#either through comment or reblog or messaging me or whatever

[timdrake-yumm]

Is it just the same two phrases with different emphasis? Yes. Do I still want to know? Also yes. Feel free to lmk why you chose what you chose, I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions!

[navybrat817]

The Dad Diaries: Checkup

Pairing: Dad!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Jamie is a little fussy after his doctor appointment and Bucky continues to admire your strength. Word Count: Over 1.8k Warnings: Fluff, reflecting, first time dad, slight feels (it's me), parenthood, tired parent, shots / needles referenced, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and a dad, okay?). A/N: Next part of The Dad Diaries! Hope you lovelies enjoy. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky was in the kitchen rinsing off the dishes from dinner when he heard a wailing cry break through the peaceful evening. He dried his hands and told himself not to rush toward the nursery as all other sounds faded into the background, but his feet moved quickly anyway. His body seemed to move on instinct when it came to you and your son since the two of you were his world. And he would do whatever he could to keep you safe and happy.

Another cry rang out as Bucky got to the hall. Somehow, and it must have either been some form of magic or your motherly instinct to comfort your baby, you beat him to the nursery. “It’s okay, Jamie. Mama's here,” you soothed as you carefully picked your son up and cradled him against your chest. “Shh,” you whispered in his ear, your eyes closing as the cries began to get a little softer.

It broke the former sergeant’s heart a bit each time he heard his son cry. He knew you felt the same way. You were empathetic and protective before you had Jamie, but his cries increased your emotions.

A smile touched Bucky's lips as he observed the two of you, his heart warm and full. The longer you held Jamie, the quieter he became. He curled against you like all he needed was the warmth of your loving embrace. In return, you held him like you had the whole world in your hands.

Love would always show up in the ordinary moments because you made them extraordinary.

As touching as the sight was, Bucky sensed how tired you were. He saw it in the slightly strained smile you gave him when you opened your eyes and the way your body sagged as you swayed back and forth to soothe Jaime. You hadn't gotten nearly enough rest today and completely missed your nap after nursing earlier. That wouldn’t do.

Not on his watch.

“Hey,” Bucky said softly enough to not spook Jamie. “Need me to take him?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ve got him,” you replied as your son gripped your shirt with his tiny hand, a silent message to his dad to let him snuggle with his mom a little bit longer. “He’s just a little fussy.”

Bucky nodded as he walked into the room. The doctor warned them to expect some fussiness over the next couple of days thanks to his appointment. “But he isn’t in any pain?” He asked, hurt flooding his blue eyes just from imagining it.

Your gaze softened as you shook your head. “Not that I can tell,” you said. Both of you were observant when it came to Jamie. You picked up on cues and looked for anything out of the ordinary. “I think he’s okay.”

That helped Bucky breathe a bit easier. “And you’re sure I can't take him so you can get some rest?” He asked, not wanting to push, but also a second away from telling you to sit in the rocking chair. You headed toward it and carefully took a seat before he could open his mouth again, as if you sensed what he was about to say.

“I’ll take a nap in a few minutes,” you promised, giving him another small smile. “I just want to hold him a little bit longer.”

Bucky conceded as he put a blue blanket over both of you. Soft and covered in stars, it would keep you both warm. “I still can't believe how big he’s getting,” he said, brushing a finger along his son's soft cheek.

How was it a month already since he blessed your lives?

“Big and strong,” you said, glancing down with a fond smile before looking up again. “Just like his daddy.”

Bucky’s cheeks tinged from the compliment. “He's strong because of his mommy. And beautiful.”

You fought a yawn, but he saw the happiness in your eyes at his words. “He gets that from both of us.”

Jamie scrunched his face before he nuzzled his head against you with a tiny sound, making the brunette chuckle. “Okay, okay. Enjoy your snuggles with your Mama,” he whispered as he bent down and kissed the top of his son’s soft head. He stilled for a moment as he let his soothing scent wash over him. “I’ll be in my office.”

“Okay. I’ll call for you when I’m done,” you said, shutting your eyes when he kissed the top of your head, too.

He dimmed the lights once he crossed the room, but stopped to look back and observe the tender moment between you two a bit longer. It was picture perfect and had his heart swelling again before he went to his office. His journal awaited him at his desk and he got to work with his latest entry.

Hey, Nugget, You’re currently cuddled up with your mom in the nursery and I don’t blame you for soaking up the snuggles. It was a big day for you! Your one month checkup. I still can’t believe it’s been a month since you came into our lives. It seems like yesterday.

Is it too early to say I want time to slow down?

I'm happy to report that you are on track. Your height and weight are on the charts where they should be. You're hitting the usual milestones, which came as no surprise to me. You are my son after all.

A joke. I'm a little more humble than that. I think you're on track because of your Mama, but she’ll argue and say it’s because of both of us. Either way, the pediatrician didn’t look at all surprised that you were doing well. The receptionist and nurses also fawned over how adorable you are.

Again, you got that from your Mama, even if she says again that you got it from both of us.

Bucky stole a glance at the monitor where you continued to rock Jamie in the chair. He had to smile at the sight. You weren’t quite asleep, but were dangerously close. He’d have to finish up his entry quickly so he could get you to bed.

I’ll be honest. I wasn’t sure about the pediatrician at first. I think he directed most of your questions to your mom since I kept glaring at him. I couldn’t help myself. We did a lot of research to make sure you’d get the best care possible. Even though he’s highly recommended and probably one of the nicest men I’ve ever met in my life, you’re my son and it’s hard to hand you over to someone else to care for you.

Except for your Mama. She is always the exception to the rule.

Bucky let out a breath, gripping the pen a bit tighter.

I knew going into the appointment today that you would have to get a couple of shots. Needles don’t exactly scare me and I knew it was for your own good, but I never hated them until today. I must’ve given the nurse a dirty look, too, because she avoided looking at me and asked your mom to hold you still so she could administer the shots. In fact, I know I glared because your mom elbowed my side and whispered, “Stop that. They’re helping our son.”

You’ll learn later in life that your mom is always right.

I still did my best to stay calm and distract you by making a funny face. I didn't want you to sense that I was worried, but I was because I knew you’d be in pain. And even though the pain would only last for a second, I knew I was powerless to stop it.

At that moment, I was helpless.

He swallowed as he recalled the piercing scream Jamie let out when the needle pricked his thigh. It twisted his gut so painfully that he feared he’d get sick and he had to refrain from taking him away from the nurse. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to the shots or cries with any of the upcoming appointments.

It should come as no surprise that your mom continued to be a pillar of calm and strength as the nurse gave you two shots and applied your band aids. Whereas I was like a wave crashing against the shores in my mind, she was the rock that braved the storm and didn’t budge. She told you how big and strong you were, like me, when she picked you up and your cries eventually stopped as she held you against her chest.

I wonder if it was her voice that calmed you down. It could’ve been her smell. She does smell good. Maybe her touch. Her heartbeat. Probably everything.

We both love her so much.

Bucky wondered if the shots bothered you more than let on. Maybe that was why you were so keen to hold him even though you needed sleep. Maybe you needed the comfort as much as your son did.

As I watched her hold you, it took me a moment to breathe again so I could try and provide some sort of comfort to you. As your father, I want to protect you from the pain of the world. But pain is the body’s warning system to protect us from harm and sometimes inevitable. Today reminded me that I won’t always be able to protect you from it and that I can’t let my negative emotions or fear get in the way of helping you after. It’s another reason why I admire your mother.

She validated your pain, but stayed strong for you because you needed that. It’s something that I’m still learning. It doesn’t make me any less of a good dad because of that. There’s no manual for dealing with these emotions. We just have to figure out how to weather the storm.

Because we’re strong apart, but even stronger together.

“Bucky?” You asked, your voice gently ringing out through the monitor. “It’s your turn.”

He smiled before jotting one more thing down.

And if you’re ever hurting or just need a helping hand, I’ll be there.

Until next time, I love you.

Always,

Dad

Bucky didn’t hesitate to go to the nursery once he finished up to take his son from your arms, a look of understanding passing between the two of you. Parenting was an emotional rollercoaster full of ups and downs and twists and turns. Being a father was one of the hardest jobs he’d ever had, but it was also the most rewarding. He still didn’t really know what he was doing, but he was trying and didn’t have to go through it alone.

And as Jamie leaned into him with you resting close by, that was the best reward he could ask for today.

Bucky is doing a wonderful job. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[maximoffcarter]

Now that you're here.

Pairings: Alex Cabot x reader.

Summary: Anxiety and insomnia were two of the things that kept Alex Cabot awake at night. Sometimes pills had to be her comfort to be able to sleep through the night; that was until she met reader.

A/n: This was requested by an anon, Alex having a hard time sleeping until she meets reader. I gotta admit that I love writing Calex but also reader inserts are comfort for me haha. Don't be afraid to send me an ask or message if you got any requests, I'm up for anything for now. Enjoy and leave your comments, reblog, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

“Alex, you look like crap.” Olivia said as Alex walked into the precinct, a bit of concern behind her words.

Alex looked at her with a raised brow. “You sure know how to compliment a woman.”

“Sorry.”

Alex sighed as she shook her head. “Sorry, didn’t actually get a good night sleep. What do you have for me?”

It was known that Alexandra Cabot was devoted to her job. She could stay hours in her office without a problem, as unhealthy as it was. She basically only got home to ‘sleep’, take a shower, and have some sort of food, whatever she could find really. She barely knew what free days were, not wanting to skip any work day in case they really needed her. But she was also conscious of how this affected her physically and emotionally, it could be draining, but there was nothing a couple of pills couldn’t do for her -also very unhealthy-. Today, she had been called to the precinct for some advice, frustrated as she figured they had nothing she could work with and she just wasted time in walking all the way here, almost running out of the building as she had some arraignments she had to get to. The day had felt so long and draining, she felt exhausted to the point where she could literally drop asleep in any place, but knew that once she was home, there was no way she was going to sleep.

So after leaving her office, she opted for stopping by a small bar that was near her apartment. The thought of a good scotch drink made her feel a bit more relaxed. It was a Tuesday, so of course the bar would be almost empty, which also was to her favor as she really didn’t feel like dealing with drunk people. As she sat down, she noticed a girl who sat just two seats away from her. Alex could definitely move to another seat, but she just wanted the drink so badly that she didn’t really care. As she ordered the drink, she couldn’t help but study the mentioned girl; she was wearing scrubs which meant she was either a nurse or she worked in the health area, her head was in a ponytail, some hair all over the place, but still cute. The girl was entranced in her drink, just staring at it.

“Hard day?” Alex said before she could even figure out that the words were coming out of her mouth. She was supposed to enjoy a drink or two and then leave, but now there was the possibility that she just engaged herself into conversation.

The girl looked up and her eyes fell on Alex, offering a tired smile. “You could say so.” She raised her brow as she noticed the drink. “Guess it was for you too?”

Alex scoffed, nodding, and taking a sip of her drink. “You could say so.” She grinned as she turned to look at the girl again.

The girl huffed a chuckle, turning her body to face Alex. “Judging by your drink and clothes…I dare to say you’re a lawyer?” She raised her brow.

Alex grinned as she nodded. “Is it that obvious?”

The girl shrugged. “Just a bit.”

Alex raised her brow. “And judging by your drink and clothes, I dare to say you’re a nurse?”

“Is it that obvious?.” She smiled softly and extended her hand. “Y/n.”

Alex chuckled as she took her hand. “Alex.”

They held each other’s hand for a little longer than expected, just staring into each other’s eyes. Y/n couldn’t help but get lost in those baby blue eyes, Alex was beautiful, she was sure she was the most beautiful girl she has ever seen in her life, and she sees a lot of people every single day. As for Alex, she felt attached to her, something called her in and she couldn’t help but study every single feature of y/n, even with the tiredness in her face, she looked beautiful. They finally let go of their hands and giggled quietly, their eyes going back to their drinks.

“Done with your shift or you’re heading there?” Alex decided to speak again, looking back at y/n.

Y/n sighed in relief. “Done with my shift. Almost 20 hrs cause I needed some extra hours. And drinking is not allowed before a shift.” She grinned as she looked back at Alex. “What about you? Done with…court?”

Alex chuckled as she nodded. “Yes. We don’t really do court that late, though. Just paperwork and preps.” She smiled.

“Private lawyer or…?”

“Assistant District Attorney. I work for Special Victims.”

Y/n tilted her head as she smiled. “So you know Liv.”

Alex raised her brows at the name and nodded. “I do. You know her too?”

“They call me in whenever they have a victim. I mostly work ER, so.” Y/n smiled. “So now I know the famous attorney they always mention.”

Alex shrugged and grinned. “Nice to meet you.” She chuckled.

What was supposed to go for half an hour or an hour, turned to three hours. Alex had said a drink or two would be enough, but now she was involved in conversation with y/n, which she did not mind at all because she was enjoying this more than she expected. She wasn’t one to give up information about what she did or anything about her life, but as y/n started talking about her life, she felt safe to talk about hers too. It wasn’t all work, it was also things they did out of work, which in Alex’s part, she really didn’t have much to talk about since her whole life was work but listening to y/n talk was enough for her.

After the last call, both women decided to take a walk in direction to their apartments. Alex knew she had to grab a taxi at some point, but she didn’t want the night to end even if she had an early morning. Y/n kept going on about some work thing, and Alex just stared at her the whole time. They finally got to a corner and in front of a building, Alex sure this is where y/n lived, and they stood there, smiling at each other.

“Here is my stop.” Y/n turned to look at Alex. “Thanks for keeping me company.” She smiled softly.

Alex smiled. “I should say the same. Sorry I kept you until late.”

“It was worth it.” Y/n blushed as her words left her mouth, she cleared her throat and then looked in her backpack, getting a small notebook and a pen. “You can throw it away or do what you please with it but…here’s my number.” She then gave her a small paper and smiled. “If I don’t answer, it’s not because I’m avoiding or ignoring you. I’m working.”

Alex giggled as she grabbed the paper and stared at it for a moment before she looked up. “Noted.”

“I’ll see you around, Alex. Be safe.” Y/n smiled.

Alex saw y/n get into the building and turning to say a final goodbye to Alex before she disappeared. Alex stood there for a bit more, playing the evening in her mind and smiling. After all the stress and tiredness, the least she had expected was to meet someone at a bar and staying with her for hours just talking and laughing. Definitely worth the tiredness for the morning.

********************

Alex groaned as she took off her glasses, putting them on her desk and then groaning as she rubbed her eyes. Not only was she tired, but she was frustrated. The trial hadn’t gone as she expected, there was still a chance to win but at this point, her options were limited and the only thing she could do was push through it and try her best. She was also frustrated because she had to cancel on y/n last minute, her desk flooded with paperwork that she needed to finish, so she had to call y/n to cancel.

After that night at the bar, Alex couldn’t help and she called y/n the next day, while she was at her office doing paperwork she had called y/n and they had a conversation for a whole hour, and before saying goodbye, Alex had asked her out. The date went smoothly, and it had been better than they expected. For a whole month, they tried to go out every week, but today that was not possible. She had enjoyed every minute she spent with y/n, her day being a lot better just by seeing her, even if she had not much to say, she could listen to y/n over and over again. She looked at her watched and sighed, it was pass 10:30 pm and she was nowhere near finishing. She looked down at her paperwork and was about to dive in again, but a knock on her door startled her, making her look up at her door.

“Y/n?”

Y/n smiled softly as she leaned over the door frame. “Hello, counselor.”

“What are you doing here?” Alex smiled, moving her hand to let y/n know it was okay to come in.

“Well, since a pretty girl canceled our date today, I thought maybe I could show up in her office with some takeout. Cause I’m pretty sure she has not had any food all day.” Y/n walked to the desk, raising her brow as she looked at Alex. “I took the liberty of ordering Chinese, hope you don’t mind.” She showed the bags she had in her hands and smiled.

Alex felt her heart beating a bit faster as she listened to y/n, smiling softly. “Any food sounds amazing. Thank you.” She stood up and moved to the small table beside her desk, followed by y/n. They both sat down, and Alex then looked at her confused. “I have a suspicion on how you got into the building, but how did you know where my office was?”

“I’m not gonna confirm or deny that I had to stop by every floor to find it.” Y/n grinned as she got the food out.

Alex furrowed her brows. “You didn’t.”

“Baby, I asked the guard.” Y/n chuckled softly.

Alex blushed softly at the pet name, grabbing the boxes that y/n handed her. “Right. Sorry, my mind is kind of screwed at this point.” She looked at y/n and smiled. “I’m glad you came here.”

Y/n smiled. “My pleasure. I wanted to see you, and if this is my chance to see you, then I’ll take it.”

Alex tried to hide the big smile she had on her face and looked down at the box of food she had in her hands, grabbing some sticks and started eating. They ate in silence for a moment until they started talking about their days, Alex complaining about the trial and then the whole paperwork, and y/n talking about her day at the hospital. There was a moment where Alex went back to paperwork just to finish up and y/n stayed there reading a book and finishing her food. Every now and then, they look at each other without them noticing, time to time they’d lock eyes and just smile, trying to hide their smiles. Alex felt like a teenager, both doing their homework or studying and just keeping each other company, looking at each other and then going back to it. But even then, she felt happy.

Pass midnight, Alex finally said she was done, grabbing what she needed to take home and cleaning up their empty boxes of food. Unconsciously, as they left the office and waited for the elevator, Alex grabbed y/n’s hand and intertwined their fingers, only noticing once they were inside the elevator. She turned to look at y/n, who was already looking at her with a smile on her face. Once they walked out of the building, they kept walking hand in hand, talking about everything and nothing at some point. After walking a few blocks, they were waiting for the green light to cross the street and that’s when Alex turned to look at y/n.

“Would you like to come over? To…my apartment?” Alex bit her lip as she looked at y/n.

Y/n smiled softly. “I’d like that.” She whispered softly.

Alex smiled, noticing the light was green and they crossed the street. At some point, Alex decided it’d be quicker if they called a cab, so they did. Alex never let go of y/n’s hand, sitting close to each other in the cab and just looking out the window, the silence was comfortable, something both women were growing into. Once in Alex’s building, they went into the elevator and waited for the doors to close. Alex just stared at the doors for a moment, until she felt y/n’s hand on her cheek and the next thing she knew, her face was getting turned in y/n’s direction and she felt a pair of soft lips on hers. Alex gasped quietly, but right after, her free hand went to y/n’s waist, pulling her closer as she kissed her back. The kiss was slow and sweet, with a hint of passion in it, nothing either of them had experienced before. They had shared cheeks kisses while saying goodbye, but Alex was too shy to kiss her properly, so to say she was thankful that y/n kissed her, it was an understatement. y/n broke the kiss and Alex tried to follow her to keep kissing her, opening her eyes as she heard y/n giggling.

“What are you laughing at? You kissed me.” Alex grinned.

“I did. But you’re cute.” Y/n smiled as she pecked her lips. “I’m sorry if I didn’t ask, I just been thinking about kissing you for so long.”

Alex smiled. “I have too, but I was shy.”

“You’re welcome.” Y/n chuckled and just as she was leaning in again, the doors of the elevator opened.

Alex pulled her quickly out of the elevator and walked to the end of the hallway until they were at Alex’s door. As soon as they were in, Alex turned to look at y/n but before she could do anything, y/n had the same thought as Alex and she placed her hands on Alex’s waist, pushing her against the door, her lips attaching to Alex’s in a heated kiss. At some point they kicked the bags off onto the floor, not really minding where they landed. Alex moaned softly as her hands went to y/n’s hair, her hips thrusting into y/n’s as she tried to get her impossibly closer to her. y/n pulled away for some air, but soon enough started kissing Alex’s chin and went down to her neck, biting and licking every inch of skin she found. Alex threw her head back, giving her a bit more access to kiss her.

“W-We should move to my bed.” Alex moaned out as she looked down at y/n.

Y/n looked up at Alex and grinned. “Okay.” She pulled away from Alex and took off her coat, Alex doing the same thing and grabbing both of them to put them on the rack beside her door.

Alex took y/n’s hand and pulled her to her room, as soon as the door was open, she turned to kiss y/n again, her heartbeat racing as y/n’s hand found the buttons of her shirt and she started undoing them. Alex pulled away for air, looking at y/n as she panted. Her hand stroked her cheek for a moment, her fingers then moved to y/n’s chin to make her look up.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Alex asked softly.

Y/n smiled softly, her heart pounding on her chest at the questions. “I’m sure. Are you?”

Alex smiled as she nodded. “I do.” She lost no time and went back to kiss her, her hands landing on y/n’s shirt.

********************

Alex woke up to the sun hitting her face, she forgot to move the curtains when she got home so now the sun was in a part of her room. She stretched a little and groaned as she moved, only to feel that she had no clothes on her and the only thing covering her was her blanket. She took a moment to register what happened the night before, and it clicked when she turned to look at a sleepy and naked y/n beside her. She smiled softly as she remembered the night before. Not wanting to get up yet, she laid on her stomach and faced y/n, her smile never fading away as she studied every single feature in her face.

Then her mind started wandering and she almost gasped at the realization that she had slept the whole night. It could’ve meant nothing, but she had been having a lot of trouble sleeping because of the cases they’ve had, her anxiety being present every single night making her have insomnia. But tonight she had slept, and she felt relaxed and rested, she could get used to this. She closed her eyes for a bit, not feeling like moving or doing anything at all. But then she felt the bed moving, she could hear y/n groaning softly and she couldn’t help but grin. She kept her eyes closed, the grin never leaving her face which gave her up, y/n knowing she was awake.

