#edit: that tag makes it seem like i normally write novella

[mrbexwrites]

Find That Word Tag Game

I was tagged by @sarahlizziewrites and have to find the following words:

settle, wiggle, stone, years, firm, sleeves, framing, guests

Some trigger warnings for abuse, violence, death and trafficking.

And, so, behold snippets containing those words below-

Settle- From Memento Mori Part I: Morgana is bonding with a ghost of a murdered woman, who was trafficked and sold into sex slavery. Ylena is opening up about the Loverboy Method of how she was trafficked by her ‘boyfriend,’ Vasily. Morgana has reluctantly agreed to help her solve her own murder.

“Sounds boring,” Ylena looked at her nails. “Anyway, Vasily and his friends were talking about moving to the UK, and how much money they were going to make there. He was always away on business, which seemed really exotic. He was always flying away somewhere. He was going to settle down and live in London, and grow his business from there.There were way more opportunities in the West and the UK was the best. So I practised my English, watched the BBC and got ready to come here.I told him that he couldn’t leave me behind.”

Wiggle- From Memento Mori Part III: In the almost 100k in these novellas, I’ve not used ‘wiggle’ once, only ‘wiggled’, so you’ll have to excuse a slight deviation from the rules! We’ve jumped in time, and Morgana has (spoilers) caught up with Vasily and *finally* managed to keep her promise to Ylena. Her non-binary sibling, Avery (Codenamed ‘The Bacchanal’) is planning a ‘small’ party to celebrate.

The elevator doors opened, and Arty rushed to meet me. 

I knelt and scooped the excited ball of fur into my arms. 

“Hey, little dude,” he licked my face and almost wiggled out of my arms. “It’s good to see you too. Uh...what the hell?” 

“Deathkins!” Avery waved at me from the snug they were curled up on. They toasted me with a daiquiri. “Congrats on conquering your evil little human trafficker. Don’t mind the Help. They’re just helping me set up for a little soirée I’m planning to celebrate our success.” 

“A little soirée?” I let Arty down, and he scampered off. “Ave…”

“I promise...just friends and family, and a few people.”

“How many?” 

“A few….honest! Cross my heart!”

“What is your definition of ‘a few’?” I had learned that Avery’s ideas of numbers and mine very much differed wildly. To me, ‘a few’ was no more than ten people.

Stone- From Memento Mori Part II: I’m not even sorry, folk! Yes, I’m not normally this chaotic, and regretting my decision to do these in the order of the words as they were given in the game, and not chronologically in the story itself. It’s been one of those days, and you’re just going to have to accept that I’ve deviated from my actual personality. Matisse is a Millenium Citizen, like Morgana, but with healing powers. This is just a snippet from a filler scene to a) build the character a littler, but also, to help me hit that sweet, sweet 50K NaNoWriMo word count, baby!

I made my way back to the store room that was my makeshift bedroom, kicking a small stone with my shoe. Not looking where I was going, I bumped into Matisse. He sported a black eye, and a cut across his nose. 

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine in an hour or so,” he pulled the bloodied bandage away from his nose, a blood clot falling away from his nostril. “Nothing that I can’t handle.” 

“You don’t look okay,” I peered up at him, the worry must have been etched clearly on my face, as he waved me off. 

“Yesterday took a lot out of me,” the bandage went back to his nose, stemming the bleeding. “I just need something to eat . Time heals all wounds,” he chuckled to himself. “At least it does for me.” 

I handed him my half-eaten cereal bar from Clay. 

Years- From Memento Mori Part IV: Last year’s NaNoWriMo attempt that I wrote whist battling a kidney infection and enjoying the codeine that the NHS prescribed me. Needless to say, it needs a lot of work and some tough-love editing/major re-writes. It’s a darling that refuses to die, mainly because I was trying to write a happily-ever-after-fluff peice, which is essentially fanfic for myself.  This is some context for a couple of new ghosts that Morgana has ‘acquired’ on her journey to New Mexico and the made-up town that I invented to base some story events there!

August had tried to arrest Jeremiah, after he’d fled Arizona, having held up a bank, stealing two hundred dollars of cash, and several rings and necklaces off of the ladies who were in with their husbands, and according to him, some stolen kisses were also exchanged. He’d double crossed his own gang to ensure he got away with the money, and crossed into New Mexico, not realising that August Washington, the son of a freed slave, was hot on his heels. 

They’d gotten into a firefight, each man taking six bullets to the torso. Jeremiah had taken a bullet to the neck, ending his short life; he had been twenty four years old when he bled out on the sand not far from where Halo Rock had been founded.

Firm- Back to Memento Mori Part I: (I’m not even sorry any more guys!) Morgana is getting deeper into her investigation into Ylena’s murder, and her own police work is starting to intersect with the detectives’ from Police Scotland, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as Morgana has an excuse to see West a bit more (bow chicka wow wow!)

West led me over to his desk, and offered me a seat. I sat clutching my bag to my chest. He had dark circles under his eyes, and dark stubble was taking over his face, and his sandy hair was ruffled. His shirt was crumpled, as if he’d been asleep in it. 

