#effronterie

[ripeteeth]

“All painting is cave painting; painting on the low dark walls of you and me, intimations of grandeur. The painted church is the tattooed body of Christ, not bound into religion, but unbound out of love. Love, the eloquent shorthand that volumes out those necessary invisibles of faith and optimism, humour and generosity, sublimity of mankind made visible through art.

Naked I came into the world, but brush strokes cover me, language raises me, music rhythms me. Art is my rod and staff, my resting place and shield, and not mine only, for art leaves nobody out. Even those from whom art has been stolen away by tyranny, by poverty, begin to make it again. If the arts did not exist, at every moment, someone would begin to create them, in song, out of dust and mud, and although the artifacts might be destroyed, the energy that creates them is not destroyed. If, in the comfortable West, we have chosen to treat such energies with scepticism and contempt, then so much the worse for us. Art is not a little bit of evolution that late-twentieth-century city dwellers can safely do without. Strictly, art does not belong to our evolutionary pattern at all. It has no biological necessity. Time taken up with it was time lost to hunting, gathering, mating, exploring, building, surviving, thriving. Odd then, that when routine physical threats to ourselves and our kind are no longer a reality, we say we have no time for art.”

Jeanette Winterson, Art Objects: Essays on Ecstasy and Effrontery

[eliteprepsat]

[heathengentleman]

This means so much more to me than any social justice causes.

[plutos134340]

I love just knowing and using random big words when i could easily use normal ones, and whenever i get a new interest i steal words from it

So basically, chonny jashs songs have given me all the vocabulary words i could ever dream of

[thisismyanimus]

it seemed that searching three words allows you to find all posts containing those three words

with two words, it seemed that both words have to be in tags, or else it doesn't work. maybe unless the post is popular

but what if i write a really long tag? the maximum limit is 139 characters per tag

i did this experiment in this post

i concluded that if your search contains common words, for example "what write really", it only retrieves certain posts where those words are in the text

for uncommon/nonexisting words in the text of your post such as "brasput yabet mituarb", you can find your post by searching just 1 word

for two words in any of the tags, it retrieves the post, even if the words are common. for example "eat above"

[maranzalla]

you mean i completed all work-related tasks and my energy levels are depleted, and it's only 21.15? seems excessive but okay

[afinedilemma]

"M'lady, Tis a Gwendolyn's"

[literaryvein-reblogs]

some words for characterization (pt. 1)

Personality

aggression, arrogance, artifice, atrocity, audacity, bearing, best, bravery, buoyancy/buoyance, calm, character, charisma, charm, compliance, confidence, courage, dash, dedication, determination, disposition, distinction, effrontery, egoism/egotism, empathy, endurance, enterprise, esprit de corps, fettle, fight, foible, fortitude, gall, generosity, gentility, go, good will/goodwill, grit, gusto, hauteur, heroism, hubris, identity, ilk, individuality, inhibition, innocence, kind, laziness, longevity, magnetism, manner, martyrdom, mettle, might, monstrosity, morale, motivation, mystique, nerve, obedience, oomph, patience, penchant, perseverance, pizzazz, point, potency, presence of mind, prima donna, proclivity, property, psyche, qualify, reputation, savor, self-respect/self-esteem, shortcoming, soul, spirit, spunk, stamina, staying power, taste, temper, tenacity, thing, trick, twist, valor, verve, vigor, vitality, weakness, willpower, zeal, zing, zip

Attributes of Personality: aboveboard, adventurous, airy, amenable, approachable, arrogant, assertive, assured, august, bashful, belonging to, big hearted, blasé, blithe, boastful, boorish, brash, buoyant, callous, captious, catty, charming, cheeky, childlike, chilly, churlish, clear, clinical, cocky/cocksure, co dependent, colorful, combative, confident, cool, coy, culpable, cute, dainty, dastardly, dedicated, delicate, demonic/demoniac/demoniacal, dependent, despicable, determined, dewy-eyed, die-hard, dignified, dispassionate, distant, dynamic, easygoing, egocentric, egotistic/egoistic, embittered, endearing, engaging, even-tempered, exalted, exemplary, feckless, finicky, flatulent, forbearing, forward, free, frigid, gallant, garrulous, generous, genteel, glacial, good, good humored, good-natured, gregarious, gutless, halcyon, happy-golucky, hardhearted, hard-nosed/hardheaded, hell-bent, high and mighty, high-strung, hyperactive, icy, ill natured, immovable, imperturbable, individual, indulgent, infamous, inherent, innocent, insouciant, intrinsic, inveterate, irresponsible, jazzed-up, kindhearted, kosher, laid-back, latent, liberal, likable, loutish, low, loyal, magnetic, matronly, meritorious, mincing, miserly, mulish, native, nice, nonchalant, obedient, obsequious, odd/oddball, officious, openhearted, open-minded, opprobrious, ossified, outspoken, particular, peculiar, perfidious, persistent, personable, philanthropic, pigheaded, predictable, prim, proper, pushy, quick-tempered, recluse/reclusive, reserved, rotten, saintly, Satanic, selective, self-assured, self-centered, self-confident, self-conscious, self-satisfied, self-sufficient, shabby, shifty, slothful, snotty, spick and-span, spotless, spunky, squeamish, staid, standoffish, stoic/stoical, stubborn, suave, sweet, thick skinned, trustworthy/trusty, unapproachable, unpretentious, unsuspecting, uppity, vain, valorous, virile, vocal, winning, wishy-washy, zealous