Y/n moved close to Alex and kissed her naked shoulder softly. “Morning.” She whispered.

“Morning.” Alex finally opened her eyes and looked at y/n, smiling.

“How long have you been awake?” Y/n laid her head back down on the pillow as her hand made patterns on Alex’s back.

“Not too long. I just didn’t feel like moving. Though I know my phone will go off anytime soon.” Alex chuckled.

Y/n smiled. “And I need to get home to change. My shift starts at 2 pm.”

“Why don’t you shower here?”

Y/n grinned as she raised her brow. “With you?”

Alex realized the insinuation of her question, she didn’t mean it like that, but she wouldn’t be opposed to it. “I don’t see why not.” She moved to sit up and stretch, looking back at y/n. Y/n stared at her and smiled, making Alex chuckle. “What?”

“You’re beautiful.” Y/n whispered softly as she smiled. “I don’t mean to come off as a creep, but even if you always look beautiful, right here…right now…you look the most beautiful.”

Alex bit her lip as she tried to hide her smile, she leaned down and kissed her lips softly. “You’re just as beautiful.” She smiled softly. “Now, let’s go to shower before my phone goes off.” She whispered against her lips before she pecked them.

********************

Alex sighed as she laid on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. She had been trying to sleep for the last 2 hrs but sleep was definitely not on her side. She had tried everything at this point, even had taken some pills for her anxiety but sleep was definitely not an option. She couldn’t quite understand why she was not able to sleep when in the last few days she had been sleeping just fine, but today they beat her up at trial and she had been a bit stressed about it. Also she had not been able to get lunch with y/n so that had added to her anxiety since she was now used to their little routine. She took her phone and stared at it for a moment, until she dialed the number and waiting, hoping she wouldn’t grab her in a bad moment.

“Hello?”

“Hi.” Alex smiled as she heard y/n.

“Lex! Hi! I’m so glad to hear your voice.”

Alex chuckled softly. “So glad to hear your voice too.” She smiled. “Are you busy?”

“No, I actually just finished with a patient, and I came to the on call room to lay down for a bit.” She sighed softly. “How are you? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

Alex bit her lip softly. “I can’t.”

“Is something bothering you, love?”

Alex smiled softly at the pet name, they randomly came but she loved when they did. “They beat my ass today. I worked with Liv and Elliot all day to try and find something that could help us.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something.”

“I know, just…” Alex sighed. “I cannot let this man walk free.“

“And you won’t. You got this.”

Alex smiled softly. “I wish you were here.” She whispered softly, almost to herself, but she knew y/n had heard her.

“Just a few more hours till my shift ends and I can go visit you at your office.”

“You don’t have to do that. I know you’re exhausted as it is.”

“I told you before…I’d do anything to get to see you for at least a minute. I can sleep later.”

Alex shook her head as she smiled. “You’re too cute.”

“And cheesy, but you seem to not mind it.” Y/n chuckled.

“Not one bit.” Alex smiled as she sighed. “I’ll let you get some sleep and I’ll try to sleep too.”

Y/n stayed silent for a moment. “Alex?”

“Yes?”

Another moment of silence and then Alex could hear a small sigh. “I’ll see you later.”

Alex furrowed her brows but nodded as if y/n could actually see you. “I will.”

Alex hung up the call and sighed softly as her eyes went back to looking up at the ceiling. Part of Alex’s work was to figure out people whether they were lying or not, she could either notice it in their body language or the way they talked, and their voices slightly changed. She had now been dating y/n for the last 4 months, they’ve made it official after the second night y/n had stayed over with her and she couldn’t be happier about it, but in the last week she could see that y/n was battling with herself about something, but Alex was not one to pressure her into talking -even if that was mostly what she did with her job-. At some point Alex closed her eyes and fell asleep, her mind clouded in thought of y/n.

********************

Y/n knocked on Alex’s door and smiled softly as Alex looked up and offered a smile. “Hello, Ms. Cabot.”

“Hello there.” Alex smiled softly as y/n closed the door behind her.

“I brought you some coffee and a sandwich. You can leave it for later.” Y/n said as she walked to Alex, putting her coffee in front of her and the box of the sandwich on the small table beside her desk.

Alex sighed, a smile on her face. “You didn’t have to.” She stood up and wrapped her arms around y/n’s neck.

Y/n smiled softly as she wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist. “I wanted to. You should be used to it by now.”

“You’re just too good to me.” Alex whispered softly as she closed the gap between them, giving her a sweet kiss.

“How are you doing today?”

Alex sighed. “Apparently Liv and Elliot are getting somewhere, Fin and Munch are trying to check on some records. Maybe we’ll get something out of it.”

Y/n leaned up to kiss her nose and smiled. “You got this, Lex. And I’ll be here for you.”

Alex smiled as she nodded, kissing her forehead softly. “Thank you.” She then chuckled. “What’s your height again?” She looked at y/n teasingly.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “You know, you might be a bit taller than me, but the heels are helping you. I’m not even short, you’re just too tall.”

Alex laughed softly as she nodded. “Okay.” She ran her fingers through y/n’s hair as her eyes stayed glued on hers. “Was there something you wanted to tell me earlier?”

Y/n’s breath hitched as she looked at Alex, thinking she might’ve forgotten. “I uh…well, sort of. But it wasn’t important.”

“You got all nervous. Sounds important. Anything I can help with?”

Y/n raised her brow. “You say that like you’d actually get me out of trouble. Will you get me out of jail if I murdered someone?” A playful tone in her voice as she kissed her cheek.

“I’d probably do it. Can’t say I won’t.” Alex grinned as she kissed her forehead again. “But don’t avoid the question.”

Y/n sighed softly as she closed her eyes, begging anyone that this would go okay. “Okay…I did want to say something, but I thought maybe it wasn’t the best moment to say it since it was through the phone and it was literally 3 am in the morning, so I held myself back from saying anything.”

Alex nodded. “Okay…I’m listening.” Y/n looked up at Alex and bit her lips, a hint of fear could be seen in her eyes and for a moment Alex regretted that she brought it up.

“I know we’ve been only dating for 4 months but…I love you, Alex.” Y/n smiled. “And you definitely don’t have to say it back. I’d understand entirely if this caught you off guard. I don’t expect anything back.”

Alex’s face softened at the words, her heartbeat racing as y/n spoke. She placed her hands on y/n’s cheeks and chuckled softly. “My love, stop rambling.”

Y/n sighed. “Sorry.”

Alex smiled. “I love you too.”

Y/n looked at Alex with a relieved expression, smiling softly. “You do?”

“Of course I do. How could I not? You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Alex pulled her close and kissed her lips softly.

“Now who’s cheesy?” Y/n whispered against her lips, kissing her again.

Alex chuckled softly as she pulled away, stroking her cheeks softly. “Hey…I know you want nothing but to sleep all day but…how about you sleep at my place tonight?”

Y/n tilted her head. “Sure, what time do you want me to meet you there?”

Alex bit her lip softly as she smiled. “How about I give you my keys and you wait for me? Get some sleep, something to eat, and I’ll get home after 7 pm.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I know I’ve stayed there but-“

“I’m sure.”

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “Okay. Sounds like a plan.” She tilted her head. “Do you mind if I shower there?”

“Not at all, you know where the towels are.” Alex went ahead to her purse and got her keys out, going back to y/n and handing her the keys. “Went grocery shopping already so fridge is kinda full, use whatever you need, and get some rest.” She kissed her forehead softly. “And thank you for the sandwich and the coffee.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Y/n chuckled as she leaned in to kiss her lips softly. “I’ll see you later. Will go to my apartment first for a bag.” She kissed her lips one last time. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Be safe.”

Alex smiled and blushed slightly as y/n blew her a kiss as she walked out of the office. She sighed happily as she returned to her desk. Never in a million years would she think that she’d be all in love with a beautiful girl, but things were definitely getting serious, and she was happy about it.

********************

Alex stood in front of her door trying to find her keys on her purse, cursing under her breath as she tried to remember where she had left them. Then a heavenly smell made her look up at her door, a smile appearing on her face as she remembered y/n was inside. She knocked on the door softly and waited, hearing footsteps approaching the door. As soon as the door opened, Alex looked up at her and her heart warmed at the sight of y/n smiling at her. She had spent the weekends with Alex before, whenever she didn’t have any shifts, but seeing her dressed so casually, was probably one of Alex’s favorite things.

“I love the way you’re looking at me, but I don’t think the pasta I’m cooking will agree with us.” Y/n grinned.

Alex chuckled as she walked into the apartment, pecking her lips softly. “Hi baby.”

“Hi.” Y/n whispered against her lips. “Back to the kitchen, your keys are in its place.” She went back almost running to the kitchen.

Alex closed the door behind her and locked it, putting both her coat and purse on the rack beside the door and taking her shoes off. She moaned quietly as her feet hit the cold floor, finally getting off those ridiculous heels she’s been wearing all day. She massaged the back of her neck as she walked to the kitchen, wanting to see what y/n was making for them. She smiled softly as she saw y/n working around her kitchen; y/n was definitely better at cooking, she always made sure to make either breakfast or dinner for them, knowing perfectly that it was the only times Alex actually had a proper meal that wasn’t a grilled cheese or take out. Alex couldn’t help but notice that she was wearing her Harvard hoodie, the smile never leaving her face; she definitely looked better in it, but she wouldn’t admit it. She walked to y/n and wrapped her arms around her waist, kissing the side of her neck softly.

“I see you got a new hoodie.” Alex whispered softly.

“Don’t tell my girlfriend, but I actually stole it from her closet. She’ll have it back, I just forgot to bring a hoodie and was cold.” Y/n chuckled softly and grabbed a bit of the pasta she had in front, blowing in it and putting her hand under it so it wouldn’t fall, turning slowly to Alex. “Taste it.”

Alex took the bite and sighed softly, closing her eyes. “Delicious.” She smiled as she looked at Y/n. “My favorite.”

Y/n shrugged. “I wanted to spoil you.” She smiled.

“Did you get some sleep?”

Y/n nodded. “I took a shower and then I was dead to the world for about 8 hrs. I got up and I decided to make dinner.” She smiled. “Go get changed while I serve dinner.”

“You really didn’t have to, but I appreciate it, love.” Alex kissed her cheek softly and disappeared into her room.

Once Alex was back, they both had dinner quietly at first, just enjoying each other’s company until y/n asked about Alex’s day, knowing that Alex had been stressed and maybe she needed to talk about it, so the rest of the dinner went with Alex letting all the stress and frustration she felt inside. As they finished dinner, Alex cleaned the kitchen telling y/n she’d meet her in bed soon. Even after all these months of getting to know each other and dating, Alex hadn’t had the guts to tell y/n that she normally took anxiety and sleeping pills to help her out a bit. It’s something she had put out there before, that she had both anxiety and insomnia, but somehow, telling y/n about it seemed a bit too much at the moment. She checked that doors and windows were closed, lights out and she then headed to her room, finding y/n reading a book while she waited for Alex. Alex stood there for a moment, thinking that she really could get used to this. She first went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and then walked to the bed and sat down, moving closer to y/n as she tried to see what she was reading.

“I thought you’d be reading a medical book or journal. Didn’t think you were a fantasy fan.” Alex grinned.

Y/n chuckled as she closed the book. “Well, sometimes it’s nice to get out of reality for at least a second.” She looked at Alex and smiled. “And it’s a romance novel.”

“Which are mostly based on fantasy. They make it seem too unrealistic, like in the movies.” Alex raised her brows as she teased.

“You’re no fun, Cabot.” Y/n rolled her eyes playfully and placed the book on the nightstand, turning off her light. She turned back to Alex and leaned in to kiss her lips softly. “So, what is realistic for Alexandra Cabot when it comes to romance?”

Alex sighed as she thought about it, grinning as she looked at y/n. “This. Us. Just…I don’t know. I like the way we work together.”

Y/n smiled. “I do too.”

“I wouldn’t change it for a thing.” Alex caressed y/n’s cheek and gave her a soft kiss. “C’mon, I’m sure you still want more sleep even after the 8 hrs.”

“It’ll definitely be better now that you’re here.” Y/n smiled and moved to Alex’s arms, resting her head against her chest. “Love you.”

Alex smiled softly and wrapped her arms around her tightly, kissing her forehead softly. “Love you too.”

The moment she felt y/n’s slow breath, she smiled and closed her eyes, falling asleep right after.

********************

Alex opened her eyes slowly, the sun coming through her window, making her groan a bit as she figured that she had to get up soon to get ready for work. But then something hit her, making her furrow her brows as she looked at the window; she hadn’t taken her sleeping pills. She opened her drawer trying to figure out if she probably didn’t because she ran out of or because she just forgot, but the bottle had enough for the next few weeks, so maybe she just forgot. She put it back inside and turned to look at y/n who was sound asleep. She laid there for a moment, a faint smile on her face as she thought back to all these months they’ve been together. She thought she was truly stupid or just an idiot, how could she not figure out that she slept so much better whenever y/n stayed because she was with y/n. It was the best sleep she got, feeling her close to her, whether she was in her arms or Alex was in her arms, just her presence made Alex feel so safe. And it took her all this time to figure out y/n helped her sleep better.

Alex laid there for a moment until she moved closer to y/n, her arm sneaking around her waist and pulling her closer, laying kisses on her naked shoulder and up her neck. Y/n sighed softly as she moved back into Alex, smiling softly but kept her eyes closed. Alex noticed and chuckled, leaving more kisses in her neck and up her jawline, she felt a bit bad about waking her up, but she really wanted to enjoy her morning before she got a call from someone from the precinct.

“I won’t mind waking up at all if this is the way you wake me up.” Y/n whispered softly, the raspy tone noticeable.

Alex kissed her shoulder and smiled. “I’d love to do that every day then. Sadly, I cannot do that when you stay at the hospital.”

Y/n chuckled, opened her eyes, and turned enough to look at Alex, one of her hands laying in Alex’s so she would leave it there. “Fair enough.” She leaned up and pecked her lips. “Morning.”

“Morning.” Alex smiled and leaned down to kiss her lips more properly. “I’m feeling some pancakes. Why do you say?”

“I can make some.”

“No, I meant I could order some.”

Y/n smiled. “You spoil me too much.”

“I love doing that a lot.” Alex kissed the tip of her nose. “Regular, chocolate or blueberry?” She moved to grab her phone and sit up in bed.

“Surprise me.” Y/n did the same and kissed Alex’s shoulder before she got up.

********************

“Alex?” Olivia asked softly as she knocked on her door.

Alex looked up and smiled. “Liv, hi. Can I help you?”

Olivia furrowed her brows as she walked into the office and sat down on one of the chairs. “I need a search warrant for the Levy case.”

Alex nodded. “What do you need it for?”

“We discovered that he might be hiding evidence, he collects prizes after rapping the girls and he could be keeping them in a special box. He also collects the underwear, so that might give us enough for an easy win.”

“And where did you get this information from?”

“One of the victims.”

Alex nodded. “Okay, I have an arraignment in an hour, I’ll try to find Petrovsky before that, and I’ll send it your way.” She smiled softly and went back to her paperwork.

Olivia furrowed her brows. “How’s your day been?”

Alex looked up at Olivia and smiled, a confused look on her face. “Uh…good? I guess?”

“A few weeks ago you looked like if we said something wrong, you’d throw us whatever you had on your reach. And now you look so…happy.”

Alex blushed slightly at the comment, knowing perfectly why she was like this. She took off her glasses and cleared her throat, looking down at her hands for a moment. “I’ve uh…I’ve been seeing someone. In the last few months. And…I figured out that whenever she stays for the night…I feel safe and comfortable that I wake up feeling so much better and well rested.” She smiled as she looked up at Olivia.

Olivia smiled, everything making sense now. “Does she lives with you now?”

Alex sighed as she looked down at her glasses, her fingers playing with them. “Not exactly. I mean- she has been coming to see me whenever her shifts end and then she goes back to my apartment.”

“So she basically already lives there.” Olivia chuckled.

Alex huffed a chuckle. “I’m an idiot for not asking her, huh?” She looked back at Olivia. “I’m afraid she’s not in the same page and I’ll ruin everything.”

“Alex, honey, she’s already staying with you every now and then. What if you’re also her comfort and that’s why she goes back to you every end of shift? Have you ever thought about it that way?”

Alex stared at Olivia for a moment, thinking back that she hasn’t. “Not exactly.”

Olivia nodded. “Ask her, and I’m sure she’ll say yes.”

Alex smiled. “I will.”

“How long have you been thinking about it?”

“Uh…2 months?” Olivia tilted her head. “Alex.”

“I know, I know. I will ask her.”

Olivia nodded. “You better, or I will for you.” She grinned as she chuckled, making Alex laugh.

********************

After the conversation with Olivia, Alex had in mind for 4 days how it would go down, or…overthought about how it could all go really down. She kept thinking over and over again how she could ask her. Was she supposed to just drop the question? Give her a key? Make a long ass conversation about it and then ask? Alex had never asked anyone to move in with her, hell she hasn’t even mentioned her anxiety and sleeping pills. She knew they’d come up at some point, but she didn’t know how to bring them up, she didn’t know how to ask y/n. Y/n had been braver than her when she told Alex she loved her, because it would’ve taken Alex another 2 to 3 months to tell her, just like the last 2 months that she let pass by and now she was having a hard time figuring out how she could ask her. She kept checking the time, waiting for it to be 9 pm, which was when y/n ended her shift. She knew today she was not coming to her apartment since it was late, and y/n’s apartment was closer to the hospital than Alex’s.

Alex sighed and went to her room, sitting down on her bed and looking at her pills. Was it too early to take them? Would she need them? She knew she’d definitely need them, but she was still in denial of taking them, but they had been so busy these past few days that y/n had not been able to come back to Alex’s, so she has been having a hard time to sleep. She sighed softly as she grabbed them and was about to grab the pill when she heard a knock on her door. She furrowed her brows but left the bottle in bed and walked out of her room. For a slight moment she felt a bit frightened because not everyone knew where she lived, but the moment she looked through the small hole in the door, she felt her heartbeat calming down and she sighed softly as she opened the door.

“Y/n, I was waiting to call you to ask if you were home safe.” Alex smiled softly but then her smile disappeared as she noticed y/n’s face. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Y/n swallowed hard as she looked up at Alex, trying to hold back her tears. “I uh- I know I was…not supposed to come today. I’m…I’m sure you’re exhausted. God, I’m so exhausted.” She covered her face with her hands as she sighed. “But I needed to see you.” She said softly almost in a cry as she looked back at Alex, tears forming in her eyes.

Alex quickly wrapped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her into the apartment, closing and locking the door quickly to give full attention to y/n. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

Y/n shook her head, letting Alex take her backpack and her coat off her. “I lost someone. In the ER.” She finally let the tears roll down as she sobbed. “S-She was so y-young. She was only ten. And I…I tried to help to stop…to stop the bleeding. We took her for an emergency surgery and she…she didn’t make it.”

Alex sighed softly as she wrapped her arms around y/n. “Love, I’m so sorry.” She kissed her forehead softly.

“It’s not the first patient but…Alex she was okay when she got there. And 10 minutes later, she was complaining about a pain, and she passed out. She looked so terrified and I…I couldn’t do anything else.” Y/n wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist and buried her face on her neck. “I should’ve done more. I should’ve hurried up and not think she was okay.”

“You did what you could. And I’m sure anyone would’ve done the same things you did.” Alex kissed her forehead again, walking them to the couch.

Y/n sighed softly as she leaned into Alex again, trying to stop her tears. “They already talked to me and said I did every possible thing but just…god.” She rubbed her face. “They saw me so bad that they gave me a week off, paid. They told Anika to take the week off too, she was as freaked out as I was, I mean…she was in charge, it was her OR.” She chuckled sadly. “

You need some rest and to clear your mind. You’re amazing, love. You all did everything.” Alex whispered softly, grabbing her hand.

Y/n nodded as she sniffled. “I’m sorry I…I just…I didn’t want to be alone. I just needed you.” She whispered softly as she pulled away enough to look at Alex. “I’m sure you’re tired and just wanted to sleep.”

“No, baby. I was waiting to call you.” Alex smiled. “And I’m actually really happy that your first thought was to come to me and not go to your apartment.” She let go of her hand and stroked her cheek softly. “I’m here whenever you need me, and when I’m not, I’m just a call away.”

Y/n smiled softly. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” Alex smiled and pecked her lips softly.

“I didn’t bring any clothes, I uh…I just came straight from the hospital.“

Alex thought for a second and thought it was now or never; could be the worst time but it could also be the best chance. “Maybe you should have clothes here. I mean…I don’t mind sharing mine. You look lovely in them.” She chuckled.

Y/n furrowed her brows as she smiled. “So I should just…bring my clothes in here? For when I stay?”

Alex bit her lip softly for a moment as she stared into those lovely eyes she loved so much. “Yes. But…maybe…maybe you should always stay.”

Y/n grinned softly. “Alex, baby…I know you can talk better than this. I’ve seen you in court.” She chuckled as she wiped away the last tears from her eyes.

Alex chuckled softly as she shook her head. “I’m sorry I’m…a bit nervous.” She smiled as she sighed. “What I mean…I’d like for you to move in, with me.”

Y/n’s face softened, tears forming in her eyes again. “Really?”

