#either way I'm trying to be at least somewhat serious on my main usually

[officially-unhinged]

Another fic idea

And one I might even write this time!

Thinking about a Wriolette pirate AU. Exact worldbuilding has yet to be decided, but my specific thought is that Neuvilette wouldn't be the Iudex or even close. He's just... a fucking dragon. The Thing That Lurks In The Depths™️

Eldritch horror sea serpent Neuvilette and the crew of the one ship who can pass through his territory unharmed because what they do actually helps him. (They do not know why, nor do they know why every other ship that dares go in gets fucking PUNTED.)

[talkingbl]

Top 6 Most Anticipated [Confirmed] BLs of 2023 (so far)!

If I can speculate...I'd add something something Semantic Error 2, something something Bump Up Business, but I'm tired of looking stupid. DMD had me placing Bed Friend as a most anticipated BL for damn near two years now and stayed coming up short. This time, I'm sticking to what I know. So, here we are--my top 6 most anticipated BLs of 2023 (thus far)! -

6) HIStory5: Love in the Future | LinusSean & JasonAnson

lbr, this is a 2023 bl trapped in a 2022 bl's body. Either way, I love a good time travel theme (gives fish out of water--my favorite trope!!) and the HIStory series usually gives us a good main couple.

5) Love Upon a Time | NetJames

Either DMD really believes in NetJames or they feel bad for cucking them in favor of ZeeNunew this past year. Either way, I am somewhat seated for this. Wild, I never expected this from NetJames or DMD more generally, but the historical portion of the story is giving everything I've been begging for from Thailand since I started watching BL. While it's not giving MileApo's period piece trailer in terms of care and attention to detail, it seems very interesting to say the least.

4) Bed Friend | NetJames

After 2 years of blue balling viewers, DMD is FINALLY giving the girls Bed Friend. I am so excited to see an office romance with actual tension between the leads and that forbidden love vibe I love so much. The story is so classic and seems entertaining from beginning-to-end. Hopefully the writing is good and the acting takes a step forward from what DMD has given so far. That said, the trailer looks promising, so fingers crossed!

3) The Next Prince (....what? It gave budget....) | ZeeNunew

Listen, I am not a zonzon or bonbon or ztormborn or whatever they call ZeeNunew stans, but I am SEATED for this. In my last list, I included Cutie Pie in my most anticipated list. Unfortunately, it didn't hit like I thought it would. But I'm willing to give them another chance as this trailer is intriguing. They're hitting budget, royalty AU, enemies (??) to lovers, direction, cinematography, etc. with this one. And the fact that the trailer was mostly silent gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, they will take the show-don't-tell subtext-led approach to acting and writing. Just hope it's not wasted on a terrible plot that goes nowhere and grating acting. S/n: Zee doing stuff w/feet again??

2) Cherry Magic (Thailand) (stfu GMMTV antis and jbl elitists, I'm tryna see sth...) | TayNew

She has no trailer and I'm already here for her.

Per MDL -

Adapted from Japan's 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii. Adachi Kiyoshi [Achi in the Thai version] is a regular salaryman who, at the age of 29, was still a virgin. On his 30th birthday, he suddenly finds himself acquiring a new power - the ability to read other people's minds whenever he touches them. Shocked and unnerved by this new ability, he struggles to cope. That is, until one day he accidentally touches the handsome and popular fellow office-worker, Kurosawa Yuichi [Karan in the Thai version], only to find out that [Karan] actually has secret romantic feelings for him. How will [Achi] cope with this new revelation?

Look, I tried the original Cherry Magic and while the concept was appealing, the execution wasn't for me. Ngl chefs, I was bored a bit. But I still love the concept and am interested to see if and how GMMTV and Taynew can handle this. It better give budget at the very least (probably won't lol). Perhaps we'll also see Newwie grow into a more serious BL role. But honestly, even if they turn it into a rom-com, I think this can really work. Either way, they have a lot of eyes on them and a lot of folks predicting their downfall. They must deliver.

1) Only Friends | NeoMark, ForceBook, FirstKhao, ForceNeo, to say the least

Where do I even start with this? Who in the fresh hell could have predicted GMMTV to come through with this? ALL the pairings are intriguing, MANY of the actors can ACT (or at least try to), THE PLOT is something straight out of my romance dreams!!! We love hotties being messy!!!! I am incoherent at this. How did GMMTV manage to outplay the player (ME)?

But to be serious, this is the most interesting BL plot in awhile... And it gets at a real part of the 20/30-something hookup culture that we have (and that people are afraid to show in the context of LGBTQ+ relationships). It's also breaking the mold and allowing actors to explore characters outside of their established ships. It's not adapted from anything (that I know of), which is, like, a first for a GMMTV BL. It includes pairings that are either on the rise (FirstKhao) or that no one could have ever seen coming but somehow feel just right (NeoMark, ForceNeo) (btw, NeoMark are up next in this industry ;)). Plus, it's directed by Jojo Tichakorn who directed and wrote for 3WBF (one of my favorite Thai dramas with a strong BL theme), and has his hands in Never Let Me Go and The Warp Effect (both with strong showings thus far). I trust him but it's gonna really come down to the budget, post-production, and, most importantly, the acting.

Thing is, Neo and First are going to show up and I trust Khao to give a strong effort. Force, I'm not too sure about but the trailer doesn't give me high hopes to be honest. Still, I'm willing to forgive if he can fuck Neo like he means it if the rest of the cast can pull their own weight. And for Mark, I'm willing to bet he'll improve from My School President (which he already is showing promise in). I'm mainly weary because the story looks to be told from Mew's perspective, who is played by Book. IMO Book is not the best....so I'm hoping he shows up. I just need it to really come together and Book holds the key to it in his hands. GMMTV already is a sketchy company for other reasons, don't waste my fucking time with yet another good concept gone by the wayside b/c y'all wanted face over talent.

Also NeoMark please don't be problematic. I want to love Badminton shawty and the best actor at GMMTV not named Gun ATP 😢

[chicoriii]

Season 4, Episode 4 - Mr Pigeon 72

I have no idea where to start. This episode has some good things and some extremely stupid.

Marinette isn't still completely fine, but I prefer when she deals with it through being hyperactive than being a whining crybaby.

I know people don't agree with me, but personally I don't buy the whole revealing identity to Alya. It's not a problem with Alya herself, I would say the same about every single character who is not named Alix Kubdel at this point of the story. I haven't written anything in my post about Gang of Secrets, because I thought it would be undone in some way at the start of the next episode. The creators did nothing to explain why revealing identity of Ladybug to anyone was super dangerous and would result in a catastrophe in seasons 1-3 and the first two episodes of S4, but it's magically fine in episode 3. Only Alix made sense to me, as she will be the rabbit Miraculous holder, so she is destined to discover identities of everyone sooner or later and Marinette is aware of that. While it's not necessary to learn identity of anyone to other temporary Miraculous wielders, including Alya. Also that reveal hasn't been foreshadowed in season 3, while the show usually does it, especially if it's about something as important as that! More, in late S3, it's been shown that Alya still can't resist to not talking about Marinette's love life with Nino, despite she asked her to not do it. Now the girl, who is overly excited about superhero stuff, has no problems with even accidental revealing anything to Nino or someone else. She's even "stealing" Bunnix line that she's great at keeping secrets (sorry but you, the creators, haven't shown us that she's indeed is before!). This is why I think that reveal hasn't been planned before they started writing season 4.

