#edit 11/24/20 (again again): actually made this change because i forgot to

[puppypaw-wc]

stormy skies - allegiances

BlossomClan

LEADER: Petalstar—pinkish-red tabby she-cat with calico spots on her back.

DEPUTY: Wildtansy—spiky-furred black sam* with blue eyes.

MEDICINE CAT: Tansypetal—tawny she-cat with one aqua eye and one yellow eye.

Apprentice, Laurelpaw

LEAFGAZERS: Chervilfoot—mostly white, cream pseudo classic tabby tom with long fur and yellow eyes.

Heatherfoot—red spotted tabby tom with gold eyes.

Crowcloud—black and red mackerel torbie she-cat with yellow eyes.

Lionleg—blue and cream mackerel caliby she-cat with long fur and blue eyes.

Mistblaze—blue classic tabby tom with long fur and hazel eyes.

WARRIORS: Sootcloud—black and red mackerel tortoiseshell-tabby she-cat with a white chest and toes and amber eyes.

Fennelwhisker—cream ticked tabby-and-white tom with golden eyes.

Roseberry—red ticked pseudo tabby she-cat with copper eyes.

Apprentice, Magpiepaw

Egretwhisker—white tom with a ticked cream pseudo tabby tail and ears.

Apprentice, Fritillarypaw

Breamcloud—blue ticked tabby she-cat with long fur and green eyes.

Plumfoot—black and red spotted tortoiseshell-tabby she-cat with curly fur and yellow eyes.

Nightclaw—black tom, with gold eyes.

Shadowberry—black tom with hazel eyes.

Apprentice, Whinchatpaw

Burnetstream—red mackerel pseudo tabby tom with copper eyes.

Raventhroat—long haired, black mackerel tabby tom, with copper eyes.

Orchidstorm—blue and cream mackerel calico she-cat with green eyes.

Apprentice, Martenpaw

Lionstream—red spotted tabby she-cat with gold eyes.

Crowstream—black tom with hazel eyes.

Thriftberry—red ticked pseudo tabby tom with long fur and yellow eyes.

Beestone—cream mackerel tabby tom with green eyes.

Slugfoot—black tom with hazel eyes.

APPRENTICES: Laurelpaw—white she-cat with a taupe tail and ears and golden eyes. Medicine cat apprentice.

Magpiepaw—lilac-and-cream mackerel torbie she-cat with white gloves and yellow eyes.

Fritillarypaw—red classic pseudo tabby-and-white tom with green eyes.

Whinchatpaw—mostly white, fawn demimolly** (she/her and they/them) with blue eyes.

Martenpaw—chocolate and red mackerel calico she-cat with green eyes.

TyphoonClan

LEADER: Crowstar—black she-cat with hazel eyes.

DEPUTY: Cootstone—black she-cat with long fur and hazel eyes.

MEDICINE CAT: Ravenblaze—black she-cat with hazel eyes.

SKYWATCHERS: Comfreyfang—mostly white red classic-mackerel tabby she-cat with amber eyes.

Apprentice, Plumpaw

Emberwhisker—furless, chocolate and red ticked tortoiseshell she-cat with copper eyes.

Owlleg—chocolate tom with curly fur and green eyes.

Sandfur—cream spotted tabby she-cat with yellow eyes.

Hornetheart—apricot ticked pseudo tabby she-cat with green eyes.

Shinecloud—black tom with green eyes.

Shadowpelt—long haired, black mackerel tabby tom with hazel eyes.

Rowanfoot—chocolate and red ticked tortoiseshell she-cat with amber eyes.

WARRIORS: Sandfang—short haired cream mackerel tabby tom with gold eyes.

Skipperwhisker—red classic pseudo tabby tom with long fur and amber eyes.

Apprentice, Slugpaw

Burnetbriar—red ticked pseudo tabby tom with copper eyes.

Redstorm—long furred, red mackerel tabby tom with gold eyes.

Campionfur—blue and cream classic calico she-cat with hazel eyes.

Apprentice, Starlingpaw

Chervilpelt—white tom with copper eyes.

Apprentice, Sootpaw

Hailstorm—blue she-cat with yellow eyes.

APPRENTICES: Slugpaw—black mackerel tabby tom with gold eyes.

Sootpaw—long furred, black she-cat with hazel eyes.

Starlingpaw—black spotted tabby tom with gold eyes.

Plumpaw—red mackerel pseudo tabby tom with gold eyes. Skywatcher apprentice.

MountainClan

LEADER: Larkstar—chocolate she-cat with yellow eyes.

DEPUTY: Hollystorm—red classic pseudo tabby tom, with short fur, and amber eyes.

MEDICINE CAT: Yellowleaf—cream ticked pseudo tabby she-cat with yellow eyes.

PATHFINDERS: Whimbrelstep—chocolate and red mackerel torbie she-cat with yellow eyes.

Apprentice, Cootpaw

Weaselfoot—fawn and cream mackerel torbie she-cat with amber eyes.

Oakleg—red mackerel pseudo tabby tom with yellow eyes.

Slugcrawl—chocolate classic tabby-and-white tom with green eyes.

WARRIORS: Frostcloud—white she-cat with copper eyes.

Leechblaze—chocolate and red, spotted tortoiseshell-tabby she-cat with long fur and gold eyes.

Apprentice, Swanpaw

Slugcloud—black spotted tabby tom with copper eyes.

Crowfur—black she-cat, with amber eyes.

Apprentice, Chubpaw

Lionstone—apricot classic tabby tom, with green eyes.

Starlingfoot—black spotted tabby she-cat with copper eyes.

Apprentice, Nightpaw

Rooknose—black she-cat with amber eyes.

Apprentice, Ravenpaw

Beenose—black and red spotted calico she-cat with long fur and green eyes.

Rookfang—white she-cat, with a black and red mackerel calico tail and ears and yellow eyes.

Cormorantwhisker—black tom with long fur and gold eyes.

Apprentice, Sycamorepaw

Ravenfur—black mackerel tabby tom with amber eyes.

Apprentice, Nettlepaw

Aspenheart—blue mackerel tabby tom, with short fur, and green eyes.

APPRENTICES: Cootpaw—gray and red spotted torbie she-cat with a white locket, white gloves and green eyes. Pathfinder apprentice.

Swanpaw—black and red mackerel calico she-cat with hazel eyes.

Nightpaw—long furred, black spotted tabby she-cat with gold eyes.

Nettlepaw—blue tom with hazel eyes.

Ravenpaw—black mackerel tabby she-cat with gold eyes.

Chubpaw—chocolate tom with amber eyes.

Sycamorepaw—blue spotted tabby tom with yellow eyes.

QUEENS: Mistletoestone—white she-cat with hazel eyes.

Cuckoofoot—blue she-cat with long fur and hazel eyes.

Slugstream—blue mackerel tabby she-cat with yellow eyes.

ELDERS: Lilyclaw—white she-cat with green eyes.

Spiderfur—black classic tabby she-cat with long fur and yellow eyes.

BambooClan

LEADER: Sandstar—mostly white, blue and cream mackerel calico tabby she-cat, with short fur and gold eyes.

DEPUTY: Heatherflower—cream spotted pseudo tabby demitom*** (he/they), with short fur, and green eyes.

MEDICINE CAT: Egretcloud—white tom with long fur and hazel eyes.

FELLGATHERERS: Heatherblaze—black and red classic tortoiseshell she-cat with copper eyes.

Owlberry—black and red mackerel tortoiseshell she-cat with amber eyes.

Linnetear—chocolate tom with green eyes.

Poppyfur—red spotted tabby she-cat with gold eyes.

Apprentice, Lightpaw

Cypressstream—red spotted pseudo tabby tom with yellow eyes.

Applestream—blue and cream mackerel tortoiseshell she-cat with yellow eyes.

Pipitfang—cinnamon mackerel tabby tom (au/auti and they/them) with green eyes.

WARRIORS: Laburnumface—red mackerel pseudo tabby tom with amber eyes.

Goldenleg—furless, red ticked pseudo tabby she-cat with hazel eyes.

Apprentice, Fennelpaw

Cootstripe—black mackerel tabby tom with copper eyes.

Apprentice, Rookpaw

Crowberry—black sam with copper eyes.

Apprentice, Hornetpaw

APPRENTICES: Fennelpaw—red spotted pseudo tabby demimolly (she/her and they/them) with short fur, and yellow eyes.

Hornetpaw—short haired, red mackerel pseudo tabby sam (bu/buz and she/her) with gold eyes.

Rookpaw—black mackerel tabby she-cat with hazel eyes.

Lightpaw—white she-cat with copper eyes.

QUEENS: Chanterellecloud—mostly white, black and red spotted calico-tabby demimolly (she/her and they/them) with long fur and gold eyes.

Tansyclaw—curly furred, lilac and cream mackerel tortoiseshell she-cat with gold eyes.

ELDERS: Squirrelfang—blue and cream, ticked tortoiseshell-tabby she-cat, with copper eyes.

* non-binary cat

** clan term for a cat who’s a demigirl.

*** clan term for a cat who’s a demiboy.

[alittledizzy]

Hi, Mandy! The podcast with Phil is up! When you have time to listen to it, do you think, you could share some of your thoughts with us? Maybe even do some time stamps with commentary? Like, of course no pressure, but it would be awesome if you decide to express your opinion on the matter ;))) Have a nice day 🌷

My main thought: I love how much more comfortable Phil is talking about his anxiety and things that make/made him anxious now. I’ve never heard him dig in quite so much on how his brain works with insecurities and how intense he can be about editing and how that can cause him to mentally spiral with anxiety. 

Besides that, I don’t think he said much here we didn’t already know, but I sure as heck enjoyed listening to him say it all again. 

Timestamps!

2:30 - Phil would have shown up in pajamas if he’d known it was for a podcast. 2:37 - Interviewer asks Phil when he first realizes he was creative. “I think I just came out of the womb and did jazz hands in the hospital.” 3:00 - His parents gave him a video camera for Christmas when he was eight and he made little friends with his friends. He talks about the horror film he and his friends made when they were ten (that he’s made youtube videos about). He learned to edit then by pausing a video cassette tape and putting the footage in and editing in real time, before he could do it on a computer. He doesn’t know where that creativity came from, but he’s been making videos as long as he’s been able to make videos. 3:51 - He used to watch movies hundreds of times. He wore out the Gremlins VHS tape. He wanted to make things like that, or his own version of that entertainment. 4:05 - Gizmo the Gremlin was his mentor. No, he didn’t have a mentor, but he’s thankful to his parents for letting him do it. If he’d done his homework they’d just say, “Go for it. I’ll get you a video camera if you want to make videos.” He acknowledges that not everyone had that means of doing it, though now everyone has a phone and anyone can do it if they wanted to with a phone recording. 4:40 - When he was young his family was mostly his audience, though they let him play the horror film he made when he was ten at school. “I think having that audience reaction, I was like oh people are actually laughing and enjoying it.” 5:20 - He started youtube because he was impressed by the fact that anyone, anywhere can make something and have the chance to broadcast yourself. He saw people like Smosh and LonelyGirl15. He liked watching people’s lives all over the world. 6:01 - He got two comments on his first video and couldn’t believe it. One from Australia and one ‘somewhere else’ saw it and cared. 6:39 - He had imposter syndrome at the first Vidcon he went to. He went into a party and thought he shouldn’t be in the same room as people like Smosh. It was a learning experience. 6:58 - He found it crazy that a hundred people would come to a panel or meet and greet to see him and it made him feel like this was real, it was really happening. 7:32 - The interviewer asks him how he’s maintained trust with the audience and his answer is, “You’d have to ask the audience, they’re the ones that are still watching. 7:40 - He thinks being himself in his videos has help, he hasn’t had the need to reinvent himself or become somebody else. He feels like his audience are more friends than fans. 8:26 - "You have your long term collaborator, Dan Howell-” “Yes.” 8:27 - He finds it refreshing to collaborate, especially in comedy videos. He thinks he works well in an improvisation style environment, like on the gaming channel. It helps to have someone to laugh and have comedy banter with. It also helps to have someone else with creative ideas so you aren’t in your own head all the time. 9:20 - The interviewer asks about the transition from youtube to the stage shows. It was a big leap - they had ten crew members and it was a learning curve. He’s quite a shy person so going on stage in front of 2000 people was far out of his comfort zone compared to making videos alone. “It was kind of… fighting off my anxiety and thinking, I can do this, these people are here to see me for a reason.” 10:33 - They interviewed potential crew members (about a five minute interview) and they needed to be other creative people and understand the internet. They needed people who understood what they were making, and also wanted people that had a sense of humor and knew how to have a laugh. 11:30 - Specifically talking about TATINOF: they were trying to turn everything people loved about their youtube videos into a stage show, with a narrative flowing through the whole thing. They wanted it to be bigger than anything anyone had seen from youtubers before. 12:12 - You will not be seeing Phil on Strictly any time soon. 12:45 - TATINOF was about 70% scripted but it got changed up based on what the audience were like or what the reactions were. American found different jokes funny than Sweden and they learned to change and mold it. 13:09 - During TATINOF learned he can actually do scripted stuff, because there were scripted sections. He used to say he can’t act but he thinks he did okay with the scripted stuff in TATINOF. 13:52 - Section about the Radio 1 show. It started with him and Dan collaborating as youtubers with Radio 1, and the BBC decided to give them a show. He specifically says that Youtube say how many good comments and views youtube videos get, and that’s how the show came about. It started freelance and then they got the main show. 14:40 - With the radio show, because it’s live you really have to be aware of what you’re saying. There’s an art to working the desk with the music in the background and when to dip it down. They were learning on the go and it was terrifying. For the first three months he’d wake up in the middle of the night with night sweats and have nightmares about saying something wrong. He had panic dreams about the radio, but they got into a flow and he thinks it was an entertaining and innovative radio show. He always likes something that pushes the boundaries of the technology. 15:25 - He shades how 'old school’ the radio is because they had to play music videos off of dvds. If a dvd skipped or broke then the show would just go off air and they’d have to improvise. It was good preparation for doing stuff on stage. 15:55 - He talks about the stage show in America that lost power and improvising it in an unplugged way. He was relieved when people were happy with it. 16:38 - He thinks there are things traditional media could take from digital media: free flowing, less restrictions. On the radio ideas had to go through about ten processes. “By the time you’ve gone through these ten steps of checking, the fun of the creativity is gone about. It’s not about breaking the rules, it’s about trying to be more improvisational and spontaneous when you can. Not everything needs signing off by five people before you tell a joke.” 27:49 - He likes that youtube is more fresh and reactive to pop culture. It feels fresher than television - cites people doing the floss dance on Netflix shows now. It was funny a year ago, and it was written a year ago, but it’s not as funny now. 18:35 - The positive to traditional media is more people bringing experienced voices to the table helping you develop something. Youtubers know a few things instinctively but someone that’s been a scriptwriter for ten years can completely blow your mind. 19:25 - He would like to think the main thing his audience values is authenticity, but he actually thinks it is accessibility that they value more. He’s not like a movie or pop star. 20:14 - He’s fourteen years in and still tries to think of videos that would make him laugh or he wants to watch, but he’s trying to branch out some this year. “Trying new things.” He doesn’t think there’s any shame in seeing someone else’s video and thinking of doing his own take on that. 21:20 - He looks to Safiya Nygard for inspiration - he likes that there’s so much research and planning in her videos. Even if it’s a silly video she has all the facts and goes to all the videos. He got to meet her the last Vidcon and it was nice to hang out with her. 21:56 - He’s inspired by traditional media, too. For a long time it was Scot Pilgrim vs. the World, he used to think if he was going to make a video that was it. He starts talking about editing here and goes in pretty hard on what editing means to him over the next few minutes. 22:50 - He’s good at suspending his disbelief. It’s a good sign if you’re lost in a world. When he saw 1917, he forgot he was in the cinema. 23:13 - “It’s more when I’m watching my own videos, I can’t - I find it really hard to watch it as a viewer. I find I’m so critical of myself and I just see the edits and I’m just like, oh that could be different, that could be different. And even if after I’ve uploaded it I’ll get a text from my friend and they’re like 'oh that was so funny’ but in my head I’m like oh but I could have cut two seconds off that bit. So I think I should learn, and other people should learn, not to be so critical of yourself. Because there can be a point where - I made a video in December and I was looking back at the footage and I was like, I can’t upload this, this isn’t  - this isn’t good enough. But then I just persevered with the editing and it turned out to be really funny. But that self doubt was creeping in like, people aren’t gonna watch this, people aren’t gonna like this. So I need to work on that a bit and think - if people are enjoying my videos I should be able to enjoy them as well.”24:11 - It’s hard not to be numbers obsessed because youtube tells you as soon as you sign in what’s performing well and not. You don’t want to get that feeling when you first log in to your channel, and you can’t really avoid it. “You’ve got to see it as a learning thing rather than an everybody hates me thing.” 25:42 - Once a video is out in the world, he lets it go. He doesn’t obsess over it. He’s more critical in the editing process and actually pressing go rather than after the fact. 26:08 - He’s particularly proud of his coming out video because of the unexpected reaction. The video production wasn’t incredible but he’s proud of the message. 26:40 - They ask him how he’d have felt in 2006 knowing where he’s at now. “No. I’d probably run away.” 26:47 - “I was so shy and anxious, I couldn’t even like… phone for a hairdressers appointment. I was that nervous about public interaction and talking and stuff like that. So the fact that I’ve got to this level now where I can go on stage or talk on a panel it’s just like - it’s kind of mindblowing looking back at where I was. I’m proud of myself for that.” 27:15 - He’s ready to sink his teeth into a big new project, to do something new that’s very Phil and his own thing. He’s obsessed with interactivity. He was making interactive videos ten years ago with youtube annotations and he thinks now broadcasters and traditional media is more accepting of that technology and narrative structure. 28:15 - He pitched one interactive thing that didn’t work out. He shouts out Complex and also Markiplier’s interactive youtube original. 29:02 - It’s good to get feedback on an idea that’s rejected. It would be weird if everyone said yes all the time. He goes a bit in depth here on potential reasons why a project may be rejected and not taking it as an attack or a big negative thing. 30:33 - If he made a film he’d write it, not be the star of it. He’s excited to see where that creative process goes. He’s written a few short stories and tried a long form script. He’s a control freak so he won’t release it until it’s perfect. 31:03 - He sees Youtube as his work, and scripting and pitches as a hobby. He’s not under a deadline with writing and can enjoy free flowing creativity, unlike youtube where he needs to make a video every week. 32:00 - Discussion about the illustrator they had for TABINOF, who worked on The Mighty Boosh.33:00 - When ask him for one thing he’s inspired by at the moment, he says Bandersnatch and talks about it a bit. He still has Scott Pilgrim and Gremlins in his heart, though. “Gizmo’s the one.”

