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moodymeangirl · 4 months ago

Text

a letter to my ex-chosen-sibling that, at least for now, i will not send

need to save this but don't want it my notes app or in drafts where could accidentally send. so it's going here. ik it's dumb to post on tumblr and simeltabeously ask ppl not to read it. i just needed it said and written. i don't mind if moots see it, but pls bare in mind it's for an irl situation that contains lots of deep soul pain, and involves 2 complex and flawed humans, who are no longer going to be friends but who both deserve good and happy life and who are not monoliths of either harm or good.

Letter begins under cut

Hey. I am getting these messages, but as you know I was away camping over the weekend.

This series of communications (following an extended period of being ghosted without explanation or warning) has had a catastrophic effect on my wellbeing and stability.

I have tried my best to be supportive, did what I could, and asked others to check in on you.

The people I asked to check in on you have both informed me that you're telling them you're fine, not in danger; okay.

I can't cope being on my own supporting you through this, while our mutuals friends laugh it off and treat me like im crazy for taking your wellbeing seriously.

I feel that you want and/or need my support but for whatever reason you don't actually like me or want to be my friend anymore. So you're comfortable pretending I'm crazy for taking you seriously, you're comfortable putting me in emotionally torturous positions, and you're comfortable exploiting my love and loyalty to you, to get what you need.

You've chosen - as u have consistently in the last year of our friendship - to put me in an extremely cruel and traumatic position.

In the last year or so you've suddenly started to behave as though you dislike me, while telling me to my face that you love me and everything is normal:

1. Demonising my autism

2. characterising me as a liar & abuser when u don't understand my autism. deciding you can tell how im feeling better than me, refusing to accept my honesty.

3. admitting in therapy to having a bigotry against autistic people, refusing to prove ur doing the work (as Jan requested of u), and continuing to demonise anything you perceive as autistic that i do.

4. simultaneously taking advantage of my autism/blind trust/gullibility to gaslight and convince me im okay with being treated as ur infrior, and as a bomb thats inevitably going to explode.

5. u went out of your way to convince me im inherently abusive and while i went out of my mind trying to fix myself in therapy, you

6. are consistently absent from therapy. i am committed and have been since the start and u dont turn up, refuse to share progress, and have never once apologised for the continuing bigotry you admitted to in the space, soon after which you stopped attending.

7. Crushing any boundary I try to set and using our therapy to reinforce this pattern. Jan asked me to set a boundary. You agreed to my face, in front of Jan and the first time it came up irl you ignored it, ghosted me for a week, and only talked to me again once you had devised a new boundary of your own, which specfically existed to destory mine. You then entered the joint therapy space and somehow convinced Jan (who had asked me to set the boundary in the first plsce) to encourage me to accept that my boundaries are less important than yours. That my respect of you is paramount but your respect for me is immaterial.

8. Most egregiously: leveraging ur very real safety concerns in a largely successful attempt to remove my equality and autonomy ie phone mumbers, chats, email. Telling me to my face and in therapy repeatedly, that I can't be allowed to contact you bc of security whilst simultaneously having me introduce you to and fetch numbers for my best friends, who you immediately created signal chats with right in front of my face.

You gaslit me, insisted everything was normal, you called me 'sister and said that you loved me. All while forcing me to accept being an uneuqal and your inferior, within the structure of our friendship.

I only ever get to speak to you when you need my help, support, or resources. If I need my chosen sibling, my best friend, I have to cry myself to sleep wishing you'd happen to call.

If you felt any kind of negativity towards me during a call you'd hang up and ghost me, knowing how that tortures me - and frankly not caring.

You would ghost me for weeks, months knowing I was worried for you. You would wait till I was begging on email (that u mostly ignored) to finally speak to me again and you would happily listen as I expressed gratitude to hear your voice. You enforced a structural silent treatment, a deliberate emotional abuse, and you never once allowed me to express pain from this, without hanging up and enacting that torture all over again.

These last 2 months while u refused to contact me, give me any explanation, or talk to me directly at all - you knew the last I'd heard from Jan is that you were still medically incapacitated. You knew I'd be caring and worried. You knew all that time I was in contact w C, literally advocating for u in direct contact w police. And u just ghosted me, regardless.

The reason why I finally got too stressed about your wellbeing btw, is that L had an accident from which they should have died. I'd have loved to speak to my best friend when I was sobbing my eyes out waiting to see their mri, but instead I was completely alone.

Having faced their mortality, all I could think about was you. I genuinely believed you were so sick from covid that you couldn't contact me. I thought you, too, might be in an ICU somewhere, dying.

How lovely to find out was right to be worried, that ur life was in danger, and that my instincts that u felt unsaid negative things toward me - were all true.

How lovely to be exploited, bullied, and tortured for months, then ghosted. Then when I reach out, worried sick for your wellbeing: metaphorically tied to a chair while u threaten suicide, not so I can't stop you - but because if I was near you, you'd be in danger.

I plead with you to live and I start to hope you will.

I see familiar faces nearby so I scream to them, I'm screaming to them that you're in danger im begging them to help you.

But you tell them you're fine. You convince them nothing's wrong.

They see an unstable, dangerous MMG.

Why is she so worried lol?

I'm the only one who knows and is trying to help and you've keep me tied up, all I can do is watch and desperately obey whatever u want me to do.

U say Covenant is the only thing that helps, will I help you with it. I help you to the very best of my ability, while crying and losing my mind with worry.

You thank me for my generous choice to be 'thorough'.

Suddenly, after months of complete disinterest in me as a person u wanna laugh together about ppl in ur group.

U wanna know what im writing.

Ur telling me if I'm your friend, you're unsafe. Ur telling me if I be your friend then you'll stay alive. Ur telling anyone I express my care for you to, that you're fine.

9. And now, suddenly , after ghosting me for 60+ days in a row (and hundreds of days combined over the last year), you're in my inbox sarcastically suggesting I might be dead, bc I didn't respond to u for like a day and a half - when u know I'm camping, out of town, likely without reception.

Ftr, it seems obvious to me now but when u sent 'are u ther' I had no idea what you meant, replied within an hour, and waited on tenterhooks to see what u meant.

When u did reply, I couldn't bc we were packing and my phone was dead most of the time. I saw the icon when I did turn it on, but only had minimal internet and already needed to zoom my psychiatrist from the tiny lil shed where there was a wall charger.

I was on less than one bar and one percent.

On Tuesday I slept most of the day, exhausted. And when I saw two emails had appeared from you I had a panic attack. If not for L offering to call, I might have been too scared to read them.

Colour me surprised, to find you being rude and sarcastic bc I didn't get back to you after one solitary day - after u had repeatedly and deliberately ghosted me dozens of times in the last six months.

The most recent email, to which I'm replying here, confirmed all my instincts and fears, and experiences.

10. The whole reason on which you predicated the necessity of my unequal treatment in our friendship is that if I (or anyone) has the ability to contact you, your safety will be compromised.

You had spent months bullying me into accepting this via therapy, via demonising my autism and gaslighting me into thinking I'm an inherently harmful person (something you know my dad used to control and abuse me as a child), via telling me I'm doing DV to you when u don't like my tone, via starving me of affection and attention, via only being warm to me if I was supporting you through something.

You had spent months subjecting me to a structurally enforced silent treatment, only punctuated by indirect news of serious sickness, which began with no warning and ended with no explanation.

While I cried myself to sleep imagining you dying alone in an ICU, too weak to move - you happily operated signal chats with my best friends.

I vouched for you to them using our decade of trust and love, i wlecomed you into my home repeatedly, my community spaces, and went out of my way to help your support network expand.

All the while i did this, you ghosted me, let me think you were ill, and expected that my significant support would continue regardless. At this same time, you were 'excited for the future, planning to visit' S in her home country. These plans we all made together were suddenly something you did quietly on your own, while ignoring my existence and letting me believe u were incapacitated by illness.

I only found out bc I was so unwell these last weeks that S let slip. She couldn't understand why I was acting as though this was an emergency, bc in her world you were actively planning future holidays and being excited.

Ftr, S still doesn't think this was an emergency.

She stopped talking to me after repeatedly assuring me I could confide in her, and eventually explained she felt helpless in the face of my stress. Her boundaries now involve me not expressing the extent of my panic that you're going to die.

I have been screaming myself hoarse trying to get people to take me seriously. But they can't. My friendships with both C and S will never be the same bc they are both certain ur fine. C even said u were completely 'normal'.

And meanwhile, I'm trapped, bound to that chair trying desperately to be supportive, deal with my own hurt and heartbreak at how little you think of or care for me, and find the strength to work on repairing my friendship with S, even tho the wound isn't something I knew about or put there - until it suddenly became my responsibility to fix.

All because you, for some reason, would prefer to torture emotional and social support out of me - while continuing to demonise me - than to like, ask.

Like you could just ask. Me or others. There's doesn't have to be love, friendship, or strings.

You could even just be honest and say you haven't liked me for ages now, but you need my help.

You could respect that both of us are unhappy in the friendship by acknowledging that, and then being clear about what's happening.

You don't need to coerce me into helping u with Covenant and then gaslight me that I chose to.

You don't need to love bomb after i help, you don't need to speak in that whole StatementDemandStatementDemand pattern that is all through the rest of these emails.

You don't need to hide your struggle from the people you do treat with respect (S, C, even J).

11. idk if it was cowardice or you just don't care. But your choice not to tell me how you really feel, while showing me that you hate me in your actions - for at least the last six months, maybe longer tbh - has broken my heart. Fully, probs irreparably.

12. You would've gotten away with it, if L hadn't almost died that week.

If Ba hadn't almost died the next night.

If I hadn't been so scared for you I started to try and find a way for u to hear me, after months of enforced silence.

Idk if u replied bc I talked to C, S, or J, or bc I said I'd come to ur house. Or bc u simply happened to be logged in and have to sit with the fact that I exist for the first time in months.

Idk.

You might even have been thinking of me a lot in that time. Idk. Bc it doesn't matter, bc what you did was:

make and keep me unequal in our friendship, ignore my existence unless u needed to use me, enforced this any time you felt even the slightest negative feeling.

Idk what you thought you were doing, but what you *were* doing was breaking my heart.

13. You havent gotten away with it. Bc of what you chose to do, knowing - years ago having promised to never put me in a position where I'm the only person who knows you're suicidal, ever again - you chose to do so.

Knowing that with our history I would take you extremely seriously.

Knowing that you would cause a serious ptsd episode.

You knowingly broke a boundary you yourself set, to safeguard me, bc you knew if you did I'd take you seriously, go into emergency mode, and offer support.

On its own this is manipulative and deliberately disrespecting my boundaries, but in an emergency, I get it.

I don't forgive u but I understand.

What I don't understand is how cruelly you had treated me up till this point and how you continued to choose the cruellest option as we emailed.

14. Knowing our past, you lied to our other friends that you're okay. Still letting them laugh at me and think I'm crazy, while I'm begging them to help me try to keep you alive.

You knew. And still, you did it.

You chose not simply to break that boundary, but to actively trap me inside that unsafe situation, refusing care from others until those people turned on me for daring to ask.

You chose to do this, while ensuring I know I'm unsafe for you to be friends with.

You scared me, incapacitated me, and when I attempted to gather more supports for you - you lied to them, effectively muzzling me in all three friendships.

You then coerced me into helping you, attempted rather blatantly to gaslight me into thinking it was something I had a choice in, attempted to love bomb me, and then went right back to StatementDemandStatementDemand when it was clear your manipulation wasn't working.

15. I was doing the helping tho. Like that's what I don't get. I was seeing thru the manipulation but I still gave my best attempt at support.

I rly don't understand why, if u don't want to be my friend but u do want to ask for my support as a community member - why you didn't just do that?

You know my values. You know I'd have helped.

16. The emotional torture was completely unnecessary and completely unacceptable.

17. Frankly, the emotional torture tactics you've used on me for long time now are completely unnecessary and completely unacceptable.

18. The ways you have consistently treated me within the last year of our friendship has been flat out wrong.

19. Hypocritical too. Which I guess was just part of the gaslighting, huh:

You had so much anger on my behalf toward F and then went on to do the same thing ten times more often and ten times worse.

You had so much anger on my behalf at ld while simultaneously demonising accusing me, and abusing me in exactly the same ways. You spent 6 months trying to gaslight me into believing I'm inherently harmful, just by existing. Id only did that once.

You've enacted it dozens and dozens of times.

Sadly, both of you did it for the same reason.

I rejected Id sexually and suddenly I had to be shown my place.

I rejected the role you wanted me to play in our friendship (inferior, doesnt have own needs, obedient), so you had to show me my place.

The difference is Id's was an outburst, yours was a plan.

20. But no, you haven't gotten away with any of this because I can see clearly now.

I knew these tortures and manipulations and gaslightings were based on lies.

But now I can prove it.

You leveraged almost the entirety of the issues in our friendship (minus my own flaws which haven't repeated since the first time, and which ive been working hard on in therapy while youve been absent) on the lie that if there was structural equality in our friendship, if I was allowed to be equally free and autonomous, then your safety would be compromised.

Now I knew that was a lie, ever since you had me watch you set up chats with the only other ppl i love, people you'd known two weeks, people I encouraged you to make friends with. But u think so little of me, u made me get the numbers, made me watch, made my heart break, and then gaslit me into accepting the ludicrous lie that was apparently about your past, but suddenly wasnt a necessary safety measure for anyone except me - the one person who knows that shit fr and who u actually can trust not breach it.

Bro, u could literally have just said it was about me, that you felt unsafe.

You would have hurt me, but at least it would have been true.

On the other hand if i knew you didnt like me, want to be my friend, you wouldnt have had access to my ftiends in the first place.

Not thru malice, just youd have had to make those friendships without my vouching for u.

You knew you could abuse me, control me, get me to accept it, and u felt safe I'd never tell - so u just did it.

All the while leveraging ur irl safety issues that r very serious.

It's just like, disgusting of you.

You went out of your way to harm my soul at every opportunity.

You consistently chose to keep my friendship to you, while doing anything you could to get me to accept receiving nothing from you in return.

The easiest way to do that was to make me believe I'm abusing u based solely on my neurotype, ie born this way, and that I was lucky you were even in my life at all.

So you did that.

Did you get what you wanted from me? Was it worth destroying somebody's love for you? Was it worth destroying your closest friend?

21. I'm guessing no, bc it's rly hard to convince someone they're something they're not.

Like you did a good job in terms of me obeying you and never speaking up in therapy and saying the right things.

But in my mind, I knew I didn't deserve to be hurt like this.

Parts of the system started to put ptsd blocks up around you, and eveytime we masked what was rly happening in our friendship w you, we edged closer to telling someone.

By putting us in such a traumatic position

(trapped witnessing ur possible death, being told the mechanisms I would usually use to help, make u unsafe, and u telling everyone willing to reach out to u that you're fine - except me, this person ur treating like u hate)

you exposed us to a level of emergency clarity we wouldn't have had access to otherwise.

22. You predicated all of this, all this shit, on the 'fact' that if I could contact u, you'd be in danger.

And then, I took a day to reply one time and suddenly ur sarcastic abt whether Im alive. Sibling, I cried myself to sleep for months with genuine reason to be concerned for ur health.

U decide u want my attention and bc of extenuating circumstances (that u knew abt in advance) u had to wait a day and a half to use me aaaaand

Suddenly u have a phone.

Suddenly u want me call you on it.

Suddenly ur not in danger if i do, suddenly doing so is good.

You think so fundamentally little of me that after all the pain over this damn phone thing, I'm going to forget and come running desperate for a scrap of affection or gratitide.

Suddenly u want me, an 'unsafe' person, to contact u directly.

Suddenly, suddenly suddenly.

23. None of this was safety shit was true from the moment you asked me for J's number and still wouldn't let us have a signal chat.

You're not over me, not better than me, not my superior.

I was under the impression that after 10+ years of being best friends that you viewed me as (at bare minimum) an equal.

You do not.

You use me, when u need me you say you love me and refer to my being your sister.

When you don't, you abandon me to a silent treatment you designed so that I could not escape.

24. I've showed all ur and my messages to L , S2, and my mum.

They all unprompted and without explanation of the messages from me, said they felt I was being exploited and lied to.

All three of them voiced concerns that you have in fact lied to me about being suicidal, not to S and C about being okay.

25. I don't believe that. For all the harm, I actually know y'all pretty damn well.

I think you're suffering and have been for some time.

I think you want my friendship and support but for a long time now, have not wanted to be my friend yourself.

I think that you don't want to show S or C your vulnerability and mental illness bc you're afraid they'll judge you and leave, as others unfairly have.

I think you felt that respecting me by being honest ie friendship, was too risky that you would hurt my feelings and lose my support.

I think parts of you also feared losing the ease with which you could access the communities I belong to, the people I had introduced you to, and the generosity with which I share my resources with you, almost to a fault.

Not that you'd lose the people, the spaces. Just the ease of access, and my money (of which u know there is very little).

26. But whatever reasons got you there, you decided to break almost every basic tenet of friendship: dishonesty, cruelty, gasligjting, manipulation, bullying, and humiliating.

You kept me around to service you financially and emotionally and you used my vulnerability in therapy, my vulnerability in introducing you to the other people I live, and my vulnerability in having built a decades worth of family level trust.

You abused it and you abused me.

You broke my heart a thousand times and encouraged me to blame myself.

Finally, you were in enough pain to notice my worry for you.

You put me in an emotional saw trap, so that I would help you - with no regard for my wellbeing, or the truth of your wellbeing, so long as you could control me.

27. Finally, you couldn't even live through my phone being out of service for 2 days without ironically cruelly and sarcastically laughing about whether im alive. 60 days u ghosted me without the merest hint of caring how i felt.

28. But 2 days of knowing im away, that i cant be perfectly obedient in how i communicate, and u go mask off.

Tore down the entire paradigm of gaslighting u had used to make me accept being unequal, bc you think so fundamentally little of me, that you think I'll come running begging for scraps of ur attention, begging to destroy my own life, stabity, and health for the privilege of being threatened that if I don't, I'l contribute to ending yours.

29. IF. IF it turns out you are/were not suicidal, as you told me, and are okay as you told C and S. Then you and I both know, that would make you pretty much evil. That'd be like. Idek...

You saw my email, decided to deliberately trigger a severe ptsd episode, while pushing me towards an existential crisis of identity knowing I'm autistically and DID-ly susceptible to suggestion and knowing I'd be in emergency mode bc of the risk of ur death?

If that's what happened. I just. I don't believe you'd do that. To me, to anyone. That can't possibly be true.

30. I don't think you'd do that, tho. Not even L.

I think:

y'all were in pain and generally don't care about me.

But I emailed that day and u happened to be logged in, so u saw an opportunity to receive emergency care, without needing to respect the person giving it.

In the last year, y'all have inexplicably become comfortable emotionally torturing us, to get what you want. Idk why, can't explain it.

And y'all have consistently lied to us, and bullied us into accepting it as normal.

31. Well. Game over. You took it too far and your cruelty towards me is visible now.

I feel like I thought we were friends - best friends - but rly you haven't been my friend for a long time.

Just that nobody told me, so I kept loving and being heartbroken and loving and being broken again.

This feels like when my dad cheated on my mum but then claimed with a straight face that she had ended their relationship by choosing not to accept that behaviour.

33. You ended our friendship the moment you gaslit me into accepting inequality.

34. Again when I was encouraged in therapy to accept that I'm not allowed boundaries.

35. Then, again when you ghosted for 2 months,

36. again when simultaneously you were happily carrying out a social life with my loved ones that I was explicitly excluded from while I was ghosted,

37. again when u broke ur promise and put me back into an identical situation as last time (the difference being u chose this one, last time was chance),

38. again when you lied to other supports who I asked to check in,

39. again when u coerced me to help u live then acted like I was just being a nice person after I complied.

And I wanted to help, btw, I'm glad u asked. But u acted like I hadn't been tied to a chair this whole time.

Like I wasn't losing my entire mind with fear of you passing away, like I wasn't questioning every element of my personhood to figure out if I did help, would I inadvertently kill you just by being me?

40. again when u started facetiously talking about whether im alive bc I didn't get a message that same day,

41. again when u brought the whole castle of lies crumbling down bc u need to use me for something.

42. Broke my heart thinking I'm so stupid and pathetic as to just ignore it, call u on ur phone number, watch as you're not in danger at all.

Watch as being in a signal chat with me doesn't risk the life of u or your child, who all this time you've been ignoring me I had been advocating for on your behalf - not that u ever acknowledged that or the update emails I sent.

43. Idk what you think of me. I don't.

I just know your your actions say:

I'm not worthy of being treated to equal friendship and care.

Worthy of lies, worthy of gasligjting, worthy of enforced isolation, worthy of demonisation, worthy of blatant inequality, blatant, admitted, bigotry and discrimination.

Worthy of being tortured.

Important enough to be abused for my support and my care.

So staggeringly unimportant that the harm that necessitated is unspoken, ignored, lied about, and erased.

44. I don't begrudge you wanting to be supported by me emotionally. I don't begrudge you wanting to share in my resources, and I don't begrudge you not liking me anymore.

45. But you tortured me for months:

You lied about me and to me.

You didn't just check out of our friendship, you started treating me like your enemy and then didn't stop and haven't stopped.

You assured me nothing was wrong.

You gaslit me to high heaven.

You chose to use the same tactics you knew my dad used on me.

You used our therapy to control me in front of authority, who continually joined in for reasons I cannot surmise.

You took evey single opportunity to torture me.

You loved me only immediately after I had been used or helped you.

You hung up when it was my turn to confide. You only returned to me if u could gain something from my begging or if u needed me to do friendship things for you.

46. You designed the last year or so of our friendship this way.

Had me agree, leveraged irl serious safety issues.

And then showed me that it was untrue to my face.

Made me participate in my own exclusion and inferiority, had one rule for people I love and another rule for me.

47. Fundamentally, it all comes down to this:

in order to be your friend, receive care and respect, required me to accept being inferior to you.

It never did before but for some reason, since about this time in 2023, you began treating me as subhuman and disguising feelings of what I think were dislike.

48. I'm very confused by this.

I'd never known y'all to be abusive b4 this, and I've never judged your flaws bc your actions were always loving and moral - at least in our eyes.

I was loyal, respectful, and kind throughout our friendship.

You and I had been thru the ringer together and never sought to abuse, control, or harm one another.

All ik is this: there r people in ur system who don't hate me like y'all hate me rn.

There are people who must be as confused as me.

49. I don't judge y'all.

I'm not going to spend my life wondering about who y'all rly are at ur cores.

50. But I know I can't be friends with somebody who is free to be kind and consistently chooses to harm me.

51. If you ever want to be my friend again, I expect equality:

equal right to choice and freedom,

honesty,

equal right to boundaries and demonstrated willingness to respect them,

freedom from torture,

love,

respect,

and freedom from bigotry.

52. I don't want to be your friend anymore.

I love you sm but ur actions, choices, and words speak for themselves.

53. I don't want a friend who manipulates and bullies me into helping them, instead of asking.

I don't want a friend who only takes, never gives, and isn't even respectful enough to be honest about it.

I don't want anyone in my life who tells me they love me and treats me like shit.

Been there, done that.

We're a grown ass motherfucking woman, and you won't force us to accept it.

54. The reason we have always helped you and been generous is because we love you.

That's it. We still love you now, but we are choosing to break our own heart.

(rn our heart would forgoe being treated like a loved equal respected human being, just to hear a scrap of positive news from you).

55. This whole time you had structural communicative power over me.

At any time, you could have called, texted, or set up a chat.

You know my number, address, mums number, and virtually every way to access me there is.

With this amount of freedom and trusted access, you chose to socialise with me only when u wanted something from me, in therapy where u were engaged in a campaign of gaslighting (when u turned up), or in wider social situations where u could access other people than me.

With this freedom u chose to never check in, ask how im doing, or lmk about your wellbeing.

With this freedom u actively hid ur socialising with my loved ones from me.

With this freedom you chose to demand and recieve my friendship when it suited you.

You chose to neglect and ignore me at all other times.

56. I do love you.

So much.

But you know that, it's how you've been able to treat me poorly for so long.

It's what you're banking on when u sent me ur number, as if u hadn't made my life hell for the last 6 months after I dared to ask for it.

Something which you never acknowledged, accused me of being abusive for bringing up, and for which you have not apologised.

But yeah I'm just going to ignore all reality, show myself zero respect, and run thirsty for love back into ur arms? So you can reveal whatever it is you need me for? So you can tell me you'll die unless I help again? So you can pretend I'm just a rlly good Samaritan? rather than ur broken sister whose terrified of losing you, who would do almost anything to help you, and who almost died helping the first time and almost died this time, too. Rather than the one person who would cop the pain youve been handing me for months on end and only ever think of your wellbeing?

Rather than the one person you know loves u to the moon and back, the one person you have deemed inferior to all others - not in spite of this, but bc of it. Wanna make me into a uncommonly kind person in ur head to avoid sitting with the truth?

That my love for you is why you abused me. It makes me vulnerable and, idk what changed. But suddenly, this time last year, my choice of vulnerability and trust of you, became something you wanted to exploit.

57. I'm not here to be nice, I'm here to love us.

Us as in the people in this friendship.

I'm going to love and respect both of us by standing firm on boundaries, on respect, and on equality.

This friendship, from any perspective, cannot keep existing. It does not allow people in it to be equal, respected, and safe.

58. We, personally, will never accept again in our life, the way y'all treated us in the last throes of our close friendship.

You chose to take a decades worth of love and trust, and you chose to milk it for whatever u could get without you yourself having to participate in your side of relationship.

We are broken.

You had the power to destroy us. And in chasing a slave for emotional labour, you almost succeeded.

But you didn't

and we're done.

