#edser living together

[lizacstuff]

Eda Bolat. It sounds very nice.

                            - Serkan Bolat

[onceuponablob]

The judge has decided we have to live together in the same house with Kiraz.

— Sen Çal Kapımı, Episode 44

[djemsostylist]

I'd say I'm shocked, devastated, or even disappointed, but I guess at this point, I'm not?

In a weird way, I think I'm relieved? The characters I knew and loved are gone, and they certainly aren't coming back. That's been made crystal clear. The magic, the story, the meaning--it's gone. If we're lucky they'll bring back Ayşe for a series finale I fear will never come, but until then--I'm free.

What happened in last night's episode was not my Eda, not my Serkan, not my Edser. Full disclosure, I did not watch the episode myself, only the Edser clips. That being said, a few points:

Everything about their reunion was--flat. Look, Eda and Serkan have long been established as a couple that can't stay away from each other. The longest stretch of time was in 20, and they were both miserable. When they are finally together, they can't stop touching, smiling, kissing, just looking at each other. And now they've both been through absolute hell, and Eda's first response is to ask him to recreate the Dirty Dancing scene? Seriously? The man you love more than life itself, who you love and want to be with so much you planned a wedding in three days because you couldn't stand to be apart, is back from the dead and memory loss, and you are like "let's do a run/jump/catch thing?" Since when has Edser EVER been performative like that? My Serkan and Eda would be in tears, sobbing, clutching each other, refusing to let go. Please, someone go watch 27/28. The few times they had to separate, Serkan acted like someone was asking him to cut off his arm. Eda spent 80% of episode 28 superglued to his side. And yet their reunion is a cringy jump lift, dancing in his apartment, and then...spending the night on the sofa? Um, what? My Eda would have spent the night koala clinging to his chest, but okay, sure.

Many (most) of their scenes were cringy af. Look, this is a dizi, I except cheese. But there is cheese and sappiness, and then there is cringe. I couldn't bring myself to watch the tango, but everything about their interactions felt weird, stilted, and sort of...I dunno, perfunctory? They snipe and argue about Deniz and Selin, their touches seem performative (either for us or the other characters)--I didn't feel the relief and joy and love at two people finally coming together after pain and heartache. I just didn't.

Serkan was a complete and total dick. He downplayed what Eda went through, seemed more annoyed at her for what happened than anything, and seemed to think a "sorry babe" was enough to make for up through the hell he put her through. Turns out, the Asshole of the past 7 episodes isn't amnesia Serkan--it's just literally Serkan now I guess. Telling her to just deal with Selin staying on, getting irritated with her over Deniz, telling her to "calm down." Um, where is my Serkan who told BA she could arrest him, throw him in jail, take his company but he didn't care as long as he had Eda? Where is the Serkan who was worried and concerned over the Prince acting vaguely sketchy towards Eda (even before the kidnapping that wasn't?)? Where is the Serkan who sobbed when he found out about the part his father played in her parent's death, who knew she was too good for him, who would rather set himself on fire then do anything to hurt her? Where is the Serkan who promised to use the last breath in his lungs to make her happy? Where is the man who told Selin she was nothing to him and to never speak to him or Eda ever again, who left his own father because he hurt Eda? Where is the man who barely acknowledged Selin's presence again after she hurt the woman he loved? My Serkan would have torn Istanbul apart with his bare hands to find Deniz and make him pay for manipulating and hurting Eda. He would have destroyed Selin--not for hurting him, but for hurting Eda. Where is the man who said "fuck work" and turned off his phone because spending time with the woman he loved was more important? Eda is married and he decides to just...go into work? Not my Serkan. He's not. This condescending, rude, passive, uninterested man is not the man Eda fell in love with. He's a shell of the man he was, and I hate him.

And Eda. Where is the girl who said she would never let herself be humiliated? Who never let ANYONE pull anything over on her? Who saw straight through people's lies and deceit and didn't let them try to come between her and Serkan? Where is the girl who didn't let people fight her battles for her, but fought them herself? Where is the girl who said "enough?" Where is the girl who knew who she wanted and what she wanted and was willing to fight the entire world to get it? My Eda would have fought side by side with Serkan to find Deniz and make him pay for what he has had done. My Eda would have smacked the condescension right off Serkan's face and would have laid bare all the pain he put her through. My Eda would have laughed in Selin's face about the baby trick and gone straight to Serkan with the lie. My Eda would have seen that her Serkan was gone and dead, and she would have cried and mourned, and then she would have wiped her tears, stood up, and said "No more." We've seen her do it. We've SEEN it. Episode 15 Eda would look at episode 36 Eda and be like "what the actual fuck?"

These are not my characters. This is not the story that was being told. It's not. So for me, their story ended in 28. Serkan got downstairs, sat in his car, said "wtf am I doing?" called Italy and said "sorry, but we are going to have to pass on this deal" gone straight back upstairs, and married the girl he loved. And then they went to Italy and France and England and came back and ran their company side by side and lived in the doctor house and raised their twins and lived a beautiful life.

In conclusion, I truly think I'm done. I'll stick catch news bc I am a masochist and also bc I love and adore Hande and Kerem, but as far as watching, I'm out.

[snowgloberoundandround]

Alright hand over the theories. Do we think the judge actually ruled that Edser have to live together, or do we think they worked it out themselves after everyone left and just used the judge as an excuse so their families would quit interfering? Because - not that this show always follows the route of logic - but the judge can’t force two unmarried people to live together. Furthermore, their smiles at the end say they’re clearly pleased with the arrangement, and I can’t see Eda specifically being so happy if someone else told her she must live with Serkan before she herself made that decision (even though she clearly wants to, we all know Eda does what Eda wants when Eda wants)

[originalhybridloverfics]

Bodyguard CH10

A/N: No, your eyes do not deceive you. This is in fact a new chapter. I'm sorry about not updating in what feels like 87 years. I found my way down the Edser rabbit hole and can't find my way back out. I hope you like this chapter.

Felicity looked up as she heard voices and saw Oliver and Digg talking in front of her door.

Her chest tightened at the sight of Oliver.

Over the past few days, she had tried distancing herself from Oliver once she realized her feelings for him were anything but platonic or professional and were growing stronger by the day.

However, it was harder to do than she anticipated. Especially when she was living with him, temporarily, and spent all her time with him.

Still, she did her best to create a distance between them. She made sure whenever they were at the shelter that they were never alone, and when they were at his place, she was careful to not spend any time with him with just the two of them that wasn’t necessary.

She refused group dinners and drinks, she ate breakfast on the go and she kept their talks short and strictly business.

Oliver was persistent of course but she more than held her ground and stuck to her conviction of shutting him out as much as possible.

She knew Oliver didn’t understand why she was pushing him away but she had to do whatever it took to protect herself and right now every survival instinct was telling her she needed to protect every part of herself especially her heart.

Fear was a monster. It was ugly and it was consuming. It crept beneath your skin, shook you to your core, and made you question everything, every decision you make, everyone around you.

It whispered doubts in your head.

Felicity feared the connection between Oliver and herself. It felt stronger every single day he was at her side.

It terrified her.

She was scared that the connection between them would grow strong enough for him to completely break her and she couldn’t shatter again.

It took her forever to pick up the pieces of herself that Cooper had broken.

And even then she was never able to fit her pieces back together perfectly.

Felicity, she was Fractured. Scarred. Damaged.

Oliver deserved better than what she could offer him.

He just hasn’t realized it yet but he will. She was saving them from pain in the long run.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver clenched and unclenched his fist repeatedly, looking toward the door impatiently, sitting on a hospital bed.

He had spent half the day trying and failing to figure out why Felicity was suddenly shutting him out and the other half in the gym, training while John took over being Felicity’s full-time guard. Pair her orders.

Had he offended her in some way? Did his concern for her come across as too overbearing?

God, it bothered him that she was pulling away from him. It was like a sledgehammer was slammed into his chest and the feeling wouldn’t go away.

It was awkward as hell when they returned to his home. Felicity barely spoke a full sentence to him or stayed in a room alone with him for more than five minutes.

If he didn’t know better he would think she was afraid of him but that was crazy.

He would never hurt her. She had to know that, right?

His thoughts were going to drive him crazy.

The door to the room opened and in walked Tommy Merlyn. “When I saw your name in my folder, I thought I was seeing things. You hate hospitals.” Tommy looked his friend over. “You don’t look like you require emergency medical treatment.”

Oliver lifted his hands. “They might be broken.”

Oliver fought to keep a straight face. He knew his hands weren’t broken but he wanted an excuse to come to see his friend when he knew Tommy was busy working in the emergency room in the hospital.

Tommy sent him a doubtful look, setting his clipboard down, he pulled on a pair of gloves and reached for Oliver’s hands inspecting them.

“You have some abrasions, and your hands are pretty banged up but they’re not broken.” Tommy started cleaning the blood from his knuckles and applying a healing and disinfectant ointment. “You want to tell me what you’re really doing here?”

“I needed to talk to someone. I need an outsider’s perspective.” Oliver told him.

“And this couldn’t wait till my shift ended?” Tommy inquired, wrapping Oliver’s hands up.

“It could have but I can’t promise I wouldn’t have gone at least a little bit insane from not talking to someone,” Oliver responded.

“Okay,” Tommy laughed. “If you’re that desperate to talk to someone I can spare a little time. What’s on your mind, Ollie?”

“I’ve been working this new job.” Oliver started.

“The bodyguard job for some client or another.” Tommy supplied.

“Right, “ said Oliver. “Anyway, I met this woman and she’s amazing, she’s beautiful, kind, smart and her strength astounds me and it’s complicated, cause she’s the client,”

“Wait, you’re sleeping with your boss?” Tommy said surprised. Oliver had always taken his job seriously and didn’t like to mix his personal life with his business life.

“No, it’s not like that.” Oliver protested. “We’ve never-”

“But you want to?” Tommy interjected.

Of course, Oliver wanted to. He had to be blind and idiot not to but what he felt for Felicity was more than an attraction. He had feelings for her.

And it was so real for him. Maybe the realist thing he’s ever felt for a woman.

The problem was he didn’t know how Felicity felt about him. He knew she was attracted to him but was that all it was for her? He hoped not.

“I like her a lot.” Oliver finally answered.

“If you don’t care that’s she your boss then what’s the problem?” Tommy inquired.

“I think...I think she might be afraid of me.” Oliver hated having to say the words. He hated thinking it but lately, he felt like Felicity was shutting him out to protect herself. From him.

The notion was a jagged blade twisting in his chest, carving him from the inside. ‘

“Afraid of you?” Tommy repeated incredulously. “You would never hurt a woman.”

“I know that but I’m not sure she does,” Oliver confessed. “She’s been hurt before her.”

“Oh,” Tommy said.

“Oh?” Oliver repeated. “Why do you say it like that?”

“Like there’s more meaning behind that one little word.” Oliver insisted.

“When you say hurt, do you mean physically or emotionally?” Tommy questioned.

“Both,” Oliver said after a moment.

“Then I can see why she’s not open to growing closer with you.” At Oliver’s continued look of confusion, Tommy elaborated. “Women with a history of an abusive relationship have a harder time letting any man close again because the last time they did they didn’t just have their heart broken. In most cases, the woman was hurt, emotionally, physically, and mentally. The physical wounds? Those heal if they’re lucky enough to get out but what stays with them the most are the mental wounds.”

“How do you know so much about this?” Oliver questioned in surprise.

“I’ve seen more than a few women come in here after being tossed around by someone they love since working in the ER for the last two years,” Tommy said. “Your girl, Felicity, if she’s purposely creating a distance between you, pushing you away then it is more than like self-preservation on her part. She’s doing whatever she can to protect herself and being alone is probably the only way she knows how to protect her heart.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Oliver asked.

“First, it’s important, you don’t push her,” Tommy advised. “Second, have a frank discussion about your feelings but you have to take her feelings into account, too. Tell her what’s on your mind, find out if she’s scared of you or of getting hurt, try and reassure as much as you can that you would never push her and finally, let her make the first move.”

Oliver nodded. “Okay,” Oliver grabbed up his coat, pulling it on. “Tommy, do you still get women coming in here recently who have been abused.”

“All the time,” Tommy admitted sadly.

Oliver pulled out his wallet and pulled out the business card for the shelter. “Give this to any of the abused women that come in here. It’s a place that can help them. They’ll be protected. Give them a chance at something better.”

Tommy accepted the card. “Do I want to know?”

Oliver patted his friend on the chest. “Thanks for the advice, Tommy.”

“Anytime, now get out of here. I have real emergencies to tend to.” Tommy walked out of the room, calling over his shoulder that a nurse would be in shortly with his discharge papers.

Oliver decided he wasn’t going to wait around for that and walked on out. He had a strategy forming in his mind, now he needed to get a plan together and make it happen.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Felicity was surprised when Oliver called asking for the rest of the night off but she allowed calling in one of the recruits to fill in for him.

She wasn’t sure what he was doing but it wasn’t her business what he did with his free time or what he considered important to take time off work for. It didn’t stop her from being curious about it, though.

She didn’t even know if he would be home when Digg drove her back to the apartment at the end of the day.

