#edit: this wasn't abt anyone in particular

[radical-boy-kisser]

Hihi!! this might b a bit long, sry 4 that :))). how do we/I tell if I'm a system? I've been doing A LOT of research specifically on osdd 1b, bc I fit most every symptom, but I don't like self diagnosing. on the other hand I don't have the resources to get diagnosed. I can list symptoms in comments if u guys need. but yeah we r really confused rn. sorry I keep switching in between I and we pronouns. Also we feel like my child hood wasn't traumatic enough to have osdd so I feel like we r making it all up!! anyways sorry this was a bad tangent! hope u hv a nice day :)))) /nfta

Hello!! Thank you for reaching out to me, but I will preface my answer with this:

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL!!!!! I AM JUST A SILLY LITTLE GUY™️ ON THE INTERNET!!! PLEASE TAKE EVERYTHING I SAY WITH A GRAIN OF SALT!!!!!!!

ALSO! ITS OKAY TO BE WRONG!! IM NOT TRYING TO SAY YOU ARE OR AREN'T A SYSTEM, BUT JUST TO ANYONE READING THIS WHO THINKS THEY MIGHT BE A SYSTEM AND IT TURNS OUT THEY ARENT THATS OKAY!!!!!!! YOU DISCOVERED SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF ANY WAY!!

Anyways, as a system I can list some of the symptoms I experienced before realizing I was a system and some now and if you relate to a suspicious amount then maybe that's your sign!! (Very very sorry if this is not enough/what u asked for 😭)

Also, self diagnosing is perfectly valid in this situation! Self diagnosing is valid when you don't have the resources and do proper and extensive research on the subject, and even more so with DID since so many people don't diagnose it, with some outright refusing to!

Here are some of the symptoms I experienced before realized I had funky people in my head :

• Gaps in memory, such as not being able to remember what happened the entire week, or even that same day. Especially more so for stressful/traumatic events. (Also just straight up not being able to remember most of your childhood. Again, assuming you're a system, you're not gonna think you had enough childhood trauma because DID is meant to make you completely forget that ❤️)

• Feeling like a completely different person. The first time I actually noticed I switched, it felt really intense and whenever I'd (wasn't ME, obviously, but I'm using "I/me" for the sake of simplicity) try to recall myself, it'd be a different person with a different name and physical appearance and such, and the name "Max" felt so distant and as if it didn't belong to me.

During the first times I'd switch when it first developed, I'd feel like someone different during that time, but I'd usually not notice/forget about it later

• Identity crisis central

Now, here are some of the symptoms we now experience knowing we're a system:

(We still experience memory gaps and such obviously. Also, not trying to say our symptoms just straight up switches after we realized we were a system, these are just some we have realized are symptoms of DID and now look out for)

• Seeing messages, tasks done, notes written that I have absolutely no recollection of doing

• Not feeling like myself, but also no one else in particular and it's like "who am i" (blurring)

• Disassociation. HEAVY disassociation.

These are all the things that I could think of right now, so I really hope this helps!! I know DID and OSDD-1B aren't the same thing but I really hope this helps!!! (i don't know much about OSDD-1B because I completely forgot everything I learned abt it 😭)

But uhh ya that's all hope you have a nice day as well and good luck on your discovery journey! (Or not! Idk if that phrase goes both ways I'm sorry!!)

Edit : Also pls reach out to other systems please don't take just my take/view/whatever on it 🙏 ty

[glaivenoct]

Trick or treat!

Ask Box Trick or Treat - Fic Edition

Haaaiii <3 thank you for sending and happy hallow!!

