. Even more, you could see the love he had for you in the way he was looking at you that day. “I didn’t want to sideline you. I just wanted to protect you.” At that moment, you didn’t care about any of the kids around. You just grabbed Steve face and gave him the sweetest kiss, that caused some disgust sounds.

“I know you do Steve. But who’s protecting you?” you asked him that day. You meant it in a soft way.

Having no idea that Steve really needed protection.

You knew something was wrong after Chrissy’s death. You could easily guess it had something to do with the Upside Down. But you agreed to not get involved. Steve wanted to protect the kids more than anything. But he knew that if anything was likely to happen to you, you would be his priority. And it wouldn’t be fair. So, it was better to keep you safe, without them.

You did your best to maintain a normal life. Not stressing over Steve disappearing most days because he had to help the group again. You imagined the worst scenarios in your head. But you trusted him when he told you he had everything under control. What could you do? He didn’t want you around the danger, so you had to believe what he was saying.

Which made today even worse.

You were working on your next exam in your bedroom when the talkie-walkie Dustin gave you started making noise. Everything seemed to be in slow motion suddenly, you could feel something was wrong. It was that kind of gut feeling you get when you love someone. “[y/n]? you’re there?” you could tell from Dustin’s voice how scared he was. Something was definitely wrong.

“What’s going on Dustin?” your hand was shaking so much you had a hard time keeping the talkie between your fingers. You didn’t hear most things. Was it because of the talkie or because your brain disconnected itself when you heard Steve’s name for the first name? You weren’t so sure. All you knew was today going to be the worst day in your life.

How you even managed to run to Dustin’s house was a mystery. You were on some kind of auto pilot mode where you let your body decided while your brain couldn’t stop repeating the same sentence. “It’s Steve, [y/n] please come…” And it wasn’t until you were in front of the door you passed so many times in the past that you finally realized.

It was Steve.

Something was wrong with Steve.

None of the kids had the strength to tell you what was going on. But you noticed the red eyes. You saw the way Eddie Munson was hiding from you and shaking in the kitchen. They were all scared of you. Of the way you were going to react when your life was going to be broken, in a few minutes.

“What’s going on? Is Steve hurt? Why are you all here then? Why not at the hospital?” you kept asking questions they didn’t want to answer to. They didn’t have the strength to tell you what happened down there.

They couldn’t tell you why Steve wasn’t at the hospital. Where he should be, probably. If he could be. That was the first sign that told you something really bad happened.

You looked at Dustin. One look. One question. And he answered with another look towards in his mom’s bedroom. He’s there. And you walked there. Or at least in front of the door. You started to imagine what you were going to see. And then you heard it.

Steve’s groan. But not the usual. Not the same groan he made when he hurt himself when you were building Dustin’s new bed and he hit his hand with the hammer. Not the same groan he made when he was driving and the car in front of him was very slow. Definitely not the same groan he made when he was making love to you.

It was a broken groan.

Your boyfriend was broken.

You felt a hand holding yours suddenly and you saw Max beside you. Just like you were when she lost her brother, she was being there for you. And as grateful as you were to have her with you, you were scared it meant the situation was just as terrible as it was for Billy.

There was only way to know.

So you opened the door.

And you saw him. Your lovely, beautiful boyfriend lying there. A pale skin that contrasted with the veins on his arms, with his beautiful brown eyes… and the awful and blood-soaked bandage around his torso. You almost broke down, falling your knees. And you felt Max keeping you straight. You knew why.

“Hi, baby.” You heard Steve said with the lowest and weakest voice you’ve ever heard.

You were already having a blurry vision, but you managed to walk to him. When you put a hand on his face, you felt the coldness of his skin and the tear that rolled down your face immediately. That couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be happening. He was supposed to be the strong one, the one that could fight any stupid creatures and came back as good as he left. He was supposed to stay with you for the rest of your life. Not…

“You should see the monster’s face after what I did to him.” He said with a blink that, you guessed, hurt him more than it should. You could tell from the face he made just after. And you laughed. You laughed until you cried because you couldn’t take it anymore.

Somehow, Steve managed to move a little to give you some space. You immediately lie beside him. You needed to feel him, to know he was there. You hated how cold his arm felt when he put around your shoulder to bring you closer to him.

Steve was always hot. No matter the weather outside, that man was like a werewolf coming out of a young adult novel. He was always super-hot and it gave you the perfect excuse to cuddle with him when it was cold outside. It became such a habit that when you were out during winter, you didn’t need to bring gloves anymore. Holding your boyfriend’s hand was enough.

But today, Steve’s body was cold. And you could tell from the little moan that escape his lips when you put your hand on his arm that you were hotter than him for once. Slowly, you draw the whole line circling his neck with your fingertips. Something or someone must have tried to strangle him. As if stabbing him in the chest wasn’t enough already.

It wasn’t the first time Steve would get hurt because of the Upside Down. You remember the bruises from the whole Starcourt mess. He was always laughing and making jokes about the situation. How he was some kind of superhero for surviving every time. How he looked more badass than ever with those bruises and he should keep them. Or how he would pretend that the groan he made when you were taking care of him was just an excuse to make you keep looking after him. To not make you more anxious about his condition, when he was really hurt.

But this time, nothing could save the day. And when you looked at him, you noticed the tears in his eyes. Because he knew.

“Don’t.” you whispered. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry. Don’t tell me you’re going to be ok. Don’t lie. But don’t tell the truth either. Please, Steve just…don’t.” you could feel your voice breaking. Steve simply nodded at your request and kissed your forehead. The pressure of his lips was so weak it almost break your heart again. That wasn’t fair.

“May I say, one thing?” His eyes were closed, like it was taking him too much strength to keep them open. You didn’t hear your own yes, but you guessed it did with the sweet and small smile on his lips. It was the last effort he could make for you.

“I love you.” You heard him say with a sigh and you immediately started to cry again. You could contain those tears and you couldn’t care about the way they were soak his already ripped t-shirt. You cuddled harder against him, wanted to feel his skin again, to smell his perfume one more time. Your face was so close to his heart that when you say “I love you too”, it went directly there.

It took you a few moments to realize that you were all Steve needed for his last minutes.

You. Your love.

To love and to be loved.

follow @softtdaisywords to know when new stories are released 🤍

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #Steve Harrington x reader #Steve Harrington x you #Steve Harrington angst #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fiction #joe keery #joe keery x reader #joe keery x you #joe keery imagine #my writing

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bylerstrangers · 2 years ago

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I’m tired of Milevens saying “Mike won't break up with Eleven to be with Will”.

So I came here to explain something for all the Milkvan shipers..

The thing is that Mike would never break up with El just to be With Will but Eleven would break up with Mike to be on her own…

Look what Millie said about El..

El storyline isn’t about dating Mike but self development and self discovery and El is the character with the best storyline ever, she’s amazing and in season four she finally could see that…

So in season five El is gonna break up with Mike to be on her own and that’s why she didn’t buy Mike’s monologue. El knows Mike was lying or he doesn’t love her romantically..

She was tired of hating herself and thinking that she’s a monster, her memories were making her feel like this because she didn’t knew she was never the monster but Brenner.

Now El knows that was never about Mike but her…

During Mike’s monologue he said “I love you for exactly who you are” which is obvious about what Will said in the van scene for him..

Will said “When you’re different you feel like a mistake” but Will was talking about himself and not about Eleven..

And there was “I hate who I am” in the script but right after this Will said “you make her(me) feel like she’s(I’m) not a mistake at all”

With all this we can see that Mike makes Will feels like he’s not a mistake at all but El feels like a monster even With Mike so that shows us that El doesn’t need to hear an “I love you” she needs to love herself and Will needs Mike…

So basically Mike was responding to Will’s feelings thinking that was El’s feelings…

The truth is that El doesn’t need Mike at all and Will need him so much..

El’s character is about self-development and finding her self, that’s why she was so “You don’t love me anymore” and “You think I’m a monster too” that’s because she thinks no one is able to love her without her powers and she thinks that everyone around her thinks she’s a monster…

#byler #byler endgame #mike wheeler #will byers

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suckerfordylansstuff · 2 years ago

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New Journey (S.H.) Chapter 5 Season 1

! This is a backstory. There are more chapters to the actual fic. Check my masterlist !

Pairing: (eventual) Steve Harrington x henderson!reader

Summary: The beggining of the story. How did Y/n Henderson get herself into this mess? How did she deal with the loss of a dear friend and how will she survive the bullies and monsters?