She said goodnight to Digg who walked her to Oliver’s door and didn’t leave till Felicity was safely inside using the key Oliver had given her.

Felicity shut the door and locked it behind her. Oliver didn’t have one of those state of art security systems which she knew because he believed he was his own security system. Who better to defend his home than himself.

“Oliver?” Felicity called out, walking into his living room. She tossed her bag on the couch took off her coat, throwing it over the back of the couch. She held onto the back as she toed off her shoes.

The smell of food filled the apartment, a delicious aroma that made her stomach grumble with hunger.

“In the kitchen,” Oliver called out.

Felicity walked into the kitchen to find the counter, set nicely for dinner as Oliver set a pan he pulled from the oven in the center, followed by a pan of bread.

“Did you make us dinner?” Felicity asked in surprise.

“I did,” Oliver smiled at her. “And I got you this,” Oliver turned and pulled out a bottle of wine from a container of ice. “Red is your favorite, right?”

“It is.” Felicity felt a flutter in her stomach, a light feeling spreading across her chest. “You didn’t have to do all this for me.”

“I wanted to,” Oliver said, voice soft. “Sit please, everything is almost done.”

Felicity took the seat and watch him move around the kitchen a quiet smile on her lips, momentarily forgetting that she was doing her best to avoid him.

Sometimes the pull to him was just too strong to resist. Like right now.

He was always so at home in the kitchen. There was always this weight he carried on his shoulders, this alertness about him like he was prepared to be attacked at any moment, it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing since it was his job to be ready to fend off an attack but it made Felicity want to pull him in her arms and tell him it was okay to let his guard down sometimes.

That need to assure him everything was fine always left a flash of fear behind. She shouldn’t feel this away about him.

Watching him now, it was like all of that weighed him down and kept alert fell away and she got to see Oliver the man and not Oliver Queen the bodyguard.

“How everything go today? Any new problems?” Oliver asked as he set the table with their filled plates.

“No new problems,” Felicity answered as he poured them some whine. “What did you do today?”

“Let off some steam, visited my friend Tommy, I believe I’ve mentioned him a few times.” Oliver took the seat across from her.

“You did,” Felicity confirmed, she lifted the glass of wine to her lips, tasting the liquid on her tongue, she hummed quietly to herself. “He’s a doctor right?”

Oliver nodded, taking a bite of the bread he made. “He is. Works in the ED.”

“This is the same Tommy from Thea’s stories?” Felicity asked. “Because I gotta say I was still expecting to be more of a wild card.”

“He’s both.” Oliver gave a small laugh. “He’s serious when he needs to be but he lets out that other side of himself after a few drinks but he’s a good man.”

“Much mike yourself,” Felicity said, taking a bite of her food.

Something warmed in Oliver’s chest that Felicity believed him to be a good man. That had to help his case in the larger scheme of things. He opens his mouth to reply but snapped it shut, listening as a sound of pleasure escape Felicity’s lips.

Her eyes were closed as if she was savoring the taste and there was a flush to her cheeks that wasn’t there before, her tongue darted to chase the taste on her lips.

He tightened his hand on his fork as desire shot through him, wanting to hear the sounds she was making, the look of pleasure on her face for a different reason, involving him, and absolutely zero clothing.

Felicity’s eyes fluttered open slow. “Wow, that is really good. I know I said before I really didn’t expect you to be such a good cook. It’s like dining at a five-star restaurant.”

Oliver laughed. He knew his cooking was good but it wasn’t that good. “You don’t have to flatter me, Felicity.”

“This is not flattery, it is fact,” Felicity argued, pointing her fork at him warning him. “Don’t knock what I say. If I say it's the best meal I had in years then it is.”

Oliver held his hands up in surrender, a carefree smile pulling at his lips. “Got it, it’s utterly delicious.”

“Exactly,” Felicity took another bite, her eyes closing as she savored the food.

Oliver wasn’t sure if he was turned on by her utter enjoyment or amused that she was so vehement that it was as good as she thought.

Oliver spent most of the meal just gazing at Felicity, enjoying just being in her presence. Felicity excluded this light and he felt it cut through his darkness.

Felicity offered to clear the table and do the clean-up. Oliver was quick to tell her she didn’t have to, he would take care of it but Felicity insisted in the end they compromised and ended up, doing it together.

“So, I was thinking that tomorrow I was going to go out and look for something bigger for everyone to move to, I figured I take you and Digg with me. I could use both of your expertise because we want somewhere that’s fortified, somewhere that’s big, something that can give them home and not feel like they're being locked away for their safety.”

“We can have Slade looked after everyone while we’re out.” Oliver agreed as they washed dishes. “I think I might have an idea about where we can look. I need to make some calls first.”

Felicity place the last dish in the cabinet and dried her hands. “Really? That’s great. The sooner we find somewhere the better.”

“I agree,” Oliver said. “Now that we have business out of way, I was hoping we could talk.”

“Talk about what?” Felicity's brow furrowed.

“I know things have gotten a bit tense between us,” Oliver began, turning toward Felicity, he took her hand in his and stepped closer. “I know you think I’m being over-protective but that’s not it, it’s more than that. This job isn’t a job for me. I want to protect you, I want to help people. it’s who I am.”

“I know,” Felicity nodded, looking up at his earnest blue eyes. “Who you are is why I feel like I can trust you and trust isn’t easy for me. I trust you more than I thought was possible.”

But still, there were things she would never trust in a man again. It wasn’t Oliver's fault. It is what it is.

Oliver copper her cheek and his warmth soaked into her skin, making her feel at home. “Do you trust that you mean more to me than a job?”

Felicity’s heart skipped a beat in her chest. “Oliver,” she whispered. She didn’t think he would address this thing between them so head-on.

Oliver fell to the look in her eyes, the way she said his name. Like a prayer.

He closed the distance between and pressed his mouth to Felicity’s. He felt her tense, her body freezing up and he cursed himself.

He shouldn’t have done that.

But then suddenly, he felt Felicity’s lips pressing back against his.

He pulled back to look into her eyes, see her reaction.

Her cheeks were flushed, eyes bright.

“Felicity,” he whispered, voice low.

Felicity surged forward grasping his face in her hands and pulled his mouth back to hers.

Oliver groaned, he wrapped his arms around, pulling her flush against his front.

She was so small in his arms but so perfect, he licked at the seam of her lips. His tongue sweeping inside when she opened for him, tasting her mouth as her hands fisted his shirt and smooth up his arms, gripping his biceps.

He secured his hand across her waist and lifted her, sitting her on the counter.

He tilted her head back deepening their kiss, pulling her hair free from her ponytail and running his hands through her long strands.

Felicity’s hand moved over his back, hiking her legs up to wrap around his waist, pushing him closer.

Her hands dove into his hair, beneath slipping beneath his shirt. He didn’t care that her fingers trail across his skin. All he could think about was her skin pressed against his, her hands exploring her body.

He slipped one hand beneath her shirt, her skin was soft as he slid up her ribs, and gripped her pulling her forward and grounding his hips against her, desiring shooting through him.

Felicity gave a gasp and then she was placing her hand on his chest and pushing him back. “Stop, we can’t do this.”

Her words like ice on his skin. He stopped immediately, removing his hands from her body. “Felicity, I-”

“We can’t do this,” Felicity repeated, she pushed at him again and he took a step back giving her the space she wanted.

Felicity jumped down from the counter and ran her hand through her hair. “This can’t happen, Oliver. It’s important that we keep this professional.”

Oliver could see the way her hand shook, and how she avoided looking at him. Everything inside of him was telling him that she was scared. Scared of feeling something for someone? Scared of feeling something real. Scard to give her heart to someone again.

“I don’t think I can do that. It’s hard to be professional when you want to be with someone.” Oliver said, wanting Felicity to know how he felt. “I feel like we’ve been skirting around the attraction between us and I’m tired of pretending that I don’t have feelings for you.”

Felicity shook her head. “Oliver, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Yes, I do. I know how I feel about you and no one can tell me what I feel. I think I know my own heart.”

“You don’t want me, Oliver,” Felicity felt tears gather in her eyes but she refused to cry. “I’m damaged. I won’t ever be good for you. You are amazing and can do so much better than someone who still has nightmares about a piece of shit ex.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that,” Oliver said vehemently. “You're the most amazing woman I have ever known. You're beautiful and smart and resilient and have a strength inside of you that I have never known, Any man in the world would be lucky to have you. I want to be that man.”

“No, you don’t.” Felicity shook her head and took a step away from him.

Oliver wanted to pull her closer but it was clear by the way she wrapped her arms around herself she didn’t want to be touch in any way and he was going to respect that.

“I get it you’re scared, you’ve been heart in ways I can’t imagine, you were betrayed by someone you loved and nothing I say will change that but you don’t have to be afraid of me. I would never hurt you. I would rather die than to ever see you hurt let alone be the cause of your pain. Please, don’t turn away from this because you're scared I’ll be like him. I could never be like him.”

Felicity’s heart clenched painfully. Oliver’s words while meant to be reassuring were the opposite. He was making very clear how deeply he cared for her and it only made this harder for her.

“I know you won’t hurt me.” Felicity's voice shook with the effort not to cry, to stay strong. “I know you’re not like Cooper but I can’t let you get close. I can’t care about you so much that I let you have power over me.”

If Cooper taught her anything it was love meant having power over someone and she couldn’t let that happen again no matter what she felt for Oliver.

“I can’t do it.” Felicity felt herself breaking inside and was becoming increasingly difficult to keep it together. “I won’t.”

Oliver shook his head. Love wasn’t having power over someone. It was giving yourself to someone, it was caring for someone, it was putting their wellbeing and happiness before your own. It was trusting them with all you have. Your heart, your body, your soul, everything that made you who you are.

“I don’t want to have power over you, Felicity,” Oliver said earnestly. He needed to be open with her but he also had to let her make the choice of what happened next. “I want to be your strength. I want to be the pillar that holds you up when you need some help. I want to be the person you turn to but more than anything I want to love you and I want you to let me.”

His words were so beautiful and God, Felicity wanted to let Oliver be all those things but she couldn’t. “I’m sorry but I can’t. I just can’t.” She could no longer keep her tears in as they slide down her cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

A/N: I hope you like the chapter. The next Olicity update will be I Can't Let Her Die.

Thank you to everyone still here, reading my fics even though I take forever to update.

Tags: @mariestark @memcjo

Sorry about the lack tags but I lost my tag list for this story and can't remember all who wanted to be tag for this. Feel free to remind me if you want to be tagged so I can create a new list accordingly.

[giulsherondale]

"Now she is so glad that we are fighting because we give her what she wants."

I loved how Serkan tried to calm down Eda when they meet Semiha. And he's so intelligent that he knows exactly that grandma is only waiting that Eda go mad and make mistakes. She enjoy seeing her angry and Serkan knows that. My smart baby boy.

"Serkan will be mine."

Balca make me laugh... Dear... Serkan will be your only in your dreams... Perhaps...

"Eda Bolat... Eda Bolat. See how beautiful you smile. This is what we must do in the office in front of your grandmother."

"Serkan..."

"I'm listening..."

"You make me angry."

"Great. That's exactly what I wanted. Therefore I asked to write so. So that you get a little angry, splash out the negative, fell on me and then calm down. But you're not as angry as I expected."

"Because before that, you had already done what I should have been more angry with."

"But still... It's nice to hear that right? Eda Bolat."

"Serkan are we going to talk about this now?"

"No. But face it, I know what I'm doing. Eda Bolat. Anyways... I think this should be our topic for discussion."

Honestly... How many times did Serkan said Eda Bolat? Too many... But... I'm not complaining... On the contrary I loved that. And Eda Bolat sounds actually really good.

"Your grandmother is now a partner of the company, came here and finally show her face, and she will take revenge on me for my father. She wants to bankrupt me, devide us and ruin my life. Right? She won't succeed, so calm down. She can't do that."

I'm not so sure about that but I love that Serkan is so determined and sicure about himself, and I think that he doesn't want to show his worries at Eda.

"She will do what she did to my parents Serkan. But I'm not strong as you."

In this exact moment Eda shoe us that she is only 23. I often forget this because she is so mature but she is actually so young.

"You are the one who destroyed my family."

Semiha broke the flower holder where Serkan has put Eda's flower. I'm so mad and broken. Maybe I read too much in this scene but I think that this is a metaphor to Edser love. So Semiha will destroy Eda and Serkan love.

Aydan and Ayfer are the duo that I didn't know I needed. They are so hilarious, love them.

"What is her problem?"

"The problem is of course me. She came because of me. She will heal my wounds, change, you see. It turns out that you blinded me... She said so."

"Serkan blinded you? She said that."

"Yes."

"So everyone can see that you are madly in love with me except you."

"If you scoff, then I'm leaving."

"Don't go."

"Serkan I'm taking about..."

"What are you talking about?"

"I thought... If I leave the company..."

"What?"

"If I move away from the company, she may change her mind."

"That's it... You quit?"

"I do not quit, but move away."

"I understand you very well."

"Then why are you looking at me like that? What?"