But okay, I can deal with it, even if I don't buy it, but things these happened in Mr. Pigeon 72 are even more inconsistent with previous seasons. I have been worried about it, so it doesn't surprised me. For some reason Guardian related-things that have been kept in a secret before from everyone minus current Guardian and the future Guardian, are now fine being done in front of Kwamis (remember, they haven't been allowed to learn about making potions before!) and a civilian who is just a temporal Miraculous holder, not someone who is supposed to be trained to be a new Guardian. You can say - new Guardian, new rules, but why? Marinette has been portrayed as someone who respect authorities, she has never questioned any Fu's rules. It wasn't even said in the episode that she's going to change the rules. I hate that the writers don't even bother to explain us what's going on. Probably they don't bother about consistency, they think the audience is going to be too excited about Alya knowing Ladybug's identity and helping Marinette to question anything about it? How Alya could be allowed to learn the Guardian secrets? She is just best friend of the protagonist, she is not one of the main characters to get that special treatment. I makes zero sense to me. Especially since Su-Han will be introduced in episode 6 and he should help Marinette with understanding the Grimoire, Alya isn't necessary here for any other reason than fanservice.

In my opinion the way how they discovering how to make charms that protects from akumasitation was the most stupid thing that happened this season and one of the most in the whole show. Marinette who is the new Guardiand and portrayed as someone extreme intelligent and creative couldn't find the solution for days, but Alya with zero training magically discovered it in a few hours at worst. And when she told her the solution in not even very clear way, Ladybug did it immediately with no effort. That was so anticlimactic. At least the animation was fine, but other aspects of it was just a big disappointment, and I was looking forward for it. Thank goodness it's just the beginning of the season, I hope later important events of the season will be better written and portrayed.

Also I find it absurd that Rena Rough is walking with a page from the Grimoire like it's just an ordinary book and she's talking about it in front of a random civilian, like things that are written there are nothing special. She or Ladybug are not careful about Miraculous lore anymore. Not to mention that they are giving hints that Rena is very close to Ladybug in public, suspiciously close. And now with them being too careless, that's not hard to suspect that Rena Rouge is someone very close to Ladybug, maybe even as a civilian. Shadow Moth knows Rena Rouge's identity, and it's easy to him to learn who is Alya Cesaire's best friend if he doesn't know it yet, after all his son is in the class with her. Marinette has always been super careful and serious about her duties before, why that sudden change with zero explanation? It's just very out of character to her in my opinion.

I didn't like the akuma battle either, it's now the worst fight of the season in my opinion. It was so short and felt very lazy. I only liked that Plagg got some action and interaction with Ladybug (though it should be suspicious for her that he managed to reach to her that fast). He should be aware now that Alya knows Ladybug's identity but he acts like nothing happened. Not a word about it being unfair towards his kid or something, weird.

Thankfully the rest of the episode is generally more or less fun to me. It was nice to see Marinette and Kagami interacting again. I loved Kagami in the episode, although it was a bit weird to me that she isn't seemed to be affected by her breaking up with Adrien. Like her crush was very shallow, so she managed to recover herself from it very quickly. While it's been shown that Luka is hurt, despite Lukanette always seemed to be much more shallow than Adrigami in my opinion. But maybe it's because she's so down to earth, so being less emotional makes sense for her character. I liked how her attitude was opposite to Marinette's hyperactive: "No, I don't want to be in a relationship with Adrien again, he disappointed me, just let me live!!!". And she's another character who said that Marinette and Adrien are made for each other. I'm not surprised that Kagami sees it now when she tried to be with him and that didn't work. She's observant, sees more than many other characters. It seems she's an Adrienette shipper now. It's also good that her issue with Adrien wasn't resolved that easily and too fast. They need more time, but I'm sure they will be friends again.

So, we've gotten shirtless Adrien. I remember seeing a tweet of Thomas in which he answered to a question if there will be a beach episode and he said we will get something similar. I wonder if he meant this episode. Oh, they just remembered that Adrien is supposed to be allergic to feathers. It seems Adrien has allergic reactions only when it's somewhat related to the plot. When it's not, he's completely fine.

The reference to the famous Umbrella Scene™ out of nowhere in a random episode? It probably means something. I can see "reverse crush" supporters interpreting it as a proof to their theory, especially since this time Adrien did something clumsy and Marinette is laughing because of it (actually both of them). Or maybe because it's the first episode of season 4 with Marinette and Adrien interactions, they decided to be that much gracious for Adrienette fans, to compensate lack of it in the first three episodes. Oh wow, Marinette managed to propose spending more time together to Adrien without stuttering. Probably because she has done it spontaneously. Marinette is the most nervous when she's planning and thinking what could go wrong too much. This time she had no time to it, so it went more smoothly. It's like they building development of their relationship, but it didn't seem in Guiltrip (that's episode 11 chronologically) that something changed.

Seeing screenshot above, you can easily imagine how great friends they could be, being very comfortable around each other and laughing together, if not Marinette's anxiety. We need Adrienette development so much to get more moments like this.

Oh and I just realized that it's also one of the veeeeery few episodes with no real Ladynoir at all (the only other one I remember is Style Queen). So if there was no Adrienette it would be an episode without interactions of two main characters at all (although we almost got Ladrien). It could be another reason why this episode is that nice for Adrien and Marinette ship.

After seeing overly excited Marinette dancing in the rain, I can't believe she can manage completely give up on Adrien. It doesn't look like this at all.

Also we've seen three photos of Adrien wearing THAT scarf. It could not mean nothing different that foreshadowing that he's going to discover the truth about it somewhere this season. But I have no idea what Ladybug's mask with shining eyes could mean.

I don't know what to think about the episode. Despite absurd Guardian-related things, I still liked it much more than Gang of Secrets, but I have no idea if I generally enjoyed it more than other episodes of this season or not. At least it's an episode without stupid drama, which is amazing.

---------

I'm currently less active on social media, because my internet connection is very unstable, it often works very slowly to the point I'm not patient enough to visit Tumblr. Also I block spoiler tags again, because I don't want to see spoilers from the episodes those are going to be released very soon, as I feel that they reveal too much to me once more. We're currently in a marathon of the new episodes and since watching them is the more more enjoyable, the less I know about them, I decided to try avoid spoilers as much as I can. The only bad thing is that I can't be read discussions about the new episodes, reblog them and adding something from me until Optigami will be aired.