Alex nodded. “You know…I love the fact that you first thought about coming here because you needed me, because I need you as well.” She took a deep breath. “I suffer from anxiety, and I have trouble sleeping, insomnia. I took pills and I…I never told you because I didn’t think it’d be important. But when you’re here…when you stay with me, it’s the best sleep I have and I just live having you here with me. And if I can do the same for you…I’d do it every single day. Because I love you. And I’ll always be here.”

Y/n smiled through her tears. “Alex.”

“Oh, my darling. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Alex wiped her tears and kissed her forehead softly.

“They’re happy tears.” Y/n smiled. “I’d love to move in with you. I wish you could’ve told me about your anxiety and trouble to sleep. I’d have moved in since our first date.” They both laughed.

Alex shrugged. “I wouldn’t have minded that.” She grinned as they laughed. “But I mean it. I don’t want you to ever go.”

“Then I won’t.” Y/n smiled. “My lease is due next month actually. So…guess it was the perfect time to bring this up.” She chuckled. “I…wanted to bring it up but I was also a bit nervous.”

“Guess we both overthought so much about it.” Alex chuckled.

“Well, I’m glad you brought it up.” Y/n leaned in and kissed her lips. “Thank you.”

Alex tilted her head. “For what?”

“For being you. For loving me. For being here.” Y/n smiled.

“I should thank you for the same things.” Alex smiled. “Hey, how about we order something. I’ll ask for tomorrow off so I’m here with you.”

Y/n nodded. “Sounds good.” She smiled. “Could we…maybe…take a bath together?” She bit her lip as she looked at Alex.

Alex chuckled and nodded. “I don’t see why not.” She kissed her forehead softly before the two of them headed to her bedroom. Their bedroom.

[malarign]

butterflies

(how they would give you butterflies)

contains: bf!hyungline x fem!reader (individually) | genre: fluff | tw! making out in Sunghoon’s one, argument in Jake’s one | wc: 0,5k

reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreciated!!!

author’s note: be sure to check out Butterflies pt. 2 (how they would get butterflies)

for maknae line go here!

Lee Heeseung | 이희승

➶ eyes you up and down *ೃ༄

not in a perv way (unless,,,)

you could be doing nothing

he just stares either devouring you with his bare eyes

or scans through your new outfit

either ways he has a smile plastered on his face whole time

you blushing just makes him do that more and more

pls he’s a menace but we love it

➶ raises your head by your chin *ೃ༄

he would do that to gain your attention whenever you’re too lost in your phone

he would see your expression and literally hold his laugh because of how flustered you were

he knows whatever he’s gonna say you’re not gonna hear, because of the daze he caused

this man i swear

he knows what he’s doing and often overdoes it

always with the same effect though

Park Jongseong | 박종성

➶ grabs your waist *ೃ༄

pls doesn’t it scream park jongseong????

he would do that whenever he just feels like

he just likes having your body as close to his as it’s possible

does it in such nonchalant way i don’t think he even knows the effect it has on you

like you could be blushing, hiding your face in your hands

but he would frown and straight up ask

“why are you covering your face” 🤨

oh well, you tell me, sir

➶ massages your shoulders *ೃ༄

now when it comes to that

he certainly knows whenever he does it your heart beats faster

(probably cuz he can feel your heartbeat through your shoulders)

that’s why whenever he has an occasion to do that he sneaks up from behind you

and puts his hands on your shoulders, feeling how goosebumps fill your skin

that makes him smile

he likes knowing how wrapped he has you around his little finger

but not more that you have him

Sim Jaeyun | 심재윤

➶ puts a strand of your hair behind your ear *ೃ༄

you could be lecturing him after he did something wrong

or just arguing

but whenever he reaches to the side of your head to put lone strand behind your ear

you just forget what you wanted to say

that makes you lowkey angry

but seeing his pure expression just melts those feelings away

i can’t do this…

➶ sends you good morning and good nights texts *ೃ༄

even though he does it everyday

and you’re sure you’ll have a new message from him whenever you wake up

it just never fails to bring tons of butterflies to your stomach

sometimes it’s just plain text with simple emoji

sometimes it’s accompanied by a photo of him

(still in bed, no shirt on, hair messed up)

or sometimes he writes some cheesy stuff which makes you smile

but the butterflies stay the same

Park Sunghoon | 박성훈

➶ kisses your jaw behind your ear *ೃ༄

often does that while you make out

whenever he does that and senses you getting shy, he just smiles against your skin

and pleaseeee it just adds fuel to the fire

i feel like it just boost his ego and confidence

like he still has shy moments with you

especially if you’re confident by nature

but honestly for him whatever you do you emanate pure confidence and girl boss energy

but it makes him realize that he can have just as much control over you like you have on him

➶ picks you up *ೃ༄

pls he doesn’t work up for nothing

of course he wants to feel better and stay in shape

but if he can pick his partner up why wouldn’t he take an advantage of such amazing oppourtunity??

he enjoys it not only becaeuse of the consequences of it (your red ears and blush on your cheeks)

but also how close he has you then :(((

lowkey princess treatment

would pick you up after long day at work/school

or after a date

or literally after you did anything

man is WHIPPED

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

[celestialtarot11]

Song Lyric Messages 🤍🌹💌

Hi friends! 💘🌹 I thought I’d switch it up a little and channel you some song lyrics! This can be any message you need to hear 💗🌟 enjoy, feel free to like, comment and reblog! I’m loving this red theme.

Pile 1:

• 🥀💌 “Feelings, so deep in my feelings. No, this ain’t really like me. Can’t control my anxiety. When I’m with you I can’t breathe. Boy, you do something to me. Ooh, I’ll never get over you until I find something new.” -Boo’d up by Ella Mai.

If you’ve been going through a breakup, separation or no contact situation, it’s been bothering you deeply. You may try to repress how you feel, but it keeps coming up, and your resistance could bring more harm than good. Your message is it’s okay to feel what you need to feel through the experience, anxiety will pass too. It’s okay to miss someone whether that was a friend too, it doesn’t necessarily need to be romantic here. Prioritize yourself, your experience, and journal about how it affected you. Give yourself a voice and watch yourself bloom 🌹🤍

💌 Some journal prompts 💌

• How did this experience affect me?

• How did I react to the experience?

• What is changing in my life and how do I feel about it?

Pile 2:

• 🥀💌 “You make me dance, bring me up, bring me down, play it sweet. Make me move like a freak, Mr. Saxobeat.” -Mr. Saxobeat By Alexandra Stan.

It’s a wonderful time for manifesting! Now, if you don’t know this song…😤 we’re gonna have some problems. But back to the main point, now is a wonderful time to manifest and celebrate! Either something new is coming into your life, or you’ve reached a point of self actualization that is setting you free. You feel so free, happy and excited. Maybe someone new is coming in, or has. Or you are manifesting someone. Here’s a wonderful sign whatever it is, is coming! Allow yourself to receive. If you’ve been pondering on what to manifest, here are some journal prompts:

💌 Some journal prompts 💌

• “Where does my heart want me to go next?”

• “If I could truly have everything I desired what would it be?”

• “What would happen if I manifested it? What would my life look like then?”

Pile 3:

• 🥀💌 “Just let my love, just let my love adorn you. Please baby, yeah. You gotta know, you gotta know. Know that I adore you. Yeah baby.” -Adorn by Miguel

This could be a message from a person directly! They want to tell you how much they adore you, and love you for who you are. They want to tell you how much they’ve been desiring to talk to you, and tell you how they feel deep down. I saw the knight of cups in my vision, so this person feels for you and wants to make a sweet advancement 🌟🥂 that is a card or courtship! If not a person, your inner child wants to let you know they adore you for all you do, and they admire your resilience, strength and ability to love. That’s all they ever wanted, and you giving them that is something they truly appreciate.

💌 Some extra messages 💌

• December may be important.

• They are ready to listen.

• Progress is being made.

Pile 2:

• 🥀💌 “Baby while we’re young. I think we should do something crazy. Like say fuck everyone, and just run away from the daily routine. Yeah, you know what I mean.” -While We’re Young by Jhené Aiko.

It’s important to spend your time focusing on the present moment. Your inner child wants to feel free, happy, and passionate about where they are going next. Take a leap of faith, let life play out as it’s meant to. You are meant to be here now. What would happen if you let it happen to you? Instead of forcing, pushing and moving, sit back and breathe. You may be missing out the more you take control. And maybe it’s time to observe, and let it be 🌟💖

💌 Some journal prompts 💌

• Where can I let go a little more today?

• What do I think will happen if I went with the flow?

• What message does my favorite self have for me?

Pile 5:

• 🥀💌 “That’s the way everyday goes. Every time we’ve no control. If the sky is pink and white, if the ground is black and yellow, it’s the same way you showed me. Nod my head, don’t close my eyes.” -Pink + White by Frank Ocean.

Foster more security and stability in yourself. All is well, all is okay. The moment that exists now is for you. If you’ve been bored of your routine do something sporadic, different and spontaneous. You are seeing clearly, maybe there was a lot of truths you couldn’t face in the past, and now it’s helping you understand more. There are many layers to what we don’t see at first, when we peel it back, then we understand. It’s like you’ve reached a major point of understanding a situation, person or yourself. Or life in general. Its happening to realign you with where you’re meant to be 💗🧘‍♀️

💌 Some journal prompts 💌

• What am I seeing clearly that I didn’t before?

• Where can this perspective take me?

• Which perspective empowers me?

Pile 6:

• 🥀💌 “Baby you’re the baddest, baby you’re the baddest girl. Nobody else matters, nobody else matters girl.“ -Les by Childish Gambino.

Confidence and empowerment is your theme for December. It’s time to step up and realize your worth. If you’ve been working on yourself it’s to help you build your self esteem, and confidence in taking the next step. Create your own intentions, plant your own seed, let you have your own experience. There is enough space for you to begin now, move forward self assured and confident 💗🥂

💌 Some journal prompts 💌

• What area of my life do I want to focus on next?

• What is this area of life requiring of me?

• Where do I need to mature and develop better skills?

Paid Readings 🌹💖

Distance Energy Healing Services 🌙🌃

[kingofbodyrolls]

My Heart's Home (m) | pjm | nine

🐴Chapter summary: You haven’t talked to Jimin in months— he has been successful in avoiding you since he saw Yoongi kiss you. But when a charity gala forces you together, will you erupt like an active volcano? 🐴Chapter title: Take the Rain Away 🐴Pairings: jimin x reader (main), jungkook x reader (only happens once in the first chapter), jungkook x OC (jessi), namjoon x OC (jessi), yoongi x hoseok, namjoon x oc, seokjin x oc, taehyung x oc 🐴Characters: female reader (isn’t mentioned by name and no “y/n”), Jimin, Jungkook, Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Seokjin, Taehyung and four female original characters. 🐴Genre/AU: ranch!au, slice of life!au, soulmate!au, cowboy!au + smut, humor, fluff, romance, slow burn and angst 🐴Rating: mature/explicit/R18 – this is mature/explicit content, so minors, please do not interact!

🐴Disclaimer: I do not own BTS or know them personally and this work of fiction is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only. The actions and personalities described in the story do not reflect those of BTS— it’s just fiction. Also, if you would kindly read the tags/warnings before reading, that would be lovely: and if you don’t like whatever is described in the tags, just hit return and find something else to read. Thank you 🌸 🐴Chapter warnings: yelling and curse words 🤭 Jin’s pink slipper is finally here (though it’s not him wielding it lol) 🩴 🐴Status: completed 🥳 🐴Word count: 8.2k

🐴Taglist: @kookswifesblog, @kiki-zb, @babejinnie, @ownthesunshine, @allie-is-a-panda, @glllhjh, @bergandysam, @13-manggaetteok, @jeonsbabygirlsworld, @antisocial-mochi267,

🛑 psa to all you lovely people on the taglist, I’ve seen that some of you aren’t interacting… I’m wondering if you’re still reading or not— do you wish to be removed from the taglist? It’s okay if you don’t like it anymore, I can remove you if you want to 🛑

🐴Now playing 💿 “Take the Rain Away” by Rebecca Lavelle. [Wanna listen to the serie’s playlist?] 🐴Author’s note: can you tell I wrote this chapter while severely depressed (as I did the previous)? 🥲 But, it was very easy to channel all my feelings into it, so I wrote it in like a day while crying most of the time. But here it is! Also, again I’m sorry. I’m really going through it and dealing with my depression, so I’m sorry if I take longer to reply… I do look at your messages though! I don’t know, life is hard and I’m waiting to get a referral from my doctor… all that shit takes such a freaking long time! But yeah, I’m still struggling, but I’m doing my best to hang in there; bad days and a few good days finally. Thank you all so much for reading and for sticking with the story, tbh there were a few times in the latest chapters where I just wanted to delete it all and stop posting.. But yeah, thank fuck🫂 Also… I really hope you’ll love the next chapter and please don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts in either a comment or a reblog ☀️💦 🐴Author’s note #2: I'm sorry… today I'm feeling extremely emotional and anxious. It’s making me cry and my head is so heavy with a lot of thoughts… I hope you still like the chapter, right now I’m afraid it’s crap, so I’ll go hide (don't mind me, this is 50% my anxiety speaking). See ya on Thursday lovelies!

It’s been cross posted to AO3 if you prefer to read there. Wanna see the book cover?

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“Take the rain away Take the rain away Give me hope Give me love Make it sweet from above Take the rain away Oh take the rain away Give me praise Give me heart Take the rain away”- ‘Take the Rain Away’ by Rebecca Lavelle

The rain pelts on your windows, a rhythmic symphony against the glass that serves as the melodic backdrop to your dance with the paintbrush. Each stroke elicits a clench in your heart, a poignant harmony with the emotions that escape onto the canvas. Despite a tear finding its way down your cheek, you persist. The canvas becomes a vibrant tapestry, weaving through an array of red hues, from the delicate blush of pink to the profound richness of vermillion. In this intimate dance, you surrender to the guidance of the brush, allowing the strokes to tell a story only your heart understands.

The paintbrush becomes the voice of your unspoken thoughts, an ethereal extension of your mind that guides you through an escape. It whisks you away to an alternate reality, a place where joy and serenity prevail. Yet, as you gaze upon your canvas, the illusion shatters – a mosaic of red tones, a stark reflection of your inner turmoil. You’re aware of the truth it conceals, reluctant to acknowledge the lingering ache for a man who remains silent, a man whose choices have been clear and that choice wasn’t you. But why the heck would he decide to date someone that looks like you?

The baffling revelation still eludes you, a persistent enigma that has gnawed at your thoughts for days since the girls disclosed it. The meaning behind it remains a puzzle, and you find yourself grappling with the uncertainty. There’s an urge to confront Jimin, to seek answers, but the apprehension holds you back. 

Instead, you retreat to the solace of your bedroom, losing yourself in the strokes of your paintbrush. Each canvas becomes a testament to your emotional turmoil, saturated in shades of red that echo anger and sadness. The thought of whether anyone would buy these artworks fades into insignificance; the therapeutic process takes precedence, offering a semblance of peace in the midst of your inner storm.

For a solid week, the relentless rain has played its melancholic symphony, a constant companion to your shifting moods. While you don’t inherently despise the rain, its prolonged presence begins to cast a subtle veil of gloom. The weather, once a neutral backdrop, now becomes a weight on your shoulders, a persistent force tugging at the edges of your mind, leaving a trace of subtle melancholy in its wake.

Perhaps a twinge of bitterness creeps in, accompanied by an admission of jealousy as you observe Jungkook becoming a frequent overnight guest. Their shared moments are anything but discreet, the resonance of their love making echoing through the walls. You’ve mastered the art of drowning out those sounds, resorting to nocturnal strolls when needed. In the depths of your heart, you yearn for the same intimacy, but with Jimin. 

You sigh, feeling utterly deflated. Life never goes the way to want it to. Why can’t you just have something good happening for once?

In the dead of night, raindrops patter on your skin as you venture out once more for a solitary walk. The rhythmic percussion of raindrops becomes a welcome reprieve, drowning out the less-than-subtle sounds emanating from your sister’s room. Ugh. it’s just great— now you can’t stand people in love anymore! Despite your genuine happiness for your sister and Jungkook, witnessing their affectionate gestures becomes a bitter pill to swallow. The kisses, the embraces, the whispered words—all of it, a poignant reminder of what you yearn for with Jimin. 

If only you could have that.

You know that jealousy is a nasty feeling and it leaves you feeling bitter inside.

The rain penetrates your jacket, seeping through to your skin—a subtle reminder of your lack of preparation. Cursing under your breath, you navigate through the yard, each step burdened with the weight of your drenched attire. As you reach one of the paddocks, darkness envelops you, the atmosphere dense and humid, mirroring the warmth and heaviness echoing in your chest. Yet, you yearn for this feeling to dissipate, much like the wishful thought that the rain will cease, allowing the sun to once again cast its hopeful rays upon you.

Lifting your gaze to the sky, the night sky unfolds above you, a vast canvas adorned with innumerable stars shimmering in their cosmic dance. A sigh escapes your lips, a blend of appreciation and melancholy. The celestial display, though undeniably beautiful, carries a bittersweet weight tonight, stirring emotions that twirl like distant constellations in the vast expanse above.

With the rain as your shield, you ponder whether it’s safe to return inside again or not. Opting to let the rhythmic dance of raindrops cloak you further, you choose the soothing drumbeat of rain over the potential moans echoing through the walls. It’s better to give them more time to finish whatever they are doing, instead of going back and having to listen to it.

As the rain clings to your clothes and skin, an uncomfortable yet strangely welcomed sensation, you yearn for more than just the soothing touch of the downpour. Hoping against hope, you wish the rain could wash away the turmoil in your chest, or perhaps, deliver to you the one thing you crave and need the most—love. 

Jimin.

In the recesses of your heart, the truth echoes loudly— he is the one meant for you, and the regret gnaws at your soul for not confessing your feelings earlier. The fear of disrupting and jeopardizing his current relationship hangs heavy, a bitter pill you swallow. His decision is made, and you must bear the weight of it. 

Frustration clenches your hands as you yearn for a conversation, a connection—anything to breach the walls he’s created, leaving you to wonder why he’s avoiding you or won’t acknowledge you at all.

As your breath quickens, tears intertwine with the raindrops on your cheeks, a blurred fusion where your own sorrows become indistinguishable from the weeping sky.

Your clothes cling to you, saturated by the persistent rain, and you decide it’s time to retreat from the star-studded night. With a silent farewell to the celestial display, you make your way back into the house, yearning for the solace of a quiet room, and silently hoping your sister and Jungkook have concluded their love making.

As you open the door and traverse the hallway, the muffled exchange of hushed voices reaches your ears, causing your heart to sink. Determined, you press on and step into your bedroom, conveniently situated next to your sister’s. Lately, you’ve cursed this proximity, contemplating the idea of seeking refuge downstairs in the guestroom.

The rhythmic creaking of the bed and muted moans persist, making you release a weary sigh, hastily snatching your pillow to shield your ears from the intimate sounds infiltrating the air.

Morning arrives, and you’re weary, having fallen asleep with the pillow cocooned around your head. Your once-neat hair now resembles a bird’s nest, and your body, feeling rigid and sore, yearns for the elusive embrace of a restful night’s sleep.

Fatigue clinging to every step, you drag your weary body to the bathroom, performing the mundane rituals of brushing teeth and washing your face. The mirror mercilessly reflects the under-eye bags, taunting reminders of restless nights. A scoff escapes your lips as you splash water on your face, a futile attempt to shake off the lingering exhaustion and rouse yourself from the morning haze.

When you finally emerge from the bathroom, Jungkook steps out of your sister’s room, wearing a sheepish yet gentle smile. Weariness etched on your features, you respond with a weary nod, acknowledging his presence.

Apology etched in his expression, he inquires, “Did we disturb your sleep?” 

Concern lines his face, yet beneath the surface, a subtle smirk plays on his lips as his eyes sweep over your tired form.

“It’s fine,” you sigh, the weight of exhaustion evident in your voice, though deep down, you acknowledge that ’fine’ is a distant echo from the truth. 

“We’ll keep it down,” he assures, a warm smile gracing his features as he absentmindedly scratches his head. A soft chuckle escapes you, an acknowledgment of the genuine sweetness and kindness that radiate from him.

“Jungkook, really, you don’t have to worry. I’ll grab some earplugs or whatever,” you laugh, the sound devoid of true joy. Despite your attempts at humor, each forced smile or chuckle only serves as a reminder of the hollowness and sorrow settling in your chest.

Jungkook gives you a reluctant nod, a silent acknowledgment of your weariness and the deflated emotions you carry. With a heavy heart, you retreat into your room to get dressed, the weight of the morning and the unresolved thoughts lingering in the air.

As you descend and enter the kitchen, the comforting aroma of Ha-rin’s nearly finished breakfast fills the air. Offering a hand, you assist her in setting up the table in the cozy dining room. The rarity of having everyone gather for a meal is not lost on you; usually, you’re consumed by solitary, hurried bites as the demands of the ranch beckon. However, today unfolds differently, marked by an unusual slowness in the rhythm of ranch life.

“You look tired,” she observes with a gentle concern in her voice as the two of you collaborate in setting the table. A soft chuckle escapes you, a mixture of acknowledgment and self-deprecating humor. It’s as if they’ve pointed out the obvious—yes, you’re aware you don’t look your best, but must they bring attention to it?

“Thanks. Jungkook and Jessi kept me up again,” you respond with a weariness that seeps into both your voice and posture, a tiredness underscored by a stifled yawn.