"In this life you can so easily give up on me, is that so?"

"I didn't say that. You misunderstood."

"Yes. Maybe I misunderstood you from the very beginning Eda..."

I felt so sorry for Serkan in this moment. Serkan has always fought for Eda and their love. And now he feels that she is abandoning him, and we know that everyone he loves, in his life abandoned him. My poor babe. Sorry but Eda this time you are sooo wrong.

"Try to understand me. Before you I was like a machine. I was a flesh and blood man who went to work. Then you came and touched my heart and a lot has changed for me. And then you abruptly removed your hand from my heart. I cannot be as automated now as I used to be. And without you I can't bear the burden on my heart. Eda... Let it be your grandmother or any other problem... If your hand is on my heart... Then I'm ready for anything."

THIS SCENE WAS HOTTT🔥

Serkan was so sad in this scene, because he thinks that when there will be a problem Eda will always run away from him. She is his air, he cannot live without her. And he wants to spend the new year night with her😍.

I think that everyone should listen to Leyla, if she doesn't trust Balca and Semiha there is a reason. I repeat we should all listen to Leyla.

Balca make me laugh pt. 2. She is completely crazy, she admits that she knows Serkan only for a few days and says to Semiha that she is not in love with him... But she is right because she is not in love... But now that I think about it she is right... Because she is not in love with him... She is completely obsessed with him. She is so cringe.

"Eda... Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine... Tonight I will have nightmares again."

"Nightmares? Why?"

"Because... When I was little my mother bought me a wishes bracelet."

"What is it?"

"On it there are figures, symbols, such as a star or a heart."

"Ah ok, got it."

"These are symbols of your desires. After my parents died, my grandmother came to pick me up, I told you. She wanted to take me to Mardin. At home she talked to my aunt, and I heard everything. I was very young but I remember. They were talking very loudly, I... I run away from home. I run away and began to run. I ran, I ran... There was a hill behind our house. I rolled head over heels from this hill... And when I fell... I broke my bracelet. Lost it. I cried, not because of my wounds, but because I had lost it. And then... In every nightmare I did, I did the same thing. I escaped from somewhere... I run, I run as if someone is following me. All the time I run away and I'm so scared to see the same thing."

"Come here. Come. The Eda Yildiz I know... Doesn't run from anything. So I'm sure you won't run away."

My poor baby Eda. She really has a tough life.

Honestly... The suits scene doesn't has any sense... But the chemistry was on fire🔥

"Serkan doesn't like to spend special days with everyone. Only with the loved ones."

That means not you Balca. So back off thank you.

Serkan face when he sees the throne😂

And obviously Serkan has a plans for grandma situation. I love my smart and calculating boy.

"One time, the most beautiful, the smartes and at the same time the woman who I liked the most told me that lemon reduces stress."

Loving and caring Serkan is the best.

"I'm not an easy target for you Mrs. Semiha. You will give your shares to Serkan and leave."

"So you decide when I have to leave Eda? The time I spend here depends on you."

"How does it depend on me?"

"Are you the lover of this Serkan Bolat?"

"No."

"You are interested in each other."

"We have a past. These are the connections of the past."

"There is nothing stronger than blood ties. In time you will understand this. You deserve better than Serkan Bolat."

"You know me very well. Bravo!"

"I'm trying to find out. I have great ideas for you."

"None of them interests me."

"Okay. I'll ask the questions differently. Are you interested in Serkan Bolat?"

"Let's say I'm interested. What will you do? What will happen?"

"Then I will not beat around the blush. If I notice that you have a relationship with Serkan Bolat I will destroy this holding. Neither his mom nor he himself can handle the failure of the firm. I will destroy their company, disgrace their name, reputation, everything. Overnight. If you don't believe me ask Alptekin Bolat. If he's able to answer you of course."

"Don't underestimate me. I'm not afraid of you Semiha Yildirim."

THAT'S MY GIRL🔥

"How do you understand that I'm interested in astrology? Are you too?"

"I'm interested in ASTRONOMY."

Serkan Bolat ended Balca.

"Eda come in."

"I won't Serkan. Grandmother moved in with us. She will drive me completely crazy. She is an unbalanced, very dangerous woman. Therefore do not be polite to her, just attack."

"Calm down."

"Grandma moved in with us. I'll stay with Ceren. I came to tell you something."

"Good. If you want we'll talk inside."

"No I won't come in. I'll tell you here."

"Okay. What do you want to say to me?"

"Serkan listen... We cannot be together. It doesn't work. We can't. I don't seem to able to. It's all the same, someday we will part. I'm bothering you. You are already tired. Grandma will tear us apart, she will do something."

"Eda..."

"What?"

"Stay here."

"What?"

"Stay here tonight."

"Serkan we cannot be together and you are saying 'stay here'?"

"Nothing will happen Eda. We won't spend the new year together so stay here tonight."

"Okay then. Last time..."

"Last time."

The cuteness of this scene, I was melting.

"We are going to look at the stars."

"I'm already looking at the most beautiful star."

Serkan bought chocolate for Eda. If that's not love I don know what it is. And obviously Balca has to interrupt the romantic moment.

"Eda? Are you okay?"

"Serkan? What are you doing here? It's not been 10 minutes yet."

"She lives close. Candles and all that... Are you comfortable?"

"I decided to take a bath."

"You did the right thing."

"If you leave, I'll come."

"Of course... Give me 10 seconds."

"Serkan... Can you hear me?"

"Okay... I'll remember this moment."

"Enjoy. Do not rush."

CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE... TOO CUTE💞

The whole bust scene made mi laugh, but someone can explain to me why Serkan did not for once looked at Eda? I don't understand.

Serkan brings her the breakfast to bed. My caring babe.

"Small steps towards a big goal."

Eda's gift to Serkan is so beautiful. She has this unique capacity to make every gift unique and original.

We don't deserve Leyla, she is too pure and angelic for us. She helped Ferit with Ceren's gift.

Engin has organized all the wedding with just the two of them. I love himmm.

Sorry but we have to take a moment to speak about Kerem speaking in Italian... I'm Italian so when I listened to him speaking in Italian I fainted. He's so sexy🔥

I'm an Ayfer and Alexander stan.

Even Serkan can't stand Balca anymore. She really is a snake, she's worst than Selin. What kind of crazy person are you?

"Serkan where are you?"

"In the place where I should be. Next to you."

"Where have you been?"

"You are so beautiful."

This scene was so beautiful. His gift was so meaningful. There's this thing that I've always noticed, he really listened and pay attention to what she say or do. He never do something by casualties, he's so carefully about her. This is one of the many thing that I love about Serkan. And obviously this beautiful and romantic moment is ruined by the arrival of the police... Arghh grandma what have you done?!

[acertainsomeone]

scintilla of love - EdSer Oneshot

Summer House

Their first time. It was memorable. It was special. It always will be.

Eda’s heart skipped a beat when Serkan called her to meet him at the summer house. She almost thought that he remembered everything but no. He didn’t sound like her Serkan. There was something odd with his voice but she could tell he wasn’t back.

Eda anticipated his reason to call her throughout her way from home to their summer house.

Did he know he gifted her the house right after their first time?

What if he called her to ask it back?

Serkan had been so rude and cruel that she could expect anything from him. She couldn’t understand how his behavior varied from time to time. One moment he would be reminding her of Old Serkan, the one she fell for. She would feel hope that maybe his memory is coming back. But the very next moment he would be uttering those words that pierced her soul like a poisonous dagger.

Was he cruel enough to take away all memories back?

But he returned the ring to her

He hugged Selin in front of you Eda, He said that she is his sunshine

But you were his fairy.

Not anymore.

STOP OVERTHINKING.

She tried to force herself that Serkan had called her for work but this sounded quite wrong, to call your business partner at a secluded place.

Anyhow, Eda reached the Summer House, bracing herself for what was yet to come.

*****

“Serkan!” Eda shrieked in panic. This isn’t what she expected. Of all the assumptions she made, this was not in her mind. He was sitting on the sofa, injured; his hands were bleeding and it seemed that he had hit himself on his head.

She rushed towards him and held his face in her hands.

His eyes.

Eda winced, what happened Serkan. What is this all about?”

He looked at her apologetically, he had been crying for sure. He never cried. The last time he cried was when his brother died but not after that.

Even Eda knew that it was rare for Serkan to shed a tear especially because he told her once that she filled his life with so much happiness that he could not bring himself to think about anything worse.

“Why are you sitting like this, why haven’t you put an ointment? Serkan I’m so done with you being so careless about everything. I thought you were the hypochondriac one here.” her outburst was rapid, and she was this close to having a panic attack. Ever since his plane accident, Eda became even more paranoid about his health .

Why wasn’t he saying something

“Hadi, get up, you must be in pain.”

“Not as much as you.” he whispered, almost inaudible. She looked at him disbelievingly. For sure, he hadn’t remembered anything yet because otherwise she would have known.

What was it then? What happened?

“Serkan, we will talk about this later on, tamam mi? Come on now, You’re bleeding for God’s sake.”

He held her fingers possessively, and Eda’s heart almost stopped beating. He was in pain. Something had happened and he had-

Did he

“SERKAN, did you hurt yourself on purpose, you-”

“Yok” He shook his head immediately. “I wasn’t in my senses while coming here and had a minor accident. Trust me, it wasn’t intentional.”

Eda tried to read his expressions. But all she could decipher was pain.

“Would you ever be able to forgive me?” “Not as someone whom you loved but just as a human?”

“Serkan what you’re scaring me please tell me what happened”

He sighed a long heavy breath.

“Selin was the first friend I ever had, even before Engin, Piril and Sirius. We were family friends, She was always around. When my brother died, the only person who ensured to remain in contact was Selin. She was my friend and a confidant. She knew me. And I always trust her. Just like we would trust someone we know since childhood. I would never doubt her. Never. Maybe, this is exactly why I decided to call her when I opened my eyes in hospital that day. It wasn’t my mother or my father because they were the ones who had abandoned me, once. It wasn’t Engin or any other friend because that moment in the hospital, I felt exactly like the day my parents had sent me to boarding school. I don’t know if I ever told you, but Selin was the only one who remained in contact with me when I was at my boarding school . She was the one who bothered to ask me how I was.-”

“Serkan,, why are you telling this” Eda whispered in concern.

She was not bothered by whatever he said, she knew most of it. She knew Selin had been an important part of his life.

She knew he had never loved her but she was a significant person who once helped him escape his traumas. Eda wanted him to stop because it was painful for him to revive those memories. She knew he always disliked talking about those days spent right after his brother’s death, in that school, away from his parents.

“Hear me out Eda, you need to know. I don’t know why but you should know that the Serkan who forgot about your existence called Selin only because he trusted her enough.”

“I know, you don’t have to tell me about this. Serkan, we need to-”

“I’m your delinquent.”

“Serkan, I never blamed you for forgetting me. You had an accident, trust me not even for once I held you accountable. Forgetting me, forgetting us wasn’t in your hands. Yes, I am mad at you, you rile me up with your antics because you haven’t been trying to remember anything, In fact you- you.” She stopped, unable to finish her sentence. It might’ve been wrong to say it right now. She had saved this conversation for some other day.

“I hurt you. Intentionally. Eda, I knew what I was doing. It was insensitive, barbaric and utterly ruthless of me to stick to selin when I knew that you were in love with, when I knew that I had left you few hours before our wedding.”

“I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.”

Eda remained numb, he had said what was in her heart all this time. But wasn’t she doing the same?

“I know your decision to get engaged to Selin was as impulsive as mine, Serkan.”

“And I know both of us tried to get close to our fiancé’s only to spite each other.” “You were doing it for love, but I- I was just being a dick.”

“Why does it matter Serkan? What happened and what has changed?”

“Everything.”

“Tonight- I got to know that the friend I had trusted since childhood, the one I thought would never deceive me has been responsible for everything”

“i don’t understand”

“I had been following the medicine prescribed by Selin’s doctor. He was the one looking after me ever since she rescued me from the hospital. It was until today that I somehow felt the need to go to another doctor, something didn’t feel right. I had been having these flashbacks but the doctor and selin didn’t correspond. And turns out my medicines have been tampered”

“You are still on medication?!” She gasped

“Evet. There are things I cant do and I need to take double dosage to work properly.”

“Why would she do that? I mean of course she wants you back, but why continue the fake meds when your memory isn’t coming back anyways?”

“Thats the thing, it is coming back or more precisely I have been having flashbacks. Selin knew. I told her. Bak Eda I’m sorry for-”

“Serkan, I’m not expecting you to come to me and telling me about those flashbacks anyways.”

“Eda, I know I have a lot to do, I have to make it up to you, not as the man you loved but as someone you knew, as a human. Because what I did, what I have been doing was inhumane. I had no right to hurt you like this.” “For now, all that’s on my mind is that we need to avenge her. I am not letting her get away with this easily, she had no right to ruin our lives.”

They looked at each other with longing . Eda felt close to him yet distanced. She wanted him back , she wanted him to love her like before but for now this was important. Selin has crossed her limits this time and she would not let her ruin their lives anymore.

