#edit: thanks tumblr for messing up the structure of this post. it looks less cool now. Oh well

[mikumadds]

Who wants to follow me on Fashion Dreamer? :) Visit my showroom!!! my code is RB3RyjK6kv

Send me your code and we can have fun together :3

i have more cute pictures under the cut!

Just me goofin off with a bunch of people I gave lookits to! (for those who don't play, lookits are outfit designs, usually based on the person's style preferences :3)

[badolmen]

I posted 8,265 times in 2021

Oh gosh it’s so long lmao

480 posts created (6%)

7785 posts reblogged (94%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 16.2 posts.

I added 18,479 tags in 2021

#ra - 7696 posts

#art - 3362 posts

#funny - 2185 posts

#pretty - 1629 posts

#oh mood - 778 posts

#cool - 683 posts

#cute - 667 posts

#true - 517 posts

#ra speaks - 501 posts

#others ocs - 461 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#like every now and then i get messages like ‘thanks for keeping this fandom alive!’ and ‘this fandom still exists??? awesome!!’ an it’s like

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Heisenberg is cool however he is an overly dramatic bitch-ass white boy.

[ID: A three panel meme of a white woman, a teacher, speaking to a young white boy, her student. The woman is labeled ‘Miranda’ and the boy ‘Heisenberg.’

In the first panel Miranda says, ‘You made a lot of people in the village very nervous.’ In the second panel Heisenberg responds, ‘That’s because they’re a bunch of bitch-ass white boys.’ In the final panel Miranda says, ‘I hate to break this to you, but you are also a bitch-ass white boy.’ /End ID]

123 notes • Posted 2021-05-30 14:37:04 GMT

#4

I will never not be slightly irked that Ethan Winters immediately rejects Heisenberg’s offer.

Like. Ethan you have NO IDEA how to put Rose back together and this man is OFFERING TO GET YOU YOUR WHOLE DAUGHTER BACK AND KICK MOTHER MIRANDA’S ASS WITH YOU and you tell him to fuck off? AND you obviously think/know you are strong enough to beat this guy one on one so like even if Heisenberg was going to betray you post-murdering Mommy M you could absolutely kick his ass AND have Miranda dead AND have your daughter back in one piece you moron, you fool, you brainless man thing.

176 notes • Posted 2021-05-28 23:27:58 GMT

#3

Thinking about how Dream’s big thing was that he wanted to bring people together in his messed up way and how the most enduring structures Tommy ever built on the server were paths that connected areas and made travel easier that everyone uses or walks on basically daily and I just

y’know???

264 notes • Posted 2021-04-25 15:28:55 GMT

#2

[ID: an image of three hands interlocking to hold each other’s wrist. They are labeled ‘Ethan Winters,’ ‘Mike Munroe,’ and ‘Miles Upshur.’ The center of the hand circle reads, ‘Horror Hand Trauma Trio.’ /End ID]

I couldn’t edit this to remove the appropriate missing digits but I also live for irony.

423 notes • Posted 2021-05-16 21:48:26 GMT

#1

Y’know it’s something I never really realized until it was less noticeable but trying to make yourself do stuff with executive dysfunction is like trying to make yourself touch what looks like a hot stove. The warning lights are all on, the burner looks hot, but everyone around you can demonstrably touch it and show that it doesn’t burn them.

Like, logically, there’s clear evidence that it is not a hot stove. They can complete these tasks and do things they want to when they want to - they can’t see these warning lights that make you hesitate, that give you doubt because what if this time the stove is hot? How can you tell? There’s always that itch of panicky hesitation that makes completing a task - even one you typically enjoy - hellish in its own right.

Most of the time the stove isn’t hot and you feel guilty for ever thinking it was despite the fact that the warning lights were on. And the rare times the stove is hot? Everyone sees the lights and hot burner that you see all the time and can’t fathom why you would touch a hot stove.

Edit: I know I put this in the adhd tag but this also applies to other executive dysfunction causing conditions - autism, depression, anxiety, OCD, etc. They are of course distinct and have their own vibe of executive dysfunction, but there’s definitely room for overlap if you experience what I described but do not have adhd.

6512 notes • Posted 2021-03-09 15:23:50 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[savrenim]

Hey man, I am just wandering if I should go for another reread of ifmlam, but I wanna tell you that your writing blows my mind every single time, that your story telling keeps me captivted, that the relationship and dynamics created make me cry cause I know it won't last and that the skill with which you play with the what ifs and the world you created makes me smile. Thank you for the effort you put into you work, and please let me know if there is anything else you've done that I can read.

<3 <3 <3 <3 oh my gods this is. aaaah. thank you so much??? I am Crying.

so I still definitely am writing ifmlam -- the Hamilton film reminded me of some of the reasons that I originally fell in love with Hamilton, and even though my feelings about the setting remain Complicated, and ooof I have so many other projects that updates might be Slow, that is a thing that has definitely been spurred and is still happening. 

as for other things I’ve written/am writing which oh my gods oh my gods I cannot believe aaaah I’m so??? glad that you like stuff enough to want to read my other stuff?