Intelligence

acquaintance, anticipation, apprehension, attention, bent, capacity, clarity, cognizance/cognition, comprehension, consciousness, creativity, darkness, depth, education, empathy, erudition, expertise/expertness, familiarity, feeling, foresight, genius, grasp, head, ignorance, imagination, innocence, intellect, interpretation, invention, ken, know-how, learning, literacy, mentality, misconception, nirvana, observation, perception, proficiency, sagacity, sanity, scholarship, sensibility, skill, soul, understanding, wit/wits, workmanship

Attributes of Intelligence: able, abstruse, accident-prone, acute, alert, analytic/analytical, apt, astute, aware, bewildered, blind, brilliant, canny, cerebral, clairvoyant, clever, cognizant, common-sense, comprehensible, considered, conversant, cunning, deducible, delirious, designedly, dim, dizzy, down-to-earth, dumb, eagle-eyed, efficient, empty, empty-headed, erudite, expert, farsighted, feeble-minded, frivolous, gullible, hazy, idiotic, illiterate, impressionable, incomprehensible, ineligible, inexperienced, ingenious, inquisitive, insipid, intelligent, inventive, judicious, knowing, learned, logical, lucid, mindful, moronic, not born yesterday, observant, omniscient, penetrating, perceptive, philosophical/philosophic, privy, proficient, psychic, quick-witted, rational, reasonable, sagacious, sane, savvy, scholarly, seasoned, sensible, shallow, shrewd, skillful, slow, soft, studious, subtle, thick, thoughtless, unaware, uneducated, uninformed, unknowing, vacant, versed, veteran, weak, well-balanced, well-defined, wide-awake, with-it

Social state

abasement, affirmative action, association, awkwardness, behind, belonging, bond, breach, breeding, calm, care, celebrity, censorship, circumstances, class, coherence, companionship, complicity, concord, conjunction, consanguinity, contact, cooperation, courtesy, credit, culture, degree, détente, dignitary, diplomacy, disagreement, disfavor, disharmony, disorder, dissolution, disturbance, duty, echelon, eminence, entertainment, entry, estate, excitement, falling out, familiarity, fellowship, fidelity, foreplay, friendship, fun, fuss, genre/genus, get along, glory, height, hit it off, hospitality, hubbub, humiliation, immunity, infidelity, intrigue, juncture, laissez-faire, lather, level, liberty, luxury, marriage, men’s movement, mortification, mutiny, nepotism, nobility, nonviolence, notoriety, odium, opprobrium, partnership, piffle, place, pleasure, polygamy, popularity, predicament, prestige, rage, rapport, rate, relationship, reproach, reputation, ruckus, rupture, seclusion, servitude, shame, situation, society, sophistication, split, standing, state, status, stillness, stink, support, sympathy, taste, terms, tomfoolery, uncertainty, variance, whirl

NOTE

The above are concepts classified according to subject and usage. It not only helps writers and thinkers to organize their ideas but leads them from those very ideas to the words that can best express them.

It was, in part, created to turn an idea into a specific word. By linking together the main entries that share similar concepts, the index makes possible creative semantic connections between words in our language, stimulating thought and broadening vocabulary.

Source ⚜ Writing Basics & Refreshers ⚜ On Vocabulary

[ripeteeth]

“It seems to me that the intersection between a writer’s life and a writer’s work is irrelevant to the reader. The reader is not being offered a chunk of the writer or a direct insight into the writer’s mind, the reader is being offered a separate reality. A reality separate from the actual world of the reader, and just as importantly, separate from the actual world of the writer. The question put to the writer ‘How much of this is based on your own experience?’ is meaningless. All or nothing may be the answer. The fiction, the poem, is not a version of the facts, it is an entirely different way of seeing. When we talk about the artist’s vision we pay lip service to this other way of seeing but we are not very comfortable with it. If it exists, which we doubt, it is some kind of trick and nobody likes to be tricked. If it doesn’t exist then we need not worry about responding to it. We can respond to the lifelikeness of the piece.”

Jeanette Winterson, Art Objects: Essays on Ecstasy and Effrontery

[always-burningbright]

“Cool, go for it bro. Let me know how that works out for you!”

🙄🙄

Get bent. Most people 100% support a writer taking one measly week off updating.

[teyamloving12]

𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫l

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Miles Quaritch x F!Reader

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ content, large age gap, cursing, mentions of violence, implied sex, dub-con, abuse of authority, unprotected sex, etc.

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: He was always watching. He saw you grow up into who you are now and only chuckled at the snarky remarks you made towards him.