“I’m with you in this- together.” She smiled at him and held his hand in hers . Serkan impulsively rubbed his index on her star.

For the first time in months they saw some hope. A hope to fix everything.

“Btw why did you go to Dilek Hanim again?” She asked while tending to his bruises

He blushed and wished that Eda wouldn’t notice. “Heart burn” he paused

“It isn’t serious, she said I need to take my vitamins properly”

Eda smirked sheepishly. “I get it . You’ve had those heartburns before. Not a big deal, we’ll fix it too.”

He did not know what she mean but whatever it was both knew it had to do something with her. His mind forgot but his heart couldn’t.

When you are left with nothing

It’s love that calls us back

It’s love that puts you at sleep

It’s love that brings you comfort

When you are defeated it’s love that means everything

Thus, we never give up on people we love

[jan31]

Rambling Review Episode 33

So..... what can I say apart from it was not good, not the worst, but just frustrating.  I looked at my watch after an hour and thought, oh well this next hour will definitely lead somewhere, and of course it didn’t.

Interesting that after Seline and Deniz found Serkan and Eda in the cabin asleep in each others arms, that all she could scream about was he had missed her birthday, not sure if she forgot her lines but she said it many times!!  And of course it was all Eda’s fault, Serkan is starting to see another side of Seline, how she talks nastily to Eda and isn’t even interested in following her into the night when she storms away.  I am wondering if Serkan heard Deniz talking to Eda about the “game”, as he was on the verandah and the door to the cabin was open.

Finally Eda has a new car and whipped Serkans ass in the race!

Seline checking herself out in the car mirror before getting out the car to see Deniz, definitely something going to happen there.  The sooner the better, they are both evil.  I just don’t see the attraction these women have for Deniz, he always looks like he needs a good wash to me! 

Seline knows how to play the victim game and will take every opportunity to make Serkan feel bad about the cabin.  And we see if almost immediately when he call a meeting to give Seline 5% of his shares

She makes a point of refusing them so she does not look like Eda (taking the shares just cos she was with Serkan).  Of course in the end she accepts, but insists Serkan controls everything, this woman is so dangerous and knows exactly what to say.

Serkans mind is confused at the moment with thoughts of Eda, he has no idea he is falling in love with her as he doesn’t know what love feels like. He was about to sign the document Engin gave him without checking it first and he forgot that Layla said she would be out of the office for a few days.

When Engin confronts him he admits he cant stop thinking about her, her scent confuses him and he does not know what is happening.  He is getting flashbacks from the past which he is not sure are true or not.  Engin tells him he must decide, return to Eda, or marry Seline as it is not fair to either of them

He lets Seline go off into the night from the cabin, but Eda leaves the office after the shares meeting and he actively seeks her out!  He can see love in her eyes, which she denies, but speaking to herself she is still so in love with him but needs him to take a step forward.  Then Deniz who is always lurking interrupts them, he is so creepy and annoying, Eda did not seem pleased that he arrived.

Again when Eda leaves the office and doesn’t say where she is going, he finds out from Erdem where she has gone and follows her there.  Its so nice to see them doing something together and laughing, we need Edser back together, its been too long.  Again creepy Deniz arrives and sniffs Edas neck, that was so ugh and even Eda was shocked.   Seline is also watching them from her car, does anyone in Art Life actually work.

Seline deliberately crashing her car shows how psycho she is and the lengths she will go to gets Serkans attention away from Eda.  Despite Eda asking if there is anything she can do to help, Seline snaps back at her that she wants nothing from her, this doesn’t go unnoticed by Serkan. He is slowly realising that Eda is not this manipulative, cruel woman Seline has portrayed to him, and perhaps makes it easier for him to realise why he is thinking about her all the time.

I hate seeing Seline at Serkans apartment, she is really loving the attention after the crash, but is too stupid to see he is not even sitting next to her and is deep in thought about Eda.  

Ferit and Melo still the only two outstanding characters since the amnesia plot started.  Ferit still bringing Ceren coffee and trying to convince Seline not to go running after Serkan.

I am really not sure why Serkan suddenly decided he wanted Melo and Ceren to set up a surprise dinner for him and Eda, perhaps its what Engin said about deciding who he wants to be with, 

He brushes Seline off with excuses of matters to sort out when she unexpectedly turns up at his apartment wanting to go for dinner, so of course she does the usual thing and follows him.  For Seline this is not about loving Serkan, I don’t believe she does, obsessed yes, but not in love, this is about revenge on Eda for being happy with him, she never got that Serkan when she was dating him.

We see photos of Deniz and Seline kissing being delivered at Art Life, and there has been much speculation on who is behind it, I have heard Ferit, Leyla, Ceren and even a spy for Babanne!  We see Seline opening the envelope in the next episode but it is not clear if anyone else has seen them ie Serkan or Eda, and these photos will be the start of the downfall for Seline and Deniz, hopefully they will be gone in Episode 35.

The kiss in the restaurant is real, even though we all assumed it was a dream so lets see how Serkan explains why he did it.

We are getting the promised falling in love of E and S, but with so little screen time its getting frustrating as they are meant to be the lead characters and appeared for less than 30 minutes in this episode.  i am not even going to mention AAS scenes, honestly they weren’t bad, but too much screen time.  Pryl is getting on my last nerve with her screeching and whining and her storyline was so pointless, i have never been a big fan of hers, and Engin is just wasted in this story line.

The amnesia plot would be easier to tolerate if we did not have Seline and Deniz ruining every one of S and E scenes together, its enough.  Seline and Serkan have been together longer that Edser which is absolutely ridiculous.  Fans are getting vocal and downhearted, twitter is burning with hatred for Seline, Deniz and Serkan right now.  I have never seen such negativity and I cant blame people, they love this show and it is being ruined by bad writing , ratings are tumbling and if its true about a big meeting at Fox on Monday about the shows future then I am worried.  The only thing keeping this show together is the popularity of Hande and Kerem and the other cast and crew members.  The new writers and production team need to listen to the fans who watch the show, they need to know that the show is losing its charm, and why is there so little marketing.  The two fragmans showed nothing, and while i appreciate they want to keep some things a secret, they also need to entice viewers to watch the show live on Saturday.  And get rid of Selin and Deniz, they serve no purpose and have overstayed their welcome.

on a brighter note I have just finished Her Yerde Sen, omg i loved it, so little stress, lots of laughs and the leading actor Firkan is gorgeous, I am so shallow!!!!

[ladylillianrose]

Thoughts on Episode 11 (take 2):

SPOILERS BELOW!!

Alright I’ll get this out there right now…OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! ASDFGHJKL!!!

I haven’t fangirl squeed like this since the Max/Zoey moments in Episode 12 (Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist)!!

*deep breaths* okay I’m calm….for the moment.

I’ll go into everything else before I touch on Serkan and Eda.

I really really really hate how Selin treats Ferit, he deserves better, someone who truly loves him. Honestly I’m kind of hoping he will decide to leave Selin at the altar. A man can only be ignored for another man so many times before he’s done!

Ayfer’s reaction to the contract is a bit over the top, granted she didn’t have all the facts, but still it’s not as though they eloped and are actually married. Especially because she is now deceiving Eda with the scholarship money, which we all know Eda will find out the truth about.

Aydan’s talk with Eda is not terribly surprising all things considered. Yes they’ve grown close and Eda has helped them all, but Aydan is not a woman who embraces change. Selin is the model wife for Serkan, she will listen to whatever Aydan says and wants (something Eda does not do), and because Serkan is not in love with Selin their marriage should ve “safe” from heartaches. Aydan wants to keep her only child close and to protect him from the world, even at the cost of losing the woman he loves.

I’m glad all the girls know the truth now, it was hard for Eda to deceive everyone, though in the end she wasn’t acting anymore, she does love Serkan. But it was causing a strain on the friendship so I’m pleased that they all made up.

I love Eda and Leyla’s relationship. Eda has helped Leyla grow and Leyla has gotten easier and I’m 100% here for sassy/snarky Leyla!

I really do love Engin, he’s just so sweet but clueless when it comes to the women in his life.

So I realized writing my last post that Engin is in a similar situation to Sekan with the two women in his life. On the one hand there is the woman who they’ve known, worked with a d been friends with for years, who has feelings for them (Piril/Selin). And on the other you have the newcomer who helps pull them out of their shell, gets to know the real them outside of work (Engin claims to have a life outside of work, but we have yet to see proof if it), and they are so different from the other women in their lives like a breath of fresh air (Ceren/Eda).

I hope that Engin forgives Ceren because I like them together, they’re adorable and sweet together.

Alptekin’s bombshell, wow, I mean WOW! It definitely sheds light onto why Eda doesn’t want her grandmother’s money. They say the money is Eda’s by right, which it would be since she lost both her parents. It would also explain why Eda and her grandmother do not speak, Eda would see taking the money as a betrayal to her parent’s memories. If Alptekin covered it all up, he would have paid an exorbitant amount of money to the family to keep it from being investigated or in the news (something neither family would want as it would be unseemly). Eda views the money as blood/hush money, gotten at the cost of her parent’s lives, so she wants no part of it. I think this will make the fact that Ayfer went to her mother for the money for Eda, a bigger issue for Eda, with Ayfer going behind her back against her wishes.

The way Ayfer insists that Eda have nothing to do with any of the Bolat’s makes me wonder if she knows that the holding is responsible for the death of Eda’s parents and that Alptekin is the one who arranged to have it covered up.

Now onto our favorite couple!!

The interlocked hands and cheek kiss in front of Selin and Ferit were just so natural, they both forgot that they were just playing parts.🥰🥰

Telling Serkan’s fortune with the song? Oh yes most assuredly, and of course now we have the reason for the show name (apparently it is also Piril’s actress doing the singing, which is lovely and awesome)

I love Ceren and Engin offering advice and the parallel shots/dialogue. Engin is really trying to get Serkan to realise that Eda does love him!

Ugh and the sleeping on “their” sides of the bed with the picture and guitar pick?😭😭😭 Also I love that the picture is from when they had to “make up” after a “fight” on the balcony while the girls listened in. You know Melo was the one to take the picture, print it out and give it to him (I love her and Serkan’s relationship!)

Lmao at the watch coming back! Always beeping around Eda, despite his claims that the watch is broken he still wears it 🤣🤣😉

The doctor’s rose house and story were so lovely and beautiful. That is totally going to be their home together, he had her designing the house and gardens to what she would want. She even said she would want to live in a house like that (so would I!). He could use it once it’s all fixed as the place to truly propose!🥰🥰🥰

Serkan desperately trying to keep Eda at his side in the office. He’s just so sure that she wants to get away from him because she doesn’t like him. 🥺🥺🥺

Bless Seyfi for always looking out for team Edser! He knows who and what Serkan needs! (If this was Shakespeare, Seyfi would be Robin Goodfellow/Puck bringingnour lovers together). And Eda dropping everything to be at his side.

Also Eda telling Selin she would stay with him, despite Selin saying that Serkan likes to be alone when he is sick. Selin may have known him for longer, but she only knows the facade that Serkan puts up to keep people at a distance. Eda knows the real Serkan, he trusts her and is open with her in a way he isn’t with anyone else.

Telling one another’s fortunes with pages from The Little Prince was so sweet (made me want to go back and read it again since it’s been at least 20 years since I last read it).

Serkan’s painful memories 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺. My heart aches for him so. I feel for the whole family, but he was so young and he needed love and support, but instead was sent away. It sheds light on why he’s so reserved with his emotions and trust, and I hope he will be able to share the whole story with Eda (and us) someday.

“Eda do not leave me.” “I’ll go too. Wherever you want.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰 Serkan is so vulnerable here. And of course he doesn’t remember any of it until it’s almost too late!!!

Eda telling Selin the truth, ugh my heart 💔💔💔. And then looking like she might faint from the stress and heartbreak of it (though she’s fainted less and less with Serkan around to help with her anxiety/stress, though he has caused his fair share too!)

I was wondering when we would get to see Sirius again! Sweet boy just wants Mom and Dad to be happy together. And Serkan trying to use Sirius as an excuse to see Eda again😭😭😭

Serkan giving us a heart attack calling Selin to meet him. I don’t think he ever intended to say yes to Selin, he was just stalling for more time till he could come up with a different solution. I certainly hope Selin gets a bit of a backbone after this realizing that she needs to stop dropping everything for Serkan (even when it isn’t him doing the calling/asking).

Serkan making the taxi pullover, declaring that Eda is his bride, and taking charge!😍😍😍🔥🔥🔥 Serkan is always hot, but there is something about him taking control that is just 🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵

Asking about packing flip flops in her suitcase because it is so light 🤣🤣🤣. Serkan mark my words she will get you in a pair of flip flops someday!

The confession🥰🥰🥰 so complete them, arguing, talking about how Serkan can’t get her out of his head! ❤❤

And finally a real kiss!!! All their other almost kisses (and the first kiss) are so charged with UST (which I love), but this one was so sweet, loving and romantic!😍😍😍😍

Now I’m off to watch the end of the episode and the fragman for 12 on repeat until next Wednesday!!

Alright I think that was everything I had written before. If not I’m sure I’ll add some random posts later lol.

