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spockandawe · 5 years ago

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HEY THERE, you have me interested in The Untamed but I'm a little lost as to where to start, there's both a 50 episode normal version and a 20 episode special edition, which should I watch/start with? Also WHAT does your svsss tag stand for? I'm seeing "The Untamed" and "Chén Qíng Lìng" and "Mo Dao Zu Shi" and "Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation" thrown around as synonyms or related pieces of media, but nothing with svsss!

Sure thing!!

Okay, to start with, I’d definitely go with the 50-episode version. It’s a Lot, and there is some padding added to the story compared to the original book, but twenty episodes seems really, really short to do justice to the central plot

(a quick skim of google tells me that the special edition leans harder into the original novel’s gayness, which the show has to be coy about, because china. i think there are expanded scenes featuring the two leads, which is awesome, because their acting is AMAZING, but that just means the plot scenes are even more compressed. I saw at least one person recommend that you not do the special edition unless you’ve consumed the story in at least one other more standard format already)

Also! Iirc, the show is available on youtube and netflix, among other platforms, though those two are wonderfully accessible. However, comma, I do hear from people fluent in chinese that the subtitles sometimes are inaccurate in unnecessary/unfortunate ways. From what I hear, viki has the best complete set of subtitles (I think there may be fansub projects in progress, but I am not at all in touch with those. I still haven’t watched the show myself).

And the general summary of my current webnovel fixation! There’s this webnovel author who goes by mxtx, who currently has three complete books out, which have all been translated into english. Then after I finished those, I started branching out into other authors and webnovels, though I’m not too deep into that end of the pool yet. I’ll break each book into a separate paragraph for clarity.

Oh, and. Each of these books is explicitly gay, and set in ancient fantasy china, in a wuxia/xianxia setting, which I’m not too familiar with myself, but I believe it functions a lot like how authors will use ‘ancient fantasy europe’ as a playground where they don’t necessarily need to match up to established countries/cities/etc, but they expect readers to recognize certain conventions, like I’d be able to recognize a western author writing a basic feudal setting, or recognize witches and wizards, without them explaining the whole thing from the bottom up. Since I’m not familiar, it raised the difficulty level a little for me to get into the genre, but the webnovel translators tend to use footnotes and I picked up a lot as I went on.

(if you are interested in any of these, novelupdates.com is a good central resource collecting links to various fan translation projects)

So! Mxtx. Her earliest book is The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (SVSSS), which is also the shortest and most linear of her books. The general premise is that a guy who’s been hate-reading this (straight) stallion harem webnovel with a dark protagonist. He goes to bed, and wakes up in the novel, as the protagonist’s dickbag teacher, who is doomed to eventually die horribly. He wants to not die, and is also a decent human being, so the book follows the “original” novel derailing from its intended path, and accidentally getting super duper gay. This one is about to come out in donghua form, but I think that may be its first non-book adaption.

Her second book, which was adapted into The Untamed/Chen Qing Ling (CQL), is also known as The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation/Mo Dao Zu Shi (MDZS), which really manages to be the hardest of her books to summarize. Wei Wuxian, the grandmaster of demonic cultivation, dies. Thirteen years later, he wakes up in someone else’s body. Most of the world would like him to stay dead, tbh, but he’s a good egg, and he and his old friend(????) go forth and solve a necromantic mystery together, and also there is romance-romance and ten million family feelings. This one gets nonlinear, with several extended flashback sequences, and the story STARTS at about the midway point of the plot. This has been adapted into an audio drama at least once, a manhua, a donghua, and now a live action show, so it goes by a million different names in its various formats.

Her third book, and the LONGEST, is Heaven Official’s Blessing/Tian Guan Ci Fu (TGCF), and oh my god, it’s so long, and I love it so, so much. This gets into high fantasy much more than the other two, including the idea that as people develop their cultivation and powers, they may eventually achieve immortality and ascend to the heavens. The story follows Xie Lian who achieved immortality and ascended to heaven! And then fell. And then ascended! And fell again. Eight hundred years later, he ascends for the third time. He meets Hua Cheng, the ridiculously powerful ghost king, who most of the other immortals are terrified of. But Hua Cheng seems to like Xie Lian! And Xie Lian thinks Hua Cheng is a sweet boy! (hua cheng is a sweet boy, but only for xie lian). This also has extended flashback sequences, but is a more linear story than MDZS, I think. Also it made me cry, which, wow, rude. I love it so incredibly much. This also exists as a manhua, but I think it’s still being published? I haven’t read it yet.

