#egyptian pun

[aimarskloset]

Ghostly Gazette #6

[lord-of-tomatoes]

He only talks when making puns

[monstrousliarstold]

[ladycybercat]

To bid please visit my FA page: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50753751

Unfortunately paypal fees are going up, as is the cost of living, so I've had to adjust prices. Thank you for your understanding. Please note full payment is required up front within 3 days of winning the auction, no exceptions can be made. Thank you for your understanding. :) Starting bid is $85.00. Autobuy is $185. Please bid in amounts of $5. Auction ends Saturday Jan 28th at 11 pm EASTERN. ( Please see the updated rules . Thank you! )

Posted using PostyBirb

[batarangzz]

Bete2lesh??? Edward Said wrote one of the most comprehensive cultural studies w bete2lesh 3ala esmo???

[astra-ravana]

The Basic Principles Of Spellcasting

Law of Similarity

These first two principles are from James Frazer's The Golden Bough and are fundamental to all of magick. Frazer describes this law as "like produces like" . This law says that manipulation of an image or likeness yields manipulation of the thing itself. Here's some examples of the Law of Similarity:

• Stabbing a human-shaped figure with nails or pins to cause pain to the person

• Drawing the practitioner holding their love interest by a leash in a "love leash" spell

• Writing a spell in a circle around someone's name to encircle or restrain them

• Putting a love spell that aims to make the target "burn with love" into a candle flame or oil lamp

• Walking upon a written spell to have the target "underfoot" and under your control

Similarity isn't restricted by literal similarity, it extends to metaphorical similarity as well. Idioms and puns were widely used in Egyptian myth and magick.

Law of Contagion

Frazer puts this one quite well: things which have once been in contact with eachother continue to act on eachother. One can extend this law to say that magickal energy can be transferred or shared between objects by contact and that transferal is strongest if they are in contact or extremely close. Examples include:

• Using the hair of a target in a spell or curse

• Writing a spell to a deity on the hide of a corresponding animal

• Burying a separation spell at the home of a couple to affect them

Hair is super useful (and sometimes required) for any spell targeted at someone. Some even keep or trade hair as collateral.

Note:If you need to perform substitutions in a spell, use the Law of Similarity and Law of Contagion for selecting the substitution, (ie: use red wine mixed with an animal's hair instead of blood from that animal).

Law of Durability

This law is basically covered by the Law of Similarity, but, because it's so important for picking components, it is being included separately. Magick done with more durable components will yield a longer lasting effect. For example, a spoken spell will be weaker than a spell written on parchment. The written spell will be weaker than a spell carved into wood or stone. This applies to enchanting as well; more durable items will stay enchanted longer.

Law of Layering

The Law of Layering must be applied carefully as it is about complementary layers, not throwing a bunch of stuff at a wall. The principle is the more layers that are used in magick, the stronger the magick will be. More layers build more power. Some ways to add layers are:

• Having a pre-spell ritual like bathing and meditating

• Cast spells in a designated space for casting with items designated for magick

• Make motions that mirror the words you're saying

• Add components to your spell via the Law of Similarity, the Law of Contagion, or objects along your correspondence.

• Perform the spell with a group as opposed to solo

• Reinforce a spell by doing it for multiple days, weeks, months, etc. (as in 'once per')

Law of Likeliness

One could compare magick to stacking a deck; you're manipulating chance to get circumstances to fall in your favor. This means two things. The first is magick cannot make the impossible happen. Magick is unlikely to cause things to levitate, or conjure fire from nowhere, or anything that isn't possible in our plane of existence. The second is, if an outcome is less likely, stronger magick is required to achieve it. Some decks are just easier to stack.

Law of Agency

No magick, short of possession, can fully rob a human of their free will. For example, if you cast a love spell on a target who's sexuality doesn't align with yours, it will have little to no effect. If a person is resistant to a certain energy in their day-to-day life, they will similarly be resistant to that same energy when sent via magick.

[ominoose]

𝐎𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐈𝐬𝐚𝐚𝐜 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫'𝐬 𝐀𝐬 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬

Characters: Steven Grant, Nathan Bateman, Llewyn Davis, Jake Lockley, Blue Jones Summary: Oscar Characters characters teaching subjects at school. Warnings: None WC: 1.7k

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁 - 𝗛𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

His natural passion and accidental ability to hyper-fixate on things means he can teach all the required topics with ridiculous detail, but we all know which subject he dominates best.

The vast majority of the students adore him. Mr Grant’s lessons are always fun, he lets the class make posters (that include all nine members of the Ennead), do Kahoot quizzes, create live re-enactments of historical events. Even when he’s just talking off a power point, his voice, mannerisms and tendency to act things out has the children engrossed and giggling. 

The classroom walls are absolutely littered with posters, some bought and some done by students. There's inspiring quotes, positivity kittens and Egyptian puns.

Not only is he a good teacher, but a good mentor. Being autistic himself, he notices any neurodivergent or “othered” kids and makes it a point to find what they’re passionate about and working it into their curriculum. If someones struggling he’ll arrange one-on-one time, asking them what they’re strengths are not just to help figure out how to work with them, but to remind them they have strengths.