[aslibekroglu]

I agree. I wouldn't mind if we had this cold Serkan almost all the time but make it consistent. He's caring and sweet with Eda, then cold and almost cruel. Everyone (almost) has mostly accepted his new persona without any empathy towards Eda. I think I get what they want to do but they're not doing it right at all. Ceren is my biggest disappointment. Mental illness portayed as a rich-girl whim and I hate they make me hate her but I do and honestly don't want to see her anymore. 1/2

I could honestly take away Aydan, Ayfer and Piril and still keep the series as it is, because their stories have no relation to the main one anymore. I am soooo tired of Engin and Piril's relationship, as I am with Ceren too even more than how tired I am of Selin. When I watch the series subtitled I skip their scenes completely. I will keep on watching but only because of Eda, Serkan (their chemistry) and to see how they solve all this mess.

> Exactly, if you’re going to have this Serkan, then at least make it consistent, and have him progressively change. This back and forth is exhausting and pointless.

 Aydan and Ayfer, I stopped paying attention to a while ago. Like you said, they have no relevance to the main storyline. I think my main problem with them was that you’d think that with Aydan finally being the big supporter of Edser that she is, she’d be actively working towards getting them back together. She did that one plan in 30, but that was really just a convenient way for the writers to have Eda and Serkan in the same place. After that, she never tried anything again, she’s been so wrapped up in this stupid love triangle that literally no one cares about. And if they really wanted the comedic scenes with her, Ayfer, and Seyfi, then they could have had the three of them planning harebrained schemes to  get Edser back together. You’d also think that she’d be trying her best to get back into Eda’s good graces after Eda found out that she knew about Serkan the whole time he was gone, but NOTHING. 

As for Ceren, I’ve been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt since she is mentally ill, but they really haven’t given it the depth that they need to, which I’m not really surprised by. Yeah, Ferit’s been trying to get her to go to therapy, but this whole character development has really just been used to stir things up and make things difficult for Eda. And I mean I know it’s not that serious and that it’s just a tv show, but mental illness isn’t something that should be made light of in that way. It shouldn’t be used a just a plot point to add unnecessary conflict into the characters lives and drag out the storyline, you know? Not only that, but Ceren’s mental illness has just been reduced into revolving around a man and some unwarranted jealousy against her best friend. Like not once have they actually talked about the trauma that she went through and what brought this mental illness on. Which I understand to an extent, like this is a romcom afterall, they don’t want to make things too serious, but then why would you add mental illness into the mix if you’re not going to take it seriously?????

[lizacstuff]

Your thoughts on the epi?

This episode was everything! I don't remember when I've enjoyed crying so much. The funny thing is, though, that I've found myself crying more while rewatching those scenes, than I cried during the first time I watched the episode. This episode will definitely rank among my favorites. Let's talk about the B and C characters and then get to Edser and, of course, Kiraz at the end. I spent the first 30 minutes resisting the urge to punch my screen anytime Ayfer was on it. Damn, I wanted to slap her silly. Could she have been any more annoying? Eda's a grown woman, if she is finally doing the right thing and telling the father of her child he's a dad, then be supportive instead of a screeching pain in the ass. When she actually said "I told you so" to an upset Eda... seriously? That is awful. What a bitter, joyless, petty individual. I was cheering for Melo every time she told Ayfer she was negative. Good! At least we know the other characters recognize how awful she is.

(I get long winded, so this continues under the cut)

Also what was with her going overboard to protect Burak's feelings over his delusional aspirations? Why shouldn't he understand that Serkan and Eda shared a great love and Melo is rooting for them to rekindle it? What does hiding that from him do? It's still true. Ayfer treats this dude as a member of the family, so he might as well know. I get his feelings might get hurt, but dude needs a reality check and to move on, and no matter how hard Ayfer hopes, Serkan in their lives or no, Eda is never going to want Burak. She's made that clear. If Ayfer likes him so much maybe she should marry him, that way at least Melo would be saved from his milquetoast presence.

Speaking of that, they were clearly trying to establish some sort of connection or vibe between him and Melo. So far, I'm not into it. If he's still so into Eda that Ayfer doesn't want him to have to hear about Eda/Serkan possibly reuniting, then he doesn't deserve Melo. Melo deserves someone who wants her, not someone who pines after someone out of his league and then settles for her bff once he realizes he never had a shot with the great beauty. We'll see how it develops, but he has the personality of damp carpet so I don't have high hopes.

Aydan was a little screechy this episode, but I cut her some slack since she just found out these traitors stole 5 years of her granddaughter's life from her. My friend @echoapothecary made a good point to me that Aydan deserves no sympathy for this since she didn't tell Eda Serkan was alive back in amnesia times, and I don't disagree with that. That move by Aydan pretty much tainted her character forever, and it's near impossible to come back from, but viewing this story in a capsule I do feel sorry for her. She wasn't a good mother to Serkan, but she does love him, and I think she craves family. The main point being, Serkan wasn't the only one who lost something significant by not knowing about Kiraz until now, Aydan did too. Perhaps we can say that losing the first five years of her granddaughter's life is her punishment for keeping the secret about Serkan, it's about as steep a penalty as one could pay. Talk about karmic retribution.

Also, since Serkan is apparently not going to impose any emotional tolls on any of the traitors for the secret that was kept from him, I'm glad Aydan did at least make her displeasure known and made some of the liars uncomfortable. Piril, at least, felt it, even if she won't suffer any real consequences. I kind of wanted Serkan to kick her out of the company. I really don't like that character and I think every time she's on screen she just sucks the life out of the show. Engin when he's in scenes with Serkan or Eda or Melo or Aydan or Erdem = Interesting. Engin when he's with Piril = Zzzzzzz.

Pina and Kerem were cute, but to be honest I really don't care. It's inoffensive and I get that we need B, C and D storylines to fill out two hours each week, so I'm good with it, but let's be real I'm only watching for the main event.

Speaking of... now to EDSER! I actually like that Serkan walked out and drove away after hearing the truth. I can only imagine what kind of shock and betrayal he must have felt at that moment, escaping must have seemed like his best option. What I liked even more is that Eda followed him. What a relief after the last episode where she was looking for any and every excuse not to tell him and then made the nonsensical decision to flee in order to avoid it. Too many times in the past between these two pride has gotten in the way. There was a time that Eda might have thrown up her hands at him leaving and pretended like it didn't hurt, that it didn't matter. I'm so glad those days seem to be over. One of the hallmarks of season 2 has been the improved communication (sans secret) between these two and this episode took that concept to a new level.

How heartbreaking to watch Eda plead with Serkan through the door, and how double-y heartbreaking to watch Serkan sitting on the floor, head bent, clearly in emotional agony. You could feel it coming off of him. Kudos to both Hande and Kerem who KILLED IT this episode. Seriously, their best work to date. Their chemistry is always on point, but the way they flawlessly work off of one another in every scene they share, whether it's deeply dramatic or something light and romantic is truly something special to behold. That's one reason why I don't get the folks who are so hung up in hating the season 2 plotline, that they can't appreciate any of this. Because this is the point. Giving these two artists deep and challenging scenes together and opportunities to make more magic. Watching them this season is honestly a privilege and I plan on enjoying every minute of it.

Despite Serkan's emotional turmoil, it was so like him to put the blanket over her and then sit across from her sleeping form as he indulged in some more brooding. However, I really appreciate that by the morning he was ready to talk to her. That conversation was hard, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who was jarred by him saying that he would have told her to get an abortion. In light of his later confessions, I think there's a few ways to take that. I think it was in part a nod to what an emotional mess he was at the time, and in part he said it to alleviate some of her guilt. Because even a betrayed and hurt Serkan cares so much about her, and he knows what he put who through at the time. Especially because at that moment he still had no plans to tell her the truth about why he broke up with her, he was still playing the part of the man who just didn't want children. So stubborn! Thank goodness that over the course of the next 12 hours he'll change his mind about that...

On another note, how happy did it make you to see Sirius? It made me pretty happy. He lives!!!!

From the moment Eda went to his hotel room the night before to confess all the way until they met again at the hotel, Eda really did everything right in how she approached him. However, once back in Sile, she makes her first critical error. It reminded me of the Eda in episode 29 who started pushing so hard at amnesia!Serkan and coming at him with such extreme emotion that he shut down. And that's what happened during that conversation on the beach. Eda needed to give him a little bit of time to come to terms with things, instead of forcing a conversation the first moment they saw one another. Good grief, what was she doing demanding answers from him hours after he found out? She knows this man! She knows that he plans every aspect of his life. So to spring on him that you hid a child from him for 5 years and he's a dad, is a LOT. I like that in a later scene he knows he reacted badly, and actually also says to her "What did you expect?" While his reaction wasn't great, it was also pretty predictable and she should have known to give him some time.

Speaking of the conversation on the beach, what a powerhouse scene for Hande. One note on it, that was the scene they had just shot when Hande and Kerem did their last IGlive on premiere day. The one where Kerem kept talking about how he was in a mood because of an intense scene they had just done. After watching I couldn't help but note that he, as Serkan, mostly just stood there stoically as Hande did all the emoting as Eda let loose on all the pent up emotion she'd been carrying both for years and with Serkan's fresh rejection. It speaks to both their personal and professional dynamic that he was so affected by her being in that state since he didn't do the heavy lifting in that specific scene. The way they are attuned to each other is probably a big reason they are so flawlessly in sync on screen.

I liked how they weaved the Kiraz/Baba scene in at the right time. That was one instance where Aydan, Seyfi and Engin's meddling was for the good, engineering a situation where Serkan was alone with his daughter. Also excellent comedy from Can, ratting out his dad about throwing ice cream on him. Good stuff. I like Engin-as-a-father scenes, I like Engin-as-a-friend scenes, I could just do without Engin-as-a-husband scenes. Anyway, Serkan needed time to adjust, but he also needed to be exposed to Kiraz so that he could view their prior unlikely bond through the new prism of fatherhood. It's telling how easily he slid into Dad territory with teaching her how to tie her shoes. He had been doing that all along, but at that moment he knew about the relationship and still did what was natural. He is ready to be her father, he just needs to realize he's worthy of it.

You can't blame Eda for not realizing it, but it was lovely to see how quickly Serkan turned the corner. He was already adjusting his thinking not even 24 hours after he found out about Kiraz and that was really what inserting himself

into her dealings with the Italians was about. Staying in contact until he could beat back all his neurosis. As for the business stuff, she apparently needed him as an investor, but I also love the way he was there to first build up her confidence and then praise her after a successful presentation. I've said it before but Serkan as her professional mentor is one of my favorite dynamics between them. It did make me wonder, is she still 45% owner of the Holding? It seems like it, she sure didn't hesitate to present herself as his partner. If she is, though, it seems impossible that they could have had zero contact for all those years, unless she just placed her stake in a trust and gave him full voting control of it. Details I'm sure they won't explore in-depth, but I did wonder.

Don't you just love an unwitting guest character (Italian guy) who comes in and forces our two protagonists to spend extra time together? I do. Thank you Italian guy and Italian guy's wife! I love how quick Serkan was to accept, you see, he had already turned a corner and was looking for excuses to get close to her. It was his first step in his journey to opening up to her. Also, who noticed that Eda wore a slinky blue dress the night after Kiraz mentioned that it's Serkan's favorite color? Just checking. She is not as immune to his charms as she'd like us to believe...

OF COURSE Serkan was at Eda's graduation. I think pretty much the whole fandom had guessed that from their conversation in episode 40, but it still hit me emotionally to have it confirmed. What I really liked about it was that Serkan didn't tip his hand by accident. He quoted her graduation speech specifically because he wanted her to know he was there. And not only that he willingly admits that he thought of her every single day since they parted. This is a huge step for him. It has been driving him crazy that Eda thinks he forgot her and is totally unaffected by her. However, even just a few hours earlier he was still in a place where he had no intention to tell her anything, it's actually impressive how quickly he came around. Now I don't blame Eda at all for declaring it's not enough, he put her through emotional hell when they broke up. I mean on one hand you'd think she'd be able to see that he was already opening his heart and there was more to the story, however, her reaction was good because it spurred him on to go and tell her the whole story.

And what a heartbreaking story it was. As I said several times over the last few weeks, I was hoping that part of Serkan's motivation was that the doctor had told him he would be unable to have kids, what I wasn't expecting though was the double whammy of not being able to have kids AND there being a 70% chance of the cancer coming back. No wonder Serkan was eFFed up! Who wouldn't be, but then you add in his additional insecurities about not being worthy of love and his hypochondria and that is a bad mental cocktail. You know what's ironic, Ayfer hates him but in reality he did exactly what Ayfer would have wanted him to do. Push Eda away for her own good so she could have everything she wants in life without him dragging her down. What makes Ayfer the worst (and a hypocrite) is that this is exactly what she would have wanted him to do, but she also blames him for Eda's heartbreak in the aftermath.

