#eek yeah this post is about drag too hi i think drag is so interesting and cool

[crowliphale]

Best part about Kremy's drag looks is the fake breasts actually. It's like. The Pinnacle of what drag is all about. Lizardfolk don't produce milk, they simply cannot have breasts even if they tried, and yet Kremy wears a fake pair whenever he wants to Be A Woman.

He's exaggerating a concept of femininity that doesn't even exist for his species, highlighting an unachievable caricature of womanhood. It's so awesome actually... Kicks my feet twirls my hair

[acreepqueen]

Inktober 2020 |Day 1: Fish|

Eek! Guess I’m doing Inktober this year! This isn’t the best thing I’ve ever written but, I really hope you guys enjoy this.

Word Count: 1,679

------------------------------------------------------------

You had never been much of a believer in anything you couldn’t see or prove. Even then, you were prone to doubt something you couldn’t explain. That was why, when the aquarium in town had announced it was revealing a newly discovered species, you were skeptical to say the least. The information they had released to the public was limited, but there was talk in the town of it being something monstrous. You’d scoffed at the idea but your curiosity was peaked. It certainly wouldn’t hurt to take a trip to the aquarium. You knew you’d enjoy the species they for sure had even if this new thing turned out to be a bust. 

The crowds at the exhibit’s debut were surprisingly large, though not entirely unexpected. After all, it had been the talk of the town since it was announced. You slipped through the hoard with only slight difficulty. Before long, you were able to see the exhibit. It was odd that there was a barrier put up to keep people away from the glass. The enclosure itself was rather ominous. It wasn’t as well lit as the other tanks and it was huge. You were pretty sure it could comfortably house a whale. Still, it was unnerving that you didn’t see anything but a couple small fish and a manta ray. You eyes scanned the crowd around you for any workers, but you didn’t have time to find anyone. 

Murmurs from the people around you suddenly quieted and you glanced back at the tank in slight confusion. You gasped as your eyes met a pair startlingly similar to yours. Although, with a start, you realized that the face of what ever you were looking at was much bigger than yours. You froze unsure what to do or feel as you watched the creature. Never had you seen something quite like it. It looked humanoid, the biggest difference being the giant fish tail in place of legs. On the tail, the scales were a murky black and sharp looking spines ran down it. What at first you had thought was hair you soon realized was a mass of tentacles on the creature’s head. Its eyes were pitch black voids which made it impossible to tell where, if at all, it was looking. Though, the your main concern lay with the creature’s mouth. Teeth that made shards of broken glass look soft sat in its mouth. You gulped slightly as you watched the thing move. It looked agitated to say the least.

Within moments the silence of the crowd was broken by jeering and the sounds of cameras clicking. Many had neglected to see or follow the many posted signs stating to turn off your camera flash. You winced as the creature bared its teeth. Something in your gut churned as people continued to ignore the rules. One young girl ducked under the banister and walked up to the glass. She stood about a foot away and turned her back to the tank. She smiled, posing briefly for a picture. 

You saw what was going to happen moments before it did. Without thinking you slid under the banister and pushed the girl often the side as it slammed into the glass baring its teeth once more. No one in the crowd behind you missed the loud smash, but with the blood rushing in your ears you didn’t hear it at first. You turned to the tank only to see two huge cracks stretching out from the places where the creatures hands had smacked into the glass. You felt a chill run through you. The glass was a couple of inches thick and it had been cracked as if it were nothing. 

Most everyone had run away by now, but you couldn’t make your legs move. You stood frozen in place making direct eye contact with a humanoid sea monster twice your size. Okay, yeah. This is not how you had planned your day to go. To your surprise it didn’t continue breaking the glass, instead it put its hands on it looking at you in a way you could only describe as curious. Still, you didn’t trust the look in its eyes. It blinked and that was all you needed to snap out of it. You slipped back behind the banister but continued to watch the creature. It was still watching you with interest, hands pressed up against the glass. You took some time to study it more closely. Its skin was a dark greyish blue hue that reminded you vaguely of the deep deep ocean. The more you looked at it the more it looked emaciated and even a bit sickly. Though, maybe that was just how this species typically looked. Afterall, this was the first time you’d ever seen one. 

Hesitantly you waved at the creature. With its sharp, boney fingers it waved back mimicking you. You couldn’t help the smile that slipped onto your face. It once again copied you, smiling back. Feeling more than a little amused you stretched backwards with your arms behind your head and it copied you again. You were getting ready to try something else when a voice behind you caused you to jump.

“Amazing. I’ve never seen em’ do that. Typically he’s pretty damn mean, that one,” a worker stated, looking at you incredulously. You weren’t sure what to say but the creature bared its fangs at the worker beside you and swam away. Only peeking out at you briefly from behind a large piece of coral behind ducking down again.

“He don’t like me one bit, I tell ya. Won’t take nothin’ I give em’. Spiteful lil’ retch would rather starve to death than eat the food I’ve got!” He ranted. You grimaced but listened on politely. So you were right about the creature looking unhealthy. 

“We’re gettin’ real desperate now. Everyone’s had a go at takin’ care of em’ but he’s just hateful. Ricky had to get stitched up after he got a little too close to em’.”

You weren’t sure you liked where this conversation was going. If you were about to be asked to do what you thought you were going to, you weren’t sure if you could refuse. You didn’t want the creature to starve to death and it would probably be a once in a lifetime opportunity. Although, you didn’t really have a death wish either.

“Maybe you’d like to give it a go?” the worker asked hopefully. You frowned slightly and he piped up.

“I’m sure they’d pay ya good money if they know he’ll take food from ya!” he encouraged. You glanced back at the tank, more specifically the large cracks in the glass. Looking back towards the coral your eyes locked with a pair of sunken black ones. To hell with it.

“Okay, fine. But I’ll for sure sue if I get seriously hurt,” you agreed staring down the worker. He clapped his hands excitedly and thanked you, before he practically dragged you along.

The nerves hit you like a trainwreck the moment a bucket of dead fish was placed at your feet. You stood a couple of feet away from the open tank absolute terrified. This was such a bad idea and you were totally going to get yourself killed.

“Now, just scootch a lil bit closer to the tank and call for em’,” the man instructed. You inched forward on trembling legs with the bucket in your hand. Dead fish was certainly not a pleasant smell. 

“H-hey,” you called softly. Your voice was barely above a whisper. 

“He’s not gonna hear ya if-” the man cut himself off when a head peeked out of the water. God, up close he seemed so much bigger. You wanted nothing more than to bolt in that moment but you kept your feet planted firmly.

“Hi, I have food,” you stately lamely gesturing towards the fish. The creature upturned his nose at the bucket and you couldn’t help but let out a nervous laugh.

“M-maybe something fresher would be better...?” you inquired towards the worker. He shook his head.

“Nah, his kind clean off carcasses normally. We can’t feed em’ rotten fish though, they’re afraid it might hurt em’,” the worker explained. Your eyes widened a smidge, but that would certainly explain the teeth. You picked up a fish from the bucket and took a step towards the creature.

“I know it’s not what you normally eat, but you have to eat something. I don’t want you to die...” you trailed off, unsure why you were trying to converse with it in the first place. To your surprise it placed its hands onto the side and laid its head down on top of it. It still watched you warily but it didn’t seem malicious. Slowly, you set the bucket down and pulled out a fish watching it all the while for any sort of sign it might want to hurt you. You cautiously walked over to it and held out the fish. It snarled and you flinched, but stayed rooted in place. With what sounded like a heavy sigh it took the fish and plunged back into the tank with it. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding and turned back to look at the caretaker. His mouth was agape and he looked stunned. 

Finally, he asked, “Why didn’t you just throw the fish!? The hell were you thinking!? Why was he so gentle?! He won’t let anyone get within a foot of that tank!” he didn’t seem like he knew whether he should scold or applaud you. You just grimaced and let the man talk your ear off for a moment. Eventually, you swapped contact information and he said that he’d set up a time for you to be interviewed tomorrow. You weren’t sure the legality of all this, but you’d been meaning to find a new job for a while now. If it meant working at an aquarium with a potentially dangerous sea monster, so be it.

