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Quick Game Reviews: Games I played 2019

Hey All! We’re doing this again. Just a quick run down/impression of every game I played in 2019 (not necessarily released this year), and whether or not I recommend it and how much.

I don’t really do much creatively now a days. Or at all really so this is just a thing I’ll do.

Let’s get going; there are 55 individual items on this list this year, and 2 of them are trilogies, and then there’s Pokemon in there too, so you know there’s a rant coming! That’s a lot of ground to cover.

... I forgot how to do the tumblr bars that I use to separate sections so it’s just gonna be one big thing separated by just pictures instead after this keep reading split. There’s a lot of games.

Sonic Forces [Steam]

Coming off of Sonic Mania, this certainly served as a wake-up call as to what the Sonic franchise currently is, and how important it is that you have designers that know how to use the mechanics they’re building. It’s not “Bad”, but a lot of parts of it are. Modern Sonic stages are short but fun, the avatar stages had potential but fell short when they focused on the more tedious aspects of combat while platforming, which made the Avatar + Sonic stages a midway point between “Eh” and “Eugh”. Classic Sonic stages were just straight up really bad; They feel weird to play and don’t have any flow going to them whatsoever, which is really bizarre given they had the Sonic Mania team and didn’t work with them to build good levels, and how Sonic Generations at least understood parts of what made Classic Sonic good.

Not a terrible Sonic experience, but an incredibly skippable one at best. Play Colors and Mania instead.

Gizmo [Steam]

Gizmo is a “Prototype” of a 3D platformer that never came to be. As their steam store page suggests, they really love the genre and there’s a lot they wanted to do with it, but they realized that it was out of their scope so they packaged up the level they had and released it for free on steam. Honestly, it’s a really good start and I had a lot of fun with the one level they made; I really wish they could’ve made the full game but absolutely massive props for releasing what they did.

It’s free, like 3D platformers in any regard? Try it.

Suzy Cube [Steam]

Another 3D platformer, but this one’s in the vein of Super Mario 3D Land. Actually... It really IS Super Mario 3D Land in most ways. Definitely not a bad thing; if you’re going to emulate another platformer SM3DL is a good way to go, but that’ basically the experience here; SM3DL but with simpler design and controls, a little floatier as well. Levels are linear but there’s some good stuff in there, though the bosses are very repetitive and do take their sweet time near the end.

Like SM3DL? I Did, and this is more of that, so go ahead

Octopath Traveler: Wayfarer’s Edition [Switch]

I spent a few hours on this and only got to 3/8 characters (this is very little into the game). I can see a JRPG fan loving this, but to me the few mechanics they did introduce where definitely interesting in battle, but were a bit overwhelming and disparate outside of it. This isn’t bad; they definitely mostly allow for different interactions between you, the world, the NPCs and all those interacting with each individual character uniquely, but I wasn’t really in a mood to piece together a great, well-fleshed-out world.

JRPG fans will like it, and while I’m not one of them I can see there’s a lot to like here

The Marvellous Miss Take [Steam]

A Stealth game where you wander the halls of various galleries (levels) and try and steal all your art back without getting caught, as one of I believe 3 different characters (I only got two). Again, I’m a bit out of my element here. I’m not a huge fan of stealth games, as one mistake usually means tossing the whole experience out, but honestly this is a very well stylized, neat take on it so it’s some fun for sure.

A fun romp for Stealth fans, and there’s a lot of missions and variations to take on.

Donut County [Steam]

Donut County is a game not unlike Katamari Damacy where you gather objects to get larger to gather larger objects. Where it varies however is that each level is a linear “puzzle” where you try and figure out how your hole interacts with the environment and what order you need to make things fall in it. It’s a fun experience, but missing any sort of replay-ability or nuance, so the Katamari comparison really ends after the immediate premise. That being said, it’s funny, well-stylized, and a nice little time. The interactions you have with the various elements on screen and the whole are interesting and make for some interesting puzzles and funny situations, but it can’t or at least doesn’t really go very deep with it.

A fun, quirky indie experience. Worth a shot if you want a charming, funny game to have a short but interesting time with.

