#edit: i just remembered that reader is not a race
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fandomfablesunleashed · 19 hours ago
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Tangled lives: Chapter Eleven
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Law x reader (she/her)
Chapter eleven of Tangled lives
Words (for this chapter): 2.4k
Notes: Here we are! Sorry for the delay from my usual two-week schedule. I’ve been super busy and mentally drained, and then I started having doubts about this story. I was contemplating rewriting parts of it because I feel like I'm making Law too much of an ass. But in the end, I decided to stick with what I already have, since the whole story is written. Though it’s just a first draft, so each chapter needs some intense editing which takes time. Also, I’m a bit chaotic and can’t focus on just one thing, or I’d burn out and drop it completely. So this has to share time with my other stories 🫠
That being said, once again, sorry for the delay... and sorry in advance for what you’re about to read 😅
🫶 @chillerkiller @deputy-azor, @henritherogue, @theprincesss5, @hopelesslover06 @forest-haven @milktearose @moonj-fool @miruto1 @wanoisland @cruziival72🫶
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The next morning, you woke up to the muted light filtering through the blinds, the world outside still moving on as if nothing had happened. But everything had changed. As though something inside you had finally unclenched after being wound tight for far too long. 
You hadn’t expected this. Not really. You were hopeful, but it still took you by surprise—a breathtaking, beautiful surprise. Even now, you could still feel the traces of his hands on your skin, his body pressed against yours in a way that had been both desperate and yet so full of… love?
Real and raw and terrifying. He hadn't said it outright, but he didn't need to. His body had spoken in a language more honest than anything he'd ever managed before.
Your mind refused to let go of the night before, replaying every stolen breath, every whispered confession, and every moment when Law stopped running. From you. From the tangled mess of all those feelings.
You remembered how, just before sleep claimed you, he pressed a featherlight kiss to your forehead. You’d smiled, drowsy and content, and when your heavy eyelids lifted for just a second, you caught the way he looked at you—soft, reverent, as if you were precious.
You had him now. Really had him. No more chasing after shadows. No more waiting for him to turn back around. Finally. And for the first time, it felt like everything was going to be okay. You didn’t have to keep fighting, didn’t have to keep waiting.
But when you opened your eyes, reality came rushing back with a sharp sting. Where is he?
For a split second, your heart raced—not in the sweet, fluttering way it had the night before, but in the cold, hollow panic of absence. You reached out instinctively, hand searching for him in the crumpled sheets, eager to feel the curve of his shoulder, the muscular chest, or any part of him for that matter.
You wished he were still there, his arms wrapped around you, his steady breath mingling with yours, the warmth of his skin a comforting presence against yours. But the space beside you was empty.
Maybe he had just stepped out. Maybe he was in the kitchen, pouring coffee into that mug of yours he always said was ridiculous. That had to be it—no need to jump to conclusions.
You pushed yourself to your feet, the movement stiff, as if your body wasn’t quite ready to leave the cocoon of intimacy you had shared. 
The apartment was eerily quiet. Too quiet. Law was nowhere in sight, and you wondered if he had just disappeared. Maybe he changed his mind and is now afraid to face you. Maybe all of it—the kiss, the words, the tenderness you had shared—had been too much for him. Maybe now he was regretting it, retreating into the walls he had built around himself, afraid to face what he had let slip through.
Heart pounding, you moved toward the kitchen, hoping—praying—to find him there, waiting. 
He wasn’t there. 
Instead, an array of ingredients sat on the kitchen counter besides two plates. Your favorite dish—half-prepared. The sight of it sent a fresh wave of confusion crashing over you. Law never left things unfinished. It was not like him. 
A hundred thoughts collided all at once, none of them sticking long enough to calm you. You wondered and came to the conclusion that he must have realized that something was missing and quickly went to the shop to get it. He’d always noticed little things. Maybe he just wanted to surprise you. That would make sense. That would explain his absence.
He must’ve just gone out for a little while. That had to be it.
But then you heard a quiet movement. Your breath caught in your throat as your head snapped toward the sound, every muscle in your body tense with anticipation. Law’s door creaked open. 
It seemed that he was coming back, perhaps everything wasn’t lost, but the seconds stretched on, and when he didn’t appear, a knot of unease tightened in your stomach. Instead, there was only the soft shuffle of footsteps coming from the living room.
 You quickly followed.
As soon as you stepped into the living room, you saw him leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, his posture stiff, his face tense. He hadn’t said a word yet, but the look in his eyes was enough to set every nerve in your body on edge. That and the opened bag filled with his things.
Law was the first to break the silence. “We need to talk.”
You nodded slowly, a tight knot forming in your chest. Of course, you did. The last night had been too much to leave unresolved. Too much to ignore. And that damn bag wasn’t helping.
“About last night,” he started, but the words seemed to hang between you both. His jaw tightened, as if he were still wrestling with something inside. He stared intently at the wall. “It shouldn’t have happened”.
Your heart throbbed, a cruel sting slicing through the warmth you had woken up with. Every part of you screamed to stay calm, to tread carefully. But you couldn’t.
“You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to push me away after everything that’s happened. I’m not something you can just use and discard because you’re too scared to admit what you fucking feel!”
“I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m trying to protect you,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. He still wasn’t even looking at you.
You marched forward, your pulse quickening with frustration, your chest heaving. “Stop with that shit. I’m tired of you deciding what I deserve! I’m tired of you pretending this doesn’t matter.”
The air between you shifted, charged, seconds from shattering. Then, in a heartbeat, the tension snapped. He shoved off the doorframe, closing the distance in two quick strides.
“It matters too much, damn it! That’s the fucking problem.”
You instinctively stepped back, thrown by the force of his words, by the fire burning behind them. If it mattered, then why was he running? Why was he doing this?
You barely registered him walking away, the space between you growing colder with each passing second. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, a silent battle raging beneath his skin as he struggled to rein in his emotions. Or maybe—just maybe—you were grasping at hope, desperate to believe there was more to this. That he didn't want to completely break you apart.
“So what now?” you asked, your voice low, heavy with a bitterness that tasted sour on your tongue. “We just keep pretending like nothing happened?”
Law looked at you, and for a second, just a split second, there was a glimpse of something real in his eyes. Perhaps it was guilt. Possibly, it was regret. Maybe it was something way worse. Something darker than you were ready to deal with.
But whatever it was, it was short-lived.
“I’m moving out.”
Your heart sank. “Why?” The question came out softer than you intended, raw with emotion. “Why are you doing this?”
There was a pause. A hesitation. A crack in his resolve.
“You’ll be better off without me,” he finally said, his voice flat detached, as if he were reciting a fact rather than ripping your world apart.
You stared at him, your chest tightening under the weight of his words. And then something inside you snapped. Perhaps it was the quiet devastation in his tone, or more likely it was the anger surging through you like wildfire, refusing to be contained. But whatever it was, it was too much.
Anger flared inside you, hot and unrelenting. “You’re such an idiot!”
This time, you saw it—the slightest change in his expression. A flinch, so brief it was almost imperceptible. But then, just as quickly, his face smoothed back into that unreadable mask, shutting you out all over again.
He moved like a machine, methodical and distant, stuffing his bag as if he could pack away the last remnants of what you were. Books vanished from the coffee table. His hoodie disappeared from the sofa. He shrugged into his jacket with a finality that made your stomach twist.
It wasn’t just his things he was taking—it was everything. Every moment, every whisper of warmth, every trace of a life that had once included you. And you could do nothing but stand there, watching as he dismantled what was left of anything you had built together.
“You think you can just walk away from this? Pretend like last night didn’t change everything?”
Law exhaled sharply, as if steadying himself before he spoke. “I never asked for this… I never wanted for things to get complicated.”
You weren’t sure what you expected, but it wasn’t that. A part of you had braced for an argument, a fight—anything but this. It was too cold. Too detached. 
“You never asked?” You laughed, but there was no humor in it. “You kissed me. You fucked me. And now you want to pretend like it was nothing?”
Silence. Only the ghost of a pained expression dancing across his face.
Your pulse pounded in your ears. Hands clenched at your sides, you struggled to keep your voice steady. “What the hell?” The bitterness cracked through, raw and unfiltered.“I’m standing here, trying to make sense of this, and you're just… shutting me out.”
“I should’ve moved out the second this turned into more.” His gaze was heavy, but he took a step back, as if the extra space could make this easier. “I should’ve stopped it before it got here. I should’ve left—before it wasn’t just about sharing space anymore.”
“So that’s it? You’re just going to walk away? Pretend none of this mattered? That it wasn’t real?”
He didn’t answer right away. His eyes stayed locked on the floor, his jaw working as if he was holding back something else—something more, something deeper than he was willing to admit.
And then, at last, he looked up.
There it was. The emotion he'd been fighting so hard to bury. Regret? Desperation? You didn’t know.
But instead of words, all he gave you was silence. His fingers tightened around the strap of his bag, his gaze wavering away as he zipped it shut.
And somehow, that hurt more than anything he could have said.
“Stop being so fucking stubborn!” Your voice broke under the weight of your frustration. “You think this is what’s best? Running away?” 
The pain in your chest felt unbearable. How could he do this? How could he throw everything away so easily?
For a second, just a second, his hands faltered as he reached for his bag. But he recovered quickly, shaking his head. “This should have been done a long time ago.”
Tears blurred your vision as his words drove another dagger into your heart. You bit your lip, fighting against the sob building in your throat.
He stiffened.
“You’ll get over me.”
Your stomach twisted. Rage, heartbreak, disbelief—they all tangled together until you couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Just stop running away! Stop being so damn stubborn and say something real for once, you idiot!” 
Your words were sincere, desperate—a plea for him to just stop, to acknowledge what you both felt.
Coldly, he replied, “Say what, exactly?”
 “Say you’re not leaving! Say you love me back!” 
The words burst out of you, your voice cracking as tears streamed freely down your cheeks. You clenched your fists, your teeth, every part of you, as if bracing for the pain of his response. “Say you’ll stop running away from your feelings!”
Silence.
He didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Didn’t even look at you.
Your voice rose again, breaking under the strain of your emotions, the sobs you couldn’t suppress anymore. “Why are you running away? Why can’t you just tell me you love me, you idiot?! Stop giving excuses about what’s ‘for my own good’! Stop being a stubborn ass and let yourself be loved! Or just fucking tell me what the true problem is!”
Still, he remained silent, his expression locked in that same unreadable mask. But the conflict in his eyes told a different story.
He reached for his bags. The movement was slow, as if each action weighed heavily on him.
“You really have nothing to say?” Your voice was barely a whisper now.
Nothing.
Your chest ached. Your hands trembled.
“You’re such a coward,” you said, the final blow landing between you like a crack of thunder.
His shoulders tensed—a subtle shift, but you noticed it. You always noticed the small things about him—how his jaw clenched when he was lying, how he avoided eye contact when he was hurting. And right now, everything about him screamed that he was set on leaving.
You stood across from him, arms crossed, as a way to hold yourself together. You knew what you should do. You should throw the door wide open, shove him out with all his baggage—emotional too—and every excuse. Keep your pride intact. Your mind understood that. It knew you deserved more than this. Better than him.
But your heart was a fool. A fragile, trembling thing that hadn’t yet learned to stop caring. It was desperate not to feel pain.
“Don’t leave me. Please.”
You hated yourself for begging. For letting him see you unravel. You hated not feeling like you’re able to handle another person leaving. You would much rather have him as a ghost than to lose him completely. 
For a moment, you thought he might change his mind. That your desperation touched him, that he might finally say what he truly felt and what the true issue was.
Instead, his voice came cold—a shield against the war raging inside him. “It’s for the best. You’ll get over me.” He paused, the smallest sign of doubt betraying him. Then, so softly, you almost missed it—
“I’m so fucking sorry.”
A fleeting, pained look.
Then, without another word, he turned and walked toward the door. And out of your life.
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abyssyby · 4 months ago
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beating, not still
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— sylus slips into bed with you in the middle of his day to calm the specter that haunts you
ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ: sy’s chest has been thru the wringer so i wanted to show it some love. accidentally made myself sad writing this. something quick & cute, i’ll edit punctuation & caps in the morning hehe. enjoy! ❀-urs
sylus x reader | angst, fluff, mentions of killing, hurt/comfort, softsyloo
“you like that spot.” sylus murmurs, voice like caving ground and a simmering fire. his large hand comes up to brush your hair out of your face. warm like a furnace. through the curtain, you meet his sleepy gaze.
your lips press against his bare chest, just the tiniest tilt to the right of his sternum. he smells of clean soap, spice and something inherently him— crisp and familiar. the brush of your lips on his skin as you speak makes him shiver, ripples of sensation shooting through his nerves like fire. “good morning.”
“beloved,” he purrs, hauling you up by your shoulders to meet your lips in a tender kiss. “did you sleep well?”
you nod out of instinct. but you were awake in the middle of the night for a reason. he slipped in for a midday nap with you because of something you’d been doing in your sleep.
“are you sure?” he whispers, more sympathetically as he trails his thumb down the line of salt your tears left behind. he kisses your forehead tenderly, “Tell me.”
you turn away, crawling back down to his chest and planting your chin there as a silent protest. “i dont remember.”
he considers you— if you were being stubborn or secretive or brave yet again. but with the way you were trailing your fingers down the middle of his chest, how your ear is so meticulously close to his heart, listening for a thrumming heartbeat that was present and not still— he had a feeling he knew what it was.
“angel.” he implores you, large hand coming to rest on the top of your head. “i’m here.”
your chest tightens. a vacuum pulling every bone inwards until they shatter and crash into the cavity. and you are helplessly trying to ground yourself, match your breathing with the constant badump badump badump of his heart.
“i know.” you squeeze the words out, holding your breath when you do. controlling the amount you let out lest you let loose everything. “i know, sylus.”
“no, look at me.” his finger tilts your chin up from the spot. the spot he cherishes and the spot you despise. the spot you favor. the spot he kept protected until you. the spot where you pointed the gun, and where he pulled the trigger with your finger. the spot you hear his racing heartbeat. the spot you dug your sword into, and killed him the first time. once, a long time ago, relived in a dream.
he sees you. he sees every part of you in the darkness of your bedroom— and still you shine brighter than if all the stars in the sky were to combust. he holds your gaze, because let him keel over and die again and again instead of see you in this pain. “come back to me.”
something inside you stirs— not quite pain, but something deeper, more primal and abstract. your soul, like it was beckoned to heel. to be still as another wraps itself around it. to hold on to its other half that submits itself and never let go.
“i’m a monster.” you finally confess, shattering like glass, all too conscious of staining his palms red. of hurting him. of being foolish enough to take him away from you again.
his lips press into the skin above your brow— his favorite spot. his teeth graze it as he murmurs, “that’s not true.”
“sylus—“ you begin to argue, but he silences you with a kiss. you blink, but don’t let it deter you. “i hurt you.”
“have i ever complained?”
“dont do that.” because how could he not care? how could he look at you with such a loving gaze you do not deserve? how could he forgive you as easily as breathing?
he frowns and then studies your face. “you’re right. you have hurt me.”
and somehow that is worse. of course it is worse. your bottom lip trembles. his thumb comes to rest on the delicate flesh lightly. “my soul hurts with you. when you are in pain, so am I.”
his fingers dance down your spine and hook beneath one thigh. there, he pulls you up to his eye-line. your head rests on his bicep as he presses his forehead against yours. “so listen to me when I say you are the furthest thing from who you are in your nightmares.
“and if you are a monster, then so am I.” he rasps.
his heart races under your palm, his own hand spreading your fingers over his chest. “you’ve never hurt me alone. i’ve always been there to do it with you.”
“If you couldn’t heal—“ you start.
“Then I would have broken all my bones crawling back to you.” he vows.
“If you died—“
“I would have found you in the next life. And the next, and the next.”
“If you felt I hated you.” you hiccup, unable to hold back the tears. the thought of him believing for one second you felt anything but love for him devastated you beyond belief. His eyes fill with warmth as he lowers his tone.
“Then I would have done everything to remind you how much I love you.” He says steadily. “Don’t mourn over who we were, my heart.”
“We are here.” he says, kissing the tip of your nose. floating his lips over the lids of your eyes. “Come back to me and stay.”
ever patient, ever gentle and kind to you. he keeps you in his embrace until you calm, feathering the tip of his nose lightly up and down your cheek as he kisses each of your fingers.
you listen to his heart; to his steady breathing, swaying and cradling you like the push and pull of the tide. you listen to his words, turn them over and around in your head— once, twice, thrice— until they sink deep, deep in your heart. this truth settling like oil in your liquid thoughts.
he watches as you calm. and you melt back down his chest— to the spot where he found you.
“beloved?”
you kiss him there— over the invisible mark of the bullet and the sword and your hatred. what once was his undoing, but has always been his strength. the hand that killed him now holds him tightly, tenderly. lovingly and achingly so.
this is your promise to him— to undo all that was done.
to return. to love. to stay.
his face is almost feverish when you cradle it. his content smirk a charming twitch beneath your thumb as his eyes close at your touch.
your cheek to his chest, iron to a magnet— natural, inevitable. finally, you smile— small, but sincere. enough for him. “i like this spot.”
𓇢𓆸 𓇢𓆸 𓇢𓆸 ࿐ ࿔*:・゚
⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ more sylus thoughts ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆
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archivegyu · 23 days ago
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masterlist
The Art of Being a Girl Dad
dad! seungcheol x reader ll 5k words
The morning sun filtered through the sheer curtains of the Choi family’s living room, casting dancing shadows across the hardwood floor where an unlikely wrestling match was taking place. Kkuma, Seungcheol’s beloved white coton de tulear, had somehow found herself pinned beneath a giggling five-year-old who was attempting to braid the poor dog’s fluffy ears.
“Kkuma-ya, stay still! You’re going to be the prettiest princess dog in all of Seoul!” Naeun declared with the kind of unwavering confidence that only children possessed. Her small fingers fumbled with tiny pink hair ties as Kkuma’s tail wagged frantically, clearly torn between escape and enjoying the attention.
Seungcheol paused in the kitchen doorway, a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and his phone in the other, watching his daughter’s latest creative endeavor with barely contained laughter. His hair was still messy from sleep, sticking up at odd angles that somehow made him look younger than his years. The sight of his two favorite girls bonding over questionable grooming choices filled his chest with a warmth that had nothing to do with the coffee.
“Naeunie,” he called softly, padding over in his slippers. “What are you doing to poor Kkuma?”
“Appa!” Naeun looked up with bright eyes that were carbon copies of his own. “I’m making her beautiful for the tea party! Mama said you have to come too because Uncle Gyu is bringing cake!”
Seungcheol’s eyebrows shot up. “Uncle Mingyu is coming? When did this happen?”
“This morning! Mama was on the phone and she was laughing really loud and then she said yes to cake!” Naeun had returned to her mission of transforming Kkuma into what appeared to be a four-legged fairy tale character. “She said you were grumpy about getting up early but Uncle Gyu said he’d bring the really good cake from that place with the fancy name you can’t say right.”
“Patisserie Laurent,” Seungcheol muttered, already knowing exactly which place Mingyu meant. Trust his member to remember his weakness for their mille-feuille. “And I wasn’t grumpy, I was tired. There’s a difference.”
“You made that face,” Naeun said matter-of-factly, scrunching up her features in an exaggerated frown that was disturbingly accurate. “The one where your eyebrows touch and Mama laughs.”
Before Seungcheol could defend his morning expressions, the sound of his wife’s laughter drifted from the kitchen, followed by what sounded suspiciously like multiple voices on speakerphone. He recognized the chaos immediately – Seventeen’s group chat had gone live.
“Is that the whole circus?” he asked, settling down on the floor beside Naeun and gently rescuing Kkuma from her latest hair accessory.
“Jeonghan is being mean to Seokmin again,” his wife called from the kitchen, amusement clear in her voice. “Something about stealing his face mask.”
“It was a limited edition!” came Seokmin’s distant, indignant voice through the phone speaker.
Seungcheol shook his head, simultaneously exasperated and fond. Five years of marriage and fatherhood had done nothing to mature his bandmates. If anything, having Naeun around had made them more chaotic, each trying to claim the title of ‘favorite uncle’ through increasingly ridiculous means.
“Appa, can we call Uncle Hannie too? I want to show him Kkuma’s new look,” Naeun said, having successfully managed to get one small bow attached to the dog’s ear. Kkuma looked resigned to her fate.
“Let’s wait until after your tea party, okay? Uncle Mingyu will be here soon and you know how he gets when he’s not the center of attention.”
As if summoned by the mention of his name, the doorbell rang with the specific pattern that could only belong to Kim Mingyu – unnecessarily long and dramatic. Naeun shrieked with excitement and abandoned Kkuma entirely, racing toward the front door with the kind of speed that made Seungcheol wonder if she had inherited more than just his eyes.
“Uncle Gyu! Uncle Gyu!” Naeun’s voice echoed through the hallway.
Seungcheol followed at a more reasonable pace, already smiling at what he knew he’d find. Sure enough, Mingyu was crouched at Naeun’s level, having somehow produced not just the promised cake box but also a small bouquet of daisies and what appeared to be a toy crown.
“Princess Naeun!” Mingyu announced dramatically, placing the crown on her head with ceremonial precision. “Your royal tea party awaits!”
“Did you really bring a crown?” Seungcheol asked, accepting the familiar one-armed hug that Mingyu offered while juggling his various gifts.
“Hyung, I don’t do anything halfway. You know this.” Mingyu’s grin was shameless. “Plus, I may have had help from a certain someone who shall remain nameless but definitely knows a lot about princess accessories.”
“Uncle Wonwoo helped!” Naeun announced, completely ruining Mingyu’s attempt at mystery. “He said princesses need proper headwear for important occasions!”
Seungcheol’s wife appeared from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel and shaking her head with fond exasperation. “Wonwoo called ahead to make sure Mingyu brought age-appropriate entertainment. Apparently, last time’s magic tricks were ‘too easy for the target demographic.’”
“They were great magic tricks,” Mingyu protested. “It’s not my fault Naeun figured out where I was hiding the cards.”
“You left them on the kitchen counter in plain sight,” Seungcheol pointed out.
“Details,” Mingyu waved him off, then turned his attention back to Naeun. “So, Princess, what’s on the agenda for today’s royal gathering?”
What followed was an elaborate explanation of the tea party requirements, including but not limited to: proper seating arrangements for all attendees (including Kkuma, who was apparently the royal pet), specific tea flavors (apple juice was acceptable as a substitute), and a very serious discussion about cake cutting protocol.
Seungcheol watched his daughter command the attention of a grown man who regularly performed in front of thousands, completely unaware of how naturally she held court. There was something magical about the way children could make adults remember how to play, how to find joy in the smallest things.
“She’s got your leadership skills,” his wife murmured, settling beside him on the couch as Mingyu and Naeun began arranging the living room for optimal tea party conditions.
“And your ability to wrap people around her finger,” he replied, pressing a kiss to her temple.
The actual tea party was a masterpiece of organized chaos. Naeun had assigned seats with the precision of a military strategist: herself at the head of the coffee table (which had been draped with her favorite blanket to serve as a proper tablecloth), Mingyu to her right as the guest of honor, her parents flanking the other sides, and Kkuma positioned on a small cushion with her own tiny tea cup.
“Now,” Naeun began, having insisted on wearing her fanciest dress for the occasion, “everyone has to hold their cups like this.” She demonstrated with her small hands positioned just so on her plastic teacup, pinky extended in what she clearly believed was the height of sophistication.
Mingyu, without a trace of self-consciousness, mirrored her posture exactly, even going so far as to straighten his imaginary tie. “Like this, Princess?”
“Perfect! Appa, your pinky isn’t high enough.”
Seungcheol adjusted his grip on his mug with exaggerated precision, earning an approving nod from his daughter. His wife was barely containing her laughter behind her own cup.
“Okay, now we have to toast,” Naeun continued. “Mama taught me. We say something nice and then we clink.”
“What should we toast to?” Mingyu asked seriously.
Naeun considered this with the gravity of a diplomat. “To… to Kkuma being the prettiest princess dog, and to Uncle Gyu bringing the best cake, and to Mama’s apple juice that tastes like tea, and to Appa for making funny faces when he drinks it.”
“I don’t make funny faces,” Seungcheol protested weakly.
“You do,” his wife and Mingyu said in unison, causing Naeun to dissolve into giggles.
They clinked their mismatched cups together, and Seungcheol felt that familiar tightness in his chest that came with these perfect, ordinary moments. This was what he’d been missing all those years on the road – not just the big milestones, but the silly Tuesday morning tea parties and the sound of his daughter’s laughter mixing with his wife’s.
The cake, as promised, was exceptional. Mingyu had somehow convinced the patisserie to create a miniature version of their famous mille-feuille decorated with edible flowers. Naeun insisted on cutting it herself, resulting in uneven slices that she distributed with the solemnity of a judge.
“Uncle Gyu gets the biggest piece because he brought it,” she announced, “but Appa gets the piece with the most flowers because he’s the best appa in the world.”
Seungcheol felt his throat tighten unexpectedly. “Thank you, baby.”
“And Mama gets the prettiest piece because she’s the prettiest mama.”
The conversation flowed easily from there, jumping from topic to topic the way it did when Naeun was involved. She told Mingyu about her new favorite book (something involving a dragon who was afraid of its own fire), demonstrated her latest dance moves (a combination of ballet and what appeared to be taekwondo), and explained in great detail why purple was clearly superior to all other colors.
Mingyu listened to every word with the kind of attention usually reserved for important business meetings, asking follow-up questions and offering commentary that made Naeun beam with importance. Watching them together, Seungcheol was reminded of why he’d fallen in love with this chaotic group of men in the first place – their capacity for genuine care, for making others feel seen and valued.
“Uncle Gyu,” Naeun said suddenly, having finished her cake, “are you sad that you don’t have a little girl like me?”
The question caught everyone off guard. Mingyu’s expression softened, and he reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind Naeun’s ear. “You know what? I’m not sad, because I get to be your uncle. That means I get all the fun parts – tea parties and cake and hearing about dragons – but I also get to spoil you and then send you home to your appa and mama when you’re too full of sugar.”
“That’s sneaky,” Naeun observed approvingly.
“I learned from the best,” Mingyu glanced at Seungcheol with a grin. “Your appa taught me everything I know about being sneaky.”
“I did not—” Seungcheol started to protest, then caught his wife’s knowing look and decided discretion was the better part of valor. “Okay, maybe I taught him a few things.”
The doorbell rang again, interrupting what was surely going to be an embarrassing trip down memory lane. This time, the pattern was shorter but repeated three times – definitely Jeonghan.
“Did you invite more people to my tea party?” Naeun asked, not sounding particularly upset about the prospect of additional guests.
“That would be Uncle Hannie,” Seungcheol’s wife said, already moving toward the door. “He said he had something for Naeun.”
“Something” turned out to be Seokmin, Joshua, and Wonwoo, along with what appeared to be half of a craft store. Jeonghan waltzed in like he owned the place, carrying a bag full of supplies, while the others followed with varying degrees of sheepishness.
“We heard there was a princess in need of proper royal crafts,” Jeonghan announced, dumping his bag on the coffee table with a flourish. “And Seokmin insisted on bringing his guitar.”
“For royal entertainment,” Seokmin added quickly, holding up his acoustic guitar case. “Princesses need proper serenades.”
“I just came to make sure nobody burned down the apartment,” Wonwoo said mildly, though he was already pulling something from his jacket pocket. “Also, I brought more appropriate magic tricks.”
Joshua, ever the gentleman, presented Naeun with a small wrapped box. “I thought you might like these for your next tea party,” he said in his careful, accented Korean.
Inside were a set of actual porcelain tea cups, child-sized but clearly real, painted with delicate flowers. Naeun’s eyes went wide with wonder as she lifted one carefully from its tissue paper nest.
“They’re real grown-up cups,” she whispered, as if speaking too loudly might make them disappear.
“Very real,” Joshua confirmed. “My mom helped me pick them out. She said every princess needs proper tea service.”
“Uncle Shua, they’re the most beautiful cups in the whole world,” Naeun declared, and Joshua’s smile could have powered the entire building.
What had started as a simple tea party was rapidly evolving into something resembling a small festival. Jeonghan had begun spreading out craft supplies with the efficiency of someone who’d clearly planned this in advance, while Seokmin tuned his guitar and Wonwoo shuffled what appeared to be a deck of actual magic cards (as opposed to his previous amateur hour attempts).
“Hyung,” Mingyu leaned over to whisper to Seungcheol, “I think we’ve been upstaged.”
“I think our daughter has an entire entertainment company at her disposal,” Seungcheol replied, watching Naeun flit between uncles like a butterfly sampling flowers.
His wife settled back beside him, shaking her head with amazement. “Remember when we used to worry about her not having enough socialization?”
“I remember when we worried about a lot of things,” Seungcheol said quietly. The early days of fatherhood had been terrifying in ways that performing on stage never was. Every cry, every fever, every milestone had felt monumental and fragile at the same time.
“Look at her now,” his wife murmured.
Naeun was in her element, directing her uncles with the confidence of someone who’d never doubted her place in the world. She’d assigned Jeonghan the task of helping her make crowns for everyone (apparently, one royal crown wasn’t enough for a proper court), while Seokmin provided background music and Wonwoo prepared what he promised would be “actually impressive” magic.
“Uncle Hannie, this one needs more sparkles,” Naeun declared, holding up a construction paper crown that was already ninety percent glitter.
“More sparkles, got it,” Jeonghan replied seriously, reaching for another container of craft supplies. “What about Uncle Gyu’s crown? Should it match his height?”
“Make it extra tall so everyone knows he’s the giant uncle,” Naeun decided.
“I’m not a giant,” Mingyu protested from where he was attempting to fold his long limbs into a child-appropriate sitting position on the floor.
“You’re bigger than the refrigerator,” Naeun pointed out with irrefutable logic.
While the crown-making continued, Wonwoo had set up what appeared to be a proper magic show area, complete with a small table draped with one of Naeun’s blankets. His movements were precise and practiced in a way that suggested he’d been doing more than just casual research into children’s entertainment.
“When did you learn actual magic?” Seungcheol asked, genuinely curious.
“YouTube,” Wonwoo replied without looking up from his card arrangement. “Also, Mingyu’s cousin teaches kids’ magic classes. I may have attended a few sessions.”
“You took magic lessons for my daughter?”
“I took magic lessons for my pride,” Wonwoo corrected. “Getting outwitted by a five-year-old is unacceptable.”
Seokmin, meanwhile, had found the perfect background music tempo – something light and whimsical that made everything feel like a scene from a family movie. His voice hummed along with the melody, unconsciously harmonizing with himself in that way that never failed to remind Seungcheol why they’d all chosen music in the first place.
“Appa,” Naeun appeared at his elbow suddenly, having momentarily abandoned crown construction. “Are you happy?”
The question was so direct, so purely her, that it caught him off guard. “What do you mean, baby?”
“You’re making your thinking face,” she said, climbing onto his lap with the ease of long practice. “The one where you look far away. Are you thinking sad thoughts or happy thoughts?”
Seungcheol wrapped his arms around her small frame, breathing in the scent of her strawberry shampoo mixed with glitter and cake frosting. “Very happy thoughts,” he said truthfully. “I was thinking about how lucky I am.”
“Because you have the best daughter in the world?” Naeun asked with a grin that was pure mischief.
“Because I have the best daughter in the world,” he agreed, “and the best wife in the world, and the most ridiculous uncles in the world who love you almost as much as I do.”
“That’s a lot of bests,” Naeun observed.
“I’m a very lucky appa.”
She seemed satisfied with this answer and settled more comfortably against his chest, content to supervise the ongoing craft production from her new vantage point. Seungcheol caught his wife’s eye across the room and saw his own contentment reflected back at him.
“Naeunie,” Jeonghan called, holding up a completed crown that was somehow even more elaborate than the original. “What do you think of Uncle Wonwoo’s royal headwear?”
The crown in question was a masterpiece of construction paper architecture, featuring multiple layers, an impressive array of gems (plastic, but convincing), and what appeared to be actual feathers. It was also approximately three times too large for any human head.
“It’s perfect,” Naeun declared. “Uncle Wonwoo will be the most royal uncle at the magic show.”
Wonwoo accepted his fate with the stoicism of someone who’d learned that resistance was futile when it came to Naeun’s vision. The crown perched precariously on his head, held in place by sheer determination and possibly divine intervention.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he announced formally, “prepare to be amazed by feats of wonder and impossible possibility.”
What followed was genuinely impressive. Wonwoo had clearly put considerable effort into learning tricks that would actually surprise and delight a child, rather than the transparent sleight-of-hand that had characterized Mingyu’s previous attempts. Cards appeared and disappeared, coins materialized from behind ears, and somehow he managed to produce a small stuffed rabbit from what had definitely been an empty box.
Naeun was entranced, gasping and clapping at each reveal, but Seungcheol found himself equally captivated by the sight of his normally reserved friend fully committed to entertaining a five-year-old audience. There was something beautiful about watching people step outside their comfort zones for love.
“How did you do that?” Naeun demanded after a particularly impressive card trick.
“Magic,” Wonwoo replied solemnly. “True magic can’t be explained, only experienced.”
“But really, how?”
“Trade secret. Magicians never reveal their methods.”
Naeun considered this seriously, then nodded with acceptance. “Okay, but can you teach me one that I can show Mama later?”
“I think that can be arranged,” Wonwoo said, and Seungcheol made a mental note to prepare for his daughter’s inevitable new obsession with prestidigitation.
The afternoon continued in this vein, flowing from activity to activity with the organic rhythm that seemed to characterize all gatherings involving Naeun. After magic came a mini concert, with Seokmin leading everyone in increasingly silly songs while Joshua provided harmony and Jeonghan added dramatic interpretive dance.
Mingyu had appointed himself official photographer, documenting every moment with the dedication of a professional despite the fact that his subjects kept moving and his main model had a tendency to make faces at the camera when she thought no one was looking.
“Appa, come sing with us,” Naeun called, having climbed onto the coffee table to serve as conductor for what appeared to be an original composition about tea parties and magic shows.
“I don’t know the words,” Seungcheol protested weakly.
“There are no words!” she replied with five-year-old logic. “We’re making them up!”
And so Seungcheol found himself standing in his living room, surrounded by his bandmates and family, singing a nonsensical song about royal cake and magical uncles while his daughter conducted with the serious concentration of a maestro. His wife was laughing so hard she was crying, Kkuma was barking along in what might have been harmony, and somehow it was the most natural thing in the world.
This was what happiness looked like, he realized. Not the roar of crowds or the satisfaction of a perfect performance, but this – chaos and laughter and the complete absence of dignity in service of making one small person feel like the center of the universe.
As the impromptu concert wound down, exhaustion began to set in. Naeun’s energy, while impressive, was not infinite, and the combination of sugar, excitement, and multiple uncles had begun to take its toll. She found herself gravitating back toward Seungcheol’s lap, her movements becoming slower and her blinks longer.
“Someone’s getting sleepy,” his wife observed gently.
“I’m not sleepy,” Naeun protested, even as she curled more firmly against Seungcheol’s chest. “I’m just resting my eyes so I can see the magic better.”
“Of course,” Seungcheol agreed seriously. “That’s very smart princess thinking.”
One by one, her uncles began the process of taking their leave, each stopping to say proper goodbyes and receive official thanks for their contributions to the royal tea party. Jeonghan left behind enough craft supplies to stock a small art classroom, while Wonwoo presented Naeun with a junior magician’s kit and a promise to teach her three tricks at their next meeting.
Seokmin and Joshua coordinated their departure with the efficiency of long practice, but not before Seokmin had been made to promise to bring his guitar to the next family gathering. Mingyu lingered the longest, as he always did, reluctant to leave the peaceful chaos of their little family unit.
“Thank you,” Seungcheol said as he walked Mingyu to the door, Naeun having finally succumbed to sleep in his arms.
“For what? Bringing cake? That’s basic uncle duty.”
“For all of it,” Seungcheol gestured vaguely at the living room, which looked like a craft store had exploded in the most wonderful way. “For loving her like she’s yours.”
Mingyu’s expression grew serious for a moment. “Hyung, she kind of is mine. Yours and hers and all of ours. That’s how family works, right?”
“Yeah,” Seungcheol said quietly, “that’s exactly how family works.”
After Mingyu left, the apartment settled into the peaceful quiet that followed a day well-spent. His wife began the process of cleaning up while Seungcheol carried Naeun to her bedroom, carefully navigating around the various craft projects and new toys that marked the path of her day.
He tucked her into bed still wearing her princess crown, deciding that some rules were made to be broken. She stirred slightly as he pulled her blankets up, just enough to mumble something that sounded like “best tea party ever” before settling back into sleep.
“Sweet dreams, princess,” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.
Back in the living room, his wife had made impressive progress on the cleanup, sorting craft supplies and folding blankets with practiced efficiency. Kkuma had reclaimed her favorite spot on the couch, though she was still wearing one small bow from her earlier princess transformation.
“Leave it,” Seungcheol said as his wife reached for the last of the paper crown supplies. “She’ll want to finish those tomorrow.”
“Our dining room table is going to be unusable for a week,” she pointed out, but there was no real complaint in her voice.
“We’ll eat on TV trays. It’ll be an adventure.”
She laughed, settling beside him on the couch and curling into his side with the easy intimacy of years together. “Remember when we thought having a baby would make our lives quieter?”
“I remember thinking a lot of stupid things before she came along,” Seungcheol said, tightening his arms around her. “Like thinking I knew what love was.”
“You’re getting sentimental in your old age, Choi Seungcheol.”
“I’m getting honest in my old age,” he corrected. “There’s a difference.”
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching the last of the afternoon light fade through their windows. The apartment still hummed with the energy of the day – glitter catching the light, the lingering scent of fancy cake, the echo of laughter in every corner.
“She’s going to remember today forever,” his wife said softly.
“Good,” Seungcheol replied. “I want her to remember that she’s loved. Not just by us, but by everyone who matters to us. I want her to know that our family is bigger than just blood, and that she’ll never have to navigate this world alone.”
“Even when she’s fifteen and hates us for existing?”
“Especially then. That’s when she’ll need Uncle Mingyu to remind her that her parents are actually pretty cool, and Uncle Jeonghan to teach her how to get revenge on mean girls, and Uncle Wonwoo to show her that quiet strength is just as powerful as loud confidence.”
His wife tilted her head to look at him. “You’ve really thought about this.”
“I think about it all the time,” he admitted. “About what kind of life we’re giving her, what kind of person she’s going to become. Today… today I realized I don’t have to worry so much. Look at how she commanded that room, how she made everyone feel special and included. Look at how naturally she loves people and expects to be loved back.”
“She gets that from you, you know.”
“She gets that from both of us. And from them.” He gestured toward the door through which his bandmates had recently departed. “She’s growing up surrounded by people who chose to love each other, who made family out of friendship and commitment instead of just accepting what they were given. That’s not nothing.”
“No,” his wife agreed quietly, “that’s everything.”
Later that evening, after dinner had been eaten off TV trays as predicted and Naeun had been convinced to take a bath despite her argument that princesses didn’t need to wash off their royal sparkles, Seungcheol found himself in her bedroom for the second time that day.
She was already in her pajamas, a set covered in cartoon dragons that seemed to contradict her earlier dedication to princess aesthetics, but somehow made perfect sense for her eclectic personality. Her hair was still damp from the bath, and she smelled like lavender body wash and childhood.
“Appa, will you tell me a story?” she asked as he tucked her in properly this time, having convinced her to remove the crown for sleeping.
“What kind of story do you want?”
“A story about today. But make it like a real story, with once upon a time and everything.”
Seungcheol settled into the chair beside her bed, the same chair where he’d spent countless nights during her infancy, watching her sleep and marveling at the fact that he’d helped create something so perfect and terrifying.
“Once upon a time,” he began, “there was a princess who lived in a magical kingdom with her mama and papa and her loyal companion, a brave white dragon named Kkuma.”
“Dragons can’t be white,” Naeun interrupted drowsily.
“This one could. It was a very special dragon. Now, one day, the princess decided to hold the most magnificent tea party in all the land…”
He wove the day’s events into a proper fairy tale, complete with magical uncles who appeared with gifts and talents, enchanted cakes that granted wishes, and crowns that bestowed special powers upon their wearers. Naeun’s eyes grew heavy as the story progressed, but she fought sleep to hear every detail, occasionally murmuring corrections or additions to ensure accuracy.
“…and so the princess realized that the real magic wasn’t in the tricks or the crowns or even the cake,” Seungcheol continued softly, “but in being surrounded by people who loved her enough to spend their day making hers special. And she lived happily ever after, knowing that whenever she needed them, her magical uncles would appear with exactly what she needed most.”
“What did she need most?” Naeun whispered, though her eyes were already closed.
“Love,” Seungcheol said simply. “She needed to know she was loved, and she was. More than she could ever imagine.”
“That’s a good story, Appa.”
“It’s a true story, baby. The best kind.”
He sat with her until her breathing evened out into the deep rhythm of sleep, then allowed himself a few more minutes to simply watch her. Five years old, with the whole world ahead of her and the unshakeable confidence that came from being unconditionally loved. She would face challenges, heartbreaks, moments of doubt – but she would face them knowing she had an entire chosen family in her corner.
His phone buzzed quietly with a message. The group chat, predictably.
Mingyu: Thanks for today, hyung. I needed that more than you know.
Jeonghan: Same. Nothing like princess duty to put life in perspective.
Wonwoo: I’ve already ordered more magic supplies. Next time I’m doing levitation.