Warnings: swearing, blood

Notes: It's been a while I know, but here I am with a new chapter. Not much to sat about this one, just hope you like the angst. Hope you enjoy and please stay safe out there, because I wasn't and I have covid (again)! 💕

Gif not mine

Chapter 4 << Masterlist >> Chapter 6

After your realization, you, Nancy and Jonathan talked about what you were going to do. But unfortunately, all three of you were too upset or confused to think about anything. Nancy was thinking about Barbara, Jonathan about Will, and all you could think about was Dustin’s words.

He confirmed to you that Will was definitely not dead. That they heard him. And it gave you hope. So much that it terrified you. If Will was alive all this time, then where was he? Did he encounter that creature? Was he hurt? Was Barbara there with him?

So many questions that you were determined you were going to answer, one way or another.

The three of you packed your bags and went on your own ways, promising to figure something out tomorrow after the funeral. Jonathan was going to go back to the funeral home to sort everything out, feeling a lot braver now that he knew more about Will’s disappearance. You and Nancy were heading back to her place, so you could talk to the kids and find more about what had happened.

“Hey, maybe it’ll be best if we don’t tell them.” Nancy’s words interrupted your movement. You were ready to open the door to the basement, when you turned to look at your friend “You know… To not get their hopes up…”

The irony. The kids right now knew more about Will than she did. Maybe more than you did. But you couldn’t put Eleven at risk. Not when you were so close, so you just nodded “Yeah, of course.”

She sent you a small smile. It looked like she was hesitant, as if she wanted to ask something more, but she stopped herself and went up her way to her bedroom after telling you goodnight. You watched her as she went up and only when she left did you finally walk into the basement.

“Y/N! Thank God, you’re finally here.” you heard your brother’s exaggerated voice say when he saw you on the staircase.

“You heard Will?” you cut right to the chase. You needed to hear what happened.

“Yes!” they all said in unison, only Eleven staying quiet watching the interaction happening before her.

“So, what did he say?” you urged them to continue.

“He was calling out for his mom. Said that where he was at was like home, but darker…” Mike explained, as he looked confused himself.

“And empty.” Lucas filled in.

“Empty and cold. Wait, did he say cold?” Dustin asked and your head went back and forth listening to them figuring out what Will had said.

“I don’t know. The stupid radio kept going in and out.” Lucas said with frustration.

“It’s like riddles in the dark.” your brother sighed.

You took a moment to yourself to think about what they said.

“You said home? Like his house?” you tried to make some sense over Will’s words.

“Or maybe like Hawkins.” Lucas suggested.

“Upside down.” suddenly, a new voice interrupted your conversation. Eleven had decided to join in, being cryptic as ever.

“What’d she say?” Lucas asked.

“Upside down.” Mike repeated Eleven’s words as if they started to make sense.

“What?” the boy asked again.

“Upside down. When El showed us where Will was, she flipped the board over, remember?” you watched as he walked towards the table and flipped the lying board over “Upside down. Dark Empty.” he looked at you expectingly.

“Do you understand what he’s talking about?” Lucas looked over at Dustin and yourself. Dustin didn’t get what was going on and you were lost in thought, recalling everything the strange little girl had told you.

You remembered when she flipped the board she had placed Will’s character on top of it and the piece of the Demogorgon. Then you had thought it was an analogy for something bad happening to him. A bad man as Mike had described it. But now you know it wasn’t that. The threat was real. An actual monster was running around Hawkins killing and kidnapping people. And it took Will to the one place you can’t see him.

“You think that Will is here?” you pointed at the black board, seeing Mike’s eyes light up when he realized you understood.

“It makes sense.”

“What makes sense?” Lucas was getting frustrated now.

“Think about it guys. When El took us to find Will, she took us to his house, right?” Mike began explaining, the rest of the boys trying hard to understand where he is coming from.

“Yeah. And he wasn’t there.” Lucas said as a matter of fact.

“But what if he was there? We just couldn’t see him?” you tried to explain, but left them more confused. Mike started talking again.

“What if he was on the other side. What if-” he flips the board so the right side is on top “…this is Hawkins and…” he flips it again so it becomes black “…this is where Will is? The Upside down.”

You looked over at the boys and finally saw Dustin realize what you two were saying “Like the Vale of Shadows.” he runs to grab one the books they use for their D&D games “The Vale of Shadows is a dimension that is a dark reflection or echo of our world. It is a place of decay and death. A place out of phase. A place of monsters. It is right next to you, and you don’t even see it.” he read the text.

“An alternate dimension.” Mike said.

“But- how- how do we get there?” Luca’s voice expressed the concern all of you had.

“We cast Shadow Walk.” you rolled your eyes at your brother.

“In real like, dummy.” Lucas told him.

“We can’t cast Shadow Walk, but… maybe she can.” He turned to look at Eleven, the rest of you doing the same.

“Do you know how we get there? To the Upside Down?” Mike asked, full of hope that we finally have a new lead. Unfortunately, all of you let your eyes fall to the ground when the young girl shakes her head ‘no’.

You saw the boys look at each other hopeless and you debated whether you should inform them about your information. You promised Nancy, you wouldn’t tell them anything, but they were the only people right now who knew as much as you. They also had the benefit of a girl with superhuman powers. You had to let them know how dangerous Hawkins has become, that your speculations about the Demogorgon were true.

“Not to make you more concerned, but… we are not the only ones that know about this.” their eyes widened as they turned to stare at you.

“What?” Mike asked.

“I was with Nancy and Jonathan today. Your sister had a picture of Barbara the night before she disappeared. Jonathan had taken it. When he did, he also captured something behind her. The thing that took her. The… ‘Demogorgon’.” you placed the piece on top of the black board.

“My sister knows?” the boy said in surprise.

“Wait. You have the Demogorgon on a photo?” your brother stepped in, focusing on another detail.

“Yes, she does, and no, I don’t, Nancy has it.” you explained.

“So… Barbara is gone too?” Mike’s face had softened, thinking of his sister’s friend. Another person to worry about, he thought.

“Yeah… I’m guessing after what we found out, she’s in the Upside Down as well.” at least, you hope.

“Did you tell them about…” Lucas pointed to the shaved girl behind them.

“I didn’t tell them anything. They believe they are the first ones to know about all of this.”

“Are you going to?” Mike questioned you.

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” this troubled you. You’ve been thinking about all the possible outcomes repeatedly and, still, aren’t sure what the best one is. “I don’t want them to be in danger. But maybe there is no other way.”

“If there is something out there, then we need all the help we can get.” Dustin said, being your voice of reason for once. He was right. There is nothing you could do alone with 3 kids. The only one who could be useful against this threat is Eleven, but she was a kid herself.

“What if they take Eleven away?” Mike was full of concern and everyone in the room could see it.

“I’ll make sure they don’t. I promise.” you didn’t want anything bad happening to Eleven and you would do anything so she could stay safe until you could trust someone with her wellbeing, away from the ‘bad men’. Still, Mike didn’t relax with your promise “Look, I’m just going to search the creature with them tomorrow and I’ll make up my mind then.”

“You’re going after the Demogorgon?” Dustin gasped out loud.

“We’re coming too.” Mike announced like it was an invitation.

“What?” Lucas had the same expression as you.

“No! No way. I only told you about this so you could be careful. No going into the woods by yourselves anymore. No crazy plans without consulting me first, okay? None of that. Tomorrow, you go to the funeral and then home. Nothing more nothing less.” you pointed you finger at all of them, making your words very clear “We can’t risk anyone else getting lost, okay? We need all the help we can get.” your eyes drifted to Dustin, remembering his words.

He knew what you meant. You were going to tell Nancy and Jonathan all about what you have been doing. Everything about Will, about the monster, the different dimension, and the girl. And he hoped they wouldn’t screw it up.

___

The funeral was… interesting.

It’s weird being there when you know the body inside the casket, isn’t the real one. That the person being grieved by so many, is still fighting for his life in an alternate dimension.

The kids were talking the entire time and you kept nudging Dustin to stop it so you wouldn’t stand out looking disrespectful.

When it ended, you told the kids to go to the wake, while you stayed behind with Jonathan and Nancy. You both watched Jonathan pull out a map with marks on it as you sat on the ground, graves hiding you from the people “This is where we know for sure it’s been, right?”

“So, that’s…” Nancy tried to focus on the different locations.