NOW. Mxtx is working on a fourth book, but it’s not out in chinese yet, never mind english. But I needed More. I was getting some SVSSS vibes from this one other book, which, *wobbly hand motions*, but I am enjoying the hell out of this book purely for its own sake.

Meatbun is an author with other books that I haven’t read yet, but I am currently in the middle of The Husky And His White Cat Shizun/Er Ha He Ta De Bai Mo Shi Zun (Erha/2ha), which is at this moment being adapted to a live action tv show called Immortality. There are MANY warnings that go with this book, though the google docs translation files do a good job of placing warnings at the front of every document and in front of relevant chapters. The general premise! Mo Ran basically conquered the entire world, put down all resistance by force, and was a super powerful but Kinda Dumb emperor. As part of this, he took his old teacher, who he despised with a burning passion, prisoner, and abused him a Lot. The story starts as rebels try to mount an assault on his palace, and Mo Ran’s cousin gets impatient with how slowly things are moving and runs ahead of the group. He finds that (suicide warning:) Mo Ran has... taken poison, and is in the middle of dying. This doesn’t stick. He wakes up as a teenager, apparently having traveled back in time, and starts living through events again, with the knowledge of his past life. It took me a while to warm up to this story, but ohhhh my goodness, it’s so TASTY. The translation for this one is ongoing, and I am in AGONY waiting for further updates.

So those are the ones I’m currently into and mostly blogging about! I also read Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir, mostly because feynite wrote an SVSSS fic set in the universe of that novel, which was good in some ways, left me cold in others (and the original novel is straight, with a society with rigid gender roles, so making it super gay in the fic made the setting much more interesting to me). Meatbun has other writing, which I haven’t sampled yet, but I am definitely interested in doing that sometime soon.

Sorry, I know this is a LOT, so if you have any other questions feel free to ask me!! I got into these mostly via being interested in the untamed, so I read them as 1) mdzs, 2) svsss, 3) tgcf, 4) erha, which was an order that worked well for me. But if someone was looking for a general order to read them in, independent of that, I might suggest 1) svsss, 2) mdzs, 3) tgcf, 4) erha. They’re all really good, and scratch different emotional itches, and each of them has at least a few characters who sucker-punch me RIGHT in the goddamn heart. They’ve been a HUGE help for me dealing with the restlessness and/or apathy of quarantine, so I’ve been evangelizing them to pretty much anyone who will listen to me, hahaha

#spock replies #long post/#suicide mention/#solluxisms

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hitchell-mope · 5 years ago

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(Film three. In Auradon. Bal’s apartments in the castle. After “best day of my life”. Mal’s in a pair of Ben’s boxer shorts and a doctor who T-shirt. Standing there)

Ben (looping his arms around her waist): hey

Mal: hey. How are you?

Ben: good. Good. And you

Mal: oh so much better now (she turns around) and is this all for me?

Ben: mmmmmmaybe?

Mal: well I greatly appreciate it whoa

(She’s turned around to get a better look at him. He’s, just like her. In boxers. Longish purple hair. And literally nothing else)

Mal: oooh I’m feeling very matchy matchy and very much mismatched

Ben: well there are two ways of remedying that. I could put a top on. OR. I could lock the door and soundproof the room and

Mal: lock the door I’ll soundproof

Ben (very happy): okay

Mal: oh my god!

(Under Ben’s shoulder blades are two jagged cuts from which are growing beating miniature mounds of flesh in a dark blue colour)

Ben: what’s wrong?

Mal: your back!

Ben: what! What is it. What’s wrong?

Mal: I. I. II don’t. Know. It looks like somethings growing out of your back

Doug (walking in briskly with Evie right begins): it’s probably dragon wings. The ember sped up the process I think

Mal: and how do you know that?

Doug: Hierachy And History: all levels of magic and their effects and uses. First edition illustrated.

Bal: can I?

Doug: yes you can borrow it. Hell. Keep it. I’ve got plenty

Mal: how do you know all this?

Doug: I uh bought literally every book about magic when you brought it back. Physical copies and on kindle

Mal: ohhhh. For a minute I thought you were mansplaining to us.

Evie: he’s not chad. He actually knows things. And why the hell aren’t you dressed?