While most students do love him, the few troublemakers know he’s not the strictest and thus will absolutely take the piss. Feigning ignorance and struggles as an excuse to why they missed a deadline or didn’t do the homework. Steven, the optimist he is, is always happy to give second, third and fourth chances. It does take that long for him to realise they’re not genuine, and yet he’ll still try, convincing himself that he’ll be able to turn them straight with the magic of friendship.

𝗡𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗕𝗮𝘁𝗲����𝗮𝗻 - 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗰𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲

It would be like finding a needle in a haystack trying to find a single student in the many years Nathan had been teaching that didn’t, at least at one point, absolutely despise him. Mr Bateman was far from the friendliest, lax teacher to his students, bordering on a bit of an asshole really. He had an absolute zero tolerance policy for time wasting, messing around and not giving 100%. All students were expected to keep up, get the work done on time and spend time studying and completing exercises at home. If you didn’t do that, you weren’t trying hard enough.

The common conception of a hard-ass wasn’t ill fitting, but it wasn’t without reason. Mr Bateman was a hard-ass because he wanted his students to grasp every opportunity at their disposal and stretch their potential. Some people were born smarter, some learned quicker from a young age but every single person could better themselves regardless of whether they started at Level 10 or Level 0. 

It also shouldn’t be said that he wanted students that simply obeyed. It was a story passed down to students about the time a student, in a fit of frustration and defiance to the teacher that always pushed them, completely disregarded the set code structure and wrote their own entirely new one that completed the aim function. While everyone would expect them to be given weeks worth of detention and a reaming, but Mr Bateman simply smiled, said well done and moved on with the lesson. Apparently the kid managed to get a full paid scholarship into top university, but that was just hearsay. Rumour has it his middle name is Hamlet too, snickering students will whisper.

Besides his rigid teaching style, not much is known about him. The classroom is minimalist, only a coffee flask and a pot of three black ballpoints sit on his desk. The walls are sparse beyond a handful of posters about common coding knowledge.

𝗟𝗹𝗲𝘄𝘆𝗻 𝗗𝗮𝘃𝗶𝘀 - 𝗠𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗰

The beginning of every new school year followed the same routine. Kids would hear their music teacher was a published artist, get insanely excited, go to class then realise published was not synonymous with success and wither with disappointment. Mr Davis gave up caring years ago, at least he finally had a steady gig, albeit at the cost of his soul.

Classes were average. Sometimes students were treated to his natural singing voice, something that always sparked smiles and attention from the kids, but usually lessons were Llewyn bearing through kids bashing piano keys and drum pads as he wandered around and did his best to tutor them through it.

To kids that were required to take the class, it was alright. Mr Davis wasn’t a hard ass, although it did drain his soul to see kids blind to the brilliance and potential of music. His homework mostly consisted of practicing at home or listening to different genres. To kids that genuinely enjoyed music, it was bliss. Mr Davis was no dream mentor for sure, he was quite stubborn about what he thought “good music” sounded like, but when he sat with someone he could share the passion with, the kid would feel like an equal. 

The classroom was always open to kids that wanted time to practice, he knew what an escape music could be, and would never hesitate to sit and work out a song or even add his guitar to whatever a student was playing.

The room was a riot on a good day. All sorts of instruments littered and surrounded the desks, posters of musicians and notes and the different types of brass instruments lined the walls and there was always something playing in the background. A basket of fruit and cereal bars was always sat fully stocked next to the door, with a “Help Yourself” sign stuck to it. No one knew why, and no one ever thought to question it.

𝗝𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗲𝘆 - 𝗦𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵

Spanish was always a full class, no matter what year or whether the students actually cared about Spanish. Students either swooned over him or wanted to be his friend. Mr Lockley knew, although had no clue why, but who cares as long as he was able to spread some Spanish around. The point is, Mr Lockley had no enemies at school.

Like a typical Spanish teacher, the register was taken in Spanish, if you wanted to ask to go to the toilet it had to be Spanish and if you wanted to pass notes in class they had better be in Spanish. He wasn’t the most forgiving, the man expected homework to be in on time and god help you if it was google translate. Mr Lockley would call you out, make you re-do it in his class at lunch or give detention to repeat offenders.

If students had been doing reasonably well he’d bring in some traditional Latin American foods for students to try, turn on a Spanish movie or even treat them to a little story about his past. Remember the Chef in Ratatouille that killed a guy with one thumb? That's the type of nonsense he talked about, albeit a bit more kid friendly. Most of the stories were embellished tales of him saving a grannies purse from being stolen, but some students always wondered about that hardened, broody looking teacher.

Mr Lockley prefers to keep his help to class time, long past learning his lesson about the very obvious students that came to him giggling and blushing behind their hands. On a rare occasion however, he will accept a student that comes knocking, overly apologetic and pleading for just a little help on their assignment, especially if the student is a quiet one. His lunch is set aside and he gestures for the student to take a seat before going over it with them, helping them with pronunciation, never shaming them or getting annoyed if they make a basic mistake. At the end he’ll even teach them how to say shit in Spanish, if they can keep it a little secret.

The classroom has posters of different Latin American countries, verbs and nouns, the different gendered terms. His desk was a little cluttered, a ‘Mejor Profesor’ mug, papers half marked and some drawings done by students hung nearby.

𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗝𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀 - 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘆

No one's favourite teacher but everyone knew him and had something to say. If a student had him later in the day they’d need to pray the morning classes were well behaved or pray they knew someone in said classes that could give a heads up on his moods. It didn’t matter either way, you could walk in one him sucking on his lower lip and glaring the entire class down and walk away with him smiling and patting backs. It was every student for themselves in that class. The only consistency was the white lab coat he wore. 

There were obvious favourites, usually people who found a good balance of kissing his ass but not too overtly, asking for help while still expressing basic knowledge. If you asked too many questions, he would openly sigh or ignore you for someone else. If you gave an answer he thought was stupid, he wouldn’t hide the hands raking over his face in annoyance. If you were quiet and kept to yourself, you’d skirt by okay until one day in the middle of a lesson he calls your name with a faux chirp, predatory smile and ask a question. Answer correctly and you can rest assured he'll (probably) leave you alone for the next few lessons, answer wrong and enjoy doing exam questions as practice.

Detention for even a hint of a Breaking Bad reference. Openly hated a student named Jessie. Weirdly, students notice it's not the chemistry part that annoys him, it's the inaccurate portrayal of drug transactions and the costs. No one has dared ask why he knows so much about that.

Mr Jones’ door is usually locked at lunch and after class, he'll blatantly ignore any student that knocks and continue eating. On the stray chance a rare student manages to find him outside the class and has the balls to stop him, with his trademark sigh he'll begrudgingly set up a day and time to help them. It'll be a one-on-one session filled with eyerolls and being talked down to, but you'll get lots of extra knowledge and he'll even throw some of his old textbooks at you for free. Weirdly, he won't bother you in class anymore, just giving you a little smile out the corner of his eye.

The classroom has old periodic table posters from the teacher that retired years before him, and classroom rules about remembering to wear goggles or you'll go blind. The only thing on his desk besides several piles of paper is teacher mugs with variations of chemistry puns he pretends to hate.

[bynineb]

What pieces of media are your biggest creature design inspirations?

ooh how fun! let's see...

Pokemon Crystal (Ken Sugimori)

(src: Bulbapedia)

I had a Pokemon Crystal strategy guide with all 251 Pokemon in it that I studied religiously when it came to making monsters of my own. I love Ken Sugimori's illustrations so much - the dappled paint makes it so soft, gives everything the feeling of being struck by light dancing down from foliage above. The subtle implied detailing with line strokes and shadow allows the imagination to run wild. They, truly, feel like creatures to have adventures with. And of course, Pokemon is a juggernaut of an RPG, facilitating those childhood fantasies, and then there's a TV show showing them playing and shouting their name and fighting... No wonder so many people got hooked on it!

Dragon Warrior Monsters 2 (Akira Toriyama)

(src: Dragon's Den)

Since they're designed as enemies foremost, Dragon Quest's monsters can get a lot kookier & scarier than Pokemon can. And Toriyama gives his monster designs so much charm and personality! You feel like he always has fun coming up with them, and it makes every Dragon Quest game more delightful for having them be your foes (and sometimes friends). Also, all the English names are puns and portmanteaus and other fun word things!

After Armageddon Gaiden (artist unknown - dev is PandoraBox)

(src: Bogleech, who also wrote a wonderful article on these critters: https://bogleech.com/halloween/hall18-aagolem)

Uniquely grotesque beasts from a deeply obscure Japanese RPG named After Armageddon Gaiden, the second in a duology about player-controlled demons fighting alien invaders. Some of the designs get quite gory or disturbing, fair warning. But in a cool way!! The sheer strangeness of these designs are something to behold!... And they have the best names ever, like "Barabumblebo"...

YU-GI-OH early card art (Kazuki Takahashi)

(src: Yugioh fandom page)

Yu-Gi-Oh's early monster designs are something I think about a lot. I don't know what that says about me, but I do know they're unbelievably cool, a blend of genuinely scary Egyptian-flavored horror and wacky, tropey, cartoony fantasy. The fact that these ridiculous designs are frequently art for a card that's completely worthless in terms of winning duels, combined with their randomly specific descriptions about how unbelievably powerful they are, gives them a certain mystique. It's as if the creature you see depicted truly exists as a part of some greater fantasy world...

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

(src: me, many moons ago)

Seeing properly scary monsters inside a strange virtual world in Ocarina of Time was quite the experience for my young self. For example, I had nightmares about the Stalchildren who used to burst, endlessly, from the ground of the strangely empty Hyrule Field. But that also made it feel like such an adventure! The thrill added to the experience. And even many of the game's races are quite monsterlike; Gorons, Zora, Deku, and so forth. This had me imagine turning a "bad" creature into a friend, a concept I cherish to this day... hence Love-Love here.

Well that's that! Thanks for asking, this was fun to write : )

[sleepyfan-blog]

I VERY DESPERATELY NEED/Want Baby Primarch Mers. So Badly. PLEASE!

Ok! I"ll go down the list

1 - Lion - So, the temptation to make him part lionfish is incredible here. There's also the fact that IRL Lionfish are a huge problem in certain parts of the world because they are an invasive species in those areas, as well as incredibly deadly because of their poisonous spines. And considering how deadly Lion and his sons can be... Yeah, I think he's part lionfish. Specifically he has a deep green tail with silver stripes. His spines are black and gold and hold incredibly potent poisons.