Seokmin: I’m writing a song about royal tea parties. Naeun inspired me.
Joshua: My mom wants to know when the next family dinner is. She’s making Naeun a matching tea set.
Seungcheol smiled, typing back quickly: You’re all ridiculous. She’s going to be so spoiled.
Mingyu: That’s the point of being an uncle.
Jeonghan: Wait until she starts dating. We’re going to be terrifying.
Wonwoo: I’m already researching intimidation techniques.
Seokmin: We have fifteen years to prepare!
Joshua: Thirteen years. Kids grow up fast these days.
Seungcheol could picture them all, scattered across the city but connected by their phones and their shared investment in his daughter’s wellbeing. They’d be there for every birthday, every school play, every milestone and heartbreak. They’d spoil her outrageously and drive him crazy and love her with the fierce protectiveness that had always characterized their approach to family.
He turned off the bedside lamp and padded quietly out of Naeun’s room, closing the door behind him with practiced stealth. His wife was already in their bedroom, propped up against the pillows with a book and a cup of tea, looking completely at peace with the chaos that had been their day.
“How long did the story take?” she asked as he began changing into pajamas.
“Longer than usual. She wanted all the details included for historical accuracy.”
“Of course she did. She’s your daughter.”
Seungcheol climbed into bed beside her, automatically reaching for her hand the way he had every night for years. “Today was perfect.”
“Today was exhausting,” she corrected with a laugh. “But yes, also perfect.”
“I keep thinking about what Mingyu said. About how she’s all of ours. Sometimes I feel guilty about how much they love her, like I’m taking advantage of their kindness.”
“Seungcheol.” His wife set down her book and turned to face him fully. “They don’t love her because they have to. They love her because she’s loveable, and because she’s part of you, and because love multiplies when you share it. You’re not taking advantage of anything – you’re giving them the gift of being part of something beautiful.”
“When did you get so wise?”
“I married you, didn’t I? I had to develop wisdom in self-defense.”
He laughed, pulling her closer and burying his face in her hair. “I love you.”
“I love you too. Even when you get all philosophical about tea parties.”
“Especially then.”
They lay together in comfortable silence, processing the day and preparing for whatever tomorrow would bring. Probably more craft projects, definitely more questions about magic tricks, possibly another impromptu gathering of uncles bearing gifts and chaos.
“Hey,” his wife said suddenly, her voice soft in the darkness.
“What?”
“We’re really good at this, aren’t we? The whole family thing?”
Seungcheol thought about his daughter’s laughter, about the easy way his bandmates had folded themselves into their domestic life, about the casual miracle of ordinary happiness. “Yeah,” he said quietly, “we really are.”
And in the room down the hall, a five-year-old princess slept peacefully, dreaming of magic shows and royal tea parties, secure in the knowledge that she was the center of a universe built entirely from love. Tomorrow there would be more adventures, more laughter, more opportunities to learn that family wasn’t just about the people you were born to, but about the people who chose to show up, day after day, with cake and crowns and an endless capacity for making the ordinary feel magical.
It was, Seungcheol reflected as sleep finally claimed him, the best kind of fairy tale – the kind that was absolutely, perfectly true.
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heartthrobin · 11 months ago
Text
all's fair in love and war (2)
oliver wood x female!reader
wc: 7.87k
warnings: enemies to lovers, still so damn much pining, set in poa, timeline is a bit wonky, limited use of y/n, archie being my fav oc, cheese fest
an: literally fell asleep on my laptop last night editing this, i was so exhausted from school so i’m sorry it’s late !!! but i had the most fun in the world writing this and i hope everyone enjoys :)) don't forget to comment and repost your favourite writers
summary: Oliver is still impossibly miserable, maybe more uncooperative than before, except now when you look at him: you can't think of much else beyond how sweet his lips tasted.
part one
You can’t sleep.
You're not sure you'll find sleep ever again.
“I knew it, I knew it—“ Cherry had bounced the whole way to your dormitory, howling into your ear. “I knew it!”
The image of Oliver’s fluttering eyes swum around your brain as you blinked into the darkness of the poster bed. The taste of his tongue and his words still right against your lips.
It was a riddle of a calibre that you can’t seem to detangle. More than anything, you try to remember how strong has he tasted of Firewhisky - was he so drunk to really dismiss it to nothing at all?
You lingered on it all weekend.
Cherry didn’t help at all — he’s been in love with you forever, that’s literally so obvious — and Enzo even less so once he’d been filled in: Oliver doesn’t seem a bloke who let’s alcohol make his decisions for him, something about Scottish genetics I think.
The interaction plagued you: digging a wide hole in the base of your stomach. You mourned the thought that you may never have the opportunity to kiss those soft lips again, more than anything: preparing yourself for the feud between yourselves to worsen.
There’s barely enough time to make sense of your situation before you’re racing down over the grassy hills of the grounds, bag swinging violently over your shoulder and extraordinarily late for your Herbology lesson in the greenhouse.
Your morning alarm had rung right into one ear and out the other, a product of the tossing and turning you’d been doing for the last two nights.
When you swing the greenhouse door open, panting and face flush from the beating sun, the whole room turns to you. Sprout pauses where her hands are flailing in explanation.
“Sorry I’m late professor,” you wheeze, readjusting your strap over your shoulder.
Cherry is smirking at you from her bench, sidled up with Jane Emmet.
It hadn’t escaped you that you’d be sharing the lesson with the Gryffindors, but you’d precious little time to worry about it in the five minutes you had to pull a robe over your head and stick a toothbrush into your mouth.
Your eyes are purposeful in not looking over the room. Scared to catch the wrong eyes.
“Not a problem peach, we’re just repotting some Fire-Seed Bushes.” She brings a stubby hand to her chin, “uhm … well, Mr Kumar there in the corner doesn’t have a partner. Go join him by his pots.”
Archie has a lopsided smile on his face when you approach, a thick black curl drooping over his left eye.
“Hey.” He nudges gently.
You set your bag down and grab a pair of gloves, chuckling. “Hey Archie.”
The soil is warm when you stick your fingers into the dirt, shifting it gently enough not to mess over the edge of the bucket. There’s a Fire-Seed Bush sitting tentatively at the end of the bench, spitting sparks and emitting smoke.
“So …” Archie speaks first, the back of his hand bumping yours between the black soil. “How was your weekend?”
It’s a veiled question, a poorly veiled one at that. The question draws a laugh from the base of your stomach.
You shrug, adamant on missing the point. “It was alright, I guess. How about yours?”
He shrugs right back. “Wasn’t the greatest. Penelope Clearwater rejected me for Percy Weasley.”
You don't mean to, you really don't, but it draws another bout of laughter out of you - you clap your hand over your mouth. “I’m sorry—“
“No, I get it. Percy bloody Weasley?” His brow is creased, dirt-stained hands rising messily from the soil to swipe at a fallen piece of hair in his face. “Dead sure that bloke's own mother can't say he’s handsome. I’m better looking than him, surely?”
There’s the hanging insinuation that it was rhetorical, but you reply anyways: “you’re definitely more handsome than Percy Weasley, Archie.”
His head cocks down at you, stained paws finding his waist and pressing black fingerprints into the red jumper. “You really think so?”
“Without a doubt.”
Archie smiles, bumping your side against his. You think he might be blushing. “You’re very charming. I understand what Oliver sees in you.”
You jolt involuntarily, spilling some black soil over the edge of the pot.
Swiping at the mess lazily, you play the comment off with another crumbly chuckle: hoping it convinces him more than it does yourself. “Oliver sees in me what a bull sees in a red cape.”
Archie’s reaching timidly for the Fire-Seed Bush, lifting it off the counter and holding the dangerous botanical at arm’s length. “Not true. The boy’s half in love with you.”
This conversation is getting awfully uncomfortable awfully quickly. It picks at your curiosity nonetheless.
“He said that?”
He’s quick to shake off the question, eyes still trained on setting the roots of the bush into the gap in the soil. “Oliver doesn’t have to say anything. He spends practically every fucking mealtime mooning over at your table, and he talks about you way more than necessary—“
“That’s just because I work on his nerves. Oliver doesn’t love me, he barely tolerates me.”
The boy turns on you, confusion set in his brow. “Why is this news? Last I saw you, your tongue was halfway into his stomach.”
Zachariah Smith and his Gryffindor partner look up at that. Your face goes hot all over - Archie doesn’t seem to notice.
“We were drunk.” You say softly, eyes stuck on a loose leaf crackling against the wooden counter.
There’s a special kind of fear that's crawling into your heart where you stand. The fear of putting too much faith into the words of Archie Kumar.
That it’s an elaborate ruse. A set-up, canons of confetti and a banner screaming “you’ve been fooled!” if you were to indulge his words. The danger of allowing your mind to drift too far off into the possibilities of a world wherein Oliver Wood doesn’t hate you - at least not as much as he lets on.
Archie looks at you out the side of his eye, you can feel it, but says nothing. He hands you a miniature yellow-handled spade.
Instead you fill the space. "I heard Isla Flynn has a crush on you."
He perks: "really?"
Across the room, Oliver is bumping elbows with Poppy Davis.
"Ow!"
A loose spark has evidently landed on her exposed arm. The sparks that Oliver was supposed to be watching for, the ones that he is intent on ignoring with the constant glancing back over his shoulder to where you and his best mate are in the corner of the room fucking giggling at each other like toddlers with a box of matches.
“Oliver — can you just focus for five seconds!” Poppy isn’t impressed.
Oliver isn’t either, with the situation as a whole. The pads of his fingers are blistered from the repotting of the bush and Poppy’s careless bumps and his general indifference to the task at hand.
It eats at his brain. What are you guys talking about? Is it about him?
You laugh again and it’s loud enough that it draws his shoulders all the way taut. There’s another snap of a spark and Oliver feels where it lands at his wrist, but he doesn’t react.
“Just pass me the bloody spade.” He grumbles.
-
The lesson passes more slowly than Oliver could swim shoulder-deep through molasses.
It feels like years later when he tosses his gloves into the box with the rest, when the class shuffles to return tools and begin slinging half-open bags over their shoulders.
Oliver doesn’t think he’s ever packed up faster - Poppy is still scowling at him, he doesn’t care - before he’s knocking through yellow and red tied students to find Archie’s head of curly black hair.
“Hey!” He catches him by the wrist, tugging on it like a dog with a bone. Archie jumps, eyes winding down to find his friend. “What did she say?”
You’re far ahead, Oliver can make out the back of your head: hips bumping with Cherry’s up the hill towards the castle.
Archie grins. “She said Isla Flynn has a crush on me.”
Oliver groans, “Not about that, you prat. About— wait, really?”
"Yeah!" He hikes his bag higher on his shoulder. "Can you believe it? She's got that hot Irish accent and everything."
Oliver nods, "Yeah ... yeah. Good on you, mate."
He's trying desperately not to steal this moment from his best friend, but he's fucking itching to know what else you and Archie had been giggling about.
"Did she ... say anything else?" He presses, more gently than his character usually allows. "Like about me?"
Archie shrugs without looking down. "I asked her, but she seemed tense about the whole thing."
"Tense?"
"Yeah, she said something about a bull and a cape, and went like all quiet when I told her you like her--"
At that, Oliver's stomach leaps up into his throat. He grabs his best friend by the arm, jolting him to a short stop. Some Hufflepuff bumps into their halted figures, grumbling before shuffling around them.
"You told her what?" His eyes flare erratically.
Archie shrugs, an innocuously confused look painting his features. "Well I said Oliver's half in love with you, or something like that and she looked all confused about it--"
Oliver's grip on his friend's wrist tightened to a degree that a ring was sure to form on his dark skin. "You fucking pinhead! You told her I liked her?"
Pulling his arm violently from his grip, Archie has the nerve to look affronted. "You don't?"
The morning sun shining over Oliver's head feels like it's growing hotter by the second, there's a dribble of sweat running down his spine.
"That's -- that's not the point. Even if I do, which I'm not saying is the case, she doesn't need to know that."
"Were you two obliviated in your sleep last night?" Archie's eyebrows are pressed down against his eyes, slouching down to meet his friend's face. "I caught you two making out like the world was ending less than three days ago! Surely she has to figure that you feeling something for her, she's not stupid."
Oliver struggles between his thoughts, worse around his words. "That was ... we'd been drinking. For all I know, she only kissed me back cause she was trollied off Dragon-Barrell--"
"She said that, too."
Eyeing him, Oliver's hands find his hips. "Said what, exactly?"
"That you were drunk, I mentioned the kiss and she said we were drunk."
A sensation he can only identify as closest to guilt seeps up into Oliver's chest from his stomach. "She thinks I kissed her just cause I was drunk?"
Archie's hand finds Oliver's shoulder. "You should probably talk to her, mate."
He sighs, eyes drifting over the silhouette of the castle in the distance. He shakes his head like it'll rattle the plaguing thoughts loose. "We're gonna be late for Transfig."
-
"I mean, Archie is his best friend." Cherry is trying to rationalise the whole story. "I don't see why he'd lie about it?"
You shake your head, knocking shoulders with a Ravenclaw girl trying to pass through the corridor. "I'm not entertaining it, Cherry."
"Come on," she sighs, practically skipping to keep up with the furious pace you've set. "Would it be so terrible if he likes you?"
"Yes." You don't look at her.
The redhead's eye-roll is practically audible, "Let me rephrase, would it be so terrible if he likes you back?"
You meet her eyes for the first time since you'd entered the corridor.
She sighs, "we're gonna see him in Muggle Studies in five minutes. I think you should say something."
"Forget I said anything, Cherry." Heat flares at your neck again, prompted by the embarrassment of even imagining how such a conversation might go.
The rest of the walk is quiet, but you feel Cherry's gaze warming the side of your face.
Burbage's classroom is over-populated with Gryffindors by the time you drop your bag against the marbled floor beside your desk. In the corner of your eye, your brain has already fixated on Oliver's silhouette leaned against the edge of his own desk. You flush hot all over again, as if your thoughts were transcribing into subtitles and floating above your head for the whole class to read.
The click of Burbage's heels prompt the lingering students to find their seats, "Please take out your copies of Muggle Wars: Cause and Effect. We left off on page eighty-seven--"
You suddenly regret snapping at Cherry. Wishing for the comfort of her presence, your eyes glazing over where she's perched in the first row of desks closest to the chalkboard.
Unusually, the class trickles on without disruption. There's a few glances over at your direction, like everyone is waiting for another outburst from the grade's most volatile duo. They're sure to be let down, you're adamant to not even breathe in the direction of Wood.
Burbage comments on it, too, nearly ten minutes from the bell.
"It's suspiciously quiet in your corner today, captains." she looks down through her fingerprint-smudged frames, brushing over you and then Wood three seats away. "Something the matter?"
You shrug, refusing to acknowledge the boy. He seems to be doing the same: completely unfairly, the thought that he wouldn't look at you made the hair on your arms stand straight. "We can start up if you'd like, professor?"
Her face contorts into that irritated look that you'd grown accustomed to when Professor Burbage addresses you. "You're flirting dangerously with another session of detention, miss."
"She's just answering your question, professor."
Nobody in the class seemed more surprised than Burbage, although that in itself was a feat. The two Gryffindor boys in the row ahead of you swivel all the way around in their seats to look at Oliver, who'd just spoken.
You fight the twitching urge to look at him.
"Detention for two, it seems. I'll be seeing you both Friday afternoon."
A calm air settles again over the class, as if order had been restored. You and Wood had lost the interest of the room and students shift back to the board where WHAT IS A PRIME MINISTER? is sprawled across it in chicken-scratch handwriting.
Sighing, your eyes find the clock against the wall. Eight minutes left.
You pick at the end of your quill irritably: electing to dip it into the ink at the edge of the desk and entertain yourself quietly by drawing a miniature snowman at the corner of your page, trying not to think about another Friday afternoon in too close of a proximity to Oliver Wood. There's a soft whir, barely audible if you weren't so focused on outlining pebble eyes, and a tiny paper-airplane whizzes quietly from under your desk: landing squarely on the nose-less head of your snowman.
Fear prickles at you. You don't look up for the source, lest a suspicious sideways glance earns you another weekend with the party-animal Charity Burbage.
Instead, you carefully undo the intricately folded wings of the plane. It's barely big enough to fit into your palm once open, the top of the little note marked in black ink.
It was the same handwriting that marked the sign-out sheet for equipment in the Quidditch storage rooms down at the pitch.
'Thanks for that one, smart-mouth.'
Your eyes flicker up to Burbage, who's back is turned, before you dip your quill into the ink and scribble out a response. In your peripheral, Oliver is leaned back in his stool: biceps folded over each other. There's an unexplainably airy-fairy, fuzzy feeling warming your rib cavity.
'Believe this one was your fault, dickhead.'
You quietly refold the creased edges, before tapping it lightly with the end of your wand: then watch how it takes off the airstrip of your page and zips quietly under the cover of desks to land back in front of the sender.
There's a long pause - enough for Burbage to draw out a whole flow diagram of something called "parliament" - before the edge of the paper wing grazes at your calf again. It lands quietly again.
'Maybe.
We good?'
There's a gentleness to the sentence. Like you can hear it from Oliver's mouth, like he's avoiding your gaze when he whispers it.
You hunch over the note again.
Oliver's knuckles are turning white, twisting his wand in his hands under the table. He shouldn't have said anything. He's regretting the whole fucking idea of the stupid paper-plane now.
He's trying not to watch you write, not to notice how long you stared at his writing before you picked up your own quill. He does anyways.
When the airplane flutters down into his palm, Burbage is already excusing the class. Stools are scraping against cold tile, the clutter of textbooks being crammed back into bags.
'Never :)'
His eyes run over the word once, twice, three times over. A smile is tugging at the edge of his lip, he forces it taut - but his eyes are still shining unusually brightly when Archie knocks his shoulder to his.
"What you looking so damn happy about?"
Oliver tucks the note into the pocket of his robes. "Don’t know what yer talking about."
-
"But professor, why can't Hufflepuff take Saturday?"
"Well, Hufflepuff already gave up our practice days for Gryff--!"
Hooch sighed so deeply she almost melted back into her armchair. "The decision is made, Oliver. The pitch is being cleaned out on Wednesday, your team can take Saturday for any extra training."
He could practically hear the smile creeping onto your face, the smug crossed-arm look he'll no doubt find when he turns to you.
Irritation bubbles up in his throat, a familiar companion in your presence, and just as he prophesied: you are grinning.
In the weeks that followed that day in Burbage's class, it seemed that both parties decided that the topic of their shared kiss outside the Ravenclaw common room was best left undiscussed.
The arrangement is working. At least Oliver thinks so.
You still bait him and he still snaps, rising to your taunts. He still finds himself in detention more Fridays than he spends free, and his body ripples with anger when you roll your eyes at him.
But it was in moments, like this now, where your little self-satisfied grin doesn't quite vex him to the degree it once did. It's now harder to find a retort, to snap at you with a sharp-edged comment. Not when amusement crinkles at the corners of your eyes where your black lashes kiss so prettily.
Hooch swivels in her chair to find a document between one of her cluttered drawers, you take the opportunity to stick the tip of your tongue out childishly at him.
Oliver draws a tight breath, he hopes his face is still taut in annoyance, because his heart has slipped like a stone down into his stomach. That's the other issue, the tiny little obstacle in these recent weeks: he can't stop looking at your mouth. It's distracting, disarming - paralysing at the best of times.
He strips his gaze away, before he can be outed by anyone in the room. "Whatever." He mumbles.
You seem disappointed in his lack of a real response, but it passes quickly - like a shadow - over your face.
"Thanks professor." You grab up your roster from her desk and turn to the door, practically skipping out into the corridor.
He huffs.
Somehow, you and Archie have become fast friends. Mornings around Fire-Seed Bushes and Venomous Tentaculas in the heat of Greenhouse Three seems to do wonders for a friendship.
It prickles at Oliver's nerves when you pass in the corridors, when you perk up with a high "hey Arch!" and he grins down from his towering height right back at you: "hey Y/n!"
You don't look at Oliver. He's notably sour the rest of the walk.
Alright, maybe the whole arrangement wasn't really working. You were a distraction to him before, no doubt, but somehow your powers of beguilement had tripled. Especially since you seem to be behaving perfectly normal: like you hadn't given Oliver the best snog of his life outside the Ravenclaw common room that night.
Maybe it was just alcohol, maybe he is the only one plagued by the knowledge of the other's taste.
The castle has turned impossibly colder, the bitter bite of winter stinging at the loose cuffs of his robes on walkthroughs of the corridors. He can't imagine how cold the air above the pitch is going to be on Sunday when Hufflepuff faces off Slytherin for a spot in the finals.
It's all Hooch has been going on about for the last two weeks.
Oliver's had to shift around at least four practices - Roger almost twice as much, he's a pushover - to allow for you and Marcus to have more time on the pitch. His complaints fell on deaf ears, Hooch dismissed him with a wave of her bony hand and a "your time is coming, Wood."
You prance into dinner late most evenings, hair in every direction and face flush with sweat: sticking it out like a bumblebee in those awful yellow quidditch robes.
Oliver only notices because, annoyingly, he's found that he is frequenting the bench at the Gryffindor table that faces over to the Hufflepuff's. His eyes drift over the yellow-tied heads to where you clump up with Enzo and Cherry, watches you talk around mouthfuls of toast lazily, giggle behind your napkin: head rolling back to showcase that smooth neck, how it runs down to the soft slopes of your shoulders: disappearing down into your button-up.
Archie has noticed, he's sure, but hasn't done more but allude to it with teasing glances or suggestive comments.
"The Hufflepuffs up to something particularly interesting over there, Ollie?"
The speed with which Oliver's eyes snap to his peas is almost comical. He shrugs and mumbles like a child. "Don't know."
-
On Sunday morning, you don't go to breakfast.
There's an uncomfortable gurgling in your midriff, like a snake is slithering between your organs and you're sure even just the smell of eggs on toast would bring up your dinner.
Instead you find yourself at the pitch a whole hour before the game is set to start. Marcus is running laps around the grass, something he's done since you've known him.
He offers a curt wave, face set like cold stone.
It reminds you of Oliver a little bit, the distraction in his eyes.
Oliver is never all the way there, wherever he is, you think. His eyes mist over like he's halfway between this world and another. You know it's Quidditch: he dreams it, eats it, sleeps it.
But lately he's foggier than usual.
You think it's your imagination, brush off the idea as you have all the millions of others you'd had in the preceding weeks about the surly brute that was Oliver Wood. He plagues you.
Just the vibrato of his unimpressed huff when you get your way, when you quip something purposely annoying at him. It's addictive, the feel of his sugar-brown eyes glaring a hole through you.
Lately, his reactions have been closer to underwhelming. Allowing for only a moment of eye contact: gone are the quick-witted retorts, the Scottish-laced "princess" usually attached. The thought makes you wince in embarrassment, knowing that you've been pressing him harder lately: like a seven-year old jabbing at a claw machine, outwardly desperate for that brown plushy on the top of the pile.
Maybe he's over it. So deathly mortified of your shared kiss that he doesn't want to know you anymore, much less take the effort to hate you. Your chest pinches tightly.
You dress into your match robes slowly, taking your time with the loops of your shoelaces and the buttons down the sweater you're wearing underneath everything. Oliver Wood should be at the bottom of your list of priorities, normally, but now more than ever.
The team filters into the change-room, exhibiting varying degrees of nervousness. Cedric is practically green, but Herbert looks like he's about to go down a water-slide he's waited over an hour in line for. Beyond the swinging doors, you can hear the crowd shuffling loudly into their seats.
Before your wits are completely about you, Hooch is rapping on those same doors. "Onto the pitch, Hufflepuffs!"
You muster up your best excuse for a captain's speech for what might be the last match you ever play as one. The team seem satisfied, you figure it's easy to find solace before a game when you know it's not your last. As the only seventh year, comfort doesn't come so easily to you.
The crowd is deafening when yellow robes take to the sky: Marcus looks over, offering another nod, not unlike the one he'd given you earlier. You can tell he's feeling the dread of finality too.
There's a whistle blow and the quaffle flies past your face with a speed that nearly evacuates your nose from your face. Lee is announcing in the distance and the rumble of adrenaline forces your fingers over the handle. It tilts and you dip, disappearing into the sky of players.
-
The winter air at Hogwarts was biting enough roaming the corridors, but thirty metres off the ground is something wholly unnatural. Your face was burning crisp from the icy wind, the feeling in your cheeks and nose lost to the Scottish cold.
Foggy white clouds puff out with each heavy breath. Cedric zooms past and Jane loops around his moving figure to knock a stray bludger in the opposite direction.
Your eyes flash between them and the fast approaching Malcolm, he tosses the quaffle at you with a grunt and you catch it at the tips of slippery, ice-frozen fingertips.
Shooting forward again, you duck under Marcus who is hurtling through the sky at you: gone is the look of friendly fondness from his eyes, replaced with a hunger for the leather-bound ball in your grasp.
Just missing the grasp of his meaty hand, the ball passes onto Heidi.
"Another ten points to Hufflepuff," Lee's voice echoes as if from heaven. "That brings the score to ninety for Hufflepuff and eighty for Slytherin!"
It's been nearly ninety-five minutes of sitting on your broom growing colder, and you're not alone.
Around you, the team is descending into frost-induced exhaustion: Jane's nose is as bright red as a Christmas ornament and Cedric has been peeping over the top of his thick woollen-scarf for at least the last half - barely enough to catch a glance of the whizzing canary and emerald robes, much less of a tiny golden snitch.
You sigh out another white breath, letting your eyes drift over the stands. It's saturated with moving heads of faces you can't make out and yellow and green swaying banners. Your gaze lingers on the top left, in the corner facing the castle. It's where Cherry and Enzo park themselves during every match, where you know they're screaming in support, clenching their teeth at every quaffle handover. You can feel them, even when their faces blur into the crowd.
Unintentionally, you think about how Oliver's mixed in there too. Somewhere between your peers. If you had been granted another moment, if the quaffle wasn't mid-air between two Slytherins just under your nose and you'd not taken the opportunity to snatch it from them, you would have meandered into the trap of hoping that deep down in his chest - even if it was core of the earth deep - he was rooting for you, too. That he seethed at a missed goal or clenched a tight fist at his side in celebration when a Hufflepuff makes a beautiful play.
Meanwhile in the stands, Oliver has decided that the desire to play his allegiances in secret has since disappeared from his heart.
He'd played it light in the first few minutes. Mumbling under his breath at a fumbled pass or a slimy move from the Slytherins, but by the forty-fifth minute he'd found himself on his feet.
"Diggory!" His hands waved in front of him, "it was right there you fucking git--"
A Hufflepuff third year a row ahead looked at him askew, but he paid her no mind.
Archie had taken the hint early. As soon as Oliver was out of his seat, so was he. Despite being Oliver Wood's best friend, Archie had somewhat limited knowledge of the game himself and eyed Oliver's reactions to find the appropriate moments to whoop and cheer. Oliver didn't say anything, but he appreciated it more than he could verbalise.
His eyes tracked you more than anything, when you were flying between players or just floating in place: eyes like a hawk, watching over the game. His heart swelled and his pride fell to the wayside.
Just short of the two hour mark, there was a rise in the crowd.
"The seekers have caught sight of the snitch!"
Oliver's stomach rose into his throat.
"They're diving for it, Malfoy and Diggory head to head-- and Slytherin grabs the snitch, winning by 140 points!"
It sank back into place, like a stone to the bottom of the river. He watched how you froze, how you twisted over your shoulder to find Diggory's figure lingering at the bottom of the field. You shoulders sagged, hanging in the air as the others dropped to the ground.
"Slytherin have made it into the finals against Gryffindor for the quidditch cup, back here at the pitch next month!"
After a long moment, the last in the sky, you followed them down.
The raucous cheers from the Slytherins were hard to drown out, he wasn't even sure Archie heard him toss a "i'll find you at the castle" before he found himself pushing through the masses of people.
He fought against the wave moving to find the stairs, eager to return to the warmth of their dormitories, but Oliver was markedly more motivated than the majority. He stomped on some toes and nearly tossed a first year off the stands to race down the stairs.
Only once his feet had found the mushy grass of the pitch, did he pause to consider that he wasn't entirely sure what he was going to say. What was the rush for? To comfort you, tease you for your loss?
The latter option was definitely what he could do, what he could say. What was expected of him, if he was being honest. Recently, however, he's found it harder and harder to come up with remarks to hurt your feelings. Found that he quite prefers that little smile that tucks into the corner of your mouth when he says something unexpectedly fond. How your eyes practically gleam.
There's shoving from all sides of him -- get out the way, bloody hell -- and the teams pass ahead of him. Leading the march, despite it being nothing more than a slow trudge, is your figure: squashed between those of who he recognises to be Cherry Stretton and Enzo Musa's.
Their arms wrapped over your shoulders, talking animatedly into your ear on each side. Enzo tips his head to meet yours, a small touch of comfort.
Oliver sighs. He has nothing to say and no comfort to offer, wondering for a moment what he could possibly bare to hear in his own final moments as captain. He thinks that anything from your mouth would work.
So he waits, parks himself beside the stairs and waits for Archie: watching the six-legged figure disappear up over the hill.
-
You're not at dinner.
He knows because he's been watching the door for the better half of an hour. Archie pushes his plate at him, "Eat something there, Ollie."
Begrudgingly, Oliver brings his drumstick up to his mouth. "She's not eaten a thing since breakfast, it's almost eight."
Archie passes a sympathetic look over him. "Her friends are here, I'm sure she'll be by soon. There's no use you joining her on a hunger-strike."
He's right. Cherry and Enzo and some others that frequent your circle are talking around the table, around the spot that you usually fill. But dinner goes on and students leak steadily out towards bed without your return.
Eventually Oliver huffs, like an irritated bulldog, and grabs for the nearest napkin: unfolding it out in front of him.
"What are you doing?" Archie asks thickly, spitting bits of rice at him.
Oliver reaches for two chicken skewers, placing them neatly on the white square: alongside a dinner roll and a pumpkin pasty.
He wraps them over, double wraps it with another napkin too.
"What does it look like, Arch."
Placing it carefully into the deep pocket of his robe, Oliver goes to stand - lacking the patience it takes for Archie to answer, or for his inevitable teasing. "I'll find you back in our room."
He's halfway out the hall when Archie's voice calls out to him, "You don't even know where she is!"
Oliver shakes his head, brandishing a dismissive hand over his shoulder. "I know where she is." He mumbles for only himself to hear.
-
You’d watched close to twenty-one quidditch matches from the stands at the pitch on Hogwarts grounds: played in almost half of them. 
The seat is still slightly too small, just uncomfortable enough to make a person shuffle. Beyond the rim over the other end of the pitch you can see the orange sun dipping behind the horizon, drawing to darkness over your moment alone.
By now you're sure the party in the common room has long since found momentum. The one you'd been promised by the team, "it's your last game, cap, we need to celebrate!". You're sure someone somewhere is looking for you, bracing a plastic cup of Firewhisky with your name on it, but you can't find it within yourself to face it all just yet.
The silence of the evening is enough, you only wish you'd been fast enough to retrieve your broomstick that's somewhere off with Enzo. Just for one last lap.
The serenity of your loneliness doesn't persevere, however. You can hear shuffling up the steps, you're tempted to look but the sunset is slipping so quickly out of your hands that it's not worth the time wasted.
It's only when the footfalls draw closer, stopping when a body slumps into the seat beside you. The seats are so cramped that his knee brushes yours, the figure long since identified from the corner of your eye.
"Come to gloat?" You ask, eyes never leaving the sky.
He shrugs. "Not today."
You nod. His smell drifts on the breeze under your nose, like peppermint and soap and Oliver.
There's a long silence. Your robes crease against the fist sitting in your lap, you've yet to change out of your quidditch uniform, you know it will be the last time.
"You missed dinner."
"Does it matter?"
Despite your avoidant gaze, Oliver's is warming the side of your face. The evening air cools the same spot.
There's a shuffling that finally draws your eyes. Oliver is still in his robes too, and his hand emerges from a deep pocket with a folded napkin square. "Figured you'd be hungry."
He places it onto your lap with a gentleness you're coming to find more of in him. Something frighteningly warm erupts in your chest and your hands come up to it, pulling apart the napkin to find picky bits inside.
You're fighting between smiling and starting to cry. You do neither.
"You carried this in your pocket the whole way from the hall?"
His eyes flicker between the food and your face before he shrugs. "Yeah."
By now, you were fighting a losing battle and the smile pulled up at the ends of your mouth so tightly that your cheeks started to hurt. "Gross."
You pick up a chicken skewer regardless, biting into it and facing the sky again. You offer him the other one and he looks for a moment like he's going to argue but takes it quietly in the end.
The chicken is tender and only after you'd swallowed the first bit did you realise how hungry you'd actually been. You finish it without a word, going to tear the pasty in half and offering a piece to your companion.
You're picking at the roll now, tearing tiny bits off and feeding it piece by piece to yourself like a bird. "Last game."
He nods. "I know."
"What could someone say to you after your last game, Wood?" You pick at him, eyes flittering between him and the now nearly black sky. "You know, to make you feel better?"
Oliver shakes his head, leaning back and rolling his shoulders: as if the thought itself unsettled him.
"Nothing, probably. I'd probably just walk into the Black Lake and drown myself."
You think he's joking, but with Oliver Wood that was hardly a sure thing.
"You wouldn't."
"What's there left to live for?" He says it with an airy chuckle.
Shrugging, your head falls against your shoulder. "You'd have to figure it out, because I'd go marching in right after you. Carry you out if I had to."
Oliver stills, eyes wide and blinking at you. Your chest goes tight, the ghost of a smile pressing at your face.
"Bridal style and everything ..." You add quietly, stifling your chuckle.
He seems to come back to himself, nodding. "We should get back. Been a long day."
The napkin crumples in your hand, shoved down into the depths of your own pocket. You walk ahead, the pathway to the steps is only narrow enough for one person at a time, and he trails behind.
By the time you've hit the steps, Oliver moving down beside you, you're brewing around an apology. A way to thin the air, to ease where your chest is tight: swirling around well done, now you've made things awkward you git. It's halfway up to your tongue when skin brushes against the back of your hand.
Warm fingers explore your knuckles to find your cool ones, slipping to knot between them.
You work not to look down, because Oliver's skittish like that. From the corner of your eye, you can see he's concentrating his gaze ahead.
His hand tightens against yours, palm callous from years wrapped around the wooden handle of his broomstick. It's a little sweaty and sticky but you're smiling so hard you're about to be sick.
You dare to look at him, Oliver's smiling too.
-
Oliver hasn't been sleeping.
His last few days of seventh year are slipping like water through his calloused hands and he can feel it. Every hour that passes, shadowy and fleeting.
Classes feel shorter than before, the terrible jokes Archie bombards him with over dinner sound funnier than he ever remembers them being and the glimpses he catches of you in the corridor never feel long enough. The ceiling of his poster bed flashes with moments of the day that's passed, feeling like a dream you'll be jolted out of as soon as it gets good.
Even over all his hours of broody contemplation, none of it makes the final whistle any easier to swallow. It hits him like he's been smacked with a bludger in the chest.
"Gryffindor has won the quidditch cup, two-hundred and thirty points to twenty!"
He can hear the crowd's roar, the whoops of the twins floating somewhere below him. Harry's standing on the grass of the pitch holding up his tiny golden trophy. The pitch is red all over: Oliver won.
He won.
Every moment building up over the last seven years culminated into the final blow of the whistle. The wind is whipping at the hair over his forehead: Oliver thinks this might be the happiest moment of his life, but he's not entirely sure.
He never realised that it would all be so fucking soaked in sadness.
It's over. He's leaving the castle empty handed. His engraving will live on the Quidditch Cup in a dusty cupboard for years to come, yes, and he might have a frame up in his future apartment somewhere, reminiscing on the old days. That's all.
He's struck with the devastating fear that in a few short years, nobody will remember him. More than anything, he can't believe he hadn't come to this overwhelming conclusion before right now. Before Angelina is yelling to him, waving a frantic hand and sporting the biggest grin in all of Scotland, before he was seconds from taking the prize he's held in his mind for so many years into his very hands.
Will you forget him?
It nearly knocks him off his broom. He finds that it scares him the most, more than the thought of the dust-caked trophy or the lonely corner at the back of his cupboard where his Hogwarts robes will no doubt live until eternity.
He won't forget you, he thinks. He knows.
You're just so damn annoying. And beautiful, fucking whip-clever and hilarious sometimes--
The handle of his broom is tilting down to the earth now, the crowd zooming into a blur on either side of him. He hits a shaky landing, broomstick abandoned on the grass behind him as he's pulled into the arms of his team and well-wishers.
A golden trophy passes over the heads of the twins and it's shoved into his sweating hands. It's cool to the touch and so much heavier than he thought it ever could be, but he can't seem to keep his mind on the situation long enough to realise any of that. His mind is racing around the castle wondering where you might be and what's the fastest way to get there.
His eyes are racing over the heads of the roving crowd. "Wood, Wood! Speech!"
Shadowing over everyone is Archie's tall figure standing at the back, grinning down at him. The team watches expectantly.
This is it. The moment for the speech he's been practicing in his bathroom mirror since he was seven.
"I--" he looks down at the cup for the first time, his face reflecting up at him in glimmering gold. He finds he can't remember any of the words. "I need to go find someone."
There's a buzz of confusion, but Oliver doesn't linger: shoving the Quidditch Cup into Harry's arms.
"That's the shortest speech Wood has ever given." He hears Angelina quip, but he can't be arsed to turn. He's already flying, moving through the crowd at such a pace he might just have been on his broom.
The sea of students had long since started moving up to the castle, particularly the non-gryffindors: trying to beat the stampede of scarlet that is no doubt to come. Oliver's legs carry him over the smooth green hill up towards Hogwarts, head craning over students to find your side profile somewhere in the mass.
He catches few oy, watch it!'s and congrats, Wood!'s but he doesn't turn, doesn't stop running. Students bespeckle the grass like ants lining up for crumbs, and he's all the way up into the stone corridor leading to the Great Hall when he spots Cherry's velvet red curls over the crowd, and sure enough, he finds you're knocking her shoulder with your own.
It only takes one shout of your name and you turn to peek curiously back, by which time he's taken both your shoulders into his hands and steered you to the wall of the corridor.
"Wood! What are you do--"
His hands squeeze around the plush at your upper arms. "Oliver. My name is Oliver."
Your eyes are wide in surprise, the window behind you showcases the gardens and the pitch in the distance. Sunlight forms a halo over the crown of your head.
With a head tilted in confusion, you nod slowly. "Alright ... what are you doing, Oliver?"
He can feel the eyes of Cherry and Enzo burning a hole through the side of his head, but doesn't bother with it. You're blinking up at him, gentle and benign in your features. He wonders when it became like this, when you'd lost the tight brow and the frown every time you looked at him.
"I won the Quidditch Cup." He says blankly.
You nod, a small smile tucked into the corner of your lip. "I saw. Congratulations."
Oliver only nods back at you. "I wanted to tell you. I wanted to come shove it in your face."
He's shuffling closer to your figure, and he's more than pleased to discover that you aren't cowering from it.
"Of course you did, because you're a prat." But you're smiling so hard now that it's impossible to take your jab to heart. "Is that all, Oliver?"
A warm sensation is spilling into his rib cavity and his fingertips are buzzing with electricity when they come to find either side of your face.
"No." His forehead is nearly touching yours and your hands have wrapped around his wrists. "I came to ask you out on a date. A sappy, disgustingly romantic date where I bring you flowers and pay for your hot chocolate. You'd hate it."
"That truly sounds horrible." Your smile is so wide he can barely see the whites of your eyes and it pumps more adrenaline through Oliver than any argument you'd ever shared over the last seven years.
"So, is that a yes?"
You're bouncing on your toes a little bit, bumping your nose against Oliver's clumsily. The babble of passing students and gawking onlookers has practically fallen mute to him.
"Depends, are you going to kiss me goodnight after?" You whisper it, like it's a secret between just you and him.
He nods slowly, "pretty desperate to kiss you right now, if I'm being honest princess--"
You don't wait for him to finish, thank Merlin you don't wait for him to finish, and push up onto your toes: crashing against his mouth. You're kiss is as dizzying as he remembers, but softer this time. You kiss like you know he's not running away, hands pressing softly over his neck.
It's nothing like your kiss outside the Ravenclaw common room: where that one was desperate and hot and angry, this time it's born from longing and tenderness and acceptance.
It leaves him just as fucking breathless as the first time.
Somewhere behind him, he hears wolf-whistling (he's sure it's Cherry) and when you pull your lips off his, your face is flush with embarrassment.
"I will go on a date with you, Oliver."
He takes your hand into his, curling his fingers between your own. You lean up to peck him softly and bat your eyelashes at him, grinning innocuously when you whisper: "If you treat me like you did with Delilah, I'm throwing your broomstick into the fireplace."
-
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arwkeo · 8 months ago
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CAN'T CONTROL IT
pairing: Franco Colapinto x Fem! Driver! Reader
word count: 739
just something a little short and sweet for franco colapinto. also i think the can't control their mouth and can't control their face would suit him well?! idk bro
The F1 social media team had a new favorite hobby: catching YN's reactions to everything Franco Colapinto did.
It started during pre-season testing in Bahrain. Franco, fresh in his Williams racing suit, had spun on his installation lap – a rookie mistake that had the paddock chuckling. The TV director, whether by instinct or divine intervention, cut immediately to YN in the Alpine garage.