Mal: well sis. We almost died a couple of hours ago so Ben and I were about to engage in a bit of glad to be alive

Evie: eww shut up

Mal: oh like you and Doug haven’t

Evie: that’s besides the point.

Mal: why are you here?

Evie: why do you think. Ben put a top on or something

Bal: no

Ben: I’m comfortable

Mal: I’m relaxed when he’s like this

(Evie sighs and looks defeated)

Doug: so what’s the plan

Mal: yeah about that. I’ve been thinking and I think I’ve connected the dots

Doug: oh?

Mal: yeah and it’s got to do with you and I sis

Evie (horrified): no

Mal: yah

Evie: no

Mal: yeah

Evie: nonono

Mal: yesyesyes

Evie: NO!

Mal: yes! Face it E we might be related

The boys: what?

Mal: think about it. Our mothers are the most self centred vainglorious batshit crazy bitches that side of the river Tiber. They would want the most powerful. Chernabog is a recluse and an altruist. The headless horseman has no mouth so can’t sing their praises. So all that’s left is the god of the dead

Evie: but I’m beautiful

Mal: and what am I. Corned beef?

Ben: I’d still marry you if you were corned beef if that helps

Mal: it does help surprisingly

Evie: but didn’t Maleficent say your dad was human?

Mal: villains lie E. That’s why I was always a disappointment

(Ben hugs her)

Adam (sauntering in like he owns the place): well isn’t that sweet.

Evie: what the hell are you doing here?

Adam: I’ve come to discuss the appalling situation that you let happen.

Mal: I’m sorry?

Adam: so you should be. Ben I have a plan. Put them all back and close it permanently

Doug: what

Adam: go back to the mine. It’s where you belong dwarf

Ben: ok you get out.

Adam: what?

Ben: you heard me. You’re not king. And you have no control over me my actions or my friends. So please. Get out

Adam: fine. But you should at least hear what happening since you had to have him save you

Doug: my names Doug but go on.

Adam: the people are in a panic. They’re terrified. If hades can escape others will try to. If you ask me

Bal and Devie: we didn’t

Adam: if you ask me I personally think it’s high time you do away with this ridiculous endeavour once and for all

Ben: no.

Adam: I wasn’t talking to you boy. I was talking to the future queen. Your people are scared. And even the poor are scared they lash out. Either way you’ll end up back where you cane from. You Carlos and the rest of the technicolour freaks that are destroying the property values that I painstakingly created. You are a “vk” are you not?

Mal: I’m not uh I uhm I don’t consider myself a vk anymore

Adam: then who? That is who you are right. Cradle to grave and all that rhetoric. Face it Mal. You are not an Auradon girl.

Elsa: oh you are so right beast. My daughter is not an Auradon girl. She’s the soon to be the queen of Auradon and isle AND she’s the princess of Arendelle. So that’s three titles to your zero. Meaning you’d do well to shut up

Adan: to what do I owe this...thing

Elsa: my daughter was hurt. So I’m checking on her. Like you should be doing for Ben. Or has belle finally ridding herself if you rendered you void of the most basic compassion for your son as well as everything else?

Adam: as I was saying. If my reasonable suggestion goes unheeded the people will rise up and there’s (a phone blasts out “backstreets back”) OH WHAT NOW!

Ben: it’s my cell phone. Doug would you be a dear and grav it for me

Doug: sure. But only if you put a top on?

Ben: I’ll think about it

(Doug snickers and answers the phone)

Doug: king Ben’s personal cell phone the major-domo speaking. Yes. Yes. Oh shit. Thank you for informing us (he hangs up) the wand, the spindle, Jafar’s staff and the magic mirror have been stolen from the museum

Bal, Elsa and Evie: what?

Mal: when?

Doug: two hours ago. There’s no security footage. The cameras were busted. Ten guards are dead. Two have had the hearts crushed. The rest were cut to pieces by glads shards

Adam: ok then. It’s decided. Round them up. I’ll get the trucks ready. We can have you and them all back by sundown

Elsa: you realise who you’re sounding like right now?

Adam: the only sane man. As it has been for years. Now Mal my dear. Your choice. Anarchy or order. Where’d she go

(Mal’s teleported away)

Evie: you poked the dragon.

Ben: I’ll go after. See if she’s ok

Elsa: no I will. This is a mother’s job

(She teleports after Mal and finds her in the dining room hyperventilating)

Mal: I can’t do it. I I can’t

(Elsa pulls her into a cool down hug)

Elsa: shhh shhh now. Don’t listen to him.