--- we raise it up is my current fic that is updating most regularly, it is for The Magnus Archives and it also involves future foreknowledge as a super major plot point, bc oops “give characters knowledge of canon and see what they do with it” is apparently my favorite trope. I am usually very not into podcasts because I don’t process purely auditory things very well? (music is fine, which was why Hamilton worked, but also, I could read the lyrics.) but, uh, I read The Magnus Archives bc all of the transcripts exist online and that’s actually a pretty fun collection of interlacing short stories and worldbuilding and plot and gay! and fandom to get into and I think works just as well in a written medium as it does in an auditory one. the fic is major spoilers through season 4 and also kind of.... does assume background knowledge of seasons 1-4 to make sense, but I’m really really pleased with what I’ve written so far and what I’m planning to write I think the world background lore is maybe the hottest take I’ve ever had and I’m very much looking forward to the second half of the fic, that is kind of all about its reveal

-- the wind, the wind, the wind also known as lesbian Hadestown in space fanfic is something that I’ve been working on for oops a year and it’s finally gotten to the point where I’ve been dragged into an obsessive wanting to work on it and only it, which means that it’ll probably??? be ready for posting??? by the end of the week??? maybe two at most??? I’ll defs post a link on tumblr, but it’ll also go up on my ao3 page, which means if you temporarily subscribe to me as an author there you will not miss it. or just, like, check my ao3 page in a week or two.

-- gay murder elf bachelorette is a solo DnD campaign that a friend has been running for me as an experiment to kind of... flesh out I think a period of history in the world that they run a lot of their main campaigns in? anyways it’s been the experience of living in a novel and less like playing DnD, so I, uh, novelized three of the six arcs I’ve been in so far. they are:      -- Book 2: Of Wolves And Ravens: As Told By Three Letters Sent From Cloudfall Fort      -- Book 3: Tests of Faith (includes only one in-universe letter the rest of it is mostly dramatic storytelling, I might fix it one day but oooof so many writing projects so little time)       -- Book 4:To Stare Into Darkness: The Infestation Incident Of Black Lotus Labs, As Told By Four Letters Unsent, Three Letters Sent, And The Official Report Drafted By Acolyte Consecrate Iria Strell there are also canonical in-universe correspondences that can be found here and here that take place in between Books 3 and 4. I...may or may not write Book 5, which if I do will be Book 5: The Knives Behind Their Teeth: As Told By Consecrated Priest Iria Strell's Personal Notes On The Civilized Corpse Investigation that from the title alone you can tell was a banger (it is even MORE of a banger than the title implies. there was necromancy. there was the gay mess of THREE girlfriends all in the same town. there was Everyone Expects the Caedic Inquisition. there was dramatic truth reveals about my sketchy mentor. there was everything) but that is a balance of amount of time it takes to write these things vs Everything Else I Need To Do and I have recordings of the sessions so it’s not like I need them for memory means...??? we’ll see. the books are.... I really like them? I’m proud of my experimentation with the epistolary writing style. I think Book 4 is definitely better than Book 2 because I learned that I didn’t need to include every detail, and it’s definitely understandable to read without Book 2 if you’re willing to accept things in media res, so if you only read one I recommend that one. but they’re all pretty fun.

-- I’m also defs writing some original novels, that are eventually going to be posted for free online and I’ll probably start a tumblr that is just them but they’ll also be announced and linked to here? there’s The Numanok Files which are “bounty hunter punches ghosts in space” and will probably be coming out first, just bc it’s a series of novellas and it’s easier and less complicated to plot, and then trash novel (actually called “Opus” which has some cool in-universe meanings and is not just because this thing is my Magnum Opus, but trash novel in my heart) that is just. entirely self-indulgent written with zero intention of being good and only to be fun for me but in doing so is idk totally trashy but in some sense maybe the best thing I’ve ever written just in terms of it’s unapologetic and it does what it wants, which is what I like most in a story? but that is defs going to be several years because I want it all written before I start posting it and have I written a full conlang grammar structure and now need to write the language for my favorite fictional society in that universe? it’s more likely than you think. Numanok Files I wouldn’t be surprised if the first book is out within a year; it’s been fully outlined and partially drafted and the full drafting and editing process esp for something under 50k doesn’t really take me too long. I’m kind of transitioning from fanfic to original work just because I’m really excited about my ideas, so at this point I think ifmlam, wriu, and twtwtw are going to be the last fanfic I end up writing? but who knows.

this.... got very long but those are all of the things I’ve worked on and am working on in the immediate future, enjoy??? also gods no pressure to look into or enjoy any of them, I’m just so honored that you’ve enjoyed ifmlam to even consider checking anything else I write out

[aquacai]

compilation of bts/army tweets i retweeted but doesn’t actually appear on my profile (TWITTER WHY)

TEXT POSTS:

Namgi are actual prodigies, how did bang pd just casually pick em up like that

ARMYs give BTS amazing promo but it only works cause...