I was interested at the OG post mentioning a deleted line. I usually try to clear out draft docs so they don't take up space and figured I wouldn't have anything along those lines, but it turns out I have a few stragglers. I remember talking abt this specific thing over on twit ages ago too -

A little something that never made the cut in Chapter 3 of All The Things I Lost On You - the Noct's shitty ex flashback fic for Cagefighter AU. So, this is post Miles Makes a Scene and Tries to Get Physical with Ignis at Noct's Party. In one version of the chapter, Miles was still waiting for Noctis at the apartment when Gladio dropped him off. However, Miles completely ignored Noctis' existence rather than starting an argument. So, instead, I had Noctis decide to take a hot bath to try and relax. He caught up on his texts in the meantime; I wrote texts from Prompto, Luna & Gladio, but these probably have to be my favorite texts I wrote out;

This might seem basic af but I really really love these bc, for anyone that doesn't know, I am very much a sucker for Protective Uncle Cor dynamics - and I got to utilize that a little bit in the previous chapter of this 4 chaptered project. That, and the dynamic of Noct's family in this particular AU. Neither Regis or Cor knew until this moment that Noct's relationship wasn't the healthiest - Noct didn't want them to ever have an inkling about it, and in this moment he's very much embarrassed by the fact that they know now, and they're probably itching for the next chance they get to try and talk to him about it.

And when Noct reads these texts, all he wants is to apologize for Miles making a scene. To reassure them that everything is okay (even tho its not) and they don't need to waste their time and energy worrying about him. But at the same time, he just wants to disappear, never show his face to anyone again, and forget it happened.

I'd also like to point out -

What Cor Says: text your dad you're safe so he doesn't worry What Cor Means: text your dad so he doesn't worry ok? because then he'll tell me you're home safe and I won't worry ok? Ok thank u.

This is the family dynamic Noct deserves damnit!! It is meant to be present in Cagefighter AU the further it develops! ;u;

[pathos-p]

"Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game" but i got tagged in it so i am gonna answer all of them 'cause theyre fun

questions by @/i-like-eyes

thanks for the tag @king-chook!! ^^

1. Art programs you have but don't use

i thiiink i have a license for clip studio paint that came with my old wacom tablet but i never rly used it. also used to have krita installed for the longest time but just always felt off to me idk why. don't currently have it installed anymore tho

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

to their right is a bit easier i think. not smth i consciously notice, mostly i'm just thinking abt when im doodling on the margins of stuff they usually are looking to the left of the page

3. What ideas come from when you were little

uhhh idk tbh, i dont think much of my art draws from that

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

cityscapes !!! i love cities they r so pretty and cool looking but goddamn theyre so hard to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

80-20? i post everything that i finish. basically the only stuff that doesnt get posted is sketches i give up on

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

hmmmm not that i can think of rn...

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

watercolour !! i've tried it a few times and Struggled but i love seeing ppl's work in it

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

so many animatics ..................... also many comic ideas ..................... i get so many ideas that i just never start on or start and only do a little before losing the hyperfocus/fixation and just Cannot continue them. it sucks

9. What are your file name conventions

usually the character name, maybe a bit of description of what theyre doing... idk not much of a convention to it

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

hmm i like jackets :)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

yes, usually music. sometimes random youtube videos like stream highlights or video essays.

12. Easiest part of body to draw

uhhh hair? maybe idk. hard question bc it varied a lot depending on what kinda style and just. sometimes smth is hard in a particular drawing then easy later idk

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

i cant think of anything i will edit it in if i think of anyone

14. Any favorite motifs

in my drawings i dont feel like i use any much. mostly i pull motifs from whatever im doing fanart of lol. in music, i like religious motifs (but not like. ones abt christ or bible stories, rather heaven, hell, god/divinity, angels)

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

at home pretty much exclusively. in bed lol

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

idk i feel like the stuff im better at is the stuff i like bc i practice it more for fun lol

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

not usually

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

surprisingly little. mostly bc i do more digital art lol

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

weapons and nature. especially ice for nature

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

i cant think of anything ill add it if i do

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

i love rougher styles, like ones with a lot of visible brushstrokes and bold lines and shit. so cool. idk how to make it look good lol i dont have the confidence in my lines for it