“Steve’s house.” he started pointing at the red x’s on the map “And that’s the woods where they found Will’s bike and that’s my house and here’s-”

“Where I almost saw it.” you remember the stiffness of your body when you sensed something was nearby.

“It’s all so close…” Nancy thought out loud.

“Yeah. Exactly. I mean, it’s all within a mile or something. Whatever this thing is, it’s… not travelling far.” Jonathan was holding back, but you both knew where he was going.

“You want to go out there.” the girl next to you said.

“What else are we supposed to do?” you questioned, wondering if this wasn’t the plan all along.

“We might not even find anything.” Jonathan tried to reassure her, but he had this look in his eyes. He wanted to take action.

“I found something. Y/n did when she wasn’t even looking. If we do see it… then what?” Nancy was concerned. You never saw her like this. It was now you figured where Mike got his nerves from.

“We kill it.” Jonathan was determined. He stood up and headed to his dad's car.

“What are you doing?” Nancy asked, looking around to make sure no one was watching the three of you.

“Just give me a second.” he told you. You leaned into the window watching Jonathan take out a gun from the glove compartment.

“Your dad has a gun?” you half whispered half yelled.

“Are you serious?” Nancy asked after hearing your words.

“What? You want to find this thing and take another photo? Yell at it?” Jonathan finally got out of the car, hiding the gun inside his jacket suit.

“This is a terrible idea.” you turned to look at Nancy’s worried face.

“We need to stop it. That thing has already taken Will, Barbara, and who knows who else… We have to make sure no one else gets hurt. Not another person we care about.” you were worried as well, but you knew if you didn’t act soon, even worse things were going to happen.

“Maybe we should…” you could tell Nancy was trying to reason with you two.

“What? You can tell someone, but they’re not gonna believe you. You know that.” Jonathan stopped Nancy’s words.

“Your mom would.”

“She’s been through enough.” your friend diminished her idea.

“She deserves to know.” your eyes fell to the ground at her words.

“Yeah, and I’ll tell her… when this thing is dead.”

You heard Nancy sigh, watched her as she thought before, finally, caving in “Okay, so, what do we do?”

“We meet back here in an hour.” he points at the map. You leaned over to get a good look “Get everything you can to protect yourselves.”

So that’s what you did. With everyone back at the wake, you had no one asking you questions about what you were preparing for around the house. You got rid of the black dress you had worn to the funeral and instead put on something more appropriate for… monster hunting. You grabbed a backpack and filled it an emergency kit, an army knife, and a water bottle. By the time you got everything, you still got forty minutes to spare, but you couldn’t sit down and wait, your nerves had your body in alert, so you decided to ride to the diner.

Walking inside you realized it was a slow day today. You figured everyone was at the wake, still a few of the regulars were eating or drinking their troubles away. As you scanned the area you noticed a couple that has never been in this diner before, and you dreaded your luck for stumbling in to them today.

Carol’s eyes rolled the moment she saw you and you did the same. You decided to utterly ignore them and sat at one of the stools in front of the counter, the farthest one from her and Tommy.

“I didn’t know you worked today.” Donna’s voice brought you back to reality. She looked tired today. Her curly dark hair was sticking out of her poorly made bun and the look in her eyes told you that she didn’t get any sleep yesterday. Probably her baby didn’t sleep that much either, keeping her up in the process. Still, she had her big smile on display, ready to face every obstacle in her way.

“I’m not, sorry. Just here for a coffee, won’t put you into too much trouble.”

“Oh, honey, you never do.” she filled a cup with the dark liquid and handed it to you “Did you go to the funeral?”

“Oh, yes. Yeah, I did. It was a great ceremony, but I left early. I couldn’t- you know.” you didn’t exactly know how to answer her question, given the fact that the funeral wasn’t real. So, you just played the card of being overly sad.

“Of course. Would you like some pie? Get your mind off things?” she suggested but you declined.

“No thank you, I can’t stay long. I have a brother to take care of.” technically you weren’t lying.

You continued chatting with Donna, when ten minutes later the door opened. Without thinking, you turned to look at the person who came in. Steve Harrington was standing at the entrance of the diner, looking around until he spotted his little group. You quickly turn your head, cursing your luck once again.

“What is up with that boy? You look flustered.” Donna joked when she saw how you reacted to the tall boy that entered the diner.

“Uh, no, I look annoyed. I really don’t like him.” you explained with a dreadful look on your face thinking about what she implied.

“Well, if there is nothing going on, could you be a dear and go these to his table?” you gave her an annoyed stare, but you could tell she didn’t have her usual strength today. With an exaggerated sigh you got up from your seat “Thank you. The salad is for the girl.”

“Of course, it is.” you took the two plates in your hands and slowly walked towards the trio. You handed the cheeseburger to Tommy and the salad to Carol with a loud thud. You wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, but she couldn’t not make a comment.

“You know, it doesn't surprise me that you would work here. It’s very depressing, like you.” she had this dumb smile on her face, acting like the queen of Hawkins.

You gave her a fake smile before returning the comment yourself “How’s that frostbite of yours? I really hope the pudding helped you get better.” you didn’t want to deal with her, so you just turned to Steve to take his order, knowing Donna would appreciate it “What would you like?”

“Um, just coffee, thanks.” you nodded, but before you could leave his voice stopped you “Did you see Nancy today?” you gave him a confused look “I mean, you- you did go to the funeral today, right?”

“Yeah. And yes, I saw her.” you sighed, wishing you weren’t having this conversation. You couldn’t shake out the image of him destroying Jonathan’s camera, that he worked so hard for.

“Do you think she’s upset about… yesterday? She kinda blew me off when I asked her to hang out today.” you seriously couldn’t believe he was concerned about that. He doesn’t know the real reason Nancy couldn’t go out with him, but still. Who asks someone out after they’ve gone to a funeral?

“Wow, I don’t know. Don’t you think that she could be grieving?” you said sarcastically and walked away giving your order to Donna. While you waited, you were still able to listen to them talk, or to be more precise, gossip.

“Bitch.” Carol’s insults amused you each and every time.

“How come you didn’t go with her?” Tommy’s words weren’t very clear, probably cause he was stuffing his face with his food.

“Where? To the funeral?” Steve spoke and after a small pause continued “I didn’t think Nancy would want me there after what happened. That’s why I went to console her later. But I guess she’s still mad.” Steve’s voice had lowered, you could tell he was concerned.

“Why would she be mad at you? You did the right thing by standing up for her.” Carol’s voice filled you with rage even if you found some kind of sense in her words.

“God, I still can’t believe what a creep he was. I mean who does that?” Tommy asked, still slurring his words.

“People who are sick in the head, obviously. I mean can you imagine what she has done.” you could tell she was referring to you by how her voice lowered. However, it didn’t stop you from hearing their conversation clearly.

“What does Y/n have to do with any of this? She looked just as shocked as the rest of us, guys.” Steve tried to reason with his friend as he noticed, from the corner of his eyes, how your body had tensed up.

“She hangs out with him, Steve. What more proof do you need that she’s coo coo too? Probably enjoyed the photos as much as him later.” you started shaking your leg up and down, trying to calm down your nerves. Do people really think so lowly of you. Do they hate you so much?

“You know they say the mom is nuts too?” Tommy’s voice entered the conversation again.

“The freak’s mom? Not surprised.” Carol said unbothered.

“What she do?” the other boy asked curiously.

“People caught her and the freak fighting whether the kid’s body is real or not. She pulled the same move at the police station. Kept yelling that ‘it isn’t him’ or something. She’s lost her mind.” you took a deep breath after hearing his words. Poor Joyce. If only everyone knew what she was going through. They have no right to characterize her like that.

“Maybe it’s generic. The apple doesn’t fall far away from the tree you know. I’m just actually glad the child is gone and doesn’t have to turn out like them.” that was the final straw for you. You forgot all about the coffee order, just grabbed your bag and left the diner, annoyed tears making their way down your cheeks. You turned left and stopped at the alleyway near the diner to calm yourself down before you had to go and find Nancy and Jonathan.

Steve had a clear shot on you walking out. He also noticed the tears that had formed on your eyes. He knew you didn’t exactly like him, he also wasn’t that nice to you in the past either, but Nancy had helped be more vulnerable with others. Help them as she has helped him. It’s one of the reasons he cares about her so much.

So, he decided to make an excuse to the couple in front of him and try to catch up with you. He looked left and right, trying to get a glimpse of your figure, when he noticed you hunched over with your hands on your face, your shoulders shaking.