“It’s been a long night,” he sat his coffee down and sat back against his chair. “Got assigned to a suspicious fire in Drumchapel.”

“The NCA safehouse?” 

“I would ask how you know about that, but having seen your starring role in the Skeptikz video, consider me a firm believer in your skills.” 

“You’ve watched it?” I groaned. 

“Tell him to deal with my case,” Ylena demanded, perching on the desk with her arms crossed. 

“After meeting you the other day, I wanted to see why Samuels recommended you. I mean, we all know about you, but it’s just been stuff from the papers. But the guv, she trusts you, so there had to be more than just what the press say.  So, it was good timing when I searched for you online, and the newest video for those guys was the first hit.” 

“I thought you looked familiar,” Cammie called from his desk. “Ghost Girl! You sure gave that guy the heebie jeebies!” 

Sleeves- From Part II: Okay, so I’m going to try to stick with some semblance of chronological order now. This is me trying to give some world-building/Lore for the Millennium Citizens. I like the idea of not having to explain everything (Like Robin Hobb and the Elderlings- they just are) but that said, in-world context is necessary, especially when you accidentally form a plot along that one bloody thing you didn’t want to focus on.

I thought of the Aon, lurking somewhere deep in the Beyond, its blue eyes hunting for me. 

“The old gods,” Rizwan chuckled and shook his head. “They weren’t omnipotent, all-knowing beings. They were fallible. They were human. They weren’t separate from their people. Sure, they might live in a high mountain, but if someone was brave enough, they could climb up and steal from them.”

“Like Prometheus,” I picked up and studied the clothes that Aisha had brought me. She had leant me one of her dresses; black with red flowers embroidered on the sleeves and hem. I pulled it on over my head. 

Framing-From Searching for Starlight, my attempt at Sci-Fi. A small snippet from a party, that’s about to become a bloody coup attempt.

A band with musical instruments that were foreign, yet familiar, started to play. Everyone’s attention turned to the small stage, and Rashmi saw Sekhmet’s lips twitch into a smile. 

Asase, her dark, curled hair framing her features like a halo stood before the microphone. Her voluptuous figure was shown off by the purple sequinned dress she wore, a high slit up the side gave away a hint of skin, that had it gone any higher, would have been scandalous. 

Waiting for the music to reach its crescendo, Asase started to sing, her voice low and husky, making Rashmi’s arms tingle. Whatever spell Sekhmet had cast on the room was broken, and all eyes turned to the singer, transfixed. 

Guests-Further on in the scene from Searching for Starlight.  Rashmi has been trying to avoid Riassa, but now the Councillor has managed to get her in her sights!

“Perhaps, then, you would care for some company,” a tall woman, over seven feet tall stood next to her table. She wore a high collared dress that ran all the way to her feet. It was cinched at her waist, and her head was covered in a semi-circular hat that reminded Rashmi of a crescent moon. The woman didn’t wait for an invitation, but pulled out the seat Kai had vacated and sat next to her. 

“Bright One,” the woman bowed her head slightly, and Rashmi felt her stomach sink. She had never met the Luminarian Councillor, but Riassa’s reputation was well known to her. “I hope you had a chance to read what I passed onto you. It is such a shame that Corporal Alonic was taken away and placed on a cruiser headed for Harbourage. Due to his redeployment, he wasn’t able to pass on your response about meeting.”

“I’m afraid that I’ve been busy,” Rashmi tried to keep her voice even. 

“Yes, you have been so very busy lately, being asked to crew the Windjammer with Switchpace and her crew of odd-balls. But yet, here you are, without an escort, and in public for the galaxy to see. Why do you think that is?”

“Because my commanding officer was awarded a medal, and invited me along. And a contingent from my home world are here as guests of the Assembly?”

“Oh! That is darling!” Riassa laughed, a soft tinkling sound that reminded Rashmi of chimes in the wind. “No, my dear. You’re out in public, because you’re not that special, and no longer worth hiding away.”

I'm going to tag @thecatsgrave, @lindira @angelicminds, @thelemoncannibal and anyone else who wants to join in!

Your words are: Steer, ghost, scarf, protect, flaunt, slight, fingers, cackle

[drkdrgns]

id do a starter call but my track record says i wont do any of them so instead ill wait for everyone to post memes so i can send 5 at a time

[anguisette90]

Mid Year Freakout Tag!

Tagged by the always wonderful @over-a-rainbow.

1. Best book you have read in 2021 so far?

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin. Absolutely beautiful and compelling and weird in the best way.

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read In 2021 So Far?

Gonna have to cheat and dip back into late 2020 because most of what I've read this year have been stand-alone or first in a series and of the two sequels I've read, calling either 'best' seems questionable. So, I'm going with Saints Astray by Jacqueline Carey, both because it managed to be super fun and also to make me cry at the same time, and because it was something so completely different than the first book (Santa Olivia) but still felt like an organic continuation of the story.