[drimareuniverse]

Looking for a creative writer/storyteller

Hello! I'm Jay, I'm a non-binary artist and I'm looking for a creative writer that can help me write stories for my pet project Drimare Universe! Particularly my Webcomic and Visual Novel.

More details below, all help and sharing is appreciated!

The Drimare Universe is a world located within the dreams of humans, and the Drimare are its main inhabitants spread through various different regions.

It's composed of smaller stories focused on specific groups of characters (Like how Marvel has Spider-man stories, Iron-man stories, etc.) The general tone is a fun modern fantasy slice of life type.

I've been working on the project on my own for the past 10 years, and although I have a lot of lore and character info written down, when it comes to writing stories themselves, my skills are lacklustre. I finally accepted that I need someone that could help me with that, so here I am!

I keep most of the character info and lore archived on its wiki here if you're curious to learn more about it.

My current two projects that I'm looking for help on are a Webcomic and a Visual Novel, both of which are on hiatus because of my difficulty and general dissatisfaction with my own writing :(

I basically have loose plot points, certain scenarios, conversations and ideas, and I need someone that can tie those things together in a satisfying narrative way.

You don't have to work on the comic AND visual novel, but I am looking for help in at least one of those projects.

General requirements

Be over 18 years old. I'm 23 and not comfortable working with minors.

Be LGBTQ+ friendly! A LOT of the cast is LGBTQ in some way and certain characters focus a lot on topics of gender and sexuality so the more you know about the topic, the better :)

Have the patience to learn about my characters and world's quirks and lore lol! I'll try to explain things as best as I can! Bonus points if you have weird ideas yourself.

Basically, you write, I give my input, and then we use the finished script for the comic and/or visual novel.

You will be credited!

As for rates, my budget is small so let me know how much you charge! I'm somewhat of a writer myself and I don't feel comfortable having someone work for free, but I also have no idea what people usually charge for stuff like this. I can also offer my art in exchange if the person is interested/comfortable with that! Examples are on my DeviantArt as well as other links found on my profile.

I'm looking for someone I can work with for the long term so expect me to be a returning client if I enjoy your work! :) Ideally, I'd like to make a team eventually, but a writer is the priority atm.

I don't really have a set deadline so don't worry about having to finish things by specific dates.

It's my first time trying to commission someone for writing so I apologize if my etiquette is off, I'm only experienced in art commissions. I have no idea how I'm supposed to commission writing so I'll just describe what I'm looking to get below.

For the webcomic

Drimare Universe is the first official webcomic series based around the world of Drimare Universe, focusing on the origin story of the two siblings Zelly and Blade, as well as other characters they meet throughout their journey. It's set roughly around 10 years before the current timeline.

Available to read on Tapas here

It's an origin story for two siblings, followed by episodic stories of them meeting other characters from the cast and learning about the world around them. It's sort of built like a cartoon show, with more serious episodes, others more light-hearted, some important one, etc.

There are only 13 pages in the first episode so far, but I'm unhappy with the current script for the rest of the story and need help with it.

I'd like for someone who is actually good at writing and having better ideas to give it a look and either suggest things that could work better or straight-up rewrite it from scratch but better

The other episodes only have the general main plot points written down, with further episodes still being in a draft phase (I got so caught up with my writer's block with trying to figure the first two episodes, that I haven't been able to focus on the following ones)

***

For the visual novel

Drimare Universe Friendsim, is an ongoing Visual Novel project that will feature various characters from the Drimare Universe series, it is currently being developed on Ren'Py and free to download on the DU Friendsim itch.io page.

It is heavily inspired by games like Hiveswap Friendship Simulator as it follows a similar concept of a Human protagonist meeting various cast characters in order to form friendships with them.

The series will be released in various volumes, each one focusing on a specific character, with the events changing depending on the player's choices.

Available to download for free on Itch.io

It's about a human dreamer character who wakes up in the dream world and meets respective Drimare characters.

If you've played Hiveswap Friendsim or Pesterquest, it's the exact same concept. YCH protag meets characters in a very Isekai inspired scenario. It's like a dating sim, but friendship focused instead.

Unlike the webcomic, which takes place in the past, this visual novel takes place in the current timeline. Also unlike the comic, the visual novel is not canon.

Each volume is focused on MC (Who is referred to as "Dreamer") meeting a specific character, with other secondary characters making appearances as well.

There are two volumes available so far, each composed of one short story.

The tone is playful and comedic, I guess "quirky" could be a word to describe it. But still capable of having its serious moments,

Each volume has three endings. A short bad ending, a neutral ending, and a good/true ending. (The length and amount of endings can be flexible)

You don't have to know how to program visual novels or anything like that, I just need help with the stories. I'll be in charge of adding the writing to the game, animating the sprites accordingly, etc etc.

Apologies for the long text, I just want to be sure people understand exactly what I'm looking for! Ideally, I'd love to find someone that could share my passion for creating content for this project, but for now, I'll just settle for just finding someone at all lol

You can contact me through PMs here, though I also accept messages through Twitter DMs or Discord!

Twitter - https://twitter.com/NE0Nbandit

Discord - Jay 🌸🌊#9625

Thank you for taking the time to read this! <3

[moon-in-daylight]

heyy! love your fics! i've seen you take requests so i'm testing my luck here. can we please get a dhawan!master x reader fic where reader is forced to pilot the tardis (like reason w her or link with her telepathically idk) to get the master to a hospital as he's passed out and kinda dying? like some angsty action that turns out fine in the end, please? thank you

Dispensable / Dhawan!Master x reader

Summary: You’ve always felt safe by The Master’s side, but when he endangers himself to save your life, you start wondering if his efforts to protect you are really worth it. Especially now that his life depends on you learning how to pilot a TARDIS.

Words: 4.6k

Warnings: Blood, weapons, injuries, insecure!reader, a little angst maybe. 

A/N: Anon, I’m sorry this took me so long. I’ve just been out of inspiration lately and this is what came out after a month of writing. I hope you still like it though 💖

It wasn’t unusual for The Master’s plans to go terribly wrong sometimes, as it wasn’t unusual that you regularly got hurt in the middle of your adventures as a consequence.

Luckily, it was nothing too serious most of the times. Maybe you would get some scratches while running on the quiet days, some scars on the most serious days when you had to face some extremely angry alien civilization… And, in the worst scenarios, you had almost encountered your reaper face to face.

It was inevitable to suffer some unfortunate accidents while travelling inside the TARDIS. You knew that from the very start, that your least developed anatomy would barely be able to follow a Time Lord’s way of living, especially one’s with so much love for chaos and destruction. You were well aware that while you travelled with The Master death would always be keeping an eye on you. Yet, you gladly took the risks that staying in his ship entailed.

From the first moment you had stepped a foot inside that console room, you had known there would never be a way of turning back to your old life. Not after seeing the things, places and eras he could show you with the simple pull of a lever. At first, the main reason you stayed with him was the time travelling.

