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van-zieksy · 2 years

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Dear van zieksy,

Hello how are you doing? I’ve been thinking about more questions to ask you about Barok our dear reaper (yes it’s me that anon) but I keep coming short on what to ask since I pretty much been given interesting and I think on point answers before. Nevertheless I couldn’t help myself because I enjoy your writing it feels like I go back few centuries and two and I wish I could become as good writer as you are but that is still work in progress. As I’ve been pondering on what to ask I remembered that we haven’t got much of your insight on Barok’s first true friend from university days - Albert Harebrayne! What do you think how would a normal everyday university life looked like for both Albert and Barok? How did they meet and how their friendship started(I don’t think that was mentioned I scarcely remember they played chess?? I would like your more elaborate insight on that - who used to win the most - not gonna like most likely Barok). I sincerely hope that this question albeit probably not that great would be satisfactory to provife answer on your free time.

I wish you all the best

Yours our dear reaper anon aka Reaper-san

P.S: Maybe I should think of better nickname to be known for but for now I guess calling me Reaper-san shall do

( I tried to write this question in a style of a letter addressed to you I hope you liked it and if you did I can I use this style of writing at our next “encouter” too)

Greetings, Reaper-san! (I like the nickname you have chosen for yourself.)

I do appreciate that you took the time to send me this ask. I like your „letter-style“ ask, so let’s exchange proverbial letters from here on out. :D Please know that I am always glad to hear from you. Any and all questions are appreciated and valid! Further, thank you so much for your kind words! Without further ado, let’s see what we can dig up about Albert’s and Barok’s friendship.

I have to preface this by saying that we do not know much about their university days, so many of the aspects I am going to mention are headcanons that I have crafted for myself. When you see italicised words, then that refers to something that a character actually said in the game. I think the way they have met was quite unspectacular yet silly. It’s Albert we’re speaking of, so of course it was unconventional! I think they did spend quite a bit of time together, but their time together was still limited due to social obligations, their studies, and so forth. We do know that Barok was – and still is – a gentleman who gladly assists other people. Based on this I have had two scenarios in my head for a while. So let’s dive right in.

1. In this scenario Barok happens across Albert in the library on campus. The young scientist in training is struggling with getting his hands on a particular book that is too high up for someone of his size and hence out of reach, like so many things in his life. That cutting edge screwdriver he saw at the hardware store earlier this week, or his dream of living in Germany to become a scientist worthy of showcasing his latest inventions to the world. If only he were born into a wealthier family. Not that his family is struggling financially, but they aren’t rich nobility either. He lets out a deep sigh. Sadly, there is no ladder nearby. Who constructed this library? They should have asked for his input. A sharply-dressed, tall young man catches a glimpse of this lean, eccentric student with hair reminiscent of cotton candy and can’t help but smile at the desperate but also endearing sight. He decides to approach this curious individual, „Good day, sir. It appears you are in need of assistance. Pray, allow me to help you,“ and he grabs the book from the highest shelf to hand it to Albert. Of course the blonde man is in awe, having never seen a person of such an impressive size and statue, or majestic elegance, for that matter. Without even realising it, he accepts the book. „Thank you...sir...You are too kind...ehm…“ What to say, what to say?!! From what he has read, introducing yourself is always recommended in social situations such as this one. „I am Albert, Albert Harebrayne, but please just call me Albert. Everyone just calls me Albert, because...well...I’m not that special hahaha,“ he says as he nervously scratches the back of his head. „At least not as special as you are. I mean, just look at you. You’re obviously nobility. And a giant...and so fancy...and so…..handsome. Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that! I….“. The other man has to stop Albert there before he can incriminate himself even more but is trying really hard to suppress a chuckle. The distinguished gentleman he is, he simply responds in a polite yet firm tone, „It is alright, good sir. I do not mind. As a matter of fact, people stare at me all the time. I have gotten very good at ignoring the curious masses by now. I am Barok van Zieks, but you may call me Barok. No honorary title, please.“ He bows slightly with a tender smirk on his face. What is it about this regal man that is drawing him in? Albert feels overwhelmed, but in a good way. It’s as if this young lord, or whatever he may be, is absorbing the whole room with his presence, and at the same time he can’t make him out at all. „Pray, allow me to point out that I am not special either. I suggest you do not let my status as a noble scare you away. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Albert Harebrayne.“ „Oh,“ is all Albert can manage to utter as he bites his fingernails, face as red as the red shirt he is wearing under his laboratory coat today. This grandiose, imposing man who looks like he just jumped out of a fashion parade isn’t as self-important as he looks. Maybe they can become friends? Albert doesn’t have any real friends because he’s so preoccupied with his studies. It would be nice to have someone he can rely on, and vice versa, be someone others can count on. This peculiar Barok van Zieks may even be able to solve some of his problems.

