#edit: fixed a line to cover up a minor plot hole

[chuckling-chemist]

Happy Freedom Festivals, Pregame Edition! ((1/2))

((A 4th of July inspired piece for fantrolls. It’s in 2 parts to break up the story a bit, the first being the set up of the event/morning thereof and the second part involving the festival will be posted later. Also I split it up since, on its own, this still works as a cute, fluffy slice of life piece, so like, I feel less bad if I don’t finish it completely.))

((forward==>))

“Good morning Dontoc! How’d you ssssleep?”

Dontoc glanced over to the sound of the voice as he walked in the kitchen, smiling wryly at the petite tealblood pacing around the kitchen, wrapped granola bar in her hand. Her hair, normally pulled back in some kind of messy bun, fell down past her face and bounced around her head. She hadn't changed into any sort of casual wear, opting instead for a purple night shirt and black sweats.

“Would you like the honest answer or the nice answer, dear?” he asked.

They both knew the honest answer. Dontoc had found Pallia working in her lab upon his return from Careen’s in the daytime hours, watching a clear liquid overtop a viscous purple one bubbling inside a round bottom flask. He had to coax her to get any kind of sleep whatsoever, eventually winning her over with reminding her she's done the same for him...after requesting to assist her.

He’s almost certain it was past 3 pm by the time they went to their respiteblocks.

She stopped pacing to look at him threw askew half-moon frames. “Well you're sscertainly chipper for no ssssleep.”

“I could say the same for you,” Dontoc said as he took a seat. He sniffed the air, resisting to frown at the lack of breakfast smells.  “Unless...coffee? But I do not smell it.”

“Oh no I'm steadily running on sleep deprivation and excitement.” She grinned. He tried to ignore the small warmth it sent him. “Coffee sounds good though. Want some?”

Dontoc took a seat in a rickety chair, watching Pallia dart around the kitchen looking for everything needed. “Such a drink sounds exquisite. Though perhaps we should wait for Aisral. I do not wish to see her in the mornings without caffeine.”

“Aisral can make her own coffee,” Pallia huffed. She pulled down two ceramic white mugs from a low cabinet, setting both next to him. “It's not my fault she's decided to spend the morning of one of the biggest festivals of Sandyhorn this side of anything vaguely related to 12th Perigee working,” she said.

“I feel like they are all the biggest festival,” he said. 

“Oh no. You haven’t seen this one,” she leaned on the counter to face him, arms crossed. “The night Sandyhorn celebrates the turnaround from a slaver’s plantation hellhole to a landdwelling haven for tealbloods and down. What it is now.”

He did know, somewhat. Sandyhorn was a strange location for such a city of lowbloods, existing right off the coast in a surprisingly good location for tobacco and sugar trade, even with the extreme weather. While too sandy for most seadwellers too live comfortably (most seadwellers preferred complete underwater living to anything to do with the land), undoubtedly highbloods could and once lived comfortably. He could identify it even by the architecture. And now they just...didn’t. Sure, occasionally you’d run into a cobaltblood or indigoblood, but purplebloods were unheard of, and Dontoc could count the seadwellers living there on his fingers. But he never got much in the way of a finer description for what happened and how it stayed, only that it involved multiple slave revolts and the formation of a free port somewhere in the sand bar.

“To be fair, I have not yet seen the 12th Perigee festivities, what with Careen’s ball. And the one after that - the Feast of Fools? - the two of us were out of town for a whole week.” He ran a hand through his hair, guilt washing over him in waves. He had wanted to go to those events he just had...prior engagements. “Why did you not go to her ball, anyway? I never asked. Ah, if I can ask, that is.”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Not my thing. Can't dance. No one I like there. Drunken debauchery sounds more fun.” She climbed up onto the counter top and sat on her knees, now only just barely able to reach the top shelf. “All we have is a dark roast. That okay?”

“If it has caffeine, honestly I will be satisfied,” he admitted. “Just watching you is exhausting me.”

“Oh, uh...right.” She slowly slid off the countertop, bag of ground coffee beans in hand. “Sorry. I'm just excited.”

“As do many things,” he said.  “And normally I enjoy it but…”

She let out a short laugh as the coffee pot started up, bubbling just loud enough for Dontoc to register it started up. “When you're not running on three hours after working?”

Another wry smile, this one seen and returned by Pallia. “Something like that, yes. If you constitute what we did as working,” he said. His fins fluttered lightly at the memory of the day prior. It was working in the most technical sense. If that counted.

“As much ‘working’ as Aisral is doing right now, I'm sure,” she said. She slid into the chair across from him, making a face at the statement. “The casual version, of course. I just realized that sounded far worse out loud than in my head.”

Dontoc quirked an eyebrow. The air quotes, while not mimed out, could certainly be heard in her voice. “Mayola?”