Though it was extremely dangerous and you feared The Master could abandon anytime and anywhere when he got bored of you, you decided to endure his rage filled words about your species and his several rules on how you should behave to try and get him to show you the stars. He wasn’t an easy person to deal with, but you had grown to both love and deal with him, and you liked to think he had done the same with you too.

After more than a year aboard of his ship, you trusted him almost blindly, confident that he would do anything he could possibly do to try and get you uninjured of the deadly situations you faced daily.

He was way more gentle and caring now than he was when you first met him, though that was something he would never admit out loud to you. But his change of behavior was evident. You noticed it by the little thing. By the way he always kept an eye on you when you were outside of the TARDIS, on how he threatened anyone that seemed barely interested in hurting you… He almost seemed a different person now. He even took care of your wounds when he couldn’t prevent you from getting hurt, and making sure you got the fastest recovery possible instead of leaving you to deal with them on your own.

You supposed he had gotten used to having a ‘human pet’, and that he took the trouble of taking care of you mainly because he didn’t want to have to take another human in his TARDIS to replace you if you were ever missing. Too much inconvenience to have to take another pet now that he had finally grown somewhat comfortable with your presence… Either way, and despite the many risks you faced time and time again, you always felt save by his side knowing that he wouldn’t let you die that easily.

While being by his side, you barely could remember what fear felt like.

That was, of course, until you found yourself in the worst situation you could have pictured.

The day had started as any other, with The Master taking you to New Earth in the middle of the First New World War, following your request of wanting to know more about the future of your species. The Master had told you repeatedly that humanity’s history was not worth seeing, that they were little more than amoebas. But your curious self had insisted him so many times about wanting to see your future that he had eventually given in.

You didn’t exactly liked what you saw there. The cruelty, the hatred that your own race processed against their own… The senseless death and unnecessary barbarism between those of their own blood… The Master had warned you that it wouldn’t be pretty, but considering the fact you were already used to face every possible form of chaos by his side, you had been sure that nothing he could show you could be worse than the damage you had already seen him cause to distant planets and civilizations.

Now that you ran for your life in the middle of an open battlefield, hand in hand with The Master as he tried to guide you to the safety of his TARDIS under a never-ending rain of bullets, you realized your mistake. You had never imagined a war could be so bloodthirsty, so atrocious… The Master hadn’t said it, but you were sure he was jealous of the destruction and despair caused by your species.

The two sides of the conflict were ready to do anything to get even the slightest advantage over their enemies, and of course, The Master had decided he should turn such horrible situation in his favor. He had manipulated both, the leader of the resistance and the supreme general of the new Earth’s forces, to make them believe the other would throw an offensive in the middle of the night. That way, while everyone fought to death in the middle of the battlefield, you and him could sneak into each side’s bases and steal whatever could be useful or valuable.

The Master’s plan was executing itself perfectly, to the point where it was all being too good to be true. Everyone had seemed to believe him and, though you were suspicious that things were never that easy with him, he appealed to your specie’s stupidity to justify the fact that no major complications had met your little scam. If everything went as he had planned, you would be in and out of each fortress in barely ten minutes, with your pockets full and the armory of the TARDIS completely renewed with new nuclear weapons. But just when the both of you were emptying the armory of the rebel band, two guards caught you red-handed.

Apparently, before indulging their soldiers into a bloodshed battle that would likely finish all live on the planet, the leaders of each side had decided to make things the diplomatic way. And for the first time in a very long time, they had decided to unite forces against a common enemy, you and The Master. You would’ve been proud of them, had your life not been in such danger.

Now, getting yours and The Master’s head was top priority to every living being in that planet, and you almost doubted you would be able to make it to his ship alive.

You had ran alongside The Master from angry crowds hundreds, maybe thousands of times now, but never before had you felt so trapped. The TARDIS was somewhere nearby, and every step you took closer to her was a sigh of relief that left your already tired lungs. Bullets and all kinds of projectile weapons were thrown in your direction, and The Master had to keep you even closer than usual to his body to prevent you from getting hurt.

When the disguised aspect of the TARDIS finally met your eye, you thought you had never felt happier in your life, but your legs were beginning to get tired and you felt yourself losing all the strength in your body, struggling to stabilize the rhythm of your breathing.

One last push, you repeated yourself internally as you forced your body to not give up, to resist until you could collapse on the safety of the TARDIS’ ground.

With every passing second, you could see your destination getting closer, but that little time felt eternal as you did your best not to lose focus and sprint those last meters for the sake of your life.

You only let go of The Master’s hand so you could extend your arms to push the TARDIS’ doors open, get inside and quickly close them after you. But the only thing your hands laid on was the ground as you tripped and fell only a few steps away from the ship.

Your heart sunk in your chest as your bad luck struck in, realizing that you didn’t have enough time to stand up from the ground before the hordes of soldiers reached you, probably killing you instantly. This time there was no way out, and you closed your eyes while you met your unavoidable fate.

This wasn’t a bad way to die, you supposed. You hadn’t lived too long, but you had lived your life to the fullest, running away through the stars with a psychopath alien and visiting places most of your kind couldn’t even dream about. You were at peace with yourself, suspecting that The Master wouldn’t be too affected by your loss and knowing that you had already lived longer than what could be expected of such a fragile being living such a dangerous life.

You were ready to let the rest of your body hit the floor and say goodbye forever, but then The Master’s hands gripped you tight from each side of your body and pushed you up and forwards, giving you the last boost you needed to reach the TARDIS’ doors.

“What are you doing?!” His angry tone reprimanded you as he positioned himself behind you to shield you from your persecutors. “Run!”

Taking The Master’s hand in yours again, you finally made it to the insides of the TARDIS, the comfort of the familiar console room greeting you as she hummed happily at your arrival. As soon as the doors closed, you threw yourself onto the Time Lord, surrounding him with your arms to pull him into a victory hug, or more a thankfulness hug for having saved your life seconds earlier.

You squeezed him tight as you let fear crawl out of your body, starting to feel safe again by his side. For a moment you had truly believed he wouldn’t turn back for you, that he would simply get inside his ship and forget about the fact you had ever existed. But now, after watching him risking his own life to save yours, you realized there wasn’t a single place in the universe where you could really be endangered if you were with him.

As your breathing calmed and you stopped hearing the throbbing of your heart buzzing in your ears, you heard him hiss slightly at the same time you felt the lower part of your torso dampening. Getting away from him, you discovered your shirt was covered in blood, and immediately, you lifted it up to find there was no wound underneath.

Looking again in The Master’s direction and finding that his belly was also covered in the thick liquid, you didn’t let him time to say anything before undoing the lower buttons of his shirt and discovering a bullet wound on the right side of his torso.

Blood was quickly coming out of it, and you were quick to tear the lower side of your shirt so you could use the fabric to press against the bullet hole and stop the bleeding. You had always seen that work in movies, but the material was soon soaked and you realized you couldn’t stop him from bleeding out when you found a second wound a few centimeters above the first one.