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

orange and gold

...I just need more Cole and Vania content, they seem like they'd be great friends.

Basically it's just 'Cole goes to visit her there, they almost burn down the kitchen, and make way too many puns', lol.

Set a few months after Master of the Mountain, but before Seabound or The Island.

Also yeah, I couldn't think of a better title, sue me- I just know that they wear one of the colours at some point, so... 🤦‍♀️😂

Trigger warnings: none I think? Huh-

Also, bingo!! I really need to learn better time management, dear freaking gosh- I hope I'm not too late though? I know it's like half a day late, eek- and I was supposed to post this earlier, but I ended up literally falling asleep while writing it😂

Thank you so much Fabro, for hosting such a cool event!:D Your comments on my fics literally never fail to make my day<3. And I'm so glad that I met so many awesome, really skilled people through this event too - it's been a lot of fun working alongside y'all:D, I wish I'd had more time to interact instead of posting stuff and vanishing lol, but exams be like:////

Prompt: cooking (does baking count as cooking? I realized too late lol-) from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Word Count: 2497

---

Trying to escape from killer dire-bats hadn't been on Cole's to do list today - although the mountains were kind of beautiful.

It was a bit difficult to see them while he was being dragged to his death, but hey, didn't Jay always tell them to be more positive?

That was, until he made the mistake of looking down.

Miles of snowcapped mountains touched the pastel blue sky, but he was more focused on exactly how high he was from the ground.

Great.

Trying to swing back onto the Bounty, he didn't notice a golden-winged blur shoot past the bat, almost dropping their spear in haste.

"Let my friend go, or I'll-"

"Vania?"

She throws the spear at the bird, successfully knocking one of its wings.

Huh. She must've been practicing - throwing with accuracy while flying seemed kinda difficult.

"I'm so sorry!" she replies, grabbing his arm before he fell down too. She winces at the strain on her wings, almost dropping him onto the deck. "I was supposed to come earlier, but there was an issue with one of the mines, and it took forever to-"

"There ain't anything in this world that's managed to kill me yet," he replies jokingly, checking that the autopilot hadn't been damaged. "I doubt an angry bird is going to be the first."

"Didn't you mention that you became a ghost once? Pretty sure that means you were dead-"

"Shh, that's not an important detail," he jokes.

"If you say so," she replies with a grin. "Did I mention that Chompy's been tearing down the palace flower arrangements again?"

"Send my regards to the gardener-"

"Did you just make a pun?"

"Remind me why I decided to visit you again?"

"Because you love me?" she asks stepping onto the ground as the Bounty landed gently.

"I hereby crown you as my platonic soulmate," Cole deadpans, taking her hand. "Vania and Cole-"

"Destined to annoy each other for eternity," she giggles, swinging their hands up and down. "But seriously - thanks. I don't think I realized how much work being a queen was."

"What's it like?"

"I mean - I'm glad that people trust me, and they come to me if they have a problem, but the paperwork is a nightmare. I never get to go outside anymore, I swear."

"Paperwork? Also, you just invited me here for a week. I don't wanna disturb you?"

"Nah, I cleared my schedule, don't worry. And trust me, you don't want to know. Everything requires some sort of official written thing, and it's so boring-"

"Official? But you're the queen?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't really want to change something unless it benefits the people. Not after..."

Her smile dims, eyes straying to the palace walls.

Oh- oh.

"You're nothing like him," Cole says firmly, squeezing her hand. "I mean, if you need to take a break, or you can make your job a bit easier by cutting out something unnecessary, that's just gonna help you become a better queen. You've definitely got the interests of your people at heart, and that's the most important thing, you know? And well, uh, everything seems to be going great so far - you don't have to beat yourself up over someone else's mistakes."

"Thanks," she replies softly, her smile slowly returning. "Speaking of breaks, what do you think we should do this time?"

"You could show me around the city again?"

"You've already seen everything cool," Vania giggles, skipping ahead of him. "We don't renovate much - unlike you guys-"

"Hey, it's not our fault that our city gets destroyed every few months-"

"More like every few days," she teases, tying back her golden hair. "How about we find some dragons to adopt?"

"Tempting, but where would you keep them?"

"They could sleep in my room-"

She breaks off when she notices him laughing. "What?"

"N- nothing," Cole replies, in between laughs. "Jay and I just made a bet."

"On what?"

"How many dragons you've adopted. I bet at least six, he bet fifteen."

"Well, jokes on both of you - I'm pretty sure my advisor's going to throw a fit if I show up with another one," she starts, giggling. "We've got twenty living in the palace right now."

"Twenty dragons?"

"They're so cute! You just look into their adorable little eyes," Vania pauses for breath, continuing her animated gesturing, "and you can't help but wanna hug them!"

"Oh, Jay's going to be so mad."

"Aww, I'm sorry guys. They're just too adorable!"

"...Wanna hear a funny story?"

"Yeah, sure!"

"I actually used to be terrified of dragons-"

"No way!" Vania exclaims. "Y'all have been on a lot of adventures though, so-"

"Nah, we used to have our own dragons at first. They were pretty cool! I just- I'm a simple guy! Huge animals with wings are scary up close when you're barely a teenager."

"Or when you're really short-"

"We're the same height!" Cole exclaims, facepalming in a bit of a fondly exasperated way.

"I'm two years younger than you-"

---

"Ugh, whose idea was this?"

"Yours," Vania grins, sitting down on the kitchen counter.

"You were supposed to help me, not leave me high and dry!" Cole accuses jokingly, staring at all the appliances they'd found in the cupboards.

"'One must always be prepared for new adventures,'" she quotes seamlessly, waving one of- what was his name again? Mulch something? Oh! Clutch! Some explorer he was, leaving them to die in the pyramid - Clutch Powers' books in the air.

"Fine," he sighs, staring at the old recipe book she'd found in one of their back cupboards. "But you've gotta help me? I almost burned down-" "Woah, what? If you finish that sentence with 'kitchen'-" "In my defense, Kai was playing a prank on me-" "In my defense, I wouldn't like to explain how the queen of Shintaro burnt down the palace by teaching one of her friends to cook," she grins, flipping through the pages. "What do you wanna start with?" "Something simple?" "Have you ever tried baking bread before? It's a lot of fun!" "I haven't really had the time, but that sounds kinda interesting."

He skims the recipe, raising his eyebrows. "Wait, why does this take hours? I thought you said it was simple?"

"Trust me, it is," she laughs, adding, "besides, I still wanna hear about all your adventures!" "Uh... okay," Cole replies hesitantly, "but if this fails, I'm so sorry." "Give yourself some credit, you guys literally saved the world! Multiple times!" "Bold of y'all to assume we know how we did it," he laughs, only half-kidding. "Besides. I botched soup once."

"I've botched toast," she mock-sighs, smiling. "Pretty sure that makes us even."

"Lemme get this straight. You've messed up toasting bread, but you can bake it from scratch?"

"Trust me, I don't know either," she giggles, trying to open a brightly coloured packet of... something? Did flour come in packets that small?

"Uh, why are you opening something called 'feast'?" he asks, eyebrows creased in confusion.

"Feast," she echoes, trying to stifle her laughter. "Off to a... rocky start, aren't we?"

It took him a second.

"I already regret this," he jokes, facepalming. "But I'd say that your puns are, uh, gold."

"I've un- unleashed-" breaking off, she half-falls off the counter, laughing so hard her face starts to go red, "a monster."

---

"Uh, is it supposed to look like that?" Cole asks, frowning.

The mixture looked less like the dough he'd been expecting - more like one of Jay's inventions gone wrong.

Badly wrong, he thought, eyes widening at the goopy mess of foam that threatened to spill over the jug.

"The yeast?" Vania echoes, poking her head out of one of the cupboards. "Yeah, all good! It always looks a little gross, and you're gonna doubt ever eating bread again, but at least it doesn't taste like it's fermented-"

"It's what?"