And just in case anyone doesn't know, we call K-army "diamonds" because...

namjoon: i made espresso!! jungkook: i wanna try it namjoon: u hate bitter coffee  

seokjin couldnt give less of a shit!!!!

Hoseok is Rock Lee

We have faves that are so willing to educate themselves...

I actually adore the final verses of The Last so much.

Hobi’s pseudo-triple entendres

why is this something i feel like rap line does in the studio

the funniest part of this run ep was when taehyung said...  

BTS teletubbies @ MBC Gayo 2017

every update this year

top three betrayals are bighit not releasing tony montana feat jimin...

When I first began to fully get into BTS, I had a pretty jaded view...

Dear BTS 2013, its ARMY 2018.

MY  DNA

*Yoongi's dating rumour*

this episode (run ep. 46) was so full of innuendos

fake trans on jin’s supposed feelings about the SIN separation

whoever is directing run should be reigned as the nation's hero...

What do you call a company that surpassed and outsold the big3?

bts are the definition of hyping ppl up for doing the bare minimum

an actual conversation that happened (run bts ep 46)

suran suga again and army

So I suddenly remember when Namjoon said these during Wings Tour The Final...

She was pushed by another members of staff  while doing namjoon’s makeup

I WAS IN THE SHOWER BLASTING BTS AND ONCE I GOT OUT...

to the female staff who consoled jimin and keeps saying “you didn't mess up”...  

they went from pardon to what was that

What happened at the first two episodes just made me respect Namjoon more.

on a serious note, it would be nice if when bts gets a special someone...

Next time during BTS concert, instead of screaming “encore encore”...

yall ever wanna think about how namjoon said that jimin needs lots of love and attention and thats probably why he shared a room with hoseok bc thats what exactly hoseok gives him

if I have any feeling towards BTS thats stronger than Love then it's RESPECT

the reason Jin was going on and on with his (R)evolution (E)volution (D)rop in the ocean thing might be because he was "hinting" at Youtube Red

one day, there will be a last...

namjoon came to post a selfie and left with a dating scandal

remember when hobi said “i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for bangtan”...

Namjoon admitting that he’s also “just a kid” ...

"The reason I make music is because, after all, I am also afraid of the world."

Yoongi's scalp is braver than any US marine

Sometimes we forget that Namjoon is also just trying to figure out the world.

PUMA fansign: thank you for making music that changes the world

Everyone has a musical preference & enjoy when their artists reflect that.

let me talk about taehyung and how amazing he is as a friend

i like when seokjin shares stuff about his childhood, we get to know his orijin

BTS is also  for redefining masculinity (hiphop is their way of life)

from humble beginnings to legends

burn the stage makes me realize that whenever rm post photos of nature ...

what exactly makes namjoon the sexiest for me ...

the reason seokjin’s chest and shoulders are so wide

Bighit: O! R YU DEAD, 2?

"What's your favourite song currently?"

the mask guy: u didnt bring anything to exchange so i cant help u

namjoons exchange [in the Fake Love Teaser 1] is so funny to me...  

here are some of my favourite joon interviews

"How did you join BTS?"

jin: i’ve been doing it for 4 years

I hate it when people say armys have two brain cells like bold of you to think we even have a brain (sarcasm lol)

i’m a new generation anpanman

When the Billboard news was released this morning... (wisha)

interviewer: so what are your goals?

sometimes i still think about how the fanchant of cypher pt4...

"Hoe calm down, my shoe lace is untied"

“itʼs ok, we all found bts when we needed them in our lives the most”

i’m so sorry but it’s fake love

i want to see the world from taehyung’s view

just for youuuu

i love that taehyung is never anything but proud when talking abt the fact that he’s gained weight

i bet taehyung gives the best hugs

Our bomb is like a permanent reminder...

remember when we were like omg hixtape‘s mv gonna have bomb ass choreography lmaooo

no but it's so cute bts call it family pictures and not group pictures??

there's an undeniable sexual energy between yoongi nd every trophy... 

bh staff: describe yourself in one word

jin: man, blowjobs sure are a mouthful (incorrect bts quotes)

THREADS:

I came across the Deloitte 2018 Media and Entertainment Industry Outlook

hoseok is one of the best dancers in the industry...

meaning behind whalien 52

KPOP101 LESSON 8: THE MINIMALIST ART OF THE KOREAN BALLAD

getting people flustered is hoseok culture - a thread

MY TOP 10 BTS SONGS (by KommonSense)

an explanation of rap lingo BTS use in their lyrics: a thread

I have some free time so like for an unpopular opinion. (hobybIo)

My Favorite Soft BTS Moments - A Thread! (odie)