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

none... probably i should change that

23. Do you use different layer modes

yeah, often i use a multiple layer for shading then a variety to colour adjust at the end

24. Do your references include stock images

sometimes

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

cant think of any

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

there was this poem i wrote about capitalism and how shit it is and someone thought it was abt interpersonal relationships/smth along the lines of a breakup. i rly didnt mind it tho i thought it was cool bc the emotion was not far off, the sense of betrayal and abandonment. just a very very different subject

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

no lol

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i ran a zine (digital only) for the dimension 20 zine jam! and also made art+writing for others in that :D also was part of a polygon yt fanzine a while back

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

spider-man (not the MCU, mostly tasm and a few of the comics)

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

IS IT BAD TO SAY A PIECE THAT GOT QUITE A BIT OF POSITIVE ATTENTION ?? maybe

i rly like the cj comic i did i am genuinely so goddamn happy with the result so . even tho it did very well by the standards for the fandom its for and my current follower base it is underrated

alternatively this one https://www.tumblr.com/pathos-p/704380503765221377/tridential-sovereignty?source=share bc it didnt get all that much attention on any social media site but i think its cool !!

(mostly only using recent ones bc i dont wanna dig back further esp onto my old twt acct, too much work lol)

[pumbkinrabbit]

christ i guess its gonna be one of those days. huh?

[unproduciblesmackdown]

see ppl would be like “lars would just wanna leave the planet again” and i would be like :///////// boy i hope that’s not what happens tho................lol

cuz idk for me it’s like. hmm i would have hoped that he’d be able to Find His Place amongst his actual home and like, find that sense of belonging there which was so important to him? out of maybe somewhere on the entire planet? and i def think there’s multiple ways of looking at / interpreting this but mine is like.....not loving this aspect of lars peacing off of the Entire Planet (i will just keep saying that lol...the wholeass world)

i mean first of all it was weird that like. lars dies and is entirely gone but there was seemingly way less of an impact back home than you would’ve thought? or i mean, maybe not more than you would’ve thought (just a random kid in a random shop) (but also! uh he died!!) but like, it’s seemingly confirmation that he Didn’t belong there and nobody cared that much? like he’d have reason to be upset about that lol......and then like. timing-wise it was also weird that finally being Back was like, a ten second deal lmao like uh where are his parents!!! somebody gonna tell them or. and speaking of, where are his parents when he’s all “yeah i’m leaving the entire planet again” lmaoooo like okay but they have no simple direct way of getting in touch with him!! bro you are in space.....bro

and like, it Did make sense that sure, lars could thrive Innnn Spaaaace in ways he couldn’t back home just cuz of like, hey everything’s completely different and you have these very solid goals and these people are totally new to you, there’s no pressure of what-ppl-expect-from-you and i don’t just mean that in an “achievement” way, but just like, ur established relationships with whoever and Performing How You Think They See You or etc etc.....and yes a group of weirdos who nobody likes is potentially gonna be real accepting to other weirdos nobody likes. and i think for a character like lars it can kinda make sense that like, such a drastic Fresh Start could even be welcome to him. and also it seems sort of like a portal fantasy situation? like, look you’ve left the Regular World and now you’re in some totally different scenario where you’re now considered remarkable just via being so unusual but also you kind of have superpowers, and nobody here knows you and you can be whoever and you have this new status and a purpose and etc etc etc etc etc etc like, imo for kids who Really Do Not Feel They Fit In for lgbtq and/or depressed-ass and/or nd reasons, etc etc, it’s like.......portal fantasy content hits different!!!!