It felt almost planned, the way the other seadweller, wrapped up in a fluffy teal bathrobe that barely covered her, pranced into the room and plopped herself next to him, sprawled between two chairs despite being smaller than Dontoc. Her mid-length dark hair gathered in wet clumps that left a trail of water droplets behind her. Aisral shuffled shortly behind, dressed in her standard pants suit outlined in accents of teal and fuschia. She walked immediately toward the kettle and started boiling water, grabbing a few teabags and ramen packets nearby it.

“The one and motherfucking only,” Mayola said.  She sniffed the air. “Oh and coffee! Perfect start to gettin’ drunk in the name of freedom.”

Dontoc had to resist rolling his eyes. Pallia didn't even bother. “You guys can have the next brew. I only put enough in for the myself and Dontoc.”

Mayola snorted, all interest suddenly gone. “Yeah, okay. Whatever. I'll just go buy some lemon squeeze juice at the festival anyways.”

“You can still have coffee--”

“I gotta meet up with Nivs anyhow. Seein’ as I'm seadwelling, I need some kinda excuse t’be down there.”

“You never needed an excuse before,” Aisral muttered, still not looking up. “Unless you feel a sudden urge of responsibility?”

The coffee pot let out a soft ding, signifying its completion. Something Pallia didn't notice at all.

“Responsibility? Nah. Just settin’ a good example for our new seadwellin’ friend here.” Mayola roughly clapped him on the shoulder, thoughts of coffee suddenly gone and replaced with Careen's warnings of volatile lowbloods roaming the streets to attack nobility and how he should stay inside.

“Uh...really? I, ah, well...from what I was told that does, that does not make--”

“Oh come off it. Mayola you're gonna psssych him out and Valeba'sss not here,” Pallia said. With a kind smile his direction, she added, “You'll be fine. Culling of highbloodsss would make the event too high profile.”

He nodded, anxiety only somewhat quelled. “Ah, yes. Right. Right. Thank you, Pallia. Which, by the way-”

“Hey wait who the hell’s Valeba?” Mayola asked. She shifted positions to only take up one chair now, but lounged as if it were a full throne.

“Valeba is my moirail.” He looked over, noticing the obvious confusion with her fins twitching violently enough they seemed to shudder and added, “You did not possibly think Pallia and I were--”

“No, course not,” she said airily. “I know Shorty’s quad situation like the back’o my hand--” he looked at Pallia for confirmation, who just shrugged noncommittally “--name sounds familiar 's all.”

“Excuse me if that sounds well ah...vague,” he said. Looking back at Pallia, he said, “Also, you should know--”

“Goddamnit!!”

Everyone swiveled their head toward the sound of the commotion. Aisral slammed down a large teacup, dark liquid sloshing all over the counter. “This is the last time I run on no sleep!”

Without missing a beat, Pallia called out, “I'm not cleaning that.”

“What even did you do?” Dontoc asked. “You were brewing tea correct?”

“Tea does not have ramen inside it!” Aisral snapped, flailing her arms about wildly.

Oh.

Dontoc couldn't resist a quiet chuckle at the angry troll in the corner, exchanging a glance at Pallia as he did so. She snickered behind her hand, but it was still plainly audible as a distinct hiss. Mayola didn't even bother hiding it, chortling loudly in the chair.

“Oh my God, I cannot believe you did it again!”

“Says the troll who is the reason I did not sleep because she just realized I am one of the only trolls in existence who actually files her claws,” Aisral retorted.

“And I'm out,” Pallia said. She stood up, leaving her mug on the table. “I'll get some breakfast at the festival. Do you wanna come, Dontoc? I'm guessing you don't have plans for the night.”

“I ah...well, yes, Careen is refraining from the celebrations,” he said. “She believes it to be dangerous for highbloods.”

Her exact words had been, “I for one refuse to partake in something so beneath myself if it's already a danger to my physical, social and mental health,” followed by chastising him for even showing any interest, but there was no reason anyone in the room had to know that.

“Princess thinks engagin’ with a hiveless troll professionally is 'dangerous’,” Mayola sneered. With a noticeable glare from Pallia, she hastily added, “But maybe she's different 'round ya, since you're not another heiress 'n shit. And still a seadweller. Ya gotta get a circle of friends like that somehow.”

“Perhaps,” he said. She probably wasn't. A little under a sweep in their relationship had soured it greatly for him, and if her lack of affection over the winter until Red Quadrant Appreciation Day in spring indicated anything, she likely felt the same. But there was no reason to dump that here. Really, breaking things off now would result in the least amount of hurt feelings for both parties. “She is quite friendly to those in her circle. All five or six of them”

Pallia cleared her throat loudly. “Uh, right. Well, whether you're coming or not, I need to get into actual clothes. I'm not gonna force you to go if you don't want to,” she said. She turned on her heel, hair swishing behind her as she started walking off.