3.A New Release You Want To Check Out?

The Hidden Palace by Helene Wecker. Kind of cheating with this as well, in that I still haven't read The Golem and the Jinni, but my wife read it a few years back and it's been on my to-read list since due to her rave reviews. I'm looking forward to reading both soon (though 'soon' could mean tomorrow or two years from now at the rate I go.)

4. Most Anticipated Book Release Of The Second Half Of The Year?

I don't know if there's anything I'm particularly looking forward to, though I welcome suggestions of things I should be anticipating! My only pre-order so far for the rest of 2021 is the Lore Olympus book, which I'm eagerly awaiting but, y'know, I've already read it online a couple of dozen times so...

5.Biggest Disapointment?

I hate to say it but the October Daye books, by Seanan McGuire. Not that they're bad just, I think I went into it with my expectations too high. It's got everything I love, but somehow I got three or four books in and just felt astoundingly meh about it.

6. Biggest Surprise?

The Darker Shade of Magic books by V.E. Schwab. It wasn't the series I expected it to be going in, and honestly I expected to be at least two tiers higher on the obsession chart with it than I am, but it did a lot of things that I didn't expect. The plot was mostly predictable and there are a lot of things you see coming from a mile away, but the joy of these books is definitely in the journey and the little things in between. Nothing shakes out exactly how you imagine which is enjoyable. She also does really fun things with her word choice and writing style. "Her words were hollow, and his own fear ricocheted inside them, filling the space." is possibly my favorite sentence.

7. Favorite New Author (Ether New To You Or Debut).

New implies that I don't just read the same five authors over and over. Honestly, my Kindle history is just like "Really? You're reading this again? You know there are hundreds of books in your account right? Fine, I guess here's (*insert any Dresden book, any of the Kushiel books, or the Phantom Tollbooth*)" This ignores David Eddings because when I reread his works I read from my print copies.

8. Favorite New Fictional Crush?

Toss up between Rhy the himbo prince, and Alucard the ludicrously named pirate, both from ADSOM. I mean, honestly that episode of Parks & Rec where they're talking about Game of Thrones and Donna's like "Everybody on that show can get it!"? That, but with the cast of that book series.

Honorable mention to Navani from Stormlight. Turns out once Sanderson lets her have POVs for something other than Dalinar's character development she's amazing and I both want her and want to be her? But this was also a late 2020 discovery so, honorable mention.

9. Newest Favorite Character?

Rereading The Elenium/Tamuli by David Eddings for the first time since I was a wee person and I fully did not appreciate Sparhawk and the sheer big d*ck energy he brings to the table as a child. I mean, my gods, the man is ridiculous.

10. A Book That Made You Cry?

None yet this year. Does @laurabeatrix 's fic beautiful short story inspired by contemporary works count? Legit the only story to make me cry so far this year.

11. A Book That Made You Happy?

Dawnshard by Sanderson. I ended up reading it out of order, because I agreed to read it with the wife and she reads slow, so I read Rhythm of War first and circled back to it when she got caught up (and then re-read half of Rhythm of War over her shoulder, which is what normally happens with new books that we're both fans of.) But it was such a perfect novella and I'm always glad for more Rysn.

12. Most Beautiful Book You Have Bought or Received This Year?

Aesthetically beautiful? Either our Way of Kings leatherbound books (can't remember if they arrived in 2020 or 2021) or that gorgeous Grim Oak edition of Storm Front.

Beautifully written has to go to The City We Became again. I'm actively in love with the way it's written.

13. What Book Do You Need To Read By The End Of The Year?

Clan of the Cave Bear - because it's a friend's "I've read this series fifteen times and I need to be able to geek out about it with other people!" series, and as someone who will not shut up about the Dresden Files, I feel morally obligated to read other peoples' unhealthy obsessions.

The Ruins of Gorlan - because I promised a fledgling nerd (friend's son) that I would read it. As someone who was once a fledgling nerd myself, I can recall being stoked any time one of my mom's super need friends either recommended something to me or took my recommendation so, time to pay it forward.

I'm not tagging anyone because, well, the only people I interact with on Tumblr with any regularity were already tagged in the original post 😂 But if you're seeing this and you're interested, consider yourself tagged.

[writingquestionsanswered]

hi! do you have any tips on keeping your works short? even if i intended to write a drabble or a short story, i always end up extending it (and most of the time, not finishing the story at all). thanks!

Writing Short Fiction

The major key to writing short works, whether drabbles or short stories (and everything in between), is to understand that short fiction doesn’t work the same way as long fiction, such as novelettes, novellas, and novels.

With long fiction, you’re typically going to follow the story structure that begins with introducing the setting and the character’s normal life, followed by the inciting incident, rising action to the climax, and falling action to the end. The protagonist has internal and external goals that relate to the conflict, a clear motivation and rising stakes, and must overcome a series of obstacles created by an antagonistic force. The story is more or less a complete circle, where the threads that were unwound during the story are mostly tied up by the end.

