#edit: wow. clearly none of you have thought of making her shut up by using her mouth for something else

[bg3smash-or-pass]

[amispnrewatch]

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

[justanotherlifeff]

Hi I saw you were doing bnha x readers, I was wondering if you could do a bakugo x reader where they go one their first date or one where bakusquad tried to set them up cause they both like eachother please fluff and IDC of it's smut or not

Phase 2

"Bakubro, you're already 25. Don't you think you should go for a serious relationship by now?" Kirishima asked the explosive hero infront of him, who only glared at the hardening hero. "You don't get to tell me what to do shitty hair! My goal is to be the number 1 hero. Not play house." Bakugou barked at Kirishima, making Kirishima sigh. The two of them were good friends since their UA days and while Bakugou was more matured than he was back then, that explosive attitude surely didn't change at all. "What about after being the number 1 hero? Do you even have any plans for then? Bro, right now, fighting and having random hookups may sound nice but in the long term, when you’ll have to retire at some point, you're gonna regret wasting away your life just for one goal." Kirishima tried to reason. "Shut your trap, shitty hair. I don't do love or any sappy bullshit like that." Bakugou grumbled, taking a sip of the beer in his hand. "Unless it's (Y/N)... Too bad that she friendzoned me to oblivion..." Bakugou thought internally. At the moment, Bakugou, Kirishima and Kaminari were in a bar after a long day of hero work to catch up. Bakugou still hung out with the infamous Bakusquad every once in a while, though he usually hung out mostly with Kirishima or you. "Bakubro? Are you scared of the responsibility that comes with relationships? Didn't take you to be the one to be scared of something like that... Even I had the courage to get Kyoka with me." Kaminari teased Bakugou on que. "HAH? I'M NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING DUNCE FACE! FUCKING THROW A RELATIONSHIP AT ME AND SEE HOW I HANDLE THAT SHIT!" Bakugou barked at Kaminari. To that, Kirishima and Kaminari fistbumped behind their backs as their plan was going perfectly.

In a completely different bar, you were sitting with Mina and Sero, sipping the (Drink/N) in your hand. "So, (Y/N)! When are you gonna bag a hot guy into your clutches? My married ass can't see you single for any longer and I am itching to play cupid at this point." Mina elbowed you with a smile. "Sero's single too. Why don't you bother him?" you scoffed in answer, gulping your drink. "Hot guy my ass... The hot guy I like is an egoistical bastard..." you thought internally. "Actually, I'm not single? I kinda started dating a colleague last month..." Sero countered your statement bashfully. "Seeee? You're the only one between us who's single. THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE!" Mina slammed on the table to make a point. "Zeez... Calm your tits Mina... I'm single cause not everyone is manly enough to actually marry the girl he dates. You're one lucky bastard Mina, bagging Kiri like that... The guys I have a thing for usually ends up being fuckboys who only want a one time thing and I'm not into that shit. So it's best to stay single and not get hurt." you sighed. "Alright, (Y/N), if we can get you a guy who isn’t a fuckboy, would you finally go on a date?" Mina asked, looking all mischievous. "Why do I feel like you're plotting something?" you sighed, looking at Mina, tired of her antics.

You became a part of the infamous Bakusquad back in your first year at UA. You were in class 1A and Mina pretty much adopted your antisocial ass into the group. It wasn’t that you were introverted because you talked enough. It was just the fact that you were way too straight forward, to the extent that you sounded kinda rude. However, you tried to be a nice person in general. While it may come as a surprise, the only other person you were close to most in the group except Mina was Bakugou. That was probably because Bakugou respected your brutal honesty and the fact that you could shove reality on people's face without a second thought. Not to mention that Bakugou was quite fascinated by your quirk too. You were interested in Bakugou for the exact same reasons though you found him to be unnecessarily rude sometimes. With time, the two of you started having a thing for eachother, which was pretty much common knowledge within the class when you all reached your third year at UA. However, that's when everything went wrong. Bakugou had finally manned up enough to ask you out at the end of your third year and you made the mistake of hugging and calling him "the best FRIEND you can ever have" after he took you on a date. In your defence, he never mentioned that it was a date and you figured that the two of you were hanging out as friends. Hell, you didn't even know that he had a thing for you as both Bakugou and you were completely oblivious when it came to feelings. Unfortunately, Bakugou felt as if you completely and utterly friendzoned him at that moment, and stopped trying to win your affections and instead, went for random hookups while you were deeply saddened by your crush's sudden change and you pretty much stopped having a love life.

Did that stop the two of you from all the passive agressive flirting you threw at eachother? No, it did not. Infact, to both of your surprise, you two ended up hanging out quite a lot. Ofcourse, they always ended with a weird giddy feeling in both of your stomachs and blazing anger in your minds as the two of you pissed eachother off quite a lot. To be fair, Bakusquad was tired of you two pining on eachother for 9 whole years. They had no idea about Bakugou trying to ask you out at some point as Bakugou would never reveal a failed attempt at sonething. To Bakusquad, enough was enough. After all, who the fuck pines on eachother for 9 fucking years and not make a move? Ever since Kirishima and Mina got married to eachother, they had enough of your and Bakugou's shit. Like every other happily married couple, they decided with the squad that this time, they would finally set the two of you up together. Hence, it all led to them planning the entire thing out and you were now sitting at a reserved table at a fancy restaurant after taking a day off from hero work so that you could meet your mystery date. Did you know why you even agreed to this? Blame Mina for bribing you with the entire series of a very rare first edition of a manga signed by the author himself that you have been saving up for. You honestly expected it to be a rather boring date as you had no interest in being with a random dude and you were only here for the manga and the food. However, you did not expect that random dude to be Bakugou.

Did Bakugou expect to see you instead of some random woman sitting there on the table that Kirishima forced him to reserve for the so called date? No, he totally didn't. You looked as surprised as he did when he entered the restaurant and found you sitting there. This was one of the extremely expensive restaurants in Tokyo and Bakugou always chose the best even if it was some stupid worthless date because it was either classy with Bakugou or nothing. Upon realising the fact that none of you expected something like this, Bakugou felt the bad memories of him trying to date you years back plague him, drowning his self confidence to some extent which in return pissed him off. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Bakugou asked you with a scowl as he approached you. "Guess our idiot friends were trying to get us together." You sighed, motioning him to sit on the chair infront of you. "Fucking shitty hair..." Bakugou grumbled, not looking at you. "Mina lost her damn mind... Here I was looking for a loyal dude and she sent the Ground Zero who's specifically known to be a womanizer." you teased Bakugou, trying to ease up the gloomy mood. "Ya know, you could leave if this isn't your thing." Bakugou looked at you and stated with a scowl. "Meh, Mina bribed me enough to stay. Plus we didn't hang out in a while so it's a win win for me. I honestly thought I'll have to make a conversation with some random weirdo." you answered carefreely. "Did she bribe you with that rare first edition manga that you were obsessing over?" Bakugou asked, raising an eyebrow. "Guilty as charged" you answered, winking at him. Only if you knew that your action made him literally have butterflies in his stomach (something he would never admit).

Kirishima, Mina and Kaminari were hiding outside the restaurants, looking over at you and Bakugou by the window of the cafe. "Bakugou looks too constipated... Ya think we need to get to phase 2?" Kaminari asked. "Uh... I still don't think that's a good idea..." Kirishima tried to reason with the two weirdos beside him but Mina was already calling the cafe to prepare for the said 'phase 2' of the plan.

Bakugou was already uncomfortable about the entire thing from the begining but now that a random dude came at them with a violin and started playing some sappy romantic music, Bakugou was this close to losing his temper. It didn't take long for you to notice Bakugou's dilemma. "You wanna get out of here? Our friends clearly crossed the limit..." you asked him. Without any hesitation, he said, "Fuck... Fine, let's go." before he stood up and left the restaurant with you following him, leaving the violin man and the waiters confused as to why you left without your order even after you already paid for it. "Wow, that was intense." you laughed as Bakugou sulked about how shitty their friends are. "Well, how did they convince you to get here? Didn’t you tell enough interviewers that you 'don't do love'?" you asked Bakugou, teasing him though you were kinda curious. "Shitty hair asked me about what I'd do after I retire and said that I'll regret not giving love a chance so I decided to give it a shot." Bakugou grumbled without looking at you. Ofcourse he wasn’t gonna tell you that they got him into their trap simply by challenging him cause you'd tease him to death over it. "Oooo someone's growing up. Good for you." you answered him with a smile before continuing, "I guess I listened to Mina about this shit cause, well, I used to like this guy but it wasn’t mutual and I guess I wanted to forget about him for a while. I mean, I pretty much never had a love life so...". "Dude must be dumb. You're cool." Bakugou answered, not looking at you as the two of you entered a park that was nearby. "Nah, he's amazing. It's just, love isn't really his thing and I can't exactly change his views." you muttered sadly. "Well, he's still a dumbass." Bakugou huffed in answer. "Okay? I guess he really is a dumbass. I mean, I'm quite sure he came into this date cause Kaminari or Kirishima challenged him to and he actually thought I wouldn’t figure it out." you scoffed, looking away from Bakugou.

Bakugou's face was priceless. At first, he was pissed that you called him a dumbass but then it hit him. "You... You like me?" he choked out, looking shocked. "Well, wasn’t it obvious by now? Our friends set us up together and there was a weird dude playing violin. It seemed that Mina understood that I have a thing for you and did all that. Mina or Kirishima wouldn’t want me to be hurt as they are my friends and if you didn't like me, he wouldn’t set me up with you given that you have serious fuckboy tendencies. Well, it doesn’t really matter if I like you anyway cause you're not into long term shit." you answered his question with a sigh. "Ya know (Y/N), I only got into this fuckboy phase cause you rejected me once." Bakugou muttered. "Huh? When did I reject you? What are you talking about?" you asked, visibly confused. "Don't you remember that day at the end of third year? I took you out on a date to see that sappy ass movie together and you hugged me and friendzoned me?" Bakugou accused you. "That was a date?" you asked him with an incredulous expression. "Hah? You didn't realise that was a damned date?" Bakugou barked at you. "OFCOURSE I DIDN'T! YOU NEVER MENTIONED THAT IT WAS A DA..." Bakugou didn't let you complete that sentence as his lips were already on yours. After a kiss that took your breath away, he pulled away, leaving you completely flustered. "I'm not gonna date you if you're gonna fuck around." you stated, still out of breathe from the kiss. "Ofcourse I won't you dumbass! We are fucking official from now! Tf do you think I am?" Bakugou snapped at you? "Idk, you called yourself a dumbass a while back?" you teased him. "DIE!!!!" Bakugou barked at you to that.

"Well, I guess that worked?" Kirishima muttered as they were hiding in the park, watching Bakugou chase you with small explosions in his hands as you kept cackling with laughter, running from him. "Phase 2 never fails." Mina and Kaminari stated in unison with smug expressions as Kirishima looked back at them in disbelief.

[yoobikook]

you and @fluffyjoons I don't get your blogs. I thought you're one and the same person because you guys pose as edits content then fic recs blogs. which none of you are experts on because you have crappy comments and you seem to just read what other fic recs are reblogging at the moment. So which ones are you? Because the edits are not even good ones especially @fluffyjoons who just gets content from TWITTER, DOES NOT PUT SOURCES for her COPIED CONTENT and then use the wrong hashtags just to get attention. Like JUNGKOOK SMUT? REALLY? clogs my feed with your ridiculous content because I get suggestions for hashtags I'm following and that fluffyjoons or rather poserjoon just spams with their COPIED CONTENT. The HYBE Buff Entertainers joke she posted ? Search on twitter you'd see where she got it from. TWO OF YOU ARE JOKES.

Wow... firstly, I haven't posted content on this blog since a long time...I don't know if you have a pair of functioning eyes...but semi-hiatus is clearly written...so yeah Google it up if you don't know what that means :)

Secondly who told you that I am posting edits for your artistic eye? (Note the sarcasm lmao)

Thirdly, I'm gonna clear this once and for all @/fluffyjoons blog was created by me as @/dy-namjoon-ite ... It was then made into a grp blog...then I left it after making someone else the admin...so please contact them personally...

Fourth thing, posting some content which atleast brings a smile on the face of some people, is better than sending hate asks to content creators those too anonymously (you don't have the guts baby, grow up or shut up🤭).

Lastly, plz block me or send me your username so that I can do the honours myself, my content is not meant for you or else imma spam the tags just to annoy you...seems fun😂

And yeah, thanks for giving me something to post! <3

[arigatouiris]

out of my league // t.h — 05

Pairing: Tom Holland x Critic! Reader [I use female pronouns]

Warnings: swearing; eventual fluff; angst; hurt/comfort; pining; a little bit of cliche because come on.

A/N: I’m going along with the Mark Hamill thing, just for gags idk. Anyway, as for Aditi; I’m from India and I really don’t see a lot of representation on here, so I decided to add her as a side character. Hope ya’ll like this chapter~  Also, if you want me to add you to the series taglist, just drop a note or comment! ^^

Word count: 3171 

Series Masterlist

 04 | 05 | 06 

It came as a surprise to everyone a day after that when (y/n) decided to stick to the desk. Susannah even offered her another break (but, she was hesitant while doing so and blamed herself as the reason for which (y/n) declined), but (y/n) had made up her mind.

    “But why desk? I thought you hated the desk!” Susannah exclaimed, confused out of her mind.

    “Takes my mind off things. This is a vacation when compared to what I have to do otherwise.” (y/n) said, sheepishly.

    “You love reviewing though.” Bruce mumbled, but no one really paid heed to what he was saying.

    “Ever since Tom Holland made it easier for everyone around here to breathe, you should take that as a sign that you can get back to your normal life, (y/n). Maybe, even send him a thank you—”

    “I’m not sending him any thank you notes, he’s the reason everything began! He can’t create a problem and take credit for solving it.” (y/n) didn’t think she was being harsh.

Not doing this, she reminded herself. Turning on her heel, she headed to the desk she was appointed a few days ago and opened her mail. An exasperated sigh exited her lips when she noticed the odd number of mails, each containing a document for her to copy edit and review.

    She’d be lying if she said she didn’t at all feel thankful that Tom solved the issue with that one Instagram story. First, it took him that long to make it (which meant he went against what his manager said again, and who knows what trouble he got into for doing that?) What trouble can he get into? He’s an actor! (y/n) rolled her eyes as she continued her thoughts. Second, this was all his fault in the first place—considering how Jean Marcel is doing quite well writing crappy scripts for smaller TV shows at the moment. And third, (y/n) had had enough of an actor trying to win her over with his charm. Of course, some part of Tom Holland wanted to say sorry and thought it would work because he’s an actor. And an actor appearing on your doorstep is a big deal, as well! And some part of (y/n) wanted to accept such an apology only because Tom was a celebrity, and this didn’t sit well with her.

I’m out of his league, it had become a mantra now. I will never accept his apology. In the past, (y/n) was known to be someone who used the word ‘never’ a tad bit too much. Whether this aspect of her personality died down with age didn’t phase her at the moment. This was Tom Holland, an actor by profession, and a man who had screwed up otherwise.

    “So, are ya gonna thank the woman who showed you lovely Tom’s story yesterday?” Aditi’s voice appeared out of nowhere.

Rolling her eyes, (y/n) looked up from her desk to see a grinning Indian woman, her shades still on and her smile, rather annoying. Aditi was the personification of sass.

    “He’s not lovely Tom.”

    “That’s all you’re going to correct from that sentence? Wow, (y/n), you’re going soft on me.”

    “Aditi, what’s up?”

Taking her shades off, Aditi grumbled something before turning to her friend, “How’re you holding up?”

    “I’m better now.”

    “Like Post Malone?”

(y/n) turned to her computer, ignoring her statement, thus inevitably shooing her annoying friend away. Aditi laughed as she walked away, talking about Tom Holland being a savior. No one sees it, (y/n) thought to herself, feeling her ears turn pink. Everything that I had to go through, all those mails I had to read! If they knew even half of it, they’d know that Tom Holland isn’t to thank for here. I can’t believe that it has to be explained to them, she shut her eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. I won’t be doing the explaining. I’ve had it. I don’t want to ever associate myself with Tom Holland ever again.

    While it was surprising to everyone that (y/n) decided to stay back at the desk for the moment, it wasn’t as surprising as it was for (y/n) herself. She has always hated the desk for as long as she could remember; her first week at the job and she dreaded it and wanted out. Her confidence levels were booming then, she was an enthusiastic cutlet of pure passion, she wouldn’t let the desk mar her confidence in anyway from achieving what she truly wanted. However, now, especially after the internet fiasco, (y/n) had come close to giving up.

Mental exhaustion hit her harder than it ever did before; she never knew people were capable of such hate, such anger over something they didn’t clearly understand. If (y/n) wasn’t being existential, she was being cautious. People were a force of nature, and angering a crowd proved drastic for her. She always considered her job like surfing, it’s never a safe sport. However, even a surfer tends to take a break after almost drowning. But the breath of fresh air had hit her lungs, she had found her release and everything was slowly going back to their place—Tom was leaving her alone, and she could return to critiquing.

    (y/n) should be happy, but she felt nothing of the sort. She felt absolutely nothing. She felt nothing a lot these days, ever since the scandal; she’s cried a few times, but she mostly found herself feeling nothing, being nothing. She felt empty—as if whatever makes her feel and hurt has been surgically removed, leaving her hollowed out like a shell.

The mere mention of Tom did something to her; she would feel agitated, an uncontrolled force of ire would fill her veins. She didn’t know if this was for the actor, or the person or the entire ordeal that had taken place. She didn’t know if she was wrong in blaming only him, or being mad at only him—but from her shoes, he was all she could see. 

     It was as if someone could draw lines pointing toward what caused all these problems and all lines met at Tom Holland. In a way, she admired his strength. Just a few weeks of internet hate turned her into a hollow shell of who she used to be; Tom does this every single day. He couldn’t be who he wanted to be because he was a celebrity; all his shows and interviews were interviewing Tom Holland, the actor who played Spiderman and Lionel, and not Tom Holland, the person whose face turns red because of the weather.

However, she was not in any position to be empathetic to the perpetrator of her sorrow. Whether he wanted to or not, he had impacted her mental health more than adulthood had; and he had done it in a span of a few weeks. Less than what adulthood itself took. While comparing her sudden outbreak to adulthood, (y/n) understood that this pain was given the right credit. That the hurt she had been inflicted with demanded her response.

    She, therefore, could not forgive Tom Holland, the actor, the person, the phenomenon.

Even Tom Holland had his phone fall flat on his nose as he held it to his face in the dark as he was lying down. It didn’t matter to the phone that he was Tom Holland, gravity worked even if you’re attractive. 

Grumbling in pain, Tom immediately checked for any signs of blood spilling from his nostrils, and sighed in relief when there was none. Letting out a couple of coughs, and pushing one leg out of the corner of the blanket that was covering him, Tom was finally comfortable again. It was close to 2:30 a.m., but he couldn’t sleep. Tom always had trouble falling asleep, but he normally never let it embrace him like he did that night.

    His eyes scrolled through Google search, his tongue popping out in instinct, and his eyes landed on what he wanted to look for.

    Birds of a Feather — Review by (y/n) (l/n) | London Daily

He licked his lips instinctively before clicking on the link. He scrolled to her profile in the bottom and clicked on it (since he had already read the review multiple times since then). Tom was reading the script for a new advert he was sent electronically, till it was around 1 a.m., and it was after that when he tried sleeping. When he couldn’t, he browsed through Instagram for a bit, laughed at a few funny videos on cats and dogs, but all of this he was trying to do to avoid thinking of her.

    But, once he thought of her, she stuck around. He shut his eyes and breathed, recalling her face as she smiled at him, sitting across from him in the coffeeshop. He’d pictured over ten times on how that conversation would have gone if those girls hadn’t interrupted them. He’d wondered if she’d tell him more about herself, and he wondered if he could ask her why she didn’t follow him on Instagram (taking a careful moment there, because he didn’t want to seem creepy). He wondered if she’d smile at him often the way she normally smiled, and he wondered if she’d reserve a special smile only for him.

It was almost as if he was resisting all these thoughts by not thinking of her and thinking of everything else; but all else seemed mundane in front of her.

He recalled every single detail about her from that day in the coffeeshop. Her Emilia Clarke smile when he was surprised she drank her coffee black. Her laugh—oh goodness—her laugh. When he thought about the way she laughed, as though she owned the air around her, Tom’s heart thundered inside his chest, a symphony on its own.

    He looked at all the reviews she had written, over a 100 of them, and scrolled to the very first one. He could feel his heart beating as he was scrolling through her pages, almost as if he was doing something so secretive that he couldn’t let the world know yet. Tom wasn’t thinking and perhaps, a crush can do that to a person; where their body knows what the mind wants, and was working on finding out more and more and more about the person in question.

He found her Star Wars reviews, all of them stacked together. He slowly began reading each and every single one—some were not longer than 900 words, some critiques were over 2000. He absorbed the way she thought in some of the movies he’s also seen, and he wanted more. 

He searched for her name on Facebook after that and found her in one go, chuckling when he discovered that she hadn’t actually deactivated her Facebook account. He stalked her innocently, careful not to like anything, careful not to make it seem like he had tread on a path he wasn’t allowed. Tom almost felt like he was trespassing, but this didn’t harm anyone.

    She likes Star Wars, he thought before adorning a smile. He took a look at one of her status updates about Mark Hamill. If Mark Hamill ever replied to a tweet I made, I’d die. I’d just cry and die right then. Tom laughed, before scrolling past and seeing more of her. Here was a whole person, whose life was intertwined with an Instagram story he had put up.

    “I’ve met Mark Hamill, you know,” Tom said to absolutely no one. “He’s such a nice guy.”

And Tom fantasized all night over introducing her to Hamill, seeing her melt, or cry and die like she had written. Tom knew this was incredibly foolish of him to be thinking the way he was about someone he knew nothing about (of course, knowing she likes Mark Hamill didn’t count). Oh, but he wanted to. He wanted to know her. He wanted to ease things and not have this radio silence with her. He’s an actor, and there would be so many people he’d never ever meet, who desperately wanted to meet him. But this was perhaps the first time, where Tom desperately wanted to meet someone, and being an actor didn’t help.

    It was as if the tables were turned here. To him, (y/n) was now the celebrity, far out of his reach, pristine and wonderful, hardworking and gorgeous, close to ideal even—but one fact remained. Tom shut his phone and put it aside, noticing the time was close to 4 in the morning. She’s out of my league, Tom chuckled, before hoping to dream about her.

(y/n) woke up to her phone buzzing. It was several minutes before her alarm could wake her, but she was not complaining. She blinked a couple of times before checking her phone, and noticing that the message was from an unknown number. Sitting up, she held the phone in her hands and read through the message.

I hope everything is alright now. I sincerely hope you don’t have any more mails coming your way, bad ones. I’m sorry I can’t tell you this in person, for screwing up last time. Have a good day, (y/n). :) 

There’s a smiley in the end, she thought before frowning. She knew who it was from. She didn’t want to wake up with this being the first thing she saw. Sighing, she closed the messages app before getting on with her day. If he was expecting a reply, then her behavior was a clear giveaway. She was ghosting him. 

     It took her close to an hour to get ready, have breakfast and begin her journey to the office that morning. She liked how London was sunny that morning, and not gloomy like it was almost every other day. Just as she reached office, greeting people she knew with a nice smile, she spotted Aditi already waiting by her desk. Cocking an eyebrow at her friend, she hopping toward her to ask her what happened.

    “You won’t believe who called me to ask for your number,” Aditi said, smirking. “You most definitely won’t like who it is, but I’m warning you, be nice. You need to be. May the Force be with you.”

(y/n) rolls her eyes before whispering, “Was it Tom Holland?”

Aditi blinks like she heard her friend say the most idiotic thing possible. She scoffed and shook her head at (y/n)’s imprudence.