[birbofathena]

twitter has a character limit, which is why we’re here

hi there. it's been a lil while, huh.

scrolling through my twitter, i found this (seen below) and i'm in the mood for rambling on and on so woo here we go.

Have you ever

1. skipped class

never with the intent of skipping class. i've missed quite a lot of class in my time, but my brain gets awful sick in the winter, which really inhibits my ability to do "normal human" things. i see a therapist every two weeks.

2. done drugs

nah. addiction plagues my paternal family line, and we're seeing glimpses of it in my brother as well. will i try drugs? maybe weed. anything that can be a one-and-done thing, just to try it. never nicotine. never alcohol.

3. self harmed

nope. i have an irrational fear of the consequences that might come of that specifically, and frankly i'm better off for it. heaven knows i've spent enough time thinking about that for one lifetime.

4. drank

see question two. it's funny that a differentiation between alcohol and everything else exists, imo.

5. shoplifted

i don't think so. i'm really starting to wonder about the demographic that this question set was originally made for.

6. gotten a tattoo

nope! maybe one day. probably a nice little flower, with an inkling of color peeking at the edges of its petals. probably on my back somewhere, so that i'm always a bit surprised when someone points it out. "oh yeah, i have that. cool, huh?"

7. broken up with someone

once. even then, we weren't official. my reasoning was that i wasn't ready, though frankly i think we both weren't. i didn't even know what i wanted. perhaps what i do want is something that maybe not a lot of high-schoolers want - something pragmatic, honest, somewhat more private. or that could be what most people do want. i really don't get out that much.

What's your favorite

8. show

my gut response is over the garden wall. i love, love, love fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood too, though i'm waiting until i have the chance to watch it with a friend of mine to finish it. it's sooooooo intense. don't spoil me, please!

9. movie

i'm not a real movie type of person, so i always default to the movies that i grew up watching whenever this question is asked - the incredibles, the lion king, monsters inc. ...

10. song

you might as well ask, "who's you're favorite child?" there are simply too many. here, if you want to feel out my taste for music, this is my main playlist. feel free to follow that (and me) for more! i get a kick out of having followers on spotify, for some reason. (sidenote: i created a whole new account so that i could change the username, so that account really needs some love again. curse the constant state of toil for consistency i'm in. everywhere the world must know me as birbofathena.)

11. artist

i read a lot of webcomics, so while i can't speak of any historic artists, i do think you should definitely check out ari (and his comic here), owen (and the comic she writes and colors for here), toby (and his comic here), and vi (and her comic here).

12. singer / band

this is an easier question, because i can just take a look at whom i listen to the most. now, i listen to a lot of ambient music, so right off the bat, i can recommend moby, ulrich schnauss, balmorhea, and chihei hatakeyama. speaking about the more "mainstream" artists, i like marina, mgmt, elton john, the 1975, patti page, and tessa violet.

13. memory

lately i've been thinking a lot about how i, as a kid, spent my time laid on the cement by the yard of my first house, watching the bees work on the clover. from one small flower to the next. watching them dig through the petals in search of nectar. it may not be my favorite, but it's what comes to mind.

14. book

i'm reading the poisonwood bible right now, which has been so fantastic. seriously, read it if you haven't yet. aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe is another excellent book.

This or that

15. invisibility or the ability to fly

invisibility, because violet is my favorite character from the incredibles. she's so cool. also worth noting: you start flying everywhere, and soon enough you'll find that you've become a living carnival ride.

16. cookies or cake

when done right, cake every time. cookies produce more consistent results though - as far as pleasing me goes - so long as there's chocolate somewhere within. ~~cookies without chocolate are an atrocity.~~ EDIT (10TH MAY '19) - jamie, u ignorant slut. i completely forgot about sugar cookies, in their entirety. forgive me. cookies can live their lives as they please. i know nothing.

17. twitter or facebook

twitter. hell, anything that isn't facebook. facebook's the place that moms go to to eat each other alive. having a facebook account is plain unhealthy.

18. movies or books

depends, really. there're awful movies who have awesome book counterparts, and vice versa. and to be fair, each medium offers things that the other one can't. if you were to ask me though, i'd say books. the feeling that you get when you reach the end of a book is like no other.

19. coke or sprite

this is a lame question, and everyone knows it. the real question on everyone's mind is: coke or pepsi? and i am a pepsi drinker. though the flavored cokes that've been coming out lately are pretty tasty as well. f me up with that strawberry guava, yes please.

20. blind or deaf

anxiety or depresson? brain cancer or pancreatic cancer? alzheimer's or parkinson's? need i say more?

21. tea or coffee

i haven't actually ever tried coffee, though i've been told that i'd like it (due to my liking dark chocolate so much)! i don't really like most teas though; i'll only drink this one herbal tea called bengal spice which is a pseudo-chai tea.

What's your

22. age

i'm 18. i was born 18th february, 2001, at 18:18. whew.

23. sign

pisces sun, capricorn moon, virgo rising

24. height

5′8″ or 173 cm

25. sexual orientation

gay

26. shoe size

9.5 in US mens

27. religion

i don't associate myself with any one religion. i think it's one of those things that's good for some and terrible for others. just do what makes you happy.

28. longest relationship

tbd. the non-relationship described in question 7 went for nearly three weeks.

Opinion on

29. gay rights

i always hear that a lot of homophobic people are lgbt themselves, which is strange to me. though i suppose it's in my nature to be unforgivably confrontational when it comes to inner turmoil, so i'll never really be able to understand homophobic lgbt folk. it goes without saying, then: i support "gay rights," if that's even a differentiation we want to make. i also support "women's rights," "homeowners' rights," and "dogs' rights."

30. second chances

i think for the most part i can empathize with those whom have struggles and missteps i haven't personally experienced. i am a very feeling person. there is an exception to this, but only when one's done something so blatantly wrong - decisions driven by greed or malice.

31. long-distance relationships

tough and complicated. having a relationship through messaging allows both parties to understand how the other thinks - their opinions, their emotions. essentially how their brain functions, because there are few things more idiosyncratic than language, and writing allows one to take full advantage of that. however, having a relationship in-person grants this knowledge, and so much more. (no one said that in-person relationships can't include any messaging, anyway.) we don't speak with just our tongue. what about the silent conversations? what about physical compatibility? like i say, it's tricky, but i think it's more-or-less doable.

32. abortion

i'm pretty pro-choice. if one'd like to offer up their child for adoption, that'd be cool, but no one should feel obligated to do so. whatever you're comfortable with is what i'll support you doing.

33. the death penalty

absolutely not, not ever. it costs more to pull that trigger than it is to sentence someone to life in prison. they must be absolutely sure that they have the guilty before killing them, which takes a long time to decide, and attorneys' time is expensive. and if a mistake is made and an innocent person is killed, boy, do you have one hell of a lawsuit on your hands. not only that, but it is so hypocritical of us to be killing someone... for killing someone. the whole thing doesn't make sense, and i'll tell you why it's still around: people want to kill, kill, kill anything that is bad, bad, bad. dog bites your child? kill that monster. say goodbye to the family pet. people feel so strongly that they've triumphed over evil when they see this drastic result - a carcass underneath their feet. to hell with that.

34. marijuana

i keep saying this: do what you want. marijuana doesn't hurt anything. humans have been doing it ever since we discovered fire. it's absurd that we regulate it now.

35. love

love. it's different for everyone, but for me, it's an enhancement of life. not something necessary, but something that's nice to have. to have someone to bounce ideas off of 24/7. to have someone to turn to in a crisis. to have someone who mourns with you after a loss. indeed, one can face these alone with relative ease, but it's just easier to have someone by your side along the way.

Do you

36. believe in ghosts

yes. old houses might just as well have a mouth, they have so much to say. brand-spanking-new houses are barren, lifeless. i know you know this feeling. ghosts aren't necessarily the malicious, turbulent spirits everyone wants you to believe. they're the vestiges of life, left behind by anyone who's ever felt strong enough to leave them.

37. shower facing the shower head or away from it

away from it, always. who faces the shower head? do they shower with their eyes closed the whole time? just... what?

38. sleep with the door open or closed

i sleep with it closed, though i need to start leaving it open more. it's been getting awfully stuffy.

39. love someone

no. it's not something i'm currently looking for, though my therapist did ask in my last session... i don't know. will it be something i will ever truly look for? i hate the idea of online dating, though that's just my first impression. i just don't know.

40. still watch cartoons

of course. i watch plenty of anime, but if that doesn't count as "cartoons," i also watch and rewatch steven universe, over the garden wall (as mentioned above), and gravity falls.

41. have a boyfriend / girlfriend

nope.

42. like yourself

hell yeah.

[celticheartedfangirl]

25 Fucking Stupid Writing Choices OUAT Made

This post is a snarky response to Adam and Eddy’s little humble brag article that came out today:

http://ew.com/tv/2018/05/14/once-upon-time-crazy-storylines/

This is meant to be snarky and critical and if you don’t like that -- don’t read it.  (MY post, not the link above.)  

Look, I am a OUAT fan an there are many things I love about the show.  But there are many I just DON’T LOVE and I think they’re worth discussing.  If you don’t like criticism, you won’t like this post.  That’s fine.  

Thank you for all the suggestions!  I think I got quite a bit crammed in here.  

Under the cut for length and so as not to upset those who only want to ‘think lovely thoughts’ . . . . . 

25. Here’s a magic doohickey thingy we’ve never heard of before but NOW we’re using this thing.

Look, I’m not gonna list all the MacGuffins this show has used, I’d be here all day and there are worse things they’ve done, and this IS a show about magic after all.  

But there’s also such a thing as overkill.  And there was too much MacGuffin use that we didn’t know about before in this show. It was far too convenient and usually used as a cop out in lieu of – you know – actual STORY TELLING. THAT is my MacGuffin issue.  Don’t use it to replace character development.  We’re not here for that.  

24.  The Lost Boys/The Untold Stories and Other Dropped Plots

So the Lost Boys -- Did they get homes? Did they grow up?  I don’t know!  Do you?  Of course not – we’ll never know!

What about all those Untold Stories folks?  Weren’t there a bunch of them?  Are they still meandering around in Storybrooke?

Edited to add:  Maleficent and Lily.  SO SORRY I forgot to initially include you in this one.  My bad.  You are missed, ladies!  

Edited once more to add:  Poor Gideon.  Both parents dead and his extended family doesn’t give a shit about him.  Or at least I assume so because we don’t know where he is.  The child of Beauty and the Beast -- treated like a disposable plot device.  Nice.

OUAT is great with creating and LOUSY with follow through.  I know there are many others.  But there shouldn’t be.  There shouldn’t be that many dropped plots on this show.  If you’re not going to follow through with a story line, why add the characters AT ALL?  Speaking of that . . .

23.  JFC, how many new characters do we NEED on this show???

Especially since you still haven’t figured out what to do with some of the ones that are CONTRACT PLAYERS on your show!  Hey, didn’t Archie and Ruby used to be those?  (Waves hi to Belle!  Also the Charmings post S4.  More on that later.)

22.  You know – Rumple is Henry’s GRANDFATHER

He is!  Really!  

You’d never fucking KNOW IT, would you?  The erasure of any sort of familial relationship with Henry/Rumple was a damned shame.  And much of that, I believe, was because if they acknowledged THAT, they’d have to mention the character they want us to forget.  More on that later.

21.  The Shattered Sight Hype

Remember what a BIG DEAL the whole Shattered Sight thing was gonna be in S4?  OMG people say what they REALLY FEEL about each other!  It’s gonna be EPIC!!!

And then it – wasn’t. We basically got some Snowing/Evil Queen snark, Henry bitching at Hook, and Belle – well, Belle was asleep – what else is new?  

I think of all the things that were PROMOTED as something amazing for this show – this is the one that was a big old dud and a whole lot of NOTHING.

20.  Belle’s mom/Belle is written out of her own storyline in S6

In Family Business we met Belle’s Mom for about two minutes.  Then she was dead.  And Belle didn’t remember what happened.  And then – we never heard about it again.

I don’t know about you, but I wanted to know what happened there.  Why didn’t Belle remember?  Did Moe get a roofie magic thingy from Arthur?  Did Belle’s mom turn into an ogre and she killed her and blocked it out?

SO MANY possibilities there. But hey – it’s just Belle.  Why write a story for HER?  

In the same regard -- whatever your thoughts are on Rumbelle in S6 (MHO – it was garbage and an OOC shit fest, but that’s just me) – what happened with Gideon – Belle’s SON – was because of HER CHOICE.  Choices have consequences.  And in GOOD WRITING – the person that MADE the choice that caused the mess is supposed to be the person to help CLEAN IT UP.

But apparently – it was a better thing for ZELENA of all people to be the one to do that.  And Emma and Hook too.  Because why the hell not, right?  That makes all the sense.  

Yes, Rumple played his part too in the whole Gideon mess.  And he did get to take part in the resolution.  But that was something they should have done TOGETHER (what a concept!), and overall Belle was just – not part of it.  Even in the last two minutes they sidelined her with a sprained ankle.  Absolutely ridiculous.    Which leads me to . . . .

19.  Belle being sidelined since Season Two.

OUAT brought the lovely Emilie de Ravin onto the show as a regular cast member in Season Two, and had no fucking idea what to do with her character.  So she gets fridged.  She gets stuck in the hospital, left behind while the rest go to Neverland, she’s very fond of naps, she’s forgotten about in Camelot, not cared about while in a sleeping curse because the “heroes” care more about “stopping” her “evil” hubby (see #17) and written out of her own damn storyline in 6B (see #20) – and then she’s dead. (More on that later.)

I love Belle.  I love Rumbelle.  And I will forever be resentful that for the bulk of her time on the show, the character of Belle, one of my fictional heroes, was written as nothing but a plot device.  She deserved so much better.  

18.  The Musical Episode

I mean – if this nonsense (and it WAS nonsense) had moved the story forward, I could maybe – MAYBE – let this one slide.  But it didn’t.  It just rehashed the same shit that we had been talking about for 6 seasons.  And then Hook married Emma and her Stepford Wife conversion therapy was complete.  (More on that later.)  This episode WILL NOT HOLD UP in the future.  Future generations will be “WTF-ing” all over the place with this one, mark my words.  

17.  Rumple is a Hero – no he’s a Villain – No wait he’s a hero, nope a villain, make up your DAMN MIND WRITERS!!!!!

I got whiplash trying to follow the trajectory of Rumple’s story, as many times as they changed his characterization.  He’s a villain – then in 3A he’s a hero.  Then he’s the victim of a molester and kidnapper and show doesn’t address that AT ALL. Oops he’s evil again.  Except now he’s not – his heart is PURE!  He pulled Excalibur out of the rock, he’s a HERO! Nah – he’s dark again.  Bad Rumple!  Oooh now he’s REALLY DARK and his fetus with no brain stem hates him and his wife is living on a boat with his sworn ENEMY while pregnant, so he traps here there (!!!!!) and he’s macking on the Evil Queen . . . come ON.  Enough already.

Rumple is a complex character.  You can’t just flip/flop willy nilly with a complex character.  You have to know how to write them as nuanced, and CONSISTENLY complex but never falling fully into one camp or the other of ‘good’ or ‘evil.’

Rumple is played by Robert Carlyle, one of the best actors around.  And the ONLY saving grace from the horrible writing of this character over the years is the fact that Bobby knew how to play him most of the time – even when the writers didn’t know how to WRITE HIM.  Which was almost ALL the time.  

16.  Hook is a Dark One/Resurrecting Dead Hook/Hook the Gary Stu

I toyed with ranking the dark one higher on the list and as its own thing because really, this reveal caused the biggest MID EPISODE ratings drop in the history of the show up to that point.  Nobody liked it.  Nobody wanted it. And it ended up being a setup to the ‘Save Hook’ trajectory because of COURSE of all the characters in the history of the show, HE was the one that deserved saving THE MOST.  But I think all of these things tie together.  

What this moment did was solidify the fact that Hook was officially a “Stu” character.  He definitely had Gary Stu tendencies up to this point, and was basically an irritant to anyone but CS/Hook fans, but from here on?  That’s pretty much all he was and all he’d ever be until he was replaced (or should I say upgraded?) by his doppelganger.  

I combined the DO/Save Hook/Stu thing because it was in the Underworld that Hook’s full Stu-pification took place.  There wasn’t a line of people he had murdered wanting a word with him – as there SHOULD HAVE BEEN.  

And Hook still got to keep all his murder trinkets when he got resurrected and made out with his girlfriend over Robin’s grave.  What a guy.

15.  Regina/The Evil Queen Stay Split

I’m just saying – wouldn’t it have been better character growth for Regina to have to live with her ‘evil’ half than to split it off?  And no, the ‘heart mixing’ thing doesn’t count.  I get that the whole thing was really fan service to the Outlaw Queen fandom.  But that doesn’t make it good writing.  