Her expression was poetry in motion: eyes rolling skyward, lips pressed together to suppress a smile, followed by a head shake that somehow conveyed both "I can't believe this" and "that's my idiot" in one fluid movement.
The clip went viral within hours.
"Have you seen this?" Franco bounded into the Alpine hospitality area, phone already extended. "'Every Time YN Dies Inside Watching Franco Colapinto: Testing Edition' – they even put sad violin music over your faces!"
YN didn't need to look. She'd already seen the compilation – a masterfully edited collection of her various reactions to Franco's testing adventures. Her personal favorite was the slow-motion zoom on her face when he'd described his first F1 car as "spicy."
"I'm starting to think you do these things on purpose," she muttered, but her treacherous face was already softening at his enthusiasm.
"Maybe I just like seeing your reactions," he winked, dropping into the seat beside her. "Remember in F3 when you said your face wasn't that expressive?"
"Remember in F2 when you said you'd learned to think before speaking?"
His laugh echoed through the hospitality area. "Some things never change, no?"
The Australian GP brought new material for the ever-growing collection of "YN Can't Control Her Face" content. As Alpine's reserve driver, she was in the garage when Franco scored his first F1 points – a remarkable P8 in a chaotic race.
His radio message was pure, unfiltered Franco: "P8! P8! YN, are you watching? Better than that time in F2 when you said I'd never score points because I was too busy talking!"
The cameras found her instantly: pride blooming across her features before she could school them into professional neutrality.
"Every time they show your face, the comments explode," Esteban teased later. "I think you've got more screen time than some of the actual drivers."
YN groaned. "Don't remind me. Someone made a TikTok trend out of my different 'Franco Reactions.'"
"At least you're not 'Can't Control His Mouth' Colapinto," Pierre chimed in. "Did you hear him in the press pen? He spent five minutes explaining how you once bet him he couldn't qualify top 10 without talking on team radio."
"Did he mention he lost that bet?"
"No, but your face when they asked you about it said everything."
Monaco was where things reached new heights. Franco, running in P6 during practice, had been providing commentary that somehow always circled back to YN:
"YN's watching, no? Tell her this is how you take the hairpin properly—" Franco spoke through team radio confidently before scraping through the hairpin.  "Ah. Maybe not like that."
The camera cuts to YN's perfect face-palm, followed by a head shake that somehow conveyed both "I knew it" and "why am I even surprised" in one swift motion.
The resulting clip went viral on Tiktok and became F1's most-watched social media post of the weekend.
"You know what I think?" Franco asked one evening, as they shared takeaway in the quiet of the paddock after everyone else had left. The cameras were finally off, but YN's face was as expressive as ever in the dim light.
"That's a dangerous start to any conversation with you."
He grinned, nudging her shoulder. "I think you like that I can't control my mouth."
"And what makes you say that?" she asked, trying and failing to keep her expression neutral.
"Because every time I talk about you, you make this face – like you're trying not to smile but can't help it. It's my favorite one."
"I do not have a special face for when you talk about me."
"Si, you do! You're making it right now!"
She threw a napkin at him, but her smile – soft and genuine and completely uncontrolled – gave her away.
The next day, during the drivers' briefing, Alex caught Franco staring at YN with an expression that mirrored all of hers – soft and fond and entirely unguarded.
The photo went viral with the caption: "Looks like neither of them can control anything anymore 💕"
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pedriscroquettes · 2 months ago
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𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐀 ꕥ OP81
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summary. a certain aussie seems to be there to pick up the pieces of your dying relationship.
warnings. lando is an asshole, man eater!reader, toxic relationship, cheating, smut, pnv, fingering, just straight up dirty, alcohol usage, and unreliable narrator. 18+
a/n. loosely based off purple lace bra by tate mcrae but then trails off. let’s ignore the fact that i’ve been working on this since the china grand prix and had to edit the racing parts multiple times.
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THE CHEAP PERFUME filled your hotel room as Lando walked in. You’re already used to his behavior, you don’t even flinch. But internally you’re a mess. He was so sweet when you first met him back when he was at Surrey and most nights you stay up wondering what went wrong. There was a point where you blamed yourself and spent countless nights crying yourself to bed. But when you realized that he would just watch you cry over him and not do anything to help you stopped caring. You were waiting for him to self destruct at this point.
You knew where he’d been all night. The loud edm music replaying in your head as you remember. Carlos still had you on his close friends and you’d wondered if he had just forgotten or done it on purpose. It doesn’t matter really, not when most of the videos are of Lando with his hands wrapped around someone new every weekend.
The room is silent, the tension so high you could cut it with a knife. You’re lying down facing the wall hoping he thinks you’re asleep. Unfortunately, after eight years of dating and even while drunk he knows you too well. It’s funny really the way he will openly cheat on you but behind closed doors the guilt eats him. The bed dips as he sits down next to you.
“I’m sorry.” He sighs.
“No, you’re not.” You respond.
There’s a brief silence, your answer adding onto Lando’s guilt. He just stares at you dumbfounded as if he’s the one suffering. He lets out a loud sigh as he rubs his hands through his face, trying to figure out what excuse to use this time. He doesn’t seem to come up with one because you feel his hand begin to trail up your leg.
“Don’t touch me.” You sit up. “Not after you’ve been with another woman.”
“Oh, for fucks sake.” He almost chuckles at your words. “You act all hurt but you were the one who stayed-”
The sound of your hand hitting his cheek is loud enough to be heard outside the room. Your hand shakes mid-air and you don’t know if it’s because of what the Brit said or if you’re surprised at your actions. Either way it gets him to shut up. You knew for certain that you didn’t want to hear the end of his sentence. At least that’s the excuse you come up with. In reality it was for the humiliation he had been causing you as of late. He deserved it.
Quickly you get up from the king sized bed, careful to not run into the food service cart you called in earlier. The chocolate cake you never ate stares back at you as you figure out what to do. You hear shuffling behind you and eventually Lando’s presence can be felt behind you. You already know the “I will never do it again” gimmick is about to fly out of his mouth.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Please, let’s just go to bed.” He pleads.
“I’m gonna go out for a smoke.” You speak barely above a whisper.
You fiddle with your fingers as you regain your composure, your actions shocking you. You’re not in the right headspace he says as his chest presses against your back. You almost laugh at his antics. It was always the same. He’d come home smelling like another woman, he’d apologize, and you would forgive him, but you were tired. You couldn’t hold onto the idea that Lando would go back to being your Lando. It wasn’t going to happen, not anytime soon at least.
“I’m going for a smoke.” You state again.
You slide past his tense body as you make your way towards the nearest exit. The door slams behind you as you try to get far away from him. A couple of tears slip past your eyelids as you make your way towards the balcony. The same balcony you’d been spending your last couple of nights while Lando was somewhere else having the time of his life. Because, God forbid a man stays loyal in a relationship.
The balcony has a perfect view of the dimly lit courtyard down below. You stand near the railing admiring the view and scattered chatter of the few guests still awake at these hours. Although, they all seemed happy which is something you hadn’t experienced for a while on grand prix weekends. You sighed as you rummaged your robe for the Marlboro cigarettes you’d sneaked into your luggage.
“Can’t sleep?” You jump at the voice with no face.
The brunette emerges from the shadows and you recognize his face almost instantly. Oscar Piastri. The man who was mere points away from taking your boyfriend’s number one driver spot at McLaren. You’d never talked to him hell even interacted with him once in all this years. Now here he was in the flesh, catching you in one of your most vulnerable moments.
“Shit, you scared me.” You gasp holding your hand to your chest. Always into theatrics.
“I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.” He raises his hands up trying to prove his innocence.
The two of you laugh it off as he approaches you. His brown eyes glare into yours as he studies you. He had this thing where he liked to guess people’s backstories simply by looking at them. His ex told him it was creepy and for a moment he tried to get rid of the habit but then they broke up. You can see the gears turning in his head as he reads you. You’re sure he can see the tears in your eyes but he doesn’t say anything about them.
“Fuck, I forgot my lighter.” You sigh, frustrated.
“Here.” He takes one out of his pocket.
You brush his fingers lightly as you take it from him. You murmur a quick thanks in the process before drawing your eyes back to the courtyard. The various murals and statues help you relax. Oddly enough so does the presence of the Aussie.
“Why do you have a lighter?” You ask the brunette.
“I’m a pyromaniac.” He shrugs.
“A driver with humor… how rare.” You indulge in his joke.
“What? Your boyfriend isn’t funny?” He tilts his head trying to read your face.
“Only in public.” You shrug.
“Hmm.” You can hear the judgment in his hum.
“What?” You ask tentatively noticing his change in demeanor.
“I’m not too fond of your boyfriend.” The Aussie grins.
“Yeah, me neither.” You try to whisper but when you notice Oscar’s amused grin you realize how loud you’ve said it. Not that you minded.
“Any particular reason?” He decides to test his luck.
The click of the lighter as you light the cigarette can be heard across the hallway. Your acrylic nails stick out to the driver. He catches how they’re orange and how one even his Lando’s number on it.
You take the lit cigarette and pull it close to your lips, staining it a dark hue of red as you’d forgotten to take your makeup off. Taking a deep, satisfying draw, the smoke slowly filled your lungs as you debated on spilling Lando’s secrets. Or so you thought.
While Oscar may not have been on Carlos close friends, he was certainly on Lando’s spam. A secret account he knew for sure you weren’t on, he’s checked. He knew too much about Lando’s private life and it annoyed him. But most of all it made him irritated that Lando had you waiting for him after every race yet he still cheated.
“Curiosity killed the cat.” You give him a sly smile.
“I’ve got nine lives left.” He jokes.
“Why aren’t you fond of my boyfriend?” You turn the question towards him.
“Fair enough.” Oscar replies. He had already overstepped his boundaries and he didn’t want to go any further.
“It’s just-” He starts
He’s not sure he should be telling you this. He wanted to be honest after all that’s how he was raised. To always tell the truth but he hated the melancholy on your face. Lando was truly out of his damn mind to have you feeling like this.
“I don’t see why Lando would treat you like that.” He shrugs. “You’re too good for him.”
“Well, he wasn’t always like that.” Your tone changes.
“If it’s any consolation my last breakup ended after I got cheated on.” He tries to comfort you.
“I guess we’re not that different, you and I. Well, you’re a talented driver and I’m just the girlfriend of a Formula 1 Driver.” You take a draw of your cigarette again.
You throw the cigarette on the ground making sure to stomp on it. The last thing you needed was to start a fire. You pick it up of course to throw it away on your way back, you’re not a monster. The lively chatter from the courtyard had died down and the hallway lights had dimmed indicating how late it was. You take that as your cue to leave. After all the guy in front of you had Qualifying and you didn’t want to be the reason he ran late.
“It was nice talking to you Osc. I really needed it.” You offer him a genuine smile. “I should head back though. Lan is probably waiting for me.”
The nickname has him look at you, like really look at you. He analyzes your eyes, your hair. and the way your lips curl into a mischievous expression with every word you say. It’s the first time he’s actually noticed you. A shiver runs down his spine as he realizes how jealous he is of his teammate right now. Not just jealous but angry because, how could he possibly cheat on you when you were the prettiest thing his eyes had ever laid eyes on.
“See you at qualifying.” He says.
You offer him a last smile before stepping away from him. He laughs to himself wondering how much longer until you gave up on Lando. Then he remembers his lighter, the lighter he uses every once in a while when the season gets rough. It was only three or four cigarettes a year he imagined it wouldn’t hurt. Swiftly he turns around hoping to stop you before you go far and he spots you. But he stops in his tracks before he can run after you.
Oscar’s breath hitches as he realizes you’ve been talking to him in lingerie this whole time. Your see through robe leaving very little to the imagination as you walk towards your room. Suddenly, the temperature changes around him and the only thing he feels is the sweat dripping down his neck. He was disappointed and subtly disgusted in himself. You’d spent the last hour telling him all your life troubles, venting to him, trusting him and his dick was getting hard. It was official. The sport had ruined all sense of morality he had left.
“Fuck me.” He murmurs to himself.
The next time Oscar sees you there’s a nuisance following right behind you. It’s very obvious when Lando’s trying to beg you for his forgiveness, he always trails after you like a sick puppy. Like he’s the victim and you’re the mean guy. It completely pisses off the Aussie so much so that when he secures a higher place on the grid than the Brit he doesn’t even offer his teammate any consolation. After all they were just teammates, not brothers, not friends, hell not even acquaintances. Just teammates for pay.
You dress modestly due to this week’s racing venue but somehow it makes Oscar’s brain go haywire. Mostly because he’s wondering what set you have hiding under your long dress. The hot weather of Bahrain doesn’t help him either and he forces his eyes off you, not wanting to make his growing crush on you obvious. It was utterly absurd how much you consumed his thoughts now when a week ago he didn’t even acknowledge your presence.
“So, where we going after the race?” His friend asks him. “Mate, are you even listening?”
“Hmm?” Oscar massages his temple as he watches you strut away.
“Where’s your head at mate?” His friend stares at him all confused. He’d never seen the Aussie so distracted.
“On the race. Which is why I’m not going out tonight. Save the party for next week.” Oscar replies.
-
Lando and you are lucky you haven’t gotten a noise complaint yet due to all the yelling. Carlos has invited him to another party the night before the race. You try to reason with him that he needs to be at his best for tomorrow’s race. You bring up the championship and how he can’t afford another slip off if he wants to end the season a winner.
“Why don’t you come with then?” Lando suggests. “We’ll only be there an hour or two and that way we can unwind for a bit.”
“Are you serious?” You ask him incredulously. “It’s almost midnight.”
“I don’t get you. I am trying to make amends here.” Lando’s tone changes.
“Oh, so I’m in the wrong here?” You scoff. “I’m sorry for looking out for you.”
“Oh, piss off. You act like you’re above everyone else but here you are.” He scorns.
“What is that supposed to mean?” You ask.
“It means that you can’t live without me. You’re always complaining about me about what I do trying to dictate everything I do yet you haven’t left.” He replies.
There’s a an awkward pause and you hope that he’ll take back what he says. But as the seconds go by you realize that all he wanted was the final say. Tears form in your eyes and you look at him with hurt, you don’t even know who he is anymore. As opposed to Lando who can only give you a glare wondering if Carlos would be pissed that he’d be late.
“Okay.” You finally spit out.
Lando only chuckles and shakes his head before he storms away. You can only stand there as you watch him walk away not just from you but your relationship. It’s all a blur as the cold air begins to make you shiver, after all the Brit left you standing in the middle of the hotel hallway with nothing but a lace slip dress on and some heels you were desperate to take off.
Unbeknownst to you the other Formula 1 Driver had overheard your entire conversation from his room. He was never one to eavesdrop but as soon as he heard your voice his morals escaped him. Concern filled him as he heard Lando’s vile words and he wasted no time in looking for you after the yells ended.
“Where’s Norris?” Oscar asks you.
“Who the fuck knows.” Your hands rub your forehead as you think about the fit your boyfriend threw earlier. He was probably down another girl’s throat right now.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s not my business.” His cheeks turn pink.
“No, Osc it’s not your fault. Sorry, I’m just frustrated.” You try to comfort him. “You got any wine?”
Not even an hour later and you find out Oscar had moved to the UK at a young age, his parents divorced when he was young, and his favorite food was carbonara. A couple of drinks and you also air out some of your business. His eyes go wide when you tell him that it was actually your classmate that had originally asked Lando out but you’d caught his eye. That’s how you ended up here all because you were curious about the kid with curls and tan skin.
Two drinks later and the two of you are laughing away at the Aussie’s corny jokes. Then there’s a brief silence after one of his anecdotes and the two of you find yourselves in some sort of a staring contest. The air shifts. The intensity of his stare has you looking at him a different way. Maybe it was the alcohol or your resentment towards your boyfriend, but Oscar was somehow becoming more appealing. You barely knew him yet he had all the traits Lando has lost over the years.
“I wish I could kiss you.” His brown eyes grow wide as he realizes what he’s said.
“I didn’t mean- I meant-” He starts rambling.
“Yeah? Why don’t you kiss me then?” Your big doe eyes beg him to do something, anything.
He wastes no time and his hand wraps around your jaw as he brings you in for a sloppy yet passionate kiss. His lips move against yours in synch and you can feel him grow hard against you. It’s like being a school girl again and sneaking out to meet the guy no one knew you were hooking up with. His kisses begin to trail downwards and you find your legs opening to allow him closer to your body.
Your red bottom heels press against his forehead as you hold him back. You let out a chuckle recalling the time you did it to Lando. Oscar grunts at your actions, he has a perfectly good view of your panties at this angle and he can’t do anything about it. It drives him crazy and you can see it in the way he claws at the carpet underneath him.
“Fucking hell.” He grunts.
“I have a boyfriend.” You gasp, finally aware of what you’d just done.
You drop your heel from his forehead as your sobriety comes back. Oscar visibly winces as he drops on the ground. He can’t help the groan that escapes him as you change your mind. He can only sit back and watch as you panic in front of him, his hard on straining against his sweatpants. It’s absolutely killing him.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper before kissing him on the cheek.
“Oh, and you should really take care of that.” You point towards his crotch before leaving the room.
The race ended over two hours ago and now Lando was spending the car ride to the hotel whining about it not going his way. It was funny really the way he would be so nonchalant to the press but suffering behind closed doors. You’re currently in his drivers room listening to his endless ranting about the car, the strategy, and most of all how Oscar was beginning to overshadow him. You were tired and honestly after his words from last night you felt like giving him a taste of his own medicine.
“How pathetic. You couldn’t even make it on the podium.” You say with distaste. “I told you to not go partying.”
“My fault that I didn’t win then.” He replies sarcastically.
“Actually yeah it is.” You scold him. “Oscar has the same car and he won the race.”
The look on his face is of shock but mostly anger. You knew how sensitive he was to this specific topic. The topic being that he was worried about his standing on the team. You stand there in the middle of his driver’s room trying to hold your ground but after all those years together Lando knows you’re bluffing. You don’t break though and instead continue with your antics until he’s tired of them.
“The car will take you back to the hotel.” He sighs. “Don’t wait up on me.”
Not soon after he’s stormed off you pick up your bag not wanting to cause a scene here. After all there were cameras everywhere and the last thing you needed was to be on every gossip page. You preferred to remain private, it was extremely refreshing, and allowed you to roam freely across the host cities. Although, you’re too distracted to even notice where you’re going not until you run straight into someone’s chest.
“I’m so sorry.” You say.
“It’s fine.” You recognize the accent almost immediately. “You okay?”
You look up to see Oscar looking at you with a concerned look. His cheeks a light shade of red and you realize he’s still recovering from the race.
“Wait.” You speak up. “Do you think you can come back with me to the hotel?”
He knows he should say no especially after last night’s events but the look on your face. Your eyes are basically pleading for him to say yes. He also recalls seeing Lando angrily walk through the paddock not too long ago and seeing your state he imagines what’s happened. Also, he couldn’t just leave you all alone and obviously distraught.
“Yeah. I just need to get some things and then we can leave.” He nods.
You wait for him patiently as he quickly goes back to his driver room. He doesn’t take more than five minutes before he’s back with a sports bag in his hand. The drive back is short and silent, the two of you too afraid to say anything. Oscar was trying his best to not bring up last night but seeing you again so soon was messing with his brain. Out of respect he keeps his mouth shut.
Oscar ever the gentleman helps you out of the car and into your room. He looks around noticing Lando’s pile of clothes on the floor. He also notices how organized your desk is as opposed to what he assumes is your boyfriend’s side of the room. While he continues to analyze the room you take off the heels and let out a sigh of relief at the feel of your feet being free.
“Well, I should go.” He pats his pants. “Good Night.”
He’s halfway towards the door when you rush towards him. You grab his arm urging him to look at you. His eyes are soft and endearing as he senses the warmth in your eyes. He felt like a little boy with a school crush. You were absolutely breathtaking.
“Don’t go.” You whisper.
“Are you sure?” He asks.
You knew it was wrong that you shouldn’t go as low as Lando but it didn’t feel wrong. For once you put yourself first and you don’t hesitate to pull in Oscar for a kiss. It’s sweet and gentle and for a second he rests his forehead against yours. Though, that doesn’t last long because the kiss seems to resurface yesterday’s conversation and when he kisses you again it’s with fervor. In only seconds your hands are in his hair and his hands are gripping your waist. Quickly, you lead him towards the bed.
His hands trail your body exploring parts he’s never touched before. He grabs your hair into a makeshift ponytail which causes a shiver to run down your spine at the exposure. His lips hover over your neck and before you know it he’s leaving kisses all over the exposed skin. You can feel your body temperature sky rocket as he explores you and while it feels nice you really need him to do something, anything.
“Osc, I need you.” You whine.
You take the risk and take his hand and drag it further down your body. You’re fortunate you decided to wear a dress to tonight’s race and that allows easy access. You can see Oscar get visibly flustered as he realizes what you’re trying to do. You wait a few seconds in case he’s changed his mind before dragging his hand under your dress. He feels the fabric of your panties first and manages to sneak a peek at them. Purple. He almost moans at the thought of you wearing a matching set. It takes him a minute to notice that you’re soaked. You’re practically dripping. You move your panties out of the way and he’s finally able to feel just how turned on you are for him.
“I’m so wet for you.” You mewl seductively.
“Fuck.” He groans.
Somehow Oscar gains the confidence to move his fingers through your folds. You almost close your legs on his hands as he begins to work your cunt. His thumb comes in contact with your clit and you can’t help the illicit moans that escape you. He’s making you feel good in all the right places and he has to bring in his other hand you hold you down. He recalls last night and decides it’s his opportunity to taste you. Soon, his fingers are replaced with his tongue and you let out the most vulgar words at the feeling.
“Osc, oh my.” You gasp.
Your legs wrap around his shoulders as he laps your cunt like a man starved. Oscar had watched plenty of porn before but as he hears your graphic moans he knows that this is better than porn. The way you grind against his face makes him feel good about himself and he decides to take a risk. He brings two fingers to your cunt running them through your folds before dragging them to your hole.
You feel the intrusion and bring your hand down to his wrist helping him guide them inside you. He starts off with a slow pace and you’re sure you can feel his fingers so deep inside of you.
“So close.” You whine.
Oscar speeds up his ministrations at that and you can feel his fingers repeatedly rubbing your sensitive spot. You’re not sure how much longer you’ll last. Then, he curls them inside of you and you feel the room go dizzy as you reach your peak. Your walls squeeze against his fingers and he smirks at your reaction.
“Was that good?” He asks out of breath.
You laugh at that. You can’t remember the last time you had ever felt like that. You look up to him and see his pink cheeks and pull him down for a kiss. Your hands running through his hair as you taste yourself on him. He pulls away taking in your fucked out state. He really wishes he could take a picture but instead he’ll remind himself to never forget this.
You take the opportunity and turn the two of you over, straddling him taking him by surprise. Your actions only turn him on more and you can feel him get hard under you. You lean down kissing him before feeling his hands reach for your zipper. You help him out and unzip your dress and Oscar is finally able to see the set you were hiding. Oscar feels like he’s in heaven. A purple lace bra to accompany your purple lace panties. He had to be the luckiest man alive.
“Oh, fuck.” Oscar groans.
You’re not even fully naked and Oscar feels completely flustered. You can’t wait any longer and move your panties to the side. He admires you from below as you sink down on his cock. A gasp escapes the both of you as he enters you, slowly. Your hands immediately wrap around his shoulders as he fills you completely. You faintly feel his forehead lean against your chest.
“Feel so full Osc.” You moan.
“Yeah?” He groans.
You push him down against the mattress admiring his toned body from above. You remember meeting him all those years ago when he first joined McLaren and he wasn’t the same guy. He was no longer scrawny and skinny. He was built and had a six pack forming. It was certainly the sight and you were getting impatient. You pull up until just the tip is inside of you before slamming back down taking all of him.
“Yeah. So full.” You moan.
Your palms push against his chest as you begin your movements. Your hips move in circles as you ride him. The Aussie can only watch in awe as you fuck him and your titties bunch with every thrust. His hands wrap around your waist instinctively as he notices your movements slowing down. He fills you up perfectly but you’re not so sure how much longer you can remain on top. You’re going so slow when Oscar takes over.
He holds you tight against him as he thrusts up into you. It’s a slow pace at first but the moans of his name seem to egg him on. The pace changes almost instantly and soon enough he’s rutting into you. It’s dirty, rough, intense, it was everything Oscar wasn’t at least in public. Your nails dig into his shoulder blades as he splits you open. Your walls squeeze him as your climax approaches and Oscar only speeds up. It’s all too much for you. A couple of thrusts later and you’re coming around his dick, coating him with slick.
“Fuck.” You sigh.
“Fucking hell. I’m so close.” Oscar grunts.
Oscar was bad at making decisions but he wasn’t entirely stupid. He pulls out as he feels his climax approaching. You watch as thick ropes of cum land on your stomach. Both of you are out of breath and you can hear the both of you panting. It’s almost like a scene out of a porno. You look up and notice that he’s already looking at you. You reach up and grab his jaw bring him in for a final kiss.
“I think I like you.” Oscar whispers like it’s a secret.
“I know.”
Almost as if on purpose your phone rings and you lean over the brunette to reach for it. The exposure of your phone lights up the dark room and you can’t help the grin that forms on your face as you read the notification. You quickly shut off your phone before you scoot back into bed with Oscar.
Lan 🧡
Can I come back yet?
-
You’re barely out of the shower when you hear the click of the hotel room door indicating your boyfriends arrival. Your white robe somewhat wet and drops of water rolling down your legs. It’s nice for once that Lando is back before midnight. He adorns a huge smirk on his face and your appearance only makes it larger. His plan has worked he decides.
“Did it work?” Lando asks.
You can’t help but roll your eyes at his disheveled appearance. He reeks of alcohol and weed and you recall his story where Carlos sprayed Champagne all over him. His curls were soaked and out of place, his shirt was unbuttoned, and hell even his socks were mismatched. Seriously, you wouldn’t even be able to tell that he’s a professional athlete.
“You stink.” You say with disgust.
The Brit only laughs and proceeds to walk towards you. You feel the bed dip as he slowly crawls to your lap. He kicks his shoes off before they can get on the sheets. It reminded you of your Uni days when he would surprise you at your loft after midnight. He lets out a sigh of relief as he lays in your lap as if you were his saving grace. In a way you were though. He couldn’t have made it this far in his career without you. He knew that.
“Did it work?” Lando asks again.
Your hands massage through his curls as he lays on your lap, enjoying the soft mewls that leave his lips. You wouldn’t think that he’d be able to pull off his asshole act. Your hand locks with his as he awaits your answer.
“He was practically worshipping me.” You hum. “He also hates you a lot. I think it worked.”
“I love you.” He mumbles.
“I know.”
853 notes · View notes
papayainsectorone · 1 month ago
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us in another universe
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summary: us in another universe until it´s us in every universe, some texts some stories
content: established relationship, soft domestic vibes, emotional drunk!lando, long-distance tenderness, mutual pining, silly metaphors, offscreen implied smut, soft angst & even softer comfort, voicemail-induced tears, lando is so in love it’s embarrassing, smau, pregnancy
word count: 2.1k + texts
pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
a´s masterlist
It’s a Thursday. A quiet one.
The sun is out but lazy, casting a soft glow that makes everything look a little sleepier than it is. You’re walking home from grabbing coffee, one hand wrapped around the paper cup.
That’s when you see them.
Two cows. Big, soft, impossibly round. They’re poking their heads over a hedge like they’ve just been caught mid-gossip, and you laugh out loud—just once, just quietly. It’s such a you and Lando thing. The way one looks half-asleep and the other looks like it knows all your secrets.
You snap the photo and open your messages.
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You pause on his contact photo and smile. It’s stupid, and cozy, and weirdly poetic—just like the two of you. The silence between you never feels empty. It's always filled with this: warm, familiar nonsense. Love in its goofiest, truest form.
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It’s late. Too late to be awake, too early to sleep.
You’re curled up on the couch in a hoodie that still smells a little like him—clean laundry and a trace of his cologne, worn into the fabric over time. The TV’s playing something you’re not really watching. Your thumb’s on autopilot, scrolling TikTok in a slow, mindless rhythm.
Most of your feed is the usual chaos: people dancing, chaotic memes, a girl crying over a pasta recipe. And then—
You stop.
It’s a video of two otters. One is floating on its back, arms slightly spread. The other drifts beside it, belly-down, bumping gently against its side every so often. The caption reads:
“us in another universe 🦦💤” Soft piano music plays in the background. No voiceover. No edits. Just… floating.
You watch it twice. Then three times. And then you save it and swipe into your messages.
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The screen glows against your chest for a few minutes more, warmth bleeding through glass and hoodie fabric, until you drift off to sleep
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You wake up to your phone buzzing violently against your nightstand.
6:12 a.m.
You groan, roll over, and grab it blindly. The screen lights up with six missed calls, all from Lando. One voicemail. And a stream of texts so long you can’t see the beginning without scrolling up.
You blink the sleep from your eyes and open them. Immediately, you can tell: he’s drunk. Not tragic drunk. Not messy. Just that loose-limbed, champagne-dizzy, race-win-high version of Lando who gets emotional at hotel room lamps and texts like his thumbs forgot grammar.
You scroll up.
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The typing bubble appears.
Then disappears.
Then your phone lights up.
Incoming Call
You answer without thinking, still curled in bed, the sheets tangled around your legs.
His voice comes through sleepy and low, just this side of slurred. “Baaaaby…”
You smile instantly. “Hi, you emotional drunk baby.” “I miss you. Like, a lot. Like… my heart’s doing a little sad tappy dance in my chest.” “A sad tappy dance?” “Yeah. Like… it’s happy we won but it’s mad you’re not here. I hugged my engineer and almost cried. That’s where I’m at emotionally.” “Oh no. You are gone.” “I saw the bottles and they were leaning on each other and I just—” (his voice cracks a little, then laughs softly) “—I was like, oh my god, that’s us. That’s literally us.” “You’re so stupid.” “But like… in a romantic way?” “Yeah. In the ‘I love you more than anything on earth’ kind of way.”
There’s a pause. You can hear him exhale on the other end. “I want to be home. I want to wake up and make you tea and kiss your knee for no reason.” “That’s weirdly specific.” “I love all your parts. Your knees. Your elbows. Your everything.” “You’re not gonna remember saying that.” “I’m gonna remember feeling it.”
Another pause. This one quieter. His breathing slows a little. “Three more sleeps, yeah?” “Yeah. Three more.” “I’m counting. I keep doing it wrong though. I’m very bad at math when I miss you.” “You’ll be here before you know it.” “Will you tackle me at the door?” “Absolutely.” “Good. 'Cause I need you. Like… stupid much.” “I need you too, bottle boy.” “M’gonna dream of you now.” “Do it. I’ll meet you there.”
The call lingers for a second longer before it ends—softly, quietly. You press your phone to your chest, heart full, breath steady.
Even when he's miles away, he still feels like home.
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The day is slow. Grey, with a hint of rain that never really falls — just hovers, clinging to the windows like it's waiting for permission.
You're halfway through folding laundry when your hands tug one of his hoodies from the tangle of sheets. It’s soft and worn, the kind he’s had for years — navy blue, with a stretched-out cuff and that faint, comforting scent of the fabric softener he swears by. “Elite tier,” he told you once, completely serious, holding the bottle like it was vintage wine in the middle of the store.
You hug the hoodie to your chest and breathe in.
It’s been a quiet week.
Not distant — just full. The kind of full where texts get shorter and calls get postponed, not out of neglect but because life has teeth sometimes. You’ve both been busy, the sort of busy that scratches at the edges of connection without really breaking it.
You don’t feel unloved. Just… in between.
And you miss him. Not the FaceTime Lando or the string of texts between meetings or even the trackside photos he sends you with a cheeky caption. You miss the quiet of him.
The brush of his hand across your back in the kitchen. His nose, cool and nuzzling behind your ear when you brush your teeth side by side. His feet, cold and shamelessly intertwined with yours under the blanket on early mornings.
You carry the folded laundry to the bedroom, moving in autopilot, until something soft catches your eye.
The bear and the bunny.
They’re sitting right where you left them on the bed — the stuffed animals he bought you one rainy afternoon while you were out running errands. He spotted them in a shop window and dragged you inside, grinning as he picked them up with zero shame.
“This is us,” he’d said. “Obviously. You’re the bunny — all sweet and cute — and I’m the bear. A bit stupid, but loyal.”
Now they sit slightly apart, the way they shifted when you last made the bed. Without thinking, you reach out and nudge them together — bunny leaning into bear, bear tilted like it’s been standing guard all night.
It tugs at something in your chest. That quiet ache of longing.
You grab your phone and snap a photo.
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You’re mid-email, half-listening to a podcast, when your phone buzzes.
Then again.
Then three times more in a row.
You frown, check the notifications.
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The picture comes in just as your gate is called.
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The weekend is a blur of engine roars, sun glare, press pens, and half-bitten fingernails.
The qualifying session ends late. You’re still half-hyped from his lap time, lingering around the back of the paddock, the buzz in the air clinging to your skin.
He finds you by the garages, sweat-streaked and smiling, and without a word you both start walking—holding hands.
The paddock’s mostly empty now. Quiet. The hum of distant deconstruction. You cut through the far edge of the lot when you both spot them:
Two traffic cones.
Lando stops, smirks, and looks at you like he’s about to cause a problem.
“Don’t,” you warn, already grinning.
“Oh, I’m going full conehead,” he declares, picking one up and placing it proudly on his head like a crooked crown.
You double over laughing, then pick up the second one. “Fine. But if we get yelled at, you’re doing all the explaining.”
Now you’re both wearing cones like royal headgear, giggling like actual children, wobbling toward each other in your ridiculous plastic hats.
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He bumps your cone gently with his own. “This is the peak of our relationship.”
You tip yours off, toss it aside, and grab the collar of his hoodie. “Wrong. This is.”
You kiss him. Or maybe he kisses you. Either way, it’s easy—hot breath, eager mouths, the kind of kiss that builds fast, hungry from all the time apart.
His hands slide under your jacket, over your waist, warm and firm. Your arms lock around his shoulders, pulling him in until you’re chest-to-chest, his leg sliding between yours, hips pressed close.
The cones are long forgotten.
He groans softly into your mouth when you grind down against him.
“Fuck,” he breathes, lips brushing your jaw, then your ear. “We should probably—go.”
You nod without even opening your eyes, already curling your fingers in the fabric at his back.
“Yes. Yes. Let’s go.”
He grabs your hand.
You leave the cones tipped over in the gravel, like they knew they were just the opening act.
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The season rolls on, race by race, month by month. Sometimes you fly out to be with him. Other times, you stay home, wrapped in your own routines, your own quiet.
It’s been a few weeks since you last saw each other. You’ve been feeling off — sluggish, tired in a way that’s not just the jet lag or the stress. Some mornings have been harder than others, and you find yourself waking up with nausea, barely able to keep anything down. But you don’t say much.
One morning, when the sun is just up and setting in streaks of pink and gold, your phone buzzes.
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You put your phone down, the simple blobs still glowing softly on the screen.
Holding hands. Even through distance. Even through the quiet.
Then, that’s when the nausea kicks in again.
You sprint to the bathroom, clutching the sink, and decide right there and then—it’s time to see a doctor.
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The doctor’s words still echo in your mind, soft but undeniable. You’re in shock, still processing everything. It’s weeks until Lando comes home, and the thought of holding this secret any longer feels unbearable. Tears come easily now — just thinking about it has your chest tightening.
You grab your phone, heart pounding, and dial his number. It rings. Rings. Then goes to voicemail.
You sigh, remembering how his phone is probably tucked away somewhere in the garage during the weekend. You let it go.
But you can’t wait.
You find the picture you saved earlier: two ducks and a tiny duckling nestled between them.
You send it.
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Your phone rings. It’s him.
You answer immediately, voice shaky.
On the other end, you can hear the background noise—voices calling his name, the distant rush of the paddock, the buzz of people moving. But Lando doesn’t care.
His voice breaks the second he hears you.
“I’m missing a meeting right now,” he says, “but I had to call. I couldn’t wait one second longer.”
You try to hold back tears but fail.
“You’re serious?” he asks, voice cracking. “I’m going to be a dad?”
“Yes,” you whisper.
“Fuck I’m crying so hard,” he laughs, “I’m so happy.”
You laugh softly too, the sound breaking through the tension like sunlight.
“I’m crying too,” you whisper.
There’s a pause, filled with unspoken words and the weight of everything.
“Are you okay? How do you feel?”
You sniffle, voice trembling, “Scared. But happy. So happy.”
He breathes deeply.
“I want to be there so badly. I want to hold you.”
“I want you here,” you say, voice small.
“Soon. Soon I’ll be home and I’ll never let you go.”
You laugh through the tears.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
You both just hold the call open, speaking softly about little things, the future, your hopes. His voice is a warm anchor in the storm of emotions.
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you too.”
The paddock calls him again, but this time he stays on the line a moment longer, just to hear you breathe.
Lando’s voice trembles as he speaks, barely able to contain the mix of emotions flooding him.
“Feels so unreal,” you admit.
“No,” he says firmly, “it’s real. It’s us. I can’t wait to hold you both.”
You rest your forehead against the cold wall, closing your eyes, picturing him there beside you.
“I’m nervous,” you confess quietly. “But happy.”
“Me too,” he says. “We’ll do this together. Every step.”
You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling him so close even though miles away.
“I love you.”
“I love you in every universe.”
748 notes · View notes
atebyflowers · 1 month ago
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︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎if i wasn't so american ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎| ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎part one
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[ ︎this is the intro to a series of truck driver ellie x serial killer femme fics . . . . Full credit to this tweet for the idea. photos are solely for aesthetic purposes not meant to mimic readers intended race or body. ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ butch ellie x femme reader, misogyny mentions, murder obviously, assault/sa; not in depth, but mentioned. smut (r!recieving). long reader storyline. not native in english, semi edited, but ignore grammar/punctuation mistakes. title of the fic is from this song . word count : 6.2k ]
︎ March 1st, 2000
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ You remember the first time you actually went through with a kill like it was yesterday. He was dirty, borderline revolting when you first met him. Ending up at a truck stop after a day of hitchhiking your way through town, you couldn't help but notice him. I mean, how could you not with how obnoxious he was. Standing outside his truck loudly cat calling nearly every girl he laid his eyes on, it was impossible for you to miss him.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎You had a lingering hatred for the type of men that spoke to women as anything other than respectable, it burned a different type of hatred into your heart. You couldn't reason with them. Nothing in your mind allowed you to sympathize with such creatures. And now, as you walk into the truck stop for a drink, peeking through the clear windows as the occasional woman walks up and does everything in their power to avoid the pig practically loitering outside — your resolution is final. If the lord won't take these men out of this world to benefit women, it must mean he's waiting for you to take matters into your own hands. And boy were you anticipating the day you came across such an easy target like this one.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ "Hey misterrr" you dragged out as you leaned up against the truck beside his, drink in hand and a lightly packed bag hanging off your shoulder; containing nothing but a few outfits, a camera, a kitchen knife, spare change and a gun you swiped from your fathers closet back home. "well hey there sweet thing" he replied, looking you up and down, his eyes making sure to stare down just a bit longer than up — dirty pervert you thought. "so what brings you over here? called out to ya earlier but you walked right past me". he questioned, somewhat slurred as he placed a cigarette in his mouth. "oh nothin.. must've not heard you the first time. just wanted to see where you might be headed" you answered, putting on your best fake smile before takint a sip of your drink. "now why's that huh? y'lookin for a ride huh?" he responded letting out a puff of smoke. "maybeee .. or maybe i'm lookin to come visit you sometime". Your words were as convincing as they could be in this situation. It also helped that he was a desperate loser who'd believe anything if said by a sweet young woman. "oh really?" he chuckled. "really" you responded, widening your eyes and leaning up off the truck. "soo... why don't you write down your name and where ur heading so i'll remember who to ask for when i come knocking" you reached into your bag as you spoke, pulling out a nearly empty pen and an old notebook before handing it to him. Immediately he complied, thinking he got lucky he didn't hesitate to give you his location, even throwing in a time recommendation for you. Handing you back the notebook, you smiled at the words in rusty hand writing. Randy was his name. such a shame poor old randy had no clue what was coming his way you thought to yourself once again as you placed the notebook back in your bag, barely zipping it up before he attempted to pull you closer to him. "so tell me.. what youlookin to do then baby?" his words almost faded into a whisper as he leaned down to smell your hair, his body odor slapping you in the face before you pulled away subtly and started to walk backwards. "don't you worry about that now.. i like to suprise my dates" you replied before turning around fully to walk off — cringing at your own words as you made your way towards the sidewalk.