Ittle Dew 2 [Switch eShop]

Ittle Dew 2 is an incredibly good Zelda-like. Like, very incredibly good. There’s a whole lot to explore, there’s tons of secrets, every part of it oozes charm and character. There’s tons to do and get, and there’s absolutely no shortage of difficulty. There’s even a whole lot of super-secret, incredibly difficult content that ranges from “Oh that was nice to stumble on” to nightmare-inducing monsters in hidden dream worlds accessible only via looking it up or remembering every detail you stumble on and piecing together a series of steps that rival ARGs. That being said, it’s satisfying just to beat alone without going that hard, but man, finding the rest is a whole new experience.

I can’t recommend this enough. This is an excellent, well-made adaptation on the top-down adventure model

Nippon Marathon [Steam]

This is an interesting little game, but for me it fell very short. It’s definitely a better multiplayer experience than single, but it stands on it’s premise: you’re a character running an incredibly bizarre race as if you’re in a Japanese gameshow. It’s funny and weird, and honestly not a bad premise... but for me, it fell on it’s face when you finally figure out how everything works, and suddenly you realize how incosistant and random parts of the games that shouldn’t be are. Platforming is weird, CPUs range from obnoxious to completely useless, and the story itself loves to put like 5-9 cut-scenes between actual gameplay.

Fun with Friends, but only very shortly. I’d just recommend Mario Party honestly.

Super Dungeon Boy [Steam]

This is a pretty standard, level based indie pixel platformer. You can decide whether or not to use checkpoints, when to activate them, and find quite a bit of secrets. Honestly, it’s not bad, but it doesn’t really do anything particularly interesting and I found it overstaying its welcome near the end.

It’s not bad, but you’re better off with some more notable Indie 2D platformers.

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy [Steam]

As a big fan of classic 3D platformers, it was a crime that I never got into Crash back in the day. I did try and get through the original Crash on an emulator years later, but honestly I’m glad I waited for this. This trilogy faithfully recreates the original 3 crash platformers, for better or for worse. I loved playing through Crash 1; It’s playstyle is a product of its time, but it’s still really fun and has a lot of secrets. Crash 2 expands on that, adding even more levels and secrets while keeping the core gameplay the same. Crash 3... Did the thing that a lot of series of the time liked doing: focusing on minigames rather than the actual platforming. 2/5 levels in each of the worlds were normal levels, the rest were underwater, auto-runners, races, etc. Additionally, 1 clearly got the most love, 2 did a pretty good job, but 3 was less polished overall. Looks like they ran through the games and were running short on time near the end, and the Spyro trilogy sees this too. It’s a shame, but I digress.

Worth the purchase for classic-lovers, but parts of it needs to be enjoyed with that time of game design in mind as well; There are a few unintuitive secrets and minigames that don’t hold up in the modern age.

Grapple Force Rena [Steam]

So I’m a big fan of GalaxyTrail, the indie company behind this game and Freedom Planet because of how good the latter was. Before Sonic Mania, I would’ve called Freedom Planet the best 2D Sonic game. It’s a great experience that gets its core gameplay and is genuinely a fun time, but has moments where it falls on its face before picking itself up again. Notably Boss fights and Story in FP were pretty jarring against the rest of the gameplay (Boss fights could get PAINFULLY hard, story meandered and got weird). Overall I was excited to play another game from them.

Grapple Force Rena has similar problems with it’s Boss fights being pretty bleh, it’s story being quite bizarre (but not bad, just weird), but with it’s gameplay being pretty good still. Not FP good, but good. I’m thinking this is just something the designers need to work through; Bosses doing things off-screen and being unpredictable is a common theme, but their level-design is really good so I’m still looking forward to their future work.

Another 2D Indie-platformer with a fun gimmick, good for a nice time if you’re in the mood for it.

Deep Rock Galactic [Steam]

You and some friends pick one of 4 up-gradable, customizable mining classes and launch onto an alien planet infested by bugs to complete various mining objectives, usually mining a certain amount of special minerals or destroying specific bug targets. The mines are procedurally generated which is neat, and the humor’s pretty funny, but at the time it could get pretty repetitive.

