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sirserpentine · 7 months ago
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The three eggs all seemed to get re-wired at the start of the song. AJ's messy munches halted and his eyes flew upward to look at Alastor's less than cheerful performance. Fred slowly drifted back to sleep and his fingers no longer clutched at Alastor's bowtie in desperation. Felix went about his business behind the door in silence, though he sometimes hummed along to the jazzy song.
And at the front door of the hotel stood Sir Pentious, already returned from his outing. The engineering issues at the district he had been summoned to had been a surprisingly easy fix. There was no work left to do tomorrow... well, today, and though Pentious could have stayed the night as it was already so late, he much preferred the comfort of his own bed. And so here he was.
He slithered in quietly, not wanting to wake up anyone upstairs or conked out in the lounge. He'd just have a quick visit to the kitchen for a drink of water and then...
Pentious forgot his plan at the sight that greeted him on the floor at the kitchen's doorway. Eggshells. Broken eggshells.
No. NO!
The trail of eggshells led to the corridor and Pentious hastily followed it with anxiety and anger firing in his veins. What a fool he was, he thought as he picked up the pieces belonging to... probably Frank, he was most prone to being cracked. Eugh, fixing him would take aeons! Pentious shouldn't have trusted The Radio Demon with his minions! The fact that the eggs hadn't perished during their first outing must've merely been a stroke of luck! By Her Majesty's Frock, hopefully the other demon hadn't thought to eat his poor eggies.
Pentious wouldn't make the same mistake again. He would never, ever ever let Alastor look after his minions and-
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...Sing to them?
Pentious and his dozens of eyes could only gawk at the sight in front of them. Alastor held one of his darling minions in his arms in a delicate bundle, singing a lullaby as another egg sat at his heels. Pentious blinked once. Twice. That was really Alastor, wasn't it?
The sound of the toilet getting flushed broke the idyllic tranquillity. The following flow of water as Felix washed his hands in the bathroom only strengthened the awkwardness.
"Aw crap-" AJ suddenly gasped as he noticed his serpent boss standing near them. He tried to hide the rest of the eggshells behind his back, but the crumbs around his mouth gave him away. Pentious squinted at him.
And that's all it took for AJ, who hurried off into the direction of Pentious' room with no further urging needed. Soon Felix emerged from behind the door.
"Yes they will light my way tonight Because I'll see you in my dreaaaams-" He sang without care, fully aware that he wasn't supposed to be doing that at night when it was time to quietly rest instead. But Boss wasn't here! And the New Boss didn't know that, so there was no problem right? He could do anything, he could even-
Beady eyes suddenly caught a glimpse of a very familiar tail. And upon that tail stood the figure of Boss himself, hands placed on his hips in assertion and eyebrows knowingly raised. Felix blinked, his sharp mouth compressed in a surprised, O-kind of shape.
Pentious didn't need to say more than one word before Felix scurried off in the same direction as AJ.
"Bed."
Pentious nodded to himself with a huff as his naughty minion disappeared into the shadows of the corridor. Then his red eyes turned back to Alastor and the bundled heap in his arms. It was a far more cute sight than he would have ever imagined walking into. And surprising, too.
Fred was... peacefully asleep?
"...Hello, Alastor," the serpent spoke carefully, slithering forward to point at the sleeping egg. "I susssspect Fred has been fussy, hasn't he? I'm... impressed. Usually he doesn't cease wailing until very late if he is."
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This was it. He was going insane. Finally.
Foot lifted when egg shells were dribbled onto his shoe to lightly dust it free of them. Bothered. But not wanting to make such a grand gesture of doing so in order to keep from waking Fred who seemed to grow fussier, the more this ridiculous scene kept going on.
"No, I am not. The heels are a stylistic choice."
Not even certain why he graced the question with a response. Maybe he was starting to think like an egg.
Would not surprise him.
At the request for a song, Alastor could only wither. What did that MEAN??? He would need to have a serious conversation with Pentious about the sheer amount of babying that was going on with these tiny little cretins. They were not self-sufficient enough for Alastor to even consider keeping an eye on them for more than two or three minutes at a time.