︎ ︎ As you made your way down the street — you came to a stop once the sidewalk started to fade into gravel. you threw your bag down at your feet and stretched out your arm. hitchhiking was nothing new to you, you had been on the road for months catching rides from strangers and debating with the voices in your head. You had a few other victims in mind before randy. Some you met at other stops, some that picked you up on the way. But there was always something in the way: too many people around, a wife and kids waiting for them at home, your conscious telling you it was wrong. for a while now, it took long sleepless nights of thinking, for you to actually develop the overwhelming urge to kill without remorse. There was nothing left for you back at home, and you had spent your entire life surrounded by males who did nothing but make being a woman seem like living hell. What good did men like Randy bring to the world? and what loss would it be without them? could taking your anger out on them really be that bad? you knew the answer to that. it was obvious. there was no space in this world for such things, and you were desperate to make sure no other woman would suffer at the hands of them. it wasn't an impulse, it was a buildup that took months of debating before you came to terms with what you needed to do.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ It didn't take long for someone to stop at the sign of your hand waving at on coming cars. a nice couple this time; perhaps in their 30s it seemed. luckily for you they were headed in the perfect direction, not asking too many questions about why you're headed so far up alone — the drive going by slowly in result. but you were grateful, it gave you more than enough time to draw out a plan in your head. After about an hour and a half they dropped you off at a diner not too far from where you were supposed to meet Randy — some rundown trailer park you could barely pin point on the map. Lord did he make it too easy. You didn’t go there right away. Instead, you sat in the booth of the diner for a while, until sundown to be exact. there was nothing on your mind besides carrying out what you had in mind. Randy would be the first hit to a long list of others.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ When the sun set and customers started to clear out, you began your trip to the promised meeting location. The walk to his trailer felt short. The directions were easy and there really weren't many people around. The park was quiet, it was hard to tell which trucks were abandoned and which had others living in them. Randy's trailer was the last one in the row, almost perfectly hidden behind all the others. You didnt take long to approach, the feeling of actually being close to someone you had planned to kill made your adrenaline rush in ways it hasn't before, there was nothing holding you back. Randy opened the door the second he heard your first knock, shirtless, he held a half-drunk bottle of whiskey in one hand. "Well i’ll be damned. ya actually showed up huh” he slurred with a grin, stepping aside and waving you in. you smiled sweetly and walked inside without wasting time on verbal exchange. Immediately upon entry, you were hit with the smell of sweat, cigarettes and alcohol. Your eyes gazed around the room, spotting porn magazines on the table and a lonesome cat in the corner.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ “You drinkin’ anything?” he asked, walking toward the counter, not bothering to ask what you liked — just pouring some of his half drank bottle into a terribly washed cup for you when you agreed to having a drink. you didn't actually drink it of course, it barely touched your lips as you thanked him and pretended to take a sip. “Didn’t expect someone like you to actually show,” he broke the silence, settling onto the couch, “But I ain’t complainin’ you're a sweet one" he added, a nasty smirk on his face as he continued to drink directly from the bottle. You didn't sit nor did he offer you a seat, you just stood there, leaned against the wall, fiddling with the dirty undranken glass before responding. "well.. i always try to keep my promises" you said. "mm well i sure am glad. you not like them other bitches huh darlin'?" he replied slowly, fixing himself off the couch to come over to you. The word he uses sent a rush of anger through your veins. He touched you on your arm, then slid his hand down to rub your ass. though uncomfortable, you kept your composure and let him, not wanting to fuck this up. "Randy.." you spoke just above a whisper — he didn't pull away, only responding with a grunt. "Randy.. i have a question" you continued, this time he only pulled back a little, keeping a firm grip on your waist. "hm? what is it.... ah u wanna get more comfortable that's it honey?" he questioned with the same smirk on his face as earlier. you chuckled in response, turning to reach into your bag slowly as you responded. "no... not necessarily i- just wanted to give you something i got on the road". you unzipped the bag, "oh yes? well lemme see my gift then sweetheart" he replied — and you pulled it out. a small hand gun, loaded of course, immediately causing him to step back and put his hands up. His face twisted into something between shock and amusement. “woah there now, what's this about" he asked, and for the first time since meeting him your words wouldn't come out — there was nothing in your mind besides the sound of your own heart rushing. it was beating throughout your ears, you couldn't respond, you just stood there for a moment, gun in hand and pointed directly at him.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ "I dunno what you think you're doin but liste-" you raised the gun towards his left side, and Randy's words were cut off with a single shot. You didn’t give him time to beg or even understand the gravity of your actions, your desire to kill was entirely too high for you to let him try and talk you out of it, or attempt to gain some sympathy out of you. You stood over him after it was done, he hit the floor harder than ever and you watched as he bled out — the cat that had been seated in the corner, scrambled to his side meowing. that was probably the only part you felt bad about, the poor and neglected cat. Once you made sure he was fully gone, kicking at his side to try and wake him, kneeling down to check his pulse — you didn't bother to clean up. It was useless when his body would most likely be there for days you thought. reaching over your shoulder and placing the gun back in your bag, you reached in at the same time and pulled out your camera — snapping a quick picture of the lifeless man before standing up. before leaving randy's trailer: you swiped his pockets and quickly rummaged through his belongings to find any leftover cash or cigarettes. once you gathered what could fit into your bag, you were headed out — but just as you were about to close the door behind you, you turned around, walking back towards Randy's body and picking up the cat that had now laid down next to him. you were a murderer yes, but the thrill of just having killed someone didn't erase your morals, you couldn't let that cat starve to death alone in there just cause you hated its owner. It was an innocent thing. and so once in hand, you left Randy there alone, the trailer park still as quiet and empty as it had been when you came — nobody around to have possibly seen you, and nobody home in their trailers who seemed to care about the loud bang that rang out earlier. lord, was it ever so easy. ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ Randy was obviously the first. You were inexperienced and had never killed before him. But once it was done, you felt nothing but satisfaction with yourself. You physically couldn't feel bad for what you had done no matter how hard you tried. After that night, you had settled down at a hotel just a town over from where you committed the act. The only thing that halted your travels for about four weeks was the brief worry that if you act again too soon you may get caught. But there was no remorse about the actual actions at hand, and that's why immediately after a month was up, and your worrying feeling went away, you were ecstatic to get back to work. You couldn't say Randy was the last; of course he wasn't. If anything, Randy opened the door to many other men like him falling victim to your sweet manipulation. you learned from him, he showed you just how easy it is to talk to the ones like him, and how much easier it was to get valuable information out of them by offering.. Well, nothing specifically. you never actually offered sex or anything to these men. But just the hopes of a girl showing up and giving them something was more than enough for them to compromise their safety unknowingly — and you thanked the gods above for making it this simple. Over the course of five months, you had killed ten other men like Randy over the course of five months — the entitled ones who thought women owed them something, the dirty ones who spoke boldly to women with no interest in them, and especially the ones with no one waiting at home for them. It wasn't as hard to cover up your true intentions when speaking to others, nor was it ever hard to find a ride towards your next victim. People were too trusting of sweet looking young girls like yourself, but you were ever so grateful for it. only ever made your job easier.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎
September 12th, 2000
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ You've been sitting on the curb outside a laundromat stop in Arizona for about an hour and 30 now. it's 7:30pm on a Sunday, you're waiting for your clothes to dry after washing them. It's been 2 months since your last kill, and seven months since randy. It was fall now and the weather was getting colder, which only meant even less people roaming the streets. Even less chances of possible witnesses. Despite that, your overwhelming urge to kill quickly had worn off. with only one slip up over the last few months — an accidental run in with a local cop after a kill, who, lucky for you, 100% believed your excuse of it being “that time of the month” when he asked about the small dried blood stain on your clothing. You didn't really find it necessary to kill so fast. With no one on your ass, you could take your time and enjoy experiencing each state while killing a disturbing man you came across occasionally here and there.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ Your mind started to drift off before you heard boots scrapping across the bumpy pavement, swiftly catching your attention. That was the first time you saw her. She caught your attention from the get go, her auburn hair caught by the golden evening sunlight — she wore brown jeans and an old looking cardigan with a white shirt underneath. You stared at her as she stood outside the door holding a bar of clothes, digging in her jean pocket for some cash before stepping inside, you, slowly following behind. There weren't many women you came across during your killing spree. None that weren't being harassed by your next victim at least. and definitely none that looked like her. You tried to be subtle about the fact you were watching her, taking your clothes out of the dryer and placing them back into the washer as she did with hers. You didn't notice that she noticed, but neither of you said a word to each other. You were the only ones in the laundromat besides the older lady behind the counter closely focused on the tv hanging along the wall next to her. It was quiet, and beyond awkward as you both sat on opposite sides of the room waiting for the washers to go off, then switching to a dryer. You didn't tend to put a hit out on someone you were seeking a ride from, you always let fate put someone in your hands and trusted that they'd get you to where you needed without harm (the fact you had a gun and a knife, and weren't afraid to use either also helped). But there was something different about the way she carried herself that made you desperate to ask her, or at least find out where she was going. Maybe it was the fact you were touch strived, or maybe it was the fact you had been surrounded by men for months on end and wanted to have a conversation with a woman who wasn't in need of your help. Whatever it was, you always knew to follow through with your gut.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ Her clothes dried faster than yours. you watched again as she unloaded the dryer and put her clothes back into the bag she had brought them in, before walking out. Once she was out of the door, you rushed to be sure you don't miss her — unloading your own, still damp clothing. You waited until she was fully in her truck, keeping a slight distance as she pulled out of the parking lot. Following a few feet behind, the cool air hit your face as you stood at the end of the lot, watching her truck in the distance stop, not too far from where you stood, before it pulled into a local diner. You wasted no time making your way down the street towards the same building, determined to catch and speak to her this time.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ The bell above the door rang loudly as you stepped inside, a whiff of black coffee hitting your nose immediately upon entry. you noticed her the second you sat down — she was sitting alone, at a table not too far from where you were, a coffee already in her hand. there was a chance she noticed when you walked in, maybe her eyes turned to the door the second she heard the bell like everyone else did. or maybe she didn't care, either way, she didn't look up from the newspaper she had laid on her table. you didn't bother to order anything, unsure of how long she'd be there, you couldn't take the risk of being too indulged in your food and miss her. About 30 minutes passed before she stood up and tucked in her chair. She left a tip on the table and just as she was about to get away, you acted fast. "hey” you called out to her, a bit louder than you meant to which made you cringe, but it did the job — grabbing her attention. she paused with her hand on the truck door, her foot about to climb up before she stepped back down and turned slightly towards you. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you just — um… are you heading out of town? i could use a ride if you got room" you asked looking over towards her open truck door, adjusting the bag on your shoulder. She stared back at you for a minute before she spoke, her emotion was hard to read which irritated something in you — after months of reading men like a book, she was the first person whose words you couldn't make out in your head before they were actually spoken. “What makes you think I’m going far?” she questioned, raising an eyebrow. You bit the inside of your cheek and sighed to yourself before answering; “ah i dunno... just figured i'd ask instead of wasting time tryna flag someone down". She looked you over again as you spoke, but it wasn't the way a man would, it was almost like an evaluation. "ya got anyone waiting on you?" she questioned, a question that confused you but you answered anyways — "no one" you said shaking your head. your response seemed to satisfy her as she nodded her head towards the passenger side. "c'mon then". it wasn't thorough, but it was enough to get you going. you wasted no time following her words, hopping inside after her and closing the door behind you. The inside of the truck smelled like pine and something metallic, old blood maybe, or just rust. The seemingly old seats squeaked under your weight as you adjusted yourself and fastened your seatbelt — taking your bag off and placing it on your lap.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ You were both quiet when she pulled out of the diner, and you remained quiet for lord knows how long into the drive. If you were being honest with yourself, what could you possibly say? this was the first time youd been in contact with a girl ... like her, in nearly forever. it was also the first time you ever felt something besides the thrill you got from killing. you weren't sure what the feeling was, but it was something different. she was the first to break the silence, looking at you fidgeting with your bag before she sighed and imitated a conversation. "so, what's your name?" You looked over at her, her eyes completely focused on the road now. you graced over her, noticing the way her slightly veiny hands gripped the steering wheel. "do i have to tell you" you responded, and she shrugged, "You don’t, but i did let you into my truck without running a background check. would at least be nice to know what to call ya" she responded and you hesitated. she did have a point you thought — and therefore you complied — speaking your name just above a whisper, slightly hoping she wouldn't catch it, but of course, she did. "alright then y/n. i'm Ellie.” She reached over and turned the volume up on the radio just a little after speaking, an old country song you couldn't recognize the name of hitting your ears. "Nice to meet you Ellie.. and thanks ... you know for the ride and all" you replied and she hummed in response. "how far y'lookin 'to go?" Ellie asked, her fingers tapping the steering wheel along to the along just slightly, though enough for you to notice. "not sure really. guess as far as you're willing to put up with me for". you really didn't know where you were going without a target out on the next victim. It was a weird feeling to be chasing practically nothing for once, and without fully understanding why you decided to chase it. But it was too late to back out, and there was nothing in your mind telling you to do so. How it would go from here was unknown, for once, things weren't completely in your control, there was no secret mind game to play — just fate and whatever slip of hope you had left from home.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ You drove mostly in silence for about another hour or two after that. The same few songs played over and over again on the radio, Ellie changing the station every once in a while, though there wasn't much change in the music itself. You stared out the window for the majority of the silence. There wasn't much on your mind to debrief about — the situation at hand didn't have much gravity to it and overall you've already gone over every possible thought about the last seven months of your life. so, you waited until Ellie eventually spoke again once she got to a red light. "Do you always hitchhike with strangers?" she asked, her voice lower than it had been before. you glared at her — trying to read whether it was a joke or an actual question, quickly giving up when you realized you still couldn't read past her. "Guess so" you answered somewhat emotionless, not wanting to give up too much detail, and she hummed again. You drove for another hour or so, before Ellie pulled into a small roadside motel, the neon sign flickering like it was struggling to stay alive. There were two other cars in the parking lot but nothing else that really caught your eye. “Alright" she spoke, pausing to shut off the radio and turn the car off before speaking again. "can either come in with me or catch another ride, m'not driving throughout the night" she said. You nodded at her and she turned to get out of the truck, you — taking an extra moment before getting out. It was already nearing 1am, so you couldn't blame Ellie for stopping. but the idea of staying alone with a stranger overnight, somehow didn't bother you as much as it should've. more so, having no prey at this moment didn't bother you either. Rather, the idea that she could possibly be the dangerous one didn't cross your mind, you only felt relief. relief that you have some sense of normalcy for a moment — as normal as being a runaway turned serial killer could possibly be. Staying at different places for months alone had its ups and downs, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't miss having some sort of contact with another human being — one that wasn't on your hit list at least. and therefore, you followed behind her.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ The room she paid for was surprisingly clean despite the outside look of the motel itself. the curtains were stained a bit yellow and there was dust amongst the tables, but besides that nothing seemed particularly bad. The only major flaw that caught your eye — being the singular bed. the lady working at the front desk, insisting they didn't carry doubles. Ellie tossed her bag onto the chair and unzipped it slowly, pulled out a pack of gum and offered you a piece. You shook your head and sat on the edge of the bed. Your demeanour was more awkward than usual, it was slightly funny to you — the way you caught yourself being filled with such a confusing feeling after spending so long having others that way. Ellie leaned against the lone tv stand across from the bed, studying you for a moment before speech. “you ever gonna tell me why you were following me back there?” she asked. So she did notice you thought to yourself. Your natural reaction was to shrug. “I just had a feeling about you I suppose... i dunno". “feeling,” she repeated with an almost mocking scoff, “ya always go with your feelings hm?" she asked on, this time you were willing to give in slightly with more detail. Whether it was the lack of sleep or the fact you finally got a good look at her now that she was standing directly in front of you — whatever it was, made you feel a sort of desperation to be heard that you never felt before. She was still a stranger, you reminded yourself in your head. But there was something drawing you towards her that was almost magnetic. "most the time, they tend to be right" you replied. “can't say they've ever led me to... this though" you add. “this?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, her tone only got lower as the night went on it seemed. “this" you said again standing up, without really meaning to. it was unusual, like your body had a mind of its own and moved with the pace of your words. there was a rushing feeling in your blood, but for once, it wasn't the type of rush you got from murdering. This one was unfamiliar — but not the slightest bit less thrilling. You were close to her now — you didn't mean to move like that, but she didn’t back away at your movement, and you didn't think to stop yourself. For a moment, you were both still, so still it almost hurt. Then slowly, her hand came up and hovered near your jaw, not quite touching, but close enough to make you flinch at first — Ellie only letting out a soft chuckle at the sight. “you're real strange y'know" she muttered low. You tilted your head slightly which caused her lingering fingers to brush against your skin. with a small smirk you responded "yeah?", ellie nodding. "well so are you" you added, lookin down at the short distance between yours and her feet. You hadn't realized just how close the two of you got, until her hand was on your face. She reached down towards your chin, tilting your head up for your eyes to meet hers, her hand now sliding toward your jaw again. It caught you off guard, but you didn't pull back or ask her to stop as she pulled you in for a kiss. It wasn't soft or slow. It was sudden and rough, like both of you were touch strived and waiting for this exact moment to slap you in the face. her mouth tasted like gum and old coffee, but you were so in tune with her — it didn't matter, all you could do was kiss her back. So desperate, it was like you’d die if you didn’t. When you broke apart, she stared at you for a short moment, as if she was actually looking for a sign of discomfort from you. one, that of course couldn't be found — as you were more than comfortable enough now, to pull her back in for another one.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ellie's hand dragged down your thigh, the two of you slowly moving towards the bed — your mouths still attached with every movement. she pushed you down onto the shockingly soft mattress, her lips moving from yours and making their way to your jaw, then your neck. you let out a shaky breath in response to her take over, which caused her to lift up from your skin. she leaned down to place another softer kiss on your lips this time, before cupping your face and speaking — her touch, more gentle than you could've ever expected. it was like her skin melted perfectly into yours, spiking a feeling you longed for. "tell me if you want to stop" she spoke above a whisper, words you wouldnt have guessed, though they only made you ache for her even more. "please.... keep going" you spoke through heavy breathes, Ellie smiling just a bit at how worked up you had already become. her lips attached back to your skin, making their way across your body as her hands were rubbing up and down your thigh for a moment — before she began to toy with the fabric underneath your skirt. She didn't question you this time, your body naturally grinding up against her hand being enough of an invite as she pushed aside the fabric. "fuck" you gasped as her fingers came in contact with your cunt. she teased you for a minute, brushing a finger up and down your slit as you desperately chased some form of friction — ellie letting out a scoff in response to the image. "ya really need this huh?" she spoke, your eyes locking onto hers while she practically taunted you. "mm y-yes-" you were cut off by your own moans as she pushed apart your folds, rubbing circles on your drenched clit. "god... already so wet f'me honey" she spoke, ans you let out another whine in response. "s'all okay.. i'll take good care of you” Ellie informed, her fingers now making their way to your entrance as she lowered herself down towards your legs. her movement was gentle, enough for you to fully take in every finger she carefully pushed into you. she started off slow, pulling in and out of you and paying close attention to your expression — how pathetic you looked trying to stay quiet while she fingered you. It was hard at first, but even harder once she started eating you out. her tongue, like a magnet to your clit. she sucked on you like it was her first and last meal — like she had to savour every moment of it. "e-ellie .. god it's too much please" you whined, unsure of what you were begging for — all Ellie could focus on was how good you tasted, how good you sounded for her, completely under her strength. "you taste amazing" she mumbled, her fingers speeding up their pace as her mouth stayed attached to your cunt. "prettiest pussy I've ever had" she added, and you let out a louder moan in response, quickly shutting yourself up when you caught it. but she wasn't having it, "don't ... don do that ... wanna hear you" she ordered, and you obeyed.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ you moans rang throughout the walls as ellie took her time with you. eating you out with her fingers buried inside of you — it was an overwhelming sensation you never wanted to end. "el.." you couldn't make out her full name through your moans, you were more than close — on edge, but she didn't stop. "i know .. c'mon baby i wanna taste you.. let go f'me" she assured you, not that you could really hold back with the way she was fucking you. "mm it's soso good please don't stop ... i'm gonna-" you let out a mix of moans and soft whines in response to her words. and as your orgasm came over you — you caught yourself inside of your head once again. thoughts were finally becoming coherent. but they were nothing close to negative, nothing close to what you had ever thought before. you were having sex with a complete stranger. you were giving into sex with a complete stranger, and it didn't feel bad. she didn't feel bad. there was no sense of guilt or worry. you we're completely indulged in her, just as she was you.
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ You dozed off not too long after she was done with you. Ellie, who was ever so gentle with you once you came down from your high, treating you like a vase that could crack any moment — cleaned you up with care, offering to run you a bath and repeatedly apologizing for bruises that started to form on your inner thighs. Your body was sore in a way you hadn’t felt in years. but it wasn't from running this time, it wasn't from fighting or violence — only from the touch of another. the touch you allowed to be there. It was almost unsettling how good it felt. The motel room was quiet when you turned over again. The sheets were barely draped across your hip as you drifted in and out of sleep — your eyes struggling to open fully, though coming apart just enough for you to notice the space in bed beside you, empty with ellie's indent left in it. Your breath hitched, but you didn't move. your eyes and ears came into focus slowly, but once they did — you heard it. the soft shuffle of movement at the foot of the bed. A faint rustle. You turned your head only a bit, not enough to make a noise — and that's when you saw her crouched low, her back to you. Ellie’s hands were deep in the front pocket of your bag, the sight of it making you feel as if your heart had slammed against your ribs. you were frozen solid as you watched her quickly move throughout your belongings — your breath getting stuck in your throat when she slowed down. That's when you watched her closely. ellie stood up — the edge of a photograph clutched between her fingers before she placed it on the table and leaned back down, pulling out another. then another. then another. "fuck" you whispered to yourself, closing your eyes before she could notice you awake.
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this is my first fic since january ... i promise it will get better with part two. tag list ; @dykeadvocate @abigaillovestoread @mabermaple @imdrowningindispair @dyk3ang3l @ellieshothousewife @lotudolly @euph0riafilms
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mrsvante · 27 days ago
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At Your Feet
pairing: jungkook x reader
genre: idol au, established relationship, pfp
summary: he’s home. eighteen months of denial. and now, the front door clicks shut behind him. the flashes stop. the noise fades. and all that’s left is you.
your voice. your rules. your power.
he remembers everything. every command. every ache. every way he was made to perform for you. and tonight, after all this time, he finally gets to please you again.
warnings: military discharge, established d/s dynamic, dom!reader, sub!jungkook, obedience/service kink, restraints (cuffs, blindfolds), orgasm control & denial, pegging m!receiving, spanking m!receiving, face sitting, oral fixation kink, praise & degradation kink, crying/emotionally overwhelmed jk, cumplay, overstimulation, lube & toys, a dash of military uniform kink 🤭, jungkook calling reader mistress/noona 😜😜😜, mental check ins between scenes, soft aftercare
word count: 8,840
a message from our sponsors 💁🏽‍♀️: okay so this is insane. i didn’t realize how long this drabble was until i was editing. it was difficult for me to write from a dom’s perspective (not to be too tmi but i prefer to lean way more submissive in my relationships). i kept thinking i hadn’t written enough for the drabble and now its double the word count of all the others 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ well, whatever..hopefully you guys like it. i’ve seen a few sub!jk stories and wanted to try my hand at it 😅
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The front door closed behind him with a soft click.
Outside, the world was still spinning. Reporters still lingering, flashes still going off, Jimin already texting him nonsense from the car en route to his apartment, but in here?
It was just him.
And you.
Jungkook exhaled as he slipped out of his boots, the weight of eighteen months settling at his feet like dust. The air inside your home was warm, humid with the scent of ginger, sesame oil, and garlic—your cooking. His favorite. The smell hit him in the chest like a memory and a promise.
He dropped his duffel by the door, throat tight.
“I’m home,” he called softly, voice already laced with need.
From somewhere deeper in the apartment your voice floated back, cool and calm and unmistakably you.
“Get on your knees.”
His breath hitched.
The smile that crept across his lips wasn’t a happy one, it was relieved.
“Put your hands behind your back.”
Jungkook was already sinking to the floor.
His knees hit the wood with a quiet thud. He rolled his shoulders back and laced his fingers behind him, eyes fixed on the hallway ahead…waiting.
Breath slowing. Head bowed slightly. Heart racing in his chest like a drum called to war.
Just like that, his body remembered.
Even after months of rigidity, rules, and military order, this was what brought him peace. You were his structure. His command. His reward.
His cock hardened instantly in his fatigues, straining uncomfortably against the stiff material, but he didn’t adjust it. Didn’t move. Not without permission.
Jungkook closed his eyes.
God, he’d missed this.
Missed you.
Missed the sound of your voice, stern, soft, all powerful.
Missed the weight of your gaze on him.
Missed the way his body hummed the moment you took control.
And now he was here, finally home, hands folded neatly behind his back, knees pressed to the floor, and waiting patiently.
Ready.
Yours.
His knees had gone numb.
But he didn’t move.
Didn’t fidget. Didn’t shift. Didn’t so much as glance around the room.
Jungkook knelt where you told him to, hands clasped behind his back, cock straining beneath the tight press of his uniform. And when the scent of your perfume slid around the corner, wrapping its fingers around his throat like silk?
He nearly whimpered.
Then you stepped into view.
And he did whimper.
Because you were in nothing but an apron. Thin cotton tied at the back, hem brushing your thighs, the curve of your hips bare, your chest barely concealed, nipples peaked beneath the soft fabric.
You tilted your head, not missing the way his breath hitched at the sight of you.
“Well,” you said, voice lilting like amusement dripped in honey, “they let you out early. Thought for sure they’d keep the kitchen staff for cleanup.”
Jungkook’s cheeks flushed.
“I wasn’t—”
You raised a brow. “You weren’t what, soldier?”
He shut his mouth fast, eyes lowering. “I wasn’t trying to argue, mistress.”
You hummed approvingly, arms crossing under your breasts. “Smart. Just a glorified cafeteria boy and still knows his place. I’m impressed.”
His cock throbbed at your words, the quiet cruelty in your tone, and the heat building behind your eyes.
And you knew it.
“Still so obedient after all this time,” you murmured, taking slow, measured steps toward him, heels clicking against the wood. “Still kneeling so pretty. Like nothing’s changed.”
You paused just a few feet in front of him. Close enough to see the way his throat bobbed. Close enough for him to smell the perfume on your skin and the faint hint of something sugary in your hair.
“But something has changed,” you whispered. Then, slowly, deliberately, you untied the bow at your back, and the apron slid forward an inch.
Jungkook’s eyes remained fixed on your feet, but you could see the tremble in his jaw, the flush on his neck.
You pulled the apron loose from your body, baring your chest, your stomach, the curve of your thighs—everything.
His breath stuttered.
“Be good,” you warned softly. “Eyes down.”
He didn’t move.
Not even when the apron dropped to the floor in front of him like a gauntlet.
You stepped out of it, bare now in every way that mattered, and paced around him like a flame licking at the edges of his restraint.
And still, he didn’t look.
Perfect.
“You’ve missed this, haven’t you?” you whispered, circling him like a predator. “Missed this house. This smell. This floor. Your place on it.”
“Yes, mistress,” he rasped, voice hoarse with need.
You stopped behind him, leaned in close.
“Missed me?”
His head bowed further, nearly to the floor. “More than anything.”
Your hand softly cupped his throat from behind, full of possession.
“You poor thing,” you murmured. “So starved for touch, and yet still so well trained. You’re mine, aren’t you, Jungkook?”
“Yes, mistress. Always.”
“Good.”
You moved back into view, standing before him once more.
“Now,” you said, stepping just close enough that the scent of your arousal reached his nose, “I’m going to cook while you continue kneeling like the good boy you are. And if you’re lucky, maybe I’ll let you taste what you’ve really been craving when I’m done.”
Jungkook bit down a moan and bowed his head again.
“Thank you, mistress,” he whispered, trembling.
Jungkook’s thighs ached. His back protested. His cock throbbed so hard it felt like it had its own pulse.
Still, he didn’t move and didn’t speak.
Just continued kneeling where you felt him. Staring at the apron piled in front of him.
He listened to the rustle of cookware and the faint bubbling of sauce from the stove. The way your heels clicked against the floor as you moved through the kitchen. Occasionally, he caught the sound of you humming to yourself under your breath, unconcerned with his presence.
That alone made him dizzy.
He was here, in your home, finally, after months of nothing but letters and rules and routines. And you were treating him like the obedient little thing he was, like no time had passed at all.
It made his chest ache.
It made his cock ache worse.
By the time you returned, your steps slow and measured, the food steaming behind you on the dining table and your nipples tight in the cool air, Jungkook felt like he was seconds from begging.
But he stayed still.
And you smiled.
“Good boy,” you purred. “Eighteen months and you’re still perfectly trained.”
His breath left him in a shaky exhale.
You stepped closer, brushing a finger beneath his chin, tilting his head up ever so slightly until he dared to meet your eyes.
“I want you to go wash your hands, bunny,” you said sweetly. “Use the powder room. You can stand now.”
Jungkook obeyed immediately.
He rose in one fluid movement, stiff from stillness but graceful all the same. His cock strained visibly in his pants, but he made no move to relieve it. Only offered you a bow of his head and whispered, “Yes, mistress,” before padding toward the powder room off the kitchen.
He passed you on the way, close enough to feel the heat radiating from your skin, close enough to inhale the sweetness clinging to your collarbone. He caught only a flicker of your bare back as he disappeared into the hall.
He washed his hands in silence, trying not to groan when he adjusted himself briefly in his fatigues.
When he returned, you were already at the table, one perfectly crossed leg revealing the curve of your thigh. A soft hum passed your lips as you filled his plate. Rice perfectly fluffed, meat steaming, the banchans were fragrant and colorful. You filled your own next, then folded your hands in your lap.
“You may eat.”
It was the softest command he’d received all day.
And yet it hit him the hardest.
Jungkook bowed his head gratefully before picking up his chopsticks. The first bite of meat melted on his tongue. Tender, spiced, cooked with the kind of love no military cooking could ever mimic.
He moaned.
Loudly.
“Fuck, mistress,” he said before he could stop himself. “This is so good. I—”
Then he looked at you again.
And almost choked.
Because while he was there, tucked beneath the soft glow of dining room light and chewing on perfectly seasoned chicken, you sat across from him, completely naked. Wearing nothing but a pair of stiletto heels and a small smile.
Casually eating.
Unbothered.
Like you weren’t slowly driving him to madness.
“M-mistress,” he stuttered, chopsticks freezing midair. His eyes dropped from your face to your breasts, to the bare skin of your stomach, to the place where your thighs pressed together just beneath the table.
He swallowed hard.
You didn’t look up. Just plucked another piece of chicken from your plate and chewed slowly.
“What is it, Jungkook?” you asked, feigning innocence.
“I—uh—” he tried, shifting in his seat.
“Is your food not to your liking?”
“No, mistress! It’s—it’s perfect.”
You finally looked up, eyes glittering. “Then eat, bunny. I didn’t spend all evening in the kitchen just for you to drool over my tits.”
Heat slammed into his gut like a fist.
“Yes, mistress,” he whispered, red faced, and forced another bite into his mouth—eyes darting between his food and your legs beneath the table.
The first time your heel brushes his cock, Jungkook nearly drops his chopsticks.
It’s subtle at first, just the curve of your foot nudging between his thighs, tracing along the inseam of his fatigues. But even that has him blinking hard, trying to stay composed, trying not to groan around a mouthful of rice.
Then the pressure increases.
The point of your heel glides up the length of his cock beneath the table, cruel and delicate. Jungkook’s whole body jerks.
You look completely serene, chewing thoughtfully, sipping water like your foot isn’t pressing into his crotch with dangerous precision.
“Mistress,” he gasps softly, hips stuttering beneath the table.
You don’t look at him. “Did you follow the rules?”
He knows what you mean.
“Yes, mistress,” he whispers, voice strangled with restraint. “I didn’t touch myself. Not once.”
Your smile is slow and satisfied. “Not even once?”
“Not even once,” he repeats, breathless. “I—I thought about you every night. But I didn’t touch.”
“Mmm…” You hum in approval, still not looking at him. “Such a good boy.”
Jungkook makes a noise, something like a half moan, half exhale as you press firmer, dragging the tip of your heel down the underside of his cock to rest just above his balls. His pulse hammers under his skin and sweat beads at the nape of his neck.
It’s not just the teasing—it’s you. You and your heels and your control. The scent of roasted meat still lingering in the air. The faint glisten of body oil on your bare chest. And now the image of your foot sliding along the line of his cock like you own him.
Because you do.
He grips the table’s edge to ground himself. His food forgotten.
“You’re not eating,” you note, eyes finally flicking to him. “Are you full?”
“I—” Jungkook swallows thickly, his cock straining violently against his pants. “Yes, mistress. I’m done. Thank you for cooking.”
Your head tilts, pleased.
“You’re welcome, bunny.” Then you lean back, voice dipping low. “I made your favorite for dessert.”
Jungkook’s eyes go wide.
You slide your chair back with a low scrape of wood on wood, then slowly spread your legs.
Jungkook forgets to breathe.
You’re wet and glistening under the warm light. And not wearing a single thing but those devastating heels means he can see everything. The soft, shaved curves of your pussy. The glint of slick between your folds. The shadowed heat waiting just for him.
His mouth waters instantly.
“Oh, fuck,” he whispers, barely audible.
You trace two fingers lightly over your inner thigh and smile. “You’ve been such a good boy, Jungkook. Do you want dessert now?”
He nods too fast, eyes locked between your legs like a starving man watching his first meal in months. “Yes, mistress. Please.”
You let your fingers slip lower, brushing just barely against your center as your voice goes saccharine sweet.
“Then crawl.”
He’s out of his chair in a second, already on his knees.
His fatigues scrape against the floor as he moves, but he barely notices. Not when you’re seated before him like a goddess in nothing but heels and power. His mouth is dry, his heart a war drum in his chest.
You spread your legs wider and Jungkook feels his pulse skip.
“Hands behind your back.”
The command is soft, but it cuts through him like a lash.
He obeys instantly, tucking his wrists behind him, spine straight, eyes locked on your dripping cunt. His cock aches where it’s trapped in his pants, throbbing in time with the tension that coils deep in his belly. But he doesn’t complain. He doesn’t move without your say so.
“Go ahead,” you murmur. “Eat.”
Jungkook leans forward slowly, savoring the moment. The scent of you hits first. All warm and musky, and familiar. He closes his eyes just for a second, inhaling like he’s been denied oxygen for eighteen months.
And then his tongue touches you.
You gasp as he groans, licking up the length of your slit with an eager stroke. His mouth latches onto your clit immediately, suction gentle but insistent. He moans again, tongue swirling, lips parting to press hot, open kisses into your folds like he’s trying to commit you to memory.
The sound of you drives him mad as he works your pussy slowly.
Jungkook tastes you like a man starved, tongue sliding through every crease, every soft dip, learning you all over again. But the more you squirm, the more he hears those little breathless sighs and choked moans from above, the more frenzied he becomes.
You reach down, fingers threading into his hair.
“Such a good boy,” you whisper, tugging him in closer. “My perfect, obedient boy.”
He groans, rutting his hips into the air at the praise, tongue fucking into you faster. His nose bumps your clit just right, and your thighs tense around his ears. Your heel presses into his back like a brand, keeping him in place.
“You missed this, didn’t you?” you murmur, breath hitching. “Missed worshiping your Mistress?”
Jungkook nods the best he can with his mouth stuffed full of your cunt, moaning against you like he’s already coming.
You’re close and he knows it. You always tremble right before. Your thighs quiver just slightly, and your fingers tighten in his hair, and your cunt starts to pulse around his tongue like it knows him.
“Don’t stop,” you warn, voice sharp and sweet. “You stop and you don’t get to come tonight.”
He doubles down.
Flicks your clit faster. Presses his tongue deeper. Lets his jaw go slack so he can shake his head slowly between your thighs, building pressure just the way you taught him.
Your moan breaks into something breathless and high.
And then you’re coming.
Hard.
Your thighs clamp tight around his ears, your hips bucking into his face, and Jungkook moans like he’s the one unraveling. He keeps licking through it, keeps drinking down everything you give him until your body slowly starts to relax.
You release his hair gently, your chest rising and falling in time with your breath.
Jungkook pulls back only when you nudge him, his chin slick, lips swollen and his eyes dazed with pure adoration. He waits, hands still behind his back, looking up at you like you hung the stars in the sky.
You lean forward and drag your thumb across his lower lip.
“Good boy,” you purr. “Now get undressed. Slowly. I want to watch.”
Jungkook rises to his feet with devotion in every movement. His fingers go first to the buttons of his fatigues, but he pauses, looking at you for permission. A single nod is all it takes. He begins to undress, slowly, just like you told him.
He peels off each layer like it’s sacred, his uniform jacket first, folded neatly and set aside. Then his undershirt, tugged over his head with trembling hands. You watch him the whole time from your seat, your legs still spread, your slickness glistening between your thighs, heels propped wide.
And yet…
There’s a softness in your gaze now. Just for a second.
It makes his chest ache worse than his cock.
You’re smiling. Not smug or sultry, but happy. A smile that cracks the mask of power you wear like a second skin. Your eyes shine, your throat tightens slightly, and Jungkook watches your smile tremble as you whisper, “I can’t believe you’re really home.”
He freezes, shirt halfway off.
The breath he takes is shallow, shaky. His voice barely works when he says, “I missed you so much, noona. I thought about you every day.”
You rise from your chair and you close the distance between you in three small steps. Your fingers find his jaw, thumbs brushing just beneath his eyes. And for a moment, just a moment, you pull him into a kiss that’s heartbreakingly gentle.
No teasing. No control.
Just lips pressed to his like you’re afraid he’ll disappear again.
It’s him who makes a sound this time. A broken little whimper against your mouth. His arms twitch at his sides, needing to hold you, touch you, anchor you. But he doesn’t. Not without permission.
When you pull back, you’re flushed, breath shallow. You’re so visibly happy it knocks the air out of his lungs.
But then your gaze sharpens.
The softness is gone in an instant, replaced by the glint of control in your eyes that makes Jungkook’s knees weak.
“Did I tell you to stop undressing?” you ask.
He scrambles. “No, Mistress. I’m sorry.”
“Then why are you standing there like you forgot how to move?”
“I didn’t—I’m just—” He bites back the babble of excuses, ducking his head. “I’ll be good.”
“I know you’ll be good,” you say, circling him slowly like a wolf scenting prey. “You always are.”
You stop behind him.
Your palms brush over his back, down his sides, and he shivers when your nails lightly drag over his ribs.
“Get rid of the rest. Now.”
Jungkook obeys at once, pushing his pants and briefs down his legs with trembling urgency. His cock springs free, flushed dark, glistening with need and angled up toward his navel. He steps out of the rest of his clothes, then straightens, arms at his sides, chest rising and falling fast.
You step in front of him again.
Look down.
Smile.
“My, my. Look at you,” you murmur. “Still obedient. Still desperate, and so fucking hard for me.”
He whines, hips twitching forward instinctively.
Your hand shoots out, palm cracking lightly against his thigh. “Ah-ah. You do not fuck the air.”
“Yes, Mistress,” he whispers, head spinning.
You grab his chin and tilt his face down toward yours. “You’re not going to come until I say so.”
“Yes, Mistress.”
You trail your fingers down his chest, past his navel, barely grazing the base of his cock. He moans, knees wobbling slightly.
“You’ve been so patient,” you whisper, brushing your lips over his jaw. “So well behaved.”
Your hand closes around him slowly.
He groans, cock twitching in your grip.
You pump him once. Twice. Enough to make his thighs tremble before you pull away completely.
“Go lie down,” you say. “We’re just getting started.”
Jungkook stumbles toward the bedroom without hesitation, cock bobbing with each hurried step.
And you follow, your gaze locked on your boy. Your boy who waited eighteen months to come home to you. Your boy who would burn the world just to kneel at your feet again.
He reaches the bedroom and pauses just inside the threshold, unsure if he’s allowed to climb onto the bed without being told.
But you’re already behind him, watching.
“Good boy,” you say softly.
Jungkook swears his knees nearly give out. Those two words hit deeper than any kiss, deeper than any touch. He feels them all the way in his gut.
“On the bed. Head at the pillows.”
He scrambles up, doing exactly as he’s told. His cock aches, heavy and flushed against his stomach, but he doesn’t dare touch it. Not without instruction.
You take your time walking around the room. Your heels echo softly against the wood floor, and the only thing Jungkook can focus on is the gentle sway if your hips with every step.
Then he hears the drawer and soft metallic clink of cuffs.
His breath catches.
You walk over to the bed, holding a pair of padded leather restraints in your hand. The sight of them sends Jungkook’s heart pounding. His hips twitch upward instinctively before he forces himself to be still.
“Hands above your head,” you say.
He obeys without hesitation, and you crawl onto the bed with the calm, practiced ease of someone who’s done this many times and knows exactly how to break him apart.
Your fingers brush over his wrists, and Jungkook swears he could come from just that.
“Still okay?” you murmur, checking his eyes.
“Yes, Mistress,” he says, voice breathless. “Please—yes.”
The cuffs go on gently, secured to the headboard with quiet clicks. They’re snug, but soft. Comforting, even. Like he belongs there.
You sit back on your heels and admire him.
There he is—spread out for you, skin flushed, chest rising and falling fast, cock leaking against his stomach, muscles twitching as he fights to hold still.
And when your hand trails from his collarbone down his chest, Jungkook moans, his arms flexing uselessly against the restraints.
“Look at you,” you murmur. “So obedient. So hard.”
He swallows. “I missed this.”
You smile, slow and wicked. “I can tell.”
You don’t touch him again. Not yet.
Instead, you shift to the end of the bed and sit between his spread thighs. Your hands push gently at his knees, encouraging him to stay open for you. Then you lean in and press a kiss to his inner thigh. Not his cock. Just beside it.
He moans, shivering at the softness of it.
Another kiss. Higher this time.
And another, near the base of his shaft.
He whines, tugging helplessly at the restraints.
“M-Mistress…”
“Something you want, bunny?”
He chokes on a breath. “Please touch me.”