Dontoc sighed, scurrying after her as she strode down the hallway. Was she...upset? Probably not. Pallia had generally been open with him, down to mentioning anything between her and Careen was personal and had nothing to do with him. He loved (liked, he told himself, he liked) that about her: he knew where he stood with her and never really was stuck guessing the way he was back in schoolfeeding.

Maybe he just struck a nerve. He could only imagine how annoyed he'd be if Pallia engaged romantically with someone who tormented him in his younger sweeps -- in particular a red or pale romance. Sure, he's polite enough in general and he could hold his tongue, but even he could only go on for so long talking about them before he'd have to leave the room.  

And that was ignoring the flush crush. He couldn't even imagine how the introduced variable would affect things

“No, no, do hold on! I would love to go with you. I-I, well I quite frankly, I do not know when I last went to such an event? There was one some time...some time ago. It was some sort of seasonal one. If this one is bigger, well, it would certainly be an experience,” he said breathlessly. “Also I truly am sorry, I do hope I did not upset you.”

She shook her head with a sharp-toothed grin. “You're fine. Had to get dressed anyway and Mayola always hogs the meatblock when she's here,” she said.

He let out a breath he didn't realize he held. “Oh. So it was not me?”

“Not at all.”

“Good. Good! Oh I was afraid I, ah...well...it is obvious I suppose.” He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “So ah, this festival then? Is it bigger than the one when I arrived in early summer?”

“Well yeah of course! That was the…” she stopped in place, right in the middle of the hallway, putting an enclosed hand over her mouth. “Oh God you've been here for over a sweep now and I barely even noticed.”

“You forgot about the flowers I gave you?” he asked. “Those were for our ah....well, anniversary is a bad term, I suppose, but...yes. That” 

She shook her head as she started to walk again, slower now that Dontoc followed her. “No. I remember those. I just didn't realize...huh. That long.” She stopped in front of her door, swinging the door open and stepping inside. “Guess I'm just pleasantly surprised how long you stuck around.”

Dontoc’s fins twitched pleasantly and he smiled. “I am glad I stuck around,” he said. He took a step inside, immediately stopped by a gentle hand on his chest.

“Unless Careen is somehow okay with you seeing me change, I'd suggest no,” she said, a light smirk playing on her face. “Plus I'm not sure I want you watching.”

His face burned. His gaze dropped from her and right to the floor, while his hands went to fiddle a non-existent bowtie. “I, ah, oh yes ah...right! I uh, my apologies for, well, not--not thinking and--”

“Dontoc?” Pallia said, her voice light. “It's fine. Go get dressed. I'll meet you at your room.” With a reassuring smile, she slowly shut the door as he turned away. He was only a few steps away as the door softly clicked into place.

Dontoc stopped. Something was missing. “Pallia?” he called out, hoping she could hear him.

No answer. He walked back up to door, giving a few, louder-than-usual raps so she could hear. “Pallia?”

He could hear swift footsteps, then a crack in the door as her head poked out. He kept his gaze pointedly at her eyes, refusing to even possibly look any further down and entertain the possibility she wasn't dressed appropriately. Such wouldn't be proper.

“Hm?” There was no annoyance in her voice, only curiosity.

He gave her a sheepish smile as color tinted his cheeks. “I am sorry to say, but I do believe we forgot the coffee.”

((1/2))

((Like what I write? Buy me a coffee!))

[a-bit-too-much-of-a-zelda-fan]

LinkedUniverse Fanfiction Ch. 15: Painting the Town

Stop! You’ve Violated the Law!

So, you’ve stumbled upon this original post for my Linked Universe fanfiction. That’s okay, it happens to everyone. As of March 2021, I’ve uploaded the entirety of this fanfic to my Archive of Our Own page. Along with finally giving the story a name–Oops! All Links: A Linked Universe Story–I made substantial edits to some of the chapters. These range from minor stylistic revisions to fixing a gaping plot hole that kinda completely broke the character conflict in the earlier chapters. I also renamed and renumbered (but not reordered) the chapters. Specifically, this is now Chapter 17: To Sell a Butterfly (Pendant).

The AO3 iterations of these chapters are the definitive versions. So, if you would like to read this fanfiction, please do so on AO3, right here. With this embedded link. Hehe. Geddit? Link?

Note: My screen name on AO3 is FrancisDuFresne. Yes, that is me. I am not plagiarizing myself.

Anyway, for posterity’s sake, the rest of the original post is below the cut.