At some point, with Fred's continuous whining and grasping at him, Alastor gave up entirely and, with a sigh, began to allow the staff - wherever it was in the metaphysical space - begin to play a quiet, jazzy tune which he began to sing along with, though his heart was not quite in it.
Not when his audience was just the eggs.
"Lips that once were mine, tender eyes that shine..."
If he were lucky, the song would put all three of them out.
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udemy-gift-coupon-blog · 6 years ago
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safari-mamamari · 8 years ago
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01/03
late friendsmas
was supposed to go ice skating but we all left late LMAO
tyler mall + royal orchid thai restaurant
o’ tea time
CUTE BOYZ
10/10 music
olive green nmds
shanie’s house
crying during gift exchange
white elephant
smoked dat gud gud
munchiez
convos ????? wtf
sleeps over even tho i’m not allowed to
01/04
woke up still gone
eggz 4 breakfast
eating mochi not knowing there were peanuts in it
kathleen dies bc allergic
yuri on ice
goes home 4pm
mom kills me
youth
movie: lifted
in n out + arra
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ddrkirbyisq · 6 years ago
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You are given the task of seeding the following melee doubles tournament.  How do you seed the tourney and who do you think will ultimately take home the gold?
Mango + Stango
Amsa + Amsah
Axe + Hax
Tai + Taj
Cyrain + Darkrain
Silent Wolf + SilentSpectre
Darkatma + Darktooth
Ice + Iceman
Eggz + Eggm
Bob$ + Rob$
Toph + Tope
Flippy + Flipsy
KJH + KDJ
NMW + HMW
Shroomed + Hungrybox (aka "Da Juans")
PPU + PPMD (aka "Team Kevin")
Ka-Master + FalcoMaster3000
Westballz + Wes (DA Wes)
Price Abu + King Momo
Drunksloth + Druggedfox
Fiction + TheRealThing
Squid + Duck
...I spent more time on this than I'd like to admit.
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sirserpentine · 6 months ago
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"No, no. Don't worry, darling, not at all," Pentious whispered. The white hands clutching his were so cold, so desperate. He discarded Angel's sodden towel to a minion nearby, who swiftly folded it and took it away to be washed. Then, Pentious joined his other hand in Angel's close proximity, rubbing his iced palms to warm them up. "You'll feel better soon, I promise," he said.
The end of his tail raised up to pull Angel's blanket over his legs and stomach and he freed one of his hands once more to pull up the other Sinner's pillows. He tucked them against the headboard, so that Angel could eventually recline partially seated, to drink and eat easily. But there was no rush for all that.
Pentious leaned in, letting his hand drop again to carefully wrap around the Sinner's shoulder and stroke Angel's hair. The hug was only a slight one and Pentious would let it tighten and spread more warmth to Angel's body only if he was allowed to.
A little ways off, Fred had reached the calmly sleeping figure that was Angel's pet, Fat Nuggets. To a such a small egg, the creature looked a tad threatening, even asleep. Fred shook slightly in place and fidgeted with his little hands before he carefully poked the hell-pig's cheek.
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"M-mister Fit Buckets," Fred whimpered, trying and failing to harness an authoritative tone, "Your Boss needs you, so please come." The egg pointed his little hand towards the bed. "And don't eat me, okay?"
Pentious joining Angel on the bed barely made a dent in the spider's awareness, his words of reassurance passing straight through him with little impact. It wasn't until the claws of the serpent made contact with his own trembling fist that his head snapped up to meet the eyes of his companion, his own wide and startled while Pen's were... perhaps not calm, but solemn and steady. Responsive. Angel, much as it pained him to admit, needed help, and Sir Pentious was offering it to him.
The moment the pressure of Pen's hand on his own lifted, Angel reached out instinctively to follow it. Disregarding the soggy towel that he had been stroking in an attempt to self-soothe, two of his hands grasped the snake's in a tight, desperate plea.