“Oh?” Your lips graze the tip of his cock but never wrap around it. “You were so good for so long. Not even one touch while you were away?”
“No, Mistress,” he gasps. “I followed the rules.”
“Even when you couldn’t sleep?” you ask, voice lower now, sultry and curious. “Even when the barracks were dark and quiet and you were all alone… hard and aching for me?”
He whimpers.
“Yes, Mistress,” he says again. “I didn’t touch myself. Not once.”
You finally reach out, stroking a single fingertip along the underside of his cock.
He twitches violently, hips jerking upward before he can stop himself.
“Mmh,” you sigh. “You really are my good boy, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” he pleads, voice already beginning to break. “Please—please let me cum.”
You wrap your hand around him.
Not to stroke. Just to hold him, and he moans, helpless under the weight of your grip.
“You don’t get to come yet,” you whisper. “You’re going to thank me properly first.”
Jungkook nods, trembling, eyes wide and glassy. “Yes, Mistress. Anything.”
You shift up the bed again and straddle his face.
His heart nearly bursts from his chest.
And then—you lower yourself slowly until your heat is pressed against his mouth.
He groans like he needs this more than air.
His tongue works desperately between your folds, lapping and sucking, nose buried in the soft swell of you, and your moans. Those soft breathy sighs make him throb helplessly in the air.
He licks like he’s praying.
You ride his face with a slow, controlled rhythm, fingers gripping his hair, and he lets you take everything from him, his breath, his restraint, his mind. When you finally come, shuddering and gasping, he moans beneath you like he just found heaven.
And when you lift off of him, soaked and radiant, you smile down at him like he’s your prize.
“Still want to cum, bunny?”
He’s breathless. “More than anything.”
You reach between his thighs and stroke him once, twice, just enough to make him cry out.
Then you climb off the bed, and leave him there.
Eyes wide.
Mouth parted.
Cock leaking.
And you say, cool and casual, “Then be patient. We’re not done yet.”
He watches you walk away from the bed, his entire body trembling with need. His cock pulses in the air, flushed dark and leaking, glistening at the tip with every beat of his heart. Every instinct screams at him to chase you, to reach for you, to do something.
But he can’t.
His wrists are still cuffed above his head. And you haven’t told him to move.
So he doesn’t.
Instead, he watches, helpless and hungry, as you walk over to the dresser and open the shallow velvet lined drawer. The one that holds all the toys you love to use on him. His eyes go wide when you lift the wand vibrator from its place.
You don’t say a word as you climb back onto the bed.
But your smile speaks volumes.
You straddle his thigh, kissing the inside of his knee, then the curve of his hip. He’s panting already. Shaking. Barely keeping his whimpers contained.
The wand hums to life in your hand.
And you barely touch the head of his cock.
“Ah—fuck!” Jungkook cries, hips bucking despite himself.
You pull the wand away instantly.
“Tsk,” you scold softly. “What did I say about staying still?”
“I-I’m sorry, Mistress,” he gasps. “I couldn’t help it.”
You hum, tapping the wand lightly against his thigh.
“I think you can help it. You just need… more practice.”
And then you begin again.
The wand returns to the base of his shaft this time, sliding slowly up the length of him before you lift it just as it kisses the swollen head. Again and again. No pressure. No friction. Just the constant vibration around him but never enough.
Jungkook moans, his hands clenching into fists above him, his abs twitching as he tries to keep himself anchored.
“Please,” he whispers, voice cracking. “Please, Mistress… please let me cum…”
You tilt your head, pretending to think. “Hmm… no.”
You stroke him once with your free hand. Just once.
It’s devastating.
He cries out again, hips stuttering, the heat coiling too tight in his belly now, too fucking much to endure.
“You want to cum that badly, bunny?” you murmur, placing the wand against his inner thigh while your hand wraps around his cock.
“Yes,” he breathes, chest heaving. “Yes—please, I’ll do anything.”
Your grip begins to move. Slow, deliberate strokes, paired with the soft hum of the wand teasing the space just beneath his balls.
“Anything?” you echo.
He nods rapidly, moaning, breathless and ruined. “Yes. Yes, Mistress.”
You lean over him, your mouth just above his, voice a whisper of silk and steel.
“Then you’ll hold it.”
He sobs.
Because he knows what’s coming.
You stroke faster, the wand drifting closer, the pressure finally increasing. His body arches, tenses, his thighs trembling. He’s right on the edge.
You lean in again, licking a stripe up his throat before whispering:
“Don’t you dare cum.”
He tries. He tries so hard. But he’s been waiting eighteen long months. His mind is foggy, body burning, nerves alight with the promise of release.
And it breaks him.
He comes with a choked cry, body convulsing under your touch as his release spills across his belly and chest, thick and hot and endless. His entire body shudders from the force of it.
And the moment he’s finished you stop. The wand powers off with a click. And your hand stills. Silence settles in the room, save for Jungkook’s panting breaths and the soft whine of his voice breaking.
“I’m sorry…” He sounds wrecked. Wrecked and afraid.
You climb up beside him and stroke his hair back from his forehead.
“I know,” you say softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “That was beautiful, bunny. But I told you not to cum.”
Tears prick at his eyes.
“I tried—I tried so hard—”
You hush him gently. “You did. And I’m proud of you.”
You press your lips to his temple and uncuff his wrists slowly, gently, massaging each one after the release.
“But you’ll need to be punished.”
Jungkook nods, broken and grateful. “Yes, Mistress. Please.”
You smile. “Don’t worry. That’ll come later.”
You let him curl up in your arms after that, pressing slow kisses to his flushed cheeks and whispering praise in his ear. You stroke his hair, gently bring him back down. He clings to you, boneless, sated, and soft.
Eventually—your hand drifts back between his thighs.
He gasps softly.
“You didn’t think you were done, did you?”
The cuffs are gone, but his wrists still tingle with the phantom ache of restraint.
Jungkook blinks up at you, eyes glassy and red rimmed, his body limp where it sinks into the bed. He’s flushed everywhere, chest rising and falling, thighs twitching with leftover tremors, cum drying sticky across his skin.
You sit beside him, naked and composed, with a wet towel in hand and that same unreadable look in your eyes. He knows that look. Knows it so well.
It means you’re checking in.
You don’t speak at first, just reach out and gently clean him. Your touch is soft. Wiping his chest, his belly, between his legs. He doesn’t even flinch when you wipe over his sensitive cock, still hard, flushed and twitchy from being pushed too far too fast.
He moans softly instead, half lidded eyes watching you work.
When you’re done, you lean forward and press your forehead to his.
“Color?” you whisper.
His throat works around the swell of emotion. “Green, Mistress.”
You cup his cheek with your clean hand, brushing your thumb over the curve of his cheekbone.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” he breathes. “Better than okay. I… I missed this. Missed you.”
The honesty in his voice carves right through you, and for a moment, the second time today, you falter. The hard edges soften. The roles blur. Your fingers slide into his hair and your lips meet his in a kiss that’s less command and more confession.
You whisper his name like a prayer. He whispers yours back like he’s scared it’ll disappear.
“Did I push too far?” you murmur, eyes searching.
Jungkook shakes his head immediately, pressing into your palm like a cat begging for affection.
“No. Please don’t hold back with me. I need this. I need you.”
You nod slowly, exhale against his jaw.
“Then I’ll take care of you. Just like always.”
You coax him to sit up so you can massage his shoulders and rub balm over the light marks left by the cuffs. He leans into every touch, humming softly, melting back against your body when you cradle him from behind. His hands come up to hold your forearms where they cross his chest, grounding himself in your presence.
“Thank you,” he whispers again, voice cracking with how much he means it.
You smile, lips brushing the shell of his ear.
“My good boy,” you whisper.
And just like that—he shudders again. Moans at the praise, and his cock twitches back to life, still so responsive, so eager to please.
You notice, of course. You always notice.
“Looks like someone’s ready again,” you murmur, dragging your nails lightly down his torso until he’s shivering in your grasp.
Jungkook whines.
“Yes, Mistress. Please…”
You smile against his throat, kissing your way down his pulse point.
“Then hands back behind your head. Knees spread. Stay still while I decide what I want to do with you next.”
He obeys instantly. Because he always does.
He can’t see you.
The blindfold hugs snug across his eyes, cutting off the last of the ambient light. His breathing slows, deepens, as he settles back into submission. The sound of the drawer opening sharpens every nerve. The soft clink of buckles, the whisper of leather.
He knows what’s coming.
And he wants it.
He kneels again, this time on the bed, wrists bound behind his back in the new cuffs you’ve buckled together. His chest rises and falls with anticipation, muscles flexing as he adjusts to the vulnerable position.
You take your time.
You always do.
He hears you step around him, feels the shift of air as you circle. Every molecule of him is attuned to your presence. The soft click of your heels. The slight change in the mattress when you climb up behind him.
And then—smack.
He jerks, breath catching in his throat as your hand lands clean across his ass. Not too hard or light. Just enough to make his cock throb where it hangs heavy between his thighs.
He moans. Instinctively shifts forward.
You click your tongue.
“Back in place, Jungkook.”
“Yes, Mistress,” he pants, throat dry.
Another slap, this time to the other cheek. He moans louder, head falling forward. You lean in, tongue dragging over the faint red mark as your fingers squeeze and knead the flesh lovingly.
“Such a responsive boy,” you whisper. “You missed this, didn’t you?”
“Yes, Mistress,” he breathes. “Missed everything.”
You hum, pleased, and trail your fingers lower until you’re gently stroking his cock. He’s rock hard again. A bead of precum paints the tip, smearing down your palm as you tease him with a featherlight grip.
“Mm,” you muse. “So obedient. So needy. And to think you didn’t touch yourself once…”
“I wanted to,” Jungkook admits, voice tight. “Every night. Every time I thought of you. But I—I kept my promise.”
You reward him with another stroke. Another kiss between the shoulder blades. Another slap across his ass that has him biting down on a moan that still escapes.
When you finally unbuckle the cuffs and guide him onto his back, he whimpers at the relief in his arms and the heat still coiling in his belly.
You whisper, “Stay still,” and fasten the cuffs again, this time to the headboard. Then you run your palm over his blindfolded face, your thumb dragging across his parted lips before you slide two fingers into his mouth.
“Suck.”
He does.
Desperately.
And as he sucks, he hears the soft click of the bottle. The squelch of lube. The glide of something familiar being prepped above him. His cock twitches violently in response.
“Color?”
“Green, Mistress,” he gasps, lips wet.
“Good.”
When you finally push his legs up and over your shoulders, lubed fingers pressing inside him with practiced ease, Jungkook’s whole body sings. He groans shamelessly, tears welling beneath the blindfold as he rocks into your touch.
And once you’ve stretched him enough after all this time, you slide the strap on into him.
He cries out at the stretch. At the fullness. At the sound of your moan as you bottom out inside him. He never thought he could feel owned and worshipped at the same time, but here he is, spread and trembling and completely yours.
You fuck him slow at first. Deliberate. Measured. His ankles tremble on your shoulders, bound wrists yanking at the cuffs, head thrown back as you fuck him deeper with each thrust.
“God, you feel perfect like this,” you murmur, hands braced on his hips. “Taking me so well. Being so good for me.”
He sobs out a moan, completely undone.
“Say it,” you command softly. “Say who owns you.”
“You do,” he cries. “You own me, Mistress. Only you.”
You reward him with a sharper thrust, angling just right so the dildo taps against his prostate until he’s wailing through gritted teeth.
He doesn’t last long.
Between your rhythm, the slap of skin, the filthy praise pouring from your mouth, and the ache of need finally being met, Jungkook cums untouched and without warning, cock spurting over his abs and chest, whole body trembling like a man possessed.
And you don’t stop.
You slow down, soften your grip, and fuck him through every aftershock like you have all the time in the world.
The cuffs creak softly as his wrists tug against the headboard.
He’s panting hard, blindfold still in place, cum cooling on his abdomen, thighs trembling from the force of his orgasm.
Silence stretches.
Too long.
Your strap has already slid out of him, your touch no longer bracing his hips.
And Jungkook’s stomach knots.
He hadn’t meant to. He swore he’d last. Swore he’d hold on until you told him to let go. That’s what a good boy does. That’s what your good boy would do.
But he didn’t.
“Fuck,” he breathes, voice shaking. “Mistress—”
Still, no touch. No praise. Just quiet.
“I didn’t mean to—I didn’t want to…” His words falter as panic creeps in. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
You’re still watching him, silent and still. It’s not punishment, not truly, but it’s your favorite kind of discipline: space to think.
Jungkook’s voice cracks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to finish without permission.”
The desperation threads between each syllable like a plea.
“I just— It’s been so long, I tried—but you feel so good, you’re always so good to me, I just—”
He cuts himself off with a gasp when your fingers glide up his trembling thigh, smearing through his own release to press gently over his still hard cock.
“Do you think good boys cum without asking?”
“No, Mistress,” he whispers.
“So what does that make you?”
His breath catches. “A bad boy.”
“Mm. You didn’t used to be,” you hum. “I guess the military made you forget your place.”
“No!” The panic returns. “I remember. I remember everything. Please let me make it up to you. Please let me touch you—please let me taste you—please—”
You chuckle softly, cruel in the gentlest way.
“Oh, now you remember who you are.”
He nods quickly under the blindfold. “Yes, Mistress. Always yours. I never forgot. I swear.”
You loosen the cuffs slowly, not with mercy, but with intent. Dragging out the anticipation until Jungkook is free but still stays put. He doesn’t dare move without instruction. He wouldn’t.
“On your knees,” you say quietly.
He scrambles upright, kneeling between your legs at the edge of the bed, the blindfold still in place, chest heaving, body flushed and sticky with sweat and cum.
Your voice softens as you tilt his chin up.
“Look at you,” you murmur. “All messy and desperate… begging just to touch me.”
“Yes,” he breathes. “Please let me. I need you. I need to make you feel good. I missed your taste. I thought about it every night.”
You hum, pleased. “Every night?”
“Every night, Mistress.”
You finally remove the blindfold.
Jungkook blinks through the low light, eyes adjusting quickly to find you sitting on the bed in front of him. Nude, glistening, your thighs parted in invitation, your expression cool but undeniably pleased.
His mouth waters instantly.
“Show me,” you whisper. “Show me how much you missed me.”
He doesn’t hesitate.
Jungkook leans in, kisses first. Long, hungry kisses to the inside of your thighs, your hips, the softness of your belly. It’s worshipful. Apologetic. Eager.
Then his tongue finds you again.
And everything else melts away.
He moans against your pussy, tongue dragging through your folds like he’s starving. Like this is his last meal. His hands grip your thighs, squeezing gently as he buries his face between your legs, nose bumping your clit, mouth licking and sucking with deep, unrelenting focus.
You sigh, threading your fingers through his hair. “That’s it,” you murmur. “There’s my good boy.”
The sound he makes is practically a sob.
He doesn’t stop.
Not even when his jaw begins to ache. Not even when his cock twitches back to life, heavy and needy between his legs. All that matters now is you and your pleasure, your satisfaction, your forgiveness.
When you cum, thighs trembling around his head, fingers fisting his hair, your cries like music in his ears, Jungkook moans so loud it vibrates against you.
And still, he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t stop licking even after you come. If anything, your orgasm makes him hungrier.
Your thighs clamp around his head as you ride out the high, trembling with every flick of his tongue, every suck to your clit, every whispered moan from his lips that vibrates right through you.
But then he changes it up, just slightly.
You feel the brush of his fingers against your inner thigh, slow and cautious at first. One hand slips under to support your ass, the other glides up between your folds, slippery with the mess he’s already made of you. His mouth never leaves your pussy, not for a second, as he presses one finger in.
Then another.
You gasp, hips twitching. He crooks them gently, finding your spot almost immediately, tongue still lapping softly at your clit.
“Fuck, Jungkook—” you breathe, your head tipping back, a sharp moan spilling from your lips.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your pussy, so low it’s more breath than sound. “I’m sorry for being bad, for finishing without permission. I promise I’ll be good, I’ll be so good for you—just let me make you feel good again, Mistress. Please.”
You grip his hair, yanking slightly as your orgasm builds again, even faster this time with his fingers curling just right, his lips sealing around your clit like he knows what you need before you even ask.
“I need to make it up to you,” he whines, voice tight with emotion. “I’ll do anything.”
Your orgasm tears through you like a wave, loud and messy and soaked. You jerk against his mouth, grinding down as your cries echo off the bedroom walls. Jungkook groans, drinking in every second, like the sound of your pleasure is the absolution he’s been begging for.
When you finally start to come down, body trembling and thighs slick, your chest heaving, Jungkook doesn’t retreat. He lifts his head slowly, mouth and chin wet with you, eyes wild with devotion and need.
And then you feel it.
His cock, thick and hard like velvet wrapped steel, nudging against your pussy.
He’s rocking into you gently, barely restrained, the tip of his cock bumping your clit with every roll of his hips. Just enough friction to make you moan. Just enough to torture him.
“I need you,” he pleads, lips brushing your inner thigh. “Please, Mistress. Please let me inside. Let me make you feel good—let me show you I’m still yours. That I never stopped being yours.”
Your silence nearly undoes him.
He keeps going anyway.
“Please… Please… I’ll beg for the rest of my life if I have to,” he says, voice cracking. “I need to feel you around me—I need to feel you.”
You wait until he’s on the edge of unraveling, his cock glazed in your slick, his body shaking with how badly he wants it.
Then—
“You may.”
That’s all you say.
But it shatters something inside him.
Jungkook growls, fingers curling into the sheets as he lines himself up and sinks in, balls deep in one slow, shaking thrust.
“Oh my fucking god,” he gasps, body folding over yours, chest trembling, mouth slack. “So warm… so tight… I missed this—I missed you.”
His restraint breaks.
He starts to move, fucking you like a man possessed. Each thrust is deep, deliberate, full of that intoxicating blend of apology and addiction. He ruts into you with abandon, pressing kisses to your face, your throat, your breasts, your mouth, mumbling filth and praise between gasps.
“So good… so perfect… my goddess… my everything…”
You clench around him and he shudders, hips stuttering as your nails drag down his back.
“I’ll never cum without permission again,” he groans. “I’ll be the best boy, I swear. Just don’t stop. Please don’t stop needing me.”
Your reply is a moan, breathless and broken, and Jungkook takes it as gospel.
He keeps going until you’re shaking again, the coil tightening in your gut again. And this time, when you come, his name is the only thing on your lips.
You roll him gently off of you and onto his back, taking care not to jostle him too quickly. His breath catches. Still shaky, still caught somewhere between release and overwhelm, and you straddle his lap with slow intention, your thighs settling to either side of his warm, trembling body.
Your palms cup his face, thumbs brushing away the damp sheen across his cheeks and brow. His skin is flushed, pink with effort and emotion, eyes shut tight like he’s trying to trap something inside.
“Koo,” you whisper, voice low and laced with concern. You lean in, pressing a soft kiss to the center of his forehead. “Baby. Look at me.”
His lashes flutter. His eyes open.
And the moment they meet yours, something inside him breaks open.
Not violently, there’s no sob, no collapse, but a gentle crumbling. Like a final wall finally lowering. Like something tender and fragile unfolding after being kept hidden for too long.
“I’m okay,” he croaks, though his voice trembles. “I just… you’re here. I’m here. No more counting days. No more waiting. No more sleeping on a thin mattress thinking about you until I pass out.”
You nod slowly, a lump swelling in your throat as you lower your forehead to his. Your fingers slip into his sweaty hair, stroking through the strands as your nose brushes his.
“I’m so happy you’re home,” you murmur, lips brushing against his as you speak. “So happy you’re safe. That I can touch you… hold you. Hear you breathe beside me.”
He gives a small, watery laugh. “You were always the only thing that felt real. Everything else was just noise. I kept thinking if I just made it through one more week… one more day… I’d get to feel this again.”
Your lips find his. Your mouths molding together like they’d been waiting for this exact fit all along.
And then, without a word, he guides himself back inside you.
There’s no rush, no power play, no teasing or edge of dominance. Just the slow, aching stretch of being joined again as he gasps quietly beneath you and your fingers clutch at his shoulders like you’ll float away without the anchor of his body.
You both moan in tandem, foreheads still pressed together. He holds you close, palms cradling your hips, his thumbs tracing the softness of your skin with a kind of awestruck gentleness that makes your chest squeeze tight.
You move together slowly. Naturally. The pace isn’t dictated by pleasure, but by need. By the quiet, shared desire to savor this moment.
His hands drift upward, one settling at the curve of your spine, the other cupping your jaw as if to keep you from vanishing.
You’re both so close it’s hard to tell whose breath is whose. Whose heartbeat thunders louder. Your moans mix into the same air. Your warmth curls around him like a prayer answered.
“I love you,” he breathes suddenly, like the words slipped from his chest without permission.
Your hands tighten in his hair, your hips grinding down, your body trembling around him.
“Cum for me,” you whisper, voice hoarse with love. “Let go, baby. I’ve got you.”
He sobs as he comes. Quiet, strangled, drawn from someplace deep and private. The kind of release that feels like surrender. The kind of release that feels like home.
You follow not long after, the warmth of him inside you and the raw emotion in his eyes unraveling you in the most beautiful way. Your body pulses around him, and for a moment, the two of you just hold each other.
And when the world returns in slow focus, the sound of your shared breaths, the heat between your bodies, the tremor in his hands as he runs them along your waist, you know nothing else has ever felt more right.
You both stay still for a long time, hearts hammering, limbs tangled. The heat between your bodies slowly cools into something gentle, something quiet. It’s not awkward or heavy. It’s peace. Relief. A long held breath finally exhaled.
Eventually, you run your fingers down his spine, murmuring, “Come on, baby. Let’s shower.”
Jungkook makes a small sound, something halfway between a hum and a pout, before nodding. “Okay.”
He moves slowly, almost reluctantly, as you guide him into the bathroom.
The soft light of the sconces glows against the marble tile and fogs the mirror as you turn on the water. Jungkook stands behind you, hands ghosting your hips as he watches the steam rise. You glance at him in the mirror and smile, then reach back and lace your fingers through his.
When the water is warm enough, you both step in.
You guide him under the stream first, letting it cascade over his hair and shoulders, rinsing away the sweat and salt of everything you just shared.
Despite being the one who served eighteen long months, who grew broader and more powerful in your absence, Jungkook melts into you like he’s the one being protected. He bends down so his forehead tucks into the curve of your neck. His arms encircle your waist. And he doesn’t let go.
You let the water soak your hair and his, then reach for the shampoo. He stays still as you lather your hands and thread your fingers into his dark, wet strands. His breath hitches, chest rising and falling in slow rhythm as your nails lightly scratch his scalp. You massage him gently, murmuring as you work.
“So good, baby. You’ve been so, so good for me. Even when you were bad.”
Jungkook exhales a soft whimper, burying his face deeper into your skin.
“You followed every command,” you whisper against his ear. “Took everything I gave you. Didn’t stop once, even when it got hard.”
He clings to you tighter.
“And you came home to me.” You tilt his head back and rinse the suds away. “You made it back. I’m so proud of you.”
Jungkook sniffles but says nothing, letting the praise settle deep in his bones as you move to clean the rest of him. He stands obedient and still, but every time you lean in to scrub his chest or run the washcloth down his thighs, his hands find some part of you to hold—your hip, your lower back, your shoulder. As if to anchor himself. As if to remind his body you’re real.
You wash yourself quickly once he’s done, and when you shut off the water, Jungkook instantly reaches for the towel and wraps you in it before grabbing one for himself.
You dry off together in the quiet, exchanging soft touches and even softer smiles. And when you’re both finished, he swoops you into his arms with no warning, bridal style, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
You laugh against his chest, draping your arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”
“Carrying my entire world to bed,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple.
You nuzzle into him, letting your eyes flutter shut for a moment. “I missed you so much.”
“I know,” he whispers. “I missed you more.”
He carries you to bed and lays you down carefully, pulling the thick comforter up over you both before sliding in beside you. His arms wrap around you immediately, his body curling behind yours like he can’t stand to let there be any space between you. One of his legs hooks over yours. One arm slips under your neck, the other drapes over your waist.
You both lie like that, heartbeats slowly syncing, breaths easing into a shared rhythm.
“Are you really here?” he asks quietly, voice gravelly with exhaustion. “This isn’t… a dream?”
You reach back and cup his cheek, guiding his lips to yours in a soft, lingering kiss. “I’m here. You’re here. We’re okay.”
His grip on you tightens. “I never want to leave again.”
“You won’t have to,” you promise. “No more bases. No more night shifts. No more rationed phone calls.”
“Just us,” he breathes. “Just us.”
You nod and kiss him again.
“I love you,” he murmurs, the words feather light against your skin. “So much.”
“I love you, too.”
And then, finally, your eyes slip closed.
Jungkook’s breath warms the back of your neck. His thumb rubs lazy circles into your hip. And as the quiet of the room wraps around you, you fall asleep in his arms—safe, sated, and whole.
Home.
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postracehair · 3 months ago
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breaking zone
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max verstappen x reader | 1.1k
max teaches you how to use his racing simulator.
cw: flirty fun, allusions to sexy fun, a lot of vague statements about the sim cause i don't know a damn thing
a/n: this came from a request! thank you, anon! sorry about the three pics of max up top instead of something aesthetic. i couldn't help it!
EDIT: found this in my drafts, too. wrote it aaaaages ago. have it for the no-race weekend.
--
Max is the one who suggests it.
"I don't want to break it," you protest. "You need that thing."
He rolls his eyes. "You won't," he says. "I just want to show you how it works."
You're on his couch, reading. He's just finished a stream and clearly has some energy from it -- which is why he's suggested, out of the blue, that you try his racing simulator.
There are some drawbacks to going along with his plan. First of all, you're very comfortable where you are. Second of all, you really just want him to lie down with you and watch a movie. He is a potent mix of adorable and devastatingly attractive in his low-slung sweatpants and Puma t-shirt. He's even wearing the glasses that rarely see the light of day.
Damn him.
"Alright," you groan. "Fine."
Max grins with his victory and tugs you off the couch and into his office.
"I'm not going to be good at it. Remember how the Playstation adventure went?"
You'd tried playing F1 2024 on Max's console. It became clear very quickly that you did not quite know how to get the hang of turning around the circuit without hitting other cars.
"Eh, you'd get better if you practiced," Max says. It's a combination of the somewhat undeserved unwavering confidence he has in you because he loves you, and the underestimation of a regular person trying to do his, in fact, very difficult job. But you let him think so.
"Sure, Max."
He turns on the monitors and boots up the sim system. It's maybe the most intimidating setup you've ever seen. Three huge screens curving in a half-circle around the seat, and another smaller one on top of the center screen. The wheel is like an oval dinner plate with so many buttons you almost laugh. You've seen it before, of course, but the idea that you're going to use that thing? Hilarious.
"You're going to sit here," Max says, patting the back of the chair. "Let's start with that."
He beckons you over and you gingerly slide down into the mock-seat. You misjudge how low it is by a few inches and plop down with a yelp.
"Jesus," you say. "This is so much lower then I thought it would be. There go my fantasies of having sex in your car."
"Your what?" Max sputters. His cheeks are red and you wink up at him. "I have other cars," he adds.
"I know," you laugh. "Teach me this, first."
Max sighs like the most put-upon man in the world and crouches down next to the chair so he's more eye level. His voice is right by your ear when he says, "Now, put your feet on the pedals. Do yo see them?"
You look under the screens and see what he's talking about. You stretch your legs and find yourself in a much tighter position than you expected, knees close to your chest and back at an angle.
"This is not comfortable," you grumble. "My abs already hurt."
"All the training isn't just for show, you know," Max teases.
"Yeah, yeah," you say. "You're strong and handsome and a WorldChampion. I know. Now tell me how to work this thing."
You gesture at the nightmare of a steering wheel.
"Okay," Max begins. "So, left to right, you have the radio button --"
Max does what he does best: explain. You already knew he was a good teacher, but to be on the receiving end of his knowledge about the thing he loves most and is brilliant at is kind of thrilling. Worth getting up the couch for, at least. He explains the buttons, the knobs, the clutch paddles. The tyre status, the DRS, the flag indicators.
You retain probably a quarter of it.
"And this is set up differently by each team?" you mutter. "Shit, how do you guys do this?"
He smirks. "Well, not everyone does it very well."
"Max."
"Time and training, liefje," he says. "If you had both of those, you could learn."
"Good thing I like listening to you explain it," you sigh. "It's hot."
Max clears his throat. "Flirting isn't going to get you out of trying it at least once."
"Fire it up, then," you goad him. "We'll see what it might get me after."
His hand darts out to squeeze your thigh, golden hairs on his wrist shining in the sunlit room, and then he stands. He fiddles with the program for a minute and then all three screens light up and you're basically in a Formula 1 car.
"This is Zandvoort," he says.
"Your track?"
"Mhm," he hums. "Figured you could start somewhere you know."
Know is a bit of an exaggeration -- you've been there with him more than once and even walked the track with him during race weekend.
"If you say so," you mutter. You look behind you and find him standing with his arms crossed, smirk firmly in place.
"Well, start it up, then."
As you predicted, the entire venture goes horribly. If this was a real car, they'd take away your license and ban you from setting foot on a racetrack ever again.
But this is your boyfriend's racing simulator. And he is a world champion as well as in love with you, so it's not as bad as that. He's patient -- more than you expected him to be, honestly -- and gentle with his instructions. He doesn't chastise you for things you don't know, instead coaching you to think about one thing at a time. As the laps go on you manage to achieve a low-level form of cohesion between your feet on the pedals and your steering.
It's fun. It's fun to have Max at your shoulder, his constant stream of commentary mingled with praise for your incredibly mediocre ability to follow his directions. It's fun to understand the thing he does all the time, the thing he is so good at, a little better. Sitting in the chair is a little like being inside his head.
You finish another lap almost in stitches from how hard you're laughing, Max's chuckles making it even worse.
"That certainly does not deserve a podium," you say, gasping. "God, get me out of this thing."
You pull your legs from the pedals, abdominal muscles aching, and Max maneuvers himself so it can grab your forearms and tug you up.
"I think you deserve a reward, anyway," Max says. You face him and find a neutral expression apart from a quirked eyebrow.
"Oh, yeah?" you muse. "What would that be?"
He tugs you a little closer. "I can think of some things."
Your noses brush. "Like what?" you ask, a little breathless. "Do you want to show me a lap?"
"No," he whispers, lips so close they brush yours as he talks. "I want to show you something else."
He grabs your hand and tugs to towards the bedroom. 
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staticsoft · 10 months ago
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growing pains — ellie williams
ellie williams x f reader
7k
fluff, angst, smut >O<
ellie if nothing bad happened to her ever, childhood friends to acquaintances(?) to lovers, longing, joel is involved, ellie is a DWEEB! but so are you, car sex, classic misunderstandings
to the lovely folks that asked to be tagged, i hope this meets your expectations… i am terrified of failing you: @macaroni676 @d3sperationn @g3latin
beta read by @heartofrhea my best friend my apologies for being cringelord
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The universe can be so cruel. 
You sit at the edge of the curb, curling your legs to yourself to feel less vulnerable. Your phone rolls in your hand, tears of frustration prickling at your eyes. You probably should’ve known better. Well— you do know better. That sinking, intuitive feeling had been swirling in the center of your stomach all night, but you had let your desperation and loneliness take ahold of you. 
You had agreed to go out with some friends and some friends of friends; people you didn’t know jackshit about, but hung out with anyway. You had hoped you didn’t reek of seclusion too bad, feeling like a wounded animal in a crowd of predators. 
But your friends and their friends didn’t really care. They had pulled away from you in the club, losing you to flashing lights and crowded bodies. You searched up and down, called their names in the dingy bathrooms, and even asked the bartender. No dice; you were here to party alone. Now what was the point of even coming along?
Silly.
You initially opted to order an Uber to just get the fuck off the street already, but hey— it’s a Friday night and finals are over. The prices listed cost more than six different coffee runs, and there’s no way you’d be giving those up. 
It’s how you end up sitting on the curb and fervently wiping your tears away, cringing when you remember your hands had been touching all the club door handles and god knows what else. You feel dirty, forgotten. 
You unlock your phone and dim the brightness— the stupid thing almost all out of battery— and turn to what seems to be a last resort, an option that you’ve buried away at the back of your mind for years now.
Pressing your phone to your ear, you can’t help but sigh as the line rings repeatedly, almost positive that you’re completely out of luck. 
It falls silent for a second before there’s faint rustling on the other side, and a voice so familiar, so painful to hear, questions you softly. 
“Ellie,” you say breathlessly; from fatigue or relief, you’re not sure anymore. “Can you come get me?” 
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Becoming friends with Ellie Williams was almost too easy. 
That’s just how she is as a person. So easy to be around; her voice and twinkling laugh showing no threat. 
It began with Mrs. Sullivan’s freshman class seating chart; a table of four with you, Ellie, and two other boys who were too preoccupied with copying off each other’s notes half the time for you to even remember their names. You mostly kept to yourself as a weird adolescent, the onslaught of teenage hormones and emotions forcing you into your own little world. 
Ellie, on the other hand, was different. She had noticed the front page cover of Savage Starlight slipped into the front sleeve of your binder, the edges frayed and jagged as if you had actually ripped it off. She was almost offended at the sight of such a careless pull, but found the emotion wavering once she realized you read the comics just like her. 
“Hey! No way!” she had exclaimed with a growing smile, her eyes lit up. She had half a mind to just reach over and take your binder, fingers skimming over the glossy cover. She stopped herself mid-way, mind racing before she asked with just as much glee, “Can I see? I don’t think I’ve been able to get ahold of that edition yet.” 
Your short-lived conversations about Savage Starlight began to transform into lunchroom giggle sessions and bike rides on the way home. She was so easy to fall into; it was almost like she had a part of herself that was reserved just for you, eager for your arrival.
The thing about your dynamic was that it was so intricately woven over time, each thread of yourself intertwining with her own as you came to know each other better. Unabashed adoration and excitement with every laugh, with every moment of eye contact across the classroom and dinner table at home: a twinkle of unwavering youth and closeness.
And the thing was, when it came to you, Ellie was not prideful at all. She would openly admit any given moment that there had to be a hole in her heart that was in the shape of you. The two of you fit so nicely in each other’s lives, slipping into a familiar rhythm that almost seemed karmic, even at such a young age. While you were surrounded by other girls your age navigating their own pent up emotions and typical coming-of-age realizations, turning against each other and whispering dirty secrets, Ellie only seemed to cling onto you— hanging onto your every word with sincerity and trust.
It didn’t take long before Ellie began to invite you over to sleepovers, which was new territory for both her and Joel. He was already a little awkward as-is, navigating life with a teenage girl who had the same foul mouth and temperament as he.
So when you came around, greeting him with little smiles and kind language, he couldn’t help but feel his heart sway in relief, happy that Ellie has someone like you in her life. 
You’d tumble off your bikes, leaving them strewn across the front yard, crushing the grass he labored so hard over. But he didn’t mind, relieved to see the two of you arrive in one piece, losing yourself in video game releases and comic book pages as you both sat in her bedroom. 
Joel became a sort of fly on the wall for you two, ever-present as you were fairly comfortable in their home. Tuning the both of you in and out, listening closely for anything that may alarm him (which, never happened). Sitting across the both of you at the dinner table, serving up a quick and easy bowl of Hamburger Helper to you two. He’d glance at the two of you from under his eyelashes, watching how either you or Ellie would lean into each other as you splayed out homework sheets on the table, muttering to each other in curiosity. The two of you may have been better off sharing a single chair, he’d think to himself in amusement. 
Again, your presence in Ellie’s life and in his home never worried him. It became routine for him as well, watching the two of you bike up the block together almost every day after school. 
One hot summer afternoon, he stood on the porch, prying off the entrance screen door in an attempt to replace it, the critters from the greenbelt nearby winning at their efforts to nibble away at the material. 
From afar, he could hear the growing sound of your chattering, your bike chains clicking repeatedly as you breezed down the sidewalk. He glanced over his shoulder, watching as you two fought amicably, reaching out to each other in a playful attempt to push the other off their bike. He chuckled to himself and turned his gaze back to the screen door, fingers prying at the edges. 
Behind him, Ellie reached a little too far to the side, fingers brushing against your arm before she toppled over sideways off her bike. She collapsed with a laugh-yelp, swearing at you in a way that made you burst out laughing, your shoes dragging across the concrete to stop your bike. 
You hopped off your seat, carelessly letting it fall to the side as you approached Ellie, laughing at her as she pushed herself off the ground. 
“You idiot,” you breathed out in between laughs, nearly folding in on yourself as the incident repeated in your mind. 
“Dude!” she scolded lightheartedly, trying to feign annoyance, and of course failing. She stuck out her arm to show you a deep scrape right above her elbow. “This shit burns.” 
You caught your breath and stepped closer, eyeing the scrape. It was rather gnarly, and you inwardly winced at yourself knowing it was probably going to scab horribly.
“Damn,” you muttered to yourself, holding her arm and twisting it to get a better look. Joel eyed the way you two interacted, pulling away from his task as he glimpsed the bloody splotch on Ellie’s elbow. 
From where he was, he couldn’t exactly make out the words that you two exchanged, your voices lowered significantly. From the look of it, you were offering an apology. He didn’t catch the way you smiled up at her apologetically, but he was positive that his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him when you leaned in and placed a harmless, healing kiss onto her arm, right above the scrape.
It was, in reality, lighthearted and childish. A testament to your playfulness, your eagerness to please Ellie’s heart. 
And although Ellie didn’t realize it, there was a flicker of emotion that crossed her face. A change in her eyes; in the way that she looked at you. It flew over your head, too; busy smiling up at her, pulling her closer with the strength of the sun’s gravity. 
But Joel noticed. He caught this sudden change, this glimmer on Ellie’s face. He felt the complexities of youth and new emotion washing over him again, a short chuckle leaving his lips as he turned away, focusing back on fixing the screen door. 
Later that night, he pulled Ellie aside. 
“Hey, kid. I’m gonna need you to keep the door open when she’s around, alright?”
“What?” Ellie asked, utterly oblivious. A look of distaste flittered across her features. 
He was trying to remain as nonchalant as possible, knowing all too well that if he pushed too hard or looked too stern, Ellie would just defy him out of her own stubborn nature. He folded some blankets over the couch, eyes avoiding hers. “Just keep it open, Ellie.” 
She groaned in annoyance and threw her head back, hands falling to her sides. She looked truly exasperated, confused with this sudden change in house rules. 
That night, as the door remained cracked open, Joel walked by Ellie’s bedroom to sort some towels in the hallway closet. His ears picked up her frustrated tone; “…wants me to leave the door open now. Never heard of a rule as stupid as that, but whatever.” 
You giggled calmly, then fell silent for a second. “It’s okay. My mom has that rule too, for my brother and his girlfriend.” 
And he could almost hear the way Ellie’s face scrunched up, a confused groan escaping her again. She failed to reply, and the topic at hand was dropped as soon as you leaned over to her and showed her a page from a new comic, rambling on about how the plot hole in this series was diabolical. 
He silently walked away, mind wandering as he tried to think about how to approach this blooming situation, a flicker of both hope and protection illuminating in his chest. 
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It was junior year of high school when the foundation of your friendship began to split, allowing something else to slip into it. Something sneaky, deceitful, something that constantly rendered you speechless and warm. 
You no longer rode your bikes or shared comic books; you were much too old for that now! Ellie had just gotten her license, a little too eager to drive Joel’s old beat up truck around with you in the passenger seat. And, of course, the both of you felt like true teenagers when you finally got phones.
You sat on Ellie’s bed, your knees pulled to your chest as you scrolled through your timeline. You giggled at random collages of pictures and videos, occasionally showing your screen to Ellie in hopes that she would laugh with you. 
She sat on the other end of the bed, a rolled joint held delicately in her fingers. Joel wasn’t home, and her bedroom door was closed. The walls of her bedroom trapped the both of you with the smell of it, but you were slowly learning to not mind it as much. 
When you first received a phone, you found yourself diving into social media, trying to keep up with this sudden boom of a new language, new jokes, new form of communication. Ellie, on the other hand, never touched her phone. If she was using it, it was probably because she was texting you. She refused to engage with any social media at all, meaning you had to sit and explain new jokes and trends to her. Sometimes, she’d try her hand at new lingo or an ongoing joke, but failed so miserably each time that you’d roll over her bedsheets in laughter. 
She pressed the joint to her lips, eyes lazy as she looked at you with longing. The brightness from your screen illuminated your face, emphasizing every beauty mark and freckle. 
“Hey,” she started, voice low. “C’mere.” 
You looked up at her in curiosity, putting your phone down. Your eyes stayed trained on her as you scooted closer, the sides of your legs pressing against hers. 
She wasn’t sure if it was the smoke or the way that you peered up at her that made the center of her body feel warm. She tilted her head away from you as she exhaled, the smoke clouding the space between you two; your heart thundered in your chest. 
“Almost done,” she promised, voice only a little raspy. “Missed you; that thing is hoarding all your attention.” The corners of her mouth twitched. 
“Is not!” you defended, shoving her shoulder with your own. “I’m right here.” 
“Yeah,” she began, her hand coming up to tap at your head playfully. “But you’re not here. Let’s do something; been wanting to play a few rounds of that old zombie game.”
It was how you end up pressed into each other’s sides, hollering and giggling at the tiny TV screen on her bedroom dresser. You played erratically, your fingers relying on nonsensical button smashing to survive. Ellie had to constantly revive you every five minutes, but never mentioned it. 