14.  The Wish Realm

Oh, I could write a whole post about this (and I may do that at some point) but there are so many damn holes in the whole Wish Realm mess I wouldn’t even know where to start.  But so many things about it just DO NOT line up in a sensible way.  And even if you find one that DOES, it’ll create three things that DON’T line up.  

I’d have bought a ‘parallel universe’ over the ‘wish realm’ stuff.  They could have gone with that and it would have made much more sense. But you know – they wanted dead Belle, dead Baelfire, dead Snowing, no Emma and old Hook so – Wish realm it was. I just got to a point where I didn’t care anymore.  But that doesn’t negate the stupid.  

13.  The Timeline

The timeline in OUAT made sense – and then it didn’t.  And then they just stopped trying.  And I stopped caring.  But for paid, professional writers – just not cool.  DO YOUR JOB!!!!!

12.  Will Scarlett

Do I really need to say any more here?  No? Didn’t think so.  Moving on.  

11.  Neal’s Apartment in New York City

Have you ever been to NYC? Places of residence are at a premium there.  There is no way in hell that an abandoned apartment wouldn’t have been emptied and taken over by a new resident in that much time.  And I’m sorry, but odds are Neal did NOT pre-pay his rent for TWO YEARS out.  

10.  Belle and Hook – Best Friends Forever!*

You know – no woman with a brain in her head would befriend a man who straight up tried to murder her FOUR TIMES.  So, either Belle doesn’t have a brain in her head, or that’s some crap writing right there. (My vote is with the latter if you’re wondering.)

It was bad enough when Belle was just handing over the dagger to “Hook” in S4 (yes, I know it was Rumple but details shmetails, Belle didn’t know that), but a PREGNANT BELLE going to live on a boat with Hook to be ‘safe’ – come on. Who does that?  I get that Adam and Eddy wanted to wave the middle finger at the Rumbelle fandom, but they could have found a way to do that without making Belle look STUPID.  

*Honorable mention to Belle/Zelena being friends which was equally as stupid

9.  Zelena is Marian

Come ON – they pulled that one out of their asses halfway through S4 because they wanted to find a way to bring back Bex.  There was NO INDICATION of that until the reveal.  Because it didn’t EXIST until the reveal.  Ridiculous.  

8.  Making the Charmings Supporting Players

Starting with S4, Snow and David basically became secondary characters.  They had MOMENTS, but overall they were on the backburner and if they left the show at any point – would it have made a difference to ANY of the trajectory they were playing out?  I’d say no.  

I mean – how the hell did that happen?  How do you run out of ideas with the couple that you touted as THE ‘main couple’ after only three seasons?  I don’t get it.  

7.  Golden Queen

Just no.  There was never anything romantic between these two characters.  It was stupid and out of character for both of them.  No.  

6.  Queer baiting 101

If you gender-swapped either Emma or Regina – made one of them a man – they’d be banging by S2 and by the end of the series they’d be married with at least two more kids and three break-ups/reunions between them.  (Hey, I watch soaps, I know how this shit works.)

The chemistry between the actors is there.  They share a kid.  But they’re both women.  And you know – family show -- #nohomo and all.   Sure.  

The writers KNEW that Swan Queen was popular.  Now okay – if ABC didn’t want to go there, fine.  I don’t agree with that, but fine.

But don’t keep freaking queer baiting your fans every chance you get!  It never stopped.  In fact, it got progressively WORSE as the show went on!  That’s just bullshit right there.  Either do it or drop it.  Because what OUAT did with Emma and Regina and the baiting of their fans was just flat out shitty.  

And if that weren’t bad enough, we got the whole queer baiting with Mulan/Aurora, and THEN in S5 we’re handed Dorothy/Ruby as a token olive branch to the LGBT community and then – we never see them again!  

Okay, in S7 they got on the right track with Alice and Robin.  I will give them that.  But after six years of baiting, it kind of rang hollow for many, and rightly so.

5.  Hey, Here’s a Person of Color – Let’s Kill Them!

One of the first warnings I give to any new OUAT is ‘don’t get attached to any POC’ and with good reason. They don’t last long on OUAT.

Now I don’t want to assume or accuse any of the OUAT writers of flat out racism but . . .. . you’ve gotta admit – they don’t have the best track record there.  

It’s especially obvious when they bring on a character that is compelling and portrayed by a charismatic actor that the audience enjoys.  Lancelot, Merlin, and Facilier are the three best examples of that. Okay, so Lance was resurrected but – where’d he go?  Is he still trying to undo dead-Arthur’s roofie on Guinevere?  

And then we have an amazing hero and a compelling villain in Merlin and Facilier, respectively.  Both of these characters – and their actors – were bright spots in the show.  So naturally – they needed to die.  Without their storylines resolved.  

But it was just a coincidence that they weren’t white.  Of course it was.  

4.  The Death of Belle

Yeah, yeah, I know, Beauty was a beautifully written episode and Bobby and Emilie loved it and we got some great moments, blah blah blah . . . . . . but was it NECESSARY?  Did they REALLY NEED to kill off Belle?  You’re telling me that there’s absolutely, positively, not one plausible scenario for S7 wherein Belle is in Hyperion Heights and Rumple can find a way to rid himself of the darkness WITH HER THERE???? Really?  They couldn’t write even one lousy full season of Rumbelle (hello BEAUTY AND THE BEAST) happy and in love with struggles but still beating the darkness in the end?  Really??? There weren’t any options for that scenario AT ALL????  Give me a break.  

3.  The Stepford Swan

Over the course of seven years, many of the OUAT characters suffered with out- of-character moments. It’s not uncommon and I would even venture to say that this happens on occasion on MOST television shows.  But on OUAT, it was a common occurrence from Season Four onward.  And NONE of the characters experienced as much of an out of character de-evolution as Emma Swan.

When we first met Emma Swan she was a badass, intelligent, independent woman.  Yes, she had her issues and her inner demons and we saw her work past those as the series progressed.  

And then . . . . she got a boyfriend.  And he became the center of her universe.  And Emma – changed.  The writers (and Jennifer Morrison) will swear up and down that it was an ‘evolution’ but I’m sorry – a character that starts OUT like this:

Does not END UP like this:

That’s not evolution. That’s a shell of a woman dependent on a man for her self-worth.  That’s NOT who Emma Swan is.  This was THE worst character assassination on the show, and I’d say it’d be up (down?) there in the top 10 (er, bottom 10?) of worst character assassinations in all of television. What a shame.  

2.  Rapists – rapists everywhere!

Once Upon a Time has always been marketed as a family show.  For a family show – there’s sure a heck of a lot of rape in it.  

The first CANON rapist we have is Regina and her 28+ year imprisonment and repeated sexual assault of Graham.  Regina came a long way as a character in the show’s 7-year run – but it would have done great service to her if this had been addressed somehow.  Now, I know that Jamie Dornan is all famous and off making money playing Christian Grey but – you know, in this particular case – I’d have been good with either a recast or at the VERY least an apologetic mention.  But we never got that.

And that’s the problem with every rapey issue on this show – it’s never addressed for what it is. In fact – it’s really not addressed at all.  Hook’s rape jokes in S2 are treated like ‘playful banter’ by the writers, cast, and viewers alike.  Zelena’s ‘Hester the Molester’ stuff with Rumple in S3 doesn’t even warrant a discussion. Hook’s rapey innuendo in the CS movie is also waved off.  Then we have Zelena raping Robin in S4, Arthur magic roofie-ing Guinevere and probably raping her in S5 (Is she still roofied?  Who knows!), and Mother Gothel raping Nook in S7.

That’s a hell of a lot of rape for a “family show.”  And aside from the off-handed comment from Robin about lack of consent with Zelena, none of it is addressed for what it is – RAPE.  

1.  The Death of Baelfire/Neal Cassidy

In Season One there were three main story line arcs driving the series:  Regina’s war with Snow White, Emma as The Savior, and Rumpelstiltskin’s quest to reunite with his son, Baelfire.  All three stories intertwined, and it only made sense that the trajectory of the show would be that in the end, all of these characters would somehow come together, as they all were tied to one character:  Henry.

Unfortunately, the writers made the foolish decision in Season Three to execute one of the main (if not THE main) driving forces on the show.  Baelfire/Neal was connected to all of the aforementioned people, and his loss was a blow to everyone.  At least it should have been. But that’s not what we saw.

Not only was Neal/Baelfire killed off – he was flat out ERASED from the show.  His name from the point of his death on was rarely brought up. We didn’t get to see anyone truly mourn or grieve him.  (Okay Rumple, but BARELY – and anyone who has lost a child understands that it’s quite possibly the deepest type of grief imaginable.  I’m told you never get over it.)  As the show moved forward, you could literally spot the times when the writers made deliberate dialogue choices to avoid saying the name Neal/Baelfire in places where it not only made sense, it was WARRANTED.  

Let’s be REAL here – we all know the “reason” Bae/Neal was written off the show.  I don’t care what the writers say.  I’m not an idiot and neither are you.  And I’m sorry, but if the ONLY WAY you can think of to make a “romance” happen on a show is to kill off a character that would be forever “in the way” of said romance – you’re not a skilled enough writer to be writing a television show for a major network.  I mean – it works in spiteful fanfic (which I am more than guilty of writing).  But for a television show?  The viewers deserve better than that.  NEAL/BAELFIRE and every character that ever loved him deserved better than that.  

I know I probably missed a bunch but I really did try to hit the highlights and put them in the order they deserved.

Thoughts?  Comments?  If you think I’m missing a tag for this (I’m doing my best) let me know and I’ll add it.  

[bethesdaglitch]

1-70 do em all! 😁💙

I’m seriously so sorry this took so long, but it was so much fun!! thank you!!! Also it’s super long so I’m gonna put it under a readmore!

1. First game you played obsessively?

Jak & Daxter! 2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.Lmao I’m not exactly a creative person, but when I was little I tried coming up with and drawing my own pokemon. They were… bad3. Who did you play with as a kid?My brother! At first I stole his Gameboy Color whenever he wasn’t using it, but then he saved up and bought a PS2 so we could play games together4. Who do you play with now?No one really lol. I kinda prefer to play single-player games now? But I’ll play with various friends when we hang out.5. Ever use cheat codes?When I was little, yeah! Especially in the Sly Raccoon games 6. Ever buy strategy guides?Before the age of unlimited free online strategy guides I did, now I just use said online ones7. Any games you have multiple copies of?Yep, I’ve “lost” games only to find them again after replacing them like… four times? It happened with Oblivion, Fable 3, DA: Origins, and, weirdly enough, that one obscure (but fun imo!) wii game, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?This one was hard! After a teeny bit of research, I narrowed it down to either Rule of Rose, LoZ Collector’s Edition on Gamecube, and pokemon red and yellow9. Most regrettable purchase?Hhhhhhhh I bought the video game for the 2006 Dreamworks movie Over the Hedge. I was only 12, but I still should’ve known better :(10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?I’ve gone to a few midnight releases, but none that have lasted for hours, luckily. I only started going to them in the last few years, so the only ones I’ve been to so far are Fallout 4, DA:I and uh… ME:A (I KNOW)11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?Nah not really, I don’t play online games, so. I have friends who play video games, but I’ve never met someone BECAUSE of video games12. Ever get picked on for liking games?Lol no?13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?Overwatch14. Favorite game music?NIER, hands down. 15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?Probably something cute and harmless like the leaf from Animal Crossing lol16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?Lately we’ve been really into Towerfall: Ascension and Screencheat17. Ever lose a friend over a game?Wh—no????18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?So long as they didn’t try to “forbid” me from playing and so long as we had other interests to bond over, then sure. It’d be kind of a bummer though lol19. Favorite handheld console?Idk that I have one! Maybe the Switch, since that’s the most recent and popular?20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?Silent Hill 3 and DA:I21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?The Civilization games22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?Sometimes, yeah. Nothing too embarrassing, though. 23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?What, like… ever?? Geez, I dunno… probably Oblivion?24. First Pokemon game?Yellow!25. Were you ever an arcade game player?I actually wasn’t really :/26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?Oh yeah, with my brother. He’s 6 years older than me, which pretty much guaranteed I got my ass kicked in every game we played when I was younger27. Game that makes you rage?Bloodborne and Dark Souls!!!!!! I swear I try to go back and play them at least once a year, and I can never get past the first hour :(28. Ever play in a tournament?Not like an official one, but ones with friends, yep29. What is your gaming set up?Imma be real with you chief I don’t know nearly enough about computers to answer this question with anything other than “a computer”30. How many consoles do you own?Ohohoho far too many31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?I’ve never had the 3D slider up long enough to tell, but that probably means yes lol32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?BOY when I was in first grade I played Spongebob: Supersponge on Gameboy advance so much I STILL remember the password that lets you skip to the final stage (it’s WMBT) 33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?nah 34. Do either of your parents play video games?PFFF GOD NO. Although my mom does love Animal Crossing. Not playing it, but just like it’s whole deal. 35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?No and no, tbh36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?I… don’t think so? Maybe I’ve cried over a game, but blood?? Put the controller down, y’all37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?NO NO NO OVER THE HEDGE (2006) FOR THE PS2 IS THE SINGLE WORST GAME EVER MADE FIGHT ME ON THIS38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?Oh lord… idk if anyone’s ever played any of Ambition’s dating sims (Dream Girlfriend, Dream Boyfriend, Animal Boyfriend, and Moe Can Change) but I’ve literally been playing them for about… 5-ish years now? They’re seriously the worst, I fucking love them 39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?Hmm… Maybe a new Kingdoms of Amalur game would be cool? 40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?I love VR but the last time I tried it at a friend’s place I fucking faceplanted after leaning on a counter I forgot was also virtual and the first thing my friend asked was whether the headset was ok, so that stung. As for motion controls, they’re fun but they can be a real pain41. A genre that you just can’t get into?Sports games 42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?The path to what43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?Oh yeah, who hasn’t?44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?Idk if this counts but I am a MASTER at the claw machine and that stacker game. My closet is full of useless shit I’ve won from those things45. How are you at Mario Kart?OH SO FUCKING GOOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?yesssss I love them47. Do you like competitive games?I mean like I said, I mostly prefer single-player games, but I do enjoy the occasional co-op game48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?about an hour49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?I actually don’t! If it’s a game I’m not confident I’ll be good at, I pick whichever class is recommended for beginners, and that changes from game to game. Alternatively, I just go through phases where I prefer a specific class above others 50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?Christ I have no idea. Maybe a first-person escape game? idk51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?NO?? DAMN ARE Y’ALL OK????52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?Literally any M game; my parents were strictly “No M games until you’re old enough!” I just got my brother to buy them most of the time though lol53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?Most DLC is fine, it’s microtransactions in “pay-to-win” games that I fucking hate. 54. Do you give in to Steam sales?HAHAHAHAHA yeah absolutely 55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?N-No??? 56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?Ok yeah I did do that 57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?Ew no58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?Ooooh… ok, Oblivion, My Time in Portia, and Divinity 259. Do you play any cell phone games?I do! I play a lot of escape games, and uh… the Ambition games mentioned previously60. Do you know the Konami Code?Is that the up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A? Huh, I never knew it had a name!61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?I used to trade them in occasionally, but mostly I keep them 62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?Yeah the Switch for BotW. Not proud of it, but it was worth it63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? nah64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?Yep! 65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?OHHHH MY GOD YEAH, I’M STILL FUCKING PISSED ABOUT IT. I had GameShark for Gameboy and PS2, but that one was fine, it didn’t cause any problems. It was ACTION FUCKING REPLAY that fucked me over. I used it for KH2 and it worked the whole time until literally THE VERY LAST XEMNAS FIGHT, when my HP bar suddenly dropped to 1??? Not my HP, mind you, the HP BAR. Meaning 1 HP was the most I could have. Literally fuck action replay >:( 66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?nope67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?I do! The very first thing I ever saved up money for to buy myself was Pokemon Crystal version. Until then I’d just been borrowing (re:stealing) my brother’s, but when I was 5 and Crystal was about to come out, my parents made me a deal that if I saved up $15, they’d pay the other $15 and I could get it! It was the first time I was working towards a fun goal, so it was all pretty exciting for 5-year-old me lol. It’s dumb, I know, but it’s something I look back on fondly68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?Lol nah, I think the best thing I ever got with tickets was a cheap snowglobe 69. In your opinion, best game ever made? UHHHH GOD. That’s… super tough. I’m genuinely not sure I have an answer tbh. I’m really into Divinity 2 right now but best game ever made?? Idk! that’s a hard one!!!! 70. Very first game you ever beat? I won’t lie, it was Spongebob: Supersponge on GBA

[casiplescastle]

FANFICTION MASTERPOST: “IRON MAN/AVENGERS”

So, to celebrate my love for FanFiction and the amazing authors who made them, I made this FanFiction Masterpost compiled of some of the best stories I’ve read to corresponding fandoms. Enjoy!

NOTE: I edited some of the synopsis. The bold and italicized ones are my faves and HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. (Also, the picture is not mine.)

TONY STARK-CENTRIC

1.) Promises by FriendLey

Summary: AU where Pepper and Tony are married pre Iron Man 1.

2.) Parental Guidance by FriendLey

Summary: What if Howard and Maria Stark never died but are bored, retired parents worrying over Tony and nagging him to finally marry that charming girl Virginia, bring home some friends who is not just composed of Rhodey, and for crying out loud when is he going to give them grandchildren?

3.) Fiesta De Los Muertos by ScarletMelodies92

Summary: The events which lead to Anthony Stark becoming Death's favourite Merchant. Leads all the way up to Infinity War.

4.) My Name Was Not Friend by HiMyNameIsNotSlimShady

Summary: "I told you amendments were more than possible, and, and I delivered! I told you Bucky would be transferred to an American psych ward for therapy, to get help! I offered to legalize everything you did to get Bucky, both you and Sam!" Sam takes a step back, a gruff noise escaping his throat. Steve won't look at him, he can't rip his gaze away from Tony.