2. Once again Albert is in a precarious situation. He wouldn’t be Albert Harebrayne if he weren’t. But this time he ends up dropping all his books as he scurries about on the university grounds trying to make it to his next lesson in time. As Albert is leaning down to pick up his books, a large shadow is slowly approaching and engulfing him from behind. „P-p-please don’t hurt me! I am just a poor scientist with no money!“ A few seconds pass, but to his surprise, no one is attacking him. He then observes the overwhelming shadow slowly move around him until it manifests itself in the form of a very tall, muscular young man dressed in clothing of simple elegance. This man is now standing right in front of him. Even without his iconic stoic face and scar and his ultra-tight prosecutor outfit highlighting every nook and cranny of his toned body, Barok can look intimidating to people, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Albert thinks that this younger version of our prosecutor is another one of those „rowdies who always try to steal people’s lunch money,“ but this time they must have sent the most intimidating guy amongst their ranks. Just as Albert is mentally preparing himself to be knocked to the ground, he lifts up his head ever so slightly and ends up staring into light blue eyes as enchanting and deep as the ocean. Now that he thinks about it, they are actually similar to his eye colour. Those eyes tell him that this person is a gentle, kind soul, and sure enough, the towering figure leans down to pick up the books for him. „Pray forgive the discourtesy of scaring you. It was not my intention. Please allow me to accompany you and carry these books for you.“ Albert is clearly shocked. „B-but why would YOU out of all people do that? You’re obviously one of those, those fancy nobles. I-I think. Just look at your outfit. Everything has its place. It probably cost more than my parents earn in wages in a year! And it looks so gallant on your...well, impressive body.“ Oh no, what did he just say?!! Can he please just sink into the ground? „I didn’t mean it like that! I’m so sorry! Anyway, yes, I have calculated that you must be a lord, even, or whatever they call people like you. In fact, I think I recognise that family crest. I’ve seen it in the newspaper before. It belongs to Lord...Lord...I forget his name. He’s some important figure in the judiciary. So why in the world would you lower yourself to my level just to help me? It’s not even your fault I dropped my stupid books in the first place. Argh.“ The other man stares at him intensely, slighly irritated...or hurt? „Sir, I do believe we have something in common. People judge you and take advantage of your good nature based on your...unassuming appearance. Well, people are also quick to judge me based on my appearance. Despite my build, I am no rowdy who wishes to inflict harm on people. While you are correct in assuming that I am an aristocrat, I would like for you to understand that I do not think of myself as above others. This may be a common occurence amongst people of my kind, but I assure you I am a human being just like you. Neither of us got to choose the families we were born into. I am Barok van Zieks. Barok, for you. There is no need for you to address me by my title.“ Barok offers his gloved right hand to Albert to help him up, which he shyly accepts. After this unexpected gesture of kindness, Albert looks at this new acquaintance of his sheepishly and wonders how he always ends up making a fool out of himself, yet Barok doesn’t seem to mind, an understanding smile now gracing his lips. Yes, this noble is an unassuming, extremely pleasant, all-around nice fellow, Albert just knows it. Maybe they could even become friends. But from now on, he should really think before he opens his mouth. Most importantly, he should take the time to properly study and analyse people before judging them. Yes, this also applies to trusting others. His aloof nature may get him in much greater trouble in the future.