The warm, surprisingly soft (clawed tips aside) hands of Sir Pentious proved a far more effective grounding tool than the sad, used towel, Angel found, still staving off choked breaths in handfuls. His friend's words were a touch easier to focus on now, as though their physical connection through Angel's squeezing hands offered some form of psychic link.
Following basic instructions was the extent of Angel's capability, as things stood, so he was relieved that Pentious was keeping things simple. Straight-forward as his suggestions were, the task of slowing his breathing felt impossible. Clutching his friend's hand like a lifeline and still half-convinced something was terribly wrong, Angel attempted a shuddering inhale.
His breath stuttered as he did his best to hold it before the serpent instructed the exhale and he blew out all his air like a deflating balloon. Immediately, he gasped another breath, this time succeeding in holding it a little longer. The next exhale was not quite so rapid - steadily, he followed along with the serpent's pattern and encouraging words until his breathing unwound like a coil relaxing, measured and tolerable as his heart rate slowed in tow.
Exhausted, the spider dropped his head to rest against his hands, still holding Pen's insistently. His body was still aching, but at least he no longer felt as though his heart was about to pop. He vaguely heard Sir Pentious mention something about his "pet" to a nearby egg, a softness overcoming him at the thought of his dear piggy.
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"Sorry," Angel managed to mutter shamefully, his head still bowed. "I mean... thank you. I... didn't mean ta... I didn't mean any a' this," he heaved out. His mind was still hazy, but at least he seemed to be able to communicate.
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pasteljoons · 8 years ago
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april 26 – hahahahha sobrang funny this day pota so umaga nag eggz ako 2 ata tas croissant hahahaha tas kape!! tapos sunod nyan aloe vera drink tas sunod mga after na nung roadtest exam AHAHAHA so bali ayun... kumain ako sausage roll dalawa tas ung mga natirang brownies hahahaah la na baon si seb yaan mo sya hahahaha tas kung ano ano pa di q na maalala huhu ung natirang ice cream na lasang peanut butter sobrang onti lang HAHAHAHA tas seaweeds w rice huhu sarap tapos....... ano pa ba huhu feel ko dami pa??? ung chicken mga dalawa at kalahati w gravy kahit sobra alat na nung chicken jusko HAHAHAHA tas yan lang ata??? ewan ahahahah
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sirserpentine · 6 months ago
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Boss had been so worried all day. Frank didn't understand why seeing their flatmate's room perfectly cleaned had made his Boss borderline panic. He had already looked out of sorts the day before, and been particularly invested in the goings of the other Sinner. Frank didn't understand what the problem was. It was quiet in the house without Angel, and didn't Boss like it when everyone was quiet and he could concentrate on work? Wouldn't a little break like this be perfect?
But Frank had been given a task and would not question it any further than quietly in his little mind. Boss had sent him and all the other eggs in every possible direction to look for Angel Dust, while he had done the same. Some nearer to the Hotel, some farther.
And now Frank was here. He had followed all sorts of clues and eventually the candy shop scent that told him that the spider was somewhere near.
It was him! The spider demon that looked like Nissie but wasn't Nissie sat on this very rooftop. Frank was about to walk up to the Sinner, but then remembered the most important part of what Boss had asked him to do. The egg dug out his phone from a pocket that was so large that it took half of his suit. Clumsy, quick fingers wrote a message to the Serpent, his number right there as the first one on his list of contacts.
Hey he is on the roof. sharing location love u boss ❤️
Then Frank decided to chase his first instinct and walked towards the edge of the roof until he stood next to the Sinner. The sight surprised him. Why was Angel sad? Why was he holding the pipe of a gun to his face? Didn't he know that was dangerous?
Frank's little eyes looked at the Sinner a moment longer, before raising a tiny hand to touch his leg.
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"What are you doing, Boss?"
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Alright, alright, a bunch of you told me to just go at it soooo. I'm putting it under a read more. Also very large trigger warning, this entire starter relates to suicide, mental health (specifically PTSD), trauma, etc. This is an open starter, so please reply if you want to and feel comfortable handling really intense mental health struggles.