Mal: but he’s right. I’m going to be the queen. I should be thinking about these things. And ten people are dead. And some nutbag has some of the most powerful magical relics in existence

Elsa: but you still have the book and the sceptre. And the book. And if your hunch is correct. You’re half god. So

Mal: so, what?

Elsa: so...beast cannot lay a hand on you or Ben or anyone you care about. Not without your say so.

Mal: so what you’re saying is I hold all the cards

Elsa: essentially yes

Mal (weak laugh): why doesn’t that make me feel better

Elsa: because your upbringing had left you scarred and unable to make decisions that could impact people you care about

Mal: ... harsh but true

Elsa: listen

(This is when “brave” happens)

Mal: I can be brave. I can tell Adam where to stick it.

Elsa: I’ll supply the barge pole

Mal (cackling): please let me see that when it happens

Elsa: hmmmmm maybe

(Back in bal’s living room)

Evie: you’ve hated us all since the moment we arrived. You couldn’t stand the fact Ben chose my sister over the Hunan balloon animal you picked out.

Adam: sometimes the parent really does know best

Evie: said Gothel. Said Madame Mim. Said Jafar, Cruella, my mother, Yzma, Gaston, Maleficent and every single shitty parent we had to deal with over there. You’ve joined their ranks plain and simple

Adam: I am not one of them. You are. Upsetting the well defined status quo on a whim.

Ben: you were a bastard of a father and now you’re a bastard of a human being. The kingdom has me now. And I shan’t make the same mistakes errors and blatant crimes against humanity that you did

Adam: then you’ll be a disappointment as king.

Evie: oh for once in your life shut up and let others speak

Adam: PRETTY THINGS SHOULD SIT STILL AND REMAIN SILENT!

Evie: oh there’s my mother again. Doug honey did you know that she said that exact same thing to me when I stared talking?

Doug: oh my god I’m so sorry.

Evie: eh don’t be. I’m over it. Well mostly. But the fact that this idiot is saying it says plenty about his perceived moral superiority

Adam: if you can’t listen to reason I can always force you.

Evie: once again. My mother. Maleficent. Gaston. Jafar. Cruella. Mim. Medusa. Yzma. Hearts. Need I go on?

(In Ursula’s grotto Uma’s working on something)

V!Harry: what are you doing. Well. I know what you’re doing. I’m you. I’m just asking for the benefit of those out there

Uma: who?

Harry: nothing. Don’t worry.

Uma: ugh whatever. I’m working on an escape. If she thinks she can stop me she’s sorely mistaken

(This is when “speechless” happens)

(Mal bursts back in to the room)

Mal: alright here’s what’s going to happen. Ben, Evie you guys still wanna continue with the program?

Ben: yes

Evie: absolutely

Mal: then you do that. Because, Adam, we aren’t closing the barrier. You got that?

Adam: I really don’t think

Mal: I don’t care what you think. Nobody here cares what you think. You’re no longer king. Hence superfluous to the narrative. You’re nothing. The chain of command goes Ben, Doug, me, Evie

Evie: uh excuse me?

Doug: sorry hon. She’s right.

Ben: yeah. King, major-domo, queen, chancellor.

Evie: shit

Mal: so you can scream shout moan complain. But we’re not closing off the island. EVER!

Adam: you’ll regret this.

Mal: pretty sure we won’t.

(Adam stalks off)

Mal (immediately deflating): man I need a drink. Amethyst wine anyone?

Evie: do I even wanna know?

Mal: probably not.

Ben: it’s great. Just like the butter bars

(Evie turns green around the gills)

Doug: I’m probably gonna regret this but what’s in it

Mal: white wine. Vodka. A quarter pound of sugar. And it’s all mixed together with juiced violets. Hence the colour

Evie: that sounds disgusting.

Ben: oh it is. But we made it with magic so the potency is through the roof

Doug: meaning?

Ben: meaning it’ll get you blackout

Mal: shitfaced

Bal: blindingly drunk

Evie (forcing back a disgusted look): ahahaha. I’ll pass

Bal: suit yourself

(They commence drinking. In the isle chadeficent is looking on as Ursula goes belly up)

Chadeficent: need some help?