5.) Breathe by ancalime8301

Summary: Tony catches the cold making the rounds of the compound, but for him it's not as simple as a common cold.

6.) His little project by EternalSheWolf

Summary: “The reason I’m telling you, Rogers, is I’m pretty sure that you won’t find it in that file. And if you’re trying to understand Stark? Don’t. Better minds than yours have failed in that endeavor. Just accept that he’s there, and that he rolls the way he does."

[ Part 2 of the Kidnapping is a Bad Thing, Tony series ]

7.) His Greatest Creation by puzzlingnerd57

Summary: Howard sighed as the camera turned off. His greatest creation? Why did he say that? Truth or not, what he just said was dangerous. If anyone other than his son would see this tape, it would put Tony at risk. Thinking about his son had him looking back at the table, where his city of the future was laid out. He was limited to the technology he had. His son wouldn’t be. And maybe, once Tony was older, he could tell him the truth.

8.) Irreplacable by allaire mikháil (allaire)

Summary: Tony Stark has always been larger than life. Maybe Steve forgot that the man underneath the armor was all too human.

9.) Forced Reflection by Kizmet

Summary: Interludes with the Anti-Accords Team while they try to figure out how things went so wrong.

[ Part 6 of the Chasing Ideal series ]

10.) From Dust by Haecceity

Summary: Maria Hill has opinions on a lot of things. It's part of her job description. After the events of Captain America: Civil War, she finally starts sharing a few.

[ Part 3 of the La Ronde series ]

11.) Amend by ancalime8301

Summary: The stress finally catches up with Tony in dramatic fashion. The team has to decide to step up and handle things while Tony can't. Tony has to decide if he'll let them.

12.) Brilliance by shadowlancer_95

Summary: Tony Stark has, beyond all odds, earned the respect of Thanos the Mad Titan. It isn't necessarily a good thing.

[ Part 1 of the Infinity War AUs series ]

13.) All Dust Roads Lead Back To You by Hey_Diddle_Diddle25

Summary: Howard doesn't understand how he survived the accident that took his wife. He can't fathom what he's ever done to deserve that. Tony doesn't care what happened, just that he didn't lose both his parents, though most days it certainly felt like he did. Then Tony gets kidnapped and everything changes. Again.

[ Part 1 of the We Are Kings series ]

14.) Cut Your Teeth by karcheri

Summary: Tony erases the Avengers from his memory. They catch on.

15.) The Future of the World (and a Little Girl) by Kizmet

Summary: Incidents of unwanted excitement as Pepper tours to demonstrate SI’s Arc Shield technology.

[ Part 7 of the Chasing Ideal series ]

16.) The Head is too Wise (The Heart is all Fire) by karcheri

Summary: “But Maria…” He gives a small smile at this, “Maria had been a dream.” (Or, Hank Pym offers Steve some insight. It goes a long way.)

18.) The Merchant of Death by F-117 Nighthawk (F117_Nighthawk)

Summary: The Merchant of Death was a bit of a misnomer.

19.) Shook by sunbean72

Summary: Tony finds himself trapped in a collapsed building.

20.) Stark Dissonance by orphan_account

Summary: In which Howard and Tony have drastically different ideas of what love looks like.

21.) The Stark Family by CaraMia

Summary: The letter is short and to the point, written in an elegant hand on heavy stationery. Peggy is in awe. She never thought that Maria would ever do it. She's taken Tony and left Howard.

22.) Three Times Tony Took Care of Everyone and Once When They Took Care of Him by sunbean72

Summary: Post-Spider-Man and Post-CACW.

23.) Unspoken by  Von

Summary:  Captain America is the undisputed leader of the Avengers, but when he goes down? Iron Man steps up. Fury wants to know why nobody else thinks that's crazy.

24.)  Of Cats and Tongues by Melethril

Summary:  People firmly, almost stubbornly, believed that he was the more disciplined mind. That alone amused Bruce Banner.

25.)  Make Do by Nikoru-chan

Summary: Captain America is used to challenges: Captain America led a top commando team in WWII, Captain America worked closely with Howard Stark, Captain America is now a greatly respected Avenger. Steve Rogers, on the other hand, has to deal with Tony Stark.

26.) Second Chances by Ana (Anafandom)

Summary: Several months after Civil War, Tony Stark has moved on with his life and is doing as all as can be expected. Then Howard and Maria Stark mysteriously appear back in his life, giving Tony and his parents a second chance of being a family and healing old wounds.

[ Part 1 of the Second Chances series ]

27.) Thank You Captain America by TheSourceOfAll

Summary: In hindsight, he probably should have had backup on standby. It was a HYDRA base after all, and assuming the place had been abandoned just because there was no one around at the time was kind of stupid.

[ Part 1 of the Thank You Series series ]

28.) Watermarks by SailorChibi

Summary: There was nothing I could do by then, though. I tried, but Howard had so much money and influence and I’d given up all my parental rights. Howard. Maria. Steve stared at Peggy's letter in growing horror. No.

29.) Trust and Betrayal by LadyCrimsonAndBlack

Summary: People who betray Tony Stark tend to end up dead. Steve Rogers gets off easy. Or Nick Fury deals with the aftermath of the Civil War. It involves lots of paperwork, media and Pepper Potts being scary enough to give even him a pause.

30.) The Right Thing in the Wrong Way by igrockspock

Summary: People don't ask why Pepper sticks by Tony as often as they should, and if they did, she probably wouldn't tell them the truth: that he's never left her alone on the one day she actually needs him.

31.) Sixth Sense by FriendLey

Summary: Tony has a bad feeling. Pepper tries to relieve him of it.

[ Part 3 of the Infinity War Speculation series ]

32.) Please Let Him Be Soft by DarkWolf

Summary: Pepper reflects on her relationship with Tony and what she wants post Civil War.

33.) Retirement by Pikapegasus

Summary: “I mean us, you and me, a former CEO and his successor, trying to make things work in the midst of their crazy busy lives. Plus the whole superhero thing, which is his night job, though he works overtime occasionally and has to deal with worldwide threats for several days at a time," Tony says. "Pretty romantic-sounding, huh?”

[ Part 4 of the Pepperony Week 2017 series ]

34.) What We Leave Behind by tobedecided

Summary: She sat in silence. It was eerie how familiar the scene was. How it echoed where they were six years ago.

35.) Yet Turning Stay by irnan

Summary: "Tony - you're all I've got too, you know."

36.) Walk in the Park by FriendLey

Summary: Pepper and Tony go jogging.

[ Part 1 of the Infinity War Speculation series ]

37.) Call Every Girl We Ever Met Maria by irnan

Summary: "You're telling me," Rhodey said, gleeful, "You're telling me that you've been shot, stabbed, sewn up, been riddled with shrapnel, had a magnet implanted in your chest, spent two years poisoning yourself with palladium, spent twenty years as a functioning alcoholic and had a vasectomy and you still managed to knock Pepper up?"

38.) Scenes From Our Mansion, After the War by jaegermighty

Summary: "Apologies, madam," says JARVIS, "but both you and Mr. Stark made me promise to prevent you from being one of 'those couples.’”

TO BE CONTINUED...

[ Spider-Man and Iron Man ] [ Star Wars ] [ Thor and Avengers ]

[hyuwujin]

♡ random tag ♡

I was tagged by my amazingly talented hyunjin stan besties, @hyunjinh and @hyuunjins ! Ty for tagging me bbs, ILYYY!

1) 5 favorite groups?

Stray Kids

BTS

ASTRO

GOT7

BlackPink

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

Hyunjin

Yoongi

Vernon

Bambam

JinJin

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

okay,,,woah, this is reaaaally hard to answer bc stray kids came into my life recently whereas BTS has been around for about a year askasd Okay, if you asked me in December who my ult was, no doubt I’d say BTS. All of them are so hardworking and to come from a small label and be such a huge sensation? Imagine the amount of work that had to be put in. Imagine the sleepless nights and meals they didn’t eat because they were working so hard. Esp, with Burn the Stage on yt, we’re learning so much of their hardships during their trainee days and it really breaks my heart. On another note, their lyrics! They aren’t all typical and pointed toward girls and I love that! We have songs about society, hate, and government (i’ll get into stray kids in a bit) I could go on. I appreciate every single one of those boys and I’m so proud of them, even if i haven’t been there for them since the beginning.

Whew;;;

Okay now? Am i allowed to have two ults? Bc I also love Stray KIds with my whole heart. They’re the group, I’ve spent the most time and money on alksjsad I’ve been there for them since predebut and that holds a special place in my heart! Watching their journey from being trainees to debuting is really going to stick with me. I was there when minho and felix were eliminated i’m sorry for bringing this up agiksjdh and I WAS ANGRY AS HELL AND SAD AND WANTED TO KILL JYP. I was there when they returned and I remember my heart swelling to see them again. Overall as a group, I just love these boys so much and I’m excited to see where they go with their music. They’re already questioning society and the thoughts going through teens/young adult minds and I JUST LOVE IT ALDSKSD

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

As much as i love love love love love Hyunjin, I think my ult has always been Yoongi. He’s the guy i literally handed my heart to askldhs BTS was probably the group that really got me into kpop and my oh my, Yoongi just came on screen and I was breathless. i’ve got a thing for rappers alright? dont @ me. Anyway, don’t get me wrong, I love ALL of bts but Yoongi has a special place in my heart and I’ll always know him as that guy who drew me more into kpop sdjasd I COULD GO ON ABOUT HOW HARDWORKING HE IS BELIEVE ME! 

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

hmm, fav kpop meme? I think i like jungkook’s “pardon” the most asldkjsd

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

oooooooh, this is difficult. I love blungi (blue haired yoongi) with all my heart bUT WHEN HES BLONDE? IM DECEASED;;;

(not my gif)

7) 5 Favorite Kpop MVs

I tired not to repeat artists alksdasd

Euphoria - BTS

Trauma - Seventeen

Baby - ASTRO

Hellevator - Stray Kids

Hate - 4minute

8) 10 Favorite Kpop songs?

Go Go - BTS

Grow up - Stray Kids

Crazy Sexy Cool - ASTRO

As if it’s Your Last - BlackPink

Lost - BTS

Don’t Wanna Cry - Seventeen

YAYAYA - Stray Kids

Just Right - GOT7

Daydream - Jhope

Change Up - Seventeen

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

askdhasd The reason I grew to love bts so damn much was because of the crack videos. Deadass, I spent my entire spring break of last year ONLY watching crack videos. Hm, i think my favorite has to be the “waKE ME UP iNSidE” or “When Suga forgot his SWAG” adkhas

10) Favorite content creator within the fandom?

I think we can all agree that everyone blog made in the stray kids fandom is talented af and amazing!!!

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

I used to be most active in the ARMY but...ive lost inspo for writing buT I STILL LOVE MY BOYS. i’ve been the most active in th e the stray kids fandom, much more than ARMY, i can tell you that. For bts, i’ve written fics and done fake texts but for sk? I’ve done that AND made moodboards, video edits and some shitposts asldkjsd

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

F(riendly convo with) - Vernon bc he just seems so funny and memey and ilh

M - uhh hyunjin bc we’re the closest in age and um,,,i love him???

K - Yoongi bc whenever i see him i wanna punch myself in the face lasdjd

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

He’s a bias wrecker and it’s Kim Taehyung! Ngl, i wanna marry the hell outta that boy but i think we’re more compatible as besties adasd He just seems like he would be my personal bubble of happiness and he’d be there for me when i need a good laugh or someone to vent to.

14) If you could date any idol, who?

Okay so he isn’t even my bias but Jungkook???? Idk i just...whenever i see him, my heart just swells and i just wanna hug him sometimes and he looks so cuddly and he’s so funny and memey and omg i need to stop. so yeah, i love jeon jungkook and idk what to do with myself....

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

BTS - Wings (that entire album kILLS me)

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

uhhhh i think i’m more of a soft stan but i’m not toTALLY innocent as hell.

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

Jeongin. Have you seen that bbs smile? 

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

Definitely Jungkook asdljasd

19) Favorite vocalist?

Kim Taehyung, no doubt. His voice is just so low and smooth and woah it can put me to sleep. 

20) Favorite Rapper?

Okay, i’m mentioning A LOT of bts and i’m sorry oops. I love Yoongi’s rapping ssosososo much but Changbin’s growling kind of rap? GIVES ME DEATH. AKSDH not gonna lie, i was intimidated the first time i heard him but after a while (and knowing he’s actually a big softie) i really grew to love it so much ah.

21) Favorite dancer?

Hyunjin! Any mv or dance video i’m watching, my eyes linger to Hyunjin bc I JUST LOVE HOW HE DANCES SO MUCH AHHHH

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

Nothing. Honestly, i doubt Yoongi and I have anything in common sldakjsd so i guess i’ll go with my 2nd ult. So ppl tell me i’m soft and shy like Hyunjin? So there’s that but I also notice how CUDDLY hyunjin is w/ everyone. AND ASK ANYONE I KNOW PERSONALLY (i’m looking at you, chels @pcysconverse​ ) IM SUCH A KOALA AND HUG AND CUDDLE EVERYONE ADLJSD

23) The most beautiful trait any idol can have?

i love modesty aslkjasd You know, those idols who work so hard and then brush it off and don’t bother to brag about just how hard they’ve worked. I love that.

Physically, smiles are the way to win my heart. 

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

District 9. On friday, my friend and i were listening to it on the train and we were jamming, all the while people probs sent us weird looks.

25) Your worst wrecker?

Jeon JungkOOOOOk! *jimin’s voice* 

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

I went to an ASTRO fanmeeting back in February! 

27) Favorite choreo?

GoGo;;;; YOLOYOLOYOLO YO :))))))

28) Favorite live performance?

LITERALLY ANY FIRE by BTS PERFORMANCE. This one is a personal fave tho.

29) Favorite debut mv?

i DONT’T HAVE ONE ASDLJSD

30) Recommend a rookie group

stray kids bc i think they’re tho only one i know adlksad

31.) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

Euphoria bc i have been listening to it everyday asldkjasd

32) Tag some cute mutuals you’d like to get to know better (and to do this challenge)!

@seungchanie @hyyunjinn @jeongin @straykidzz @straycuties @minhomygod @realstraykids @changbeanie @felixthekoala and anyone who’d like to do it!

[your-dietician]

Save on Sony, Beats, Samsung, Nintendo and more

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/health/save-on-sony-beats-samsung-nintendo-and-more/

Save on Sony, Beats, Samsung, Nintendo and more

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Missed out on Walmart’s Deals For Days? Believe it or not, most of the sales are still active this weekend! (Photo: Getty Images)

After a week full of sales, sales and more sales, you (and your wallet) can probably use a break. However, if you realized you forgot to pick up something important, or if something you really wanted got sold out from right under you, you’re in luck.

Walmart’s having a massive weekend-long sale and the savings are just as good as they were earlier this week. We’re talking marked-down TVs, tech, vacs and more, all discounted and ready to be scooped up.

If you spend $35 or more, you’ll get free shipping. To score free shipping on all orders, plus lots more benefits including speedy delivery, sign up for Walmart+. Get a free 15-day trial here (a answering a quick three-question survey will add on an additional two weeks for a solid 30 days of use). 

Here are the best weekend sales from Walmart sale.

Best TV sales

No joke — this Sony 65-incher is over $300 off this weekend! (Photo: Walmart)

On sale for $998 (was $1,300), the Sony 65-inch 4K Ultra HD LED TV is the latest from the legendary tech company. The massive 65-inch 4K display is vivid and detailed. Sony’s state-of-the-art Processor X1 powers this beauty for true-to-life visuals, while HDR (High Dynamic Range) settings make sure colors stay bright and black levels stay dark. And shoppers just love its massive size!

“I will never be able to watch a smaller TV again. The picture and sound are incredible,” raved a happy TV watcher. “I can’t say enough great things about this TV. It feels like I’m at the movie theater! It also automatically signs in to all my applications after I log in with my Google account, and I can talk into the remote to control the TV. Love it!”

The 4K TV includes Android TV straight from Google. This means you’ll have instant access to popular streaming apps like Netflix, Disney+, HBO Max, Hulu, YouTube, Prime Video and much more. You’ll also get a wide range of gaming apps too. What’s not to love?

Story continues

Check out more TV sales below:

Sony 32-inch Class HD LED Smart TV, $298 (was $348), walmart.com

TCL 32-inch 3-Series Class HD LED Roku Smart TV, $145 (was $200), walmart.com

Sceptre 40-inch Class Full HD LED TV, $155 (was $200), walmart.com

Samsung 43-inch Class 4K Ultra HD Smart QLED TV, $898 (was $1,000), walmart.com

Samsung 50-inch Class 4K The Frame QLED Smart TV, $1,198 (was $1,700), walmart.com

TCL 50-inch Class 5-Series 4K Ultra HD QLED Roku Smart TV, $500 (was $600), walmart.com

LG 55-inch Class 4K Ultra HD Smart OLED C1 Series TV, $1,497 (was $2,000), walmart.com

Sony 55-inch Class XBR55X800H Bravia 4K Ultra HD LED Android Smart TV, $798 (was $1,000), walmart.com

LG 65-inch Class 4K Ultra HD NanoCell Smart TV, $997 (was $1,200), walmart.com

Best headphone and earbud sales

Your new best buds are now half price! (Photo: Walmart)

These Philips Wireless In-Ear Headphones are a handsome, waterproof option with a price that belies their high-performance quality: They’re on sale for just $30, down from $60. Yep, half price!

Walmart shoppers love everything about these cans: the sound, the comfy fit, the sturdy charging case. “I have had challenges finding in-ear phones that fit me well for a long time,” reported one fan. “I grabbed the chance to try these Philips Wireless In-Ear Headphones and I can say these are perfect! First off, I like the charging case, so you have power on the go when you need it. The headphones are super easy to pair both with my PC and my phone, and the sound is very good: The highs are not tinny and the bass is smooth…. Another quality product from Philips!”