2- ??? [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF THE EMPEROR]]

3- Fulgrim - He is part Coral Beauty Angelfish, and has a beautiful purple tail that fades into a vibrant yellow color. Coral beauties (at least according to the quick google search I did about them) are an incredibly hardy salt water fish, and known for their vibrant colorations.

4 - Perturabo - is part Cabezon - which are known for being Stubborn Bastard Fish who Refuse To Move until they get their next meal, willing to wait days and even weeks before they get their next meal. Which is often other fish, which I feel fits Peter turbo pretty well. He has a pleated tail and fins that are a mottled steel and black color, with the occasional yellow stripe.

5 - Jaghatai - is part Sailfish - which are allegedly one of the fastest fish in the world IRL. He has a bright white tail with red stripes. His fins are also white with red stripes.

6 - Leman - is part Piranha. Not only are Piranhas highly predatory, they also are species of fish that school together. Like how Space Wolves almost always stick together in packs. Also, he still has fangs in this AU. His tail and fins are a lovely slate grey color with an iridescent shine to them.

7 - Rogal - part greenland shark! Cold adapted predator of the sea. Doesn't look like much but is an apex predator in the seas it lives in. He has gorgeous golden fins and tails with black spots.

8 - Konrad - part goblin shark. I didn't pick it just because of the name, but because it is a deep water shark (lives in darkness, just like a certain edgy primarch) that is rarely seen by humans. And. Well. Most humans who saw Konrad didn't exactly live to tell about it, did they? He has a deep blue tail and fins that are surprisingly slender. But powerful and he has a hell of a bite and many, many pointy teeth.

9 - Sanguinius - He has a beautiful silver tail and fin-like wings, as his mer-half is flying fish! Although I was super tempted to make him part-lamprey because of the blood-sucking aspect of him.

10 -  Ferrus - as per the suggestions of @angronsjewelbeetle @c-u-c-koo-4-40k and @i-am-a-dragon34 Ferrus is now part Dunkleostous, with dark grey fins and tail on his dorsal side and a silvery ventral side.

11 - ?? [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF THE EMPEROR]

12 - Angron - part betta fish. He has striking red and gold fins and tail and will square the fuck up if the mood strikes.

13 - Roboute - there is a big temptation to go for the Ultramarlin pun, but I won't give in. What I am going with is part Ribbon Eel, as they have this really lovely blue body with bright yellow dorsal and ventral stripes that go all the way down their bodies. That and G-Man having a long tail to thwap his brothers with makes me giggle.

14 - Mortarion - part pufferfish. Prickly, defensive and poisonous. Can and will puff up. Has grey fins and tail with dark green spots. Spiny.

15 - Magnus: I am torn between making him part carp - because of the Japanese (I think?) myth about a carp jumping up a waterfall in order to become a dragon - which hints at Magnus' incredibly powerful warp abilities or an Abtu, which is a mythical ancient Egyptian fish, because Space Egypt. Thoughts? Opinions?

16 - Horus: Is part dolphin. Known for being very charismatic and charming, but can and will bully other kinds of sea life. Baby-Horus has a deep green tail with gold markings.

17 - Lorgar - I love the Parrot Fish pun suggestion by @c-u-c-koo-4-40k so that is what I am going with. His fins and tail are a deep red color with a silver shimmer to them.

18 - Vulcan - another excellent suggestion by @c-u-c-koo-4-40k for making one of the primarchs part barracuda! I have decided on Vulcan, rather than Magnus. Vulcan’s dorsal fins and tail are a deep green color, the ventral side is black. Along the middle where the two colors meet, he had gold spots.

19 - Corvus: Part of me wants to make Corvus either some kind of shark, or angler fish bc of his whole "sworn vengeance and eternally hunting after Lorgar post-heresy" thing but. Big E is also a being who loves himself some aesthetics and I don't think a part-angler fish boy would fit that. Perhaps part black-tipped shark bc of their stealthiness. Thoughts?

20 - Alpharius and Omegon: are color-pallet changed blue-ring octopi. Instead of a yellow body with bright blue rings, they have vibrant teal tentacles with bright silver ring-patterns across their tentacles and up the fishy parts of their bodies.

@egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel

[doesnotloveyou]

The "Marvel Rivals" Hot Takes (that my irl friends don't want to hear)

The Basics

The target demographic is straight male players with extremely average intellect. Y'know, gamers

Heavily influenced by the Chinese devs. You will wonder who the hell Luna Snow is (K-Pop Dazzler), and why Moon Knight has a Chinese-style skin option (especially since Moon Night is an Egyptian deity's avatar, but Lunar New Year puns are whatever)

Including Psylocke and a Chinese Iron Fist (bye, Danny Rand) is cool, but surprising if you're expecting American Marvel decisions

Male Characters

most of the men are stereotypical top heavy beefcakes who would go down instantly in a slight breeze

exceptions: Spider-Man is lithe, Bruce Banner is a twig, we can't see Strange's physique under his cloak, and the two small creature characters of Rocket & Jeff

Iron Fist and Winter Soldier should be closer to Spider-Man on the Lithe-to-Beefcake spectrum,

Namor stands out as he apparently mistook this for a Mr. International costume contest, which is not OOC for our K’uk’ulkan, but unusual in the line-up of "straight male fantasy" body types

AND WHY IS NAMOR'S VOICE SPANIARD? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

most of the male characters have no butt whatsoever, just rippling biceps

Winter Soldier has one of the flattest backsides I have ever seen....but one of the most artistically shaded groins...