Ursula: my wretch of a daughter blew up my grotto and escaped with that mouth breathing pirate spawn. Of course I need help

(Chadeficent sends eerie magic hands, the exact type that ripped out Ariel’s voice, plucks out Ursula and drops her on the pier)

Ursula: now that that’s all settled. Who the hell are you

Chadeficent (now only using Maleficent’s voice): you tell me sea witch.

Ursula (unsurprised): you’ve literally never looked worse

Chadeficent (in Chad’s voice): hey watch it bitch!

Ursula: excuse me

Chadeficent (still in Chad’s voice): I mean seriously you look like a desaturated smurf.

Ursula (eyes glowing teal): Do you wanna say that again kid?

Chadeficent (in Maleficent’s voice): no he does not

Ursula (smirking): who’s body?

Chadeficent (both voices now): the son of Cinderella

Ursula: oooh a new meal?

Chadeficent: no. A tool (Maleficent’s voice) in more ways then one

Ursula: how’d you get here.

Chadeficent (both voices): the elongated horseless carriage

Ursula: so the limo

Chadeficent: yes.

Ursula (very much unimpressed): mhmm. Why are you back?

Chadeficent: I’m starting a coven. I assume you want in?

Ursula: eh what the hell. Wouldn’t be the first time we teamed up to ruin lives

Chadeficent: remember when we ruined for children’s lives simultaneously?

Ursula (mad): oh you mean that time my daughter was publicly humiliated and gained a dehumanising epithet all because your daughter acted out in anger at something the witches daughter did that left the freckled thing to be tortured by the furrier for a month?

Chadeficent: yes

Ursula (bark laughing): HA. Good times good times. So. What’s the plan

Chadeficent: we are going to break my daughter

Ursula: mind? Body? Soul? Spirit?

Chadeficent: all four

(In Auradon. Adam’s just sat down at the bar of a tavern)

Adam: double scotch on the rocks

Bartender: coming right up sir

Adam: never have kids Moliere

Bartender: my names not Moliere sir

Adam (not even listening): you raise them. You teach them. You impart your wisdom. Your values. And what do they do? Take a giant steaming shit on all you worked on and turn everything completely upside fucking down in the name of goddamn “progress”. Know what I’m saying?

Bartender: ohhhhkay?

(Adam gets off the stool and starts the jukebox. This is when “gold” starts.)

Bartender (very very scared now): sir. Your majesty are you ok?

Adam (pensively): no. No I’m not a majesty. Not anymore. Well. Not yet at least.

(He runs out of the tavern without paying)

Customer: what the hell was that all about?

Bartender: I don’t know. But I have a feeling little benny needs a warning.

#disney descendants #zendaya!mal

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kitten1618x · 8 years ago

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GoT Afterthoughts 7x03 The Queen's Justice (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS

I’m sorry for the delay, but ffs this is LONG! Well ...now we know that this week's episode title was def. referring to Cersei, let's get to it.

We begin this week with foreboding music -Jon and Davos riding the crashing waves onto the shores of Dragonstone -which I still highly prefer the exterior to the interior -though, I suppose it fits the "mood". Little bit of banter between the boys, and after a friendly introduction and a smiling face, Missandei asks for their weapons. A skeptical and non-to-pleased looking Jon obeys, then turns to watch warily while the Dothraki take their rowboat as well. Okay Gendry, you can row up at any time now ...we may need you as the getaway boat.

So they proceed up the long winding staircase (which has more steps than Dany does titles) and not even a full 3 minutes into the episode, Sansa is already brought up in conversation. I'm dead serious - 02:30 minute mark on the dot. I actually only know this, because at this particular moment, I paused the DVR to grab a snack -but I like how in what is supposed to be such a J/D-centric episode (er-meh-gerd they're finally meeting!!!), Sansa takes precedence. Good call D&D ...I see what you did there.

Now about that conversation -is it odd that Tyrion would bring up Sansa in passing conversation with Jon? No, not at all -she is a connection that they both share, but ....

T: Sansa, I hear she's alive and well?

J: She is.

T: Does she miss me terribly? (clearly he's attempting a bit of a joke here).

J: *silence as he stares down at Tyrion like he damn well better explain himself*

T: *looks over his shoulder, to see that Jon is not amused, quickly explains* A sham marriage, never consummated.

J: I didn't ask.

T: Well it was, it wasn't. Anyway, she's much smarter than she lets on.

J: She's starting to let on.

T: Good.