Still: with love and warm wishes,

your one-time sister,

MMG

#mmg speaks #saving for the system #showing self respect on main sorry heheh

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calledbyflowers · 6 months ago

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my gf

the prologomena to the logical investigations by edmund husserl

soft scrambled eggs

public transit

the kill james bond podcast

my gf is so pretty and nice and sweet and caring and lovely and beautiful and she has a wonderful facility w language a real elegance in the way that she communicates and the way that she moves thru the world and a few days ago she gagged me w her used panties and then bit my neck and my tits and started groping me and then when she spanked me i came

i truly adore husserls logical investigations especially the prologomena. i fink it develops the idea of a correlation without priority extremely well and informs my own metaphysical views a lot. like the idea that an ideal meaning has as its objective correlate a state of affairs and vice versa that the world is correlated w a system (systems in the plural id say) of meanings and in turn w the ideal possibility of consciousness (in community w other consciousness) cognizing evidentially this kind of metaphysical trinity where from each element the others r interderivable its just beautiful and ik that ur kind of abstracting out a slice of reality and obstructing the flow of being in doing so but as nietzsche says of spinoza one can do this motivated by a love of the world and a desire to preserve it in all its splendor rather than a disdain for the world (tho i do obvs have disdain for The World thats in another sense of world bla bla bla). also husserl dunks on empiricists and like the intellectual precursors to evo psych douchebags which is always a good time

i luv scrambled eggs (both literally and metaphorically hehehe) but like in a literal sense i watched this j kenji lopez alt video abt making fancy girl scrambled eggs where u like boil water to get it to the right temperature and put cold butter in it and u remove it from heat before its fully solidified to give it this rlly nice like curdy creamy texture it fucks so hard. i also add cheese

public transit is a glory unto God which affirms our creaturely nature as being which r not perfect autonomous liberal little points of self-directed being but rather as in community w and depending upon each other. public transit is dependence and it is liberation. u can go anywhere. do anything. u dont need a car or to find a place to park or anything. ur just at a place. i visited germany three times and each one was a kind of hell of sinkng further and furhter into depression but the one saving grace of each experience was that i got to ride the train. german trains fill me with a kind of intense religious fervor but even the bus system in my hometown is a place where divinity glimmers thru into this fallen world

i like my funny lil podcasts where the funny lil ppl in my phone say silly things and sometimes serious and devestating things and sometimes when im extremely depressed or im so dysphoric that to look at another human being fills me w dread (either looking at a femme or androgynous person and seeing how im Not That or looking at a masc person and comaring myself to them) and it helps me leave my body a lil bit and just vibe and chill and it gets me thru some hard times. rn thats mostly listening to kill james bond which is a v funny cast

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nahalism · 10 months ago

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There’s this girl who has been in me for two years and no matter what I do, it doesn’t go away. I have periods where I’m doing great and also not. When I’m not doing great, I think about her and it drives me crazy. When I’m doing great, I work on myself, feel better, but then it hits me harder. As if she gets closer. She comes in dreams, but I can also feel her. Never bad, it always has been warm and pure. She changed me and my life. Unknowingly. It made me spiritual. Weird thing, we only spoke online. The past three weeks the dreams turned into nightmares and it’s not warm and pure. Its not like the other dreams, where I felt both of us where there. I’m not sure if my fears are hunting me, or if it’s really happening. She ignored me in the dream, walked away and was with another guy. She had a relationship and I was happy for her, but this just feels different. The dreams make me not wanna sleep and this sounds even crazier, but i feel like I sense her being intimate w another guy. It’s a gross feeling in my body and idc about nothing, but this drives me mental. Idk what it is or why her. Never had this with any girl. Not the ones I dated either. Tbh I asked myself if it’s me linking this awaking to her, but this awaking happened 4/5 after we stopped talking. I asked myself if I portray my desires on her, but it can’t be. The first time I’ve seen her face on a photo, i don’t know what it was, but I heard “she’s part of you” and honestly not one day since then has been without her in my head. Beside that she’s my opposite. It can’t be real. She’s on every guy and very open minded, while I am very private and just want to be in a relationship rather than being w everyone a little bit for a while. I know it’s weird. I did not tell her this or anyone I know, cuz how tf do you explain. I accepted it all. We either speak, meet or will never, but I can’t bare living w these dreams and gross things in my body. You seem honest, whatever it is I’m curious about your thoughts. Have you felt anything similar or have tips on how to get rid of this?

hey. in advance, this is going to be really long – i 100% believe in unexplainable spiritual, emotional, mental ties that occur between people, whether they're built over time, or instantaneous. i think sometimes those quick intense bonds need to be watched though, because whether or not theres a true vibrational match underlying them, they tend to have their roots in trauma or unconscious conditioning.

its hard to speak on your situation because i dont know the depth and breadth of you guy's conversations. im weary of filling you with a false perception or confidence that theres potential between you, when i have no evidence to support that. there may or may not be something between you both, but ill gear my observations toward your own self enquiry, then hopefully if there is potential between you two, that self inquiry will put you in better stead to further cultivate your relationship with her and yourself.

disclaimer: i know you said you dont think your projecting your own desire on to her, but i have to speak the truth of what i feel with the facts i have. – often what we feel in relation to other people is a deep mirror of something operating within ourselves. since most people are usually unaware of what those aspects within them are, we feel drawn to understand them and relate to them by understanding ourselves through the people we are drawn to. this means you may not be actively projecting your feelings on to her, but that she is a larger projection of something you resonate with/feel. if not, she wouldnt be such a high vibrational match to you and showing up for you the way she is, and intensely as she is.

if the truth of the situation is that you feel bonded to this girl beyond physical explanation, (a connection so deep its awakening things within you you never felt before), then my question for you is, why haven't you spoken to her about it, or made moves to actively pursue her? im not saying divulge the full depth of your feelings and experiences straight away, because telling her all that at once might be a bit intense and scare her off. (not because what you feel is wrong, but because it can be confusing to have someone feel all these things about you without having met you, or truly gotten to know u. she may feel unduly fantasised about or fetishised which will enhance a feeling that the relationship is one way & feel way too intense, yfm?)

anyway, the fact you feel all these things but are so quick to accept that you 'may never meet her and nothing may ever come of it' seems like complete passivity and almost a rejection of pursuing what you deep down desire or yearn for in order to protect urself/ ur feelings/preserve ur pride from rejection/failure? (or even out of the feeling that even if your current relationship is limited, at least it still exists which is better than nothing). regardless of the reason, the fact your talking to me about this and haven't addressed it with her, is an issue, and the part you need to get to the bottom of. regardless of if she feels the same right now, its fully possible that had you moved to her, she may have awakened to that same feeling, and same connection you feel toward her. the fact that you didnt, and werent vulnerable with what you were feeling in the moment is what allowed that chance to slip.

what may be haunting you in the form of those nightmares may therefore not even have anything to do with her being with other guys. it could be a reflection of the discomfort you feel deep down toward all you feel but haven't voiced/acted on. if that resonates, then it could be that the disgust/grossness you feel, is less about her actions, and more about you having fumbled an opportunity to be in a role you secretly desire to be in with her due to your own inability to act on what you feel. – again, if that resonates question: is that theme present somewhere else in your life? wanting something deeply but not striving to attain it because you feel its futile and out of your reach? – if thats the case, are the intensity of your feelings truly about her, or do they exist in relation to her in as far as she represents something desired but unattainable. –––– if im completely off here then question why it is that you cant bare to think of her with someone else. you cant bare to perceive her in the way you usually feel comfortable doing, specifically because she feels distant to you and attached to someone else.. yet you also havent done the work to make sure that wouldn't be the case?

who knows. it could be that she is a part of you. whether thats as a life partner or as a teacher, only you and she can answer that. her being your opposite doesn't mean she cant be perfect for you, and her being more liberal with her approach to dating at the moment doesn't mean that she may not desire containment and a long term relationship. but in order for that to manifest, you also have to show up in your authority and as the kind of person she feels willing to be in a relationship with. being blasé or nonchalant is not cool and is not the embodiment of that energy.

this is all hypothetical of course, because idk if her feelings toward you are mutual. if they are, id suggest you do the work to make yourself emotionally and physically available to her. dont fear rejection or assume that if shes into you she'll drop everything and make you a priority. you may have to put in work and show up as a solid figure for a while for the situation to unfold.

if she isnt in to you, try not to beat yourself up or feel weird for 'inventing scenarios' in your heard. your not weird, your working through something, and as time passes the lesson will be whats prominent, not the circumstances that brought you to learning it. take the l, charge it, just do the work to make sure u arent caught slipping again.

i genuinely hope this helped and that i didnt just make u feel more misunderstood. im sending u love and all the resolve necessary to be able to assert yourself accordingly in this situation!!! may you get your desired outcome, and that regardless of whether u do or dont the growth that comes from this is the most beautiful part. ty for trusting in me enough to share with me and lean on me <333333333333

bon chance !

#ask

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igbylicious · 4 months ago

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TYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY (⁀ᗢ⁀) in a shocking turn of events, taking a tumblr break made me more productive??? sounds fake i know asdkjasdjkdsajk

im picking sannie up in my hands and smooching him like hes a wet, scared kitten.

pls!!! give him all the smooches!!!!!!!!! ;;;;;;;;;;

..okay, you’re forgiven bc this is a delicious mental image hdnhsjhjshd

u r welcome hehe (¯ ³¯)♡ but for real asdkjasdkjsda i’m happy it was appreciated!!! i needed it to be 100% clear that San’s anxiety was *completely* unfounded ♡

The way it’s SO easy to imagine this T_T He’s such a good dom and such a pillar for the other two in this story, and it’s easy to forget that he’s also a human with needs and limits and fears. And a past.

this yessss!!!!! the two incidents aren’t directly related obv, but i really wanted this moment as sortof a reverse to the chapter where Woo and reader had their ‘fight’, where San helped to sort them out and took care of them. now the fight was just San vs San’s brain :c yes he is their strong mountain to rest on, but he also needs (and deserves!) some taking care of ;;

Insecurity (or jealousy?) that they know each other better than either of them knows her? Just thinking out loud eheh

a lil bit of column A, a lil bit of column B! plus a small sprinkling of ‘bc they know each other better than she knows them’ askjadsjkdsjk. reader is getting better w/ her confidence within the QP-throuple but she still has a lil further to go! ♡

YES TELL HIM!!!! I love it when a situation like this is turned on its head. I can hear San thinking “it’s not the same” but IT IS 👏

it’s SO hard to turn off those double standards and treat yourself w/ the same kindness you treat others!!! T_T (i say, absolutely not speaking out of personal experience or whatever, no siree!)

oh he knows xD

asdjkdasjk i have this lil headcanon that whiway San wakes up with morning wood so regularly that Wooyoung lowkey can’t help but take it as a personal slight when San doesn’t, even if as a fellow owner-of-a-dick he knows perfectly damn well that’s not how it works askdjasdjkdaskj. like. what did i do to piss you off, bro? why didn’t you wake up hard for me today? ://///

Woo really bit him awake, menace that he is <3

he’s got a Brand™ and he ain’t abt to let anyone forget it hehe ♡

“Hey. Good morning.”

I HECKEN LOST IT AT THE SAN PIC YOU PUT HERE ASKJSADKJDSJKDJKSKJSD he even was in a sentimental mood here too 〒▽〒 truly one of The Most moments ever god i love that man and whatever he’s got going on in that brainpan of his 〒▽〒

Igbyyyy oh my goOdnhjjd this part where they’re only just starting to, err, take care of San. there’s something white-hot but light inside my chest seeing him like this, it’s just like. relief? also hornie, you know how it is. (maybe it's just that i'm getting to put my own brain into San for once, in this fic? That's how my brain works btw, it puts itself into whoever is the sub and/or bottom in a fic and i perceive the fic as though i am them. or something like that?)

no waaaaaaait omg i actually got really soft at this, i love knowing how this works for you and i love that you finally got to sink into whiway San’s brain ahhhhh ;;;;; it just feels right for him to also get a proper turn, and i’m so happy you had a good time in his brain heheheh ♡ (i do know how it is lol asdkjdsajkasd ♡)

>:3c there are remedies for that. by which i mean.. tying him up so he doesn’t have any way to reciprocate. ✨

(WARNING: HARD THOUGHTS RAMBLE ACTIVATED)

no but (〃ಡ‸ಡ〃) i keep going back to this thought (〃ಡ‸ಡ〃) abt reader wanting to dom more often, and esp learning how to do bondage (〃ಡ‸ಡ〃) and so San teaches her all the knots and ties, and obv Woo gets practised on a lot hehe~ but eventually she asks San the inevitable question; “can i tie you up?” and San is not-averse-but-a-lil-reluctant-but-also-a-lil-curious (〃ಡ‸ಡ〃)

(he’s tried some stuff on himself to know what it feels like for his subs but has never been tied up by another person)

so San and reader start experimenting; and they really make a moment out of doing some decorative non-restrictive shibari on each other to surprise Wooyoung (〃ಡ‸ಡ〃)

and San’s waaaayyyyy more into the whole thing than he expected so they get a lil frisky while waiting for Wooyoung — and then Woo gets lovingly tag-teamed by two very worked up doms once he gets home (〃ಡ‸ಡ〃) (he barely gets a moment to breathe and properly admire the ropework lol)

and then that experience opens San up to consider that yeah, he’d be willing to go a step further w/ the bondage & let reader tie him to the bed or smth (〃ಡ‸ಡ〃) and it’s so intense and freeing and like even lowkey super cathartic maybe???? (〃ಡ‸ಡ〃)

(Wooyoung is on-site to film the whole thing obv and he’s got such a tight death-grip on the camera it almost cracks in his hand asdkjasdjkdas. i think he’d (try to) be on his best behaviour this first time for San’s sake, but on a repeat he might be unable to resist menacing San a lil bit while San is tied up and unable to tame the brat out of him hehe~)

idk it could just be a cute gateway for San to realise he’s more of a switch than he thinks he is (〃ಡ‸ಡ〃)

(HARD THOUGHTS RAMBLE OVER ASKDJAJSDKASDKJ)

i know he’s mainly a dom in this dynamic but he’s actually such a perfect and wonderful sub that i might cry

asdkjadksjads yeah this chapter was actually my biggest reason for making him mainly a dom, bc i love the dynamic of a dom getting pampered by his subs — but goddddddddddddd if my prev hard thoughts ramble hasn’t given me away yet; i am a HUGE switch-teez enthusiast asdkjadsjkdas and sub San is just… yeah he’s just SO good :’)

Just a funny little anecdote from a previous fandom i was in: me and some pals™ became obsessed with a 3way ship and made up many kinky scenes for them, one of which resulted in me adding the white card “edging a guy and then coming on his tits” to our custom Cards Against Humanity deck. And this scene reminded me of that :3

1) asdjkasdkjaskj i love fandom and fandom friendship :’). 2) THAT COULD LITERALLY HAVE BEEN THE PROMPT FOR THIS SCENE LOL ‘San must get edged & his tits must be appreciated to the fullest’ were the two main thoughts when outlining the smut ASDKJSDJKDSJK

Im standing on my balcony, looking to the horizon. The sun is rising, casting everything i can see in warm light, the wind tickling me as it sweeps through my hair. Everything is calm and quiet, only a few people far below me up at this hour, no doubt heading for early morning shifts. An lone owl bids the night farewell with a deep coo. For a beat i stand here, taking in the tranquility of the world. I inhale deeply, greedy for the crisp air. On the exhale, i scream as loud as i possibly can. “Choi san is a sub!” The owl takes off, terrified. A guy i don’t know looks up at me, seemingly unsure if he should be concerned or just pissed off. He decides on the latter. “Shut the fuck up, it’s 7am!” he yells back. I care not. I have to speak my truth and the universe will listen.

ISAK YOU ARE A GOSH DARNED BONA FIDE POET ASKDJASDKJSDJKKJ THIS IS BEAUTIFUL CALL THE ME THE UNIVERSE BC I AM LISTENING

“I could help out more, you know. Move in, share the load. The laundry load.”

SCREAMING?????

YES!!!!!!!! (⁀ᗢ⁀)

share the load.

Ayyyy 😉

NO BUT YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH SELF-CONTROL IT TOOK ME NOT TO GO THERE IN-FIC ASKDJASDKJDSK BLESS YOU ISAK FOR GOING THERE FOR ME ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

asdkjasdjkdsajk really again thankyousomuch for taking the time for these reactions Isak ;; i was really excited abt this chapter, bc there has been so much build-up in how their dynamic works, and getting them to this point just felt like a huge pay-off for me personally ;; and it was just so so so lovely to get to experience it through your eyes asjdkasdkjkj your reblogs are always a hecken delight („ಡωಡ„)

whichever way [woosan x reader] pt11

pairing: woosan x f reader

rating: 18+

genre: smut, fluff, angst, neighbours au, FWB to QPR

ch. summary: San drops, but you and Wooyoung are here to catch him.

wc: 7.8k

ch. warnings for opening scene: dom drop, dirty talk, degradation kink & hair pulling (@ Wooyoung), dumbification (@ reader), pussy slap, anal & vaginal sex, angst, anxiety spiral abt hurting one’s partners

warnings for the rest of the chapter: hurt / comfort, sub San, soft dom duo Wooyoung & reader, somnophilia if you squint, sleepy morning sex, titty worship (@ San), hand / blowjob, orgasm denial, thigh riding, cum shot (chest @ San), cum eating / sharing, praise kink, San is called ‘good boy’

a/n: features a soft-bodied, aromantic reader who uses she/her pronouns. mention of stretch marks.

a/n²: barely proofread bc my brain is being a lil bratty bastard man abt editing

masterlist. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

“Can’t even fuck her right, can you Woo? Can’t do anything with that pussy without my help.”

Gently, San undoes the two handcuffs that bound each of Wooyoung’s wrists to yours. His eyes scan over Wooyoung’s skin for abrasions, but San struggles to pay his full care and attention to the task. His mind refuses to stay in the moment, instead rewinding the night’s events, over and over again like a broken tape-player. The images grow more distorted with every replay.

His muscles still burn from the force with which he’d rammed into Wooyoung from behind, who’d been on top of you. Every harsh slam of San’s hips had buried Wooyoung’s cock deeper into you, indirectly fucking you with his ruthless pace.

“You’re decent with that smart mouth, Woo, but we both know it’s my cock she likes better. Isn’t that so, baby?”

You had whined, too fucked out to answer.

“Aw look at her trying to spare your feelings. Sweet thing. Or maybe she’s just fucked too dumb to think. Any cock will do now, even yours.”

Had you really been too fucked out to answer? What if you had been too unwilling? Filled with guilt at the thought of picking one over the other — even if it was just for play, only to rile Wooyoung up.

San blinks, trying to get his vision focused. Sweat-matted hair clings to his forehead, unpleasantly sticky and prickling at his eyes. The fabric of his robe feels strangely scratchy against his skin, making it hard to concentrate while his thumbs press into your wrist, stimulating your blood-flow on pure auto-pilot.

“You like that, baby? Like it when I fuck you with Wooyoung’s cock? Much better than letting him fumble on his own. At least I know how to treat that tight cunt.”

Wooyoung had sobbed at the humiliation — they were the right kind of sobs, right? Wooyoung knows San didn’t mean it?

It had all felt good in the moment, but now doubt slithers into San’s memories, a dark chill creeping up his spine. Had he gone too far in degrading Wooyoung, crossing the line of cruel pleasure into simple cruelty? Had he made the wrong move by trying to rope you into his debasement of Wooyoung?

There’s a weird static in San’s ears. Vaguely he hears someone praising him, telling him he did so well; but the words can’t connect to him. They don’t fire off positive neurons in his brain, don’t bring the reassurance he so craves.

‘Did they really want it?’ a low insidious voice whispers to San instead. ‘What if they are just going along with what you pushed on them?’

San frowns. No; you and Wooyoung explicitly consented to all this beforehand. Neither of you are in the habit of neglecting your own safety in a misguided attempt to spare his feelings. You would have told him if anything felt bad. You are different from… from…

He shakes his head, trying to shake off the static. You and Wooyoung would have been honest, he stubbornly tells himself. That much he can trust on — right? Right? San’s frown deepens as he tries to look at you, his eyes shaky. You look so tired…

A cold void presses up against the inside of San’s ribcage, and he stiffens in sudden recognition, finally understanding what is happening to him.

No. Nonono. This can’t happen. Not right now. He can’t drop now. He has take care of you and Wooyoung first. You are his responsibility, not the other way around. It shouldn’t be the other way around. If he can’t even take care of his partners then—

“San? Are you okay?”

The question comes from far away. Again, he’s not sure who is asking it. San forces himself to smile. No, wait, he’s not smiling. Shit. Shit.

A beautiful soreness has settled in your body, lingering memories clinging to your muscles. You had a perfect view of the utter bliss stretched across Wooyoung’s face, tongue lolling out as San kept his head yanked back by the hair. Overwhelmed by San’s harsh pace and words, by fucking you while being fucked; yet always hungry for more, deliberately wiggling his ass when San told him to keep still, or shamelessly talking back at him.

You’re convinced that just the rough, haphazard thrusts of Wooyoung would have been enough to make you cum, more than enough when combined with the entrancing sight of him and San entangled; but it certainly didn’t hurt when San reached a hand around Wooyoung’s waist to thrum at your clit. He’d even smacked the oversensitive nub, with just enough force to send you straight into one of the most intense orgasms you’ve had in recent weeks.

You could happily stay submerged in those memories for hours to come, but the pleasant haze of the aftermath fades quickly when San massages your wrists — and you suddenly realise something is off.

He looks tired, which is not unusual after an intense session, but somehow it’s the wrong kind of tired. His eyes are unfocused, and although he’s taking perfect care of you, there is none of the usual warmth of his attentive glow. Like he is just going through the motions. San never just goes through the motions.

A dread sinks into your stomach as a grim suspicion flits through your mind.

“San? Are you okay?”

Wooyoung, who had been drinking some water, looks up before San even registers that you asked him something.

San’s brow furrows, the skin around his eyes tightening. He faintly shakes his head, and you can’t be sure if that’s meant to be an answer to your question or just an involuntary motion, but it’s an answer either way.

Your heart flinches.

“Woo?” you say, deliberately keeping your voice calm. San does not resist when you pull him into a back-hug, numbly letting himself get manoeuvred as you wrap your arms around him, holding him tightly against your chest. “I think San’s—”

“Yeah,” Wooyoung says, already by your side with a bottled electrolyte drink and an energy bar. “Hey, Sannie,” he murmurs gently, brushing San’s hair off his forehead. “What’s wrong? Too much today?”

San swallows thickly, looking strangely small in your arms. Tension pours out of his body — but it’s too fast, like he is emptying himself of everything, deflating in your embrace until only a hollow shell is left. There’s an odd, glassy shine to his eyes as he looks from you to Wooyoung.

“Are— are you okay?” San manages to ask weakly. “Are you hurt? Did— did I—?”

His uncertain voice pierces your chest, deep and sharp.

“No, we’re not hurt.” You plant a firm kiss on his limp shoulder, tightening your hold on him. “We’re fine, Sannie,” you murmur past the sudden lump in your throat, pressing another kiss on the side of his head. “No one is hurt, you made us feel so good.”

San lets out a pained whine, like he tries to shrink away from the positive affirmation.

“Hey, hey, listen,” Wooyoung says, gentle but firm, tipping up San’s chin so their eyes meet. “San, it was exactly what I wanted out of this. Are you hearing me? You did nothing we didn’t want.”

He is adamant in his reassurance, aimed at San’s deepest insecurity with pin-point precision, and San manages to take a deep breath.

“I— I hear you,” he says, giving a shaky nod.

Relief floods through you when Wooyoung’s words achieve what yours could not; along with a small twinge of something more complicated. You don’t linger on that twinge, centering your attention on San instead.

You help San to drink a few sips of water, and Wooyoung tears open the energy bar’s wrapper, breaking off a few bite-sized pieces.

Wooyoung keeps up his steady stream of reassurances, while you decide to focus on grounding San through physical touch. Better to let Wooyoung handle the talking on this one, clearly. One of your arms is wrapped securely around San’s narrow waist, freeing up your other hand to gently caress over the slight trembles running through his body.

You’ve never seen San go through dom drop this hard, this fast. He’s had to shake off a light funk, and you do vividly remember the one time San came by your place a whole day afterwards, a belated response to the scene. He’d been clingy and despondent, wanting to hold you and be held; and you had done exactly that, much like you are holding him now.

Together, you and Wooyoung weave a bright, warm protective bubble around San, nursing the bruises of his fall. His deflated spirit is slowly replenished with your caring attentions, helped along by the energy bar and electrolytes. Soon there is only a crumpled wrapper and an empty bottle left, but you and Wooyoung are still there.

Still protecting him from himself.

Finally San settles into your hold, eyes fluttering shut with a sigh when your nails gently scrape over his scalp.

“That’s it, rest up,” Wooyoung says with a soft smile and an even softer shine in his eyes. “We got you. Feeling a little better?”

San nods sluggishly, exhaustion radiating from his every pore as he sinks a little deeper into you.

Wooyoung chuckles as he watches San curl up against you, and rubs an affectionate hand over San’s thigh. “But not back completely, are you? Hmm, what do you need?” He taps his bottom lip in thought, the question more to himself than to San; then an idea brightens up his eyes. “How about I make you some proper food, get something warm in that stomach? Sound good?”

San makes a vaguely ‘yes’-shaped noise, tiredly smiling up at Wooyoung.

“Alright, then I’ll handle that, okay Sannie? Just means I got to step into the kitchen for a minute, but you won’t be alone.” Wooyoung’s eyes flicker up to you, giving you a quick wink. “I am leaving you in very capable hands. Give you two a chance to chat, hm?”

Before you even get the chance to offer whipping up a meal instead (after all, Wooyoung is the resident expert at helping San through a drop, not you), Wooyoung is on his feet and pulling on some clothes.

“I’ll leave the door open, alright? Just give a shout if you need me, I’ll be back like that,” he says, snapping his fingers. Wooyoung leans in to give San a last kiss on the cheek, sweet with a tint of playfulness, then steps away out of the bedroom.

It’s just you and San now.

You take in a deep breath and then release it, squeezing your arms a little tighter around San. “Look at you, getting a home-made meal out of this. Lucky guy,” you try to joke, poking his cheek.

San’s shoulders shake lightly with a quiet laugh. “Seriously, the lengths I have to go to to get fed properly around here,” he sighs, looking up at you with an exaggerated pout. But San can’t hold on to the lighthearted moment, his pout fading into a pained wince. “Sorry about all this. Never meant to cause trouble.”

“San, don’t you dare apologise!” you gently scold him. “We look after each other around here. What’d you do if it was me or Wooyoung?”

“…I’d look after you.”

“Yeah you would. You always do,” you press on. “And you wouldn’t let us call it ‘trouble’ either.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” San sighs, admitting defeat. “No apologies.”

But knowing he doesn’t have to be sorry, and actually not feeling sorry, are two very different beasts — and it’s pretty clear which one San’s dealing with. Something sharp pinches in your chest as you remember what San stammered out in distress.

“Are you hurt? Did— did I—?”

Is that still on his mind? Does he really think he could ever��?

“San, do you even—”

The words catch in your throat as you catch San’s eyes. They’re no longer hollowed out, but there is a vast ocean of emotion behind them — and San is in safe waters for now, but all it takes is one dangerous wave for him to be pulled under again.

You won’t let him. You won’t.

“San,” you say again, your voice steadier this time. It’s disquieting, how a man with such wide shoulders can look so small. “I always feel so safe with you, you know that?”

He nods, smiling faintly. “I know,” he says, but there is not enough conviction behind it to your liking.

“And do you also know,” you say with an exaggerated sigh, wrapping your legs around San’s waist, “how nervous I was when we had that first negotiation, back when we started this whole thing? It was just you and me, and I still felt so fucking embarrassed about barging in on you and Woo. I was this close to skipping town and starting my whole life over in a new country.”

San can’t help a chuckle. (You’re taking it as a victory.) “Knew you were nervous. Didn’t know it was that bad.”

“Oh yeah, it was that bad for sure,” you laugh breathily, patting San’s chest. “Only thing holding me back was that I couldn’t decide on a new identity. So many options!”

“What, that was the only thing?” San asks, and gives you a cheeky side-eye despite his exhaustion.

“Eh, maybe there was this pair of hotties that had something to do with it too,” you tease, dramatically rolling your eyes at San before you go serious again. “But that’s not the point. The point is… all of those nerves were gone by the time I walked out the door. Because of you.”

There is nothing cheeky about San’s gaze this time.

“You made me feel so at ease, like I could trust you with anything,” you say quietly, ignoring the prickle behind your eyes when San leans his head against your shoulder, nuzzling into you. “Like I’d always be safe with you, no matter what — and you’ve proven me right every damn day since then.”

A serene hush follows as San quietly takes hold of your words. He no longer looks adrift in the ocean, pulled along by a new current that carries him safely ashore.

It’s a comfortable silence — until a light mrrp comes from the doorway, announcing Byeol’s arrival.

“Hey look, reinforcements are here,” you joke while Byeol pads over to the foot of the bed. For a moment you only see the swish of her dark tail, then she hops onto the bed, sheets lightly scrunching underfoot as she makes a direct line towards San. A cat on a mission.

You untangle your legs from San’s waist to give Byeol a comfy spot to lie down in. San smiles softly as the Thai cat circles a few times in his lap, bumping her head against your hand before she settles in. Contently, she kneads biscuits into San’s robe, and starts purring loudly when he gently scritches at her exposed, fluffy tummy.