He was vigilant, at least that what his mother would say when he was young. He was always wary of the people and things that dared to breathe around him. Maybe that is why he was held in high regard-- no, people didnt show him any regard or esteem. They were not at ease as a consequence of his barbaric tactics. The excruciating demands from his mouth when he bellowed commands to the inferior was immeasurable.

"𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞."

His lean muscles become tense whilst he caught a glimpse of the imbeciles that bowed before him. The little bastard of one of the recombinants would only amuse herself with the teddy bear that had a broken button as its eye in the corner of the meeting room.

His eyes would turn to then look at the little girl and she would express tenderness. A smile meritorious of millions, a piece of treasure that would glisten when polished. She was the ripest fruit upon the tree.

He softened for once in his life but he regained his composure and scoffed at the little, joyful creature. She is pathetic like her father. Always smiling and galavanting about the place. "No wonder Sully killed him", he said in a low-pitched tone. The fool left his little bastard after conjuring her up in her mother's womb. Is that what a man is? What whore of a woman opens her legs during war?

From a mere babe to a woman, he watched with keen eyes as you matured. He knew you despised his existence. He knew you picked up your father's soft and wimpish heart and mind. He felt a glare full of disgust from across the room. He only chuckled. Inadequate. You were pathetic, however, how could he resist that malevolent glow in your eyes?

The meeting room was packed like sardines and as loud as a clap of thunder. Shouts and cries of annoyance and protest echoed across the meeting room. Quaritch tilted his head at the sight of his team at each other's throats. "Jake Sully is a traitor that must be killed immediately", he roared. His ear-splitting voice boomed across the room.

"I beg to disagree", _____ said with an iron hand. "You come to their home demanding control and honor.", ______ started. Not a hint of apprehensiveness came from your tone. "This is their home and you came to disrespect it, therefore Sully chose the right path to leave rather than to stay.", _____ continued, fearing not the consequences that came after. "You got your mother's smart mouth huh?", Quaritch chuckled.

Though his hair was gray with white streaks on both sides of his head, his body was still muscular and strong. He had the ability to strike fear in anyone that he came across, young or old. "You are a fool to think that the Navi will give up their home for you. How confident do you have to be?", ______ clapped back at his supposingly insult.

No one in this world had the capability to wipe a petulant expression from his face. The Colonel's grin fell from his face. His eyes narrowed at the woman before him. "A fool, did you just call me a fool, little girl?", he focused your attention on his last two words. "I'm not your little girl.", _______ uttered. He then had the nerve to turn his back to you showing that your words had no significance to him.

He didn't care. He never did.

The little bastard that would play with her teddy bear has finally grown up. So grown, she had the effrontery and impudence to disrespect him. Quaritch faced you but his face was not of stone, almost as if he was laughing at your remark.

"When your whore of a mother decided to spread her legs in the middle of war, I gave her pity. She was lucky enough to give birth and she was lucky that I had not killed you.", he mouthed. You heard a few giggles from the recombinants in the room." This is the same place where you were raised, where you are fed. This is where you were grown and you will remember who you're talking to, little girl", he finished, emphasizing the last two words once more.

"Colonel or not, you will not dare to insult my mother like that.", _______ retorted. "The dead has no power, she's dead and so is your daddy. What will they do?", Quaritch snickered. The recombinants made comments on how your mother would have attacked him spiritually, earning a chuckle from Quaritch.

"Leave", he stated. The recombinants began to leave, confused by the sudden command. "You, stay", Quaritch demanded. You glared at the disgusting man that stood tall before you. "What do you want?", ______ mumbled. Quaritch grabbed you by your chin. "Do you hate me?", he asked with a smirk. After a moment of silence, your eyes met his. "More than ever", I responded. He scoffed at your remark. It was not what he had expected.

Out of rage and frustration, he pushed you back. Your figure collided with the edge of the meeting table causing immense, nerve-wrecking pain. "What the fuck is wrong with you?", ______ yelled, holding your side. "It's funny.", he deadpanned. "Funny how I wasted my resources on a bitch who claims she hates me.", He said, walking towards you. "Your glares won't kill me.", he added

Quaritch grabbed you by the nape of your neck. You attempted to defend yourself by slapping him across his face. He threw you on the meeting table with ease. Your breath hitched as you felt your back make contact with the stern, glass table. "You will learn that ungratefulness and disobedience come with a price.", he declared. Your glares were vicious until you heard it.

The sound of his belt buckle being undone...

Your heart dropped. "No", _____said, denying his advances. "You're still denying me, little girl", he cringed at your refusal. "You are abusing the authority that you have.", ______ exclaimed in fright. "Scream. Tell them. Tell them how you hate me.", Quaritch snickered. Tears streamed down your face, stopping at you chin. "You and I both know that this room is soundproof. They won't hear you", he whispered the last sentence.

The worst happened. You closed your eyes, praying to God in your head. You hoped you were just dreaming. Unfortunately, you were wide awake, living in a nightmare he had created. He towered over your frozen figure. "You had so much mouth just now.", Quaritch smirked. "Sometimes that nasty ass attitude hides your pretty face", he added. You closed your eyes, refusing to look at his bulging member.