It’s finally here! Wow! ... If you thought the long wait would end with a chapter the scale of “Fire,” you’ll be sorely disappointed. Sorry, folks. Still, now we finally get to see more of Selggog and the Links’ quest. When we’re talking my fan narrative, what can beat the hijinx of the Heroes of Wind and Twilight? Word Count: 1576

“So why’d you come with me, instead?” Wind asked.

Twilight looked down to his friend and shrugged. “I didn’t want to sit around waiting for Wild to find weapons he liked. Potion shopping beats that, at least.”

Wind glanced upward at passing shop signs as they walked down one of Selggog’s many busy streets. The others sent them to resupply on potions. Hyrule had finished the last of their stock following their skirmish with the Hinox. The two of them had been searching for an apothecary for the past half hour.

The elder of them sighed. “We should ask someone.”

“Where’s the fun in that, though?” Wind countered. He was jovially bouncing about on the balls of his feet with each step. “Having absolutely no idea where you’re going makes it a little adventure!”

“Aren’t we already on an adventure?”

Wind frowned. He clasped his hands behind his head and looked up. White, fluffy clouds dotted the otherwise clear sky. “Yeah, I guess,” he said somewhat dejectedly. Then, more chipper than before, “Well, it can be a side quest. How about that?”

“’Side quest?’ Kind of a silly name for it.”

“Yeah? Well… I like it.”

Twilight let out a bark of laughter. “Maybe it’ll stick.”

Some passersby knocked shoulders with the Links as the streets became busier. “Ack!” Wind grunted. “You know,” he called out to someone ahead who had rammed into him, “wouldn’t kill you to say sorry!”

“Shhh,” Twilight hushed sharply. “We don’t want—“ he was cut off by someone bashing his shoulder—"unneeded attention.”

Wind rubbed his shoulder and looked up to his friend. “You think they’re always this in a rush?”

“Dunno. I’m not used to city life.”

“Yeah,” Wind said. He thought back to Windfall Island, which he used to think of as a metropolis. “Gotta say this place is a bit bigger than I’m used to.”

Twilight patted his pockets. Satisfied everything was where it should be, he glanced at his partner. “Just make sure no one filches anything. You have your wallet, right?”

With a pffft, Wind checked his own pockets over. “Of course I d—”

A pause. “Wind?” Twilight asked. He stopped walking.

The youngest hero looked up at his friend with a sheepish smile. He raised his arms in a guilty sort of half-shrug. “Wind,” Twilight said slowly, “Don’t tell me you—”

“Yep.”

“By Ordona…” he cursed, smacking his forehead. He thought that over. Why did I just hurt myself? I didn’t do anything wrong. He promptly smacked Wind on the back of the head.

“Ow! What the heck?”

“What did we tell you?!”

“To watch out for pickpockets…” Wind admitted with his head hung, kicking at a pebble on the road.

“And did you?!”

Wind looked up.  His wide eyes seemed to burn with anger Twilight had never seen. “No, Twi!” he shouted back. “I didn’t! So can you stop yelling at me and making me feel like crap so we can go find it?!”

Twilight was about to fire back, then paused. For all Wind had been through, he was still just a kid. He sighed and looked around. Some people had stopped and were staring at them. “Well?” he called out to them.

They shrugged and went back to bustling down the street on their errands. When Twilight turned back to his friend, he found him breathing deeply with his eyes closed. “Hey,” he began, “I didn’t mean t—”

“Stop,” Wind interrupted. He opened his eyes and met Twilight’s gaze. “Just because I’m cheery most of the time,” he whispered. Twilight could barely hear him. “That doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings like everybody else.”

“I—”

“Just remember that.”

Twilight had never seen the youngest Link upset enough to yell. He really had struck a nerve. “Okay,” he said. “I will.”

Wind’s expression softened. “Thank you. Now let’s find my wallet. What’re we gonna do?”

“I would suggest we ask Sky to borrow the Master Sword for its dowsing ability.” He considered this. “But even if it was willing to help, there are so many wallets in this town that it probably couldn’t pick yours out of the crowd.”

A thought struck Wind. “What about your wolf sense?”

Twilight looked around. The streets were packed with people going about their business. He remembered how the residents of Castle Town reacted to seeing his beastly form. “No. I don’t want to scare all these people.”

“Fair,” Wind replied. “But what else can we do?”

“Uh…” he muttered, wracking his brains. “I… I don’t know.”

Wind’s jolted to attention as if shocked by a yellow ChuChu. The sudden movement made his partner flinch. “What if I just earn back all the money that was stolen?” Wind suggested, thrusting his arms down, palms up, as if pointing out something totally obvious.

Twilight’s brow furrowed. “That might actually work…” he admitted pensively. “How much was in there?”

Silence. Well, at least between the two heroes. The townspeople were loud and rowdy as ever. “Um…” Wind said, clearly stalling. “Not too much.”

“Don’t dick around with me. How much?”