As you turn your head, Jungkook and Jessi stand in the doorframe, wearing apologetic expressions that mirror the remorse evident in their eyes.

“We’re sorry,” your sister offers a sincere smile as she pulls out a chair, settling down. Jungkook follows suit, immediately diving into the meal with an eagerness that hints at his hunger.

“It’s fine,” you brush off their apologies with weary eyes and a nonchalant wave. “At least you’re getting some,” you jest, but an awkward hush descends upon the room. The atmosphere turns dense, and their uncertain expressions reveal they’re unsure how to react. “Don’t mind me; I’m just... frustrated. Not at you, though!” you quickly reassure them, taking a seat and joining in the meal.

For a few minutes, an uncomfortable silence descends, wrapping around the room like an unwelcome guest. It’s the kind of awkward stillness that feels stifling and peculiar, and you find yourself yearning for someone to break it, to utter anything to shatter the tension lingering in the air.

“We actually have something to tell you,” your sister begins, and as you meet her eyes, you notice a sparkle of excitement, maybe even love, dancing in them. Her happiness is contagious; a radiant smile graces her lips, and a delicate pink hue adorns her cheeks, complementing her beautifully. It’s a sight that warms your heart, pulling a genuine smile from you in return.

Jungkook gently moves his hand over Jessi’s, giving it a tender squeeze, and his eyes gleam with a radiant light, an unmistakable shimmer of affection, you presume. Their laughter dances in the air, and their shared smiles are like a silent declaration of the love that binds them.

“We’ve been meaning to share something with you,” your sister begins, her voice laced with a mix of excitement and apprehension. “Jungkook and I are dating,” she announces, and you can’t help but feel your smile broaden. You observe the subtle exchange of glances between them, a blend of happiness and nervousness, as if unsure of how you’ll react to this newfound chapter in their relationship.

Your eyes glisten with unshed tears, and you can’t help but beam, your emotions laid bare. “That makes me so happy to hear!” A single tear escapes, and you playfully scold yourself, but deep down, you’re overwhelmed with joy for your sister and Jungkook.

Your sister’s concern deepens as she leans in, her eyes reflecting worry. “Are you okay with this? You seem a bit sad…”

With tear-streaked cheeks, you point to your clearly emotional face, chuckling through the joyful tears. “This? I’m just thrilled for you. I just... wish I had that too. But I’m genuinely happy for you.” Sniffling, you manage a smile, though your plate is nearly obscured by your overwhelming emotions.

Jungkook, your sister, and Ha-rin exchange concerned glances, but wisely refrain from prying further. You believe they’ve caught on; your weeks of moping and the emotional rollercoaster have left little room for secrets. It’s ridiculous, you scold yourself internally, navigating the intricate maze of your own emotions. The irony of grieving a relationship that never truly existed weighs heavy on your chest, and you can’t help but feel a pang of sorrow for what could have been.

Genuine happiness radiates within you for their newfound relationship, and you don’t perceive it as strange. Sure, there was a fleeting encounter with Jungkook, as Jessi pointed out, but it was just that—a passing moment. You never harbored romantic feelings for him; your joy stems from seeing them genuinely happy together. Yet, an undeniable pang echoes in your heart, a yearning for that elusive connection you witness in them, to have that special someone— and that someone is Jimin.

Caught in the whirlwind of conflicting emotions, you grapple with the uncertainty of your feelings for Jimin. Every attempt to navigate this emotional maze has hit a dead end – avoiding him, attempting conversations that fall on deaf ears, and even embracing silence only to be met with his intense gaze. 

The enigma that is Jimin remains beyond your comprehension. Your desire for him lingers, leaving you in a perplexing predicament with no clear path forward.

“Relax your shoulders,” Yoongi’s voice cuts through the rhythmic sounds of hooves against the earth, offering guidance as a fiery-red mare gracefully circles you in the pen. Perched atop the fence, Yoongi, accompanied by Hoseok, shares his insights. Lately, with the challenging task of taming wild horses, Hoseok has become an invaluable ally, contributing his skill and energy to the shared pursuit.

His involvement extends beyond mere assistance; he actively contributes to the preparations, occasionally joining your rides and, on other occasions, simply sharing moments as you engage in the day’s tasks. Today, he observes with keen interest, his presence an unspoken support in the rhythm of your work.

You attempt to find your focus, and you let your shoulders sag, reminding yourself of the importance of a calm and clear mind in handling the unpredictable nature of the horses. Despite your efforts, stress and frustration linger, making the task more challenging. Today seems particularly difficult. Your gaze repeatedly drifts toward Yoongi and Hoseok, seated closely. The air between them carries a subtle tension, Yoongi fidgeting with his shirt, an uncharacteristic unease marking his demeanor. It’s funny how being around someone you like can change the way you behave.

You let out a soft chuckle, finding Yoongi’s crush on Hoseok endearing. The uncertainty of whether Hoseok reciprocates, or even what his preferences are— if he’s into men, women or both. You have no clue, but you genuinely hope that Hoseok shares Yoongi’s feelings; knowing that Yoongi could use a guy like Hoseok in his life.

The red mare’s whinny echoes through the air as it breaks into a wild gallop, gracefully navigating the pen with powerful bucks. This one, a recent addition, demands more patience than its counterparts. However, you embrace the challenge, recognizing that each horse is unique, and you’re willing to invest the time needed to build trust and understanding.

You let the spirited mare run around the pen, attempting to divert your attention from its antics. Instead, your gaze returns to the two men on the fence. They’re engaged in casual conversation, possibly about work, but the genuine smile on Yoongi’s face has an inexplicable effect on your heart. Hoseok’s eyes light up at every word from Yoongi, and it feels as if your heart could burst into a garden of blossoming flowers. In that moment, you yearn for a connection as beautiful and captivating as the one unfolding before you.

As your gaze drifts, it travels up to the yard, settling on the house that holds the thoughts of the man who occupies your every waking moment—Jimin. The silence between you two persists, leaving you in a state of anticipation. Every now and then, you catch glimpses of him with Deiji, their laughter echoing through the air. Despite the small flower in your chest withering at the sight, you remind yourself it’s okay, even though anger still lingers.

“Watch out!” Hoseok shouts, leaping down from the fence with Yoongi in tow. Before you can react, you find yourself sprawled on the ground with a thud. A frustrated groan escapes your lips as you rub your back, rolling over to your side.

You spot Yoongi approaching the red mare, hands raised in the air, skillfully redirecting its attention away from you. Meanwhile, Hoseok is already down on his knees beside you. As your eyes flutter open, a wave of confusion washes over you.

Concern fills Hoseok’s voice as he asks, “Are you okay?” 

Your gaze meets his, lingering confusion evident. Meanwhile, Yoongi persists in his attempt to soothe the red mare, now employing a gentler approach, his words whispered in a hushed tone.

Your eyes lock with Hoseok’s as you ask, “What happened?” 

His outstretched hand becomes your anchor, pulling you up into a sitting position, your fingers instinctively rubbing your sore back again.

His words hit you, “The horse ran you over,” accompanied by a subtle chuckle. Yet, his eyes reveal a deeper concern as he carefully scans you, ensuring that you’re genuinely okay.

You glance around in confusion at the sandy expanse of the pen. 

“It did?” you inquire, perplexed, your gaze shifting down to the ground where you find yourself. You must have blacked out or something. You assess your body, feeling a general lack of pain, at least not as much as you expected.

“I think I’m fine,” you assure Hoseok, allowing him to help you up as you stand. You dust off the sand from your pants and shirt, trying to regain a sense of composure.

Yoongi, having calmed the mare, walks over to you. “Are you sure you’re fine?” he asks, raising a brow as he looks you up and down. You chuckle, dismissing any concern with a wave of your hand. There’s no need for a fuss over a simple fall.

“I’m fine. I was just pushed. No biggie!” you declare, gesturing with your hands to reassure them that everything is under control.

“Maybe we should take a look at you at the house?” Hoseok suggests, and you instantly flinch, a wave of apprehension washing over you.

“Oh god no. I’m fine, and I really don’t want to go in there,” you state firmly, a pressed smile on your face. The last thing you need is to see Jimin with Deiji again; better to stay clear of them, as you’ve been doing recently. Both Yoongi and Hoseok laugh, and you notice the way they look at each other, as if there’s something you’ve missed. For a split second, you feel left out before joining in the laughter yourself.

You ask Yoongi to finish working on the red mare while you and Hoseok take a seat on top of the fence. From there, you observe him letting the horse run about, much like you did earlier. Yoongi always appears so relaxed when he’s working. His ability to keep his mind sealed off and clear during tasks is incredible. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for you or Hoseok. The dynamic between the three of you is unique, each with your own way of approaching the work at hand.

The happy-go-lucky man next to you appears captivated by watching Yoongi work; his eyes shine as bright as the sun. The way he holds his breath, as if the air is too thick with something, sparks a glimmer of hope within you. Perhaps it’s because he might harbor feelings for Yoongi.

You meticulously apply eyeliner and mascara, ensuring you look flawless. Returning to your room, your eyes fall upon the elegant purple satin gown laid out on your bed. The floor-length attire boasts a sweetheart neckline, perfectly complemented by a pair of carefully chosen low heels that you gracefully slip into.

Before stepping out, you steal a moment to gaze at your reflection in the mirror, and what stares back at you is nothing short of captivating.

As you step outside your door, you encounter your sister, adorned in a floor-length gown of deep blue that borders on the verge of velvety blackness.

“Wow, you look stunning,” you compliment your sister, and she responds with a soft smile, her fingers nervously dancing with the edges of her purse.

“Thanks, you look incredible too,” she smiles warmly, and together you descend the stairs to join the other girls.

Ara, Soo-ah, and Ha-rin await you downstairs, adorned in stunning gowns for the night’s gala in town. The charity event, featuring an auction, aims to raise funds for the local hospital’s children’s ward. Ara stuns in a radiant red dress, Soo-ah elegantly dons baby blue, prompting you to ponder if it’s her favorite color, and Ha-rin exudes sophistication in a black gown. The quartet, a vision of beauty, gathers in the kitchen, the air buzzing with excitement for the glamorous night ahead.

“Ready for an enchanting evening, everyone?” you inquire, casting a smile across the group, your eyes dancing with anticipation.

“Yeah!” Soo-ah cheers with infectious joy, and without a second thought, you all rush to the door, hitch up your dresses, and dash into the yard, the relentless rain already kissing your gowns with its playful touch.

You hastily hop into the car, and Jessi swiftly ignites the engine, reversing out of the yard. The rain’s symphony dances on the windshield, while the sun gracefully sets, painting the sky in captivating shades of gold and pink.

Jessi navigates the road with precision, and the group settles into a comfortable ease. Casual conversations and light-hearted jokes fill the air, yet your mind strays elsewhere, tethered to thoughts of Jimin. Anticipating his presence at the gala, you resolve to keep a careful distance, aware that the crowd might offer a shield for the avoidance you seek.

Navigating the rain-drenched roads adds extra time to your journey into town, but finally, you pull up in front of City Hall. The building itself seems to have donned its best attire for the occasion, adorned with banners and a vibrant red carpet that unfurls invitingly through the grand entrance.

As Jessi skillfully parks the car, you hastily step out, seeking refuge under the overhang of the building to escape the relentless rain. A quick scan of the parking lot reveals the presence of Jimin and Jungkook’s trucks, instantly causing a pang in your chest. The prospect of encountering Jimin tonight tightens your heart, and you brace yourself for the emotional storm that might follow.

“Ugh I fucking hate the rain,” Soo-ah groans beside you, her disdain for the downpour resonating with your own sentiments. Your chuckle, a small escape from the damp reality, lingers in the misty air.

Ensuring everyone is prepared, you lead the way into the grand hall. The opulence hits you instantly – a symphony of golds and reds creating a lavish spectacle. The vast space is adorned with small, round tables draped in rich red cloth, each topped with flickering candles. Towards the front, a podium commands attention, surrounded by carefully curated art pieces. Among them, proudly displayed, are a couple of your own paintings, awaiting their moment in tonight’s charitable auction.

Approaching the guys, you’re met with a sight to behold—Jungkook impeccably clad in a black tux adorned with subtle stripes, while Yoongi and Hoseok exude charm in their tuxedos, each strand of hair meticulously styled. Embracing them warmly, your attention shifts to Jimin, not far off, accompanied by his stunning girlfriend. The duo radiates elegance, and you can’t help but curse Jimin silently for his undeniable allure— his ass looks so good in those pants. His tux drapes his frame flawlessly, accentuating every curve, and you catch yourself practically drooling before quickly averting your eyes.

Spotting his gaze directed your way, you respond with a silent nod. Despite your desire to keep your distance, you choose the path of politeness, offering this small acknowledgment in the crowded elegance of the gala.

The room swells with a mix of familiar faces and strangers. Across the expanse, you catch sight of Namjoon and Seokjin at a neighboring table. With a warm smile, you extend a friendly wave in their direction.

As the auction commences, you navigate through the crowd toward a table, silently grateful for opting for low heels to spare your feet. A glass of champagne in hand, you join Yoongi, Hoseok, Soo-ah, and Ara at a table. Meanwhile, Ha-rin has engaged in a lively conversation with Namjoon and Seokjin across the room, their friendship evident even from a distance.

Jessi and Jungkook are stationed at a table alongside Jimin and Deiji, and a scoff escapes you when your gaze lands on Jimin. The silence between you two remains, a lack of surprise settling in as a familiar companion at this point.

He appears incredibly alluring, like a full-course meal, and something stirs within your veins—a concoction of anger and jealousy, perhaps. The desire to speak to him, to feel his touch, clashes with the urge to tear him apart. Later, the thought of dancing with him lingers, but the awkwardness stemming from his radio silence and the undeniable truth that he isn’t yours keeps you at a wary distance.

The auctioneer’s voice becomes a distant murmur, his words lost in the whirl of paintings and various items on the stand. Your attention, however, is not tethered to the auction; instead, it’s ensnared by the intensity in Jimin’s gaze. The way his eyes lock onto yours mirrors a familiarity, reminiscent of the look he gave you weeks ago during Jessi’s cast celebration dinner. The unspoken depth in his eyes unsettles you, inducing a subtle sweat, nervous energy, and an involuntary gulp.

With no refuge in sight, you attempt to anchor yourself in the rhythm of your heartbeat, a desperate bid to quell the storm of emotions swirling within you.

Indeed— sin personified gazes your way, but what does it matter? His silence, his refusal to engage, grates on your last nerves. You know you’re at an auction right now, and it would be weird to talk at this event, but dammit, he could just come over and ask you for a talk, pull you off to another room. Anything, really. 

A sly smile graces your lips as Yoongi playfully nudges your shoulder, and you, in turn, lean into the comfort of his presence. A subtle shift in Jimin’s gaze doesn’t go unnoticed, the intensity of his eyes deepening as the unspoken tension weaves through the air.

Hoseok playfully nudges you as your vibrant red painting graces the auction stage. Surprisingly, an elegant elderly lady becomes enamored with it, bidding generously and claiming it as her own. Gratitude swells within you, knowing that the proceeds will contribute to a worthy cause.

Jimin’s unwavering gaze continues to linger on you, an irritation bubbling within. You question why he can’t redirect his attention to his girlfriend or, at the very least, the ongoing auction.

The auction unfolds in the background, but your focus remains unyielding to the bidding, stolen by the persistent gaze of the blonde man. His intense gaze feels like he’s stripping you down with his eyes. Yet you remain nonchalant, indifferent to his silent advances.

During a brief respite, as delectable appetizers circulate the room, you discreetly savor the miniature delights, determinedly diverting your attention from Jimin as per your original strategy.

Abruptly, you interject into the group’s conversation, “Is there something on my face?” Their perplexed gazes pivot towards you, uncertain of the sudden inquiry.

As you munch on a bite of food, you nonchalantly toss in, “Jimin keeps giving me these intense stares, and I just don’t get it.”

Yoongi and Hoseok share a knowing chuckle, their eyes reflecting a camaraderie that Soo-ah and Ara immediately catch onto, shooting you looks of playful understanding.

“No, there’s nothing on your face,” Soo-ah says with a teasing smile, her words dripping with a playful undertone.

“Maybe you should talk to him?” Ara suggests, her voice carrying a gentle note of encouragement, like a flicker of a candle in the dim room of uncertainty.

“He doesn’t want to talk, and I hardly think this is the place for it…” you say, the words hanging in the air like a fleeting sigh, drowned out by the buzz of conversations around you as you take a thoughtful sip of your champagne.

You redirect your attention to the auctioneer, a black vase taking center stage this time. As the bidding unfolds, you indulge in another sip of champagne, feeling the effervescent bubbles dance teasingly across your tongue, a subtle distraction from the tension in the room.

As the final gavel falls, signaling the end of the auction, a wave of relief washes over you. The speakers come alive with soulful melodies, casting a warm ambiance over the room. To your surprise, the atmosphere becomes infectious, and you observe couples from other tables swaying to the rhythmic tunes. A chuckle escapes you, realizing you’ve never been one to dance at such formal events. Nevertheless, the music’s allure beckons, and you find yourself succumbing to the rhythm, ready to embrace the unexpected joy of the night.

Yoongi seizes your hands, whisking you onto the dance floor in a whirl of laughter and joy. The dance is a delightful blend of fun and friendship, his every move resonating with an infectious rhythm. As you twirl under the dazzling lights, you catch Hoseok’s gaze fixed on Yoongi. Leaning in, you share a whispered observation, “Hoseok’s eyes are practically glued to you, you know?”

His laughter reverberates through the air, a melody that resonates with a warmth you find comforting. “I know,” he chuckles, the sound a harmonious note in the symphony of the evening.

As he smirks, a playful glint in his eyes, you can’t help but reciprocate with a grateful smile. He twirls you around, a dance of understanding, letting you sway out of his embrace only to draw you back in. Oh, the dance you share with him is a temporary refuge, a wishful escape from the reality you yearn to change. However, your joy falters as you catch Jimin’s gaze; his eyes, far from angelic, hold a mysterious intensity that pierces through the rhythm of the music.

With a chuckle, Yoongi leans in, “Jimin’s got his eyes on you too.”

“I’ve felt his eyes on me since we walked through that door,” you admit with a sigh, your gaze wandering over the dance floor where your sister twirls with Jungkook, and Ha-rin gracefully dances with Seokjin.

“You should consider talking to him,” he suggests again, but you dismiss the idea with a subtle shake of your head.

“I doubt it would make any difference, honestly,” you laugh, pressing your body into Yoongi’s. His warmth envelops you, and for a brief moment, in his embrace, everything feels like it might just be okay.

Taking a step back from Yoongi, you express the need for a break. As you make your way back to the table to sip on more champagne, you observe Yoongi inviting Hoseok to dance, a proposal met with a willing agreement. Soo-ah joins you at the table, casting a gentle gaze in your direction.

“You danced with Hoseok?” You inquire, your gaze softened with curiosity.

“I did,” she admits with a smile. “He’s a really nice guy.” You nod, acknowledging her words. However, you can’t shake the understanding that someone in your circle might end up with a bruised heart, considering both Yoongi and Soo-ah have affections for Hoseok.

As you watch Hoseok and Yoongi gracefully moving on the dance floor, impressed by Hoseok’s skilled control over his body, a genuine smile plays on your lips. However, that fleeting moment of joy is interrupted as you sense the weight of brown eyes piercing into your back. Turning around, you find Jimin dancing intimately with Deiji, the intensity of his gaze making your smile fade.

You observe Jimin and Deiji dancing cheek to cheek, their bodies pressed tightly together, making you scoff and redirect your attention to Soo-ah. Just as you try to shake off the unsettling sight, a tap on your shoulder interrupts your thoughts. You turn around to find Hoseok, his bright smile inviting, “Do you want to dance?”

You seize his hand, allowing him to whisk you onto the dance floor, reminiscent of how Yoongi did earlier. Hoseok effortlessly twirls you around, evoking laughter that bubbles up from deep within. Knowing you’re not the most adept dancer, you surrender to his guidance, and he proves to be exceptionally skilled at leading you through the dance.

Amid the enjoyment, a surge of audacity overcomes you, prompting an uncharacteristic move. “What do you think about Yoongi?” The words spill out unexpectedly, catching Hoseok off guard, a reaction vividly displayed on his face. A chuckle escapes you as you revel in the spontaneity of the moment.

“What do you mean?” he asks, catching off guard. 

Unable to contain your mischievous grin, you lean in and tease, “You know he likes you, right?” As the words escape your lips, you’re conscious of the trust you might be breaking but convinced that mingling is the key to any potential connection. Hoseok, though initially shocked, isn’t repulsed as you feared. Instead, his eyes widen, and a subtle pink tint adorns his cheeks, leaving you wondering how he’ll respond.

“He does?” Hoseok stammers, caught off guard and missing a beat. Your chuckle only intensifies as you nod in confirmation. The revelation lingers in the air, and you sense that you might not have to do much more to set things in motion.

As you continue to dance, a comfortable silence envelops you both before Hoseok breaks it, his words hanging in the air, “You know Jimin likes you too.”

You roll your eyes, well aware of the situation. “Yeah, not much to do about it when he has a girlfriend,” you admit with a wry smile. Despite Hoseok’s good intentions, you’ve firmly decided not to act on your feelings while Jimin is still in a relationship. It’s a line you won’t cross.