"Yeah," she grimaces, exaggerating her disgust a bit. "If aliens ever fell from the sky, they'd think we were crazy for eating bread-"

"Aliens? I think we're a bit crazy!" Cole exclaims, trying not to laugh.

Vania smiles, then sighs, lugging a huge bag of flour onto the counter. "I can never open these bags properly," she starts, eyeing the the bag a bit warily, "and it always makes such a huge mess all over the kitchen. You'd think they'd make it easier for people to use, right? I swear-"

He jokingly puts his hands over his ears. "I can't hear you!" "But you know that I've sworn off swearing-" she replies, breaking off with a laugh. "Pun not intended - that actually made sense in my head. I swear!"

"No," Cole interjects with a grin, shaking his head. "You don't, remember?"

"See, this is why we're friends-"

"Friends? Is that all I am to you?"

"Oh, be quiet," she shoots back, exaggeratedly dragging a hand down her face. "I mean, sure, just because everyone thinks that we're dating doesn't mean that we-"

Wait. What?

"People think that we're dating?" he asks, clamping a hand over his mouth in a poor attempt to muffle his laughter. "I- I- really?"

"I know, right?"

"Even my friends thought so at first," he confesses, dragging a hand down his face. "I mean, as much as I love you-"

"I love you too," Vania replies, completely seriously. "Even if you'll always be more like an annoying-"

"Hey-"

"Sibling to me than anything else," she finishes, grabbing a pair of scissors. Cole watches, a little alarmed, as she stabs them into the flour bag over and over.

"Is it... supposed to be this difficult to just open the bag? Seems kinda stupid-"

"Well, er, they have this piece of paper with glue that you're supposed to pull away from the rest of the bag, but it never works properly and I-"

"Well, we could always make our own flour," Cole interjects, laughing. "I mean, I've got a scythe? Let's go!"

"Uh, but we don't have wheat growing here. I don't think it'd suit the climate very well?"

"Wheat a shame," Cole sighs jokingly, measuring out the flour (which had, finally, escaped the bag).

"Oh my gosh," Vania deadpans, "you did not just-"

"Yep, I did."

"You're horrible," she giggles, "then again, I was the one who started this whole debacle, so I think we'll share the blame."

"Debacle? Where'd you pick that one up from? Sounds kinda cool-"

"Oh, it's from a book someone wrote about you guys," Vania says casually, pouring a cup of water into the bowl.

"Hey, uh-" Cole starts hesitantly, twisting his fingers back and forth, then breaks off. "Why'd you read all that stuff about us, anyways? Adventure books don't really seem like something you read a lot, since we have similar favorite books. I mean..."

"Well, um..." Vania trails off, clearly uncomfortable. "Uh- I guess, well, it sounds kinda stupid, but I'd never really met anyone my age who wasn't a royal or something. I... er, I didn't want to be left out, you know?"

Cole thinks back to a scroll; a quest, a sacrifice. One that his friends never seemed to really notice, unless it was with horror or flinches. Not that he blamed them, but - joking about how he was much more useful to the team when he was freaking dead than he was before he'd stumbled and fell in the temple?

That had been a bit far, even for his best friend. Locks could always be picked or something, he didn't need to be a ghost to provide some sort of value-

Well, that's not completely true, is it? a small voice questions, and he can't keep his hands from shaking a little.

"Jay here thinks you're the least valuable ninja."

Not enough to be a performer. Now, not good enough to even be a ninja, apparently.

Well, he reminds himself firmly, you don't have to be the best - just stand up to those who are cruel and unjust.

Nothing but a scar that glowed warm orange occasionally left of the whole Cursed Realm ordeal, sometimes it was all too easy to forget - or pretend - that it had never even happened in the first place.

Other times, like when he'd dropped a glass of water on the floor and his hands hadn't stopped shaking for hours, or when he woke up screaming, expecting to fall through his bed again, it still felt like he was trapped as a ghost. Literally - and maybe a little figuratively as well.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

"Thanks for trusting me with that," he replies softly. "And I'm sorry. That sounds... horrible, but, honestly, you're a pretty cool person, and I ain't just saying that because we're friends. People can be awful, and they can- they can leave, but you don't need to pretend to be someone you're not for people to accept you. I kinda know what it's like, and it's... just, uh, not great."

"No, thank you," Vania says, rubbing her eyes. "You're pretty cool, too. And I'm glad that we become friends, even if wasn't in the- the, er, greatest circumstances."

"Right back at ya. The fall was pretty terrifying, though," Cole says casually, as if memories of that nightmarish plunge into the depths of earth don't still send shivers down his spine.

"No, definitely! I was so sure we were gonna splat onto the ground or something, thank gosh we didn't."

"Yeah..." Cole trails off, reading the recipe they'd been following. "Oh- do we just leave the bowl somewhere for a few hours now?"

"Oh, yeah," Vania answers. "Other than clean up the kitchen, what else do you wanna do?"

"That's kind of you, but, ah, I don't mind. You can choose something."

"I don't mind either," she replies, covering the bowl with a dishcloth. "Seriously, I don't."

"Same here though."

"Really, I don't mind-" Vania breaks off with a laugh, adding, "Well, actually, there is something."

She doesn't elaborate, thoughtfully gazing out the window.

"Well, what is it? Don't keep me in the dark."

"Ugh, it's kinda stupid-"

"I'm sure that it's not- well, unless you want to try to jump off a flying ship with a homemade parachute to prove a bet to someone-"

"Do I even wanna know?"

"...uh, probably not. We're way too crazy sometimes, our Master has a hard time keeping us in check. Your thing, though?"

"Can I give you a hug?"

Cole blinks for a second, expecting some sort of punchline.

"That's your thing?"

"Well, yeah- I mean, I said it was kinda stupid-"

"No no, that's not what I meant. You're so sweet - that's all."

"Well, not more than you-"

"Nah, you're sweeter-"

"Let's just call it a tie," Vania says with a smile, reaching over to give her friend a hug. "Thank you so much, I swear- well, no, I don't, but you know, anyways-"

"Yeah," Cole replies, laughing softly. "I know."

[4kominato]

Part I: The Older Brothers 

Part II: The Younger Brothers

A/N: Hi friends... first of all... if you thought this blog was SFW i apologize, it’s not 😃 im very much a hoe. Second, yes, I’ve been mostly posting drawings, but I also enjoy writing so I’ll be posting these kinds of reactions and scenarios every now and then, mostly for Obey Me and probably Daiya. I’m not taking requests as of now but eventually, I might so stay tuned! I was originally gonna post all together, but it was getting kinda long ;) and also I was just too excited to post after I finished Satan’s LMAO. I finished Belphie but still working on Asmo and Beel so I’ll be posting the younger bros later ^-^

DESCRIPTION: Female MC making the brothers hard for the first time. Assume MC x Demon are in a fairly new relationship. [[NSFW below]]

(Word Count: 511)

It’d been roughly two months since you’d first confessed to the eldest of the demon brothers, Lucifer. The two of you have since, become official, and Lucifer made it very clear to his brothers that you were now his. Considering it was still pretty early in your relationship though, the two of you hadn’t been too intimate yet, but having already been a few months, you felt that it was time for that to change.

The other week, there was a huge sale on Akuzon and you happened to stumble across a good deal on a cute lingerie set. Unable to shake the thought that it’d be a good way to test the waters with your new boyfriend, you went ahead and bought it.

“What brings you here?” Lucifer answered the door shortly after you knocked.

“Can I sleep here tonight? There was a bug in my room,” you lied, looking up at him innocently.

“Oh?” he chuckled, raising an eyebrow at you, “Shall I go and kill it for you?”

“I mean… I’m already here so there’s no need. Plus I have no idea where it went, it probably crawled somewhere,” you reasoned as you pushed past him and welcomed yourself into his room.

“Well, alright then,” he finally agreed as he shut the door, “And where exactly do you plan to sleep?”

“Um, in your bed… with you,” you smiled pleadingly, hoping he wouldn’t put up too much of a fight.

“And who gave you permission to do that?”

“Hmm… me?”