“You’re going to bleed to death…” Fear was starting to form in the pit of your stomach as your mind rushed trying to find a solution to the mess developing right in front of you.

“Don’t exaggerate.” He said, as if he had just gotten an insignificant scratch. “I will be fine.”

“No.” You shook your head, taking some piece of clothing you had left in the room earlier and placing it over his belly in hopes it would do something more than the piece of fabric you had used earlier. That didn’t seem to stop the bleeding either and you started to become more and more desperate. “You need to regenerate.”

The Master frowned at you, and then you realized the weak state in which he was. In normal situations, he would have look way more threatening and powerful with the simple act of just lying his eyes on you. Now, looking at the titanic effort he put in simply trying to stay awake was enough for you to pity him.

When you thought of The Master, many adjectives came to your mind, but pity had never before been a word you would’ve use him to describe him.

“I’m not going to regenerate for something so stupid.” He immediately refused, and you cursed him internally as you guided him to the nearest couch, hand still pressing on the side of his body as you helped him sit down as comfortably as possible.

“You’re dying.” You tried to reason with him, but his stubbornness was too much to handle at the moment. He didn’t say a thing as he let the weight of his body collapse on the piece of furniture, and you watched him in desperation. “Please, just do the goddamn thing!”

You pressed the fabric in your hands harder against his wounds, wishing that he would listen to you for once in his life. When you got no answer from him, you lifted your stare to his face again, realizing he had lost consciousness.

“No, no, no, no...” You muttered as you shook his body slightly, trying to get him to wake up. “Wake up, come on. Just wake up and regenerate!”

Seeing that he wouldn’t respond, you immediately decided to check for his heartbeat. Or more correctly, heartbeats. Placing two fingers on the side of his neck, you found that the rhythm of his two hearts was starting to get very similar to the one your single heart made, and then you realized just in how much danger he was.

You were no doctor, but he had already lost a lot of blood. If you did nothing, you feared he could be dead in less than a few hours.

You had been under The Master’s care and protection for so long that now that you were the one that had to look after him, you felt completely helpless. How were you supposed to help him? All you knew about Time Lord’s biology was that they could regenerate when in life or death situations, and he had refused to do it, so you were out of ideas.

“Please, help me…” You felt your eyes watering as you cupped his face in between your hands, shaking it from side to side slightly in yet another attempt to bring him back in himself and get him to help you save him.

You didn’t get any response from him, but you heard the TARDIS humming intensely at you. And you felt relieved to at least have received a single answer to your plea, even if it was by some piece of seemingly inanimate, alien technology. Turning your head to the center of the room, you watched the console lights flicker as she indicated you to get closer to the controls of the ship. Understanding what she wanted you to do, you looked at The Master one last time.

“I’ll never forgive you if you dare to die on me.”

He looked as calmed as you had ever seen him, eyes closed and facial expressions completely relaxed. Your last thought while looking at him before rushing to the controls, was that you wished you could see that serenity in him more often, in better situations that the one taking place now of course.

Placing yourself before the buttons and levers of the console, you found yourself completely lost. You had seen The Master piloting the TARDIS billions of times, but looking down at the controls you couldn’t recall any of the movements he made while doing so… Was it really that hard to show you how to pilot the TARDIS? Hadn’t he thought it could be useful in a situation like this one? And why couldn’t you have a better memory? How could you have seen him doing so many times and not have the slightest idea of what to do?

You searched around the console in hopes of finding a piloting manual, some instructions, or at least some note handwritten by the dying Time Lord that could give you some clue on how to put the time travelling ship in motion. But when you found nothing and realized you wouldn’t even know when or where to take the ship to if you knew how to pilot it, you started to feel impotence taking over you.

The Master was dying because of you, because he had stopped to help you, a simple, useless human. And you weren’t able to do anything to help him, to make things right. You were the one dying, not him.

Feeling the lump forming in the back of your throat you wished you could turn back time and stop him from helping you get to the ship.

How ironic was that? You were inside a time travelling machine, desperate to go back in time, and you simply couldn’t. You had never felt so small and worthless in your whole life as the tears started to fall down your cheeks.

“I don’t know what to do…” You looked back towards The Master, his unconscious body laid on the other side of the room. Your eyes examined him with an apologetic look for a few seconds before the TARDIS’ hum called you again.

Following the sound she made, you realized she was trying to draw you attention to one specific lever of the console, one she had pointed out by illuminating it with a characteristic purple light. Assuming she was trying to guide you, you got closer to the lever and pulled it without thinking it twice, desperate to at least try something to fix the situation.

When you heard the approving hum of the TARDIS and noticed the way she illuminated a close button in the same purple light, you proceeded to push that button too, and then the next one she pointed you to. You honestly didn’t know what any of those controls were doing or if you would be able to follow her instructions well enough to get The Master somewhere safe, but you had no time to waste with doubt and second-guessing.

You rushed through the console’s controls, pulling and pressing as soon as the TARDIS indicated you what it was that you had to do next. After pulling one final lever, you noticed the ground beneath your feet tremble as the ship entered the time vortex. You looked back at The Master one last time as the ship landed in an unknown location and time.

“Is it done?” You asked her, quickly wiping away the tears that had fallen from your eyes seconds earlier.

She gave you yet another hum, and you supposed you would need to go outside and figure out if you had succeeded in piloting the TARDIS to the right place. When you ran outside and found yourself inside a building that seemed like what you knew as a hospital, you finally let out the breath that you had been holding.

By the time The Master woke up again, he was lying inside a hospital bed, a sharp pain on his side and a little dizziness caused by whatever substance they were putting into his IV, which he quickly took off without even acknowledging what it was. He attempted to get off the bed to try and find out in which planet he was, or how he had gotten there, but he found himself too weak to move, the stabbing pain on his side making him desist from it.

Giving up and lying his head back on the pillow again, he caught a glimpse of something that look like a bracelet on his right wrist. When he looked at it, he realized his data was printed on that bracelet:

SPECIES: Time Lord

AGE: ?

NAME: Doctor

He immediately frowned at the name of his older enemy on his own hand, and for a second he theorized about being dead and having been sent to the profundities of hell as a punishment for his numerous crimes during his extremely long existence. For a second he feared he would have to live as The Doctor for the rest of eternity.

If there was in fact something similar to hell, he was sure this was it.

Your entrance in the room interrupted his thoughts as he sighed in relief by seeing you. He let out the air too fast out of his lungs, and he couldn’t help but hiss in pain.

“How are you feeling?” You asked him after you realized he had gained consciousness back again, closing the door behind you.

“Better than ever, love.” He said with that smug smile on his face, trying to ignore the intense ache on the side of his torso.

You looked at him for a few seconds, upset that he would act as if nothing had happened. Well, he was The Master. He was an expert in being annoying, you thought. What else could you expect from him?