The two young students decided to stay in contact and made a habit of meeting up a few times a week to get to know each other better. While their paths didn’t cross as often as they would have liked because Barok was in the faculty of law, while Albert was in science, they did spend some time together after school and on the weekends. Barok even invited Albert to his manor for him to meet his family. That’s how Albert realised that the Van Zieks name carries a lot of clout. Barok is indeed a man with great aristocratic origins, and based on how loving his family treated him, the little darling of the Van Zieks family. Despite their differences in status and study paths, they became good friends. Barok himself seems to be suprised that they got along so well (to quote him: „But curiously, we got along.“), but it does make sense. They may appear to be the exact opposite of each other on the surface, but they do have quite a few things in common and complement each other well. Both are kind, dedicated, humble, intelligent and gentle souls who are often misunderstood and even taken advantage of. Barok has always been on the more quiet side and exuded this mysterious depth he still has to this day. Yet he learned to navigate social situations well. Albert, on the other hand, is an outgoing individual who carries all of his feelings and thoughts on a tray, but he’s not very good around people. Albert benefitted from Barok’s quiet dignity and experiences, while Barok allowed himself to be less serious around his new friend. Barok never thought of himself as being above Albert. The fact that Albert was not of noble heritage didn’t bother him in the least. Barok must have thought highly of Albert’s family, too, as he refers to them as a respectable family. In fact, I do think that he supported Albert in his endeavours, whether it be the occasional financial support or the continuous emotional support. I am certain Barok did more for Albert than we know.

Whenever Albert is involved, Barok’s protective instincts kick in. Let’s be real, Albert is a menace (affectionate). He does rely on other people to get him out of the most ridiculous situations. Think how he, once again, relied on Barok at the end of the second game when he accidentally ended up in one of the more expensive hotels in London and couldn’t pay for his room. Barok is a protective person who thinks of others before he thinks of himself. Seeing them interact in the games, and how Barok almost adopts a fatherly stance when Albert is involved, is very adorable. During Albert’s trial, Barok was the one who painted him as an honourable man of science because he knew that this was more important to Albert than anything else in his life. Albert didn’t even have to voice his concerns. Barok was the one party involved in the trial that realised from the outset that the whole experiment was a farce, but in order to protect his friend’s reputation and invention, he had to temporarily pretend the whole situation was murder. He put his faith in Ryunosuke and waited on him to open his eyes. He had to wait on the defence to point out in front of its client that everything must have been a scam, so Barok could then work together with Ryuu to establish that Albert was just a victim in this whole ordeal. After Albert has been declared innocent and the whole truth has been revealed, Barok sensed Albert’s mental anguish, so he went on to lift him up. And as much as Barok wanted to spend time with his friend, he knew that he had to send him back to Germany in order to protect him. Albert always knew that Barok had his best interests at heart, just like he always did. Whereas Barok just knew that he had to help his old friend. He never questioned his loyalty to Albert, despite not having seen each other in over ten years, not to mention that Albert wasn’t even aware of the tragedy that has befallen his long-lost friend.

I imagine Albert was very chatty even during his university days. Due to his overzealous dedication to his studies, he tried to engage Barok in conversations about his experiments and many hypotheses whenever they spent time together. Even though Barok only understood half of what his eccentric friend was talking about, he listened patiently and provided his own input. Sometimes, though, he had to tell Albert to just sit back and relax for his own sake. The young man was so engaged in his studies, he often forgot to eat, sleep and do other everyday things. Every once in a while you could see Barok carry plates with food and tea to Albert’s dormitory room. Oftentimes Albert forgot they were supposed to meet up after dinner, so Barok went to his room only to find him asleep in his chair. Barok would then carry him to bed and leave a handwritten note on his table to let him know what happened: „Good morning, Albert. It seems foolish of me to keep writing these notes every time I encounter you asleep in your room when there must be a more efficient way to let you know that you have once again missed one of our engagements. Please do not overstrain yourself. I do not wish for you to be in pain. I will see you at lunch tomorrow, which—just to be sure—means today for you. With fondest regards, your friend Barok (van Zieks).“