“About two-fifty?”

“That’s a lot of smashed pots,” Twilight joked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms. “How do you plan on earning that much?”

The young seafarer dug in his pouch and pulled out a necklace. “I’ve got some treasures I can sell. How many people here would buy a chintzy necklace with a butterfly pendant?”

“With this many people, hopefully at least a couple.”

“How much should we charge?”

“How many do you have?”

“Seven.”

Twilight nodded. “Anything else?”

Wind shook his head. “Some trinkets, feathers, a lot of junk.”

“Right. Well, let’s get started.”

“Hoi!” Wind called out to the crowd. “Beautiful butterfly necklaces here! Twenty-five rupees apiece!”

No one walked over to them. The crowds just kept moving by. Undeterred, Wind repeated his sales call even louder. This turned some heads, but nobody came. He tried once more. The second-floor shutters of a nearby building slammed open. A disheveled old man in a sleeping cap poked his head out. “Quit yer yapping!” he shouted down to the Links. “People are trying to sleep!”

The two heroes glanced at each other, paused a moment, then shrugged in unison. Wind hooked his thumbs on his belt and shifted his weight to one leg. “Guess that’s out the window,” he said.

Twilight let out a frustrated sigh. If he had just been more careful, we’d have potions by now, he thought bitterly. No, stay focused. We need to figure this o—

“Oh!” Wind exclaimed, again startling his friend. “Let’s find a shop that will buy some of my stuff!”

“Uh, I’m pretty sure most shops won’t buy off strangers. They’re trying to sell their junk, not buy yours. Think how fast they’d go bankrupt.”

Wind shook his head. “No no no, I mean a treasure teller! Someone who deals in treasures. There was one on one of the islands I sailed to. I’m sure there’s one around here.”

“Alright,” Twilight said, “how are we gonna find one? Search every street? That didn’t quite work for the apothecary.”

“Look for a sign with a rupee on it,” Wind replied, scanning the street for such a sign. “There’s gotta be one aro—OH! Look!”

Wind pointed out to the building directly across the street from them. Sure enough, the storefront had a multitude of rupees painted all over it. Twilight sighed in relief. “That was easier than expected.”

“I wouldn’t get too excited. We have no idea what they’ll offer for my stuff. These guys can be fickle.”

“Right.”

The two heroes crossed the street and entered the store. The walls were covered in a bizarre wallpaper filled with celestial bodies and distorted floral patterns. The shelves immediately drew their eyes. Treasures and spoils lined the perimeter of the store. Everything from golden statuettes to fine china to jewelry to precious stones rested upon the shelves. A beaded curtain hung in the doorway between the store and some back room.

While Wind marveled over the treasures, Twilight strode to the ornately-decorated counter. It was adorned with an equally beautiful silver bell. He gently tapped its button. A soft, pleasing ding rang out. No one came after a few seconds, so he rang it again, a little harder this time. He strained to hear any movement in the back room but was left wanting.

By now, Wind had refocused and walked up beside his friend. They glanced at each other. A look of confusion and mild annoyance passed between their eyes. Wind shrugged. “Hello?” he called slightly louder than the second bell ring. Nothing.

“Oh, come on,” he grumbled with a huff. He hooked his thumbs in his belt again. “Maybe no one is here?”

Twilight shook his head. “With this kind of merchandise, the door would have been locked tight.”

“So why the heck is no one coming?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Alright, here goes,” Wind said with resignation lacing his voice. He cupped his hands over his mouth. “Hoi!” he yelled. “Is anybody here?!”

Nothing. The hairs on the back of Twilight’s neck stood on end. His eyes narrowed. Honing his wolf senses had carried over somewhat to his Hylian form. Something didn’t sit right with him. “Quiet down. This doesn’t feel right.”

Just then, a drawling whisper came from directly behind the young heroes. “No need to be afraid, dearies…”

[sunnydwrites]

The Editing Phase

Hey everyone, it’s Abby with another writing advice post! This week we’re talking about the part of the process we hate to love: editing. Seeing as I’m in the middle of this process with Smoke Shadows now, I figured it couldn’t be too bad of an idea to make a big ol’ post on it.

Disclaimer: This guide won’t be comprehensive. I intend to cover as much as I can, but I won’t get to everything. These aren’t hard-and-fast rules; the process varies from author to author.

Step One: Pure Agony [a.k.a. The Wait]

So, you’ve finished the first draft of your project; that means it’s time for something much worse, and that’s not writing. You think writing is bad? Try not to do it for about a month.