“I hope it’s really hurting, you thick idiot.” You spitted out, not holding yourself back as you bitterly let him know just how angry you were with him. Had you been anyone else, you wouldn’t have probably lived to tell about it “Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?! I thought you were dying!”

“Dying is not something I’m very good at, as you can see.” The Master casually said with a pompous smirk on his face, one you wished you could slap off him. You simply decided to ignore his comment.

“Why didn’t you just regenerate? Do you have any idea how many trouble you would have spare me?”

“I thought you liked this face, pet.” He raised an eyebrow at you, arrogance showing all over his face as you couldn’t help but blush slightly. It was true you found him attractive, but he clearly didn’t need you to boost his already enormous ego.

“I would have rather have you alive with a different face than dead with this one.”

For barely a second you could see the façade in The Master’s eyes fall apart as you said those words. You knew he wasn’t very keen on talking about feelings, but you hoped he knew you were being serious.

“How did we arrive here?” He quickly changed the subject. “And why am I The Doctor now?”

“I brought us here. The TARDIS taught me to pilot her” You started to explain, watching the surprised look on his face as he tried to imagine you maneuvering his ship. “And well, when they asked me what your species was so they could give you the right medication, I thought I would tell them the truth, but when they asked me for your name I figured telling them they were treating one of the most dangerous criminals in all of time and space wasn’t such a great idea.”

“I would have rather you letting me die before letting anyone think I was her.” He rolled his eyes and ripped off the bracelet on his wrist, clearly annoyed by the idea of being mistaken for his former best friend.

“If you hadn’t stopped for me back then I wouldn’t have had to do it!” You pointed out in frustration, tired of him only complaining. You knew The Master would never thank you for saving his life, but those comments he made were starting to get you on your nerves. The Time Lord started at you in confusion for a few seconds, eyes glued to your face as he tried to decode what was going through your mind before forcing himself inside of it. After staying silent for several seconds, you decided to ask right away. “Why would you risk your life for me anyway?”

“You’re my pet, dear. I’m supposed to keep you safe.” He replied as if it was an obvious thing. When you had first met him, you had never thought you would hear him speak that way about a human.

“Not if it costs you your own life!”

“Did you really want me to abandon you?” He asked, tone deadly serious and eyes inspecting you carefully.

“No, but…” Sighing, you tried to find a proper way to express what was going on inside your head. “I would never want you to get hurt because of me. I’m only human, and my life is so ephemeral and fragile… Your life is way bigger and exciting than what mine could ever be, and you shouldn’t put it at risk because of me. I’m dispensable.”

While hearing your words, The Master regretted every time he had told you how inferior you were because of your ‘human condition’. He had seen you as dispensable at first, but he no longer considered you anything other than his equal, his partner in crime. The fact that you had grown to see yourself as something of less worth than him was almost as painful as the injury on his side.

“Don’t you ever say something like that again.” He warned you in what almost sound like a threatening tone. “You’re not dispensable. If you were I wouldn’t have you in my TARDIS. I did what I did, and I would do it again if I had to, love. I promised to take care of you and that’s exactly what I’m going to do, no matter the cost. Is that understood?”

A little taken aback but moved by his words, you simply nodded, trying to regain composure again.

“Good, now help me get out of here.” Without giving you a second to react, he immediately attempted to get out of the mattress. You quickly rushed to his side to try and get him to lay back again.

“What are you doing? You’re still not ready to go!” You tried to convince him to stay in the hospital for a little longer, to give himself some time to fully recover. Deep down you knew everything you’d try would be useless, knowing that he would run away from that room at the first chance he got. He would probably even want to go plan his next heist right after arriving the TARDIS, as if nothing had ever happened.

“It won’t take long for the staff to discover you lied about my identity, and they’ll want some explanations.” He began to explain to you. “We need to be gone by the time they arrive.”

Closing your eyes, you realized he was right. That was one of the few inconveniences of travelling around space and time causing chaos and destruction, you couldn’t stay anywhere for too long if you didn’t want to get caught, and The Master was a wanted man in practically every corner of the universe.

“Okay, we are leaving.” The Master’s face was adorned with a pleased smile as he heard your words. “But don’t even think about getting into trouble for the next few days. You’re going to get a full recovery first. You have to promise me.”

“I promise you, pet.” He stated as he leaned onto you to use your body as support when he got up.

“Oh, and I’m piloting the TARDIS, by the way.” You added, gaining a warning look from him. “What? You are going to need a lot of rest in the next few days and I have to practice in case I have to pilot her again.”

[seyaryminamoto]

I've seen A LOT of people thinks Azula is one of the best villains created ever. Can you please list the reasons why? I'm interested.

Well, I’d think it’s kind of obvious, but if you would like to know…

Azula is a really successful character, and that makes her an even better villain. She defies a lot of typical villainous tropes because of many reasons I’ll explain later, but first of all I will insist on one thing: she is a CHARACTER, and not simply a villain. She’s not written merely as a foil in the way of the protagonists, even if she indeed serves as a foil. But she has her own goals, her own strengths and flaws, and as the story progresses you discover the complexities of her character that make her, by far, the best villain in the Avatar franchise. Yes, some people might say she’s not the best villain of all time, I’m not going to force you to agree on that if you like anyone else better, but the reasons why she stands out so much begin right here.

So, first off, she’s a character. She’s not omnipotent, she’s not undefeatable, she’s someone with a mission and who stops at nothing to achieve it (stubbornness of this kind is usually seen as positive traits in main characters, but it’s seen as terrifying in villains). She sets herself up for failure in some ways, as she has unstable and unequal relationships with her friends and everyone else around her, and she has unresolved issues with her mother and her father, not to mention a tumultuous relationship with her brother. So with both her strengths and flaws in mind, Azula feels like a villain who fits in the world we’ve seen so far. Nothing about her is particularly over the top, her bending skills are above and beyond everyone else’s because that makes her a bigger threat, yet Iroh can bend lightning too, for instance. It’s not presented as something unthinkable, even if she is extraordinary for it. She doesn’t really disrupt the rules of the Avatarverse for having blue fire, or for bending lightning, so she’s basically perfectly plausible in this universe.

Azula raises the stakes. Azula gives both Aang and Zuko a brand new villain they both struggle against in their own ways. Azula is out to capture them both, and she will do whatever it takes to succeed, so with her arrival into the show, the characters are somewhat split into three groups in Book 2: the common factor is that she’s always their enemy. A girl who only travels with two other girls can fight and chase both your show’s protagonists and keep them on their toes all along. Have you thought about how awesome that is?

Now, why do I say she defies villainous tropes? Well, I only just reblogged a fun post where they pointed out that Azula strikes Aang down when he’s in the middle of his Avatar State transformation. How many times have you watched shows where this happens? I watched plenty of magical girls shows as a kid, and I am a known Digimon fan: how many times didn’t I joke about how villains should just take out the good guys when they’re wasting 15 seconds of screen time, more or less, by transforming and acquiring all their powers? If you were anything like me, these tropes take you to a point where you have to knowingly suspend your disbelief and simply accept the lack of logic in the matter.