The scene was so cathartic to watch as a viewer. We've been waiting for weeks for Serkan's point of view as he's hidden behind his usual confident and calm veneer, and when we finally got it, we really got it. He did not hold back. Serkan is such a complex character, which is a bit surprising for a silly show that you wouldn't really expect build a character with so many layers. On the surface he has everything and seems to be full of ego, but his arrogance is only surrounding his abilities, intellect, and skills as a businessman and architect. Personally, he has little self-worth and thinks he's not worthy of anyone's love, especially not Eda's. However, while that has been a truth of the character for a long time, this speech was the first time he admitted how deeply rooted his fears are. It was stunning, though, to have a character who is so rooted in being in control and who is worried about his outward image, open up in such a raw way and expose all his fears and insecurities to a woman he's been apart from for five years. It was breathtaking and Kerem was fantastic in the scene.

Initially, with the subtitles, I misinterpreted (though I knew it couldn't be quite right) his parting words. The subtitles I saw made it seem like Serkan was saying "Don't say you forgot me" as in Serkan didn't want Eda to say she forgot him. But it made so much more sense when I saw it translated as "But don't say I forgot you." which was a throw back to their dinner conversation in episode 40 when Eda says, "You forgot me." Once I realized Serkan was saying that he couldn't handle her thinking, or say, that he'd forgotten her, the scene hit doubly hard!

I saw some criticism of that scene that said Eda was just standing there with no emotion, but I didn't get that at all. She had tears running down her face and I thought she was fighting for his soul pretty dang hard. First by using both emotion-- telling him that everything had changed because now he had a daughter and that he'd locked his heart and soul in a cage. Then by using logic-- when she told him the cancer is gone and that's it's over and when she challenged him over why everything has to be perfect. Think from her perspective how disorienting it would be to find out that everything you thought was true, was not, and that if the love of your life wasn't such a stubborn, selfless, self-sabotaging martyr that you could have built a family together instead of been separated for 5 years. It's a lot.

On the first watch this doorway scene is where I started to get emotional, but I didn't really lose it and fully cry until Serkan's scene the next day with Engin. For whatever reason that scene hit me hard. Hats off to Anil for his work there, the way his voice broke at times during that conversation really got to me. This type of true friendship scene was something that was sorely missing during the era of the other writers, and it was wonderful to see it back, just when Serkan needed it most. Serkan needed someone to shake him a bit about his fears of dying. I think the writers did a good job here, because while Serkan's neurosis and self-sabotage is maddening, with his history it's believable that he was stuck in a headspace where he really thought he couldn't be a father to Kiraz, or a partner to Eda, because he might up and die on them. I loved how Engin pointed out that Eda and Kiraz would not be the only ones affected if he died and how ridiculous it was for him to lock himself away.

I'm glad we got the scene with the doctor to really get a full glimpse of Serkan's view of his illness and it's also a relief to not only Serkan, but to us viewers that since five years have passed cancer-free he now has the risk of a typical healthy person. Serkan isn't the only one who has hang ups about his health, I think after amnesia and cancer viewers do too!

Finding out that Eda had made videos specifically for Serkan over the years, talking to him directly, hit hard. I wasn't really expecting that. I thought maybe she just had general photos and videos, like any doting parent would have, but the fact that she was always wanting him, documenting Kiraz's life and preparing for a day when he would hopefully take his place as Kiraz's father... wow. On the cynical side it makes it that much harder to believe that she never made more of an effort to tell him once Kiraz was born, but I won't focus on that. Not when the scene was as perfect as it was. Kerem again was stellar, he made me cry buckets. I think since amnesia many of us wanted an emotional response from him, thank goodness this story finally delivered it. The emotions running through him at that moment were overwhelming and Kerem did a fantastic job of portraying all of them, the heartbreak over everything he missed, the joy at seeing moments

from his daughter's life, the regret of not being there and being the partner Eda needed, the pride in the job Eda did in raising their daughter alone, and finally the bittersweet relief that Eda never forgot him.

It was a lot, but it was a good segue to the next scene when Eda calls him frantic because Kiraz went missing. What was clear from those videos was that while Eda, when we first meet her in Sile, appeared on the surface to have everything handled as a single mom, she always really wanted to have Serkan there as her partner. While Kiraz was pining for her dad, Eda was pining for Serkan as well. And we see this displayed in full force when Serkan arrives. Several people try to comfort Eda, including Burak, but she's not having it. However, as soon as Serkan gets there you can almost see the relief hit her in a wave. She's not in this alone anymore. Kiraz's father is there to help. Even if nothing is settled at that moment, she knows she can rely on Serkan and that he will know what to do. Which is supported by the fact that he clearly took charge the moment he found out, calling the authorities, having them begin searches etc.

But while highlighting his competence, conversely can we talk about how incompetently everyone else was at searching for Kiraz? They all acted worried, but did any of them make any real effort to find her? LMAO, they all seemed much more concerned with their own personal dramas. Especially egregious were Engin and Piril. Hello! Your son is clearly trying to tell you where the missing person is! Stop ignoring him. Thank goodness Serkan is very good at finding people.

Of course he found her and our hearts collectively shattered as we watched her trying to send a message to her Baba in space when in reality he was kneeling right there beside her, helping her tie the note to the balloon. If anything else was left to convince Serkan that he is wanted and needed, by both Eda and Kiraz, this situation was it. Even though some careless crew member spoiled the astronaut suit in an unnecessary IG story from the set, (that would have been a really good surprise) it was still satisfying to see this fairy tale play out. Never over "Baba?" and "Happy Birthday, my daughter" and now I can't wait to see Kiraz's reaction that her new friend Serkan Bolat is actually her dad and it should be pretty great to watch the three of them form a family together.

Overall this was the most emotional episodes of the series, and also one of the best.

[yourpakichic]

Episode 16 Thoughts 

-The way he’s so concerned when she starts acting nice to him  he’s so worried and already knows she’s gonna be mad at him when she remembers everything

-When she caresses his face...... he literally is in shock but melts at her touch....

-He literally was at peace with her laying on his shoulder. Well that peace lasted like a second..... the way he said “Welcome back Eda Yildiz” I was cracking up

-The way Pyril wears the pants in he relationship with Engin, I freaking love it! And he just follows whatever she says!

-The way Serkan got his way for once with Eda, lol I was expecting him to drive her home as she always gets her way

-They are so petty toward each other, I freaking love seeing them bicker

-THEY WERE SO HAPPY AND IN THE LOVE BUBBLE..... I literally will die for their happiness! Their smiles, touches, small domestic life..... they deserved it all! THE FLASHBACKS WERE EVERYTHING!

-The freaking bed scene. They are literally everything. They are so gentle with each other. The way Serkan just admired her first thing. The way they caressed each other. I just literally will never get over this.

-I don’t know why but Ayfer’s behavior toward Serkan has always bothered me. I know that as Eda’s guardian she has a right to be upset but I swear, it just bugs me the way she speaks to Serkan most of the times.

-Serkan said, split the holding and take Eda with you? NOT UNDER MY ROOF.

-He didn’t even wait and straight up went to ask her about it. Sir, you are impossible.

-Serkan is getting to Efe, I love to see it! Efe was a little too put together and calm when introduced. Now that we’re seeing him a little unraveled, I kind of interested to see what trouble he is going to bring. Serkan has always said he likes chaos so it’ll be fun to see Serkan respond chaos created by Efe. 

-Engin having to do God’s work in this entire situation to get the boys night together! Someone give that man time off cause I’m sure he needs it. Engin activating Serkan’s OCD was absolutely hilarious

-“There is another Efe behind this”. I have a bad feeling about this.

-Erdem’s entry into the party made me die of laughter

-HE SHOWED UP.

-Drunk Eda is so cute and even more wild

-Serkan sacrificed his love and happiness to maintain peace for this family, for his parents. The least they can do is respect is decision to leave as Alptekin suggested. And I think Aidan should be understanding and for once do something for Serkan like working on going outside. I know she has her own trauma that prevents it and I’m not trying to undermine that, but why must Serkan sacrifice everything. As his parents, they need to step up and support his decision and change their ways to help their son move forward.

-I don’t know why but I found Eda/Serkan dancing together a little bit out of no where. Like she just called him an insensitive robot and next thing they’re in each other’s arm. Like I felt like a lead up to it was missing. And also it just felt like that could’ve been directed better! Don’t get me wrong, I loved what we got to see but like the magic wasn’t the same that existed between them in the 3rd episode. Maybe if it was a little bit longer and we got to see more of them being just entranced then it would’ve added up. I loved seeing Eda’s face and reaction to it but I just felt like it could’ve been better.

-Listening to the lyrics of the song as they danced just made me love that scene more than I can explain. It just perfectly captured the feelings of these two. A+ for that song choice and scene

-EVERYONE IS HUNGOVER, they all got plastered!

-Secret partner? From Mardin? Grandmother’s entry is in motion and I AM READY FOR IT!

-She dragged his ass to go see the garden! Lol Serkan why do you even bother trying to say no to Eda? You know she gonna get her way!

-I was gonna say Aidan is selfish for reaching out for Eda’s help but I can’t help but feel for her. She doesn’t want to hurt Eda and reach out but Eda seems to be the only one who has been able to help Aidan. I just feel like this is gonna worsen Serkan’s guilt. Serkan wants his mom to finally go outside but Eda helping her will just increase his guilt toward Eda. But also he’ll feel guilty toward Aidan for cutting off her source of support in overcoming this. I just feel for him because no matter how hard he tries, Eda and him become connected and a part of each other lives in so many ways and through so many dynamics.

-Now Eda knows there was a reason. And she is not going to stop until she finds out the truth. There is keep this a secret anymore Bolats, it’s time for Eda to know.

Overall: I enjoyed the episode even though it was a bit lackluster. I feel like EdSer really carried the episode by themselves. I know everyone has been complaining about the editing of the episode and the spoiled ending and tbh I’m frustrated with it too because I know we could’ve had some amazing and magical choice of direction but I’ll take what I get! My only request it that when things hit the fan, and EdSer reunite, IT BETTER BE DONE RIGHT. I will not excuse a bland, half-done truth reveal or reunion.

Fragmans: I FREAKING LOVED THE FRAGMANS! I was a little confused when the first one came out cause I was like how the heck are we going from the ending of this episode to a pregnancy trope but I’m interested on how they exactly bring it into this. At the end of the day, I’m just gonna enjoy watching Serkan get overprotective of Eda and everything that comes along with that. But let me tell you, the 2nd fragman TOOK ME OUT. I was literally hyperventilating when I saw that one. When she grabbed his face, I like fell back. And Serkan looks like he’s going to crack and break down right there. I don’t think that Serkan tells her the truth. If anything, I think he’ll hurt her again the same way he did with the breakup, just trying to come up with an excuse to stay away. But I think Eda won’t buy into it this time. It’s really hard to say exactly what will happen but I think the truth reveal might actually be in the 18th episode. They’ve dragged it out a bit by this episode so I hope they don’t keep dragging it out. I think it NEEDS to come out at this point and let things fall where they may.

[djemsostylist]

Of Queens and Trash

Here’s the thing. SCK has been on a downward trend since 13. The breakup was long, getting together again was tiring, the amnesia plot was poorly handled and the mess that came following his recovery was, well, a mess. The necessary break for covid gave us a chance for a fresh start for Edser. All the bad stuff in the past, and a focus in the last episodes of them being able to finally fulfill all the promises they had not been able to. After all, this was a story that, at its core, was about two people who met and fell in love and who, no matter what, chose to be together. Invisible handcuffs. And with the return of the OG writer, it seemed we might finally get that. After 39 episodes of angst and only 7(?) of real togetherness, surely it was time? Forget the pain of the past, and start with Edser navigating their world together.

And then the trailer dropped. And all of a sudden, all the people who had spent months eviscerating Serkan for behaving badly in the 30s were celebrating this new plot, the “great angst” and Eda “being a Queen.”

For me, I can’t get over the hiding of the child. It's a hardline deal breaker. I don’t think it matters who writes it, I think it's an awful plotline. No matter how "good" the trailer looks or moments seem, I will remember that I was watching a show about two people who loved each other and never wanted to be apart, about a man who learned how to open his heart, and this ruined it all.

Now, I think it's worth noting that my hard line, in this particular case, is in response to Edser, if that makes sense. I’m not hardline, “if this is in a story I’m not watching”. If it works for the characters and story because that is the type of story being told, then fine.

I don't subscribe to the woke feminism brand of "all women are Queens and all men are Trash" which seems to be a trend of late (and not just in fandom). I think people are people and people are generally imperfect but also trying. I don’t think women, simply by virtue of carrying a child, get full say in what happens to the child, regardless of the father’s wishes. I'm not fond of a “hiding a kid storyline”, and while I get the whole "my body my choice" style of arguing, it took two people to make the baby. Two people get a say in what happens. I get you are growing the kid, but you didn't spontaneously conceive.

For me, Edser being apart and/or hiding a kid is a hardline. It doesn't fit with the characters as I know them and it doesn't fit with the storyline. And look--I hated the amnesia plot. I thought there were a literal million ways this could have been done better, but it's what we got. So for everyone suddenly defending this new plot, despite it making about as much sense as Eda getting married to make Serkan remember her, then that means everything goes. No blaming writers or ignoring canon...everything has context and meaning now. And since “it's realistic” is also a common refrain, then fine. Let’s go realistic.