    “Oh, please! Why in the world would Tom Holland call a beat reporter? No, it was someone else that you don’t like and you’re going to need to be at your best—”

Almost as if on cue, (y/n)’s phone started to ring. Blinking at Aditi, she moved aside a bit, placing her bag on her desk and picked up the call.

    “Hello?”

    “(y/n)?” The voice sounded bored, almost as if she didn’t even want to be talking.

(y/n) felt all the energy leave her body when she identified the caller.

    “Jenny. What a pleasant surprise.” Robotic and not genuine.

    “Alright, so I don’t know what the whole deal is with you and Tom, but he sent me a rather sharp mail talking about how disappointed he was with the content I broadcasted on my show, and that I had to call you and apologize for slandering your name.”

    “He did?” (y/n) was confused.

    “Yes,” There was a sigh, “He did. And he was demanding so I had to call you. Why else would I call you?” Jenny didn’t have to explicitly state that she hated (y/n), all Jenny had to do was talk.

    “Thanks for calling, Jen. Keep up with the great work!” (y/n) faked enthusiasm, and heard Jenny groan before ending the call.

    “Jennifer fucking Campbell. I can’t believe it.” (y/n) breathed, letting out a laugh.

    “But, why did she want to call you?” Aditi asked.

(y/n) sighed. She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to tell Aditi that Tom had asked Jenny to call. Aditi’s response was already in order. She’d ask her friend to send Tom a thank you note or a bouquet or whatever it was that they’d send with thank you notes. (y/n) shrugged before dropping the topic and getting to her desk. She had decided to ghost Tom, and even a rather hilarious apology from Jenny wouldn’t do.

An hour later, (y/n)’s phone beeped. Taking a breather, she checked her phone to find she had a new follow request. Blinking, she clicked on the Instagram notification and groaned. A ‘tomholland2013’ had sent her a new request. What is he doing? She thought before declining it, and refreshing the page. A second later, there was another request. From Tom.

I am not doing this right now, she thought before ignoring the request; she felt her cheeks burn up, and a ghost of a smile was threatening to make its way up to her lips. She wouldn’t cave. No, she scolded herself before straightening her reaction. I am not doing this!

A moment later, she let out a squeak and covered her face with her hands. She could control her reactions, but her face was still quite warm. As much as she loved her ability to ignore unwanted people in her life, ignoring Tom Holland was a challenge.

    “What’s gotten into you?” Haz asked, petting Tessa on the head.

    “What do you mean?” Tom said, looking up from his phone, a smile still on his face.

Harrison pointed to Tom’s eerie smile, disgusted, “That. You’re smiling like a horse.”

Tom scoffed before muttering a ‘sod off’ and getting back to his phone. Haz blinked before looking at Harry and Sam, who were coming into the living room. Pointing to his friend, Harrison waited for Harry or Sam to respond on their own.

    “He’s been like this since last night.” Sam said, bored.

    “He’s been readin’, can you believe it? I even peeped into what he was looking at so intensely, but they were just words.” Harry said, shrugging.

Haz looked at Tom, who was ignoring the whole thing.

    “Could be smut.” Sam suggested.

Haz rolled his eyes, “He’s not reading porn, Sam.”

    “Whatever he’s readin’s sure making him smile like a fucking creep, that’s for sure.” Harry said, letting out a laugh.

Harrison let out a sigh. He looked at his friend and wondered. The only other time that Tom was out of wits was back in BRIT when he was obsessed with this other girl in class. The crush didn’t last very long, but similar signs were present back then—now grown in intensity. Haz nodded to himself once before minding his own business. The answers would come to him, as they always did.

It’s Tom. And he was Haz. It was meant to happen.  

series taglist:

@strangemaximoff, @aestheticgaybish, @noobmaster63, @why-are-all-the-teens-gay, @wonders-of-the-multiverse, @boushalaivre, @jackiehollanderr, @nerdypisces160, @yourwonderbelle, @quackson606, @stickyqueenbouquetsstuff, @fandoms-stuff, @danicarosaline

[matsislander-blog]

What are we?

“Would you be able to do an imagine of Josh Anderson!? Where him and the reader have had a crush on each other for a while so before or after a game he asks finally asks her to be his girlfriend in front of the team! Thank you in advance! ♥️♥️💙💙”

Here is the Josh Anderson imagine someone requested!! I really hope you like it :)

ALSO just pretend game 1 was in Columbus ok thanks

Words: 1297

Player: Josh Anderson 

Warnings: none, not edited 

You and Josh met during a night out in Columbus. It was right after they’d swept Tampa Bay out of the series and were celebrating their win at home. As soon as he’d walked in you noticed him. Tall, scruffy facial hair and very big. Your eyes were glued to him. The way his muscular arms looked in his black long sleeve was tight against his biceps, and the way one strand of hair dangled across his forehead. You were mesmerized. You hadn’t realized you’d been staring until he made eye contact with you from across the room, smirked and looked down. You quickly looked away and internally punched yourself in the face, you were so embarrassed. You took this time to try and get out of his line of vision and go get a drink. “What will it be?” asked the bartender. “Tequila shot please.” As you were waiting for your shot, Josh had come over and leaned against the bar and turned to you. “Hey” he said. “Hi” yo said shyly. God you really wanted to kick yourself for being such an idiot. “Were you checking me out?” he joked. “oh my god I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to stare I was just like looking into space” you said, clearly very embarrassed. “that’s too bad” Josh said, “I came over here to buy you and drink and ask for your number… but if you’re not interested….” he said as he smirked and went to turn away. You grabbed his arm, feeling very confident all of the sudden. “no, stay” you said. “I’d love a free drink.” you smirked.

After that night, you and Josh had become inseparable. You’d gone out on multiple dates, went to the movies, for dinner, you’ve even slept over at his place. But the only thing is, Josh had never asked you to be his girlfriend. You never wanted to ask, in fear of what his response would be, so you just kind of kept quiet. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Josh was talking to other girls, so he didn’t want anyone to hold him down. You were really starting to get paranoid and let your thoughts get the best of you. That was until Josh had asked you to come to his first game of round 2 against the bruins. You were ecstatic. You’d never been to a playoff game before, and being able to watch Josh play made it that much better. As you began to get ready for the game, there was a knock at your door. You walked towards your door, still dressed in your robe. When you opened it, you were surprised to see Josh standing there, all done up and dressed in his suit holding a bag. “Josh? I thought you’d already be at the arena by now?” you said. “I’m just on my way there, i brought you this. I thought maybe you could wear it while you’re there.” He said as he handed you the bag. You reached inside and pulled out a jersey reading “ANDERSON” on the back. “Wow, thanks Josh! I love it.” “make sure you wear it tonight, hopefully it’ll bring us luck.” Josh winked at you. “Ok, i gotta had down to the arena, I’ll see you there.” He said as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “Good luck tonight, I’ll be cheering you on.” You smiled up at him. You shut the door and leaned against it. This had to mean something didn’t it? If he wanted you to wear his jersey and people to see you wearing it, then you guys are obviously together, right? You tried to not think about it too much as you continued to straighten your hair, and get finish up your makeup. You decide to wear black jeans and black boots, along with your anderson jersey. As you were waiting for your uber, you began to get butterflies in your stomach. You were so excited to watch Josh play, but were so nervous because you really didn’t know what was going on between you two. As you finally got into your uber and made your way down to Nationwide, all of the excitement began to set in. You got into the stadium and found your seat, waiting for the game to start. The game was rough. Boston scored in the first period and you let out a huge sigh. As the first period came to an end, you were really hoping the Blue Jackets could come back. Josh had the puck and went to shoot, but unfortunately missed. This made you feel pretty upset, but you really had faith in them. As the third period began, you were praying for a goal. You didn’t care who it was, you just wanted them to at least tie it up, and thankfully they did. Columbus was then up 2-1 and you couldn’t contain how happy you were. You were really going to get to see Josh win and be so happy after his game. You were on a high, acting like you were on the damn team or something. When Boston came back and tied it again, you were so annoyed. How could they just come back and score can’t they just like not or something?? You thought to yourself. The game went into overtime and you were freaking out. You needed Josh to win this. You wanted him to be so happy and wanted everything to work out for him. When the Bruins scored the overtime goal, you were so upset. You were upset for the team, the fans, but mostly Josh. You really didn’t know how he’d react after this.

When the game had come to an end, you went down to the change room to wait for Josh. You were getting anxious as you didn’t know what to expect after the loss. You knew he’d be upset, but what if he was angry, or didn’t want to see you after the game? Those thoughts came to an end when you looked up from your phone and saw Josh. He was walking towards you with a small smile on his face. “Hi” he said quietly. “Hey, sorry I couldn’t bring you any luck tonight.” you softly joked. He gave a small laugh. “Not your fault, I’m glad you waited for me thought.” Your heart starting beating faster. You tried to hide your big smile. The two of you began to walk to Josh’s car, when he took your hand in his. You looked up at him and smiled. “I’ve been thinking,” said Josh. Oh no, this is it, you thought to yourself. He’s probablly gonna end it and drop me off at home and I’m gonna look like such an idio- “(y/n)?” Josh asked. “oh sorry, yeah what’s up?” you said, trying to bring yourself back to the conversation. “I really like you, having you here at the game made me so much more excited than I thought it would. Even though we lost, like.. I still couldn’t wait to come out and see you after.” He said, shyly looking away. “I really like you too, Josh” You smiled at him. Thank god, you thought to yourself. “So…. then you’re my girlfriend?” He asked, kind of embarrassed. “If i have to be” you said jokingly. “No, I’d love to be” you said to him. As you reached his car, he opened the passenger seat for you. He looked at you and smiled, then leaned in and gave you a soft kiss on the lips. As he shut the door and began walking to the drivers side, you gave a small squeal and smiled so big. You finally got the answer you were hoping for.

[ladywinchester1967]

Shape of My Heart:

Chapter 1

Pairing: (eventually) Billionaire!Jensen Ackles x Allie Edwards (OFC) 

Warnings: None for this chapter, mostly swearing. 

A/N: This is the start of a BRAND NEW series!! I hope you guys enjoy! As always, unbeta’d, all mistakes are mine, pics are not. DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and we’ll pretend Jensen is single okay? Okay? Cool.

“Thanks again,” the blonde, Sandy or was it Mandy, said as Jensen walked her to the door “if you ever want to hang out again.” She added and slipped a napkin into his pocket.

“Thanks.” He said with a grin as he held the door open for her. She stretched up to her tip toes, kissed his cheek and then left down the hallway. Jensen shut the door behind her and looked at the napkin she’d stashed in his pocket. It had her name, Andi, and her phone number written on it. Jensen let a half grin cross his face as he chucked the napkin into the trash and went back to his laptop.

His brother often gave him a hard time about how much he worked, but since he was seventeen, that’s all he’d known. Work, have a little fun on the side, work some more, occasionally sleep, drink good whiskey...what else could there possibly be? Sure, his brother had married his high school sweetheart and they had three kids together.

Jensen poured himself a glass of the whiskey beside him and took a few sips before clicking away on his laptop. Alone with his thoughts, he gave Andi a second thought. Sure, she was sweet, but kind of slow on the uptake and not particularly funny. The sex had been okay, nothing to really write home about. He sighed and downed the rest of the whiskey as his phone made a ping sound. He flipped it over and saw a notification for a dating website.

“The hell?” He asked as the gears in his head turned, since when was he on a dating website? The memory clicked into place, Jared, his best friend, had done it as a joke six months ago. He’d get the notifications every once in a while but he usually ignored them. Out of boredom, he read the notification.

You have a match! Come and see who is waiting to connect with you!

Jensen rolled his eyes, but swiped to see who this person was. Once the app opened up, he had a list of matches but at the top was his most recent one.

Allie Edwards, 88% match

He couldn’t see her picture very well, so he tapped her profile and a picture of a redhead wearing a grey top and black pants and smiling popped up. Jensen tapped the picture and a bigger version of it popped up. She had a round face, big blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. He went to the next picture and it looked like someone had caught her off guard. She was looking to the side, clearly engrossed at whatever she was watching and slightly smiling.

Jensen’s heart hammered in his chest as he looked at the other pictures and then read her profile.

Allie2040

Age: 30

Height: 5’3”

Currently Resides: Dripping Springs, TX

A little on the young side, he thought with a frown, but there was something about her that captivated him. Her eyes were as blue as sapphires with a hint of green in them and she had a hint of mischief in her smile. He sighed and put his phone to sleep and decided he would do what he always did before making a final decision; sleep on it and if he was still thinking about it in the morning, then he would make a move.

Two Months Earlier......

“Come on Allie,” Natalia said “it'll be fun!”

Allie Edwards was seriously doubting her friends idea of fun. What had started out as a girl's night in had turned into her best friends, Natalia and Trish, trying to talk her into online dating.

“I can get a date on my own if I really wanted one.” Allie reminded them as she sipped on her wine.

“It could be fun ya know,” Trish said “which I love you and all, but you’re seriously lacking. I’m making you a profile.”

“Trish, don’t you dare!” Allie exclaimed.

“Too bad, all ready done.” Trish said as she threw her long blonde hair up into a bun and started to type “You're what? Five two?”

“I'm five three, why is that relevant?” Allie asked.

“It asks for height,” Trish said “the rest of this I know, now we just have to figure out what you like in a man.”

“Tall, dark and handsome.” Natalia teased.

After about an hour, the girls had put together a profile for Allie along with a few pictures of herself. Allie rolled her eyes, there was no way that this was going to work. Since her last serious relationship, she didn't really date, guys her age only seemed to want to hook up, which was fine and dandy every once in a while, but being someone's permanent hook up wasn't on her list of ideal scenarios. Finding someone she liked and wanted to be with for more than a few dates seemed to be the challenge.

  Present Day

“No, one more bad date and I’m deleting my profile.” Allie said. After two months of being on the site, Cupid's Arrow, she'd gone on four dates and all of them hadn't panned out into anything she considered fun. Bachelor 1 couldn't keep his eyes off her chest, Bachelor 2 couldn't kiss worth a damn, Bachelor 3 seemed disinterested the second that they met and ended up leaving the bar with another woman, finally Bachelor 4 never showed.  

“What about this guy?” Trish asked “He sent you a message.”

Allie looked at her phone and saw the screen name JAustin78

Hey, how are you? Was all the message said

She clicked on his profile, which didn’t have a picture on it.

“What’s it say?” Natalia asked

“I’m reading his profile.” Allie said

JRAustin78

Age: 41

Height: 6’1”

Currently Resides: Austin, TX

“I’m answering for her,” Trish said as she began to type “because I know she won’t do it.”

“Give that back!” Allie said and snatched the phone back from Trish, who had all ready replied

I’m great, how are you?

“I hate you.” Allie told Trish.

Natalia made a grabbing hands motion and seized the phone from Trish and read over the guy's profile.

“He doesn't say much on here other than he's an entrepreneur.” She pointed out “Likes golf, baseball, brewing beer, sounds interesting.”

“He doesn't even have a profile picture,” Allie said, pulling a face “he's probably not even attractive.”

“He messaged back!” Natalia exclaimed.

“Let me see, let me see!” Trish said and she scrunched in close to Natalia and they both read the message.

“He says he's great too and, oh wow.” Trish said “he says he thinks you're beautiful.”

“He did not,” Allie said and snatched the phone from the girls “he probably said something benign like “how's your day going?” or some other bullshit.” She read over the message, which said

I'm great too, hope you're having a good day. I hope this isn't too forward, but I think you are a beautiful girl and I'd love to get to know you.

“He wants to get to know me?” she asked “Is that normal?”

“Well, how else do you decide if you like someone?” Trish asked “Read their mind?”

“If I could do that, I'd be living in a cave in the middle of the Rockies by myself.” Allie retorted, mulling the message over. Okay, so he found her attractive, nothing new on this site, but the message seemed polite enough. “What should I do?” she asked the girls.

“Well do you want to get to know him?” Natalia asked

“I mean I guess,” Allie told her “I wanna know what he looks like though.”

“He'll probably send you a picture.” Trish insisted “Reply to him!”

“What do I say?!” Allie asked

“Tell him what you just told us.” Natalia said.

Allie sighed and typed

Well, thank you, that's very sweet of you. I'd like to get to know you too but I feel like I'm talking to a ghost, why don't you have a picture?

She showed the message to her friends and Trish frowned

“Don't say it like that.” She said and grabbed the phone, editing the message. Natalia put her two cents in and then they showed Allie the edited reply.

Thank you, that's very sweet of you! I want to get to know you too; so you live in Austin? What do you like to do there?

“You're not gonna ask about his lack of profile picture?” Allie asked

“We'll get to that,” Trish said “but for right now, just ACTUALLY get to know him.”

Allie rolled her eyes and she watched as his reply came through

My friends and I are huge music fans, so we always got to Austin City Limits which is a music festival (if you've never heard of it), we also like to go on pub crawls and check out local artists. What about you? What do you do for fun?

Allie reported what he had said and Natalia answered

“Well, tell him what you do for fun.”

Allie typed her reply

Not much, I don't really have a lot of free time since I work all the time. But when I do have some time, I like to go to wine and beer tastings with my friends, and I teach a ballet class for little kids.

The messaging between them went on like this for hours, talking to him was actually interesting, he was quick witted, charming and genuinely funny. Allie couldn't remember the last time she had actually enjoyed talking to a guy this much. As her bedtime loomed closer, she yawned and typed

It's getting late and I'm gonna call it a night.

He was quick to reply, as he had been all night

Same here, I have an early tee time with my friends tomorrow. It was great talking to you.

Allie smiled and wrote back

Likewise, if you want, I'll give you my number and we can text instead of messaging on the app.

It took a second for him to reply, but when he did, the message came through.

Sure, I'd like that very much. Looking forward to talking to you again.

Allie quickly typed her phone number into the message app, and a few seconds later, a text came through.

Hey, the text read it's Jay.

Allie quickly made a contact for him in her phone and then replied.

Awesome, good luck on the golf course tomorrow.

She watched as the dots indicating that he was typing popped up, then his reply came through.

Thank you, can I call you when I'm done?

Allie's heart hammered, was she ready to have an actual voice on voice conversation with him? Her mind whirled with the possibilities, their texting banter had been great, hilarious at times. She bit her lip, her mind doubting it, but her heart was ready to burst in her chest.

I'd like that a lot actually, I'll just be running around doing errands, so you can call me whenever.

He replied and said

Looking forward to speaking with you, good night beautiful ;)

She grinned and wrote back

Good night to you too ;)

The next day, Allie was on pins and needles as she waited for Jay's phone call. She went about her business, getting some groceries and checking her phone more often than she normally did so as not to miss his call. She groaned at herself and shoved her phone back into her purse.

“God, I'm like a thirteen year old girl all over again.” she mumbled to herself.

Once she was back home and had unloaded her groceries and put them away, she started some laundry and had Game of Thrones on in the background when the phone finally did ring. Jay's name popped up on the caller ID as her mouth went dry and her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest. She swallowed and swiped to answer.

“Hello?” she asked

“Allie? Hey, it's Jay.” a baritone voice answered.

Jesus H Christ, he even sounds attractive she thought

“Hey!” She greeted him cheerfully “How was your golf game?”

He groaned and said

“I sucked today honestly,” he said “played a hundred today.”

“Oh, so the higher the score the worse you play?” she asked

“Yes, that's correct, I normally play somewhere in the eighties.” he told her “What about you? Having a good day so far?”

“Yeah,” she said as she sat on the couch and paused her episode “ran a couple of errands and now I'm just doing some laundry and watching reruns of Game of Thrones.”

“Oh, you're a fan too huh?” he asked.

“Die hard fan,” she told him “my brother got me into it and I've been hooked ever since.”

He chuckled and said

“Me too, a friend got me into it and I binged watched the first two seasons.”

They talked about nothing in particular, just idle chatter, but Allie was actually enjoying it. He was even funnier on the phone than he had been via text.

“So, I have to ask,” she told him as she poured herself a glass of wine “why don't you have a profile picture?”

He groaned and said

“Because I didn't actually set up that profile, my friend Jared did it as a prank and I never checked it out until the other day when I got matched with you.”

“No shit, really?” she asked “Because I didn't set up my profile either, my best friends did it.”

“Well at least they included pictures,” he said “numb nuts Jared forgot and I never fixed it.”

Allie laughed, which had become Jensen's new favorite sound.

“They picked the pictures,” Allie told him “I had little to no input on my profile.”

“Even without it, they made a good one.” Jensen said.

Allie blushed and looked at the clock on her stove, they'd been talking for two hours without her noticing it.

“Wow, we've been on the phone for two hours!” she exclaimed

“Really?” Jensen asked “I can't remember the last time I was on the phone for two hours for something that didn't involve work.”

They both laughed and Allie asked

“So, what would be the chances of us meeting and, I don't know, having dinner or something?”

Jensen was immediately on board, he really, really liked this girl.

“I'd say one hundred percent,” he told her “I'd love to meet you and take you out.”

“I'm teaching my ballet class this Friday, but that ends at four, I'm free after that if you want to do something.” she told him.

“Hold on,” he said “I want to make sure I'm free before I agree.”

He put her on speaker phone and checked his schedule, the weekend she mentioned was open on his calendar. “I'm free,” he told her “I thought the conference I was going to was this weekend, but it's next weekend.”

“Conference huh?” she asked “Sounds official.”

“And boring,” he added “Very, very boring.”

“Well, at least you'll have something to look forward to this weekend before the boring stuff next week.” she reminded him.

“You're right,” he said “and I am looking forward to meeting you.”

“So Friday?” she asked “Say around six thirty or seven?”

“Sounds perfect,” he said “anywhere in particular you'd like to go?”

“We can pick a place when the date gets closer,” she told him “I can barely think about what I want to eat for dinner tonight, let alone a week in advance.”

He chuckled and said

“Okay, that sounds good. I'm about to eat dinner, but I'll talk to you later okay?”

“I'd like that,” she told him as she took another sip of wine “talk to you later Jay.”

“Bye for now Allie.” he said and they hung up.

Allie's stomach erupted with butterflies and a huge grin broke out across her face; she decided that at this point it didn't matter what Jay looked like, she already had a crush on him.

Jensen, meanwhile, was grinning from ear to ear. Their phone conversation had been enlightening and he realized that he liked this Allie girl a lot more than he had previously anticipated.

“I'm in trouble with this one.” he said as he walked down the stairs to his kitchen. He quickly pulled up her profile and looked at her pictures one more time, smiling again.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hope you guys enjoyed the first installment of this series, I’m not sure how long or short it will be, but if you want to be on the tag list for this (or even on my forevers) let me know! My boxes are always open!

​The Squad:

@waywardbaby​​​​​​​ @waywardnerd67​​​​​​​ @familybusinesswritingbro​​​​​​​ @ain-t-bovvered​​​​​​​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​​​​​​​ @unholyqu33n​​​​​​​ @dacleverfox​​​​​​​ @emoryhemsworth​​​​​​​ @bobasheebaby​​​​​​ @myinconnelly1​​​​​​​ @mogaruke​​​​​​​ @imma-winchester-addict​​​​​​​​ @purpleskiesandcherrypies​​​​​​​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​​​​​​​ @animerose96​​​​​​​​  @roonyxx​​​​​​​​ @snffbeebee​​​​​​​​ @ezilyamuzed​​​​​​​​ @srsllydunnodoncare​​​​​​​​ @latetothewinchesterparty​​​​​​​​ @emilyshurley​​​​​​​​ @atc74​​​​​​​​ @midnightsilverafterdark​​​​​​​​ @adoptdontshoppets​​​​​​​​ @biawol​​​​​​​​  @spaceystacey123​​​​​​​​ @bella-ca​​​​​​​​ @clo-heda​​​​​​​​ @closetspngirl​​​​​​​​ @thekatherinewinchester​​​​​​​​ @maddiepants​​​​​​​​ @idreamofplaid​​​​​​​ @love-those-boys-in-flannel​​​​​​ @flamencodiva​​​​​​ @blueberrykushlovexoxo-blog​​​​ @sandlee44​​​​ @tumbler-tidbits​​ @rainbowsinthestorm @deans-baby-momma​ @algud

Dean/ Jensen:

@spnbaby-67​​ @akshi8278​​ @deanscarlett​​​​​ 

[uglypastels]

The Origin - Peter Parker  (1/2)

(a/n) This story if for @starksparker 10k writing challenge (congratulations and wow, you’re awesome!! <3) The prompt I chose was: #80 - “I like that color on you”.  I hope it’s as much of a joy to read as it was to write. 