But no, Azula strikes. She sees Aang is floating up there, all extraordinary with his Avatar State mojo, and she decides there’s no point in fighting evenly when he’s in full power. She decides to take out this threat in whatever way she can, regardless of how underhanded and morally wrong it may be. But isn’t that the kind of behaviour you’d expect in a villain? The kind of thing that suits a bad guy, the thing that makes them a serious threat?

A huge thing that makes Azula absolutely extraordinary in my eyes, and it makes me think of Iago from Othello often: Azula plans and succeeds, at least in Book 2 and half of Book 3. She works hard, she doesn’t always win, things go wrong at times and yet? At the very moment where it mattered, Azula got what she wanted, just as Iago got what he wanted. No kidding, Iago gets caught, but not before he destroys Othello in the exact way he intended to. And THAT is what makes a villain worthwhile. The villain’s goal can be something as simple as stealing candy from a child, but if he succeeds and gets away with causing exactly the effect he intended to, regardless of what it costed, that villain is miles better than your average “I want to destroy the world because the writers were giving the hero something to fight against” villain.

So, Azula’s biggest scary factor is that she can be successful. And she’s NOT a big hazy bad guy, like her father, or all other Fire Lords: she’s out in the field, fighting her own battles, planning her strategies and making everything fall into place if she can.

As I said before, she CAN fail. She does, lots of times. But the show does something LOK, for instance, never really did: Azula wins in Book 2. In LOK Amon’s cause allegedly helps fix the bending privilege problem, and Unalaq gets to bring the spirits back, and Zaheer nearly makes Korra disappear forever, and Kuvira somehow gets to fix the Earth Kingdom in her own way. But… they’re all defeated. Zaheer and Kuvira end up in jail, Amon and Unalaq even DIE. None of these bad guys got to actually succeed, their causes apparently did, in roundabout ways, but not them as individuals. 

Azula, on the other hand, succeeds in every level. Azula succeeds where so many others failed, even being the only character who ever came remotely close to killing Aang. She takes over Ba Sing Se with a plan that comes into place right in front of the viewer, and if you love her you relish in this (as I did), if you hate her you are horrified by how EVERYTHING IS GOING HER WAY. It’s not merely her cause that succeeds, the show doesn’t try to tell you that Azula’s victory is good in some roundabout way. Azula is portrayed in a bad light, as a villain, as a real threat to the heroes, and to the values the show is presenting. And she doesn’t wait around for others to fulfill her orders: she goes out to take care of things herself, even fighting without her bending if that’s is how she can protect her nation and father.

As a comparison: how many times in Book 1 did any of us ever really think Zuko was going to succeed at capturing Aang? I, personally, never really thought he was going to do it, not only because of spoilers but because Zuko didn’t feel nearly as threatening as Azula did. Was it because of his temper? Was it because of humorous situations written around him? I don’t really know, but Zuko, as annoying and persistent as he was, and as often as he showed up in pursuit of Aang, never seemed likely to get what he wanted. And he didn’t, despite he had a few chances for it. The writing always frustrated his attempts to capture Aang, or to set traps for him… basically, Zuko always failed when it mattered most.

And Azula failed, plenty. But she didn’t simply fail: she changed her tactics, found new ways to handle the problem, and eventually when Book 2′s ending arrives you’re left with the feeling that this girl simply cannot be stopped. She’s not like Zuko, who worked hard but it never paid off. She’s not like Zhao either, who also made his efforts and found new resources but still failed more often than not. She’s not simply a bending powerhouse like Combustion Man, nor was she like Long Feng, who, yes, was successful for most his life but we only get to meet him when things start to go wrong for him. And she’s also not like Ozai, who was indeed the ominous final boss waiting to show himself at the very end of the story.

So, Azula manages to be a character while being a villain, something rare in mainstream media (seriously, this is the problem of every single Marvel film except for the original Thor. This is why none of their villains are truly memorable or meaningful). And she also manages to be a successful villain, rather than another of those “scary” ones who really seemed to be about to succeed but were stopped at the very last minute: no, she gets what she wants, kills the Avatar as far as she knows, captures her uncle, brings her brother home, and takes over Ba Sing Se. She hits the jackpot, pretty much, but it wasn’t a matter of luck: it was a matter of skill, of adapting to the circumstances and working hard for the sake of her mission.

And that’s just Book 2. In Book 3 she keeps up the efficiency until the betrayal, foiling the brilliant Invasion plans and succeeding at stopping the heroes yet again. By the time her breakdown happens, it’s source really goes back to Azula’s own flaws and problems, to character issues that, although present, were yet to be explored. Yes, it’s terribly convenient for Zuko that his sister would lose her mind exactly when he needed her to, but even then, Azula’s downfall serves to enhance her character’s complexity. It could have been handled better, but as it was, it allowed the viewers to see how damaged she truly is, deep down, and that, again, is what makes her a character and not simply a villain.

That’s more or less the gist of it, but there’s other reasons too, no doubt. All the same, Azula sets a hard bar to match for many villains in mainstream media, and only a handful of them have reached it (if they have, I don’t know how many have overcome it). And that would be why saying she’s the greatest villain of all time has become such a popular thing to do as of late :’)

[chrliekclly]

do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !

YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)

okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.

to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).

i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.

as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you’re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap

just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.

charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress. 

dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.

when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???

at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:

i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.

i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.

iv gone too far goodbye

[helloandwelcometomariasblog]

Review #76: Record of Youth (Ep 11-12)

I have felt two main things while watching the past few episodes.

The first is a somewhat positive feeling towards some of the new conflicts that have been taking place. I wasn't sure what it was that made those conflicts feel so real and deep, and then I realised that it was Park Bogum's acting. I don't think he was this good back in Love in the Moonlight. Or more like, the story didn't allow for such subtle facial acting. His prince character in that drama wasn't as deep or multi-dimensional as Hyejun is. All the prince character did was be obsessively in love and get angry and look good and smart. Almost every time he was provoked by that annoying counsellor for the king, he was somehow able to keep calm and always fight back with sarcasm.

Hyejun, on the other hand, feels more real. He deals with real emotions and shows each and every small emotional change to the audience. It's really amazing how subtle those changes are but how clearly they show on his face.

I've really liked the conflict he's been having with Jeongha lately. It's real and raw and the drama doesn't make it into mere comedy. I think there are a few scenes that stood out to me (well, provided almost all of their scenes together being conflict scenes now). The first one is when they brush against a serious conflict for the very first time. Before this moment, they never address anything seriously, and both of them kind of brush it off. Usually Jeongha brushes it off as though she's never hurt and she always understands. I used to think she was mature for doing that. I used to think, that's what adult dating is about. But now I'm not so sure.

Jeongha does the same thing this time round, but you can tell there's discomfort and unsaid words hanging in the air. It's the scene where Jeongha jokingly tells Hyejun that she's had inconveniences from his sudden fame too, then when Hyejun's all ears about it, she brushes it off again and makes the atmosphere light by lying and saying that she's a busy woman too with her own personal studio.