With short fiction, you’re typically highlighting a snippet of what could be considered a much bigger story. Some level of introduction is necessary, of course, but we don’t go through the rigorous setup of setting and character that we would in long fiction. It’s more of a “need to know” basis where the important details are doled out quickly so the story can move forward. Any important setup required to understand where we are at the beginning is doled out as quickly, succinctly, and directly as possible. There’s not as much expenditure on superfluous details to make the story pretty. Every detail needs to pull its weight.

Short fiction also focuses more on the theme or moral point, though rather than the lengthy explanation of these one might expect in long fiction, these points and what’s important about them are illustrated as efficiently as possible. There’s also often a bit of a sting at the end, whether that comes from a twist, a harsh moral truth, the reveal of a strong irony, or just something with strong emotional impact.

So, for example, a short story based on The Hunger Games might begin the moment after Katniss has volunteered as tribute. We learn the important details (setting, character, conflict) quickly and directly as she mentally reviews them while being led away from the Reaping. We learn more about her dystopian world and the things important to her as she visits with her mother, sister, and Gale. And then, perhaps, she notices the other tribute saying goodbye to his own family, and she thinks back to the time he saved her and her family’s life with a loaf of bread. Then she considers the fact that she’ll have to kill him so she can survive and return to her own family. There’s the sting. And that would be the end. It wouldn’t be about the Hunger Games event or the ensuing rebellion, but rather a snapshot of this one horrific human moment. There would be more to it, of course, in terms of positing and expressing the right theme to go with that string of events. But the point is you’re trying to boil a bigger concept into the moment that best encapsulates everything about it.

Other tips for writing short fiction:

- Know the word count you’re striving for:

microfiction = up to 100 words

flash fiction = 100 to 1500 words

short story = 1500 to 7500 words

novelette = 7500 to 20,000 words

novella = 20,000 to 50,000 words

novel = 50,000 to 110,000 words

epic = 110,000 words and up

- Decide on the theme or moral point of your story and figure out ahead of time how to best illustrate it.

- Focus only on the most important details.

- Limit description to what’s necessary and efficient.

- Every moment and scene must be absolutely necessary to move the story forward. Resist the temptation to include “fluff.”- Keep dialogue short and to the point. 

- Focus on characters that are absolutely necessary to the story. Don’t worry about giving detailed personalities, lengthy back stories, or mini-character arcs to minor characters. It’s okay for the maid to just be Suzie the maid. You can do a simple illustration of her appearance and personality, and even include a background detail or two if it’s relevant to the story, but no need to go into further detail unless she plays a major role in the story.

- Remember that you can cut your word count down significantly in editing by eliminating unnecessary words (like filler words: that, just, only, really, very, totally, completely, literally, almost, seemed, actually, basically, sort of, a little…) and cutting down on dialogue tags (every line of dialogue doesn’t need a said, asked, replied, etc.), and watching out for redundant and unnecessary words (”I’m meeting with my boss” can just be “I’m meeting my boss.” And “walked loudly” can be “stomped.”)

- Most important of all, be sure to read some of the type of fiction you want to write yourself. Learning by example is one of the best ways to learn your craft.

[thorne93]

Old Flame, New Problems (Part 7)

Prompt: You’re in a serious relationship with Sebastian Stan, when news from your first love informs you that he’s now single and in need of a friend. Will your old flame burn out or will the flames get fanned and consume you?

Word Count: 3602

Warning: language, angst, fighting (verbal), cheating, drama

Notes: This idea came to me when news hit about Hayden and Rachel splitting. Of course I’m sad that a long time relationship such as theirs is ending, but it also means he’s single sooo…Also, no hate towards Rachel. I don’t know her, don’t know what really happened between them, etc. It’s a fic and in no way reflects what I think of either of them or their precious daughter ^.^

Beta’d by my #1 gal @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​ & flashbacks in italics

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr​ @kaeling

Sebastian Stan Tag: @nedthegay @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange @buenostardissherlock @lenawiinchester @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi @memory-of-a-goldfish @mellsstark

Old Flame Tag: @blackwidow-romanoff @seargantbcky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Did you get my gift?” Hayden said into the phone, a smile in his voice.

“Yes! I just got it! I’m going to unwrap the box now!” you said excitedly, sitting it down on the counter along with the huge bouquet of fresh flowers that just got delivered. “Thank you for the flowers, they’re stunning and vibrant.” Hayden laughed in response to your glee. You tore open the packaging, wondering what your LA based boyfriend had sent. Inside was a first edition of one of your favorite books, a new notebook and engraved fountain pen, and a photo of him kissing your cheek on a windy day in the park, framed.

“Oh...Hay, this is so...perfect,” you gushed. “Thank you. I miss you too much.”

“Just a little reminder of how much I love and miss you…”

Back home, everything settled back into the normal pace. Sebastian working, reading lines, going to table reads, and interviews. You, working on your books and your agent working with you on the upcoming promos you would do for the book. The two of you didn’t see a reason to travel for the book tour just yet, and thought it would be best to do two signings a week in NYC at various places. This was good news for you, and for Sebastian. It meant more time together.