What he said! You’ll never be juiceless with these Philips Wireless In-Ear Headphones — they offer up to 12 hours of playback. Impressive!

Check out more headphone and earbud sales below:

Beats Solo Pro Wireless Noise Canceling On-Ear Headphones, $149 (was $300), walmart.com

Bietrun Wireless Bluetooth Earbuds, $26 (was $130), walmart.com

Philips Bass+ BH305 Wireless Active Noise Canceling Headphones, $40 (was $120), walmart.com

JLab Audio JBuddies Studio Over-ear Kids Headphones, $15 (was $50), walmart.com

Meidong Bluetooth Noise-Canceling Over-Ear Headphones, $35 (was $70), walmart.com

Luxmo Bluetooth Headphones, $18 (was $36), walmart.com

Jelly Comb On Ear Headphones, $17 (was $50), walmart.com

JBL Live 500BT On-Ear Wireless Headphones, $60 (was $150), walmart.com

JLab Audio JBuds Air Executive True Wireless Bluetooth Earbuds, $39 (was $70), walmart.com

Best gaming sales

You haven’t seen The Last of Us! Not just a figure of speech, so snap this up! (Photo: Walmart)

The Last of Us Part II for PlayStation 4 — which is on sale for $30, or half off at Walmart — is set five years after the first game and follows Ellie and Abby’s fight to survive in a post-apocalyptic US. (Hint: The decisions made in the first game come back to haunt the characters in the second.) This is one of the best games of 2020, and it’s half off right now.

“I have played it three times,” shared a delighted gamer. “On each play-through, I found something new, which I most likely missed because of the insane attention to detail in this game. It all started to make sense after my second playthrough, and I think that The Last of Us Part II is one of the best storytelling masterpieces out there.”

Check out more gaming sales below:

Luigi’s Mansion 3 (Nintendo Switch), $40 (was $50), walmart.com

Fire Emblem: Three Houses (Nintendo Switch), $40 (was $50), walmart.com

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening (Nintendo Switch), $40 (was $60), walmart.com

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games: Tokyo 2020 (Nintendo Switch), $40 (was $60), walmart.com

Outriders: Day One Edition (PS4), $40 (was $60), walmart.com

Madden NFL 21 (Xbox One), $20 (was $60), walmart.com

Liphom Gaming Headset, $29 (was $48), walmart.com

Grand Theft Auto V: Premium Edition (PS4), $18 (was $60), walmart.com

The Pillars of The Earth (PS4), $29 (was $45), walmart.com

Best smart-home sales

Wouldn’t you like to wake up to something more lyrical, gentle or informative than a sharp, droning buzz or beep? (Photo: Walmart)

On sale for $49 (was $80), the Lenovo Smart Clock is powered with Google Assistant for seamless syncing to a smartphone. It can rouse you from your slumber with your favorite tunes, the weather, calendar reminders and events, and that podcast you love. Because, really, who couldn’t use some help getting out of bed?

“I have trouble waking up in the mornings and this alarm clock doesn’t disappoint,” raved a satisfied shopper. “I like the wake-up feature that gradually wakes you up and then gives you a morning update of the weather and all the morning news. I’m able to connect it to all my Google devices too.”

Check out more smart home sales below:

Google Nest Mini (second generation), $35 (was $49), walmart.com

Samsung Galaxy Watch Active 2 (44mm), $200 (was $279), walmart.com

XODO Smart Home Security Surveillance Kit, $60 (was $80), walmart.com

XODO Smart Wi-Fi Video Doorbell Wireless Security Camera, $90 (was $150), walmart.com

TSV Smart Plug (two-pack), $18 (was $26), walmart.com

Defender Ultra HD 4K Wired Outdoor Security System (1TB), $260 (was $450), walmart.com

Anself Wireless Burglar Alarm, $20 (was $28), walmart.com

Fymall Wi-Fi Smart Color LED Light Bulb, $11 (was $24), walmart.com

Best home office sales

You never know when you need a new laptop. Actually, now you do. (Photo: Walmart)

The thing about laptops? Sometimes you’re the last to know when one’s on its last legs, so it’s always wise to keep your eyes open for a replacement (or backup). On sale for $429 (was $749), this sleek and stylish Gateway Ultra Slim Notebook has a 15.6-inch Full HD LCD display at 1080p, runs Windows 10 and features a comfortable keyboard and spacious trackpad for quick and easy navigation. It’s paired with 16GB of memory and 256GB of on-board storage, and has up to 10 hours of battery life per charge. Shoppers love its built-in fingerprint reader for a super-speedy login.

“Laptop is amazing. I could not be happier with it,” raved a savvy Walmart shopper. “Super smooth interface, fantastic speed and video quality is superb — I have not had any buffering at all. The screen size is perfect and I am really loving this dark green color, very sleek and modern looking. I like that you can set a fingerprint login for extra security…Lots of storage space, fast browsing and crystal clear sound. You really cannot beat this laptop.”

Check out more home office sales below:

Lenovo Ideapad Flex 5, $399 (was $520), walmart.com

Sceptre 27-inch HD LCD Computer Monitor, $130 (was $200), walmart.com

Samsung CB4 Chromebook, $159 (was $230), walmart.com

Canon Pixma G4210 Wireless MegaTank All-In-One InkJet Printer, $300 (was $400), walmart.com

Ousgar 47-inch White Desk, $80 (was $300), walmart.com

Kuku Mobile Call Center Telephone USB Headset, $28 (was $40), walmart.com

Beyerdynamic MMX 300 2nd Gen Conference Call Headset, $268 (was $422), walmart.com

Gamma Ray Optics 010 Slim Vintage Computer Readers, $18 (was $25), walmart.com

Hemu Fashion Bamboo Laptop Lap Tray, $38 (was $80), walmart.com

Best vacuums sales

This vacuum sucks…and that’s a very good thing. Save nearly 70 percent! (Photo: Walmart)

Do you have hair-shedding pets? Do you want to keep a clean home but are just too busy during your week to make sure it stays neat and tidy? If your answer is yes, then the EcoVacs Deebot 711 Robot Vacuum Cleaner might be a good option for you. It’s on sale for a ridonculous $178 at Walmart!

The robovac makes it easy to keep your hardwood floors or carpet clean, even if you’re not at home. Just sync the vacuum to your smartphone via the Ecovacs app and let the Deebot do the rest. This vacuum uses “Smart Navi 2.0” technology to map your space, so it can keep your home free from crumbs, debris, pet hair and other icky things.

“I’m really happy with the quality and price of this vacuum,” shared a savvy Walmart shopper. “It does a solid job, follows its schedule and switches easily between thick shag rug and hardwood floors. I love that it sends you a report when it’s done and lets you know if it has an issue.”

Check out more vacuum sales below:

Bissell Pet Hair Eraser Slim Corded, $99 (was $199), walmart.com

Shark ION Robot Vacuum RV750, $148 (was $299), walmart.com

iHome AutoVac Eclipse G 2-in-1 Robot Vacuum and Mop, $179 (was $400), walmart.com

Eureka Groove 4-Way Control Robotic Vacuum, $129 (was $199), walmart.com

iHome AutoVac Nova Self Empty Robot Vacuum and Mop, $299 (was $599), walmart.com

ILife A4s Robot Vacuum Cleaner, $119 (was $180), walmart.com

Mighty Rock Robot Vacuum and Mop, $73 (was $130), walmart.com

Ionvac SmartClean 2000 Robovac, $99 (was $180), walmart.com

ILife V5s Pro Robot Vacuum and Mop, $135 (was $180), walmart.com

Best style sales

Floaty, flowy, and flamboyantly economical. Perfect for any occasion. (Photo: Walmart)

No, it’s not a typo: This gorgeous Max Studio frock is on sale for 15 bucks! It has a fit-and- flared silhouette, a tiered skirt, and fluttery ruffled sleeves. It’s made of a soft, flattering jersey material, and boasts a knee-length hem and a U-shaped neckline.

Did we mention it’s $83 off?!

“Fabric is soft and comfy, like pajamas,” a shopper shared. “Cut is flattering…The shoulder detail is super cute. It’s pretty casual, but some wedges and jewelry could probably dress it up for an office setting.”

Check out more style sales below:

Scoop Women’s Espadrille Wedge Sandal, $20 (was $35), walmart.com

Zanea Womens Polka Dot Short Sleeve Long Dress, $24 (was $48), walmart.com

KOGMO Womens Premium Cotton Full Length Leggings, $12 (was $18), walmart.com

Status by Chenault Women’s Cotton Slub Jersey with Cotton Eyelet Dress, $9.50 (was $78), walmart.com

Cate & Chloe McKenzie 18k White Gold Dangling Earrings, $18 (was $136), walmart.com

Charmo Women’s Ruffle One Piece Swimsuit, $17 (was $30), walmart.com

Best kitchen sales

Drool-worthy meals at an even more drool-worthy price. Seriously, though,don’t drool. People are eating! (Photo: Walmart)

Listen up, breakfast connoisseurs! This griddle is made for all sorts of morning delicacies: eggs, bacon, even pancakes! It’s treated with a nonstick coating and can act as a separate cooking surface for those with dietary restrictions or as an additional surface for family cookouts or side dishes. It’s so easy to clean too — just chuck it in the dishwasher.

“Really good griddle — everything I’ve cooked turned out delicious!” one shopper shared. “I put four chops on at a time, but you can fit more — just rotate them — and all I can say is…delicious!!! After use, I take a paper towel or a rag and wipe it down. My hubby and I just love it!”

Check out more kitchen sales below:

Tramontina Primaware 18 Piece Non-stick Cookware Set, Steel Gray, $40 (was $50), walmart.com

The Pioneer Woman Cowboy Rustic 14-Piece Forged Cutlery Knife Block Set, $39 (was $70), walmart.com

Chefman TurboFry Air Fryer, $74 (was $99), walmart.com

The Pioneer Woman Mazie 2-Piece Ceramic Red Rectangle Baker Set, $20 (was $25), walmart.com

Farberware 3.2 Quart Oil-Less Multi-Functional Air Fryer, $60 (was $99), walmart.com

Ninja 12 Cup Programmable Coffee Brewer, $69 (was $79), walmart.com

Best Choice Products 16.9qt 1800W 10-in-1 Family Size Air Fryer, $130 (was $255), walmart.com

Hamilton Beach 12 Cup Digital Automatic LCD Programmable Coffeemaker Brewer, $90 (was $105), walmart.com

Best beauty sales

The one mask you’ll be happy to keep wearing. (Photo: Walmart)

We can all use a little more luxury — and this mask is the perfect way to get it. It’s made with 24K gold, which is known for its anti-aging properties (think lifting and firming). Beyond helping rejuvenate your skin, it also leaves behind a beautiful golden glow.

“This mask is great,” a shopper shared. “It has a gooey consistency going on, and leaves your face super smooth and firm after. The gold color is really fun as well.”

Check out more beauty sales below:

BylissPRO Nano Titanium Lightweight Ionic Hair Dryer, $65 (was $85), walmart.com

Burberry Classic Eau De Parfum, $32 (was $98), walmart.com

Elizabeth Arden Ceramide Capsules Daily Youth Restoring Face Serum, $70 (was $100),walmart.com

Remington Anti-Static Flat Iron, $16 (was $20), walmart.com

Artnaturals Anti-Aging Retinol, $12 (was $16), walmart.com

Conair Double Ceramic Curling Iron, $12 (was $23), walmart.com

Glycolic Acid 20% Resurfacing Pads, $25 (was $50), walmart.com

IMAGE Skincare Ageless Total Eye Lift Creme, $31 (was $50), walmart.com

Best mattress and bedding sales

The stuff dreams are made of: saving $300 and getting the greatest sleep of your life. (Photo: Walmart)

If you’ve had your mattress for longer than you can remember, it’s high time to replace it — and, lucky you, this one is on sale! It’s made with 12 inches of plush memory foam supported by coils, and it’s just the right balance between soft and firm. The only drawback? Getting out of bed in the morning is about to get a lot harder.

“I was surprised at how soft and comfy this mattress was,” a shopper reported. “I took it out of the box and plastic and it opened right up to the 12-inch size. It is supposed to take 24 hours to expand but it expanded a lot right away. It’s super thick and so far feels very comfortable. I am surprised at how great a mattress in a box could be!”

Check out more mattress and bedding sales below:

Noble Linens 8-Piece Bed in a Bag Bedding Set, Twin, White, $45 (was $65), walmart.com

Mattress Topper Queen, 2-Inch Cool Swirl Gel Memory Foam Mattress Topper, Blue, $70 (was $105), walmart.com

Hatch Embroidered Stripe 7-Piece Comforter Set, $30 (was $70), walmart.com

Zeny Weighted Blanket, $47 (was $78), walmart.com

Wenzel 70″ x 60″ Camp Quilt – Red Brick Geo Print, $21 (was $29.50), walmart.com

Better Homes & Gardens Flowing Floral Comforter Set, $45 (was $65), walmart.com

Best pet sales

An unbeatable deal for the mistress of the house. That would be her. (Photo: Walmart)

It’s time to get your cat a space of her own — your couch cushions will thank you for it. This little den is perfect for small spaces and kittens. It has enough space for her to curl up and nap in, plus plenty of scratching spots and, most excitingly for her, a little ball she can attack as she pleases.

“My cats love this!” a shopper reported. “It’s great value for the price. The perch on top is small, but our cats find creative ways to utilize it…it’s a great scratcher and play station.”

Check out more pets sales below:

Oster Super Duty Dog Clippers, $35 (was $40), walmart.com

Portable Pet Dog Cat Outdoor Travel Water Bowl Bottle, $8.50 (was $11), walmart.com

Omega Paw Large Elite Self-Cleaning Litter Box, Black, $53 (was $78), walmart.com

Amgra Laser Pointer for Cats, $11 (was $16), walmart.com

Luxury Fluffy Soft Pet Bed, $15 (was $22), walmart.com

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[echodrops]

The Promises I Made (2017-2018)

For the past eleven years, I have spent every New Year’s Eve compiling a list of fifty promises I intend to keep or fulfill over the next twelve months. The results have been truly amazing, and I have kept some promises I never thought I could. This year, for New Year’s, there will be a new set of promises for to me keep, but here are the old ones, for review!

The Promises I Made (2017 edition)

1) I will get a(nother) new job. Or probably just curl up and die. Status: Kept! I got a new job and moved to Texas. 2) I will translate at least one more month’s worth of Regenkatze. Status: Broken. T_T I did a few pages, but I didn’t get far. 3) I will repot all my plants that need repotting. Finally. Status: Kept, amazingly. 4) I will buy actual freakin’ curtains that I like for my house, RAWR. Status: Broken. I bought no curtains this year. D; 5) I will continue to utilize Plant Nanny to track my water intake and keep myself from getting dehydrated. Status: Broken. I was okay at the beginning of the year, but then the usage dwindled. 6) I will complete at least one craft project that requires me to utilize a new skill, like working with a new material. Status: Broken. I didn’t do anything really crafty this year… too busy moving. 7) I will repair the mortar on the fence out front and seal the bricks on the window sills. Status: Broken—ditto the above. Moved out and wasn’t able to really keep any of these promises about my Utah house. 8) I will finish at least 26 books over the course of this year. Status: …I read a lot of fanfiction. A lot. But not too many new published books. Made it to maybe ten counting the readings I had to do for World Lit class but other than that, nothing close to 26. 9) I will trim the grape vine and call the city to see about cleaning out behind the house because the water culvert is flooding into my yard and jeopardizing my garage. Status: Actually kept! It needs to be trimmed again, but yes, I was able to trim it down and keep it from flooding. 10) I will successfully pass Horsemanship II. Status: Kept. 11) I will broaden my music tastes this year by getting into at least three new bands that I have never heard of or in genres that I don’t normally listen to. Status: Kept! I got into a few new K-pop bands and also Spellblast. 12) I will do the laundry at least once every two weeks. I swear it!! Status: Uh… Somewhat kept? At the new house in Texas I have to wear nicer clothes to work so I have to do laundry more often, but I don’t know about at least once every two weeks… 13) I will finish my new Anime Expo costume early and not wait until the last moment! Status: Broken—I didn’t cosplay at all this year. D; 14) I will remove all the rocks from in front of my house because they are hella ugly. Status: Broken; see above about moving out of Utah and no longer being able to work on the Utah house much. 15) I will go to a dentist and get Invisalign or some work done to fix my front left tooth. Status: Broken. I swapped jobs and had to wait for my benefits to restart and then by that time it wasn’t a good time to get dental work done. 16) I will have at least a once weekly “game night” with my roommates. Could be fun. Status: Broken… I think that um… we played a few times. 17) I will replace the battery in my watch, finally. Status: Kept! 18) I will pay off at least half my credit card debt. Important adult thing, yo. Status: Broken, sooooo broken. T_T It just got worse, not better. D; 19) I will learn at least 100 new words in German and document them as I go to keep them fresh in my memory. Status: Broken. I totally forgot that I even made this promise… 20) I will keep up with my new book club as long as it is possible for me to attend (I.e., if I don’t move). Status: Kept. The book club kinda fell apart pretty quick, but I kept up with it until it did. 21) I will be better about walking my dog because I have been slacking lately. Status: Broken, I’m so sorry Kinguin… It’s sooo hot in Texas. 22) I will build a new PC to replace the desktop computer that my dog destroyed. SLFSFJNDFG. Still angry. Status: Broken. Moving sapped all my money away, so I could not afford a new PC. T_T 23) I will get the scratched lenses removed from my glasses and change the prescription on the orange pair of glasses too. Status: Broken. See the above deal with the new benefits not kicking in for 90+ days.