“I see you’re being bold,” he smirked, stroking his fingers through your hair, “I guess since you’re my girlfriend now, I can’t say no to that suggestion.”

“Yay! I love you,” you giggled, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“I love you, too,” he grinned before leaning forward and pressing his lips against yours.

“Hey, Luci,” you mumbled into the kiss.

“Hm?” he hummed softly in response.

“Can I show you something?”

“Of course.”

Pulling away from him, you took a step back before beginning to unbutton your shirt. About two buttons down, you were stopped by a hand gripping your wrist and you were met with a slightly flushed, wide-eyed Lucifer.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked awkwardly whilst trying to still sound stern.

“Showing you the ‘something’ that you agreed I could show you. Do you disagree now?”

“Uh well, not exactly...”

“Don’t worry, we’re not gonna do anything. This is just an exhibition,” you teased as you proceeded against the force on your wrist to finish unbuttoning your shirt.

He gulped as you slid the garment off your shoulders and let it fall to the ground, his cheeks turning an even brighter shade of red as he drank in the sight of your lace adorned breasts. Smirking to yourself, you reapproached him and slung your arms around his neck, your thigh rubbing up against the bulge forming in his pants.

“Excited are we? I haven’t even shown you the bottom half yet.”

“It’s been a few hundred years, alright… give me a break…”

(Word Count: 500)

Classes at RAD were finally finishing up, and what better way to celebrate than a pool party? Diavolo had planned it, of course, inviting all the demon brothers, the other exchange students, and even their friends from the Celestial Realm.

Over the course of the semester, you took a particular liking to Mammon, and despite him denying it for the longest time, about a week before finals, he finally admitted that he liked you too. You were both looking forward to spending more time together at the pool party and having a good time now that you finally didn’t have to worry about school.

Arriving at the pool, you were immediately met with Diavolo who greeted you and welcomed you to the gathering. You saw that mostly everyone had arrived already and you were probably the last. It didn’t take you too long to spot Mammon’s silver hair and tan skin in the crowd so without hesitation, you started making your way over to him.

“Hi Mammon,” you said shyly, interrupting his conversation with his brothers.

“He- WHOA!” he exclaimed as he turned to look at you, his eyes wide as ever seeing you in your bikini. “Uh… hey guys, excuse me for a sec, would ya?” he said nonchalantly as he stood up and quickly dragged you away to the nearest room he could find.

“Oi! What do ya think you're wearing?!” he blurted pinning you to the door, “Or like… why aren’t you wearing more?”

“It’s a bikini, Mammon, because this is y’know, a pool party…?” you mocked, furrowing your eyebrows at him.

“Grr… pool party my butt, you can’t be goin’ out there in front of all those guys wearin’ that. Especially not around Asmo, he might get all touchy, grabby y'know.”

“What about you? I’m sure you want some touchy, grabby action right now don’t you?” you teased, knowing he was just being jealous and possessive.

“Me?! No way, I ain’t nothing like Asmo, I can definitely control myself around a human.”

“Oh? But I think that predicament in your trunks say otherwise.”

“Oi! W-why’re you lookin’ down there?” he blushed, finally letting go of his grip on you as he turned his body away.

“I was just taking a peak at your body… and then my eyes kinda just… slipped,” you feigned innocence as you walked up to him, your hands stroking over his toned abs as you quickly went in for a kiss.

“You better not tell the others about this…” he said shyly, finally giving in and wrapping his arms around you, his hands going straight to your ass.

“I mean… they probably already have their suspicions considering you dragged me away… alone…”

“WHAT?!”

“Shh! Calm down, babe… if we're already here, we might as well make good use of the situation, right? I know you want to.”

“Uh… I mean… I suppose… but only because we’re already here…” he agreed shyly, his cheeks still flushed as he avoided eye contact with you.

(Word Count: 513)

“Levi…” you whined as you laid sprawled out on his bed, “When are you gonna be done with that game?”

“Hold on… I’m almost done…” he replied, his attention still fixed on his screen.

“That’s what you said thirty minutes ago!?”

“No, I’m serious this time.”

“Ugh…”

Growing impatient, you peeled yourself off his bed and made your way towards him, sitting down right next to him on the sofa, as close as you possibly could. Leaning against him, you turned to look at him, intently gazing at him as he continued to play his game.

“Levi, why are you ignoring me?” you whispered into his ear before pressing soft kisses along his neck, wrapping  your arms around one of his and hugging it close to your body.

“I-I’m not… I’m just trying to finish this up really quick...” he stuttered, still trying his best to concentrate on his game, but now that you were all over him and distracting him, he was failing miserably.

“You are though…” you pouted at him, leaning your head against his when he refused to look at you.

As hard as he tried to ignore it, on top of you leaning on him, he couldn’t help but notice the feeling of your boobs pressing against his arm. It was embarrassing for him  to admit it, but in all honesty he had thought of you in ‘that way’ many times before, but never while you were around. After all, you were his girlfriend so he couldn’t really help it, but he didn’t wanna be making advances if you weren’t on the same page as him.

“Babe… are you okay?” you giggled, noticing his face was now as red as a tomato.

“Yeah! I’m perfectly fine!” he lied, biting his lip as he struggled to retain his focus.

You hadn’t really noticed how badly he was doing in his game until suddenly, the words ‘Game Over’ appeared in huge letters on the screen.

“Gah!” he exclaimed as he let his console fall to the ground, his hands immediately going up to cover his face as he threw his head back, “Dammit…”

As your eyes went down from the game console on the ground, then back up to Levi, you were suddenly stopped in your tracks by a noticeable tent in his pants. You could feel your face flush a little at the realization that you must’ve been the cause, but to say it wasn’t a little flattering would’ve been a lie.

“Levi…?” you started, a playful tone in your voice as an uncontrollable smirk spread across your lips. You knew it would embarrass him to point it out, but could you really pass up the opportunity to have a little fun with him? “Could this be why you lost your game?” you giggled as you gently poked at his bulge.

“EEK!” he squealed as he scrambled to find something to cover himself, avoiding eye contact with you once he did, “I-it was all your fault…”

“Oh was it? I’m sorry, Levi… want me to fix it?”

“F-fix it...??!”

“Mhm.”

*nose bleed, hyperventilates, dies*

(Word Count: 508)

“Satan,” you called softly, finding him sitting on one of the sofas in the library reading a book.

“Oh, hi,” he greeted with a smile, gesturing for you to sit with him, “How’d you know I was here?”

“Where else? We don’t have classes right now, but you weren’t in your room… I figured you must have your nose in a book though, and what’s the one place full of books besides your room?”

“Ah, I see. So you’re good at logical reasoning.”

“Of course, I learned from the best!” you smiled, nudging him suggestively. “Watcha reading anyways?” you asked before resting your head on his shoulder.

“Just a book about humans… it’s possible that a certain human may have sparked a deeper interest in my knowledge of them…”

“A certain human you say?! Are you talking about… Solomon?”

“Are you really making me state the obvious?” he whined as he shook his head at you.

“Alright fine, I won’t,” you giggled before pressing a kiss to his cheek, “By the end of that book, you’ll probably know more about humans than me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well… I was never really a good student...”

“Really? You seem to be doing well in your classes here.”

“Maybe that’s because... I’ve taken a liking to demons.”

“Is that so?” Satan chuckled, putting his book down for a moment to flirt back with you.

“Mhm… or maybe a certain demon,” you smirked as you pressed your lips against his. He didn’t let the kiss last long, smiling at you lovingly as he pulled away and holding his book back up to his face, “Are you gonna let me finish reading now?”

“Hmm… we’ll see…” 

Shifting yourself slightly away from him, you positioned yourself in a way that you could rest your head in his lap. Once you’d made yourself comfortable, you looked up at him, finding that he was already looking at you, his cheeks flushing as he awkwardly broke eye contact with you and reverted his focus back to the book. You giggled at how embarrassed you were making him, continuing to gaze up at him while he read.

“Stop staring at me…” Satan stated as he shifted slightly in his seat.

“I can’t stare at my boyfriend?”

“You’re distracting me.”