You sit like that for a while; with San patting Byeol while you idly run your fingers through his hair, like a little braid train of affection. It’s quiet, comfortable, minutes passing by unhurried until the silence is finally broken by San.

“…I think I’m alright now,” he says, his smile steady, and a shimmer in his eyes that isn’t underlined with distress. “Thanks. For being here.”

“Anytime, Sannie,” you say, resting your forehead against his temple. “Whatever you need, we got you.”

“Damn right we do,” a sudden voice says from the door opening.

You blink in surprise when you see Wooyoung leaned against the frame, watching you and San. He is slightly obscured by shadows in the dimmed bedroom, but his smile shines through brightly; how long has he been standing there?

“I always feel so safe with you, you know that?”

Wooyoung hadn’t meant to listen in. He’d just sidled up to the bedroom with Byeol in his arms, thinking to provide San some extra company. Then he caught a wisp of conversation, and thought it’d be better to hang back for a minute.

‘Hanging back’ isn’t usually Wooyoung’s style — and neither is leaving San’s side after a dom drop. But today, it just seemed like the right move. For San, and for you.

After all, Wooyoung hadn’t missed how quiet you went after San dropped.

It’s not that you weren’t taking good care of San; Wooyoung also hadn’t missed how you held onto him so tight he couldn’t slip out of reach if he tried. Soothing touches to keep San grounded in the room so he could hear the words Wooyoung was saying to him.

But San needed words from you too.

Wooyoung still isn’t sure why you took a backseat and let him take the lead; maybe you were shaken by seeing San like this — or maybe you were worried about saying the wrong thing? Well, Wooyoung definitely hadn’t worried about that. You’d find the words to say.

Now he quietly listens in as the words come to you, just like he’d known, with a dismantling sincerity against which San’s darker thoughts don’t stand a damn chance.

“—and you’ve proven me right every damn day since then.”

Wooyoung grins, giving himself a mental pat on the back for making the right call. He lowers Byeol to the ground and ushers her into the bedroom, then decides to give you and San just a moment longer.

He heads back into the kitchen to grab the little bowl of food he whipped up. Nothing grand or fancy, just some stir-fried kimchi with leftover rice, a quick fried egg on top.

Then Wooyoung finally slips inside the bedroom. He pauses at what he sees inside.

Fuck, he wishes he was holding a camera.

Something about the homely sight of you and San cuddled up with Byeol just looks… right.

San pats the Byeol with a calm, pensive expression. If Wooyoung knows anything about San, his mind is still lingering on the freshly imbued assurance from you and Wooyoung; that you never feel anything but safe and cared for with him. Gently he prods at the bauble of knowledge in his head, to make sure it doesn’t slip out of his grasp again.

It won’t — your hold on him is too secure for that.

You are sweetly playing with San’s hair, the strength of your devotion plainly written all over your face in bold all-caps letters. Wooyoung knows your affection for them is not romantically inclined, but god it’s so obvious that you care. You care so deeply.

As for the nature of his own inclinations, Wooyoung tries to not examine those too closely. It’s not like ‘conformity’ has defined a lot of his past relationships anyway. As far as he’s concerned, it’s more important how he acts on his wants and feelings, than how he labels them. And watching you and San together? He can hardly complain about how the three of you are acting on things now.

An unbidden smile curves around his lips at the soft intimacy on display, his stomach clenching oddly.

(It’s not jealousy, he tells himself.)

(Well. Maybe a little bit of jealousy, he quickly amends. Wooyoung is never one to pretend he does not want to be wanted.)

“…I think I’m alright now,” San says, and Wooyoung doesn’t realise he’d been lost in a daze until the words shake him out of it. “Thanks. For being here.”

“Anytime, Sannie,” you assure him, and Wooyoung warms at your smile. “Whatever you need, we got you.”

Ah, that seems like just the right opening. “Damn right we do,” Wooyoung says with a grin. “Got you some food, San. Want to come out, or eat it here?”

San perks up when he sees the bowl of food, but has no desire to get out of the bed yet; so you and San free up space for Wooyoung to join you instead. (His flinch of jealousy relaxes at this proof of want.)

Byeol is the only one who makes complaints, miffed at being ignored by San over a hot meal. But she is easily mollified when Wooyoung lifts her from San’s lap into his own, where his attentions soon have her purring contently again.

San makes an appreciative noise as he digs into the simple meal, his face scrunching up with every mouthful of food. While he empties out the bowl, you and Wooyoung catch each others’ eyes, exchanging a satisfied nod. San is alright now.

After the food is gone, San decides to take a cold shower, just for good measure to snap himself fully out of it. Wooyoung takes this opportunity to change the sheets, so he and San get to sleep with fresh linen tonight. You watch him with Byeol in your arms, taking your turn as kitty-custodian very seriously.

“Not gonna help me out here?” Wooyoung asks, giving you a massive side-eye just to be dramatic.

“I’m busy!” you counter, slightly raising Byeol up. “Hey, um.”

“Um?”

“I want to stay over tonight. Sleep here. If that’s alright with you and San.”

Wooyoung blinks at you in surprise, but quickly breaks out in a wide smile. That was about the last thing he expected you to say. “Yeah, of course!”

And so San and Wooyoung happily welcomed you into their bed — and not for a tumble between the sheets, for once.

It’s been a while since you last slept in the same bed with someone, let alone two someone’s, one of whom had pulled you into his firm chest, arms wrapped around you. (Bare arms. You had picked up some sleep clothes from home and Wooyoung has a comfy flannel pyjama set, but San apparently can’t sleep unless he’s wearing nothing but a pair of fitted boxers.)

You weren’t shocked to discover that San is a cuddler in bed; he’s prone to clinginess during the day, why would it be any different at night?

Tragically, the men’s company did not by some strange magic make this the best sleep you’ve had in years. As familiar as San’s bedroom is to you, as familiar as you are with the feel and scent of his and Wooyoung’s presence, you’re so unused to sharing your bedspace that instead of falling sound asleep, you drift in-and-out of a restless slumber.

No, you aren’t exactly convinced to make a regular habit out of this ‘staying overnight’ thing, but… for now? You really don’t care about any of that.

You’re not sure when you made the decision to sleep over; maybe it was two seconds before telling Wooyoung, maybe two seconds after you realised San was in trouble. You just know you want to be right next to San in the morning, so you can see with your own eyes if he is okay or if he needs anything. Your protective instinct is too strong to be thwarted by some mild discomfort.

The night passes, and finally you drift back into full consciousness with a faint beam of sunlight shining through a narrow slit in San’s blackout curtains. Shaking off your slumber, you faintly register that your face is pressed against two comfortable, firm pillows.

Ah wait. No. Not pillows.

San’s chest.

Well, same difference, really.

Somehow you’re more deeply entangled than you started out the night; San clings tightly onto you with a leg slung over your waist, and you can feel Wooyoung’s arms snaked around him in turn. There is a light pout on San’s face and he snores softly, his breath falling against the top of your head — which could have been endearing, if your mind hadn’t just cleared up enough to identify an out-of-place hardness pressed against your stomach.

Oh.

You hadn’t thought this far ahead, last night, but… yeah, makes sense.

Groggily you try to slip out of San’s arms without waking him, but you freeze up when he shifts and babbles something incoherent. His hold tightens on pure instinct; San is still knocked out in deep sleep.

For a moment you are caught in indecision, unsure what to do.

You’ve grown comfortable in your routines in this dynamic, but this lies outside those usual patterns. An old unease cranes its neck up at the break in routine; the worry that you trespassing on their relationship in a space that is not for you — but you firmly slap back those out-dated insecurities.

The reason why you’ve never been in this situation before is because of your boundaries, not theirs.

“Hey, are you getting up already?” a hoarse voice whispers from behind San when you shift to try and find a position where his dick doesn’t poke you right in the stomach. Wooyoung lifts his head, bleary dark eyes peeking up from above San’s slumbering figure. “We can sleep in, there’s no rush.”

“Not in a rush,” you whisper back. “San is just— um—”

“Ah.”

Judging by Wooyoung’s quick understanding, this must be a pretty common situation. His hand wanders down to brush over the crotch of San’s boxers, who sighs a moan even at the faint contact.

(The moan makes a compelling argument on why you might stay overnight more often after all.)

“So… the way I see it, we got two options,” Wooyoung murmurs, his voice thick with leftover sleep. “Either we rescue you from mister cuddle-monster’s grapple, or… we could wake Sannie up, see if he wants any help with that.”

His hand rests on San’s lower abdomen, not moving while he waits for your response.

You bite your lip, definitely not averse to lending San a hand, so to speak. “He’d be okay with that? With me too?”

“Only one way to find out,” Wooyoung says, giving you a languid grin, “but… let’s just say I have it on good authority that San will probably be more than okay.”

“‘Good authority’, huh?” you say, and a faint heat creeps under your skin at the implication they talked about this very scenario, about you. By now you’d think that they lost some of their ability to fluster you, but no, you don’t think you’ll ever build up a full immunity to the impact of San and Wooyoung. (You can’t really bring yourself to mind.) “Then… yeah.”

Wooyoung presses a kiss on the solid muscles of San’s shoulder, waking him with a few gentle nips of teeth.

“Nmhn, ‘Youngie?” San’s eyes flutter open, groggy and disoriented, but his confusion melts into a soft smile when he realises who he’s holding in his arms. “Hey. Good morning.”

“Good morning yourself,” you whisper. Even with everyone awake, somehow it still feels wrong to raise your voice too high in the darkened bedroom, with the faint chirrups of birds outside. “How’re you doing?”

San lets out a tired groan, shifting to stretch some of the sleep out of his body. But it’s not an unhappy groan, a distinctly feline curve to the edges of his smile. He turns his head to nuzzle at Wooyoung, while simultaneously pulling you back closer into him.

You can see the exact moment on San’s face where he wakes up enough to realise he’s pulled you right back against his half-hard boner.

“Shit, sorry—” he begins to stammer, but you gently shush him, pressing a finger to his lips.

“It’s okay, Sannie,” you assure him. “Seriously, it’s fine.”

(There is something weirdly adorable about a guy being so self-conscious about his morning wood when he’s had his dick inside your body’s horny trinity of holes more times than you care to count.)

“Actually,” Wooyoung chimes in, planting another kiss on San’s shoulder, “we were thinking…” His lips trail up San’s neck. “…how about we take care of that for you, hm?”

San draws in a shaky breath as Wooyoung palms his cock, putting light pressure on the crotch of his boxers. “Y-you already took care of me yesterday,” he protests, weakly. “You don’t have to—”

“We want to, San,” you say. “This isn’t out of obligation or anything.” You press a gentle kiss on his chest, then glance up to him. “So… what do you want?”

He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in the dim light. “Yeah,” San says quietly. “Want to be taken care of.”

That’s all Wooyoung needs to hear.

San lets out a shuddery sigh, mouth falling slack as Wooyoung starts moving his hand with slow, languid strokes.

For a moment you just watch them, savouring the sight of San, the biggest people pleaser you know, being pleased by Wooyoung. You always cherish these times, when the roles reverse and San lets himself go, lets go of responsibility and control. Reciprocating the trust you and Wooyoung always put in him.

“How’s that, Sannie?” Wooyoung asks, and there is also something equally worth savouring about the sight of him like this, doting and attentive to the person who so often attends to his every need. Wooyoung is greedy in bed, never shy about his many wants — but he is equally generous, giving all of himself to his partners.

“Hm, ‘s good…” San mumbles, wiggling lazily into Wooyoung’s chest.

You can’t keep your eyes off them, completely entranced by how San’s breaths slowly get heavier, soft moans blending into his exhales. His head lolls back against Wooyoung’s shoulder with a whine, exposing the tantalising column of his neck to you.

The magnetic pull of San’s bared throat is too strong to resist, the scattering of freckles there begging to be kissed.

San shudders as your lips gently press against the prominent mole just under his jaw. You take great care to lavish every speck on his star-clustered skin with attention, where you can feel his moans reverberate against your mouth.

Everything starts to melt together in the morning daze, bodies half-covered under the sheets as San rolls his hips into Wooyoung’s hand, gasping when you suck another kiss into his freckled neck. He holds your onto waist, more to steady himself than anything else, but his fingers dig in a little harder when you slowly move down to his chest.

San’s whines grow louder as your teeth graze against his nipple, flicking it with small kitten licks until you start to suck in earnest. His firm tits provide you with generous handfuls of meaty muscle, tensing under your palms as your hands squeeze at him.

Sometimes you’d almost forget just how incredibly sensitive San is, a fact often obscured by his complete control in the bedroom. Even the lightest touches are capable of driving him up the wall, and soon he’s writhing between you and Wooyoung, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

“Such a good boy you are for us,” Wooyoung coos at San, teasing him with a good-natured grin. “Want me to edge you? Would you like that, Sannie?”

San turns his head to look at Wooyoung; there’s a wet gleam in his eyes, but he nods eagerly. “Want it, yeah.”

Wooyoung lifts his hand up to his mouth, doing his best to be covert as he spits into his palm, like he does not want to disturb the softness of the moment with something as crude as a little extra lubrication. He then reaches back under the covers — where San sucks in a sharp breath as Wooyoung slides his hand underneath the waistband of San’s boxers.

San groans, unable to stay still with two pairs of hands roaming over his body, and two mouths exploring just as eagerly. Wooyoung has replaced your lips on San’s neck, mouthing at a reddened mark you left earlier, while you suck a wet trail between his pecs.

San mewls when you thumb at his nipples, giving them a light pinch. His body jerks, but there is still a clear purpose to the way he shifts one leg forward, pressing his thigh against your clothed crotch.

It’s an unmistakable invitation, one that you are keen to accept.

You slowly start to grind on San’s thick thigh, the double fabric layer of your panties and sleep shorts dragging against your clit. It’s little more but a light burn, not enough to get you off, but you appreciate it all the same.

“So sweet, our Sannie,” you giggle. (For real, the biggest people pleaser you know.) “We are supposed to take care of you, remember?”

He whines in protest, pressing his thigh harder into your cunt while simultaneously pushing his ass back against Wooyoung. Another obvious invitation.

“Aw, he just can’t help himself, can you San?” Wooyoung rasps with a wicked smile. “He likes to pretend he’s a big ol’ meanie, but he just doesn’t know what to do with himself if he’s not making us feel good.”

San whines again, in agreement this time, squirming between you and Wooyoung.

“Already making me feel so good,” you sigh, softly kissing San’s flushed sternum. “Just feel that, all from getting to take care of you.”

You pry his hand from your waist, pushing it down your shorts and panties to let him swipe at the wetness clinging to your folds. He groans throatily and immediately tries to hone in on your clit — but you tsk and yank him back.

“Nuh-uh, Sannie,” you chide him gently. “That’s not how things work today. Just be here with us, that’s all we need you to do.”

“Th-then— wanna feel— ngh p-please, wanna—” San’s voice is choked up, his touch clumsy as he hooks his thumb underneath the waistbands of your clothes and tries to tug them down. “F-fuck, please—”

His desperation sears hotly through you, refusing to be denied. You shimmy out of your clothes and kick them off, now naked from the bottom down. The motion drags the covers further downward — and now you can actually see the obscene bulge in San’s boxers as Wooyoung jerks him off, the outline of his fist moving at a steady pace.

San’s breath hitches with every stroke, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears. Still babbling pleas at you, his hands kneading at your sides as he shoves his thigh back between yours. He glances at Wooyoung too, arching his back in a not-subtle reminder of what he needs.

“Shh, don’t move, Sannie,” you shush him, running a hand through his mussed up hair. “Just let us use you, that’s all you have to do.”

“Do it, please, do it, hmgh, wanna feel you make a mess on me, wanna be good…” A thick tear escapes San’s lashes, streaking down his puffy cheek.

“Aw, so polite for such a dirty boy,” Wooyoung teases fondly. There is nothing but pure adoration in his eyes as he lightly rolls his hips forward. “Asking us so nicely to cum all over you. Who could ever say no to that, hm?”

You certainly couldn’t. And so you lift your leg just enough for San’s thigh to slide neatly in-between, allowing him to feel the wet heat of your cunt right against the beefy muscle.

San bites his lip to try (and fail) to stifle a high-pitched whine as your arousal smears over him with every drag of your hips. He groans petulantly when Wooyoung stops stroking him, but it’s only so Wooyoung can take off his own pyjama pants, and tugs down San’s boxers just enough for his cock to smack wetly against his stomach.

Then Wooyoung’s fingers are wrapped around San’s thick length again and his eyes flutter shut, face contorting in pleasure as he struggles to keep still between the two bodies rutting against him. Wooyoung breathes heavily, moving his hand faster as he grinds into San’s backside.

“That’s it, Sannie, just a little more,” Wooyoung says, his voice tightly wound. “You’re getting close, aren’t you?”

“Mhm, y-yeah.” San is rapidly losing his restraint, his trimmed nails digging into the soft flesh of your waist, fingers slotted over your stretch marks. Whiny moans stumble off his lips in freefall, his thigh clenching under your clit as heady arousal fills the early morning air.

Earlier, you didn’t think you were going to cum. You’re not even really trying now, despite San’s request; too focused on your worship of his body. Languidly, you rub your clit against his flexing muscle, so distracted by teasing his nipples and sucking at the swell of his cleavage that you fail to realise how close you are getting yourself. The coiling pressure creeps up on you — but like a gear locking into place, you stumble on just the right angle and you’re so drunk on pleasing San and he’s whimpering and heat lances through your cunt and oh god—

Right as you are tipping over, Wooyoung takes his hand off San’s cock, denying him the very rush that is flooding your senses. You spasm against San, his choked up sob feeding into your pleasure as fresh slick leaks onto his leg. The slide against his glistening thigh is so easy by now, and you breathlessly ride out your high in the company of San’s snivelled whines.

“Where do you want me, Sannie?” Wooyoung asks with hard, raspy gasps, not far off from his own release. “Here? On your tits? Mouth?”

San makes a strangled noise, shaking his head like he’s embarrassed to say it out loud, but eventually stammers, “T-tits.”

Immediately, Wooyoung pushes San onto his back and straddles his thighs — one glossy with your slick. A thin, bright beam of sunlight falls right across San’s face and chest, highlighting the beautiful flush of skin, beads of sweat gathering on his brow and sternum. There are tear-streaks on his face, and a wet smear on his stomach where the tip of his cock rests, oozing pre-cum.

With Wooyoung snugly sitting in his lap, letting out rapid, pitched breaths as he jerks himself off with purposeful strokes, San’s instincts to be helpful bubble up again. He reaches to touch Wooyoung — but you quickly intervene, pinning San’s wrists above his head. It’s startlingly effective; San instantly goes lax under your hold. He melts into the bed with a shuddered breath, like the thought of pushing back does not even occur to him.

(A good thing, because there’s no doubt on your mind that San could easily break free. Eyeing the width of his biceps, you swear he must’ve been spending more time at the gym lately.)

“Keep those hands right where they are, mister,” you order playfully, grinning at San. “No touching.”

San sulks at you, but the gleam in his eyes gives him away. He’s clearly eating this whole thing up; half turned on and half amused by how you and Wooyoung have taken control. “Fine,” he pouts cutely. “I’ll behave.”

“Good boy,” you purr, immediately testing San’s obedience by releasing his wrists to wrap your hand around his cock. San hisses in sensitivity as you tease your thumb at the leaking slit, but he stays in place as ordered.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Wooyoung groans, drawing your attention back to him.

Like you, Wooyoung is only naked from the waist down. It looks a little silly, a little cute; domesticity dripping off him with his flannel pyjama top and sleep-mussed hair — all while he works himself up to a quick orgasm with the lewd squelches of his fist pumping his dick. Wooyoung bites his lip as he stares down at San, lying utterly pliant beneath him and just taking what you’re willing to give.

And what you give, is enough to get San whiny and squirming again, fighting not to buck into your hand; but not enough to let him cum before Wooyoung does.

Thankfully for him, Wooyoung does not need much longer.

Wooyoung leans forward, steadying himself with a hand on San’s hip. His breath comes out in sharp gasps, dark eyes transfixed on San’s heaving chest and the light bruises you’ve left scattered all over him. “S-so fucking good for us, Sannie,” he moans, a crack in his voice. “Ah, ‘m gonna— ah, fuck, ahh—”

His hips stutter as he grunts, nails digging into San’s waist to keep himself from doubling over as he shoots messy ropes of cum over San’s chest. Some reaching all the way up his neck, adding their white glisten to San’s flushed, sweaty skin. He hisses a curse that transforms into a low moan when you eagerly lap up a rivulet between his pecs, then follow a trail to his nipple.

Wooyoung pants heavily, his dark hair sticking to his face as he catches his breath. “Shit, you two…” he groans, watching how you leisurely mouth at San’s fevered skin, your hand still keeping a steady pace. “How about it, baby, shall we let Sannie have his turn now?”

San bites down a whimper, his back arching as his fingers dig into the mattress.

You hum in agreement and move your hand a little quicker. In contrast, you slowly work your way up San’s neck, pressing a few light kisses up his chin until you reach the corner of his mouth.

San knows exactly what you are offering him — and he greedily accepts, tilting his head to meet your lips full-on. He groans as you suck his tongue into your mouth, sharing his seed between you. The combination of cum and faint morning breath is not the most pleasant, but kissing San is always sweet regardless of taste.

Meanwhile, Wooyoung lends a helping hand (or rather, a mouth) by sliding down the bed and wrap his lips around San’s cockhead. He works his jaw with thick sweeps of his tongue, just tending to the tip while you handle the rest of San’s thick length.

You consume his every muffled curse, every strangled whine, until San is trembling, so lost in pleasure he no longer has the presence of mind to respond to your kiss. You suckle on his bottom lip and reach your hand further down to cup San’s balls and squeeze gently, unable to help a moan of your own when San lets out a broken sob at the touch.

“W-Woo— Wooyoung— I-I— Fuck—”

San tries to warn him — which Wooyoung only takes as an invitation to sink further down on his cock, throat bobbing as he swallows greedily.

Together you ease San through it, hands rubbing over his shivering body as he whines and convulses, bucking up into Wooyoung’s mouth, until all tension melts away. San relaxes into the bed, rendered boneless as he catches his breath. There is a dopey, tired smile on San’s face, and finally he reaches for you and Wooyoung, pulling you into his broad chest as he slowly recovers, perfectly content.

This time, it’s you who is changing the sheets.

“So, how was it? Sleeping over?” San asks when he walks back into the bedroom after freshening up. He looks none the worse for wear after yesterday’s ordeal, a renewed lightness to his shoulders as he towels off his damp hair.

You chuckle sheepishly. “Honestly? The sleeping part was kind of terrible,” you admit. “Nothing personal! Just not great with sharing blankets. But the waking up… Yeah, the waking up part was pretty damn amazing. And that is personal.”

“Knew it. You hear that Sannie? She’s only using us for sex,” Wooyoung jokes, pinching your side as he walks past behind you to grab his phone from the nightstand.

“Don’t think so lowly of yourself, Woo,” you huff. “I also use you for your cooking.”

“What about me?” San asks, giving you a playful pout. “Just sex then?”

You finish yanking off the sheets and gather it together into a bundle, then stand up straight, tapping your lip in thought. “Hmm…” you say, giving San a scrutinising look-over. “Hugs. You give good hugs.”

San brightens like the sun breaking through cloudcover, delighted at your ‘use’ for him. He immediately ambushes you from behind, arms wrapping tightly around your waist as he rubs his chin against your shoulder.

“Aish! Seriously?” Wooyoung complaints, and you yelp when he pinches your side a little harder this time around.

“You started it, you idiot,” you laugh, gently untangling yourself from San. You hand him the bundle of sheets, dirtied with sweat and slick, and grab a fresh set.

San sulks at the bed linen in his arms. “Can’t believe we had to change to change sheets again,” he grouses. “I have so much more laundry with you two around, it’s ridiculous.”

Wooyoung just snorts. “What are you talking about? Don’t try to put this on us, you’re the one who doesn’t believe in laying down a towel.”

“Don’t like the feel of them,” San mumbles through pursed lips. “Besides, those dang things always seem to shift out of place at the worst moment anyway. What’s the point, except even more laundry?”

You shake your head at his complaints, but it’s pure affection. Meanwhile, Wooyoung sidles up behind San and takes his turn hugging him. “I could help out more, you know. Move in, share the load. The laundry load.”

San blinks in surprise, turning his head to look at Wooyoung, while you look up curiously, pausing your task of wrangling sheets around the corner of the mattress. Is Wooyoung serious, or is this just his usual messing around?

But judging by his calm expression, Wooyoung is one hundred percent serious. He sways back and forth on the balls of his feet, rocking San in his hug — but his eyes are completely focused, watching for San’s reaction.

“I mean… you practically live here already,” San says, reaching back his arms to hold onto Wooyoung’s hips, steady him a little. “We’d just be making it official, right?”

“Yeah! That’s what I wanna do, make it official,” Wooyoung says, then catches you off-guard by turning to you. “How about it? How do you feel about getting me as your official neighbour?”

You let out an abashed laugh, already self-conscious to be in the room for this conversation between them, let alone involved. “Why are you asking me? I’m not the one you’re moving in with!”

Wooyoung shrugs. “Just felt right to check in,” he says, so matter-of-factly that the lump of awkwardness in your chest softens. He’s not treating your input on the matter like a laugh; and for a moment, you find yourself at a loss for how to respond. To be considered in a big life choice like this — a relationship choice — is not something that’s ever happened to you before.

A jumble of feelings bounces around in your chest; but they’re led at the helm by happiness, and a wide, giddy smile has curved around your lips before you even realise it’s happening.

Warmth bursts through your veins as you nod at San and Wooyoung, who’re both smiling back at you. “Yeah,” you say, feeling oddly shy. “I’d love to have you here, officially. Welcome home, Woo.”

#whiway

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slasherhaven · 4 years ago

Note

what about,,,, the slashers reactions to getting properly hugged,,,, like no words, just pure affection and support,, like im here for u its okay to be vulnerable w/ me,,, if you didn't do it already obviously!!

The Slashers’ reacting to being properly hugged:

Thomas Hewitt

This man needs a hug! But he won’t feel comfortable initiating physical affection until you’re in a relationship and he knows for sure that you’re comfortable with it. Then, he’s vert affectionate.

This means that he needs affection but isn’t going to ask for it.

But you knew this because you knew him. So, you sighed before wrapping your arms around his waist, resting your head against his chest.

You just wanted to offer him some love and support, to let him know that you are there for him if he needs you.

Thomas was surprised by he absolutely melts and he certainly isn’t going to push you away.

He’ll wrap his arms around you, holding you securely but not too tightly against him.

He won’t pull away until you do.

If it happens when he’s more comfortable and confident in your relationship, he will lift you up and move to somewhere he can sit down, he’s probably been working all day and is tired. So, he can just hold you like his own teddy bear. Not that you mind at all.

He could just cry the longer you embrace him. He didn’t even realise how much he needed this until now. But now he’s going to need at least a hug a day, please just make this man feel loved and cared for!

Michael Myers

Michael, of course, hadn’t done anything to prompt your sudden act of affection. But you knew that he was a little more human that people tended to assume, and that meant that he needed affection too, he would just never ask for it.

So, you wrapped your arms around his waist and held yourself close to him. Holding yourself against his chest, you couldn’t get closer if you tried.

Your eyes were scrunched shut, unsure of how he would react to the embrace.

He did give you a small push away but you just tightened your hold. You just needed him to know how you felt, that you were there for him, and you hoped he understood what the gesture meant.

Michael isn’t likely to wrap his arms back around you but his mind is a mess (a rare thing for him) as he allowed you to hug him, his arms still by his sides.