However, Hayden had been a constant on your mind since the text. You were worried about him, your other feelings aside, he was your friend, and you knew what he dealt with. It was amazing that Sebastian understood the struggles as well. You had wanted to reach out a few times, of course talking to Seb about it first, but you didn’t want to  push your luck. Yet, as soon as you landed, and got set up in your office, you texted him.

“Hey, things are better between Seb and I. He forgave me and understood the situation. I just wanted to let you know I’m still here if you needed a friend.”

You put your phone down and went to work for a bit. The wait for a response was making you uneasy. Was he ignoring you? Was he mad at you? Was he okay?

But after twenty minutes, you got a reply.

“Nice to see you two resolved everything. I’m really sorry for the problems I caused, Y/N, it wasn’t my intention.”

“It’s fine. Let’s just move forward, okay? How are you holding up about Rachel and Briar Rose?”

“Not too good, honestly. I can’t absorb it. It hurts a whole hell of a lot to not see Briar every day. Rachel...that’s getting easier. We were drifting for a long time...But not seeing my daughter, knowing she’s in LA...thousands of miles away from me, it kills me.”

You read his message, your heart aching for him, wishing there was something you could do.

“I’m sorry. What can I do to help?”

“Nothing you can do.”

“There has to be something,” you tried back desperately.

“You could distract me. Tell me all about your writing news, anything new?”

You leaned back in your office chair, going into full detail about your novella, and your short story, and the news on the book promos. A smile was on your face as you continued to text for the better part of the day. You had practically forgotten all about writing, which was fine since you were well ahead of schedule.

While he and Rachel were together, you had subconsciously started talking less unless until your ritual of the call on the birthdays, text on Thanksgiving, and card on Christmas became normal. But texting him now, laughing and giggling, you remembered how much he made you laugh and made your lighter side come o.

You used to feel so safe with him, so at ease, it was always effortless between the two of you, at least until the strain of distance became too much. Talking to him again brought all of that back, the feeling of being home in a way you never had with anyone else, not even with Seb. But then you remembered that even if Hayden was that for you, you weren’t that to him. He had chosen another woman, someone other than you to create a home with, to start a family with, to share his life with, and that wasn't something you could ignore. It didn't matter what you felt for Hayden, he had made it clear he didn't feel the same, both in his actions and his words.

But that was a different time, a different circumstance. Now it seemed things could be what you had always wanted with him. A quiet, settled down life…That thought alone was enough to ignite that spark within you, that small fire that was hope. Hope for a future with the man you once loved so deeply.

--------------------

Over the course of the next week, the texting and calling stayed constant, talking about random things, about movies, joking around, recalling funny memories and reminiscing. Sebastian didn’t seem to mind that you were pretty much tethered to your phone because he was too preoccupied with work. He had flown out of town about a week and a half ago to do some rehearsals for his new movie.

Sebastian tried to keep in contact but his efforts to reach out were coming further apart. A text in the morning, maybe, and sometimes a call at night, if you were lucky. You texted about a five to one ratio with him. But it wasn’t his fault, it was work, he was pulling sixteen hour days, and you knew that….Didn’t make it suck any less to not see or talk to the man that was away from you for six months only a month and a half ago.

Whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder could fuck off, because all it did was hurt and worry you. There was nothing fond about the thousands of miles separating you from your boyfriend.

At one of your book signings at Barnes and Noble, you had about fifty people come up for a signing, and the next patron was in line and you slapped on a smile for them. “Hey, how are you today--” you started to ask before you got stopped cold. “Hayden?” you gasped. He hated being out in the public eye, so why the hell was he at your signing? In NYC? With tons of media coverage?

“Hey,” he greeted sheepishly, the boyish smile popping onto his face again, making your heart flutter. He was donning a white shirt, and over it, a deep black military coat, with dark jeans.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, half in a panic, half wishing he could stay. “Don’t tell me you want the book signed,” you teased, glancing down to his hands. He did, in fact, have your book in his hands.

“Actually…” he said, handing it to you.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “You’re ridiculous.” Opening the cover, you found a good spot to write, trying to decide what to put in his book. You’d never signed books for anyone you knew other than your family.

To the man who inspired a legacy, thank you for being there for me, always. ~ Love, Y/N

You closed the book and handed it back to him.

“There ya go,” you said with a smile. “But you didn’t come all the way down here for me to sign my stupid book, so what’s up?”

He grinned. “You caught me. I’m down here for filming.”

“You didn’t tell me you were working on anything,” you accused lightly.

He shrugged, the smile still on his face. “I wasn’t sure if it was a done deal. I just got the call a few days ago, saw that you’d be here, thought I’d swing by to surprise you.”

You laughed. “Consider me surprised. I’m so happy to see you,” you said, more emotion in your voice than you intended.

“Yeah, you too…”

A sweet moment seemed to linger between you two as your eyes looked into his.