The tip was rubbing against the soaked spot on your panties. Your head was spinning. On the verge to faint, Quaritch began to speak up. "Why are you wet if you hate me?". His forehead was dripping in sweat. His swollen cock was in his fist whilst he teased at the tip, spreading his precum on your underwear. Quaritch thought about you. He thought of how he would shot what makes him feel heavenly. He knew you learned fast and would care for him like he wanted.

"Do you still hate me?", he asked again. His cock twitched as he slid your panties aside revealing a soaked slit. Your eyes fluttered open instantly. He attempted to push him away but he was clearly stronger. The veins on his cock bulged like a beast. It was hungry and ready to strike. "I absolutely despise yo-ahhh", you were met with his cock half way inside yet you felt full.

He groaned. "Fuck. Should've done this earlier.", he muttered under his breath. Your pussy was squeezing him, tight enough to cut off blood flow to his lower body or maybe he was just too big. "Take it out!", you exclaimed throwing punches at his chiseled torso. Your command was a clearly a joke. He trailed his fingers to your clit and places them into your face to show you the truth. Your body wants it. It was obvious.

"Admit it little girl, you always wanted it", he declared. Did you? Did you really want it? "I-", you were caught up in your words and thoughts. You hated him, he was unjust and cruel. So why is your body betraying you at this moment?

“f-fuck—” Quaritch breathed, and his voice lets out a shaky call of your name. “fuck baby,” he says hoarsely, voice cracking ever so slightly as he groaned. Quaritch bit his lip, fighting back a moan as he pushed himself slowly into you even more. Your back arched as you let out a shaky moan.

He grabbed your hips as he thrusted inside you with no mercy. “are you mine?”, Quaritch asks and the rough, deep tone is such a turn on for you. You hated yourself for moaning like a common slut for him, your colonel. The one you hated all your life.

“Don’t cover your mouth. No one can hear you. And even if they could, who do you think would help you, hmm?” Quaritch said. "I-I don't know" ______ whimpered. He quickened his actions further. You could feel your orgasm building deep within your core.

A lustful feeling, taking over every last rational thought your brain had left to offer. "P-please slow down." ______ begged. You whined in response, sparks of pleasure shooting from your dampened core. The unbearable sound of squelching filled the space around you. A small moan escaped from your lips.

You didn’t want this. You didn’t. But as the pleasure became so unbearable you became unsure. You felt yourself clench down on Quaritch's hard, throbbing cock. Your orgasm overtook your shaking body, ripples of pleasure coursed through you. You cried out from the aching pleasure. 

Although he hadn't finished, he pulled out. He stared at the face you had. He fucked you dumb. Now you will know your place. "Do you hate me?", he asked with a smirk. "Never~", you moaned, your pussy still sensitive from his cock.

Good little girl.

[yandere-wishes]

𐙚 𝕬 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖋𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝕷𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖔 𝕯𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖚𝖑𝖆 𐙚

Wednesday February 14th xxxx

Dear Dracula:

I find myself pondering if, deep down, in the heart you deny possessing. There still exists a chasmic rhyme and reason for all which you do. They call you monster, fiend, abomination. Yet aren't they the ones that maim and slaughter for reasons as thin as thread? Thus why should we possess the burden of such an accursed name?

Valentine's is upon us. Maybe such sacrilegious festivities can be blamed for my intrepidity. We've yet to consort outside our nocturnal affairs, outside our world of half-spun truths and forgotten anecdotes. I pray you forgive my effrontery. I pray you comprehend my need for making such inquiries.

But my dear precious Dracula, I have to ask. Do you still remember your mother, your home, your heritage? Many deny that one as egregious as you could possess such mortal things. And yet aren't those the fundamental pillars of who we turn out to be? Isn't one man's evil another man's crusade?

So I, a mortal who believes she may have fallen for you in all your atrocious glory, ask do you remember being a son, a child? Being innocent and naive enough to believe every lie and fable? Do you still yarn for your mother in the dead of day? Recalling her scent and the bouncy curls of her hair, tasting nostalgia on your blood-soaked tongue.

What was it like in the sand, in the snow, in the green valleys and rocky outskirts? Did the coarseness of sand and the roughness of rocks and the tickle of flowers leave phantom pains across your body? Did you play with the snakes and climb fig trees? Did you laugh with others of your kind?

Do you recall your ancestrial home? The bronze walls of your mother's temple. Her fingers wafting through your hair as her smile radiates brighter than the moon. I zealously trust the visions that flash before my eyes on moonless nights. Images of a frail batling wrapped in kaleidoscopic blankets tucked under his mother's arm. Your mother mingled with owls, I wonder why she constructed you in the likeness of bats, of wolves, of snakes? Did she wish for you to serve as a cacophony to the detested, to those we so quickly forget? Did she wish for you something she could never have herself?

They seldom recall you are one of the sons of flames and stardust. Do they forget we share a legacy? One I believe you fought for. Both descendants of the divinely blessed. Both lost children arid for blood and retribution.

I too know of the darkly sweet tang of rich blood upon the tongue.

