#eh when all else fails just make both of them my dumb little puppies <3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

harrowscore · 3 years ago

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Mikasa Ackermann, Levi Ackermann, Amane Misa, Aeron Greyjoy for the charactet ask :3

SOMEONE HEARD MY PRAYERS AND NOW MY TIME HAS COME, tysm!!!!! <3

okay, let's start with levi (my beloved):

hogwarts house: gryffindor (maybe....?) | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

ugh, the hp sorting house system is way too reductive. he has qualities of gryffindor, slytherin, and hufflepuff - brave, astute, loyal to a fault, etc. so it's a hard choice. but if i really have to choose, i'd go for gryffindor. i know that his Bad Boy facade shouts slytherin, but while he has larger goals (killing all the titans, then saving the world etc.), he's got no actual ambition for himself. hufflepuff would also be a good option.

daemon (from the his dark materials series): (because i've just decided that's just way more accurate than the hp method) some kind of big feline. maybe a panther - a black panther would be the ideal - aloof, predatory, dangerous, fiercely independent.

best quality: besides his obvious strenghts as a leader and warrior, the way he cares for his comrades-in-arms. it's very hard to gain his trust and respect, but once you have it, it's forever. he's pragmatic and ruthless, yes, but he also has a huge capacity for compassion and friendship. not that he would be effusive about his affections, of course.

worst quality: none, he's absolutely perfect ❤ jklsdfhjk jokes aside, he really struggles to open up (a serious understatement), idt he ever talked about his traumatic past with anyone. i mean, maybe he mentioned it to hange and erwin (erwin knew him when he was still an undergound thug, so...), but... he's not great with feelings. despite his apathetic, intimidating mask, he feels and cares deeply, but he has a long history with losing the people he loves, so he tries to not personally care about his squadmates, which can be both a strenght and a weakness. of course, he spectacularly fails at this.

ship them with: well, it's not a secret that i'm a huge rivamika fan, this ship is almost literally consuming my waking thoughts lmao. imo they're perfectly compatible: very similar personalities (stoic, the strongest warriors, absolutely terrifying on the battlefield but with a soft underbelly), very similar pasts/experiences, so many parallels that it's actually ridiculous, etc. i love how they're both each other's equals and likeness (yes, i took it from jane eyre. no, i don't regret anything lmao). a lot of tropes i love, too: Terrible First Impression (the Pride and Prejudice vibes are so strong with these two, you have no idea), Kindred Spirits/Mirror Images, Veteran/Young Prodigy, The Last of Their Kind, even Height Difference lmao. i could write a whole rivamika manifesto, but this is already too long. (maybe for some other time 👀) i would've loved for their dynamic to be more explored in canon but alas, isayama clearly didn't give a shit about the ackerman legacy, he just used it as a plot shortcut to give them conveniently unique powers, since they never really talked about it 🙄 (and before some troll comes into my askbox shouting "you iNcEsT fReAk!!!!1!!", they're only very distantly related. we know shit about the ackermans but we know for sure that they've got at least several generations between them. biologically their shared DNA is 0%, obviously they don't see each other as family, all the eldians have a dead ass common ancestor from 2000 years ago so they're all basically ⁓related anyway. if you really wanna scream about i.ncest, go watch got/dark/the borgias and shut the fuck up please. or alternatively go outside and touch some grass) sorry for the rant, uh. anyway, i can also see levi/erwin. idk if i'd ever care enough to read a fic about them (i'm usually a huge multishipper, but for some weird reason not when it comes to rivamika? same with braime and kastle tbh), but still, i can see it.

brotp them with: hange and erwin, obv. veteran trio >>> ema trio, sorry not sorry (at least h. and e. died before yams had the chance to ruin their character arcs)

needs to stay away from: ...uh, filth, i guess? lmao

misc. thoughts: besides the stupid teenage fangirl crush i have on him, i'm genuinely fascinated by the man himself. he's a huge mess of a contradictions, and yet somehow it works: he's violent and brash and kind of an asshole, but also has a strong moral code and integrity; he's obv very skilled at all the killing/torturing stuff and yet he has a huge respect for life; he's got a potty mouth to say the least, and yet some very aristocratic manners/tastes (the way he sits, his preference for tea and usually refined clothes); he comes from what's supposed to be an illustrous bloodline, he's methodical and very precise, and yet he was born and raised in the underground, he's been used to filth and blood and poverty since he was a child, kenny of all people was his father figure, and probably has known no other life than a perennial survival mode existence. he's "humanity's strongest soldier", but while well-built he's also small, the david to the titans' goliah, and probably not what people would assume a born warrior looks like. he's also one of the few characters who stayed true to himself and his original characterization until the end, bless you smol king ❤

(okay, this is getting long!)

mikasa:

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

this is actually easy: mikasa belongs to hufflepuff and no, i won't take criticism (just joking lol). enough with this "hufflepuffs are fluffy puppies/Cinnamon Rolls <3" thing: mikasa values loyalty and duty more than anything else. she's also hardworking... and fierce, strong, lethal. yes, hufflepuff and lethal are not mutually exclusive concepts.

daemon: (finally the better option) a she-wolf, fiercely protective of her pack.

best quality: loyal, brave, incredibly strong (alongside her more fragile qualities). practical and level-headed on the battlefield, at least when eren is not included in the picture.

worst quality: struggles to let go of the past (understandable, considering her trauma). tunnel-vision when it comes to eren, obv. extreme levels of delusions ("if only i spoke openly about my romantic feelings for him - as if i didn't made them abundantly clear in ⁓6 years - he wouldn't kill 80% of humanity :(((" lmao okay. just. okay), but that's more on the writing. she's sadly more static than any other main character throughtout the whole series.

ship them with: see above :) but recently i've also started to be intrigued by mikasa/annie and mikasa/sasha. also, i'm sympathetic to jeankasa fans, though i don't actually care for the ship.

brotp them with: EMA trio, especially armin+mikasa. their friendship is so beautiful and special. also sasha.

needs to stay away from: ...... eren, at least romantically. again, that's more on the writing than anything else, but e.remika unfortunately encompasses many tropes i loathe with all the strength of my old shriveled heart: childhood friends-to lovers where the (male) childhood friend doesn't acknolewdge/is completely indifferent to the other (female) friend's romantic feelings, she hopelessly pines for him for years without anything more than a cold shoulder... until in the last chapter it's revealed that he loved her all along and doesn't "want other men to have her!!! :((" (then why did you have no reaction whatsoever to jean's years-long crush on her while she was jealous of any vaguely female-shaped human being you were friendly to, including hange? are you that dumb, man?); the female character's development and entire arc 100% revolves around the male protagonist - she has no goals, no dreams of her own except staying with him forever and ever; the romance is based on an idealized childhood dream, therefore reaffirming those childish illusions would make the character regress, not actually grow up (and nope, epilogue!jk doesn’t count; that also lacks build-up - i would’ve said the same about rm as well, so it’s not about shipping, guys, it really isn’t - and mikasa needed an inner change; getting married to another man but still praying to eren’s shrine is not substitute to actual development lol). post-time skip she's never really frustrated/angry with him, they never get a confrontation about him becoming a, y'know, mass-murderer of gigantic (pun intended) proportions; she puts him on a pedestal, and never stops idealizing him/never sees him for what he actually is (the narrative framing him as some kind of tragic martyr/saint eren from paradis with zero agency and basically... no clear motivation for the abovementioned mass murder, and not the actual complex tragic anti-hero/villain motivated by revenge and righteous fury he deserved to be, does not help). it lacks a good or even decent build-up - it's basically all tell and not show. now, if they'd actually been childhood friends to enemies to lovers/mutually co-dependent... it could have been interesting. sadly, it's not my cup of tea. of course this is just my personal preference, no hard feelings to the shippers.

misc. thoughts: enormous potential. she's been my fav female character since s1 - and ah, i miss s1!mikasa, when she had actually other stuff to do besides mothering eren. i love that she's the strongest warrior (second only to levi, obv), that her skills are never called into questions despite her gender, i love how she stands up for herself and the people she loves, that she may seem cold and stoic and yet has a such a huge heart, that she's not perfect but also sometimes awe-inspiring. sadly, she never really gets out of eren's shadow; what she lacks is an arc focused on herself. that's why imo getting deeper into the ackerman lore would've helped (also, you cannot make the main female character and the most popular male character descend from the same Unique Bloodline or whatever, and never really make them acknowledge it out loud; as a writer, you just can't lol). my spite is so strong that i'm currently writing a ridiculously pretentious fic that's 70% development for her character, to give her a voice, and 30% ackerthirsting. (yes, that's the fic i'm always vagueblogging about lmao, rip @ my brain). if any other rivamika fan is interested… mind you, it’s in italian tho, and idt i have the skills to translate into english.