You can also get overwhelmed really fast if you’re not careful, but honestly like Left 4 Dead that has it’s own charm in some ways. It’s all about who you play with. I wouldn’t be opposed to revisiting this one day if/when it has enough content.

It’s a lot of fun with friends, but you may get bored of it after a few missions and you run into the same patterns and environments in the randomizer.

Wargroove [Steam]

This was an attempt to try and get into the strategy genre again for me. It’s definitely a charming, well-polished game, but I found after a couple levels its slower pace and more strategic elements (literally the point of the game) just wasn’t for me (I’m very bad at strategy games (dumb)). There’s definitely a lot here for those who are into the genre, but I have a feeling with how much buzz was generated over this the people who would like it know they would.

A well-made take on Advance Wars and grid tactics games, but definitely not for me

Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing [Steam]

I picked this up because I remembered how fun its sequel was, that the sequel to that is coming out this year (later in this very post), and that I never beat it on the 360. Definitely a fun game in its own right, and you can see how well it was expanded on in the sequel, but it also has a variety of its own issues. Mainly, Super Monkey Ball stages are geometric, really bad levels, and there’s a pretty small amount of levels overall. Overall though, the challenge mode is a lot of fun and this would be a fun multiplayer racing game.

Also doesn’t run/upscale well on modern PC, so make of that what you will. Overall this didn’t age well; maybe on console where it runs without PC variables messing with things, but this in and of itself was Sega’s first, admittedly very good, step into the kart-racing genre.

It’s great, but just get the sequel, Transformed. It does everything better, rivaling Mario Kart 8 and beating it in some areas even.

Risk of Rain 2 [Steam]

I played this when it first “entered” Early Access, so it’s probably an even better experience now. It’s a good time running around, learning each character and power-up, and figuring out how everything interacts for sure, but it can also get very frustrating very quickly. additionally once you start looping it gets pretty dull; you’ve basically seen everything the game has to offer after your second loop. This is a pretty common problem for a lotta proc gen games though. It’s a fun 3D combat romp with interesting ways of expressing variety, but I’d wait until it gets more content if it hasn’t already

Yoshi’s Crafted World [Switch]

This game gets a lot of praise, and honestly I can see why. It’s the essential 2D Yoshi experience with a cute theme and a whole lot of things to do and collect. I definitely enjoyed my time with it, but I found myself burned out about halfway through. It was very strange.

Levels each try and have one new mechanic in them, and the play with the foreground, background, flipping levels and all that is neat, but together it just kind equates to more sub-areas than really anything effective there. Additionally the styling is somewhat inconsistent (Why are some characters like Piranha plants and shy guys just kinda normal when everything is made of crafts? How come the Yoshis are just fuzzy yoshis, is that supposed to be felt?), and even some of the color tones hurt my eyes during extended play. That being said, while I preferred Wooly World, this really is a great 2D Yoshi experience and worth a pick-up. I believe it even has a demo.

Sea of Thieves [Windows 10 Store, Gamepass]

Gamepass was a buck for 3 months so I gave this a pick-up with some buds. I really enjoyed my experience with it; the random sea monster fights were really intimidating (at first) the quests they added in the update this year were pretty entertaining, and PvP can sometimes be fun.

... But then you get a game where you spend the entire 5 hour session fighting with a group of griefers who only want to sink your ship and then find you again when you respawn, meaning you get 0 gold for it. They needed a lot more variety for combat and sea monsters as well. Megaladons were scary at first, but eventually they just turn into a nuisance, and the Kraken is pretty vanilla as well. All in all, it’s a fun experience with a group of 3 friends who are into it as well, but the lack of goals and directions can turn you off pretty quick if you can’t make your own fun of it.

Snake Pass [Windows 10 Store, Gamepass]

This one is honestly pretty fun and I didn’t give it enough time at the... time? Good words C, doesn’t matter only King’s reading at this point. Hi King.