I too know the fragile elation of scraping blood from under one's fingernails three days later.

I too know the sensation of being a monster in everything but intentions.

I cherish the two lone bites you've left upon my neck. I cherish the cuts your claws have left upon my hips. You never say a word when you fall. When melancholy and memories obfuscate your judgment. I know you refuse to act human, to pretend and be something you are not. Thus I won't ask for sweet nothings from you.

Yet still I long to hear you call me "love".

When did you realize you were equal parts hellfire and shamshir?

When did you realize that humanity deserves to suffer for its every injustice?

My sweet, sweet Dracula, I regret to inform you that as of late my bones feel faulty and brittle, as do my thoughts. Can we still call ourselves holy? Do we still have that right? Can we still repent for our sins? Who decides what a sin is anyway? Will we ever be innocent to someone?

Are you torn too? Broken in all the wrong places? Do you feel the open wounds and amputations, when you stare up at the stars? I wonder if I owe you an apology. I wonder if you owe me one too…

Dearest Dracula, would you ever understand if I told you that I am tired of being a monster, a villain, an abomination? Would you understand if I told you I need to rest inside a glass coffin, to be rejuvenated and reborn into the world as something useful?

Would you believe me if I say I believe in you? That I lay the burden of my aspirations upon your unwavering shoulders. Should there exist any mere slivers of hope, I shall bestow them upon you in trim vials of gold.

Where did our obligations go? Where are they buried so that I may pay my tardy regards?

Dear Dracula,

I hope you understand every star I've spilled to you.

I hope you comprehend the love I harbor within my defective heart.

I hope you adore the blood I've penned this letter with.

I just hope you understand…

In your absence, thorn bushes grow across my cadaver. suffocating and desolate. Without you, voids grow inside me, where hope once flourished. Dracula what I've been trying to say this whole time is…

I think we're both monsters.

I think I could love you.

Sincerely me…

P.S

Think of me as you feast upon your latest victim. And I shall think of you as I fall asleep to the city's empty tunes.

I need an origin story for Dracula.

sorry for the cryptic love letter.

But hopefully this way everyone can identify with it in some way.

[chobani-flip]

outsider perspective @bucktommypositivityweek

Lady Cassandra Elizabeth Andromeda the First despised the tall loud one with all her heart. She longed to dig her claws into his stupid big arms and hiss-scream in his face: "LEAVE AND NEVERMORE LET YOUR HORRID STINK DARKEN OUR DOORSTEP!" but she knew there was no use.

For she'd already tried to do so the first two times he invaded their domicile with his loud noises and twitchy feet. But Her Human had always prevented her from driving her point home by picking her up and trying to cuddle her against his lovely warm kneadable chest. The ignominy! And he had the AUDACITY to make low, distressed, sorry noises at the Loud Stinker INSTEAD OF APOLOGIZING TO Lady Cassandra FOR THIS EFFRONTERY!

__

"I'm so sorry, Evan, I swear I don't know what's got into her."

"Hahah...Er, well, I suppose I need to give her time to get used to me."

__

The Loud Stinker was back again. Lady Cassandra supposed she'd have to add the use of forbidden magics to the black book of his sins for he appeared unexpected, uninvited and entirely under his own power! Without Her Human! One moment she was napping in a glorious sunbeam by the Tastes-Evil-Green-Leaves, and the next He was there! Armed with a horrific minion whose obedience he compelled by the continuous twitching of a thin black wand.

But Lady Cassandra would not be so easily threatened into submission! Not even by a chimera such as the one The Loud Stinker controlled, whose hideous long furred limbs and feathered tail quivered to the metallic beat of the jingle bells affixed to its collar.

She would allow that she had first chosen to take cover under the Tastes-Evil-Green-Leaves receptacle. But that was only to ascertain the threat and decide on the best plan of attack.

SHE WOULD NOT GIVE HER LIFE CHEAPLY!

She tucked her front legs under her neatly and readied her back legs and tail. She could feel her warm blood rushing through the clenched muscles of her belly, tension tingling from the the tips of her ears to the end of her whiskers.

"Jingle-lin-lin-ling," mocked the chimera.

Lady Cassandra let out a low growl and leapt. Like an avenging fury, she flew through the air and fell upon the foul beast.

With fang and claw, she tore at its treacherous limbs. With her back legs, she pummeled the soft body. She was not yet victorious for some evil magic still moved the chimera, trying to reanimate its corpse through a thin black hair. But Lady Cassandra was stronger and her cause was righteous and the jingle bells now tolled the invader's death!

Yowling, she gnawed at the hair. It was tenacious but her molars where sharper and stronger and at last, the beast lay dead at her feet.

__

"I honestly don't think she swallowed any of it, babe, she just bit through the elastic and the moment it wasn't moving, she lost interest. Well, she tore it up a bit. But it's all accounted for. Still, I wanted to let you know anyway ... No yeah no, you're right, I shouldn't push it. I just thought the toy might help, you know? ... The bedroom, I think. I thought I saw a bit of fluff under your pillow. ... Listen, I wanted to surprise you with dinner and wait for you here but I don't want to stress her out, so... You sure? ... OK, then. See you later, Tommy. L- See you!"