“I didn’t necessarily agree to letting you finish your reading.”

“Ergh…” he growled in frustration, thinking he should just try harder to ignore you.

“By the way, your lap is becoming oddly uncomfortable,” you teased, feeling his stiffening bulge pressing up against the back of your head as you continuously squirmed around in his lap.

“Maybe you should stop moving around so much then…”

“Maybe you should stop reading.”

“Maybe you’re right,” he finally complied, quickly shutting his book and placing it on the small table in front of him, “I suppose the best way to learn about humans is from the humans themselves.”

“Are you suggesting… Solomon should give you a lesson about humans?”

“At this rate, I’ll be giving you a lesson about demons instead.”

[buddiewho]

@buckleysjareau saw your post 

I vied between Eddie being an absolute 'weak' butt-head who complains about virtually everything wrong with him, but then I figured he's also the one to be like no no I'm fine- he is a parent after all so some of that suck it up nature probably comes with being like no, no, I do not have a cold, I can’t. I don't need help. Buck freaks out, but not necessarily like he did with Bobby. He doesn't interrogate Eddie [the sort of gravitation they have and it just happens that the other will take care of the other], but I still think the Buddie dynamic has a combo of cheekiness and sassy things being said. Also, I couldn’t write it without Christopher. So this begs the question? Is this fluffy? Is it angst? Do we have enough comfort?: 

Eddie started coughing and Buck looked over at him. Concern pierced his eyes. Eddie shook his hands. "It's nothing," he said as he closed his locker. "It'll go away." The rest of the shift, Buck didn't take his eyes off Eddie. That wasn't unusual but this time he was watching just a little more attentively.

-- "Here," Buck placed a mug in front of Eddie. "It's honey tea. Might help with the cough." Eddie snickered.

"Tea," he mused and took a sip. He had to admit it was soothing. The end of their shift was nearing and the tea wasn't a miracle cure, obviously. Eddie's voice cracked as he tried to say, "S-ee," he cleared his throat, "you later, Buck."

"Whoa, that's one hell of a scratchy throat. Sure, you're not catching a cold or something?"

"I'll be fine," Eddie reassured him.

The next morning Eddie Diaz couldn't get out of bed. His body was sore and his throat did hurt like a bitch, but he still had to attempt rolling out of it for Christopher. Little did he know, Christopher had already woken himself up and even made breakfast.

"I almost called 911, because you were hard to wake up, but I knew you were still breathing," Chris said from the kitchen table. He proudly sat eating a bowl of cereal.

"Glad you didn't buddy." Eddie coughed. "Does this Hildy thing make tea?" He murmured.

"It makes hot water," a voice said as it appeared in the kitchen. "So just brew some hot water and put a tea packet in your cup." (OOC: ooh Oliver Stark's and every British heart is probably like eek, you Americans and now we’re back)...

”What are you doing here, Buck?” Eddie asked him.  "I let myself in just now. I was worried. And if you're feeling sick, you're going to rest up. Me and Christopher can hang out today too." Buck smiled at Chris, who gave him the biggest grin possible.

"Tell me why we exchanged keys again. I'm starting to regret that."

"No, you're not," Buck countered Eddie. "So what's the diagnosis?"

"I woke up sore, my throat hurts. So far nothing else."

"You keep talking like that and you're going to jinx it." Buck knocked on some wood.

"Whatever, Buck. Let me make this hot water." Buck and Chris watched as Eddie had his usual screaming match with the new coffee machine. When he successfully got it to work he turned and shrugged. "What? I still hate this thing."

__

That afternoon didn't go over so well for Eddie Diaz. His nose started stuffing up and the coughing was just atrocious. "That's it!" Buck exclaimed from his spot on the couch. "Get up!" He stood and gestured for Eddie to stand up. Christopher sat between them and he just laughed.

"It's not funny," his Dad commented. Chris just laughed as he watched Buck lead his Dad down the hall towards his room.

"Get into that bed and please don't make me put you in it."

"Come on, Buck. I'm fine." "Oh, okay, so you're going to make me." Eddie rolled his eyes. "You asked for it." So Buck proceeded to fireman lift Eddie and gently toss him onto his bed. "Rest a bit. I'm going to the store with Chris to get you a pharmacy." __

Eddie dozed off pretty easily. He won't lie. It was pretty easy. His body was still feeling sore, his head starting to feel like a balloon. Yes, it came pretty easy. He woke to yelling noises. That damn video game. Eddie jumped from the bed and dragged himself down the hall. Apparently, it wasn't the video game. It was Battleship at the dining table. "We're still doing it old school?" Buck laughed at Eddie's groggy voice.

"I found it tucked in his closet." "Hmm," Eddie raised an eyebrow. "Didn't know we had it. Who is winning?" Eddie remained hovering over Buck's shoulder.

"Me of course, Dad." Buck looked up at Eddie. "Yeah, Dad. Duh."

Eddie leans closer to Buck and whispers, "You know one day he'll figure out you're letting him win and he might be a little pissed."

"Have you taken any medicine yet? I left it by the night stand." Buck’s face suddenly felt very close and Eddie stood, stumbling back. 

"Nice change of subject. But no, I haven't." "Then what are you waiting for?" "You have an interesting way of taking care of sick people Buck. In fact, you’re barely doing anything for me but somehow you’re always right there.” He gestured to the lack of space between them for Eddie just noticed he hadn’t stumbled too far back. 

"Do I have to do everything? Your legs still work, right? I'll get you some water, make some food if you want,” Buck stood up and he was once again close; really tempting that whole ‘I won’t get sick from you’ thing. Christopher spoke up, breaking Eddie’s thoughts. 

"My Dad can't cook." "As my son always likes to remind me...so sure Buck what's for lunch?" Eddie took his chair.  "Let me see what you've got in the kitchen."

__

"What's a BLT?" Chris incredulously asked. "It's just a sandwich with bacon, lettuce and tomato, sometimes mayo," Buck gently explained.

"Gotta admit, it was satisfying," Eddie polished off the last bit of his sandwich. Chris was still picking at his wondering if he should complain, but every bit of him didn't want to. "Chris, you don't have to eat it." His Dad saved him the trouble.

"Cool, can I have peanut butter and jelly instead?"

"Coming right up," Buck jumped from the table before Eddie could.

"You know," Eddie coughed a little. "I'm just going to be sick more often. You can stick around to help out with these things, Buck."

Buck turned and gave him a look. "So now I’m suddenly good enough?"

"Maybe," Eddie joked. __

A few days later and they had the same shift again and they were standing at the lockers. "So how are you feeling?"

"Better. Christopher is now obsessed with Battleship, but I think it's like his legos. He enjoys putting the pegs into the board."

Buck smiled. "You wanted it old school."

"Yeah, that was like weeks ago." "I didn't feel like playing the video game. Wanted to do something different so we ransacked his room while you were resting."

"Thanks for coming over Buck," Eddie suddenly blurted out as he closed his locker.

"Maybe there is a reason we gave each other keys. You know, for moments like this." Buck said it so nonchalantly, so innocently. Eddie watched Buck walk away and he sighed. "Yeah, for moments like this Buck. That's right."

[all-hail-the-witcher]

you know I’m gonna hit u up with that sweet ralbert angst. song lyric to help you out? “tiLL SOMEONE GEtS huUUURRTTTTT” y’know that one belty one from world burn thanks please hurt my soul you’re so good at it—Fizz

alright, fizz, first of all, that line is from someone gets hurt, not world burn. not sure how you managed to mix that up, considering the song lyric you sent me is literally the name of the song

i actually thought about not posting this cause it has like every warning ever be careful kids

also it was further inspired by monster from frozen, bad at love by halsey, the a team by ed sheeran, and a pintrest prompt about person a saying that person b was just a drunk mistake and person b realizing person a didn’t drink all night

anyway read the warnings if anything triggers you don’t read it 

________________

ship: ralbert i guess

word count: 4684 eek

genre: angst with no happy ending

warnings: mentions of sex/hooking up but no explicit details, mentions of past prostitution/ abusive relationships, explicit cheating, drinking, someone running away, references to smoking, house parties, mentions of a parent leaving, I think that’s everything

editing: actually yes kinda

_________________

Albert woke up to someone yanking the covers off of him. “Not now, Elmer,” he mumbled. “Five more minutes.”