24) Also: I will get my black glasses fixed so that they stop FALLING OFF and flying into the every nearby rock and sharp pointy object… Status: Broken. T_T

25) I will obtain at least one six-star hero in Tales of Link. Don’t look at me like that. Status: Broken—I haven’t played Tales of Link in months. @_@

26) I will design at least ten outfits and post them. (I’m still trying with this one, dammit.) Status: Broken. …I guess I should probably just give up on this one…

27) I will organize my closets, especially the hall closet which looks like a bomb went off. Status: Broken. I moved out of my Utah house which did involve cleaning out the closets, but um… the closets at the new house might be just as bad now…

28) I will actually utilize the stupid Paint Tool Sai that I paid for. At least three fully colored artworks this year. Status: Broken. I was able to draw nothingggg this year. T_T

29) I will level all my battle classes to 70 in Stormblood. Status: Surprisingly broken. I wasn’t able to play much at all after July so my time for leveling just plummeted.

30) I will reach 700 followers on tumblr. You should follow me. I’m only marginally a waste of time and space. Status: Kept! I have 861 followers right now! Thanks everyone for the follows! :D

31) I will learn to make a new (delicious) cocktail or two. Status: Broken. I drank a new delicious cocktail but I didn’t make any myself.

32) I will lose ten pounds. Status: Somewhat kept? I don’t think I made it to a full 10 pounds but I did noticeably lose some weight.

33) I will reach at least 300 species on my birding life list. Status: Kept! I’m at 306 currently, thanks to making to Texas and seeing a bunch of new birdies. 34) I will win NaNoWriMo this year. (But pretend that I didn’t, to not disrupt my blue-purple-blue-purple NaNo site pattern. XDD) Status: Broken. I didn’t even get to like 5,000 words. T_T 35) I will obtain the Astrope mount in FFXIV. Status: HA. I think I’m at like 200/1000 for mentor roulettes. Broken. 36) I will see at least one new bird species in the wild that is not native to the United States. Status: Hmmm, not sure what I was thinking about for this one, but I did not succeed.

37) I will put a storm door on the side door of my house because water is leaking in (due to lack of said screen door) and causing damage! Status: Gonna count this as somewhat kept because I did try to get a storm door installed, but they wanted to charge me $300 just to install the door and I didn’t have the money at the time. But I did fix the gap beneath the door so that it no longer leaks. 

38) I will visit Nicaragua. Status: Broken. T_T I had the chance but things were so bad at work I didn’t want to blow my vacation in case I needed it… And I did end up needing it, so things worked out.

39) I will water my plants more consistently and take better care of them—to the point where the one orchid that hasn’t bloomed in years will bloom again! Status: Uh… somewhat kept? Namely, I moved and left my plants in Utah, but they’re being taken care of by others so they’re alive at least still.

40) I will write at least four new chapters of my Voltron fic. Status: Kept!

41) I will get duct work done to bring heat to the downstairs bathroom and side bedroom. Status: Broken… But we did get a bigger heater for the downstairs so at least it was warmer down there this year.

42) I will update my calendar with important dates—holidays, birthdays, etc.—and be productive about sending cards and well-wishes. Status: Uh… broken. I forgot I made this promise too.

43) I will complete my series of posts about Yato/Hiyori. Really. Status: T_______T One day. One day. Broken. 44) I will pamper myself more—spa day at least once a month! Status: Somewhat kept? Maybe like barely kept. I was good at this for the first couple months, but then it tapered off. 45) I will visit my out-of-town friends more often and make better efforts to stay in more frequent contact. Status: I think I’ll mark this as kept. I visited more people this year, anyway, including @rachelwritesstories! 46) I will make sure the lawn stays decently mowed this year instead of being embarrassingly tall and weedy. Status: Hrm… Somewhat broken/somewhat kept? I did move, but apparently the lawn has been at least somewhat consistently mowed since I’ve been gone. 47) I will do some work on my laundry room to make it look less like a dungeon. Status: Broken. The dungeon persists. 48) I will revise TVR, especially the early chapters, and move it to AO3. Status: Broken. I got like maybe 1/3 of the way through revising the first chapter. Um… maybe in time for KH3 or something? :C

49) I will get an electric tree trimmer to make trimming my trees out front much easier. Status: Kept.

50) I will keep these promises. Status: Mostly broken. T_T

Totals Kept promises: 12 Broken promises: 31 Somewhat kept/broken promises: 7

Jesus, I thought I was glad to see the back-side of 2016… 2016 had nothing on the roller coaster of a year that 2017 was. What a literal dumpster fire. While politics and the environment went haywire around me, my job situation grew untenable again (ooh, but hilarious karma—just last month they fired the shitty boss and REHIRED my old awesome boss… Except of course by then I had already, you know, quit and moved across the country to pursue a whole new career field… Well, c’est la vie!) and I ended up packing up everything and completely changing my life once again…

In just the last two years I’ve swapped career fields twice and randomly packed up and moved to Texas of all places. I experienced the drama of prepping for a hurricane and also got to see it snow in Mexico. Life’s weird.

Looking back on these promises, I honestly don’t feel too bad that so many of them were broken this year. I really had no idea what was going to happen in 2017 when I made last year’s promises, and so a lot of the goals ended up not matching up with my reality in the end. At the end of the day though, I feel like I’m in a much better place today than I was at the end of 2016.

I don’t think 2018 is going to be easy, but I do think it is going to be better, and that’s a good feeling to have. Let’s do this! The new set of promises will be up by tomorrow.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #226 - Zoolander

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD

1) This film’s opening sequence is actually very interesting. We get an early feel for the film’s sense of humor as well as the surprisingly tense intrigue which gives the movie its edge.

2) Fuck, there’s a Donald Trump cameo in this movie. Fuck that guy.

3) Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander.

This is one of Stiller’s more unique performances, as it doesn’t rely on as much of a dry sense of humor like many of his other movies do. The idiocy of Zoolander allows for Stiller for some more room to play around. It is a trick to make Zoolander stupid but still likable, someone the audience sympathizes with and roots for. There is a risk of wanting him to fail because he’s so vain, but Stiller is able to get the heart of the character across. Yes, he’s stupid and vain, but you never get the sense that he’s being malicious. It’s this performance which is a key reason Zoolander has become the cult classic it is today.

4) Owen Wilson as Hansel.

A little less outlandish than Stiller’s Zoolander, Wilson still is able to define Hansel with a number of quick/off the cusp lines. His chemistry with Stiller is a standout part of the movie as he is mostly an enigma/enemy for most of the film before becoming an ally by the time the credits roll. His idiocy is on par with Zoolander’s and Wilson is still able to play the character as sympathetic, but he’s cut from a different cloth. He’s a different kind of idiot than Derek. The one thing I don’t get is, why is Hansel the rookie? Aren’t Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson the same age?

5) The tone of this film is unique for a broad comedy. The story is surprisingly dark (?), largely about Derek’s downfall and the risk he has of being a murderer. In most of the film, every scene just makes things worse and worse for Derek.His three best friends die an explosion, he’s largely mocked/humiliated/manipulated, he’s dealing with an existential crisis about who he is, and he’s rejected by his family. All of this gives the movie a unique edge, a defining flavor which has helped it be so endearing for so long.

6) Oh look, Jerry Stiller’s character just sexually harassed a woman by pinching her butt without consent. And it’s played off as a joke. Ah, 2001.

7) Will Ferrell as Mugatu.

One of the best scene stealers in a film FILLED with scene stealing performances, Ferrell (who is funny in pretty much all the movies he’s in) plays Mugatu with such bizarreness and occasional mania it’s hard not to find the performance funny. He’s the bad guy, a total weirdo with some serious self worth issues he’s covering for, and Ferrell just has so much fun in the part (meaning the audience has fun watching him).

8)

Maury [played by Jerry Stiller] (after Matilda asks for his opinion on Mugatu): “You want an opinion? With a good push up bra you could actually have a nice rack.”

Was this ever funny and not just painfully sexist?

9) Milla Jovovich doesn’t get enough credit for this film as Katinka.

Her role may be smaller than say Will Ferrell’s, but she owns it completely. Every moment she’s on screen is hysterical and defined by her bravado. I didn’t even realize it WAS Milla Jovovich the first time I watched this movie, she’s that good.

10) Derek’s hypnotism scene (and following karate scene) is wonderfully bizarre and represents the film’s sense of humor well. It’s all so strange and outlandish, unlike most other broad comedies of the time, it’s hard not to be memorable.

11) Christine Taylor as Matilda.

Taylor is largely the straight woman in the film but plays against Stiller well. She’s not the worst written female protagonist in an early 2000’s broad comedy I’ve seen, but she could be better. The character is made interesting more by Taylor’s performance - which imbues her with a sense of humanity, realism, and passion - than the writing, which has her more as a plot device than anything else. But, like I said, could be worse.

12) Ah! Winona Ryder is in this movie! I forgot about that.

13) The pre-walk-off encounter.

This scene is supported almost exclusively by the chemistry between Wilson and Stiller. Wilson in particular takes command of the scene, stealing it even from Zoolander with great lines like, “Don’t you know I’m loco?” It’s a lot of fun.

14) DAVID FREAKING BOWIE!

15) The Walk-Off

Quite possibly the most fun scene in the entire film, it is once again made by Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson just letting loose on screen. It just keeps building, the ridiculous of it all, supported by strong editing and fitting music, before reaching its inevitable and hysterical climax.

16) This film features a wonderfully weird character detail of Derek not being able to turn left. I can’t even imagine how anyone even thought that up but it just helps to define the movie.

17)

JP Prewitt: “The fashion industry has been behind every major political assassination over the last two hundred years.”

That’s it. That’s the plot of this movie. That’s the concept. And how totally freaking random and wonderfully weird it is. That idea on its own is hysterical.

18) David Duchovny’s role as JP Prewitt in this film is brief but a strong one. Definitely calling back to his role as the conspiracy obsessed Mulder on “The X-Files”, he helps support the film’s unique mystery driven tone.

19) According to IMDb:

Derek's repetition of the line "But why male models?" for the second time, in the cemetery scene, was an ad-lib by the actors; Ben Stiller forgot his line and simply repeated the earlier line again, and David Duchovny ran with it and gave him a straight answer.

20)

Matilda: “That shemale Katinka is not messing around.”

Ugh, I do not mis the early 2000s transphobic humor.

21) The heart to heart between Hansel and Derek is surprisingly poignant and sweet. They’re able to communicate honestly about their insecurities and move past it to be friends. I wish more of my gender was like that.

22) Matilda’s backstory is a double edged sword. On the one hand, her feeling about unattainable standards of beauty are incredibly realistic and great to feature on film. On the other, Derek and Hansel make jokes about her being bulimic (even if they apologize for it later). So, take that as you will.

23) Did we REALLY need an orgy scene?

24) The breakdance fight between Hansel and the DJ is pretty funny, specifically in the constant changes in music it yields.

25) Sometimes, I’m Mugatu.

26) And Derek stops a throwing star with a look. That’s how this film ends. Because why not?

27) The ending at Derek’s school is surprisingly sweet. It feels earned, sincere, and sympathetic. He’s worked past the BS of his life to actually help people (or at least, what this film presents as helping people). Hooray!

Zoolander is not for everyone. But if you’re a fan of kinda dumb comedies then you’ll dig it. It’s very funny, supported by Stiller’s performance as well as those he surrounds himself with (Ferrell, Wilson, Taylor, Jovovich). It’s a good movie to relax to and just enjoy. So maybe give it a shot.

[sixofdemigods]

Tag game!

I was tagged by the wonderful @kcznej! I’m tagging (most of you probably already did this or don’t want to share your entire life online but anyway):

@acciolunalovegood, @blueeyeschina, @bookgal24, @brehker, @heypottcr, @karkaroff, @nina-waffles-eater, @osarons, @protegototalumprotegomaxima, @quirkyreader (i’m well aware this isn’t 20 but isn’t ten enough?)

rules: you must answer these 83 statements and tag 20 people

Last…

1. drink? alcoholic or just in general? that would be prosecco / water, i’m lame 2. phone call? mum 3. text message? happy birthday message to a friend 4. song you listened to? stromae - tous les mêmes 5. time you cried? a week ago

Have you ever…

6. dated someone twice? no 7. kissed someone and regretted it? yeah 8. been cheated on? no 9. lost someone special? kind of? 10. been depressed? no 11. gotten drunk and thrown up? nope

Favourite colours:

12. turquoise 13. lavender, pastel purple 14. all shades of blue

In the last year, have you…

15. made new friends? yeah! quite a few :) 16. fallen out of love? no how does one do that please teach me 17. laughed until you cried? dude that happens like ten times a day 18. found out someone was talking about you? i don’t think so, no 19. met someone who changed you? nope 20. found out who your friends are? uhh what does that mean? no? 21. kissed someone on your facebook list? i don’t have a facebook and i haven’t kissed anyone so double no

General:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? again no fb 23. do you have any pets? two guinea pigs! 24. do you want to change your name? i mean i’m not very fond of it but i wouldn’t go as far as to change it 25. what did you do for your last birthday? long story lol, i was on a school exchange program in st. petersburg and we did some fun stuff! it was cool! 26. what time did you wake up? 5:43 am don’t ask why 27. what were you doing at midnight last night? sleep 28. name something you can’t wait for: meeting a nice girl who’s not straight, settling down with her and founding a family of five cats (idk man) 29. when was the last time you saw your mom? uhh five minutes ago or smth 30. what are you listening to right now? nothing 31. have you ever talked to a person named Tom? i’ve talked to a lot of people named tomasz or thomas but no never tom 32. something that is getting on your nerves? right now? nothing in particular; in general? sexism, racism, homophobia, donald trump... the like 33. most visited website? idk man? maybe youtube? google? gmail? goodreads? pinterest? tumblr? actually scratch that it’s probably ao3 34. hair colour? blonde 35. long or short hair? so long people call me rapunzel (it’s not actually that long but idk) 36. do you have a crush on someone? yeah 37. what do you like about yourself? my intelligence? i guess. i made this positivity post once with ten things i like about myself but i forgot 38. piercings: none but i want some 39. blood type: i have no idea 40. nickname: my friends like to call me jar-jar because mesa clumsy xD 41. relationship status: single 42. zodiac: libra 43. pronouns: idgaf about gender and pronouns honestly, you can use whatever you want, my assigned pronouns are she/her 44. favourite tv show: in case anyone didn’t notice... i love skam :D 45. tattoos: none but i want some 46. right or left handed: right 47. surgery: i had my leg stitched once?

48. sport: i like watching it, but i don’t like playing. favourite: handball

49. vacation: like where i would like to go? india definitely

50. pair of trainers: uhh i don’t really have a preference?

More General:

51. eating: not currently eating anything but the last thing i ate was honey loops for breakfast 52. drinking: still water 53. im about to: try to make my edits for next three days of skammonth because i won’t have access to a computer these next few days 54. waiting for?: uhh nothing in particular? 55. want?: to travel around the world 56. get married?: yeah! did i mention i need to meet a nice not-straight girl 57. career?: i’d love to be a translator but translating doesn’t really have a future so teacher maybe? or i could work in the foreign office or something

Which is Better

58. hugs or kisses?: hugs 59. lips or eyes?: eyes? ~the window to the soul~ 60. shorter or taller?: i like to be the tol one 61. older or younger?: well age doesn’t matter as long as it’s not a big gap 62. nice arms or nice stomach?: ?? idc about either 63. hook up or relationship?: relationship! 64. troublemaker or hesitant?: a good mix of both preferably

Have You Ever

65. kissed a stranger: no 66. drank hard liquor: like vodka? yeah 67. lost glasses/contact lenses: ALL. THE. TIME. 68. turned someone down: hahaha nope 69. had sex on the first date: lololol no 70. broken someones heart: not that i know of? 71. had your heart broken: that sounds so dramatic? but yeah kinda 72. been arrested: nope 73. cried when someone died: no 74. fallen for a friend: more than once unfortunately

Do You Believe In:

75. yourself? uh i guess? kinda? 76. miracles? yes 77. love at first sight? no 78. santa claus? no 79. kiss on the first date? yeah 80. angels? yes

Other

81. current best friend’s name? sorry i only overshare about myself online 82. eye colour: blue 83. favourite movie: mhm i don’t really have one?

[romantic-barista]

For funsies for that ask anonymously or not ask: all of them

“For funsies”... fuck you lmao. j-just kidding.

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

- closed. 

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

- nope!

(3) Can You Whistle?

- yeah, but not like melodic whistling.

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

- Singing in the Rain by LOONA’s JinSoul.

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

- Orange! 

(6) Relationship Status.

- Complicated, to say the least currently.

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

- It is currently 72F/22C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

- No, just woke up DEAD tired.

(9) How Many Followers?

- Like, 65? I keep blocking people tho, since they’re bots.

(10) Zodiac Sign.

- Gemini! 

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

- Emerald.

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

- No, but I do have a face moisturizer with vitamins in it??

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

- Sometimes, depends on where I’m showering!

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

- Currently, NONE.

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

- “on November 24, 1950, he announced that the offensive would soon bring the war to an end” (Groupthink, Irving Janis 2nd edition) ... I have mostly books from my old classes, but this one was a gift from my grandfather since it’s on one of my favorite communication theories.

(16) Favourite Anime?

- ... hmm, I have a lot I really like but my all-time favs are Higurashi, Umineko, and Fate/Zero.

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

- I think... my best friend? Well, kinda. I cried messaging him?? Technically, my cats were actually physically there.

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

- Figures, wall scrolls, art prints, and plushies. 

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

- A “bragel” (breakfast bagel) at work. Cinnamon vanilla bagel, strawberry cream cheese, ham, and cheese. (haha, suck it Wil. I’ll eat my nasty bagel, you can’t stop me now lmao)

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

- I do, especially to embarrass my younger cousin Caleb.

(21) Favourite Animal?

- Sharks, cats, and jellyfish are my top three.