How did they pass their time together? Their outings weren’t particularly exciting. They just enjoyed being in each other’s presence. During the week there wasn’t much time to do anything anyway, so they mainly just talked, went for walks and read together, but on the weekends, Albert would sometimes visit the Van Zieks mansion. This is also when they would attend stage performances or museums together. Albert appreciated performances for their mechanical nature. Everyone involved, every puzzle piece is neatly arranged in a pre-determined order, working together to create a final product where everything make sense in retrospect. During the summers, when Barok spent some of his time at one of his family’s vacation homes, Albert would join them for a week or two. Barok did everything he could to distract Albert from his studies. Some of the activities the interesting pair partook in: lazy strolls through the beautiful countryside, horseback riding (Albert did pretty well, actually!), swimming (with protective clothing, of course), singing/dancing/playing instruments/painting/writing poems (mainly Barok, but Albert would watch or sometimes join in), enjoying lavish meals (Klint was proud to be able to provide some ingredients for those meals, which Barok and Albert weren’t too fond of, but they didn’t have the heart to tell him), cycling (it’s a good thing bikes are sturdy, so Barok did just fine), and so forth. You get the idea.

You have brought up chess. I actually do think that Barok enticed Albert to some rounds of chess. Sadly, it didn’t turn out to be Albert’s favourite pastime. While he enjoyed the abstract idea behind it, the rules did not make much sense to him (how can a pawn become a king or a queen??), so he never won. Well, Barok did let him win once, but of course Albert immediately realised what has happened and scolded his friend for thinking he takes any pride in winning, yet he appreciated the thoughtful gesture nonetheless. We must not forget about the family vineyards. On selected weekends or during his time off, Barok wanted to oversee the growth and harvest and brought Albert along a few times. This didn’t end up the way Barok envisioned it. While Barok handpicked some grapes for his special creations, Albert would do his own harvesting, which entailed nothing more than eating grapes directly from the vines. All this talk about wine making went above his head. Barok didn’t have it within himself to be angry at his companion for satisfying his sweet tooth, so he just let him be. After all, a friendship is about mutual giving and receiving. While Barok did – and still does - most of the giving, he couldn’t deny that his friendship with Albert brought him so much joy, which in itself meant he was also on the „receiving“ end.

Thank you again for the ask! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

With gratitude,

Zieksy

Ps. As for Albert’s comments on Barok’s appearance: I am not implying—nor denying—a romantic relationship of any kind. People are free to see their relationship as anything they want. I had Albert comment on Barok’s looks because a) he says pretty much anything that comes to mind, b) remember how he complimented another character in the game, so there is a precedent, c) I think it is okay to compliment people—regardless of their gender/orientation/etc.—on their looks/style/personality/etc., even if there is no romantic interest or physical attraction, d) Barok does stand out, so it’s not surprising that people take note. I personally see them as friends, but I also enjoy when people have them be something else.

#barok van zieks #albert harebrayne #benjamin dobinbough #ace attorney #the great ace attorney #tgaac #dgs #dai gyakuten saiban #tgaa #asks #Reaper-san ask

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tiard · 7 years

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Me and The Alien

Hi. It’s been years since the last time I actually write things here, huh?

I’m going to tell you a story tonight. It’s about an alien whom I ended up loving, ehm, so deeply. Or, well… maybe it isn’t love. Maybe it’s just me having no other vocabulary popped in my head to define this feeling I have towards him.

Let’s just assume that he came from Grumpus, a planet located close enough to the sun its people become grumpy because of the sun’s heat. Don’t imagine those kind of aliens you could possibly find in a cheap sci-fi movie because he doesn’t look like that, at all. Honestly, he is a little bit charming. Underline that, a little bit.

To be honest, I don’t really remember the first day that I met him. All I can say now is that it happened in my freshman year, more than two years ago. Later he said it was on some hallway in my campus, but still, I can’t manage to remember it. Yea, yea, I’ll take the blame.

I also didn’t see him coming. We were ‘close’ in all of the sudden, even before I knew it. And the funny thing was when people asked me what was going between me and him, I didn’t even know who the hell he was--yet. I was all clueless.

If I’m not mistaken in recalling my memories, I was in the middle of such a… how to say this, a little bit complicated situation when he ‘came’. My previous relationship was freshly ended in a way far from the nicest one possible, leaving me with several things to clean up. That made me thinking I was so done with boys and their perspective about romantic relationship thereof I started to enjoy the liberty of my own company. I might sound pathetically hyperbolic, but for me, my own self is the best company ever. At least that time.

I wish I have clips showing how we get into each other in the first place on my memory, but–I’m saying this on behalf of my regret–I don’t. So I’ll skip the details about it and… poof, welcome to the we-became-close-then chapter.