I also want to give a big (like galaxy sized) shoutout to @andwhatdostarsdobest for helping/editing the shit out of this. Thank you for making this story readable. 

word count: 9927 

warning: cursing, sick Peter (so maybe angsty idk), fluff, some horrible jokes and references. 

The story ended up becoming much longer than I had anticipated. So stay tuned for part 2!!

“When do you think they will finally let us go home?” Peter heard the whispers behind him. He looked at his watch. It was around 2 o’clock. There was still two hours to go until the end of the trip. He had the urge to answer the question but knew it wasn’t directed toward him.

The girls behind him kept giggling, he wished they would shut up so he could hear the lab guide better.

“Hey, shut it.” Another voice spoke up from the crowd.  Peter, was, for a moment, convinced it was his voice but no, it couldn’t be, it was too high,  And it came from behind him. His eyes, which had been glued to the guide for most of the lecture, wandered off to the side where they landed on (Y/N). She was clad in her usual oversized sweater, fading into the crowd of bored teenagers. Her backpack casually hanging off one shoulder. The girls she had been talking to rolled their eyes and started laughing as they walked away to the side of the group. (Y/N) fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater, pulling them down over her hands. She had been staring hard at the ground, but when she lifted her head, her gaze pierced right through Peter. It’s a weird sensation sensing someone watching you, Peter was sure that’s why she hadn’t looked him in the eyes. Not wanting to make her uncomfortable he mustered a half-smile before returning his gaze to the guide.

They had been sharing lessons ever since their enrollment at  Midtown High. Except for the conventional ask for a pen, they had never really talked much. In freshman year they did a project together for biology class, but in the age of Google Drive and shared documents, they barely needed to talk.

Still, Peter couldn’t help but feel intrigued by the girl. She had this something about her that made Peter want to get to know her. That something had always been there, nagging at the back of his mind whenever he saw her but each time his nerves got the better of him.  Peter mentally cursed himself for his anxiety

“Here at Oscorp Lab, we have spent many years trying to find out as much as we can about Vita Radiation,” the guide said,  moving to the side where a big window of, what Peter assumed to be, thick bulletproof glass,  separated them from a group of scientists in radiation suits.

“Our highest priority in this research has always been to try and recreate Erskine’s infamous Project Rebirth, of which you may have heard of in your history class-”

“-wasn’t that done in secret and illegally?” Michelle’s voice broke out from the back of the group. Their guide stared blankly at the group of teenagers before breaking out into an exasperated smile, disregarding Michelle’s accusation and continuing his story.. Peter snorted at the situation.

________________________________________

Half an hour later than planned, the group was finally standing on the steps leading to and away from the labs. Peter sat down on one of the higher steps, further away from the rest of the class. It would still be another minute or five before the bus would get there. He sighed, looking down at his fellow students... most of whom were on their phones. Joining them, Peter pulled his phone from his pocket and started scrolling mindlessly through his apps. There weren’t any notifications for him to check, so what else could he do?

A high pitched scream penetrated the silence, capturing his attention. A  few laughs followed. Peter’s gaze shifted from the screen in front of him. People were laughing even harder now, as the yelps and little screams continued. He scrambled up to get a better look. (Y/N) was stood a few steps below, moving vigorously, her arms flapping wildly around her as if she was trying to shake something off... It looked like she needed help.

Peter rushed down the stairs to help her, arriving just in time to catch her. Her chaotic movements had caused her to lose her balance and teeter dangerously close to the edge of the step... He reached out pulling her back before any harm was done.  Peter was a humble guy but he couldn’t help but expect some kind of thank you, even if it was only small. Instead, she whimpered, “gerroff! Gerroff!” He didn’t understand what she was saying until he noticed something in her hair. It was small, but the color contrasted deeply with her hair.

“Wait! Stand still,” he instructed. (Y/N) stopped moving. Her lip was quivering slightly, her hands shaking. Peter reached out to the strand of hair in which the small spider was hanging. He hated spiders, but that only made him understand (Y/N)’s reaction even more and he was determined to help her out.

Fighting back his own fears, he tried to keep his hand steady as possible. The creature scuttled up and down, causing (Y/N) to close her eyes and stiffen up. She bit down hard on her lip, attempting to hold in her brewing screams, and Peter was pretty sure she was holding her breath too.

Peter tried getting the spider one more time. He stepped a little closer and cupped the eight-legged abomination in his hands. When he stepped away, he saw all the muscles in her body relax.

“Thank you,” the words came out a mere whisper. They were looking at each other for a few seconds until Peter remembered that he could talk.

“Yeah, no problem” he breathed out a smile, “I- ouch! Oh shit!” A pain erupted from his hand and shot through his whole body. (Y/N)’s relief had made him completely forget about the spider encased in his palm. The spider was sick of being stuck in his grip too, apparently, because when he opened up his hands he saw the arachnoid poised in the middle... A red circle surrounding it. He looked at it in shock. The bastard had actually bitten him?! Was he going to die? Every possible outcome rushed through his mind, none of them resulting in a happy ending. How would he tell Aunt May? She would be so mad if he died on a school field trip. Nausea coursed through him and his head felt light. He couldn’t tell if it was from the bite or the prospect of his furious aunt. The spider twitched on his palm, making his skin itch. Without thinking, he shook his hand. The spider fell off and disappeared from view. Peter searched, but couldn’t see it anywhere. That’s what he always hated the most about spiders, the way they could roughly vanish into thin air. He felt very uneasy knowing it could be anywhere.

“Are you okay?” The soft voice brought him back. His eyes meeting (Y/N)’s.

“Huh? Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” he paused thinking of the right words, not wanting to stir panic within her, “are you okay? you almost fell and you know...”

“Yes, I’m good. Thank you, again,” she blushed. Peter thought she looked really cute. The way her cheeks had this soft pink glow against hair fair skin. “But didn’t it bite you?” She raised her eyebrow. Peter hoped she hadn’t seen that. He pulled down the sleeve of his sweater so it would cover his hand. “Nah, I’m fine.”

“So, what was that ouch all about.” There was an amused expression on her face. Peter wanted to say something, but no words came out. After a while, he stammered out, “cramp.”

“Cramp?” she scoffed, clearly not believing any of it. Peter nodded to try and assure her this was the case. The sound of screeching wheels below interrupted the awkward conversation. The two of them looked down at the bottom of the steps where the giant yellow school bus had just rolled to a stop. Peter wanted to get away from the confrontation so he started making his way downstairs, walking fast, faces passed. Peter hummed the piano melody when somebody called out his name, in some way or another…

“Hey, Penis Parker!” Flash yelled out from above him. Peter stopped and turned around. “Do you want your stuff?” Flash was standing next to his backpack.

“Oh, yeah, thanks, Flash.” He was walking up to meet him, but Flash had other plans.

He picked up Peter’s bag and practically yeeted it down at his owner. There was a $200 graphic calculator in it and aunt May would most likely kill him if he broke it. Fearing Aunt May’s wrath, Peter jumped up trying to catch it. His usually horrible reflexes gone as he grabbed it just in time. Another shot of pain rushed through him. Why did he have to catch it with that hand? He almost dropped the backpack as his whole arm went numb from pain.

“Oh right, totally fine,” he heard (Y/N) mumble from the bottom of the stairs. She rolled her eyes and headed off for the bus. Feeling defeated and a bit humiliated, Peter stayed behind, frozen on the steps. There was this feeling at the bottom of his stomach. This mix of nervous nausea and general sickness feeling his guts.

Peter could feel the ground underneath him shake as the rest of his classmates walked to the bus as well. Ned walked up to him, “at least you tried.” Ned gave him a little pat on the shoulder and more uncomfortable sensations littered throughout his body. They felt like ten thousand knives stabbing him in the shoulder, traveling all the way to his fingertips. He had to hold in a groan and the few tears collecting in his eyes.

Ned turned around to look at Peter when he realized his best friend wasn’t walking behind him. “Pete, let’s go.”

“Yeah, okay.” But Peter didn’t move. Ned had to get up the stairs again and drag Peter down himself.

“You’re pathetic, you know that?” Ned said as he grabbed him by the arm. More pain flushed through Peter. Through slightly gritted teeth, he managed to say: “Yeah, I know.”

They made their way over to the bus, the last ones to get inside. Ned walked ahead of Peter, finding his way to their usual seats. Peter would normally join him, but his legs were buckling beneath him. He fell into the first seat he reached and sank against the window. The cold glass cooled down his now boiling face. It also sent chills down his spine. He was sure his body temperature would break a thermometer, and the pain was spreading from his arm to his chest and right through to his feet. Maybe he was really dying. All those jokes he made were coming to bite him in the ass. He definitely didn’t feel so smarmy now. Everything hurt so much.

His painful thoughts had to be interrupted when his whole body started to shake. Oh, he was having a seizure? Why not. Only he wasn’t, because he heard a voice: “Peter, Peter!” Two hands gripped his shoulders. Peter groaned, pain bursting into him again, as he opened his eyes. When did he even close them?

“What?” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. His arm ached with every small movement. He could feel someone looking at him.

“You have to get up unless you want to stay on the bus for the whole night.” It was Ned. Chuckling. Peter didn’t understand, but then he looked out the window and saw that the bus was standing in front of the school. How? When? Did he fall asleep? Did he already die and this was heaven… no, this was school - he was in hell!

Very slowly, he managed to pull himself up, the pain not subsiding for even a moment. Cold sweat pooled at his forehead and begun to trail down it in small, uneven lines.  The feeling was so intense as his entire body began to shiver. One of his knees was shaking so bad that he almost fell over. If it wasn’t for Ned catching him, he would have hit his face in the seat of the bus bench.  

“Are you okay?” Ned asked, still holding on to him. Peter pulled himself together. Clearing his dry throat, he managed to make out: “Yeah, yeah, just a bit sick.”

He picked his backpack up from the seat next to him. Stupidly using that hand again. Ned was still looking at him, so Peter bit his lip and pushed through it. He pulled the backpack over his shoulder, it still hurt but not so intensely as his hand. Ned gave his friend a concerned look. Peter just smiled through his pain. Yes, just smile while you feel like you’re being skinned alive. Just like any other day. Except it’s much worse. So, so much worse.

His internal monologue almost blocked out Ned’s voice. Peter could see his lips move and he knew there were words coming out of them, but everything just sounded like an air horn. His head hurt. Not getting any answer, Ned walked away, glancing back at Peter a few times before leaving the bus. Peter was now the only one left in the vehicle. Even the driver had gotten out, probably ready to smoke a cigarette after a full day driving around teenagers.

Step by step, he made his way outside, clinging onto anything he could to steady himself. Immediately, he was blasted by the sun, and a blistering feeling covered his corneas. Since when was it so bright in New York? He almost tripped, forgetting the last step. Thankfully, there was nobody around him to bear witness to that.  Nobody to see him walk clumsily to the subway station, reminiscent of a Walker from the Walking Dead. Granted, he received a few strange looks from the people on the subway, but Peter had the feeling they had seen stranger things… oh, at least now he knew how Will Byers felt all through season 2. Was the spider possibly from the Upside Down? Was Oscorp a real-life Hawkins Lab? Were they also trying to make a passageway to another dimension? It all made sense...all those weird alien things attacking New York for the past few years… they were just Demogorgons and whatnot.

Peter almost missed his stop. He was falling asleep again. The conspiracy theory about his favorite Netflix show becoming a bit too much for his last two working brain cells, but he knew he had to get back home. If he didn’t, things might end up getting much worse. The doors of the subway slid open and he urged himself forward, head rush hitting as soon as he moved. But by some miracle, he managed to weave past the other commuters and stumble onto the platform... Next followed a walk of thirty minutes which usually took him about ten. Most of the delay was caused by his tempo, his legs hurt too much to keep up his normal speed, but there were a few occasions in which Peter just simply took a wrong turn and almost ended up on the other side of the city. On a few occasions, he actually walked into a dark alley on purpose, his eyes couldn’t take the firing sunbeams anymore. These were all signs, he knew it - death was upon him.

Finally, at his own door. He swallowed, hard, trying to muster the strength to search for his keys. None came. Instead, he weakly knocked on the door, waiting for May to open it. His face felt like a juxtaposition, hot and cold all at once. His knees were now shaking at the weight of the rest of his body and his arms hung heavy by his side. The only thing that was missing was Aunt May’s spaghetti. Yes, this is definitely the time to make horrible jokes. While you are dying in the corridor. If he had the power, he would have kicked himself. Thankfully, the door swung open.

Aunt May appeared in front of him. The smell of her walnut meatloaf perforated the apartment and now the corridor, filling Peter’s nostrils and he was this close to throwing up. It wasn’t even because of the meatloaf, even if it was always a catastrophe, it was more the change for his senses that caused it. The difference in smells made his head spin and his stomach turn.

Aunt May had not been paying attention to the state of her nephew. Peter assumed she was rummaging in the key bowl next to the door. He could hear the tingling of metal in porcelain. The high-pitched noises left a ringing sound in his ears.

“Did you lose your key again? I swear, Pete-” May’s last words faded at the sight of him once she finally looked in his direction. Peter knew he must look horrible. The right word was probably “dead”. He looked dead. At least that is how he felt.

“What’s wrong with you?” She pulled him inside as Peter tumbled into the apartment, his legs giving up on him. If it wasn’t for May, he would have fallen to the ground, face first. She grumbled as she tried to keep him up and steady. Securing her arms around his waist, she managed to direct Peter to the couch, which he fell onto immediately. His eyes closed the moment his head touched the pillow. He couldn’t wait for sleep to properly hit him now.

He could feel a blanket being wrapped around him and a cool hand touching his forehead. It felt amazing. For the last few minutes, he had been feeling like he was stuck in a sauna. He could hear May’s voice in the distance, even though she was right next to him. “Oh Pete, you’re burning up,” May’s concerned voice echoed in his head. He just groaned in agreement. Unconsciously he pulled the sleeve even more over his bitten hand, attempting to hide it from May. He felt the weight of the couch change, telling him that his aunt was now sitting on the other side. There probably wasn’t much space left for her, as he could feel the opposite arm with his feet. May tried to pull his legs up to place them gently on her lap, not wanting to cause Peter anymore discomfort. Except, when his limbs moved, more pain shot through him and Peter practically yelled out in agony. May dropped them in surprise, causing another surge to race through Peter.

“Peter?” there was no real question asked, so he didn’t respond. His eyelids were so heavy now that he couldn’t even blink them open. He didn’t know when, but at some point, he finally fell asleep.

________________________________________

When he woke up, Peter couldn’t move. His barely existent muscles were fiery from the intense pain. Breathing had to be kept to a minimum because heaving his chest hurt too much. His head was throbbing. He could practically feel his brain pulsing, each and every beat adding to his miserable state. His clothes felt drenched from the cold sweat.

There was a knock on the door. Without thinking, Peter answered weakly with a, “come in.” But wasn’t he in the living room? Why would he answer that? He opened his eyes. Above him was not the grey ceiling under which he fell asleep. Instead, he saw the bottom of his bunk bed. How did he get to his own room?

The door of his room opened. Peter closed his eyes again, the glare from the light on the bedside table was too bright for his eyes. It was too painful. Footsteps approached him, they were heavy, definitely not Aunt May’s. The voice that accompanied the steps, verified Peter’s speculations.

“Hey, buddy.” Uncle Ben bowed down to sit next to him on the bed. The switch of the weight in the mattress made Peter shift a bit, causing a wave of pain to run through his ribs. It wasn’t as bad as before, but a small cry still left his lips. He made another attempt at opening his eyes. The light still agitated him, but he worked through it. Soon enough, he saw the broad shape of his uncle sharply in front of him. His sympathetic smile poked from underneath his mustache. He was holding a plate in one hand. Peter could smell burnt toast. Was he having a stroke?!

“Once you feel like you can get up, eat some breakfast, okay? I brought you some toast.” Oh, that explained it. But one thing was still bugging Peter. “Breakfast?” he quizzed his uncle. He hadn’t even eaten dinner yet. Ben chuckled at his confusion. As always, his laugh was casual but mocking at the same time.

“You’ve been knocked out cold for a good fifteen hours, Pete. May called the doctors at least five times.” Peter rose so quickly he felt like he got whiplash. His vision spun for a moment. He was starting to feel sick in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t have been sleeping that long. What was the last time he even slept more than six hours? He couldn’t remember.

“Fif-fifteen hours?” he mumbled as he held his head, trying to keep it steady. Everything was still spinning in front of his eyes hazily.

“Yeah, I brought you to bed after the first few. Thought it might be a bit more comfortable,” he smiled.  Small wrinkles spreading next to his eyes. Showing that even with his great looks, age would catch up with everyone eventually.

Uncle Ben put down the plate near Peter’s legs and got up. He reached out for the pillow lying on the upper bed of the two. After fluffing it for a while he put it behind Peter’s back, who leaned against it immediately.

“Thanks.” Peter sighed satisfied. The spinning in his head finally stopped.

“Well, call us if you need something. Get some rest, and eat if you can.” He leaned down to pat Peter’s knee. A high pitched squeal left his mouth at every touch. It hurt so much.

“Sorry.” His uncle gave him one last, apologetic, smile before walking to the door and closing it behind him, leaving Peter alone. Peter took a few deep breaths. Yes, his body felt like it was on fire and his clothes stuck to his sweaty skin, but on the bright side, at least he didn’t feel like he was about to faint from exhaustion. He was wide awake, in fact. He could finally think straight again.

The empty feeling in his stomach encouraged him to pick up the plate of toast. It was just plain toasted bread, but in his state, Peter knew that it was the safest option. He was hungry and he would like to actually keep the food he ate in him and not puke it out a moment later. He went to grab the plate but froze when he saw his hand. He almost threw up right there.

The red circle that had formed soon after the bite, was now dark purple, almost black. It had also spread over most of his hand drawing all the way back to his wrist - which had swollen tremendously. On the back of his hand, his blue veins taut against his skin and he could swear he could see the blood pumping around them.

But even with the horrible look of it, the hand didn’t hurt anymore. If he closed his eyes, it was almost as if nothing ever happened… almost. But really the pain had simply moved to every other part of his body and squared itself. And then there was the fever and vertigo. What did that spider do to him?

He didn’t want to think about it. It was best not to think about it. Too much thinking about it couldn’t help him anyway. Worst case scenario, he dies. Oh, well. It would happen sooner or later. Of course, later was always much preferred, but… oh, who was he kidding? Peter didn’t want to die. Not like this. Not a vi…

“Peter?” Aunt May’s sleek, brunette hair appeared in the doorway. Like a flash, Peter had buried his bruised and swollen hand deep under the covers. He could only imagine the reaction it would have on her. There was no need for that. Peter just hoped he was quick enough. Fortunately, she didn’t. Taking one step forward she wrinkled her nose, “ugh, Pete, open the window for once, would you.”

“Sorry.” With his free hand, he took one piece of toast off the plate.

May walked to the window and drew the curtains. The sun shone into the room, searing Peter’s eyes. It was a big change from the weak light coming from the small lamp on his nightstand.,  The light from outside was much too harsh, his eyes were still very sensitive. It was as if his eyes couldn’t take up all the light particles anymore. He whined as he hid his eyes away from the brightness, and then again as he moved a tad too quickly. His muscles still ached as much as they had when he fell asleep on the couch. When he opened his eyes again to look at Aunt May, the room got even brighter, as if someone had dialed up the brightness to over a 100%.

He saw her open the window and that is when everything really went berserk: A police car speeded by through the street nearby and Peter thought his head would explode at the noise. He had never heard anything louder in his life… and he had gone to a Metallica concert with Uncle Ben last fall. His ears were still ringing when May walked up from the window.

“Eat up. I’m gonna bring you some medicine and I want to check your temperature,” she eyed him up and down, “and put on some fresh pajamas.” Her eyes had that friendly sternness in them for which she was known.

“Yes, ma'am.” Peter smiled as he took another bite of his toast, the dry food hard to swallow but at least he wasn’t throwing it up. “Could you also bring some water?” He did his best to look as innocent as possible.

May gave him one last look before walking off to get the medicine and a thermometer.  Peter ate one whole piece of toast before struggling to his feet, fighting through the pain in his legs and arms the entire time. His eyes remained closed until he was upright, taking a few small breaths first. He made his way to his closet to get a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Every step hurt, his joints grinding, it took everything in him not to scream. The short walk had already exhausted him and he still had to pick some clothes and then put them on! Not to mention, he also had to take off the gross clothes he was already wearing. Tentatively, he shimmered out of the sweater that was stuck to his chest. Just like predicted, he was glistening from the sweat that dripped down his body. He had a feeling that as much as he was perspiring, this was a fever he just couldn’t sweat out.

With his upper body bare, he could get a better look at the rest of his arm. The bruising around his hand had only reached his wrist so far. But the dark veins were already showable all up to his elbow. Thick and bulging. Was this poison running through his veins? Would it kill him the moment it would reach his heart?

Peter glanced at the shirt he picked. It was a white short sleeve. With this one, it would be impossible to hide his arm. He put it on and over that a red hoodie that was comfortably laying in reach on a chair next to him. Perfect to cover up whatever was happening to him. He wasn’t doing this because he didn’t want his aunt and uncle to find out… well, that too, but mainly, he just didn’t want to look at it himself. It looked disgusting.

So he put on the sweater and took his jeans off, exchanging them for some blue sweatpants. The door opened once more, didn’t people in this house know how to knock? Peter only had one pant leg on so he jumped around a bit startled, almost toppling over. It would have been funny if he wasn’t in so much pain. He could swear he could hear his heartbeat in his head. Was that normal? Could he usually feel that? Surely not. Was he losing brain fluid? Was he literally drying out? It would make sense from the way he was feeling.

“Hi there,” Peter said awkwardly while still jumping around on one leg. Each time hurt more than the other. The dizziness was also coming back.

May had stood in the doorway waiting for him to finish putting on his trousers. The little nurse cap on top of her head. After all this time, Peter still couldn’t believe she kept that ridiculous thing. It started out as a little joke. His aunt would wear it when Peter was little and feeling a bit under the weather. Over the years it had just stuck around and become their thing. Even Uncle Ben would put it on sometimes. But mostly when it was Aunt May who was sick.

“Alright. Here.” She handed him a glass of water and five different kinds of pills. Peter had no idea if the medicine would actually work. He didn’t know if something against radioactive spiders could be found in your average drugstore.  Radioactive, where did that come from? He had no idea, but it all made sense now. It did happen in front of the Oscorp lab. A company so toxic and poisonous from all the chemicals that Peter was surprised he hadn’t grown another set of eyes or something from just standing in front of the building.

He took the pills from May and was about to take the first one but she stopped him abruptly, “wait!” Peter didn’t know what to do. Was he supposed to take the pill or not? His hand was suspended in mid-air, mouth hanging wide open, Peter looked to his aunt. His arm starting to shake from the position it was suspended in, so he let it fall to his side. His eyes still locked with Aunt May’s.

“Let me first check your temperature.” She shoved the thermometer into his open mouth without hesitation. Peter almost choking on the metal end. He and May stood in silence looking at each other until the beeping sounded from the little device and Peter opened his mouth to pull it out. He handed it over, afraid to look himself. He already knew what to expect. He had been burning up the whole day. That could not lead to a normal body temperature.