“Y/n?” he slowly approached.

You were startled by his voice. You didn’t expect anyone coming after you, even so Steve being the one searching for you. You didn’t know what to say, so you just stayed silent after you stood up and faced the opposite direction.

“Look, um… I’m sorry about what the guys said. They really didn’t mean-“ you really weren’t gonna put up with his bullshit too.

“Oh, I’m sure they did. I’m sure they meant every word that came out of their mouths and I’m sure you’ve thought about those things too.” Your mind recalled every single time Steve had made you feel bad about yourself. How much his behavior changed in middle school when he realized how well respected his family was in this god-awful town. Everyone could tell he enjoyed the power it gave him, thought it made him look cool when he reminded everyone how much better he was than everyone else. You hated him when you were younger. Every time he would point at you and snicker with his friends you knew he was saying something mean. You also hated the fact that for a period of time you thought he was right, that you were all those things they were calling you. But now you weren’t that scared little girl anymore, you weren’t the new girl in town that everyone was picking on. Now you had the same hatred but were able to make yourself be heard. You were done letting them walk all over you.

“If this is about yesterday, you have to admit-” he tried to make his actions seem more justified, but it was your time to make him feel small.

“No, Harrington. This is about every single time you have looked down on one of us just because we don’t warship the ground you walk on. Just because you have a shitty family, doesn’t mean you can make fun of people who are in pain.” his face was shocked hearing you talk about his family, and you were glad. You had the upper hand and you wanted him to know he wasn’t the only one who could criticize another person “Oh yeah, you thought I didn’t know? My mother works long hours to take care of us, but one of her advantages is that costumers on her job talk… a lot. Your mother has been very chatty lately, going on and on about her cheating husband and screw up son, who apparently can’t do anything on his own. So don’t come acting as if you care when all you have ever done was make fun me.”

Steve didn’t think anyone knew about his shitty family other than his friends and it shocked him hearing these words come out of your mouth. He knows everything you’ve said is true, but he can’t just sit back and let him family take that kind of slander.

“You have no right to talk about my family.” he pointed his finger at you, maybe trying to intimidate you, but you just ignored it, pointing your own at him now.

“And you have no right to call a family nuts and delusional and, especially, make fun of a dead child.” Will wasn’t dead but he didn’t know that. You wanted him to feel like he was the villain in this whole thing.

“I never-” you didn’t let him finish his sentence.

“Go and tell your friends to stop bothering us.” you bumped your shoulder at his body, starting to walk away but stopped for a moment and looked at him “And stop pretending to be this helpless little boy, Harrington. Grow up.” with that as your final words, you made your exit.

___

When you arrived at the meeting place, Nancy and Jonathan were already there. It looked like they were practicing shooting. You were pretty shocked to see how good Nancy was at it. After you repeated the plan, you began walking into the dark forest. You knew you had to search fast since you lost daylight earlier than usual, wintertime finally arriving at your town.

You didn’t talk much. Jonathan was at the front leading, Nancy was in the middle and you were taking care of the back. The silence gave you the space you wanted to go over everything that happened today. You were glad you said everything you’ve been meaning to say to Steve, but you still felt angry at the nerve he had to come after you and taunt you even more. You also had to figure out a way to tell them everything you know about the Upside Down, everything was just a mess inside your mind. That was until Nancy spoke up.

“You never said what I was saying.” her voice echoed through the woods, clearly addressing Jonathan as she walked closer to him.

“What?” he questioned.

“Yesterday. You said I was saying something and that’s why you took my picture.” she tried to refresh his memory. You guessed they had a conversation about why he felt the need to capture such a private moment. You have been wondering the same thing, so you took a few steps towards them.

“Oh, uh… I don’t know. My guess… I saw this girl, you know, trying to be someone else. But for that moment it was like you were alone or you thought you were. And, you know, you could just be yourself.” the boy explained.

“That is such bullshit.” Nancy said and stopped in her tracks, making you almost fall into her.

“What?” Jonathan stopped as well.

“I am not trying to be someone else. Just because I’m dating Steve and you don’t like him-” she tried to defend herself.

“You know what? Forget it. I just thought it was a good picture.” your friend began walking again, away from the two of you.

“He’s actually a good guy.” Nancy continued and you couldn’t help yourself but scoff at her statement. She gave you a confused look, urging you to talk about what was on your mind.

“You don’t want me talking about your boyfriend right now, trust me.” you gave her a half smile and followed Jonathan, your hands grabbing the handlers of your backpack.

“Yesterday, with the camera… he’s not like that at all. He was just being protective.” you could tell Nancy was getting defensive. She caught up with the two of you and you turned to take a look on her face before continuing on.

“Yeah, that’s one word for it.” Jonathan snarked.

“Oh, and I guess what you did was, okay?” the girl gave Jonathan an angry look.

“No, I… I never said that.” he replied.

“He had every right to be pissed-”

“Guess he had every right to humiliate us as well.” you stepped in, sarcasm filling your words.

“He didn’t-” Nancy looked taken back by your statement for a moment before she spoke.

“Look, Nance, I know you are probably still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, and you only see the good stuff, but your little boyfriend hasn’t been that nice to us in all the years I’ve known him, so don’t go around acting like he’s an angel sent from above.” you tried to remain calm, you didn’t want another fight to occur.

“Did something happen?” Nancy asked, looking a little worried.

“Yes, a lot of things happened today, and I don’t need you trying to convince us how great he is. I don’t think he’s a good person, okay? We don’t have to like the same people, you know.” you said, hoping she would drop everything, and you could just continue walking in silence searching for a deadly monster.

“Don’t take it personally, okay? We don’t like most people. He’s in the vast majority.” Jonathan said, wanting to come off as nice as he could, but Nancy didn’t see it like that.

“You know I tried not to believe what everyone else was saying about you two, but I guess they were more correct than I thought. ‘The creep and the weirdo’.” Her words made your legs stop, your body filling with betrayal.

“Nancy...” Jonathan said slowly, warning her.

“Maybe you were more involved in this whole thing than you want me to believe.” her words were now directed towards you, and you knew what she was talking about. No, she hadn’t figured out about your position with the search, how you knew more than the other two of the group about the monster and Will, she was talking about your promise to her that you had no idea Jonathan had taken those pictures.

“You know that I would never do something like that to you.” you always thought you were a good friend, at least to those who deserved it. Sure, you weren’t the kind of person to not call out someone for their bullshit, but you were also gonna be there for them, help them recover and get better.

“They why are you in his side? He was the creep.” she pointed to your friend, but before you could get a word out, he had stepped in between you two.

“Okay! I did a bad thing, but there is no reason to take it out on her. I was alone that night. You don’t have to be so naïve and believe everything you hear.” Jonathan took you by the arm and started moving again.

“I can’t believe I was actually starting to think you were okay.” Nancy had begun walking again, keeping her distance from you two.

“Yeah? I was thinking the same thing.” Jonathan responded.

“Oh.” Nancy scoffed as they both turned to look at each other, stopping their walk.

“I was thinking, “Nancy Wheeler, she’s not just another suburban girl who thinks she’s rebelling by doing exactly what every other suburban girl does. Until that phase passes and they marry some boring one-time jock who now works sales, and they lice out a perfectly boring little life at the end of a cul-de-sac. Exactly like their parents, who they thought were so depressing, but now, hey, they get it.” the girl’s eyes wanted to show anger, act as if she didn’t care, but you knew Nancy well enough to know he got to her. You knew all of you had a lot on your heads, but you couldn’t deal with anything else or more, so you just kept on walking, Jonathan at some point catching up to you.

You walked in silence for a couple of minutes, enjoying the stillness of the air around you.

“Are you okay?” you asked him, giving him a side glance.

“Maybe. You think I went too far?” he asked back.

“Honestly I’m not one to talk, I’ve said some bad stuff as well.” you gave him a small smile telling him it was okay.

“Did something really happen earlier?” he questioned after a minute, remembering your words to Nancy.

“I’m really just picking fights today.” you sighed and after seeing his look you knew he wanted you to keep talking “Steve, Tommy, and Carol came into the diner today and they were saying the most awful things about your family. I left the place in tears and Steve decided to follow me, so I just snapped and said some awful things back.” you skipped over the things they said about you, it didn’t really concern him.

“You know I don’t care about them or their words.” he told you.