I’m not good at describing, let alone impersonating people (it was his hobby instead!), so bear with me if the following descriptions are not helping you to picture him so much.

He is tall. I can say that I’m not the type of girl who judges people, moreover guy, based on their physical appearance--but height, for me, is one crucial aspect. I have a picture of us, taken when we attended a wedding party which coincidentally was on his 20th birthday, where I wore a pair of 5 cm wedges, and still, I was only as tall as his chin–shorty me. And other than his above-the-averages height, he has tan skin, messy hair, big nose, and coffee-colored narrow eyes. Like I said before, he is a little bit charming.

And oh, he has this ‘superpower’ when it comes to eating! I don’t know if the food portion he always has is normal in Grumpus–maybe because its high temperature–but here, on Earth, let alone if it’s compared to mine, his meal portion is enormous. He could wipe a full plate out all by himself and order another one afterwards, plus finishing mine. In some of the times we went for lunch or dinner together, we moved to another place after finish eating in the first one. The thing is, it’s like he is given the blessings to stay skinny despite the amount of food he consumes. I used to persevere that he has worms inside his intestines, but later I tried to accept that maybe it’s just his gift.

My favorite memory of him was happened years ago. I don’t know why this one is kept in the storage of fondest memories in my head because it was actually just a simple, super simple, occurrence.

I had my foot injured that time, because of a ‘little’ traffic accident. That day, I was going to buy some college stuffs (what was it, specifically, I don’t remember) to a place not too far from my campus. I remember it was Friday. We met before this alien went for Friday Prayer and I told him I was about to walk into that place after the Friday Prayer time. He asked me to wait until 4 pm-ish because he had a lab work schedule so he could accompany me after it’s done, but I said I’d still going before that just by myself.

I didn’t straightly go back after I got stuffs that I needed. I always love hardware stores and there’s one in that building, so I went stroll around it. After a while, I got a text from The Alien, asking whether or not I was still there. He said I should have waited him finishing his lab work instead of walking alone and that he was going to catch me up in 15 minutes.

He was really there in 15 minutes. He didn’t admit that he was picking me up. It was because he needed to buy things for himself too in the same place, he said. Maybe it was true, but I didn’t care. Tell me I was too ‘baperan’ (can’t find a proper English term for this), but I was moved.

I never tell anyone (including The Alien himself) this: we might already seem close or whatsoever before, but I didn’t feel the sparks or anything until that Friday noon. Good move, Al (for Alien). Good move.

Another day, we went to watch Fast and Furious 7 (by the time I write this, FF8 is one of the ‘now showing’ on theaters. Gosh, time flies). It was our first Saturday night ‘date’, if I’m not mistaken, yet we weren’t so lucky that the movie wasn’t being played anymore and the tickets for The Avenger–the only tempting movie on the schedule that day–are sold out.

We decided to just strolling around then, but the mall we visited was so crowded. I don’t know why, but I remember he said this; “Why do these people chose to hang out tonight when it is the only free Saturday night that we have among these busy times?”. I even remember the clothes he was wearing; yellowish green polo t-shirt and jeans. I myself wore my purple plaid shirt and grey pants which he commented about. “What kind of pants are you wearing?”, he said.

We ended up having a cup of bubble tea for me and two cups for him in a tea shop and blew out AAA balloons that I bought (don’t ask me why). He said, “In my regular circumstances, if I saw grown ups with no kids blowing up balloons in the place like this, I would definitely judge them”. We spent hours there with our teas and balloons, talking about so many things, having what they called ‘quality time’.

It was after a year, when we finally seriously talked about whatever-it-might-called that was going between us. It was Sunday afternoon, we went to an eatery downtown because the meatball stall we meant to headed (I meant to headed, actually. I’m not usually the one who makes the decision about where to eat but that time he insisted) was closed, and the rain was falling.

I didn’t see that coming, not even a bit, and out of the blue after we ordered the foods, he asked me, “Have I been bad all this time?”

“For what?” I asked back, clueless.

“People said I’ve been bad for not giving you any certainty about what’s going on between us. It’s been more than a year by now.”