This scene kind of pained me. Not just this scene, but with every Hyejun-Jeongha scene we get now, it's just tension and unsaid words all round. They never have a frank discussion about how they're feeling and where their relationship is headed and it really pains me. Like I said, I used to think it was the adult thing to do - to swallow petty feelings and understand the other person, talk and act in a way that doesn't make them feel bad, pretend to be positive. But seeing Jeongha, my thoughts are changing. Is this the downfall of being too independent and self-sufficient in life? We all know that Jeongha doesn't like getting help from people. We also know that she doesn't like sharing her troubles with others either. She said it once, something like, love means not sharing your heavy burden. Something like that. I agreed with it back then and nodded my head, but I'm really getting second thoughts seeing how her relationship with Hyejun is turning out.

If you can't be honest with your partner... it's not good. Jeongha is just pretending 24/7 that she's okay and that she's not the type to get sad and angry over the "trivial" things. That she's not petty. But it's all an act. She is sad and angry. And that above scene was pretty powerful because Hyejun's face just falls at the possibility that he might've hurt Jeongha. Hyejun as a character is so expressive and honest with his feelings, I think that may be another reason why Jeongha hesitates from being completely honest. If I had a partner who reacted to each and every emotional change I was going through, I might be like Jeongha too.

But still, it needs to be shared. Sigh, dating is hard. You just can't avoid conflict. Yeah, there's the dreamy side to it and that's what you get when you first start off usually but conflict hits you pretty quickly too. And then it's just conflict all throughout and having to deal with that and talk through every itsy bitsy feeling and thought. Tiring. Very tiring.

Anyways, going back to Hyejun and Jeongha. The actual serious conflict they have though is when that article about Jia goes through. Hyejun goes to see Jeongha and you can just tell she's not happy. She doesn't even smile - or even force a smile - as Hyejun comes through the door. What really bothers me and something I just don't understand is why there's no physical affection every time they meet up. If I hadn't seen my dear boyfriend for a long time and he came over, I would be hugging him at least! But these two never greet or farewell each other with a hug or a kiss. I don't get it. They've done even more than that already and they don't feel the desire to be physically close to each other every time they meet?

Or maybe that's just a sign of them becoming even more distant with each other as time goes by - which makes me even more sad. Not seeing them bond, both emotionally and physically, is just sad for someone who used to ship them. There's just too much tension and discomfort in the air - but let's face it, it's necessary and natural with their current situation.

Even rewatching that scene where they fight (somewhat calmly) for the first time brings back the tense feeling I got back then. They both start off trying to ease the atmosphere by smiling a bit, and then Jeongha gets (very calmly) angry for the first time - how come you never discuss these things with me beforehand? Why do you make me go through a million thoughts by myself? And Hyejun is right, she's super calm but that makes it even scarier. Hyejun at this point is still trying to keep it light. They're both similar in that sense. They're both calm and they both try and avoid conflict. Then Jeongha bursts out for the first time (albeit still calmly) and you can see the changes in Hyejun's expression. Jeongha's annoyed face and Hyejun's surprised and hurt face are both faces we've never really seen from them in Hyejun-Jeongha scenes and that's what makes it very special. I guess this is the moment in a relationship where you realise that your partner can be just as unlovely as some of the other people around you. It's reality though. Even Hyejun gets a little heated as he lets out his own honest feelings about the matter. The atmosphere gets tense and uncomfortable.

BUT. It's at this moment where Hyejun extends his hand to Jeongha. I think this is a key moment. Hyejun decides to bridge the gap and change that tense atmosphere. Jeongha puts her hand in his and then Hyejun says, I love you much more than you think.

Then, as the episode continues, I'm sitting there thinking - really? Because the more I watch, the less I'm starting to believe that. And if I'm like this, how little of it would Jeongha be believing?

I started seeing more of their relationship deteriorate when Hyejun couldn't get Jeongha's call and called her later in the hotel in Singapore. By that time, Jeongha was already at home from being picked up by Hyehyo. Damn, what a move. I guess this scene shows just how tired Jeongha has become, to resort to calling her boyfriend's friend, someone she knows might have feelings for her. She would have never done that in the past. But she's tired now and she really needs someone to care about her. She shouldn't have done that though. Seeing her invite Hyehyo into her house and avoid talking to Hyejun on the phone for long made me feel icky as heck. She didn't even tell Hyejun that Hyehyo was over - just to not make him worry. That honestly feels wrong. And seeing Hyejun's face drop when Jeongha lightly rejects his request of talking on the phone for long, that was painful too. You can just tell that at that moment their relationship is clearly declining.

But then again - does Hyejun really love Jeongha? If he did, he would have at least checked his phone on the plane. There's wifi and everything on the plane now, we all know that. He could have, but all he did was watch a movie. If he really loved Jeongha, he would have thought about her at least once. That's the downfall of this so-called "mature" relationship between these two. They're both so independent and so used to doing everything by themselves, they don't feel the need to reach out to their partner, to be perfectly honest with them about their feelings, and depend on them. Dating is hard. That is the conclusion.

I really need to stop writing and continue the drama, but I just have to mention that I loved the conflict scene between Hyejun and Hyehyo too. That was some raw emotion and I liked how the boys didn't fight physically. It's more interesting when they fight with words and it contains much more complex emotions. One day I really gotta sit down and ask myself why I'm so obsessed with conflict scenes and why I like them so much. Probably because I like seeing characters show their emotions so freely and become raw and honest with the people they care about. Maybe I find it cathartic because I myself suck at doing that and avoid it at all costs.

ONE more thing to mention before I leave. I absolutely hate the reporter. I know the actress from heart signal, but I feel like I've never hated a character so much. She's just downright fucking evil. She has no other character trait than being a bitch. At least Lee Taesu has a backstory and has some hardships of his own and has a brat like Doha giving him hell. That journalist has absolutely no other character trait than being a selfish money-hungry biatch. Whenever I see her, I swear I lose a little bit of faith in humanity. I've actually started understanding Hyejun's dad little by little and I've really liked seeing the feelings and changes he is going through, along with the difficulties in his heart as Hyejun rises to stardom, but this journalist? Just no. When she's at the police station trying to get a scoop and repeating, "strong denial means it's true" I honestly wanted to slap her hard on the face. There are quite a few people in this drama that are a bit too angering and that's one of the few negatives of the show.

I'm pretty sure I had one more thing to discuss here but I can't fully remember now. Oh yes - I remembered. Just about the entertainment industry in general. It's been crazy seeing how obsessed people are with celebrities and it's been disgusting seeing how obsessed some people are with seeing them fail. It's actually made me not want to read any news of them from now on. It feels pointless. There are so many rumours going around daily about all sorts of celebrities. We will probably never know the full truth about them. I think I'd rather just not look into them in the first place.