There was honestly no point anymore. That was it, mic drop, curtain closed. I'm sick of the poison, wish I had something to live for tomorrow. The thing was, he wasn't even certain if he did. He had been in Hell a long time, pushing triple the amount of years that he was alive. It hadn't seemed so bad....at first. Hell, in some odd sort of way, was more comforting than his living years. At least down here he got to be himself, no judgment, because everyone else was on #teamdebauchery as well.
The lifestyle had been beyond fun at first. It had even been fun when he had met Valentino. Valentino, who had appeared like some fucking Greek God (or, Latino God, should he say?) and swept him off his feet. Found value in him, didn't mind his bad habits, told him he was beautiful and wanted. If he had known then what he had known now - well, he didn't know if he would have left with Val after his shift at Club 666.
It had still been a decade or so before the contract was signed. And then everything started to get messy. The drugs were never enough to numb it, the hundreds of men could never fill the aching pain in his heart. Between all three Vees, Angel had had to leave. Val, for the most obvious reasons. But he knew when he didn't belong somewhere, when he wasn't wanted. That had been his whole experience being Henroin's son. And he could only stand so many thrown slurs and insults before he would lose it.
He had when he was alive, after all. He had found solace in death.
And maybe, just maybe, that had been what had landed him here. Sitting on top of the roof on the edge of Pentagram City, between the Magne District and Cannibal Town. It was far enough away from the Entertainment District owned by the Vees, or the Mafia and Weapon district where he might run into family. Far enough away from the hotel.
The hotel. His friends. His chosen family. He loved them, but he couldn't say he knew if they felt the same. All they knew of him was the fake persona he put on, the show he performed every day. A bullshit lie, starring the one and only Angel Dust! Cue the fake applause track. He had done it to himself, of course. He would rather be rejected for an image of who he was, then be rejected for his true self. He'd already had that happen too many times. By his dad and brother. By Valentino.
Charlie, she cared, but she cared about everyone. But ever since Pentious had moved into the hotel, she had seemed to put less attention in her first and only patron. He didn't blame the serpent, but it had driven him into a further spiral. Valentino was right - addict trash like him never changed. No matter how much he tried, and put in genuine effort, it wasn't going to matter. At the end of the day, he still sucked dick for a living. He still hid cocaine under his mattress.
And of course there was Husk. Husk, who Angel had started to fall for, even though it terrified him. Love was terrifying. But Husk had always pushed away his advances. Seemed annoyed by him. Uninterested. Maybe their little 'moment' had changed things, but it hadn't seemed like it did. While Husk smiled at him more and seemed more proud of him, Husk still had said he was tired of Angel being fake. And the sad thing? Husk had probably been who he was most real towards. Flirting or otherwise, it was because he had....wanted to try. With him.
This all led to here. He of course had tied all possible loose ends, or so he thought. He had cleaned out his room, the neon lights and pictures and fluffy purple pillows shoved into boxes, looking like he had just decided to move out without a word. Given up. Maybe he had. Fat Nuggets had been the hardest. It hurt his heart to leave his hellpig behind, but Nuggets deserved a better mom than him anyways. He had left a note for Charlie, not about his plans, but secured under Nuggets' collar. Please take care of him. xoxo Angie
Short, simple. He knew she would, too. Just like she did for Keke, for Razzle and Dazzle. Getting the angelic weapon had been the easiest part. Valentino's cabinet was stuffed with them. While Angel didn't have the money to get one on his own, it was incredibly easy to take one from Val. One would think it wouldn't be, but despite their rocky relationship, Valentino trusted Angel. He knew Angel still loved him, and would never do anything to hurt him. Not to mention that by contract, he couldn't.
Valentino would notice one of his guns missing eventually, but it would be too late by then. He had thought nothing could possibly be worse than being alive. Now he felt like nothing could possibly be worse than being dead. And double dead? That was the only unknown. Though surely, nothing could possibly be bad when ceasing to exist. He would never know it. He'd be gone. Nothing. Just like he felt in that moment.