He does understand your message...he’s just unsure of what to do with it.

Jason Voorhees

It doesn’t take you long to figure out that Jason needs a real good hug. He needs somebody to accept him, to love him, to be kind to him.

And what better way to tell him all of these things than a proper hug?

It’s when he comes back to the cabin, and you know what he’s been doing and you know that he doesn’t feel great about it, more because he feels like he’s dragged you into this.

You let him clean up and as soon as he enters the room you’re in again, you walked up to him and wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a silent hug.

You didn’t need words, you didn’t need to say anything. You hoped he would understand what you’re telling him. He did.

Your embrace caught him by surprise but he still carefully wrapped his arms around you, still so worried about hurting you.

The gesture was exactly what he needed in that moment, something that just reminded him of your love and acceptance.

He won’t pull away until you do, the two of you just standing in the middle of the room in an embrace. There is nowhere he would rather be.

Brahms Heelshire

This is exactly what he needs! And he knows that this is what he needs.

Ever since the two of you started knowingly living together, all he’s wanted is for you to show him genuine affection, more than a chaste kiss goodnight.

He wants you to love him and show him that love, he wants you to care for him and hold him.

You had just noticed that he seemed stressed lately, which is actually because he wants your attention but he attempting to be a gentleman about it, not pushing you too far too fast.

But you knew what he wanted, what he needed. So, you have it to him.

You had patted the seat beside you and, of course, he was quick to sit with you.

He just wasn’t expecting you to silently wrap your arms around him, pulling him into an embrace.

Brahms isn’t going to pass up the opportunity though! He will instantly wrap his arms around you even tighter that yours were, making himself comfortable.

Will bury his face into the crook of your neck or into your hair, unable to get too close to you. And don’t think you’re going anywhere anytime soon.

He always knew that he wanted/needed your affection, he just was aware of how much a simple hug would mean to him. You were the only person to accept him in so long, maybe you really would love him just like he needed.

Bo Sinclair

This man needs a proper hug (or any sort of affection) way more than he would ever let on, or even think he does.

When you first embrace him, arms wrapped securely around his waist, he faltered for a moment.

He’d probably pat you on the back or something before trying to pull away or push you away, assuming you just wanted a hug.

But you didn’t let go. So, he’s sigh and wrap his arms around you, expecting that to satisfy you.

But you still don’t let go...

The longer you hold on to him, the less he can pretend that he’s annoyed with it, the less he can pretend like he isn’t enjoying this.

For a moment he actually lets his walls down, tightening his hold slightly and resting his chin on top of your head, making you smile to yourself.

He’ll even close his eyes and just let it happen. Unless one of his brothers comes into the room, then he’s pushing you away, clearing his throat and pretending none of that happened. But you know.

Vincent Sinclair

It’s been a long day. Bo was in a bad mood and taking it out on him. You could see the draining effect it had on Vincent and you knew exactly what he needed, some love.

So, once the two of you were alone and you knew that you wouldn’t be disturbed, at least for a little while, you wrapped your arms around Vincent and just met him in a hug.

Vincent returned the embrace despite his surprise, never being one to refuse you, especially when it came to affection.

He had expected a quick hug but you just stayed put, your embrace making him feel warm in the best kind of way.

He isn’t going to argue with it, resting his masked cheek against the top of your head.

He’ll probably lose track of time, staying there like that for as long as you��d let him.

It’s like Bo had beat him down with his shouting and ranting, but you were building him right back up with your love and support.

Lester Sinclair

Lester had just returned home from visiting his brothers in town, and you know that he either had a pretty good time or it would have been pretty rough. They’re the usual two outcomes of his visits.

Apparently, this was a rough one. You could tell from the sigh he let out as he shut the door behind him.

You didn’t hesitate, walking up to him and wrapping your arms around him, quickly pulling him into a loving embrace.

He didn’t hesitate either, instantly wrapping his arms around you in return and burying his face in your hair.

He loves coming home to you but he loves this even more. You holding him like this, making him feel so welcome and loved, he would never get tired of this feeling.

After so long, will probably ask if the two of you could just cuddle on the couch for a while instead. Standing wasn’t very comfortable but he wasn’t ready to let go of you just yet.

Bubba Sawyer

Bubba is never ever going to turn down one of your hugs.

So when the two of you finally get some peace and quiet and you pull him into a loving embrace, he instantly lets out various happy babbles as he wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him.

He’ll happily stand there for as long as you let him, just holding you. But he would prefer to sit down with you, so I suggest guiding him over to the bed or a seat and then pulling him into a hug.

He just loves you so much and can’t get enough of your love.

Just something as simple as a hug makes Bubba melt, just the love and attention you are giving him.

Making him feel so close to you, like you’re right there for each other because you are.

Billy Lenz

As soon as you guide him into a hug (guide, don’t pull), he will latch onto you and refuse to let you go.

God, when was the last time he had a hug? And he’s never had one this good!

It does make him a little emotional. You’re not letting go of him but he doesn’t feel trapped, he doesn’t want you to let him go. In your embrace he feels so supported, so accepted, so loved. He can’t get enough!

He didn’t think he needed this so much, he never thought that something as simple as a hug could make him feel so good.

He’ll nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, mumbling so quietly that you can’t understand what he’s saying. But, just know, that for once it’s not anything lewd.

An extended hug isn’t enough though. The two of you are probably going to end up cuddling on the couch or bed for a little while afterwards.

Just hold him...please.

Asa Emory (The Collector)

You have to catch him by surprise and that is very difficult to do. Just when he isn’t expecting it.

Maybe he’s just come back from the hotel, expecting you to be asleep.

But as he’s quietly undressing to join you in bed, you get up without him hearing and pad over to him.

You wrap your arms from him from behind. He’ll let out a small sigh, asking why you’re awake, but you just shrug and tell him you’re glad he’s home.

He’ll turn around and wrap his arms around you but is a little confused when you don’t pull away. At first he thinks you might be upset about something but that isn’t the case...whatever it is, he’s got nothing else to do.

So he’ll hold you for a little while, slowly coming to terms with how nice this actually feels.

But you both need some sleep, so he’ll mumble something about going to bed. And if you don’t comply, he’ll just pick you up and carry you over to the bed anyway.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)

He’s just come back from a ‘business trip’, he always comes back in a good mood from this sort of thing but he tired from travelling.

You had greeted him at the door but saw it on him, he was tired.

So you just wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him, hadn’t even thought anything of it at the time.

The embrace was tight, a welcome home but also some reassurance that everything was alright and he was home now.

He wouldn’t turn down a hug, so he wrapped his arms around you, a hand holding the back of your head as if cradling you to his chest.

When you don’t pull away, neither does he.

He loves what he does and if glad you accept him for it. But the travelling can be tiring and he does find himself missing you.

So he lets out a silent sigh before lifting you up into his arms, making you smile as he carries you up to the bedroom. It’s good to be home. He might have to start taking you with him.

Otis Driftwood

Get him when he’s tired. It’s the best chance you have for a hug to just stay a hug, and for him to accept it without fight or question.

When he’s tired and alone in his room, join him. Crawl up beside him, wrap your arms around him and just hug him.

He’ll raise an eyebrow at you, confused and curious, but he’s not going to stop you.

When he’s tired like this, he’s more likely to let those softer, human, emotions show.

He’ll wrap an arm around you and hold you against him.

But the longer you just stay there, the more he relaxes and starts to make himself more comfortable.

You make him relax, and he may never understand why.

Don’t comment on it when he lets out a sigh, wrapping his other arm around you as well as he shifts, nuzzling his face into your hair. Don’t comment on it, just smile and let it happen.

Baby Firefly

You’re pretty sure Baby never stops, almost constantly upbeat and full of energy.

So if you were to hug her, she would just eagerly hug you back, smiling widely before slipping from your grasp to drag you away somewhere.

Get her when she’s angry with another member of the family, when she’s pouting or ranting about them.

Just pull her into a loving embrace. She’ll continue to complain but will still return your hug.

She’ll slowly calm down and relax in your hold, her embrace becoming secure but soft, affectionate.

You have a good effect on her, she just can’t be mad when you’re around and she knows it.

She isn’t quick to break the embrace now, just holding you makes her feel better so that’s what she’s going to do.

Yautja (Predator)

Probably the only one in this list who doesn’t need a hug in some way or another.

But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t enjoy it! He definitely does!

At first he’s a little taken back when you wrap your arms around him, head resting against his torso.

But he certainly isn’t opposed to this.

He’ll return your embrace, even starting to purr, which is always a good sign. He’ll probably start to stroke your hair as well.

Now that he’s gotten a taste of the affection that humans likes to give ad receive, he doesn’t think he could ever go back to how things used to be for him.

What would he do without all your little kisses, your hugs, your gentle touches. He couldn’t be without them now!

3K notes · View notes

hansolmates · 4 years ago

Text

here comes the bride, all dressed in pride

summary; You and your cousin Doyeon have had beef with each other since the sandbox. When she plucks the last straw, you decide to end your long-simmering fight by claiming that you and her ex—Jeon Jungkook, are now boyfriend and girlfriend pairing; jungkook x reader (f) genre/warnings; fake dating!au, fluff, crack, mentions of cheating, lang, alcohol, mc eats meat, tw sexual harassment, toxic family, dick talk, making out, if u have that one family member that pulls bs on you constantly this is it, this fic is for all the people who have a huge ass family who wont leave them alone w.c; 17.3k a/n: my second fic for gcn’s 23 birthday project! the fact that wedding szn zoomed by us like that... and so bc im sad that so many weddings had to be postponed this fic was born! a huge thank u to vivi @eerieedits / @chillingtae for creating this BEAUTIFUL fic banner and separator pls check vivi out to make your fics all purty

prompts used: “You’ve always been beautiful to me, don’t you know that?” and “I never knew love could be like this, feel like this.”

if you enjoyed this pls consider giving a like and a share💕💕

Doyeon likes to call Jungkook, “the one who got away.”

You like to call Doyeon, “the one who drove him away.”

In secret, of course. In fact, the only person who knows how much you loathe Doyeon and her behavior is your father. And all your co-workers. And your boss. And your boss’ ex-husband.

And Jeon Jungkook, but of course you haven’t seen the man in two years and back then he was far too polite to address his concerns of your hatred of his then-girlfriend.

Okay, so everyone and their mother knows how much you don’t like your cousin. Kim Doyeon and you have had beef since the sandbox, and for whatever reason is always out to one-up you. A strange competitive nature in everything, academics, family, and even boys. The sick, twisted part of you has come to enjoy it. While you’re not a fighter as devout as Doyeon is, you have your own callous tendencies farmed from the seeds Doyeon has planted in your brain. She gives you a comment? You can’t help but throw one back. Since you’re a painfully mature soul you don’t have any mortal enemies as far as you know, Doyeon is the perfect amount of hot water to keep you on your toes.

“I’m really sorry that you couldn’t be a bridesmaid,” Doyeon cooes next to you, swirling her champagne glass with a too-jutted pout, “but if I did there’d be an odd number of pairings and you’re a little too old to be walking as a bridesmaid, am I right?”

Your nails. Are digging. Through your dress. Alas, you’re in public and you have class. Doyeon smiles at you with all teeth, reminding you of the Beldam from Coraline. Aside from that she looks absolutely stunning in that Lirika Matoshi strawberry dress that has her Instagram aching with likes and love from her baseless followers.

“I don’t know,” you reply lightly, leaning back in your seat, “I mean, if Yoojung and Rena can be bridesmaids and they’re three years older than me, wouldn’t I make the cut? It’s okay to be honest and say you just didn’t want me in the bridal party.”

Doyeon laughs, slaps your thigh like you told her the most hilarious joke in the world. Anyone passing by would think you’re best friends. You laugh too, incredulous at the amount of power she thinks she holds.

“Nice party,” you tack on, surveying the room. It’s filled with pastels and beiges, bright and airy. It’s Parisian themed, and while you’re not a fan of theming cultures, you can’t deny that you’re loving the infinite supply of macarons.

“Oh, yes. This is just a taste of the real wedding,” she laces her fingers together, as if she thinks she’s living an Elizibethean love story, “speaking of, you put on your RSVP that you’re bringing a plus one. Am I allowed to know who’s the unlucky date?”

“As if you care.”

“I care if you’re bringing Jimin. That tiny thing nearly gave Aunt Lillian a heart attack when he gave a striptease at Yoongi’s graduation party.”

You smirk softly at the bold memory. That was the plan.

Doyeon sighs dramatically, crossing her legs and popping out a cherry red heel. She plays with the back on the balls of her feet, letting the little pearly rhinestones glisten in the candlelight, “I should really commend you, cousin,” she drawls, “I mean, how kind of you to be so charitable and give your dopey friends a chance to have fun. After all, I’m sure it is difficult for someone like you to find a date.”

It’s no surprise as to how you end up with a date at any family formal gathering. You say you bring a plus one, and then between Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok. The three of them draw straws as to who gets to gorge on free alcohol and food for that night.

“Difficult?” you arch a brow, “I get plenty of dates.”

Doyeon giggles. She must be feeling extra vindictive today, high on her impending marriage and the taste of bubbly champagne. “By taking turns with those three? You gotta be kidding me,” she snorts, tipping back her crystal, “please y/n. Don’t get so defensive because I’m getting married first. Your time will come. That is, if you stop dicking around with your friends.”

Normally you’d smother any attempt at Doyeon to call out your friends, but now she’s just done that and insulted your ability to get some, and you are livid.

“Actually,” you quip sharply, “I’ve been dating someone. It’s been a couple months, actually.”

“Oh?” Doyeon’s genuinely interested, face falling slightly, “you’ve never mentioned anyone, I don’t see anyone on your social media.”

“Yeah well,” you feign sympathy, pressing your lips together and tilting your head accordingly, “I’ve had to keep it private for a couple of reasons.”

“What, is he ugly or something?” she chuckles, “but really, who’s the person who has the misfortune of being in a committed relationship with you?”

Maybe it’s because Doyeon’s right, the both of you are too old. The two of you have been running around each other for years, with no end in sight. Maybe, the words that linger on the tip of your tongue will be the final nail in the coffin.

“Jeon Jungkook,” you state proudly, clear as day. “Jungkook and I have been dating for three months.”

And you pick up the vanilla macaron that sits innocently on your plate, ravishing it up like it contained all the tension in your table. Between you and Doyeon’s bubble, you could hear a pin drop.

“Jungkook?” her smile is concrete-solid, “my Jungkook?”

“My Jungkook,” you correct, giving her a puppy-eyed look, “I’m really sorry I never told you. I mean, is there ever a right time to tell your cousin they’re dating their ex-boyfriend?” you laugh, either to lighten the mood or because you love the way Doyeon pinches her face, you don’t know.

“How did you two even meet?”

“We reconnected through Seokjin. You know how the two of them play Starcraft together, I just ended up joining the call and he was so funny and nice. We just sorta… felt it.” Doyeon nods like a slow bobblehead, still comprehending in her pea-sized brain, “I just hope it isn’t too awkward. I know it’s been awhile but, if you really don’t want Jungkook to come I can always take Hoseok or something.”

“No, it’s fine,” Doyeon says a little too quickly, masking on her picture-perfect smile. “I’m with Namjoon now, and I’m totally happy. Water under the bridge, it’ll be totally fine.”

“Really?” your eyes practically sparkle, thankful for the amount of glitter and highlighter you’ve dumped on your face today, “I really appreciate it, Yeonie.”

And she quickly downs her champagne glass, and gets up from her seat. It’s haunting, the way she gets up, pink tulle billowing around her ankles. “I have to attend to the other guests,” she says.

“Of course,” you raise your glass.

“But, be careful,” she gives you a little smile, one filled with a last-ditch attempt at a jab, “Jungkook, he’s a little hard to deal with.”

“Oh don’t worry. I know how to deal with Jungkook’s hardness,” you wink, and Doyeon’s face falls like a ton of bricks.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” you shrug loftily, “that’s what I meant, though.”

And you don’t bother watching Doyeon stomp off the metaphorical stage, double fisting two new glasses of champagne from an awaiting butler as she finds some other poor guest to pick on. Now, the matter of securing your date. Conveniently so, the most important man in the room is walking your way, and you manage to snag his tie just as he passes your table.

“Ow—ow! I’m choking!” Seokjin grabs, nearly throwing his tall body onto your lap, hands grappling to release the tension on his neck. “Leave me alone, woman! I just wanted to get some chicken tenders!”

“Jin,” you say sweetly, opening his blazer to retrieve his phone, “I need Jeon’s number, now.”

“Jungkook?” your favorite cousin pales, eyes widening as you take out your phone of your own, copying down the digits, “what did you do?”

“Don’t ask questions.”

Seokjin says your name again, firmer. “You’re playing with fire.”

“It’ll be fine, it’s the last time,” you quell, already knowing how much Seokjin hates being in the middle of your fights. Once you’ve secured the phone number, you place Seokjin’s phone back into his pocket, patting his breast. “Thank you. You know you’re my favorite cousin, you know that?”

He grumbles a “damn right I am” before stomping away, resuming his race for his chicken tenders.

You: hey jeon it’s y/n. I see you’re doing great, i saw on instagram that you released your first app w/yoongi! Totally amazing, been playing for weeks, really upset that i can’t get past the flaming frog boss :((

You: Feel free to ignore this, i won’t blame you if you do. Im at doyeon’s rehearsal dinner, and she basically snubbed my friends and said i couldn’t get some prime dick even though im?? Me??? Anyway, im tired of her shit so im gonna throw it back at her, one last time before she ties the knot. I told her you and i have been dating, and im bringing you as my date to her wedding. Really sorry, the demons took over my brain and made the worst and best comeback of my life. So… if you’re up for being the hottest couple on the floor in three weeks and showing how madly in love we are, please text me back? Or not. You might think this family is crazy and i accept partial responsibility.

You: I’ll buy u every meal for every practice date we have if u agree.💕💕💕

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: thanks, i appreciate that. To defeat the frog boss, go back to the coconut cave and find the garnet garter. It absorbs his fire and u can easily defeat froggo w any level 15 weapon

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: and as for the real reason u texted me. Im in. let’s get pork belly tomorrow.

Two years ago, you were surprised that Doyeon could manage to snag a man as fine as Jeon Jungkook. Also unsurprised, because Doyeon is gorgeous and could snag any man she wanted, and has snagged every man she wanted.

Jungkook was different though. He had an air of innocence to him. He loved her, a little too much to be safe. Your heart would betray you every time you would find him at a family gathering, making her plate and counting the calories she so meticulously measured. How can someone so sweet be with someone like Doyeon?

Your heart ached for Jungkook when they broke up a year later. From what you heard, Doyeon was Jungkook’s first serious girlfriend. And then you wanted to rip your heart out a week later when you caught Doyeon smooching with her favorite graduate professor Kim Namjoon, wanting to erase any possibility you’d have at love. At that time, you never wanted to feel the pain you imagined Jungkook was going through.

“Y/n! Over here!” you’re a little taken aback at how much has not changed in Jungkook. His eyes still sparkle like fresh dew, his smile is still pearly white and infectious. He’s even early, snagging a table at his favorite barbeque place and waiting for you as if he is the one organizing your first date.

At the same time, there’s so much that’s changed about him. He’s confident, even going so far as to walk over to you and slip your jacket and purse in his grasp like a gentleman. He leads you by putting a hand lightly at the small of your back, making you feel impossibly small in comparison to his Dorito-shaped body, broad shoulders and a deliciously trim waist.

“How was the walk over?”

“Not too bad,” the conversation is casual, easy. You wipe the sweat off your forehead with a napkin. “Could use a little exercise now and again. I did eat a whole tray of macarons at that rehearsal dinner.”

Jungkook laughs from his belly, causing you to smile. “Nonsense. You look great, by the way,” you don’t mind it, actually, you enjoy it when his eyes rake over your body. After all, he’s now your boyfriend and he needs to get familiar with all the important bits. He leans his arms forward, bracing him against the wooden table so his face is closer to yours.

“You’re not doing too bad yourself,” your eyes gloss over the veins and intricate tattoos that paint his muscled upper half. Your smile morphs into a smirk, letting him know you’re enjoying the view just as well as he is.

And as soon as the tension sparks, it ends just as fast when your waiter comes up to light your grill.

“So,” Jungkook wastes no time in decorating your stove, making sure to add all the appropriate aromatics and infusions to season your lunch, “do you know why Doyeon and I broke up?”

“Cheated on you with Namjoon, I assume,” you keep your eyes trained on the darkening meat.

Jungkook slips a piece of meat in his mouth. Any expression of pain (whether it be from Doyeon or the barely cooked meat) doesn’t reveal itself as he stops to take a sip of water. “Who else knows?”

“Just me and Seokjin. The family loved you too much and Doyeon made up some sob story about how you two were going different life paths.”

He chuckles to himself, taking great care in flipping the meat. “I really was a fool in love, wasn’t I?”

“It… was mildly cute.”

“Tell me the truth, you have no reason not to.”

“Okay, you made me want to vomit rainbows and glitter every time I saw you.”

The two of you laugh, faces crinkling shamelessly as the two of you busy yourselves with setting up the table. Most of the food is done and the aroma of fresh onions wafts around your grill. As you place chopsticks on his side of the table, you think about all the times Jungkook made it abundantly clear how much he loved Doyeon: the love letters tucked into her purse, 100 day anniversaries, even just a simple Americano for her in the morning.

“Is that why you never hung out with us?”

“No,” you reply lightly, “Doyeon made it clear that I shouldn’t talk to you.”

Jungkook frowns, “You really don’t like each other, do you.”

You shrug, “Just always been like that,” you quirk a smile when Jungkook places the freshly cooked meat on top of your rice before serving himself.

“So what’s the plan?”

“We go to the wedding, make out a little, get Doyeon boiling. Even if she’s not interested in you, she’d still be upset knowing we are together.”

“And why is that?”

“Because it’s me,” you grin into your glass, staring at a water-stained Jungkook through the blue tinted glass. “And all you have to do, is enjoy your night and look pretty.”

His eyes crinkle, chopsticks pressing between his lips. “You think I look pretty?”

With a roll of eyes you don’t respond, preferring to dig your chopsticks in your rice. No need to inflate Jungkook’s ego too soon.

Pinning the main theme of your hangout to the side, the both of you dig into your meal. You throw conversation back and forth like pebbles, grains of sand that build and build until you’re caught up with each other’s lives. It feels so strange to admit it’s been two years since you’ve spoken to the man, and all of a sudden the once luscious meat feels dry in your mouth.

“Jeon,” you put your chopsticks down, “are you sure you want to do this with me? I mean, I know it’s all my fault and I dragged you into it. Don’t feel obligated to agree to this.”

“I’m a hundred-percent sure,” he doesn’t stop eating, shoving two spoonfuls of rice in his mouth. His cheeks puff up considerably, and your eyes trail down to his neck as he swallows, “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t wanna.”

“Right,” you don’t need a big explanation or a personal confession from Jungkook, just his consent. “Partners, Jeon?” you hold up your glass.

“Partners,” he agrees easily. The smile on his face disarms you, a full-fledged grin decked with pearly whites. Clicking his glass to yours he adds, “And it’s Jungkook, babe.”

Oh, this is going to be interesting.

Seokjin thinks the two of you are the most boring fake-couple.

His eyes dart back and forth between your spot on the couch and his desk, where Jungkook is currently seated. Seokjin is hovered over Jungkook, who’s typing and clicking furiously over his PC game. You’re on your phone, feet pulled up to the coffee table while some old Netflix movie plays in the background. To top it all off both of you didn’t even try to dress like it’s daytime, nearly matching in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. It doesn’t look like a couple coming to visit Seokin, it looks like Jungkook is playing video games with Seokjin while his cousin hangs around like she owns the place.

“Shouldn’t you guys like, I don’t know, go on dates or something?” Seokjin feels like he’s talking to the air. “Maybe get to know each other before the big day?”

Pulling your phone down to your lap and Jungkook taking off his headphones, the two of you shrug at each other, “No, we’re good.” Jungkook says.

“We know enough,” you agree cooly, “Jungkook likes Valorant.”

“I do like Valorant.”

“He likes pork belly.”

“I do like pork belly.”

“He’s ripped as hell.”

“I am ripped as hell.”

“Okay but have you guys kissed yet?” Seokjin interjects, probably compensating for the nonchalance in the room with his own brand of freaking out. You two only see each other when you’re hanging out at Seokjin’s apartment, and while he’s happy that you two aren’t doing the whole 9-yards and creating an elaborate scheme, the both of you are almost too relaxed. His anxiety is spiking.

“Yes,” Jungkook answers, “at the barbeque place we went to.”

“It was nice," you tack on, "Jin, we got this. Don't worry."

"How can I not worry when you're trying to upset our cousin on her wedding day?" he's sweating in his fully air-conditioned apartment. “I get that she’s the devil’s spawn and everything, but she’s still a human being.”

“In second grade she pushed me on the treadmill because I was going too slow. I got caught on the roller and got a bald spot for two months.”

“Okay yes one bad example—”

“And in senior year she accused me of plagiarizing her essay just because we chose the same topic. I almost didn’t get into college!” Seokjin sighs, crossing his arms. All valid points, and arguing with you isn’t a route he wants to take. “Jin, the point is that she’s constantly pushing my buttons. I’ve always been the bigger person and now that I’m old and confident I just want one jab.”

“That’s valid,” Jungkook pipes up, pressing the spacebar a few times, “I want a jab too, she cheated on me.”

“See? It’s a mutual decision.”

Seokjin asks, “Why aren’t you more worried about this?”

"Because Doyeon isn't going to chew me out on her wedding day," you checked your aunt's seating chart last week and you are far, far away from the bridal table. "We're just going to show off a little bit. Get drunk, eat some bomb steak. Break up in three months or less.”

"You don't have to just convince Doyeon, it's your entire family! Not to mention you also have to go to the bachelor party!"

"Oh I almost forgot," you reach under the couch for your laptop, "Jungkook, in two weekends from now we're flying to Las Vegas for the bachelor party and wedding. I'll buy your ticket now."

"Thanks, babe!” Jungkook sends a cheeky grin to Seokjin, who is unimpressed. “See? I remember to call her babe.”

“Alright, get out of my house,” Seokjin tugs Jungkook away from his computer, causing the younger man to swivel around in his plush gaming chair.

Jungkook frowns at the monitor, “But I’m still bronze one. I’m aiming for silver one by this weekend.”

“Don’t care. As much as I don’t like this plan, I’m not letting you two slip-up.” Seokjin pulls out his phone, revealing Doyeon’s Instagram story, “Doyeon and Namjoon are at the mall buying swimsuits for Vegas. Go to the mall and ‘accidentally’ run into them.”

You sit up straight, tilting your head to the side. “That’s not a bad idea, actually,” you bound over to grab your jacket, giving Seokjin a big fat kiss on his cheek, “Thanks Jinnie, do you know you’re—”

“I’m your favorite cousin. Yeah whatever, bye.” He waves you off, plopping in his own chair so he can enjoy his games in peace.

“I’m driving,” Jungkook declares, swiping your keys from Seokjin’s opal dish.

“Oh, hell no,” you jump on your tippy toes to reach Jungkook’s grasp on your keys, but he’s so freakishly tall there’s no way you can reach. “I drive my car!”

“I’ve always wanted to drive your car back then,” Jungkook cooes, leaning in so your noses touch. “C’mon, you can trust me.”

“You two are gross already,” Seokjin admonishes from the other side of the room, “see, it’s working!”

Poking his cheek so he gives you some space, you whip your head to hide the flush that burns on your cheeks. “Fine, but if you crash you’re buying me a new one.”