but yanno, irl there’s no Portal Fantasy situation that hits (like, you can sure travel a distance and be in an entirely different situation / environment, but not like, narnia) and when you get older it’s obviously more like. lol okay but seriously how do i fit in Here...........and like, ppl aren’t always gonna Find that greatly improved sense of belonging or anything, definitely not always right away, but it’s still like.......i mean i was real :///// about the idea of lars being like “he’s totally fine now, this is his thing, he’s good” Before this, and maybe it will continue to Not have this be like, his ~end point~ but the idea that Lars In Space, Again, might be the “he’s totally fine now, this is his thing, he’s good” deal is even more ://///////////// cuz like. he doesn’t belong on the entire planet lol??? and once again it being not that huge a deal to ppl that he’s leaving the entire planet, except to the guy who’ll have the easiest time talking to him (but still not a Direct way)........i was all like oh hey lmao is buck gonna talk to him wow!! i’d be way into that!!!! but then.....no.....i’ll take “standing next to each other” for Something but like. idk to me it feels like it’s confirming that Lars Didn’t Really Belong And Couldn’t Belong and it’s like..................................well it’s very understandable that lars could end up feeling that way and have made some level of peace with that (when he has a Portal Fantasy option :|||||||||| ) but uhhhh like. not a .........good thing???? doesn’t seem like To Me????? like again maybe this isn’t the true final point of his arc but like. already it’s shown that him Leaving The Entire Planet is seemingly no more a big deal than going to medical school and like. maybe like, attuning the perspective on the situation re: fantasy elements, you could interpret this as the equivalent of just like, moving somewhere really far away, what with one person having his cell phone number and it not Having to be a one-way trip, but.................shouldn’t it still be a bigger deal than this. and idk he’s still Not Belonging Anywhere On The Entire Planet like. what if he hadn’t happened to land in this situation of intergalactic fugitive making friends w/ a few aliens?? he would just have never belonged? anywhere on the entire planet????????????? again like, i appreciate how like, for the most part the Places You Can Be options here are mostly “this one particular small-ish town” and “goddamn outer space” and i can also appreciate that yeah, maybe lars wouldn’t end up feeling like he belongs in this one small-ish town but like. even if he could never befriend the other Peers whom he was trying to befriend, there......are other peers even in this one town

i also appreciate that probably the “probably living for millennia” thing was going to make Feeling Like He Belongs difficult but like, that’s another thing he’s not alone in nowadays. and like wow a new way it’s difficult to feel comfortable in The Way Things Are? what else would be new. like, why would we expect him to feel like “trying not to die twice in space” fixed everything forever.....which is why i was :/// about the idea that yknow, prior to this we could assume he was totally gucci. i guess the thesis statement i wandered to is that like, it seems like lars’s sense of alienation was only affirmed? like, litchrelly bro you fit in better with these actual aliens........and like, i can see how that can be interpreted as validating, and i’m not saying i think that that interpretation as wrong, but for me yeah it’s like. oh so lars really did Not belong, and all that time he spent beating himself up over thinking that nobody was gonna want him around? well!!! he is leaving the entire planet it’s kinda a “c’est la vie” matter apparently. like, i can assume he Does want to leave, but it’s still ://///////// like well lars every time you self-sabotaged b/c you thought you couldn’t fit in? you didn’t have to have done that but you were right to think that you weren’t gonna find the connections you wanted. like, god damn. is how i feel about lars going into space :///////////////////

[corvuscorona]

reminds me of the post(s?) I've seen this pride month abt "boy" vs "man" and "girl" vs "woman" being distinct genders & some people vibing okay with their agab until society goes "now you're the adult version of it" which rings pretty true as a concept..

like FOR ME "girl" mostly was "child" and that was fine; I was extremely very enabled to be a little goblin kid and do whatever the fuck so I didn't have to THINK about it but it would be HARD to really effectively steel someone for the barrage of endless dumb bullshit they can expect to be assaulted with re: the Adult Version of whatever their Child Gender is, yk.