She missed the way you squealed in anticipation with every new round that started, your eyes wide as you spoke with a constant smile. And, maybe it was from her high, but she was a little too intent in the way that she watched you, her mind feeling far away as she memorized every crevice of your face from the side. 
“Ellie!” you scolded, bringing her out of her daze. “No way you already died, the round just started!” 
She turned her attention back to the screen, scoffing as her player screen was black and white, her character eye-level with the ground. 
“Damn,” she muttered, surprised that she let herself slack off for so long. Too lost in your side profile, the dip of your lips, the way your lashes fluttered in surprise when a zombie attacked you in-game. 
Your character raced towards her, shooting around sloppily before you pressed the buttons to revive her. Her hand found itself on the top of your thigh, right above your knee. Perhaps it was the fogginess of her mind, or a newfound boldness that spurts through her; but she squeezed at your leg, her eyes stuck on the screen. “Thanks,” she says a little too nonchalantly, like that was completely normal. 
You swallowed thickly, your own movements faltering. There was a red ring forming around your player screen, indicating that you were being ruthlessly attacked. 
She snickered, her voice playful. “Focus.” 
The two of you kept on, your mind instead slipping up and focusing a little too hard on the way she touched you. 
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It was senior year when that particular, sneaky something begins to widen the cracks in your relationship. A feeling that blurred your vision, blurred your mind. A feeling that made it impossible to correctly decipher whatever it was that Ellie was going through, and the two of you began to fall apart. 
It mostly started when Ellie got a job at a skate shop. For the most part, it was relaxed, her days consisting of seeing the same people come and go for wheels and decks. But it meant that she had less time to spend with you. 
Initially, she would use every single day off to see you. To invite you over or to laze around on your fluffy duvet, listening to you ramble about your nervousness as graduation was approaching. She would take you out, spoil you rotten with the excitement of her new paychecks, saying fuck all to saving any money. 
And in reality, you didn’t care about the way she spoiled you; granted, it was nice and certainly made your heart beat a certain way, but you mostly valued that she made the effort to see you still. Exchanging silent words and looks across the classroom was no longer sufficing your yearning heart. 
Months passed and Ellie started to become a little bit more focused on balancing school and work; she was set on saving as college approaches, and you figured that the prospect of growing up had changed her. She was set on a college, set on astrophysics, set on buying Joel some land and maybe, hopefully, spoiling you some more in a few years down the line…
But she was maybe a little too caught up in it. She saw you less and less, accidentally channeling her friendly energy to her coworkers. And while you knew there was nothing wrong with that, you couldn’t help the bitter taste that rested on your tongue when she constantly brought up the names of others that you’d heard of countless times. A part of you wanted to turn to her, ask her so pathetically, why can’t you do the same with me?
You started to really feel like you were losing her when you finally got the chance to sit in her room again, the both of you babbling about what you think college will look like. At first, the comfort of her poster-covered walls and space trinkets settled your restless heart, and you had felt at home with her again. 
It wasn’t until she slipped away to use the restroom, leaving her phone on her bed. The screen illuminated as it buzzed once, twice— three times. You should’ve left it alone, thinking maybe it was Joel warning her he’d be late from work. But you leaned over anyway, reading over the text on the screen.
For one, it was a coworker. You recognized the name on the notification; and for some reason, when you realized it was from the only other girl at her workplace, a horrible feeling nestled into your stomach. 
And then you couldn’t help the minor feeling of betrayal as you realized they had been messaging each other on a social media platform; one of the many things Ellie swore up and down that she’d stay away from. 
You didn’t even follow her on there. She never told you. 
It’s silly, you thought. Ellie can do whatever she pleased. But this new turn of events, this tiny thing that was still so out of character; the foundation between you two felt almost completely severed. 
Weeks passed from that day and you them found yourself pulling away. The both of you were accepted into the same college, but you couldn’t even find it in yourself to feel excited. Ellie begged you to fill out your housing papers on time so that the two of you could be roommates, but you purposefully procrastinated. You weren’t sure you could handle such close proximity with her anymore. 
It was with this that the gap between the both of you widened. She didn’t drive you home anymore; it was time to put your own license to use. You two no longer exchanged knowing looks across the room, and you sure as hell didn’t share dinner with Joel anymore, either. You started to forget the exact layout of her bedroom. 
Graduation came and went; you spent it in solitude, not really counting the presence of your family members. Ellie did race up to you and gave you a bone crushing hug, nose burying into your hair, but you were so caught up in it all that you didn’t reciprocate it. 
It was another one of those minor things that widened the gap, made her step away from you both physically and emotionally. 
Even when Joel offhandedly mentioned that he’d be okay with helping you move into your dorm, Ellie made up some excuse on the fly; saying your brother had it covered. She hadn’t even asked you.
So, just like that, summer passed in a blink. You spent your days curled up in your bed, wallowing. Ellie spent it trying to distract herself, losing herself in the presence of coworkers-turned-close-friends. You shamefully stalked her social media, tears pricking at your eyes as she posted places and things that seem so fun, so far away. Places and things that you would’ve liked. 
What hurt more was the constant questioning from your family. Where’s Ellie? What’s she up to?
Hell if you knew. You’d been relying on her story highlights for snippets of her life, and even then they were still so vague. Scenery, music, her guitar. Someone else’s hands holding a deck of cards, videos with incessant giggling in the background. God, you were almost sickly with both wanting and loneliness. 
And, just like that, it was freshman year again. This time, there was no seating chart. No binder for you to slip comic book covers into. No comfort of hopping on your bike and riding home with the only person that matters at your side. 
You were in some sort of emotional purgatory. Your mind blank as you walked around campus, as you stared at your laptop screen in the dead of night, body aching as you slumped over and completed your coursework. The excitement and late nights that you and Ellie had planned were nowhere to be found. 
On the other hand, Ellie busied herself so much, she found that she almost forgot you. Almost. 
Burying herself into her homework, mind trying its hardest to wrap around these new concepts. Partying, though she wasn’t not really there. Smoking some, drinking some. It all still felt lonely. 
She was enjoying this new group of friends, but they didn’t amount to the certain someone that still had their shape, their initials carved into the center of her heart. It was almost unbearable to exist without you; the two of you blending into each other so well, she still found herself saying things the way you did— the intonation, the little lingo, the mannerisms. Your existence was embedded into her own, folding over into her psyche so compact-tight, she knew she could never escape you. 
Ellie assumed that now, at this point, it was about carrying you in her soul even though you were no longer around. The beauty of this life; she’d lost you, but not entirely. Your personality reflecting in her own no matter what, no matter how hard she tried. Her existence was a testament to your own— someone’s been here. Someone’s loved me. 
Weeks passed. Months passed. The both of you constantly shuffling across the same campus, yet never running into each other. Your text messages now buried underneath more recent threads, your shared playlist long forgotten and neglected. 
Winter break hit and the loneliness bit just as much as the cold. When Ellie returned home, she noticed her old bike in the garage, propped up against storage bins, the tires flat. When you returned home, you came back to photos of the both of you, pinned to your wall. Your breath stuttered in your throat as you took them down, throwing them into a box in your closet. 
At the same time, yet separately, the both of you traversed new grounds, and odd fucked up forms of grief. Being in your own space yet running into things that reminded you of someone that you wanted the most. And it wasn’t not like they were gone; yet the both of you let go, deciding that somehow, it was for the better. 
The cycle repeated as the seasons changed. Instead of actually moving on, the both of you just somehow got better at repressing your emotions and acting like nothing happened. Occasionally reflecting on your friendship in a daydream, and then reminding yourself that somehow, it just wasn’t meant to be. It was time to move on— she was never yours. 
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It’s summer now, the end of junior year. Ellie’s at her friend’s place, sipping on a poorly made drink as they play card games and tune into a new season of a trending series. She’s cross-legged on the floor, smiling to herself as her friends talk over each other, slamming the cards down on the coffee table and trying to warp the rules in their own favor. It’s fun, and it’s easy to sit back and watch everything unfold. 
She feels her phone in her back pocket vibrating; assuming it’s Joel just checking up on her, she gets up and excuses herself, slipping out the back porch door. 
When she reaches for her phone, her heart nearly stops beating altogether. In fact, she’s sure it does, as her stomach suddenly twists in confusion and pain, a small cough leaving her lips as she tries to collect herself. Your name shines on her screen as you call, and she’s so sure she’s hallucinating (the hell was in that drink?) until she swallows her surprise and answers. 
And there you are. Breathless, exhausted. Immediately, she knows. Despite it being so long, despite the fact that she’s not entirely sure she knows you anymore, she still recognizes the tone in your voice, recognizes that you needed her. 
“Where are you?” she blurts before you can finish your sentence, her body automatically pacing around. “Send me the address.” 
You’re apologetic, sounding defeated on the other side. You tell her over and over again, I’m sorry.
There’s weight behind the way you say it, like you’re apologizing for something more. Like you’re counting all those times you shut her out, the times you let her slip through your fingers. It’s weak and shaky, but Ellie doesn’t bring it up. She’s too busy slipping on her shoes, keys dangling from her fingers as she mouths to her friends that she’ll see them later. 
She stays with you on the phone the entire time she drives over to get you. She asks, over and over again, if you’re okay and in a safe area, and your heart twists with guilt and shame. You stay planted on the edge of the curb, looking like a wilted flower.
Ellie feels her heart drop to her stomach as she approaches the street that you sit on, her headlights illuminating your pathetic figure. She rolls down the window and pulls over, calling out to you. 
Your eyes are low, the shame blatantly evident on your face. Ellie’s not sure how this will unfold; this isn’t exactly the way she dreamed the two of you would reunite. But that look on your face— Ellie knows it well enough. You’re both 15 again, and you’re trying to hide within your own body somehow. She sees the embarrassment, the bitter feeling that sits at the center of your chest. 
You approach her car and observe at her through the window, eyes avoiding her own. You study her form, how much she’s grown. She’s got a new haircut; it’s shorter— gayer. You can almost imagine yourself laughing at her, can almost imagine twirling the short pieces between your fingers. A patch of black ink catches your eye just then, your gaze landing on her forearm. Since when did she get a tattoo? 
She unlocks the door, silently beckoning you in. You slump into the passenger seat, completely defeated, and she reads your body language well enough to know not to pry at the situation. 
She shifts the car into drive but realizes that she doesn’t even know where you live anymore. The car sits there, idle as she tries to figure out what to ask you and how, then you mutter the directions to your apartment, reading her confusion just as well. 
The sound of Ellie’s music is quiet, practically just a gentle hum as the two of you sit, rigid as you keep your gazes locked on the road ahead. You don’t intend to explain yourself or have some sort of emotional come-to-jesus moment with Ellie, figuring that this situation alone is already stressful enough. 
But, she clears her throat and opens her mouth to speak, eyes still locked on the street signs. “You see the trailer for the new Savage Starlight adaptation?” 
You give her an awkward chuckle. “Yeah,” you say, nearly whispering. “Looked like trash, honestly.”
Ellie laughs at that. Laughs. And god, it’s not the kind of laugh that kills her, but it’s a solid one; an honest one. It sounds so good as it erupts from her chest, the sound of it pouring into your ears and over your heart. Christ. 
Your eyebrow twitches and you have to turn your head to look out the window— you can’t let her see the look on your face. You’re sure your eyes are wide and pooling with some sort of desperation. 
And, of course, Ellie catches it. But she just cares too much about you, so she lets all these little thing slip by to keep you comfortable, to keep you with her for even just a second longer. 
The conversation stays trained on little comments, acknowledging new video game releases and comic book trailers as if the both of you are in high school again, caught up in your nerdy obsessions. The air is thick and steady; the both of you dancing around this thinly-veiled attempt to be normal. The smallest things, such as the sound of her clearing her throat, or her hand coming up to scratch at her cheek, make your skin crawl with anticipation. 
You brace yourself for the ball to drop, holding it so tight to your chest, you’re almost suffocating. 
And while there’s no way you’ll drop this act, desperately clutching onto this feeling of faux normalcy, you know Ellie will. She’s much too blunt and forward focused to let you both sit in this awkward, paper-doll like scenario; steadily crafting your sentences, training your eyes to avoid her. 
And, god— it’s almost too easy to let your body relax, to slip back into your old comfortable patterns with Ellie right next to you. Because she’s never been prideful, and never will be, with the way she smiles to herself and breathes: “I missed you. It’s been… really long,” she says the last part with a bittersweet chuckle. “Too long.” 
Your chest caves. Stupidly, eagerly, almost like it wanted to, this whole time. Your body feels prickly and warm, but you school your face to remain somewhat neutral. 
“Yeah,” you offer dryly. “I’m kind of surprised, actually.” 
At that, Ellie tilts her head, fingers fluttering around the steering wheel. “How come?” 
“That, like, you even showed up. And you’re actually being nice and taking me home. I figured you kinda hated my guts towards the end.”
Ellie’s body has a physical reaction to that, and she taps on the brakes by accident. Not hard enough to send the both of you flying forward, but just enough of a push. You whip your head towards her, watching the way she furrows her eyebrows and shakes her head. 
“Sorry. Not trying to be defensive, but why…” She swallows thickly. “Why would you think that? And of me, of all people?”
She’s so, so gentle with the way she says it. Her voice quiet and low, not wanting to scare you away with this sudden confrontation. She reeks of true curiosity and something else that seems like hurt. 
“I just,” you start, trying to gather your words, then pause, not really recognizing where Ellie is driving. “Hold on. Where are you—?”
She pulls into an empty parking lot, stopping the car at an awkward angle, careless about her parking etiquette. 
“I’m sorry. I really just wanna clarify things,” she breathes out, her tone hurried as if you’ll slip and fade away if she doesn’t explain herself fast enough. “But, if you want me to completely fuck off, I’ll take you home. Just tell me.” 
You remain quiet, looking at her with a face that reads half anxious, half eager. A mix of the two, both emotions so similar in nature that maybe it kind of looks like… excitement. 
Ellie turns her body in her seat so that she can face you directly. “I was never tired of you, ever.” She takes in a slow, deep breath, trying to pace herself and keep her voice steady. With you, she can become passionate very quickly, so she needs to remain cool. “If anything, I thought that you felt that way about me. You stopped comin’ around, didn’t even try to room with me, and completely bailed on my attempts to see you. Did I do something?” 
She’s completely disarmed. Her words woven with nothing but good intentions, the look on her face desperate for some sort of reconciliation. She eyes you carefully, and if you looked hard enough, you may have been able to catch the glimmer of want in her eyes. 
Overcome with emotion, you fumble. Too busy with wanting to just defend yourself, swinging around your sword with your eyes shut in the hopes that you won’t get hurt, you don’t even try to match her energy. 
“Well, yeah,” you bite back, not nearly as careful as she was. “You changed. Everything changed. You made other friends, new friends, and just left me behind,” you accuse sharply, not thinking straight. “You… went behind my back.”
Despite the way that you speak to her, Ellie’s face softens. She knows what this is about. She’s too understanding, too willing to do anything to get you back in her life. As the realization slowly dawns on her, her heart flutters both with yearning and a deeper need. 
It’s how you end up pressed against the backseat of her car, her mouth on yours as her hands roam freely around your body. You shut up rather quickly, mind blurring over with the oncoming release of years of pent-up wanting. You tried to keep arguing back at her, and she did nothing but talk to you in that sweet tone, with eyes that scream I love you.
It isn’t that she’s trying to coax you, or anything. It just happened as you begin to increasingly realize that she is not going to fight you; she just wants you. She needs you to know that, she has to make herself clear. 
Fog creeps up the car windows as she presses her knee in between your legs, rocking against you slowly. 
Ellie’s pacing herself; she’s thought about this a few times, guiltily. But in her mind, it’s always been in her bed, her mind crafting the scene of your body, your little sounds. It was like she had to slap her own hand away from herself sometimes. 
So while this isn’t exactly what she had daydreamed it would be, she still wouldn’t complain. Regardless of the situation, you were pressed into her, panting and sighing in ways that made her mind turn to soppy mush, overrun with desire and emotion. 
And, while she’s set on taking care of you and showing you just how much you meant and still mean to her, she can’t help but want to make you admit it too. 
She pulls back from kissing you, her eyes glazed over as she looks at your face. Holy shit.
Skin so warm, and you already look spent. She swallows, suddenly doubting how long she’ll be able to hold off. 
She bites back a satisfied smile before she dips down again, her face hidden in the crevice between your neck and shoulder, kissing all the way down. 
“Take this off,” she murmurs, fingers pulling at the waistband of your skirt. You do your best to follow her orders, cramped up in the seat, pulling your knees towards yourself in an attempt to shimmy out of the fabric. It catches on your ankle, hanging, and you giggle at the state of the situation. Ellie’s heart melts over itself, beating erratically; she’s going fucking crazy. 
You’ve done nothing but moan, twitch, laugh, and flutter your lashes. She hasn’t even felt you yet, hasn’t even seen your body in its entirety. And she’s gone. 
She almost raises an eyebrow at the sight of your skimpy little underwear, but her question catches in her throat. You were at the club, after all. Something sinks in her stomach at the thought of anyone else seeing you like this, observing the way the fabric clings onto you. 
Her fingers massage at your inner thighs, her knee firm in place as she keeps them set apart. Her digits dance right against your core, pressing against the fabric. You twitch, rolling your hips into her, fingers catching on the seatbelt behind you, gripping on for life. She laughs, but not necessarily at you. 
It feels like it takes her years (well, technically) to push your panties to the side, eyes falling hazy as she stares right into you. You’re so vulnerable, you try shutting your thighs close, but she pushes them apart again. 
“I know,” she hushes you, dipping lower to nip at your lips. “I know.” 
Her fingers trace over your folds, and you think you’re about to explode. You hadn’t expected Ellie to be the type to make this agonizing and painful, but you know you probably deserve it after your showcase of attitude. 
She draws her hand back and brings her fingers up to her mouth, sucking on them nonchalantly. A satisfied sigh escapes her as she finally, finally gets to taste you on her tongue. She lets her hand travel back down, and you turn your head to the side, shutting your eyes in anticipation. 
“Look at me,” she commands softly, stopping her fingers right where you want her. 
You nod, giving her the false promise that you will. Ellie sees right through it, and with her free hand she gently grips onto your face, turning you to make eye contact with her. 
She needed to see your face as she fucked you, she needed to know, after so long of wondering, how you looked when facing pure pleasure. 
Your lashes flutter, eyebrows screwing together as she slips her fingers inside your warmth, pressing the heel of her palm against your clit. She’s gentle in the way she stretches you out, working you through it with such care and patience. 
Ellie revels in the way your chest heaves already, pupils blown out with bliss. She moves her knee and lets you shut your thighs together, trapping her hand in place. 
“This is all you needed, huh?” she teases, her voice only a little prickly, but her smile says otherwise. “For me to touch you like this.” 
You nod silently, too busy biting on your bottom lip and rocking your body onto her fingers to reply. 
“Answer me,” she demands with the same softness, setting the tone. Her gaze is locked onto your face, memorizing every twitch of your brow, every whine that leaves your lips. 
It’s almost ridiculous how brainless you are already, melting beneath her entirely. 
“Needed you,” you manage to breathe out, nodding your head again. “So bad.”
Ellie hisses a swear, and she can’t help the way she leans into you, pressing her body against yours. She curls her fingers inside of you, the palm of her hand nudging at your eager bud. She groans to herself as she feels your walls twitch around her digits, her head dropping low as if she has to stop herself from spiraling. She’s hanging on by a thread; a hair, wanting nothing more than to fuck you senseless. But it’s been too long, and she’s got something to prove to you. 
Her eyes shine as she feels your body grow tense, your wriggling becoming more constant. She slows down her pace, watching closely as your mouth drops, a pout playing at your lips. 
“Please,” you begin, and she smiles. 
“Please what?” 
“Please, fucking just,” you try grinding on her fingers, lashes fluttering. “Oh my god,” you sigh, that little attitude trickling in your tone. 
She scoffs, almost meanly. She stops her movements entirely, fingers falling slack in your pussy. “Yeah? Do it yourself, then.” 
And to her surprise, you do. That attitude is wiped clean from your voice as you whimper pathetically, body rolling, walls fluttering as you try to fuck yourself with her fingers. She stares at you in awe, throat running dry. 
It takes her a second, but she blinks and she’s falling back into you. Watching as you desperately chase your release, bumping your clit onto her hand, and you absentmindedly grab onto her arm, trying to anchor yourself. 
She sucks her teeth and sighs to herself. She had intended to drag this out, to make you beg, to make you say that you were hers all along. But with the way you hold onto her, shamelessly rutting your hips, her name falling off your lips like a prayer— she already knows it’s all true. 
She’s kind enough to start thrusting her fingers again, moaning at the way your slick bundles at your entrance, coating her fingers and slipping down her hand. It’s obscene, but she doesn’t care. In fact, it gives her more of a reason to clean you up afterward. 
“Ellie,” you breathe suddenly, your little prayers becoming less coherent as a certain feeling creeps around, engulfing your body and mind. “I’m gonna cum,” you whine shamelessly, the heat in your stomach spreading lower and lower, your body tingling. 
She leans over you again, watching over your face as your eyes slip shut. 
“Go ahead, baby. Let me hear you.” 
It’s a demand but she still says it so softly, a certain tenderness behind her words. You choke on your own moan, body practically seizing as your thighs tighten, fingers digging into her arm. You chant a repeated I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, and Ellie smiles as you do anyway, your cunt swallowing her fingers with your release. 
Her hand relentlessly slaps against your core, even though you begin to tear up and beg for her to stop. She smiles to herself before she slowly drags her fingers out of you, bringing them back up into her mouth. 
It’s not nearly enough. While you slump back into the seat, panting, body still shaky from such strong sensations, she’s busy maneuvering her body to sit on the floor of the car and propping your legs onto her shoulders. 
You blink as you slowly come back to reality, your mind hazy. 
“Ellie,” you start softly, reaching out your hand. 
She reaches up and intertwines your fingers, eyes locked on your dripping cunt as her voice carries over to your ears. “I’m right here. Can’t let it go to waste.” 
Your eyes roll back, another string of moans escaping you as Ellie shuts her eyes and latches onto your clit, moaning into your pussy. 
The hours of the night escape both of you, becoming lost in each other in the back of her car, cementing your fate. 
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Ellie laughs at your blank expression, her hand rubbing down her face in disbelief. 
“That was so… garbage. Beyond garbage. Landfill levels of trash,” you say weakly, the soft lights of the movie theater reflecting off your face. 
She continues giggling at your side, hand over her mouth in an attempt to be quiet despite the fact that the movie is already over. 
You playfully swat at her arm, turning to her, face ridden with shock. “There’s no way you’re not disappointed! This shit was such a waste of money. We were better off pirating it.” 
She shakes her head and smiles to herself, hand wrapping around your own as she pulls you to stand up with her. “I think it was well worth it; it was, like, funny bad.” 
You stand, wrapping your arm around her own as you two trail down the steps of the theater. You continue picking the movie apart, disdain in your voice. You have a reason to be passionate; this lazy attempt at turning Savage Starlight into a box office success had taken a terrible turn, the movie filled with stupid one-liners and god awful acting. 
You should’ve known; it’s been a month since the trailer dropped— or, since you and Ellie came back together. A month of everything falling into place, the pieces of your individual lives slipping back into the way they used to be. A month of constant, whispered confessions, making up for lost time; lovelorn kisses, touches fueled by years of yearning. Pursuing your lives together again, and of course, falling back into your geeky little habits— the one thing that brought you together in the first place, anyway.
You shouldn’t have walked in with such high expectations after the both of you predicted how awful it was gonna be once you both sat down to rewatch the trailers together. 
As the two of you make it outside of the building, Ellie bites her cheek at the way you continue to ramble, the passion in your voice making her heart swell. There is just too much to adore about you. 
“Hey,” she starts, voice low. 
You raise your eyebrows. “What?”
Ellie nods her chin in the direction of her car, mischief written all over her face. “I know a way to give you a happy ending.”
You groan in annoyance, pushing her away. Your voice rings out and into her ears, settling her restless heart as you scold her, a smile showing through.
“Ellie!”
2K notes · View notes
5sospenguinqueen · 11 months ago
Text
Little League Karting | George Russell x Reader
Summary: Fighting against Lando's big mouth and fans' speculations, George and Yn somehow managed to keep a special moment hidden from the private eye.
Requested: Yes by anon
Warnings: Pregnancy. Swearing, Fluff. Suggestive comments
2023 season. Pinterest pics
F1 Masterlist
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yn_ln just posted
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yn_ln happy anniversary, georgie. here’s to 5 years together. i can’t wait to have at least 50 more with you 
2,992 comments
georgerussell63 happy anniversary, my darling. i’d spend forever with you on that beach 
alex_albon still can’t believe he went on holiday without me
→ landonorris he stopped loving us 5 years ago 
→ georgerussell63 you know you’re always in my heart
→ yn_ln and this is why @/lilymhe and i are running away together 
→ georgerussell63 but, i thought you loved me
user1 another day, another shirtless george pic
mercedesamgf1 the cutest grid couple 
→ landonorris actually that would be me and carlos
→ danielricciardo no it’s me and max
→ yn_ln stop stealing my moment 
charlesleclerc @/georgerussell63 as director of the gpda, i would like you to hear my complaint against your girlfriend posting shirtless pics of you. it has blinded me, thus hindering my ability to drive on sunday
→ yn_ln maybe if you looked at the track more than yourself in the mirror, you would see better
→ charlesleclerc now i’m complaining that she’s hurted my feelings
pierregasly it wouldn’t be a photo dump without shirtless george
user2 so no ring?
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yn_ln just posted
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liked by mercedesamgf1, roscoelovescoco and others
yn_ln my weekend boys
3,850 comments
user3 who’s your favourite
→ yn_ln bono and roscoe 
→ georgerussell63 whoa now. i’ll remember this energy when you want me to stroke your back as you fall asleep
→ mercedesamgf1 toto said he would like to talk to you on thursday
→ yn_ln the boss man knows he has a special place in my heart?
→ mercedesamgf1 the question mark makes that doubtful - toto
lilymhe okay but the fit is serving 
→ yn_ln had to squeeze myself into those jeans. think i need to stop sneaking a macca’s when george isn’t around
→ lilymhe so long as we can keep our cheeky waffle sundays 
→ yn_ln always ;)
→ georgerussell63 excuse me
landonorris fake caption, alex and i aren’t here
→ danielricciardo i think you’ll find i’m her favourite
→ yn_ln my favourite doesn’t race anymore :( 
→ georgerussell63 sweetheart, kimi hasn’t raced for over a year
mercedesamgf1 lewis isn’t happy that you chose the photo that makes him look small
→ yn_ln i haven’t yet mastered photoshop. please pass my condolences to lewis for showing him his actual height 
user4 my favourite thing about y/n’s race weekend posts is seeing how hot she looks in her race day fits 
→ user5 yes because she spends fri and sat in Mercedes merch and then SERVES on sundays 
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formula1 have added a new YouTube video
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user6 not them still being referred to as 2019 rookies like it’s not their 5th year on the grid 
user7 did anyone catch what alex said at the end that made george and lando laugh?
→ user8 no i swear it was edited so we couldn’t hear 
user9 did you guys see the way alex and george looked at each other? they know something! 
→ user10 and the way lando giggled after like he’d done something wrong
user11 not george trying to save himself by saying she’s always in his heart 
→ user12 if i was y/n, i’d be messaging him saying i caught the ick
→ user13 no because even george looked weirded out after saying it
→ user14 lando and alex immediately taking the piss out of him
→ user15 didn’t he say that to alex and lando once?
user16 lando definitely said something he wasn’t supposed to
→ user17 the fear in george and alex’s eyes before they tried to play it off
→ user18 and we can all tell that little league line was bullshit he made up on the spot 
user20 okay so we’re all thinking that one of the grid are having a baby right?
→ user21 the only question is who?
user22 but aside from his brief blunder, the way george spoke about y/n in this 
→ user23 honestly my goal in life is to have a love like theirs
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yn_ln just posted
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liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton and others
yn_ln don’t mind me, just showing off my extensive hoodie collection
3,002 comments 
user1 everyone relax, she’s alive
user2 girl, you can’t vanish for 3 months and then show up just to post hoodies?
user3 i love y/n but i cannot pretend that this is acceptable. she abandoned us for months and no apology
user4 no babe, we need you back in the paddock serving face and body 
landonorris oi, i’ve given you like five and you can’t be bothered- the audacity 
danielricciardo DR3 dominance, baby! 
carlossainz55 smooth operator
user5 love that she posts a lewis one, not a george one
→ user6 i find it odd. she hasn’t posted him in a while and he’s not liked the post 
→ user7 she only posted it 5 hours ago, give the man time
→ user8 but he’s usually always first and no comment?
charlesleclerc wait, i didn’t realise you were taking options from other drivers. can i add to the collection?
→ yn_ln only if it has ‘just an incident’ on it
maxverstappen1 i’ve got one with giant pockets so you can put all your snacks in it
→ yn_ln ladies and gentleman we have a winner! 
→ alex_albon i can’t believe he won
→ yn_ln yeah well he tempted me with pickles and peanut butter
→ oscarpiastri together?
→ yn_ln is that a judging tone! 
→ oscarpiastri no! please don’t cry again
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user9 um why is this hashtag trending. let’s not speak this into existence
user10 okay some of you calling us crazy but george and y/n are one of the more public couples and now we get nothing?
→ user11 i need an interviewer to ask him about her because the way his eyes light up when he talks about her can’t lie to us
→ user12 yes! if the eyes are sad then we know they’re over
albonooo lily asked me to tell you to stop licking the screen
→ lightningmclerc oh so THOSE hormones have kicked in
→ letsgolando they never left, how do you think she ended up in this situation 
→ ynoncrack i am not a horndog! 
→ princessgeorge well…
chili55 please don’t have another child if this is what we have to deal with 
→ ynoncrack have i really been that bad 🥺 george said i haven’t been that hormonal
→ kiksgomes what is wrong with you, carlos! we just got her to stop crying
→ princessgeorge oh no, what’s up, honey?
→ golflils she was upset because your curls looked amazing and she couldn't run her hands through them
→ ynoncrack oh my god, i am a horndog! 
letsgolando all i’m saying, baby russell better be mega adorable after all this
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georgerussell63 and yn_ln just posted
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liked by alex_albon, landonorris and others
georgerussel63 baby russell was born happy and healthy two weeks ago. whilst we settle into life as new parents, please enjoy some baby bump pictures to tide you over
10,499 comments
alex_albon i’m so happy for the two of you and can’t wait to meet mini russell
→ lilymhe you’re just glad y/n won’t be crying on facetime anymore
→ alex_albon that too 
user1 okay but the hand placement wow
→ user2 we all know how they ended up here then lol
lewishamilton much love to the new parents ❤️
user3 oh so the complete opposite of a breakup then 
user4 hang on a second. so not only was y/n pregnant but they've had the baby? parents for real?
user5 how did gossip girl george russell keep this from us
→ user6 especially when he saw us all theorising his breakup
→ georgerussell63 trust me, it was hard
→ yn_ln he wrote a bunch of tweets defending us on a fake account
charles_leclerc congratulations george and y/n. i cannot wait to meet the little one
→ alexandrasaintmleux he's already had a bunch of baby ferrari onesies made
→ alex_albon over my dead body will my godbaby wear those!
williamsracing congratulations. what happy news
→ mercedesamgf1 you can’t have him back
→ yn_ln neither of you can have him over the next month. he’s all mine and bean’s
francisca.cgomes free my girl! those boobs belong to me
→ yn_ln always
→ georgerussell63 @/pierregasly please come get your girl. she's trying to steal mine 
→ pierregasly she’s right though. you don’t need to be groping her like that on main
→ georgerussell63 oh no one asked you, “tripod” 
landonorris oh, thank god. took you long enough to tell the world he was here. keeping it to myself these past few months was giving me wrinkles
→ user7 they’ve had a boy!!!
→ landonorris crap
→ alex_albon well done mate
→ landonorris but i did so well! 
→ user8 omg so it was george and y/n who were expecting when lando made up that bullshit about little league karting
→ landonorris hey! i want to see their kid in a go kart so it wasn’t a total lie
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Tag list
@peachiicherries @rosecentury @leclercsluvs (you mentioned wanting to read this on an ask WEEKS ago and it's taken me forever to write it so i am so sorry!)
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fairene · 1 year ago
Text
one of your girls / ln4, part two
lando norrisxfem!reader
no use of y/n, as always.
part one
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a/n ⋯ I LIED IT'S COMING OUT NOW!!! i sat down for 'bout four hours after work and a family dinner to knock this the fuck OUTTTT. it's shorter than i expected, but this was the best way i could wrap up this supposed 'oneshot'. i hope you all enjoy it. and remember, it is up to YOU for what you are wearing, clothes are intentionally vaguely described for your own viewing pleasure. and tbh, i did not proof read this...don't sue me!!! I JUST WAnted it out asap for everyone@!!! pls don't let it flop!!!
warnings ⋯ SMUT 18+++!!! minors DNI!!!, language, drunk hookup, choking (slight), p in v sex (wrap before you tap!), fingering!(f)receiving, overstimulation, feral lando. sickeningly in love lando, possession, jealousy.
wc ⋯ 13.7k (unedited!)
he hadn’t heard from you in weeks. weeks. it was driving him fucking insane. he didn’t know that the girl would come back, he didn’t know she would be a bitch, and he certainly didn’t know you would react that way. to his ultimate surprise, it was a comfort knowing that you did care. however sick and twisted it was, it told him without using your words, that you wanted something. 
things had been left unsaid between the pair of you for a long time. too long. he was never in the business of guessing your feelings, assuming that you felt one way or another about him. and neither were you. both of you were too fucking stubborn for your own good. neither of you could see what was right in front of you–
each other. 
and that was the worst part for lando. it had him pushing himself harder. faster. to be better to perhaps catch your attention. to win you back through his ability to race. but you didn’t care about that. you didn’t care about how fast he drove his car, didn’t care about the number of podiums he got. you cared about him. but you never let the words fall upon his ears, and that was your first mistake. 
it was the weekend in spain. warm, but not too humid, you traveled with alexandra and the rest of the ferrari hospitality team. you had gotten close to carlos’ girlfriend, rebecca, as well. they were both great company and more times than not, lando had slipped from your mind completely. 
but not for him. 
he was a mess. a wreck without you. guilt consumed him night and day, and he would feel eternally wrought with what could have been. he’s called you, texted you, even had oscar reach out to you, but there was nothing but radio silence and the bolded words ‘read’ beneath his sent messages. it hurt more knowing that you saw him suffering and did nothing about it. 
but he deserved it. he deserved this treatment. he wasn’t going to fight you. he would roll over, belly up like a good boy for you. pay attention to me, his actions would scream. look in my direction. but you didn’t even view his stories on social media anymore. didn’t even like his posts. 
the british driver would be found pacing back and forth, staring hunchback at his phone. oscar would watch him from across the room, legs dangling from the papaya barstool. he hated to see lando this way, but he knew what he did. lando was honest with oscar, hoping to maybe seek advice in his own girlfriend. but lily simply shrugged her shoulders and her expression said enough. 
you did this to yourself. 
but little did you know is that he threw that girl out the moment you left. okay, not literally, but in ever metaphoric way possible. he never contacted her again. he hadn’t contacted any girl, in fact, these past few weeks. he would be isolated with his PR team at every occasion, refusing to even entertain the thought of hitting up a new girl. 
his loyalty to you was suddenly unwavering, but it was too late. 
“mate,” oscar said from where he sat. lando didn’t look up, just hummed, staring at your last text to him. 
‘you’re too sweet,’ 
too sweet. what would you say now? you had replied to a set of merchandise he saved for you, special edition for miami’s grand prix, and that had been it. from you. he had to scroll down through the text chain to reach the bottom. his endless apologies, desperate words, and more apologies. he felt nauseous. sick that he ever treated you that way.
his favorite girl. his girl. 
“she’s here.” 
what? 
lando’s head snapped up, looking frantically around. but there was no sign of you. 
“with alexandra. ferrari paddock.” oscar gestured his phone towards lando. he snatched it from him, letting his eyes fly across the photo. it was a picture of you, rebecca, and alexandra. posted on alexandra’s instagram story. 
you looked…
happy. 
he…
he didn’t know why he was upset by that. he wanted you to feel the same level of anger, sadness, distress, even. but here you were– looking absolutely beautiful with your bright smile. so fucking beautiful. he remembers he was there when you picked out that top. and god, he was right, it’s meant for you. 
lando threw oscar’s phone back at him, and knew this would be a long fucking weekend. 
barcelona’s air had been clean. much cleaner than miami, new york. the decor of the paddock, too, had you thinking and trailing your fingers over the textures. you had done that more– feeling the things around you. you used to do that with lando. but now he was gone, and you had to suffice to other obscurities to lay your fingers upon. 
gone. the word echoed in the chasm of your mind. gone. you didn’t realize the depth of lando’s absence would impact you this much, but that had been a mistake on your part. clearly. an oversight of your intimate relationship. that, eventually, it would end. it would end in flames, crash and burn, and ultimately never recover. as much as you thought, anyways. 
you heard your name being called from the other side of the couch. you glanced up. 
rebecca stared at you expectedly. 
“sorry,” you breathed. “what did you say?” 
rebecca huffed, but repeated herself regardless. “i said that i have a friend with me i want you to meet.” you raised your brows quizzically. “i think you’ll like him.” 
him? him? oh, fuck, here we go. 
as much as you wanted  to breeze past what happened in lando’s monaco apartment, you couldn’t. your feelings, as heavy as they were, weighed you down into the abyss of lando norris’ wellbeing. 
you didn’t sleep with anyone since him. you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. it didn’t feel right, and your own attempt at an orgasm was ultimately futile. 
but you said nothing when rebecca turned, pulling a man from conversation with carlos. he looked confused, but let his eyes settle on you. he relaxed. 
he was a handsome chap. dark hair, dark eyes. tanned skin. fit. he had a grecian nose, one that was slim and curved. not like lando’s, you thought, but brought yourself down to earth and stood. you greeted him with two kisses on the cheek, and his name was raphael. 
“so you are…” his spanish accent was thick and attractive. you couldn’t deny that. “friends with rebecca?”
“that’s right.” you nodded, bringing a bottle of water to your lips to cool down. “you, as well?” 
he shrugged, giving you a ‘so-so’ hand gesture. “carlos, really,” you let out a soft ‘ahh’ and soon realized, too, that this would be a long fucking weekend. 
the day of free practices came and went. so did your time with raphael. he wasn’t a bad conversationalist whatsoever, you were simply not interested. but you made a promise to rebecca this weekend that you would try. try and branch out instead of looking insatiably bored on live television. she was right. you needed to get over this and move on, because lando must’ve, right? he must’ve slept with that girl, given the fact that he didn’t go after you. 
did you expect him to? 
you weren’t sure. you weren’t fucking sure of anything. you weren’t a mindreader for fucks sake. but you saw his text messages. all of them. you made yourself sick with despair every night, rereading them to yourself like the fucking bible. what did you expect him to do for you? crucify himself? maybe. just maybe. 
as you were walking down the pit lane with alexandra at your side, you felt the wafting air of an oncoming storm of people. you glanced around, but alexandra was the one to point it out. 
“uh oh.” 
the papaya suits could be seen from anywhere. it’s not like they were subtle. 
you bristled and stood up straight. fuck, okay. this was happening. he’s walking this way. was he coming toward you? no, don’t be so foolish. but you hoped that he would. 
lando was approaching you, but his eyes were set forward. but when you weren’t bothering to look, he had been staring at you the entire way here. he could spot you from miles away with your countenance, your undying beauty. 
but he didn’t stop to look at you. 
you didn’t either. 
but your hands–
god your hands
they brushed past one another when he swept past your shoulder. his pinky desperately latching to yours before you let him go. you gasped lowly and he heard it, his ears twitching with the sound. but he didn’t stop. he couldn’t. 
if he stopped to turn, he would kiss you out in the open. 
you dared him to.
but you both kept on your way, and the interaction had you fuming. why can’t he care to show up? texts, calls, whatever, didn’t compare to the ability to show up. you knew he was in monaco. you knew exactly when he was there. it wasn’t a fucking secret. 
fuck him.
you didn’t care if you were being a brat. you knew what you put at stake, but you opened your heart to him. and you believed that maybe, just maybe, if that girl hadn’t interrupted, the two of you would be in a very different situation. maybe. but you didn’t let that thought linger. you couldn’t. 
“what was that?” alexandra whispered to you as you both kept walking. 
“nothing.” 
and that’s what you promised yourself it to be. nothing. when in reality, it had been everything. lando had seen you, spotted you from what felt like a mile away with a man lingering at your side. fuck. reality set in for him that you were looking. you were looking elsewhere from him for companionship. it made him fucking sick to his stomach, and he knew that had to change. he was a man on a mission now, a conqueror ready to pillage. 
it was the evening when you found yourself locked away in your hotel room. it was well past ten o’clock, and you were exhausted form today. alexandra had invited you out, but you just couldn’t bring yourself. rebecca prodded away at you, too, insisting that you and raphael hit it off today. he said that he wanted to see you again.
you had thought about it. you really did. 
but you couldn’t. 
you’d been sucked into a tv melodrama in your hotel room when you felt your phone vibrate. someone was calling you. 
you checked the time and raised a brow, lifting your phone to see the all-too-familiar contact card lighting up your face in the ambient lighting of the room. 
lando
you hesitated. 
suddenly your heart was racing, beating rapidly against the cage of your chest, and you felt like a prisoner to your anxiety. you felt it drop to your stomach, feeling queasy, but hit ‘answer call’ anyways. you lifted your phone to your ear, and let out a soft breath. 