So, what exactly was the point of this conversation? If Tyrion just wanted to know if Sansa was well, and the narrative wanted to establish how clever Sansa is, they could have done that without all that "missing me and marriage sham and unconsummated" banter in between. We as an audience already know all of these things, so how does that little nugget of information help in furthering the narrative? To put it quite simply -it doesn't. Again ..I see you D&D, I see exactly what you did there.

A bit more banter between the boys -Tyrion's ironic statement about Starks not faring well in the South, as to which Jon replies that he's not a Stark (shut up baby, yes you fucking are!) and BOOM! Cue: Drogon swooping down over the crowd, and Jon and Davos hitting the deck like a bunch of dropped wet rocks. You will NEVER convince me that was coincidence. Dany is in full control of her Dragons now, and that was a total (cheap) intimidation tactic.

PS: Jon is wearing leggings! Show me tha booty!

Cut to Varys and Melisandre perched high above on a cliff and watching the welcoming committee march up the guests. Varys prods her on why she won't greet them considering she spoke so highly of Jon Snow. She replies with how she's "brought fire and ice together and she's done her part" -I believe this is a deliberate misdirection from the writers. We already know that Jon is fire and ice on his own -the characters do not, and you know the dark ship is going wild over this line right now, but don't any of you pay it any mind. It's like a magicians trick -slight of hand ..look over there, while we do this over here.

Varys still has a healthy skepticism of this religion and these priestesses -and I'm still 1100000% with him. Melisandre is going back to Volantis (spelled right??) it seems -but will return to die -just like Varys. Ohhhh prophetic. And damn but these red witches get under his skin! Why???? I must know!

Poor Jonny-boy walking into the throne room looks nervous AS HELL, with the Mad Kings daughter perched on that wiggy-ass throne, and half of Dany's face is bathed in shadows, and she's once again cloaked in all black -shadows, darkness = symbolism at its finest folks. Hiding ones face half in shadow is a popular trope to emphasize that someone has a "sinister side" , and wearing all black is also a trope - "evil wears black."

Now, for arguments sake (and because I like to play devils advocate -the Nights Watch also wear all black, and Jon did too -however, Dany's wardrobe went from bright white (innocence and purity) to black upon coming to Westeros.

So as Missandei rambles off all 101 of Dany's titles (like I swear they do this purposely to annoy us at this point), Davos shoots back with "This is Jon Snow and he's King of the North". (See this juxtaposition they just shoved RIGHT IN OUR FACES???). LMAO -by the way, I just fucking adore Davos! He is a damn precious dewdrop, and I will fight you if you say otherwise!

D: You are here to bend the knee?

J: I am not.

Who else screeched with glee here? Huh? Huh?

Bend the knee. Bend the knee. BEND THE KNEE.

I'm not going to rehash this entire exchange, but a few important things that stuck out to me:

Jon's primary focus is "us", "we" -he's concerned about saving people.

Dany's primary focus is "Me, me, me!!"

It is interesting how she asked that the father's sins not be passed onto the daughter -reminiscent of Jon's own words regarding the Karstark and Umber children. I wonder if this is a sort of foreshadowing that by not being more wary of Dany's Targ temper, it just may bite him in the ass later.

Also Dany is a hypocrite. "Don't blame me for my ancestors -blah blah blah, but bend the knee because of my ancestors." Sigh.

I'm insanely curious why Jon didn't want Davos to tell them he'd been resurrected -or why Melisandre left that little tidbit out too???

Jon is now essentially Dany's prisoner.

Dany's narcissism is growing by the day. I can't believe people don't understand what GRRM (D&D) are deliberately doing with her character! This is an actual quote: "Do you know what kept me standing all those years in exile? Faith. Not in any god, not in myths, and legends. In myself. Daenerys Targaryen. The world hadn’t seen a dragon in centuries, until my children were born. The Dothraki hadn’t crossed the sea, any sea. They did for me. I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms. And I will."

Varys delivers the news that Dany's fleet is gone, and then Theon is fished from the sea by his people. And let me slip in here that if you're one of the people bashing Theon for jumping overboard because he so clearly suffers from PTSD -you're a shit, and you need to stop. That's not something that just suddenly disappears ...he will struggle with that for whatever is left of his life. He's gonna rescue Yara ...I just know it.