But here’s the fun part: You don’t have to stop writing completely. What’s suggested is you leave that project alone, no matter how many ideas for improvement you get. You can work on a different project, be it writing another first draft or getting the planning of it started. The biggest nightmare for new writers is they would have to break their writing routine, but this isn’t true at all. A few writing-involved things you could do during this stage:

Start brainstorming ideas for a new project

Start writing or editing a secondary project (one you won’t get too attached to for the time being)

Try your hand at other writing-related things. Maybe it’s poems, short stories, AU’s, writing prompts - keep the writing flow going.

Read! Check out a few reference books or popular books from your genre; see what they did and realize there was a lot of editing that went into those, it’s a big morale booster.

Waiting to continue in your story doesn’t necessarily mean you stop writing all completely. This stage means you’re giving your brain a break from this project, so it’ll be easier to take a step back and see what needs fixing. (Honestly, I would recommend this between every draft, but not for a month - maybe a few days or a week, just so you come back refreshed.)

Step Two: Over-Exaggerating Minor Details [ a.k.a. The First Read-Through]

The first read-through can be a nightmare. You catch a mistake and immediately think: “Oh my gosh, I’m the worst writer ever.” (Don’t worry, we all have those moments.)

And, because we’re writers, we get the immediate urge to fix everything as we see it. Usually these things are grammatical errors, and very quickly we forget this is the first draft; there are much, much bigger things to worry about than the correct spelling of champagne or where that semi-colon should go. In the read-through, try to be blind to grammar and spelling errors. You’re looking for things like:

Plot holes

Inconsistency in things like world-building, characters, and relationships

Confusing areas

Parts of your story (scenes, paragraphs, maybe chapters) that don’t need to be there

Parts of your story that might need for content for clarification

Integration of subplots

Things that don’t make sense and either need more information or need to be changed

Descriptions

What you want for this stage is a good, old-fashioned notebook (or an open document, if that’s what you prefer). Write these things down as you read so you can fix them later, but don’t try to fix everything as you read. Fixing one thing could screw up another, and you’ll want to make sure everything flows together seamlessly.

It’s really easy to get discouraged during this step. So what you’ll also want to do is note the things you noticed that you did well and write those down, too. Look for things like:

Good pacing

Consistency

Efficient and in-character dialogue

Well-explained parts of the story

Descriptions

These all deserve to be recognized as well! You need to keep your morale up and it’s easy to forget that nobody can create an absolute masterpiece on the first try. Balance the good with the bad in your notes - this will also make it easier to see what does and doesn’t need to be changed.

Step Three: Pure Agony 2.0 [The Re-Write]

This step should come after you’ve completed the read-through, note before. You want to have all of your ducks in a row first. Once you’ve gotten your notes ready and you’re prepared for Stage Three™, it’s time to get going.

The re-write tends to get a bad rep (as you could probably tell from the title of this step). But it’s a heck of a lot easier than writing a first draft; here you have a direction for your story and you know what there is to work on. After all, you have a list, right?

Before you start this step, make a list of everything you want to improve on. Smoke Shadows has been quite the journey and I’ve gone through several versions (not drafts, versions) here, but currently I’m on the second draft. Of the fourth version. Anyway, not the point. For this draft my goals are to:

Increase the word count by at least 20k

Improve relationships between Jax and the home characters

Improve world-building in all parts

Work more with characters from the complex

Include more involvement with Big Bad

More on inner workings of the complex

More on inner thoughts of Jax - strengthen characterization

That’s a lot of improvement, and obviously I won’t get 100% of it done in this draft. The second draft is meant to solidify things like this and get them down; it’s a time for getting everything to flow more smoothly. The goal is to do the majority of the improvement things on your list, and everything will come together as you continue to fine-tune the story and get everything taken care of.

If you don’t do every single thing on your second draft list, that’s okay. There’s no limit to the amount of drafts you can write to get everything perfect, I promise.

Step Four: Everything Else [a.k.a. Drafts Three-∞]

This is the last step I’m going to include in the process, because the steps after this would be things like beta-reading and the professional edit - neither of which I have done yet.

So, step four is meant to be carried out on your own. You take these drafts to get everything as good as you possibly can. This step doesn’t necessarily entail any re-writes unless necessity calls for it, in which case nobody’s stopping you. But once you’ve got the major details down, the story should be operating like an actual story now. You should be looking at the smaller details, like:

Character quirks

Minor details about characters and the world

Dialogue

Descriptions

Inner thoughts

These are things that aren’t necessary an absolute need for a story, but that statement is only true if you want to write a story that seems a little unfinished. Adding these details makes everything a little more real; it may be tedious, but adding these brings you so much closer to creating an actual, functioning story.

And once you get these, it’s time for the line edits. Here you’re looking at the more minor descriptions, wording, grammar, and spelling. You should be fine-tuning everything to the best of your ability; line editing should be done at least twice to make sure you’ve gotten everything.