misa:

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

daemon: mmh, maybe some kind of butterfly? beautiful, colorful, and short-lived.

best quality: glorious fashion sense, more inventive and ingenious than fans actually give her credit for.

worst quality: shallow, impulsive, and obv her dependence on/obsession with light (which stems from trauma btw, but still… the very opposite of a relationship between equals).

ship them with: rem, kinda (monster/human ftw!). also weirdly enough mogi, a little bit? she deserves someone who actually respects her… though she’s far from being a perfect angel. she may actually be crazier than light on some aspects. but in this house we stan evil ladies anyway, so i have no problem with that <3

brotp them with: uh, idk, maybe matsuda?

needs to stay away from: obv light. also takada.

misc. thoughts: a tragic victim of sexist writing. she may be… unhinged to say the least, but she didn’t deserve the abuse she got from light (and from the fans). the female characters’ writing in dn is so bad that idk if it’s on purpose, to kinda mirror the reality of women in a patriarchal society (dependent on men, housewives whose life entirely revolves around their husband/boyfriend etc.), or just casual misogyny lol. it’s even more baffling since we don’t know the author’s gender (they may be a man, a woman, nb, anything really). i tend for the latter option tho.

aegon greyjoy (now, i wasn’t expecting him lol):

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

i’m so sorry, i haven’t the slightest idea lmao. maybe gryffindor? mind you, it’s been a long time since i’ve re-read the books, so i don’t have many thoughts about him.

daemon: maybe it’s cliché, but some kind of fish/squid lmao

best quality: ugh, i really can’t remember much from his chapters :(( he’s not a coward, i guess? (lame answer, sorry!)

worst quality: definitely his religious fanaticism.

ship them with: no one.

brotp them with: uh… his family, ig? except euron.

needs to stay away from: obv euron. brr ://

misc. thoughts: i genuinely like the greyjoys chapters, though i vastly prefer the martells (with the exception of theon and asha, bcs i love them). yes, they’re deranged. yes, victarion is… well, victarion lol. but the drowned god religion is actually interesting, grrm knows how to write trauma - every time aeron mentions euron and that freaking door i’m like… :// - and the tragedy of it all… just great writing all around.

okay, that’s the end lmao. thank you so much, love!!! ❤❤

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #asks #cafeleningrad #if *anyone* dares to start stupid wank on my super niche blog they'll be blocked on sight i'm warning you #snk salt

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valkerymillenia · 4 years ago

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Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 4

New episode, new post!

This was the other post I had written out that got accidently deleted so I'm writing it all again.

1993? And Lila was 4? TOO MUCH COINCIDENCE! I still stand by my theory that Lila is one of the 43.

Yes, she has a father but that could just be her mother's husband. It's just too coincidental that the show would make her exactly the same age as the Hargreeves for no reason.

Ah the red heels. Hi Handler. These heels are really pretty though, very wicked witch with the ruby slippers. Even that outfit kind of screams wicked witch meets Cruella de Vil 😏

Kill parents, adopt child. Interesting MO, Handler. Like an evil Bruce Wayne (does this make Handler Owlman? I know, I'm not funny).

Oh, Handler pulling a Reginald with Lila!

Except, you know, she actually gives Lila positive reinforcement and affection, unlike Reggie. But her training seems just as brutal and inhumane for a child (and possibly even more violent) as Reginald's...

It's curious and interesting, a nice foil. Handler succeeds where Reggie fails- creating a loyal and effective soldier will into adulthood- because she was willing to give the kid affection and compassion. Reggie saw himself as some sort of hero creating heros but he failed at the most basic and human thing that even the villain understood.

-The filmography in these training scenes is brilliant.

-Ah, that prom look is the same as half of my classmates when we graduated 🤣 down to the blue makeup.

I'm guessing Lila's "prom"/"graduation" was her first solo assassination?

Wait, Handler wants to protect Five...? What the hell is she up to now?

Talking about killing people like it's a fun hobby 🤨

Oh, so the Swedes are triplets? I suspected but I like the confirmation.

Oh, Handler is lying ~~~~ 🎶

She's definitely following her own agenda here and she's leading Lila into danger. The question is if she's going to undermine the Commission for revenge of if she wants to prove her ability to get promoted back into administrative ranks of the Commission.

Either way, this will not end well for Five.

Lila is going to end up having to choose between Diego and Handler, isn't she?

Five stays in the car to give Luther space... No matter what Five says he actually cares about his siblings' feelings, doesn't he? He's the most overprotective of them all and always has been. It's sweet.

Ah, Luther and Vanya bonding over Five being an asshole. ☺️

"very warm and cuddly father" 🤣

Of course Vanya figured out Five was sparing her feelings, because she's not dumb

Oh, thank you for the honesty, Luther! Gotta love that.

I'm actually really happy to see Luther owning up to his mistakes instead of trying to act like the flawless leader. I think he grew a lot after accepting that Reginald wasnt perfect and I'm glad to see that growth still happening as he learns how to be an independent person. I just hope his guilt doesn't turn into even more self-hatred.

"you had kind of a bad childhood" -understatement of the century, Luther!

Luther, you have pissed off the mobster, you moron. You're on big trouble now.

Dramatic wall punch! 🙄

"when you get angry shit blows up" 😂😂😂

"you're our sister and a member of the umbrella academy" - oh, now you want to include her? The irony of this is that it's the one thing Vanya wanted for the first 29 years of her life and if anyone had said it then, the apocalypse would probably have never happened.

🖕🙊🖕

"I wonder if it's too late to be un-adopted" -ah, you know you love them, Five

Honestly, Allison actually keeps her cool really well, if I went through that phone call I would have broken something.

Why the hell does Klaus want menudo first thing in the morning?? Ew...

Klaus butchering "the frog and the scorpion"... You were doing so well but ended up completely missing the point of that story, dummy.

Diego's stab wound is healing really quickly...

Wait, he's healing quickly and Allison doesn't have a neck scar... Plus Klaus is immortal... Hmm, I wonder if quick healing is an ability they all share? Though that would put Diego's scars (and maybe Ben's death) into perspective...

Does Diego wax his chest? Those pecs are real smooth for someone who spent over two months in a 60s mental institution. 😆

"we've all had the urge" 😂 and Diego's sarcastic laugh 🤣

Who's the 12th of the Magestic 12? Oh, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE??? Maybe a certain monocled asshole?

"Mamie pink" is Klaus's new nickname, I don't make the rules.

Klaus, you are freaking the boy out with all this new information...

Oh no, the homophobia 😡😡😡

You know what's more heartbreaking about this homophobic disaster? Dave is likely in the closet and this whole situation here and the hate his uncle is showing must be so painful to him, it would probably bury him even deeper in the closet...

Klaus... The punch... Oh, baby... 😢 Oh no, I'm going to cry 😭😭😭

Is Raymond really implying that Allison is a spy? Damn...

Just tell him the truth, Allison! How do you marry a person without telling them something so big about yourself??

Oh, so Klaus has been sober for 3 years... Interesting.

No, Klaus! Don't start self-destructing again! 😢😢😢

It must be so painful for Ben to watch this and not be able to stop it...

Oh shoot, the cult found him.

"prophet"? "holy wanderer"? Interesting.

Poor Klaus just wants peace.

They seriously couldn't get a suit for Five too? Is he not allowed to wear anything else?

Five is onto Lila 🎶

Luther, are you stress eating? Well, at least you're not going on a bender again.

Awww, Luther- Allison reunion. Cute. Please don't make it weird.

Oh God, the awkward small talk is back 😩

I'm glad Luther is being so mature about this. I like this dynamic better.

"Vanya is on a farm. And happy" and Allison finds the happy part weird. Diego in the "nuthouse" and Allison doesn't find that weird at all, even does that 'yeah, ok makes sense' face. Klaus "cult leader" and Luther isn't surprised at all, that little "eh" was so funny.

Lord, this family is mess.

"Doomsday" *awkward chuckle* -you guys are getting way too used to this.