“But I do. I can’t keep running away, Jonathan. I won’t be that person anymore.” you promised yourself you were going to stand up more about yourself and the people you loved, and you were going to keep that promise until the day you died.

___

The day had turned into a lightless night, not even the moon’s light was able to guide you through this forest. Since the fight none of you really said anything else, just keeping it quiet. You were still up front with Jonathan and Nancy was behind you, now close behind, afraid to not lose you to the darkness.

Your mind wandered off to the kids. You had decided to not take the walkie with you, telling yourself that if Dustin called you and the monster was near, it wouldn’t be good for your cover. Also, you told them not to do anything without you, so as far as you know they are all safe in their homes.

All of a sudden, you noticed a pair of feet had stopped walking. You turned and saw Nancy with her scrunched down eyebrows trying to focus on something.

“What are you tired?” Jonathan said sarcastically, clearly, he hasn’t calmed down from the fight.

“Shut up.” Nancy said back, quickly.

��What?”

“I heard something.” you stayed silent, all three of you, searching for the sound Nancy was talking about, when you heard it.

“From there.” you pointed to the direction of the sound with your flashlight. The whimper was becoming clearer and clearer as you followed it. You all feared you’d come across something monstrous, but you soon found out it was just a wounded deer. A gasp left your lips once you saw it in its state.

“Oh, God…” Nancy said as you all kneeled before it, taking a good look “It’s been hit by a car.” she softly petted the animal “We can’t just leave it.” there was a moment of hesitation in her movement as she prepared to gather on her courage and aim her gun at the poor animal. Just as she was about to do it, Jonathan stopped her.

“I’ll do it.”

“I thought you said-”

“I’m not nine anymore.” you looked at them as Jonathan grabbed the gun from Nancy’s hands and you wondered what kind of secrets were shared between them.

You all stood up, preparing for the gunshot, when the deer was snatched from beneath you.

“What the fuck?” you took a couple steps back in surprise.

“What was that?” Nancy questioned as you began following the trail of blood it left behind “Where’d it go?”

“I don’t know. Do you see any more blood?” Jonathan asked.

“No.” the other girl answered.

You continued looking for the trail with your flashlight but to no avail. However, when you looked up you didn’t see anything else other than branches and trees. You had walked further away that you had thought and were now separated from your trio. You took a deep breath, suppressing your panic as you started looking for some clue as to where they were. When suddenly you heard someone scream out your name.

“Nancy?” you called back and were finally able to spot someone else, though it wasn’t the girl who was yelling for you.

“Jonathan? Where’s Nancy?” you jogged up to him, cold sweat filling your body from fear and adrenaline. He was carrying her bat.

“I- I don’t know! She just disappeared.” she screamed out again “Nancy? Nancy! Follow my voice!”

You kept on calling and screaming out her name, searching with your lights to find her. Your gaze fell upon a tree that was covered in slimy stuff and something told you that was what you’ve been searching for. You pointed it out to your friend and run to take a better look, when a hand came through the trunk, scaring you both.

“Y/n! Jonathan!” her voice was coming from deep inside the trunk.

“Nancy? It’s Nancy!” you called out and dropped everything from your hands to go and help her. You grabbed her hand and with Jonathan’s, you two were able to pull her out.

She was covered in that slime and her shoulders were shaking from sobbing when her body fell into yours, hugging you tightly. Her force almost made you fall back, but Jonathan’s hands steadied you “Hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re okay.” you tried to reassure her, but something caught your attention. The gate from where she had appeared, closed before your eyes. You glanced up at Jonathan just to make sure you didn’t imagine it, but the expression on his face told you it was real. And you were certain it had everything to do with the Upside Down.

___

After the original shock of the situation, you all had a silent agreement that the night was over, the searching had to wait, and it was time to head back home. None of you talked while you were cautiously walking through the woods again, the only human sound were the occasional sniffles coming from Nancy who was still clinging onto you, fearing you’d leave her if she didn’t keep you near.

Despite everything that had happened earlier you weren’t gonna make her feel anything else other than safe. You couldn’t imagine what she had seen down there.

You all got inside Jonathan’s car. Both you and Nancy sat on the backseats, your hands clasped as you remained silent. That ended when Jonathan stopped outside of your house.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” you asked her one more time.

“Yes, I’ll be okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” she gave you a weak smile and you responded with a final squeeze of her hand. You told them both goodnight, but she grabbed your hand before you could open the door “About what I said earlier to you and you, Jonathan, just know-”

“I didn’t believe a word you said.” you reassured her. You forgot all about your fight the moment you heard her scream out your name. You were just glad she was there with you and not still trapped in the Upside Down “Now, get some rest. Goodnight.”