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He flipped off the safety, taking a deep breath. He knew how to do this - guns were his specialty, he'd killed so many people before. But fuck if this wasn't scary. When he had died, it hadn't been intentional. Maybe it had been unconsciously - he had wanted to die, and he had taken just too many drugs, more than he knew he could handle. He had slipped into the coma, and he had never woken back up. This was different. This he had to actively pull the trigger. Angel didn't consider himself weak, but he hated how his hands were shaking in that moment.
Hammer pulled back, gun cocked, he looked over Pentagram City one last time. In an eerie way, it was beautiful. He didn't belong amongst any of the good here. An angel he was not, despite his namesake. No, he was just Anthony. Scared. Alone. Nothing. Worthless. He had to shake his head to snap out of it, knowing the best aim - gun positioned right underneath his chin, angled so that he wouldn't fuck it up and end up suffering until he died of blood loss. Finger on the trigger. It would be okay....it would be okay....it would all be over in just three....two....
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sirserpentine · 7 months ago
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"You've got it, Boss!" Frank replied with a salute. He began to go over his controls one by one. First, he pointed to a screen hanging on top of the panel.
"You can find the target with this," he explained. "It shows you if it's in range or not. This button launches the laser beams. They can cut through buildings and stuff. This one opens the latch for dropping flyers. This one puts the kettle on, for tea. And you can charge the death ray with this one. The launch is behind a safety latch, because it's the most dangerous weapon. We drop bombs after exterminations from the back of the ship to clear possible turfs, but we um, we need to do the evacuation warnings first. So we also have a megaphone thing so Boss's voice can be loud and everyone hears him. Can you pet me again?"
"Gross. No. A loser like you could turn me hetero." He gave Pen a light shove and started a slow walk around the bridge, sipping his tea, looking everything over. Pentious was a real enigma: a moron, yet an undeniable genius. Smart, yet so fucking dumb. What cruel mercy allowed him to survive over a century in Hell?
"Frank." The hornet buzzed over to the egg at the controls. "Talk me through the weapons of this war machine. I've seen lasers and missiles 'n shit, show me how it all works." Gulping down the rest of his tea, he handed his empty cup to another egg.
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sirserpentine · 7 months ago
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Fred continued whining, though he wasn't crying yet, seemingly soothed enough by Alastor's rocking. His little eyes squinted more shut in agitation as his Boss made haste towards the nearest bathroom, however.
Felix jogged beside the Radio Demon in clear agony and and AJ sauntered behind the group, leaving behind a trail of eggshell shards as he ate his snack. He seemed the most unbothered over the chaos.
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As soon as the door to the bathroom opened, Felix ran inside and slammed it shut behind him, quipping out an out-of-breath "Thanks, Boss!" as he did.
AJ took the moment to peer at Alastor's feet and he poked at them with his finger, a few egg crumbs dropping onto the Sinner's shoes.
"Why do you wear high heels, Boss?" he asked, ogling at Alastor's fabulous attire of choice. "Are you a Boss Lady, after all?" "Boss?" A voice from behind the bathroom door interjected. It was Felix, again. "Boss... can you sing a song so I know how long I need to sit on the loo?" Fred still whimpered, his hand reaching up to clutch at Alastor's bowtie.
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He had been wrong. Living in Hell for ninety-something years had not quite been enough time for him to truly experience eternal punishment and suffering.
Until now.
Another voice in his ear had him turning his head to peer at the third egg that was now awake and out of 'bed', opening his mouth to respond before the sound of the crack nearby that signified AJ's rather inordinate attempt to free the boiled egg from its shell interrupted him. And then the egg so wrapped in his arms was beginning to wake.
Alastor did not often get frazzled.
A first time for everything.
"Not allowed to- You can't reach the door?" In his arms, he gave Fred a slightly gentle rock back and forth in the way that he'd often seen mothers doing to fussy babies. Where had he plucked that knowledge from? Who knew. But he needed to not have an egg calamity on his hands if he could help it.