Burn The Stage made me feel extremely vulnerable. (Aileen)

as Kings of Korean History [A thread] (KommonSense)

a thread of my favorite bts-related tumblr posts

Why and how the BTS rapline's experience with rap mirrors that of OG rappers

Everytime a BTS member was supportive of the LGBT community in any way

Namjoon (RM) Owning Up to His Mistakes

odie

Bangtan dancing styles thread

hoseok is one of the best dancers in the industry

Sky’s experience as a veteran ARMY

Jimin’s gliding technique (more threads on his dance technique)

analysis of how well DNA is structured as an EDM-pop song

I took a closer look into BTS’ intro Serendipity

Park Jimin is one of the most graceful and beautiful dancers in the industry

ok newbie kpop stans, welcome to history class (fandom shit)

An Introduction for the New, the Confused, and the Curious

BTS introduction thread

Science & literature are intrinsic to understanding how BTS and ARMY

how Singularity choreography coincides with lyrics

WHAT BTS ACTUALLY SAID - A MEGA THREAD

BTS song recommendations based on genres: a thread

rap line’s verses analysis

Mnet Comebackshow (LY:Tear) pre-recording review - THREAD -

"remember when" (BTS edition)

I'm watching a BTS music video and I don't know what the hell is going on, a thread:

LY: TEAR - MUSICAL ANALYSIS.

You know why I never will trust or listen to people who say "I left because of the fandom"

Type out what the bighit intro sounds like

Tyra Banks and her biological sons; a thread:

a thread about how BTS uses their music in their storytelling

for hot100, bts did what fans suggested

"Silly Little Trivia: Literal Choreography" thread for Fake Love

UNDERSTANDING BUniverse

BTS showing LGBT+ representation and support, a thread  (this, too)

BTS meets Western standards of “cool” established by 1960s music, particularly rock ethics

BTS’ success: human brand x fan relationship

to celebrate bts festa, here is a thread of army stan twt’s best moments

MEME PICS/VIDS:

Jimin in the Danger mv

save Cook-Jin

Hope as mom : can you even get in any college with these grades?

Namgi & their annoyingly jumpy kids

IM WHEEZING JIN DID IT AGAIN

Everything makes sense noW (spider bite, cooky bite)  

when they let you love them

When you need to wake em up

coming soon: Kim Seokjin only wanted a boyfriend

salt baes

EXPECTATION: "We aren't talking about BTS enough!

summary of run bts ep 46

i-armys and k-armys (suga’s ghost patting the clay)

Heaviest objects in the entire universe

"You will witness taehyung and jin fighting"

The battle of the year.

Hangsang with my thug

"Tangina mo," - J-Hope, 2018

choose your mineral water.

We all know... K-ARMYS & I-ARMYS

so who is giving them the candy?

I AM FUCKING DYING LAUGHING AT THEM IGNORING ALL THE KNOCKING IN THIS SCENARIO

I got bored and made ART

remember when namjoon asked for armys to edit him in because he missed the group picture with halsey

me listening to bts album skits

hoseok: hangsang with my thugs ||  his thugs:

we're finally getting the country comeback we deserve

fixed Jimin’s shots in LY:Tear

jungkook: made before i was born

this is what your food looks like inside the microwave

is this a theory?

is this an invitation?

He returned from the war

avatar Jimin

Yoongi and JK’s muffled convo

im just trying to take a nice screenshot....

ah yes, the four elements: fire, earth, water and snickers

Tyra Banks:  The BTS ARMY is devoted and crazy (in a good way!) xD

BTS [MV] - You Will Never Do a Live Alone

the nation's #1 producer & bts' hype man 

namjoon: you. me?

jungkook when he first met joon 

fierce lil meow meow

RM spinebreaker???

this looks like rap line were a group of friends who stuck together...

V was written all along in Jimin’s tweet lol

jwimin-ssi

Hangs out with Tyra Banks ONCE... 

learn the alphabet with BTS

TRANS:

When Bighit said they’ll donate 3% of LY album sales, u guys mocked us...

Kim Seokjin strange points

k-netz’ reaction on the Suga-Suran dating scandal

"Can bangtan fans please not get swayed by rumors?”

BTS trainer instagram re:B.T.S.

Music critic Kim, Youngdae nim’s MINI REVIEW on “Face Yourself”

Music critic Kim, Youngdae nim’s MINI REVIEW on “Euphoria”

bang pd and namjoon about his post supporting macklemore's song 'same love'

Konkuk uni student who became Seokjin's fan after speaking with him

I'm a multi-fan, I watch and listen to many idols, but I'm truly scared of BTS

an older woman(non-celebrity) admitted how much she loved BTS

So many warm teas in this article wrote by producer/musician Seiji Kameda

#LOVE_YOURSELF_轉_Tear Album HYYH Notes Translation Thread

180518 Love Yourself 轉 Tear - Thanks To Translations

“The lyrics in BTS’ album are so great  Huge congrats to receiving at BBMA ”

response to #1 Billboard 200

BTS 2018 Festa Member’s profiles

VIDS:

KBS Happy Together 3 - Spring Day sung in karaoke room

imagine being this close to sunshine

Ashes - Lim Jeong Hee ft. BTS (2011)

kook's carelessness brought out his sunshine laugh just like that

Remember when bts proved to armys that they are all really spiderman

that time the cameraman was filming bts and jungkook started telling him...  

i still get so soft over this the way jin hugged taehyung...