Imagine being in a plane crash. You wake up, you have clear physical/mental blocks. For someone who likes to be in control, that's terrifying. You have a ring on your finger with a woman's name you don't know, and an entire year missing. You call the one person you know will come (since your parents and friends are useless) and she comes and tells you a story that jives. You can't remember shit and you keep getting flashes and your hands won't work, so you take what she tells you, because why would you have any reason to doubt? It’s not like you can remember anyway, and trying to remember hurts.

You finally go back home, and you recognize nothing about your own life. Friends, family...everything is different. Your mom is out, your dad is gone, your best friends are married. You don't even live in the same house, you have people working in your company you don’t know--even your dog is gone. And then you have a hysterical woman throwing pictures in your face of a man you don't recognize and your brain is still foggy and all your friends and family seem to be shrugging their shoulders at you.

You're terrified and alone and all you get is some vagueness about an epic love story and too much emotion and all you want to do is hide. From everything. Plus your heart is doing this thing every time the girl is near and you think you might be dying maybe and remember how your brother died?

So, the girl kisses you, you literally feel like you might be dying, and it's like naw. Fuck this. I'm getting back an ounce of control. So you propose to Selin. I mean you don’t love her and you barely want her but at least she is the same. At least she hasn’t changed, and at least she doesn’t stare at you with the weight of a million expectations that everyone else does. At least she doesn’t look at you and hope to see a man you can’t ever remember being.

But then the girl everyone claims is your soulmate is suddenly engaged to another man, and spends every moment after that claiming she hates you, she is over you, she is better off/happier without you, doesn't need you.

So it's like, okay, what is the truth. Your brain isn't helping, your friends aren't helping, she isn't helping. So you lash out, you close off, because really, what else is left. Your life isn’t your life, your mind isn’t your mind, you can’t even figure out what’s real and what isn’t. And she’s getting married and you want to die but she’s getting married and surely if she loved you she wouldn’t be doing this?

And then you get your memories back. Finally. Everything comes flooding back ,and it's a lot. You cope in shitty ways, you don't respond well, etc. You’ve returned from the dead twice, and everything feels just slightly off, but maybe you can make this work. At least you have her. After a few days, you’re feeling like your old self. You've got your memories, your girl, the possibility of the future you had snatched twice, and then BOOM. She rejects you, out of nowhere.

Won't talk, won't communicate, you have no idea what the fuck is happening. She’s crying and sad but also not leaving but also not staying and your brain can’t quite work things out but all you can do is promise that you love her, only her, always her, forever. Surely she must know that by now, right?

And then she tells you about the baby. You can't remember the sex of course, but then you find out it probably happened while your brain was fucked, and you barely have time to process this before oh yeah the love of your life is leaving you bc she would rather you raise a baby with your rapist. And suddenly you might be dying, again.

But you stop her. You stop her and even though she says she didn’t come back for you, why else would she have stayed? So, you finally get her back, she tattoos you on her finger and maybe just maybe everything will be fine when BOOM. Cancer. You aren't even over the other shit, and you have a fucking tumor. You are 30 years old, you've survived a plane crash, amnesia, and now you have a tumor. How many times can a person die?

And so you don’t cope well. You withdraw, you back away. Your brother died when he was young, you know what that does to a person. You know what it did to your family. You have this fear that curls around your heart that says “but what if she becomes my mother.” And she goes. She leaves and she takes your heart and your child (that you don’t even know about) and it’s like...fuck. Again. Because everyone leaves you, eventually. And somehow, it’s always your fault.

So, what I'm saying is, Eda endured a lot, sure. She was hurt. Their breakup in 14 was hard and I’m not denying that (although there is another post I could write about how since Eda never actually uses her words to tell him how she feels he can, perhaps, be understood in assuming that breaking up after barely being together would hurt but also that she would move on and live her life happily without him. Which I guess season 2 proves…) Losing Serkan to an accident/amnesia was hard, looking at the body of the man she loves but not seeing the man she loves must have been agony. But Serkan was fucking wrecked. So instead of choosing to write a plot where they both get to heal, where they both get to explore their pain and work through it together, we get Serkan who reverted to being a robot to cope with massive trauma and PTSD, and essentially is abandoned by everyone, again.

I guess what I'm saying is, if staying with him and supporting him when he was dealing with trauma was too much for her, then fine.That is very true for some people, and it’s certainly realistic. But I don't really think that jives with Eda and her character, and while it isn't a trauma competition, I'd still think Serkan comes out a winner here. Eda lost her parents, which was awful. She lost him, but she got him back. Twice. His trauma is losing his brother, being abandoned by his parents, a plane crash, amnesia, emotional manipulation/abuse and cancer. And then he gets punished by having his daughter taken away from him because he was having a hard time coping. Keeping a kid a secret isn't "protecting the child" it's punishing the father.

Tl;dr The direction they have taken the characters is gross for both mains, but if people are trying to justify Eda keeping his child from him because “he deserves it” or “she did what was best for her” then I think we maybe haven’t been watching the same show. Even if he said “I don’t want kids,” saying that to a hypothetical child is very different then being told “a baby is very much our reality.” Because that's the crux right? It's not that he decided he just didn't want to be a father ever, he's scared of having a family and losing them or of them losing him. And then she made that very fear be realized. Which is tragic and quite the opposite of what his life partner needed to do in that situation.

Bitte.

Thanks to @lolo-deli for the proofread and the final lines, you are the best. And for putting up with my uncontrollable ranting about this for days.

[originalhybridloverfics]

What I Left Behind - Edser Fic

Summary: Eda is consumed by the loss of Serkan until she learns he left her with a piece of herself. She does her best to move forward but there's a tear in her life, her heartbroken beyond repair.

When Serkan returns she thought it would be a happy day but he doesn't remember her. He's with Selin. But even without his memories, he looks at her in a way that shakes her foundations.

Could the Serkan she lost ever be found?

Eda couldn’t move forward. She couldn’t fathom living in a world without her soulmate. Without Serkan.

Her wedding day was supposed to be the happiest moment of her life, now it was her most haunting memory.

She was living a nightmare she could not wake up from no matter how much she wanted to.

Serkan was gone, missing, lost and more than likely very hurt.

She refused to believe he was dead. She would have felt in her heart if that were the case.

But she feared for him. There was nothing that would’ve kept him from coming back to her. So why didn’t he? He promised he would come back.

Was she deluding herself? Was he gone and she was just in denial? Was she holding onto a ghost?

For the first few days, she cried herself to sleep, Serkan’s shirt clutch in her hands, his scent surrounding her.

She refused to eat, refused to leave the house, refused to come out of her room, refused to talk to anyone.

The one time she did was to leave her aunt’s house and go to Serkan’s. Sirius was there waiting for Serkan but got her instead.

There was a leash by the door. He had fresh water and a full bowl of food. She wasn’t sure who has been taking care of him but she was thankful to whoever it was.

Her friends and her aunt called her phone but she let it go to voicemail.

She didn’t want to talk to anyone, she didn’t want to hear their voices telling her it was all going to be okay.

Nothing was okay. Serkan was gone and until he came back for her nothing was ever going to be okay again.

Sirius walked up to her, his food untouched, and let out a low wine.

Eda dropped to the floor and wrapped her arms around his body, clinging to him. “I know, I miss him, too.” The tears slid down her cheeks wetting his fur.

Eda stayed there with Sirius for a long time, her body going stiff with her lack of movement.

She did not move until Sirius nudged her with his head. She stood slowly and started up the steps of Serkan’s apartment, stepping into his room was hard.

His scent filled the air and her heart squeezed in her chest, her throat closed up and a new wave of tears welled in her eyes.

She felt like she could not breathe. She moved to his side of the bed and sat on the edge. Her eyes slid shut and she could still remember the last time she was here with him.

Their bodies pressed together, skin to skin, his eyes shining with love, so much love that it seemed almost impossible that someone could love her with the depth Serkan did.

There were times that it had overwhelmed her. To be the center of someone’s world, it was a feeling she couldn’t describe but she felt the same way about him.

Every day since Serkan’s disappearance she had the same heart-crushing despairing thought sounding in her mind whenever she was alone.

She didn’t want to be here any longer.

She didn’t want to live in a world without Serkan. She didn’t want to be here if he wasn’t here with her. She didn’t want to experience everything life had to offer if she couldn’t experience it with the love of her life.

Eda laid down in the bed, pulling Serkan’s sweater to her chest, and allowed the pain to take hold. Her sobs filled the room, her face wet with her tears, and her body shaking with the pain.

She cried so hard, she couldn’t breathe, her heart pounded in her chest and her stomach cramped.

Suddenly the bed dipped and Sirius was there, he let out a whimper and pressed his head against her stomach.

Eda dropped her left hand down to lay atop his head, her grief not subsiding in the least but having Sirius there was a comfort.

Her phone rang suddenly, her aunt’s name flashed across the screen.

Eda ignored the call and turned her phone off. She didn’t want to be bothered. She just wanted to be left alone.

She wanted to sleep. It was the only time she could see Serkan. It was her only escape from the pain.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Eda barely had the energy to get out of bed most days. The more time that passed, the more she died a little bit more on the inside.

Her aunt and friends, Seyfi and Aydan eventually found her at Serkan’s place. Their concern was nice but she didn’t want it. Their presence only made things worse.

Aydan tried to get her out of bed but Eda couldn’t do it, Hell, she didn’t know how Aydan was managing.

Her aunt tried to get her to eat, to do something other than locking herself away in Serkan’s bedroom, but she couldn’t do it.

Ceren and Melo were trying to handle things at work but Peril and Engin needed her at the office. She was the majority shareholder now that Serkan was gone and they needed her there. She needed to speak to the press about Serkan.

Eda couldn’t do it. Work was the furthest thing from her mind.

She wanted nothing to do with it. With anything. None of it mattered without Serkan. She couldn’t move forward. She refused to.

She pushed everyone away. She didn’t need them. She needed Serkan and he wasn’t here. He left her alone and her heart, her soul, couldn’t take it.

She was slowly dying on the inside without Serkan. Suffocating from everyone’s expectations of her to pick herself up and carry on without the love of her life. Drowning from the pain and grief.

Eda thought she knew pain before but the agony she felt now was unlike anything she ever felt before and it only proved to her what she knew with absolute certainty.

She did not want to live without Serkan.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Eda barely left Serkan’s house. The only time she did was to take Sirius for a walk.

Like today Eda gathered her strength dressed in a pair of yoga pants and Serkan’s hoodie, her hair pulled back messily, and headed outside with Sirius.

She started a slow jog, Serius beside her kept to her pace.

She didn’t have the energy to run faster and in all honesty, her body felt too weak to do more.

She should eat more, she knew that. It was clear her body was starting to turn against her because she wasn’t taking care of herself the way she should.

Her health was important and this had to be her body’s way of reminding her much to her dismay.

She ran half a mile before she needed to stop and take a break. She stopped by a vendor, getting herself a bottle of water, she walked at a slower pace.

Suddenly there was a flash and they were descending upon her before she realized what was happening.

Camera flashes were going off like crazy, burning her eyes, startling her.

“Mrs. Yildiz, how are you dealing with the death of your fiance?”

Anger filled Eda. “What kind of people ask a question like that out of the blue? It’s none of your business!”

“Will you be taking over his company? Is it true that he left it to you? Do you think you yourself capable of running a business when you can’t even take care of yourself?”

Question after question was thrown at Eda as she tried to get away from them, pulling on Sirius’s leash as he barked and pulled on it, baring his teeth at the reporters.

“Sirius, come!” she ordered, trying to drag him away.

She was feeling like the air was leaving her and invisible walls were closing in on her.

The reporters did not heed Sirius’s warnings and followed, throwing question after question at her, becoming more personal by the second.

She walked two blocks with them stalking her when suddenly, she stopped her stomach cramping badly. Her arm went around her middle.

“Are you pregnant? Is the late Serkan Bey the father? How far along are you?”

Eda wanted to scream and yell at them to go away and stop with their far too personal questions but she couldn’t, her breath hitch, and no sound came out as the cramps intensified.

She felt something wet, and she thought she spilled her water but when she looked at her orange yoga pants, blood was bleeding through between her thighs, spreading across the fabric.

The reporters pressed in on her and it was all too much.

The reporters, their questions, trying to hold Sirius back, the pain, the blood. It was just too much.

Dots danced in her vision, she felt herself falling, losing her grip on the leash and Sirius lunged.

The last thing she heard before everything went back was one of the reporters screaming in pain.

A/N: I'm not sure when I will post chapter two but there will be more to this.

[alicekepley]

Engin is an amazing friend helping Serkan how to be a good father and it was funny when he mentioned that Santa Claus isn't real 😂.

Loved the scene of Kiraz riding the pony. Serkan was so happy ❤. He can't say no to his little angel 🥺.

Between Aydan and Ayfer, I prefer Aydan. I liked that she decorated Kiraz room and I think she can have a good relationship with Eda again. It will be easier to soften her heart, however, she shouldn't have started the paperwork for Kiraz's custody but it's funny that they didn't expect that Edser will live together 😂.