"Diego, try not to do anything too stupid" 😆 ah, brothers.

Lila in red heels, like mommy... 😏

Reggie taught them ballroom dancing? And Handler had the same idea?

Um.... Ok, so new theories! Do Handler and Reginald know each other? Could Reginald have been in the Commission? I'm going to be thinking about this for a while...

Just let the girl lead, Diego. Stop being a little bitch.

GRACE?!

So mom!Grace is either a cyborg or she was modeled after this woman... Makes curious about Reggie's relationship with this lady.

Diego going through the universal horror every kid goes through when realizing that mommy and daddy are "together". 🤣🤣🤣 "I can't picture it on my head. That's nasty"

She didn't tell him her name was Grace but apparently it is.

Am I the only one getting weird desperate and co-dependant vibes from Sissy?

Oh no! Save the baby!

Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! Vanya's powers are incredible! The special effects in this scene are unbelievable!

Save the child!

How did his lips get blue so quickly?

THE RETURN OF THE MAGIC ALIEN LIGHTS! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ok, I need to pause to gather my thoughts... Ok, things I hope don't happen-please don't magically "fix" the disabled boy, and please don't make the powers transferrable (that's just lazy writing, don't rehash "Misfits").

However, other than that I'm just very curious what those lights will do to Harlan. Will they just save his life? Will he gain powers? Will he have some weird connection to Vanya now? I'm dying to find out!

Anyway, back to the ep.

Baby boy is ok!

Luther, did you think pissing off the mobster would end well?

Elliot just starting up at Luther in awe and visibly fighting not to poke him. 😆

HELL NO, LUTHER! NO DRUGS! DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME?? YOU GOT YOUR BROTHER KILLED!

Oh, Sissy... Poor woman.

There going to kiss, aren't they?

Melancholic music kicking in. Sad emotional talk. Sitting way too close. Yeah, they're going to kiss.

Aaaaaand there's the kiss! ☺️

But now I need to pause and digress again...

Yeah, Sissy's feelings for Vanya are not healthy at all. In fact they mirror Vanya's feelings for Leonard- she's unhappy with her life and clinging to the first person that gives her attention. She wants help, she wants to be rescued, she's touch and attention starved. She's co-dependant and emotionally manipulative.

I'm not saying Sissy is a bad person, she's not, she's a sad person stuck in an unhappy marriage, terrified of being abandoned (almost paranoid) and exhausted under a lot of pressure dealing with a disabled child. And then in comes Vanya, who is perfect with Harlan, so loving and kind and has nothing else to pour all her attention towards. Of course Sissy sees salvation in Vanya and is desperate to keep her.

I'm not saying Vanya and Sissy can't have a beautiful healthy relationship, they can, but not like this. Sissy is clinging too tight and using Vanya to make herself feel better and make her life easier. They both deserve better than that and I hope they get it.

I'm starting to think that all relationships in this season might be doomed to fail:

-Sissy and Vanya have a co-dependant and emotionally unhealthy infatuation and Sissy is married to a man that, while not great, still clearly loves her;

-Raymond and Allison have too many secrets between them that are causing a major rift, they can fix it but there's also the chance that Ray might not be able to accept the truth about her;

-Lila is a double agent using Diego to get close to Five, she seems to be developing feelings but the fact that she's lying about who she is and working for Handler is obviously toxic;

-Klaus is pining over a person that Dave has not yet become and while he only wants to save Dave's life, it's obvious there's too big an experience and culture gap between them for a relationship to flourish;

-Luther and Allison have become one-sided and less innocent and puppy-love than before, now it really is just creepy and unhealthy (whereas before it was understandable because they grew up together under an emotionally unavailable father and isolated from the real world, naturally they became attached and confused their feelings, their attachment wasn't healthy but it was justified and almost innocent... Not anymore though);

-we have no concrete proof yet, but it seems Ben MIGHT be pining over a girl that might not even see him, he's dead, it might be an interesting dynamic storywise, but it's not going to happen, it's unhealthy and unfair;

Some of these couples might still survive and become great, it's still really in the season after all, but they have a lot of growing to do before they get there.

Anyway.... Back to the episode.

Oh Klaus... Off the wagon...

Allison being a good sister and taking care of her brother. My heart ❤️

Luther, you idiot... Well, at least you're getting high in a safe environment.

Luther and Klaus are self-destructing, my poor boys.

"you are super weird" - Luther, you have no zero right to call anyone weird, have you looked in the mirror??

"the woman I love loves someone else" -the woman you love is. your. SISTER!

I really like poor Elliot, I hope nothing bad happens to him.

Jesus, that's creepy, Luther.

Didn't I say Reginald was the 12th? 😏

Roswell? Reggie probably has a vested interest in that.

Blink out of there, Five.

I love that Five's main move is always 'teleport onto their backs and go for the throat'.

Wait, why did Five's teleportation glitch???

The music!!!!

Wait, did Diego's aim just glitch too???

Could these power glitches be connected to Vanya's magic lights going into Harlan? Or could it be something about the Swedes? Or about Reginald's presence, seeing as he dodged Diego's power before? Hmm...

Oooh, Lila has to choose between Diego and her mission already? Interesting... Of course she chooses to save Five.

Badass Lila is amazing!

So she could have helped Diego after helping Five but instead she just walks away? Huh, unexpected.

Diego, you adrenaline junkie. Good moves though.

The ancient Greek is a surprise! I really want to know what Five said to Reginald!!! What did he say? I need to know!!!

Another great chapter!! Very emotional too!

I want more!!!

#tua #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers #reactions #live blogging #theories #spoilers

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seriestrash · 7 years ago

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You Me Her

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 ||

Chapter Fifteen: Riley’s Play

Word Count: 8707

↠ ♥ ↞

Tuesday, the day after the drama club’s afternoon tea, Riley and Caitlin click publish on their final edition of the schools newspaper. A very bittersweet moment shared amongst friends.

The two girls embrace tightly. Once they part Riley wipes a stray tear from her cheek.

“Don’t cry you sap.” Caitlin chuckles nervously.

“Does this mean you go back to not liking me now?” Riley jokes but there’s still a sadness inside her over something ending.

“You know I couldn’t quit you if I tried.” Caitlin rolls her eyes and Riley laughs softly.

“Are you girls ready?” Harper, Caitlin’s girlfriend, pokes her head around the door. A smile present on her face.

“Yes.” Caitlin sends Harper a smile and turns back to Riley, “Are you ready to pretend like we don’t know they’re throwing us some sort of thing at the bakery?”

Riley can’t help but laugh. “Got to love Noah.”

The three girls make their way to the bakery. Riley over dramatises her humbled reaction to Noah and Kai organising a celebration for the end of their run in charge of the newspaper.

“He told you didn’t he?” Kai sighs.

“Yep.” Caitlin pats his shoulder and passes by to grab herself something to eat.

“Sorry.” Noah shrugs.

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you.” Kai shakes his head. The two aren't annoyed at each other as such but there is definitely something off between them.

“This is so special,” Riley interjects with some positivity, “Thank you.”

“You are most certainly welcome.” Kai gives her a sweet smile although Riley can feel some pain behind his eyes.

Roughly twenty minutes into the relaxed celebration Riley is sitting with her friends in one of the booths. With her back to the door Riley's unaware at a few new guests whom enter, that is until Caitlin throws her hand up and calls out across the room, “Eh, Smack! Over here.”

Riley’s head snaps around and she spots a sheepish looking Smackle standing with Farkle and Lucas. Riley turns her head back towards Caitlin with a quizzical look upon her face.

“She helped us get the paper up and running.” Caitlin whispers. “I didn’t think you’d mind.” Truth be told Caitlin did take quite the liking to the blunt genius but once Smackle pulled out of the paper they didn’t chat too much but part of that comes from Caitlin’s ‘in and out’ of your life nature.

“I don’t. You just didn’t tell me.” Riley shrugs it off.

The conversation hushes as Smackle approaches the table. The girl in glasses gives everyone an awkward greeting. Riley subtly turns her head back after noticing Smackle came to the table alone. She meets Lucas’ gaze, he’s sitting in their gangs old spot with Farkle by his side. The Texan gives her a small smile before returning to his conversation with Farkle.

“Aren’t you going to make some room?” Riley laughs looking over at Caitlin on the opposite side of the booth.

“Right.” She laughs too sliding in closer to Harper, freeing up space for Smackle in the process.