THE MOST interesting character designs for a game trying to pass as straight-coded are Venom and Groot. They got backsides to match the female characters, as in PRONOUNCED

unpack that how you will...

Female Characters

it's a dude game, our ladies are Barbie dolls with back problems *shakes fist at Rob Liefeld*

Black Widow's bubble-butt is halfway up her back for some reason. Maybe the devs thought she is genetically part spider?

Cloak and Dagger are an odd inclusion. Dagger in her skintight, butt-crack suit is who you see most often as she prances around the battlefield on her tippy toes like Tinkerbell; and Cloak, one of three black playable characters in the game, is almost never visible and seems to have one line of dialogue. Tandy does all the talking and most of the playing

Magick looks great, whoever designed her understood the assignment

Squirrel Girl is the "progressive" token as a chunky girl, and except for an exposed midriff and bare thighs she's not overtly sexualized

why is cutscene Shuri so light-skinned? Her skintone is close to Loki's

Storm and Shuri have faces molded to look more attractive to Asian audiences (that emaciated, triangular shape) than to resemble Afro features, but that's a level of nitpickery I'm not committing to just yet

Hela is a diva so her looks are completely defensible, and season one she has perhaps the steamiest skin choice

with Emma Frost slated to release soon, they'll have new sexy skins to put on her so have fun, straight boys

Mantis, Scarlet Witch, and Psylocke aren't too different from their comic/film appearances in terms of design. Psylocke has always been cheeks-out and that is barely altered here, whereas Wanda is pretty covered up for Wanda

Final Thought(s)

In a game where headshots matter, it's so funny how many characters have heads smaller than one of their pecs/boobs

[jake-g-lockley]

Lucky Charms (Steven Grant x reader)

Masterlist | Spotify Playlist | Want to be tagged?

A/N: Storytime! I was volunteering the other day and had a little special patient who jumped up at my counter. Picture of little Tefe at the end of this + some beautifully curated puns by the lovely Dellie Williams (@pakhiya). Thank you to @in-between-the-cafes for suggesting this and for all the lil ideas, my heart is literally so full as I write this. 

Word Count: 2 k

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Steven pursed his lips and stuffed the last of the cataloged items back onto the shelf. Oh, how he hated stock checking. He had to, Donna would be furious in the morning if he didn’t. He stepped back to admire his wall of souvenirs and sighed, finally done for the night.

He looked around him and the whole museum was dark, except for the spotlight that was illuminating him and his gift shop. He turned to stuff his belongings into his bag when suddenly a sound made him stop.

“I must just be tired innit?” he mumbled to no one in particular when the sound caught his ear again.

“Steven, I hear it too,” Marc’s voice echoed from inside of his head and Steven audiably gulped.

The last time Marc and he had heard a sound in the museum so late at night, it ended with Steven almost getting thrown into jail and sacked, not to mention almost ripped apart by an Egyptian Jackal.

“Hermano, we’re gonna break the table.” Jake’s soft voice hurled Steven back to reality as his hand unwillingly let go of the edge of the table he was gripping. The sound made Steven swivel his head as his eyes grew big with fear.

“Must just be an echo, look, I think it’s coming from our right.” Marc urged, trying his best to keep Steven calm. 

As Steven walked towards the centre of the museum, a gust of wind carded through his curls from the open entrance. Only then he noticed that it had started pouring outside. He watched the rain wash over the entrance of the museum for a while until the soft sound came again, this time a little louder. 

“Steven, look down.” Jake suddenly says, making Steven stop in his tracks.

There were tiny puddles of water that ended behind a statue in front of Steven. He mumbled a little prayer and tiptoed to the front of the statue, his eyes landing on a tiny bundle at its feet. Steven scrambled slightly, pulling his phone out of his pocket and turning on the flash as his eyes failed to register what the bundle was in the darkness. He shone his flashlight to the bundle, only to see wet orange and black fur was curled up.

“Guys! I think it's a kitten!” Steven whispered, earning a small meow from the kitten.

“Poor thing, it's all wet, must have crawled in because of the rain.” Steven’s eyes drew together as Jake spoke up, his voice a touch softer than it had even been when he was with the boys.

“Since when did you become soft?” Marc huffed and Steven chuckled softly, kneeling down. 

Steven pulled his handkerchief from his pocket, slowly wrapping it around the cat and picking it up. Big sad green eyes stared up at him and Steven swore that his heart physically broke a little. She had ears that were too big for her head and was shivering from the cold. Steven began to shush the kitten, rubbing her head with soft circles as he cradled her close.

“We should give you a name.” Steven whispered as the kitten meowed at him.

“No, Steven, no naming the cat, we don’t need another living thing to take care of, we have fish.” Marc rushed through his words, but Steven smartly pushed him to the front and Marc ended up face to face with the tiny wet kitten.

“Awe man, fuck you Steven, lets call her Angel.” he said softly, stroking her tiny paw.

“Don’t swear in front of the baby, dumbass.” Jake pushed forward and kissed her forehead. “I think we should call her Luna.”

“You guys wait, I know what we can name her.” Steven pushed forward once again, staring up at the statue before him. 