You dance a little longer until Yoongi is at your side again, grabbing your arm and pulling you into his embrace. He wears a curious smile as he asks, “What were you talking about with Hoseok?”

You chuckle softly, “I told him.”

He glances at you, a puzzled expression on his face, “Told him what?”

“That you’ve got a crush on him,” you declare, matter-of-factly, in a hushed tone meant just for the two of you. However, with the rain tapping on the roof and the music playing, it’s a challenge to catch every word.

Yoongi’s expression doesn’t exactly radiate joy, but there’s a subtle softness to his features, an almost-relaxed demeanor. He releases a frustrated sigh, raking a hand through his hair in apparent exasperation.

“I’m sorry. I know it isn’t my place to say anything. But he actually seemed intrigued!” You share, your words riding the rhythm of the music as you sway with Yoongi. His tension eases, and he responds with a soft expression, a subtle acknowledgment of the revelation.

“It’s okay,” he breathes out, “it wasn’t your place, but it’s fine.” 

You lean into him, embracing him gently and offering a reassuring pat on the back. In that moment, you catch Jimin’s gaze fixed on you once again. The repetitive stares leave you puzzled. Why is he focused on you instead of his girlfriend?

You feel your heart quicken, your nostrils flare, and your hands clench around Yoongi’s back. He pulls you away, confusion etched on his face, questioning what’s wrong. But you see red. It’s reached a boiling point. The anger simmers inside you, consuming every inch of your being, and with determination, you let go of Yoongi and stride purposefully over to Jimin and Deiji.

Standing before them, you take a deep inhale, a turbulent storm of emotions brewing beneath your skin. “Why the hell are you staring at me like that?” Your voice slices through the ambient sounds, a piercing question that fractures the comfortable cocoon around Jimin and Deiji. Jimin slowly turns to face you, his expression shifting from surprise to a somber acknowledgment, as if he’s been caught in the act of something he’d rather keep hidden.

“Shouldn’t your eyes be on your girlfriend, huh? Why the fuck do you keep gazing at me? Look at your damn girlfriend!” you hiss, your hands tightly clenched at your sides, radiating with anger.

“And while you’re at it, why the fuck can’t you talk to me like a normal human being?” you raise your voice, the anger boiling so fiercely within you that you feel breathless as you unleash your words.

“You’re a damn coward, aren’t you? You shouldn’t be casting your eyes my way when you have a girlfriend right there!” You jab your finger accusingly at her, and she flinches, uncertain about how to react. Jimin simply gazes at you, as though you’ve lost your marbles—and maybe you have, because the words keep pouring out.

“You fucking jerk. If you had the decency to communicate, to use your damn voice instead of making baseless assumptions, we wouldn’t be in this ridiculous situation!” You huff, the waves of anger radiating from your body. The sudden realization hits you that the entire room is now fixated on the spectacle, and an eerie silence envelops the space, punctuated only by the intensity of your heated words.

Yoongi steps up beside you, a silent force attempting to ground you, but you refuse to yield. The torrent of anger surges within you, and with an accusatory finger, you unleash your fury on Jimin.

“I fucking hate you! You’re stupid. I hate you. I fucking hate you. I love you. I fucking hate you. I hate you so fucking much!” Your words, laden with venom, spill from your lips in a torrent of conflicting emotions. You seethe, feeling strangely lighter, though the room spins around you. Yoongi releases your arm, his face a mix of shock, and confusion mirrors the peculiar glances from those around you, leaving you wondering why everyone is now looking at you even more strangely than before.

“You fucking bastard. Stop looking at me like that,” you hiss at Jimin, catching him off guard. Deiji wears a displeased expression, and Jimin’s features soften in a way that leaves you utterly bewildered. 

Deiji appears visibly irritated, and you’re left wondering if her frustration is directed at you or if she shares your exasperation for Jimin. As the tension simmers, Jimin unexpectedly breaks into laughter, his audacity fueling the fire of your anger. The laughter grates on your nerves, aggravating you further. Why on earth is he finding amusement in this situation? There’s nothing remotely funny about it, intensifying the blaze of your already fiery emotions.

You jab your accusatory finger at him once more, your voice cutting through the tension, “Stop laughing. This isn’t funny!”

Your voice may carry the tone of an angered child denied its desires, but you couldn’t care less. In this moment, you’re finally confronting Jimin, even if the conversation seems to be one-sided.

You observe as he parts his lips, ready to utter words that you don’t wish to hear.

“I don’t want to hear it! You know what? I’m done!” You hiss in frustration, ready to pivot away from the awkward situation, aware of the collective gaze of all the guests upon you. As you start to turn, Jimin’s firm grip on your wrist stops you, compelling you to face him again.

“You can stick your dick where the sun doesn’t shine!” You shriek, wrenching your arm free, and storming out of the building. The erratic thumping of your heart resonates like a dissonant ringing in your ears, mirroring the chaos within.

Gasping frantically for air, your breath catching in turbulent spasms, you step outside, feeling as if your body is unraveling at the seams. Collapsing on the stairs, you surrender to the tremors of anger pulsating through you. Attempting to regain composure, you strive to slow your breath, but the task proves as challenging as holding back a tempest.

Regret floods your senses, a torrent of remorse for every word unleashed in the heat of anger, half of them lost to the haze of fury. The weight of all eyes fixed upon you, their gaze searing into your soul, amplifies the desire for the ground to open up and engulf you whole. 

What transpired in that room, and how did it all spiral into such chaos?

A symphony of hooves shatters the tranquility of your peaceful slumber, jerking you awake. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you hurry to the window to witness the commotion outside. In the distance, a captivating spectacle unfolds — a wild herd of horses, led by the majestic brown stallion, thundering across the landscape. These creatures have become frequent visitors, drawing nearer to the ranch with each passing day. Curiosity grips you; what secrets do these untamed spirits carry, and why do they venture closer to your haven?

With a contented sigh, you wearily make your way back to your bed, sinking into its welcoming embrace. A spontaneous yawn escapes, accompanied by a luxurious stretch that sends waves of relaxation through your well-rested body. The simple joy of a peaceful night’s sleep settles over you, like a comforting blanket enveloping your weary soul.

Entering the bathroom, you brace yourself for the day ahead. Under the rejuvenating spray of a quick shower, you allow the cascading water to serve as a cleansing force, washing away not only yesterday’s mistakes but also the lingering regret that clings to your every thought. The steam clouds your reflection, a metaphorical veil between the past and the potential for a better today.

The bracing cold water jolts you into wakefulness, a refreshing prelude to the day ahead. As rivulets of water cascade down, you ensure every trace of sleep is banished, emerging invigorated and ready for the rigors of another day on the ranch. Donning a weathered shirt, worn-in pants, and your trusty boots, you complete the ensemble with the signature hat that shields your face from the sun’s relentless gaze. Descending the stairs, you find Ara in the kitchen, skillfully crafting a sandwich for her morning appetite.

“Hey there!” you chirp, a grin lighting up your face, buoyed by the rare joy of a restful night’s sleep. A subtle acknowledgment forms in your mind—thankful for your sister and Jungkook opting for a night at his place, granting you the serenity that fueled the upbeat mood.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Ara inquires, her attention focused on putting away the butter, as if carefully choosing the moment to meet your eyes.

“Actually, leave it out. I could use one too,” you interject, and Ara obligingly retrieves the butter, finally meeting your gaze. “As for how I’m doing—just fine.”

She hands you the butter and a knife, a wry smile playing on her lips, “Some party, huh?”

She chuckles, and you roll your eyes. The weight of her laughter only intensifies your embarrassment, a vivid reminder of the scene you created at the gala. You find yourself wishing for the ground to open up and spare you from the aftermath of your emotional outburst. Why did you have to make such a spectacle?

Damn you and your relentless emotions. Now the whole world, or at least everyone at the gala, knows the depth of your disdain for Jimin, you assume. You bury your face in your hands, releasing a frustrated grunt. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to create such a spectacle.”

Ara’s laughter rings out, much to your dismay, intensifying the furrow in your brow. You don’t see the humor; you’ve practically made a fool of yourself in front of everyone.

“Well, we all had a blast,” she laughs, a beautiful smile playing on her lips, “I’m sure Jimin is having a good laugh about it too.”

You roll your eyes once more, highly skeptical. After all, you called him so many terrible names, didn’t allow him a word in, and basically told him to stick it in his ass.

Wonderful. Great. Peachy. Words that utterly fail to capture the chaotic storm of emotions swirling within you at this very moment. The vivid memories of your passionate outburst yesterday haunt you, casting a shadow over any semblance of composure. There’s a lingering wish to escape the possibility of encountering Jimin and his girlfriend again, but deep down, you acknowledge that luck doesn’t favor you so generously.

You hastily slather butter onto your bread, devouring it in its pure simplicity. The imminent need to depart gnaws at you; the day awaits, beckoning you to gallop over to the Bell ranch, where the untamed spirits of the wild horses entwine with the shared endeavors of you and Yoongi.

“I have to go,” you declare, snatching the bread in your mouth, and dash outdoors toward the barn. The sun, now radiantly shining, bestows a sense of hope upon your day, propelling you forward with anticipation.

As you saddle up Marshmallow and guide him outdoors, a faint sound begins to patter on the roof—a soft, rhythmic reminder of the rain.

Out in the open, the rain embraces you in seconds, a relentless downpour that draws a scoff. Undeterred, you plant your foot in the stirrup and swing the other leg over, urging Marshmallow into a full gallop. The rain pelts your face, but you ride on, indifferent to the weather’s challenge.

As you ride, thoughts of Jimin’s expression at the gala linger in your mind. Despite his initial composure, his face betrayed offense and anger, as if restraining the urge to shout back. He stood there, his girlfriend by his side, absorbing every word you hurled at him. Regret tugs at you, but the words are irreversible, a turbulent exchange you can’t undo, even if you wished otherwise.

A yearning lingers within you, hoping that Jimin would have retorted, engaged in a verbal sparring, or at least defended himself. However, his silence echoes louder than any words, leaving you to ponder the significance of his unspoken response.

You sense that words were poised on the tip of Jimin’s tongue, ready to spill out, but a conscious decision to shield yourself from his potential revelations compelled you to shut down any communication before it began.

The peculiar weather paints a contradictory scene: raindrops cascade, yet the sun defiantly radiates its warmth, creating a surreal ambiance. In the midst of this meteorological paradox, a double rainbow graces the distant horizon. The sight, both enchanting and whimsical, elicits a genuine smile, urging you to spur Marshmallow into an even faster gallop. Each rhythmic beat of his hooves seems to synchronize with the cadence of your heart, a determined attempt to outride the persistent thoughts of Jimin that linger in your mind.

As the ranch emerges on the horizon, a welcoming sight after the turbulent events, you guide Marshmallow down to the pen where Yoongi and Hoseok eagerly await your arrival. Skillfully securing Marshmallow to the fence, you exchange greetings with the two men, the atmosphere pregnant with anticipation for the day’s tasks on the ranch.

Hoseok’s laughter greets you even before you utter a single word, prompting an eye roll from you in response.

As Yoongi dedicates himself to the fiery-red mare once more, you find your way to the fence, settling in next to Hoseok with a sense of camaraderie.

“Nice gala, huh?” Hoseok teases, raising his eyebrows in a way that suggests he’s well aware of the evening’s drama. You respond with a loud groan, wondering why people find the need to rub your failures in your face.

“Shit. I regret how I behaved. It’s so embarrassing,” you confess, closing your eyes as if wishing to erase yesterday from existence.

“I understand. But it was fun to watch,” he laughs heartily, his entire being pulsating with mirth.

You shift your gaze downward to Yoongi in the pen, “Have you noticed the herd of wild horses getting closer?”

Yoongi nods knowingly, “Yeah.”

You observe the mare’s lively movements before turning your attention back to Yoongi, “What do you think it means?”

Yoongi looks up from the mare, his expression serious, “Nothing good.”

Author’s note(2): Thank you so much for reading! 🌸 I would very much appreciate it if you reblogged the chapter, if you liked it ✨ A small review or a comment would also mean a lot to me, and even a like. But please, don’t be afraid to let me know what you think; your kind words makes me extremely happy 💜

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[bekkathyst]

Munich Mineral Show Sale - October 25th 2024 Rules & Procedures

Hello friends! Everyone planning to participate in the sale today, please read. This is how everything will work. I’m posting some items I picked at the Munich gem show. I will invoice tonight and after the second day of posting. All orders placed during this multi-day sale will be combined if you buy things on different days and orders will ship next week. And please note that I will be considering all these orders open box orders unless you specify you want me to add shipping! :)

I will start posting items for sale directly here on Tumblr. To claim an item and place your order, do the following:

Reply to the post (those who are unable to reply for whatever reason can reblog) saying “sold” or “mine" with the quantity you’d like to claim. It’s important you do this so we can see who claimed something first in case something sells out.

Keep a list of everything you claim (with the item number for each item). Once you’re done claiming, please message me over the instant messenger.

Include the following information in your message:

Your email address for the invoice, the country you live in (for shipping purposes - we are shipping from Austria), and the list of what you claimed (with the item numbers). Also please let me know if you want your order to be *open box* or *ready to ship*. “Open box” simply means you want us to hang onto your items after you pay so that you can continue to add things from future sales so everything can be shipped together for convenience 😊

Shipping to Europe is $12

Shipping elsewhere is $15

For extra-large packages, shipping is $20

Be sure to send your info at the end of the sale or whenever you’re sure you’re done claiming.

Invoicing will be done through my online shop “Bekkathyst” - the invoice gets sent to your email and you get the option to pay with a PayPal account or with a credit or debit card. You don’t need to have a PayPal account to pay.

Please pay as soon as possible so we can continue to shop for new inventory at the show :)

Unfortunately due to problems we have encountered before - if you claim items and then at the end of the sale and either don’t respond to your invoice or never message, you will be blocked.

If you decide you’re backing out of a claim before the sale is over, message me so that I can delete your comment. Please try to avoid doing this. Thank you!

We now offer an “open box” option in which you can continue to keep your order open (aka have us not ship it yet) for future sales so everything can be shipped together once you’re ready. When you send your info please don’t forget to let me know if you’d like your order to be *open box* or *ready to ship*. Thank you!! 🙏

For all items that are marked random selection, you may make a request for a specific piece and we will do our best to honor your request, but it is not always possible. Please keep that in mind :)

Any questions? Feel free to ask! I hope you’ll join us and have lots of fun!

[halsinsnaturepocket]

WIP Wednesday - Help me decide where to go with my Fic

Help me make a decision on the direction of my fic Yearning for a Taste I'm going to post what I have so far under the cut. Consider it a teaser, or a chapter 1 with a cliffhanger. (This is a bit that might make it into my longifc, but I'm playing around with it as a oneshot with a generic femme Tav because I think its hot and can go in a few different directions and I'd like to explore those directions.) Think of it as a choose-your-own-adventure fic and the final piece will be posted on Ao3 reblogging for sample size / commenting&tagging with suggestions is always encouraged :3 MINORS DNI

Summary:

After one night in the shadow-cursed lands, Halsin is in his tent minding his own business reading a book when he hears Tav allowing Astarion to feed on her but it becomes….more.

Halsin hears the whole thing and is trying to be Normal about it, but the poor elf has been pent up for so long and is trying to focus on lifting the curse...but alas, he has needs.  CW: Voyerism, dirty talk, Astarion feeding on Tav

Halsin was lying in his tent, using a bedroll to prop himself up as he read one of the books Tav had managed to find during her travels. A book on mindflayer anatomy - a fascinating read, bringing him further insights into the threat they were facing. His attention was so focused he almost didn’t hear the sounds of two people meeting up near his tent. Unfortunately for him, his hearing was rather keen, and the secluded clearing he had settled in blocked out most of the noises from camp, but not the sounds of anyone in the clearing.

“Gods you're such a little freak,” he heard one voice purr. “You're so good to me, sitting in my lap, letting me feed on you.” The praise was followed by the sound of lips smacking against skin followed by a soft moan – he recognized those voices. 

“Did you want more, darling?” Astarion’s voice was silken, lined with hazy lust. “Or did you just want to be my little snack for the evening?”

“You’re sure you saw Halsin go towards the north of camp?” She heard her whisper.  That was most definitely Tav, her soft voice was very distinctive. There was nobody else that voice could belong to.

“Almost positive, my dear. There’s no light on in his tent either, he’s probably off meditating or whatever it is he gets up to.”

They were quiet for a moment. It was true, he had wandered to the north of camp earlier in the evening, but while everyone was enjoying a meal by the fire, he had returned to his tent, rather exhausted from trying desperately to commune with whatever living things he could find in the shadow-blighted village that surrounded them. There wasn’t much, and his efforts had expended quite a bit of his magic. 

“NNnnf…Don't stop…” Her voice was barely a whisper, a near-silent plea. 

Halsin squirmed uncomfortably in his tent. Of all the people to have a liaison behind his tent…it had to be these two. From the sounds of it, Astarion was drinking from her neck, his hands likely snaking beneath her clothes, pleasuring her…

Halsin was desperately trying not to listen in. He had been pent up for so long, and the two of them had tried a few times to bed him; it had taken everything in him not to give in. He was glad they sought company with each other, but did it need to be right outside of his tent? There was a pause in their sounds, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully they were through. Hopefully he would just bite her and be done with it. 

His hopes were futile as he heard a soft gasp escape from Tav. “Astarion–gods that feels so good.” 

“Breathe a bit deeper for me darling - that's it.” He heard Astarion coax. “Good girl, that's my good little treat. You're so nice and wet for me…” 

Halsin turned on his side, his back towards their sounds as he tried desperately to focus on the words swimming around the page of his book, trying to ignore the sound of the two of them, but it proved…difficult. Her stifled moans were stirring emotions he had been trying to suppress for far too long. Both Tav and Astarion had long since held his attention - maybe it was just the kindred feeling of being around two other elves, or maybe it was more…He didn't want to think about it. He had to stay focused on his goals, the shadowcurse lurked right outside the edge of their camp. He couldn't entertain such frivolous thoughts of companionship —

A loud moan interrupted his thoughts. 

“Bite me again, Astarion.” 

“With pleasure.” He heard him murmur, followed by the sound of Tav hissing from the sting of being bit, followed by another soft moan. 

“Gods you taste so sweet when you're on the edge…cum for me darling. Cum while I drain you dry.”

Halsin froze, recalling the sensation of Astarion’s fangs when he sunk into his flesh. He had allowed the spawn to feed on him once or twice when Tav was too exhausted. It was an intimate experience, to say the least. Silvanus forgive him, but it must feel amazing at the precipice of pleasure, to be on the edge of pure ecstasy and feel yourself shaking with the cold chill of life being drained—fuck. He turned his attention back to his book. "Many curious scholars have noted the illithid's disdain for arcane magic, yet do not understand the reasons behind it. In traditional illithid circles--" Yes, quite interesting, to find that illithids were weak to magic. He had noted the tadpole he studied had reacted to arcane magic when used on it. He had read this same sentence at least 4 times now.

“Oh gods, fuck, Astarion!” He heard Tav cry. They weren't even trying to be quiet anymore. 

He couldn’t avoid it any longer. The familiar sensation of arousal gripped at his senses as he felt his heartbeat quicken and his trousers grow tighter. If they kept this up for much longer he’d have to find a way to relieve the tension himself.

“Shhh… my love you'll wake up the whole camp at this rate,” he said, a twinge of teasing laced with lust spilled from his voice. 

Halsin had always wondered what sounds Tav would make…he'd heard her laugh, cry…her sneeze even. He savored the sound of her moving, of humming to herself. Her battlecry, her happiness…they were all so beautiful. But the sounds of her ecstasy…he didn't realize they could sound so sweet. 

“Don't make me gag you darling.” He heard her moans become muffled, as though a hand had come to cover her mouth…likely exactly what was happening. 

Halsin gritted his teeth, picturing the image of Tav tied up his vines, a thin cloth gagging her. And then the thought of her entwined in the pale elf, one hand over her mouth while the other was plunging himself into her sopping wet cunt while a trickle of blood from his fangs runs down her neck… He couldn't help himself. A groan escaped from him. He stifled himself, a worried hand covering his mouth, trying not to let the longing into the sound that dared escape his throat.

The sounds stopped. Utter silence. The silent eeriness from the shadowlands was not helping. 

“Shit–Astarion you said he wandered off to the north of camp, is Halsin IN HIS TENT?”  He heard Tav whisper angrily. They had heard him. Hopefully…this would pass, and it would never be brought up again. 

“I–ugh, I don't know, Tav, I thought I saw him leave his tent. What's it matter anyway?…I'm sure he’s enjoying the show. If he was so inclined he could join if he wants. Though, perhaps he’s deep in a trance.”

“Gods…damned it Astarion—” She moaned loudly. 

‘Should I stop?” He asked. 

[franki-lew-yo]

This is the personal artist blog of Franki Lew; author+artist behind "Mouse the Witching Cat" (@odditiesnoctobermidnightroad) and "Halloween Town" @thetownwecallhome. I do other fanart/animal/mythology art series too. In current year (2024) I'm in a SSA/SSI bind over money and being able to afford rent, my vet and dentist bills and work. ----As such, it means the world to me if you not only follow my blogs but-

support me on my artist's Patreon, Ko-Fi or buy from either my Etsy or Redbubble stores. Or, commission me to draw for you (commission price sheet).