Kai didn’t have too many positive feelings towards Riley’s old friend group, even if he didn’t have specific reasons not to, he just relates a great deal of negativity with them because of how upset Riley has been over the years with how everything worked out. Although his annoyance has died down a little over the past month, Lucas is the only one that gets an outwardly irritated reaction from Kai. The drama enthusiast is quite polite when it comes to Smackle, truthfully she was actually Kai’s favourite amongst the other five, not that he rated many of them at all but Smackle seemed to be the one that tried the most with Riley which Kai respected a great deal.

“Farkle doesn’t have to wait over there.” Riley says awkwardly.

“I posit he’ll join us soon.” Smackle says but Riley and her both don't believe it to be true.

Conversation flows between them, Caitlin retells a few funny stories from when the paper first started. There’s a sweet nostalgia building in Riley’s chest and she feels saddened that it’s all over. The energy from both Noah and Kai seems less than usual. Instead of making a public spectacle Riley just quietly observes rather than draw anyone else's attention to it.

Caitlin leaves first, not out of character at all for her to leave a celebration in her honour before anyone else. Harper hangs around for a little while longer before she leaves and Noah tags along. Kai walks Noah out and then Riley is left with Smackle.

An awkward lull passes but then Smackle speaks up, shocking Riley in the process. “We all really miss you bubbles. I really miss you.”

Riley is unsure what to say at first but then she decides to go with the truth, “I really miss you all too.”

“Mind if we join?” Lucas’ voice drifts over. Riley turns to see him approaching with Farkle looking just as sheepish as Smackle did when she first came over.

“Of course not.” Riley smiles.

“We shouldn’t stay much longer.” Farkle says quietly and directly to Isadora.

Lucas sits beside Riley and Farkle joins Smackle on the other side. Kai enters again, his mood clearly off as he sits beside Lucas with no hint of irritation present. This even sparks Lucas as odd behaviour as he gives Riley a questioning look.

Quiet falls upon the group. Riley tries to make things less tense with casual conversation but her attempts fall short.

“It’s getting late, maybe we should get going?” Farkle says already standing up.

“It’s not that late.” Smackle states but still follows Farkle’s lead.

Farkle mumbles some sort of a response but the conversation clearly continues as it works Farkle up enough for Riley to catch the end of it when the couple are on the other side of the room.

“Smackle, she told us she didn’t want to be friends anymore.” Farkle raises his voice. “She didn’t even tell us, she told Maya and then ignored us.”

Riley find his eyes, another wounded puppy look is shared, this time on Riley’s face too and with that the geniuses exit.

“Whoa.” Kai frowns as he moves himself over to the opposite side of the table.

“Is that what they all think of me?” Riley wears a weak smile as she asks Lucas.

“No. Riley, no.” Lucas shakes his head but fails to give some sort of alternative.

“I guess it probably does feel like that for everyone.” Riley shrugs a shoulder.

“Yeah but does anyone stop to think what it felt like for you?” Kai scoffs.

“Kai, we don’t need to go into this.” Riley shakes her head.

Another silence.

“You didn’t tell me you were stepping down from the paper.” Lucas says trying to pick up the mood.

“I’m sorry I had no idea we told each other everything.” Riley jokes lightly but she's not really in much of a cheery mood anymore.

“You told me about the play you wrote.” Lucas coaxes his head victoriously.

“The what?” Kai’s interest peaks.

“Lucas.” Riley scolds. “I told you that as a secret.”

“Sorry.” Lucas frowns. It just slipped out in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“So you’re keeping secrets from me now?” Kai folds his arms.

“Kai, don’t be like that.” Riley frowns.

“It’s fine.” Kai shrugs, clearly upset.

"I think I should let you two talk.” Lucas says standing up. “I’m really sorry, Riley.” Lucas says genuinely before parting.

“Please don’t be mad at me, I only told him yesterday.” Riley says to Kai once they’re alone.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Kai questions.

“Probably not.” Riley admits. “But only because it’s not a big deal!”

“Not a big deal?” Kai scoffs. “You wrote a play!”

“Shh.” Riley hushes him not wanting anyone else to overhear.

“Will you let me read it?” Kai asks.

“No.” Riley shakes her head quickly. “It’s too personal.”

“But I’m your best friend.” Kai pouts. “Please, please, please?”

“No. Never.” Riley shakes her head. “Enough about my stupid play. I want to know how you are?”

“What do you mean?” Kai plays dumb but his mood evidently drops as soon as Riley broaches the subject.

“You and Noah both seemed quiet this afternoon.” Riley says lightly. “Did he accept Notre Dame’s offer?”

“Yeah I went with him to mail his enrolment package on the way here.” Kai nods sadly.

“How long until he leaves?” Riley questions.

“Little over a month.” Kai answers.

“You wanted him to accept it, didn’t you?” Riley asks.

“Yes of course.” Kai says quickly. “It’s just that he’s probably not going to be able to make it back for prom or our grad ceremony.. Three months is a long time- What if Noah meets some cute math whizz and forgets about me.”

“Forget Kai Olsen?” Riley raises a brow. “Impossible.”

“I’m being serious.” Kai pouts.

“So am I!” Riley stresses. “So it’s three months- Then you have four years together and then the whole rest of your lives after that!”

“I haven’t heard back from Notre Dame or any of the surrounding schools yet.” Kai says.

“You’re going to get in!” Riley exclaims.

“How do you know?” Kai folds his arms like huffy child.

“Because you’re Kai.” Riley smirks.

“That’s only cute when Noah and I say it about you.” Kai breaks his sulking with a smile.

“Yeah well I’m not trying to be cute.” Riley smiles.

“Maybe I’d feel better if my best friend trusted me enough to read her play.” Kai sighs heavily.

“That’s not going to work.” Riley pokes her friend.

“Sorry for being interested in my best friends life.” Kai pretends to be offended.

“Fine, you can read it.” Riley rolls her eyes knowing he will never give up. Also, there was a small part of her longing to share it with him, despite how embarrassed and nervous it made her feel.

The very next morning Riley grows nervous as she approaches Kai in the hall at school. He's walking towards her with with a look of awe.

“Amazing.” Is the first thing Kai says once they meet by the hole. “Ah-mazing!” Kai waves the papers in his hand.

“Stop.” Riley looks around embarrassed.

“I actually cried.” Kai says. “Legitimate tears streamed down my face once I finished.”

“You’re just saying that.” Riley rejects the praise.

“Hear me when I say: pure genius.” Kai continues, “Ri, this is beautiful. Powerful!”

“Okay that’s a little much.” Riley giggles nervously.

“No. Not at all.” Kai says. “Is this how you felt-feel?”

“It comes from the heart.” Riley nods sheepishly admitting that the play is indeed personal to her. “Can I have it back now?”

“Sorry no.” Kai pulls it close to his chest. “I called Noah last night to talk about it and he wants to read through it before class.”

“Kai!” Riley pouts.

“Love you!” He’s already walking backwards steps back down the hall. As Kai spins around he knocks into Lucas. Uncharacteristically he laughs it off and pats the Texan on his shoulder. “Genius.” Is all he says before continuing on his way.

“Well that was weird.” Lucas laughs as he approaches Riley.

“You’re telling me.” Riley laughs too.

“Was that your play he was talking about?” Lucas pokes his thumb back.

“He’s exaggerating his reaction of course.” Riley swats the air dismissively.

“Can I read it next?” Lucas asks.

“No.” Riley laughs. “Kai has best friend rights, after he shows Noah I’m probably going to burn it.”

Lucas knows she’s only being dramatic but he still gives Riley a frowned expression. “I have something for you.”

“What?” Riley is nervous as she watched Lucas fiddle in his backpack.

“Here.” Lucas hands Riley two frames.

Subconsciously Riley looks around her feeling anxious about the situation. Riley looks at the first frames contents a small smile crosses her face once she realises what it is. Riley then inspects the second one and her grin grows.

“Lucas.” Riley coaxes her head and points her smile towards him.

“I just wanted to give you something to show how far you've come.” Lucas points at the frame. “You did this.”

Riley smiles at the gift once more. One frame contains a print of her very first front page of the newspaper and the second is a copy of the last cover she posted just the day before.

"You have to stop doing things like this.” Riley says but her smile doesn’t falter.

“Just being friendly.” Lucas shrugs with a grin of his own.

“Stop.” Riley says trying to control her smile.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Lucas shrugs again and he starts to walk backwards. He still smiles as he turns around to continue walking.