"woman" was either "women like on tv or whatever" (obviously worthless to me) or "wombyn like people who are taking the whole thing entirely too seriously" or "women as in ascended girls as in my aunt who did the GIRL POWER!! thing at me despite my thing mostly being anime & goblin activities because I guess her having sons & her brother having a daughter meant she was gonna do that at me no matter what I was actually like" or MAYBE WORST OF ALL "young women" as in what people called me when they were telling me all about the responsibilities I was so totally ready to have and DEFINITELY UNDERSTOOD literally ANYTHING about. yes I am PREPARED to live in your SOCIETY. I understand ALL the words coming out of your mouth and will be doing things like "major in computer science" with great intentionality and awareness of my surroundings and NO adhd at all. thanks. thank you.

for me like ME PERSONALLY this disconnect was very easily gotten over by going "wait a second. women can do whatever the hell they want actually" not that this wasn't a moment that came after some scrabbling around in the mud with myself or whatever but I mean honestly. once you really commit to "lesbian" the whole "woman means AT THE MINIMUM whatever the fuck I say it does" thing is kind of small potatoes even when you have to be your own godforsaken role model for the most part. but. presumably many people who simply said "no thank you" to binary gender instead, or did whatever other thing, are coming from the same sort of general trajectory. noticing the disconnect and feeling that there's no particular reason you shouldn't do SOMETHING about it; you're already Weird (tm) or what have you.

much in common with the "am I asexual maybe? no WAIT I'm just the fucking JOKER because living in this world without having eight hundred million hangups about sex and attraction is ACTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE even for people whose BRAINS WORK" thing. there are asexual people who did not have this conversation with themselves & there are allosexual people who make conscious decisions to work on their relationship with sex without ever once considering the asexual label. there are also PRESUMABLY other people who stood at this particular fork in the road and had to sort of consider their shit for a minute like me.

spend your entire childhood Knowing (tm) that there are things about you that SEEM VERY SIGNIFICANT that 99% of the people you encounter STRAIGHT UP do not understand even a little bit & you just, you learn to look at Constructs with your eyes unfocused and just kind of take whatever you want from them and leave the rest. it's not like anyone is going to EXPLAIN any of this to you; you may as well be the expert; who cares. if any weird kids want to grow up into women (Me Edition) I'll stand here and model behaviors for them. I'm the expert now and my expert advice is that you can do whatever you want. about everything. forever. happy pride lol

[micia-posts-stuff]

Hi again! I'm sorry but I assume you misunderstood my ask completely. I wasn't talking about Levi & co saving Hanji in chap 132, but what some shippers except for LeviHans think Levi didn't think about bringing Hanji back after his war with his Zeke (that's why I brought up the "only one man" line where Levi looks desperate). I was wondering what you think of this because I've seem a lot of fans using this against LeviHan which as both us of know it's wrong. They think Levi priorized Erwin's-

(Same anon) - life over even thinking for a second whether Hanji might still be alive in RtS. It's only abt that RtS btw.

Oh you mean not bringing Hanji back during the Shiganshina battle. Well that's simply because he was outside Shiganshina and he had no idea what was going on on the other side, so he was looking for people on his side to bring back. I'm not sure what that "only one man" line you're talking about is from, I'm sorry, from what I remember Levi was looking for anyone who he could have saved, with particular regards for Erwin obviously. But honestly it doesn't make any sense for him to think of bringing Hanji back in that situation, since he didn't even know if she was dead or alive and the only thing he heard coming from the other side was Berthold's explosion, that wouldn't have left a body anyway.

Edit: in addition to what I said Levi did ask about Hanji's squad and Eren after the explosion

And Erwin's answer was that a lot of people on the other side got wiped out, again this means that there wouldn't have been a body to save. Then Erwin says that they could only assume they were the only survivors left

It's true that later they see Eren on top of the walls, so this implied that there were survivors, but from Levi prosperive he only knew that a lot of people died from the explosion and nothing else, so obviously if he could have saved a person on that side that was going to die, he would have done that, instead of seeing what was happening on the other side with the risk of not saving anyone at all.