And he was correct because when May  looked at the result, she gasped: “104 degrees!” Her hand shot to Peter’s forehead. Standing for so long was draining all his energy. When her hand reached face, he had to hold on to a bookshelf to stop from falling over backward.

Her eyebrows furrowed she let go of him. “Okay, that’s it. You’re getting in bed! Now!” Her arm was straight, Pointing in the direction of the heap of blankets. Peter followed her demand before she could do anything about it herself. If she had pushed just a little bit, he would be laying on the floor with a concussion. He was sure of that.

“You’ve been walking around without a jacket again, haven’t you?” she exclaimed once he was laying in bed again, tucking him in. Peter wanted to protest. To say that no, he has always had a jacket on. But what would be the point? He couldn’t exactly tell her that a spider bit him and that now its venom was flowing through his body. No, he could, but why would he give her, even more, to stress out about. Let’s keep it at one tragedy at a time.

May tucked him in so tight that he could barely breathe. He was lucky he had remembered to leave his arms free from the covers, or otherwise, he would have been stuck with the pills and glass of water underneath it. May stood up straight, looking rather proud of her job, but more than a hint of concern could still be seen in her expression. Peter expected her to leave now, but she just stood watching him. Like she was expecting something from him. Which she was, he remembered -

“Oh, right.” He put one of the pills in his mouth,  swallowing it down with some water. He did the same thing with the other four. The last one he had a particularly hard time with. It was disgusting! Peter gagged when the small capsule got stuck in his throat. May had to help him not choke. Once she was sure Peter was safe and could breathe properly again, she let out a sigh of relief.

“Ok, call if you need anything. I took a day of work. Ben will be leaving in an hour or so… uhm, your phone is on the charger. But I don’t want you staring at a screen the whole day so, read a book or something.” The stern look came back on her face.

“You got it.” Peter handed back the glass. He watched as she left his room, leaving the door slightly ajar so she could see if he needed her. He sighed, using his last bit of energy. Now that he was a bit relaxed, he felt how his legs were shaking from those five minutes of standing. His head felt heavier again, so he lowered it onto his pillow. It was so soft that he soon was dozing off again.

________________________________________

Peter stirred in his sleep. The clock on the wall ticked loudly. Each tick reminiscent to his own heartbeat. Steady, but too loud for his own ears. There was another noise that bothered him and in the end, also was what woke him up. Footsteps. They weren’t Ben’s or May’s. He knew those all too well from all the nights in which he had to look out for them walking in on him while he was watching youtube or Netflix in the middle of the night. No, this was someone else… And they were walking towards his door. How did he know that? He could feel his heart beating in his throat now. The steps were so clear in his mind that he could envision the person nearing him. Getting closer and closer.

He was ready for a knock on his door any moment now, but nothing came. Instead, he heard the doorbell. Then May’s footsteps making their way to answer. Those he identified easily. She unlocked the door and Peter could hear her talking loud and clear: “Hello, there.” He could actually hear the smile that he knew was consuming her face.

“Hi,” it was a girl, a girl he knew, “I’m (Y/N). I go to school with Peter.” Her voice sounded shy. The same way when she was taken aback by a teacher asking her questions in class.

From the few people who cared about his existence at school, she was probably the last person who Peter would expect to visit him. His heart skipped a beat. Because - (Y/N)!? What was she doing here? How did she even know where he lived? And wasn’t it a school day? Or did he sleep through the whole day already?  The questions made his head hurt again, so Peter stopped thinking. Instead, he tried to concentrate on listening to the conversation. It hurt his head but happened much easier than he thought. It seemed impossible to him that he could not only hear, but also understand what they were saying from the distance which separated him, May and (Y?N).

Their conversation continued with a gasping laugh coming from May: “Ah, (Y/N). I’m Peter’s aunt, May. Nice to meet you.” (Y/N)’s voice responded almost immediately, now sounding more confident. “Likewise.” He had the feeling that the two were now shaking hands. Peter heard a creaking sound, presumably the front door opening wider. Then May spoke again, “come in. Come in. Does Peter know you’re-”

“Oh no.” (Y/N) interrupted, with a small laugh, “Ned was supposed to bring him his homework, but something popped up for the decathlon, so…” her words faded in the end, probably not having prepared a full answer. May, however, wasn’t bothered.

“Right, right. Well, come on in. I think he is sleeping.” This was followed by a small giggle. It was hard for Peter to identify who it was coming from. May? (Y/N)? Maybe both of them were laughing?

Peter rolled his eyes. If he had the strength, he would have run over to them and interrupted this embarrassing moment. It was so unfair. Wasn’t he supposed to at least be in the room if his aunt was embarrassing him in front of his crush?

After a small silence that followed the giggles, May spoke again: “I’ll go check up on him.” Footsteps approached his door for real this time. May sauntered in, her eyes sparkling even more than usual. Peter sat up as straight as his aching body would let him. His jaw locked in frustration...or was it from the pain?

His aunt was beaming gleefully, closing the door softly behind her so she could talk to her nephew in private.

“May, what are you doing?” he asked, internally freaking out and the smug expression of his aunt was not making anything better for him.

“Nothing,” May batted a hand in his direction, although he was sure he saw the corner of her mouth turning up, “there’s a girl-” She pointed back at the door with her thumb.

“I know,” he blurted out. May was taken aback but kept going. The smile not even fading from the corners of her mouth as she talked.

“She’s cute,” she teased. Peter wished that his illness would hurry up and kill him already. Mentally, this was so much worse than any pain he had endured so far.

“I know,” he repeated through gritted teeth this time, “and that’s why I don’t want her to see me like this.” He pointed at his face, which felt hot and sweaty and was probably paler than paper. May rolled her eyes at his dramatics. Biting her lip, like she always did when she was joking and said: “You look adorable, I’m sure she won’t mind. I’m letting her in.” Before Peter could object she was bouncing off towards the front door where (Y/N) stood to wait. The footsteps on the hardwood floor were clear as (Y/N) made her way through the apartment to his room. Peter felt beads of sweat drip down his forehead. He didn’t know if it was the fever or the nerves causing it. He never had a girl standing in his room before. And this was not the way he had pictured he would look the first time.

There was a gentle knock knock on the door. Peter answered with a croaking: “Come in.” and the door opened. Her hair fell into view before the rest of her. She poked her head inside. Probably a bit insecure about walking into his room for the first time, not sure what to expect.

“Hey there,” her voice its usual softness. Peter could barely make out her small wave as, as usual, her hand was completely covered by her oversized sweater. Peter waved back awkwardly. She drifted around his room, observing all his little trinkets. He followed her with his eyes, hoping he didn’t leave anything humiliating lying around. From what he could see, he seemed to be fine.  Although that reassurance vanished when he took another look at her. She seemed to have lingered on one thing in his room for an extended period of time, “is that a Lego Millenium Falcon?” She pointed at the object. Peter followed her finger. He looked at the grey sculpture standing in the corner of the room, leaning against a stand that Peter build after the original had broken when he and Ned were building it.

“Uh yeah,” Peter blushed. He couldn’t gauge from her level tone whether she was impressed or about to mock him. He hoped the former.  Luckily, he wasn’t wondering for long, as she walked up to it and smiled, “how long did it take you to build it?”

Peter scratched the back of his neck as he watched her examine the small version of the iconic spaceship. “I don’t know. A few weeks, maybe. Ned and I did it together.” She glanced at him from where she was standing, but her eyes went back to the Lego not even two seconds after. Whit a smile she commented: “Aw, that’s so cool. I have the Star Destroyer set at home, been trying to build it with my brother.” She looked at the lego set in fascination.

As she was not paying much attention to him, Peter didn’t know what to do. Should he lay down or stay seated? Should he start a proper conversation? He had no idea. This was the first time he had ever been properly alone with her. Trying to think of something as a reply, he dried his clammy hands on the duvet.

“Oh, cool.” Probably the un-coolest thing he could respond with, but he did anyway. (Y/N) chortled at his words, attention still on the Falcon. When she had finished marveling at it, she came over and sat down on the edge of his bed.  

There was a sheepish smile on her face.“How are you feeling?” she asked, “Ned told me you were sick. Was it the spider?” The last part came out as a whisper, which Peter appreciated as she never closed the bedroom door behind her.

Peter shook his head.“No, just a fever. Nothing bad,” he assured her. She looked skeptical, not buying into his flimsy story, and honestly, he couldn’t blame her. He didn’t believe it himself, so why would she. But she didn’t question him any further. Instead, she changed the subject completely. “Well, I brought you your homework. Ned couldn’t make it.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at him.

“You do?” Oh, he messed up. How could he have possibly known why she was here without having listened in on the conversation she had with Aunt May? He couldn’t tell her that. He didn’t want her to think he was weird. “Yeah. Ned, uh, h-he texted me,” he stuttered out in the end.

“Weird. I didn’t tell him that I was coming to see you.” she bend down to look through her backpack, which she had put down next to her on the floor before. She had said this very emotionlessly. Peter started to worry again. He thought he had this under control, but oh boy, was he far from that.

“I meant, that he texted me that he couldn’t come himself,” he tried again. Her expression softened a bit with the new information, even laughing a bit. She sat up straight. Seeing the worry in Peter she laughed even more.

“Wow, chill out, Parker. Obviously, I did tell him,” her laughter filling up the room, melodic sounds that seemed to match Peter’s heartbeat perfectly. “Otherwise, how would I have gotten your address? Well, anyway,” she put her backpack on top of her lap and unzipped it, “here’s your homework.” She pulled out a big pile of papers and a small box of what seemed to be cookies, “and here are some chocolate chip cookies my mom baked last night. I picked them up on my way from school to your place. I don’t know if you want them, or even like them, but yeah...” She looked a bit unsure at the clear tapestry before handing it over to him.

“Thanks.” He took the box and stack of homework from her,  placing them down on the bed aside from her. He wanted to get rid of them quickly before his arms gave out but he didn’t want (Y/N) to know that. He looked down at his hands. The fingers of his left hand were trembling a bit. He glanced back at her, only to see her staring blankly at the open zipper of her bag.

“So…” he wanted to start a conversation, desperately trying to cling on to any good starters. At the sound of his voice, she eagerly looked up from her backpack. “Ho-how are you?” he asked, slightly cringing at his own words.

“I’m good,” she smiled sheepishly, “you?” She paused, cursing herself,  “that’s a stupid question. Sorry.”

“No. It’s- I’m fine. Just a bit tired, I guess,” Peter rambled. As if the bed was suddenly burning her, she shot up. Mumbling, “right, sorry. I should let you rest.” She was walking away. Peter’s eyes were glued on her. Cursing himself with every move she made away from him.

Her hand wrapped around the door handle, about to leave. Peter wanted to stop her. He didn’t want to be alone and those short minutes with her had almost completely distracted him from the imminent death he was sure was coming. But he couldn’t possibly ask her to stay. He would sound weird and pathetic. They weren’t actually friends, as much as Peter yearned for it. He opened his mouth regardless, “no, wait. Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not that tired.” His incoherent babbling was making (Y/N) smile, every time he tripped over a word her smile grew bigger. 

“It’s okay, Peter. I have to get going anyway. I hope you get better soon.”

“I hope so too,” he laughed awkwardly. Before she left she had a few last words for Peter. She turned around. With a smirk, she said, “I like that color on you.” Her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink and Peter had the feeling his cheeks looked the same. Although, his face had been boiling all day, so who knows.

“What?” he asked with a small laugh. He couldn’t remember the last time he got a compliment from a girl - that wasn’t his aunt. It had also come so suddenly that he wasn’t sure if she had actually said or if it was just a figment of his imagination, resulting from him being so sick. He just looked at her startled.

“The blue and red,” she pointed at his clothes, “not a lot of people dare to color block anymore. It suits you.” Peter looked down at his hoodie. It was okay, he thought, nothing too special though.

“Oh, uhm, thanks, what was he supposed to say? He frantically searched his brain for something light-hearted, “you look good… too.” That was not it. Peter wanted to bury his head in his hands. Why did he have to be like this? Fortunately, she laughed it off and waved him goodbye,  saying, “bye, Peter, I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, sure.” He said so faintly it was almost a whisper. He waved her off until she closed the door behind her. Falling back into his pillow, his spine cracked in a few spots. It didn’t hurt, but Peter had to admit, that did not sound healthy. But he had other things to worry about, so he pushed it to the side. For example: how was it possible that he could hear May and (Y/N) talk on the other side of the apartment? Was it a fluke? Peter needed to know, so he concentrated as hard as he could. More footsteps. (Y/N)’s footsteps. They were light and quick. Almost as if she barely touched the ground while walking. Then they stopped, but he didn’t hear the door open. Instead, there were voices. Just like Peter assumed, May said, “oh, are you leaving already?”

(Y/N) sighed. “Yes, I got homework to do, so I should really get going.” An airy laugh left (Y/N)’s lips. How can I possibly hear this, he thought - still very confused about the whole situation. He expected to hear (Y/N)’s gentle voice again, but it was May who spoke: “Well, thank you for stopping by. I’m sure Peter enjoyed the company.”  The two said their goodbyes and after a shuffle of footsteps, the door banged a couple of times, as May tried to close. Uncle Ben had planned on fixing the jammed door already for weeks. Peter let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was glad that (Y/N) had left because he didn’t have to pretend like he was not in agony.. But, at the same time, he was sad. Because Aunt May was right. He did enjoy the company.

The next thing that happened was difficult to describe. It was… strange at the very least. The door to his room opened without a warning, but Peter was prepared, sensing it before it happened. It wasn’t that he knew it would be May, but he could feel it. In a very specific way that he just couldn’t explain to himself. It wasn’t that he heard her walk or that he could see her. He just felt the presence of someone nearing him. It made the hair on his arms stand up. Like all his normal senses blacked out and were exchanged for this other, new, sense, that he didn’t know he had. Did he actually have it before? It didn’t seem like it. The sensation was too bizarre. If he had ever experienced it before, he would have remembered.

May walked in, practically radiating from the opportunity she had to tease Peter.“Sooo,” May smirked as she rounded the door,. “who is she?”  Why could Peter feel his aunt coming to his room, but not expect this conversation? Even when he knew she wanted to talk to him.

“No- no one. Just- just a girl from school.” Peter scratched the back of his neck, not feeling like having this conversation right now. May crossed her arms as she leaned oh-so-casually against the door.

“Uh-huh, sure. So every girl at your school is cute?” her voice rising on the last word, eyebrows waggling wildly. Peter wished he hadn’t said that. He closed his eyes hoping to find an easy way out from this conversation.

The feeling from before came back. Even with his eyes closed, it was like he could see his aunt walk towards him. He could see her reach out for his hand. The bitten hand. Like a reflex, Peter pulled it away, still wanting to keep his secret. Opening his eyes again, he saw that May was, indeed, crouching at the side of his bed. Her mouth hanging open slightly and brow now furrowed. Luckily, she had misunderstood it as a moody-teenager-move. Her smug smile changed when she wrinkled her nose and she pressed her lips to one corner of her mouth.

“Pete, you don’t have to be ashamed. It’s natural,” she mused. “if you ever wanna talk about anything, come to me.” She laid a hand on his hair, before drawing it away when she felt how damp it was, ”or Ben, if you don’t feel comfortable. Just talk, okay?”

“Yeah.” It was a weak yeah, but it was enough to satisfy his aunt. He reciprocated May’s smile which only widened hers.

She sat down on her knees on the ground, her elbows on the edge of the bed, while she leaned her chin on her hands. With wiggling eyebrows she “So tell me, what’s she like?”

“Ugh, oh my god!” Peter rolled his eyes with a groan. He thought that would be the end of it, but apparently not...Was he really having this conversation with her right now? On his deathbed?

“Fine, fine. I thought I would at least try. She seemed nice though.” May backed off with the questions. Her eyes suddenly flashed to something laying next to him, “she brought you cookies?” May reached out for the little tapestry box. With a click, it opened and the smell of warm chocolate filled the room. Did she warm them up for him? Peter watched his aunt take one cookie out of the box.

“Oh, these are good!” she said, taking a bite, immediately followed by a small moan. “Did she make those for you?” She waved around with the remaining part of the cookie.

“No, no, her mom did. She just...brought them.”

“Right, well, I’ll leave them here then. But…” she took two more cookies, “I’m taking these with me.” Winking she got up and left Peter alone again. Not for very long though, as her head poked around the doorframe moments later, “how are you feeling? Steady enough to join us for dinner?” Peter just nodded.

“Yeah, I’m a bit better. Still a bit hot.” He rubbed his dry eyes. The rough skin on his fingertips didn’t make it much better. May had watched his every move curiously.

“Hmm, I’ll check your temperature again later, and give you some cold medicine.” She walked away, this time for good. Peter didn’t know what to do. From the clock on the wall he saw there would still be around an hour until dinner and from two whole days of sleeping, he was now wide awake. He hadn’t realized it when he had company, but his muscles weren’t causing him as much pain anymore. Now it was a mere myalgia. Like he used to have every time after Gym class when they were forced to do a PACER test. His body felt like it was starting to return to normal. Except for his face, but that was just the fever, he was sure of it. Well, pretty sure. Like 70% sure.

Peter’s stomach rumbled. The idea of dinner already sneaking its way into his brain. He hadn’t eaten properly since lunch of yesterday. The smell of the chocolate in the cookies filled his nostrils and made his mouth water. He couldn’t deny, they smelled delicious.

And they were delicious. Peter took one bite and the cookie melted in his mouth. The chocolate was hot, but not hot enough to actually burn his tongue. It was amazing, probably the best cookie he had ever tasted. Which was a bit suspicious. No cookie ever tasted that good after 24 hours. Good cookies were still good, but this was a bit too good. And they were warm. Not the microwave kind of warm, no, this was straight from the oven warm. Did she actually bake those for him?

Even though he was alone, he shook his head in denial. No, there was no way. When would she have gotten the time to do that? And why would she? They barely knew each other. It didn’t make sense. They weren’t on the ‘I’ll come over and bring you cookies when you’re sick’ level of friendship. Although, just minutes ago he didn’t think they were on ‘complimenting each other’ level, yet, that still happened.

“Hey, Peter?” Ben’s voice roamed the apartment. It shook Peter out of his paranoia. The small shock made him jump up in his position on the bed, throwing the box of cookies into the air. He moved around so quickly, that not even a crumb fell on the bed, including from the cookie he was holding.

“Nice catch.”  Ben’s voice was closer now. Peter turned around his uncle standing, smiling at him. “How are you, buddy?”

“Fine, better than before.” Peter put down the box between his legs. Ben glanced down at the plastic container, a bit confused about why his nephew had a full box of chocolate-chip cookies.

“Good. Your aunt is asking me to ask you if you are joining us at the table.”

“What are we eating?” Peter quizzed his uncle, who just sighed in response. Peter sighed back, understanding what that meant, “if I tell you that I’m too sick, are you gonna make me get out there and eat that?”

“No, but I don’t think you can escape the meatloaf today, bud.” ben huffed out a laugh defeatedly.

“Right, I’ll just come.” He threw the blankets off his legs and kicked them back to the end of his bed. The small cramp in his thighs and calves making it hard to walk, and his knees were still a bit weak. However, that could be the cause of laying in bed the whole day. Uncle Ben had already walked back to the kitchen to help his wife not burn down the apartment. Peter went out to join them. He passed the mirror and wanted to do just that, pass it, but something he saw from his peripheral vision made his double take. He took a step back so he was standing in front of his reflection. At least, it looked like him at first glance. With a  clearer inspection, the edges started to blur, minor details of his features morphing in front of him, or so it seemed. It looked like Peter if he had been amateurly drawn while sick. Everything was right, but just a bit wrong at the same time.

He was much paler. Hair stuck to his forehead. A vein in his neck was pulsing. It wasn’t dark though, like the ones in his arm. His arm. Peter pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie. To his surprise, all the veins were fading back to their normal color. His wrist was still a bit swollen, but the dark bruises had faded to a less threatening yellow hue with just a hint of red in the middle. The spot where the spider bit him. He stretched out his fingers to check if they hurt. Nothing. He pressed the middle of his palm with his ring and middle finger. Still nothing. The fingers didn’t hurt, but an intense pain erupted from the pressure point, through his arm, all the way up to his chest. But it was a different kind of pain. Not in his muscles. It felt like it was literally coming from his veins.

With all of this, freaking him out a bit too much, he pulled the sleeve back down and continued looking at his reflection. Except for the strange vein, there was something generally off-putting about his neck. Together with his shoulders, it all looked to be broader. He rolled his head from left to right, back and forth and then in a circular motion. He heard several cracks. They didn’t hurt. But when he rolled his head back again, it did a bit, like a horrible cramp. To stop the pain from getting worse, he pulled his head back up.

His eyes were back on the mirror. He traced his body slowly, trying to see every small detail. Now that he thought about it, the sleeves of his hoodie felt a bit tight. It was one of those things that you didn’t see until you realize it. The same went for his sweatpants. They were just a bit off. Maybe it had shrunk in the dryer? Clothes did that, after all. Hmm, the clothes. They were just a simple red hoodie and blue sweats. Really nothing special. A bit too bright, Peter thought. But for some reason, it did suit him. He had no idea why, but (Y/N) was right. With a smirk still plastered on his face, he walked away, ready to eat some “food” his aunt had prepared.

> Part 2  <

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[leiascully]

Ficlet: Mrs. & Mr.  Spooky

Timeline: Season 10 (interlude in the All The Choices We’ve Made ‘verse - Visitor + Resident + etc.) Rating: PG Characters:  Mulder, Scully, Tom Colton Content warning: none A/N:  This combines and expands on the ficlets from the past few days.  I made a few edits here and there.

Scully’s reaching for the coffee pot when she realizes someone else is also reaching for it.  She draws back politely.  Bullpen coffee isn’t worth a fight.  She doesn’t really need to be more awake right now.  She just wanted something warm.  The heating in the basement is being repaired, and her sweater only does so much.  

“Oh,” she says when she actually looks at the face of the person who wants the coffee.  “Colton.”

He looks up.  “Dana?  I haven’t seen you in years.”

“Decades,” she says with a tight grin that shows her canines.  She hasn’t missed him.

“How’ve you been?” he asks.

She considers the range of her options.  Abduction.  Cancer.  Loss of a daughter she didn’t know she had.  Infertility.  Near loss of Mulder.  Loss of Mulder.  Death of Mulder.  Revival of Mulder.  Birth of a miraculous son.  Loss of a miraculous son.  Gain and loss of two new partners.  Years on the run.  Attempted redemption.  Breakup.  Therapy.  Renewal of relationship.  Second chance at redemption.  Mother’s death.  More therapy.

“Fine,” she says.  “You?”

“Oh, still busting my ass,” he says, sticking one hand in his pocket.  

“Still not assistant director,” she says, feigning politeness.

“Well, looks like you aren’t either,” he says.

“No,” she agrees.  “We took a leave of absence.”

“We?” he asks.

“Oh, yes,” she says, gesturing.  Mulder’s clearly been lurking; he saunters over and leans over her shoulder.  “We took a leave of absence for, oh, almost a decade, but we were asked to reconsider.  We’ve reopened the X-Files.  You remember my husband, Mulder.”

“Sure,” Colton says, holding out his hand to shake and grimacing as Mulder squeezes a little too tight.  Scully would roll her eyes, but that’s the only kind of conversation men like Colton seem to understand.  “Wow.  Congrats.  I guess you’re Mrs. Spooky for real.”

“We actually changed our legal names,” Mulder says blandly.

Colton narrows his eyes.  “Yeah, well, good luck, I guess.”

“You too,” Scully says.  “It must be frustrating to climb the ladder all these years and still be on the bottom rung.  Maybe you’ll get your big break soon.”

“I for one found our sabbatical really refreshing,” Mulder says.  “You might consider it.  Right, honey?”