“They’re over there,” you hiss between the racks, shuffling between the plastic hangers to point to Doyeon and Namjoon at the women’s section of the store. They look disgustingly adorable together, with Doyeon pointedly telling Namjoon which swimsuit suits his stature better while Namjoon nods along and goes with whatever she says. You crouch down lower, fearing Namjoon’s tall frame would catch you. “Now we just gotta act all couple-y and they’ll notice us. Or maybe we can walk over to them? What do you wanna do?”

“Do you think we should get matching swimsuits?” Jungkook pays no mind to your sleuthing, holding up a red pair of swim trunks to his thighs, “we could pretend to be sexy lifeguards.”

You tilt your head away from the pair, only because Jungkook has been genuinely interested in this store since you’ve arrived. Putting a hand under your chin, you scrutinize the dark red cutoff shorts. “They’re cute,” you nod appreciatively, “It’ll make your thighs look thick.”

Jungkook’s grip on his hanger lowers, and he regards you with dark eyes. “You think my thighs look thick?” he asks, leaning in and putting one hand on the curve of your waist. His fingers dance on the surface of bare skin between your top and jeans, and while you’ve agreed beforehand that you two could touch each other wherever in public, it still surprises you when gooseflesh rises to the surface.

“Easy there, tiger,” you chuckle, putting a hand on his chest to stop his sudden bout of flirting. “I’m just stating the facts, we get it. You lift.”

“You’re so cute when you try to put your guard up,” he’s brushing noses with you now, and you feel the plastic of the hanger crumple pathetically between you two as the gap closes further. “But you can’t hide from me.”

And just as his lips move to press against yours, a shrill “Jungkook!” echoes throughout the large store.

You nearly flop over the boardshorts rack if not for Jungkook’s arms secured around your waist. Oh right, you think dumbly, this is all for show. Doyeon and Namjoon are right in front of you, purchases already made and looking at you two in curiosity. Well, Namjoon is definitely curious, because you know for a fact that Doyeon speaks very little of you to him and you’ve only conversed with him a handful of times. Doyeon on the other hand, looks a little stiff in the grin.

“Hello to you too,” you remark to Doyeon, who’s barely acknowledged you. You reach over to squeeze Namjoon’s arm, “Hi Joonie,” you crinkle your eyes, and you fight back a squeal when he smiles back with dimples. Doyeon has such a cute fiancé, and if you’re keeping score he’s way too good for her.

Doyeon’s eyes glaze over to where you’ve touched Namjoon, and she links her arms with his. “What a coincidence, you two are buying swimsuits where we’re buying swimsuits.”

“Well, there’s only one mall in this town and we’re going on the same trip in two weeks,” you reply blandly, and you feel Jungkook pinch your side. “Oh, Namjoon. Have you met my boyfriend Jungkook?”

“Can’t say that I have,” Namjoon reaches over to clasp Jungkook’s hand, “nice to meet you, man.”

While Namjoon and Jungkook exchange small talk, you pointedly ignore the waves of negativity Doyeon sends your way in favor of observing the two large men. Namjoon just said it was nice to meet him, therefore he has no clue who Jungkook is. Interesting, considering Doyeon two-timed in favor of Namjoon. It gets you a little antsy, and you wonder if Namjoon is faking this whole interaction or if Doyeon is hiding something.

“Baby,” Jungkook rests a hand on your shoulder, regarding you with concern, “you spaced out there, are you okay?”

“She’s like that, Jungkookie,” Jungkook gently presses your shoulders down, blocking your view of Doyeon as she regards your not-boyfriend as Jungkookie. “My cousin’s a bit of an airhead,” her tone is sweet and jesting, the backhanded jab going right above Namjoon’s head.

“I’m just hungry,” you say, forcing a tight-lipped smile.

“Well, that’s perfect,” Namjoon clasps his hands together, “Yeonie and I were just about to go grab some dinner. Why don’t you join us?”

Doyeon and you both reply immediately, “That really isn’t necessary—”

“Nonsense,” you don’t even have the heart to be upset at Namjoon because he looks so damn genuine, “It’s been two years and I haven’t even bought you a meal, y/n. After all, we’re going to be family at the end of the month.”

“Right,” you answer reluctantly.

“We’re gonna make reservations at the Cheesecake Factory,” he pulls out his phone, ready to make a call, “but you and Jungkook can finish shopping, okay? The wait will be a little long but by the time you’re done our table should be ready.”

You and Jungkook wave off Doyeon and Namjoon as they make their way to the restaurant. Your hand is caught in the air by Jungkook, who regards you with worry in his eyes. “I wasn’t kidding when I said you looked spaced out,” he says, “tell me what you were really thinking.”

Subconsciously, you squeeze his palm for comfort. “I don’t know, it just feels weird knowing Namjoon doesn’t seem to know you at all. Normally Doyeon loves to talk shit about her exes.”

Jungkook scoffs easily, “I mean, if she’s marrying the guy I’m sure she doesn’t want to let him know the details of how they ended up together.”

“True,” you decide to let it go, and follow Jungkook to the register to pay for his swim trunks.

“So,” the little ‘ding’ of the register opens up the money box, and Jungkook quickly hands the clerk his cash, “we’re having dinner with them after this?”

“Only if you want to.”

“We need to, right?” Jungkook thanks the clerk, holding the bag in one hand and threading his fingers through yours as you head out the store.

“Well, do you want to?” you ask again. Jungkook stops the two of you on the sidewalk. It isn’t a fast stop, but a slow down that makes his walk a little more thicker, more deliberate as he trudges you down the lane. You move in front of him, clutching your hands between his. “Are you okay? You barely even acknowledged Doyeon.”

“I’m fine,” you flinch at his harsh tone, and he immediately moves to remedy it by squeezing your hand back. “I’m sorry. It’s just been awhile and I’m definitely over her but,” he bows his head, feeling embarrassed, “she hurt me, you know?”

Going into this is definitely one of the more selfish plans you’ve put your mind to. Your heart pangs thinking about what must be going through everytime he sees her. If he’s reminded about all the good times they shared, or how much he’s over thought every single conversation he’s had with her up until this point.

“Of course,” you completely understand, knowing from the beginning that this whole mess would end up with some dicey feelings someway or another. “I’m just thankful you chose to stick by me. And we can talk about it if you’re comfortable,” both of you being victims of Doyeon’s brand of torture, you hope the two of you can at least be friends after all of this is over, “we don’t have to go have dinner with them.”

“But, Namjoon got us a table—”

“Namjoon will be fine. We can always have dinner with him another time,” you smile softly, “what matters is that you’re okay.”

His gaze melts, and you feel his grip loosen in your hold. He regards you with weak eyes, betraying the confidence he held himself to moments before. “Thanks, y/n,” he says, “I really appreciate that.”

“Anytime,” you reply honestly. “We can go to Cheesecake and order to-go. I can make some excuse about how my stomach hurts and that we should do a raincheck.”

“Sounds good.”

“Do you wanna eat at one of our places or eat at the park or something?” you’re already pulling up your phone, checking out the menu. “We could invite Jin too.”

“The park sounds nice,” neither of you acknowledge the fact that you’re not inviting Seokjin, and for some reason that’s okay.

“Yeah,” you agree simply, “the weather’s beautiful.”

Under any normal circumstances, you would’ve been friends with someone like Jeon Jungkook, easily. A little part of you wishes that you could’ve met Jungkook first, but Doyeon has better connections than you and always had a good crowd around despite her inner motivations. No awkward exchange happens when you suggest to Jungkook to eat together. Even though you’re not technically dating, the two of you know that eating together is better than eating alone.

And you have to admit Jungkook’s great company. The two of you drive to a reserve nearby, overlooking a tiny lake. Instead of a fancy Italian tablecloth the two of you move your car seats down and set a spare picnic blanket in the trunk. Instead of a candlelit dinner the two of you find some emergency electric tealights in the glove compartment, lighting it up between you two as you dig into your to-go boxes.

You’re a little envious that so much time has passed by. You could’ve been a little sneakier and made a better effort to communicate with Jungkook when you saw him regularly at family parties, and maybe you two would have a better friendship today. Nevertheless, the two of you mesh like peanut butter and jelly, exchanging conversation that has your cheeks sore from smiling too hard.

By the time you get to dessert, the moon is out and the stars are floating above your heads. The two of you are at war, fighting with your forks over the last strawberry in your cheesecake slice. After some careful stabbing Jungkook manages to nab it with his fork.

He almost puts it in his mouth, but instead swipes up some whipped cream to press the last strawberry to your lips.

“I think it’s working,” Jungkook says randomly as you chew the sweet fruit, “you could see it on Doyeon’s face today. She’s unsettled.”

“Yeah,” you agree, lying down on the lavender gingham picnic blanket.

“Do you know why she fights with you all the time?”

“That’s a question I’ve been asking myself since the dawn of time.”

“I think I know why.” Jungkook looks down at you with his large doe eyes, licking innocently on a spoon of whipped cream.

“Pray tell.”

“She’s jealous of you.”

“No,” you disagree easily, “she’s jealous that I have you.”

“Bzzt! Wrong,” Jungkook puts his empty container in your makeshift trash can, falling beside you and knitting his hands under his head. You have a little window on the roof of your car, so both of you are able to stare at the navy sky, “she’s always been jealous of you. Think about it. The two of you have similar lifestyles: same career path, confidence, taste, education. But even after all of that? People still like you more.”

You scoff, hands immediately reaching to fiddle with the frayed corner of fabric next to your fingers. “I don’t think so.”

“I’ve met all of Doyeon’s friends,” he informs you, “they’re weird. Like yeah, they care about each other on the surface level. But they’re nothing of substance. They’re not like your friends.”

“Please, Doyeon has everything she could ever want,” you don’t know what kind of complex you have supporting Doyeon’s life, but something deep and insecure wants to separate you two as far away from each other as possible. “Like… she’s Malibu Barbie and I’m Polly Pocket.”

Jungkook turns to face you, resting his head between his palm and leaning on his elbow. “Do you not think you’re beautiful?”

“Yeah, but compared to Doyeon—”

“You’ve always been beautiful to me, don’t you know that?”

You choke on your saliva, feeling small and skittish at the implication behind his words. It’s been two years. You’ve only been friends for two weeks. How can he possibly say that?

“I uh, saw you once,” Jungkook coughs, and you watch the way his pale cheeks unmatch the moon and instead flit to a crimson hue, “we were at some party and you were wearing this really cute black dress with a white bow in the middle. Doesn’t even matter what party because it was random, y’know? I was gonna go talk to you but Doyeon got to me first and well, the rest is history.” He breaks eye contact with you, unable to handle it.

You remember that party, vaguely. It was random, some sort of poetry slam in a shady part of town. Doyeon and you didn’t even go with each other, you were with Taehyung and she just happened to stumble in there from another nearby party. You didn’t even know Jungkook was there that night, or how you were a hair's breadth away from meeting him before Doyeon.

“Don’t ever think you’re lesser than her just because out of all the people she chose to pick on, she chose you. It’s why she never lets you get to know her boyfriends. She’s threatened by you because you’re just as special,” something low sparks in your chest at his words, “and now that you’ve finally decided to stoop to her level and fight back with a taste of her own medicine, she doesn’t know what to do.”

Feeling like your body is on a beach and you’re sinking in sand, you soften over your picnic blanket, mulling it over. “Did I make the right choice? Stooping down to her level.” Your voice is quiet, comparable to the chirping birds and buzzing gnats outside.

“We won’t know until after the wedding,” Jungkook answers honestly, “but I do know I’m sticking with you until the end. We’re friends now, got that? You have no excuse to ignore me anymore.”

You don’t want to ignore Jungkook, never in a million years. Now you know that you are envious of Doyeon, for having an opportunity to love and care for an amazing person like him. So in a sudden bout of emotion, you roll over to straddle Jungkook’s waist.

He’s shocked, hands flying to your waist to make sure you don’t wobble off. But you’re determined, and lean down to press your lips against his. He tastes like cheesecake and strawberries, the taste melding with your own as you relish in the feeling of his soft lips against yours. You melt a little when he squeaks, breaking into a soft moan as he reciprocates the gesture. He’s warm and large and he makes you feel safe. Once your brain returns to your body, you break for air. You only pull back a few centimeters, and there’s no way for you to get off because Jungkook has locked you in place.

“What was that for?” he asks breathlessly.

“Don’t know,” you’re whispering against his lips, unable to pull away, “just felt like we needed a little more practice.”

He blinks, before relaxing in a silly smile. “I agree,” he says simply, dipping you on your back so he can be on top the second time around.

“We’re in Vegas, baby!”

Every single terrible comedy movie set in Las Vegas has brought you to this very moment. You’ve always wanted to say that line. Dumping your luggage next to Jungkook’s, you flop on the nearest mattress. Thank goodness you only wore leggings and a t-shirt on the flight, it’s the optimal sleeping outfit after a long day. Feeling something hard and plastic dig into your brain, you hold up the culprit and squeal excitedly. “Look, Kook!” you wave the crinkly confection in your hands, “they put mints on the pillows!”

Despite your room being a square with two queen beds, the hotel does not skimp on quality. The decor is ornate, the white and gold trim on the doorknobs and metal appliances shimmering beautifully. The beds feel like clouds, as you try to imagine what a cloud could possibly feel like, this is it.

Jungkook immediately follows suit, ripping off his outer clothes until he’s left in his undershirt and boxers, flopping next to you on the mattress. He immediately opens his mouth when you shoot a mint, catching it easily. “I feel like we’re in a deleted scene of Crazy Rich Asians,” he says, letting the hard mint clink around his teeth, “is this the part where you tell me your family comes from old money and I’m gonna be your sugar baby?”

“Don’t be so hopeful,” you narrow your eyes, booping his button nose with your finger.

“I’m just saying, the first class flight threw me off.”

You giggle, slapping his chest, “No. If that was true, we wouldn’t be sharing a room with my cousin. Sorry you have to share the bed with me, I got the hotel with Jin and he doesn’t want to sleep with you.”

“S’okay,” Jungkook replies softly, leaning closer to make grabby hands at you, “you’re softer.”

Tentatively, you scooch over so you can lean on Jungkook’s chest. You two have a little time before Doyeon and Namjoon’s combined bachelor and bachelorette party. The past two weeks have been nice—scratch that, the past two weeks with Jungkook have been wonderful. You never cared to measure how much time passed before meeting him, but now that you’ve begun fake-dating, time is the only thing you regard. You’re already beginning to miss him, knowing that in a week, this whole arrangement will be over.

Well, not exactly over. Jungkook says you’ll remain friends after this, but you don’t really want that. You want more, and it scares you to think he may not feel the same.

But right now you’re snuggling like an old couple, sleeping comfortably between pillow-like sheets and minty breath. Your pretend boyfriend, now your pretend boyfriend with benefits, looks soft and huggable and you want to bottle up this moment forever. You say benefits because, well, the cuddling is an added bonus. Practice practice practice, Jungkook sing songs the words you used that one night under the stars, excuses to seal his lips to your lips. You’ll never argue with that. So when Jungkook’s hand tightens around your waist and pulls you closer, you relent.

One second, you’re closing your eyes and the next, you’re waking up to Seokin’s wide eyes staring back at you.

“Eep, you creepo!” you shriek, scrambling away from him. That’s when you realize Jungkook’s missing from bed, the scent of his laundry detergent lingering between the eggshell Egyptian cotton.

“Jungkook’s in the shower,” Seokjin immediately reads your mind, pulling away so he can unpack his luggage. “My flight just got in two hours ago, you both were out like a light when I arrived.”

“Ugh, I’m really not ready to party.”

“Doyeon just texted the family group chat. She reserved the rooftop, the party starts in an hour,” he talks mindlessly, rifling through his stuff. Seokjin is fiddling with his clothes, despite the fact that you know Seokjin prepares his outfits days in advance so he doesn’t have to choose. He looks concerned, pulling out a flamingo pink boardshort and setting it down on his mattress. Finally he says, “I’m worried about you.”

“Why?”

“Because. It’s clear that you’re starting to fall for Jungkook.”

The words strike you straight in the place you’re trying to avoid. You’ve been living in a fantasy these past two weeks, thinly veiled by the whole reason you two are together in the first place. Doyeon’s wedding is just around the corner, and what then?

“I’m not saying that he doesn’t feel anything for you either,” that gets your heart skipping a beat, and you secretly hold a hand to your chest under the blankets, “but do you really want to start off a relationship like this? A relationship all messy and morally objective because it’s built on revenge?”

“Don’t worry about me,” the words easily fall from your lips, “I can take care of this.”

“I hate it when you say that,” the words are curt and harsh against Seokjin’s plush lips, “I’m allowed to worry about you, y/n. You know why? Because, because you’re my favorite cousin too,” he bites his lip, walking over so he sits on your side of the bed. “So don’t tell me what I can and can’t worry about. I want you to be happy, I want you to stop holding in this anger you have for Doyeon and move on.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, leaning over to press your cheek against Seokjin’s shoulder. “You’re right.”

“For the first time in a long time, you’ve finally decided to lean on someone,” and both of you know who that someone is. “I don’t want you to lose him over some petty family issue. You should tell him how you feel.”

“I will,” you wrap your arms around your cousin’s slim waist in a silent thanks.

“Am I interrupting a tender family moment?”

The two of you pull away to stare at Jungkook, leaning against the doorframe that leads to the bathroom. He’s in a plain white t-shirt and the red board shorts that you bought at the mall, cutting off mid-thigh and revealing the bulky muscle underneath. You were right, the shorts do make his thighs look thick.

Seokjin groans exaggeratedly. “Yes, yes you did.”

Jungkook immediately goes to replace Seokjin’s spot, and some stray droplets fall fresh from the shower due to his slicked-back hair. “Do you wanna get ready? First party’s soon.”

“Not really,” you admit, “you’re gonna meet the family all over again.”

“Second time’s the charm,” he winked, “I’ve already met your parents and everything. Not feeling nervous at all.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really,” and the facade cools down a little, “well, maybe a little nervous for your Aunt Lillian. Her stares give me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from Aunt Lillian.”

“God the two of you get worse every day,” Seokjin has magically changed into his shorts, tucking himself into the bed, “don’t wake me up until we pre-game.”

Doyeon and Namjoon don’t skimp on the festivities, although in taste the ideas are Doyeon’s in its entirety. It’s lavish and colorful, with a beautiful infinity pool in the middle decorated with lavender and pink headlights. There’s a buffet table overflowing with tasty food. There’s petal pink champagne overflowing from fountains, decorated with fresh strawberries bobbing around the fizzy drink.

“I don’t know,” Namjoon and Jungkook have been talking for well over an hour, and it’s clear how well they mesh together. Heck, you’ve accepted that Jungkook may like Namjoon more than he likes you. Jungkook’s eyes sparkle as Namjoon discusses the various genres of rap and hip-hop music, explaining the potency of mature themes in a young community, “but I will say music is like another language, knows no boundaries when it comes to sending their messages to others.”

You fight the urge to chuckle when Jungkook sighs dreamily at the music theory professor. “Wow, that’s so deep.”

Getting up from your cabana, you nudge Seokjin, who’s currently flirting it up with one of Doyeon’s bridesmaids. “Hey, wanna get a drink?” you ask, throwing your wrap on the cushions to reveal your strappy red bikini.

“And chicken tenders,” Seokjin presses a kiss to the bridesmaid’s cheek, bidding her goodbye as he follows you out of the shaded area.

“Do you two lovebirds want anything?” you stare pointedly at Namjoon and Jungkook. While Namjoon’s eyes stay in contact with you, you can’t help but smile a little more when Jungkook has a hard time keeping his gaze in one place.

“I think we’re fine,” Namjoon answers for both of them, swirling his beer bottle. “I’ll meet you two at the bar once I’m done.”

“Sure thing,” Seokjin puts a hand on your back to lead you to one of the open bars. As much as you like being in a handsome hotel with money to burn, nothing beats the fact that your entire family is here to celebrate. The elders have corroborated two cabanas for poker and other games, while your younger cousins are playing ping pong and air hockey on the other side.

“Namjoon sure is a dreamboat,” Seokjin bemoans, handing you an electric orange drink. You take a sip of it, and bug out when you realize it tastes nothing like alcohol. You’re definitely in for a night. “Like I can hear him wax music thingamajib any day.”

“I thought you were into that bridesmaid.”

“A mere diversion,” he sighs, leaning his tanned arms against the bar, “can’t ignore the deep voice Namjoon has, it’s intoxicating.”

“I’m sure Jungkook would agree,” you egg on.

“What are you two talking about?” you straighten up when the man of the hour shows up at the bar, absolutely glowing under the sunset. He orders a round for the three of you, and you immediately chug your own drink to get to the next one.

“Talking about how you’re stealing Jungkook away from me,” you joke, accepting another fruity drink from Namjoon. Damn, this stuff tastes like candy.

“Oh, never,” Namjoon replies brightly, waving the thought away, “do you see the way he looks at you? Hopelessly in love.”

Maybe it’s the copious amounts of alcohol, but you feel your stomach flip-flop at the thought of love. You’ve always known what love felt like, the warmth of Namjoon’s cheeks whenever he sees Doyeon, when your mom takes care of you when you’re sick, when Seokjin makes sure you’re not emotionally constipated 24/7. But the thought of Jungkook and you in love? It’s a feeling you secretly yearn for.

“Right? It’s disgusting,” Seokjin groans with an eye roll, “like, Jungkook wasn’t like that with Doyeon at all when they were together.”

The slip up has the three of you choking on your own thoughts, staring at each other like the three have just been told you’re on a prank show. But it is no prank, and you look at Seokjin who’s absolutely horrified.

“Oh shit,” he squeaks, looking at Namjoon guiltily, “did I say something I shouldn’t have said?”

“I don’t know,” Namjoon replies coolly, “did you?”

The ominous response gets you going, and you quickly place a hand on Namjoon’s arm, placating him. “They dated, yes. But it was only for a short time and we’ve sorted everything out. Nothing for you to worry about.”

“Oh,” Namjoon quirks his head, and regards you two with pursed lips. “I’m not one of those guys who freak out over other people’s exes. I’m just surprised that I’ve only heard this now,” Namjoon takes a slow sip of his drink, and despite your drink also being cold and refreshing, you’re absolutely sweating.

“Well, I’m sure Doyeon didn’t want to worry you.”

At the mention of his future wife, he beams. “You’re right, she’s considerate like that,” and the conversation ends just like that. He holds up his drink to the two of you, and you and Seokjin do the same. With a sharp clink he leaves you two to mull, happily conversing with the next round of guests he needs to entertain for the week.

“That guy is too nice for his own good,” you shake your head, asking the bartender for your third drink within ten minutes.

Seokjin leans over you and warbles, “So you’re telling me that Namjoon has no idea that Doyeon cheated on Jungkook in order to date him?” he’s sweating just like you are, following suit to your actions and asking to make his drink a double.

“I don’t know,” you bite your lip, your teeth worrying the dark skin, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while though. I just don’t want to get involved, you know?”

“But this is different!”

“But Doyeon’s family!”

“And all of a sudden you care about Doyeon’s feelings?” Seokjin gripes back, “it’s not about Doyeon, it’s about the both of them. And if we know something that Namjoon doesn’t, wouldn’t it be in our best interests to warn him before he seals a marriage deal that costs him over a zillion dollars?” he gestures to the extravagant wedding party.

“But we don’t even have any proof that’s the case,” you frown, “Doyeon could have changed—a little, not a lot—since meeting Namjoon, maybe she thinks it’s best to reveal as little as possible.”

Seokjin wonders what kind of family he has. One as chaotic as his takes a lot to stomach, and Seokjin likes to pride himself in his strong appetite. “Fine, let’s just keep a close eye on both of them this week. And if anything remotely fishy happens, we strike.”

“Deal.”

You return to the cabana alone, with a plate of fries for both you and Jungkook. Jungkook is also alone, laying on the lounge chair with his eyes closed. It gives you a chance to ogle your fake-boyfriend a little bit, reveling in the sight of his toned body.

Setting down your plate with a sharp rap of the glass, Jungkook opens one eye. “Hey,” he smiles, drinking in your muted expression, “you okay?”

Damn Jungkook for being able to read you so well. “I think so. It’s nothing, really.”

“Well, will you tell me if it’s something?”

“Yeah, I will.”

“So, I do have something to tell you though.” Jungkook sits up, regarding you wearily. “Can you… stand in front of me?” Confused, you shove a fry in your mouth and walk up to him as directed, your back blocking the entrance as you stand in front of him. “Okay, come closer. Now bend down,” you bend your back 90 degrees, and he presses a hand to your shoulder to stop you, “no, no. With your breasts out, just a little—there! Arch your back. Like you’re doing the Sorority Squat.”

“Excuse me—”

“The music isn’t even that loud,” he mutters to himself, “no one would need to push their boobs in my face to hear me.”

“Jungkook, is someone pressing boobs to your face?”

“Why,” he breaks into a playful grin, “jealous?”

“Not if it’s Aunt Lillian.”

“Unfortunately it wasn’t,” he twiddles with the drawstrings of his shorts. “It was Doyeon.”

Doyeon? She didn’t walk by your cabana all day. Heck, she barely greeted you when you arrived with Jungkook. But when Jungkook’s alone is when she decides to pounce? And with what motive?

“I don’t know,” he’s rambling to himself, “maybe I’m overthinking it. It was only half a second.”

“Jungkook, I have something to tell you,” you say instead, panic in your features.

“Is it something urgent?”

“Well, no but—”

“Then tell me when we get back to the room,” Jungkook easily pulls you onto his lap, and you instantly heat up when you feel your bare butt press against Jungkook’s golden thighs. “Like you said, we’re in Vegas. Let’s have fun while we can.”

“Okay,” you tuck your head between his neck and collarbone, reaching to press a kiss to his smooth jawline.

Relaxing against the plush lounge chair Jungkook feeds you fries while talking about the things he wants to do this week. It’s his first time in Vegas and he wants to make the most of it. He wants to visit all the buffets he sees on Buzzfeed compilations, relax at the pool, maybe catch a show. The thought of spending all week with him and your family is nice, and suddenly you don’t feel so awkward sitting on his lap, and eventually he pulls you between his thighs so you can lay on his chest.

“And between you and me,” he fake whispers against the shell of your ear, as if he’s telling you the biggest secret, “we’re the hottest couple here.”

The next three days leading up to the wedding are relatively uninteresting.

Uninteresting in the best way possible. On Monday you and Jungkook spend time with your little cousins, taking them to The Adventuredome, one of the resort's indoor theme parks. On Tuesday you and Jungkook go shopping at the outlet malls with your parents, blowing hundreds of dollars on cheap Levis that have your luggage bursting with a new wardrobe. In between all of that Seokjin and occasionally Namjoon joins you two in your buffet journey, hitting up the top spots and filling your tummies to the brim with delicious food.

On Wednesday, Jungkook brandishes two gold-foiled tickets in front of you, waving them around like a fan. With one finger, he pushes away your Pokémon battle, “I got us tickets to Cirque du Soleil,” he announces proudly, “waited in line for an hour.”

You gape, scrambling off of your bed and throwing your Nintendo Switch to the side. “Jungkook,” you marvel, “these are so expensive. How’d you manage to get a show for tonight?”

He shrugs, “Looked around.”

“You’ve been impulse buying a lot this week,” you tease, “like really, you don’t need three pairs of the same ripped jeans.”

“This wasn’t an impulse buy,” he says, “I’ve been looking around for shows. Just managed to pick them up today, so go get dressed for our date.”

Did Jungkook just call it a date? Giddy with excitement you throw the covers off, running into the bathroom to get ready. What a surprise, you didn’t think Jungkook would be into spontaneous things like this.