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As for if you're coming for/to me to ask that I help you with your own fundraising campaigns, please FOLLOW THESE STEPS:

-send me message through messenger (see below). DO NOT send me an ask or leave an unrelated comment on my posts asking for my help. If you send me notes in my askbox telling me to "please publish this ask which has my campaign link in it", I'm not only not publishing it I'm deleting the ask. This is because, due to the nature of tumblr culture between friends or strangers, I genuinely do not think your campaign will not get the attention it needs; if I just publish your question to my audience as my audience isn't going to read a reply I made back to a stranger vs a reblog I made. PLEASE use the messenger system.

-in messenger, link me to YOUR POST on YOUR BLOG that's linking to YOUR CAMPAIGN. I am barely able to manage my own time and lifeskills; I can not make a post for you. I am here as a fellow tumblerite to reblog YOUR POST and update myself and other's on your situation as best I can, especially in dire and/or serious circumstances.

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-I CAN NOT pin your own post to my blog less this disclaimer go even more unnoticed.

[ask-ganondorf]

Ask Ganondorf!: The "About Page"

[[Welcome to "Ask Ganondorf", a Legend of Zelda-themed askblog formerly exclusive to Cohost! This is the post where I do a little promoting and explain a few things. This is the mod speaking; I hope you enjoy your visit here, and don't forget to leave a message before you go~!]]

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[[This is an old-fashioned character askblog, the kind that was popular on here about a decade ago. Want to ask Ganondorf something? Go right ahead! You don't even need to be a LoZ fan. An askblog lives and dies by audience interaction, so when in doubt... just send whatever ask you want! Don't be scared of the idea that someone else may have already asked what's on your mind, anonymous asks are enabled in case you're feeling shy or private. I don't mind "spam like"s, comments, or reblogs, either. You can ask the mod (me) things as well if you really want! Lore, clarifications, headcanons, boundaries... though some things may be left vague until the point where you can get the information out of Ganondorf himself, heheh...]]

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[maximoffcarter]

Enough for you.

Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot.

Summary: Casey Novak was not for relationships, she was not a person who went to bars and left with the first person that complimented her or bought her a drink; she was not that kind of person. But then she found herself in the same bar as Alex Cabot; how could she say no?

A/n: So...*cough* another angst cause why not. If this goes well...there might be a part 2. This was my own creation from my own mind, so my own request🤷🏻‍♀️ If you got any more requests, please send them my way guys, either on my asks box or message me privately! Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

Part 2.

*not my gif*

‘You’re still young, you should be having a bit of fun even if you’re busy with work.’ If Casey could get a dollar for each time she heard someone say that she’d be rich at this point, maybe she wouldn’t have to work hectic hours. She knew they were not wrong, she was still young, even if she had gotten a good job at White Collar, she still had a right to live and enjoy her twenties, go for drinks with friends and coworkers every night, but she truly didn’t like that life. If anything, Mary Clark had shown her better, and she was not about to disappoint her; she was willing to focus on her job, to focus on what she came to do, and that was exactly what she was here for, not to go out with her coworkers and then get home all wasted and barely being able to get through the door. Yes, she went out time to time, she was in a softball team, she went to practice whenever her afternoon was free, she had a life out of work. She knew what her coworker meant by fun, but she didn’t want that fun, she didn’t think she’d ever want it.

The last time Casey had dated someone was back when she was engaged, not too long ago, and after that, she decided that she was better off alone. That had been a big mistake, she had rushed things before even meeting the person better and she ended up not only emotionally abused but physically too. Of course she knew that not everyone was the same, she knew that maybe she could be lucky enough to find someone who would treat her right, that could show her what true love was, but she still had many scars left, she still had some pieces to put together, and she was not about to risk it again for someone that she didn’t know, and for someone that could be just like her ex. So that’s why she also preferred to go drink alone every now and then; yes, she liked her coworkers, some of them were fun to be around, but she sometimes believed that she was probably more mature than all of them together so that’s why she enjoyed her time alone.

The one time she decided to finally ignore work for a while and go out with two workers, both of them had ditched her for two guys. There was a third guy, but Casey had rejected him even before he tried to make his move. So she found herself sitting alone at the bar with her second drink in hand, wondering if it was time to go home or if she could have one or two drinks more. She knew she had work to do, maybe she could even go back to the office to pick up her paperwork and take it home along with some take out. But just as she was debating with her thoughts, she felt someone sitting beside her, and at first Casey was going to ignore it, but the strong scent of expensive perfume invaded her nose, making her turn to find a blond woman sitting right beside her. She couldn’t help but stare for a moment, finding the woman beautiful. But when she noticed she had been staring for long, she returned her stare to her almost empty glass.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Casey felt chills running down her spine at the woman’s voice, she was not expecting it…she was not exactly expecting to have any interaction with this woman or anyone at all. “Uh…I think I’m done with drinks.”

The blonde chuckled. “Seems like you do know how to count them.”

Casey nibbled on her lip as she turned to look at the blonde again, a small grin on her face. “You don’t?”

“Not when I had a hard day.” The blonde turned to look at her, offering a small grin.

“Well, then I get why you wouldn’t count them.” Casey chuckled.

The blonde nodded. “You got those days too?”

Casey nodded. “When you’re a lawyer…you gotta have them.”

The blonde raised a brow. “Seems like we got the same job then.” She grinned.

Casey squinted her eyes as she grinned. “Wait…I’ve seen you somewhere.”

The blonde chuckled as she extended her hand. “Alex Cabot.”

“Right…Sex Crimes.” Casey smiled, extending her hand to take Alex’s. “Casey Novak.”

“Nice to meet you.” Alex grinned, letting go of Casey’s hand. “White Collar?”

“Actually, yes.” Casey nodded.

“Thought I had seen you somewhere.” Alex took her drink and took a sip of it, never taking her eyes away from Casey.

Casey couldn’t help but stare into those beautiful blue eyes, almost as if they were enchanting her in some way. “So, what brings Alex Cabot into this bar?”

Alex shrugged. “Tough case. Needed a drink.”

“I don’t think I could ever do Sex Crimes. So I respect you for that.”

Alex smiled. “Well…you learn to deal with it…” she huffed a chuckle as she raised her drink. “And this right here helps.”

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “I’m sure.” She smiled softly.

No, Casey was not planning on staying more at the bar. No, she did not plan on having more drinks. No, she was not expecting to engage in a conversation with someone, let alone such a beautiful girl as Alex. She has heard a lot of things about Alexandra Cabot, some rumors, some facts, she never listened to the gossip, but when she saw Alex in a press conference and the next time she found herself in the same courtroom, her curiosity for Alex started, and now she had spent easily two hours talking about everything with her, and she was fascinated. They decided to avoid talking about cases, so they talked about other things, and laughs soon joined in the conversation, giving them both a feeling of comfort. And no…Casey did not expect for Alex to ask if she wanted to get out of the bar; actually…she figured at some point that it could happen, but what she did not expect was for her answer to be yes.

Casey moaned the moment her back hit the wall, her eyes staring into blue one as her hands worked their way to Alex’s coat, pulling it off and throwing it somewhere on the floor. Alex’s hands soon found Casey’s neck and pulled her for another heated kiss, her body pressing against Casey’s. “Alex…” she breathed out once she felt Alex’s lips traveling down her neck and finding her pulse point.

“Yes baby?” Alex whispered as she looked up to look into green eyes, panting as they stared at each other. “We can stop if you want to.”

Casey breathed heavily as she wetted her lips, her eyes landing on Alex’s swollen lips and back to blue eyes. She shook her head, a small grin on her face. “I want you to fuck me.”

Alex smirked. “As you wish.”

********************

“So, Novak.” Jessica grinned as she stood at the doorframe of Casey’s office.

Casey looked up from her paperwork and furrowed her brows. “Yes?”

“I got a question for you.” Jessica walked inside the office, the grin never leaving her face.

“No, I am not going to drink with you guys again. You left me. Plus, I’m going to the cages today.” Casey returned her attention to the paperwork.

“That wasn’t my question, but good to know that we won’t be counting on you again.” Jessica chuckled. “Why do you suddenly look so happy?”

Casey frowned, looking up at Jessica again. “I look happy?” Jessica nodded. “I…don’t think I look any different than I have before.”

“You’re getting laid, aren’t you?” Jessica smirked.

“I-“ Casey scoffed. “Jessica! What the hell? No! I’m not. I’ve been having good cases, free time, I get to do more out of work.”

“Oh, you get to do someone…”

Casey rolled her eyes. “Please get out.”

Jessica laughed as she walked to the door. “I know you, Novak!”

Casey cleared her throat as she tried to focus back on her paperwork. Yes, it was true. It had been three months since Casey started seeing Alex after work. After that night, both of them had exchanged numbers after Casey decided to leave in the middle of the night. No, it wasn’t her first time being with a girl, she had always suspected that she liked girls but never actually got with one because her parents expected her to be with a guy. So it was no surprise that she was fascinated by Alexandra Cabot. She knew she was going against her own words, saying that she was not that kind of person, that she’d mainly focus on her job, but after some drinks and engaging in conversation with Alex, she couldn’t help it; and she didn’t regret any of it. But that was it…just a hook up. Nothing more. She was not ready to get into anything serious, it could never be anything serious. She was sure she was not the first attorney to fall into Alex’s bed, as bad as that sounded, but she heard the rumors. So no, this was nothing more than a hook up and that was it.

As for Alex, she knew the rumors that went around in her own office, she knew the nickname that was now known even at the precinct, she knew her reputation, but she really couldn’t care less about it. It was nothing, they were simply rumors and gossip, she was mature enough to let it get to her, and some of them, were nothing but lied, but again, if they wanted to tell them around, they could, she knew the truth and she knew who she was, and that was it. Yes, she had her hook ups before, she had stopped once she had joined Sex Crimes since she had focused her whole attention in the job, and she barely had any time to focus on her private life. But that night, the night she met Casey, something called her in, and she couldn’t help but go against her own words but noticing how beautiful she was, that beautiful smile she had, that voice and laugh…she got lost. And she knew she wanted more. It was impossible to not want more.

“Come here often?” Alex whispered as she stood behind Casey, smirking at the way she had shivered.

Casey turned to look at Alex and smiled. “Starting to. I come to meet someone.”

“Oh, so you mind if I sit with you while you wait?” Alex grinned.

“Not at all.” Casey grinned as she placed Alex’s drink in front of her. “Thought I’d get ahead.”

“Oh, thank you.” Alex smiled as she sat down. “Had a good day?”

Casey nodded. “It was slow. Yours?”

Alex sighed before she took a sip of her drink. “Delightful.”

Casey nodded again, looking down at her drink. “That’s why you called?”

Alex furrowed her brows as she looked at Casey. “I wanted to see you.” She offered a smile. “Just needed someone to talk to.”

Casey smiled softly, looking up at Alex. “We can go to my place.”

Alex grinned as she nodded. “Sounds fair.”

It wasn’t the first time that they met at the bar, had two or three drinks, and then left to Alex’s apartment. Most of their nights went like this. Sometimes Alex would go to Casey’s office in her lunch time and make a plan with Casey to meet at night, or Casey went to Alex’s office to confirm if they’d see each other that night. It had now become a routine, for both of them, they barely talked about work, they only asked about their day, had their drinks, and then went to each other’s apartments. Casey debated with her mind daily, saying this was definitely not something she did, that this was definitely not her, but she couldn’t help it; Alex was beautiful, the way she dressed, the way she talked, the way she laughed…the way she moaned Casey’s name, the way she trembled when Casey’s fingers were inside her, the way she came undone and stared at Casey, looking so beautiful underneath her. It was impossible to not want more of that, she couldn’t get enough, and she knew Alex couldn’t either.

Alex kissed Casey’s naked shoulder as she moved to lay down beside Casey. “You good?”

Casey nodded, clearing her throat as she tried to catch her breath. “Good.”

Alex chuckled softly. “Good.” She laid on her side, staring at Casey.

Casey felt Alex’s eyes on her, making her turn to look at Alex, frowning as a smile appeared on her face. “What?”

“Nothing…you’re just beautiful.” Alex smiled.

Casey’s breath hitched as she stared  at Alex, suddenly speechless as she heard the sincerity in her words. “So are you.”

“Thanks.” Alex sighed then, moving to get up from the bed. “Guess this is my cue to leave.”

Casey nibbled on her bottom lip as she sat in bed. “You know…you could…stay. It’s late.”

Alex turned to look at her and smiled softly. “I-“ suddenly her phone went off, making her groan as she stood up and went to find her phone. “Cabot.” She closed her eyes as she sighed. “On my way.” She hung up and turned to look at Casey. “Work.”

Casey sighed. “I understand.” She stared at her the whole time as she collected her clothes and got dressed quickly.

Alex put on her blazer and turned to look at Casey, smiling. “I’ll call you?”

Casey nodded. “Yes.”

Alex bit her lip before she crawled in bed and kissed Casey’s lips. “Sleep well.” She whispered against her lips before she pecked her lips one last time and then grabbed her phone and left the room.

Casey sighed as she heard the door closing, throwing herself back in bed and groaning softly. This was only a hook up. She couldn’t have feelings for Alex, and she didn’t. They just knew each other’s bodies now, they were used to each other, they had a good fuck, and that was it. It was a hook up and nothing more. And it was going to stay that way.

********************

“Heard the news.” Alex grinned as she leaned over Casey’s doorframe.

Casey looked up from her briefcase and smiled, leaning over her desk. “Sorry if I’m gonna take some of your cases.” She grinned.

Alex chuckled as she walked inside, closing the door behind her. “I don’t mind. Not when it’s you.” She grinned.

Casey raised her brow as she bit her lip. “Oh, so if it was someone else, you’d have fought Branch or Liz?” She grinned.

“Maybe.” Alex smirked as she stood in front of Casey, one of her hands going to Casey’s waist and the other stroking her cheek softly. “But now I’ll have you closer.” She whispered softly.

Casey shook her head. “We can’t do this at work, Alex.” She whispered back.

“You sure we can’t?” Alex raised her brow.

Casey grinned as she placed her hands on Alex’s waist, turning her so Alex was leaning over her desk, moving her to sit on it. “We can try it then.”

Alex gasped, her hands gripping Casey’s shoulders. “Thought we couldn’t, Novak.” She chuckled.

“Changed my mind.” Casey smiled as she closed the gap between them, moaning as Alex’s hand wrapped around her and her hand went into Casey’s hair to pull her impossibly closer.

Alex started moving her hands down to Casey’s front, but her phone interrupted them once again. She broke the kiss and leaned her head on Casey’s chest. “Not again.” She whispered.

“Duty calls.” Casey chuckled. She kissed her forehead softly before she stepped away from her. “I need to go to court anyway.”

Alex nodded as she hopped off the desk. “Alright.”

“See you tonight?” Casey smirked. “I’d like to finish what I started.”

Alex grinned. “Sure.” She nodded before she left Casey’s office almost in a hurry, calling Olivia back.

After almost two years of knowing each other, Alex could’ve sworn that there was more between them. Some nights, they stayed in each other’s apartment after many rounds, deciding that it was ‘safer’ for them to not go back to their homes in the early hours. Sometimes they even stayed weekends together, spending the whole day in bed making each other come undone, or just simply talking about everything but nothing at the same time. Alex had been afraid to admit it, she had been in denial for so long, but the reality was…that she was starting to feel something for Casey, and it was so obvious, there was no denial. All those days and nights that they had spent together, all those laughs and smiles they had shared; it wasn’t just a hook up to her, it had become more. But the more they got used to each other, the more she noticed that Casey called her whenever she needed to get off her stress or when she had a bad day. Yes, Alex had done that the first few weeks, but after figuring out that she mostly did it because she wanted to see Casey, it’s when her whole perspective of the situation changed. But she could risk what they had if she said anything, so it was better to keep it to herself and continue as they were. What could possibly go wrong?

And as for Casey, she had been nervous when Branch had called her to his office to let her know that she’d be moving to Sex Crimes with Alex. They had figured out that more than usual, they were loaded with cases and sometimes Alex couldn’t keep up with all of them, so they figured that bringing someone to help wouldn’t be a bad idea. And now she’d be seeing Alex daily, they’d be working together. The idea wasn’t that bad, she already saw Alex daily, but not exactly in the building, now they’d be working together, not only hooking up. She was afraid that the more time they spent together, the more she would let herself get lost, and she couldn’t allow that.

The first few weeks went away so quickly. They had someone fallen into an easy routine and even met up for lunch to help each other out with the cases. Thanks to Alex, Casey was not being accepted by the squad, she knew that they were used to Alex, and Casey somehow worked in her own way and that was something that the squad hadn’t agreed on at the beginning, but with the help of Alex, they were getting used to it. For a moment, she noticed the way that Alex had entirely changed since the first time they had met; she was more…soft. Casey couldn’t deny that she liked it, but she was also not sure that she could buy it. They gave each other what they needed, they gave each other pleasure, they gave each other a space to get off the stress of the day or the week, what they had was nothing but sex. She was sure Alex wanted nothing more than that. And she confirmed it soon enough when she saw her with Olivia.

It was notorious the first day when Olivia was basically pushing away Casey, at first she thought that she had just made a bad impression, but then she saw her with Alex. She acted so differently with her, she got so close to Alex, and Alex to her, and their conversations were so easy, Olivia would do anything that Alex asked her to do, and Alex would give in to whatever Olivia asked from her, but if it was Casey, everything would be different. She noticed the way Alex seemed so relaxed with Olivia, the way she just enjoyed having her in her office, and they could stay there for hours. And that’s when Casey understood, that’s when she confirmed her doubts and answered her own questions; it was only a hook up, nothing more.

Alex smiled as she opened the door to find Casey standing there. “Hey.”

Casey smiled. “Hi.” She walked into the apartment and turned to look at Alex, waiting for her to close the door. She took her coat off and sighed softly. “Day okay?”

“It was.” Alex smiled as she turned to look at Casey. She felt something was off with Casey, so she only stood there and crossed her arms. “Was your day okay?”

“Sure.” Casey smiled. “Should we go ahead?”

Alex furrowed her brows, tilting her head. “Are you in a hurry?”

Casey huffed a chuckle. “C’mon, Alex. We both know why I’m here. So, might as well just save time and get on with it.”

Alex felt like she had been punched right on her chest as she looked at Casey. “Casey…I didn’t call you for that. I just…thought maybe we could just spend the night here instead of going to a bar.”

“We know how that ends anyway, at the bar or here.” Casey shrugged. “Or…did you call me to tell me you don’t wanna do this anymore?”

“I’m…confused as to what is happening right now.” Alex huffed a chuckle as she shook her head. “Did I do or say something?”

Casey nibbled on her lip as she looked away from Alex. “Alex…” she sighed. “Why are we pretending like this is something when we both know this is just a casual thing?” She looked back at Alex. “We’ve been doing this for so long now, we fell into a routine but…the result is the same. We end up in bed and then we start over again.”

“So…it’s just a casual thing.” Alex nodded.

“Isn’t it?” Casey raised her brows. “Tell me I’m wrong. I’m-“ she shook her head as she looked down at her coat. “I don’t really do dating. And since we started this, I made it clear. So yes…it is just sex.” She looked back at Alex with a serious look.

Alex nodded again as she looked away. “I’m glad to know now.”

Casey nodded. “Maybe we should give each other some time.”

“I think you’re right.” Alex bit her lip as she tried to avoid Casey’s stare. “Maybe you should go.”

“Okay.” Casey said softly as she put back her coat, walking to the door. She stopped for a moment to look at Alex who was still looking away. “I’ll…see you at the office.” She said almost in a whisper as she opened the door and left the apartment.

Once she heard the door closing, Alex couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She was afraid that this day would come, and she begged anyone that it would never come, but here she was now. She knew since the first moment that it was wrong to let herself feel anything at all for Casey, she knew that it would hurt at the end, but she still let herself get lost in Casey because she had a bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, she could be wrong and that there was a chance. But there wasn’t. Casey now confirmed it; it had been just sex and nothing more, and there was nothing else she could do about it. She lost what they had…she lost Casey.

[kawaiiakamaru]

THE NOTEBOOK

noritoshi kamo x megumi's sister!reader

fem!reader, established relationship, fluff, sibling comfort, does mention motherhood/children?, etc. trigger warning: mention of death

word count: 1.6k ; not proofread

i do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted anywhere else! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated:)

the moon shone through the large bedroom window as noritoshi toyed with his blood-dipped arrows. its luminescence was much less prominent in tokyo than back in kyoto, but just for a few days, he didn't mind—especially if it meant he got to see you again. with missions and the 360+ kilometers between the two of you, it was safe to say you didn't see each other nearly as often as you both deemed necessary.

having been sat criss-crossed on the ground and hunched over for about an hour, his back began to cramp. groaning, he rose and rubbed his eyes before picking up his phone from his bed. scrolling through the kyoto groupchat, he rolled his eyes at the series of messages.

miwa: i'm nervous for tomorrow. i just don't want to be the reason we lose the event. i mean, they are the students of gojo satoru. 🤷‍♀️

kokichi: please do not let this worry keep you up tonight. mechamaru will protect you, miwa.

mai: 🤨

kokichi: by that i mean we are a team, so mechamaru will protect everyone. 👍🏻

mai: ANYWAYS, that white-haired oaf? no, girl. we'll be fine. 🤚🏼⚔️

todo: do not worry. the bigger they are, the bigger they are! 🥔

momo: todo, what does that even mean?

his eyebrows furrowed as he saw another notification pop up.

y/n: hii, love. do you want to spend the night? 🥰

much to his dismay, the brunette's heart began racing as he typed his reply: i will begin to gather my belongings, please be patient.

two hallways down, you smiled and chuckled softly. always so formal, you thought.

lighting a candle and fluffing your pillows before lying down on the bed, you attempted to patiently await your lover’s arrival. a few moments later, you heard a soft knock.

shooting up from the bed, you darted across your room before swinging the door open excitedly.

your wide smile immediately turned sheepish as you stepped to the side and allowed the individual into your bedroom.

sliding out of his slippers and making his way to the edge of your bed, he was the first to break the silence, "are you doing okay?"

the room went silent once again as your mind raced. sucking in a breath, you decided on an honest answer, "i'm not sure."

megumi nodded his head and began looking everywhere but you. honestly, part of him was hoping you'd just say yes, and you both could go on with your nights knowing neither of you were truly okay. however, the other part of him was relieved that you was feeling the same way.