Anyway, the game controls surprisingly well once you get the hang of it. Oh I should explain it. Hey this is a game where you control the head of a snake and then use the rest of it to grip onto ropes, platforms, sticks, vines, etc. to traverse a level. It’s pretty fun, and there are a lot of collectibles to keep you busy too. Again I didn’t finish it, but it definitely seemed pretty doable and didn’t overstay its welcome. I’d give this a hearty recommendation overall, but the controls very much make it not for everyone.

Team Sonic Racing [Steam]

I’m gonna be contrasting this one with the next one, Crash Team Racing, quite a bit here. First though, after S&SASR:T (nice acronym), my hopes were high on another racing game from these guys, especially one that narrowed its focus down to just Sonic since that would allow it do depth instead of breadth. In some ways I got what I wanted; mechanically the team stuff is really fun and interesting, and the racing itself holds very well. Thematically just using wisps for items is also pretty good... but...

The roster, level, and car variety kinda suck. There are only 4-5 teams, some of them don’t make any sense, and with Sonic’s gigantic roster that’s a crime. They did the small roster in order to have unlockable parts (I believe it was 30 per car?), but honestly that just allows you to min-max or play what character you want without actually playing different styles. Half the levels are re-used, and the single-player mode is really not much better than the first game in the series. That being said, it’s a shame they didn’t go hard on the roster and marketing, because this game shines with how much better it plays than most other Kart racers and how deep the team mechanics can go. I really want to recommend this one, but since there’s no competitive community and the online is dead, I really can’t say it’s even better than the last game in the franchise, which is better for a casual dip into because it’s best mechanics are pretty surface level and quick to get.

Crash Team Racing Nitro Fueled [Switch]

This game has the opposite problem than the last one: way too much characters variety, not enough depth. I get that this is a remake, and that they had to stay faithful in some regards, but to me this just didn’t age well at all. it feels stiff, you can get screwed over at the wrong time and throw the whole race, the challenges can be very unforgiving for that reason, and holy funk the loading times. I averaged 40 second load times on the Switch, and yeah it’s not the most powerful console in all existence, but that’s just gross. They did an update that improved it a little after I had finished playing but I have no interest in going back.

This is faithful, colorful remake as far as I can tell, so if it’s for you you already have it and likely love it. As a modern day kart racer, building off what the genre’s learned for the past 20 years? Mario Kart 8 and Sonic Transformed blow it out of the water.

Super Mario Maker 2 [Switch]

How many games are left- oh jeez I’m not even halfway done. Why did I save this all for the end of the year.

Super Mario Maker 2 improves on the original in almost everyway, with the exception being that the online is still pretty not good and you should be able to download and edit other peoples levels. The Single-Player campaign is a very welcome addition, I’m not a huge fan of the 3D world style but it’s there and okay, and multiplayer can be fun. When it works. Very rarely.

The lack of amiibo costumes also kinda sucks, but honestly with how much content there already is and how well they supported the last game, this game really should’ve been something I revisited constantly. However due to my own personal “journey” (personal character traits that are generally negative and get in the way of me actually doing and enjoying things), the creative spark I had that made me really want to create and share levels just isn’t there, so this fell off my radar pretty fast after several frustrating moments both making and playing.

It’s still a fantastic game, and I would heartily recommend it. But don’t go into it expecting modern day QoL online features..

Earth Defense Force 5 [Steam]

Fight giant ants, Frogs, aliens, and God. Get all sorts of crazy, hilarious weapons and robots.Play with friends for best experience. 10/10

Basically the same exact game as the last one, and they changed the song you sing to be worse. 1/10

Look it up on Youtube and you’ll know basically immediately if this is the game for you. It’s obscenely long and repetitive, think Hyrule warriors level of repeating content, so if you’re not into it, you’ll never even beat one run.

Evoland Legendary Edition [Steam]

This is a cute idea that’s done relatively well. You go through the whole game “unlocking” very basic features which match up with the general progression of adventure -> RPGs through the years, getting more and more complex as the game goes on. It’s nice, it’s funny, it doesn’t try to be to intense or in some cases polished (and indeed that’s the point sometimes).