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

- No, I don’t really like watching all the events, but I do sometimes go and watch old ice skating videos.

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

- Lately, anywhere from 1AM to 5AM, since I’ve been talking to @xero-xenos until I fall asleep.

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

- Nope! Forgot to wash my face this morning, so no make up. 

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

-  I like swimming in both, but an ocean is more fun to relax at since you can sunbathe in the sand 

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

- @scribbledstars, @novice-heartbreaker, @weissrose and @shinobu-is-daijoubu are some of my favorites! 

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

- Bottled. I hate our tap water, it tastes like lead.

(28) What Makes You Happy?

- Compliments??? Idk, a lot does. Easier to list shit that doesn’t! 

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

- With, because studying gets boring.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

- Both, but I love cats a little bit more! 

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

-  Sunset Orange #FE4C40, Yellow-Orange #FFAE42, Jazzberry Jam #A50B5E, or Wild Strawberry #FF3399, honestly.

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

- Playstation, for sure. But my xbox one controller for steam is growing on me.

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

- Lake, it’s closer to swim in Lake Michigan lol.

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

- Not really, but I’m slightly superstitious. 

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

- It’s a white tank top with cat faces on it, lol.

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

- Yeah, my tongue is pretty flexible, too. I can do a clover!

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

- SPEND. What’s “saving money”?

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

- My rose gold phone, my Mary Kay face wash set, my little piggy that holds up my phone, Super Sonico... Sailor Moon stuff on my wall... the thing I keep my paystubs in, my cat’s little house, the little bin my controllers are in.. I like pink.

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

- I’m obsessed with K-pop, but that’s nothing new.

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

- Kinda? I went to a butterfly sanctuary and it landed on me!

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

- My interests are, for sure. But, I’m not sure about completely being influenced?

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

- I don’t anymore, but all my old dreams used to be recurring with timeskips/alternate timelines. 

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

- I’ve only gone on them like three times. Twice to go to Utah (round trip) and once to Hawaii and Japan (round trip). 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

- Once again, easier to ask me what movies haven’t made me cry. But, I’d say I cried at Time of Eve.

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

- Peanuts, for sure. 

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

- Hayley Kiyoko

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

- Sometimes?? Idk, I just like pasta!

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

- Hmm, yeah? 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

- Not unless it’s shaking the house or is really close.

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

- I used to really love writing, but I lost motivation for my stories. Hard to write once you can’t remember the dream you based it off of anymore. I still love to read, I’ve just not been able to find anything worth reading but my textbooks. 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

- Yeah. When I was younger, my aunt used to “yell at me” to turn it down on my headphones, though.

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

- Wrap presents, because I suck at carving pumpkins. Actually, when my step grandmother was newer to our family, she used to pay me to wrap everyone’s presents, including my own. 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

- I usually do my kpop playlist, but I changed to my EDM one right as I was answering this. Aerion - Stellar. 

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

- Summer, and I’m dying.

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

- WHITE RICE.

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

- cisgendered female.

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

- Coffee, but that’s because I’m a barista.

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

- Won’t until Thursday, sadly.

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

- Bisexual

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

- Honestly, I never make my bed unless someone’s coming over.

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

- I like bellossom, snivy, and chikorita. I love grass types.

(64) Favourite Social Media?

- ... Probably Tumblr, since I have a lot of friends on there.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

- People be making them too damn long.

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

- Yeah, I do.

(67) Are You A Virgin?

- By society’s standards, I would assume. Right? Virginity is whether or not I’ve “popped the cherry” right?

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

- organiX coconut milk shampoo & conditioner with an olive oil lite leave in conditioner.

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

- ... Depends on how crappy we’re talking. Honestly, as long as the toilet works, there are no bed bugs, and I can shower in the morning before I get the fuck outta there, then yeah. I’ll take the shitty room. 

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

- Yeah, I live with them.

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

- Jurassic World 2 or the next Avengers movie! 

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

- Which one?

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

- I always fucking say it, tbh. It’s a Maya Angelou quote. “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.” 

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

- Honestly... blue.

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

- I LOVED swinging, because it felt like I was gonna fly into the sky, but I was always afraid to jump off and hurt myself. I do still get excited, but that’s only because it’s the one thing I can play at the park with my niece that isn’t embarrassing lol..

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

- Bagel. 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

- Fate/Grand Order (JPN), Pokemon Go!, TETRIS, Classic Bejeweled, Heads Up!, and Pinball Breaker! 

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

- If I knew CPR, yes I would. Also, being homeless doesn’t mean someone should fucking die??? If anything, I’d make sure they have a safe place to sleep at night as well as give them CPR.

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

- Not yet today, but I do usually hit at least 5 hours on mine.

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

- Mhm. Used to stalk people who would talk shit about me.

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

- I do, especially lately since I need to make more friends & we are in dire need of new coworkers at my job.

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

- I’m not wearing any currently, but I do wear them. I usually wear the Kiki ring @xero-xenos gave me. 

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

- this is question number one, wtf is it doing here?

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

- Wake up, do headset at work, and open tumblr.

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

- Pajama pants or shorts, and a t-shirt. Sometimes a tank top, if I know my boobs won’t spill out of it.

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

- ... All... all of them? Okay, sigh. Mary Kay timewise moisturizer for combination skin, Mary Kay 3-in-1 timewise cleanser for combination skin, Mary Kay timewise day & night solution for combination skin, Kat Von D lock-it foundation, Mary Kay CC cream, tarte moisturizer/highlighter sampler, Loreal sampler make up remover, Loreal sample mascara, dollar store eye shadow, Better than Sex mascara, various lipsticks in the shade red or pink, pink highlighter from NYX (i think?), setting spray from Kat Von D... and a couple other items. I also have a couple sheet face masks and then a charcoal mask. I like make up a lot.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

- Night.

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

- Listed ones on my phone already. I can list ones on my console another time. I have three consoles, and that’s a lot of games.

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

- I had a dream like freshman year of highschool that my grandmother was a witch and that she was pretending to have Alzheimer’s so that nobody would kill her since she was wanted for something. I wore goth lolita in the dream and the “home” she was in was in New York, inside a Victorian style house. I almost wrote a book based off it, since it ended up that I had to walk through a mystic door in an alley. It’s a crazy ass dream, and I did write a story called “The Door” in high school.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

- My favorite sodas are Dr Pepper and Mtn Dew.

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

- Fireworks, some synth noises, and cat meows. I also like the sound of a zippo lighter. 

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

- Jeans for work, sweats at home.

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

- Gonna post a separate selfie

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

- Music.

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

- Cat behind my ear, hibiscus on one thigh, banner on the other that says “FIGHT LIKE A GIRL” and a half sleeve of roses and macarons (like, an Ib themed sleeve)

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

- Vinny (Vinesauce). 

[beauty-and-the-bookish]

First Up is a Q&A with Valerie Bowman!!!

Q&A with Valerie Bowman

1.    What is your favorite scene in Never Trust a Pirate? 

I truly do love the whole book but I think everything that happens after they get on the ship is especially fun. The book is sort of pre-ship and post-ship.

2.    What's your favorite underappreciated romance novel?

One of my favorite romances ever is Dark Future by KC Klein. It’s a futuristic scifi romance, which is not normally something I gravitate toward (I like to read historical romance!) but I picked up KC’s book and couldn’t put it down. It’s fantastic. She also has me reading contemporary cowboy stories.

 3.    Are you methodical in your writing, certain hours of the day, certain rituals you may perform before you sit down? Or are you one of those writers who binge write when the mood is upon you? 

I’m a binge writer, but it’s not about the mood striking so much as it’s about having more time to write on the weekend because I’m not at my day job.

 4.    Are there particular tropes you are fond of using? 

My favorite trope is probably reunited lovers or old friends who fall in love. I love the brother’s best friend trope, too. I’ve used all of those and am currently writing a story where a married couple (who haven’t seen each other in ten years) are forced to work together again. Of course hijinx (and romance) will ensue!

 5.    What lead you to writing historical romances? 

My love of reading them. I read them a lot as a teenager. They made me so happy.

 6.    How would you describe Never Trust a Pirate using only three words? Racy Regency Romp. That’s how I describe all of my books, actually.

 7.    What is your advice for other writers? 

Write! It’s simple. I see a lot of would-be writers taking classes and reading books about writing but the best thing to do is just write, write, write. Worry about the mechanics later. You do need to study craft and learn the business but you’ve got nothing to improve if you’re not actually writing.

 8.    Do you, or your publisher decide on your beautiful covers?

 If your publisher, do you have any input? My publisher makes the covers for the books and I love them. They send them to me for input but it’s usually quite minimal. They are gorgeous! I’m very lucky.

 9.    Why this setting and why pirates? 

Inquiring minds want to you, or me anyway. I unabashedly love pirates! I love to read stories about them and when I was a kid I wanted to be one. Of course I get horribly seasick and am about the least adventurous person you’d ever meet. Swashbuckling would stress me out. I guess that’s why I have to write about it instead.

 10. What do you do to relax, after a day of writing? And how, do you set your writing day in order to achieve your goal of a certain number of pages?

 My favorite way to relax is to take a nap. I should have been born in a country that embraces the concept of siesta. That’s where I belong. Ha! I don’t count pages so much as I count words. So if I have to get twenty thousand words (about ¼ of a novel) written in a weekend, I would need to write about 6,600 Friday night, 13,000 on Saturday, and 6,600 on Sunday. I have a day job so weekends are very important to me as far as hitting my word count goals.

 11. Another inquiring minds want to you, approximately, how long does it take you to write a full length novel?  How many books can you write in a year? 

It takes me about two months to actually write the novel (working mostly nights and weekends around my full-time job) but it takes months to plot and think about the novel which is why I only write two novels per year.

 12. Which     Hollywood stars would you like to see as the main characters in NEVER     TRUST A PIRATE?

 I actually have a Pinterest board set up with my idea of who all the main characters in the Playful Brides series look like. For Cade Cavendish and Danielle LaCrosse it’s Chris Pine and Zooey Deschanel. You can find the board at: https://www.pinterest.com/valeriegbowman/playfulbrides/.

13. Do you write full time? 

No and I actually have a theory that if I did write full-time I would get much less writing done. I think having to be so disciplined about my writing time forces me to focus. At least that’s what I tell myself.

14. Twitter or Facebook? 

Both!

 15. Favorite TV show? Of all time?

 Gilmore Girls. As for what’s on today, I love Homicide Hunter: Lt Joe Kenda. I’m a sucker for true crime.

 16. Who is your ultimate Book Boyfriend? 

My book boyfriend is Jason Fielding from Judith McNaught’s Once and Always. Talk about the perfect tortured hero!

17. What are you reading right now or what’s on your TBR? 

I’m currently reading Kerrigan Byrne’s, The Duke, and I can’t wait to dive into Anna Bennett’s, I Dared the Duke!

18. 2017 Movie you’re most looking forward to? 

I just saw a trailer for Dunkirk and I got goosebumps! I can’t wait. I love WWII-era history almost as much as the Regency.

19. Give us the “elevator pitch” for your new book. I call Never Trust a Pirate: The Scarlet Pimpernel meets Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in Regency England.

20. Series or stand alone? 

 If series do you already have a set number of books that you plan to write? Series. When I began to write the Playful Brides series, I planned three books. I’m happy to say it’s going to be eleven altogether, plus a novella. Plans change!

21. If you could change anything in your past, what would it be and why? 

And how do you think it has affected your writing. – From Judy at Long and Short Reviews, she says hi! Was in a writing group in FL that you spoke at! I would love to go back to my twenty-two year old self and tell her to start writing romance novels right away. Alas, I have no time machine. Frankly, I don’t think my twenty-two year old self had the confidence or the patience to do it. I think life unfolds the way it’s meant to in due time. (Hi Judy!)

22. What literary pilgrimages have you gone on? 

I’ve been to Bath and seen the Jane Austen museum there. Does that count?

23. What are your future project(s)? 

Right now, I’m editing book 8 in the Playful Brides series. It’s called The Right Kind of Rogue and comes out on Halloween. I’m also writing book 9 of the Playful Brides series. And I’m always plotting future books in my head. In this case I’ve already got a lot of ideas for how I’m going to end the series with book #11 (Delilah and Thomas’s book) in Spring 2019.

24. For novices who haven't read a novel of yours what is it that they will find unique in your work?

 I hope they will find a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously and is filled with humor and heart. Above all, I just want my stories to entertain. I’m not here to give anyone a history lesson. I just want readers to smile and sigh.

25. Do you find that you base any of your characters on people in your life? Have you gotten any inspiration for scenes in your novel from things that have happened to you in real life? 

The entire Playful Brides series was conceived based on my friend’s terrible boyfriend. She wouldn’t break up with him and I kept telling her to let me call him and break up with him for her (I was kidding, sorta). On a drive home from dinner with her one night, after she’d filled my ear yet again with a bunch of stories of the awful things he’d done (forgot her birthday, asked her to pay his cell phone bill), I started thinking how funny it would be if there was a service that you could call to break-up with your boyfriend for you. The opposite of Cyrano de Bergerac. I decided that would be great story and immediately began to think about how I could set it in the Regency. That was the idea for The Unexpected Duchess, the first story in the series.

26. Are there any books or authors that have really influenced you and made you want to write? What about those authors inspired or influenced you?

 Lisa Kleypas was a huge influence on me. I was snowed in at an airport in 2007 and picked up Scandal in Spring. Many hours later (I couldn’t put the book down) I considered giving romance writing a try. She is a brilliant writer and a lovely person both inside and out.

27. Have you read anything lately that you loved? 

Julie Anne Long’s The Legend of Lyon Redmond was sheer perfection if you ask me.

28. Do you usually work off of an outline while writing or do you tend to just start writing and see where the story takes you?

 I don’t have an outline per se, but I sketch out a few sentences for each chapter in my Word .doc so I know where the story is going. I’ve been working lately on making my stories more character driven so I may change this up a bit.

29. What other books or movies or music influenced this novel? 

As with all of the stories in my Playful Brides series, Never Trust a Pirate was inspired by a play. In this case it’s The Scarlet Pimpernel. I loved the concept of a character with dual identities.

  31. What advice do you have for pair wanting to get into the writing field? If you want to write romance, join Romance Writers of America (RWA.org). Hands down it was the best thing I did to learn how to write a romance novel. Leslie Wainger’s book, Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies, is also fantastic.

[anitabyars]