He pointed at AJ vehemently with a claw.
"If you're not allowed to do that, stop it."
But he did not stick around to try and force the egg to, stepping over with haste, even as he continued to lightly rock the egg in his arms to try and get to the bathroom door to open it for the third egg.
At this point, he was considering simply gathering all of them up and cooking them himself.
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sirserpentine · 8 months ago
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"Fred is not my sibling, Boss," AJ said rather intently. "We're from, um, we're from a different batch. And I wouldn't really eat him, Boss. I'd only taste him a little bit."
Keen yellow eyes followed the preparation of the egg and they seemed to gleam at the sight of it dropping into the bowl. Alastor was doing a decent job as a babysitter. AJ had no complaints, fortunately.
"Boss!" Suddenly rang a new voice, quite loud for the late hour. "Boss, Francis snores too loudly-" the owner of the voice, Felix, squealed, pointing vehemently towards the corridor and jogging in place. "Also, I need to go to the bathroom, but I can't reach the door when everyone else is asleep and won't help. Quickly, Boss!"
The sounds of the minion in trouble started to stir Fred, who began to softly whine and toss in Alastor's lap, his slumber growing weaker. This wasn't helped by the sound of AJ crushing the shell of his small egg on the floor and cracking the broken bits and pieces in his hand whilst he stared at Fred.
"Boss, AJ is not allowed to do that," Felix gasped, looking at the shells spread on the floor. "And Boss, I really need to go!"
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"I think he has quite the right idea, not allowing you to cook your sibling up for a treat." He glanced down at the bundle in his arms, only allowing AJ to lay a brief hand on the sleeping egg before Alastor was angling him away. No need to have two eggs up and about, thank you. He would keep Fred nice and warm while he moved to find a spoon somewhere within one of the drawers.
Once found, he would use it to move the smaller egg about in the pot. Until enough time had passed that he assumed the thing would be well and boiled - hopefully to the correct temperature, lest the larger egg complain about its cook.
With the spoon, he'd scoop it out and use more of his tendrils to retrieve a small bowl in which to place it.
"Let it cool. I'll not be responsible for you burning your mouth."
He could get some ice water to drop it in, but Alastor was already quite bothered that he'd had to participate in this routine at all. AJ would simply need to be patient.
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sirserpentine · 8 months ago
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"Almost every night," AJ confirmed, using the kitchen drawers to climb over to the countertop to see his nightly treat popped into the pot.
"Last week Boss didn't let me have one," he admitted, keen eyes turning from the water to the heap in Alastor's arms.
"I dunno why. We were just playing. I was just pretending to boil Fred in the tub. Fred jumped in when I asked him to. I didn't know he couldn't swim." A soft smile widened on the minion's lips as the water on the stove began boiling the much tinier chicken egg.
"It was just a game. Poor Fred."
A twiggy hand reached out in an attempt to pet the shell of the more recent egg boi, still snuffling and blissfully unaware of his surroundings.
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...There was something wrong with this one.
Alastor concluded it no sooner than AJ had proclaimed that his snack was closely aligned with supposed sibling. What had Pentious done to make this one come out even stranger than the others? Alastor could only surmise any number of guesses and none seemed to make much sense.
Just like their existence in general.
"...If you insist."
Alastor set about putting a pot of water onto the nearby stove - a difficult task when one arm was filled with Fred's wrapped form. He opted, after a moment to utilize a few of his own eldritch tendrils to get the job done while keeping the egg safely snuggled. Ridiculous, really, that he had to do this at all. But soon, the water was boiling and the chosen egg was taken from AJ and lightly set into the water. All that was left then was to wait.
"...He does this for you often, does he?" He asked, rather dully, as he leaned against the nearby counter, leveling his stare down at the other egg who seemed to be far too awake for his own good.
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sirserpentine · 7 months ago
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"Heheheee, thank you. I fixed Vox once..." Pentious mumbled almost inaudibly. Why had it never worked out beyond that with the Vees, again? It had been close, as he recalled. Maybe Sir Pentious was a bit too old-fashioned for their tastes. A shame. Velvette and he could make some killer outfits if they worked together. And weapons, too.