“Lucas!” Riley calls out and he stops and turns back around. “Thank you.” Riley adds as she taps the frame in her hand. Lucas gives her a simple nod and continues on his way.

Just before final bell Riley receives a notice that Ms. Mitchell wants to see her after class. Once she packs up her things Riley makes her way to the auditorium where her drama teachers office resides.

Unsure as to why she’s been called into her office, Riley has an anxious feeling bubbling in her chest. Riley knocks on the door and is invited in. She’s surprised to find Kai and CJ both standing in front of Ms. Mitchell’s desk.

“Please take a seat.” Ms. Mitchell waves her hand. Riley cautiously sits in the seat Kai hovers by. A bad feeling sitting in the pit of her stomach as she has a sneaking suspicion as to what’s about to transpire. She gives Kai a mild scold already anticipating his involvement in this all. He’s purposely avoiding eye contact. It’s just CJ’s presence that confuses Riley about this meeting.

“During my lunch period today I read over your stage play.” The teachers says and confirms Riley’s worrying suspicion. “And it was absolutely marvellous, having anxiety be a sentient form gives a very interesting depth to the protagonist.” Ms. Mitchell says.

“That’s exactly how I felt!” Kai cuts in with his own praise and CJ shares of soft chuckle.

“Now if you wanted to present this to the drama club for a vote on whether or not we bring it to life for the production in April-”

“What?” Riley cuts in shaking her head crazily. ”No. No, no. No!”

“Riley, just hear her out.” Kai pleas.

“I never meant for this to be read by anyone, let alone run it for the entire school to see!” Riley shifts awkwardly in her seat.

“Is this the first stage play you’ve ever written?” The eccentric woman questions. Riley gives her a slight nod but doesn’t speak. Ms. Mitchell continues, “Of course the choice is yours, Miss Matthews. No one is forcing you to present the play but in the same note I do think this would be a spectacular finishing note for your work here in the drama club. Not to mention the sheer talent you’ve shown in a piece written by a beginner. If you later choose to pursue this as career option I say bringing this play to life under the schools funding would be a wise move.”

“A career?” Riley laughs nervously.

Ms. Mitchell can see just how blindsided Riley is by this all and how overwhelmed the teen is so she tries to wrap it up for the sake of Riley. “Again I say the choice is yours, dear. Our next drama club meeting is at the end of this month [February] until then I’ve asked CJ if he’d assist you with preparing some musical queues, transition pieces etc. to help the play flow. Kai has already offered to work alongside you in preparing a short demonstration piece for the rest of the club so they can have a real image of your play when we put it to a vote.”

“Oh how generous of him.” Riley gives a mild side glare to her best friend whom shrugs innocently earning another light chuckle from an otherwise quiet CJ.

The meeting wraps up and the three teens all exit Ms. Mitchell’s office together.

“I look forward to reading your play if you choose to go through with this.” CJ says. “I’m happy to work during our lunch period or after school, whatever suits you really.”

“Thank you but I’m not sure I’ll be going through with this.” Riley half smiles.

“I know Ms. Mitchell can be a little nutty sometimes but she had a good point in there,” CJ pauses to laugh softly, “If you do decide that maybe this is something you could do as a career, having the school fund this play is a great opportunity.”

“I will keep that in mind.” Riley nods.

“You know where to find me if you decide.” CJ winks and parts ways with the other two.

Kai just giggles nervously once he’s alone with Riley. “Surprise...” He begins walking.

“It was a surprise all right.” Riley gives him a look and moves quickly to catch up to him. “Kai, I wrote this play to help myself understand what I went through and to further help me overcome the anxiety I was suffering with. This play was extremely personal and therapeutic for me.”

“I know.” Kai says genuinely. “But it’s a story of anxiety not your exact story. That’s why I thought it would be alright.... It’s just that this play is so real and relatable for teenagers - for adults even- You have the chance to help reach students going through similar things to you.”

“What if people find out about-”

“Mental health is nothing to be ashamed about.” Kai says matter of factly.

“I know that.” Riley is slightly offended that he’d even imply that she thought otherwise.

“I totally get that what you went through was private.” Kai softens noticing her offence. “And I know I can be pushy sometimes but I feel like it’s my job.”

“Sorry being my best friend is such a chore.” Riley scoffs.

“Ri,” Kai grabs her by the shoulders gently but firmly holds her gaze, “I push because I believe in you. One of these days you're going to wake up and see in yourself what everybody else around you does, but until then I will happily keep reminding you.”

Riley smiles at his sweet declaration but still has a great deal of anxiety towards agreeing. “I’m just not sure.”

“You have the whole month to think about it-” Kai says. “At least just think it over tonight?”

“Okay.” Riley wears a small smile as she nods.

The pair coincidentally are approaching Lucas’ locker as the Texan shoves books into his backpack. He sends Riley a small smile not planning on reaching out to her with Kai present.

Kai’s fiddling with his phone after receiving a text from Noah when he notices Riley give Lucas a small wave. Much to everyones surprise Kai is the one to stop.

“Maybe Captain America here will have better luck convincing you.” Kai jokes and it shocks Riley that there doesn’t even seem to be a hint of malice in his remark - other than the nickname of course.

“Convincing her of what?” Lucas asks taking any opportunity to try win over Kai, even a little bit would help him out.

“That she should present her play for the April production.” Kai says.

“Kai?” Riley is surprised he’s sharing this with Lucas.

Kai shrugs. “You already told Lucas about the play so I’m just keeping him in the loop.”

“Yeah thanks a lot.” Riley says sarcastically.

“I have to meet Noah but i’ll swing by the bakery, you’re working tonight?” Kai is already taking a few steps towards his exit point.

“Yeah, see you there?” Riley is still confused by his flipped mood but doesn’t question it aloud.

Riley turns her sheepish smile to Lucas unsure of what to say. He seems just as confused as Riley. “Uh, I’ll walk you out?” Lucas motions down the hall. Riley nods and the two begin their strides.

“Captain America, that’s a new one.” Lucas chuckles as they walk. “Kai has been… nicer… to me lately, hasn't he?” Lucas laughs. “I’m not imagining it?”

“Kai has been… distracted.” Riley sways her head from side to side.

“With Noah leaving an all?” Lucas questions.

“You heard about that?” Riley raises a brow.

“We may be on different teams but we share the same Varsity status.” Lucas playfully nudges Riley’s arm.

“I had no idea I was in the presence of royalty.” Riley joke curtseys.

“It sounds like I should be the impressed one. Shakespeare’s reincarnation walks amongst us.” Lucas chuckles.

“Over exaggeration of the year.” Riley scoffs.

“So they want to run your play?” Lucas questions.

“Ms. Mitchell thinks it has the potential,” Riley corrects him in a dismiss way, “It would still have to be voted on by the drama club.” Riley giggles nervously.

“They’re going to vote for it.” Lucas says confidently.

“You haven’t even read it, how could you possibly know?” Riley laughs.

“Because I believe in you.” Lucas states.

“Blind belief.” Riley purses her lips. “That can sometimes get you into trouble.”

“Hey, you believe in everyone and everything.” Lucas gives her a knowing look. “You have to save some of that belief for yourself sometimes.”

“You know if Kai didn’t dislike you so much I think you two would get along really well.”

“Oh yeah and why’s that?” Lucas asks.

“Because you both care about me.” Riley says bashfully.

Lucas can’t hide his growing smile but Riley has to set him straight before he gets his hopes up.

“This doesn’t change anything.” Riley waves her index finger. “I can acknowledge the fact that your care for me seems genuine. That doesn’t mean anything has changed about how I feel.”

“Nothing has changed?” Lucas asks still smiling. “You still don’t even consider us to be friends, not even a little?”

“Maybe a little-” Riley holds her hand up to stop him from interrupting. “But only a little. You still don’t get to read my play.”

“Well I look forward to seeing it open night.” Lucas grins.

“Bye, Lucas.” Riley says not entering into further conversation about her play.

“Bye, friend.” Lucas chuckles and Riley just shakes her head as she walks away.

The following morning Riley wakes to her alarm with sun spilling through her windows and a newfound positivity that set in overnight. The brunette rolls over and picks up her cell from the side table. A few notifications present but a text from Lucas received only a few minutes before she woke catches her eye.

From: Lucas Friar 6:42am Should Shakespeare be quaking in his boots?