“Would you want to get lunch?” he suddenly asked.

“Uh...Hay…” you started, knowing this wasn’t a good idea, knowing it was dangerous, knowing that around him, everything was a slippery slope. Your agent came up to you and whispered that you needed to move it along.

“Can we talk after this?” you asked, gesturing to the line behind him.

“Oh, sure, sorry,” he apologized, his face turning red as he stepped out of line.

“You can stand there,” you quietly instructed him, pointing right next to the table. For the last ten minutes, you sat there signing books and chatting with fans, all while Hayden watched you with adoration and fascination. Although you had been writing for twenty years, you had evolved, it seemed. You were already mature while you two dated but...now you seemed to have this new classiness about you. You were refined, sweeter, more patient. He didn’t know how he didn’t notice it when you were on his farm, maybe because you were far out of your element.

Once everyone was gone and they started packing up the few of your books that were left over and the other advertising and marketing materials, your agent said goodbye to you and you went over to Hayden.

You’d thought about his proposition, knowing it was a dangerous game to play, you two alone, but if you couldn’t trust yourself, how could you ask Seb to?

“So...lunch? I’m craving some frozen yogurt,” you informed and he laughed.

“Anything you wish,” he said as he offered you his arm and took it.

------------------

The two of you had a light lunch of salads and bread to make room for the frozen yogurt you were desperately craving. You walked along the street, just strolling, casually talking about his film and the book signing.

“So how long are you in town?” you asked, scooping your spoon into the frozen treat.

“Till Christmas, maybe a little less. It’s not all based in New York so…” he explained.

“I’m looking forward to it, whatever it is.” Just then, your phone rang. “Oh, hang on just a sec,” you requested kindly as you shifted yourself to get to your phone. “Hey, Seb,” you greeted with a smile.

“Hey, babe. We took a fucking break, finally. God damn. I’m tired...Ugh...Anyway, how was the book signing? Are you done with it?”

“It went well. We sold almost all the copies we brought,” you informed, your eyes drifting to your friend and instantly you knew you needed to tell Sebastian he was in the city.

“That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you. So what are you up to now?” he inquired.

You bit your lip, looking at Hayden who stood looking at you with a concerned expression.

“Uh, actually, I’m hanging out with Hayden,” you explained, knowing you needed to follow up, quickly. “He’s in town for filming, and stopped by to say hi.”

“So...you’re just hanging out? The two of you? Alone?”

“Alone, with about a hundred other people on the sidewalk here in SOHO,” you informed, the tiniest laugh in your voice.

“Y/N…” he started, his voice strained. “I’m not really comfortable with this.”

“Why? Do you not trust me?”

“It’s not that...it’s just...the last time you two were along, you weren’t exactly faithful,” he reminded.

“So you don’t trust me?” you said, it almost sounded like a question but  it was more of an affirmation to what you had heard. “Look, you forgave me. It's not fair for you to keep dragging it up whenever it suits you. You either trust me or you don't, easy as that.”

“It’s not that easy. Yes I forgave you, I know, but I get insecure when you're around him, especially since I’m hundreds of miles away and it was distance that strained us the last time,” he reminded in a relatively calm voice. At this, you decided to face away from Hayden, trying to keep the fight a little more private.

“Need I remind you, it wasn't just distance, Sebastian. But either way, you and I are in a better place now. But this relationship will never work if we can't trust each other.”

“I know. I do trust you, but it would be nice if you tried to put yourself in my shoes as well... see this from my point of view. I did it for you, to forgive you. I saw it from your side. Now see it from mine. He’s still single, he’s still lonely, you still have feelings for him…”

You bit your lip. You didn’t tell Sebastian that, not outright. You’d said you would always love him, but most people held a special place in their heart for their first love and you were no exception.

“So you think I can’t control myself? Sebastian, we’re better. You and I are better now, we’re fine. You can trust me.”

“I don't want you hanging out with him until I’m home,” he said. His side of the fight was fair, you knew that. But did he really think you would just betray him again?

“You know, if I was going to cheat again, I wouldn’t tell you that he was here and that he was hanging out with me. If you think I need a chaperone or supervision, just say so,” you responded, getting angry.

“Maybe that’s what you need,” he retorted, upset himself. “I don’t see how this is so hard for you to figure out, Y/N. You two together is a bad idea.”

“I am capable of controlling myself,” you responded in a low voice.

“You sure about that?” he asked.

Your mouth fell open. “I’m going to hang out with my friend, if you have a problem with that, then that’s your deal, not mine. I’ll talk to you when you’ve gotten over this.” You hung up and spun back to Hayden. “Ready to go?”

“Where are we going?”

“My place. I wanna watch something with blood and gore,” you said, starting to storm up the sidewalk.

“Y/N,” he said, jogging to keep up with you, “if this is going to be a problem, I can just leave. I just thought it would be nice to see you since I would be in town, a friendly face, someone who knows what I’m going through. But if this is going to create a problem...”