__

One foe vanquished. Another to go.

Unseen and in the comfort of her sanctum, Lady Cassandra bided her time. The Loud Stinker was in the Treasury now--she could hear his clanging and banging--but that could not be helped. She might have been worried if she thought the Loud Stinker shrewd enough to discover Her Human's stash of Delicious-Soft-Juicy-Meat-Bags in the topmost cabinet, but Lady Cassandra had observed the Loud Stinker enough that she was certain he lacked the wit.

Still, she needed a plan. The Loud Stinker could not be allowed to take up her side of the bed with impunity, nor beguile Her Human into his mating ritual when, accompanied by wretched new sounds from the metal box, he and Her Human slowly shambled back and forth from the Treasury all the way to the Sunbeam Room WHEN IT WAS TIME FOR LADY CASSANDRA'S DAILY BRUSH AND CUDDLE AND SHE COULDN'T EVEN NUMBER-EIGHT BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AND THUSLY MARK HER POSSESSION OF HER HUMAN BECAUSE THEY MIGHT STEP ON HER!

Lady Cassandra contemplated the contents of her stomach and whether there might not be enough for a hairball which she could then deposit into the Loud Stinker's shoe.

Hmmm, perhaps. It would not be very large, but in such cases Lady Cassandra believed a little went a long way.

She rose, stretching leisurely and began to plot her route. Moving swift and unseen until the deed was done was the key!

Lady Cassandra shot towards the sofa, then stilled, pressed her belly against the ground, and with bated breath listened for signs that she'd been detected.

Nothing.

He hadn't even turned one ear her way, the fool!

She allowed herself one satisfied wriggle and a swish of a tail before she rushed towards the hall. Keeping low to the ground, she danced through the shadows, claws contracted, not letting even a whisper of a footfall sound.

Almost there, almost there, just one more corner, then behind the door, almost-!

A loud wooden thud sounded from the Treasury and Lady Cassandra felt her feet freeze unbidden under her. She blinked, twitched her ears and hoped against hope that-

And then, as she knew it would, the siren song commenced.

Snip-snip-snip-sliiiice-scrape, resounded gloriously, tingling through every nerve and hair follicle of her body.

It was stronger than her.

Lady Cassandra turned and with the mien of one going to their own execution began her walk towards where the song of the Long-Shiny-Claw was calling her.

She made no effort to hide now, what use would it be? The Loud Human saw her then, stopped his song and made a hideous pigeon sound. Lady Cassandra was dismayed and disgusted at herself for approaching closer.

"....grrrssshh-ooo-argh-Lady-Cassandra-aeoiwgoad-lovely-girl-joihwadivawečtgae-would-you-like-some?"

Curse him! Somehow he'd learned the Spell only Her Human knew!

Ensorcelled, she stepped closer and craned her neck. Before she knew it, the Loud Human was bowing low to her, producing an offering.

Gingerly, unable to resist, Lady Cassandra took it between her teeth.

__

"Hi?! I-"

"Shhh!"

"-thought you... were asleep... What? I don't get a hello today?"

"Look. L o o k! Look at her!!"

"Oh wow! That's only what? One and a half? Two feet? How did you do that?"

"I don't know!"

"Well, what got her out of hiding?"

"I'm telling you, I have no idea. One moment I'm mincing the carrots and the next she's rubbing up against my leg!"

"Oh yeah, the magic of the cutting board."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, works better than her name. Every time. Am I right, lovely girl?"

"Don't wake her! She'll remember she hates me!"

"Nah, the way to Cassie's heart is through her stomach and you can bribe her stomach so very easily. Isn't that right, Cassie-girl?"

"Oh my god, she touched me! Can you see that? She's touching me!"

"Honestly, I don't know who's more adorable right now."

"Is she purring?!"

__

Lady Cassandra Elizabeth Andromeda the First stretched one of her paws languidly and shuffled closer to the warm Human. With five crunchy carrot sticks and a whole inch of a bacon rasher warm in her belly, she felt quite reconciled to his presence now.

After all, following his enterprise in the Treasury, he didn't even smell entirely objectionable now. His fingers under her cheek were perhaps untrained, but not altogether unpleasant. Lady Cassandra signaled her approval with one single soft trill of a purr.

It wouldn't do to show too much fervor, of course.

But yes, she decided, perhaps, with a little training, she might grow to enjoy having Her Human's Human around.

___

author's note: look, i don't know what happened? hope you enjoyed?

[erule]

Do I look like I care? | jj maybank

Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem!Kook!reader

Summary: you ask JJ to dance with you at the Midsummer, but things don’t go as planned.

Warnings: jealous!JJ, established relationship, fluff

Word count: 1.1K

A/N: hi! I loved 1x05, so here’s something about it. Hope you like it. Enjoy! x

JJ’s Masterlist

It’s a hot Sunday afternoon, you’re on your boat with JJ, who’s smoking with his sunglasses on. You were talking about the Midsummer dance, since you’re a Kook and your family wants you to go there. Topper offered to be your partner and you agreed, since your boyfriend, a Pogue, can’t participate. Still, you hoped that JJ would have said something about it, moved by jealousy perhaps or the desire to make you happy, but he just seemed unconcerned.