I have a friend, a close one, whom I frequently told the stories about The Alien to. She said we were supposed to have an official relationship due to all the time we’ve spent together, and if he didn’t say a word about it without cease, maybe I should strike up the talk. The thing she doesn’t get is I don’t need that kind of bullshit anymore.

I was so done with romantic relationship, to be honest. I was so done that it became such a fear inside my head of having another one. My previous relationships didn’t work out (stating the obvious here, otherwise it wouldn’t mentioned as ‘previous’) just like I said up above, and I hate how it ended in terrible situation. I hate having someone other than my mom and dad excessively tells me what to do, whom to hang out with, blah blah blah. I hate how things could be so dramatic between me and my boyfriend.

I honestly have one bigger reason, but let’s just keep it private. My point is: I’m not digging in that kind of relationship.

And that’s how I answered him, “If by certainty you mean official relationship status, I don’t want any. I don’t need any.”

So we talked more about us for hours. Confessing things, to be precise. Let our feelings emerged to the surface.

It feels good, Al, to finally state that I… love you. Or, yea, whatever it is that I’m feeling for you. That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, Shakespeare once said.

He came to my house for the first time when we both stayed overnight in another campus of my campus (LOL, tell me if you get this) out of town for… how to say this–a business, and we need to get in town a little while. Him, because… well, I don’t remember, but me, because I need to drop my dad’s medicine receipt at home. And (actually this is the main reason) because I just had my friggin monthlies and there’s friggin blood on my friggin pants and I definitely need to change. Other girl could just cover it with their jacket or whatever, stay cool, and continue hitting the road, but I can’t. My insecurities always win.

So he drove me home while I whined along the highway because my period was playing mischievous that it made me feel like my belly was harshly squeezed. He calmed me down, asked “What should I do?” several times, and when he finally understood that nothing could be done even by The President of America when it comes to a girl’s period stomachache, he stopped asking, and held my hand.

The second (and the third, and also the fourth) time he came to my house was on my birthday and two days afterwards. He said he was proud of himself for managing to remember the route to my house and come back without me or even using Google Maps.

And the fifth was when I just went forth from hospital because of upper respiratory tract infection that I had earlier this year (I stay overnight in the hospital for a week). He visited me when I was still in the hospital, together with my other friends, but we didn’t communicate much because I was ‘busy’ talking with another friend. I feel bad, but the fact that he didn’t try to make me stop talking to that friend and start talking to him instead made me feel worse (pardon us but that’s just how a girl’s mind works; your effort matters). I told him then that I was slightly upset about it, but based of what I’ve learned about him for two years, I was kind of not expecting him come again, yet he did. But because I returned home already, he visited me at my house. He asked me what I wanted and I was joking by answered him I want seblak, but that really was what he brought me.

Another thing about The Alien is that he has the tendency to play Casper whenever he is busy. He could disappear for days when he has a lot of stuffs to do, even weeks. I’ve had enough of people saying ‘nobody is really busy, it just depends on what number you are on their priority list’ or ‘if they care, they will make time’ kind of words into my face, yet I always say those words are such a bullshit. Or maybe not, but we are not supposed to be selfish, are we? I mean, I admit that I want to be on his priority list (who doesn’t?), but I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t have a life either and demand him to keep contacting me in the middle of his tight schedule is stupidly childish. And although I honestly don’t know whether I really am on his priority list or not, he is, on mine. I couldn’t help him finish his assignments or solve his other problems no matter how I always want to, so giving him space is the least that I could do.

But I have to admit that it doesn’t mean I’ve never been bothered by that. No matter how perfect I act like I’m fine with that, deep down I actually hoping that I could be involved in whatever it is he is facing. I want to be there for him not only through his ups but also his downs because I honestly want him to be that way too. I always want to open up to him about whatever problem that I’m having, but it’s just unfair if I burden him with my things, whereas he never do that to me. Maybe that’s just the Grumpus people’s way of dealing with hard times, so I’ll deal with it.

There were weeks back then when he disappeared longer than ever before coincide with my own tough times. He was all that I need yet he wasn’t there. Sum up all the cries I regularly have in a year, my cries those weeks were more than that. I cried over the problems I was having and I also cried over him. I cried so hard in the headquarter of my student association. I cried when I was having lunch with my friends (if you happened to be Benhard Saut Tahi, don’t laugh on this). I cried on my way back home after classes. I cried before I went to bed. Suddenly I was a broken faucet.