It’s not really anything groundbreaking, but I had a smile on my face as I went through it so if it’s on sale and you want some nostalgia based humor, you can’t go wrong with this one.

Minit [Steam]

This was one I was expecting to be a short, rather bland idea that I would think “Oh, that’s cute” and then walk away from. And I mean it was, but it was also surprisingly well done and polished, which is odd to say about a 2-color game where the gimmick is dying a lot.

It’s true though; you pick up the cursed sword and from then on it’s a classic top-down adventure game ala Zelda where you have 60 seconds (one minute) to do something in the world to progress. This can range from moving an obstacle, finding a new item, setting a new spawn point, or just learning something new. It’s pretty fun and very clever. Honestly a really fun little adventure. Again, short but very sweet, and there’s a lot of replayability for secrets and speedruns if you’re into that

OKAMI HD [Steam]

I’ve always heard great things about this game, and honestly I can see it. But like... it felt like 45 minutes of cutscenes back to back before the game even starts, and after that it is not afraid to stop you even more to explain. I get it’s an older game, and I’d probably have really liked it back in the day on the DS, but oof, this could’ve used some modernization. It’s a pretty game, but I couldn’t get very far. It definitely tells more than it shows, and I don’t have that much patience, but there’s definitely an audience for it so I’d use someone else’s recommendation to determine whether or not you want to pick this up

Speebot [Steam]

I have a lotta platformers on my list this year. This is another puzzle platformer, you play as a little robot and try to get to the end of each winding level. Some have powerups like an umbrealla that lets you go further, a jet pack to jump higher, etc. Each level has a collectible or something along those lines, and honestly it’s not a bad game by any stretch.

But with all the other platformers I’ve played, and with the weird angle this one sticks to it’s hard for me to recommend, especially when you hit the “final” level and find out there’s a lot more game but you can’t beat that level until you go back and find everything. Again; not a bad game, but you can do far better in this genre.

Dr Mario World [Android]

I really wanted to like this game because I like Dr. Mario, but man they did a whole lot wrong. For starters: gacha needs to die. It’s gambling in Mario, so focused on kids. even its advertisements were very kid focused, so they should feel ashamed of themselves for that. They only kinda get away with it because the gacha does incredibly little past getting a slight advantage in Multiplayer vs, but we’ll get to that.

The story mode starts out fine. Pills move up, you need to clear all the viruses in the set amount of turns, your score is determined by your combos & pills remaining, etc. That part’s not bad until you get later in the game when you realize oh, some of the viruses are random, and so are your pill colors, so sometimes you just lose a level and that’s it. Getting all the stars on a single level later in the game turns into spending all your stamina and hoping for good stuff and luck on your character’s abilities getting proc’d, which since most of them are useless that doesn’t happen often. That’s when this feels more like a cheap puzzling phone game than it does a well-tested, polished experience like what I typically think of with Dr. Mario. So it doesn’t at all feel like a Dr.Mario game despite trying really hard to be, and with how hard games on mobile already pretend to be Nintendo games, it feels like one of the cheap knock-offs.

Multiplayer vs is a little better in feeling like Dr. Mario, but WAY WORSE when it comes to luck and character choice. Each character has an attack (how many rows you send over to the other side) and defense (How likely your character will block rows sent over). Winning strat is to go HARD on defense (best you can do is ~75% chance of defense without more buffs iirc), or go full glass cannon and win fast. Peach for example can buff up to 76%, maybe even 80% with the right gacha rolls, which allows you to more or less consistently rely on your own skill for clearing the board. But she’ll only send over one row at a time, where say Bowser can send over 4. Sure, odds are he’ll miss, but he’s going to try several times and it only takes one landed shot to kill you. If you clear all your viruses, 3 more rows appear for each player, but if it’s time with an attack, hey look, 7 rows and whatever pills were floating are now landed, so you just immediately lost.

This is a bad game, and not even a Dr. Mario experience. Skip it; you can do better on mobile in this genre, or just pay for a game that’s worth your time.

