#eg reads

[eg515]

"Both sides need to come out of this looking good, and the only way to do that is to make it look like your little slap-fight at the wedding was some homoerotic frat bro mishap, okay? So, you can hate the heir to the throne all you want, write mean poems about him in your diary, but the minute you see a camera, you act like the sun shines out of his dick, and you make it convincing." okay yeah, now I remember why I enjoyed this book the first time around

[fairycherrysworld]

[amarriageoftrueminds]

View on Twitter

Since it came up recently, link to that therapist on twitter 👆 who was discussing Bucky's terribile therapist in TFATWS and how they should’ve been. 

Transcript:

"As a therapist myself I've had a lot of feelings about Bucky's therapist on TFatWS, and have decided I need to rant a little to let it all out. I've worked w/active duty, trauma survivors, and court ordered clients, so here's some therapeutic conjecture on Bucky's therapy:

Aesthetically her office and presentation don't fit for someone who has been through the trauma that he’s been through. A client like this would need something non-threatening and safe- the whole vibe is overly formal and official in an office building, not at all therapeutic.

6 months working together she calls him Mr. Barnes and then James-he has identity issues and is struggling with who he is, so I think that one of the 1st things they would have done is figure out what he is comfortable being called, by whom and what that means for him.

He is still full out lying to her about pretty much everything including PTSD sx—I’m not saying clients never lie if they have good therapists, but if after 6 months he still doesn’t feel like he can be truthful at all then they haven’t built any trust/ solid therapeutic rapport

The pen and notebook thing-that’s clearly a trigger for him, there’s no reason to antagonize him and take notes in session like a punishment, it’s a power play on her part and it only emphasizes his lack of control in being forced into therapy (she should know his hx w/notebooks)

The whole little arm motion she made when she said “they need to make sure you don’t…” – that made so much light of what has happened to him, he probably feels like his arm is only good as a weapon and things like that will not help him accept it as part of his body

The rules, UGH the rules—from how they were talking about them clearly not something he actively created for himself, more like directives that he’s been ordered to adhere to—something fed to him and reinforced, feels like a way to sign off on liability only

THE AMENDS—this is probably my biggest issue. Amends are for people who need to take accountability for their actions and the repercussions of those choices. He had NO choice. He was a victim of horrific crimes against him, and framing it in a way that he needs to make up for

the crimes that others used him for is abhorrent. The lack of trauma informed care as astounding in the way it is being framed that he has to atone for sins that weren’t his. Its clearly reinforcing the idea in his head in ep 2 when he says “HYDRA were my people".

NO, HYDRA were your captors. They were not your people. That type of thinking needs to get deconstructed and challenged. He can dedicate himself to bringing good into the world and righting wrongs that happened WITHOUT taking on the responsibility of those actions.

Her whole attitude and demeanor were condescending and demeaning. I know some people have said “I love how she calls him out on his bullshit!” That’s not what I see happening. I call my clients out on their shit all the time—this was not that.

And I can only do that with clients ONCE we’ve built the type of relationship where it’s going to be therapeutic for them to hear it, and it’s done intentionally and with purpose. She just came off shaming and mean because they don’t seem to have any form of therapeutic rapport.

She said “you have no history, no family”- there is no therapeutic reason for that, and she’s wrong. He most likely has family alive (he used current tense when talking about his sister) and he was close to Shuri and TChalla, his history is vital to understanding him

When she said “Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back. You are being pardoned. These are good things. You’re free.”—Yeah this feels really dismissive and like toxic positivity. “I know you’ve been through a lot BUT BE HAPPY!!??”

He certainly doesn’t seem to feel like he’s free (especially having therapy mandated), and you can’t just tell someone they’re free. I felt like she was pretty much just like, “shake it off, look to the future!” which feels really shitty when you’ve experienced excessive trauma.

HELLO breach of confidentiality, just introducing herself to Sam as his therapist and confirming it to Walker and the whole police station, it doesn’t matter if they know he’s in therapy you do not break someone’s privacy like that, he still deserves some control over his tx.