Seokjin left the bathroom open, so when you walk in the room it is steamy and warm. Your dear cousin is still in the shower, probably waiting for his conditioner to pass three minutes of set-in time.

“What are you getting ready for?” Seokjin asks over the rain shower.

“Kook got us tickets to Cirque du Soleil,” you chirp happily, looking through your skin care products.

“I wanna come!”

“Nope! Jungkook called it a date.”

“Oh, a date,” Seokjin drawls, putting his head under the water to rinse his hair clean. “Well then, should I vacate the room for tonight?”

“What, no!” you’ve closed the door, so thankfully Jungkook can’t hear you talking about him. “We’re not doing anything. We’re just two friends who are fake-dating going on a date.”

“Sounds like a real date, though,” Seokjin wraps a towel around himself to cover all his important bits before getting out of the shower, bumping elbows with you so he can brush his teeth. “Either way, I’ll be gone tonight. It’s my turn to watch the baby cousins. Don’t have too much fun while I'm in their room watching Despicable Me for the millionth time.”

“We’ll be sure to stop by with some pizza or something,” you tease, a little wiggle in your hips when you vacate the bathroom.

By the time you and Jungkook are ready, you two are dressed impeccably. Jungkook is wearing one of the ripped black jeans he bought on Tuesday, combined with a white button up and black blazer. A classic outfit with a little bit of Jungkook-themed flair. And to Jungkook’s surprise, you’re wearing the dress that he first saw you in, all those years ago. You’ve gained a little weight since college, but you still fill out the little black dress beautifully, the little white bow in the middle adding a simple yet adorable touch. It took a little sleuthing and searching through your old college clothes, but you were determined to find it when Jungkook reminded you how much you love the design.

Clearly from the way Jungkook is currently gaping at you like a bloated fish, he loves it too.

The show is beautiful and colorful, leaving you speechless and in tears by the end of it. Jungkook lets you hold his hand the entire time, feeling a bout of anxiety anytime the acrobats fall gracefully despite the large height.

Overall, it was a wonderful show, paired with your equally enamouring date. It’s getting harder and harder to distinguish what’s fake and what’s real in your heart, and throughout the night you’re sorely reminded that you should tell Jungkook how you feel.

But by the time you get to the room your parents are calling you, asking to get their suit and dresses out of the car so hotel service can do a last minute press and dry clean.

“I’ll be back,” you say to Jungkook, “I need to go get their clothes out of the car. They’re always so forgetful.”

“Want me to come?” he offers, hand shying away from inserting the keycard in.

“No, I’ll only be fifteen minutes, tops.”

“So I guess this is this the part where I get a goodnight kiss?” he asks cheekily, leaning on his heels so his tall frame reaches yours. You don’t hesitate to give a short peck to his pretty pink lips. He pouts at the brevity, “that was too quick.”

“Go inside,” you insist, “the sooner you get ready for bed the sooner I can get ready for bed.”

“Then more kisses?”

“Then more kisses.”

Jungkook breaks into an all-teeth smile, unable to control himself when he dips down and steals a longer, more lingering kiss to your lips. “I had a great time tonight,” he says, mimicking every single teenage rom-com protagonist who’s deeply in love with the popular jock. “Don’t take too long, okay?”

You nod, pushing him inside, “C’mon, if you stopped talking I’d be back by now!”

Once the door closes shut, you let yourself do a little dance in the hallway, wiggling your butt and giving yourself a mini-celebration. You quickly text your group chat that you just came back from the Cirque show.

Jimin: what, a date with your fake date?

Hobi: jeon jungcock? 👀👀

Jimin: whaaaaaattttt. U’ve gotta have sat in his lap at least. 3 times since you’ve started this ting

Hobi: i’ve heard things in college…

Taehyung: u are all gross and i hate u

Taehyung: but so am i bc im very curious

Just as you’re about to send a heated reply, the elevator dings, revealing a pissed off Doyeon. She’s bare-faced, in a fluffy lilac bath robe and matching puff ball slippers. You slip in right beside her, making sure there’s a comfortable amount of space between you two.

“You’re going to the parking garage too?” you ask, eyes lingering on the lit button.

“Yeah,” she’s looking at her phone, a few stray hairs from her mahogany bun falling onto her forehead, “Aunt Lillian left her medication in the car. I don’t know why she has to send me, I’m busy getting married.”

“My parents left their formal clothes in the car,” you shrug, “you know, my parents and Aunt Lillian share the same brain cell. Gotta help them out once in a while.”

The icy silence in the elevator is probably the calmest you and Doyeon have been since you’ve announced your relationship status with Jungkook. You fight the sigh, opting to take out your phone and open some unread messages.

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: hurry up, the bed’s cold without u

You: lool, why do u look constipated

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: because i am, hurry up. Im bringing ur switch to the toilet and playing on your profile

You: JEON WAIT YAMPERS AT 5HP GO TO THE POKEMON CENTER U HEATHEN

You tilt your head a centimeter, feeling Doyeon breathing down your neck like Puff the Magic Dragon. You look at her with wide eyes. Her long, slender neck manages to snake its way next to your head, “Can I help you?” you ask amusedly, clutching your phone to your chest.

“Are you two really together?” she asks, batting her lashes. All this week she’s left you alone, and you’ve been wondering when she’s going to make herself known. It’s a little self-absorbed you have to admit, but ever since Namjoon’s ignorance to Doyeon’s previous relationship, you’ve been on edge.

“Of course we are,” you spit back, “I love him.”

And you must be very convincing, because Doyeon’s gaze falters just a fraction. You glare at her, staking your claim. Ever since Jungkook told you the reason Doyeon hates you is because she’s jealous, you’ve started to feel a bit of sympathy for her. Doyeon is beautiful and smart, she has no reason to feel this way. But the brain holds fickle thoughts sometimes, bringing darkness to the mind.

“He loved me first,” she bites back, lifting her chin.

“And why do you care?” you laugh tonelessly. The elevator dings open, and you’re met with the open air and concrete of the parking garage. “He may have loved you first, but he’ll love me last.”

You leave the elevator first, a little pep in your step as you make your way to the rental car to gather your parent’s things. While the words you uttered are white in nature and may not hold any sort of weight to them, it manages to bring Doyeon to her knees, absolutely quaking in the elevator.

You’re tasting revenge, and it’s sweet.

“Okay, you need to leave,” Seokjin pulls away the shot glass from your lips, “I didn’t spend days planning the itinerary for you to mess it up. Bridal party in Doyeon’s suite and the groom’s party in Namjoon’s parents suite.”

“That’s dumb,” you chastise, crossing your arms, “we’re all meeting at the same club at 10. Why can’t we pre-party together?”

“Because it’s tradition!”

“Screw tradition,” you stumble on your heels as you purse your lips at Jungkook, “Kook, when we get married I don’t wanna do a whole boy-and-girl party. We’re equals, right?”

“Of course, baby,” he cooes, being careful not to smudge your makeup when he presses his lips to the crown of your head. “But for the sake of Seokjin’s sanity, you should probably go to Doyeon’s. It’ll only be an hour or two.”

You gasp exaggeratedly at the blatant betrayal. He only grins cheekily in response, dipping down to press a wet kiss to your cheek. “Fine,” you cross your arms, snatching back your drink from Seokjin’s grasp to knock it down.

Leaving the bachelor pre-party pains you considerably. They’re having such a good time joking around the suite, telling each other fun stories and relaxing in chairs as they watch TV. This is your kind of crowd, not to mention that you can peacefully check out Jungkook’s ass in those tight dress pants without any crazy club lights distorting your vision.

From past family party experience you already have a feeling what’s coming for you in the ladies’ suite.

Loud music pours from Doyeon’s suite, and it’s completely unlocked. The bridal party is raving, ten seconds away from being completely drunk and immobile. The lights are being manually shut on and off like some sort of cheap rager, and you have to tell Yoojung to tone it down before you get a seizure.

The stench of acidic drinks and the tang of alcoholic air is palpable, and instead of a shot you opt for a glass of peach champagne to slow you down.

As you walk deeper into the suite, you notice a crowd forming by the balcony. Tapping your cousin Nari on the shoulder, you regard her with a hug and kiss. “What’s going on over there?” you ask, heels not helping you see any better.

Nari’s all blushy and pink, hiccuping as she gestures to the balcony. “Her maid of honor got Doyeon a very special gift!”

Managing to weave through the women blocking your view, you fight the urge to gag when you have a clear view of the scene in front of you.

You really don’t understand the purpose of bachelor and bachelorette parties. “One night to be single all over again!” they all say, even though they’re not actually single? Like why does the couple suddenly get one night of forgiveness when you’ve already spent years being in a committed relationship?

Why is it okay that Doyeon’s dry humping a stripper on the balcony? Her white silk dress is ruched dangerously high, soon close to flashing her family. Aunties and friends and the like are cheering her on, and she flips her head perfectly to all the phones shoved in their faces, making sure to get the perfect angle.

Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you turn back in the hopes that your other family members would be willing to have a good old-fashioned tip back with you.

You squeal when your hands accidentally land on a bare, oiled chest. You look up, mortified at the large man covered in black harnesses. “Hey babe, I’m Wonho,” he says, faking a sultry gaze as he looks at you up and down, “you’re part of the bridal party too? Wanna dance?”

Feeling naked, you push past him, careful not to get anything on your dress. Wonho? Wonno.

Jungkook loves your family.

(Except Doyeon.)

As much as he told you not to worry about him, and he’ll be completely fine when he meets your family, he couldn’t help be a little wary on the flight over. After all, it’s been two years and he didn’t know how things would be different.

Chaoticism and all, your family is a thing to be cherished. Even though Yoongi has been on mood swings that make Jungkook question his sanity from time to time, and Seokjin is secretly breathing down Jungkook’s back every time he so glances at you, he thinks things are right where they should be.

But despite all that they regarded him with familiarity, hugged and kissed him like old friends, something is different. They’ve turned over a new page for him. They don’t bring up Doyeon. They ask about his family, his job, his life in the city. They ask about how you and Jungkook met, and how happy they are for you. How happy they are for him.

Oh, how he wishes everything could be different. In another world, you two would already be together.

He wasn’t lying back at the cabana when he said you two are the hottest couple at the resort, including the bridal party (but don’t tell Namjoon). You look absolutely stunning in your sparkly red dress, accentuating all the right parts and lighting up the whole room.

When he finds you in the club you’re sitting down with your Aunties, keeping the elders company while the younger ones are flagging down the bartenders. He thinks it’s cute, how well you fit in between them, coddling you like you’re still a child in their eyes.

“Dear, your boyfriend is here!” your one Aunt yells over the loud EDM.

You lift your head up quickly, giving him the prettiest smile. Your teeth glow purple under the neon lights, and he fights the urge to laugh when he holds out a hand. “Mind if I steal her from you?”

“Of course, she’s gotta live a little!”

You pout, a little wobbly but nevertheless still in the right mind as you shuffle out of the booth to meet his awaiting arms. “Hey handsome,” your voice is thick and sweet-smelling, “come here often?”

“Only when my girlfriend does,” he replies cheekily, hands immediately coming to your butt to smooth out your dress. He shys a bit when your Aunties hoot and holler at his public display of affection, but all he wants to do was pull the hem down a little bit. No way is he going to let anyone get a flash of your goods.

“Let’s dance!” you take your hand in his, leading him to a comfortable corner of the dance floor.

Clubs aren’t really your scene, aligning with Jungkook’s sentiments towards the loud generic music and terrible smell. But you’re in Vegas, and he feels that it’s all part of the package to experience the nightlife at least once. He puts his hands on your waist and you giggle like you’re in prom, hands coming to rest on the collar of his button down.

“Hey,” he says with a lopsided smirk, “wanna make out?”

“Sure,” he notices that you don’t even check if anyone’s seeing, and it makes his heart flutter when you don’t hesitate to get on your tiptoes to meet him halfway.

He’s always hoped for a moment like this, a moment where the room stops spinning and both your minds click into place. It’s almost comical, how he distinctly notes that the music fades once his lips touch yours. The kiss is hot, yet intimate. Even though he makes excuses to kiss you all the time because of practice, it goes to show that you two definitely never needed it. Your tiny hands grip the collar of his button down, bringing you two impossibly close despite the hot air. His larger hands grip at the strings that hold your measly dress together, grappling at any excuse to get to your soft skin. The two of you are a natural when it comes to each other’s intimacy.

The two of you pull away, mesmerized. You haven’t kissed like that before. He melts under your stare, his thumb reaching to nick off any lip gloss that’s moved in the process.

Seokjin comes down the floor to haul you both by the shoulders, “C’mon lovebirds, they’re taking wedding shots!”

The two of you follow your cousin to the crowd of people that is your family, already with their own drinks in hand. Doyeon and Namjoon are sitting atop the bar, making a very loud toast that consisted of a quick “thank you!” and “we love you!” before downing their drinks with their arms linked together. The room is thrumming with excitement for tomorrow’s festivities, and surprisingly, you and Jungkook included. He tucks himself in your body like a puzzle piece, hugging you from behind while he watches Namjoon’s eyes sparkle with love under the neons.

The nightclub gets a little blurry after that, with the copious amounts of alcohol and shameless actions from your family and friends. By the time it’s twelve Jungkook notices you swaying at a rate that you can’t handle. He knows your limits and knows when you have to urge to pee every five minutes, it’s time to go. With a chaste kiss you leave him at the bar, deciding to make a pitstop to the bathroom before telling Jungkook you want to head up.

You’re locked in a stall when you hear Yoojung’s voice.

“Ugh,” she groans, voice echoing through the tiny room. “Jungkook is so sexy. Do you see the way he’s dancing out there? He’s a literal babe magnet, I can’t believe he ended up with someone like y/n.”

You don’t move a muscle, pressing your ear against the door that hides you. The silly slander isn’t news to you, Doyeon has been feeding her friends all sorts of bullcrap so they wouldn’t bother talking to you.

“Yeah, Jungkook’s a real treat but he dated Doyeon first. Sounds like she’s into sloppy seconds,” Elly replies, another bridesmaid you’ve met in passing. “But I don’t know, they do look happy together.”

“Please, I’m sure Jungkook’s just using her so he can get one more chance at Doyeon before she ties the knot,” you bristle, the thought of Jungkook still having feelings for Doyeon makes your heart thud painfully against your chest, “like, what a downgrade. Namjoon and Doyeon do not deserve this drama. If Jungkook ever liked Doyeon at all, he wouldn’t have come. Period.”

You slam the door open, causing Elly to squeal and Yoojung’s YSL lipstick to fall onto the sink. You’re the epitome of relaxation, walking towards the sink to wash your hands. The bridesmaids simply stare at you, unable to formulate a comeback. When you finally dry your hands, you say your next words.

“Jungkook is here because he loves me,” an act act act. This is all an act. You shouldn’t be this offended because you know it’s all false. “And you’re wrong. It’s not Jungkook that doesn’t deserve Doyeon. Jungkook was too good for Doyeon.”

And you slam your heels against the tile, stilettos pounding to the beat of the music. Your exit is full of anger and frustration as you ignore the burn in your step and the ache in your heart, flagging the first bartender you see to get you a double.

Shot for shot, that anger soon melts into guilt as Yoojung’s words sink in. The thought of Jungkook using you to get to Doyeon is terrible, you can barely stomach the thought. But that’s exactly what you’re doing, right? You’re using Jungkook to get back at Doyeon.

Why did you even want to get back at Doyeon anymore? Why do you have to prove anything to her? If she just continues to push you around, isn’t that more on her than it is on you?

Jungkook soon finds you after you’ve nursed a few drinks, leaning unceremoniously against a barstool. His eyes widen at your state, and he immediately sheds his jacket to wrap it around your waist.

“Why did you drink so much?” he chastises, “it’s the night before the wedding.”

“Jungkookie,” you warble, clutching your stomach, “I don’t feel so good.”

He sighs, bending down. “Get on my back. Make sure the jacket covers you up, okay?”

He doesn’t even grunt when you put all your weight on him, feeling like a ragdoll as he hoists you up. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, letting him carry you to your room. Most of the older family already went upstairs to sleep, so none of your cousins could care less when they see you get hauled away by Jungkook.

You inhale, he smells like sweat and cologne. “I like putting my head between your neck,” you babble, and you feel Jungkook chuckle through his chest, “you smell so nice there. It’s the bestset! Comfiest place ever, ‘specially when m’sleepy.”

“Are you sleepy now, baby?” You love how smooth the petname falls from his lips.

“I will be when we get upstairs,” you reply, happy to see the elevator is empty. “I’m just all up in my head.”

“Is that why you were drinking so much? You said you were gonna stop earlier.”

“Yeah, but,” you shamefully tuck your head in his shoulder, “I was frustrated.”

“Frustrated? At who?” concern laces his tone as he struggles to hold you with one hand and fumble for his key in the other. You tighten your legs around his slim waist until the door clicks open, and he immediately walks over to your bed to plop you down. “Babe, are you crying?” he finally has a good look at your face, horrified to see the streaks of tears mixed with mascara running down your face.

“I wa-was jealous,” you confess tearily, clutching your face in your hands, “some girls in the bathroom were calling you sexy and that you were only here so you could try to win over Doyeon. I know it sounds ridiculous and you would never do that but. The thought of you getting back with her makes me so jealous and I hate it! I’m starting to feel so guilty about this, all of this. I put all of this on ourselves and I’m ruining it.”

“Ruining what? You’re not making any sense.” Jungkook places a hand on your knee, crouching down so he can look up at you.

“I’m ruining us,” you gush despondently, “I’m ruining any potential of us before we even start.”

Jungkook freezes, hand clutching your knee like a lifeline. The potential of you two together? You’ve thought of that? Jungkook didn’t drink much tonight, so his mind is definitely running on all cogs.

Coming to a conclusion, he rubs slow, soothing circles on your knee, his other hand reaching up to wipe the tears from your face. “You’re not ruining anything,” he declares firmly, “that’s impossible. I may have agreed to fake-date you because of Doyeon, but I stayed because of you.”

His heart aches seeing you so upset, and he decides to take initiative to get you out of your clothing and ready for bed. You don’t have any words, opting to let Jungkook take care of you as you try to calm yourself down. He finds a spare t-shirt, a long one so you’ll be comfortable. He doesn’t bat an eye when he unzips your dress, in favor of balling up the shirt and getting you clothed as fast as possible. He rifles through the bathroom to find your makeup wipes, and he’s gentle when he scrubs up the once pretty makeup you spent half an hour doing. Barefaced and fresh, you look sleepy and ready to crash.

But before Jungkook can tuck you in, you clutch his arm.

“Jungkook,” you murmur sleepily, “I think I lo—”

“I know, baby,” he doesn’t want a confession like this, and he’s sure you wouldn’t want it either. You still look a little green and you’re not sober, so he makes the executive decision to pin these feelings for later. “I’m not trying to invalidate you, I promise. I want you to tell me this, all of this in the morning. We’ll talk then.”

“Okay,” you melt in the sheets, pulling the blankets up to your chest. When you see Jungkook move away from the bed, you jolt, “Where are you going?”

Jungkook smiles, reaching over to tuck you back in, “I left my blazer in Namjoon’s room. I’ll be right back, okay?”

He walks out of your room as quietly as he can, making sure to close the door slowly. Once it’s sealed shut, he leaps up, giving himself a silent cheer as he bounds down the hall. You like him back!

The smile on his face is tired but full of fervor as he makes his way to Namjoon and Doyeon’s suite. He doesn’t even care that he probably has to talk to Doyeon to get his jacket back, thoughts filled with the excitement of his requited feelings and going back to his room to cuddle up with you.

He doesn’t even have to knock when the large double doors swing open. Dumbfounded, he looks down at Doyeon, wearing a tiny black nightie and dangling his jacket with one finger. It’s an outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination, and he feels his neck heat up at the feeling he’s encroaching on an intimate moment.

“You left this,” she says slowly, a tiny smirk on her lips.

“Uh, thanks,” he says, making sure not to touch her when he grabs his blazer.

In her other hand she holds up her room’s designated ice bucket. “Could you also get me some ice, please? Namjoon’s fast asleep and I really don’t want to walk out all… exposed.”

He swallows his sigh, knowing it’s going to take significantly longer to get back to you when Doyeon drawls like this. “Of course,” he replies tersely, “after all, you are the bride.”

“Thanks, Jungkookie.”

He makes quick work of getting Doyeon the ice, pumping his long legs down the hall. The ice room is cold and cramped, barely enough for his tall frame to fit in. He jabs the container in the holder, pressing the button ten times per second to get as much ice out as possible.

As soon as he turns around with the ice, he drops the whole bucket.

Like glass, it shatters onto the ground, hundreds of little clear pebbles skimming across the floor like marbles. Doyeon’s pushing Jungkook against the ice machine, freshly manicured hands splayed across his chest. Her body is flush against his, making sure that he feels all of her with her thin silk gown.

“What the fuck, Doyeon get off of me!” a little part of him hopes she’ll come to her senses on her own so he doesn’t have to put his hands on her.

“C’mon, Kookie,” her voice is a sickly candy sweet, her eyes wide with hunger as she takes in his form, “just one more night, you and me. Like old times. One more night before I tie the knot.”

“You’re crazy,” he balks, running his hand through his hair, “this is sexual harassment, do you know that?”

“You don’t mean that, Kookie,” Doyeon dips a red-tipped nail down his chest, “why settle for someone like y/n when I’m right here?”

He grabs her wrists, firm. She winces at the contact, but doesn’t say anything when Jungkook delivers her a scary glare. It gets her quiet, fearful of this version of Jungkook. Doyeon’s never seen Jungkook like this before, so unwilling to bend at her whim and emanating all his power against her.

“Why settle for your cousin?” he whispers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “because, I love her.”

Her lip curls in disgust, nails digging into the palm of his hand. “But you loved me first.”

“And I’ll love her last,” he spits pack, letting go of her. His anger splits for a brief second, regarding Doyeon with sorrow, “this is low, even for you.”

Jungkook pushes past the ice, wobbling out of the ice room. He doesn’t look back, he just knows that he needs you right now. He needs to tell you everything, figure out a plan to cancel the wedding or something.

But when he crashes inside the room, you’re dead asleep. He can’t find the courage to wake up Seokjin as well, who returned and is sleeping in his club outfit. He groans, feeling useless as he stares at the two of you, ignorant of what just conspired ten minutes ago.

And Namjoon, what is he going to tell Namjoon? Poor guy doesn’t deserve any of this.

Walking up to your side of the bed, he tucks your loose hair behind your ear. You look so peaceful now, so beautiful.

It’s just going to have to wait until the morning.

The morning of the wedding, you wake up alone.

The first thought that runs through your head is that Jungkook has rejected you. The little, insecure bug that will never go away in your brain fills you with rash thoughts. He’s on a flight half way back home and he regrets this whole week.

But after that exaggeration, you notice two aspirin and a bottle of water on your nightstand, along with your phone that’s fully charged.

You pull up the screen to check the dozens of messages that flood your app.

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: morning babe, im sorry i had to leave early. Namjoon showed up at our door freaking out that his suit is the wrong fit and shade. Now im running around vegas trying to find a replacement that doesn’t look like an elvis presley extra

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: but i didn’t forget what you said last night, i promise! Just go get ready and i’ll meet u at the chapel outside the resort.

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: i also have something to say to you

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: wow i didn’t realize how ominous that sounds. Dw, everything will be fine

When someone tells you something will be fine, it’s a universal agreement that no, things will not be fine.

So you get dressed, and put on your makeup mindlessly. You don’t really know what to make of Jungkook’s cryptic message, but you decide to leave those thoughts in the back of your mind as you go to the other rooms to help your family get ready.

Seokjin is busy tying the ring bearer’s tie, looking handsome with his slicked back hair and polished grey suit. “Morning, cousin,” he sing-songs, “you look beautiful today!”

You smooth out your dress, a cascading silver number with starry sparkles. You feel like you’re living out your magical girl fantasies, wrapped up in layers of tulle and a sparkly sweetheart bodice.

“Right back at you. Say, you didn’t see Jungkook this morning, did you?”

“No, but I heard he’s with Namjoon hunting for a new suit. Why?”

“Nothing,” you lean against the guest table, “he just said something really ominous over text.”

“I will never get a peaceful day so long as I’m in this family,” he says this directly to the ring bearer, a toddler who’s obviously confused at his uncle’s weird sayings.

Your phone beeps conveniently, displaying Jungkook’s name.

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: just got his suit. We’ll be there in fifteen. Meet me at the garden behind the chapel, please. It’s urgent

Now you’re just worried. So you tell Seokjin your sentiments, and that he should have his phone on hand in case you needed him. With a confused nod, you leave him to go down to the garden.

The groomsmen and bridesmaids are already at the chapel taking pictures. Only the wedding party is really allowed at this time, but you manage your way through the gardens virtually undetected. Jungkook’s already waiting for you, hiding under a white gazebo overlooking the hotel’s fountain.

He looks gorgeous in his all black pinstripe suit, hair pushed back and pants fitted perfectly around his waist and thighs. When he sees you he gets up, full of skittish energy. You note that his hair isn’t even styled, only washed and curling slightly at the ends, as if he’s in a rush.

“W-wow,” he marvels when you rush up to him, “you look gorgeous.”

You drop the handful of silver tulle, letting it fall to the floor. “Jungkook,” you clasp his hand in both of his, guilt flooding your eyes. You’ve been thinking about this all morning, and you need to cut to the chase. Jungkook tries to open his mouth but you silence him with a finger on his lips. “I can’t—I can’t do this. I know this sounds really stupid and you probably don’t want anything to do with me after this, but I shouldn’t have made this elaborate scheme,” you bite your lip, feeling even more antsy as Jungkook squirms in his grip. He however, is trying very hard to focus with his eyes, confused at your sudden confession. “I like you, Jungkook. I don’t want to parade you around like a revenge plot anymore, it isn’t fair and it’s wrong in so many ways—”

“That’s great,” he says simply, brown eyes swirling with thoughts, “um, ditto. But—”

“Wow,” you frown, “I pour my heart out to you and this is what I get?”

“It’s great that you want to be selfless right now,” Jungkook takes your hand, firm and tight, “but without this elaborate scheme, we wouldn’t be saving asses like we are right now.”

“What are you talking about?” You thought Jungkook rushed you down here so you could talk about each other’s feelings before the wedding.

“Doyeon just threw herself on me last night. I got her ice and she took that as an invitation to seduce me like an episode of Sex and the City. Namjoon needs to divorce her, like yesterday.”

Your face then morphs into something dark and ugly, and you fling your whole confession out the window. The thought of Doyeon going as far as throwing herself on Jungkook as a last ditch attempt to get back at you, has you seeing blood red. “What? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner!”

“You were asleep!” he shoots back, putting his hands on your shoulders. He rubs warm strokes up and down your bare arms, “please relax. You’re shaking.”

“And why didn’t you tell Namjoon when you were driving around all morning?”

“I tried to!” he retorts, hands swinging in the air. You huff when his hands land back on your shoulders, preventing you from running to the chapel to extract Doyeon out yourself, “but he just kept talking shit about how much he loves Doyeon and he can’t imagine being together with anyone but her and I felt so bad! I’m sorry I chickened out. I really don’t wanna be the one to break Namjoon’s heart. I’m just the plus one!”

You pinch your brows, mulling it over. “Fuck it, let’s crash a wedding,” you declare, “where’s Namjoon and how can we get him alone?”

Jungkook exhales, a hand carding up to loosen his thin silver tie. “He’s taking pictures with the groomsmen right now. It’s gonna be awhile before we get a chance to talk.”

“Fuck,” you curse, sitting down on the white bench. Jungkook presses soothing circles on your back. “We have no choice, we have to get to him before the ceremony starts.”