Walking into your house was tricky. It was pretty late at night, and you decided to keep the lights off until you reached your room. Your mother and brother were asleep. You debated whether or not you should knock on Dustin’s door and tell him everything that had happened but decided it would be best to let him have a good sleep for once after everything that has happened. Who could have told you that the party and him completely ignore your words, went into the forest, fought with each other and lost the one person you were all trying to keep hidden and safe.

~~~

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stydiaandthejeep · 2 years ago

Text

Eleven steps out of the cabin at night, unable to sleep after everything that happened. Mike comes to check on her and they finally, finally get a moment alone.

A mileven one shot that follows the events of the season finale

Eleven was still buzzing with the adrenaline of the day. After staying up until midnight, crowding in with everybody on the floor of the small cabin, Joyce had made the executive decision of sending all the teenagers to sleep, with the promise that they would get back to coming up with a plan first thing in the morning.

Hopper fell asleep on the blankets that Joyce had laid on the floor for him, and was now snoring loudly,just like El remembered from their days there. She watched him silently for a few moments, trying to convince herself that he was right there, safe and sound. The rest of the party had gone home to reassure their parents and get some rest, but she couldn't fall asleep, no matter how hard she tried. It was all too fresh, too present in her mind: Max lying down in a hospital bed unresponsive, the deep despair she had felt confronting Vecna, seeing Papa bleed out in the desert.

She stepped out in the cold night air, trying to seek comfort from the familiar sounds and smells. One of Hopper's old hoddies was wrapped around her, and she had made the porch light turn on with a faint smile, relishing the return of her powers. Among everything that happened, she hadn't had a moment alone with Mike. They had been quiet the whole ride over, the shock of the battle leaving her speechless. Mike had given her space and only adressed her to ask of she was hungry or tired, and although unable to speak, she had tried to convey with her eyes how much what he had said meant to her. All she could read in his eyes was sickening worry, for her and his friends,his family.

Just then she heard the sound of steps coming from the trail, and a faint voice calling out. 'El? Is that you?'

She could make out Mike's silhouette even before he stepped into the light before her. She smiled, not even questioning why he wasn't home, or how worried his mom would be if she found out.

He looked pale and worried, and his voice was raspier than usual. ' I'm sorry if you still needed your space, I just.. I couldn't sleep, and I wanted to check and make sure you were okay.'

There was a nervous energy in the lines of his body, and El knew he had wanted to see her alone just as much as she did. When she spoke up her voice was quieter than usual, almost foreign to her. She felt in control of her powers, yet acting like a normal human was an effort. ' No space. Come sit with me.'

Mike breathed out a sigh of relief and sat down on the step, a respectable distance between them. She had raised her eyebrows in confusion and scooted over until they were pressed next to each other in the chilly air. Mike let out a small chuckle and then shyly wrapped his left arm around her waist, the way he did sometimes when they were hanging out in the mall food court. Eleven felt her whole body relax at the contact - tears welled up in her eyes, this time not for Max or for her dad. It had just hit her, how badly she had missed Mike.

'Missed.You.'

She hated how her power draining had made her speech regress to what it used to be before she met the party. Mike didn't question it, instead nodding and pulling her even closer.

' I missed you too. Well, I guess my speech back at the pizza shop made that quite obvious.' Even in the dim light, the girl could see how Mike's cheeks has turned a lovely shade of pink. Continuing to avoid eye contact, Mike grabbed her other hand and interlocked it with his. ' In case it wasn't obvious how in love I am with you, now I won't ever hear the end of it from the other guys.'

Eleven laughed, letting her heart swell with joy for just a few seconds, taking it in that someone loved her for who she was. She suddenly remembered how short her hair was now and what she was wearing, and she ran her fingers through it, as if that would make it magically grow back. Mike noticed the gesture and turned slightly to look at her.

' Don't worry about that, El. It will grow back. And you're still pretty regardless of it. Always."

Their voices had grown to whispers, and Eleven leaned her forehead into his shoulder as a thank you. Mike cleared his throat and took advantage of her breaking eye contact.

' I thought you weren't waking up, El. For a few, terrifying moments, my heart stopped in place and you weren't opening your eyes or breathing or twitching anymore. There was nothing but silence and the sound of Will crying and all I could think was that I had really lost you this time. You weren't taken away from me, or moving to another state. For a moment in time you were simply gone and I thought I was going to lose my mind.'

Eleven looked up, and she was met by Mike's dark eyes filled with tears. She hated seeing him cry. All she wanted was for them to be a normal teenage couple, sneaking kisses in the movie theater. She was tired of everything ripping them from one another, of having to fight for every single moment of happiness. She wiped his cheeks with the sleeve of her hoodie and he tried to smile, trying not to worry her. She remembered how his words had pulled her back from One. How she hadn't realised that in every other way that counted, Mike had been saying he loved her ever since that day in the woods.

' I'm here. Not going anywhere. And..'

She mustered up all her energy into her word, trying to sound coherent.

' I could never not want you. I'm sorry if I made you get those feelings.'

The energy was worth the grin that had spread on his face, a tinge of relief in it. Softly, he brought up his hand to gently cup her jaw. She let herself imagine they really were just a couple of teenagers, sneaking out at night to get a moment alone. An intense feeling rushed through her whenever Mike looked at her like he did then, with darkened eyes and complete focus ( Max once told her those were called 'butterflies').

'Can I kiss you, El?'

The next moment there was a loud snore that broke through the silence from the cabin, which made Eleven giggle and made Mike look completely terrified. She winked at him playfully and the next moment the porch light went out,along with any other lights around,leaving them in complete darkness. Even so, El could see how completely amazed Mike looked, laughing silently in disbelief.

She felt his lips gently pressing on hers, so she brought up her hands to tangle themselves in Mike's hair. They were soft at first, but Eleven could feel their shared desperation to get closer pour into their kiss, and she tried her best to convey all her feelings within it. Time bent and snapped into place, and all she could feel and focus for a few wonderful moments was Mike, his lips moving against hers,his scent, the feel of his hand on her jaw. She tugged at his hair while carried away and she felt him groan into her mouth, and so she pulled back immediately.

' Sorry. I hurt you?' Her question was genuine and applogetic, but she could sense Mike smiling, amused.

'No,no. That wasn't a bad, um, sound.'

She was pretty sure this was somehow related to some really awkward talks she had with Nancy a while ago, yet she wanted to make sure she hadn't hurt Mike.

' Not.. bad?'

She turned her head slightly and turned on the porch light again, this time dimmer, eager to see his face. She thought she had gotten pretty good at kissing,but maybe she was wrong

Instead , she found Mike looking flustered again, which made her smile.

' No, I mean, yes usually those kind of sounds associated with hair pulling means bad, but. In contexts like making out they're usually a positive sign that the other persob is enjoying it and um. I'm just gonna shut up now."

Eleven threw her head back laughing like a little kid, having missed how Mike blushed and rambled whenever he got embarrassed. She used to secretly ask certain things on purpose, just because she thought he looked unbelievably cute when he got like that.

' Well, Im glad you find my awkwardness amusing.' He commented under his breath, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

' I should probably go, my mom will get worried. See you tomorrow?'

Eleven got up and walked with him a few steps to his bike. 'Yes, tomorrow.' was all she could reply, choosing instead to wrap her hands around Mike's torso, noting how much taller he was than her. She gathered her in his arms and peppered her face with kisses before reluctantly letting go. 'Bye, El.'

Eleven let out a big sigh after she watched him pedal away. She refused to let her mind wander and instead laid down on her bed, falling asleep with nothing else in her head except the image of the two of them kissing in the complete darkness of the night.

#mileven fanfiction #mileven #stranger things #mileven au #mike stranger things #eleven #basically this ships makes me want to sob #i wanted them to finally get a moment away from everyone else after Mike's speech #my first mileven wip #mileven wip #mike x eleven

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strangerfigs · 2 years ago

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young will byers imagining the rest of his life with mike wheeler in a non-romantic way and those feelings becoming romantic over time but pretending they are not because he knows it will never happen. will byers moving away and struggling so immensely without mike that he feels like he is drowning and seeing the letters fly in, addressed to el, and too hurt, too petty to reach out to mike; too afraid of rejection even in the form of friendship from last summer. every letter seeming as though mike doesn’t care. not thinking of reaching out himself because he is too hurt and sad to do so; cannot have him at the small intervals because it hurts too much to hold onto but thinking of him every day.

realizing that he is visiting soon; that maybe they can go back to what was once there between them; that they can just go back to the way it was. so he starts to paint because he needs to show how much he missed him even though he didn’t reach out.

mike coming to the airport and reacting coolly; apparent that things have changed; mikes moved on and he hasn’t. mike ignoring him. being a third wheel; it’s obvious that mike is here for el and he just so happens to be there; is just a consolation prize. mike noticing his behavior; calling him a jerk. will seeing through it because most of the time mike is easy to read. mike being a jerk again, showing that he has no grief for a lost friendship. does he? back to el.