Ordering Sam into a session, NO, he’s not your client and you don’t know him well enough to know if that’s appropriate or if it would be harmful to either, and you haven’t asked your client for his consent to have another person in his session

Forcing a trauma victim who was stripped of his bodily autonomy for 70 years into a physically intimate exercise with a coworker that he’s barely interacted with in the last several months? NOPE, just reinforcing to Bucky she has control over him the way his handlers used to

To me, I think she is more focused on signing off on his psychological eval that he isn't a liability rather than any actual healing or attention to his trauma. This unfortunately isn’t unusual in the military where “mental health treatment” is focused on being mission ready.

They are making sure he’s ready to be an “asset” w/ mandated therapy, which he shouldn’t even be forced to do as part of his pardon because he shouldn’t have needed a pardon at all because he was a victim of horrific war crimes, brainwashing, and dehumanization for 70 years.

I’m just saying, if that was me he would be on my big squishy couch, bright open windows, bowl of Hershey kisses, random fidget toys, and two therapy dogs laying all over him while we work through that trauma and he builds back his identity and finds the calm he wants so badly.

And yes he would probably need someone who would see through his BS, call him out when he needs it, not be overly "touchy feely", but only if he feels safe and there is trust, where he gets to work on what HE wants, not what others think he needs.

Anyway thanks for coming to my TEDTalk, I❤️my work and I think being a therapist on retainer for the Avengers would've been a fucking trip, they all needed a team of mental health professionals at their disposal 24/7 and things would've been so much better🤣

ps. They can be a good therapist and just not be a fit for the client, that happens regularly. We know when to make it part of the conversation and when to refer out. Nothing good is going to come out of a contemptuous therapeutic relationship, mandated or not.

pps. That whole situation and the scene with Zemo was so rough. I can't imagine how much it brought back the violation, humiliation, anger, and helplessness of when he was the WS. I'm just imagining him having a therapist he trusts and being able to process that afterwards 😭😭😭"

[dumplingsjinson]

List of “how about we get comfy and cozy with each other, in more ways than one?” prompts

(Warning: This list is pretty much an overshare in the form of a prompt list, because it is very much based on my personal experiences. A lot of TMI happens. 

If that makes you uncomfortable, please don’t read the list. If you’re okay with it, proceed on at your own discretion. 

Don’t say I didn’t warn you because… It’s a lot.) 

1. “I hope I’m not being too needy.” “Well, I like it when you’re needy. I like it when you’re like this.” (THE FUCKING AUDACITY OF THIS MAN WLEIFLEKWNKLEWFN) 

2. Character B groping Character A’s ass while they���re making out.

3. Character A moaning and whimpering into Character B’s ear while rubbing themselves against Character B’s thigh, desperate for release.

4. “I… I want you to touch me,” Character A admits, while staring up at the ceiling, cheeks reddening in an increasing show of embarrassment.

5. “Tell me to stop if it becomes too much, okay?” 

6. Character B dry humping Character A; hips thrusting into theirs, picking up with the pace when Character A whimpers in their ear and pulls Character B even closer in response because they don’t want any sort of space left between them; not even a sliver. 

7. Character B getting all sweaty and heated while they’re dry humping Character A.

8. Character B taking off their shirt to get more comfortable with Character A, and Character A subtly admiring their physique. (WHEN HE DID THAT?? THE DISRESPECT??? This guy’s gonna ruin me, I know it sjjsjs)

9. “Don’t be too loud,” Character B murmurs softly, planting a tender kiss on Character A’s face while sliding their thigh against Character A’s crotch, taking in the way Character A lets out a strangled sigh at that. (SIRRRR?? THEN DON’T FUCKING DO THIS TO ME?? WTF LWKENFWEK. Mind you, his fam came home after we were alone for an hour or two, so-)

10. Character A and Character B continuously checking in on each other every now and again to make sure they’re comfortable with the way things are going. 

11. Character B planting soft kisses all over Character A’s face and their neck, reassuring and sweet while things get very, very heated. 

12. “You’re going to make me not want to leave the bed if you keep doing this,” Character A warns in a low moan, as Character B continues to kiss their neck, their body pressing against Character A’s. Character B only chuckles in response, nipping at their skin playfully. 

13. Legs tangling together so they can get closer to each other. 

14. Character B fondling Character A, enjoying the noises they’re eliciting from Character A; enjoying the way they’re making Character A unravel at the seams, coming undone by their touch so easily. 

15. Character A hiding their face into Character B’s shirt because they can’t keep the noises at bay, and hoping to God they’re not being too loud. 