"you know I'm not the best with words," he began, "but i think that whatever you're feeling—whatever we're feeling—is justified. gojo-sensei didn't really give us an opportunity to react." a mild grimace played on his lips as he thought back to the events earlier that afternoon.

you nodded slowly. "it's not every day that you see your newly-acquainted teammate rip his heart out in front of you and return in a box weeks later." you fidgeted with the chain around your neck.

"sorry, i'm rambling. i just." you paused, "can i say something awful?"

your brother hummed softly, waiting for you to continue.

"i'm grateful he's back, but part of me wishes he wasn't-- i'm just so worried. what happens when word gets out that he's still alive? or alive again? god only knows if sukuna is part of the reason why he's here, which could mean that yuji has even less control over his body."

megumi remained silent, taking in your words carefully.

"we watched him die, ‘gumi! i just can't handle losing him again, and i know you can't either." your voice became muffled as megumi rose and wrapped his arms around his sister.

you remained there for a few seconds before a knock interrupted your embrace and megumi gave you a questioning look.

walking over and grabbing the door knob, you pleaded, "just be civil, that's all i'm asking for." you took megumi's silence as promised adherence to your request.

swinging the door open for a second time that night, you sucked in a breath. you didn't know if it was his casual attire, his freed hair, or simply your eagerness to see your lover, but one thing was for certain: noritoshi kamo was breathtakingly beautiful.

stepping into the room, he opened his mouth to say something before locking eyes with the eldest of the two.

"fushiguro." he stated cooly. megumi could hardly take him seriously with the glittery hello kitty keychain clipped onto his duffel bag--presumably a gift you had given him in private.

placing a kiss on your forehead and grabbing the door behind him, the ravenette responded, "good night, y/n. kamo." holding eye contact for just a few more uncomfortable seconds, you rolled your eyes and forced the door shut.

"sorry about that." you began, "i wasn't expecting him to come over."

noritoshi, visibly more relaxed now that it was just the two of you, hummed. "please do not apologize, y/n. you know that you could never do any wrong in my eyes."

a tinge of pink painted your cheeks before you cupped the archer's soft face in your hands. thumbs stroking his pale cheeks, he nodded, giving you permission to lean in.

your lips connected and noritoshi, purely by instinct, grabbed your waist gently and pulled you in close, whispering softly, "you are everything to me."

looping your arms around his neck, you kissed him with more passion and lust than before. lips moving in sync, you carefully walked the two of you backwards until you felt the back of your knees hit the mattress.

noritoshi, without breaking contact, cupped the back of your head and pushed you back gently, gingerly placing your head on a pillow.

he hovered over you, legs straddled around your figure as you kissed each other hungrily; tongues dancing together with so much passion, desire, and love, it could have been mistaken as your last. deep down the both of you knew that a jujutsu sorcerer’s life was shorter than most, which further prompted you to cherish each other’s presence.

in desperate need of air, noritoshi broke the kiss and used the mattress to push himself off of you—admiring your swollen lips and staticky hair before laying his head on the pillow next to yours.

as the combination of your panting ceased, you picked up a few loose strands of his hair. wondering aloud you asked, "do you think in a world without curses or clans, we still would have found each other?"

noritoshi was silent as he pondered this idea. eventually, he settled on the words, “no, i do not think so.”

before you could protest and voice your disagreement, he continued. "i don't know what we would be doing if we didn't live in this world together, but i can imagine that a world without curses to exorcise and the pain felt from comrades dying at the hands of them and other sorcerers, without the loneliness and anxieties that come from leading a clan, life would be much closer to perfection. and i think the lack of perfection in this universe is part of what drew us together. raw human suffering is romantic because it connects us, in some grotesque way.”

your vision blurred as you attempted to blink back tears, whispering, “i never took you for a poet, kamo.”

the kamo heir snorted and lifted his thumb to your cheek, wiping away a stray tear.

god, you loved when he was like this: when he spoke his mind freely without fear of damaging his clan’s reputation. when he was vulnerable about his feelings. when he snorted, for christ’s sake.

“you’re right, you know.” you whispered. “the fact that we found each other amidst the chaos of this life is beautiful.”

noritoshi gave you a small smile. “almost as beautiful as you.”

you rolled your eyes and bumped your shoulders teasingly. “do you say that to all of your girlfriends?”

noritoshi sighed, but played along anyway. “only to the ones i can envision as a mother to my heirs.”

your heart fluttered. “i will be anything you want me to be.”

noritoshi thought for a moment. checking an imaginary watch on his wrist, he tsked before shrugging. “for now, being yourself will suffice. ask me again in 10 years.”

you grinned before reaching an arm over to your nightstand to grab a book, checking the time simultaneously.

“it’s nearly 12, ‘toshi. i’m still not that tired yet, so could you read to me?”

noritoshi huffed in fake annoyance. “is my voice really that boring?”

seeing his adorable pout, you assured him that that was simply not the case; instead, because his voice was soothing and gentle.

opening the book to the page saved by the bookmark, noritoshi’s eyes danced over the words to remind himself where you both left off.

“Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense,” he began, stroking your scalp in a way that was sure to coax you to sleep in minutes, “That's what it was like for me. I didn't plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it."

author’s note: ahh! first fic done! i know it’s not the greatest, but i haven’t written anything in the realm of creative writing before—just academic essays! i am open to feedback on how i can improve so i can do right by you all. thank you so much for taking the time to read this through! likes, comments, and reblogs are all very appreciated.

dividers: @cafekitsune

[lokavisi]

*~Housekeeping~*

Hail and welcome! The intro blurb at the top of the page tells you a bit about me but I wanted to get a little more in depth about the blog. My goal is to make my little corner of the internet here as safe and welcoming as possible, so I wanted to make some disclosures and set some boundaries. (Please read, especially for personal policy regarding minors!)

-First and foremost, Heathenry is for everyone. No matter your race, gender, sexuality, age, or ability. Fascism has no place here or anywhere else in Heathenry. I will not tolerate any such ideologies being spread here.

-A newly ignited passion of mine is fostering future generations of Pagans and Heathens. For that reason, I am accepting of minors interacting with this blog with some caveats. These are to protect ourselves and foster healthy boundaries.

1. Please limit interactions to likes, public comments, reblogs, or asks; no private messages. This keeps us both accountable for the appropriateness and intent of our interaction. I do not have the option for anonymous questions for this reason (and to generally try to deter trolls). I ask that these interactions stay related the topic of the post being responded to, working with Loki, or things relating to Heathenry/my other religious identifiers. I do not want anyone to ever question my intentions in wanting to educate you or other youth, nor do I want to put your safety in jeopardy.

2. Speaking of safety, the only time I will respond to private messages from minors is for questions regarding gender transition. As a trans person, I fully understand the need to discuss those things more discretely if it is not safe for you to do so publicly. I understand how challenging it can be to find safe adults and accurate information about the process. I am here to educate as best I can. If you have questions about the transition process, I will do my best to help you get accurate information. Please understand, however, that I am not a therapist and I will not discuss personal details with you. This is for our safety. The most I will ever share about my personal life is whatever is relevant to getting you accurate information (such as the process I went through to change my name or pursue surgeries).

-Related to the previous point, I will do my best moving forward to either tag and/or indicate at the top of my posts what may not be suitable for minors. (This will be based more on content than things like language. I figure if you're old enough to be online, you're probably familiar with a few choice words.)

-A lot of what I share on here is related to my UPG (unverified personal gnosis), practices, and beliefs. It is absolutely ok if your UPG or beliefs do not align with mine. However, I will not tolerate anyone trying to discredit my, or anyone else's, experiences. Keep all discussion civil and respectful. I hate doing it, but I will block people if harassment and the like becomes a continual problem.

-Life is too short to have a stick up your butt about comics and movies that people enjoy, so we respect Marvel fans around here. This does not mean that we are equating the Gods to Marvel's interpretations of Them, nor are we equating Tom Hiddleston with Loki. I am under no delusions here. That said, some people came to these Gods through Marvel material and it is something that can be enjoyed in and of itself. I have made a few posts about how the Gods can sometimes sneak Their way into that stuff and that's just fun (for me, at least) to see. Sometimes Thor likes watching those movies with me. I found watching the Loki series to be a surprisingly devotional act because of the character arcs and material correlating with a lot of the work I've done with Loki. None of this has to be your jam. Just don't be a jerk about it. (Also, if I use a Tom-Loki gif as a reaction or to indicate a vibe Loki's giving me, that's all it is. No need to get worked up.)

Other general notes:

-I tend to refer to Loki with He/They pronouns because of how They generally present around me. Whatever pronouns you use to refer to Loki are absolutely fine.

-If you are curious, the meaning behind the name Lokavisi and my choice to use it can be found here.

-Loki and Their family tend to get the most of my attention, but I have had experiences with and some connection to other deities in the Norse pantheon and beyond. I am also looking to "shake hands" with more deities and spirits for my own edification and oracular practices. (If I'm going to be sharing messages from Someone, I feel like it helps to know Them at least a little.)

-My main blog is @bifuriouslyqueer. So if you see that blog following you or liking your posts, it's me. If you care to follow (and it is absolutely ok if you don't), that's a little more DNI for minors. It is full of my pop culture hyperfixations, mental health and political woes, and general trash memes.

-Banner art is "Loki's Children" by AnywhereButReality on DeviantArt. Profile pic art is from @jessiarts

-If you would like a tarot, rune, or oracle card reading, please visit my Ko-Fi! If cost is a barrier for you, please do not hesitate to reach out so we can work something out! While I am broke and need money, I don't want to be inaccessible.

Alright, enjoy the blog!

[pedrostylez]

500 Followers Reading Recommendation List

Hi there! Happy Saturday!

I just wanted to say thank you to the 500 people that are following me. I started this account back in March/April to have fun, start writing again (I was in the thick of it with One Direction fanfiction from 2012-2017 and took a massive break from that... Iykyk) and to make friends. I’ve connected with so many of you, and I love seeing us all thirsting on the feed, and just being a community? Idk if that’s cheesy, but there are plenty of things that could be improved with how this fanbase operates but this is my favorite part.

I felt like the best way to celebrate and to have fun is to bring attention to other people’s writing that I enjoy. Frothing at the mouth, or maybe just kicking my feet, whatever. I’ve been stockpiling these since the beginning (mainly so I can keep track because I will forget what I’m reading through and I don’t want to miss anything) and want to just highlight as many people as I can. 

I hope you all can give these guys some love too. If any of these are not your cup of tea and you want to make comments or say something to one of these authors I highly encourage you to read this announcement I made a while ago. I stand by this and encourage others to do the same.

I tried to not repeat an author with a character, but I will say that each of these lovely people writes for multiple characters (not always in the Pedro character universe either) and I have and continue to read from their whole masterlist. 

This is in no way the whole ongoing list that I keep for myself to find something that I enjoy, and I am positive I have missed some amazing people. I encourage everyone to reblog and interact with authors as you find things you like, “popular” or not, so as to keep us all as what I described above-a community.

Most of these recommendations are smut, which is indicated with *. If there is no *, it either has none or it does not at the time of posting this. Proceed with caution. 🙂

(If I get anyone’s name or pronouns wrong, please let me know so I can fix it. I tried to do my due diligence, however, I am prone to mistype so a quick message will get it changed!)

Joel Miller

@softlyspector-Honeyed

Becca’s story Honeyed is everything my fluffy heart desires. It is so soft, and I can feel my heart ache when I read it (I mean this in a good way and idk how else to describe it.) Ellie and Sarah’s dynamic is also so interesting, and I love how she writes the different connections between them all. Becca’s descriptions and ability to immerse you into the story is top notch. 

@jrrmint- Dad’s Best Friend (Series)*

JJ’s series absolutely destroyed me, in the best way possible. The way he expresses his feelings is so very Joel, but also so very “every man I’ve ever interacted with”, and the way he is so protective of reader…oh my lord. Just brilliant. JJ is here to kill it, every fucking time. 

@darkroastjoel- A Safe Haven (series)*

Vee is extremely talented, even when she thinks otherwise. (Vee I love you so much omg). So much effort and care is put into what she writes, and I am always sitting at the edge of my seat. A Safe Haven is angsty, makes my heart flutter, and Joel is portrayed so well. Hiding a relationship while having issues in Peach’s home to help the community? Real-life anxiety. Vee’s Ellie is also one of my favorites and gives comedic relief when necessary (but also a wakeup call to Peach a lot of the time). Love love love.

@hier--soir-Back to Texas

Jessie you probably thought I was going to put your professor joel series here, and while that is so fucking good (screeching into a pillow so my husband doesn’t hear, good), this specific piece you wrote? Emotional damage. Tears, in my eyes, sniffling and trying to keep it together. It really just calls upon my daddy issues to read Joel so distraught and loving and anxious about visiting his home where he last saw Sarah. Ugh. Love you. 

@joelscruff- One Thing I’m Missing (series)*

Cat’s ability to suck you into the world she has created is insane. I highly recommend all of the things she writes, but some sweetness mixed with horniness always makes me want to just pass away. Accidentally falling asleep together? And now you BOTH can’t stop? Bye. So deliciously heart-wrenching. 

@atinylittlepain-Hungry Hearts (Series) *

Dear god this series has me crying, covering my face in embarrassment, drooling, and so much more. Summer love wrapped up with childhood crushes and bouncing back and forth between past and present? Thinking you know what’s best for the person you love and hurting them in the process? The flow of how Ginny writes keeps me on the hook no matter what she’s writing, and this is no different. I am absolutely able to lose myself in her writing and just be fully immersed, and I so so SO appreciate it.

@dev1lm4n-Porn Star Joel (series)*

Ann I swear to you, you’re the reason I am now obsessed with this “porn star” trope, specifically for Joel Miller. Joel having a secretive side job to make sure he keeps his family above water, but suddenly not able to think about anything other than reader, an exchange student living in his house? So fucking good. Sink your teeth in and just indulge. 

Frankie Morales

@pedropascalsx- Relief*

This had my gut in knots reading it. I have such a soft spot for Frankie as a character, and I remember the first time I read through this one-shot I gasped out loud at how mean you had written him. (This is a good thing, trust me). The smut is top shelf, mesmerizing.  Cristina has some of the best writing around with detail that is chef’s kiss. 

@peterhollandkait-Everthing I Know Leads Me Back to You

This is another series that I had first read when I was thinking about restarting my page, and Kait does not disappoint. The angst and heartbreak for sweet baby Frankie who is having issues is out of this world.

@javiscigarette-Just Focus on My Love*

Cami has this way about how she writes that I just consume so quickly and I don’t think I can ever stop. This one-shot called to me and calls me out at the same time for how often I will just play video games for hours. And the idea of Frankie? Coming to try and distract me? Yes please.

Javier Peña

@pascalsbby-Little Bunny*

Man, I just love Javier Peña. Whether he’s snarky and is a slut or is secretly really sweet. This one doesn’t disappoint either, with Kat having the ability to just get Javier to bring you home and on your knees…

@lokischocolatefountain -Salvation*

Married Javi and his struggles is the most insane way to get me hooked on him, but lokischocolatefountain did that. They have a whole “married javi” section of their masterlist that I find myself coming back to often!

@devilmademewriteit-Salvatore (series)*

When I was first reapproaching tumblr as a platform to write on, I came across Em’s writing. I was in the middle of watching Narcos, and it called out to me like a siren song, and I wasn’t able to stop reading it. I love a sassy Javi who is really just basically in love with you and trying to hide it, mixed in with some amazing smut. Absolutely brilliant Em!

@swiftispunk- Let Me and Use Me*

Hannah’s ability to call upon my niche needs at the moment freaks me out sometimes, because giiiirrrlllll. When I first read Let Me and the follow up Use Me, I melted into a puddle and had to be mopped up like snow being kicked off boots next to a wood stove. I will never ever EVER be over Javi P, and this two parter is reread OF-TEN. The idea that a man can read me so well, and just knows what I need? Yes please. 

Din Dijarin

@frannyzooey-Take Me To Church (Series) *

Kelli has an extensive masterlist that I have gone through a couple times (or more, ahem). Her Take Me to Church series is what made me interested in Din as a character, since I had never really watched the Star Wars saga. I have a soft spot for western AU’s that can’t be helped, so that just pushed me along as well. Kelli’s writing is always so fucking satisfying-good soup.  

@whatsnewalycat- Passenger (series) 

Aly has quite a few series that I am reading constantly. Again, never really had been interested in the Star Wars series (sue me, people) but her portrayal of Din as a truck driver and bounty hunter is so heavenly. I am typically under the covers with all the lights off reading her stuff because I get so excited and so honed in that I haven’t realized I’ve basically burrowed into my bed. 

@no-droids- Rough Day (series) *

Originally found on AO3, and I sure do loveeeeeeeee it. The wait is worth it, and the smut is spot on. I love the character growth that is shown in this series, and while I haven’t ever spoken with no-droids, I know they are insanely talented. An amazing read. 

Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels

@fuckyeahdindjarin-Palomino (series) *

Cee doesn’t need a whole introduction but IMMA GIVE HER ONE. The amount of effort, and time and love she puts into her writing is shown when you’re reading on your phone, eyes barely open at 3 in the morning, telling yourself you’ll go to sleep after this next paragraph. And then of course, you don’t because something juicy is happening or you want to see how Jack is going to look lovingly at Darlin’ and you just stay up until you complete the chapter. Cee has some amazing amazing AMAZING series, and this is just one of them! 

@psychedelic-ink-Move Me, Baby *

Sil, if you don’t already know what you do to me, then here it is. You literally destroy me. This three-part series is as delectable as they come, being angsty and fluffy but also smut city babyyyyy. Sil is extremely talented and often has me questioning if I have a new kink or what exactly my deal is. 

Ezra (Prospect)

@the-ginger-hedge-witch- Adversity Western AU (Series)*

Ren. I stg. The ideas that you have send me into orbit. This is both Frankie and Ezra, but I am putting it under Ezra because the relationship between reader and Ezra is what I tend to focus on when I am reading this. Frankie’s relationship is also fascinating (and Ezra and Frankie together is extremely hot) but Ezra is written in this way that I just know is him exactly. She completely captured what Ezra’s cadence was (in my head at least) and I am infatuated with it.  

@ezrasversion-Heat*

Rue…my dear god. “Don’t stop on my account… unless of course you’d be more acquiescent to the idea of my assistance.” Like really?! I read this after I watched prospect for the first time and just about keeled over. How you captured how Ezra speaks was so spot on with the movie. So so good!

[cookies-and-mirrors]

Prison of Stone and Flesh

Chapter Ten

This is a collaborative fic between @cookiesupplier and @faceless-mirror.

Dividers by @samspenandsword

Pairings: Chris x transfem!Vinny, Justin x transmasc!Ricky, Chris x Justin x Ryan, Chris x transmasc!Ricky, Ryan x ONBC, Ryan x transfem!Vinny, Ryan x transmasc!Ricky, Justin x transfem!Vinny

Triggerlist: transphobia, homophobia, abuse, SA, dubcon, religious trauma, past suicide attempts, mental health issues, grief, death, (To be added to)

Christopher, Justin, and Ryan are members of the Gargoyle Order, soldiers fighting in the angels war against the demonic supernatural evils of the world to protect human kind. Through the years they lost comrades and now just the three of them remain in their little town.

Now, Ricky and Vinny are moving into their church, stirring up old and new feelings, along with the past, posing the challenge of navigating this new chapter in their lives.

Can they all navigate this path successfully and break free of the prisons that is their lives of both stone and flesh, or will they all be trapped forever in a world that could prove to be a constant misery?

MASTERLIST HERE

Taglist: @miamore0570 @21-century-tae @dragon-chica @shilohrosechicken @phxntxsmicgoricxl

@missduffsblog @witchyweeb34 @spicywhenspeaking @lacktoesandtoddlerants @blackveilomens

@bngurngheart @dominuslunae @collapsedglasshouses @emmmm127 @sunsshinesunny

@latenightmusiclover @dontdiganothergravetoday

(please comment/like/reblog/message to be added to taglist)

Chapter Ten

Vinny smiled, seeing Justin slipping from Ricky's room. “Want some eggs before you leave? I'm making my breakfast.” She offered to him, brushing her hair back with an easy-going grin. “How do you like your eggs? Scrambled? Sunny side up? Fried?”

Justin hasn’t realised that she was already up, oh, at least he was already dressed, so much for just slipping out the door. How he liked his eggs, right, right, sure, he knew there were different ways to cook eggs, of course he knew that.. But when, you didn’t really have the luxury of living in a home, or apartment, making food like that.. Doing things like cooking eggs… right… never happened. “Ah, any way I can get them. Beggars can’t be choosers, so they say.”