“I’m not Elmer.”

Albert’s eyes flew open to see none other than Spot Conlon standing at the foot of his bed, at least, he thought it was his bed. A quick scan of the room proved that yes, he was home. But that didn’t solve the problem of what the hell was Spot freaking Conlon doing in his room? He remembered at least two guys from last night, but he was fairly certain that Spot hadn’t been one of them.

“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in here? How do you even know where I live?” Albert say up, very glad that he had fallen asleep in his clothes from last night and wasn’t naked right now.

Spot seemed generally unbothered as he casually pulled out his switch to clean under his nails. “I know a lot of things.”

Alright. Clearly that conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere. “Well can you at least tell me why you’re here?” He turned on his phone and saw that he had two missed texts from Elmer and three from Jordan.

“Dasilva,” Spot said forcefully, and Albert’s head snapped up. If Spot was going to stab him, he wanted to be ready for it. But Spot didn’t look like he wanted to stab anyone. His eyes were hard with - was that fear? And his switch dangled from his hand unmenacingly. Instinctively, Albert scooted backwards. “You were with Higgins last night.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. Higgins? Albert thought. Racetrack Higgins? What had he been doing with Race last night? He’d never even talked to him before. Had he? Race had always intrigued him, he was his long time crush, but he was sure he would remember if he worked up the nerve to talk to him. Last night was still a bit of a blur.

“I was?” Albert looked at Spot skeptically. “I think I would remember if I talked to someone like him.”

In a flash, Spot had Albert pinned to the bed. He was so close Albert could smell the cigarette smoke on his breath. “Listen, kid, you were with Race last night. You were the only one. I don’t care how hungover you are right now. I need to know what happened.”

Maybe it was the familiar smell of cigarette smoke, but suddenly images flashed across Albert’s mind. Race laughing at something he had said. Race winking mischievously. Races lips on his.

“Yeah- yeah,” he stuttered. “Yeah I was with him last night.”

Spot smiled wickedly. “Well? What happened? What did you do to him?”

“What makes you think I did anything?” Albert shot back. Spot was really starting to get on his nerves. Obviously he had done stuff with Race, but he had consented. And he hadn’t been drunk either. Neither of them had. Sure they had both had a few beers, but neither of them had been at blackout level yet.

Spots face grew dark as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a green post it. In very messy handwriting was written the words: “it’s fine until someone gets hurt.”

Albert looked at Spot skeptically. “So?”

“So,” Spot said. “This was on my car this morning. That’s Races handwriting you dumbass. You did something to him. Something bad enough to make him run away.”

Albert could barely process what he was hearing. What made Spot think he was the reason Race left? Sure, he’d make a mistake, but it wasn’t bad enough to make some leave, much less someone he barely knew. “Why do you think I have anything to do with this?”

Spot took a deep breath. “Race has…..a long history with guys….and girls….and any kind of relationship actually now that I think about it.”

“So?”

Spots head snapped back to look at Albert. “Look, I’ll explain everything if you want me to. But you owe me details. You’re the reason my best friend is gone.” He made his way to the window, opened it and began to climb out. “Meet me at my house, 1 hour.” Then he shut the window.

Albert sighed, putting his face in his hands. It was far too early for this.

•••

55 minutes later Albert was dragging Elmer down a street on the rich side of town. He had gotten a text message - which he assumed was from Spot - telling him to come here.

“So he just showed up in your room while you were sleeping?” Elmer asked for the thousandth time.

“Yeah,” Albert said, looking at the numbers on the houses 501, 503, 505…. “I thought he was going to stab me or something.”

“And why are we going to his house again?”

509, 511, 513, yes. Albert turned into the driveway of a big white house with a nice porch and an old Land Rover and a black Harley in the driveway. “Cause he apparently wants details about last night since he’s convinced I did something to make Race leave.”

“Then why are you bringing me?” Elmer asked, following Albert onto the porch. “I don’t want to die.”

“Because your my best friend and you were there too dumbass, maybe you saw something happen that could save my ass.” Albert rang the bell and waited.

Exactly 5 seconds later the door was flung open by none other than Spot himself. He gave Albert and Elmer a small nod before gesturing that they should come in. The three of them said nothing as Spot led them up two flights of stairs to an attic loft that was clearly his room.

“Well well well. Look what the cat dragged in.” On the bed in the far corner, Romeo, Spot and Races other friend, was sprawled haphazardly, throwing a ball in the air and catching it over and over.

“Ro, please be nice,” Spot said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “We want them to help us, not scare them.”

Romeo ignored him. “I thought you said there would only be one of them.”

“Elmer’s here for protection and moral support,” Albert said quickly. “Plus he was there last night too.”

“I know he was there,” Spot said with a sickenly sweet smile. “And we don’t hurt people unless we have a reason to.”

Albert shivered and next to him Elmer looked scared.

“Now you’re scaring them,” Romeo sighed, sitting up on the bed. “Look, we just want to find Race. And we think you might be able to help us. So, we’re all going to piece together what happened last night and see if we can come up with anything, okay?”

Albert nodded, still slightly skeptical of the whole ordeal as he and Elmer took seats on the floor.

“Great,” Romeo clapped his hands together. “Spot you start.”

“Why me?” Spot groaned.

“Because we have to kinda give them a backstory so that the whole thing makes sense, otherwise they may leave out important details. Plus you’re a better storyteller than me.” He said the last part very fast.

“Fine. But no questions until the end.” Spot sighed. “So yesterday after school Race and Romeo come over…..”

•••

“Antonio. For the last time, you are not coming to the party and that is final,” Spot said, rummaging around on the top of his dresser for his hair gel.

“Why noooot,” Race whined, flopping backwards onto Spots bed.

“Cause you don’t have a very good track record with any place that involves people that you don’t know and alcohol,” Romeo supplied from where he was staring at his reflection in the mirror on the back of Spots door. “Heyyyy, I was using that!” Romeo complained as Spot pushed him out of the way so he could style his hair.

“Well first of all,” Race reasoned, “this is a high school party, and I’m a jock, I’m going to know everyone there. Second, I don’t drink anymore and you know that. And finally, I’m a senior, this is my last year to have fun please please pleeeeeaseeee.”

“Yes, of course I know you don’t drink,” Spot rolled his eyes. He had been there when Race had sworn off alcohol, he even had a signed piece of paper somewhere saying he would never drink again, at least until he was legal. “But, parties and drunk people and you don’t seem to mix well. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.”

“Spoooooooot,” Race drawled. “I haven’t sold myself in a whole 9 months. And even if I did do that still, I wouldn’t be interested in doing it with someone I go to school with. I don’t need word of that getting around.”

Romeo looked over at Spot from where he was sprawled in Spots beanbag, scrolling through Instagram. “Just let him go, Spot. The two of us will be there. And it’s just a house party, not a club. What could possibly go wrong?”

Spot sighed. Romeo had a point. Race had been much better recently. Maybe he was ready. “Fine,” Spot agreed and Race jumped up, high fiving Romeo. “But no drinking, okay?”

“Okay,” Race agreed. “Thanks Spot!”

•••“Wait,” Albert said after Spot had finished. “What do you mean Race hasn’t sold himself in 9 months? What are you talking about?”

Spot and Romeo shared a look. The two seemed to have a silent conversation for several long moments before turning back to Elmer and Albert.

“This doesn’t leave this room,” Spot said and Albert and Elmer nodded. Spot took a deep breath. “Races mom left when he was around 13,” he began slowly. “And his dad didn’t make enough money for the two of them. So he told Race to get a job. Problem was, no one wanted to hire a 13 year old. So…..he sold himself to people. Mostly it was older men, women, anyone who wanted a play toy for a night. And he used that money to help his dad pay the bills. He doesn’t do it anymore, he got a job at the automotive shop with me when we were sophomores and stopped selling himself a few months later after his dad got a steady job.”