mike coming in his room; he has passed it. he has moved on from the fight because there are more important things at stake now. they should be worrying about el. mike starting. will accepting but still unconvinced until mike starts talking about hawkins. about their other friends. about how it’s been weird. this last years been weird. they’re … they’re great. but it’s not the same without you. and every word resonates. because that’s what it’s been like for him too. he reads between the lines and hears what mike is saying, and everything that mike has been feeling? is a mirror image to what he has been feeling too, at least in regards to their friendship (romance is so off the table; it’s not even on his mind that that is where his feelings come from) so he grabs the painting, sure he will give it to him at some point because maybe mike needs to see it; just as much as he needed to paint it — why am I the bad guy? why is this on me? — maybe mike felt just as lost without him as he did without mike

the van — how much mike is hurting. what he needs; what is best. how insecure he is; how much he hates to see him hurt: how his entire soul wishes to see mike believe in himself and see himself as essential and needed. how he knows how eleven feels, how he has felt they have always had a kindred understanding, so what if he exchanges a few pronouns? mike needs this; their friendship is fine, it’s okay; it’s healed, it seems, and what really needs healing is mikes relationship with el. so he lies, and he tells the truth, and he unexpectedly cries because he flew too close to the sun, and he got burnt, so so bad because all these feelings rush out, even if they are not supposed to be his own. and mike means so much to him; makes him feel like he is not a mistake, gives him the courage to keep going and he just wants to give that to mike too, but he knows what mike needs is this; affirmations about el. so he focuses on her, he replaces her with (i) and white lies turn red and the desert blurs, along with every rule he has ever followed in regards to lying to mike.

and then mike is relaying the words to el, in response to what will said in the van, and it hurts. it does feel like a bandaid being ripped off because this is it, isn’t it? but it doesn’t hurt any less. but he can’t help but to read between the lines again, wondering the sincerity when he just spoke those lines previously. hasn’t mike always been better with articulation? didn’t he know words while wills knew colors?

it doesn’t matter though because this is not the moment to think on it; to wonder the authenticity because el is on the table; burning and wincing, unreachable, and even when mike says: i feel like my life started the day i found you in the woods, he doesn’t flinch because it doesn’t matter; his feelings don’t matter here. and even if they did. he cannot imagine a life before el or without either. she is his sister; his family; fabric of his life that feels should always exist; so he thinks he understands that.

he pushed mike for a reason; he knew he would be the one to reach her; he needed him to reach her. not only for their friends but for el. and whatever he needs to say to do that, he stands behind because there is no room for hurt feelings at the brink of death and destruction. what’s said during battle cannot be held against you. in the same way that he and mike never once discussed what mike said to him in the shed: (that was the best thing i’ve ever done)

but his heart has never known the rules so those words still carved into his bones; flooded his veins; ripped into his heart until there was nothing left but dust on the nights where mike felt so far away that if he called, he wouldn’t hear him; unlike before when he always came running. but he thinks that maybe if he called him now, he would be there. maybe just a little late but not too late.

#byler #stranger things #will byers #writing #anaylis?#idk #sometimes I just start and can’t stop and it becomes something

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stranger-marauders · 2 years ago

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fractured

twelve: hawkins lab

chapter summary: The next morning brings a more pressing situation than Hopper's disappearance. Steve and Dustin set out to find Dart.

chapter warnings: language, past parental issues

word count: 3.4k

series masterlist | masterlist

KATE, BOB, AND Mike only watched Will in silence as he finally slept in peace. Even though the sun had risen, not a single one of them, except for Will, of course, had slept.

Joyce had left the three of them to watch over Will while she sat in a meeting with a few of the doctors. She hadn't wanted to leave him alone for too long, but the doctors insisted that they have the conversation in one of the conference rooms, away from Will. Since then, Kate, Bob, and Mike had been left to their own devices.

Kate had still yet to see her father. She didn't know where he had been shuffled off to, but she knew his SUV was still sitting outside, still parked as shittily as it had been the night before. She couldn't understand why she hadn't been able to see him yet. The doctors hadn't given her a solid reason, something about possible infection, something about needing to go through decontamination. She didn't care: she wanted to see her dad.

She eventually looked to Mike, who seemed physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. She couldn't remember a time when she'd seen Mike so… empty. She thought it had been that night at the hospital after Eleven had supposedly died so all of this would be over. Now that it had come back, though, and his very best friend was absolutely suffering, Mike was rightfully more than broken up about it. "Hey, bud, how're you holding up?"

He nodded sluggishly in response. "I'm okay."

She pressed her lips together, her eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah?"

"As okay as I can be, I guess," Mike said somewhat sadly.

She frowned slightly, scooting closer to him. "I know this isn't exactly the best time, but I… I've been meaning to check up on you guys. I was going to on Halloween, but…" She trailed off. She and Jonathan had gone to that Halloween party at Tina's instead. "I don't know, I just worry about you guys sometimes. Like, have you been… doing okay? I mean, before this week, anyway?"

"I guess," Mike answered, his face laced with confusion. "Why?"

"Because I care about you," she said softly, playing with the blue hair tie on her wrist. "I don't know, I just feel like it's… important to check up on you guys every once in a while. Make sure everyone's okay."

While she hadn't been speaking the exact truth about why she was asking about his well-being, she had been completely honest in saying she cared about the Party. She really liked those four boys, even if they were all about four years younger than her. While she hadn't quite understood their Dungeons & Dragons game, she did think it was cool that they loved it so much, and she certainly loved all of their Star Wars and Lord of the Rings references.

Mike shrugged slightly, almost sighing. "I mean, I guess… I don't know, I just miss El. She would've known what to do to help Will."

Kate hated that she couldn't tell Mike about Eleven. She hated that she couldn't tell him that no, she hadn't died, but El was currently living in her and her father's cabin and no one knew she was alive except for the two of them. Mike had taken care of her that first week that Eleven had been outside of the lab, showing her love (and giving her an obsession with Eggos). She hated lying to him, but she knew she had to.

"I don't know, it's stupid."

"Hey, it's not stupid," Kate said softly. "I… I think she would be proud of you, you know? Taking care of Will. Helping me find my dad."

Whenever Mike nodded somewhat solemnly, Kate put her arm around him, letting him use her as a pillow for the time being.

She hated that she had left that night now, the night of the fight. If something had happened to El, had happened to her dad, she wouldn't know what to do with herself. Right now, she felt like if anything happened to either of them, it would absolutely be her fault. Even though she knew it wasn't, that the thought was completely unrealistic, she couldn't help but think it.

The only thing calming her from it now was the thought of Steve, more specifically the previous day that they'd spent together.

The memory that currently replayed in her mind was when she'd been sitting next to his pool in the backyard of his house, just close enough to the edge where she could dip her hand into the water. Steve had still been inside to her knowledge as she dipped her hand in for only a second, barely touching the water before deciding it was much too cold to get in. Even if it was a heated pool, she knew getting out would be absolutely painful. She hadn't yet had the opportunity to get more than a step or two away before Steve had pushed her into the pool, flipping in after her. By the time she'd reemerged, he'd already come back up, flipping the hair out of his face and dying of laughter. Whenever she saw his face, her mouth fell open as he ran his hand through his hair, the other grabbing her arm. "Oh my God, Steve!"

"You fell in!" he said, trying to contain his laughter. "I just saved your life!" Whenever she scoffed, not yet smiling, he started laughing again. "What? I'm not a certified lifeguard for nothing."

"You're such an asshole." She shook her head, trying to stop herself from laughing. She couldn't help but smile as she rolled her eyes: his freaking wheezes. "I hate you."

She smiled again at just the thought of him, everything seeming to calm down for a moment. She wanted, more than anything, to be with him again, to make all of this go away, but it wasn't possible. For now, she had to wait and hope everything would be okay.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Mike. Trust me."

Steve, once again, found himself doing something he never thought he would do, especially with a thirteen-year-old boy he had barely even met yesterday.

As he pulled meat chunks out of the trunk of his car early on a Sunday morning, he didn't know what to think. What worried him more was that he hadn't heard from Kate in a day. Whenever he had gotten home the night before, he'd called her old number once or twice, the same answering machine tone going off ("Hey, you've reached Jim, I'm probably doing something incredible right now—"). He hated that he was so worried about her, partially because he knew that she must've been okay, that or she would be okay. Maybe she had gotten in trouble with her dad after leaving for a couple of days and he'd grounded her, leaving her at home with nothing to do. That would explain how Dustin hadn't been able to get ahold of her, which he'd explained to him that morning. He could only hope that whoever she was that somehow she wasn't wrapped up in all of this, too.

Before he could think about Kate much longer, Dustin's radio sounded. "This is Lucas. Do you copy? Dustin?"

"Well, well, well, look who it is," Dustin said into the radio, leaving Steve to continue pulling the buckets full of meat chunks out of the trunk of his car.

"Sorry, man," Lucas replied. "My stupid sister turned it off."

"Well, while you were having sister problems, Dart grew again, he escaped, and I'm pretty sure he's a baby Demogorgon."

"Wait. What?"

"I'll explain later. Just meet me and Steve at the old junkyard."

"Steve?" Lucas sounded as if he couldn't believe it.

"And bring your binoculars and wrist rocket," Dustin added.

While Dustin had been communicating with Lucas, Steve had finished pulling the supplies they had gathered, including his own backpack, his bat's handle sticking out from the top of it. "All right. Let's go."

"Just be there, stat. Over and out," Dustin said, signing off as he and Steve began their journey to the junkyard.

Kate waited impatientlyfor news about her father.