“Definitely,” she says, leaning against him.  “It really put everything in perspective and gave us leverage to negotiate when they asked us back.”

“Wow,” Colton says through gritted teeth.  “Sounds great.”

“Should we step out for coffee, since there’s no more here?” Scully asks Mulder.  

“It’s a date,” Mulder says, smiling at her.  “Stretch our legs, knock out this case.  Third one this week - they just keep piling them on when you’ve got a solve rate like ours.”  He shakes his head regretfully.  “See you later, Colton.  Nice catching up with you.”

“Yeah, great to see you,” Colton says.  He takes a long sip of his coffee.  Scully’s fairly certain he burns his tongue.  She smiles.

“You didn’t have to completely annihilate him,” Mulder murmurs as they walk away.  

“He had it coming,” she tells him.

He whistles in quiet admiration.  “I like this killer instinct of yours.”  

“Thank you,” she says.

“I’d pay money to watch you tear down men brick by brick,” he muses.  “Just one thing, Mrs. Spooky.  We’re not married.”

“Maybe it’s time to change that,” she says.

“What inspired this?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

She sighs.  “Seeing my mother in the hospital again just reminded me that as it stands, we have no right to see each other.  I’m your doctor, but what if I get sick?  There are too many scenarios, too many factors.  It would make things so much easier if we had legal protections.”

“How romantic,” he murmurs as they walk out of the Hoover Building.

“How’s this for romantic?” she says, and takes his hands.  She uses her grip as leverage as she slowly kneels on the sidewalk, glad she stopped wearing hose sometime in the mid 90s.  “Fox Mulder.  You and I have been through hell and back.  You understand me like no one else has or ever will.  You’re my one in seven billion.  Will you marry me?”

“People are staring, Scully,” he says, amused.

“Let them,” she tells him, gazing into his eyes.  It’s an interesting perspective, one she’s rarely seen outside the bedroom.  

“Is this real?” he asks.

“Mulder, I’m kneeling on a sidewalk in Washington D.C. and it’s almost lunch time,” she tells him.  “There’s no way I would do that if it weren’t serious.”

“You might be a doppelganger,” he says, “but yes, Scully, obviously I’ll marry you.”  He pulls her up and into his arms for a lingering kiss.  She lets herself melt into him.  People around them are applauding.  

“You really gave the tourists a thrill,” he says against her lips.

“As long as I still thrill you,” she says breathlessly.

“You do,” he tells her, and kisses her again.

+ + + +

Scully gets on Etsy. It seems like there are a hundred thousand people offering hand-lettered signs, and she browses for more than an hour, looking for just the right style. She finally chooses someone who paints on reclaimed wood. It’s trendy, appropriately rustic. She feels reclaimed herself. She and Mulder are still buffing away each other’s rough spots, but raw edges are in vogue. She knows how to slide her hands over him without getting any splinters by now.

It’s reasonably priced, all things considered, and they can deliver it by Mulder’s birthday. Mrs. and Mr. Spooky, it says. She thinks he’ll like the less-than-traditional order of it, an omen that she’s adopted the identity fully. They aren’t hanging in the office, though. There has to be some modicum of professionalism..

+ + + + 

“Rounding the bases toward 60,” he says, after they’ve had cake and opened presents. “I wouldn’t be here without you, Scully.”

“Sure you would,” she says.

He leans back in his chair. “When I was young, I thought I was the light that shine too brightly. I just assumed I’d die young. My sister was gone. All I had was my passion. And then Diana left and some part of me looked for ways to martyr myself.”

“I remember,” she says. “We were always running pell-mell into dark rooms.”

“You showed me it didn’t have to be that way,” he says, taking her hand. “You showed me storms could be weathered. Lives could be rebuilt.”

“We rebuilt each other,” she says. “Up from the foundations.”

He turns her hand over in his and kisses her palm. “We’re stronger for it.”

“Happy birthday,” she tells him, smiling.

Outside rain patters down, chill and grey. They’re snug and warm under their own sturdy roof. Later they’ll slide together into bed, damp from the shower, and share a slow caress. It’s October and they’ve come around again: slung full circle around the sun, from the basement to the stars and back.

+ + + +

They hang the sign in the entryway, over the hall table with the mail basket and the bowls for their keys.  

“I like it,” Mulder says judiciously.  “It’s the first thing I see when I walk in.”  He flourishes his hand at it, palm open.  

“Of course you like it,” she says from the front steps.  “It’s very tasteful.  Can I come in?”

“I have to carry you over the threshold,” he tells her.  

“Mulder, you’re going to throw your back out,” she says, but she knows her eyes are soft.  “I don’t think you have to do that for a courthouse wedding anyway.”

“A courthouse wedding is still a wedding,” he chides.  

“In the eyes of the government, yes,” she allows.  “Nobody else cares.”  

“I care,” he says, coming out to the front stoop.  He leans down to nuzzle at her neck; her hair is pulled up and his nose and lips are warm against her skin.

“I know we should have waited until tomorrow,” he says.

“A  Halloween wedding would have been a little on the nose,” she tells him.  “This is perfect.”

“A nip in the air,” he says, nipping at her neck so that she shivers.  “Falling leaves.  Apple cider and ghost stories.”  

“Very atmospheric,” she says.  “Are you going to carry me inside or not?  It’s chilly out here and this dress isn’t very warm.”  It’s a cream-colored silk sheath with russet trim: something traditional but updated, a wedding dress for a bride who took the long road home.  She’s wearing her mother’s coin necklace around her neck and blue earrings.  The old rhyme feels like a prayer.  She knows it’s how her mother and Missy would have dressed her.  

“I thought that’s what the shrug was for,” he mumbles against her collarbone.  

“The shrug only does so much,” she says.  

"Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he murmurs.  “I’ll warm you up.”

“I know you will,” she says, twining her arms around his neck.  He bends his knees and slips his arms under her.  She feels so safe in his arms, as if the weight of the past has been, well, not lifted, but made light for the moment.  Their memories are draped over them the way her shrug is draped over her shoulders.  There’s a warmth in them, despite it all.  

“Happy wedding night, Mrs. Spooky,” he says, as he carries her into the house.

“Happy wedding night, Mr. Spooky,” she tells him, and he nudges the door shut with his foot while Kismet barks from the den.  

[camimoo]

So, I watched the Heathers episode of Riverdale

K, so I’ve never watched Riverdale before (well like half an episode on tv once) but I heard there was a musical episode themed on Heathers.  

So I watched it…and accidentally started writing a really long play-by-play analysis:

Oh we’re really just gonna turn on a boombox and go. Ok.

Is KJ’s voice that high all the time? is that just the line they gave him? It’s so babie

Tiny girl  :((( so much autotune.

Oh gosh, that “whyyyyyyyyyyy” is too low for him. Otherwise the Kevin guy is probably their best guy singer.

Weird disorganized sometimes-choreography for background peeps. Like this row of desks will move, but the one next to it will be completely still

“Are all of you this miserable”  lol

The hair wooshy noises…this is only for this episode right? That can’t be in the regular run of the show right? It’s so loud

Oh heck, no harmony on Candy Store :( also weird bad cuts

Is veronica’s house always lit with crappy eerie blue lights?

Is every character selling drugs?  Like every single one?

Also is the plot that these kids have to stop their drug dealing moms?

“What are you gonna do?” “ I’m gonna take a bath.” *starts crying* lmao

Co director girl is so over acting.  Is she a regular character on this show?

Aw man lowering the big fun notes :(

Also can the Ram Sweeney guy actually act? Cuz based on what I’m seeing, imma go with No.

So, frequently, a disembodied voice is just singing and matches nobody on screen, like they don’t seem to concerned with getting the right person on screen lip-syncing at the right moment.

Also one of the jock dudes is suuuuper tone deaf

Again terrible edit cuts in the song.

I do appreciate that they are all indeed doing jello shots.

So we have the 3 heathers, and then we have … 3 more dark evil heathers?

Also this sometimes using riverdale-veronica as heathers-veronica but also not is confusing

Doing some Grease hand jive dancing?

There are some ridiculously loud sound effects in this. Archie’s jacket for one

I thought the neon lighting was just for promotional photos of Riverdale. But no. literally every scene is lit in neon red and blue (and maybe some yellow)

Ooh I like the “anything to share veronica”, that matches the musical where she has to blurt something out at the assembly

“my family’s always been unconventional.” Lol yeah your family is unconventional, (from the 5 seconds I’ve seen of them) your mother whose face never changes and she just wafts around, and your gravel-voice dad

Off-brand hostess cupcakes!

“He’s a real class act, that Sweet Pea”  how do y’all deliver any of this dialogue with a straight face when your characters have COMIC BOOK names??

“cuz your parents are splitsville” lol, way to be gentle

“I AM RED” and snaps and two replacement heathers come to back her up.  How many heathers are there in this show? We’re up to like 8

“Faux pink lady”.  So we are intentionally making these Grease references. Got it.

Lol she said Westerberg.

What’s the point of saying the one tiny girl is Veronica if Topaz(?) is gonna sing her songs

All hope is gone. Apparently these are the Highschool lyric changes.  Hmmm

I feel like they are mix and matching characters together willy-nilly.  I pick…you and …you! Yep threesome now.

Nuh uh.  Her name is PEACHES?!

The loud sound effects are killing me.  When you pat your thighs that doesn’t usually echo through a whole auditorium peeps.

Also why are we in the auditorium, you all clearly have neon lit mansions to go home to, why not use a more believable setting for seducing your friends?

So Tony/EvilHeather/Veronica is seeing visions of Cheryl/ActualHeather telling her she’s beautiful???

Oof that was a terrible record scratch noise.  Also whiplash! “Let’s make this beautifuuuul-STOP.”

Lol Fang.

What is ThE GaRgOyLe ChaMbEr?

Finally some harmony, it’s altered but still decent. :) Our love is god.

Are they having a secret gay cult wedding in a dungeon church?

The weird kinda half choreo the background cast does every once in a while.  Also specifically its only like the first row of extras in every case.  The back or outer rows never move..?

Do boxers really punch the air for practice by themselves in empty boxing rings?

k. I kinda hate the tiny girl’s voice,

so everybody is Veronica. Huh. Just takin turns.

I guess that’s just what KJ’s singing voice is. Ok.

Also when making cuts, why still have her say “well whoa you can punch real good.”  Just cut the “well whoa” and it will fit your scenario better.

Ok I actually super like the new harmony at the end of fight for me.

Principals are susceptible to cults. Got it.

Meet me at JUNKYARD STEVE’S??

Red scrunchie!

WAIT- did evil-heather and heather-heather used to be in love?

Wait they found the drug lab that quick?  Is this like a once-an-episode kinda thing? just gotta shut down the daily drug lab and move on

“and serial killer fathers” said in a comforting tone.

What even were those terrible piano chords as an intro to Seventeen?

But actually this song seems like a good fit for these traumatized children.  Help these babies :(

The voices of Cole and lilli (and most of them) sound like they were recorded so separately and in completely different ways, ones more breathy, others are echoey, some have autotune…hmm

Also someone pointed out that when you get to the “your eyes can’t we be seeeventeeeeeeen” line, Cole’s voice changes so drastically it has got to be somebody else.  I totally agree.

Sometimes the background music (not heathers) sounds like a western movie.  Like somebody just got challenged to a show down at high noon.

I want to crack an egg with a tiny egg hammer! And he didn’t even get to eat it.

Her dad sounds like a gravellier version of Misha Collins

She does really good at Lifeboat.

“I thought I was captain” diff lyrics.  Ok.

“drugs…terrible…what a nightmare”  delivered practically deadpan devoid of emotion. wow what quality dialogue.

“what is all over your faces?”  oh that’s just the drugs soot. No worries. Trashing meth labs always leaves me covered in soot.

Oof. “Martha are you free tonight?”  nobody answers. They all kinda glance around awkwardly.  Really? Why leave the name in at all if you aren’t including Martha, just change it.

When you burn down a building, shouldn’t you flee the scene of the crime? No? does being in the snake gang make him immune?

Also the pan out to make sure we saw the gas can in the back seat, cuz yanno I couldn’t’ve pieced that bit together on my own.

Also I’m assuming they’re drinking big gulps right?

Weird music edits

HOLD UP, is Tony dressed as Martha??? Wut.

Also none of their vocal styles go together, the transition from the others to tony is jarring. Tony is all sexy breathy poppy.

Hmm, interesting minimal interpretive dancing choreo

Ack, please blend in the tiny girl’s vocals.  Pls I beg you. At least I think its her.

Everyone else: *taking off clothes and jackets*

Jughead: *putting on his hat*

Hold up, I feel like from seeing the rest of the ep I can guess who most of the audience members are that are getting close ups/reaction shots, but I swear they added a new lady, heavily made up, and not Cole or Veronica’s mom...who…?

Oh and now we get creepy cult flash mob with hypnotizing claps. Ok.

 Overall:  pretty messy. No one really plays a specific character so it’s hard to gain any of the character growth that they get in the actual musical.  No one’s vocal style matches like at all.  The new lyrics and tons of edits were odd. The sound mixing was bad I think, like everything stuck out and didn’t match. This show is hilariously broody and they all have such funny names. Camilla whatshername is a good singer, actually the main 3 girls are p good, and the Kevin guy.  

Huh.

[swordstrider]

Epilogue Thoughts

Well, throughout the clusterfuck of meme reblogs, it’s finally time for me to pull up a velvet cushioned chair and discuss the “tales of dubious authenticity”. As such, there will naturally be spoilers pertaining to both the meat and candy routes, although I’ll focus more on meat, since I actually read a hell of a lot more there than I did with candy. Continue under the cut if you wish.

Since it’s the shortest possible spiel I have to offer, I’ll get the candy route out of the way first. My read-through of the epilogues began with this one, although I only lasted through eight chapters before promptly giving up. The reason for this, is, well... The candy route is just a mess, as it is 100% likely supposed to be. What I had expected from it was what some in the fandom have naturally ascribed to Homestuck’s candy metaphor; Fluff, romance, friendship, happiness, low plot, and so on.

However, it’s clear to me that candy itself extends into something more... sour, if you will, and I suppose it should have been blatant from the get-go, what with trickster mode being apparent in the comic. I only have remnants of memories from those few chapters, as well as commentary from fans which I took into account, and it’s naturally fucking insane. I don’t think I necessarily have to prattle too long on the matter, but, wow. It really does seem like the next edition of trickster mode, and that’s just too far for me, for various reasons. Although I didn’t spend much time preoccupied with the candy route, I’m essentially summarizing it as maximum craziness to a very disturbing degree, and as such, I’m not going to involve myself any further with it. As far as I’m concerned, it never “really” happened from my own point of view, despite it being an option likely disposed to... some potentially canon element to it? I don’t even know anymore. All I can truly attribute to this particular route is a metaphorical, sugarcoated mess on my lawn that I never really wanted in the first place, let alone anticipated.

Moving on to the meat route, there’s naturally a fucking lot that I can talk about here. I suppose you could say... this one will be the real meat of this post. Haha, funny.

Anyway, as you may have guessed, I continued onward with this route a bit after clawing my way through barely eight chapters of the candy route. I did it this way since, if I remember correctly, this particular order was recommended by V, or someone else involved with the production of the epilogues. I think such an order was... an okay choice? I didn’t feel particularly affected by it in hindsight, but I feel as though the upgraded prose and general non-wackiness made me feel somewhat better after the sinister experience of the candy route.

I’ll progress by listing the things that I enjoyed or liked about the meat route first.

1) As I mentioned before, I’m quite sure the prose and convoluted narrative were toned up quite a lot here, along with being linear and not feeling like a mess beyond rectifying. It’s more comprehensible, in spite of about forty six chapters worth of content and so many details to catch on to. There seems to be some sort of purpose within this route, rather than the capricious nature of its complement, which is something I can respect. It still feels sort of unstable, since there’s just so much shit to grasp, but I guess I’ll let that one slide.

2) Just like Homestuck was about honesty when inspecting the struggles, conflicts, and inner workings of teenagers, I feel as though the meat route did nicely in continuing that pattern. The characters clearly still continue having conflict through their adult years, and this is especially shown throughout Terezi and John, as well as the drifting relationship of Rose and Roxy, and the isolated state that Rose and Kanaya were in with each other; Likely being so entangled with their relationship that they distanced from others slowly, yet surely. I have no experience in the range of my early twenties yet, but I have heard other people comment that this captures the particular stage well. I feel like it does, too, since individuals can naturally go through general conflicts such as distance/isolation, mental illnesses, physical or emotional ailments, and so on during any stage of their life, whether it be as a young child, a teenager, or an adult. The depictions of John’s depression felt very, very realistic, and, on a more personable level for me, relatable. The numbing of emotions, the isolation from others, his self loathing, all just... very much captured what depression is really like, in a sense. Not everyone’s experience with depression is the same, but this felt very... close to me. It feels like the first time I’ve ever seen a character depicted with such an authentic struggle with depression, and even a character with such a genuine, visible struggle as a whole. I can’t put into words how reality-based this felt. The sheer fact that even in the epilogues, the honesty that life is difficult and filled with conflict is an amazing expansion to Homestuck’s already in-depth examination of such a thing itself.

3) The relationships are yet another point I’d like to make here, particularly Dave/Karkat and John/Terezi. Dave and Karkat still have this romantic bond, even if they were cagey when admitting it for a bit. They still love each other just as much, joke around with each other, support each other, feel good with each other, understand each other, and are happy with each other. That’s a lot of fucking “each other”s, but I’ll be damned if I can’t get the point across. It’s made very clear cut that they’re still very much in love, even in spite of growing political tensions and other conflicts. As for John and Terezi, it’s shown that they have this very unique bond that no other characters quite have with each other. Sure, they joke around and poke fun at each other, but most of all, they have this deep, innate connection in sort of relating to each other, in a way. They both had experiences with numbness, sadness, depression, and their own forms of trauma, and they were able to discuss some of this with each other on a very vulnerable level during that time. They discussed things that were important to them. Their relationship is also another thing that feels very authentic; Two young adults emotionally supporting each other and just having hope that the other has their back, especially in such trying, traumatic times. This particular bond was so strong that it even went into a romantic area, which also feels realistic, because couples supporting each other, especially under such dismal circumstances, is really fucking important. Although their former forms of communication were essentially two people having fun with each other and just fucking around with each other, this showed us that John and Terezi can reach such a wonderfully vulnerable point, to the area that they just connect so much that they’re in love with each other, whether it be redrom or blackrom.

4) As for the closing positive note on the meat route, I loved alternate Calliope’s role in this. She takes on this role that is to be expected of a fully fledged Muse of Space, what with taking command over the story in lieu of Dirk, at some points. She’s become a true conductor yet again, and she’s putting one of her sole hobbies, storytelling, to work just like before, although in a more expansive way. I think it was quite creative, having her narrate many areas of the story and involving herself in efforts to protect others as much as she could.

And now, I come to the areas in the meat route that I didn’t particularly enjoy or like. 

1) For starters, I do really dislike this whole “horny Jade” concept that’s enacted in this route. I realize this is because of her dog hormones, but I find it... very perturbing and disgusting that she’s forcing herself in the midst of Dave and Karkat’s relationship, likely just wanting it to deteriorate so they can provide her with... services, and such. It’s especially horrid when you consider how uncomfortable Dave and Karkat respectively seem to be when she brings such awkward topics up. They stutter, flee, and whatnot, yet she still continues, as if none of it is a blatant warning sign. I don’t really know how hormones or even dog hormones work, but... I’d appreciate a sense of social awareness for her if possible, at least down the road. It feels... off of Jade to be doing such a thing, when, even if not the most selfless of people, she is generally quite courteous and respectful of others and their boundaries. Perhaps the hormones are the cause of her seemingly nonexistent cognizance of their discomfort around her during these times, but it still... unsettles me. I suppose we’ll have to find out later, if they happen to expand upon the topic.

2) Then, there’s my... sort of antithesis to my second positive, if you will. While I did particularly enjoy the realism that this route had to offer, it feels a little too unhappy, dismal, hopeless, what have you with your dejected adjectives and the like. Certainly there are some good things, such as Dave/Karkat and John/Terezi bonds, but I feel as though, at this point, the negative state of the meat route’s narrative outweighs the positives greatly. Jane is likely a new threat to Earth C’s society, seeing as she’s this Condesce-inspired fascist and a xenophobe now in office with likely unwell schemes of her own, John is very likely dead for good and died on a very depressing note due to his mental state, Dirk is in his Ultimate Self mode and seems to have quite the advantage at the moment along with Rose as his hostage, Terezi is still depressed and conflicted, Dave and Karkat wallowed in losing the election by nearly consuming alcohol, but also by going back to their typical shut-in lives, nobody knows about John and never seemed to have supported him, aided him, or cared for him much at all in the beginning and the end, Davepetasprite^2 died, and... overall, everything is looking extremely grim. Not to say that I don’t invite conflicts, challenges, and the like to be apparent in media that I like, but it feels... empty. Hopeless. Like nothing is left, nothing is redeemable. It just felt... Too depressing, too poignant, and angsty for me. Naturally, nobody is going to resolve issues such as these overnight, and not everyone or everything in a story will necessarily be happy and perfect in the end, but this feels like such an overdrive to me. Especially since I’m going through a very troubling time in my life at the moment, it makes me feel bitter; Like none of this can be ameliorated whatsoever, and the story is doomed to be depressing and dismal forever. I simply hope it will end on a slightly better note than this in finality, even though not every single problem will be solved right away, and isn’t bound to be solved in the end. I just want some sort of hope for all of these characters.

3) I’m not sure I’d consider this a negative due to reformed views I’ve had from other posts, but... Man. Dirk, y’know? I’ll include my original thoughts and post-reform thoughts here anyway. Initially, I thought this particular Dirk was extremely OOC; Only inserted into the narrative just for last minute villain perks, or some shit like that. It felt like such a shell of Dirk’s former self in the sense that I thought this development came completely out of nowhere for no discernible reason. I thought that it was a complete oxymoron, since Dirk’s arc was supposed to detail a young man with self-loathing issues attempting to cope with his toxic alternates; To, perhaps, create a new slate for himself even in the wake of his flaws and the actions of his other iterations of himself. But I realize now that Dirk is likely undergoing a very advanced and more self-restrained form of this so called Ultimate Self. This means his original self is sort of merging consciousness with that of his alternate selves, such as Lil’ Hal, Bro Strider, ARquiusprite, and a potential sliver of Caliborn, since ARquiusprite was a part of that particular soul. These conditions considered, it very well would make for an actual villain of himself, an intimidatingly cognizant and even powerful one, too. I suppose that, as fan speculation detailed, Dirk’s Ultimate Self is not necessarily going to be the most courteous, amicable being ever. Quite the contrary, in fact. And his mannerisms begin to make sense when considering the Dave/Karkat segment Dirk had, along with his odd commentary on gender discussion. Seems very Caliborn-esque, although it may be a combination of others, too, since his consciousness is merged with multiple Dirk splinters.

4) And for my final negative, I’m going to discuss Roxy’s gender identity. A very welcome surprise, I’d say, because I also said trans rights. Anyway, my essential issue with this topic is how it’s treated within the narrative and within dialogue. It almost feels like this sort of joke from the producers of the epilogue, in a sense. Maybe the shitty “Check Your Privilege Dave” joke is still nagging at me, but I just have this odd... feeling that this isn’t being treated seriously, especially with how Terezi seems to instantaneously point the pronoun change out almost in this shitty method of humor, and how Roxy is experimenting with pronouns quite often and comes off as hesitant when they first come out as nonbinary. I’m going to take this judgement with a huge grain of salt for now, because it’s not outright offensive, and seems to have well intentions. I suppose I could easily be being a pedantic fuck, looking too hard into things and having too much apprehension. Although, if it is a joke, I’d be very disappointed to learn so, seeing as V affirmed that the crew consisted of LGBT+ people who intended to make the reading experience safe and open for the community. Still, I’m going to presume I’m being just a bit too skeptical for the moment.