Seokjin killed it in this part in boy in luv

the sound of their footsteps is so satisfying omg

Remember when Jin and Ken met on a year end event rehearsal and they just...

Jungkook’s ‘yes’ and smile when Miri jumped through his arms...

seokjin and his interactions with camera men

Remember when Yoongi & Namjoon sang the high notes in Young Forever...

look at the difference between taekook and jinkook’s handshake lmao

this dance break has a special place in my heart :')

remember when Taehyung accidentally cut his real hair...

Nver forget that iris stevenson was the first one to believe in taehyung...

did yall notice that fdjghgd i’m shaking (run ep 46)

To remember the great SiN/YoonJin moment...

the wings era might be over but this snippet of each member’s solo songs...

Yes, Mom. This man right here. I love him. No more questions?

this is the best video of jin to ever exist

here’s jungkook having fun dancing to mama and lie

slush ft. jin

tell me why is it so funny that yoongi only opened 1/10 of his door n went back so fast

nothing but respect for my choreography leader

when jungkook opened the window well aware that it was raining

what makes you laugh? seokjin’s face

Bringing this back when taehyung was dancing nae nae...

SOMEBODY GIVE THIS BABY BLANKET AND BED...

i love this performance so fucking much!!!!

your ultimate mood booster (hobiiii)

HOLY SHIT MIN FUCKING YOONGI DID THAT

susko sobra ung bucket hats

THE WAY YOONGI AND HOSEOK SAY "RM" TOGETHER

remember when seokjin and hoseok were recognized by fans in america

jungkook imitated namjoon's finger heart and wink in a cute way

A compilation loop of Hoseok sneezing because it���s cute. Bless you!!

remember when jimin was hyping about their concert but hoseok

Hoseok left the group during Trainee days

heres 12 seconds of yoongi doing That Scream™ ...

this is what happens when you openly listen to bts without prejudice

when i say i want a rock song, i want THIS.

When Jungkook couldn’t pronounce Army bomb because of his Busan accent

U kno the thing joon does when he finds something?

reminding all of you that the special talent yoongi prepared is... imitating a doorbell

Here's a compilation of musicians getting shook by the sudden change to major in Jimin's 'Lie'

He actually blew a kiss how adorable

The fanboying level on this video is just

Hoseok doing background vocals/harmonising in Let Go (??)

...namjoon literally gets amused at the toy which blows a ball in the air...

NAMJOON DROPPED THE MIC HE WAS HOLDING AND JIN...

Lie rough instrumental

rough draft of Autumn Leaves, Young Forever, Wings (RM), Wings (JK)

Joon’s voice in the BBMA nomination teaser

Jin's reaction when I (sky) told him I brought him a present...

why BTS was nominated for BB TSA 2018

taehyung was fighting back his tears when they won TSA at 2017 BBMAs

Yoongi forgot his lines in Ma City and he just...

mannequin Tae

Bangtan ended ALL fashion weeks tonight !! (4th muster japan)

members cheering jimin up, wings tour macao

RM’s ending ment, Wings Tour the finale (Day 2?)

never forget bts' iconic reaction when they won their first daesang

When Jin was bowing, Jimin held him down and Jungkook immediately ran to sit in front of him.

jimin and seokjin debating whether dolphins could breathe underwater

look at tae's reaction when bang pd's voice broke

interviewer: what?

“DonT FiGht, Dont Fight!” :(((

RM: “we want to focus on our career”

Q: what's your favorite thing about yourself? yoongi: ᶤ ˡᶤᵏᵉ ᵖᵘᵖᵖʸ

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HOW JOON TRIED TO DO THE LIL DISNEY WAND THING WITH HIS FINGER IM HURTING

jungkook’s closeups

BTS with Ciara at the BBMAs 2018

don’t ever forget that seokjin is one hell of a snowboarder

“the reason why bts, who was not supported by big agencies, succeeded, is that they tried to read the world and to breathe [with the world] together”

this is what happens when u leave namjoon and jimin alone together

this video of seokjin being hype then instantly stops when his manager look at him will never be not funny

LMFAOOO WAIT TAEHYUNG AND NEYO WERE JAMMING TOGETHER

An exclusive interview with #BTS ! (MBC News)

i love this version of airplane pt. 2 so much (jk+jm part)  (jimin mode~) yt link full

john cena getting asked whats his favorite song off love yourself tear

The female staff who video tapes BTS bangtan bombs is amazing

WHAT THE FUCK JUNGKOOK LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE SEOKJIN...