Albert was speechless. Beside him, Elmer spoke up. “So, Race was a prostitute?” he confirmed.

“Yeah, I guess,” Romeo said. “He never liked it when people called it that though.”

“That’s why you didn’t want him to go to the party,” Albert said. “You didn’t want him to return to his old habits.”

Spot and Romeo nodded.

Everyone was silent for a moment before Romeo spoke up. “Well, Dasilva,” he said. “It’s your turn. Tell us about the party.”

“Well, it started like any party….”

•••

By the time Albert and Elmer got to the party, it was already in full swing.

“Remind me why we’re here again?” Elmer shouted into his ear above the music.

“First party of senior year,” Albert shouted back. “We always go to the first party of the year.”

Elmer sighed dramatically, adjusting his white beanie. “Well, if we're gonna stick around here, I’m going to get a drink, want anything?”

“Yeah sure,” Albert said, pulling out his phone. Jordan had texted him three times. He cleared them without reading what they said.

A few minutes later, Elmer walked back over, handing him a red solo cup. Albert took a grateful sip.

“Did you see who just walked in?” Elmer asked, bumping his shoulder.

“No, who?” Albert asked, craning his neck to see around the swarms of teenagers.

“Spot, Romeo and Race,” Elmer said. “Doesn’t Race usually not come to these things?”

“Why would I know that?” Albert asked. “I don’t stalk him.”

“Yeah well, you’ve dragged me to enough of these things, and you totally have a crush on him.” Elmer took a sip of his drink. “And I just don’t ever remember seeing Race here. His friends, yes, but Race, no. And I know you’re interested. Why don’t you talk to him?”

“Shhh,” Albert punched him in the arm. “Here they come.”

The two of them moved out of the way as Spot, Race and Romeo walked by, in full Mean Girls plastic formation, Spot at the point and Ro-

•••

“Full plastic formation?” Spot shrieked unbelievably. “Do you just compare us to a teenage romance movie?”

“Well….yeah…..”  Albert mumbled.

“Never do that again,” Spot warned.

“What?” Romeo called from the bed. “I liked it.”

Spot shot him a look. “Just, skip to the part where you actually talked to Race, okay? And no more teen girl movie references.”

“Okay,” Albert opened his mouth to continue but was cut off by Romeo.

“Wait,” he said. “Who’s Jordan?”

Albert sighed and Elmer looked at the floor. “Jordan is my boyfriend,” he mumbled.

“YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND YOU HOOKED UP WITH MY BEST FRIEND?!” Spot yelled, banging his head on his dresser.

“I'M ABOUT TO BREAK UP WITH HIM!” Albert yelled back. “It’s not an excuse, but it’s long distance and it isn’t working, and I’m doing it tomorrow when he’s coming down, so….”

In a flash Spot was pulling Albert up by his collar and breathing in his face. “Tell me the truth, did Race know about Jordan.”

“I-I don’t think so,” Albert stuttered. The only thing he could focus on right now was the fact that Spot definitely had a switch in his pocket and could use it on him.

“Not thinking so and knowing so are two different things,” Spot hissed. “Now tell me, did he know.”

Albert thought back. He and Race had only been together for an hour and a half at tops and it had all happened so fast. There was a chance that Jordan had texted him and Race could have seen it, wait-

“Yeah, yeah he knew,” Albert said. “He saw a message from him on my phone.”

Spot didn’t let go of his collar. “What. Did. It. Say.” He demanded.

“I don’t remember,” Albert admitted. “Something like ‘cant wait to see you this weekend, baby.’ But it means nothing, I’m breaking up with him tomorrow, I swear.” Albert pleaded.

“Yeah,” Spot said, dropping Albert’s collar. “I believe you, but Race didn’t know that did he?”

“No,” Albert whispered, “he didn’t.”

Spot sighed. “Alright, so we neglected to mention the fact that not only was Race a prostitute, but the relationships he has had ended badly. Cheating, abuse, all that good stuff. So, that text he saw, out of context, didn’t help you. He doesn’t usually drabble in stuff like this,” he gestured to Albert, “at least, not seriously. That’s why he always is with new people every few days. He thinks if people are with him for only a short amount of time, he won’t get hurt.”

Albert hung his head. “Well if that’s true, then this is just the beginning…..”

•••

About an hour later, Albert bumped into Race on his way into the kitchen.

“Ooo, careful there, sweetheart,” Race smirked, placing a steadying hand on Albert’s shoulder. “Can’t have you wasted before midnight.”

Albert’s shoulder tingled where Races hand had been and he found himself staring into his deep blue eyes.

Albert laughed half heartedly. “I’m not wasted,” he corrected. “Just clumsy.”

“Ah, I see,” Race winked. “You're Albert Dasilva right? I think we have English together.”

“Yeah.” He currently had a C in English right now because all he did was stare at Race. “And you’re Racetrack Higgins, star of the football team and professional player.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m a professional player,” Race said, reaching up to fix his black beanie. “I just get around, ya know? Just date everyone until you find the right person, right? That’s my motto anyway.”

“Makes sense,” Albert agreed. It didn’t actually make sense, but he just wanted to agree with Race.  

“You know,” Race said, casually leaning against the wall behind him, his solo full solo cup dangling expertly from his fingers as he held it just under the rim. “I really like you, Dasilva. You seem like a cool guy, and you’re not too bad on the eyes either.”

“I don’t look nearly as amazing as you do,” Albert said before he could stop himself, taking in Races blue quilted vans, gray purposefully too short joggers, plain white T-shirt, camo jacket and dog tag necklace. The tips of his blonde curls were also peeking out from the brim of his beanie which Albert found very very attractive.

“Nah, this?” Race gestured to himself, “this is all show. Everyone expects me to be this massive ice queen or something, but it’s all fake.”

Albert didn’t quite understand what Race meant, but he chose to ignore it. “Do you want to go dance?”

“Dance?” Race waves him off. “I can show you a much better time than just dancing, pretty boy.”

•••

“Alright, I’m going to stop you right there. I don’t need details of your hookup with my best friend thank you very much,” Spot said as he paced back and forth in front of his bed. “As long as it was just a hookup and you didn’t pay him.”

“I didn’t pay him,” Albert promised.

“Wait,” Romeo said, rolling over to look at Albert. “Are you cute English class boy?”

“Huh?” Albert asked confusedly.

“Fuck, I think you’re right,” Spot said.

Elmer turned to Albert. “What are they talking about?” He whispered.

“Beats me,” Albert shrugged. Then, louder to Spot and Romeo, “Care to explain?”

“Well, after the first day of school, Race comes running up to us at the end of the day screaming about this cute guy in his English class. He never told us who it was, but it must be someone good considering how much he talks about them. And, since he mentioned English class to you, I’m assuming cute English boy is you.” Romeo said. He was about to continue but was cut off by the doorbell. He jumped up off the bed. “Ooo! That’s my food!” He said, running out the door.

Spot out his face in his hands. “Ro, how can you think of food at a time like this?”

“Maybe because it’s lunchtime?” Romeo called as he ran down the stairs.

Spot shook his head. “Anyway, yes you are definitely cute English boy.”

Albert felt his heart rate pick up, Race liked him? Really?

“But why does that matter?” Elmer asked.

“Because,” Spot explained. “Race doesn’t ever get crushes on people. He just dates people for the hell of it, makes out with them in his truck once or twice, and dumps them. He doesn’t want to get left behind like his dad was, so he always does the breaking up.”

“So,” Romeo said, coming back through the door with a plastic bag of take out cartons, “the fact that he not only basically told you his entire life is an act, but also hooked up with you is very very significant.” He plopped back on Spots bed and began to open his takeout, the smell of Chinese food filling the room.

“Ro, what the hell are you eating?” Spot asked incredulously.

“Sesame noodles,” Romeo said, using his chopsticks to shovel some into his mouth. “Want some?”

Spot pinched his nose, as he tried not to scream. “No, thanks.”