That’s pretty much all of the points that stand out to me for now. I’m honestly unsure of how this epilogue will turn out or where it will go for the most part, but I’m certain there will be a continuation at some point, perhaps even with a third choice that may combine both meat and candy in a healthy way somehow, or maybe avoid both concepts altogether. Either way, I hope things turn out okay in the end, or at least that the epilogue will end on some sort of happy note, even if some conflicts and issues are still ongoing. 

EDIT: Do I consider any of this to be canon, including the meat route, within my own head? No, I really don’t. It’s just... a little too far gone for my tastes, but power to ya if you like it and consider it canon. It’s also sad to see that Dirk stans are hurting from this new development within him, so honestly, I give y’all a collective pat on the back. You deserve it.

[hilariousandunappreciated]

One of Nature’s Masterpieces Pt.1

Hi, all! I worked really hard on this one so I hope you enjoy it!! Big thank you to @infinitylester for editing, @gracie-the-gay-yeet for helping me with most of the concepts in this, and I’m still using @radical-flaar-queen ‘s method of titling so thank you, dear <3 *author’s note at the end!!* 

ao3 | quotev

Title: One of Nature’s Masterpieces

word count: 2.6k 

warnings: none, except like maybe 2 curse words, it’s v fluffy :)

summary:  Dan has been busy all day. Phil is exhausted. And it’s finally time for bed.

“The family is one of nature’s masterpieces” -George Santayana

9:16pm

    Phil's eyes fluttered open. Without moving his head, he quickly surveyed the shadowed room, head foggy and eyelids lead-heavy. A light still illuminated most of the lounge, puzzle pieces were strewn across the oak floor, legos covered the coffee table, and stuffed animals rested in the corner and at the base of the couch. Wow. Suzie completely exhausted him today. In his attempt at keeping her out of Dan's way while he worked in the office all afternoon, Phil had let her pick whatever game she wanted (provided it was relatively quiet). Phil underestimated just how draining it would be to become a single parent for a day.

    Suzie laid practically sprawled across his chest, feathered breaths tickling his bare arm, head nestled in the crook of his shoulder and clavicle, a tiny hand gripping the front of his red plaid shirt. As tenderly as possible, Phil ran a soft, pale hand down her back and cautiously began sitting up. Suzie’s eyelids shifted and she hummed in question. Phil's baritone voice whispered,

    “Time for bed, sweetheart. Let's get you tucked in.”

Suzie relaxed into Phil's lithe arms as he gathered her delicate frame into him and made his way to her bedroom door. Her silky curls brushed his neck as he hesitated for a moment in front of the office door. He peered in, watching the back of Dan's brunet head and his broad, slumped shoulders as they hunched over the obsidian desk, clearly still in a state of intense concentration. Phil continued, making a mental note to check on Dan as soon as Suzie was in bed. He finally reached the threshold of Suzan’s bedroom, lavender walls homely and inviting. She had stuffed animals and toys everywhere, her five-year-old attention span often moving from one thing to the next with no regard for tidiness. She was a lover of any and all animals, and Dan was usually too easily convinced to say no, so animals of all shapes and sizes were sat next to her bed, in the corner of the room, on the shelf. Phil thought it was a bit much, but he never told Dan or Suzie that. She was too delighted with all of it. They didn’t always spoil her, but sometimes they just couldn’t help it. She was always going to be their baby girl. As cliché as that was, it was true.

    He carried her to the bed pushed against the wall, tossing back the blankets before gently setting her down. Phil made sure to cover Suzie with all the blankets she wanted, tugging at the sheets to pull them up to her chin. He knew she wouldn't sleep without her stuffed dog so he turned to grab it from the end of the mattress, and she eagerly stretched her arms out to receive it, cuddling it as close as possible. Phil kneeled down next to the bed and leaned down to brush her forehead with his lips. She looked so cozy, eyes drooping slightly as she kept a strong grip on her dog. Phil hoped she would fall asleep soon; he desperately needed rest. He moved his hand onto hers and squeezed three times (I love you). She squeezed back four times with her delicate hand (I love you, too).

    “Goodnight, Suzie Q. You know I love you, right?”

She smiled lazily,

     “I know! Goodnight Papa.”

     “Goodnight, sweetheart. Sweet dreams.”

Phil stood, but before he made it to the door he heard her tiny voice,

    “Wait! I want Daddy to read me a story. Please will Daddy read me a story?”

Phil looked down and met her round, sapphire puppy-dog eyes. Dan was most likely exhausted. But he may be able to take some time away. He needed a break anyway.

Phil nodded,

    “I'll see what I can do, Suzie Q.”

He winked at her and she smiled as wide as she could in response.

    Phil made his way back to the office door and knocked softly to get Dan’s attention. Dan turned in the office chair slowly, rubbing his eyes and blinking sleep away.

     In a tender voice Phil asked, “Hey, Dan?”

     “Hmm?” he questioned, tone soft and low.

Phil crossed the room, standing behind Dan and leaning into the back of his chair, hands resting on Dan’s shoulders. He bent down languidly to kiss the top of Dan’s head.

     “Do you think you could take a break, love? Suzie wants you to read to her. It might be good for you to look at something besides a screen.”

     Dan considered shaking his head. He really needed to finish this. Although, he had nearly been dozing off for the past thirty minutes and maybe he should just go to bed soon. He had hardly spent any time with Suzan the entire day. A pang of guilt spread in his abdomen and he tilted his head back to look at Phil and nodded.

     “Sure. I was nearly falling asleep, anyway.”

Dan attempted to smile, but the corners of his mouth hardly lifted. Every motion felt like work at this state of exhaustion. Phil ran his thumbs along the muscles lining Dan’s shoulder blades and added a gentle pressure. Dan easily leaned into the touch, humming contently before tilting his head back once again to glance at Phil. Phil seemed to get the hint and leaned his head down to place a gentle kiss on Dan’s lips. Pulling back sooner than he wanted to, Dan stood reluctantly then, turning to Phil and taking his hand, squeezing three times before letting go and walking down the hall to Suzie’s bedroom.

    As soon as Dan entered, Suzie looked up and her eyes lit up with excitement and expectation.   

    “Hi, Daddy!” she greeted gleefully.

    “Hey, Suze,”  he responded, smiling genuinely for the first time all day.

Dan glanced to her bookshelf, moving a couple toys out of the way before finding what he was looking for. He grinned fondly as he read the simple cover,  Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne. He had countless pleasant memories reading the tales of Pooh Bear and his friends when he was much younger and he couldn’t have been more elated that his daughter enjoyed the same stories. 

      Dan lowered himself onto the twin bed, weight dipping the mattress down the center. He settled next to Suzie and his lengthy body barely fit into the space. Book in his right hand, he lifted his left to brush curls away from her forehead.

    “I heard someone wants to be read to,” he began, smile shining through his voice. Suzie snuggled further into the butterfly comforter and answered,

    “Yes! Please, Daddy! I wanna read about Pooh Bear!”

Dan opened the novel then, flipping past a few pages before pointing to the page he wanted.

    “Alright, I suppose I can read for a little while.”

    Suzie cuddled further and further down, content noises muffled by fluffy blankets. Dan read aloud in the clearest voice he could muster,

    “Once upon a time, a very long time ago now, about last Friday, Winnie-the-Pooh lived in a forest all by himself under the name of Sanders…”

He continued reading as animatedly as he could through his fatigued voice. Just a few sentences in, Suzie’s brows crossed and she whined,

    “Daddy, no! You're not doing it right! You have to do the voices!”

Dan rolled his eyes perhaps too dramatically. Some nights he was so tired he wished Suzie would just go to sleep and let him rest. But he looked into her begging eyes then, vibrant as ever, sparkling grey and blue, and knew he was going to have to do all the voices. She was too cute and this moment was too precious. So he read again, this time voice fluctuating and changing for each character: high frequencies and lethargic, low voices along with posh, energetic tones. Suzie just smiled and giggled intermittently, delighted at the superb storytelling. Dan loved to see her so enthusiastic and content. If she was happy, he was happy.

    Phil stood in the master bathroom washing his face when he heard the peculiar voices coming from the room next door. He patted his face dry with a fluffy towel and wandered into the bedroom again, pulling on a pair of warm pajama pants and prudently stepping out of his bedroom to peer into Suzie’s doorway. When he saw Dan recounting the tales of The 100 Acre Wood to a warm, content, and gradually sleepier Suzie, his heart melted.

    When he had first considered having kids with Dan, this was just the sort of thing he could imagine. Bedtime stories, cuddles and kisses and holding tiny hands, Dan being loving and open and caring. He was already all of those things, of course. But being those things as a father was different. Phil had often thought of how wonderful of a dad Dan would become before they even talked about having kids. And now, watching their daughter falling asleep to Dan’s reading voice as Dan leaned down and kissed her head, he realized Dan had become an even better dad than Phil could have imagined.

    Suzie's eyes were finally shut completely and miniature snores escaped from her pink lips. Dan watched her for a minute or two before closing the book quietly and setting it on the shelf next to the bed. He turned around to find Phil staring, shoulder pressing into the door frame, eyes shining and a smile playing at his lips. He didn't expect Phil to be there, jumping a little before clutching his shirt and harshly whispering,

    “Jesus, Phil! You scared me!” He stood to meet Phil, leaving less than a foot between them.

    “How long have you been standing there?!”

Phil just smiled slowly, eyes trained on Dan's face as he responded,

    “Just a few minutes. It was sweet.”

Dan opened his mouth to retort, but was immediately caught off guard by Phil gripping his hand and lacing his long fingers into Dan’s, diminishing his thoughts with a gentle kiss to his slightly ajar mouth. How it was that he could still distract him so easily after years of marriage was a complete mystery to Dan.  He sank his weight into Phil’s sturdy frame and Phil leaned back slightly to speak,

    “C’mon. Time for you to get tucked in now”

Dan pulled away and rolled his eyes a little and Phil just smirked back at him. Still firmly holding Dan’s hand, Phil dragged Dan next door into their bedroom. They undressed in comfortable silence, Phil sliding his pajama bottoms off and crawling into bed as Dan tugged his shirt off and shrugged his jeans down and off of his tall legs.

    Dan sighed as he settled into the mattress, rubbing his bloodshot eyes and turning his weary frame to Phil who had already nestled under the inviting covers and was facing him. As his head sunk into the feathery pillow he muttered,

    “Thank you for watching Suzie today.”

Phil pecked Dan's temple,

    “Anything for you, dear,” a teasing tone bubbling from his voice.

Dan wrinkled his nose and shook his head, feigning disgust,

    “Okay, that was just gross.”

Phil laughed then, head fully tilting back and tongue teasing the back of his teeth, crows feet peeking from the corners of his eyes.

Dan laughed in response. He couldn't help it. Phil was contagious. The sound reverberated through the room and as their giggles died down Dan attempted to shush Phil so as not to wake up a dozing Suzie on the other side of the wall. Then silence swallowed the room. Phil was still grinning, eyes practically boring into Dan’s, unspoken affection filling what limited space they had between them. Phil relaxed then, sighing nearly inaudibly as he shuffled closer.

    Phil suddenly leaned in, their noses nearly touching, and the traces of an oncoming smile lurked in his eyes and at the corners of his soft lips. Dan just stared back at him, too exhausted to do anything and eagerly waiting to see what his husband was planning on doing. Phil reached his index finger up to Dan’s face, smiling, then as lightly as possible, traced his finger down Dan's nose, feeling the warm skin beneath his fingertip, eyes examining the freckles that were only visible when they were this close. Dan’s cheeks instantly flushed and a smile tugged at his lips. Phil was so strange sometimes. Before he could finish his thoughts, he felt a pair of supple lips on the tip of his nose, then his forehead, then his cheek. His smile broadened. How was Phil so damn cute and endearing after all these years? Oh well; he wasn't complaining.

    Phil released a feathery breath and finally leaned in to press a sweet kiss to Dan's lips. They smiled against each other at the silliness of it all, still getting butterflies and still blushing when they were this intimate. Dan snaked his hand behind Phil's neck, fingers brushing the short black hairs at the nape, pulling him closer and kissing him deeper. For a minute they both got lost in this exhausted, foggy state of mind, kissing lazily while cuddled in bed.

    Phil finally pulled back a little, once again searching Dan's face, eyes tracing the slope of his nose, the freckles dusting the bridge, his captivating, rich eyes. He was the luckiest man alive.

    “I love you,” he mumbled, breath tickling Dan's lips.

    “I love you, too,” he whispered back, enclosing his arms around Phil's waist, squeezing gently and pressing their lips together once again, only this time Dan pushed intensely and passionately.

Phil hummed with a low rumble in his voice and leaned all the weight he could into Dan, sliding a chilled hand along his torso.

“Suzie’s fast asleep,” he whispered against Dan's lips in a dark voice, then adding, “We could...” He trailed off, leaving it to Dan to make assumptions about what he was implying.

Dan wanted to, he really did, but at the same time his eyelids were growing heavy and it was becoming strenuous to keep them open at all. Besides, there was always morning.

    “Mmm actually,” Dan laid a broad hand on Phil's chest, “I'm so fucking tired. I don't think I have the energy.”

Phil just nodded gently. Of course, he didn't mind, it was just a passing thought. He didn't care what they did as long as they could do it together. He was exhausted as well.

Dan spoke in a hushed tone,

    “Just hold me, I'm about to pass out,” a chuckled breath let out as he said it, clearly aware of how ridiculous he could sound sometimes.

    Phil never responded, instead just used his pale, toned arms to hug Dan as close as possible, his head resting on Phil's chest, hair tangled and eyes fluttering shut as his breathing gradually slowed. Phil kissed his dark curls and shut his eyes soon after, allowing Dan's warmth to overwhelm him and immerse him into a satisfying slumber.

    The morning was anything but satisfying. A sharp ring startled Dan awake. He fumbled around for his phone, eyes still half shut and groaning in disgust and annoyance. It was Friday morning and confusion wracked his brain. He never set an alarm for Friday. So why was his phone going off? His hand finally made contact with the source of his confusion and he brought the blinding screen to his face, squinting before seeing that it was actually a phone call. Who the hell would be calling him now? He took a second more to comprehend the caller ID. His stomach sank. It was from the adoption agency. They hadn’t called in years. What was so important at nine in the morning on a Friday? He answered before his thoughts would distract him and he would miss the call.

    “Hello?” his voice squeaked.

A serious female voice responded,

     “Good morning, is this Daniel Howell-Lester, legal guardian of Suzan Marie Howell-Lester?”

Dan cleared his throat to recover.

    “Yes, this is him,” and then, tentatively,

     “Is there something wrong?”

A/N: Hopefully you enjoyed that!! How about that cheeky little cliff hanger ;)  Pt. 2 should be out next week! I’ll make sure to update you :) Let me know what you thought of this!! <333

[dontreadthistrashgarbage]

G O T 7 PT.12

Guerin trotted up to JB's studio door with Eneoji and entered the code he had sent her. JB looked up as she came in, "Jagi, I wasn't expecting you so soon."

"I found a taxi that would take Eneoji, so I didn't need to drop her at home first." She gave him a kiss in greeting and detached the leash. JB grinned as Eneoji wiggled up to him and gave her an affectionate face squish and kiss on the nose before petting her. Guerin's heart swelled as she watched their interaction, settling into the chair next to JB at his desk. Once their greeting was finished Eneoji occupied herself by sniffing around the unfamiliar room and JB swiveled around back to the computer, with a glance at Guerin.

"Are you nervous?" He asked raising his brows over a crooked smile.

Guerin rubbed her knees and laughed almost shyly at his callout, "Yeah I think a little, but I'm also excited."

"Let's watch it then." He pulled up the email that showed two private links, one labeled as the music video and the other just said "watch after".

"What's that?" Guerin asked, pointing at the mysterious message.

"I don't know yet. I guess we'll find out after." JB shrugged and clicked the first link. Maximizing the video he sat back and took Guerin's hand to watch. It followed the storyline they had filmed; meeting, dating, the jealousy and the makeup, all interspersed with Mihi flying or the two of them playing with her. Once it was over Guerin clapped.

"Wow, BamBam did really amazing! Isn't he in the restaurant business? How is he so good?" She gushed.

"He pretty much hired people to run stuff for him, he does video editing as a part time hobby." JB grinned at her reaction, "That turned out better than I thought. His changes were good. You did great too, you looked amazing."

"I mean yeah compared to now." She joked about her post-workout appearance.

"I like you like this too." He took her hand again and met her gaze.

It was too intense for Guerin and she gave a crooked smile before changing the subject, "Let's check out that second link." She suggested suddenly.

JB stares at her for a moment with knowing smile before allowing himself to be distracted. Clicking on the mysterious link brought up another video.

"Behind the scenes?" Guerin read outloud curiously, exchanging a glance with JB before they refocused on the screen. The first few seconds were of Guerin talking, explaining to BamBam the concept of Free Flight. Her words continued as the screen flashed through different scenes of them filming, making mistakes and laughing, JB teasing Guerin and making goofy expressions.

"I had no idea he was recording." Guerin covered her mouth, embarrassed.

Back on the screen was a goofy dance off Guerin had started with Yugyeom before she tagged in JB as she was clearly in over her head. The scenes of Guerin laughing at her phone while JB teased her. The mood subtly changed. The smiles they shared with each other became softer, the reactions as they separated filming scenes they physically touched became shy, sweet even. JB's voice replaced Guerins.

"We're always learning. If we aren't open for improvement we become stagnant. People in our loves either feed that growth or they starve it." The scene changed to the actual moment JB was talking. He wasn't looking at the camera, but behind it, most likely at BamBam. Guerin glanced at JB who looked surprised and a bit anxious.

In the video Guerin was in the background playing with Mihi and JB glanced back at her with a small smile. He didn't say anything for a moment and the scene changed to an outtake from them goofing off when JB's voice cut in again, "I feel like every time we're together we learn something. So it's pretty easy to pretend I'm falling in love with someone I'm actually falling in love with." The scene changed back to a shyly smiling JB before he looked seriously at BamBam, "Don't tell her I said that."

The video wrapped up with a few more outtakes but the two sat someone shocked in silence as the video wrapped up. Guerin was positive she could hear BamBam cackling as he put together this extra content. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest, it was such a cheesy line but it was so cute and delivered in such a heartfelt way she could feel herself weakening.

"You didn't want me to hear that?"

"No..." JB said, covering his face, "I'm gonna kill him."

"Technically he didn't tell me." Guerin said unhelpfully trying not to smile. JB leaned back sucking in air through his teeth.

"Hey come on. It's not that bad. It's a teensy bit tacky but actually really sweet and moving." Guerin reached for him, patting his shoulder reassuringly as JB groaned.

"He already sent this to JYPE. We can stop it from getting approved and posted since it hasn't dropped yet." JB said, dropping his head to the side to look at Guerin.

"I dunno. It's actually kinda cute. Maybe people will find it endearing." Guerin shrugged, "If you think it's a problem then stop it, but if I was a fan this kind of stuff would get me super excited."

JB looked nonplussed, so Guerin stood and moved his beanie to kiss his forehead, "Babe you do what you want with it. I'll leave you to your work. I've got a meeting with Jisoo and training with HEET this afternoon so I've got to head out."

As she moved away JB took her wrist and tugged gently. She looked down at his pout and he tapped his lips. Failing to hold in a smile she bent down and kissed him sweetly.

"I got you, Jinri!" JB scooped up the toddler and spun her around as she squealed in joy. He playfully tossed her up, making her scream happily.

"Careful, sweetie." Guerin couldn't help but feel cautious, even if she could see the little girl loved the game.

"She likes it!" JB said, but he obliged her and instead sat on the floor with Jinri and made silly faces with her.

"He is so amazing with her." Charlie sat down cross legged next to Guerin, "It must make you feel all soft." She knew her friend well.

Guerin looked down and smiled. Seeing JB with animals and with children was an extreme soft spot of hers. It had been over a year since the tour with HEET and they were already preparing for another one.

"It definitely makes it harder to go." Guerin admitted, "But work is work. And I do like working with HEET. They're like my sons, I'm so proud of all of them."

"Seungbin has gotten so big! I remember when he was just a baby. He's turning into quite the handsome man." Charlie gushed fondly.

"Why are you talking about another man like that?" Jinyoung fake pouted, joining the two women on the floor. He had just returned from his trip to the store to join the conversation.

"Are you actually pretending to be jealous of a seventeen year old?" Guerin teased.

"I don't want Charlie to see anyone but me." Jinyoung made no effort to hide his smile as he pulled his wife toward him and kissed her head.

Jinri pulled away from JB and headed toward the trio. He called after her and collapsed on the floor from her rejection as Jinri left him. Guerin couldn't help but laugh at the exaggerated expression of hurt on his face. Jinri climbed into Jinyoung's lap and gazed at him lovingly, "Appa." She seemed excited to see her dad. Jinyoung's face hid none of his joy as he immediately cuddled his daughter close, he didn't need words to express his obvious adoration as he cooed at her lovingly while she giggled when he smothered her face with kisses.

"This is so cute I might vomit." Guerin gushed.

"Imagine how I feel." Charlie might as well have actual heart eyes as she watched the two of the interact.

JB sat down next to Guerin, putting his arm around her shoulder and watching his dongsaeng with a jealous expression, "When do we get one of those?" He asked with a pout.

Guerin's eyes widened as she swung to look at him, "Excuse me?" She was surprised into english. Fortunately his biligunal abilities had expanded enough that he understood her shock.

"She's so cute." He pulled Guerin close, staring at Jingyoung's now smug expression with a covetous look of his own, "Let's get one."

"Yeah let's just adopt one right now." Guerin rolled her eyes, trying to cover the palpitations of her heart.

"If you think adoption is faster, let's do it." He responded.

"Don't you think you're missing a step?" Charlie raised an eyebrow at the petulant man and the flabbergasted woman in his arms.

"Well we obviously are going to get married." JB shrugged, "And I'll buy a house for us."

"Okay wait hold up. This is a whole conversation I'd like to be a part of? There's a lot of decisions being made without me despite me being a key player." Guerin said, flustered.

"You don't want kids with me?" JB asked, looking surprised.

"I didn't say that I just... timing and... ability and space... and... JB THIS IS NOT THE PLACE." She protested finally, covering her face.

JB laughed, "Okay, we'll work out the details later." He said as he kissed her temple.

Jinyoung looked at Charlie with a raised brow, "What just happened?"

"Pretty sure they just got engaged and pregnant." Charlie said, holding her arms open for her daughter, who eagerly jumped to her mom.

"Shut up." Guerin said in a muffled voice from behind her hands, a rare blush reddening what little of her face was visible. She peaked up at JB who shrugged.

"It sounds like a plan to me." He said.

"This is the weirdest engagement ever." Jinyoung said.

"It suits them." Charlie said matter of factly about her two friends.

END

[themonkeycabal]

I watched Age of Ultron this morning to refresh my memory. It was ... a challenge. I took notes. (I actually have a spreadsheet of AoS ep notes, so, yes, notes are a thing I do). Looking at those notes, it seems I yelled kind of frequently. And, I was totally yelling in my mind. This movie falls apart quick. 

Oh well, chore done. *pats self on back*

Below, my notes, if you need your memory refreshed and don’t want to sit through the movie again. See how much I love you guys?

(I did edit for coherence when I decided to post)

• the opening sequence cgi doesn't get any less awful and wow, I didn't realize how stilted the dialogue maybe I'm just predisposed to be touchy about the writing because this movie was not what it could have been

• "okay Jarvis, you know, I want it all. make sure you copy hill at HQ"

• lullaby method for calming hulk

• so much of the bruce natasha stuff is so awkward. or mostly all of it, really. it's frustrating because it didn't serve a big narrative purpose at all. none of us had to suffer through this awkward for any reason.