Q: Please say something to international ARMYs

awake (short harp cover)

airplane pt. 2 dance cover

compilation of yoongi stuff in raps

wHY IS JUNGKOOK LIKE THIS

the way he said "what's your name?" and shouted "michelle!"

full vid of the two links above

#ISeoulU bts vid 2015

Tyra Bank’s music vid for Fake Love

vmin in sync is scary

fake love original choreo

jungkook said ‘mic drop!’ after he stepped on the wire and made the mic fall

tae acting in euphoria

puppy jungkook is still the most ᵘʷᵘ :(

hobi jk mirror dance with finger heart (mcountdown)

ONEW WAS THROWING CONFETTI AT TAE PLEASE THATS SO CUTE

Look how Jiminie gave the trophy to Yoongi cuz baby boy knows

tae: so show me  army: i’ll show you~  {music core)

minho and tae hugging (music core)

tae’s aegyo in board game run ep

look at taehyung acting all cute in the back

when seokjin goes like (•3•) its the cutest thing ever

wow jimin was that an accident

YOONGI REALLY IMITATED HIM IM SKFJDJ

What 시 (si; hour) is it?

SUGA: honestly, I rlly liked pro-wrestling

a fancam of taehyung spilling his water on his face

ARMY giving hobi a flower with his face on it (fansign) (180603)

BTS: *on their way to a very serious interview on one of Korea's biggest news channels*

yoonkok instant hug BV S1

sunud-sunod na aegyo in anpanman outfits

jungkook pulled off straps and threw down two straps then taejin picked them up

legends say this is the closest rep of how hoseok looks in real life

Kihyun really had the courage to throw confetti in yoongi's face tho

52 year-old man is a director of a company in Japan dancing DNA

I stan a king of fan service he's so adorable!

when taehyung was fake crying and jimin came & softly hugged him from behind

this or that game

jk imitating his hyungs (180607 fansign)

HOW UNSEE THIS IM LAUGHINF SO HARD shkhhh  (awake)

biggest mystery in kpop - who's collecting who in the background??? (taejin?)

SEOKJIN ENDED THE PERFORMANCE DOING A FINGER HEART... 180607

hopekook's modified mirror dance 180607 mcountdown

jk reacting to ariana grande bbmas 2018

Look a joonie :( look at him go :(

REMEMBER WHEN HOSEOK SAID HE WAS CLINGY WITH YOONGI (BV2)...

noona fan giving hobi and jimin “allowance”

namjoon drunk-tweeting?

carbonara

LOOK AT LIL MEOW MEOW GO (basketball)

look at jimin’s reaction when a noona gave him a finger heart

they had to throw the yellow cloth at the finish of the performance...

OTHER PICS:

tae being so accepting in star king ;w;

i may be not here since 2013, but im still lucky to witnessed yeontan's lil growth

remember when bangtan was running late for their show...

NAMJOON’S REPLY TO THE SELCA JIN POSTED OF HIM...

hobi and his hearts

ep 1& 2 of B.T.S. has at least cleared up 2 main issues in this fandom

RM has a little #WednesdayWisdom from Burn The Stage.

This photo is a complete mess.

yoongi’s kind of humor is my favorite

Their biggest dream isn’t to break records, its to stay together for a long time.

They recorded their interviews for the documentary when they did Gayo track 15

what jimin said here was really interesting and great

the most powerful twins

They decided not to blur these faces of people who's behind BTS’ success.  

BTS calls their staff with nicknames, noona or hyung...

it really went from edits to jungkook actually saying it

IM CRYING BIGHIT PAID FOR YOONGIS TUITON :((

LMFAO at none of them even touching the salad

tae’s uneven eyelids

when jin got allowance from his dad to buy steak...

LOOK AT YOONGI RUN SJDNDNDNDN

give me a better photo transition I'll wait #euphoria

love yourself 起 wonder (2018)

jin being peymous even pre-debut

THIS STILL GOTTA BE THE FUNNIEST THING JOON HAS EVER SAID

the most remarkable twins in history

a turkish tv show asked for ppl to send in pics w their siblings and someone sent in jin and jimin

taehyung’s a legend that listens to music on his laptop on the go

onigiri yoongi

MY MOTHER CAME INTO MY ROOM AND ASKED IF JIMIN IS MY BOYFRIEND

jung hoseok aka the king of mirror selcas

Tiny bestfriends vmin who have been inseparable since kindergarten AU

old bts pics I still can't believe exist: a thread

yoongi at namjoon's graduation (w/ hoseok)

I COMBINED TAEGI'S PICS TOGETHER AND OH MY GOD SJSB

"i put sticker on my carrier" yeah ryt

oh nothing just seokjin casually putting his LG G7 ThinQ at his jacket pocket

He show his flower uwu

taehyung accidentally becoming a meme on diplo's snapchat

Never forget Jungkook's Hongdae adventures

THANKS JIN for not killing jungkook

liam’s post of namjoon :D

that one time namjoon tweeted a picture of them with the caption of “we are all fools”

A 59-year-old friend of mine talking about Love Yourself:Tear

I was worried because I thought yoongi kept doing some kind of gang sign but--

This has to be the best reaction to a non-fan of BTS...