Maybe, the fact that he wasn't yet an Overlord was a deal-breaker as well. Maybe they didn't want to associate with a common Sinner beyond those enslaved within their contracts.
"That's me, Boss!" it was Frank who spoke yet again, puffing out his proud little chest.
"The number is three!" he continued, "And we got a little turf!"
It wasn't very impressive considering that Pentious had been in tens upon tens of battles ever since coming to Hell. Which was over a hundred years ago.
"Boss never gives up," Frank continued, admiring glance pointed towards his loopy master. "But maybe he should, to be honest."
Buzz couldn't help but laugh at the snake's awful hand-eye coordination. "Just... just sit down, Pen. Your brain's all loopy." He took the other cup and slowly sipped. Not bad; he wasn't big on tea, much preferring coffee, but this would be good on a rainy evening.
"Y'know, you really are a genius, Pen. I mean, you built this airship, the eggs, perfectly loyal minions... so why are you so dumb when it comes to combat? You'd do well just being an inventor. You came down here before a lot of the big tech names of Hell, your name oughta be on plenty of products, but you throw it all away picking on Overlords way bigger than you."
The hornet's wings started buzzing, lifting him a few feet off the ground as he turned around to address the rest of the crew. "Hey, which one of you guys is the oldest? How many battles has this noodle been in that he's won?"
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sirserpentine · 8 months ago
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AJ didn't seem too disappointed as he was denied a beverage. The eggs were what he had come for, after all. He tottered over to the fridge as told, opened the door and climbed up two rows to reach a carton, which he then jumped back down with. He opened it on the floor, letting the light of the still-open fridge illuminate his evaluation. The round minion took out an egg one by one, turning them in his hand and humming in concentration.
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"This looks like Fred the most," AJ eventually said, holding out one of the many tiny eggs to compare it with the swaddled heap in Alastor's arms.
"So that's the one I want," he continued. "You can boil it for me, Boss. But I can break the shell myself."
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"No you may not."
Alarming how fast (and... creepy????) this little egg was; Alastor had been made to adjust his pace somewhat to keep up until they could both enter the kitchen and the overlord could ideally redirect the egg's interest to what he'd insisted on coming for in the first place.
Reaching down, he plucked the bottle opener from the egg's hand and set it down on the counter before pointing with free hand over to the fridge, ensuring that the hold he had on Fred's swaddled form did not falter.
"Find the egg you want. Can you manage that, or shall I do that for you as well?"
Testy in his attitude. The sooner he could get this ridiculous egg fed (with another egg, no less), the better.
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sirserpentine · 9 months ago
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"Yeah, the ones in a carton with a chicken's picture on," AJ replied, completely oblivious to the Radio Demon's confusion. Of course he liked eating eggs, who didn't?
But maybe this Red Boss didn't know what they tasted like, if he was more keen on eating demon corpses. Poor Boss. Maybe AJ would give him a half of his boiled egg.
"I woulda' eaten earlier but Frank got poached," maybe he could've resorted to eating Frank a little bit, since he was even properly prepared in the washing machine but the other eggs wouldn't let him.
"I guess you're right, Boss," he said, not settling back down to sleep, but instead toddling himself up. "I can go do it myself. I mean, how hard can boiling an egg be? The 'fact' that most domestic accidents happen in the kitchen is a lie created by the fast food industry anyway," he continued, already walking towards the door and the dark hallway.
AJ turned back to regard his boss and the blissfully sleeping egg in his hold with another wide smile, partially obscured by the shadows of the corridor.
"You can't put Fred down anyway. He'd wake up and cry."
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And so he was stuck. With Fred on his lap and the other eggs scattered around him, even absconding into shadow meant that the egg currently using him as a pillow would drop to the floor. And no doubt it would cause a chain reaction of upset that he was not interested in addressing.