The goddess Tefnut stared down at Steven and he raised the kitten up so that her face was beside Tefnut’s. 

“Our little lioness, Tefnut, Tefe for short.” Steven sighed and the boys agreed enthusiastically in the back of his head. 

The kitten meowed again at Steven and he brought her to his chest, giving her his body warmth. 

“Alright, let's go home, shall we? A nice warm hot water bottle and a bowl of food should get you all happy.” he whispered softly to his new friend, walking towards his work station. 

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You let the spoon rest on your mouth and paused as you heard a large crash outside. Immediately, you grabbed your bowl of cereal and walked to the front door, swinging it open.

There stood your cute neighbour, Steven Grant. His hair and shirt were drenched from the rain and he was holding something in the crook of his arm and had an expression of pain on his face as he stared at the flowerpot he broke and the soil on his foot. 

“Fuc-shit sorry, did I wake you?” He whispered worriedly, his weight all on one foot as he leaned against his door.

You shook your head and he took note of the spoon in your mouth and cereal bowl in your hands, smiling through the pain that was edging in his foot. A small meow made your mouth drop open, the spoon falling out as your eyes dropped to the bundle in Steven’s arms. You stepped closer, crossing the threshold hesitantly, eyeing what looked like Steven’s jacket at the crook of his arm. Protectively, Steven stepped back until his whole back was flushed against the door.

Another meow sounded and you stared wide eyed up at Steven, caging him in, eyes scanning the bundle. A small paw popped out and you swooned, smiling at Steven before tickling the paw with your pinky. Steven couldn't move, not because a human in a huge snuggie holding a bowl of cereal was blocking his way, but because that human looked like an angel who was tickling his kitten’s paw.

“The simp is stuck again.” Jake murmured in the headspace and Marc stifled a giggle. 

Steven internally rolled his eyes and stared down at you as you unwrapped the little bundle without a word. Your fingers grazed his bare forearm and goosebumps made Steven shiver. 

“Awe, who are you sweet baby?” you cooed, clearly at the kitten but Steven looked up to the rickety ceiling hoping that the real Tefnut could hear how grateful he was from the universe beyond. 

He looked down just in time for you to search for his eyes again. You batted those dangerous eyelashes at him questioningly and Steven gulped again.

“I, uhh, she crawled into the museum and was wet and cold, couldn’t leave her there.” he mumbled and watched as you ran a finger along her nose. 

“You wanna come over to my place? I have a new hot water bottle.” you softly said and Steven was already peeling himself off his door to stand upright. 

You opened your door and ushered Steven inside. He kicked his wet shoes off and stood at the front, a little unsure, his arms still cradling the kitten protectively

You set the bowl of cereal aside and ran to the kitchen, turning the kettle on. You grabbed the laundry basket and lined it with two towels that were fresh out of the dryer. You went outside and set the basket on the table. Steven didn’t know what got into him but he nudged you and gestured for you to hold the kitten and place her into her basket. Steven stepped ultra close to you as his arms opened up and the kitten gently transferred into your arms. You stood there, staring at him while he looked on lovingly at the kitten, your heart swelling to the tune of his soft breaths as you bit your lip softly. 

“Pretty.” you say before you can stop yourself.

“Isn’t she?” Steven said without missing a beat.

“Ay dios mio.” sounded Jake’s voice at the back of his head and loud laughter echoing in his head, making Steven’s eyes snap to yours. 

Maybe it were the two men causing an absolute catastrophe in his head or maybe it was the way you were already looking at him that made Steven realise that you were not talking about the kitten in your arms. A red tinge creeped up Steven’s face and you turned around with the cat, smiling to yourself. You kissed the kitten’s forehead as you cooed gently, setting her into her new cot of towels. 

The kettle clicked off and you rushed past Steven to the kitchen. Steven’s eyes followed your quick feet and he found himself following you, leaning against the doorway and watching as you twirled around the kitchen. You pulled tea bags and mugs out of the cupboard and methodically started to make tea, saving some of the hot water to pour in the hot water bottle.

You didn’t notice Steven standing at the doorway until you turned to grab a smaller towel to wrap around the hot water bottle. You stared at the dazed expression he wore on his face and your eyes dropped to his lips were set, like flowers that were ready to be picked for offerings. You found yourself stepping closer to him as you took in his beautiful face. His hair was still dripping and his lashes curled magnificently, shielding his beautiful chocolate eyes. Suddenly, you felt his hands against yours and you blinked up at him.

“The kitten…” Steven whispered, breaking your spell. 

You yanked your hands away and left the bottle in his hands, turning to the tea and Steven grinned at your cuteness, skipping slightly as he walked back to where his Tefe was. 

A few minutes later, you came out carrying a new towel and a tray of things that you set down on the dining table. You handed the towel to Steven and set out a plate of biscuits and tea in front of him before taking the bowl of mashed sardines mixed with water and setting it in the kitten’s basket. She immediately crawled out of her warm dwelling and sniffed at the food you put out in front of her. You softly encouraged her and in a few seconds, she was going to town on the mashed fish.

“Lucky Charms?” Steven’s voice cut through the thick atmosphere.

“Hmm? Oh right, my late night snack.” you said, clicking your tongue and smiled.