“You’ll have to get through me, first.”

Doyeon’s not even in her wedding dress when she strides up to the two of you. She’s in ballet flats with her hair and makeup done, but the only thing she’s wearing is the thin underdress of her actual ball gown, a simple silk negligee that reaches her ankles. You don’t even know how she’s managed to escape the bridal party, especially without her dress.

Feeling protective, you step in front of Jungkook. “Before you say anything,” you murmur, “I’m not ruining your wedding, and I never wanted to. You’re ruining it because of your mistakes.”

“Oh, boo-hoo,” Doyeon rolls her eyes, playing with her nails, “I didn’t even do anything wrong, everyone knows that on the bachelorette’s night she can do whatever she wants. Namjoon could’ve fucked whoever too if he wasn’t so faithful.”

“Namjoon is ten times the partner you are and would never do that,” You’re seeing red, unable to comprehend the complete garbage spilling from Doyeon’s lips. “You touched my boyfriend without his consent, and I will never forgive you for that,” your voice is scarlet, angry and thin.

“It’s not like he isn’t used to it, I—”

“NO!” the sound that comes out of your mouth has all three of you flinching, and you’re thankful the gazebo is far enough so that the rest of the wedding party is oblivious to your actions. “You’re not allowed to justify yourself anymore, Doyeon. What you did was fucked up, what you’ve done to all of us is fucked up!” You realize now that you didn’t need to get back at Doyeon with a fake date, what you needed was this. You needed a reprieve, a chance to lay down your law. “Jungkook was right all along. You are jealous. You’re jealous and selfish and have no shame. You think you own whatever you set your eyes on, but you’re wrong. We’re not objects, we’re people.”

You walk up to Doyeon, eye to eye. You jab a hand at her chest, pushing her back slightly. You soak up your cousin’s expression, and you watch as Doyeon’s eyes pop out in surprise at your act of boldness. “So you have a choice here. You can either swallow your pride and leave Namjoon at the aisle quietly and save whatever dignity you have left. Take your pathetic ass on the next flight back home and pack up your apartment. Or, we can start a big scene at your ceremony,” you probably look manic, filled with freshly injected power, “I know Seokin’s always wanted to yell ‘I object!’ at a wedding.”

“You have no proof,” Doyeon glares right back, taking a step closer to you. Your noses are practically touching, but you dig your heels in the white-stained wood, puffing up your chest and standing your ground.

“Doesn’t matter,” you bite back, “what matters is that Namjoon will doubt you. Namjoon knows we’d never do anything to sabotage a wedding without a valid reason. Even if you do get married tonight, we have Jungkook’s word and proof of a relationship that overlaps with his. I find this option to be far worse because it’s prolonging the inevitable,” you shrug, “I hope you two didn’t sign a prenup.”

Hot, angry tears mess up her meticulously done makeup. Black rivers carve through her porcelain skin, showing the feelings that have been dormant since been hidden under a facade. Doyeon’s eyes dart back and forth between the two of you. She’s practically vibrating in combined fear and rage, seeing blurry images and memories and regrets of what could’ve been if not for her self-absorption. And finally, your cousin comes to a decision.

“I hate you,” she emphasizes each word with the most concentrated of venoms in her tone. WIth one last look at the two of you, she stomps away. Instead of going to the direction of the chapel however, she takes the shortcut back to the hotel.

Her grave words are unsurprising, but nevertheless disappointing. A thinly veiled smile grazes your lips, sadder than ever as you watch your cousin go. “And I pity you.”

As soon as she’s gone Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to scoop you up, hugging you tightly as you fight the urge to cry again. “Oh babe, that was really hot. The way you stood your ground? That was amazing!” Jungkook takes out his silver pocket square to wipe the stray tears that threaten to ruin your makeup. “You’re so strong, don’t you know that? You did it and I’m so proud of you.”

As much as you want to revel in the affection, go back and bed and fall asleep until noon, you can’t. Grasping Jungkook by the hand, you tug him to the chapel. “C’mon,” you say, “we have to corner Namjoon.”

The groomsmen photos are done by the time you get there. Thankfully, the to-be-groom doesn’t look too occupied. His eyes widen upon seeing you two stumble from the garden of all places.

“Oh, y/n. Jungkook,” Namjoon tilts his head curiously at how winded you two look, equally flushed and out of breath. From your state, Namjoon muses that it must've taken a lot of effort to finally get to the groom unattended, save for a few random family members he’s making small talk with, “The wedding isn’t for another hour but I must say, you two look radiant together. Doyeon always thought you’d end up an old spinster-catlady, but I always told her that you’re too beautiful to be single for long,” he pauses to send the aforementioned man a wink, “Jungkook’s a lucky guy. What were you two doing back there?”

“Uh, things?” Jungkook scratches the back of his head, not wanting to reiterate the fiasco between Doyeon moments before.

Namjoon smirks at the ebony-haired man, “Couple things?”

You can’t take this needless small talk anymore. With a teary groan, you throw yourself at Namjoon. You hug him tight, and you don’t even care when you feel a slosh of his water bottle sprinkle your hairstyle.

“Joonie,” you bemoan, “please, please don’t leave me. You’re the best not-cousin ever. I know it’ll be a pain to face Doyeon after today but you’re a strong independent man and when you’re ready Jin is single and ready to mingle—ow! Jungkook! Did you just pinch my ass?”

“Do you really think setting him up with the next cousin is the best idea right now?”

“I figured a little humor would lighten the blow,” you sulk.

“I’m sorry what—what blow?” Namjoon frowns, pushing you away from him. “Y/n, have you been crying?”

The tears resurface at that moment, like a kettle on overboil. Namjoon’s face is knitted together, unable to grasp at any conclusion. Namjoon feels something grave is upon the sky as he tenderly brushes away your tears with his thumbs before releasing you. Instantly Jungkook pulls you to his chest, patting you soothingly. As much as you two do not want to be the bearer of bad news, the time is now.

“Namjoon,” Jungkook says, finding the strength that was previously stuck in his throat, “we have to tell you something.”

Needless to say, Las Vegas is very forgiving when it comes to last minute wedding cancellations.

The whole wedding party, both Namjoon and yours, collectively feels like a whole ice bucket has been dumped upon your families. You would like to say that the whole issue was handled mess free, but that would be a bald-faced lie.

There was screaming, crying, hysterical laughter from all sides. Doyeon’s parents were of course furious, embarrassed, unable to calm down a hysterical Doyeon as they haul her on the next flight home. You have a feeling they won’t be showing up to family events anytime soon.

Namjoon’s family leaves quietly, frustrated, but classy. After all, they know at the back of their heads they dodged a bullet. Everyone leaves except Namjoon however, who isn’t quite ready to go back to his and Doyeon’s apartment. Namjoon invites Seokjin and some other close cousins to stay in his suite until their flight tomorrow afternoon, wanting to be surrounded by close friends and (almost) family.

As for your family, they decide to find the silver lining. While the chapel was able to cancel the wedding, the reception wasn’t as easy to sway. At the very last second, your grandparents decided to make use of the reception and renew their Golden Anniversary vows instead. The ceremony will be a quick, sweet affair. At this very moment, your cousin Yoongi is getting officiated online.

And for you? You’re in the place where you’ve wanted to remain all week. A fluffy hotel bed wrapped up with your not-boyfriend.

Or?

Would a not-boyfriend be snuggling against your chest like you’re the softest teddy bear in the toy shop? Would a not-boyfriend be hooking your leg atop his lap, forcing you to latch onto him so his hands can roam freely against your soft thighs?

“We have to get ready for the wedding,” you whine against his hold, to no avail when he only holds you tighter.

“But your grandparents are already married,” Jungkook whines right back, nuzzling his nose in your head. “This is like an afterparty fifty years later.”

“I wanna get dressed,” you insist, pushing yourself up, “and we still need to talk.”

Without Seokjin staying with you, the hotel room feels much bigger and freer for the two of you. Your clothes are scattered on the floor, uncaring of any wrinkles or smears that would get on the delicate fabric.

All that matters is that Jungkook is still here with you. Doyeon’s wedding is called off, but he’s still lying in bed with you. You want to burn this image to memory, and keep it forever. Jungkook laying in only his white undershirt and boxers, looking at you dreamily as if he’s still in nap-mode. Hair that was previously windswept and exposing his forehead is now out of place, fluffy and sticking out in all directions. His cheeks are flushed with coral-colored warmth, and a little puffy because you two have been sleeping most of the afternoon.

“Right, talk,” he repeats, letting you hand him his black button up so he can clothe himself.

You throw off your shirt somewhere behind you, not wanting to face him as you walk to the full-length mirror. “So, I think my feelings for you are pretty clear and out in the open…”

“Same, I think I made it pretty clear as well.”

“What? You turn around, looking at where he’s still half-covered in bed. “You did not. I distinctly remember almost confessing my love to you last night. And then this morning, only for you to cut me off and say ‘that’s great’.”

“Oh,” he stares at the white sheets that cover his lower half. “I guess I didn’t then.”

You smile wryly, turning back to face the mirror so you can slip into your dress that’s been pooled around your ankles like a silver halo. “Maybe you thought it in your mind and forgot to tell me.”

That seems about right. Jungkook has a tendency to be a little too passionate for his own good, windswept in thoughts and feelings until they consume him. He hops out of bed, walking only in his dress shirt and socks as he makes his way to the mirror. “Then let me do all the talking,” he says softly against your neck, hands on your hips.

You shiver when you feel the cold silver of the zipper whirr up your body, Jungkook’s large hands splaying across your back to smooth out the waistline.

“You of all people would know that being with Doyeon is a trip,” he chuckles into the crook of your neck, “I thought that was what love felt like. Being codependent, jumping through hurdles, trying so hard to please someone who can’t be pleased.”

Jungkook’s hands wrap around your waist, hugging you tightly. He squeezes you and holds you like the most precious thing in the entire world. Through the mirror, you two are quite a pair.

“But with you, I never knew love could be like this, feel like this.”

“So… are you saying you love me?” you fight the urge to bounce around in his grip, the biggest smile on your face.

“You really just want me to say ‘I love you’ and be done with it, huh?”

Within seconds he’s pulling you from behind, whirling you around to the edge of the bed. He manages to flouce up your skirts to billow around his lap, sitting you down on his bare thighs.

“You look like a cupcake, all sprawled up like this,” Jungkook says cutely, peppering kisses in a trail from your chest all the way to your lips. “You look like a huge, silvery cupcake and I love you. It’s so easy to love you.”

Maybe it was kismet that Jungkook didn’t get to you first all those years ago. Maybe the right time is right here, right now.

“I love you, too,” you say happily, dipping down to press a long, passionate kiss to his lips. He tastes like love and a happy future. When you pull away, you encapsulate his face in both your palms, regarding him like the sun and stars. “But you know, if we date you’ll never get away from my crazy family.”

Jungkook snorts, pressing his forehead to yours, “And miss Yoongi re-marrying off your grandparents tonight, the next year of Seokjin and Namjoon running circles around each other, and a lifetime of happiness?” his hands snake under your dress, finding purchase in your soft skin, “not a chance.”

#jungkook x reader #gcn23 #goldenclosetnet #btsghostie #kwritersworldnet #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst

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jeonfiles · 3 years ago

Text

once more to see you | kth 01

pairing: taehyung x reader ft. seokjin

genre: angst, fluff, unrequited love

synopsis: taehyung is the complete opposite of you, and you're so in love with him. he's not interested in you at all, but he's willing to pretend so he won't be known for breaking the sweetest girl in school's heart. he knows you'll end up hurt either way.

warnings: taehyung is an idiot, a lot of pining, y/n is annoyingly dependent on validation, y/n does a lot of silent prayers, y/n is a track star, childhood bsf seokjin (cute), mentions of deceased family member

music for this chap: she had the world , carry me out

a/n: taehyung will disappoint u in the beginning but hes cute i promise

"I get why you like him Y/N," Sohee swallowed the rest of her sandwich before finishing her sentence, "He's so hot. People say he's interested in you too, y'know?"

Sohee visibly tried to get food out from the back of her mouth using her tongue, and it made you chuckle at the sight. "I don't think he does." You sighed, resting your chin in your palm.

You were both situated at the table in the inner corner of the cafeteria, with a full view of who walks in the door, and sometimes you swore you could see Sohee drool when attractive guys walked in that exact door.

"Hello, of course, he does! Even his friend Jimin told Kang Seulgi from Class 1, who told Go Euntaek in class 3, who eventually told his girlfriend Baek Ho-rang who ran to me to tell me the great news." Sohee gasped for air after rambling, and you rolled your eyes,

"Stories change when that many links contribute." You scoffed, sitting back in your chair and reaching for your juice box on the table, taking a huge slurp, which you knew would annoy Sohee.

"You don't believe me? Guess we gotta ask a link closer to the source then." Sohee stood up from her chair, and you looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Park Jimin, get your ass over here will ya?" She nearly shouted across the cafeteria, and now all looks were pointed at you two, and you felt the urge to just slip down the cracks of the floor tiles and hide there forever grow stronger for each nanosecond.

You sunk further down on your tacky, orange chair, but you could still see Jimin's black locks sway a little over the crowd as he walked over to the table you were sitting at.

"What's up sugar?" Jimin smirked at Sohee, and Sohee didn't even budge, and you had no idea how she did it. He was stupidly attractive and could make any girl drop her pants with a comment like that.

"Jimin my dearest, a little birdie told me that Taehyung likes my sweet Y/N, could you confirm?" She batted her long lashes and smiled prettily at Jimin.

He looked to the left, sucked his teeth, and said, "I can't, I'm sorry." You realized you had grown a little too hopeful, and your heart sunk quite a bit when he spoke.

"Does he think I'm pretty at least?" You spoke up, eyes shining when you looked up towards the standing Jimin, the harsh lights in the cafeteria reflecting in them.

"He hasn't mentioned you much, to be quite honest." He shrugged, walking back to his table, where Taehyung and the rest of his friends sat.

Your heart thumped when he met your eyes, and you looked away in panic. The rest of lunch was just Sohee apologizing and you avoiding eye contact with any of the students at the nearby tables.

Jimin mentioned you and Sohee's name several times, he was a loud speaker, and you were so scared of what he was saying you could probably die right then and there.

Saved by the bell, you picked up your stuff and got ready to start running to your classroom, praying you wouldn't meet any of Taehyung's friends, and especially not Taehyung as you ran Usain Bolt style.

You looked down while running, not thinking twice about leaving your best friend behind, you suddenly fell to the ground with a thud. This was surely not one of your glory days.

When you looked up, you wanted to cry. It was none other than Kim Taehyung, and he didn't look pleased. You gathered your things and muttered "Sorry." under your breath probably about 10 times, and he just watched, disappointingly.

"You're a klutz. Why were you running?" He spoke, and your knees turned into jelly when you tried to stand up, you nearly fell and dropped all your stuff again, but he caught you by the arm, straightening you up like it was nothing.

"Uh... Uhm... Err..." you mumbled, and he rolled his eyes, and not in a joking manner. "Fuck that, why are you going around telling people I like you?"

Your breath hitched, and he stared at you coldly. "I didn't! Gosh, my friend Sohee told me someone had told her that you liked me, and- uh... We asked Jimin, and-" He put his hand over your mouth, making you shut up.

"I don't want you two to go around making up baseless rumors about me, it's incredibly annoying for me to go around correcting people who assume shit just because your little friend speaks louder than a bunch of hyenas at a tea party." Taehyung nearly spat, and you took a step back.

You noticed that people were listening in, their stares burning holes in your back. He was livid, and you didn't understand why, you just smiled, praying to god that this would end soon.

"I just thought you liked me-" You began, and he interrupted you, "You thought I was gonna like someone like you? Get over yourself and enter the real world."

The hallway went silent, your lips trembled as hot tears raced down your face, and like the track star you were, you fled the scene and passed the finish line into the bathrooms.

You stayed till the school day ended, not knowing what was unraveling outside the four walls of the stall.

Sohee 💜: 01:12 pm

Y/N, where are you? i heard what happened :( i hate taehyung im gonna chop his sausage off

Sohee 💜: 01:38 pm

taehyung is fighting w doyoung because doyoung decided to defend you this is hilarious

but fr where are you

Sohee 💜: 01:57 pm

doyoung gave taehyung a black eye damn

doyo is on the verge of tears when taehyung said you liked him and not doyo

taehyung cant not have feelings for you like there must be smth deeper going on

Sohee 💜: 03:39 pm

class just ended i'll wait out back

Sohee always knew when to leave you alone, so she did, partially. You usually shut off your phone when you're upset, but she still sends you texts to update you whenever you turn it back on.

This time, it was quite dramatic, and you rushed out of the icky stall and ran (again) to reach Sohee to get the full story, and as you expected, it was interesting.

"Basically, Doyoung punched Taehyung and Taehyung was a little too OP, so he failed to initiate a fight, so it just turned into Taehyung being an ass to Doyoung for defending you." She shrugged, adjusting the straps of her leather backpack as you walked home.

"Taehyung's rep is so tainted right now, I don't know how he's gonna fix this my dear Y/N, so I guess he got his karma. He's an idiot and I'm glad other people are starting to see."

You nodded yes, pushing out a fake chuckle, while silently you prayed that everything would soon be back to normal and that Taehyung would forgive you for the mess you caused.

Being in love with Taehyung for a year had taken a toll on you, and your best friend since freshman year had noticed too. You were different.

You used to be so independent and optimistic, but now you would strive for validation, and you had turned into one of the most insecure people Sohee had ever met.

Sohee tried to pull you away from him, but to her demise, it only got worse when you tried to meet other guys. She figured that the only way for you to disconnect from him was if you had your go with him, or if he treated you like a complete idiot.

You waved goodbye to Sohee as you entered your house, kicking off your shoes and throwing yourself down on the couch. You wanted to scream, but you saw your brother's and another guy's shoes in your hallway, so you kept it inside.

After having watched an episode of Seinfeld, you could hear the floorboards creak, and your gaze found its way to the hallway, where your brother, Yoongi stood, peeking out from his door.

"Ah, Y/N, you're the one who's home?" He smiled brightly, eyes turning into small crescents, which made you awe at the sight.

"Yuppers." You said and sat back again, pressing play to start the next episode. "Who's your guest?" And as you uttered your last word, another head peeked out from the door, and you couldn't help but feel the happiness brew inside you.

It was Kim Seokjin in all his glory, and this time, he looked even hotter. It had been about two years since you last saw him because he moved to Germany to study medicine.

Seokjin had been your neighbor since you were born, and you pretty much grew up with two older brothers who always took care of you.

No one dared to mess with you, because Seokjin and Yoongi always got to them first. That way, you grew up without a care in the world, protected from all evil.

You had no idea when you fell in love with him. It was somewhere during puberty, where your interest in Brad Pitt and Kim Soohyun from Dream High had grown stronger.

You remember Seokjin was scouted for modeling, acting, and even idol groups all through your childhood. He did a few ads, photoshoots, a popular teenage drama called Double Trouble, and even managed to get his own Wikipedia page.

There was no doubt that Seokjin was an attractive man, and in the two years he had been gone, his face fat was completely gone, and he had defined cheekbones, a slimmer and tighter figure, and you thought he couldn't be any more perfect.

"None other than God himself," Seokjin said smugly, opening his arms to greet you with a hug, and you threw your blanket you were covered into the side as you bolted into Seokjin's arms, legs wrapped around his waist.

He slowly put you down so your feet touched the parquet, and you felt a kind of euphoria as he smiled at you again, the same smile he had flashed you as long as you could remember.

Everything about Seokjin had matured and changed, but his smile remained the same. "What are you doing back?" You sniffled, holding back the happy tears that were forming in your eyes.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I love Germany, but it's a little bland. I miss ahjumnas complimenting me on the subway and the bomb ass food here in SK." Seokjin grinned as he wiped a tear that fell down your face.

Yoongi was leaning against the door frame, smiling at the grand reunion. You knew he liked seeing you two together, and you had a small suspicion about him shipping you guys.

"Please don't ever leave again." You gripped onto his shirt, digging your face down in his chest, and he said, "I swear to god if you're wearing makeup right now-"

You laughed as you pushed him away, placing your hands below your chin and batting your eyelashes dramatically, "I'm all-natural."

"Naturally pretty." Seokjin leaned forward and whispered in your ear, and your heart did a little somersault.

Seokjin's always been a charmer.

You woke up in your room, pink sheets draped over your half-naked body as tons of messages poured in on your phone, vibrating so much it nearly fell off the edge of your nightstand.

You grab it while rubbing your eyes, and you're shocked to see the messages that had exploded on your lock screen.

Unknown: 08:39 am

Hey, it's Kim Taehyung.

Look, I'm sorry for the shit I said to you and I would love to make it up to you in some kind of way.

Maybe I could take you out?

I get it if you don't want to, but I heard you were interested in me so...

What kinda food do you like? Activities, hobbies?

I really wanna make this right :)

You: 08:43 am

oh hey! I'd love to, you kinda owe me one. if it's your treat, I suppose we could get some sushi and boba...

btw I don't like u like that

Contact made, saved as "taehyung <3" at 08:44 am

taehyung <3: 08:47 am

Okay. Meet me at Nori Table at 6 pm. Don't make me wait.

Your heart was palpitating, and when you pressed your phone up to your chest, you could feel your body heat up from your scalp to your toes.

Maybe Kim Taehyung had no interest in you right now, but he sure would after tonight. You were gonna make him love you, soon enough,

Running to the shower a few hours of Seinfeld later, you scrubbed with all your might with your newest strawberry scrub, did your makeup, curled your hair, and sat down on the couch, outfit draped over the armrest of the chair.

It was an hour till you were leaving, so for the time being you sat with hair rollers in your hair, dressed in pink sweats. Seokjin and Yoongi had been awake all night, you had heard them laugh and play Mario Cart all night, it reminded you of old times.

Old times where you went to bed crying because Yoongi and Seokjin's bedtime was later than yours at sleepovers. Thinking back, your parents made a pretty rational decision, but you resented them for it.

When Seokjin left for school in Germany, during your Sophomore year you cried again. You thought it was so unfair that you had to be two years younger, why couldn't you come with him?

You were painfully in love with him, and you had been probably since you were. A few months after he moved, your feelings faded. You were love-free, only to fall stupidly in love again with Taehyung just a year later.

You were forced to snap out of your train of thought because you heard the floorboards creak again. When you looked over at the dark hallway, you saw a tired, yet familiar face smile at you.

Seokjin looked quite disoriented, hair ruffled and eyes puffy, yet he looked like a Greek god. Sculpted to perfection, he smiled at you like he did yesterday and all the times before.

"Morning." He grunted out, his morning voice prominent. You chuckled when you looked at the time, feeling kind of bad for Seokjin who had slept away the majority of his day, which you knew he didn't like.

"It's 5 pm, cutie. Mom said you guys could order takeout, cause she's working late." You stood up, and Seokjin gave you a good look up and down, and then diverted his gaze to the lavender ruffle skirt and white long-sleeve blouse you had neatly hung over the armchair.

"What's the occasion?" He nodded over at the clothes and then your hair rollers and full-face makeup-covered face. He threw a few walnuts from the little bowl on the coffee table into his mouth.

"It's none of your business, but I have a date tonight," you said smugly, and a walnut flew out of Seokjin's mouth in shock.

"A date? Like a real one?" He frantically asked, and you nodded as you walked away with your outfit in hand.

You came back out minutes later, and Seokjin had to hold his mouth shut so it wouldn't drop to the floor. You had matured so well, a white blouse adorning your waist, and the lavender skirt hugged your curves nicely.

You had decorated your neck and ears with golden jewelry, and you had a pair of Air forces dangling from your left hand. You were beautiful, hair let free from the hair rollers, curls swaying as you did a twirl.

"It's alright, I guess." He pretended not to care, and your proud grin morphed into a frown pretty quickly, and he noticed.

He stood up and walked towards you, standing very close. His tall figure was hovering over you. Seokjin leaned forward towards your ear, not whispering this time,

"You're gorgeous." He pushed your curls behind your shoulder, adjusting your golden necklace as he returned to Yoongi's bedroom.

You were screwed.

The time on your phone showed 6:06 pm. You recall him saying ‘don’t be late’. What a hypocrite. It had started to pour down, so you were squeezed up against the brick wall of the restaurant so the ledge above you would shield you from the rain.

You were shaking from the cold, legs exposed because of your skirt. Sighing deeply, you reached down into your purse to text Taehyung, but when you looked up, you saw him running over to you.

He was holding a bouquet of pink delphinium and peonies. You’d always been interested in flowers, and this small gesture made you all fuzzy inside.

“I apologize for my late arrival m’lady. The flower shop was about to close down for the day, and I had to beg the cashier to let me in, promising to buy a huge bouquet if she did.” He smiled as he stood in front of you.

“No worries sir, I haven’t been waiting for long.” You chuckled, as you accepted the bouquet. His eyes scanned every inch of your body, and he said, “You’re shivering. Let’s go inside.”

This was a side of Taehyung you had barely seen before, caring and warm. This was also the side of him that initially made you fall for him.

The memories of him reading stories for children at the hospital was heartwarming. Whenever you went to visit your brother, who has now passed, you would see him read stories for all the unlucky kids.

Your brother, who was only 7 years old talked about Taehyung like a superhero, and it seemed as if Taehyung’s stories were the highlight of his days at the hospital.

Daejung wasn’t a kid you would pity. In his last months in the hospital he never once cried. You believed that Taehyung was a big part of the reason.

That’s why you fell in love with him. He hadn’t been a superhero in the form of saving lives, but he definitely made a whole lot of sick kids happier.

How could you ever repay him?

Taehyung rested a hand on your shoulder and lead you inside the door, and there stood a beautiful tall woman, black hair to her waist, almond-shaped eyes, and full lips.

She was beautiful. You looked up to see Taehyung’s reaction, and he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at you. His eyes met yours, and you could’ve sword the whole world stopped.

“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice spoke up, and it kicked you right back into reality. It was the pretty woman speaking, an even prettier voice to match her.

“Do you have a reservation?” She questioned, smiling so genuinely from ear to ear. “Yes. It’s on Kim.” Taehyung spoke so confidently.

“Ah, for two. I’ll be your server tonight.” She waved for you to follow her, and before she turned around, you saw her name tag.

Bae Eunmi. A pretty name for a pretty person. Of course, she had to be pretty. Your confidence sunk even lower, and your insecurities grew.

“I’m not interested in her, by the way. I’ve talked to her before. She’s all beauty and no brains. Not for me.” Taehyung whispered into your ear, possibly to reassure you.

You sat down at the table and ordered a huge plate of different types of sushi, maki, nigiri, uramaki, and even sashimi.

This restaurant was fancy, nearly too fancy for your liking. It was huge and flashy, and it made you doubt your outfit choice completely.

The restaurant fell silent since there weren’t many guests here this early. The silence wasn’t awkward between you guys. It was just, too silent, and you decided to break it.

“Do you still write stories?” Taehyung’s face froze. How did you know about the stories he wrote? Had you been stalking him? Was this when everyone would find out how weak he truly is?

“How did you find out... About them?” He asked hesitantly, fidgeting with a small woven basket with bread placed on your table.

“When sun and moon met, moon felt bad. When the moon was alone at night, he cried, because he wanted to shine just like the sun.” You quote his story word by word, it was your favorite paragraph.

He looked at you with a confused look and his eyes told you that he wondered why you knew the story so well.

Before he could speak up, you said, “My brother's name was Daejung. He looked up to you and constantly told me about how he wanted to be like you when he grew up.” You placed your hands on top of his over the table.