His text is obviously asking if she’s going to put forth her play for the vote. Riley types her reply before they enter some light back and forth.

To: Lucas Friar 6:46am Do you know any playwrights that are actually alive.. Or at least from this century?

From: Lucas Friar 6:46am I know you, don’t I?

To: Lucas Friar 6:47am I don’t think it counts until the drama club votes…

From: Lucas Friar 6:48am You have my vote.

To: Lucas Friar 6:49am You’re not in the drama club so it doesn’t count

To: Lucas Friar 6:49am But thank you 😊

At school in the morning Lucas is just about to stop Riley but she sends him an apologetic smile before flagging down CJ as he passes.

“Does your offer still stand?” Riley asks sheepishly.

“Of course.” CJ grins. “Does this mean I get to read your play?”

Nervously, Riley hands CJ a copy of her play. The music man looks at the tittle page with a smile. “Cool.” He finds Riley’s gaze again but she lowers hers bashfully. The bell sounds and students begin to scurry off to their home rooms.

“Meet me in the music room after school?” CJ asks as a student cuts between them.

“Thanks, CJ.” Riley nods.

Once final bell rings for the day Riley makes her way to the music room. As Riley approaches the classroom she hears faint piano music playing. Quietly, Riley observes from the doorway as CJ fiddles with the black and white keys.

“That’s really pretty.” Riley says, startling the boy. “What is it?”

“That’s actually something I composed.” CJ admits sheepishly.

“You wrote that?” Riley asks in awe.

“Yeah. I read through your play during my English class this morning and I got inspired.” CJ says it as if it’s no big deal.

“You wrote that because of my play?” Riley asks touched.

“For the final scene actually.” CJ says, “It’s supposed to summarise the journey she’s gone through.”

“Really?” Riley asks genuinely interested.

“Yeah. Do you want to hear the full piece?” CJ pats the space beside him on the stool. Riley joins him on the seat and listens as he plays the sweet tune Riley overheard upon entering. In it’s entirety it was even more lovely to hear. CJ explains how each part represents a person or point in the story.

“I had no idea music could tell stories like that.” Riley says once he’s finished playing. “Without lyrics at least.”

“So do you like it?” CJ asks with a smile.

“I love it.” Riley giggles. “I knew you were a talented pianist but I had no idea you composed music too.”

“If I’m being honest I prefer writing the music to playing it.” CJ says.

“Is it your thing?” Riley asks.

“My thing?” CJ lets out a quiet laugh.

Riley shakes her head at herself for letting Lucas creep through into the moment. “I mean is composing what you want to do?”

“Yeah.” CJ smiles but he appears to be holding something back.

“What is it?” Riley lightly presses.

“I have an audition for Juilliard on Friday.” CJ says quietly.

“That’s amazing!” Riley beams.

“Yeah I haven’t really told anyone.” CJ admits.

“Why not, that’s such a huge accomplishment?” Riley questions.

“Yeah but if I don’t get in...”

“Ah, that I can relate to.” Riley nods in understanding.

“You can?” CJ pricks up a brow.

Riley backed herself into a corner so nervously she opens up. “I actually applied to three more colleges then any of my friends or family actually know about.”

“Which ones?” CJ asks.

“Harvard.. Yale.. Columbia..” Riley shrugs innocently.

“And suddenly I feel a lot stupider.” CJ jokes.

“You can’t tell anyone.” Riley says. “Especially Kai. He gets all huffy when he’s not the first to know these things about me.”

“I can’t say I don’t understand where he’s coming from.” CJ wears a crooked smile. “I like that you told me about about Harvard... and Yale and Columbia.” He laughs and Riley gets caught up in his gaze.

“Uhh-” Riley bows her head. “So any other ideas about the play?”

Directly after her session with CJ, Riley practically runs to the first person she can think of.

“Bad bad bad bad, very bad!” Riley bursts through Caitlin’s bedroom door.

“Gee, Matthews what can I do for you this fine afternoon?” Caitlin puts down the book she was reading.

“I think I might like a boy.” Riley huffs as she paces around the room.

“If you're asking for the birds and bees talk I have to tell ya it works differently for me.” Caitlin jokes.

“I’m being serious.” Riley stops to frown.

“And so am I... to an extent.” Caitlin sits up on her bed and crosses her legs. “This sounds like a Kai thing.”

“NoOoOo,” Riley chuckles through the extended word. “If I tell Kai about CJ-”

“Wait we’re talking about CJ?” Caitlin cuts in. “The piano boy with dimples?”

“Yes.” Riley resumes her pacing. “Who did you think I meant?”

“Lucas.” Caitlin says bluntly.

Another nervous giggle from Riley. “This is not about Lucas.”

“Okay. So CJ..” Caitlin waves her hand for Riley to continue.

“He was showing me a composition he prepared for my play-”

“Your what?” Caitlin crinkles her brows.

“Not important.” Riley shakes her head. “We were just talking and then he’s smiling and suddenly I’m panicking.”

“So you like him?” Caitlin smiles. “Ask him out.”

“I can’t ask him out.” Riley gasps at the suggestion.

“Oh-kay.” Caitlin laughs at her theatrics. “Do you think he may like you back?”

“That’s not what I’m worried about!” Riley exclaims.

“What’s the problem?” She presses.

“Nothing..” Riley shakes her head.

“I still don't understand why we’re not telling Kai?” Caitlin coaxes her head.

“I can’t tell Kai because some of my confusion also comes from Lucas.” Riley says all in one breath. Finally getting it off her chest.

“So this is about Lucas.” Caitlin says knowingly. “You still like him.”

“No. No, no, nOoO.” Riley laughs nervously. “I do not like Lucas.”

“Yeah cause that sounds totally believable.” Caitlin snorts.

“Lucas is Lucas, you know?” Riley asks but doesn’t wait for an answer. “All he has to do is flash me his stupid perfect smile and suddenly I’m twelve years old again.”

“Do we need to get you a blindfold?” Caitlin jokes. “If boys keep smiling at you I think you might explode.”

“Very funny.” Riley folds her arms. “Mock me in my time of need.”

“Riley,” Caitlin sighs and tries to approach things with less humour. “You come to me with these problems but you’re never really looking for an answer.”

“You’re supposed to tell me to ignore everything and hope it goes away.” Riley pouts.

“There’s four months left of school. Do you really want to graduate with regrets?” Cait sports a sympathetic smile. “Sounds to me like you’ve got some feelings to figure out. If you’re really not ready to entertain the idea of something romantic with Lucas I don’t know if this weird flirty friendship thing is good for you.”

“It is not flirty.” Riley says defensively.

“It’s time to figure this out, Riley.” Caitlin says softly.

“I know.” Riley lets out a heavy sigh. Things were complicating and she knew Caitlin was right, she wouldn’t be able to run away from it all forever.

↠

In just under a month things seemed to complicate even more for the stressed out brunette. With Noah busy preparing for his early departure Kai seemed to rely on Riley a great deal to fill his absence. Riley continued to work with CJ one afternoon and one lunchtime a week. His sweet nature made Riley melt more with every moment spent with him. Guilt also coursed through her as she noticed Lucas’ apparent jealousy when it came to CJ. Although the Texan did his best to keep a level head it was evident that it bothered him thinking Riley could be moving on.

With the time Riley spent with CJ and the more clingy Kai seemed to be this past month Lucas pulled back with his advances trying to respect Riley’s space and hectic schedule. Although she couldn't admit it aloud, Riley did miss having Lucas around. This is why she hasn't been able to finally sever all ties with him.

Now Riley sits in the classroom where the drama club meeting is being held. Ms. Mitchell opens the lines of communication for anyone wanting to suggest what production they’ll run next month. A few ideas fly around before she presents Riley’s play to the group, giving a rough synopsis before Kai performs a monologue from Anxiety’s character. Unanimously the group decides to go forward with Riley’s play.

After the meeting, Riley anxiously makes her way home to share the news with her parents. The whole play thing was kept from them this past month as Riley didn’t want to leave room for disappointment if things didn’t go the way she hoped.

Riley takes a deep breath before entering her apartment. Cory and Topanga sit on the sofa with goofy smiles and both turn their heads when their daughter enters the room.

“I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you...” Riley says nervously as she approaches.

“Honey, I think we know what this is about.” Cory says with a smile.

“You do?” Riley knits her brows together.