Q&A with Valerie Bowman 1. What is your favorite scene in Never Trust a Pirate? I truly do love the whole book but I think everything that happens after they get on the ship is especially fun. The book is sort of pre-ship and post-ship. 2. What's your favorite underappreciated romance novel? One of my favorite romances ever is Dark Future by KC Klein. It’s a futuristic scifi romance, which is not normally something I gravitate toward (I like to read historical romance!) but I picked up KC’s book and couldn’t put it down. It’s fantastic. She also has me reading contemporary cowboy stories. 3. Are you methodical in your writing, certain hours of the day, certain rituals you may perform before you sit down? Or are you one of those writers who binge write when the mood is upon you? I’m a binge writer, but it’s not about the mood striking so much as it’s about having more time to write on the weekend because I’m not at my day job. 4. Are there particular tropes you are fond of using? My favorite trope is probably reunited lovers or old friends who fall in love. I love the brother’s best friend trope, too. I’ve used all of those and am currently writing a story where a married couple (who haven’t seen each other in ten years) are forced to work together again. Of course hijinx (and romance) will ensue! 5. What lead you to writing historical romances? My love of reading them. I read them a lot as a teenager. They made me so happy. 6. How would you describe Never Trust a Pirate using only three words? Racy Regency Romp. That’s how I describe all of my books, actually. 7. What is your advice for other writers? Write! It’s simple. I see a lot of would-be writers taking classes and reading books about writing but the best thing to do is just write, write, write. Worry about the mechanics later. You do need to study craft and learn the business but you’ve got nothing to improve if you’re not actually writing. 8. Do you, or your publisher decide on your beautiful covers? If your publisher, do you have any input? My publisher makes the covers for the books and I love them. They send them to me for input but it’s usually quite minimal. They are gorgeous! I’m very lucky. 9. Why this setting and why pirates? Inquiring minds want to you, or me anyway. I unabashedly love pirates! I love to read stories about them and when I was a kid I wanted to be one. Of course I get horribly seasick and am about the least adventurous person you’d ever meet. Swashbuckling would stress me out. I guess that’s why I have to write about it instead. 10. What do you do to relax, after a day of writing? And how, do you set your writing day in order to achieve your goal of a certain number of pages? My favorite way to relax is to take a nap. I should have been born in a country that embraces the concept of siesta. That’s where I belong. Ha! I don’t count pages so much as I count words. So if I have to get twenty thousand words (about ¼ of a novel) written in a weekend, I would need to write about 6,600 Friday night, 13,000 on Saturday, and 6,600 on Sunday. I have a day job so weekends are very important to me as far as hitting my word count goals. 11. Another inquiring minds want to you, approximately, how long does it take you to write a full length novel? How many books can you write in a year? It takes me about two months to actually write the novel (working mostly nights and weekends around my full-time job) but it takes months to plot and think about the novel which is why I only write two novels per year. 12. Which Hollywood stars would you like to see as the main characters in NEVER TRUST A PIRATE? I actually have a Pinterest board set up with my idea of who all the main characters in the Playful Brides series look like. For Cade Cavendish and Danielle LaCrosse it’s Chris Pine and Zooey Deschanel. You can find the board at: https://www.pinterest.com/valeriegbowman/playfulbrides/. 13. Do you write fulltime? No and I actually have a theory that if I did write full-time I would get much less writing done. I think having to be so disciplined about my writing time forces me to focus. At least that’s what I tell myself. 14. Twitter or Facebook? Both! 15. Favorite TV show? Of all time? Gilmore Girls. As for what’s on today, I love Homicide Hunter: Lt Joe Kenda. I’m a sucker for true crime. 16. Who is your ultimate Book Boyfriend? My book boyfriend is Jason Fielding from Judith McNaught’s Once and Always. Talk about the perfect tortured hero! 17. What are you reading right now or what’s on your TBR? I’m currently reading Kerrigan Byrne’s, The Duke, and I can’t wait to dive into Anna Bennett’s, I Dared the Duke! 18. 2017 Movie you’re most looking forward to? I just saw a trailer for Dunkirk and I got goosebumps! I can’t wait. I love WWII-era history almost as much as the Regency. 19. Give us the “elevator pitch” for your new book. I call Never Trust a Pirate: The Scarlet Pimpernel meets Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in Regency England. 20. Series or stand alone? If series do you already have a set number of books that you plan to write? Series. When I began to write the Playful Brides series, I planned three books. I’m happy to say it’s going to be eleven altogether, plus a novella. Plans change! 21. If you could change anything in your past, what would it be and why? And how do you think it has affected your writing. – From Judy at Long and Short Reviews, she says hi! Was in a writing group in FL that you spoke at! I would love to go back to my twenty-two year old self and tell her to start writing romance novels right away. Alas, I have no time machine. Frankly, I don’t think my twenty-two year old self had the confidence or the patience to do it. I think life unfolds the way it’s meant to in due time. (Hi Judy!) 22. What literary pilgrimages have you gone on? I’ve been to Bath and seen the Jane Austen museum there. Does that count? 23. What are your future project(s)? Right now, I’m editing book 8 in the Playful Brides series. It’s called The Right Kind of Rogue and comes out on Halloween. I’m also writing book 9 of the Playful Brides series. And I’m always plotting future books in my head. In this case I’ve already got a lot of ideas for how I’m going to end the series with book #11 (Delilah and Thomas’s book) in Spring 2019. 24. For novices who haven't read a novel of yours what is it that they will find unique in your work? I hope they will find a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously and is filled with humor and heart. Above all, I just want my stories to entertain. I’m not here to give anyone a history lesson. I just want readers to smile and sigh. 25. Do you find that you base any of your characters on people in your life? Have you gotten any inspiration for scenes in your novel from things that have happened to you in real life? The entire Playful Brides series was conceived based on my friend’s terrible boyfriend. She wouldn’t break up with him and I kept telling her to let me call him and break up with him for her (I was kidding, sorta). On a drive home from dinner with her one night, after she’d filled my ear yet again with a bunch of stories of the awful things he’d done (forgot her birthday, asked her to pay his cell phone bill), I started thinking how funny it would be if there was a service that you could call to break-up with your boyfriend for you. The opposite of Cyrano de Bergerac. I decided that would be great story and immediately began to think about how I could set it in the Regency. That was the idea for The Unexpected Duchess, the first story in the series. 26. Are there any books or authors that have really influenced you and made you want to write? What about those authors inspired or influenced you? Lisa Kleypas was a huge influence on me. I was snowed in at an airport in 2007 and picked up Scandal in Spring. Many hours later (I couldn’t put the book down) I considered giving romance writing a try. She is a brilliant writer and a lovely person both inside and out. 27. Have you read anything lately that you loved? Julie Anne Long’s The Legend of Lyon Redmond was sheer perfection if you ask me. 28. Do you usually work off of an outline while writing or do you tend to just start writing and see where the story takes you? I don’t have an outline per se, but I sketch out a few sentences for each chapter in my Word .doc so I know where the story is going. I’ve been working lately on making my stories more character driven so I may change this up a bit. 29. Where did you get the inspiration for your main characters? 30. What other books or movies or music influenced this novel? As with all of the stories in my Playful Brides series, Never Trust a Pirate was inspired by a play. In this case it’s The Scarlet Pimpernel. I loved the concept of a character with dual identities. 31. What advice do you have for pair wanting to get into the writing field? If you want to write romance, join Romance Writers of America (RWA.org). Hands down it was the best thing I did to learn how to write a romance novel. Leslie Wainger’s book, Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies, is also fantastic. Author Bio: Valerie Bowman grew up in Illinois with six sisters (she’s number seven) and a huge supply of historical romance novels. After a cold and snowy stint earning a degree in English with a minor in history at Smith College, she moved to Florida the first chance she got. Valerie now lives in Jacksonville with her family including her mini-schnauzer, Huckleberry. When she’s not writing, she keeps busy reading, traveling, or vacillating between watching crazy reality TV and PBS. She is the author of the Secret Brides series, starting with Secrets of a Wedding Night, Secrets of a Runaway Bride, and Secrets of a Scandalous Marriage.

[vaguevillainy]

92 Truths

The Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag! (or just tag your pals or idk)

Tagged by @meru-chanx3, thanks~ Also, happy belated birthday!

LAST

[1] drink: Water

[2] phone call: GrabCar driver

[3] text message: A friend

[4] song you listened to: Revelations by Audioslave. I’m currently in the midst of re-tagging my music library.

[5] time you cried: When I watched a vid about kids giving a message to their moms. I cry because of the moms’ expressions, they look so happy and relieved that their kids aren’t hating them.

HAVE YOU EVER

[6] dated someone twice? Never even dated

[7] been cheated on? Never

[8] kissed someone and regretted it? Does my brother count?

[9] lost someone special? No

[10] been depressed? I don’t know the exact signs of depression, but I’ve suffered a lot...

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up? No

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 

[12] Black

[13] Any dark shades

[14] Teal

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

[15] made new friends? Yeah, I guess.

[16] fallen out of love? No

[17] laughed until you cried? I don’t recall

[18] found out someone was talking about you? In a bad way? No, that’d be a living nightmare.

[19] met someone who changed you? How about a Japanese poet who’s been dead for years?

[20] found out who your true friends are? Yes

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list? Uh... no.

GENERAL

[22] How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? About 85%, the rest are friends of friends. (For no reason they asked to be friends on the site.)

[23] Do you have any pets? Yes, a problematic Chihuahua mix.

[24] Do you want to change your name? My real name’s unique but a bit weird. I’d like to have another name for public use, but I guess it doesn’t work that way. It works for the internet, though. Hooray!

[25] What did you do for your last birthday? Nothing. It happened in the middle of my exams and everyone’s busy. I prefer it that way, actually.

[26] What time did you wake up? 5 AM on most days

[27] What were you doing at midnight last night? Editing e-book metadatas on Calibre. It’s nearly midnight again now!

[28] Name something you cannot wait for: GRADUATION

[29] When was the last time you saw your mother? A few minutes ago.

[30] What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? I was given my personal laptop recently and I gotta admit I wished it’d be something more recently released. Should’ve given more input on it.

[31] What are you listening to right now? Somewhere in Neverland by All Time Low

[32] Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Maybe. I never know the names of some people I talk to.

[33] Something that is getting on your nerves: People getting hate but not realizing why or stupidly ignoring the signs.

[34] Most visited website: Tumblr

[35] Elementary: Does anyone have to know? I’m pretty sure most won’t recognize the name anyway.

[36] High school: Same for this one

[37] College: Not yet

[38] Hair color: Brownish black

[39] Long or short hair? Medium

[40] Do you have a crush on someone? No, unless you count famous irl people or fictional characters gosh I’m a complete otaku aren’t I

[41] What do you like about yourself? I have no capacity to remember people’s mistakes, so I don’t hold grudges. I’m generally socially acceptable.

[42] Piercings: None

[43] Blood type: O

[44] Nickname: Sasha (from my real name)

[45] Relationship status: Single

[46] Zodiac sign: Pisces

[47] Pronouns: She/her

[48] Favorite TV show: Not watching anything recently... T_T

[49] Tattoos: None

[50] Right or left handed? Right

[51] Surgery: Never

[52] Piercings: As stated before, none

[53] Best friend: When it comes down to it, @unearthlyzebras <3

[54] Sport: I do whatever I have to do in PE. I enjoy volleyball and basic floor exercises.

[55] Vacation: Nowhere abroad

[56] Pair of trainers: I have a pair of running shoes issued by my school and a pair of black-and-white(?) Sketchers for casual wear.

RIGHT NOW

[57] Eating: Just finished my apples and pears

[58] Drinking: Nothing, I even forgot to bring my tumbler with me

[59] About to: Try to write again

[60] Listening to: Player switched to My World by Avril Lavigne. (Yep, still stuck in ‘A’.)

[61] Waiting for: Repeated question?? Spider-Man Homecoming and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

[62] Want: A lot of petty things. Let’s just say books.

[63] Get married: Slow down, man.

[64] Career: Overworked student, studying to save my grades a better future.

WHICH IS BETTER

[65] hugs or kisses? Hugs

[66] lips or eyes? Lips

[67] shorter or taller? Oh, wait, we’re taking about preffered s/o types? Uhm... taller.

[68] older or younger? Close to my age, maybe.

[69] romantic or spontaneous? Can I opt for ‘noob’ to match me?

[70] nice arms or nice stomach? Just someone lean.

[71] sensitive or loud? Sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship? Relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant? Hesitant, to counter my spontaneity.

HAVE YOU EVER

[74] kissed a stranger? NOPE

[75] drank hard liquor? What is hard liquor? Like, what’s the difference?

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? No

[77] turned someone down? No

[78] sex on first date? W h a t

[79] broken someone’s heart? Hopefully no

[80] had your own heart broken? Probably, considering the state I’m in now.

[81] been arrested? No

[82] cried when someone died? No (Oh, heartless me.)

[83] fallen for a friend? No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

[84] yourself? Kinda

[85] miracles? Yes, but they don’t happen to me.

[86] love at first sight? Yes. Again, not applicable to me.

[87] Santa Claus? No

[88] kiss on the first date? Yes; not applicable to me.

[89] angels? Yes, the Biblical kind.

OTHER

[90] Current best friend’s name: I call her Rin.

[91] Eye colour: Brown

[92] Favourite movie: Hard to pick one. I love Marvel movies and indie horror.

I tag @unearthlyzebras, @perplexedgecko, and @stephagustin. Sorry for always bothering you guys!

[dailyofficereadings]

Daily Office Readings September 24, 2019

Psalm 78

Psalm 78

God’s Goodness and Israel’s Ingratitude

A Maskil of Asaph.

1 Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth. 2 I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, 3 things that we have heard and known, that our ancestors have told us. 4 We will not hide them from their children; we will tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.

5 He established a decree in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach to their children; 6 that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and rise up and tell them to their children, 7 so that they should set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; 8 and that they should not be like their ancestors, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.

9 The Ephraimites, armed with[a] the bow, turned back on the day of battle. 10 They did not keep God’s covenant, but refused to walk according to his law. 11 They forgot what he had done, and the miracles that he had shown them. 12 In the sight of their ancestors he worked marvels in the land of Egypt, in the fields of Zoan. 13 He divided the sea and let them pass through it, and made the waters stand like a heap. 14 In the daytime he led them with a cloud, and all night long with a fiery light. 15 He split rocks open in the wilderness, and gave them drink abundantly as from the deep. 16 He made streams come out of the rock, and caused waters to flow down like rivers.

17 Yet they sinned still more against him, rebelling against the Most High in the desert. 18 They tested God in their heart by demanding the food they craved. 19 They spoke against God, saying, “Can God spread a table in the wilderness? 20 Even though he struck the rock so that water gushed out and torrents overflowed, can he also give bread, or provide meat for his people?”

21 Therefore, when the Lord heard, he was full of rage; a fire was kindled against Jacob, his anger mounted against Israel, 22 because they had no faith in God, and did not trust his saving power. 23 Yet he commanded the skies above, and opened the doors of heaven; 24 he rained down on them manna to eat, and gave them the grain of heaven. 25 Mortals ate of the bread of angels; he sent them food in abundance. 26 He caused the east wind to blow in the heavens, and by his power he led out the south wind; 27 he rained flesh upon them like dust, winged birds like the sand of the seas; 28 he let them fall within their camp, all around their dwellings. 29 And they ate and were well filled, for he gave them what they craved. 30 But before they had satisfied their craving, while the food was still in their mouths, 31 the anger of God rose against them and he killed the strongest of them, and laid low the flower of Israel.

32 In spite of all this they still sinned; they did not believe in his wonders. 33 So he made their days vanish like a breath, and their years in terror. 34 When he killed them, they sought for him; they repented and sought God earnestly. 35 They remembered that God was their rock, the Most High God their redeemer. 36 But they flattered him with their mouths; they lied to him with their tongues. 37 Their heart was not steadfast toward him; they were not true to his covenant. 38 Yet he, being compassionate, forgave their iniquity, and did not destroy them; often he restrained his anger, and did not stir up all his wrath. 39 He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and does not come again. 40 How often they rebelled against him in the wilderness and grieved him in the desert! 41 They tested God again and again, and provoked the Holy One of Israel. 42 They did not keep in mind his power, or the day when he redeemed them from the foe; 43 when he displayed his signs in Egypt, and his miracles in the fields of Zoan. 44 He turned their rivers to blood, so that they could not drink of their streams. 45 He sent among them swarms of flies, which devoured them, and frogs, which destroyed them. 46 He gave their crops to the caterpillar, and the fruit of their labor to the locust. 47 He destroyed their vines with hail, and their sycamores with frost. 48 He gave over their cattle to the hail, and their flocks to thunderbolts. 49 He let loose on them his fierce anger, wrath, indignation, and distress, a company of destroying angels. 50 He made a path for his anger; he did not spare them from death, but gave their lives over to the plague. 51 He struck all the firstborn in Egypt, the first issue of their strength in the tents of Ham. 52 Then he led out his people like sheep, and guided them in the wilderness like a flock. 53 He led them in safety, so that they were not afraid; but the sea overwhelmed their enemies. 54 And he brought them to his holy hill, to the mountain that his right hand had won. 55 He drove out nations before them; he apportioned them for a possession and settled the tribes of Israel in their tents.

56 Yet they tested the Most High God, and rebelled against him. They did not observe his decrees, 57 but turned away and were faithless like their ancestors; they twisted like a treacherous bow. 58 For they provoked him to anger with their high places; they moved him to jealousy with their idols. 59 When God heard, he was full of wrath, and he utterly rejected Israel. 60 He abandoned his dwelling at Shiloh, the tent where he dwelt among mortals, 61 and delivered his power to captivity, his glory to the hand of the foe. 62 He gave his people to the sword, and vented his wrath on his heritage. 63 Fire devoured their young men, and their girls had no marriage song. 64 Their priests fell by the sword, and their widows made no lamentation. 65��Then the Lord awoke as from sleep, like a warrior shouting because of wine. 66 He put his adversaries to rout; he put them to everlasting disgrace.

67 He rejected the tent of Joseph, he did not choose the tribe of Ephraim; 68 but he chose the tribe of Judah, Mount Zion, which he loves. 69 He built his sanctuary like the high heavens, like the earth, which he has founded forever. 70 He chose his servant David, and took him from the sheepfolds; 71 from tending the nursing ewes he brought him to be the shepherd of his people Jacob, of Israel, his inheritance. 72 With upright heart he tended them, and guided them with skillful hand.

Footnotes:

Psalm 78:9 Heb armed with shooting

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

2 Kings 5:19-27

19 He said to him, “Go in peace.”

Gehazi’s Greed

But when Naaman had gone from him a short distance, 20 Gehazi, the servant of Elisha the man of God, thought, “My master has let that Aramean Naaman off too lightly by not accepting from him what he offered. As the Lord lives, I will run after him and get something out of him.” 21 So Gehazi went after Naaman. When Naaman saw someone running after him, he jumped down from the chariot to meet him and said, “Is everything all right?” 22 He replied, “Yes, but my master has sent me to say, ‘Two members of a company of prophets[a] have just come to me from the hill country of Ephraim; please give them a talent of silver and two changes of clothing.’” 23 Naaman said, “Please accept two talents.” He urged him, and tied up two talents of silver in two bags, with two changes of clothing, and gave them to two of his servants, who carried them in front of Gehazi.[b] 24 When he came to the citadel, he took the bags[c] from them, and stored them inside; he dismissed the men, and they left.

25 He went in and stood before his master; and Elisha said to him, “Where have you been, Gehazi?” He answered, “Your servant has not gone anywhere at all.” 26 But he said to him, “Did I not go with you in spirit when someone left his chariot to meet you? Is this a time to accept money and to accept clothing, olive orchards and vineyards, sheep and oxen, and male and female slaves? 27 Therefore the leprosy[d] of Naaman shall cling to you, and to your descendants forever.” So he left his presence leprous,[e] as white as snow.

Footnotes:

2 Kings 5:22 Heb sons of the prophets

2 Kings 5:23 Heb him

2 Kings 5:24 Heb lacks the bags

2 Kings 5:27 A term for several skin diseases; precise meaning uncertain

2 Kings 5:27 A term for several skin diseases; precise meaning uncertain

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

1 Corinthians 5:1-8

Sexual Immorality Defiles the Church

5 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not found even among pagans; for a man is living with his father’s wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Should you not rather have mourned, so that he who has done this would have been removed from among you?

3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present I have already pronounced judgment 4 in the name of the Lord Jesus on the man who has done such a thing.[a] When you are assembled, and my spirit is present with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 you are to hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.[b]

6 Your boasting is not a good thing. Do you not know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? 7 Clean out the old yeast so that you may be a new batch, as you really are unleavened. For our paschal lamb, Christ, has been sacrificed. 8 Therefore, let us celebrate the festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

Footnotes:

1 Corinthians 5:4 Or on the man who has done such a thing in the name of the Lord Jesus

1 Corinthians 5:5 Other ancient authorities add Jesus

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Matthew 5:27-37

Concerning Adultery

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.[a] 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.[b]

Concerning Divorce

31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Concerning Oaths

33 “Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.’ 34 But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.[c]

Footnotes:

Matthew 5:29 Gk Gehenna

Matthew 5:30 Gk Gehenna

Matthew 5:37 Or evil

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.