16. Character A and Character B’s hands roaming each other’s bodies, almost like they can’t get enough of each other (and they can’t. They can’t get enough of each other is the fucking problem here).

17. Character A desperately humping Character B’s thigh, chasing their high, shameless noises scraping at the back of their throat. 

18. Character B’s fingers speeding up in response to the sweet sounds falling out of Character A’s mouth. 

19. Character B letting their hands wander all over Character A’s body; slipping under their shirt, their pants, their undergarments, and Character A enjoying having their hands all over them like this even though they’re too shy to admit to that with words. 

20. “Do you want me to straddle you?” 

21. “How am I supposed to think about anything else while fucking myself now?” Character A questions in a rushed gasp as Character B continues to rub their thigh against their crotch.

22. “You’re so adorable,” Character B murmurs as they continue to thrust their hips into Character A’s. “How is me doing this adorable to you?” Character A questions, moaning a little at a particularly hard thrust of Character B’s hips against theirs. 

23. Character B leaving hickeys on Character A’s neck, on spots that make them pretty damn visible to the public.

24. “So… How do you like it on top?” “It’s uh… It’s an interesting experience.”

25. Character B’s body responding to the noises Character A’s making because of what they’re doing with them; to them.

26. Character B’s hand slipping past Character A’s pants to grope their bare ass while they’re dry humping each other.

27. Character B hitching Character A onto their thigh, pressing their thigh firmly against Character A’s crotch to tease them. 

28. Character B caging Character A between their arms while kissing them, and Character A’s arms wrapping around Character B’s neck to pull them closer, fingers carding through their hair; hands sliding down their neck; their shoulders; their arms; slipping under their tank top, palms resting against their bare skin; palms gliding along their spine and their back. 

29. Character B asking for consent whenever they want to do something a little out of the blue, and stopping when Character A isn’t comfortable with it. (BOUNDARY RESPECTING KING, PEOPLE NEED TO BE LIKE HIM!!) 

30. “Sorry if I went too far,” Character B says, and Character A shakes their head. “No, you didn’t go too far. You didn’t go far at all; you didn’t go far enough,” Character A says, flushing at the brazen admission coming out of their own mouth.

31. Character B trailing kisses down Character A’s chest/breasts. 

32. Character B pulling up Character A’s undergarment/shirt and taking Character A’s breast/nipple into their mouth, with Character A arching into them with pleasure at the unexpected gesture, a soft, encouraging gasp leaving them.

33. Character B slipping their hand under Character A’s shirt/undergarments to fondle with their nipples/breasts. 

34. Just Character A being a needy little fuck and needing Character B to be all over them because they’re so fucking addicted to the taste of them and the way their body rocks against theirs. 

35. Character A letting out little obscenities while they’re fooling around, which only fuels Character B further. 

36. “Well, now I’m really wet/hard.” “I see no problem with that.” 

37. Character A rocking back against Character B while they’re spooning and Character B shallowly thrusting against them in response. 

38. Character A biting their bottom lip to try and keep quiet (and failing pretty miserably).

39. “Yeah, you like that?” Character B softly murmurs into Character A’s ear as Character A lets out an involuntary sigh, arching up into Character B in response. 

40. “Well… I do fantasise being restrained by handcuffs.” “We can try that in the future if you’d like.” (WELL FUCK ME I GUESS LWKENFEWLKNF) 

41. Character A moaning into Character B’s mouth while they’re making out, which spurs Character B on, with the way they pull Character A even closer and kisses them harder; with much more fervour than before. 

42. Character B touching, teasing and feeling Character A up. (DID Y’ALL GET THAT WAYV REFERENCE OR WHAT—)

43. Character B caressing the side Character A’s thigh while they’re kissing.

44. “And you’re telling me this is what cuddling is?” “Mhm.” “Bullshit.”

45. Character A fucking themselves on Character B’s fingers, whimpering in a way they’d be embarrassed about if they weren’t so in the moment. 

46. Character A trying so fucking hard to control the soft little whimpers leaving them when Character B rubs against them with their fingers. 

47. “I’m all over the place and it’s all your fault,” Character A whines while Character B chuckles. “Mmm, it’s not all on me, you know,” Character B says, tone teasing. 