Now we're in Kings Landing and Euron is parading Yara and the Sand Snakes through the city. Like, I'm so torn, because I hate this dude, but I also kinda love him? His teasing of Jamie is PRICELESS, if not highly inappropriate. It's also pretty clear to me that Cersei has no intent on marrying him. In typical Cersei fashion, she'll keep him at arms length while she uses him, and then dispose of him when he wears out his usefulness -clever girl that she is.

And now we're in the dungeon where the Sand Snakes are chained -after a bit of tormenting them, she takes Tyene the same way they took her daughter -with a kiss of death. As a mother, I truly feel for Cersei here as she talks about Mrycella -for both of these mothers actually. Say what you will about Cersei, but Lena is a fucking GODDESS! She owns this role so well. Like, I can't stand Cersei, and yet, I literally cheer for her sometimes. One thing is for certain -people better stop underestimating her ruthlessness. And my God, the Sand Snakes -magnificent acting with no dialogue!

After a romantic romp with her dear brother (and damn, Jamie has a sweet ass), she boldly allows the servant to see them together -she's queen now, and apparently has no more fucks to give. It's time for the Lannister's to pay their debts, and she's off to meet with a rep. of the Iron Bank. Using the sharp negotiation skills she inherited from Tywin, and the same "foreign invader/mad Kings daughter" approach that she used to sway the Lords, it appears she gets what she wants and the Iron Bank will extend her the credit she needs - "gold wins wars."

We jump back to Dragonstone, where our brooding prisoner/hero is staring forlornly at the sea. He's a Northern fool who didn't listen (to Sansa). Tyrion tries to appeal to Jon's good side, and talks up Dany a bit, while simultaneously trying to help him. He's looking to strike an alliance -"use each other to further your own needs approach", and after a somewhat comical conversation with Dany (thank God because we need a bit of levity surrounding her scenes) -he urges her to let Jon mine the dragon glass. I think Tyrion does truly believe Jon is telling the truth. The knife in the heart comment comes up again -and again, I wonder why Jon didn't want them to know about his resurrection -but clearly, it's important because it was brought up again.

Now Jon approaches Dany who's gazing off towards the sea and watching her Dragons soaring in the distance. Sounds kinda romantic, right? Well not really, as during most of this conversation they stood facing opposite directions, barely making eye contact -save for a few moments. Shipping goggles are fully affixed here, but compare this to the way Jon and Sansa are always staring into each other's eyes (usually in softly lit rooms). Just sayin'.

Jon comments on Dany's Dragons, and she tells them that she named them for her brothers -Viserys and Rhaegar. This made me smile. And what I find so amusing about this, is just a few nights ago, I had a Nonny send me an ask referring to the general audience possibly forgetting that Rhaegar (Jon's daddy dearest) was Dany's brother --well, there you have it, Nonny, the narrative just delivered your reminder. Heh heh heh. ;) I don't think that Dany believes Jon about the WW/NK yet (and really, we can't fault her) but he is getting his dragon glass, and in the meantime, it keeps Jon hanging around -more time to woo him to their side.

And we head North to Winterfell (finally) to see that the Sass QitN is pretty freaking good at this ruling stuff. Like really, did we ever have any doubts? She's preparing for the enemy coming from both sides, because she's clever as hell (and I'm so proud of her!!!). Can't-take-a-hint Lord Creepyfinger is at it again -whispering in her ear with his creepy-creep-ness, and our girl once again, deliciously puts him in his place. Look, this constant talk of Cersei with Sansa, and the fact that she's lived and learned from her -plus this emphasis on how well she's taken up the helm at "ruling" and caring for her people, all while Tyrion, Jon and LF are all saying how smart she is ...I'm really starting to get the feeling that Sansa is THAT queen. Ya know -the one from Cersei's prophecy ...

"You'll be queen, for a time. Then comes another, younger, more beautiful, to cast you down and take all you hold dear."

I usually try not to get tin foilish in my recaps, but this is the Jonsa edition after all, so bear with me. Sansa has literally learned from the master of ruthlessness, and I truly believe all this emphasis on that this season, is setting up the fact that Sansa will be the only one clever enough to see through Cersei's scheming, won't underestimate her, and in fact, be the one to bring her down. Sansa, if not indirectly, could be linked to all of Cersei's children's deaths (all she holds dear):

She was betrothed to Joffrey, who after he cruelly tortured her for a time, discarded her for Margaery. Being the clever old bird that she was, Olenna got Sansa to open up about Joffrey's cruelty, which ultimately led to his death.