Vinny laughed, “I'll make a couple of styles, and you tell me which one you like most.” She explained, moving gracefully to prep her skillet, mixing up some eggs humming softly. “Have fun last night? He can be an interesting experience. Most people don't expect him to be dominant.” She explained, her skirt sweeping against her knees.

She set a sweet coffee in front of him, smiling softly. “I added extra caramel.” She whispered, moving back to the stove.

His eyes went a little wide hearing that about the eggs, “Oh, oh, you don’t have to do that.” Not that he wouldn’t eat all of them, he most surely would. Justin could probably eat both occupants of this apartment under the table all on his own, not counting Christopher and Ryan. Never mind, they lived on whatever they could find, for, well, as long as he could remember. They made do, it was what they were used to. It wasn’t a problem, they did fine. When the Church functioned, it was much easier, there was always food in the kitchen, and they never questioned when there was some going missing, during the night, never made sure never to take more than they needed though. They were not greedy.

Oh, well, “Yea, most people don’t expect me to be submissive either.” As big, and as imposing, as he could be. He was as big as Christopher, they expected him to be a lot like him, and he just.. Wasn’t. Christopher was one of the gargoyles originally created by the angels, Justin was one of the later generations, born, and raised. Sometimes he thought it hurt Christopher more how the angels had treated them, because he remembered how they’d always dismissed them in the start, only for it to get worse with time. Sipping at his coffee, smiling at the extra caramel, thankful for that, but he swallowed thinking about Ricky being dominant. “Is.. is he always dominant?” he hadn’t minded Ryan last night, and Justin knew Ryan, he, he did not switch, not… anymore.

Vinny smiled softly, “Rick is… usually dominant. But he does switch when he finds the right people. People he can trust. He trusts you quite a bit, he fell asleep with you.” she explained, putting some scrambled eggs in a bowl with cheese and offered it to him, before starting on a fried egg. “By the way… I get way too many eggs at any time. I don’t want them going bad. If you guys ever want some, I’ll put some in the kitchen in the Rectory. I was going to go grocery shopping for you guys in a few days. You should make a list of what you guys like, and I’ll get it for you.” she added.

Her heels clicked lightly as she moved around, eating some eggs herself. “If you wanna learn how to cook anything, just let me know. I love teaching people how to cook.” she admitted, smiling as she started working on more styles of eggs, “Will you take some to Ryan? I don’t know if he got enough to eat earlier.”

Justin was still as he heard that. Of course Ricky would trust Ryan, everyone trusted Ryan, it was practically ingrained into who he was. It was his virtue, after all. Sure, when it came to virtues, only Christopher was created with his virtue actually in mind, but they all symbolized them for a reason. Trusting him like this was nothing, he knew nothing of who Justin really was, he hadn’t worn even one weapon, no daggers, no swords, no nothing.. What did Ricky have not to trust. Ryan, however, he was going to switch for, he was.. He was.. Justin didn’t want to think about that smirk that Ryan when he’d said goodnight to Ricky, and, see you tomorrow. 

“Won’t you use them for the café, though? I mean, baking?” Justin asked slowly… “I mean, we, none of us, well, none of us really know how to cook or make anything. We’ve never really had time to learn.” Sure, the rectory did have the tiniest little kitchenette, renovated now, yet, did any of them have the time, with patrols, no… let alone the ability!

“Well, I could… but I also buy too many to use in a month so… I’ll stock your fridge… and you will learn to cook with me some nights. Okay? I think it'd be good for you.” She said firmly, setting a plate of fried eggs and an omelet. “Go ahead. Eat.”

She was a busy little morning bug. Moving around and flitting about, filling the church with amazing smells. Her hair was tied back in a bun as she grinned offering a few dozen hard-boiled eggs, peeling them for her customers and a few for Ryan, Justin, and Chris. 

Learn to cook, Justin just, he almost couldn’t believe the idea. He’d have to find a way to fit it around patrols, and Vinny working with Ricky in the bar. “I mean, if, if it’s not too much, I know you’re so busy, with the café, and the bar.. But I, I might like that.” Smiling slightly, finally looking down to the bowl with the scrambled eggs and cheese, trying a mouthful.. They were fresh and so… Oh, they were so good. These had to be his favorite… Right? 

Glancing over at the different types of other eggs that Vinny had put out to try. He knew they weren’t all for her, he knew, of course, he could more than eat all of them. Christopher always made sure they never took more than they needed. He picked up one of the hard-boiled ones next to take a bite, chewing, it, it was alright, but, he liked the other one better, the cheesy mushy one so far. Then there were the fried ones.. Oh they were good too.. This.. “This is hard to choose. How are you supposed to know which one is your favorite?”

Vinny chuckled, “sometimes it depends on the day. My favorite is an omelet with spinach and onions, mushrooms… and hollandaise sauce.” She explained warmly, “I just can't make hollandaise for shit…” she admitted with a laugh, before bringing over sunny side up along with bacon and tofu bacon for Chris. 

She sipped her own coffee. “eggs are cheap and not too hard to make. We can start there whenever you want.” She assured him, “eat as much as you want. I have quite a bit packed up already for Chris and Ryan. You just had fun with Rick… anyone needs food after keeping up with him.” 

She smirked softly, looking into her coffee. “But he makes sure everyone leaves his bed satisfied.” She admitted. “It's like he knows what people need.”

Looking to the last that she’d made for him this morning, what he assumed was an omelet. He wasn’t sure if it had the spinach and onions and mushrooms in it, but he had a feeling it was an omelet. Taking a bite, he smiled, he could see what she liked about it, the different flavours along with the ends, oh that was nice. But if it came to eggs, as eggs… scrambled had to be his go to so far, definitely. 

Drinking some more of his coffee now, smirking a little behind his cup at the quip about keeping up with Ricky. “Oh, it's not that hard, if he let me, I’m sure I could try to put him through his paces.” Sighing, though, he had a feeling Ryan or even Christopher would probably be better at that again. They both had so much more experience, at well, everything, than him anyway.

She laughed, “Good! Boy is a never ending supply of energy I swear…” she laughed, letting him eat what stood out to him as she cleared her own plate. “Don't forget to write a list of foods you like, Ryan likes, and I think I know what Chris likes.” she said warmly putting the plate in the dishwasher before cleaning up and packing up the warm meals.

“Take Ryan's when you leave, I'll give Chris his.” She promised, moving over to peck Justin's head gently, clear affection. The same she gave Ricky. “Whatever you don't eat, just shove it into the package with Ryan's food.” 

“Honestly, we will eat anything, Christopher though, he, his preferences have always been personal, but you’ve got them pretty good so far.” Justin quickly eating more, yeah, there was no way Ryan was going to get any more of his, even what he didn’t like as much as the scrambled and the omelet, he was still scarfing down of his portions.. Because, he was hungry, and he’d never been given this much food. It was amazing. 

Part of him wondered if he should ask if it’ll keep until tonight, but then remembered that they had a kitchen. If Ryan didn’t have time to eat it fresh this morning, he could eat it up tonight, right? Still, “Maybe I should go take him his soon, give him time to eat before we head out to work… Christopher will probably be heading to find you soon as well.”

She blushed softly looking at her hands that held the package, “yeah. I really just… hope he likes it. I'm happy you liked breakfast.” She explained warmly, “he's going to help me with flowers.” She explained before smiling at him. “I'll see you later.” She said gently, before she slipped out into the main of the church looking for Chris as she went down the stairs, almost tripping in her excitement. 

Christopher had already heard Vinny and Justin talking in the resident apartment, while he hadn’t pleased that Justin had gotten involved so intimately with Ricky there was nothing he could do about it. They weren’t supposed to act on their attractions to mortals, even if he long accepted that they had them, even he did, something he knew. Then there was the flip side, that note, that message when he’d returned to the rectory earlier. 

They were sending a new handler, that meant another new angel. After Jerahmiel, he didn’t know what to expect. He’d hoped for help, mentally asked for it. He regretted that now. A new angel handler meant that involving themselves so closely with the mortals was going to bring them trouble, even friendships would get them punished. Jerahmiel had always been a hard task master. Christopher kept Ryan and Justin to the edicts, sure, however, he didn’t punish them the way the angel had for even the most minor infractions, and never would. After all of that, how could this next one be any different?

This was why Christopher had decided that until their new handler had arrived, if Justin and Ryan wanted to involve themselves with the mortals, who was he to stand in their way? As he walked downstairs, he thought about Vinny in that matter, what about her, would she, no, no he shouldn’t… He shouldn’t. Then he saw her and he just couldn’t help but smile.

Vinny trotted over and set the large Tupperware down and looked up at him with soft eyes. “Hey… are you ready?” She asked, pulling in a delivery of roses from outside, offering them to Chris, observing him with a small smile.

The roses were beautiful as Christopher accepted them from her, breathing in their scent, “They’re perfect, I’m sure she’ll love them.” Smiling as he looked over to the pedestal that was marked with Authenticity, and sighed softly. Carrying them over, he moved behind the bar, and took the flowers that were there, and replaced them with the roses fresh on the pedestal that Chenza had once perched on. He murmured a morning blessing in enochian as his fingers brushed over the virtue plaque. 

She smiled sadly, taking the old flowers to place in other empty vases, already filling with dried flowers. She gave him time at the platform to mourn, she didn't fully understand. But that was okay. She didn't need to, to know that Chris was starting to feel more secure grieving. She walked back to him and gently rubbed his arm softly. “You okay?” She asked, green eyes peering up at him with a soft smile. "Have you eaten yet? I made eggs… and tofu bacon.” She said softly.

Christopher glanced back towards Vinny, seeing how she had placed the flowers he’d moved from Chenza’s platform, and spread them into other vases on the platforms of other fallen members of his unit. Taking in a deep breath, he couldn’t explain that to Vinny though, just talking about how the virtue reminded him of his love was so close, but making up more excuses would be crossing a line he was sure. 

“I am,” sighing softly, as he looked at her, those gorgeous eyes so beautiful, and so, he tried not to compare them to Chenza but every time he looked into her eyes… “I will be okay.” Blinking at the question of eating, Oh, yesterday he’d had the cookies, the thought of eggs, and.. “Tofu bacon? I’ve never tried it.”

She laughed and moved to the counter, grabbing him a fork, walking back to him with the container. “It's like bacon but vegan. Like the fried tofu.” She explained as she pulled off the lid and handed the warm plastic container to him. “While you eat, do you want to learn how I make your coffee?” She questioned fondly.

As she handed the container to him, immediately Christopher knew that the eggs were real and not a vegan substitute, glancing towards her, wondering how, how did she do that. How did she know, know what he could seem to handle tolerating with eating them and not.. Not that he touched animal products most days, but eggs were not quite as much of an issue for him.. They were something, as long as they weren’t fertilized, was something that needed to be passed, and needed to be consumed, or would be wasted. It benefited the chickens.. Provided they were treated humanely.

Still, he took a bite, and that was all it took, a low groan.. It was so good. Just like that, he realized how hungry he was, and he was eating, possibly, a little bit too fast, actually. He was hungry, and it felt good to have a full belly for once.

She smiled and moved to make his coffee, adding some vanilla soy milk and oat milk with the coffee with sugar and coconut whip, pushing it to him. “I'm going to teach Justin to make eggs so you guys can have those regularly, and I'm going to get you premade vegan meals as well. I was also considering protein shakes?” She offered, “they have some great vegan ones.”

Okay, he ate that too fast. His tongue might be a little bit scalded from the eggs still being hot and fresh, he’d never had anything so freshly cooked, save for those wonderful cookies. “Justin, cooking? Are you trying to poison us?” Not that that would work, his small smile on his face told her he was joking. Considering some of the things they’d eaten over the years, they’d survive even the worst dish that Justin tried to make, he was sure. “Babygirl, we do eat, you don’t have to keep feeding us, though I am delighted that you think of me.” Oh, oh, he was.

He knew she thought they were homeless, but he just wanted to assure her that they did their best to look after themselves, even if they were living in a previously abandoned Church. Obviously just thankful that they hadn’t kicked them out after they realized they were still here.

Vinny shook her head. “You guys don't look like you eat enough. Like you live off bread which isn't healthy. You need rounded out meals… I'm just helping with that. I'm sure you can agree you all have felt better with a balanced diet.” she pointed out firmly with a knowing smile, “you all seem to be much more active.”

Eat enough? Christopher was confused, well, admittedly in the years since the Church had been abandoned, and the kitchen had been shut down here, it had gotten harder for them to get food as regularly. They still got quite a bit of food, found it as they could. Swallowing, “Vinny, this isn’t your… responsibility.” That feeling was painful, because, no, no, it was his. Glancing in a direction up towards where he knew the rectory was, everything that had happened, he had to do better didn’t he? He’d been trying, he couldn’t have this damn handler come in and… prove he was as pathetic as he felt right then. He couldn’t even feed his unit properly. They fought, day and night, for nothing, what did they expect from them? Miracles? That wasn’t their department. He would find something, he would have to. As it was, telling her they seemed more active because they actually let them see them now, seemed pointless, he did feel better after eating, and her coffee, was as always, divine.

She sighed softly, “I know it's not. But just because it’s not my responsibility, it is my responsibility as a kind person to help when I can.” Her voice was crisp and matter-of-factly, no room for argument. “If I didn’t help, I wouldn’t be me.” 

“You have enough on your plate. Let me handle food. It’s something that helps, why not? Then you can eat whenever in a more balanced way,” she reasoned sweetly, “Plus…you probably don’t know how the modern oven and stove work.” she added, “So… let me take the one worry you have that you can’t handle, to me.” she assured reaching up to pet his cheek. “You don’t have to do everything if you let people help you.” she assured, petting his cheek. “Okay?” she whispered.

“Plus this way if someone wants popcorn… I know at least one person has a chance of not burning it.” she teased with a smile.

No. No, no, no. Christopher couldn’t tell her how horrified he felt at that moment. He couldn’t even admit it to himself really because there was something inside of him that he was running from, in the worst way. Vinny was the most beautiful being, and deserved the world, the utter world. But then, at that moment, when she started almost what he felt like, gently berating him for his insisting she didn’t need to do this, all he could think of was… No, no this was not okay…

Chenza.

Christopher was horrified at himself. 

Swallowed, all he wanted was the best for her, and he wanted, he would give her everything if he could, but how could he if he, if he was so lost… If he was so lost in her. Breathing in so deep, “Vinny, I- You barely know me, you barely know us.. You don’t know us at all.. Why.. why do this for us at all?”

She took a deep breath, “Because, Chris, treat others how you would like to be treated. And plus, karma. What you put into the world… comes back to you.” Her lips quirked gently, “I just want people to help each other when it's something so easily solved with compassion and understanding. Okay?”

Vinny just kept making it worse for him didn’t she, twisting him up a little more every time she gently chastised him for not understanding why she was being so kind. Why, why did she have to be so much like her. He hated this feeling, this inability to separate them. Please, he needed something, anything, give him something different in her.. Absolutely anything.. It was killing him to look at her, to hear her, to have her even scold him like Chenza did. No one talked to him like this anymore. No one told him off quite like she did, no one dared. He knew she was right, but it hurt all the more that he couldn’t separate Chenza from Vinny, and it wasn’t fair to Vinny..

Taking in a deep, shuddering breath, “BabyGirl- I- Vinny-” Stopping himself, stop it stop it stop it, his lips pressing together trying to figure out what he was even trying to say right then. How could he tell her he didn’t believe in karma.. How could he.. He lived with the knowledge his mate and her unborn children were murdered, because of him.. That Ryan, who had been abused and tortured by someone that was supposed to support them..  Christopher, he, he didn’t deserve any of her kindness because he could only lie to her about any of his life. 

He was a coward, and he was tired.. “Okay.” It was his responsibility to take care of his unit, and he was failing. Maybe, letting her do it in his stead, was all he had left. Jerahmiel was right, he was a waste of his race, the last of the original creations. He was worthless, he was nothing.

She kissed his forehead softly, “Chris. All I’m doing is teaching a skill and providing space for the skill to grow.” she whispered with a soft smile. “Don’t overthink it darling.” she insisted petting his cheek, “Do you mind flipping the sign to open and unlock the door for me? I’d appreciate it.

When Vinny leaned up to him, Christopher’s head dipped on instinct without thinking, so her lips came in contact with his skin. He swallowed, feeling an instant wave of guilt that he kept accepting these little touches of intimacy when he was so cruel to compare her so blatantly to another… Sighing, all she was doing, that wasn’t all she was doing and there was no way she didn’t know that. She was giving them so much more than skill, and space, she was providing them with all the means to thrive with it. Something Christopher could not manage without stripping away his honor and throwing away the duties that he clung to and fought to follow every night.

Walking to the door with direction, the heavy wooden Church door. Most wouldn’t assume it for a café, but opened up now to a secondary set that was more welcoming and open for people to just push and come in. He opened the heavy doors, and set them open and in place after unlocking the doors that people could push open easily, and flicked the open sign, ready for customers to enter as they wished. Christopher looked out to the street, the darkness still blanketed the world, the dawn however would be approaching soon, and he had to head up to the rectory. Sighing, as he came back to Vinny, “I have to go, I’m sorry.”

She looked up and smiled at him, “Go ahead and take those coffees with you for Justin and Ryan.” She urged. “I gave Ryan espresso this time.” She commented, “in dried raspberry coffee.”

Christopher raised an eyebrow at the mention of the raspberry coffee, however it was for Ryan, and Vinny made enough coffee for him with fruit involved. Always delightful, every time, he could never complain about it either. Nodding slightly as he accepted the coffees, “Thank you, Vinny.” He swallowed, it was bad when he had to remind himself at times, which name to use, when he had only just been thinking the right one a moment before. Looking into her eyes, he sighed.. She deserved better, and yet, everything he felt when he was around her.. Sighing, that was why she deserved better. Still, he couldn’t bring him to stay away right now, could he? “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Promise? I'll dress up for you and we can dance if you want.” She offered, “I have a dress in mind just for you actually…” she teased warmly, “take it easy…okay?” She requested before he was out of earshot.

Vinny watched him as he ascended the stairs up into the Church, loving the look of him as he moved… He had a powerful, reserved nature about him, and he seemed like he needed more help than he got. All she wanted was to see him smile and relax around her… maybe that would help.

[filmofhybe]

CHAPTER 6 : HE FOUND ME..

> pairing : Nishimura Riki x Female Reader

> genre : college student AU! , Pool Lifeguard AU! , smau , fluff

> warnings : SLOW BURN!! , swearing , bad humor jokes , kys jokes (die etc) , kissing , semi verbal bullying (no violence) , reader! injuring herself by accident , missing parent figure

> chapter synopsis : Niki couldn’t his jealousy towards heeseung. Him hanging out with y/n already hit him like a rock. So Niki decides to add y/n on her socials. As Niki compliments y/n recent post, Isabelle founds out causing jealousy to build up in her.

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( I also just want to mention that this series is kinda slow burn, so if your not into slow burn or plot lines that can take a bit to develop than this story is probably not your cup of tea. But I do recommend checking out my other works if you want, enjoy!! )

587 words.

Niki’s pov:

I felt so angry when I saw Jake and Heeseung stories with y/n in them. Knowing that such a pretty girl is with 2 of your best looking friends hurts. Ugh imma go crazy over this girl.

I quickly followed her on all her social. Fuck I hope she doesn’t think I’m a stalker.. now I just have to wait till she follows me back. I walked downstairs to go get some water when I see Isabelle on my couch with my sisters. If I have to be honest with you Isabelle was a really sweet and pretty girl, always listen to my problems and overall a decent person. She’s moving to my college soon which is exciting, I just hope she gets along with my friends.

“Niki want to watch a movie with us?” Isabelle said softly. Making me turn around. “Sure but maybe just a few minutes I’m getting tired.” I walked over to the living room before sitting next to her. My eyes was focused on the movie when my phone lit up. Eyes widen at the notification, jumping off the sofa causing Isabelle to groan. “Fuck you niki I was comfortable laying down.” She held her head in pain. “I’m sorry I just need to go to bed.” It was late either ways.. before any of them could call me back I ran back up stairs.

I was just scrolling through twitter before coming across y/n recent post. God really put his time in creating such a beautiful girl. I liked her post and comment on it before turning on my tv.

The light from my phone caught my attention, grabbing it into my hand and I felt excitement take over my body and mind.

Y/N Y/L/N just followed me back. And replied to my comment.

y/n’s pov:

Jake, heeseung and my family were all sat in the living room doing whatever. I really miss these days where everyone would gather around almost every night before going back to their sweet home. I was zoning out from the conversation until I got a message from instagram, Twitter as well as tiktok.

instagram

nishimura.riki has followed you.

TikTok

dance.riki has followed you.

Twitter

nishimura.r1ki has followed you.

I clicked on his profile and scrolled through his feed. After clicking on some videos i finally realized it was the guy who caught me the week before term break. The scene still plays in my head till this day. I decided to text heeseung even though he’s literally in front of me but if I said it out loud, my whole family is gonna throw unnecessary questions at me.

I texted the group as well after I posted on twitter, didn’t expect Niki or the kids pool guy to comment on it.

Isabelle pov:

series taglist : @surefornext @spilled-coffee-cup @haechansgf @txtistheloml @skepvids @syuuji @oshakyao @haechansbbg

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