“Good,” Romeo reached into the bag again and pulled out another container. “Cause I got you fries. With, like, 15 packets of ketchup.”

Spot considered for a moment. “You know, now that you mention it, I am kinda hungry.” He crosses the room, accepting the fries.

Romeo turned to Albert and Elmer. “I got some pie also, you guys can have it if you want.”

“Actually, yeah, pie sounds great,” Albert said, accepting the container and digging in with Elmer.

After a few seconds, Elmer spoke up. “See, what I don’t get is, why is it unusual for Race to hook up with someone? Aren’t you guys, I don’t know, like…”

“Fuck boys?” Spot finished for him and Elmer nodded. “Well, Race was a prostitute, remember? Any kind of sex has bad memories attached to it, so if he and Albert did anything, he must have really liked him.”

“He did seem kinda hesitant,” Albert recalled. “But as soon as we got into it, I could tell he definitely had some experience.” He paused, taking another bite of his pie. “He did keep his shirt on though.”

“To hide his scars,” Romeo said, twirling a noodle around his chopsticks. “They’re mostly abuse, some self harm, he thinks they’re ugly.”

Albert’s stomach clenched. He couldn’t believe that someone who seemed as perfect and carefree as Race had such a tragic past.

“Alright,” Spot said, chomping on a fry. “Who saw Race next after the hookup?”

“Me,” Romeo said. “He came up to me in the kitchen, he seemed really happy…..”

•••

Romeo was sipping his third beer when Race barreled into him in the kitchen.

“Rooooooo!” Race yelled, attacking his best friend in a hug and sloshing his beer on the floor in the process.

“Hey Racer,” Romeo laughed. “Having fun?”

“Ooooh yeah,” Race smirked. His beanie was no longer on his head and his blonde hair was a mess, but he didn’t seem the least bit bothered by it. “Thanks for convincing Spottie to let me come.”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem,” Romeo said. He was beginning to realize that Race was not remotely acting like himself. “Are you okay, bro?”

“I’m fantastic,” Race said. “Best I’ve ever been,ever.”

“If you say so.” Romeo took a sip of his drink. “So, where’s the person you’ve been hanging out with?”

“What makes you think I’ve been with someone?” Race asked.

“Well, the only other explanation for your behavior is that you’re drunk, and I know you swore off alcohol years ago, so….” Romeo trailed off, looking at Race expectantly.

“Yeah, yeah, there is a guy,” Race mumbled. His cheeks flushed and his blue eyes sparkled. “He has to step out for a second.” He looked at his friend. “I- I really like him Ro.”

“That’s great!” Romeo exclaimed. “Who is-”

“Oh there he is!” Race cut him off, pointing toward a throng of people. Romeo squinted, fairly certain the guy he was pointing to in the blue sweatshirt was a usual at the skatepark. “I’ll catch you later, Ro!”

Romeo shook his head and went back to his drink, if Race had found someone, he was happy for him.

•••

“So here’s what I don’t understand,” Spot said. “How did Race go from being happy go lucky, to skipping town in a matter of hours?” He glared at Albert. “What did you do to him?”

Albert shook his head. After hearing about Race’s past there was no way he could even bring himself to tell Spot and Romeo what had happened. There was no way. They would kill him. Or he would break down crying.

“I’ll finish it,” Elmer said, placing his hand on Albert’s shoulder. “I saw the whole thing happen.”

Albert mouthed a “thank you” to his best friend.

“Alright,” Spot said. “Don’t leave anything out.”

Elmer nodded and opened his mouth. “So Albert came back inside after he got off the phone…”

•••

“Hey Al,” Elmer said as his friend came back inside. “Who was that on the phone?”

“My boss,” Albert groaned. “He needs me to cover someone’s shift Monday.”

“Hm, that sucks.”

Then, a boy, Finch, Elmer thought, ran up to Albert.

“Yo! Al!” He said loudly, clearly drunk. “How’ve you been bro?”

“Pretty good I- mmmph” Albert was cut off by Finch's lips connecting with his aggressively. Albert flailed around for a second before giving up and kissing him back.

Elmer shook his head. Albert really didn’t have any impulse control. He politely looked the other way and caught sight of Racetrack Higgins standing about 5 feet away, looking like he’d been hit by a truck. Vaguely, he wondered if that was who Albert had been spending time with that night. It would explain the strange encounters he had had with Spot and Romeo that night.

Albert seemed to notice Race standing nearby because he shoved Finch off and approached him.

“Hey,” Albert said, reaching out to touch Races shoulder, but he sidestepped to avoid his hand. “Ready for part two?”

Elmer stared at the two of them in disbelief. Had they hooked up already? They had barely been at the party for an hour and a half.

“You know,” Race said. “People forget I’m human. They see all this,” he gestured to himself, “and don’t see that it's self defense. You could have set me free, maybe.”

Elmer cocked his head as he listened to the conversation. What Race was saying didn’t make any sense.

“Huh?” Albert said. “Let’s get out of here, okay?”

Elmer saw Race hesitate. Then Albert’s phone, which was still in his hand from the phone call lit up with a text message. The only person who could possibly be texting him right now was Jordan. For the sake of everyone involved, Elmer hoped that Albert had already broken up with him.

Races hand reached out for Albert’s phone. “What- are you-” he began, but was cut off by Albert slapping his hand away. It must have been hard because Elmer could hear the crack of skin on skin over the music.

“Don’t touch my stuff,” Albert hissed and Race took a step back, holding his hand to his chest.

“You were just a drunk mistake,” he spat. Then, quieter, to himself, “Spot was right.” Then he turned on his heel and calmly walked out of the room.

Albert walked over the Elmer. “What was that all about?” he asked.

“I guess he doesn’t want a round two,” Albert said simply.

“But hey!” Elmer said, slapping Albert on the back. “At least you got a round 1! Good job, bro!”

Albert smiled. “Yeah you’re right. I’ll talk to him on Monday. Maybe even get his number. But right now,” he grabbed Elmer’s arm. “I need another drink.”

•••

Albert lifted his head as Elmer finished. Of course, now he understood why what he had done was wrong. Heck, he’d probably scarred Race for life.

“He called me a drunk mistake,” Albert mumbled quietly. “But he didn’t even drink anything all night.”

There was silence for several long minutes.

“Wow,” Spot said finally in a voice that was eerily calm. “You really fucked up.”

“You don’t think I don’t know that?” Albert yelled. “I didn’t know he’d been cheated on, or abused! If I had I wouldn’t have done any of that!”

“YOU LITERALLY KISSED ANOTHER GUY RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!” Spot yelled.

“I KNOW!” Albert yelled back. “BUT WE HAD ONLY HOOKED UP! WE WEREN'T EVEN DATING I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BOTHER HIM!”

“BUT YOU ALSO HAVE A BOYFRIEND!” Spot added. “YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, YOU HOOKED UP WITH RACE, AND YOU KISSED SOMEONE ELSE!”

“Spot please,” Romeo said, standing up and putting his hands on Spots shoulders. “It happened, there’s nothing you can do about it now.”

“You- you hit him,” Spot choked out, all of his anger evaporating. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes. “Do you know how long it look for him to recover from the last time someone hit him accidentally?” He paused and Albert shook his head. “Months,” he said. “He wouldn’t even let us touch him. He’s been through so much. And now he’s gone. He could be anywhere by now. He could even be dead. All because of you.”

Spot crossed the room and knelt down I from of Albert’s face, his teary brown eyes glaring into Albert’s soul. “I will find him. And when I do, you will apologize for what you did. And then you are not allowed to talk to him ever again.” He stood up and gestured for Albert and Elmer to leave.

“I hope you’re happy!” Spot called as Albert and Elmer walked out the door. “I hope that sex he gave you was worth all this.”

____________________

oooooof what did i just create

see kiddos this is why wou should fear the Ralbert Angst Duo™️ when we are together, nothing is illegal

there will be fluff after this to make up for all the pain this may have caused

wow i really hope i wrote this right

fizz i hope you’re happy about this

feedback is always appreciated hmu via ask to to be on the tag list

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