You stopped and turned to face him. “You aren't the problem, Hayden, it’s him. Ugh,” you groaned. “The thing that happened between you and I was a mix of you being hurt, old feelings, and my anger at Seb. You know why I was mad at him?” you asked.

He looked left and right then answered, unsure, “Because he was ignoring you?”

“That’s only half of it,” you stated. “First, it was the six months with barely interaction. No big deal at first, I was busy with my novel, publishing, editing, all that fun shit. But then my writing slowed down, and I started to notice the calls were only about two or three times a week and maybe ten texts.” Hayden went to open his mouth but you stopped him by raising a hand. “I know, he’s busy. I get it. I know how hard actors work, I’ve been with enough to know it’s not easy and how many hours they have to go through. But it wasn’t just that. It was the fact that he didn’t read my book not till I had asked him about it a few more times. It’s about the fact that when he got home, he barely kissed me, and ran to bed. It’s about the fact that every night I tried to do anything intimate with him, he said he was tired and rolled over. Or if I tried in the morning, he told me he was late.”

You stopped to get a breath of air.

“Or dinner. I get it, he works hard, grueling hours. But sometimes having dinner brought in would be nice too. I spend every day cleaning, watching after Spinee, cooking, shopping, laundry, and writing. But some help would be nice. Not much, but ordering takeout or a pizza….Or maybe offering to clean the kitchen for once. I work too. It’s that this isn’t a two way street any more. He just expects me to do all of this shit without any appreciation. I was tired of being the invisible maid to him. Not once while he was away did he send flowers, or have a pizza delivered, or send chocolates, or hell, even read my fucking story. I mean, should I really have to beg him to read it? You read my shit and we hardly ever speak...” you said, waving your hand absently at your friend who listened to you rant.

“Why don’t we go get you home and we can talk and you can vent all you want? But out on the street…” he said, insinuating a media frenzy would start soon if they saw the two of you, clearly talking about something heated.

“Fine.”

You hailed a cab, the two of you climbed in, and once you got home, you offered him something to drink.

“Coffee if you have it. What’s this guy’s name?” he asked, petting Spinee, who had initially barked a few times at him.

“Spinee,” you informed as you set to work making the coffee. “I’m sorry about the rant. I guess….Yes, I know we kissed. I know I betrayed him. I know he’s in a tough spot, but he makes it out like he wasn’t to blame for me starting to stray in the first place. It’s not my fault he’s been absent in this relationship for seven or so months…” you commented angrily, nearly muttering yourself by the end of the rant. You placed the mug in front of Hayden at the counter as he sat on a stool.

“Is he really all that bad?” he questioned, knowing you were probably just frustrated.

You shook your head and sighed, leaning backwards against the island. “No. I still love him...and I know I fucked up...I know it’s not going to be easy to trust me...But...to tell me I can’t even hang out with you is just ludacris.”

“He has a fair point,” Hayden countered.

Shaking your head again, you replied, “I thought the last month was a sign of things getting better. He was spending time with me, making me a priority, doing sweet things...was that all just out of jealousy? Was he just doing all that stuff as a response to us?” you wondered.

“Does it matter why he did them, if he did them? Isn’t that what counts? That he was thinking of you?” Hayden questioned.

“Yes, it does matter. I want him to want to be near me, to want to do things with me or for me because he loves me, not because he’s afraid he’s going to lose me if he doesn’t. I want him to do this stuff because he wants it...not just a tactic to keep me from leaving,” you quietly said, crossing your arms.

He hung his head, nodding to the side. “I get that. So what are you gonna do? Just keep fighting him about us hanging out?”

“I’m just going to remind him that the last time I did something I shouldn’t have, I came clean. We went through hell and back just to be on good terms, why would I screw that up now?”

“I see.”

“Look, it’s not your problem,” you said, your voice lifting a bit. “Come on, let’s forget about relationship problems and watch something,” you suggested, waving him over to the couch.

“Sounds like a plan.”

But you couldn’t forget about the problems. How could you? You had told Sebastian that the kiss up at his farm was a one time thing, something to get out of your system, something to help you get over him. And in a way, you thought it had. Texting and calling really did feel friendly, but the instant you saw him in that bookstore, everything came crashing back down around you. For a few moments, Sebastian had completely left your mind and all you saw was Hayden, your first love, the one you always felt that had got away.

You had no idea how to feel. Hayden and you had been over for over ten years now, but yet, when you were right next to each other, it was as if nothing had changed. He was still the same sweet, funny, chill, easy going guy you’d fallen in love with. He still made the same dumb jokes. Being next to him you felt at the most ease in the entire world. He felt so comfortable...Inviting...He felt like home.

Yet...Sebastian was similar. Being in his arms at night, you’d never felt safer. Being by his side for the few events you could go to felt natural. Dancing with him at events or just randomly at home always gave you butterflies and you felt connected to him. He was the first man since Hayden to make you feel like you could even love again, even let someone in. When he was away, you missed him so much, and your writing reflected that. It usually turned darker and more somber while he was away.