Steven smiled at you and couldn’t help but think that he had found his lucky charm and it was now noisily licking fish off a plate. 

“Thought of any names?” you asked Steven softly, not taking your eyes off the hungry kitten 

“Tefnut, or Tefe for short. Like the goddess of moisture and rainfall.” He answered softly.

“Interesting. Any reason?” you turned to him and your heart quickened. 

“Well, it's a real coincidence really, we- I found her under the statue of Tefnut and it’s well, raining.” You knew Steven was itching to say more but was holding back nervously.

“Come on, tell me more.” you pushed on and Steven’s eyes lit up.

You both spent hours like that, taking turns holding little Tefe and her new hot water bottle, talking about everything under the light of the moon that was slowly emerging out of the storm’s clouds. 

You didn’t know how you ended up on the couch, your head in Steven’s lap, slowly waking up as the sun’s rays tickled your eyes. You sat up to see the kitten curled up against Steven’s neck, Steven’s eyes pleasantly closed as he snored softly. You gently kissed the kitten and turned to look at Steven before kissing him on the cheek too. 

You sit up a little more to look past Steven, grinning at your boss who was sitting at your dining table. Her cat eyes sent a wink your way and you blushed at the little trick she had played after you spent hours ranting about Steven to her. You look back down at Khonshu’s avatar and kissed him once more on his forehead before getting up and starting your day, letting him sleep in a little more.

Steven swore that he could feel something soft touch his forehead and his eyes fluttered open moments after you left the room, leaving your signature dewy and monsoon scent in your wake as the little kitten snuggled closer into his neck.

Bonus: @pakhiya’s puns and Tefe baby 🥺

Tagging: @fandxmslxt69 @randomnessfangirl @in-between-the-cafes @bodhisattva11 @marc-spectors-wife @nyotamalfoy @steven-grants-world @jbearre85 @whatsliferightnow @excitedcurtain864 @minigirl87 @wonderfulboiledcoldpotato @autismsupermusicalassassin @alexxavicry @flordelalunas @marygraceee @lia275 @euphoricosmo @sky-robin @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @celiaswife @violet-19999 @melodygatesauthor @romanarose @swiggy-needs-mental-help @ghostheartbeat @kierramofficial @ryebreadsworld @your-voice-is-mellifluous @lil-stark @absolutelybloodyhopeless @mintpurplemnm

Reblogs are appreciated ~~~

[rimzieiei]

JUST WATCHED THE 4.6 TRAILER IM SO NORMAL……

im wondering if sethos has some inspirations from seth (the egyptian god of war, the desert, and disorder) considering he has “seth” in his name and i know how hoyo loves their puns + his full name meaning “name of a prince” and seth being a prince of the gods in a lot of myths !!!

also, seth is associated with canine animals and sethos hair looks sorta like ears (coping)

im both disappointed and happy that theres no alhaitham or nilou rerun </3 i need way more time to save in order to get both of them . not sure if ill pull for arlecchino or not

[disaster-magician]

Don't mind me, just yapping and organizing my thoughts about my olnf mcs! Specifically step 1 for now, will probably do step 2 soon though bc I love writing and talking about them 😊

Nova Grace "Gracie" Woods! She currently identifies as a girl and uses She/Her. (Nova was my second requested voiced name for the ks after my irl name, so hopefully it makes it in!)

A nervous wreck about pretty much everything. Bffs with Tamarack and has a crush on Qiu, though she hasn't realized it yet! She prefers not to talk a lot and communicates mostly through ASL(she and Opal are fluent) or writing.

Very short, probably a good inch or two shorter than Tama. She is half Black on Opal's side and half Native Hawaiian from her donor. Her hair is actually dark blue and not brown like how the doll maker currently makes it look. Qiu probably thought she was exaggerating when she said she falls a lot, and very quickly finds out she was not. She's very rarely without a bandage or two at this age.

Her favorite color is teal, or really any shade of blue. She's autistic and has a special interest in space, and is usually wearing something with a design or pattern around that. She loves playing in the woods, especially with her two best neighbors 😊

Annabeth "Beck" Estrella Hyyde! She was born intersex and AFAB, and currently uses She/Her. (Annabeth was my third requested voiced name, so we'll see if that ends up in there lol)

A very outgoing and hyperactive kid, Beck loves anything to do with the outdoors or making new friends. She has a crush on Tamarack and is good friends with Qiu. It doesn't show on the doll, but she has a white streak in the front of her hair from her vitiligo. (She's the one holding Tama in my profile pic!)

She is Afro-Latina with Dominican roots. She was born in the US but moved to and around South America as a baby and young kid before Opal's job took them back to the states when she was 8. Spanish is her first language and English is her second.

She currently has undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia and struggles in school even though she always tries her best. I feel like Mrs. Murray would be the type to recognize effort and desire to learn, plus she's still in elementary so her grades wouldn't be bad. In later steps this is not necessarily the case unfortunately.

Although she loves all sports, soccer is the coolest and her most favorite. She can juggle it 40 times in a row without dropping it, just watch! Her favorite color is rainbow, or maybe cranberry like her and her Mamá's hair.

Elijah "Eli" Othello Anderson. He currently identifies as a boy and uses He/Him. He's Black and doesn't know(aka I haven't decided) much about his heritage. I am on the fence about his current hair color and might change or tweak it a bit.