when you are sitting beside BTS but mcflurry ice cream is life

why is this exactly what all of their mixtapes sound like

dispatch - yoongi, fake love

taehyung’s chubby cheeks when he smiles

taehyung and his tea

OMFGGMFM LOOK AT Tyra Banks when boys went up for their award she’s a whole Mood I love her

BTS FESTA 2018 prediction

carry him again, jin

I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA CLOWN HIM

top10 mistranslations betrayal 

Yoongi doing ᵗʰᵃᵗ smile

wide open yoongi

brigada eskwela stairs album art

jin flower petals (fansign)

namjoon vs svt jihoon

yoongi continuing his lil meow meow agenda

These two cuties just melted my whole heart (tae and tanie)

So... are we gonna talk about how they drew one stickman thicker than the rest

Low key promoted BTS the past 3 weeks in our hospital...

The exact same cat, same plant & same island taken 1 year apart. (ARMYSelca)

yoongi bunched up(?)

[lizzexx]

Coming Back

I know a few of you have seen my surprise post of one of Evy’s episode covers. I honestly didn’t know how to post that I am coming back online. I didn’t know what the response would be, if it would be negative or angry, which I would fully deserve given how I left you all. So I wanted to test the waters and the response I got just from that was overwhelming and gave me the courage to swallow my shame at how I went so silent and write to you all about why it happened.

This is going to be a long note, be prepared: 

A lot’s happened since the last time I posted and I’m sorry it’s been so long. I really cannot apologize enough for pretty much dropping off the face of the earth :( I am deeply sorry if I scared anyone or worried you all. A lot of little things had sort of mashed together all at once and it got too overwhelming to keep updating and posting. I was having a lot of trouble finding balance in my life outside of fanfiction and I needed time to really reevaluate and reassess some choices and things I was doing to get to a better place.

It’s no excuse for not at least giving you fair warning, I know. I honestly felt I had to stay away from tumblr and the internet in general for a long time because I knew that if I went on and saw even one person’s concern or hopes that I’d come back soon, I’d end up coming back and trying to post before I was ready. I knew that I’d force myself to keep going and it would just burn me out faster and make it that much harder to get back in after. I was afraid I’d start to feel like I was only doing fanfiction for other people and not because it was a story I loved and wanted to get out there, that it was a passion I had. I didn’t want that to fizzle out or get crushed under a possible resentment. Because I love fanfiction and I love my readers and I would never want that to happen. I always feel like I’m disappointing people if I can’t continue the way I was, even if I realistically and logically know that things happen and come up beyond our control and most would rather me be healthy and well and posting sporadically instead of pushing myself to update every single day. I knew that I’d push myself to get right back on the way I was going even though I was aware it wasn’t working and was starting to really affect my real life :(

I’m not 100% ready to get back to posting fanfiction, to be honest, right now things are almost twice as stressful as when I stopped coming on tumblr/fanfiction.net. 

When I went silent, my job was just entering summer and I was not at all prepared for how busy and exhausting that would be, on top of that also being me working towards my Master’s. 

It didn’t get better or calmer. Managers, instead of returning us to normal, sane hours, began to put almost everyone on longer shifts and more days a week than we signed up for to compensate for a few of my coworkers leaving. 

By the time more people were hired, it was the holiday season and I was praying for a swift death (not literally, but working retail during those months is a nightmare that sucks your soul out of you). 

I got to a point where I really thought things were calming down. The holidays passed, I’d gotten my Masters, I was looking for a calmer, more structured job...and our Manager quit. 

I got promoted, which was nice. I get benefits now, I make $.75 more an hour which is something. But that meant full time hours. Where I work, we have a manager and then three leads, sort of like assistant managers. 

Our manager quit, so it fell to me and two others to basically manage everything ourselves. Then one of the other leads transferred to another store. Now it is just me and one other person responsible for EVERYTHING. On top of that, neither of us were formally trained, because our manager quit before we were promoted to leads. We basically have no idea what we’re doing and we’ve been without a manager for 5 months now (when other stores got one within a week of their manager leaving).

I got a second job. I’m now a professor! (Proffy would be so proud!) I only teach two classes as an adjunct, but it means a lot more stress and less time than I had just being a lead, which I still am. 

My brother got married and a lot of the stress I felt was in the engagement period, because they were just miserable together, nearly called it off 3 different times, and just made the entire family tired and sick to our stomachs for months on end. He didn’t even make it 5 months before filing for a divorce. HE was a MAJOR cause of a lot of my stress the last year. He and his “wife” causing drama around each turn and it’s exhausting after a while.

My brother, when he’s miserable, is mean and loud and just upsetting to be around and, because I’m the quiet one, I’m the one he would usually lash out against. I’m in therapy now because of how he acts towards me and our family, in therapy for dealing with social anxiety which got worse over the last year, and with trying to work on things that cause me fear and are out of my control, as well as trying to work on self-esteem issues and sorting through how my family, in how they act/talk/treat me, has likely messed me up a little more than I thought. It was a very overwhelming year.