“what?” 
your words were bitter, but quiet in the solitude of your room.
“didn’t think you’d answer,” came his raspy voice from the other end. he was breathless, as if he had been running. or fucking some girl. fuck you, you wanted to bite out, but held your tongue. 
“neither did i.” 
that earned you a cheeky laugh from him. he hesitated, too, before breathing. “are you at your hotel?”
you were confused by the question. “yes.” 
“can i see you?” 
his words hit you hard. you fell back against the pillows of your bed, hand coming to rest over your forehead. you sighed with a grumble. “i don’t think that’s a good idea.” 
you could practically feel him wince through the phone. 
“please.”
fuck him and his soft words. his desperate tone, the pity that you felt for him grew. the fact of the matter flew from your head, disappearing with a singular plead from his cracked vocals. he sounded honest. that he truly wanted to see you, and a small part of you wished to reconcile whatever was happening between the two of you. you were not a woman of small touches– you wanted it all, or nothing. 
“okay.”
lando cleared his throat, choking on his breath, exhibiting his initial shock. “i– okay, okay, what room are you in?” 
“610.”
he hung up before you could let out a breath. your phone fell onto your nightwear– a simple baggy shirt and spandex. they were what kept you most comfortable at night. 
your hands raked over your face, pulling your eyelids with it. what were you doing? engaging with him, talking with him over the phone. the long text chains of read messages you had banished him to sat idly on your screen, staring you down with an ambivalence that you quivered before. was this a mistake? should you just pretend you’re–
there was a knock at your door seconds into your thoughts. 
you jumped from your bed, hands raking through your hair. how did he get here so fucking quick? you scrambled around your room, checking yourself in any reflection you could find. fuck, why were you so nervous? how could he possibly make you so riddled with anxiety in a matter of seconds? your heart was in overdrive once again, and you wondered just how much you could take. 
he said your name through the door. weak, pining. you dropped the brush you grabbed in the bathroom instantly, feet soaring over the hardwood floor to open it. when you did, you were face to face with the british driver. 
he wasn’t drunk. that’s a first. the thought crossed your mind only briefly, thinking that you were just a booty call in the late hours of the night. it wouldn’t be the first time. 
lando was disheveled, messy, and the white shirt he wore was ruffled. upon his head was a mclaren hat, concealing his identity from the outside. most importantly, though, that you noticed was how his face was glazed in a sheath of sweat. you cocked a brow at him. 
“did you run here?”
lando shrugged. it felt, in that moment, that things were normal between you two. that all of this…shit washed over for just a second. you felt at home. comfortable. but you cleared your throat and let him walk in, shutting the door behind you. 
you didn’t want to speak to him here. not where he could see your laundry everywhere, pairs of underwear sprawled around so he’d get distracted. not that you expected to fuck him here, though the thought didn’t upset you. fuck, you were in deep. 
you brushed past him, leading him to the small terrace just outside your bedroom. you slid the door open and leaned your back against the railing. he slid the door shut behind the two of you, and he took a seat in one of the wooden picnic chairs. he gawked at you, openly, letting his eyes run over your bare legs beneath the oversized shirt. 
“don’t do that.” you said, breaking the silence between you two. you seemed to rip him out of his dreamscape with a clearing of his throat. 
“do what?” he feigned innocence. though he knew what he was doing. he missed you, lest he verbalize that. 
“look at me,” you breathed, “like that.” 
his brow lifted, still playing dumb. dumb, as if he didn’t want to take you over this railing, ask you to be his. 
“like what?”
you scoffed. 
“like you’re in love with me.” 
ouch. your words bit harder than he thought they would, blood gushing from an open wound in his heart. he let your words settle before he leaned back in the chair, legs spreading as he fiddled with the skin of his thumbs. 
“i wanted to see you.” 
“i know,” you answered. “you saw me. now what?” 
lando shook his head. “don’t do that.” please don’t do that he wanted to say. 
“do what?” it was your turn to play dumb. your turn to pretend that you weren’t doing the same thing. pushing him away was the easiest way to deal with all of your problems. 
“act so cold.” he turned his head away from you, glancing over towards the lights of the city. “giving me frostbite.” 
“lando, what–”
“i’m sorry.” 
huh? you froze, eyes widening as you straightened upright. did you hear him correctly? it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve heard an apology. but this was a first to hear it in person, not in begging text messages half way across the world. 
“what–?”
“for everything. i’m sorry.” his head fell to his hands as he leaned over, gripping at the curls atop his head. you felt the same urge creeping up your spine, your hands feeling empty. you shifted on your feet, stepping a foot closer. 
“why now?”
he perked up, wondering what you meant. 
“why, now, are you sorry?” 
he was speechless. unable to form the words that could answer such a  vague question. but you had an idea, so you thought you’d share. 
“because i was with someone?” raphael. you know that he saw the two of you talking. chatting. maybe an occasional giggle so you could keep him quiet for the rest of the free practices. 
lando began to shake his head. “no, no–” 
“really?”
you stepped into his space, wedging yourself between his thighs. he stared up at you, lost in the reflection of your eyes beneath the starlit sky. his hands found your hips and you let him keep them there, at least for the moment. 
“really.” he promised you. head leaning forward to rest on your stomach. you felt the perch of his nose dig into your skin. your head leaned back, taking a large breath, feeling tears begin to well. 
“what do you want, then?” you said with a shaky breath. 
you felt his hands tense against your hips. 
“i don’t know.” his words were muffled, but you could make them out. it shattered you to hear the creak in his voice, but it hurt even more knowing that he didn’t know. you wanted something with him. a relationship. but he didn’t feel the same.
your fingers cupped his face, bringing him to look at you. “that’s it, then, huh?” your voice was dangerously soft. 
he was confused. again. 
“that’s all i’ll be?” he still didn’t catch on, too busy staring at your flushed face, reddened eyes. he wanted to fix it– take back his words. he’d do anything to reverse time. would do anything to revoke the words that spilled from your pretty lips. 
“one of your girls.”
you pushed him away, walking back to the railing with your back turned. he said your name over and over. you ignored him.
“i think,” you said, sucking in a tight breath to calm the storm of emotions that were threatening to raise hell. “that you should go.” 
“no, no–” lando stood, coming to wrap his arms around you, but you turned, holding up your hand to stop your advances. 
“we knew this would happen one day, didn’t we?” you reaffirmed, steadying your breaths the best that you could. but it was difficult. nothing about this was easy. but it had to be done. you were done waiting. done pining for someone that did not feel the same. did not burn the same. 
lando breathed your name again. you shook your head. “no. no. we can’t–” you choked on your tears. it felt hard to breathe. “i can’t keep waiting for you.” 
lando’s own eyes filled with tears. it felt like a breakup, when you two were clearly never together. you made that clear enough, and he obeyed, just wishing to feel your skin beneath his fingers, fall asleep to your heart beat. so why did he say he didn’t know? fuck, he’s such an asshole. he couldn’t take back his words now, could he? 
he tried to explain. words stumbled from his lips, nervous and riling with anxiety, but you would hear none of it. you simply brushed past him and into your room, opening the door from your hotel room for him. you said nothing else, tears sliding down your cheeks, lip caught between your teeth. 
“please,” he begged one last time. he had succumbed to his tears, too, cheeks flushed and lip wet. his hands trembled as he made one last attempt to cup your face. you let him. 
your foreheads met in both desperation and exhaustion. here, it felt like time stopped. the two of you in sync with your racing hearts, trembling hands, voracious blood churning through your veins. you looked up at him through your wet lashes and he met your gaze. it only had you sobbing harder. 
he wiped the tears from your cheeks. 
“please,” he said your name on his trembling tongue. the sound had your knees trembling, but you resisted. you had to. you couldn’t keep doing this anymore. there was a life out there, waiting for you to take hold of. “don’t make me go.” 
you let out a shaky breath, shaking your head. 
“you have to.” 
lando hiccuped. his fingers were still shaking, and he finally accepted your rejection. though he supposed he signified it first. that was his first mistake. he couldn’t take back his words without sounding like a dick, so he was trapped. trapped utterly in this pit of mayhem. 
he exited your hotel room with his tail between his legs. defeated. 
you shut the door behind him and slumped against it, your back sliding down until you hit the floor. your head fell into your hands as you attempted to stifle your sobs. 
little did you know, that he had done the same thing, fallen limp against your hotel room door. your sobs were in unison as you began to unravel, whilst he coiled into knots. forever entwined amidst your inability to be vulnerable with one another. toilsome, but ultimately true. 
you didn’t know how long you stayed there. he didn’t know how long he stayed there. the two of you stayed in parallel behind a closed door, mimicking each other’s beating heart, for you knew that they would never be one. 
when you woke, you were still slumped against the door. you stood, stretching out your painfully aching muscles, arched your back, twisted your neck. your eyes were swollen raw with your epidemic of tears the night prior, and you rubbed the crust away. the memories flooded through you. lando was here. he was here, and you had to haul his ass out.
you thought he was going to kiss you. 
but he didn’t. your lips would remain untouched by his own. 
your fingers ghosted over your mouth, shivering at the memory of him so close to you. you could feel his breath fanning over your face– the heaving, desperate puffs of air– and he felt yours, too, with the same amount of anxiety. you were a wreck before him, and he was too. 
in no time you found your phone, grimacing at your battery, and the plethora of texts from rebecca and alexandra. it was still early in the morning so you had time to pull yourself together, but you had a big day with them today. qualifying was happening, and rebecca had set you up.
she set you up with raphael for the day. you knew she meant the best. and maybe it was. this was your opportunity to uphold your promise– to move on. you had to, or else you would be strung dry for the remainder of your life, with dreary hopes and aimless romantics. you would not drown in the ocean of lando norris, despite how cumbersome he gripped on your ankles. 
you fixed yourself for the day. showering quickly, styling your hair to your liking. you threw on a formal chic outfit, perhaps trying a bit hard today to catch raphael’s eye– or someone else’s, by chance. but you left the unattainable at the back of your mind today, heart far too raw to be ripped open again.
you would stick with something safe. someone safe. raphael was your answer in the short term. you were sick of playing the long game, bested to your knees in the face of whatever conspired between you and the british driver. you were convinced it was for the best. it had to be. these emotions couldn’t be for nothing. 
it couldn’t be for nothing. 
when you arrived to the track that morning, alexandra was quick to meet your side. she had an impenetrable amount of questions for you, yearning for your answers, but you only gave her a brief overview. 
“we’re done,” you said as you walked through the pit lane. “he doesn’t want me like that.” 
she was clearly taken back. her hand flew over her heart, obviously distressed for you. you admired her care for you. you would do the same for her. “really?” 
you nodded, gulping down the lump in your throat that was tempting to choke you. 
“it’s okay.” you reaffirmed her. she made a move to speak over you, console you to the highest degree, but you stopped her. “i’m fine. swear. let’s have a good day, shall we?” you plastered on a fake smile towards her, but you knew she saw through you. but she would accept this for now when you were approached by carlos, rebecca, and raphael. 
you smiled brighter when raphael came to kiss both your cheeks. you gripped his bicep. engaging in conversation with him felt easier today, and you weren’t begging for an out. you’d catch rebecca’s eye here and there, and she glowed with happiness. if you weren’t doing this for yourself, you could at least say that you were doing it for her. 
raphael was not a bad man whatsoever. he smelled good, had good hygiene, and had a glowing smile. but he didn’t smell the same. didn’t have the same musk. didn’t have the harsh pricks of a stubble that burned into the skin of your neck. 
fuck. you missed the feeling of that stubble. 
you clung to raphael’s side for the rest of the day, a burning itch between your thighs undoing the morals of your mind. if you wanted to get over lando, you’d have to truly get over him. 
it was never a ‘string’s attached’ relationship, was it? you were free to fuck whoever you want, when you want. so why would it be so bad if you wished to see raphael bend down for you? 
or you wanted someone else, but raphael was the closest you’d get. 
the rest of the day went by smoothly. for you, at least, but not for lando.
he had come into the mclaren paddock looking absolutely awry. his hair messy, eyes dreary with sleep and emotion, whereas you…you looked beautiful. untouched by your emotions from the night before. so much so that you were cuddled against that same fucking dude, which had lando’s blood bursting to life. 
you were across in the pitlane observing the car, arms folded over your chest. that fucking guy’s hand rested on the upper part of your back, rolling soft circles with the pads of his fingers. he clenched the rim of his helmet in his hands. his teeth grinded inside his mouth, sawing down the enamel. for you, he’d have no teeth. for you were the only world he wished to bite, and even then you starved him of it. 
“y’alright, mate?” oscar’s voice interrupted his thoughts. lando broke his stare from the pair of you, ripping his eyes away. 
but you had turned, then, and let your eyes linger on his back.
“fine.” 
that evening was no different than any other. for lando, at least, he succumbed to his hotel room for the night. he had no interest in going out. if he saw you with that spanish prick, he’d only lose himself even more. the guilt of losing you had been overturning, divulging into what a psychologist would declare as madness. 
but you were the opposite. you were out on the town, clubbing with rebecca and raphael. carlos was there, too, but was saving his energy for the race tomorrow. he held no drink in his hand, but you did. you were downing shot after shot. 
you were swaying your hips, grinding against raphael with a steady pace. he was into it. his dick was aggressively hard against the back side of your dress, but you weren’t scared by it. it enticed you further, in fact, and had you drawing new sensations of pleasure through you.
finally, you thought, a break from him. from lando. but the voices echoed inside the back of your mind. it bounced off the walls; he couldn’t compare. 
lando would have his hands drawing up the sides of your body. fingertips scathing the fabric of your dress, teasing touches that would have you writhing in his hold, desperate for him to fuck you in the back. 
lando would have his face nuzzled into your neck whispering bittersweet praises into your ear. he’d squeeze your hips with anticipation as the both of you would move in sync. always in sync. the two of you were one on the dance floor, one when you fucked one another senseless in your less than private moments. when he was particularly desperate for your touch, he’d go as far as taking you in the bathrooms at any club. he had no shame; not when it came to you. 
but raphael was tame. and maybe you appreciated tame. maybe this was a new start for you. fresh and free of any unknowns. 
“you’re beautiful, hermosa.” he would whisper to you, body trying its best to keep up with you. he did, for the most part, but you moved to your own beat. lando would know. he knew every inch of you. were you really prepared to be strangers? 
you spun around in raphael’s arms, wrapping yours around his neck. you offered him a cheeky smile. this wasn’t you. “and you’re handsome!” it was alcohol talking. you would never be seen so exuberant. not like this. 
it had raphael laughing, though, and it was enough for him to take you back to his place. 
the entire way back to his place you were giggling, latching onto his tanned skin. his hair was soft, sheen, and luscious. your hands never got lost in the strands of his hair– it was too combed, not curly enough. nothing was curly enough. 
and then he had you against the wall of his flat. your hands pinned against your head, and he met your lips with his. fuck, you couldn’t remember the last time you’ve been kissed. but the worst part about all of it was–
you hated it. 
you tugged his head down to your neck, letting him work the sensitive skin with his tongue. your lips felt hot. blistering with a heat you haven’t felt in a long time. it felt…it felt…
raphael’s tongue found the meeting part of your underwear and skin, “can i?” he asked with a timid voice. you let out a soft moan and nodded. he tugged the fabric down, your dress still hanging off your body. you didn’t even remember if he left kisses along your neck, your breasts, you guessed his lips weren’t that memorable. 
and then his tongue was against your slit. you weren’t wet enough. clearly. you could feel the chapped parts of your cunt, disappointed in your body that you couldn’t ‘get it up’ for him. whereas he was practically jacking off in his pants, you were left like a desert. it wouldn’t be like this with lando. 
he explored your cunt with his tongue, narrowly dodging your clit ever so slightly. he thought your noises of pleasure were noises of distress, so he avoided touching your clit as much as possible. so he tongued you through and through, until you began to become irritated. 
you couldn’t even feel tight in your stomach. the feeling couldn’t be outmatched. maybe your sexdrive had died. maybe you could never cum ever again. this was to be your fate– dry and lonely. fuck. you let your head fall back against the wall, which he took as a good sign, and kept going. instead, you threaded your hands through his hair, rolling your eyes. 
you let out a few soft, faked moans. you felt guilty– of course you did– but apparently it was an olympic sport to make you cum. he certainly wouldn’t make the playoffs. 
after another minute of this, you were fed up. 
you tightened your cunt on command, which took a lot of fucking work, thank you, and began to heighten the sound of your moans. the award for best fake orgasm goes to: you!!! you surged forward to grip onto his shoulders, even pretending to be shaking. 
you deserved an oscar. 
“didn’t think i was that good.” 
an egot, maybe. 
you let out a soft sigh, a faked chuckle, and let him lead you to his bedroom. he fell atop of you on your back, holding himself up with the strength of his forearms. he dipped his hand down, scathing over your irritated cunt. you gasped at his hand finding your slit once again, drenched in only his spit, and without warning slipped a finger inside of you. 
your mouth hung open, lurching at the sudden contact. you felt sinched beneath his weight, taught with tension. he even curled his finger inside of you. he grazed your bundle of nerves that had your squirming. squirming for more pressure. he kept hitting your spot until he pulled away. you looked confused at first, wondering where exactly he was going. 
and…then he was pulling his cock out. fuck. you really weren’t going to win here, tonight, were you? not in the slightest, it seemed. he looked down at you with a knowing smirk. the same one where he thought you came beneath his tongue. 
he thought you came. 
fuck!
“are you ready?” he asked when his cock pushed against the skin of your lower belly. he was a good size, you admit, but you had a inkling that you weren’t going to find a sweet release with his hands. you nodded, forgetting your manners, but raphael said nothing. 
he pushed into you with a discerning pace. you scrunched your nose out of his eyesight. he was too busy fucking himself into your pussy. he couldn’t even open his eyes to look at you. and, for the record, he didn’t use a condom. dick. at least you had a form of a contraceptive. you’d make sure not to let him finish inside you. that’s for fucking sure. 
he slid in and out of you with the lubrication of his spit and his own precum. you didn’t move. you laid there, bored, faking a moan and gasp here and there. 
the whole time you thought about someone else. and you didn’t feel guilty about it. you were able to find yourself comforted by the dreaming thought of lando’s voice in your ear. the phantom touch of his stubble. the amount of moles that you could count on his face. 
with a grunt, you felt raphael push off of you, cumming onto his own sheets. he laid there, panting, and you…”did the same.” 
he turned to face you, smile on his face. “did you finish?”
you nodded with an itching smile. he seemed triumphant. though you couldn’t be drier than a haystack. 
your exit from his flat quickly. it’s not like he even took your dress off. he insisted that you stayed, but you retorted that you had an early morning with alexandra. whether or not that's true, you didn’t seem to care. he didn’t fight your statement and seamlessly let you go, clearly too exhausted from his evening to even see you out the door.
you hailed a cab from your hotel shamefully. you felt icky. your lip sneered when you caught a cab and tipped the driver once you arrived back. the elevator ride never seemed so tantalizingly long. 
when you swiped into your room, you threw your belongings on your bed and turned on a hot shower. while you waited for the water to heat, you opened your phone. 
no messages from lando. 
did you expect any?
maybe. 
you decided to call him. you didn’t fucking care. it was the alcohol talking. 
ring…ring…ring…ring…ring…
no answer. 
you left a voicemail.
“heeyyy…!!” you surged into the phone as you began to untangle your dress from your body. “i–uh, i dunno i just…wanted to call you… because i…” you swore under your breath as you couldn’t get a strap off. “sorry i…” you stuttered, laughing to yourself. “i think i miss you, lan.” 
and then you hung up, singing yourself into the shower. the hot water panned over your body, fingers trailing over the mounds of your breasts. the soft skin of your abdomen. 
but with your whimsy, came a price.
lando was there. he just didn’t answer your call. he had been awake, wondering what you were doing, since you were absent on almost all forms of social media. so when he got your call, he couldn’t bring himself to accept it. 
then the voicemail came.
he must’ve played it over a dozen times. hearing your soft voice, amicable and kind. you had been drinking, clearly, and he could hear the sound of the shower running in the background. he held his phone against his head, other hand running through his hair. he was a wreck over you, and you were as well. drunk dialing was never a thing between the two of you. 
especially an ‘i miss you.’ 
and how ‘lan’ slipped past your lip with such ease. the name was meant for you to use. only you. 
he found himself stroking his cock to your words, the temptress in your voice. he knew she was there, baiting him, and he was no better than a fish to bite. he fisted his cock with your name on his lips, and a reminder that yours was on his.
with a pounding heartbeat and ringing in his ears, all he could think about was you. and more or less, you the same.
your fingers trailed down your navel in the shower, coming to nib at the lips of your clit. how swollen it was, angered and annoyed, that such a man could ignore it. by association, you. 
a hand rolled over one of your breasts, twisting your nipple in hand. you gasped at the sensation you provided, flicking your clit between your fingers. you truly needed no more to make yourself cum, except the thought of lando’s voice in your ears. 
‘come on, baby,’ he would say to you, fingers gliding along your drenched slit with ease. you clenched around nothing, whimpering to yourself in the hum of the hot shower. ‘little more for me, yeah?’ he would always talk you through it. never once would you be alone when you came. he was always there, lingering, a shadow against the walls. 
you slipped a single finger inside of yourself, curling it expertly as lando taught you to. ‘just like that, sweet thing.’ he’d mutter against your shoulder as he’d fuck you on a chair facing a mirror. you could never make yourself cum before his “lessons.” 
your back arched against the marble of the shower walls. your thumb and forefinger worked just like his would against your clit, massaging the bundle of nerves until a coil inside of you snapped, and you came all over yourself with his name on your lips.
and he could feel it. amongst the cosmic plane. he had been grudgingly fisting his cock, grunting your name over his lips. it was sinful, the way that his cock was spewing cum in only a matter of minutes at the thought of your voice. ‘lan, lan,’ you would say to him, ‘need it. need you inside,’ you’d whimper against him, begging for his cum to seep out of you. 
he’d never deny you a pleasure. so he shouldn’t deny himself. he came in a matter of seconds over the palm of his hand, your name flustering his tongue. and he’d lay there, soaking in his milky cum, eyes blown wide at just how much of an effect you had on him; mind, body, and soul. 
you stood there in the shower, flustered from heat, the slick running down your thighs. your hearts beat in unison at that moment, miles apart, on the same wavelength. 
the shower wasn’t the same after that. you felt dirty, but so good. the namesake of lando’s voice in your ear was enough to have you cumming on your own fingers, but the touch of another man made you ill. what a shock that was to you. or maybe it wasn’t a surprise at all. 
clean to the best of your ability, you slept easy that night. the best sleep you’ve had this weekend, in fact, with lando frolicking through your dreams. and you in his, whispering soft ‘i love you’s’ which had him writhing with pleasure. you infested every part of him, and he did the same to you. you’d never be free of lando norris, and the thought began to settle. it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but you couldn’t forget his words. 
‘i don’t know,’ he spoke into your stomach. his nose pinched you. the words sliced clean. your stomach coiled not with pleasure, but anxiety. why didn’t he want you that way? why did he hesitate? 
you weren’t taking his rejection well. that was clear. 
but he wasn’t taking this any better. he was going through his own emotional turmoil of trying to make this up to you. it would be the last thing that he did. 
when you woke that morning with a groggy headache and a sore ache between your thighs, you couldn’t help but groan. what the fuck were you doing last night? you perhaps had the most disappointing sex of your entire life, and now, as you looked in the mirror you were nothing more than mortified. 
littered on your chest, above your breasts, were a few specks of bruises. hickey’s. fuck. fuck. that was one thing that was always far too intimate. kisses and hickeys. what did this mean, then, that you belonged to raphael? your fingers trailed up the bruises on your chest, the flesh tender beneath your soft touch. you winced at the memory of his cocky face, thinking that he had you finishing more than once. if at all. you leaned over the sink, washing your face off with cold water. 
your hands rested at the base of your neck. your reflection stared back at you, pitiful, the bruises beneath your eyes reflected a tiredness that the word ‘exhaustion’ could not begin to fathom. you were disappointed in yourself. that much was clear. 
a sigh escaped you when you finally mustered the courage to leave the bathroom. for the race today, you decided on a long dress. one that covered your chest, but hung on your shoulders. it was a beautiful piece. you’d been saving it for this weekend, and you were more than thankful that the universe seemed to be looking out for you. 
you tidied up your appearance the best you could and slid on a pair of heels, grimacing at the sore ache from the night before. raphael didn’t have a valet, so you had to walk across four blocks with his hands wandering down your sides, desperate to fuck you in an alleyway. ew. you shivered at the memory, but continued on from your hotel room.
though, you took one last glance before leaving, and let your eyes rest on the balcony. it felt like a dream to see lando sitting there, his face resting against the tender flesh of your stomach. his stubble itched through the cotton of your shirt, but it rather tickled. and then he said he didn’t know what he wanted with you, and your whole life slipped right through your fingers. 
he slipped through your fingers. 
you shut the door. 
lando’s morning, on the other hand, started off stellar in comparison to yours. he had stayed up a while longer, wondering if you would call him back, but you never did. there was a faint pang of disappointment, but much more guilt that he let you slip away so easily. he should’ve refused to leave your hotel room that night. refused by any force you attempted on him. 
but he’s just that much of a fucking idiot, wasn’t he? when he left for the paddock early that morning, he glanced at his phone one last time. one missed call, and it was from you last night. and then suddenly, his heart was warm, and there was a smile on his face.
all this told him was that there was a chance. you called him. you called him whether or not you were shitfaced. blackout drunk. in your vulnerable moments you thought of him. reached out for him. fuck, he was in love with you.
in love
he paused when he shut the door behind him, frozen in place. what? is that what this was? love? 
anxiety churned in his stomach. this feeling had been there for a while. a long time. and only now he was just realizing it. shit. 
he fiddled with his phone in his hands. thumb hovering over your contact card, he let it fall. 
it rang twice before he heard the line connect. 
“yeah?” you said, demure and quiet. he knew you were exhausted. he’s heard this tone before. the tone you had when you were viciously hungover. it had him chuckling. “what?” 
“good morning to you, too.” the words rolled easy from him. he suddenly felt calmer with you on the other end, but it didn’t stop the butterflies from fluttering in the pit of his stomach. 
“good morning.” you said, like you were shocked that he was calling you to say good morning. 
“fun night?” he asked, stepping into the elevator and hitting the ‘lobby’ button. a few members of his team were already waiting for him. 
 but you had froze up in the car ride to the paddock. what? how could he know? did he know that you were with raphael? you cleared your throat. “what– what do you mean?” 
“you called me.” 
shit. 
if you weren’t fucked already, you were royally now. your hand dragged over your forehead as your head swarmed with anxious thoughts, completely forgetting about calling him and then…touching yourself in the shower to the thought of him. yikes! what a little freak you were. but lando would enjoy it. 
“i–” you stuttered, voice caught in your throat. “i’m sorry…i was just…” 
your voice trailed and you could hear his childish laugh from the other end. “no, no. it was cute.” you heard the elevator ding from his end, but it hard to focus on when there was a deep blush flustering your cheeks. 
“i didn’t mean to bother you,” you quickly said, finding the need to apologize over and over again for disrupting his night. it was embarrassing enough as is that you had the worst sex of your life, but you called the one man that didn’t want you for consolidation. what a conundrum that was, wasn’t it? 
“you didn’t.” his words were firm this time, no traces of playfulness. you perked up at this, finding yourself laughing. 
“must’ve said something dumb, didn’t i?” 
there was a pause. 
“yeah. yeah. something dumb.” 
there was another beat of silence. you shifted in the uber, the pass around your neck.
“i’ll see you there?” 
you heard him suck in a tight breath, then release it. 
“yeah. yeah, ‘course you will.” 
you smiled. he could feel it. 
“okay. bye, then.” 
he said your name softly on the other end with a salutation, and the line went flat. you slammed your back against the leather seats of the car, hands rolling over your face. you rubbed your eyes, wondering if you were still dreaming. 
it wasn’t fair that he could make you this way. that he had you in tears just a few nights before, and now your fingers shook with excitement. fuck him. fuck him for making you feel this way, and yet, there was no trace of annoyance on your face. 
just a bright smile. 
your name was called when you swiped into the paddock. it had you whipping your head up to see who it could be, but you already knew that it was alexandra. she wasn’t trailed by anyone else, thank god, and she flung her arms around you for a hug. 
you sang a soft greeting towards her, and she looked up at you expectantly. you raised a brow. 
“so…!?” 
you narrowed your eyes. 
“your night with…!” her voice dropped to a whisper. “raphael.” 
you shushed her, looking around, before you held one of her hands in yours. “you want the truth?” her facial expression dropped, but she nodded anyways. 
“awful.” 
she groaned, head rolling back in disappointment. “i told rebecca it wasn’t a good idea.” 
“the sex was…horrible. just…i mean, what the fuck?” alexandra burst out into a laugh as the both of you joined side by side towards the ferrari hospitality. you dreaded going, given the unanswered texts for him, you didn’t want to be confronted with…anything. 
“most importantly…” alexandra stopped the two of you before you entered. “are you over him?” 
him. the inevitable. 
you swallowed. 
and nodded your head.
alexandra was only slightly pleased and gave you a reassuring smile. boy, this would be a long day. 
before the race started you were wandering around the pitlane with your miniature crew of ferrari girlfriends and their friends. raphael had found you, eagerly, with a prideful smile on his face. out of kindness, you returned the gesture, and let him linger around you for the day.
ferrari’s pit was next to mclaren’s. you couldn’t help but stare. 
lando was there. in his papaya race suit. he was speaking to his engineers, and never glanced your way. look at me, you wanted to shout. please, your mind begged. but you stayed firm at raphael’s side.
he dared to stretch out his hand to let it loiter on your waist, but you shimmied out of the contact with an awkward smile. he noticed, but didn’t say anything. 
lando did too. 
but not what you wanted him to see. he saw you with raphael’s arm around your waist. you were smiling, laughing, in their presence. whereas he couldn’t even bear a night out without the cumbersome thoughts of you constricting his mind. he thought of nothing but you. and here you were, haphazardly dangling this spanish prick in front of his face. fucker. 
you turned to look at lando again, free of raphael’s touch. he was staring.
your heart beat faster, eyes widened. your palms were sweating– why were they sweating? he looked pissed, frustrated, but you didn’t know why. your brows upturned with a soft expression that he yearned for, and his envy flushed away. 
it was that easy. your gentle features. the concern ridden in your face. 
you even gave him a small wave, twiddling your fingers. he was bashful in response, and returned it with a small twist of his own fingers. 
but his eyes carried down. towards your chest. you blinked, realizing that part of your dress had slipped further. there was an obvious bruise making an appearance, and you felt guilty. guilty as if you had cheated on him, but you were never in a relationship to begin with.
you saw his jaw tightened and his hands flex before he turned, leaving you speechless. 
and then you were dragged away, just like that, into the viewing panel for the race. they were about to start their formation lap, yet you could barely focus with your racing heart. 
it past with ease. raphael tried to get closer to you, but you found excuses to stay huddled at alexandra’s side. she noticed, and even wrapped her own arm around your waist. the two of you were a picturesque vision of divine femininity. you felt untouchable at her side, incomparable to any girlfriend you’ve ever had. 
lando was fighting hard. he was aggressive on the straits, pushing past the limits of his drs. your hand traced over your chin as you watched the tv intensely, frightened when you saw him make contact with one of the mercedes drivers. 
“what is he doing…” you muttered under your breath. your nailbeds were being hacked on by your teeth, chewing them down to the stump. parts of your thumbs streamed with blood. 
little to your knowledge, your reaction had been broadcasted. alexandra’s face unfurled with a cheeky look, realizing that she had been played by your deception from earlier. you were not over him. in fact, you were entirely worse than before. your concern was ebbed through the power of media, and that wouldn’t be forgotten. 
“are you okay?” came raphael’s voice. you didn’t even look at him.
“fine.” 
he took your cold tone in earnest, realizing that there was something more at stake here. 
you couldn’t be more grateful when lando passed the checkered flag. your hand found the column of your throat, finding comfort. you let your face be consumed by a smile, one similar to raphael’s when he thought he made you came. stupid man, you thought, glancing towards the spaniard. you had a new priority now.
you had to prove that you wanted lando. but how? everything felt like it was becoming too complicated. your fates were intertwined via an invisible string. 
and you didn’t even go to his podium.
he looked for you, sweat dripping down his forehead, but didn’t see you. it had him grow weary, agitated. he raced this hard so he could prove himself to you. prove that he was better than some lowlife. 
but he fears he lost you. 
the hickey’s on your neck spoke volumes. you fucked him. fucked that stranger. his fists curled around the trophy, break-necking the medal display. 
did you come? 
no. stop that. it’s none of his business to ask–
she didn’t. you couldn’t. 
the pieces began to fall in place in his head. the phone call. you called him…when you needed him most. 
it suddenly made holding this trophy all the more worthwhile, and he even donned a smile on his face when he raised it high above his head. this, he thought, was victory. 
the night came as swiftly as the day went. you were getting ready to go out, alexandra reminding you to schedule your uber. you did. the dress you wore this evening was short. one of your favorite colors, and had a high neckline. for obvious reasons. you were entirely mortified that raphael felt the primal need to mark you like some bitch. it had your stomach twisting with anger, fingers pulsing with a punch. 
but your violent urges stayed dormant when you met up with alexandra, charles, rebecca, carlos, and…raphael. jeez, what a lot you’ve surrounded yourself with. raphael was at your side in an instant when you climbed out of the uber, refusing to give you a morsel of space. it had your lip curling, grimacing down the vomit that curdled in your throat. 
you barely spoke a word to him tonight. there was nothing more to say to him. if you were to say anything, it would be a rotten lie. 
alexandra tugged you along through the doors, charles at her flank, which you gladly let her do. anything to get away from raphael would be best for you, given how much you didn’t want to confront him. it was just for the weekend, right? no strings attached. 
no strings attached, echoed through your mind. flashes of lando’s hands on your hips, the phantom embrace that tensed around your flesh, seeped into your head. your heart plummeted against your will, looking around futilely for his bright smile amongst the sea of oncomers. 
it didn’t take you long.
but you wish that it did. 
he had his arm slung around some girl, hat backwards, first few buttons undone on his white dress shirt. hands clamming up, you tightened them together over your front, letting your eyes gawk at such a beautiful pairing. it was a different girl than the one you had rudely met in monaco. 
another one of his girls. 
your mind begged you to let it go. but your heart chained itself to lando, refusing to let go this…infatuation that had you sick to your stomach. what did she have that you didn’t? was she nonchalant? was she a cool girl? 
your staring lasted too long. lando saw you. he felt your eyes– your heated stare, beckoning his attention. he answered your call, glancing directly at you. but he did not wave. 
neither did you. 
the urge thwarted you to look anywhere else but him, tugged your attention elsewhere, but you stayed firm on his freckled face, sharp cheekbones, his daunting stare. you felt the beat of his heart from across the room, the bass boosted rap, his irritability when raphael came to rest a hand on your hip. but you did not turn away from this fight. your arsenal was loaded, and so was his. 
lando glanced at raphael, first to break eye contact, and swug the rest of his cocktail in hand. he let the glass slide across the counter of the bar before tugging the girl at his side to his front, the pair of them dancing with one another. 
fine, if he wants to play, then you’ll play. 
you were handed a cocktail by raphael. you thanked him sincerely before you downed your own in one gulp. raphael gaped at you with a slack jaw. you wiped the loose drops from your jaw, and offered him your hand. 
“dance with me?” 
raphael didn’t need to be asked twice when he took your hand. you led him deeper into the club, the led lights brightening both your faces. in this light, you supposed that he was irrecoverably handsome. and the thought slipped through your mind that maybe, just maybe, you could’ve had a good life with him. that in some universe that you could get over this feud with a man who doesn’t want you, you’d have a well-earned chance at happiness. 
but the thought left just as quickly as it came. 
your hips were against his. ass against his crotch, grinding in a rough series of movements. he began growing accustomed to how you moved, and that much you could be thankful for. no longer would the two of you be awkward on the dance floor, fragile hands trembling against your body. he felt more confident, but you could tell there was something brewing behind those big brown eyes of his. but you honestly couldn’t care less, not when you were distracted. 
not when your eyes were entranced on a man who treated you like garbage. who cried in your arms, begged for your presence. then, left your hotel room with tears streaming down your face. 
his hands were tightly wound around the girls abdomen, cocky expression glazing his face. he spoke to a few of his buddies here, too, amply looking like a douche. one that who knew exactly what he was doing to girls. fuck. 
you were just one of his girls. 
this enraged you. but it shouldn’t. but it did. there was no excuse for your fray of emotions. they simply existed, and you were going to deal with them. not in a responsible way. no, you were far too gone for that. alcohol warmed your throat, your palms, your chest. 
you let your head lean back onto raphael’s shoulder, your mouth coming to his ear. “you can touch me.” you encouraged him. he seemed to lighten at this, becoming bold enough to let his hands trail up your body. he’d indulge in your shape, letting his fingers imprint against the globes of your breasts, the lining of your panties beneath your dress. 
a light giggle left you when you let your head rise from his blades, and were met with an aggressive, terrifying, stare from across the room. 
your lips puckered. 
lando’s head was resting on the girl’s shoulder, his hips swaying with hers, but his eyes were trained on you. you, you, and more you. he was glaring at the man behind you, his gaze so bitter that it soured even your own tongue. it was the miniscule amount of guilt that flustered your head, but you shoved it down. 
lando retaliated, beginning to kiss on the girls neck. she leaned against him, a gorgeous smile lighting up the room. 
you grumbled, turning your head to meet raphael’s eyes. your eyes pleaded with a language of seduction, one that any man could understand. 
raphael took the bait. 
his lips trailed down your ear, down the column of your neck. all whilst your back was pressed against his front, you felt the outline of his dick. your palm tightened at the memory of how he attempted to fuck you, but you had to remain composed. you couldn’t fail now. 
your lip caught between your teeth for dramatics. like you were holding back a moan. 
lando was watching. in fact, he never stopped. he was drunk on the addiction of watching you. watching you grind your hips on that fuckin’ guy, not even wince when his lips were glossing over the sensitive flesh of your neck. could he make you wet with just his mouth? 
the british driver could feel his end nearing. if this progressed any further, he’d drag your ass to the bathroom and fuck you like you’d deserve. he didn’t give a fuck. not anymore. not when your lip was bitten by your top row of teeth, an illusive point to how that guy was pleasuring you. he felt fucking sick. though he was starving to the same degree. 
his chest was aflame at your teasing touches on your own body. he could see the outline of your panties, the lack of a bra. your nipples were pinching against the fabric that confined them, and he had to stop himself from drooling. you were so fucking sexy. 
the girl at his front was growing bored of her lack of attention. he, honestly, didn’t even remember her name. but he’d suffice it with a swirl of his tongue around the skin of her jaw. it was a critical move, since he knew that you’d never let yourself be kissed. you wouldn’t risk such intimacy with a man you’ve only known for a few days–
except you would. 
this was war, wasn’t it? 
watching lando suck and slurp on that girl’s neck had you desperate to come up with an alternate idea. an approach that would crown you victorious without a second thought. it was cruel, you knew this, but you were out of options. you had something to prove. prove that you were over him. though, you knew that this would end in one of two ways;
him, fucking you.
or, him leaving. 
you much preferred the latter. 
with enough fury boiling in your bones, you lifted your head to meet raphael’s eyes. with your pointer finger, you let it roll over his chin, connecting with your thumb. you glanced at his lips, your tongue wetting your own, and pulled him to meet you. 
raphael said your name into your mouth, nervous to even let his tongue explore yours. you sucked in a tight breath, lip curling to reference a snarl at how much you despised the sensation. it was messy, wet, and you felt instantly disgusted with yourself for even letting him touch your lips. you felt like you jumped too far into a relationship with raphael, even though you were certain that you didn’t want one. 
“be my girlfriend,” raphael breathed into your mouth. you hummed a laugh, thinking that he was joking. but he moved to separate you too, staring at you with a brazen thoroughness that you never wished to see again. 
“i’m serious. i want–” 
“‘scuse me, mate,” you knew that voice. you knew that voice too well. your head spun around to see lando leering dangerously close to raphael’s face, the heat of his body emanating onto your own. he stood only a few inches from you.
you felt his hand ghost over the small of your back, and you suddenly felt desperate to feel it. with your lips raw from that kiss, your fingertip glazed over the flesh, your eyes lost in lando’s tense expression. his jaw was tightened, chest doing it’s best to keep his heated expression under control. however, that control was slipping with every passing moment that you were in raphael’s arms. 
raphael turned his attention to lando, suddenly pissed. “need something?” 
lando gave him a hoarse chuckle. “yeah. can i borrow your lady for a second?”
raphael made a move to shake his head. “no, we were just—”
“thanks, mate.” lando gripped your back with his fingertips, digging into the skin without mercy. you felt his anger rolling off of him in tense waves, the urge to consolidate him overwhelming. he led you through the crowds of people with an insurmountable force, jaw tightly clenched the entire way. you could practically hear his teeth grinding against one another. 
he said nothing until he opened– no, broke the door– to the bathroom. it was a single stall– no one was in there. he allowed you to enter first, stretching out his arm as a much needed signal. you waited a moment, arms crossing over your chest. 
his eyes didn’t relent. he would wait here all fucking day before you decided to go in. and you did. he locked the door behind the two of you in an instant. 