“A couple letters came in the mail for you today.” Topanga is bursting with excitement as she motions towards the coffee table. Riley follows her direction and spots four large envelopes lined perfectly along the table.

Riley holds her breath as her eyes notices the different college logos printed on the corners of each of the envelopes. The only four colleges she applied to other than back up schools.

“Why didn’t you tell us you applied to other colleges?” Cory asks.

“These other colleges.” Topanga stresses.

“I didn’t tell anyone- Well I told Mr. Feeny because I asked him to write me recommendation letters but that’s not the point-” Riley nervously rambles, her eyes still glued to the letters on the table. “I knew there’s no chance I would get in so I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Honey.” Topanga says firmly and Riley lifts her gaze. “They’re the big envelopes.”

“Maybe they're just really sorry I didn’t get in.” Riley laughs and all sorts of nerves pour through.

“You ready to find that out?” Cory asks softly.

Riley takes a deep breath and opens four letters that could potentially change the course of her future.

The next day at school Riley shares the secret results Noah and Kai.

“YOU GOT IN TO ALL FOUR?” Kai quite literally shouts.

“Shh.” Riley lowers her gaze anxiously.

“As if.” Kai hugs Riley tightly. “Literally everyone is going to know about this by lunch.”

“Congratulations, Sunshine.” Noah says very sweetly. “I knew you had it in you.”

“Thanks for the brochures.” Riley grins back.

News spread quite quickly, mainly because Kai told anyone who would listen and Riley nervously thanks people as they congratulate her. The brunette felt very awkward, like she was showing off but part of her liked the attention, it made her prouder of her efforts over the years.

Two particular congratulations stuck with Riley more than the others.

“Boy do I feel even stupider now.” CJ jokes with Riley at lunch.

“Any word from Juilliard yet?” Riley questions trying to pass off the attention.

“I won't hear until April.” CJ explains.

Then after final bell Lucas catches up with Riley.

“What was Princeton too good for you?” Lucas opens with a joke.

“I didn’t apply.” Riley shrugs. “I heard they’re lucky if they accept more than one student from the same school a year.”

“Funny, both Farkle and Isadora got their acceptance letters last week.” Lucas gives Riley a knowing look.

“I’m very happy for them.” Riley smiles back.

“I knew those brochures weren't for Kai.” Lucas says. “You deserve this, Riley.”

“Thanks, Lucas.” Riley smiles sweetly and finds herself lingering a little longer than needed. “My parents are having a little celebration thing at the bakery now... If you want to come?”

“I want to.” Lucas nods lightly. Riley knew that Kai had already invited CJ but still Riley couldnt help herself, she wanted him there.

A few days later Noah leaves for Notre Dame leaving a very upset Kai behind. Riley is on full time best friend duty from that moment onwards putting all boy confusion to the back of her mind.

Another month passes and Riley has gained a great deal of confidence about her play. With each and every rehearsal the brunette grows prouder of her efforts and watching it all come to life before her eyes is truly rewarding.

Riley takes a co-director roll with this production. It meant more to her to oversee it as a whole rather than be in the play itself. A decision Ms. Mitchell happily supported.

The Junior Sophie - whom played the cowardly lion in the last play - takes on one of the two main leads, she is the character Riley loosely based on herself and Kai plays the roll of sentient being that represents anxiety. after his short monologue presenting it to the drama club, Ms. Mitchell had already quietly made up her mind about him playing the part.

Riley was busy in this month, sure she saw CJ during rehearsals and Lucas was still there every now and then but she grew no closer to sorting out her feelings with everything else that was on her mind. Riley had a lot of her spare time taken up making sure Kai was okay. A few choice phone calls with Noah upset him deeply, especially the most recent when Noah confirmed he wouldn't be able to make it for prom.

Opening night arrives and Riley’s anxiety has flared up but there’s also an exhilarating excitement coursing through her. The crowd is beginning to fill the auditorium and Riley takes a few deep breaths backstage. CJ approaches with his beautiful smile and Riley takes a few more nervous breaths.

“I know this is your big night and all but I couldn’t wait to tell you.” CJ says with a growing smile.

“Tell me what?” Nerves building as Riley anticipates his response.

“I got the letter this afternoon, I got into Juilliard.” CJ says excitedly.

“That’s amazing!” Riley wraps her arms around him in a hug and CJ lifts her feet off the ground and spins her around.

“Oh, hey Lucas.” CJ says awkwardly as he puts Riley’s feet back down on the ground.

“Lucas!” Riley says guiltily like she’s been caught doing something wrong even though she knew she hadn't.

“I can come back.” Lucas shifts awkwardly.

“No it’s okay.” CJ says even though he knew Lucas was talking to Riley. “I have to double check the sheet music.”

“Hi.” Riley says once she’s alone with Lucas.

“Hey.” He smiles but there’s a sadness behind it. “I have something for you.”

“It’s not another rose is it?” Riley jokes lightly but the mood is off. Lucas hands Riley something and she inspects it.

“Is this a hat?” riley laughs.

“It’s supposed to be Shakespearean.” Lucas plays with the feather. “At least that’s what the costume shop owner said...”

“Thank you?” Riley narrows her brows.

“I got it because he’s the second best playwright I know, after you of course.” Lucas wears a weak smile.

Riley’s smile grows at his sweet statement. “You still haven't read my play.”

“Yeah but I still believe in you.” Lucas smiles.

“After this we’re all hanging out on my rooftop, If like if you came?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Kai has been missing Noah too much to be phased by anything else,” Riley lightly jokes, “You should take advantage of that.”

“Riley, there you are! It’s time to take a seat.” Ms. Mitchell interrupts the moment.

“You should go.” Lucas smiles. “This is your big night.”

“Please come tonight?” Riley smiles.

“Sure.” Lucas nods. “I’ll see you there.”

The play went off without a hitch. A completely well received success. A life changing event for the brunette. As Riley stood on stage for her final bow she knew that she might not know which college she was going to yet but she did know what she wanted to go to college for.

“And now in honour of our playwright, Riley, we’d like to present to you all a special encore performance.” Ms. Mitchell says over the microphone and makes her way back to her seat in the audience. She’s previously been on stage introducing all cast and crew members for the bows.

“A what?” Riley knits her brows and looks to Kai.

A smile widely plastered on her best friends face as he takes a few backwards steps. Confused, Riley’s head turns from left to right as she feels an arm link with each of hers, two drama club members are on either side of her. Both the students lead her backwards and Riley ends up being sat down in a swivel chair. Riley looks up and finds that all the students from the final bow had either scattered or disappeared, Kai now amongst the missing.

“What is going on?” Riley can’t help but nervously laugh. She turns to Sophie, one of the drama club members that sat her down. The junior is unresponsive other than a wide knowing smile like Kai had moments before. Tyler, the other theatre member that held onto Riley’s arm still stands on the other side of her, he and Sophie push Riley’s chair towards the edge of the stage.

Riley’s head snaps towards the orchestra section as an upbeat piano tune begins to play. CJ is already looking over to her and gives Riley a wink. Another nervous giggle leaves the senior as she turns her attention back towards the stage and she watches the curtains reopen, instantly noticing the set is different from the final scene of her play. The projector screen had been rolled down, a simple brick pattern was being displayed with bold text that reads, ‘Freshman Year’. In front sits a small table and bench like seat.

The words freshman year fades off the screen and just a plain brick wall picture is left behind. Suddenly Kai’s voice bellows through the auditorium. “Too soft to play Danny Zuko? Pfft.” The boy in glasses marches across the stage and stands in front of the projected brick wall. “I’ll show them!”

Riley slaps a hand over her gaping mouth knowing exactly what he’s acting out but still unsure as to why. Confused but in a good kind of shocked state, Riley watches on.

Kai proceeds to dramatically wave a pretend cigarette in the air and fumbles with it when someone else bursts onto the stage. Riley’s shocked to see it’s Caitlin in a brunette wig quite literally wearing Riley’s clothes. The free spirit is over dramatising a pouty ‘boo hoo’ face to the crowd.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone would be out here.” Caitlin’s imitation voice of Riley isn’t new to the brunettes ears. Riley giggles at the very goofy dramatised version of how she met Kai.

“Me either.” Kai shrugs towards the crowd. “Are you alright?”

“Teenage problems, am I right?” Caitlin places two hands on her hips.

“Tell me about it.” Kai exaggerates a nod.

“Well. Bye.” Caitlin says after a dramatic pause. She turns to leave but Kai stops her.