Maybe along the way you find a critique partner (shout out to @mangoandsnow who is like the best critique partner ever) to exchange stories and get someone else’s insight. Maybe you share your story with your friends and see how they like it. This stage is all about gaining confidence.

And... that’s as far as I’m comfortable going. Smoke Shadows isn’t too far along on it’s own but this is what I know about the editing process. Maybe once I get there I’ll make some posts on beta readers and the professional edit, but with no experience I couldn’t do the job justice.

So, that’s my advice for today. Happy editing and stay lovely <333

[a-bit-too-much-of-a-zelda-fan]

Linked Universe Fanfic Ch. 5: Smoke

Stop! You’ve Violated the Law!

So, you’ve stumbled upon this original post for my Linked Universe fanfiction. That’s okay, it happens to everyone. As of March 2021, I’ve uploaded the entirety of this fanfic to my Archive of Our Own page. Along with finally giving the story a name--Oops! All Links: A Linked Universe Story--I made substantial edits to some of the chapters. These range from minor stylistic revisions to fixing a gaping plot hole that kinda completely broke the character conflict in the earlier chapters. I also renamed and renumbered (but not reordered) the chapters. Specifically, this is now Chapter 6: Smoke.

The AO3 iterations of these chapters are the definitive versions. So, if you would like to read this fanfiction, please do so on AO3, right here. With this embedded link. Hehe. Geddit? Link?

Note: My screen name on AO3 is FrancisDuFresne. Yes, that is me. I am not plagiarizing myself.

Anyway, for posterity’s sake, the rest of the original post is below the cut.

Here we are again! Chapter 5 of my @linkeduniverse narrative. This one focuses a bit more on Warrior, who I feel that I neglected in previous chapters. Again, thank you so much @jojo56830 for creating this AU that inspires me to write more and more. Enjoy!

Word count: 1600

The sun shone brightly on the nine heroes. The breeze blew through their hair and ruffled their clothes. Metal equipment clinked with every step through the rustling tall grass. Crickets unseen chirped, ringing in their ears. Wildflowers sprouted here and there; Wild stopped every so often to inspect them.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Hyrule asked.

Wild was squatting next to a group of flowers. He looked up. “You never know what kinds of things you’ll come across in the wild, what they can do for you.”

Sky took up the rear. “Yep!” he said. “Flowers can be way more helpful than you might think.”

“Hey!” Legend called back from near the front. “You said it yourself, Wild; we have a day’s hike!”

Wild sighed. Indeed, the walk across hills and through a forest would take all day. He determined that when he looked at his Sheikah Slate’s map yesterday. He pushed himself to a stand and hurried back to the front. Having the map was an important responsibility, something he would never forget after the incident yesterday in the cave.

The chill and mist of the morning were starting to burn off now. The Links had been walking for about two hours since setting off from the beach. Warrior had them get up with the sun. He reasoned that if they did hit monsters like Wild said they might, they would still make it to the next village by sundown.

Warrior’s plans had rarely led the heroes wrong. He had told them that on his own quest, he needed to devise military-engagement-scale tactics on the fly. The best team player by far, his coordination and wit greatly overshadowed his relative conceit and pride compared to his companions. His cool head in battle was invaluable to the group.

“Let’s put our heads together here,” said Warrior. “We don’t want to walk into an ambush later on. There’s been a tad too many of those recently for my taste.”

“You’d think we would learn,” Time said with a shrug.

“Exactly! We should be learning. We’ve all been on our own adventures and saved the world multiple times, but where does that get us if we keep winding up in such danger?”

“I think I know why,” Four suggested, half-jogging to keep up with the taller of his friends. “I know this from my fragments. At first, we figured that of course four Links were better than one. If Link was an awesome swordsman hero, then four would be unstoppable.”

Wind jumped in: “Well, you all seemed pretty unstoppable to me. Those stalfos didn’t stand a chance against you.”

“Well, that’s now. We’ve come to terms that we are fragments, not copies. Green, Red, Blue, Vio. All shards of Link. Alone, we were less than Link. When we worked together, we suddenly became more than the sum of our parts.”

“Okay, how does that help us?” Legend asked.

“Here we are,” Four replied, holding his arms out to his companions, “nine Links. We’ve saved the world, slain great evil, wielded legendary swords. Put us together and of course it would seem that nine heroes are better than one. But that makes us headstrong and cocky. If we think that we’ll make it out of every encounter fine, we won’t care.”

Time nodded. “We need to remember that we can fail if we want to succeed,” he said. “Over the past few weeks, we’ve grown stronger and have begun working like a true team. Our battle yesterday was proof enough of that. We’re letting it get to our heads, though.”

“Right,” Warrior said. “In that case, let’s figure something out here.”

Wind sighed. He knew the importance of plans and strategies, but playing it be ear was his specialty. One doesn’t escape a fortress of monsters swordless by following the playbook.