48. “It’s just me and you now,” Character B murmurs softly, planting a kiss on Character A’s lips, slowly rocking their hips against Character A. (onrwlfgnrekljng FUCK!! OFF!! ALKFHEWLKNF) 

49. Character B closing the blinds for privacy reasons. (He was struggling to close the blinds and I was giggling and teasing him about that lmfaofenlkfn)

50. Character B slipping their thigh between Character’s A’s legs with the intention of messing with them.

51. Character A grinding against Character B’s thigh and Character B responding by pressing their thigh firmer against Character A. 

52. The soft pleas and whimpers slipping out of Character A’s mouth as Character B quickens the thrusts of their fingers. 

53. “How are you feeling?” Character B would ask every now and then to make sure Character A’s comfortable and okay with what they’re doing, and the pace they’re going at. (This is ALWAYS so fucking sexy! Do this with your partner) 

54. Character B unbuttoning/unzipping Character A’s pants, in a tauntingly slow manner; slips their hand past the waist band of Character A’s pants whilst Character A squirms around a little, their heartbeat quickening in anticipation of what’s to come. (Uh, no pun intended???)

55. Taking a break in between each of their little sessions and cuddling with each other, and using those moments to check in on each other.

56. Character B stopping themselves from going further whenever they sense Character A getting a bit overwhelmed with everything that’s happening and making sure that they’re okay. (He just… He’s so caring and it’s so fucking sweet AHHHH) 

57. Character B’s ragged, laboured breathing in Character A’s ear as they fuck themselves against Character A, and Character A squeezing their biceps in encouragement; the soft pants from Character B and the whimpers and moans from Character A intermingling in the air.

58. Character A burying their face in Character B’s chest out of pure embarrassment after doing all of that, and Character B chuckling at them while cuddling them close to their chest, planting several kisses on their face. 

59. Character A’s clothing smelling like Character B’s because of how much they were all over each other, all day and night. 

60. Character A leaving Character B’s room with the messiest hair by the end of the night.

[fluffyartbl0g]

Someone get this man a younger sibling that ISNT like. Twice his height.

[wolves-in-the-world]

the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.

(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)

is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.

(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)

on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.

[belowthesurface]

they were invited to the barbie premiere

[tennessoui]

it’s like baby gorl there’s no way I, the author who wrote the fic you’re commenting on and who is the intended audience for this comment, am gonna agree with you 😿🙏 some things can just stay on your chest 🙏

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

MDZS Notes + Analysis — Chapter Two: “Reincarnation”

Three main things stood out to me when rereading this chapter: the theme of status, our intro to WWX, and the information we’re given about his state after death.

…Well, four things, but the other one will get its own post.

The theme of status is immediately introduced* with ‘MXY’’s treatment and the backstory of MXY and his mother, yet again showing just how well MDZS’s ideas are integrated into the text and how well it’s paced! You’re introduced to every important theme so, so early on. Two screenshots are analysed below:

(See: entitlement of the upper classes towards the lower classes, and how this can exist even between members of the ‘same family’; and arguably the idea of debts between a richer family and someone who was 'taken in'. There are a surprising amount of parallels between MXY and WWX, but I'll make my own post about that)

(See: once again, differences in status between members of the same family, and also the worse, and disposable, treatment of one daughter because she was "the daughter of a servant". Now, why does that phrase sound familiar...?)

Also, MXY's mother was sixteen when she attracted JGS's attention... if you somehow needed even more material to hate the guy...

We also get introduced to WWX’s personality(!), which immediately disproves the rumours from last chapter on how he'd cast the world into ruin:

(That's one of the first questions he asks after waking up – I love how he's so concerned about this! It shows us two important things, too: 1) Morality is important to WWX, and 2) Doing immoral things seems to be out of the ordinary for him. Both of these stand in direct contrast to the picture of WWX we were painted earlier!)

(Same thing here, along with showing us some of the (healthy!) pride WWX has – he wouldn't be offended at this if wasn't something he held as important within himself)

(I use this quote again, but here it's once again proving that the vengeful, evil WWX who'd sink the cultivation world into "nothing but chaos and despair" at the first chance he got... very much does not exist.)