“what the fuck are you–” you began to scold, back turned to him as you approached the mirror and the sink. you were interrupted when he spun you around, hand place firmly on your hip. the contact had you gasping, glancing down at his hand. 
“so, what?” he said, looking down at you through hooded eyes, blown pupils. his heart was electrified, hidden behind his cage of ribs, and one hand flexed as it gripped the edges of the porcelain sink. he hummed, “hm? he your boyfriend now?”you gaped at him. “you’re serious?” you stifled a laugh, unbelieving of his attitude. “what’s it to you, lando? hm?”
his shoulders tensed. “you shouldn’t be with him.” 
you rolled your eyes. lando gripped your chin, demanding your attention. “why not, then? ‘m i supposed to be your whore forever?” 
his thumb rolled over your bottom lip. “you never were,” he tsked. you were bewildered. brow raising, however difficult to focus when his hand around your hip began to swirl circles on your skin. 
“what the fuck are you saying, then, lando? you need to–”
“you let him kiss you.” 
you froze. 
“never me. why?” his restraint was slipping. his forehead edged closer and closer to yours until you could feel his breath fanning across your face. 
“why?” he asked again, his nose brushing against your own. you shook your head ‘no,’ lip beginning to quiver beneath his body. his chest pressed against your own as he got closer. he needed to be closer. “he fuck you better? hm? that it?” 
you shuddered when you felt his fingers lower from your hip, trailing circles towards your navel, the slit of your dress that met your upper thigh. 
“go on,” he urged, his voice tense from gritting his teeth. “tell me. tell me, and i’ll stop.” 
you stayed quiet except for the whimper that left your throat when his fingers curled against your panties, a dampened spot ruining the fabric. there was a deep chuckle against your face, lando’s forehead still against your own. you tightened your lips together, not daring a word to spill. 
“tell me, and i’ll let you go party with your new boy.” 
“fuck you,” you bit out, seething with your desire, angered with his jealous antics. 
“yeah? yeah? you want ‘ta fuck me?” there was no way of hiding his cocky grin. it could be seen from miles away, even when his face was millimeters from yours. 
“you’re an asshole,” you heaved, your hips bucking when he began to slide your underwear to the side. your breaths were harsh against his cheeks. 
“must like ‘em mean, then,” he cooed, followed by a deep chuckle. “‘cause you’re drippin’ for me.” you felt your slick seep around his fingers as h grazed the puffy lips of your cunt. your head was thrown back against the concrete wall, smacking against the surface. lando was quick to adjust your head, his fingers tugging into your hair. 
“fuck,” you sighed, finding his pleasures undeniable. he was so on edge from seeing you kissing raphael, that he was lost in his madness. this pent up lust was bursting from its locked away jar, pouring its fury onto you. “touch me, lando. please–” 
with a swift motion he perched you onto the porcelain sink, your head lolling against the mirror, supported by his palm. he tugged you forward so your glossy cunt stained the front of his black pants. the wet spot was pertinent, your face flushing with embarrassment. you were supposed to hate this. why did you love it? 
“‘am touchin’ you, baby.” his middle finger teased you, blessing you with a split moment of euphoria of grazing your clit. you moaned, eyes fluttering shut. “look at me,” his hand tightened in your hair. your eyes flashed open, face to face with his crooked, loving smile. “look at me when i make you cum.”
you nodded, whimpering rapidly. he grinned harder at your desperate, pleading tone. though you spoke no words, he could tell just how badly you needed him. 
“inside,” your begging didn’t cease, especially when he was still refusing to slide a finger inside of you. “please, please—”
your words were cut off when his middle finger curled sweetly inside of you, eliciting the sweetest pleasure you have felt in weeks. the moan you delivered was guttural, deep, and most of all, primal. lando’s dick pulsated in his pants, his fingers twitching at your lewd voice. 
a hand reached out to grip onto his bicep, your head falling into the crook of his neck. you felt undeniably at ease in his hold, despite the hurt that he’s caused you. 
his finger began to slide in and out of you, scissoring you to high hell and back, and you were putty in his hands. moments like these is what he favored most with you, but he would take anything to be in your presence. he didn’t feel an ounce of guilt when he swooped you up from that asshole’s arms, leaving him shocked and disrespected. lando was keen enough to twist his head over his shoulder when he led you away, watching as raphael’s face contorted with disappointment. it had his jaw tensing, resisting the urge to smirk. 
“come on, baby,” lando’s voice cut through your high, your naval tightening with a hot pressure. “know you’re close. can feel it.” 
he added a second finger, using his thumb to roll over your sensitive bundle of nerves. the stimulation was overwhelming, your throat raw with the carnal moans he drew from your depths. he’d be the only one to hear any of these ever again. he promised himself that much. 
your orgasm was imminent, the coil in your belly snapping with a hopeless yearning you’ve been deprived of for what feels like an eternity. slick covered the palm of his hand, and your eyes had locked onto his. he watched as you trembled with desire, legs twitched around his waist. with one quick move he brought his two fingers to your lips.
you knew what he wanted. 
you’ve never tasted yourself before. but your lips parted, and he lathered your slick over your tongue. you sucked in earnest over his calloused digits, lips puckering, cheeks hollowing. you swallowed, letting your tongue linger over his fingertips.
“now you know,” he whispered, clutching you tight. “why i can’t stay away.” for a brief moment, you thought he was mentioning because of the taste of your cunt. but with the deep look in his eyes, you knew it meant more. you were made for him. both in spirit and sensuality. 
lando spun you around from your seat atop the sink, having you flipped, staring at your reflection in the mirror. you look disheveled, and downright fucked. your feet met the ground, the palm of his hand spreading over the expanse of your back, flattening you to a ninety degree angle. 
“lift your hips for me, love,” you obeyed without second thoughts, rising to your tip toes as he ran his fingers along the underside of your thighs, pulling down the fabric of your panties. they hit the floor, and your cunt went rigid with the cold air. but you heard lando making fast work with his belt, his jeans, and you sifted back and forth. you even turned to look at him over your shoulder, lashes batting unintentionally at the spring of his cock against his lower belly. 
“missed this,” he breathed, saddling his hand at the base of your neck. you pushed into his hold, deepening the connection. 
your exhaustion didn’t impede your ability to get fucked. that was for sure. lando wasn’t going to spare a single effort on your behalf. he was riled, pent up, and now he wanted to see tears in your eyes as you were split open on his cock. it was a promise. 
“missed you.” you mumbled. lando’s hand tightened around the frontal base of your throat. 
“what was that?” 
you whimpered. “missed you!”
“atta girl.” he was pleased with your higher volume, and awarded you by edging the tip of his cock through your folds. you lurched forward, gripping onto the dish of the sink. a deep groan left you, and he gave you a grace period to adjust. but it took too long. you wanted him deep. bottomed out. until there was nothing else for you to give. 
“show me,” you grit your teeth. “show me he’s not good enough.” 
your words seemed to ignite a flame inside of lando that couldn’t be ignored. you felt him huff air, the sensation tickling your spine, and he thrust himself inside of you. forget a grace period, you were going straight to heaven. 
you moaned, his cock stimulating a perverse area inside your cunt that no man could ever reach. lando was out for blood to prove that he was the only man that could truly fuck you. and fuck you he would. 
the sound of skin slapping echoed through the bathroom. your moans intertwined with his mewls, creating an atmosphere derived from both of your pleasures alone. nothing would ever compare to this feeling. how he curved deliciously inside of you, how you tightened so mercilessly around his cock. he’d let himself run dry so he could feel your tight walls each night. 
the pressure of his hand around your throat didn’t relent. with his index and thumb squeezing at every point he bottomed out, you swore you were seeing stars. you were an irrecoverable mess in lando’s arms, and that’s just the way he wanted you. in the reflection of the mirror stared the fading marks that fucker left on your skin. but he was determined to make his own. and it was different that you’d let him. without a doubt, he could bite through your skin, make you bleed for all you fucking cared. 
“who’s fucking you this good?” lando asked, hand tightening briefly for your response. you were lost in your haze, unable to truly focus on his words. your brows furrowed. 
“you,” you said, breathless, clenching onto the sink with all your prospective might. 
“who?” he prodded further, opposite hand coming to rub at your clit. you seethed, breath tightening in your throat. tears burned at your retinas, the skillful work of his fingers bringing you to an oncoming orgasm. lando felt it, and paused his fingers. 
you whimpered, then looked at him in the mirror. he loomed like no man you’ve ever seen. darkened eyes, sweaty hair. fuck, he’s so hot. “you!” 
his fingers returned their assault on your clit, and you could feel the burning heat once more. you grinded hopelessly against the palm of his hand, which he responded as to pinching the bundle of nerves atop your cunt to with more pressure. 
it didn’t take long before you were keeling over the sink, his hand around your neck forcing you to arch before him. with your unbearably tight cunt, he came with you, filling you with hot ropes of cum. the feeling of him warm, vested in your walls brought you a comfort like nothing else. 
lando’s head fell forward with his heaving chest onto the base of your neck. his heart was beating so fast, you could feel it. you lifted yourself from the downward angle of the sink, his hands coming to steady you despite his exhaustion. 
“i lied to you before,” he spoke into the skin of your neck. too fucked out to really process what he was saying, you turned slightly to catch one of his eyes. “you aren’t a favorite.”
you frowned, still confused, heart feeling ripped open once more. 
“you’re the only girl.” 
you turned fully this time to face him. 
“what?”
“you heard me.” you did. that was true. but what you didn’t believe was true, was his words. 
“don’t…” you begged. “don’t play with me anymore, lan…” the nickname rolled off your tongue with ease. “i can’t…i can’t wait for someone who doesn’t…” love, “want me the same.”
lando brushed a stray hair from your forehead. he let himself lean into you. your bodies fit together perfectly. 
“what do you want, then?” 
your voice was caught in your throat. there was a million things you wanted, but there was only one thing you needed. 
“i need you.” 
need cut through his body like wild flower to barley. need was the mending his heart needed. need was the remedy of his uncertainties about you. 
his face upturned into a smile. 
“i can’t do this,” he said, taking a breath. “any of this, without you. need you here, with me,” with his forehead touching yours, you could feel his lashes against your browline. 
“lando…”
he shook his head. your name was soft on his tongue. “please, please, stay with me. i should’ve never left that hotel room. never.” 
your cheeks were wet. but they weren’t from your tears. his. his lip was quivering when you opened your eyes, his own shut as if he were too afraid to face you. 
and instead of answering him with words, you tilted your head up, and let your lips collide with his. torn into shock, lando’s eyes flew open, unbelieving of what was happening. you were kissing him. your lips on his, intimate. you wanted to be intimate with him, not just fuck him. 
his eyes fluttered shut, and his hand came to wrap around the back of your neck. he returned your kiss, tongue eager to explore the cavern of your mouth, and you let him. you had been afraid to let him kiss you, fearful that you would become addicted to this pleasure. 
you were right in your fear. there was never a universe where you wouldn’t be drunk on his tongue, craving his teeth clashing with your own. it was an ensued battle with your mouths, one you weren’t going to relent easily. but he remained victorious and let his tongue run over yours. the two of you were inseparable, body and spirit. 
there was finally a blasted knock on the bathroom door, which had you jumping. lando turned his head over his shoulder, and was quick to drop to his knees to roll your panties back up. 
“like you down there,” you commented from him on his knees. he turned to look at you with a knowing smirk, and kissed the skin of your thighs. when he stood at his full height, he adjusted his own pants, looking presentable enough. 
“beautiful.” he complimented, leaning in for a plethora of kisses. he kissed all around your mouth, your nose, your jaw, before he landed on your mouth.
“i love you,” he blurted out against your lips. you gaped at him and he was worried you wouldn’t feel the same. but the two of you knew this answer for a long, long time. 
your brows upturned. “i love you too.” 
his hand fell on your lower back, guiding you out of the bathroom. “guess you’re my girl now, yeah?” 
you slapped his bicep. “we have a lot to talk about, but for tonight…” you nodded. 
he was happy enough with that answer. 
“gotta let raphael down easy…” you mumbled as lando held the door open for you. 
“oh…!” he said in an exaggerated tone. “that’s what his name is.” 
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simplylov3ly · 1 month ago
Note
perhaps some lando x leclerc!reader
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pairing: lando norris x leclerc!reader
summary: being charles leclerc's sister wasn't so bad, you would always get a good reward.
warnings: smut, horniness, fluff, oral sex, dirty talk, vulgar language, flirting, light kisses, french kisses, neck hickeys, cumshot, hot treat, p inside v, blowjob, consent given, spanking, cowgirl position, semi-public, tenderness, light spanking/whipping, squeezing the bottom.
words: 1.7k
author's note: i'm letting you know that english isn't my best language, but i always accept edits to help me improve. i hope you like this os/fic that an anonymous person requested. <3
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It's the Monaco Grand Prix, and your brother Charles has won the first place finish, placing very well on the podium. You decided to come down from where you were so you could film your older brother's big moment.
Although you also noticed that Lando was on the podium as well, with a third position. You couldn't lie, the British McLaren driver is too hot to be true, and you knew he had a giant piece under his suit.
After congratulating Charles on his victory and being completely ignored by him, you felt someone staring at you, so you turned around and could see Lando in the distance, giving you that genuinely mischievous smile.
You decided to be discreet and went into the McLaren garage to feel someone pulling you by the arm to take you to the small room that every driver has.
The atmosphere is charged with a perverse sexual tension, A chemistry that's too intense. Excitement runs down your spine when you feel a pair of soft, tender kisses on the back of your neck.
"To think your brother ignored you..." Lando whispers, continuing the kisses. "Actually, it's not so much a shame. I have you here with me. All to myself."
"Lando..." You gasped a little from the heat on your skin, you felt your body burning with each pleasurable kiss that was placed on you.
"Yes, darling?" Lando asks quietly.
When you turn around, you can see the most beautiful green eyes mixed with blue. you've ever seen. He smiles when he notices your fascination with him.
"I missed you so much," you whispered, giving him a small kiss on the lips to feel Lando's hands, go down your sides and squeeze your hips, bringing you closer to him.
"Oh, yeah?" Lando murmured flirtatiously.
"Yeah."
"You missed me, huh? What did you miss most about me, my princess?" He asked, starting to place kisses on your collarbone, moving your hair to push it back.
You let out a sharp gasp, taking a few steps back, pressing your back against the locked door.
You feel incredibly amazed, loved, and best of all, you know he's going to give you all the affection and great sex in the world just to make it clear that he cares so much about you.
Now you feel your heart racing, feeling the adrenaline rush knowing you're in a place that's almost public yet private, but despite all that, you don't give a damn: you needed him, your favorite brit.
You placed one of your hands on the back of his head and with the other, decided to massage the bulge visible under his pilot's suit. Yes, Lando had been hard ever since he grabbed your arm to lead you to the break room, away from the gossiping eyes that were ruining your moment.
"You're a shameless, my princess," Lando whispers, placing kisses on your neck.
You moaned into the brunette's ear. Your right hand squeezed the bulge even harder, making Lando's cock stand out even more through his suit. He let out a soft grunt, filled with easy pleasure.
You never thought about this moment. You and Lando weren't a couple, but you both wanted to be, despite the reputations at stake. And that didn't matter; what mattered most to you was enjoying every moment you shared so you could remember them as the best days of your lives in the future.
"Lando... Don't stop" You gasped in search of more things and he was going to give it to you without thinking twice.
He squeezed your ass right now, giving you a few gentle spanks while you couldn't control yourself, as your moans sounded tender and you were ecstatic.
You walked beside him to push him against the black couch, opening his legs slightly and kneeling down as you slowly pulled down his pilot suit. His eyes watched your movements and he smirked, knowing that he had turned you into a girl full of mischief and pure shamelessness.
"Are you going to suck me off, princess?" Lando declared, though it sounded more like an obvious question. "Look what i've turned you into. You look like a cute little slutty princess looking for british cock."
"And you love everything i do," you said, leaving the suit at his ankles as you watched how the boxer was exploding with his cock under the fabric, suffocated and about to be released by her.
"Are you going to eat it all this time, or are you going to give up like last week?" Lando asked mockingly.
"I'll eat you whole, so you shut up already."
Lando lets out a deep moan as he feels your lips wrap around his entire cock and your tongue flicking over the tip, beginning to bob up and down your head as you enjoy sucking him off.
You roll your eyes as he grabs all your hair in a gentle tug, gently fucking your mouth a little, but at the same time, wanting you to make a few gurgles. Of course he was going to be sweet on you, but he didn't want to keep it that way for too long: Lando hoped he could make you his the way you deserve to feel a good cock in your pussy.
You felt him take the length of your mouth out and straddle you. He began to massage your ass vigorously until he saw you take off your shirt, revealing your lacy white bra. Your boobs were a gift from God in all their splendor.
"You want me to eat your breasts, huh? You really do. I can see the pleading in your eyes, princess." Lando signals with his words, placing kisses on the tops of your breasts, biting a little before starting back to his previous task: your neck.
He loved leaving hickeys on your neck knowing your older brother, Charles, would ask about it later.
In one swift motion, Norris slides your panties to one side to slide his index and middle fingers between your folds, feeling how wet and horny you are for him at this moment.
"Look how wet you are for me..." Lando whispers. "You can't wait for me to fuck you, can you?"
"You're a bastard... Don't torture me like that..." You mumbled breathily, letting out several high and low moans so that no one could hear that the two of you were practicing... Certain sexual activities in the room.
"I'm not going to torture you," he says, moving away from your neck to look at you with a burning hunger. "You know i'd give it to you without a second thought, princess."
"Put your cock in me. Now." You ordered, panting.
"How do i ask? Be polite to your boyfriend." Lando says, smiling when he saw the sparkle in your eyes, knowing you'd heard the word 'boyfriend'. You both knew you weren't anything, but he gave you hope. "Say 'please' and i'll let you ride me however you want."
Your pussy was dripping in a way you couldn't believe because the small vaginal fluid stained the skin of Lando's cock a little, making your folds slide a little over the length.
You watch as the british man pulls two fingers out of your core and brings them to his mouth to taste some of your fluids, and he smiles when he tastes the liquid.
"Please... Let me ride you," you begged, watching as he positioned his cock at your pussy hole and slowly lowered your hips.
You moaned as you felt your walls tighten while Lando let out a deep growl, visualizing the expression on his future girlfriend's face, her eyes rolling in pleasure, her mouth open and her head thrown back... It was all pure perfection.
Sometimes, being Charles's sister was almost too much of a blessing, because you had prizes where you enjoyed a ton of situations like these. No matter where you were, you let yourself be carried away by Lando and his perverse, cheeky british thoughts.
Riding the love of your life is one of the best things in life. You could hear the slapping of skin, your pussy sliding more smoothly with his cock inside you, thrusting in and out smoothly, quickly, captivating you, making you feel an unforgettable experience.
Lando puts his hands behind his head, watching you ride him, how your breasts bounce in your bra and how your moans are high-pitched, full of strong pleasures. The McLaren driver doesn't hesitate to lower one of his hands to make you lower the straps of your bra, visualizing how your nipples are hard, how the fat of your tits are seen before him.
You kissed him with pleasure, resting your breasts on his chest while you jumped wanting to make him feel in fucking paradise and you knew that he loved it, that he loved this position because right now, he was gently strangling your neck, not wanting you to separate from the rough kiss.
"You're mine, princess," Lando murmurs between kisses.
"All yours, Lan..." You said between moans and hot kisses.
And so the two continued enjoying the ride, until they learned that hours later, Charles would find out that a formula one driver had been fucking his little sister for months.
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lovings4turn · 29 days ago
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CAMERA FLASH CRASH !
pairing: lando norris x reader 1.2k
summary... being a formula one driver, you'd think that lando would be much more adept at not crashing into walls. apparently where you're concerned, this skill goes out of the window.
becca's notes... aka i saw that video of lando bumping into a wall and said okay but what if it was reader's fault though .. edited and reposted because i can sorry !!!
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YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN one for wanting to appreciate and romanticise every little moment of your life. it’s the reason why your camera roll is fit to burst with photos and videos, far beyond the capabilities of your icloud storage (despite, annoyingly, already paying extra for added gigabytes), and why you make a point to carry some form of camera with you in your purse whenever you go out; digital, disposable, whatever. 
if it fits, it goes.
thus, it’s no surprise to anyone, and especially not to lando, that race weekends are like christmas for you. if you can manage to make breakfast in bed with him into an aesthetic image, your poor camera stands no chance in the face of four whole days in barcelona. 
you’re following lando through the paddock, letting him guide and navigate you through the throngs of people, accepting his explanations for where you were headed next without complaint or question. his lithe fingers are interlocked with your own, the usually soft jingle of his bracelets masked by the cacophony of noise that is a formula one paddock, and lando makes an effort to keep you close to him. 
i hate this part, lando had confessed to you once under his breath, the moment you had both entered the paddock and his hand slipped into yours instantly, fingers curling around your own like he was trying to permanently tether himself to you. all the cameras. too fuckin’ busy. 
you couldn’t blame him. the cameras and people weren’t even there for you, didn’t really spare a glance in your direction, and yet you still felt a little like a zoo animal, poked and prodded at by sticky fingers behind a glass. 
you’re both headed towards mclaren hospitality, where the crowds have thinned out, this area limited more to staff and personnel. lando’s shoulders have lost their tension, his expression has grown a little easier, and the sun catches his tan features just right. he almost seems to flourish underneath the warm glow, his eyes crinkling as he smiles just so, exposing the near imperceptible gap between his two front teeth that you’d fallen in love with so many months ago. 
your hands twitch, and you feel the pressing urge to take a photo, to immortalise this moment of candid beauty and plaster it on your wall amongst the many other photos of you and lando, for memories. 
lando would later ask exactly what it was that you wanted to remember about that, honestly not too extraordinary, moment, considering that he was doing nothing special. unless, that was, that you particularly admired his ability to place one foot in front of the other and walk without struggle.
he, of all people, should get it, you’d counter, bringing up the second instagram account he;d created with the sheer intention of housing all of his own miscellaneous snapshots. no argument would work, though: humility seems to be his hubris, and when he himself is the muse, lando doesn’t seem to be able to comprehend the appeal of the mundane. 
it doesn’t stop you, though. 
you fall back a little, settling just a few strides behind his own and letting your grip on his hand slip as you fumble through your chaotic purse in search of the familiar weight of your digital camera. you find it nestled between a lipgloss and your sunglasses, and clumsily free it from the confines of your bag. 
orpheus leaving the underworld, lando turns to search for you, the absence of the weight of your hand in his own concerning to say the least, especially in such a busy location that you aren’t too familiar with. he doesn’t care if you’re a grown woman, lando is a born worrier when it concerns you.
a soft breath slips from his lips when he realises you haven’t strayed far. no, you’re only a few paces behind him if that. a disbelieving laugh leaves him as he watches you lift the camera up to your face, placing the viewfinder at your eye with a soft squint.
“smile,” you instruct playfully, a sing-song tone slipping into your words as you try to frame the image as best you can, considering lando is still walking. “look so pretty in the sun.”
like a siren song, lando is unable to resist your sweet voice, and does as he’s told without hesitation.
it’s like your cadence alone has the ability to tinker with his brain, the sound waves caused by your speech somehow garnering the ability to rearrange the chemicals in his brain and leave him absolutely powerless to your whims and fancies. it’s close to brainwashing, if you ask him, and it’s absolutely unfair. 
a toothy grin pulls at his lips as he turns to face you, and though he’s posing, his smile is far from fake. unfortunately, it lasts for all of three seconds, and you’re left with little time to snap the perfect photo. 
lando’s body meets something concrete, solid, the force causing him to take a step back with a soft grunt of effort, and jesus fucking christ. in front of you, his own team, and god knows how many cameras, lando has just walked face first into a wall, all because he was too busy cheesing at your stupid digital camera to remember that the human body cannot, in fact, materialise through solid matter.
a collection of laughter bubbles up around him, teasing noises and remarks already beginning to fly through the air, and although lando feels his cheeks begin to dust pink, he cannot help the shrieking giggle that escapes his own form. 
“please tell me you got that,” he says, shoulders shaking with laughter as you approach him, tears of amusement forming in your own eyes. lando’s body curls around you as he laughs, all but draping his weight against you as you pull up the photo.
there, immortalised forever in pixels, is the exact moment before lando slammed into the wall. top ten photos taken before disaster, lando would later refer to it as. you can see the wall looming dangerously close to him, almost foreshadowing his fate, but lando is none the wiser, his attention fully focused onto you. 
you’ve both dissolved into a lump of giggles, not even caring that you’re likely blocking other people from entering the building as you attempt to compose yourselves in the doorway. 
“try not to do that in the race later, yeah?” you tease, reaching up to swat the brim of his cap down over his eyes, momentarily obscuring his vision. “don’t think those walls will be so forgiving.”
he pushes it back and is instantly met with your beaming face, mascara smudged very faintly underneath your eyes from where your tears of laughter had disturbed the makeup. lando swipes it away with a thumb, the need to fuss over you ingrained into the fibre of his being.
"don't worry about me, baby," lando drawls, voice the epitome of teasing and mirth. "won't have your pretty face there to distract me."
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sanjisluvbot · 4 months ago
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·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· Intuition
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-`♡´- PAIRING: Yandere Batfam / Neglected Black fem reader
-`♡´- LINK TO: Masterlist
-`♡´- SYNOPSIS: All you've ever been was ignored, so why not move to a new city. Everything was glitter and gold till that phone call you decided to finally pick up. From nothing you quickly became their most important something, but this, this was no regular 180. This family was drowning you, begging every waking moment for a forgiveness you don't see yourself handing out.
-`♡´- NOTES: I hope ch 2 is enjoyed as much as ch 1!!!! Not completely edited ( sorrryyy) MWuah! Oh, taglist is still open !!! Also, no warnings yet because it's not that scary
The hours flew by, and you distracted yourself from your previous encounter with your father by attempting to continue your painting. Darkness began to overtake Gotham like a blanket of death and your inspiration was stuck in the big apple.
You were dreading this ‘dinner’ and the discussion that apparently needed to be had in front of the whole family. Was this a sick way of humiliating you for trying to move on from them? Was your escape to New York so angering that they needed to drag your back to the city and remind you of their existence.
You showered off the new version of you. Digging into your closet, finding the girl you used to be. Dark colored tops, dresses, everything, dark and depressing. You shrugged on something neat, something you saw akin to armor to deflect the painful remarks and ridicule you're expected to face. Dinner got closer and soon you were called by Alfred, beginning your trudge to the dining room. 
Getting closer you heard distant laughs. Bile begging to rise to your throat. Dick and Tim laughing at whatever psycho shit came from Jason’s mouth, two distinct female laughter rang your ears into oblivion as well.
When you stepped into the room you swore you could hear your own blood rushing through your ears. Their eyes all piercing, expectant of you. Wordlessly you sat down keeping your head high facing the door to the kitchen where Alfred was thankfully walking out with drinks. 
They all drank in your appearance. They pretended to continue their chatter, but kept quieter, wanting to observe you. You finally looked like the girl they remembered only with radiant skin and a different hairstyle. Your clothes held a different fit as well, but the boys were trying their best to pretend you hadn’t put on a few sizes since the last time they truly paid attention to you.
Or maybe they were trying to pretend you weren’t the girl they relentlessly bullied and pushed past for a decade. No one wanted to speak up first, each and everyone, besides Damien, were anxiously anticipating Bruce’s arrival. 
The young boy observed you intensely, Head to toe, from your outfit when you first arrived to the little facial twitches you made interacting awkwardly with your father. He was enamored at your complete 180. Your timid behavior and crying over the way your siblings fooled around had angered him, he couldn’t understand why you would behave so childishly in a family like the Wayne's.
He noticed the way you were still shrinking away from them, pretending you were an innocent victim. He remembered the other day going through the computer in the bat cave, seeing all the extensive research they had done on you. 
His heart racing in pure anger seeing as you let men grope and kiss you ass soon as you left the manor. He sneered at you with just that memory and your eyes widened finally picking up his radar. Surprisingly you rolled your eyes at his behavior. Just as he was about to speak he heard the sound of his father’s heavy footsteps. 
Bruce sat down with all his children, happy to be once again surrounded by those who gave him the will to live. His eyes landed on you, in your old clothes looking as pretty as one of your paintings. Which reminded him he never got to look at the one you were currently working on due to his nerves. His confidence grew with the rest of his children in the room with him. The conversation tonight would begin the mending of your relationship with the entire family.
Alfred began bringing plates out and Bruce pondered on whether he or Dick should begin the conversation. What was found on your phone, whether or not you’d be returning to New York in September, how to begin the apology for not treating you like family for as long as you’d been here. He sighed to himself as he poured gravy onto his plate, your reaction to anything they needed to say tonight will go only one way. 
Earlier during the day the Batcave was occupied by Dick and Bruce. Silently working, waiting for one another to spark the conversation about you. Dick already knew Bruce wouldn’t start first so with a huff he swiveled his chair and rolled over to his side, “ We need to figure out how to begin the conversation later. Should we start with an apology or go straight into telling her off about the bullshit we found in her phone?” Bruce grunted angrily thinking about your behavior in some of these videos. “ I don’t want her to become too upset, but I am her father and you’re her older brother—I just can’t believe the way she acted!” 
“ Stop mentioning that, I don’t want to be angry for the rest of the day.”
“ I think we can ease into it all by talking about her public media, congratulate her, and then maybe she’ll be so happy she will understand when we mention not returning to New York!” 
The two were quickly forming a plan. 
The dinner dragged on, the weight of each passing second sinking deeper into your chest. The conversations around you felt hollow, their forced laughter and thinly veiled curiosity only amplifying the discomfort. Each member of the family studied you with an intensity that unsettled your nerves. Even Damien, the youngest of them all, couldn't stop watching you like a hawk, his dark eyes piercing through the veil of your calm exterior.
You couldn’t help but feel the undercurrent of tension. You could sense that they had been discussing you before you arrived—hell, you knew they had. The way they looked at you now was different, more calculating, as if you were some puzzle they were eager to solve. You clenched your fists under the table, trying to keep your composure.
Bruce was talking now, his tone warm, almost overly so, as he praised your work—your art, your paintings, your social media presence. You felt the air in the room grow thicker with each compliment, the undertone of admiration from your father felt almost too affectionate. But you couldn’t pinpoint why. It was when he mentioned your “public media presence” that you felt the first cold prickle run down your spine.
“Y/n,” he began again, leaning forward as though eager to engage you, “You’ve been doing so well, haven’t you? You’ve truly blossomed. The way you’ve built your own life away from Gotham—it's impressive. The way you’ve grown... you’ve become a woman, haven't you?”
His words felt too sharp, too scrutinizing, this couldn’t be the same man who barely glanced at you six months ago when you said you were leaving for New York.. The back of your neck prickled with an uncomfortable heat. You could feel their gazes intensifying as they looked at you, as if they were all waiting for something—waiting for you to fall into their trap.
“Thank you,” you said quietly, the words tasting foreign on your tongue. You were used to compliments on your work and achievements… just from other people. It had been so long since anyone in this room had complimented you like this, in fact, they never complimented you. Something was very wrong tonight and yet, the way they spoke about you now made you feel a warm tingle, as though you were a person to them, someone they truly loved. 
Bruce continued, his voice softer, “I think we can all agree that you’ve done well for yourself. But…” He hesitated, looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place. “There are still some things we need to discuss. Things that can’t be left in the past, like your time here in Gotham, and... well, your future. You don’t want to stay in New York forever, do you?”
His words hit you like a punch to the stomach. Your intuition was always right. The thought of going back to live in Gotham, back to that suffocating manor, back to being the girl in the shadows felt like a prison sentence. You had found your freedom—your space. You had begun to heal, to find yourself, and now, they were pulling you back into their world, a world you had never fit into.
“I—” you started to speak, but your voice faltered under the weight of the stares not wanting to anger them. “I’m fine where I am. I’m happy in New York.”
Bruce’s smile remained, but it no longer held any warmth. It was darker, more predatory. His gaze lingered on your face, calculating, almost like he was looking past you, into the future he was trying to map out for you. “You don’t have to worry about that. You’ll be home soon. It’s just a matter of time. A family needs to stay together, Y/n. We have a lot of healing and apologizing to do.”
The words hung in the air, heavy with meaning. His tone made your heart race, the chill creeping up your spine turning into a full-on shiver. You couldn’t look at him any longer. Eyes turned down to the table, anger and fear coursed through you.
Your father spoke as though there was no reasoning behind your leaving, as if you were some defiant teenager trying to get a rise out of daddy. The affection within his words, affection he never had for you even when you first arrived at his front door was laced in something sick and possessive.
Anger washed over your features when you lifted your head. His eyes held love, all the love you wished you had, the love every one of your siblings received all these years. 
You closed your eyes for a moment, breathing through your nose before putting on a fake smile. “I’m not sure what you mean, but I’m happy where I am,” you said, smile twitching.
Your attempt to brush off his words only seemed to intensify his focus. The others—Dick, Tim, and Jason—watched you in silence, their expressions unreadable. Jason’s eyes narrowed in a way that made your skin crawl, while Barbra and Cass exchanged a look, the kind of look siblings share when they know something is about to get ugly.
Bruce leaned forward, his voice dropping to a low murmur, barely audible over the sound of the clinking silverware. “We’ve been keeping track of you, Y/n. Of your social media, your friends. We want to make sure you’re safe, protected. You don’t need to be with those people, you know. You belong here, with us. You’ve always belonged here.”
You recoiled at his words, a sick feeling settling in your stomach. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks—they were treating you like one of their villains. All this time, they had been watching, following your every move, like predators circling their prey. The thought of them lurking in the shadows of your life made you sick to your core. 
But before you could finish, Damien cut in, his voice laced with venom. “You’re not even really a part of this family. You’ve always been difficult—a distraction. And now you think you can just live however you want? As if you don’t owe us anything?”
Your eyes snapped to Damien, your blood running cold. The way he spoke, the way his words cut through the air—this was why you had left without word. They didn’t care about you; they only cared about controlling you as they easily control Gotham. And now that you had escaped, they were trying to drag you back, to reclaim what they thought was rightfully theirs. 
You stood up abruptly, the chair scraping loudly against the floor. “I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this!” you shouted, your voice breaking with the emotion you had been holding in for so long. The room fell into a stunned silence as you backed toward the door, your pulse pounding in your ears. “I’m not coming back. I’m not staying here. I don’t belong with you.”
Before you could make it to the door, Bruce was there, his hand slapping into the door and the other gripping your wrist with a surprising force that made you stumble. “Y/n, you’re staying home. You don’t get to make these decisions, you’re still a child. We’re family. You don’t get to run away from us, we’re trying to fix our relationship.”
“ Fuck you, you decide nothing! You never once cared about me or shit I’ve done in my life—any of you!”
His grip tightened, you winced at the reminder of who he was, at your wince he released the tight hold, not fully letting you go. This wasn’t about love—it was about control. About ownership. He doesn’t care about you, not truly. Not until you had made your escape, made them remember that you were alive.
Damien moved to block the door, your eyes tracking the shining silver tucked into his hand, his eyes gleamed with malicious intent. “You’re not going anywhere.”
The others were closing in now, like wolves circling their prey. Dick, Jason—they all stood together, silent, but the weight of their presence was suffocating. Your vision began to blur, the familiar feeling of anxiety keeping you paralyzed.
“You can’t keep me here,” you whispered, panic rising in your chest.
Bruce’s smile was cold, calculating. “Oh, but we can. You know that very well. I didn’t want dinner to turn out this way sweetheart, so please, sit down and we can talk about this. Like family should. ”
And before you could react, Damien was upon you, his hands gripping your arms as he pulled you back into your seat with force a child his age shouldn't have. Your heart pounded in your chest, your instincts screaming at you to escape, but there was no way out and there was nowhere to run without one of them catching you.
“You’re stuff will be delivered back to Gotham in the next few days. Next week we can look into one of Gotham's art schools, doesn’t that sound fantastic sweetheart?” Bruce said softly, his voice laced with a terrifying finality. “And we can plan a family trip for the summer, all of us together, no matter what.”
The walls closed in around you, and the air grew thick with the way smiles grew onto everyone’s face. Your life in New York, your freedom, was nothing but a fleeting dream. You sat in your chair, tears falling from your eyes as you tried to hold back your sobbing. They all went back to eating, chatting with one another as if nothing went down, as if they couldn’t hear the way you sobbed into your sleeve. 
“ I hate you,” you whisper.
Bruce stops chewing, looking up at you through his lashes. “ I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t want to be rough with you.” He says, remorse in his voice. 
When dinner ended, you quickly got up, rushing out of the dining room. Embarrassment coursed through you. They saw you weak again, you weren’t as strong as you thought you had become.
You wished you could time travel, let yourself know that it’s not worth it to pick up the phone, maybe you should’ve gone on a trip by yourself for the first two weeks of summer, and leave your phone behind. The things you wished you could have done before you got to this moment made the tears fall faster. 
You locked the door to your room, feeling Damien’s presence hot on your heels as you rushed up the stairs. Talking to that little boy felt worse than speaking to anyone else.
You lay on your comforter, cradling yourself and tucking your legs into your chest. The emotions were too overwhelming, and the scenes played over in your head. You thought the dinner would be simple.
You wanted to just pop back into Gotham, show them how good your life was without them, and leave within the next two days. Deep down, it was evident that the random calls from unknown numbers, the calls from Bruce, and even asking you to return to Gotham were signs that something was amiss. All your achievements and change meant nothing when all you had to do was return to the manor to become a shell of yourself again. 
The manor was quiet now, and the sadness was dulling. You finally picked yourself up and walked to your dresser, getting a pair of pajamas. You changed and crawled under your sheets, reaching over to turn off your lamp.
Hours passed, and you still twisted and turned, falling in and out of sleep. Light began peaking through your window, and you groan restlessly. You didn’t want to spend another minute in Gotham with lunatics and the night came and went. 
You sit up finally, giving up on a full night of sleep. You needed to formulate a plan, how would you escape Gotham? Scratch that, how would you escape Batman and his super soldier vigilante children? You paced around in your room, there were cameras everywhere, among other things that would be able to detect you.
There was also the new-found hyperawareness of you that would be your biggest issue, you knew better than to think you could even leave your room without coming into contact with one of them in the hallway. 
You knew you needed to be realistic with your situation. You were dealing with Batman, Batman-level technology, Batman’s boys and girls, and you were the only one in the house without any training, so you can’t barge your way through the front door.
You didn’t want to play into heir shit either, nothing was forgiven or forgotten and the way Bruce and Damien handled you last night was infuriating. Incredibly painful as well, but there would be no more tears from you. 
When the sun hung higher in the sky, making Gotham a dull blue-grey, you finally left the safety of your room walking down the dimly lit hallway. You felt the cameras in the corners, the ones hidden in plain sight, how they zeroed in on you.
You ignored the desperate feeling in your legs, wanting to run and take you as far as they could. In the kitchen, you searched for something easy, wanting to be in and out in case all of them were still here. The top shelf held yogurt, so you reached for that when you turned around, you almost dropped it due to coming face to face with Jason. 
His eyes were hardened as usual and he dwarfed you completely. You try walking around him, but he reaches out and you jump back into the cool metal doors of the fridge. You refused to shrink into yourself and puff your chest looking him right in the eyes. He notices your behavior immediately, a smirk pulls onto his face. “ Y/n, the big apple changed you. You used to be so shy.” 
“ What do you need, Jason?”
“ Nothing...nothing it’s just—you’ve grown up.”
You rolled your eyes, trying to walk away from him again but he lightly grabbed your arm. You look down to his hand then to him before yanking yourself away.
He gripped you again, yanking you back and slamming you softly into the fridge, making you drop our yogurt. Your eyes widen when he begins speaking, “ You know, it’s impolite to walk away when someone is speaking to you. Or has partying and acting like you’re an adult got you forgetting your manners?”
“ The fuck are you talking about–”
“ You forget who you’re dealing with? You forget your daddy is Batman? You think we weren’t going to find out everything you did in New York, baby bird?”
You opened your mouth to speak but a few grunts from behind Jason stopped you. He rolled him eyes and released you letting you see Bruce and Dick. Both of their arms crossed, and you stood there defiantly. “ As Jason was saying, we found out about the partying, the weed, everything,” Dick explained rubbing the back of his head while his ears turned red. 
“ That’s your fault,” you scoff.
“ Y/n you can’t possibly think that dad is going to let you just run back to the city–”
“ I can do as I please! My entire life you people never even gave a fuck whether or not I was alive and now you’re all being weird and fucking crazy. Which is the main reason I left in the first place!” 
“ Sweetheart,”
“ No. Stop with the weird pet names that you have never once called me. I don’t want this, whatever you’re trying to do leave me alone. I’ve always been alone and I’m not going to let you invade my new happy life.” You scream.
The tears welling into your eyes again but you refuse to let them fall. Their faces drop seeing the tears, the remorse and guilt settling further in. The way you looked speaking to them with your heart arose possession. 
Your tears framed your face making you look like the child they all remembered, you were obviously still that child and you needed the protection, love, and support from you family. They would never allow you to be surrounded by such obvious bad influences again.
They made you drink, smoke, and act in ways no girl your age should be acting. Bruce walked over to you, brushing a hand through your hair, “ Sweetheart, I want to apologize for how I treated you, and I want you to understand that we are not doing this to hurt you.”
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