“Wait, maybe we can help each other?” Kai’s eyes widen.

“What did you have in mind?” Caitlin scrunches up her face. Suddenly Sophie and Tyler are out on stage helping both Kai and Caitlin into jackets whilst a few other students are taking away the makeshift courtyard table.

The image on the projector screen changes to a still of Rydell High, the high school from Grease. Both the teens on stage turn around and poke their thumbs down towards the logos on their jackets. Kai the T-Bird and Caitlin the Pink Lady.

“We may not be Danny and Sandy…” Kai shakes his head. “… But at least we go together…” A familiar intro begins to play. A small clip of ‘We Go Together’ from Grease plays and the two do a small part of the freshman play choreography, jazz hands and all.

“I think this beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Kai says once the music fades out and he pulls Caitlin in for a hug. As they embrace a clip of a day calendar pops up on the screen with each day blowing by quickly. Once Riley and Kai separate they pull off their jackets and toss them to either side.

“Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys.” Kai says repetitively as he nods with a wide smile.

“Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys.” Caitlin mimics but with a crinkled expression and the shake of her head. This makes everyone in the crowd laugh, including Riley.

The projector screen continues to play the clip of the calendar days quickly going by as the two teens fake giggle and move around in front as if they were making a mini montage of their friendship and time gone by.

“Summer!” Kai exclaims. A picture of Cinderella's castle shows up on the screen. Both Caitlin and Kai pick up something off the floor that Riley didnt even notice was there. They each slip on two sets of ears, Caitlin has the trademark Minnie ears and Kai sports the Mickey pair. The boy in glasses pulls out his phone and the two dramatise a selfie in front of the iconic castle, thus giving Riley warm and fuzzie feels of their summer trip to Orlando all those years ago.

“Let me see!” Caitlin squeaks and the two huddle together with the phone. “Ah I blinked! Delete it!”

“No I’m saving it as my locksceen.” Kai laughs. Then the screen changes to the actual picture the two little actors were joking about. Riley cringes but still in a smiley way at her derpy Disney selfie.

Then Riley’s two friends disappear behind the big projector screen and a slide show of some of Rileys fondest memories play. Numerous silly sleepover selfies of Riley and Kai together, snap shots from adventures and outings, drama club shots, all posts in chronological order and each photo making Riley feel warmer than the last. Eventually faces like Noah, Caitlin and Harper all join the mix.

The screen then changes to a picture of the halls at AA High. A familiar school bell sound rings through the auditorium and Caitlin and Kai return from behind the screen, Caitlin wearing a different dress of Riley’s and Kai wearing a new shirt.

“Can you believe we’re seniors?” Kai sways on his feet excitedly. “This year is going to great- more than great!” Kai bounces on his toes.

The two then stand still and a ‘six months later’ sign flashes on the screen before the same picture of the halls pops back up.

“How has nothing gone to plan?” Kai whines once he unfreezes his position.

“Teenage problems, am I right?” Caitlin places her hands on her lips like the beginning of the ‘play’ and the crowd chuckles.

“But at least we have each other, right?” Kai coaxes his head with a sweet smile.

“Nah,” Caitlin says, “I’m bored of this. I don’t want to play Riley anymore.”

“Cait!” Kai pretends to be thrown off by her scripted declaration. Laugther ensues as people can’t completely tell if this was planned or not.

The free spirit pulls off her brunette wig and tosses it to the side. “Make Matthews play herself for the final scene.”

“Well okay!” Kai says positively and walks over to where Riley sits. Kai takes her by the hand and leads her towards the centre of the stage where the fake courtyard has now been reset. Kai helps Riley up and they both sit on the table top.

“You’re insane.” Riley whispers, she’s too overwhelmed to be embarrassed by the attention.

Kai gives Riley a wink before coaxing his head. “You’re the Jan to my Putzie, the Dorothy to my Tin Man, the Minnie to my Mickey- I thought this would rhyme better.” Kai points a purposeful shrieky face towards the crowd and laughter spreads. He turns back to Riley and holds both her hands in his. “Now I’m not saying our meeting was fate but I would love if that meeting lead to you being my prom date?”

Riley rolls her head forward with a laugh of sheer amazement. “That’s what this is?” Riley asks with a goofy smile plastered on her face.” Her voice isn't projected into a microphone so only Kai can hear her.

“What do you say, Ri?” He asks with a sweet smile.

“Of course I’ll go to prom with you.” Riley grins.

“She said yes!” Kai shoots up with hands extended in the air and the crowd erupts into cheers. The rest of the drama club and crew members who were in on this run back onto stage, Caitlin included, bowing before joining in on the applause. All sorts of confetti flies around as Riley’s best friend helps her to stand up too so she can get the attention she deserves.

Kai pulls off his headset microphone and gives Riley another hug.

“I was going to ask you to prom.” Riley says as they part. She had genuinely been planning on it only a day before, she wanted to make prom special for her best friend especially since he was so down about Noah not being able to make it.

“I thought you might so I made sure to give you the proposal you desvre first.”

“I guess it helps being super social, means you have lots of people willing to help you with over the top things such as this.” Riley has to shout a little to be heard over the commotion.

“Nah,” Kai shakes his head, “No one wanted to help until I told them it was for you.”

The look on her best friends face had Riley know he was sincere and the statement and this whole gesture itself had Riley on the brink of tears.

Afterwards all cast and crew wind up on Riley’s rooftop like she had planned. She’s making her rounds through the crowd, a gaze always wandering around other people.

“I can’t believe you agreed to do that on stage.” Riley laughs at Caitlin.

“I told Kai I wasn’t going to let anyone else make fun of you like that.” Caitlin smirks.

“And I told her that it wasn’t making fun of you!” Kai laughs.

Riley’s eyes wander again and a smile creeps on her face once she spots Lucas enter through the door. The brunette excuses herself from her current conversation and skips over to him.

“There you are.” Riley pulls him in for a hug, her excitement transferring into an extra warm welcoming.

“Your play was amazing.” Lucas praises genuinely. “I didn’t doubt it for a second but you still blew me away.”

“Thank you.” Riley coaxes her head with a smile.

“And that was some promposal, huh?”

“Very big commotion.” Riley laughs.

“You deserve the attention.” Lucas smiles. “Definitely beats anything I would have come up with.” Lucas says and Riley was unsure if that was him unwittingly admitting to planning on asking her not. She doesn’t bring it up instead she pokes at his seemingly off mood.

“What’s wrong?” Riley questions.

“Nothing.” Lucas shakes his head.

“Come on I know you better than that.” Riley says. “What’s up?”

“This is your night, Riley.” Lucas smiles.

“I’m not giong to be able to focus on anything else until you tell me what’s up.” Riley states. Lucas still looks reluctant but Riley tugs at his sleeve and leads him off the rooftop and inside into the quiet.

“What’s on your mind?” Riley asks again.

“I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything.” Lucas finally speaks.

“I know.” Riley laughs unsure of why this is being brought up. “In fact I believe I told you that very fact myself.”

“I know you like CJ.” Lucas holds Riley’s gaze.

“How could you possibly know that?” Riley shifts nervously.

“Because you look at him the way you used to look at me.” Lucas says solemnly.

“Lucas-”

“I’m not trying to guilt you, Riley and I’m not giving up either.” Lucas says. “But I will step back and give you time to work things out with CJ without the added pressure of my persistence, because I owe you that.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Riley is genuinely at a loss for words.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Lucas says. “I just want you to know that I’m still in this thing until you say otherwise.”

Riley knew in that moment she could have cut all ties, apologised and maybe one day some sort of friendship could be salvaged from the mess but she didn’t. She let him walk away as an option and hated herself for it. Lucas may of hurt her but she knew it wasn’t fair to continue going on like this.

Graduation is vast approaching and Riley was determined to graduate with no regrets. This all had to end.

End Notes: SO THIS IS LONG. I hope y'all are staying with me so far... Somethings are changing!! Riley is v confused and also feeling guilty for feeling!!

I hope none of this is received wrong. I don't want anyone to think that ANYONE in this story is emotionally manipulating anyone in anyway because its not my intent to portray them that way.

NEXT CHAPTER: P R O M !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! King? Queen? Riley? Lucas? Kai? CJ? No regrets?

soz for errors its too long for me to be bothered editing efficiently sdlghdfkjh

#rucas #rucas au #rucas fic #rucas fanfic

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