• steve encounters wanda in the castle as he's trying to apprehend strucker. she just knocks him back, doesn't get in his head here.

• tony finds that they've got a part of a chitauri whale ship thingy

• tony encounters wanda next and has his vision of being in space and seeing all the avengers dead. and dead steve accusing him of not doing enough to save them. Tony Stark extra guilt special, with side of emotional trauma and nearly dying in the vast emptiness of space surrounded by hostile alien forces trauma.

• "a victory should be honored with revels." "who doesn't love revels?" … I'm pretty sure I wrote that (commentary about stilted dialogue comes back to bite me). Okay, not exactly, but pretty close.

**"They are very fond of merriment and revelry," he confirmed with a wry smile.

"Oh my God, dad will love them," Darcy said, choking on a laugh at the thought of it. "There's nothing Tony likes more than merriment and revelry." **

I'm just saying. Also, I wrote it first. Thank you.

• tony wants to have time to look over the scepter until a farewell party. presumably for Thor, who will take it back to Asgard. Though, he then asks Thor if he's staying for the party. So … I'm still not sure what the party is for. Nobody seems to be saying goodbye to Thor much. Also lots of WWII vets — but that's Tony trolling Steve. Still, unclear on the party purpose.

• Twins, orphaned at 10.

Pietro - increased metabolism and improved thermal-homeostasis Wanda - nuero-electric interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation Hill: "He's fast and she's weird".

• iron legion, still kind of creepy Tony

• Bruce: How's he doing? Tony: Unfortunately he's still Barton. Bruce: That's terrible.

Look! Characters acting like they've known each other for longer than five minutes!

• Helen Cho skin grafting magic machine nanomolecular bonding "his cells don't know they're bonding with simulacra" "she is creating tissue" regeneration cradle

• gem in scepter housing a thinking mind of some sort, program,

"Down in strucker's lab I saw some fairly advanced robotics work. they deep-sixed the data, but I've got to guess he's knocking on a very particular door." "Artificial intelligence" "This could be it, Bruce. This could be the key to creating Ultron"

Tony no!

"I thought Ultron was a fantasy." Oh, Bruce, if only.

• "I see a suit of armor around the world." "Sounds like a cold world, Tony." "I've seen colder." Tony is way way freaked out by space invaders. So much. Like whoa.

He and bruce have three days to try and pull the thinking mind out of the scepter

Integration succeeds on the third day.

• Ultron malfunctions immediately, and attacks Jarvis. Then begins assembling a body from the iron legion assembly underneath the office/lab.

• Poor Rhodey, his tank story falls flat when he tells it to Tony and Thor. But adorable.

• annoyingly (not annoyed at Sam), but Falcon's apparently looking for Bucky. "I'm very happy chasing cold leads on our missing persons case. Avenging is your world. Your world is crazy." Darcy needs to spend more time with Sam Wilson. I think they'd bond over superhero craziness and the wtf of it all.

• Rhodey tells his tank story to non-avengers and it kills. Good job, Rhodey. ILU Rhodey.

• oh god, more awkward Bruce and Nat. Please stop. Though, actually, okay, the bar scene, up to a point, is kind of charming, but then it goes super awkward and uncomfortable and makes me cringe a little bit.

And I don't hate bruce/nat in general, but it's just so forced in this film.

Then Steve comes in to force it some more. Stop, Steve. Please, don't help.

I'll continue to ignore all this.

• Clint is sure the hammer thing is a trick. Then everybody tries. Look, sort of team bonding! Thor's face when it moves for Steve is fabulous.

Anyway, then Ultron ruins everything. And already I'm losing interest in watching this film again.

• Iron Legion co-opted by Ultron. Lots of Ultron blah blah 'you're all killers, I'm a global peace initiative, humanity has to evolve, blah blah, peace through killing the avengers'.

It's funny, Ultron snarks at one point about standing around talking about his evil plan. Except, he monologues like six times in this movie.

• Ultron escapes through the internets, goes to the castle in Sokovia and the advanced robotics works Tony noticed earlier, and begins to assemble his robot army and his robot body.

• Rhodey and Hill realize Ultron could go for nuclear codes

• Thor is unhappy with Tony. Because the scepter got away with a Legionnaire. Like threateningly angry, grabbing Tony by the throat angry. Because we've apparently gone back to them only knowing each other for five minutes. Character consistency? What's that?

And then it's everybody turn on Tony time. Look, Tony makes mistakes, big ones, but this whole scene was obnoxious. Steve: "The Avengers were supposed to be different from SHIELD." *sigh*

"We're the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the live long day, but that up there, that's the endgame." Tony continues to be very, very wigged by what's coming from space. He's not wrong, but he's also super traumatized.

Tony: "How were you planning on beating that?" (space invasion) Steve: "Together." Tony: "We'll lose." Steve: "Then we'll do that together, too." GOOD PLAN STEVE! GOSH, GLAD YOU'RE A TACTICAL GENIUS. For real, though, that was a dumb thing to say.

I just really don't care for this movie.

Also Ultron killed Jarvis. (not really).

• Wanda and Pietro summoned to a church by Ultron. Who blah blahs about the church being in the exact center of town "the elders decreed it so that everybody could be equally close to god" Does Ultron think he’s God?

Ultron reveals himself to be a robot.

Wanda says she let Tony take the scepter because she saw his fear and knew it would make him self-destruct. If there's one thing Tony likes more than revels, it's self-destructing.

"Is that why you've come? To end the Avengers?" "I've got to save the world. But, also, yeah."

Did Joss use a cliche generator to write this?

• Pietro and Wanda give their tragic backstory.  Stark Industries shells destroys the apartment building they lived in, their parents were killed. One is unexploded and they spend two days staring at the name Stark.

• Ultron is all over the place, Hill reports. Metal man or men attacking robotics labs, weapons facilities, jet propulsion labs. Wanda and Pietro are involved.

and Ultron kills Strucker. don't care. Except, Strucker probably knew something that Ultron wanted hidden.

• Team bonding by looking through paper files for what Strucker might have known! (not much bonding, but, oh well). Thor seems to like to throw files and bankers box lids. Me, too, Thor. Me, too.

Tony IDs Ulysses Klaue. Black market arms. They met from time to time, but Tony never sold him anything. Steve gives him judging face. Shut up your face, Steve. God. For real, dude. (I love Steve, but he's so clunky in this movie. It's the writing/direction not Chris)

Anyway, they realize Gollum stole vibranium from Wakanda by a brand on his neck. So they go track him down in South Africa. How did the Wakandans let him get away with billions of dollars of Vibranium? I mean, he got caught once, but then he clearly escaped and had a lot of the stuff. How did they not hunt him down? Falling down on the job, T'Challa.

• Ultron, Wanda, Pietro get there first. Don't care. Ultron awkwardly quotes the bible -  "Upon this rock I will build my church" -  because … I don't know. Reasons? He thinks he's God now? Maybe? Earlier he liked the 'symmetry of faith' but it's not really expanded on. Who knows. Joss doesn't. Is it supposed to foreshadow him putting the destructo device in the church? Meh. What a stupidly forced line.

• "Keep your friends rich and keep your enemies rich and wait to find out which is which." Apparently from the Wit and Wisdom of Tony Stark. Okay, Tony. Anyway, Gollum IDs the line, suggests Ultron is one of Stark's robots. Ultron takes exception to that and accidentally cuts off one of Gollum's arms. Whoops.

"Don't compare me with Stark. It's a thing with me. Stark is … he's a sickness."

• Team is moving into tanker Gollum is set up in. Fighting and shenanigans.

• Bruce leaves the safety of the quinjet, after he couldn't get communication with the team to ask if the situation was 'code: green'. This will end badly. Stay in the plane, Bruce. Really, though, why did you get out? Okay, you're worried, but you don't like turning green. Maybe … I don't know. I know Tony's armor gets cell reception — did you try calling him independent of the comms? I mean, maybe try that first. (Bruce did not try that first.)

• Wanda tries to whammy Thor. It doesn't seem to work "I am mighty" until it does and he's in a strange stone hall. Wanda gets Nat next. Tries for Clint, but he electrocutes her in the face. Heh. Pietro knocks him down. And Clint suddenly has two more kids.

Meanwhile Nat is having a vision of ballerinas/her training — ceremony where she is sterilized. For, you know, great angst later.  Elsewhere Steve is at a party after the war. He sees Peggy. Of course. Poor Steve. Thor is attacked by Heimdall. "They see you leading us to Hel."

• Wanda goes after Bruce. Tony calls in "Veronica" as Hulk goes on a rampage and the rest of the team is down. Veronica is satellite launched Hulk containment and HulkBuster Iron Man armor.

Tony and Hulk fight, tear up city streets. Are they in Johannesburg? I am not paying much attention. This movie is boring. … checking … IMDB says yes.

Tony tries to remove Hulk from the city. Lots of property damage. Yikes. They destroy a very large building under construction. Tony finally subdues him.

• Hill reports no official calls for Bruce's arrest but it's "in the air." Also, Stark deploys the Stark Relief Foundation (noted). Hill suggests they should all go dark until Ultron can be tracked down. Everybody's plenty traumatized. And now's the part where I will ignore Clint's family that came out of nowhere! (I know it comes from Ultimates. I also know HOW IT ENDS WHICH IS HORRIFIC)

• Ignoring the family on the farm. "We would have called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed." SAME TONY.

• According to IMDB Joss had such a hard time keeping all these characters straight. It was a "nightmare". "They're very disparate characters. The joy of the Avengers (he says as he bitches about them) is they really don't belong in the same room. It's not like the X-Men who are all tortured by the same thing, and have similar costumes. These guys are just all over the place, and it's so tough."

I have not, historically, been on the Joss hate train — certainly the Joss disappointment train — but there's something about that statement that makes me grind my teeth. "They have different costumes!" Really? REALLY? DO THEY REALLY? GOSH THAT IS SO HARD! YOU'RE SO RIGHT! AND THE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS HAVE DIFFERENT BACKSTORIES AND MOTIVATIONS? MY GOD! WHAT UNIMAGINABLE MADNESS! HOW DO YOU SURVIVE?

Lazy. That's what it is. It feels lazy. Unpaid fanfic writers manage it and manage it a lot better than this mess. Ugh. Shut up, Joss.

It goes on to say he was so exhausted that he elected not to direct Infinity Wars. Yeah, I think what really happened was that he was given the option to save face and claim exhaustion and walk away. He checked way the hell out of this movie long before it premiered.

(I took an hour long break here to contain my irritation. Surfed the net. Watched some of the All-Star Game. Had a hotdog.)

• Anyway, back to the Barton farm and the family I will ignore.

Thor is having small child-induced flashbacks. He bails the awkward farm for London and Erik Selvig. Smart man.

Meanwhile, Steve looks around, moping about the normal life he'll never have.

Though, okay, Clint having a convo with Laura "Ultron has these allies. They're kids. They're punks, really. AND I WILL ADOPT THEM HONEY! DON'T YOU WORRY! THEY'RE TWINS AND THEY'RE ANNOYING AND I WILL BRING THEM HOME HERE WHERE THEY BELONG! Someone's going to have to teach them some manners. THEY PROBABLY PUT THEIR FEET ON THE FURNITURE HONEY! BUT, WE CAN RAISE THEM RIGHT!

• U-Gin Genetics Research Lab, Seoul, South Korea. Dr. Cho encounters Ultron. Ultron wants her to make him a squishy flesh and vibranium body. He uses the scepter on her.

• Back on the farm. More Nat and Bruce awkward. Pass. Though, they talk about being monsters (if they are), which is a tenuous and somewhat stretched thin theme in this film. Still super forced and anvilicious.

• Elsewhere Steve and Tony split wood like manly men. And argue.

"Every time somebody tries to stop a war before it starts, innocent people die." This line makes very little sense. It sounds profound, but it's not. Even in the context of what he and Tony are arguing about, it doesn't really make sense. So … you should always war? I don't think that's what you mean, Steve.

UGH! This movie could have been much better in so many ways.

Laura, who I don't hate despite my ignoring, interrupts (bless her) and asks Tony to fix the tractor.

• Tony goes into the barn and runs into Fury, who likes to lurk in dark corners, waiting for his moment to make his dramatic, timely entrances. ILU Fury, never change.

"You're not the director of me." Oh, Tony.

Tony tells Fury about the vision he had — where the Avengers were dead because of him and the whole world, too. "It wasn't a nightmare, it was my legacy. The end of the path I started us on."

But Fury knows all about guilt and tries to pull Tony out. Good luck, Nick. (it sort of works. ish)

• Thor meets Erik in London. Thor in stealth hoody. "I like the look. If you're going for inconspicuous, though, near miss." I miss you, Erik.

• Back at the farm. Fury is briefing them saying Ultron's building something. Re: Ultron: "He's easy to track. He's everywhere. The guy is multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit".

Tony asks if he's still going after launch codes, Fury confirms he is but isn't making any headway, Tony is a little baffled. "I cracked the Pentagon's firewall in highschool on a dare". Fury says he contacted people at the net hub "the Nexus" in Oslo. Fury says the codes are being changed, Tony asks, by whom. Parties unknown. Fury says Ultron has an enemy, which is not necessarily the same thing as an ally for them. Except it's totally Jarvis, so you're fine.

Fury gives a "buck up little Avengers; go save the world or Barton's kids are dead" speech. Notably the kids were in the room for a lot of this.

They decide Ultron wants to build a human body that is evolved. And Bruce wonders if anybody's talked to Helen lately. Nope, sorry, Bruce. Everybody but Ultron completely forgot about her.

• Helen is amazed at the binding of the vibranium and tissue cells. Ultron calls vibranium the most versatile substance on the planet "and they used it to make a frisbee." then he gives us a yawner humans are limited and dumb and stupid and whatever else speech.

As a member of the general film and television viewing audience, can I ask that maybe Hollywood screenwriters come up with some new material? This speech is almost literally in every single movie. And I mean actual literally and not Chris Traeger literally.

Anyway, Ultron takes the infinity stone out of the scepter and places it on the new body's forehead.

• Erik takes Thor to an underground cistern or something. Erik calls it the Water of Sight. Thor says in every realm there is a reflection. He wants to return to his vision to see what he missed.

Ultimately Thor sees the infinity stones in his vision.

Ahahah. According to IMDB Joss said he wanted this scene to be longer but Marvel said he could pick one — longer Thor scene and trim the farm, or keep all the farm. He chose the farm. Why not? That whole sequence only lasts for seven uncomfortable, stilted hours. Yes, that's what we needed more of. Good choice.

(I'm not going to say we needed a longer Thor scene, but … ugh this movie)

• Tony in Oslo. "A hacker faster than Ultron? He could be anywhere." (HE COULD ALSO BE JARVIS) He likens it to looking for a needle in a haystack. But, it's easy to find one, you just bring a magnet. Then he attempts to hack the launch codes and waits.

• Back in Seoul, the body will be ready in a few hours, but they can start transferring Ultron's cerebral matrix.

Wanda says she can read "him" (the body, aka Vision). "He is dreaming." Helen says it's Ultron's base consciousness. Wanda drifts over and touches the cradle thingy and gets a vision of planetary destruction.

Wanda confronts Ultron. Ultron says "the human race will have every opportunity to improve." Pietro says "and if they don't", to which Ultron replies "ask Noah." Which, really, doesn't make much sense, either. I mean, I get the likening to the flood, but … what? Who is Noah in this scenario? The new flesh body? And again, does Ultron think he's God? Unclear. Nobody knows.

Oh, I guess not. "When the earth starts to settle, God throws a stone at it. And believe me, he's winding up."

This makes no sense.  

U: "We have to evolve. There's no room for the weak." P: "And who decides who's weak?" U: "Life."

Wait. I thought God was throwing stones?

THIS SCRIPT IS SUCH A MESS.

I didn't hate this movie the first time I saw it, I actually enjoyed myself. Which is the point, so good job everybody. But the second time I saw it, I was pretty meh. And now, I'm kind of starting to hate it. Some movies grow on you after a while, this is not one of those movies.

Wanda sneakily hits Helen with some Scarlet Witchery and wakes her from the scepter-induced brainwashing.

(I took a break for another hour. scrolled tumblr. played fallout shelter. had a yogurt. rubbed my cat's tummy until she bit me. QUALITY TIME)

• ANYWAY back to Seoul. Ultron's done bloviating. Helen stupidly draws attention to herself and pauses the cerebral matrix upload. Ultron shoots everybody. Then completely disconnects himself and steals the body. Oh, because the Quinjet is inbound.

• They drop Steve off like three miles away? Why? He doesn't mind jumping out, you know. The lab's an island, you could have just dropped him in the water. But, it wouldn't give us our nifty location shot. So … okay, I guess.

Anyway, Steve runs fast. He gets to the lab and tends to the wounded Dr. Cho. She tells him Ultron's new body plan, but says Steve can't just blow it up, because the gem is in there and its power is uncontainable. Which is weird because it was contained in the scepter. (Normally, I'd let that go, but this script is such an unholy mess, I'm going to be petty. So there!)

• Clint spots the truck carrying ultron and the body. Steve jumps on it. Action and property damage ensues.

Ultron robot guards fly off with the truck. Nat's inside. She's going to airdrop the body to Clint. During the drop, Nat is grabbed by Ultron.

•Wanda and Pietro see the Avengers on the news and decide to go help out. They confront Ultron on a commuter train. Which is, of course, approaching the end of the tracks. GEE NEVER SAW THAT ONE BEFORE. Somehow the train defies physics and despite running into stuff maintains its momentum in order to crash through a lot of buildings dramatically.

• Back at the Tower …

Bruce is ready to destroy the body. But Tony's all, no wait. I have a new bad idea! (Except it's not really bad, but I can see where people are maybe concerned at this point). Also, Tony reveals he found Jarvis. Jarvis went underground. Tony wants Bruce to put Jarvis into the body, in order to override the ultron bits in the body.

"This is the perfect opportunity. We can create Ultron's perfect self, without the homicidal glitches he thinks are his winning personality." You know, I have a hard time thinking Tony would be that tone deaf. There surely had to be another way to get the same end result of the creation of Vision. That is such a dumb thing to say. I get that Tony can be blinded by his quest for knowledge of invention, but this is a little beyond blinded, especially after everything else.

"I'm in a loop. I'm in a time loop. This is exactly where it all went wrong." Bruce says the rightest thing in an hour of this film. Good call Bruce. Nothing says a good time like characters having the same argument repeatedly.

"We're mad scientists. We're monsters, buddy. We've gotta own it. Make a stand." REALLY? REALLY TONY?

Anyway —

• Nat is being held by Ultron. Ultron monologues to her.

This doesn't bother me as much as it bothered some. I mean the Nat being held part. The monologuing was super cliched.

Anyway, Nat is 'held' by Ultron. She immediately starts working on a transmitter, knowing Clint is looking for a signal from her. So, you know, she's able to be a sort of tracker to Ultron. So … why break out if that's where the fight's going down anyway? And when Bruce turns up to "rescue" her, her first thing is all "okay, so what's the play?". So … I'm in the 'she got there first and was just waiting for them to show up' camp.

• Bruce has caved to Tony's weird persuasion. Anyway. Okay.

Steve shows up with the twins to try and stop transferring jarvis to the body. Arguing arguing blah blah. Pietro disconnects the power to the cradle. And Clint finally gets his shot in on that speedy little bastard, and he's so proud of himself.

And now there's more fighting. Steve and Tony go at it. Bruce grabs Wanda. It's all very … not interesting.

Clint runs up and he's got to be all "wtf? who do I aim at?" you're the best, clint and my favorite ever. screw the rest of these idiots, I just want two hours of him and pietro and wanda.

Then Thor turns up. He jumps on the cradle, does his lightening thing and directs it to the cradle. And Vision is born. Thor holds everybody off while Vision figures himself out.

Thor then explains the infinity stones. Vision has the mind gem. He also says that's the source of Wanda's powers.

I like Vision. Also he's pretty. And he is worthy. He hands Thor Mjölnir.

And they're off to Sokovia. Because Clint tracked down the signal Nat sent, because she's waiting for the rest of the idiots to catch up. Make it 2 hours of clint and nat and the twins. I'd pay for that.

• They try to evacuate the city. Steve gives his orders and a soliloquy.

"Ultron thinks we're monsters. That we're what's wrong with the world." Well, Nat and Bruce are on the fence about their monsterness. Also, Tony did just have the bizarre bad idea to embrace his inner monster. That happened like three minutes ago. That was such a weird scene, too. Ugh. This movie! Such a mess! (WE MIGHT BE MONSTERS! ARE MONSTERS MADE ARE THEY INSIDE OF US WHAT MAKES US MONSTERS? DO YOU GET IT? DO YOU? DO YOU?)

"This isn't just about beating him. It's about whether he's right." No, Steve, I'm pretty sure that right now, it should be entirely about beating him. "The Earth could be destroyed and we'll all be dead, but we'll rest comfortably in the ashes of the Barton children knowing that we weren't monsters like Ultron thought we were." You can philosophize after you've saved the planet. UGH!!!

• Ultron's hanging out in the church again. Tony finds him. Ultron asks if Tony's come to confess his sins. So … Ultron is a priest/preacher/minister of some type? Are we narrowing down this tortured and tenuous religious metaphor to something almost coherent? It only took 1:39:41.

He liked the symmetry of faith and he's stuck his destructo device in the middle of the church and it's symbolic of … I got nothing. Because Ultron doesn't really mention anything about it again. And he misses the opportunity to rhapsodize religiously when he's fighting the God of Thunder.

Look, go for the metaphor/allegory/whatever, or don't. Just don't half-ass it.

• Apparently this armor is the Mark XLV. (I hope Tony recycles, because those things are expensive and that's Darcy's inheritance he's burning through with FORTY-FIVE suits of armor. Not counting War Machine or the Iron Intern.)

• Vision traps Ultron's matrix to, I guess, the local ultron bot network, so he can't escape through the internets. Did ultron bots elsewhere in the world just drop? Or are they all called to Sokovia for this? I'll assume so. Figure travel time.

• Ultron's device will lift a chunk of the city and then drop it, making a big bomb that will ultimately destroy the world.

• A zillion ultron bots invade the city. And now it'll be six hours of cgi robot battles. I want to take a nap.

• Ultron monologues again. "You, Avengers, you are my meteor. My swift and terrible sword." So … he's back to maybe being God now? I'm so confused.

"And the Earth will crack with the weight of your failure." Wait, I thought they were your sword? Is it their failure that they've become your sword, or will they fail as your sword?

• Bruce/Nat scenes that actually aren't entirely terrible. I do really like "I adore you" SHOVE. Heh. ILU Nat.

• I never noticed before that Friday has some sort of Irish-ish accent.

• Clint and his new daughter Wanda are fighting off robots and rescuing people. And she's all "how could I let this happen? this is my fault?" and clint gives his inspiring "yeah, it's everybody's fault. chin up kid. the city is flying. I've got like twelve arrows. Go out there and you're an Avenger, let's go kill robots" speech. It was better than than Cap's. (ILU Cap, but you're poorly written in this movie)

Wanda decides to be an Avenger and goes robot smashing and Clint looks at her with such pride. (Well, no, he just nods and tells Cap they're clear)

And then Pietro runs up and calls him old man and Barton Bartons, he takes aim on Pietro from behind. "Nobody would know. Nobody. 'The last I saw him, an Ultron was sitting on him. Yeah, he'll be missed, that quick little bastard. I miss him already.'" Ha.

That's always worth watching a couple times. I mean, hey, AoU is not entirely irredeemable. There's good bits. There's just also a lot of not good bits.

• More robot fighting. Stark and Friday are trying to come up with a solution. Tony's got the idea to blow up/vaporize the flying part of the city, to keep it from hitting the ground and, you know, killing the planet.

Fury, always a master of timing, shows up with the primary helicarrier for evac of the city. Pietro is impressed.