I missed him and I wanted to tell him things, but I didn’t want to disturb him at the same time. Until when it was more than the longest time of his disappearance before, I thought I’ve lost him. Not to another girl (I was positive about this because I was pretty sure he wasn’t the cheater type), but still, it hurts.

I was so relieved that I had to hold down my tears of joy when he finally came back after almost a month. I didn’t even care that he didn’t say the ‘sorry’ word, I didn’t need that anyway. I needed him.

Talking about the ‘sorry’ word, there was an upturn. Not so long ago, he played the Casper game again, although this time was only for three days (or four, I don’t really remember). Then, we went for a movie, and he said, “I have something to tell you after this,”

I was so sleepy after three hours watching (the movie itself wasn’t boring but it was late night already) and started to whine about going home ASAP, so he said that he would tell me the thing later when I’m more ‘sober’, but anyone shouldn’t mess with me when my battery is only about 5% left. I insisted him to tell me right at the moment and boom, he apologized for his recent four-day Casper game.

The Alien also has the tendency to speak using high pitch to basically everyone. Not because he is angry, but simply because it’s the nature of Grumpus people. I’m okay with that most of the times (I’ve started to remind him that yelling is not a good way of talking to people on Earth just so nobody who doesn’t really know him wouldn’t get him wrong, though), but I got mad at him for that twice, probably because I was having the annoying pre-menstruation syndrome so my temper itself wasn’t really in a good state.

The first time was after we went someplace I already forgot by now nearly two years ago. We used my motorbike and he held the key thereafter, but he left it when he prayed. He said he would take it after he prayed, so I waited, yet it turned out that he asked me after finishing the prayer, loudly and with peevish face, “Why haven’t you take the keys?” as if it was me who said “I’ll take it later” when it was him who did, as if I was wrong for waiting him instead of taking the key. I was shocked and upset that I just stared at him for a second and left to take the key.

He recognized me being mad and chased me, but I didn’t stop walking. He came to where I angrily sat after a moment and apologized. It was a long ago yet I still remember his every words.

“Tir, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. You know it’s just the way I am.”

The second time was the other day. Two days before that, he drove our friend’s car (I was with him) and had a little accident which caused its front bumper detached. The only authorized service station for that car brand where damages to the car body can be fixed is located in a faraway part of the town, and he asked me to accompany him dropping the car off there.

We went back to our campus from the service station using public transportation and walked after the second car that we rode. I asked him, in normal tones, whether we need to take another ride or not, and out of my expectation, he yelled at me, saying it was obvious that we were not.

I stopped walking, taken aback because of his high pitch. I should have known that it’s just his Grumpus habit, but I was so exhausted after two hours in public transportation that I didn’t take it easy. He realized what has he done wrong faster that the previous one this time and immediately apologized, even sounded more regretful when I started crying. I didn’t mean to, but again, I was having period… so yea, that’s why.

He’s not a perfect person… or, well, alien. He has flaws, he made mistakes. But it was never perfection which made me fall for him since day one even until this very second. It was… him. Just like a part in Austin Mahone’s ‘All I Ever Need’;

When it comes to you Baby, I’m addicted You’re like a drug, no rehab can fix it I think you’re perfect, baby, even with your flaws You ask what I like about you Ooh, I love it all

I love everything about him. Well, maybe I just haven’t found the thing that I might dislike about him yet, but basically, yes, I love his every way of everything. I love the way he laughs, the way he walks, the way he eats. The way he tells some terrible jokes or makes some stupid gestures and stares at me afterwards, hoping that I notice him. The way he opens the folds of my sleeve every time I fold it up too high, saying that I shouldn’t do that. The way he touches the tip of my hijab for no reason. The way he impersonates people. The way he says my name.

I might always say that I’m so into guys who play guitar or do sport, guys with glasses, beard, long hair, firm chest. I might always say that I have such a big big crush into that local male singer whose name starts with A and ends with N, or another singer, actor, YouTuber… simply whoever I found cute. I might always say that my boy friends or even my ex are nice and charming, were the captain of the basketball team back in high school, or whatever.

But behind those all, the only guy I am looking into now… is him.

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