(And finally, it's explicitly confirmed here that he's not the type to take exessive revenge and take pleasure in it... at least at this point in time, because. MXY definitely had reason to think this considering Sunshot!WWX, if everyone had been working from the truth. But importantly that isn't who he is now, and isn't who the WWX villified by the cultivation world was – imo that's including Nightless City, we'll get to that when I reach it. But note that actions during the Sunshot campaign aren't even mentioned in the prologue, because, shock, they actually helped the cultivation world win the war! Though that doesn't mean they weren't part of rumours + the WWX hatred mill later.)

Then some non-morality related things:

This is just really funny to me, with how the makeup being badly applied (:o) is enough of an issue to merit a thought – WWX I love you.

And then this way of thinking comes back a few times esp during the earlier chapters, enough to be noted I think.

Confirmation on WWX's status after he died – it's not anything new to point out, but this chapter does give us rare insights into what state he was in during the post-death, pre-rebirth period.

So, he was somewhat conscious, enough to be aware of what he was(n't) doing – seeking vengeance, haunting the living – and was seemingly in control of those actions. However, he was specifically a "wandering ghost" – his soul didn't pass onto the afterlife or "return back to Earth"** like the body-offering spell's caster's would. He was conscious that a long time had passed as well, and this long period of downtime where he could accept + deal with what happened in his first life is what likely allowed him to be so well-adjusted the second time round – even taking into account the remarkably good way he tends to deal with things in general (cue the "forgetting the wound when the pain fades" quote, it summarises WWX's mindset really well)***.

Also, as for resisting the summons from the prologue – I'm wondering how much was due to WWX's experience with resentful energy + general capability (if that affects it..?) allowing him to consciously refuse, how much was due to WWX not being the type to hold onto resentment (so possibly spells targeting ghosts, full of this resentful energy, wouldn't be as affected?), and how much was due to the relative lack of knowledge about how ghosts/resentful energy works compared to WWX. Or, if it was something else. Either way, achieving the impossible, that's WWX for you :D

It is interesting that he hasn't heard a voice in ages despite wandering, too – do ghosts just not hear the same way, or did he deliberately avoid areas with people? I could see both, the second being more likely, especially considering how many people wanted to summon him back for... less than stellar purposes.

Misc:

Poor Mo Xuanyu....

--

*Well, reinforced – in the prologue, one of the things said about WWX is that "if not for the YunmengJiang clan’s adopting and teaching him, he would have been a hobo living on the streets", which is among the insults people throw. So of course, class-affecting-perception is tied to WWX from the very beginnning! But this is the first time it's actually explored, not a throwaway line.

**Though that may be what's literally happening to WWX's soul here – it is wandering around Earth – I don't think that's what this line refers to. There's a very good meta on how different translations handled that line, I really recommend it (tysm @/mxtxfanatic for finding it)!

***It would be very interesting to read a fic where it felt like no time had passed for him since his death, actually! Though the extremely stressful circumstances are gone, it would still be interesting to see a WWX for whom the Siege, Nightless City, Qiongqi Path etc are pretty recent – but only in fic territory, since I'm so, so glad we got the WWX we did in canon. Also, I'd love to see a fic maybe exploring some of his time as a ghost...?

[lokh]

the first time the bell started ringing shuro must have thought No fucking way. theres no way he already conquered the dungeon. and then exactly 5 seconds later when the bell didnt stop ringing he realised straight away Ah. that idiot just left the bell in his bag

[eg515]

I expected some side characters from They Both Die at the End to appear in the prequel, and we do see them in bigger or smaller roles, but it's Rufus' mom being Orion's doctor that broke me

[fairycherrysworld]

[pigeon-butch]

I certainly have my own concerns about the treatment of moo deng but um. well i think some of you may just be racist

[im-the-antonymph-of-your-mom]

I love this line, because out of context it looks like Elliot is saying he's into some really weird stuff, but it's more likely a reference to the things he's seen and heard because of Tedd's interests.

[constantlyfeelsick]

Me when the urge to read and analyse Blake's work to get a deeper insight into Vergil (+ V and Urizen) but I'm bad at reading into deeper meaning, finding similar themes, parallels between subjects and applying my knowledge to a bigger picture

[carlyraejepsans]

saw your most recent post about really good fics that contain uncomfortable kinks and i immediately thought "ah, biscia must be reading the mpreg soriel fic" and almost left a reply talking about it but i stopped myself because i realized that would be an insane assumption to make. needless to say i felt so vindicated when i saw you link it in an earlier post.

like. HELLO?

HELLO???????