“So, you’re telling me that you’re not even a little bit jealous of Topper?”

He shrugs, breathing out some smoke.

“Do I look like I would be jealous of somebody like Topper?”

“You certainly look like somebody who wouldn’t come to the dance with me,” you reply, testily.

“Babe, you just have to tell me. One word and I do whatever you like. If you want me to be there, I’ll be there,” he says with a smile.

You’re suddenly suspicious: it’s true, JJ would always agree to do something with you, especially dangerous things, but this time it feels like a trap. You’re now sure he’s trying to hide his protectiveness towards you, so you try to push him over the edge.

“Are you sure, J? I mean, you should wear a suit, maybe even pretend to be a waiter to be there and dance with me, something that you don’t even like to do, in front of my parents and the other Kooks. It’s not really your cup of tea,” you say, observing every muscle of your boyfriend. He still seems really calm, but you see a jolt in his hand, while he’s putting out his cigarette. Oh, he’s so jealous. You got him!

“Do I look like I care?” He asks you with effrontery.

You shake your head.

“I think that you’re gonna handle it perfectly,” you answer, giving him a peck on the lips.

Tonight’s the night. You’re wearing your best dress, JJ sent you a text telling you that the plan is still in motion with John B. You’re a little bit nervous: you don’t like pushing JJ’s buttons, but this is important to you and you don’t want to be there with somebody who’s not your boyfriend. This is also the only way to have him there, since your parents don’t approve your relationship with him for obvious reasons. You just hope that they won’t see him or, at least, that they’ll just let him be. Speaking of your parents, they’re calling out your name right now.

Ten minutes later, you’re there with Topper, but you don’t see JJ nearby. You’re turning around too often, so Topper starts getting suspicious about it.

“Is everything okay? Is somebody following you or something?” He jokes.

“What?”

His voice is so irritating, you can’t believe that your parents would love to have him as your boyfriend instead of JJ.

“You’re acting weird, please stop,” he whispers to your ear, while smiling to the people in the room.

“And you’re acting like my father,” you say, then you leave his embrace and go away.

This is not going as planned: JJ is nowhere to be seen and your parents already look lost, because you just left Topper’s side. You breathe out, hoping that Sarah or Kie will appear soon next to you.

“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier,” you hear Topper’s voice behind you. You sigh.

“Topper, you’re a good guy, but…”

“I also forgot to mention that you look really beautiful, tonight,” he adds.

“And this is my time to interfere. Hi Topper, please leave my girl alone, she already has a boyfriend,” JJ says and when you turn around, you see him with some empty glasses on a tray.

“Who made you work here?” Topper asks, surprised.

“Do you work for the police?” JJ replies, shaking his head. “Come on, go away, she saved all of her dances just for me, so you can bore someone else”.

You burst out laughing and Topper mustn't like it, because he runs away livid with rage, probably to call Rafe and his other friends to kick JJ out, but you don't care: he's finally here. JJ leaves the silver plate so he can dance with you.

“You were jealous,” you say, while he’s holding your waist.

“No, I told you: I don’t care”.

“You’re such a liar,” you reply, a smirk on your face.

“Whatever,” he says.

Then he leans down to mutter these words in your ear: "But if you thought I wanted to be the only one to lay a hand on you, you were completely right."

Shivers get down your spine, when you hear his hoarse voice. You didn't even realize you closed your eyes. Now you just feel the heat of JJ's body against yours as you slow dance, the cool air rushing up your ankles. This could be the best moment of your life.

If it weren't for JJ who’s now pulling you away, because Rafe and Topper are chasing you. You run off to the beach, your parents yelling after you, while you laugh and feel free, taking off your heels for more comfort. He takes off his bow tie, throwing it behind him. Luckily your boat is nearby, so you two get on that and hide in the cabin, hoping that the others have not seen you, because you are protected by the darkness of the night. JJ’s still trying to catch his breath, while you’re chuckling.

“What?”

“I’m just thinking about Topper’s face when you appeared,” you answer and he laughs.

“He’s so irritating”.

“Right?”

“He never had a chance with you anyway,” JJ says.

You give him a sly look.

“Why? ‘Cause it’s always been you?”

“No, ‘cause you’re obviously better than him. You’re way out of my league too, honestly. Sometimes I even wonder why you’re with me. You’re better than everybody,” he answers and your heart melts.

You cup his face, your hands caressing his warm skin. His eyes are so blue, they seem the ocean and you’d like to swim into them. He’s holding his breath, as if he’s waiting for you to break up with him right here, right now. But you’re not gonna do that.

“You underestimate yourself, babe. I’m lucky to have you by my side, my knight in shining armor,” you say. “Also, you should put on these elegant clothes more often”.

“Oh, is it?” He asks, his lips on yours.