She still hadn't been able to fall asleep, even if she was absolutely exhausted. She couldn't help but worry about her dad—she hadn't heard any news about him in hours, and she still had yet to see him. She had gladly let Mike use her as a pillow as they both cuddled up in the blankets that a doctor from the lab had given them. Since then, she had only listened in on Joyce and Bob's conversation, playing with the blue hair tie on her wrist.

"They made us sign, like, a thousand documents. I mean, we all had to. We had to," she explained to Bob. Since she'd come back from a meeting with a few of the doctors at the lab, she had been explaining the events of the past year to him. "I mean, I lost track at a certain point. They're gonna make you do the same. I'm sure."

"Yeah. Well, hey, whatever," Bob replied. Joyce only stared at the man, who had since grown slightly worried. "What kind of documents?"

"Uh, confidentiality, and there were these official forms saying, like, nothing ever happened, which is why…"

"Will got lost in the woods," Bob finished.

"Yeah."

He shook his head. "Man, I always thought stuff like this happened in movies and comic books. Certainly not in Hawkins, and certainly not to someone like you."

"Or you."

"Yeah." Bob chuckled softly. "Bob Newby, superhero."

They both stared at each other, slightly shivering. Joyce looked to him. "You cold?"

"Uh, just a little jitters, I guess," Bob replied, smiling as if nothing was wrong. "Hey, don't you start worrying about me."

"Okay," Joyce said softly.

"Okay? I'm fine," he replied. "It's not like you didn't warn me. 'This is not a normal family.' Isn't that what you said?"

She almost smiled,. "Yeah."

Bob chuckled. "You weren't kidding."

She sighed in response.

"It kinda makes my idea of moving to Maine sound a little less crazy, right?"

"Oh, it… it's not crazy at all," she answered.

Kate perked up slightly with that. Maine? She didn't know what she would do with herself if the Byers moved away. While she had come to admire her friendship with Jonathan, she had also come to love his entire family, especially his mother. Joyce had been the mother she'd never had—one that would give her advice on stupid things like boys, and she didn't judge her for anything, and certainly would never leave her behind, not purposely as her own mother had. She couldn't handle them leaving because, while they may not have been "normal," they were much more normal than her own family.

Joyce looked over to Kate, noticing her jerk up slightly. She hadn't even realized she had still been awake. "Kate, you okay?"

She nodded, glancing at the hair tie on her wrist. "Yeah, I'm… I'm just worried about my dad, you know?" She then looked at Bob. "Thanks for helping. I–If it wasn't for you…"

"Of course," he replied simply, giving her a soft smile. "If I would've known what we were looking for…"

Before she could reply, Will softly called, "Mom?"

"Hey," Joyce said, smiling at the boy softly as both adults set down their coffee cups, moving closer to the boy.

Bob ran outside of the room, shouting, "Is there a doctor? We need a doctor!"

"Sweetie, how you feeling? You okay?"

"Okay, they're on their way," Bob said, coming back into the room.

Kate didn't even have to try to wake Mike for him to find that his friend had awoken, too. They both looked over at him, his skin still pale. He still seemed weak, but considering the episode he'd suffered from, Kate considered him lucky to be alive.

"Hey," Bob said, smiling at him.

"Who is that?" Will asked.

"What?"

Bob chuckled. "It's me, big guy. It's Bob." When he went in to touch his arm, Will pulled it away.

"Are you… a doctor?" Will asked.

"No. No, it's just me. Just… Just Bob," he said, still smiling. Kate knew that even if he wasn't showing it, Bob was still absolutely crushed on the inside.

Kate, before too many doctors had flooded into the small room, had finally found her father.

Whenever he had come into the room, seemingly just like any other doctor with the scrubs he was wearing, she immediately engulfed him in a hug, tears breaking n her eyes. "Dad, I–I'm so sorry. I was so worried about you."

After a moment or two, her father pulled away. "Wanna talk outside, kid?"

She nodded, wiping the stray tear from her face. "Y–Yeah."

When they'd moved outside to the hallway, Hopper sighed. "Katie… I'm so sorry for the other night."

"Wait, that's what you want to talk about?" She laughed, trying not to cry. "We almost lost you, and you're apologizing for that?"

"Well, yeah," he replied, shrugging. "Look, kid, I thought about what you said, and… you're right. For the most part, anyway. I'm sorry everything's been so… screwed up between us. After Sara and your mom, I didn't… I never thought about how I made it worse for you after that."

She looked at the hair tie on her wrist. He said her name. "Dad, you didn't—"

"Yeah, I did," he said, sighing. "And don't try to let me off the hook for it, kid, because I don't deserve it. I screwed up, Katie. I wish I could take it all back and that I could've been better for you, but I can't, and I need to stop acting like I can." he sighed again as he watched Kate look at the blue hair tie on her wrist. "I'm just glad you raised yourself good, kid. You're about the only kid I know that isn't stupid, crazy, or annoying." He paused. "I'm sorry for getting so angry with you the other night, I just…" He looked around, lowering his voice. "I need you on my side with her. She's different than you."

Kate stifled a laugh. "Yeah, that's for sure."

"She's way different." He cleared his throat. "Sometimes, I need you to just… go with me. She listens to you much more than she ever does to me. I guess you are better at being a parent."

"That's not true," Kate replied, her eyes still glazed over. "It's just different."

"Yeah, this is my first time having to actually raise a teenager," Hopper replied, chuckling. "You made it so easy for me, and I… She's just different than you, kid." He cleared his throat again. "But I'm sorry. For everything, okay?"

She hesitated at first. "I'm sorry, too."

"Katie, you don't have to be sorry."

"But I am," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I got mad, too, and I shouldn't have left. I should've stayed and worked it out with you guys, not just…" She cut herself off and sighed, looking at the hair tie on her wrist. "Even though you're not saying it, you are doing a good job with her. I know sometimes I make it more difficult, but from now on I got your back. At least, in front of her. Who knows what I'll say to your face when we're alone."

Hopper chuckled. "All right, kid. So we're good?"

She gave him a tight-lipped smile. "Yeah. We're good."

As more doctors flooded Wil's room, Hopper sighed. "Guess we better get back, huh?"

Kate only nodded before the two Hopper walked back inside of the small room. As they entered, it had almost seemed like every doctor at Hawkins Laboratory had gone inside since they'd left just to check Will out.

"Do you know your name?" Dr. Owens, the main doctor of the lab, asked.

"A doctor?" Will replied.

He nodded. "Have we met before?"

"I don't remember," he said softly.

"You don't remember me?" he asked him.

Will only shook his head in response.

"Okay, how about, uh… How about this guy here?" Dr. Owens asked, pointing to Mike. He waved as the doctor continued. "Know who that is?"

Will only stared at the boy in front of him.

"It's all right. Take your time."

"That's… my friend," Will finally replied. "Mike."

"What about that girl, there?" Dr. Owens asked, pointing to Kate.

When she smiled at him softly, he shook his head in response. "No."

"What about me, kid? You remember me?" Hopper asked.

Will stared at the man for a moment before shaking his head slowly again.

"They tell me you helped save me last night. You remember that?" he asked, keeping his voice steady.

He only shook his head slowly once again in response.

Kate sighed softly. The way she saw it, anyone that had met Will before he'd gone missing had been completely erased from his memory, and slowly, even the people before it began to disappear from his memory, too.

"Do you remember anything about last night? About what happened?" Dr. Owens asked.

"I remember they hurt me," Will said.

The moment that Will had collapsed in the rotten pumpkin patch the night before replayed in Kate's mind, sending shivers down her spine. Her father put his hand on her back, signaling he was there for her. Thank God.

"You mean the doctors?" Dr. Owens asked.

Will shook his head slowly. "No. The soldiers."

"The soldiers hurt you?" Dr. Owens asked for clarification. The soldiers hadn't even come near him, nor any of the kids—how could they have hurt him?

"They shouldn't have done that," Will said, his face darkening. "It upset him."

Hopper and Kate turned to face each other, exchanging the same worried and confused glance. Him?

"You say, 'upset him.' Is that him?" The man showed him a photograph of one of Will's drawings, more specifically the one Kate had seen on Will's desk the day before with the shadowy figure surrounded by red lightning. She hadn't thought much about the drawing then, but now it would be permanently etched into her memory. She didn't even want to think about what the people at the lab had done to get a picture of the drawing.

Will looked at the photograph, then turned back to look at the doctor, nodding at him.

"Okay. Okay, I wanna try something," Dr. Owens said, looking at Joyce. "It's gonna seem a little odd at first, but I think it's really gonna help us understand what's going on. Is that okay?" He turned back to look at Will.

Another doctor soon came in with a glass box and a flame thrower. Whenever Kate looked into it, she found that it held a piece of vine that had seemingly come from the tunnels they'd found her father in.

"Now, Will, I want you to just let us know if you feel anything. Okay?" Dr. Owens said.

Before he could reply, the torch ignited, and Kate watched as Will eyed it nervously. She couldn't help but notice that he almost seemed scared of it.

As the ignited flame inched closer and closer to the vine in the glass box, it began to screech softly, and Will only watched the flame nervously. As the heat increased, Will became physically more uncomfortable as the heart rate monitor attached to him increased its speed, increased his pain. He yelled out in pain as his mother begged for the man with the torch to stop the experiment.

"Stop! You heard her! That's enough!" Hopper yelled, stepping in between Will and Dr. Owens. "That's it! We're done!"

As the man over the box lifted the flame away from the vine, Dr. Owens calmly said, "Okay." Will relaxed slightly as the monitor began to slow its beeping back to a more stable speed.

"Sweetie… Sweetie, it's okay," Joyce said, trying to comfort her son.

Dr. Owens took Joyce and Hopper into the hallway to speak more privately about Will's current state, and the doctors all shuffled out of the room, leaving Will, Mike, Kate, and Bob alone together. As Kate watched Will, the boy who was only a shell of who he used to be, she only hoped that someone could do something to help fix him. She knew that Will wouldn't forget them if something wasn't seriously wrong with him.

That was, if Will was even there anymore.

next chapter

taglist:

@thatsonezesty13 @cece5298 @thepowerstoner @alovelytardis @coolchick333 @stand-tall-pineapple @littlet-holmes @guichu @cinderellacauseshebroke @blackbirddaredevil23 @mads-weasley @ilovemarauders @pearlstiare @liableperfections @khaylin27

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x hopper!reader #stranger things 2 #steve harrington series #steve harrington x oc #steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington stranger things

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