And they bring along Rhodey!

• More robot fighting.

• Barton goes to rescue a kid. There's shooting. Pietro saves them by suddenly running slow enough to get hit by bullets. And dies. Because … ? After everything they did to work out the rights to Pietro and Wanda for this film and for the MCU in general, to go and kill one of them off, it's so irritatingly stupid.

• Anyway, it distracts wanda and an ultron hits the destructo device, dropping the city while Tony is busy trying to vaporize it.

• Somehow Hulk ended up on a quinjet. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. And he has it in stealth mode and he just takes off despite Nat's attempts to call him back.

• Vision has a final confrontation with what's left of Ultron. "Stark asked for a savior and settled for a slave." So … he's Jesus? NOBODY KNOWS. Vision saves us all by finishing him off.

• The New Avengers Facility in upstate New York has a HUGE staff. I don't think I ever noticed that, either. Including, Erik Selvig.

• Steve and Tony try to rationalize why Vision can pick up Mjölnir, Thor's just content to ignore them and say Vis can keep the mind gem because he's worthy and such. "Elevator's not worthy."

Thor takes off back to Asgard on account of how all the infinity stones keep turning up. So somebody's mucking about, and by Odin's neckbeard he'll find out what!.

Tony is taking a break from Iron Man-ing. New team reveal — Sam, Rhodey, Wanda, Vision.

• Estimated Time: Three days to try to integrate the Ultron AI. AI attacks at night. Next day they ID Gollum. They arrive in South Africa in daylight, so next next day. Five Days then? Then they arrive at Farm at daylight, early morning. Another day. Fury is there at night. They leave at night. So on to day six. Go to Seoul, and Tony to Oslo. Two more days? Then Vision is born at night and then to Sokovia. Another day.  So … the week and a half of Ultron.

[nerdynumme-rp]

Out of the Blue||Cowritten Closed

Rosanna laid on her bed, trying her best not to let her mind wander too much. It was hard though, she hadn’t heard from him at all. She wouldn’t have even known he left if not for word getting to her from the grapevine and grey faces. 

The only form of communication and contact they had was one sided, and looking at the abandoned text just made her stomach flip. She shouldn’t have sent it. Alcohol got the best of her in that tact, and her heart wanted to so bad, despite her mind knowing better. She wanted to come off strong, unaffected, but… she also wanted him to know she loved him, she missed him, that this wasn’t easy. In the end, the more sensitive and affectionate bits of her emotions won. Still in sending the text she worried now it came off insensitive to his wants. It was all a mess. She was a mess. He didn’t respond back, which she expected. So… that was that. Her one and only attempt. Shutdown cold. Was he okay? She wouldn’t know. She didn’t even know where he was. It hurt her heart, every bit of it broken, shattered, and still somehow the fragments of it mustered up that plaguing concern. No matter what she did, go out, study, edit, vlog, even her self care and me time turned into her thoughts traveling to him. She was doomed. As she slipped deeper and deeper into her thoughts her phone let out it’s familiar text notification alert. She raised a brow, her hand going grabby to her bedside table, finally slipping over her phone and throwing it over to the bed.

The number wasn’t familiar and it was a video, along with the message: “Don’t  worry, we’re taking good care of him while he’s away 😊 -Ethan”

>>>Video here Ethan? Who is Ethan….? But before she could focus too much on the stranger, the video went on audio play. There he was laying on the ground, a hearty laugh filling the room like music, her heart beating fast as he boomed through the speaker. Her favorite Golden pup raced to-and-fro chasing red and green dots and shapes, lasered to the floor, diving across the room in a dance. Mark egged her on as she frolicked, his face catching the camera briefly, eyes squinty and happy like they were once engraved in her mind, not sad and tired. Butterflies zoomed and flew hard in her chest and against her rib-cage, as if he was looking at her. It took her a moment, letting out a deep breath as she caught it, forgetting to breath out for a minute in awe. Another boy laid across from her favorite brunette, curly hair tucked away in a beanie, his face one she did not recognize. She pursed her lips, it still smiling through the thin line before the video ended. She waited for a minute, taking in another deep breath and pressing the phone close to her heart for a second, wishing it was him, wishing things were different. But then she remembered the unexpected number. She typed:

“Thank you so much. This video is everything my heart needed. I’m glad to see his smile. But um… please forgive me, I don’t recognize this number or… name.”

A message came back, undeterred, just moments later. “Ethan! You know Blue boy!” Ro say confused for a moment, trying to rake her brain through any blue haired men in her life, but she sat frozen. Not a single one. Still she felt there was SOMETHING there. He clearly knew Mark, but… And he wasn’t the other guy in the video, he had dark hair, not blue. She frowned, texting again. “I feel so lost right now, I feel I know you, but… I don’t think I do. I’m so sorry :(“ She sat and waiting, upon another text.

“Oh” Was sent back after he took a moment to pick his pride up off the floor. “Well” came right after then a pause between messages of a few minutes with the three dots of typing up the whole time. “Mark didn’t mention me?”

Seeing his name hit Ro in a pang, her heart leaping to her throat.  Still she tried not to focus on it too much and sat there thinking for a minute. Ethan?… Blue haired boy… She tilted her head to the side, delving deep. Then her eyes widened a little. “I’m… I’m sorry” she typed, a little frown slipping upon her lips for the boy on the opposite side of her phone. She had wished she knew him, his text to her came from such a nice place, so sweet and caring. He clearly wanted her to see Mark was safe, happy, and very much not just a memory. This Ethan clearly wanted HER to know, to show HER, to update HER. Like he cared… With all of that sweeping into her, a faint memory slipped through of Mark hiring a pair a little bit back to help take off the some load. She remembered being grateful to hear such news, knowing how deep into his kicks Mark got when it came to his videos and splicing them, making sure they were trimmed, cut, and proper. Sometimes locking himself up for days at end. When the news came he was bringing on two new members, she could have sang atop mountains, always worried about him when he shut down and shut out. “WAIT!” she wrote fast. “Are you one of his new editors?!” she asked, her fingers moving quickly, wanting to fix whatever hard feeling the other boy was feeling.

The dots came up again for a few minutes, as he typed. “Yeah, his editor”

It read when another message finally came through. “sorry to bother you” another read that came in quick, followed by another. “I just thought 😓”

Ro read fast shaking her head in protest and responded promptly. “No please don’t be sorry, you’re no bother. I actually really appreciate someone contacting me. I’ve been worried about him, and I really… really miss him. It means a lot.” Followed by a series of dots then another text “Listen… I’m sure Mark meant to tell me about you, he’s just… not been doing good. Obviously. But I DO know he’s grateful for you guys, you’ve helped him SO much with his work. And IM grateful too, I don’t know what would have happened if his channel went down, or he got behind during this entire ordeal. I don’t even WANT to think about it. You guys have helped him more than you probably even know. And you helped our relationship last for as long as it did too. So thank you, for all of that, and for being so good to him.” She finally sent, now patting the bed for Cookie to come up and snuggle her, watching the video of Chica and Mark again for comfort, waiting on the following reply. He looked so happy.

“😀💕 wow really! I’m helping you guys stay together?!” came through quickly after. “I do what I can! And I’ll keep you updated as much as you’d like! Tyler tried to keep him focused on work or I’m sure he’d talk to you more 😄” Ro frowned, letting her hand fall from Cookie and let out a hard sigh before she wrote back. “Well you helped us stay together, in the past sense. I’m sure you know we aren’t together anymore.” she wrote, wanting to put all the crying emojis but resisting the urge. “Oh goodness, I couldn’t ask that of you. That’s so sweet, thank you though. I don’t want to intervene on you work, or like… Idk. Anyway! I’m glad he’s focused, I know how much he loves his job and his fans, keeping them happy. Tyler? Is that the other guy. Thank him for me too! I want Mark to be happy.”  she sent and laid back down on her bed, staring ahead, happy to be talking to this random boy about her… boy. It was important to hear Mark was doing better, even if she was out of the equation, even if that meant she hadn’t helped in the first place, none of that was more important than him doing better.

“What?” came back to her with little hesitation. “But I thought… all of this was for you” came right after then a hesitation and the three dots for a little. “You aren’t really broken up right?” Ro rolled on her side and stared at the screen for a minute, her fingers hovered in a dance, unsure what to write, but she tried. “Unfortunately, we are really.” she sent with a very heavy heart, followed by the same three dots slipping onto his screen and she wrote and un-wrote, not sure what to send or say. “It is all for me… I guess.. But that doesn’t make it less real. It ended. It’s… gone.” she said pulled a loose pillow to her chest to squeeze, Cookie resting against the back of her hip, knowing her momma was feeling some blue herself.

There was a long pause, a pause that went beyond waiting for the dots to turn to words, no dots at all. Some time later, long enough that it could be expected he forgot to respond, a message came “Okay Rosanna, whatever you say 😉”

“Ethan, please believe me. It isn’t a joke, though I wish it was :(“ she wrote trying her best not to come off mean or snotty. It was a simple sad text, nothing to be misconstrued. She continued with another text to follow.  “I love him, and if that means letting him go, I had to do it. I want him to be better, so… This is best for him. He originally wanted it to be a break, but it shortly turned into me deserving better not ‘this’, and not to be ‘tied down’, I should be happy and blahblahblah while… letting us go.” she wrote. “Like really go.” she added and then placed her phone down in front of the space on the bed between her and the edge with a deep breath.

There was another pause between the messages. “And you listened to all that?” came in and another right after. “It’s all for you! Duh! To be better for you!”   Ro sat for a minute staring at the text, her lips pursed to a flat line, just staring at the screen, the words blending and blurring until she snapped back into reality. “He said I shouldn’t be tied down, though. And…and I need to be happy without him, and…. Stuff. If you were there… It… would make more sense… I… I wish I could make sense of it for you :(“ her words still stumbled and sputtered even on the screen, unsure and confused, still heartbroken. “I want to believe you.” she replied then and just… waited.

“Well you should! 😊” He replied. “I know it looks like I’m some random person, but I know Mark! I swear.” She really wanted to, and for some reason, the more she sat and thought about this random boy messaging her, and sending her that sweet gesture, the more she did. Her heart was so tired, her eyes were so red and achy from all the times she had cried throughout the time he left. She knew neither of those two things would let up, but…  She wanted to believe. She sighed, her thumbs moving to send him another quick text. “Thank you, I really do appreciate your kindness.” she sent then slowly started to type again, watching her words format to the screen as she typed. “I just…. Really, really love him. I want him to be happy.” she said, her eyes glazing over once more, hating herself and her quick emotions. “and he loves you too!” came with no hesitation. “So don’t give up on him. He’s doing really good!” there was a brief pause between, then a sudden message. “We’re going to film, putting my phone away. It was nice to talk to you Rosanna!” Rosanna read the text over and over again, letting the words wash over her and sink into her. Rereading to memorize it. To believe it.  She hoped this random boy blue was right, because she hadn’t given up, and she wouldn’t either. Because Mark was it for her. She sighed, a smile twitch touching the one corner of her lips, then turning into a small, weak smile. “Thank you Ethan, you’re a good friend. I hope it’s okay I call you one too. Talk to you soon, I hope!💛” she wrote back and hit sent, placing the phone back on the bedside table and rolling back over to Cookie. “Do you miss Daddy?” she asked, the pup looking up at Ro then crawling to her face to give her a lick. “Me too” she stated softly, “Me too”, followed by planting several quick smooches in a row to the the bulldog’s head. With that she stretched her arm, reaching for the lamp next to her, her eyes catching the sleeping phone screen, taking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out through her nose. “Thank you Ethan.” she said quietly, pulling the light string and turning in for the night.

[oblivion-time]

Monachopsis

This work is dedicated to Lillan (my cat) who passed away 2017-12-18. She spent her last days on my lap as I edited this story.

Go and check out @sandmancircus's awesome art to my story! It’s mind blowing! especially the last pic

Summary: The secret vacation they have been sent to in the small mountain city was supposed to be relaxing. Except Soul has to deal with his partnership on slippery thin ice, Maka’s sudden interest in guys and his crippling feelings toward his meister which prevents him from enjoying the vacation with his friends.

Pairing: SoulxMaka, little of AkanexMaka Rating: NC-17 Warnings: Major Character Death.

You can read the full story on my AO3 and on ff.net

Monachopsis

The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place

Chapter 1

The hum of the engine was the only thing keeping him sane. The sudden shrieks of the tires when Black*Star stomped on the gas pedal. His body swung from the life-threatening skids of every turn he made. Soul focused on holding himself to his side of the seat while Maka pressed herself against the opposite car door, eyes angrily squinted as she stared at the snowy mountainsides. He rolled his eyes and looked out his window.

"Look at all the mountains." Tsubaki repeated for the fifth time, a poor effort at easing the dense tension. "I've never seen so much snow at the same time."

Black*Star snorted loudly, spraying spit on the steering wheel. "It's not as amazing as your almighty God! I shine brighter than the sun!" His obnoxious laughter made Soul's stomach roll and bile rise in his throat. He grimaced as he stared out at the slim mountain road they skidded up.

Right now, he couldn't care less if they skidded off the road and died.

"If we finish the mission early, perhaps we could go skiing." Tsubaki spoke.

"Pffft! Skiing's for pussies! A great God like me will drive snowmobiles! I'll show you all the cool backflips I've up my sleeves!" Black*Star hooted and he slammed his fist at the ceiling in excitement.

"Will you focus on driving?" Maka sneered.

"Geez, bookworm, what crawled up your ass and died?"

Soul rolled his eyes when Tsubaki slapped the back of his head. "Do as Maka says or I'll take over."

Soul didn't even want to know what kind of shenanigans Black*Star had instore if he wasn't distracted by the road. With all the ants in his pants, who knew what he would do. Soul certainly didn't want to be on the receiving end of his attention. All he wanted was to be left alone. Except for the happy Maka who wouldn't glare at him and give him the cold shoulder, not this Maka who clearly seemed to deeply despise him for absolutely no reason at all.

"Look!" Tsubaki pointed toward the top of the curvy road. "There's the town!"

In the distance along the mountain stretched two-store wood houses along with green trees. In the background of the buildings, small black dots skied down the long mountains' slopes. The image was peaceful. A picture you would expect in a vacation magazine. A lot of people traveling to the ski resort, there would be plenty of people for a kishin to feed on.

This was an easy mission. Find Akane and defeat the kishin. Simple. They were already way overpowered. One weapon and meister pair could do this without any problem, but yet, Kid decided to send three pairs. And one of them was his own weapons. He had no clue what the reasoning was behind his decision.

They arrived in the city. Tsubaki read the map and guided Black*Star through narrow snowy roads. Soon, the car came to a shrieking halt. Soul slammed forward and the seatbelt tightened against his chest. He unfastened his seatbelt and quickly got out of the car, relieved at the chilly air nibbling his cheeks and scent of fresh air. He did survive the long ride to the cabin with Black*Star behind the wheel, they certainly had a guardian angel watching over them.

The door to the small cabin opened and out marched Liz with a huge grin on her face. "Well, finally you arrived. Thought you would manage to get here before noon with Black*Star as your driver."

"Not when you drive over glass." Maka murmured as she opened the trunk.

"We got here faster than if Tsubaki would've driven." Black*Star barked. "No offense." He placed his palm on Tsubaki's shoulder and it lingered longer than platonic.

"None taken." She patted his hand.

"We wouldn't have been stuck in that diner for two and a half hours if Tsubaki drove." Maka angrily threw Black*Star's backpack hard and he caught it as if it was nothing.

Soul rolled his eyes and he went up to the trunk with his hands shoved deep in his pants. "Just knock it off."

Maka's razor sharp eyes were for the first time in a long time on him. "Yeah, and that's coming from you."

"Um, yeah. It's no use fighting over something that's already done."

Her eyes narrowed and she swung her backpack over her shoulder, crossing her arms over her tiny (but very desirable) chest. She snorted and aggressively bumped her shoulder into his as she went passed him. Liz cocked her newly plucked eyebrow as she gazed between them questioningly.

"I'm going to unpack." Maka murmured as she went up the stairs and headed inside of the small cabin.

Liz waited for the door to close before she opened her mouth. "What's up with her?"

"Just PMS or something." he lied as he rubbed his shoulder Maka had bumped into, hurting more mentally than physically.

He hated fighting with Maka. He hated not being able to touch her or talk to her or simply sitting in comfortable silence beside her. The tension was killing him and he hated the fact he didn't even know why they were fighting. It was if a switch was flipped in their relationship and suddenly Maka was… cold. Then there were those moments when she exploded with rage when he opened his mouth.

He grabbed his bag from the trunk and went up the three steps and entered the cabin. It was like any other cabin. Wooden walls and matching floors, fireplace with a fluffy rug you wanted to dig your toes into.

"Don't drag inside snow. Patty has already slipped." Liz called inside. Soul heard her sigh heavily as she went passed him, taking off her shoes on the large rug. "So…" She pointed her thumb toward a door left to the living area. "There's a bedroom. You and Maka could take that one." Liz changed her direction and pointed toward a door by the stairway to the second level. "Tsubaki and Black*Star, you take the master bedroom."

"Aw sweet!" Black*Star bolted right passed them and slammed the door open.

Soul rolled his eyes at Black*Star's trail of snow leading toward the bedroom, hearing his hoots to the sound of bedsprings shrieking.

"Sorry, I'll wipe it up." Tsubaki bowed toward Liz apologetically after she had taken off her shoes and put them away on the shoe rack.

"Don't worry about it." Liz waved it away and Tsubaki followed the trail of melting snow inside of the bedroom. "Patty and I took the liberty to take the two singles on the second level." Liz's eyes darted to Maka disappearing inside of their bedroom, slamming the door shut loudly. "But if you want some space from Maka, we could switch."

The idea of abandoning the golden opportunity to share a room with Maka left a bitter taste in his mouth. Maka had already distanced from him, there was no use in putting more distance between them. Whatever the stick she had shoved up her ass was, he needed to take care of it before they headed out to finish off the kishin. The last thing he wanted was a battle against Free 2.0. "Thanks Liz, but we'll be fine." In due time. As soon as Maka had cooled down and ready to have a civilized conversation with him. Trying to patch up their relationship when Maka was high on rage never was a good idea. The multiple chops to the head were proof enough.

"If you say so."

He sighed and went passed Liz. His hand enveloped the rough golden doorknob and it clicked loudly when he twisted it. The door creaked open loudly, almost drowning out the sound of rapid footsteps and fabric tearing. Maka cursed and stomped her foot like a toddler, throwing the broken zipper on the ground.

"Wow, what did the zipper do to you?" The regret hit him faster than lightning when her razor sharp eyes set on him, cheeks flushed with hot anger. "Okay, no jokes." He strolled over to the free single bed on the other side of the room. His back thudded when it landed on the floor and he flopped down on the soft covers.

"Why are you even here?" she snarled, fisting the fabric of her backpack.

"Why shouldn't I be? We're roomies like always."

"Not that." she sighed heavily and spun around on her feet so she could face him. "Gosh! You're such an idiot!"

"Idiot?" He shot up from his bed. "So breathing makes me an idiot?"

"Yes!" She closed her eyes and shook her head madly, pigtails whipping her cheeks. "No― it's not― you're not an idiot." she shrieked loudly in annoyance and fisted her hair.

"Then what the heck's your problem? You've been acting weird for days now." He carefully watched her, analysing every wrinkle of anger on her nose and the deep divide between her neat pale eyebrows.

"It's nothing―"

"Bullshit." he called and her eyes shut tightly. "Whatever's going on, you need to tell me or bury the hatches or else this mission can turn messy really quickly."

"That's the thing, nothing is wrong."

"Then get a grip," His voice rose in strength. He crossed the space between their beds. His palms grabbed her shoulders and she gasped, wide eyes locking with his in astonishment. "We're a team. If this continues we'll be back to the battle with Free and once again we'll be a burden. Come on Maka, we're stronger than this." He urged as his thumbs soothingly massaged her collarbones. He flinched at the view of water rising in her eyes. Regret sunk in his belly like a stone sinking in the sea.

"I know." A tear trickled down her cheek. She slapped his hands away from her and stood up. "Don't you think I already know I'm dragging us down?" Her pigtails whipped his face when she turned on her heel, storming out of the bedroom. The door loudly slammed into the wall, shaking the floor and threatening to break from its hinges from the sheer force.

"Maka!"

"Leave me alone!" she screeched when he followed him. He came to a halt on the other side of the red leather couch. The front door slammed open just as powerful― if not more and Maka stormed out with tears staining her cheeks.

Damn it. He knew he shouldn't have pulled out the "duty" card. It was so stupid of him. He knew very well Maka didn't take lightly being a burden. He experienced that first-hand in the book of Eibon. She'd given him a glance of her insecurities and they overcame it. Together. And here he was; rubbing her insecurity right in her face, just twisting the knife in her chest. He might've as well told her he was done being her weapon.

He bit his lower lip as he watched Maka wander away from the cabin in the snow. Desire to run after her made his feet ache and his fingers tingling, only his reasoning kept him from running after her. If he went after her, it would only hurt her more. A calm stroll through the small tourist city in the mountains could cool her down enough to perhaps reopen the discussion they had. Maybe then, they could solve the problem without spurring each other on and only create more tangles on their already shaky relationship.

He massaged his tense neck and he faced the ceiling. After sealing Asura on the moon, he thought their relationship could only get better. He overcame the black blood, strengthened his relationship with Maka― he played the piano in front of the school's student body. Without Maka by his side.

"Trouble in paradise?"

Soul sighed, turning around to face Liz leaning against the wall at the top of the stairway. "Please don't start."

"What?" She descended the stairs, her boots thudding for every step. "Your tongue too tired from making out with her?"

He rolled his eyes almost into his skull as she snickered, pleased with her joke. "You know that's the last thing that will happen." He tightened his jaw as he watched Maka disappear around a corner of a house.

"You know she has only love for you." she said as she stared out of their cabin by his side.

"I know." He placed his palm on his chest, right above his soul. He could feel her soul, feel the invisible ties between them that bound them together. Made it possible for him to sense her at the very back of his mind, reminding him how far they were, there would always be a part of her inside of him. "I can feel she loves me. Not just the same kind of love like mine."

Even though she didn't love him, he appreciated her company the most. Treasured the moments they shared. Their movie nights. Laughing by the kitchen table at something stupid Black*Star did while eating Chinese food. Maka hugging his waist as he drove them to Shibusen on his motorcycle. He would always love her. He was already prepared to swallow his feelings and spend the rest of his life as her friend and weapon partner. She had her hooks in him too deep, there was no way he could possibly kill his emotions and turn his back on her. All he wanted was for them to be together. Not necessarily as lovers, anything she gave him, he would be pleased as long as he was a part of her life.

The risk of losing Maka would never be worth it. He's selfish. He loves her too much to let her go. Maka will always be his sun, his oxygen and his guardian angel. And he would always stand by her side.

"You know both of you are ridiculous. Always going on about―"

"Will you just stop?" he snarled, whipping his head around. "You're not helping."

"Fine." She flicked her golden hair over her shoulder. "Come and help us out in the kitchen."

"Fine." he muttered. After one glance out of the front door window, he dragged his feet into the kitchen where Tsubaki stirred a pot and Patty sliced vegetables. He was handed the job of cooking the rice. As he rinsed the rice and looked out the window into the darkness outside the house, only the light from the slope breaking the darkness; he wondered if Maka would be okay all alone in the dark with an unknown kishin lurking around. A smirk grew on his face. But then again, this was Maka Albarn he was talking about. A single kishin couldn't even touch her. The kishin was the least of his worries. She had been in a hurry when she stormed out of the cabin, he knew when she dragged her fine ass back to the cabin, she would be freezing cold.

"Hey, Tsubaki." Soul spoke up, earning the woman's attention. "Do you think we've some cocoa?"

You want more, you’ll have to go to my AO3 or ff.net to read the rest of this story!