Btw, the moment Eda kissed Serkan on the cheek, the background music reminded me of the scene he confessed she was madly in love with her and kissed her ❤.

Can't believe we didn't listen to Gold 😕.

engin and piril are my faves this season. they have both grown so much thanks to can and I love that for them. they are both such wonderful parents and the fact that they are there to help serkan and eda makes me soft!

aydan >>>>> ayfer. fuck her tbh! I can't stand her anymore and I need for eda to do something to put her in her place because she is way out of line. I want eda and ayfer to have a conversation because aydan must have suffered a lot with eda's departure. aside from the pain serkan was going, she was going through the pain of losing her since she helped her overcome so much.

I screamed when that song started playing because my mind went back to the ending of episode 11 and it was BEAUTIFUL

pls we were robbed once again and they did put gold again in the second fragman. if we don't hear it on the next episode for real I am going to die!

[acertainsomeone]

Surrendered/ edser TS- continued

Humans should never be blamed for what their heart refuses to believe. It isn't in their hands to blindly trust everything and everyone. Someone whose life was chaotic did not deserve to be pushed more.  We don't punish the ones we love.

"You're giving up on him Dada?" Melo had asked naively.

"Never. I'm giving him that space and time which he deserves." Eda's decision to leave Istanbul wasn't out of impulse. It was purely out of her selfless love for him.

"He wouldn't have left you if he was at your place, Eda." Ceren tried to coerce her friend one last time.

"Biliyorum, but I'm not Serkan. I love him, I love him more than anything therefore, I know that the Serkan standing in front of me does not need me." It was futile to explain to her friends what this meant. Not that she hadn't tried to win his trust, not that she had given up on their love. It was just that she could not see him in pain anymore. Her friends didn't notice the restlessness in his eyes, they did not know about the battles going on between his heart and mind, they had been crushing him, and she feared his breaking down more than hers. She had seen it in his eyes, and she feared he won't be able to take it anymore. She feared that he won't be able to take the load of their past and present. The damage was done already. She hadn't gifted her man to Selin, she had only given their fate a chance to work out this mess all by itself. It was getting hard for her to bear everything anyway. She could not breathe around him, without thinking about her secrets, without breaking down on the very thought of what could have had been.

The decision to start a new life in Paris proved to be a great one. It was much needed for someone like her who barely got space to mourn.

He would have loved it here.

Yes, she hadn't stopped thinking about him. Why would she? Realistically speaking, there weren't any hard feelings between them in the first place. Eda knew that she couldn't hate Serkan. Whatever that had happened between them was no one's fault. His amnesia had nothing to do with him. He hadn't hurt her despite Selin's manipulation. Minus the heartbreak that followed, she was not going to hold him accountable for anything that happened in their lives.

Things she expected from him were the ones that would've been fulfilled by the man she loved, not the one who pulled a fake engagement stunt with her.

Happiness isn't always meant to knock on our doors, the way we want.

There was nothing and no one to forgive, besides Selin. It hurt her that he believed her but Eda had to tell herself that the Serkan, who showed up after 2 months did not remember her, he did not remember them.

There is more to life Eda Yildiz. Love isn't everything. You have a long way to go. 

🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫

At the end of the day, fate is all we have to blame. Sometimes, we are not having control over our decisions or the way life works. If Serkan had, he would have never wanted things to work the way they did now. He would have never wanted to see her cry. He would have done everything in his power to ensure her happiness.

Then why didn't he do that when he had the chance?

Was he too convinced by Selin?

Did he doubt her heart when everything was crystal clear?

Maybe he was confused and shocked.

Maybe he was too scared to accept that he had become something that he could never imagine.

His entire existence had been a question mark for the last eight months. When Selin found him at one of the hospitals in Italy, he wondered that nothing could go worse than this. He was lying lifeless on the bed, unable to move, devoid of memories, struggling to come to terms with what had happened.

Luckily, he survived that nightmare. Selin had helped him get better. He didn't want his parents to worry about him thus, he decided to keep this news in wraps. Selin and Serkan had mutually decided to reveal the truth after he had recovered from the shock.

She had told him strange things, how he signed a contract with Eda to get her back, how Eda manipulated him and changed him as a person. She told him that Eda was responsible for all mishaps in his life. And all of this was a plan. Her plan to avenge the death of her parents. Her grandmother was involved, and when Semiha hanim couldn't destroy him, she planned this accident but fortunately, he survived. Eda was already having half of the shares, and now with Serkan's death, she was going to take over the holding.

If she really loves you why hasn't she made any attempts to find you Serkan?

Where is she?

Serkan believed whatever he was told but after coming back to Art Life, he kept on struggling with his feelings. His eyes deceived the truths he was told about. Six months that he spent with Eda, breathing the same air as hers made him realize that she was anything but treacherous.

She loved him.

She wanted him back.

But did he want her back?

He had been lying to himself. He was 100% attracted to her but equally scared to accept that. 

Too many thoughts, too many fears, he didn't have the courage to ask any of the questions that were in his mind. Maybe that's why she gave up on him, maybe that's why she chose to hide the truth. The truth that matters.

He was afraid to ask. It had been three weeks since he heard her conversation with Erdem, and he hadn't been at peace. He was not going to doubt for a second that the child wasn't his. He didn't bother to ask Erdem about it. Eda decided to hide the truth from him, she had the right to tell him about him.

Did he know about her pregnancy before the accident? If yes, then he will never be able to forgive himself. How could he forget the most important thing in this world? How could Eda forgive him for this? She must hate him. She should.

He was flying to Paris, unaware of the conversation he was going to have. What would he say? Hi Eda, I heard your and Erdem's conversation, so you were pregnant with my child but had a miscarriage, do you mind sharing some details?

He couldn't be this insensitive. She must've gone through hell and the fact that she hid it from everyone until now spoke volumes. Yet, they had to talk.

🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫 

"What the hell!" She gasped in shock to find him standing at her door. She peeked at the sides, just in case Selin was with him, and they came here to kick her out of this apartment. On paper, it still belonged to Serkan Bolat and Eda Yildiz. Selin's influence might push him to do the deed. She could do anything and Serkan couldn't be trusted anymore.

"Hi." Serkan replied half-amused, half confused. What was she looking at? What if she didn't allow me to enter inside? I don't even have an excuse

"Napiyosun Burda"

"Is this how you greet your guests?" he took off his glasses and smiled back at her.

Eda sighed heavily, where are your manners, Ms. Yildiz. She gestured for him to come inside.

"So, what is it?" She asked, handing him a glass of water. He was sitting on the couch, staring at the walls. They were a reflection of his personality and Eda's heart. A mere look at the apartment registered the fact that it was designed by him, and Eda added her touches.

He could identify his work really well. His eye spotted the multiple photo frames. He didn't remember them either. Eda noticed that and became nervous. She hadn't removed or made any changes. Their photographs as decided were still hanging there. She could not dare. Memories aren't meant to be discarded whenever we want. 

"I didn't expect you to be here else-" She hesitated.

"It's okay. I'm sorry if you thought-" He stopped, embarrassed for making her feel that way. He wanted to tell her that she need not feel bad about anything. "Actually, I missed Sirius." he blurts instantly to cover up the tension that brewed between them.

"Benimle dalga mı geçiyorsun?" She exasperated. "Serkan! You can't come to my house whenever you miss Sirius." She made sense. Of all the things that had changed in their lives, it included Sirius's preferences as well. He was happy to have Serkan in his life again, but somehow, he refused to stay with him. He'd refuse to eat and drink if Eda wasn't around. It felt as if he didn't recognize the Serkan, who was not in love with Eda Yildiz.

Therefore, they decided that Sirius would stay with Eda, wherever she was. It did pain Eda because she knew Sirius meant everything to him. And without Sirius, Serkan was left with no one. He can have Selin. She made a mental note but she knew that was her being petty and nothing else.

"I'm sorry. I just-"

"It's okay, I understand but you could've at least informed me that you're coming to see him." Eda blinked in confusion, waiting for his reply but he seemed fazed. He was acting strange, just like the day he came to Art Life.

"It's strange that my dog loves you more than me."

"Serkan- you have no idea what he went through when you were not there for two months. We suffered together, you can't blame him or anyone."

Serkan sighed, staring at her incredulously. He did not know how to muster the courage and ask her about that one thing she hadn't told him. Maybe she thinks that I'm not worthy of it.

"Eda...I- I came to ask you something."

"Harika! Now you're on track, I knew something's off. Listen if it's about this apartment then there's no way I'm giving it to you or Selin." She blurted out in a speed, and he felt the urge to shut her up with a kiss.

"EDA , When was the last time you listened to me properly?" He stressed. "I need to talk to you about something else but can you please stop imagining things." He snapped.

"Tamam. I'll get you something to eat."  

🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫

They had been stealing glances for the last half an hour. Eda had prepared him salmon, while she treated herself with spaghetti. She was not even going to convince him to have some this time. It felt awkward.

"How's your job?" How hard it could be to get to the point Serkan Bolat.

"Great, Paris did me good. I'm loving it here." He nodded at her reply.

Serkan knitted his brows when he saw her taking few medicines. "Are you alright?" He asked out of concern knowing Eda was the last person to take medicines.

"iyim iyim. Nothing serious. These are just supplements." She replied with a shrug

"Whom are you fooling here?" He took the small jar from her hand and looked at her disbelievingly. "Eda, this is for PTSD-associated nightmares."

He searched her eyes for an answer. He wanted her to say something, something that he wasn't ready for, but he knew he was responsible for whatever she was going to tell him, and he wanted to hear it.

"Eda, you can tell me. Whatever it is." He placed her hand above hers and pressed it in an assuring manner. He wanted her to trust him this one instant. His heart was begging for her to put her faith in him.

"Neden?" She pursed her lips in defiance, her eyes accusing him of this interference in her life.

"Maybe because I deserve to know about my child as well." His lips quivered. His eyes were not accusing, they were just pleading helplessly. They were begging to be freed. Eda instantly removed her hand from his, it felt as if someone had hit her head with a spade. She was not ready to have this conversation with anyone, neither Serkan nor her friends. She did not know how he knew about this but he needed to leave immediately.

"Serkan. Git." Tears struggled to leave her eyes but she was stern and strong. He didn't move, instead, he kept on staring at her, in her eyes, still searching for answers. Before he could say something, she left the table and rushed to her bedroom.

Serkan didn't follow her. Was It a mistake to come here?

She is already in pain and he worsened it. He had no right to come back asking for things that he doesn't remember anymore.

Serkan spent the next few hours sobbing and cursing his fate. He needed to apologize to her. She deserved that at least. He had been awful to her; this was the least he could do.

She was sitting on the bathroom tiles, crying to herself. Her eyes were swollen, and it felt as if she was struggling to breathe. Serkan rushed and hugged her immediately. She didn't resist his touch this time.

He embraced her possessively

His immediate touch triggered the volcano inside Eda that was waiting to erupt since that night. The bathroom filled with her cries. They grew louder and louder. She hadn't cried since that night. She hadn't cried when the doctor told her that she lost the only hope, the only possession that she had of Serkan.

She couldn't even mourn her miscarriage

Serkan wasn't stopping her, their tears were mingling together. She said something but it didn't make sense. Eda strengthened her grip on his arm and screamed, remembering the pain she went through that night. If he had been there, he would have never let that happen. He would have protected her from that fall. If only he hadn't left for Italy that. If only she had stopped him. If only. 

"I dreamt that it was a boy." She mumbled amidst her cries.

"Shhhhhh, you'll have another baby" He tried to soothe her and that was the only thing he could come up with in that spur of the moment.

"No, I don't want another baby, I want my baby back, I just want him back Serkan." She cried inconsolably while hitting him on his arm.

Serkan was helpless

-Defeated - Powerless

Was he to be blamed for the pain she was going through?

"I want my child back. I just want him back." Eda mumbled the same words to sleep. She was lying in his arms. She had found her comfort and mourned the anguish that was churning in her heart for the last eight months. Serkan sat on the tiles with Eda in his arms- lifeless.... Unable to decipher the events of his life.

He had no memories. He was going to become a father. He was not around when the mother of his child wanted him the most. And the only reason he was here tonight because-

He did not know.

Was it out of love? Or Was it out of an obligation? Why was he here? 

Did he have any right to touch her? 

Eda and Serkan were at a phase of life where they did not know what would happen next. Their actions were questionable.  There weren't any hard feelings. There was pain. But no one was to be blamed. There was longingness. But It carried broken promises and unsaid words. This night was the longest they had experienced in their lives. It didn't end fast; it was meant to put two hearts at peace.

They did not know how things will go from here. But it's okay, at times you don't have to worry about things that haven't happened yet.

When it gets hard to decide, let fate decide

The rights and wrongs of life

It gets better It gets better  

Note: I hope it managed to do justice to your expectations. Sorry for the mistakes, I'm awful when it comes to proofreading!  Didn't feel like giving this Twoshot a proper ending because at times ends are not meant to be forever. Thank you all for the previous comments, It meant a lot <3 Happy SCK day btw ;)