Thrusting Sansa into a marriage with Tyrion who then were both accused by Cersei of murdering Joffrey. Sansa escapes due to LF's scheming, leading to Tyrion's trial by combat with Oberyn as his champion. When he is killed by the Mountain, Ellaria exacts revenge on the Lannisters by killing Mrycella.

Due to Joffrey's death, Tommon becomes king, and takes his brothers widow for a wife -the same family responsible for Joffrey's death -who only murdered him because Sansa confirmed his cruelness. Tommon falls hopelessly in love with Margaery, and upon her death, commits suicide.

It's also important to note, that Cersei is technically the one to blame for the deaths of all of her children, although she will never see it that way. While I was studying up on this prophecy, I also stumbled onto this from one of the book wiki sites:

When will I marry the prince?

Cersei is talking about Prince Rhaegar, whom Tywin Lannister intended to offer her to for marriage. Maggy tells Cersei that she will never marry the prince, but will marry the king. This foreshadows King Aerys refusing Tywin’s offer, Robert’s Rebellion, and Cersei eventually marrying Robert Baratheon after he is crowned king.

I just find highly coincidental that Cersei was almost wed to a Targaryen prince (and Jon Snow's father, to boot), and if we're all correct in our assumptions that Jonsa is in fact endgame (it is, by the way) then Sansa will take that from her, too. Which also strangely ties Sansa to -going from in the beginning of the story, wanting the prince who was actually a bastard, to getting the bastard who is actually a prince. Just sayin' ....

Okay, back to the show.

Bran has arrived at Winterfell! I repeat BRAN HAS ARRIVED AT WINTERFELL!! And we are treated to yet another beautiful Stark reunion -minus "the nuzzle" -I repeat MINUS THE NUZZLE!!

They are catching up in the Godswood, and the first thing out of Sansa's mouth (when she's in what she perceives is a safe space, and she's allowed to be vulnerable) is "I wish Jon were here". Ship them or not, there's a reason that they both mentioned each other in this episode -if only to remind us (the general audience) that they are, indeed, on each other's minds.

Bran is quite emotionless, and I guess I get it. He needs to disconnect and emerge himself completely in this whole 3-eyed Raven deal, because the NK is coming, and he doesn't have much time to hone his powers. In light of their reunion, the writers chose to have him bring up the horrors Sansa suffered at the hands of Ramsey Bolton -to prove his power. I've seen some speculate that this was in fact Bran seeing a future Sansa wedding, and this very well may be, as he admitted himself that it all comes to him in bits. Part of me REALLY wants to believe that, but I think this had more to do with choosing something that would shake Sansa enough to know that what he says is true (cuz come on, he does seem a bit eccentric and cray, peeps). Or maybe it's both? Take it for what you will.

Jorah has been successfully cured of his greyscale, and he is off to find his Dragon queen -and just ffs, I ship them so hard !!! They (Jorah/Sam) will meet again -although, I hope it's not on different sides of the battlefield. *cough* Targbowl.

Sam doesn't get rewarded, but you can def. see that the Archmaester IS proud of him. Oh my heart!

And we're back to Dany's war room. Two allies are down, her armada is gone. She wants to take her Dragons and go burn Euron's fleet -oh, I'm so shocked! But, her wise council talks her out of it, and Tyrion narrates the scene of Casterly rock being taken, while quoting his bro, Bron (like -I can't wait for these two to reunite). The siege is successful .....or is it? Well, NO -because Cersei is a BOSS!

Euron has effectively taken out the rest of Dany's ships, and trapped GW and the remaining Unsullied at Casterly Rock (which by the way, is gorgeous, and it's about time we see it) -with limited supplies, and no one to come to their aid, they will likely die.

So where is the rest of the Lannister army? Capturing High Garden, of course (and now Cersei will have their riches, as well). The battle scenes are skipped, and we see Jamie seek out Lady Olenna, who admits to being outsmarted. She warns Jamie that Cersei will be the death of him, and calls Joffrey a cunt (lmao, I love her), before swigging down the poison Jamie offers her. And right before the credits roll, she SAVAGELY admits to Jamie that she was behind Joffrey's murder, and she wants Cersei to know that. Daaaaaammmmmnnn!

And that concludes my Afterthoughts ...see you next week.

Oh, and Jonsa is endgame -spread the word.

#got afterthoughts #got recap #jonsa #jon x sansa #got season 7 spoilers #spoilers

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