“Yeah,” you answer with a smile, before he kisses you. “Admit that you were jealous!”

“I was jealous, okay?” JJ squeals, exasperated. “Now let me kiss you!”

You knew it.

[the-troll-book-of-mormon]

@davekatweek day 1: plush!

in which dave does not want anything remotely puppet-like to watch the proceedings

(+ my rushed attempt at dialogue below)

DAVE: hey karkat sorry to totally crush your wildest selfcest dreams here but do you think maybe we could put that cool guy away before we go any further here

KARKAT: WHAT?

DAVE: your squishy dude over there with the sideways mohawk

DAVE: lil kat

KARKAT: ARE YOU REFERRING TO MY CUSHION EFFIGY?

DAVE: ok theres absolutely no way thats actually the troll word for plushies but ill let it slide without completely derailing the conversation this time

DAVE: yes that guy

DAVE: could we maybe do this without him watching

DAVE: idk something about the way hes been staring at me with those big yellow depression eyes is just killin my vibe

KARKAT: WOW DAVE, REALLY GLAD THAT AFTER ALL THIS TIME YOU FINALLY FOUND IT WITHIN THE ECHOING CAVERNS OF YOUR HOLLOW PUMP BISCUIT TO TELL ME THAT MY "DEPRESSION EYES" ALLEGEDLY "KILL YOUR VIBE".

KARKAT: ANY OTHER COMPLAINTS YOU WANT TO GET OFF YOUR NUB WHILE YOU'RE ALREADY SCUTTLING YOUR EFFRONTERY GASH?

DAVE: dude what

DAVE: thats totally different

DAVE: i love your depression eyes you know i love your depression eyes

KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW, DAVE, IS THIS A THING THAT I KNOW?

KARKAT: YOU DON'T THINK THERE COULD BE ANYTHING CONFUSING ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE CLAIMING TO "LOVE" AN ANATOMICAL FEATURE OF MINE THAT YOU SIMULTANEOUSLY FIND SO DISGUSTING THAT YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BRING YOURSELF TO ENGAGE IN CONCUPISCENT ACTIVITIES IN ITS PRESENCE?

KARKAT: ONCE AGAIN I AM COMPLETELY MYSTIFIED BY THE BOUNDLESS GENIUS OF YOUR ATROPHYING SPONGE. HOW COULD I EVER HOPE TO KEEP UP?

DAVE: holy shit dude i cannot believe this is actually something youre stuck on

DAVE: this is a real unfortunate time to be getting into this but maybe its because your depression eyes are attached to the real life body of my sexy as fuck boyfriend and i can look at them and not get the weird fucking heebie jeebies about being watched or secretly filmed

KARKAT: OH.

DAVE: i mean look hes cute and all and on the one hand its genuinely hilarious that in a way were fulfilling plush karkats voyeuristic fantasies that he inherited from you

KARKAT: HEY!

DAVE: but on the other its kinda jarring that every time i glance up and see his weird little fabric face im getting flashbanged by my kid selfs fucked up programming and for a split second its like im seeing something completely different

DAVE: so yeah nothing wrong with his depression eyes specifically its just that theyre eyes and theyre not real and somehow that makes it way more real

DAVE: like maybe someone somehow snuck a webcam in there just now when i wasnt looking

DAVE: which doesnt actually make sense because first of all why

DAVE: and second of all im always keeping my eye out for that sort of thing anyway so i would definitely notice before we got this far

DAVE: but all this dumb shit just makes it kinda hard to focus on the actual depression bedroom eyes right in front of my face

DAVE: not to mention the rest of this effigy im tryin to get my ganderbulbs and prongs all over

KARKAT: OKAY I GET IT, STOP TRYING TO DISTRACT ME FROM THE FEELINGS JAM BY APPROPRIATING TROLL VERNACULAR.

KARKAT: I'LL PUT HIM IN THE OTHER ROOM.

...

i had more of the scene i could write, but it was getting long and im already late for day 1! maybe one day i'll actually write out a scene and post it on ao3

[gvaine]

re: your notes on your most recent reblog.... do you by chance have some recs for arthur-gets-turned-on-by-merlins-magic fics? 👀 👀 👀

yes, though truthfully not too many!! not all of these are porny or 100% focus on magic kink. i'm sure these fics are quite popular already - but i hope you enjoy this little selection hehe

bound to the ground (by the loneliest sound) by objectlesson 1.8k words, rated E i could read this every day for the rest of my life.

Safekeeping by schweet_heart 5.5k words, rated E

this tangled thicket by objectlesson 6.5k words, rated E

Splitting the Road by queerofthedagger 3k words, rated T

Revelation by lamardeuse 5.4k words, rated E

Light and Dark by Tierfal 742 words, rated G

Revelation by ella_bane 737 words, rated E

Your Eyes Glow by Eldritch_Ambrosia 3.2k words, rated E

magic in your eyes by OnceFutureEmrys 1.3k words, rated G

bonus not-really-magic-kink-but-kind-of: in effrontery by withlightning 1.6k words, rated E

i am always looking for more like this too <3