Warrior was about to start discussing what they would do when they reached the forest when a scent caught his nose. Something burnt and ashy. He looked up. “I… guys?”

Plumes of thick, dark gray smoke were working their way up over the hills to their left. Orange-tinged embers floated down onto the swaying grass. The Links readied their weapons as they began sprinting up the nearest hill. “Wild!” Sky called. “Is there anything up there?”

Wild took out his Sheikah Slate and opened the map. His eyes darted across the screen. “No, it doesn’t look like it!” he yelled back. “Just more hills!”

“That’s odd,” Time muttered to himself. He shouted out: “Keep your guards up; we don’t know what we’re dea—”

His words got caught in his throat as they crossed over the top of the hill and got a good view of the land. It was unbelievable, and Time had seen many unbelievable things. There was nothing burning. There was nothing at all. Just more hills, more plains. Smoke still billowed upward, with no source in sight. Time could swear he could hear screams and shouts faintly but had no idea where it was coming from. He spared a glance at his companions.

Sky, Wind, Warrior, Wild, and Hyrule looked simultaneously concerned and confused. Flabbergasted, really. They had never seen anything like it and couldn’t make heads or tails of it. Four, Legend, and Twilight were frowning. Time suspected they were thinking along the lines he was. He started rummaging in his pouch.

“What the hell is going on?” Sky breathed. “There’s smoke, but nothing is burning.”

“What’s going on,” Time explained, “is likely that there’s something we can’t see by ourselves. Sometimes there are things hidden from our eyes that we can only see with some external help.”

Twilight spoke up. “Like a wolf’s heightened senses.”

“Or a Moon Pearl,” Four and Legend said in unison. They glanced with at each other with raised eyebrows. Clearly, neither knew the other had used a Moon Pearl before.

Time found what he was looking for. He held up his Lens of Truth. “Or this.”

He held it in front of his remaining eye. The moment the Lens passed into his line of vision, he saw what was truly happening. Indeed, there was a small village there set ablaze. Straw roofs and wooden walls burned up, churning out the thick smoke the Links could see from afar. Now he could see who was screaming.

“Well?” Wind asked. “What is it?”

Time stared at the scene. “There’s a village burning down there. The people need help.”

“How do we save people we can’t see?” Wild sounded skeptical, anxiety creeping into his voice.

“Maybe I can help,” Four said as he pulled a Moon Pearl out of his pouch. “I was hoping I was never going to need these again.”

Before the others got a good chance to look at the Pearl, he threw it further down the hill, closer to the smoke from a settlement he couldn’t see. “Let’s go! Follow me!”

He took off at a sprint, drawing the Four Sword and raising the shield his Zelda gifted him. Confused but determined, his companions ran after him. The moment the Pearl hit the swaying grass, it shattered, leaving in its place a circle a yard across. Bright blue light shot up out of it, higher than Time was tall. “What is that thing?” Wind yelled as they ran.

“A portal!” Four shouted back. “It’ll bring us into the world that village is in!”

At that moment, Four stepped into the portal and disappeared. The others dashed in after him. Hyrule brought up the rear and was the last to take the portal. He arrived to find the brightest and fiercest fire he had ever seen. His friends were standing there a few yards ahead, gaping at the scene.

Warrior’s mind raced, putting together their rescue plan. The factors ran through his head: Dozens of the small homes too burnt to save, at least two or three people per home, nine Links, four with alternate-world experience, one with superspeed, one with time-stop, one part-wolf, one capable of splitting into four…

We could cover more ground with three extra Links, Warrior thought, but using the Four Sword two days in a row could be too much for him.

“Alright,” he turned and said to the others. Any cockiness was gone from his voice, replaced by solemn determination. “Partner up. Sky with Four. Twi with Wind. Time with Hyrule. Wild with me. Legend, your Pegasus Boots’ speed will make you better alone.”

Legend nodded.

Warrior continued: “Four, your sword’s power would be helpful to cover more ground, but we’ll need you at full strength later. Do not split. Got it?”

Four waited a moment, as if contemplating arguing. Reasoning that using his sword twice in as many days could seriously hurt him, he nodded as well.

“Stick with your partner and take each house one by one. Find any survivors and send them back the way we came. Children, lame, and elderly take priority. The portal should lead them to safety. Don’t bother putting the fires out. It’s too late to save this place. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Everyone understand?”

A collective grunt of assent resounded among the Links. Warrior’s voice was filled with ice as he said: “Good. Let’s do this.”

The nine seasoned heroes took off at a sprint, Legend quickly gaining a lead. Only Twilight, Time, Wild, and Wind had borne witness to any large fire, but none as big as this. Still, they charged on. These people needed help, and what kind of heroes would they be if they didn’t try to help?