And, of course, right around the time my brother and his now-ex-wife “separated,” it was summer again at my work and even more stressful and busy and exhausting :(

I’m not posting this to excuse going silent on all of you. It was not a good thing to do and I should have posted at least a note about it. 

I honestly didn’t think it would last this long. I kept thinking “It’s ok, I’ll feel better and more driven tomorrow” and before I knew it, a week had gone by, then a month, and now here we are :( I really am so sorry it’s taken me this long.

Another big part of it was that, to me, I write and edit and post fanfiction when I’m not feeling happy. I do it to make myself happy, to have that one thing that makes me smile and gives me something to look forward to.

At the beginning of my job, once my social anxiety simmered down and I got to know my coworkers and engage with them more, I loved being there. I was happy. I liked going to work and that became my thing that I looked forward to. My need to be on fanfiction constantly started to go down a little. I still had a lot of my stories prewritten, but the drive to actually edit as much as I want to and to really keep going started to dwindle. 

The stress is back. Without a manager and so much of that sort of duty falling onto just me and one person, I am beyond stressed. I’m not very happy at work right now. It seems like every week another person is leaving, which makes us understaffed and more stressed. Anyone we hire new can’t be fully or effectively trained without a manager and with only 2 leads who struggle to make sure the actual seasoned employees aren’t messing up now that there’s no one there to enforce consequences. Now I’m looking to fanfiction again to help get my mind off things and really make it that thing that calms me down and distracts me. It’s probably not a good thing that I have to feel stressed and upset and anxious and a mess of other negative emotions to really feel that kick to write, but that just seems to be how it works with me :/

Again, I’m not posting this as an excuse, there is no excuse for going silent like that. I just wanted to catch everyone up on what’s been going on with me and why it took me a while to get back to it all.

GOING FORWARD

It may still be a while, whether that’s a few weeks or even a month or two, before you’ll see the actual stories being updated again. 

As I mentioned before, I’m teaching two classes on top of another full-time job and one of those classes is an intensive 7-week course that starts in about a week. So, at the very least, don’t expect fanfiction to resume till that point is over. I have a feeling that class will kill me before then lol.

It’s going to take me a little while to get into a pattern and routine, to work out how much time grading papers will take and how to balance it with my fulltime job. It’s going to take me some time to refresh my stories and make sure I’m not getting one plot or character confused with another. And it will take time for me to understand how much I can handle doing in a certain day or week and couple that with writing and editing again.

I’m going to start small. 

First I’m going to focus on tumblr and sorting through my inbox. I want to try and answer at least a few messages a day until my inbox is empty again. So that may take...quite a while now that I look at the box lol. 

Then I’m going to really look at my stories, how much I have left of the ones currently in progress, how much time it would take to complete which ones, and try to work out some sort of updating schedule and let you all know what’s coming.

I’ll be more present on tumblr now, but it may still be a while before the stories on fanfiction.net are updated. 

The more unhappy I am, the more ideas I have for stories (seriously, just this morning I had an idea for a Flash story, and I haven’t really followed it much) and I’m really trying to not get too ahead of myself.

I didn’t want to come back before I was sure I could deliver. So I’m not going to make promises I’m not sure I can keep.

I know that I WILL be updating stories again, but I can’t promise a specific date. I know that I WILL be on tumblr more and answering questions (oldest to newest), that I can promise.

It may be slow going, but I’ll get there. I just have to work on managing my time and building myself up again. I don’t want to use all my spare time writing fanfiction, end up editing stories at 3 in the morning, and getting 3 hours of sleep before two jobs. I did that in the past, it’s not good for me. I need to find a way to pull a Tim Gunn and make it all work ;)

I wanted to take a second to thank you all for being so patient and understanding. I know I went silent and it was not cool at all, and I’ve only just glimpsed my inbox and seen the overwhelming number of asks throughout the year, even up to a few days ago, asking if I was ok and hoping things were ok on my end. You have no idea what that means to me. To have been gone so long and still have people checking in over a year later, guys, I almost started to cry. 

When I started writing, I never thought that anyone would like it. I would have been content if just one person thought a story was ok. To look at it now and see that my work has had such an impact as to elicit concern like that after over a year of silence? I have never been more touched and humbled. 

I love all of you so much and I really am so sorry for not being around more. I’m working my way back up and, little by little, I know I’ll get back to posting the stories again. 

You’ve stuck with me this long, just hold out a little longer and I’ll do my best to deliver some good twists, new perspectives, and (hopefully) awesome OCs :’)

To end on another positive note...another reason I’ve been offline is...

I’m working on converting one of my OCs (a Doctor Who one) and their story into an original novel/series and it’s taken a lot of my concentration the last few months. So, who knows, maybe we’ll see something of that one day too.

Thank you all again for being so patient with me and so concerned. I’m back on tumblr for now and I’m hoping to get back on fanfiction soon too :’)