Alastor was rather blasé about their little good nights to one another - except that strange bit of over-the-top affection that Fred in particular was trying to subject him to. Eugh. All he could offer was a slight pat on the egg's shell in return. Yes, yes. Sleep.
The silence persisted and Alastor took the opportunity to just lose himself in his own thoughts for a few moments -
Until said thoughts were interrupted, his head turning to peer at the small egg that was... not Fred. Which one was this? He couldn't remember. A little too preoccupied with what he was being... asked.
...Boil an egg?
But-
But they were-
Huh?
"...You eat eggs?" He kept his voice low to not wake the others, but he was... so confused. (Ignore that he himself was a cannibal - that somehow seemed different.) Never mind the fact that now was an incredibly inopportune time to ask for a snack.
"I think it's a little late for a snack either way, don't you think?"
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sirserpentine · 9 months ago
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Fred didn't cower at Alastor's less-than-agreeable response but glanced at the other eggs uncertainly. He had never ever seen another Boss in their bed, so he couldn't properly answer the Radio Demon's question.
The rest of the eggs didn't look any more sure of themselves, glancing at each other and shrugging pointedly. Frank, however, pointed his finger in the air after a moment of thought.
"Ooaah! You can just sit with us until we fall asleep! Boss does that sometimes if he needs to work at night. He sneaks away thinking we won't notice but he usually bumps into something so we hear him anyway but he doesn't know that we know."
"What, really?" one of the eggs asked in surprise. The other eggs nodded, leaving their kin into a state of shock and a bit of grief. All this time, and he had never known?
Fred started tucking the blanket over Alastor's feet, although the Demon was still standing upright. "Here boss. So snug."
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Following a quick rinse of his hands to rid them of any lingering egg dust and/or debris, Alastor found himself trailing after the parade, his steps much smaller to compensate for their little toddles as they made their way towards the bed. He hovered over the edge of the presumed nest, watching as they all flopped down rather unceremoniously into it. Had a brief moment of concern that they would slip and fall and crack anyway, but when none seemed worse for wear, he was of a mind to leave them to it and wander off to finish his nightly business.
That was, until the blanket was being brought over to him like some sort of offering.
"For-" he paused, brow furrowed in confusion.
"...He does not anticipate me joining you down there, does he?"
Incredulous. Alastor rarely slept in general, let alone cozied up to a bunch of... egg creatures at the same time.
He would not dignify the question about his tail with a response.
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sirserpentine · 9 months ago
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"Yes! Come with us, Boss," Frank said, putting away the blowdryer. He climbed down the bathroom counter and gestured his fellow eggs to follow him back to the bedroom. They all jogged in a line, mumbling along and already yawning.
Pentious' round, floor-sunken bed awaited them, multiple pillows invitingly spread about. The eggs literally rolled into their nest one by one, finding a comfortable nook on the soft cushion. Fred, who rolled upon the bed last, discovered a rolled up blanket on the bed's edge, and looked at it curiously. He didn't know it, but Sir Pentious had left it to his egg boiz because he couldn't scoop them with his tail tonight.
Fred dragged the blanket to Alastor. "I think this is for you, Boss," he said softly. "you can warm up your tails."
"It's legs," Frank corrected. "...Unless you have a tail, boss?! Do you have one? Is it fluffy or long like a rat's?"
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...Horrifyingly adorable. Absently, Alastor wondered if the egg had simply manifested that 'song' from nowhere or if he'd heard it somewhere before. He supposed it didn't matter much - it had done the job of distracting Fred to the point where Alastor was able to give that fragile little shell a relatively thorough brushing before setting the brush back into the little cup. Yes, they had all seemingly survived their brush (hah) with an untimely fate and were no worse for the wear.
The offer for a return gesture was met with a hmm and a shake of his head.
"No, no, that is a task I am more than capable of handling on my own, thank you," he replied. "I think it is time, instead, for you and your... siblings..." he still had no idea what to call them in reference to one another. "...to settle in for sleep, yes? Or am I missing a step in the routine? I'm sure you will remind me."
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