[sakuseisuru-blog]

BASIC

don’t steal my stuff. that includes icons, my writing, edits, etc unless it’s utterly important, i don’t do callouts. i will not reblog them or partake in any drama that’s involved the only tags i have blacklisted are: sydrian, sydney x adrian, adrian x sydney. the ship isn’t in any fandom i’m in, but i generally don’t like them as a couple and don’t want them on my dash at all for whatever reason to add onto the triggers, i tag mine like: trigger / feel free to ask me for my skype or snapchat ;*

THREADS / INTERACTIONS

i only interact with mutuals, so any asks and likes on a starter call from someone who i don’t follow will probs be ignored and deleted i’m okay with one liners, multi paras, and novella when it comes to length in threads. but my muse isn’t that great honestly so the length will always depend on my mood and how much i’m feeling rohan. it’ll also help if the thread and / or ask is plotted beforehand between a job and uni, i’m p busy most the time so it’ll take me a while to get to asks / threads and even then i’m slow af sorry i do format my posts and gussy up my icons, but that doesn’t mean i expect everyone else to. u don’t need any of that to impress me ! i’m happy as long as ur charactersation is good i couldn’t care less. and if u have a problem with how i format my posts then pls tell me

FOLLOWS / MAINS

guess what………….. i’m picky abt who i follow !!! as long as u tag ur shit and have a blog i can easily get around / easily get to rules, about, navigation, etc then ya’ll should be fine even tho i’m selective i still encourage anyone from any fandom to follow me ! im a-okay with mains. in fact, i encourage them. however im really not that interested in exclusives. they just seem to really limit the possibility of interacting with other blogs and tbh ????? that’s what i’m here to do, interact with people and make new friends. so pls don’t ask to be exclusive with me bc i will say no, but hmu to be mains since some peeps don’t know, to me if ur muse is a main with mine then ur muse will be the muse mine goes to first, will talk about in most threads, and will be included in on headcanons

SHIPS

i’m multi ship. however, that doesn’t mean it’s my main focus of this blog. i enjoy brotps and hate ships just as much obviously, there needs to be development between our muse’s first. chemistry is a must too bc i just can’t match rohan with anyone y'know ??? it’s a lot like normal relationships u just can’t date anyone there needs to be attraction between the two i don’t have any favourite ships for rohan in particular so if u wanna discuss a ship feel free to hmu i’m only going to ship with one said character at a time ! that means that if i’m shipping with saidmuse then that means i’m not going to ship with another saidmuse. but i can bend that rule slightly if the muse is an au version of said muse, like a dark!muse for example if u wanna ship with me then pls remember that i will probs devote myself to that ship !! i will make edits and send asks and just headcanons abt our muse’s relationships don’t force a ship on me or rohan bc i will not hesitate to block u i’m over 18, so smut is an option for ships once developed

[derangedknifefreak]

Rules

I hardly need this page since I’m pretty much open to anything as long as it’s discussed priory. But I’ll try to put down some of my standards. Always feel free to message me about anything! Even if it’s completely unrelated.

1.   Undertale related roleplay only

2.   OC friendly (I can be picky)

3.   AU friendly

4.    Para style roleplays only, novella style only for extensive and complicated plots. One liners are fine for texting and such.

5.   This blog is not private, no need to be mutuals to rp!

6.   I’m open to smut (chara only) and all other sorts of adult themed and triggering rp, as well as normal rp. I’m not into horror rp’s, although pretty much anything with chara can turn into a bloodbath of death and destruction but… yeah, no straight up horror-plot.

7.   Open to any and all ships. But please discuss them OOC first.

8.   I allow experienced rp’ers who know and understand my character well, to make assumptions and slightly direct my muse’s actions. Please never write what my Muse is thinking though, that’s rather too personal.

9.   I have several triggers but I write them anyway because I love to torture myself, so if I’m crying and screaming in the tags in our threat…. Don’t mind it, I’m probably enjoying myself.

10. I’m not very selective but I won’t rp with people who don’t know how to use punctuation. In fact; please use as much as possible. I’m dyslectic so…  i literally cant read sentences like this you know exactly what i mean right but so many people just cant seem to use commas for some reason and i dont even know why.

11. My Muse is a post-playthrough character, so if you rp as a canon I will assume they know your muse, unless you explicitly ask to set up their meeting differently.

12. I’m always willing to adapt to your verse. If I make mistakes in my posts I will always be willing to change them.

13. I accept spontaneous starters, you don’t have to discuss plot beforehand to rp with me.

14. If neither your message nor your pages mention anything about the universe we’re playing I’ll assume we’re in the canon universe. This means we’re rping in a game and my muse, with her ability to edit the files, will be aware of this.

15. I don’t mind my rp’s being reblogged, but please respect my rp partners’ rules regarding this subject. If they prefer you don’t reblog rp’s you’re not a part of, please don’t do it.

16. I’m open to group rp’s! It’s in fact number 1 on my wishlist.

If you want to let me know you read my rules, just like this post! Not required.