Taehyung was speechless. He sat there, body completely frozen as he processed what you just said. The little boy he had mourned for many months was the same flesh and blood as you.

“Daejung told me how he wanted me to marry you because he thought no one else deserved me.” Letting go of his hands, he continued sitting completely still.

First, he felt disappointed in himself. Disappointed of the way he had treated you, how sad Daejung would be if he knew.

Second, he could see him in your traits. Your button nose matched his completely, and your eyes sparkled just the way his eyes did.

Third, he realized he had to take care of you. Fall in love with you, for Daejung. Taehyung had promised the little boy to take care of his friends and family when he has at his worst.

His expression completely changed. It softened, and his eyes looked at you like you were godsent. He believed you were too. It was fate.

join the “once more to see you” taglist

a/n: u guys know the angst isn't over lol u guys r never gonna see the light at the end of the tunnel ! this chapter was originally a bit longer but i have to test the waters and seeing how u guys like it !! pls reblog <3

#taehyung ff #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #bts imagines #bts ff #bts taehyung #taehyung x you #taehyung x reader #bts v #seokjin angst #seokjin ff #seokjin smut #taehyung smut #fuckboy!taehyung #popular!taehyung #bts x reader #bts x oc #bts

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beef-brisket · 24 days ago

Note

Adam glared at Lute. Who the fuck did this bitch think she is?! Threatening his mate.

Adam: You're going to regret saying that, cunt. If even ONE of you look at him, I'll decimate this entire fucking place! And every single one of you!

Lucifer eyed as the angelic Army tensed up a backed away slightly. They knew they didn't stand a chance. And if they wanted Lucifer, they'd have to get close to Adam.

Lute: Don't make us do this. Please, Adam.

Adam: I'm not making you do anything. I just came to reclaim what was rightfully mine!

Lucifer jumped as he heard a voice in his head. It sounded familiar. Caring. Looking around carefully, he noticed who it was.

Emily: Lucifer. I hear you have something that can cage his power. Making him human?

Lucifer: Yes, but I altered it it before we came here. He can take it off, Emily. It's useless.

Emily: Not entirely. I can add my caging magic to it. He won't be able to touch it.

Lucifer looked back at Adam, who was getting more and more worked up at the angelic army. They looked either ready to run or ready to attack.

Emily: please, Lucifer-

Lucifer: Promise me he won't get hurt. You'll let us leave- your soldiers won't hurt him

Emily: I promise

Adam: You really think you can stop me!? How many of you dud I put down the last time I was here?! Do you know how weak I was then!? And now you think you really have a chance!? I'll fuxking destroy all of you! Then after you- I'll go after your God! Too bad you won't be able to hear him beg!

Lucifer reached into his pocket and pulled out the bracelet. This was it. His only chance. This will save him. Bring back his sweet Adam.

Adam: get ready to die, bitch-!

Adam felt himself fall to the ground, Lucifers' weight becoming unbearable. He looked down and saw that he was weak again. In a form that he hates more than anything.

Adam quickly turned to Lucifer: the fuck!? The fuck did you do, Luci!?

Lucifer: i-i can't let you-

Adam tried to stand, but he was too weak.

Adam: luci- fucking why-? AGHH!

Lucifer: NO!

Lucifer watched in slow motion as Lute speed forward and stabbed her spear through Adams chest.

She backed away instantly. Leaving the spear behind.

Adam gripped the spear. Everyone had betrayed him. Emily, his mother, his love. But Lucifer had a good reason. He always did.

Adam tried to crawl away, but everything hurt. He felt like nothing was working properly. He felt himself collapse, but Lucifer was quickly at his side. He couldn't hear much, but judging by Lucifer's, he wasn't happy.

Lucifer: you fucking promised! You said he'd be fine! You'll let him go!

Emily: I'm sorry, Lucifer. But he's too dangerous to be allowed to live. You've seen what he's capable. I know you've seen his memories. You know the monster he is. The real him.

Lucifer looked down and held Adam close. He was so weak that his breathing was getting slower. And shallower.

He knew Adam was angry, but he didn't have the energy's.

Adam could feel his eyes wanting to close. But he doesn't want to leave. He felt so cold, but Lucifer was so warm. He didn't want to leave his love. But he knew he had no choice. Where will he go when he dies? Everyone always told him he had no soul. Maybe he'll just become nothing.

He looked at Lucifers eyes. They were crying and angry. He shouldn't be angry.

Lucifer: w-why-? Y-you pronised! You-

Lucifer ms eyes widened and looked down, Adam was holding his hand. The bracelet. He'll take it off. Just like all of those other times.

Emily: don't bother. No human can take it off. Especially you

Lucifer screamed at her. Awkwardly holding Adam closer, that dam spear in his chest getting in the way.

Lucifer: i-im so sorry, my love. I won't leave you. I promise. I'm so sorry

Lucifer cradled himself around Adam to protect him from the angels.

Adam: l-love you...

Lucifer kissed his forehead: I love you. So much. My Adam. I love you. I love you... please, I'm so sorry...

BOO

@fanofstuff01 BOO TO YOU TO BOOO

Happy spooky month! This is bullshit! I'm in pain and have a headache, so take this au, my beautiful online friends!

Dentist!Adam au.

He's a menace. He's not even a real dentist. He just walked into a random dental office and put on a uniform.

I feel sorry for whoever his patients are because fuck numbing- he just pulls out the fucking tooth. And it's usually the wrong tooth. So you have to go back.

He's the only dentist in this area, so good luck finding someone else.

You'll either get your teeth cleaned or he'll ride you- there's no in-between.

People honestly prefer having sex with him because he's actually really fucking hot. As you can guess, people really don't like it if he's in his working heads pace.

Penitent: I- uh- I'm here for 69ing-!

Adam: Sorry, babe, but that canine's gotta come out. Maybe next time~

He fucking eats the teeth. He's a fucked up tooth fairy. He doesn't make the rules.

Then Lucifer comes in. A monster hunter and collector of bones. Monster bones.

He hears about some creepy fuck taking people's teeth out, so he goes to see what's up.

He gets an appointment, but he doesn't let Adam touch him. He instantly knows what he is because he's got the sharpest fucking teeth.

Adam is instantly infatuated with this guy. He loves monster hunters. They taste great.

And Adam thinks this guy is going to be an easy kill because holy shit, this guy is so fucking small.

Lucifer doesn't reeeally want to kill Adam because even though he's creepy, he hasn't killed anyone. So, he finds the basement where Adam lives and ties him up.

Adam: ooh~, what are you going to do to me, Mr big, bad monster hunter~?

Lucifer: I'll going to take your head once I find a fucking person you've killed

Adam: take my head, huh? Oh, baby~, I'd rather take yours~. Allll night~.

Lucifer: ...

Did the real dentist fuck off or something lmao I'm loving this though.

Lucifer: Seriously?

Adam: Yeah, I see the outline from here big boy.~ I can take it.~

Lucifer: You eat people's teeth like potato chips.

Adam: Girls gotta eat babe.~

319 notes · View notes

hyuckssunchip · 3 years ago

Text

Reputation

Pairings: Johnny x Reader, ft. nct 127

Words: 4.3K

Warnings: Language (there is almost always language in my writings), angst, some fluff

Request: Angst 42 and 48 ➵ “You promised.” “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.” / @jungcherie

(im so sorry i took so long.... i turned a drabble into a story... oops)

Johnny Suh had a reputation that was unmatched.

There was no other way to put it.

And a reputation like his left trails of tears.

A pool of tears that you were currently drowning in.

It was obvious Johnny was dangerous, perhaps that’s why you were drawn to him. While every single one of your instincts had you fighting and rejecting him, you were desperate for him all the more.

It was March 13th that you lost your first will.

“Y/N, right?”

You turned around to find a familiar face towering over you.

“Yeah.”

It was that stupid smile that had you.

“Hey, we have have Communications together. I was wondering if you wanted to do that project together?” He scratched the back of his neck like he was embarrassed. “I just know that you’re insanely smart so... Sorry, wait, that sounds like I’m just talking to you for your grades.”

You giggled nervously, a habit that you did when you were uncomfortable.

“Look, I just... do you? You know, wanna do the project together? I mean, I’m a pretty smooth talker so I can do the presentation. I get good grades too...”

Stupid smile.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. There’s actually a little party at my frat tonight, you maybe wanna come? Get to know each other before we drown in work?”

Fucking stupid smile.

“Yeah. I’d like that.” You blushed at the idea, cursing at yourself for being so obvious.

Parties weren’t really your thing.

But at the time Johnny Suh was.

Your ears were pounding because of the insanely loud level the music was at. You were actually shocked that no one had called the cops with a noise complaint, but the fact that they were on frat row made more sense.

“Y/N. You made it.” A arm was flung over your shoulder and, thankfully the lights were both dim and flashing enough that he couldn’t see the way that you blushed at the action.

“Yeah. Is it always this loud?” You asked, still not so comfortable with the atmosphere.

“What?” Johnny yelled, pointing at his ear, indicating that he couldn’t hear you. Of course he fucking couldn’t. Then he jerked his thumb to the right, nodding at the backyard, which was seemingly empty.

With his hand placed on your back, he guided you outside, your head already thanking him from the escape of noise pollution. It was far better outside of the house.

The two of you collapsed onto the swinging chair, sighing as you cleared your head.

“So parties aren’t really your thing?” Johnny leaned closer, noting the look of relief that you had donned the moment you exited.

“It’s not that I hate them... I’m just not a fan. I mean a bunch of sweaty, horny drunk people grinding on each other. I just like smaller things.” You explained, staring up at the dark sky, shivering slightly at the cool breeze.

“You didn’t have to come.” Johnny suddenly looked guilty, “I didn’t mean to force you into coming, I just... thought I’d invite you.”

You quickly backtracked, “No, you didn’t force me. If I didn’t want to come, I wouldn’t have.” You ignored the voice in the back of your head that begged to differ.

“Right.” He grinned, as if he could read your mind. “You’re not great at lying, but I’m gonna pretend that I believe you.”

You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“Were you playing beer pong?” You asked suddenly, causing him to look at you in confusion.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

You laughed, looking away from him, “You have quite the reputation Mr. Suh, even someone like me knows the extent of your skills.”

Johnny smirked, liking how easy you were making it for him. “Is that so? Is that the only skill of mine you’ve heard about?”

You raised your eyebrows, hating the turn that your mind took. “W-what kind of other skills did you have in mind?” You stuttered out.

Suddenly it felt like you were caged in, his arms tense around your frame, causing you to lean back against the back of the swing.

“Tell me what you’ve heard.”

You averted your eyes, unable to take his heavy gaze. His eyes had turned dark, full of lust, and you tried desperately to forget the effect they were having on you.

As if sensing how uncomfortable you were getting, he backed off, dusting off some invisible dirt on his shoulder. He cocked his head to the side with a sly smile, happy with a new challenge.

Things weren’t going to be as easy as he thought they were, but that’s what made it fun.

“No that’s so stupid. Are you kidding me? Robin could absolutely never beat Batman. Is that even a question?” Your hands were waving animately, far too much for an argument about fictional superheroes.

“Sure. I’m just saying that Robin could totally catch him off guard, like out of the blue, you know.” Johnny slurped on his drink shrugging his shoulders like he didn’t care.

“No. Absolutely not. First of all Robin doesn’t have the guts to do something like that and second of all Robin doesn’t have any powers. How on Earth would he beat him?”

“Umm... Batman doesn’t have powers either.” He made a duh face at you, which you chose to ignore.

“Yeah, well he’s got money, and that’s basically a super power.”

“Let’s be real, Batman isn’t even really a real superhero. He’s just a hero. Period.”

You huffed, rolling your eyes at the argument. “That’s a whole different story.”

“I’m just saying.” He sang back teasingly.

“And I’m just saying that this is stupid. How did we even get here?” You laughed, trying to remember how this conversation came about.

“Uh, you made the bold choice of saying that the Batman vs. Superman movie was shit. Very controversial by the way.” He frowned at the memory.

You let your bag fall heavily on the library table, earning you a few glares as studying students dug into their books.

You sent an apologetic look before sliding into your seat. “Let’s just get this presentation done. Our presentation date is the 23rd and I don’t even have a clue of what to write it on.”

“Well the topic is influencers that change your life. Do you have anyone in mind?”He asked, flipping through his notebook, which didn’t really have anything but drawings in them.

“Not really, is there anyone for you? I mean influencer is kind of vague isn’t it? We could pick like an athlete too, or a musician. Those are technically influencers right?”

He nodded, resting his chin on his hand. “Yeah. Influencers don’t even have to be famous do they? Like they can just be someone in your life that made a huge impact on you. Like your parents or something.”

“Yeah, I guess. But that’s kind of hard when you’re working in groups. Like you’re not gonna want to talk about my grandma, you know. Like you don’t even know her. It’s probably just easier to use a famous icon.”

“Okay, so who?” He leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling like it would give him inspiration.

“Hmmm... maybe we could do someone like Michael Jackson. Like he may not have affected us personally, but he affected the way that the music and performance was seen afterwards. That’s influential and life changing right?”

“I guess.” He cocked his head, “We could at least start with brainstorming ideas for him and then if we feel like it’s not working we can change it.”

“Cool. I guess we can start with that then.”

And you did. You spent every afternoon for the next week and half with each other in the library, and a little more outside of it.

“That one’s the big dipper.”

You grinned following his finger, but had more difficulty finding exactly what he saw.

“How do you know it’s not the little dipper?” You teased, squinting in to the dark, the scattered stars really just looking like paint splatters to you.

“Because that’s the little dipper.” He laughed, moving his index finger slightly to the right.

“Oh.”

Johnny leaned back into your space, smiling at you look of concentration quickly falling as you gave up.

“Where’s the North Star?” You asked turning to face him, but sucking in a harsh breath when you found your nose just centimeters from his.

Johnny lowered his voice, whispering and pointing without even turning away, “Right there, it’s the tail of the little dipper.”

It took more effort than you thought to pull away, eyes searching for it.

He leaned back, resting his body weight on his hands. “See it? It’s the brightest one.”

“No,” You pouted scooting forward, as if that would help you see it. “Oh, wait! I see it!”

Johnny couldn’t stop himself from grinning as he saw your face light up.

“Wow.” Suddenly your tone turned more mellow, still in awe. “I’ve always wanted to find the North Star.”

Johnny’s chest rumbled with laughter. “Why?”

“Well you know. They say if you get lost, just follow the North Star home.” You turned to face him, eyes sparkling with excitement, but the sound of your voice had gone quiet, almost somber. The smile on your face faded into a sad smile as you all but whispered your next words. “Now I can go home.”

Johnny frowned next to you, not liking the sudden turn in mood. He sat up, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you against his chest.

“What makes you think that you’re not home right now?” He mumbled on the top of your head, staring straight out in the dark.

“I don’t know. I can just feel it, you know? Like I’m just constantly uneasy.” You sighed, digging your face into his jacket. “I think I’ll be able to tell when I get there.”

There was something in Johnny’s chest that suddenly ached, and he felt a sharp drop in his stomach at the thought.

“Maybe you’ll only ever know once you’ve left home.” He muttered, “Then you’ll know that this is actually what it feels like, and it’s so much worse when you leave.”

You stilled against him for a moment before relaxing, mulling over the thought. “That’s so sad though. Why do we only know we’re happy once we’re sad?”

Johnny shook his head slowly. “I don’t know. Why does God make us hurt to only to help us heal?”

The sound of the wind passing through trees was the only thing that comforted you at the thought.

“I don’t want to have to heal, I don’t want to hurt in the first place.” You whisper out, feeling the most vulnerable you had in a long time.

“I’ll never hurt you.” He rubbed at your arms soothingly, feeling a lump in the back of his throat, but he pushed it away not liking the unfamiliar feeling.

“Promise?”

“Of course.”

You let your eyes fall, enjoying just the silence and comfort of each other’s arms and minds.

You woke up wrapped in Johnny’s arms, although it was an unfamiliar feeling you welcomed it with open arms.

Lost in your thoughts for the time being you were suddenly reminded of the conversation you had a couple nights ago.

Was this home?

You had never felt so safe before and it scared you. But you weren’t one to run.

“Good morning.” Johnny mumbled out beside you, his morning voice raspy to the ear.

“Morning.” You whispered back, letting his arm flop over your waist.

“Do you like pancakes?” He asked, letting his eyes fall close again.

“Pancakes?”

“Yeah. Taeyong makes some bomb ass pancakes.”

You giggled, “Yeah, I like pancakes. Especially bomb ass pancakes.”

But he didn’t move and it was only after you tapped him questioningly did he speak up. “Do you think he’ll bring them up if I yell loud enough?”

You smacked his chest. “Stop it. We should go down.”

“In a bit.” He answered, nose buried deep in the crevice of your neck.

A few minutes later you heard the clinking of kitchen tools from downstairs and you stirred. “Johnny?”

“Hmmm...”

“Johnny. Let’s go.”

“Five more minutes.” He mumbled, but he let you out of his grasp anyways.

“Fine. I’ll meet you downstairs.” You paused as you passed by the mirror, eyes tracing over the marks on your neck that Johnny had left the night before. You blushed, realizing that you didn’t have anything to cover it up with, but quickly moved on, attempting to find your shorts that were discarded in the frenzy of last night.

“Check under the desk.” Johnny said, sitting up and watching you.

Sure enough that’s where they were, although you weren’t really sure how they managed to get there.

You shrugged on the last of your clothes, turning to find Johnny doing the same. It took him less than three steps to get to you, landing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“Let’s go.”

Taeyong was undoubtedly the closest of Johnny’s frat brothers to you. He had this really calming and sweet aura about him that just made you want to be friends.

“Good morning Y/N. Blueberry or chocolate?” He asked grinning as he took his eyes off the pan for a second.

“Blueberry please.” You slid onto the bar across from him. “Do you need any help?”

Johnny rubbed your lower back comfortingly, “No, you don’t want to get in his way. That’s when he loses his temper.” He whispered the last bit to you, but Taeyong obviously heard it, sending a sharp glare at him.

“Only when there are incompetent people in my kitchen.” Taeyong muttered back.

Johnny ignored the comment, shaking his head at you, “I’ll have chocolate.”

“You’ll get what you get.” Taeyong piped at him, still not over Johnny’s teasing, who grinned in response.

Both of them knew that Johnny was getting chocolate, Taeyong was really bad at being mean.

“Where’s the others?” Johnny asked, sipping on a cup of coffee.

“At school, as they should be because they are college students.” Taeyong answered, sliding a plate towards you. “Enjoy.”

You thanked him and bit into a piece, almost moaning at the taste. “Damn, Johnny told me they were good but I didn’t think it would be this good.”

Johnny swiped a piece from your plate. “What are you talking about? I told you he made bomb ass pancakes.”

Taeyong slid a plate towards Johnny.

His grin widened. “Thank you. You’re my favorite Taeyong ever.”

“I’m the only Taeyong you know.” He put his hands on his hips. “I should be the favorite.”

Johnny sent a wink in his direction before stabbing a piece.

“So I was thinking, that little bakery next to the park, do you wanna go? They just opened and I’ve been dying to try it.” Johnny asked around a mouthful of pancake.

“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.” You felt your stomach flutter, you were sure whether it was the pancakes or Johnny, but you had a pretty good guess.

“Sweet, we can swing by your place first if you want to get a change of clothes or something.”

You nodded, “Yeah, sounds good.”

“I’m glad that sounds good.” He teased you with a smile.

“Sorry, but it just sounds good. What else do you want me to say?” You pushed back, opting to add another piece into your mouth.

“I don’t know, maybe-”

“Okay, sorry to interrupt your little flirt fest, but can you start that after I leave?” Taeyong asked, making a few pancakes for himself.

“Sorry.” You giggled, sending him a genuine apologetic look.

“I’m not sorry.” Johnny said, shrugging.

You smacked him lightly.

“I’ll take away pancake privileges for a month.” Taeyong quipped, focusing on flipping the pancake.

“Sorry.” Johnny mumbled out under his breath, not one to admit defeat easily.

You laughed at the sight of a pouty Johnny, enjoying the view for the time being.

Waiting for Johnny had become a routine, but honestly you didn’t really mind it. Hanging out on the couch, you had met and befriended quite a few of his frat brothers.

Currently you were sprawled out on the couch with Jungwoo, who was retelling a very interesting story about his trip to the grocery store last week that involved a cereal box and a banana. Although it was a bit of a reach, you nodded and smiled at the right times, not really following the order of events, or really the importance of them.

“What does the fact that you were wearing- and I quote - ‘an incredibly sick pair of joggers’ have anything to do with your story?” You asked, tilting your head in teasing confusion.

“Oh, it doesn’t. I just thought you should know.” He replied matter-of-factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Right. And I’m so better off now that I know.” You taunted him, voice dripping in sarcasm.

Jungwoo shot you an annoyed, and yet hurt look, before finishing his story. “And that’s how Johnny found out he was allergic to shellfish.”

“Okay. What the fuck? I’m literally so confused.” You cut him off before he could recount his story again. “I don’t really need to hear it again though. Thanks.”

He whined before laying his legs over yours, giving up.

For a few moments, things were quiet as you checked the time. It had already been thirty minutes, where was he?

You rolled your head to the side, finally focusing on the whiteboard that had what scribbles of writing over it.

“What’s the tally for?” You asked, scrunching your nose at the whiteboard that was situated on the far wall of the room.

“Hmmm? The tally?” Jungwoo glanced around looking slightly nervous which had you even more curious. “It’s just a game.”

“Game? What game?” You laughed turning back to see the strikes adorning the board. “It looks like Johnny’s winning.”

“Uhh...” Again with the nervous glances.

You giggled, “You’re losing, aren’t you?” The spot under his name had the fewest tallies and you figured that’s why he was being so shy about it.

Jaehyun entered the room, seemingly in a very important conversation by the way that he was speaking animatedly.

“The game’s over on Friday and Johnny’s gonna win.”

“That’s so stupid. He hasn’t bagged any since Y/N, how is he still gonna win?” Yuta complained all but scowling at the floor, neither of them had yet to notice your presence.

You frowned at the mention of your name, not liking the term ‘bagging’ to be in such close proximity with your name.

“Oh, Mark has a new strike, looks like he finally got Claire into bed.” Yuta continued snorting, “Took him long enough.”

“Wait, what the fuck? How the hell did Taeyong get two strikes?” Jaehyun, squinted at the board.

Yuta snorted, “He had a threesome last night. Can you believe it? This close to the end? It’s like he’s actually trying to compete now.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You muttered, effectively catching their attention.

“Y/N.” Jaehyun breathed out, eyes wide and darting between you and Jungwoo who was obviously trying to get them to stop talking. “Hey... what’s up? When did you get here?”

“Ummm.... no. What the fuck is going on?”

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun cocked his head, doing his best to pretend like he wasn’t panicking.

“No, I don’t want your bullshit. Just tell me what this game is.” You were using anger to hide your fear. You could feel the pounding of your heart in your head, a throbbing sensation that gave way to a sinking feeling of realization.

At that moment, when his eyes finally met yours. Not Jaehyun’s, not Yuta’s, but Johnny’s as he walked in the room with that fucking stupid smile you felt your last will got out the window. It was at that moment that everything came crashing down.

“Y/N, please can’t we just talk?” Johnny chased after you, begging you to turn around.

“You promised.”

Johnny’s heart dropped at your words, and his chest started closing in in fear. The burning feeling in his throat had him choking, panicking in belated realization.

It wasn’t just the words that you said, it was the way that you said it. So defeated, so broken. So betrayed.

“You promised that you wouldn’t hurt me. Do you remember that? Did you even mean that?” You felt the tears brimming, and you fought the best you could to keep them down. But your wobbling voice let him know.

“Of course I meant it.” He answered breathlessly. “You know me, I don’t say things that I don’t mean.”

“Do I? Do I know you?” You huffed out. “Because I really thought you were someone different.”

“No, I- I’m still me. I’m still Johnny. I just...”

“You just what? You just lied about our entire relationship? If it was even that, because I was just another tally to you wasn’t I? Just another tally on a stupid whiteboard for a stupid game.”

You choked back the tears that were burning in your throat, not bothering to wipe at the ones that managed to escape.

“You know what hurts the most? I actually thought you liked me. I actually thought that you meant all those things that you said to me.”

“I did mean it. I meant every single word, and I still do. Nothing was a lie, my feelings were real. Please just listen to me, I can explain.” He stepped closer, but you took a step back, keeping the distance.

“Explain what? I already heard everything for myself. What are you gonna say, that Jaehyun and Yuta were lying? Hmmm? That it wasn’t a game? That that’s not the reason that you approached me?”

“I...” He couldn’t find any words, because you were right. Every single word that you said was right. He struggled to catch his breath, panicking. “Please don’t leave me.”

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

“I love you. I need you. I can’t- I can’t imagine life without you.”

“That’s not enough.” You clenched your jaw, face going slack. It was as if you were losing the will to even be heartbroken over this.

“Please, I-I’ll do anything, what do you want me to do?” He begged, eye brows nearly touching as they furrowed.

“I don’t want anything from you, just stay away from me.” You mumbled out, avoiding his eyes.

“Baby, please.”

“Don’t fucking call me that, I’m not yours, I never was.” You snapped at him, backing away.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled under his breath and he wasn’t sure if it was meant for you or himself.

“So I’m kinda going rogue here. I know you already hate me, but try not to hate me anymore than you already do.”

Johnny didn’t look anywhere except for you.

The professor seemed to humor him, allowing one of his favorite students to continue with an amused smile on his face.

You on the other hand did not.

You stared at Johnny with a straight face, trying your best to not look flustered.

“The whole point of this assignment was to find someone that changed our lives. But my partner and I struggled to find someone. It’s not that we didn’t have great people around us, its not even that we don’t have people that we admired. It was because no one we came up with really seemed genuine to us. But I found someone. I finally found someone that I could trust, that I let in. But I did something really stupid and fucked it up- excuse my language.”

You watched him stand behind the podium, looking smaller than he ever did.

“You know, before I met you I didn’t think that my life needed changing. I thought I was doing just fine. But then I realized that I wasn’t. I was struggling to even feel normal, to feel like I was living for something. Y/N you helped me find home. Remember when I said that you only understand that you were already home until you lose it? Well I feel it now. And it feels like shit.”

You sucked in a sharp breath, a feeling in the back of your throat burning.

“Y/N. You’re the person who changed my life. And I don’t even deserve that. But I’m here, standing in front of you like a fool because I’m whining about losing the best thing that ever happened to me.”

For a moment you thought he was done, because the silence was deafening.

“Even if you sill hate me after this, I want you to know that you mean more to me than anything else. You are the person that changed my life. You are my person, and I want so badly to be yours.”

There was a beat of silence as he ended abruptly, taking a seat on the other side of the room, eyes still locked on you.

Your professor stood up with a clap. “Well, thank you Johnny for that... interesting presentation.” A wide smile was still on his face despite his word choice. “I guess we should end on that then. Second batch of presentations is on Friday, please be prepared.”

The students of your class stood, shuffling out the exit, voices murmuring to each other.

You sat on the bench outside your lecture hall, watching as Johnny made his way nervously to you.

“You’re an idiot.” You told him as he approached you, bottom lip wobbling against your will. Eventually you broke. “But you’re my idiot.”

Johnny felt a drop of relief in his stomach as he felt like his heart would burst.

“You’ve totally botched our presentation by the way. If we fail it it’s on you.” You shoved him away teasingly.

Johnny grinned, throwing his arm over your shoulder.

“Yeah? Well, I think we did better than you think. I think that things are gonna turn out just fine.”

(sorry, i was supposed to write a full angst, but i couldn’t help myself.)

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