One of the most laid back and breezy kids you'll ever meet. He just wants to have fun and make new friends! He's got a pun or other terrible joke ready at any given moment so watch out.

He does have a bad habit of putting others before himself, much to the disappointment of his Mama. Is it really such a bad thing that he wants to make other people happy?

He finds something of a kindred soul in Qiu in that way. They just get each other in a way most other kids don't. They're clearly destined to be best friends, or maybe even more. He has a soft spot for Tam too, hopefully they'll all be good friends forever.

Cassiopeia "Cassie" Lotus Aoki-Jones. She identifies as a girl and has since she was six and currently uses She/Her. Her mom has Egyptian heritage and her donor was half Japanese.

More than anything, Cassie is mad. She doesn't want to move away from her old friends and life, especially to a place surrounded by dirty and icky woods. Why couldn't she and her annoying Mom just stay where they were?

No one else here even knows about roller skating, or butterflies, or anything cool. Sigh, at least there's a ballet class where she can show off her skills.

Most things here are pretty bad, but the two neighbors her age are pretty okay. Both of them are nice and sweet and pretty... what was she saying again?

[thequeer07puss]

Puns

The fact that the Egyptians liked puns and that they were used in a religious context is so funny to me, and I think we should reinstate it.

"What's lost in translation, though, are the puns in this unusual story. 'Shu' sounds similar to the Egyptian word for "sneeze", yshysh, (which resembles the noise most of us make when we sneeze) and may also be an ancient Egyptian euphemism for ejaculating. Likewise, 'Tefnut' is similar to their word for spitting. Today, we groan whenever we hear a pun of this caliber, but to the ancients such similar-sounding words were never coincidence. Instead, they often suggested a hidden meaning" - Sharon LaBorde, Following the Sun**

It's so funny that the people who say things like "words are magic, that's why it's called spelling" and people who make puns are closer to the Egyptians than those who don't. Embrace puns. Be with the gods.

*In a modern context the story could be written like that

Nun: we need a name for this brand new deity concept, what are we going to call it?

Atum: We'll call it - wait a minute- ACHOO!!

Shu: *appears**

[oldhalloweentape]

🪨Venture (OW II) x (fem) reader ⛏️

(Gyaru Reader Edition!)

(Picture’s not mine!)

(Request here! This kind of fashion is so cute, good, and creative, seriously don’t understand the hate.)

- When y’all first met they were so amazed by you, I mean you looked like you strutted straight out of the 1990s and 2000s, in a good way of course.

- Getting together entails them wanting to be as helpful as possible, as well as taking the time to admire all the work you put in your style. You have them wrapped around your finger.

- An obvious one is that they buy you stuff all the time, absolutely gushing over how you look whenever you wear the stuff they give you— Clapping their hands excitedly when you pose and give them a twirl or two when you first put the stuff on.

- Stares at you intently when you’re doing your makeup, giggling when you give them a look because their staring is distracting as all hell.

- If you want to practice on a face that isn’t your own, they will happily volunteer! I think they’d look cute with Gyaru makeup on!

- Excitably tells you things about historical facts about makeup like, “You know— Egyptians used to apply their eyeliner with a thin painting brush! Though the way you do it is way prettier!”

- They’d also let you do their hair, and be over the moon with the final product every time <3.

-Do yours in return. Not as great as you do it but they still do a pretty good job (cause like, look at their hair, fluffy and healthy while digging holes and just being dirty in general, they know how to take care of hair).

- Eats up any information they can, a given really, but I can see them reading a crap ton of magazines like Egg, PopSister, etc.

- In general when it comes to what you like, they are hungry for any information about it. They want to understand it and understand it they shall.

- Will get you matching accessories (gem or history themed ofc), there’s no doubt about that, it’s absolutely adorable.

- Thinks the music tied to Gyaru fashion is just so good in general that they immediately want to make a playlist with you so they can listen more to it.

- Whenever they hold hands with you they will absentmindedly play with any little charms or gems on your nails, running their fingers over them— Enjoying the grooves and bumps as they walk alongside you.

- Speaking about walking together, it’s definitely a sight seeing such different people walking hand in hand. Like, there’s you, tanned skin, phenomenal makeup, long manicured nails, white fluffy boots that almost go up to your knees, nice baby pink ruffled skirt with a cheetah print belt, a short white frilly shirt, and a small soft pink fuzzy coat with cheetah prints on it as well— Just all nice and glammed up while….

- There’s Sloane, looking like Adam Sandler, with a baseball cap, basketball shorts, and some random shirt that has a lame ass rock pun on it. And we love them for that.

- A funny ass sight in my honest opinion—

- Anyways, if anyone starts bad mouthing you and your fashion, especially if they call it “trashy”, they’re going to give them one warning before bopping them on the head.

- The amount of disrespect and negativity other people have for Gyaru fashion is just so crazy to Venture.

- From what they’ve seen from both you and other people who partake in it, y’all are so pretty and fashionable! If you ever get discouraged you can always count on this rock muncher being your number one fan.

- Says things along the lines of “You look absolutely breathtaking sweetness! You put the most precious gems to shame, sucks that some people have their brains submerged in the Earth's mantle like them.”

(I hope I gave you guys justice with this one! Love y’all!! 💋)