Slap City [Steam]

So I’ve not played much of this, in fact I got it recommended by a coworker, but this guy is a comp melee player and said this game slaps. that was really funny C so it’s a 2D platform fighter filled with wacky characters from the studio who brought you Ittle Dew 2 (which you should play) and Princess Remedy (Which is free, and you can also play). It’s unique in that it knows it’s ridiculous, and it doesn’t have characters that feel like smash bros character clones. It’s physics are pretty interesting too, so I can say This is like smash bros, but in its own unique way, and you should give it a go if you’re itching for smash you can play on PC

Pokemon Masters [Android]

Another cruddy gacha game! This time with your favorite pokemon characters who are finally given personality that the games themselves never did well enough because GameFreak can’t do story. Is that unecessarily harsh on Gamefreak? Maybe, but maybe they should make better games that are actually better games! Anyway, this one isn’t made directly by Gamefreak and I’m letting my anticipation of reviewing Shield spoil this one.

So when this was first announced I thought it was going to pair with pokemon Home, and be the “Battle Frontier/ Stadium” that would constantly be updated and supported along with the mainline games, as well as add new interesting challenges and challengers while allowing each individual character and battle type to shine.

What it ended up being was a gambling simulator that you can grind the same 3 missions for weeks and weeks to level up your duos enough beat the main story. Like, I’ll give them credit for not doing stamina and actually writing the characters, and the core gameplay isn’t bad, but don’t waste your time with this; it certainly loves doing so for the sake of convincing you to drop more money on it to get it to stop.

Dragon Quest Builders 2 [Switch]

Surprise hit this year. Honestly massive props to King, who is again the only one reading this so Hi King, for recommending me this for my long flights to and from CA this year. I played it for weeks afterwards, and even wanted to 100% it. It’s like what if you took minecraft but actually made it so your villagers were people with personality who had lives and could maintain and use all your rooms, which could be given specific purposes. Why yes, this is a kitchen that you can use in conjunction with a dining room to make a restaurant supplied by the storage room filled with crops from the nearby farm you don’t even need to maintain after you set everything up!

My only complaint with this is you can hit the villager cap very quickly, and that the story can overstay it’s welcome (it was like 60 hours for me). It’s on Steam now, and I suspect modders will help out with those complaints though, so now they just need to add switch save cross-play and JEEZ people need to get this game so we could all build a massive self-sustaining utopia. Get the Steam version because it’ll eventually allow you to mod out the restrictions, but to me this is Minecraft but better in every way. i can’t recommend this enough in that regard.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna, The Golden Country [Switch]

So last year I had problems recommending Xenoblade II- wait was it last year or the year before? Doesn’t matter; I still do, but I finally decided to give this game DLC/Prequel a go. To my surprise it’s... in the same boat, but for different reasons. Let me explain:

I want to recommend XBCII for the plot, but I can’t because it’s so heavy in fanservice, anime tropes, and genuinely bad jokes and writing that the parts I want to focus on are undermined, and the parts I want to say are so bad it’s good are as well. This prequel I want to recommend because the plot sets up weird elements and makes the main game make more sense, but one of the main characters’ motivations still make no sense with their actions in the next game and you really do need to have played the original to get it. I will say, the ending of the prequel’s tone sets up and contrasts really nicely with the tone throughout the original. Also Rex is a complete idio-

I want to recommend XBCII for the combat, but it doesn’t work until you get 85% the way through, which is 60 hours of your time that I can’t ask of you if I can’t even play games for an hour when they frontload their tutorials. This prequel has better, more streamlined combat, but in someways it removes aspects of the combo system that really brought the original together (at the end), and the only super amazing fight is the final battle, which is again a long ask.

The Prequel definitely improves the QOL, getting rid of the gacha blade system for set party members, and really doesn’t waste your time there, but it’s also lacking in its world in that you only explore 3 titans, half of one isn’t present, but I don’t know what I expected with DLC.

Anyway, play this if you enjoyed Xenoblade Chronicles II, but as a standalone or intro into it, it’s another difficult recommendation for me to give.

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening [Switch]

Remember on WiiU when games that were remakes were priced less than the $60 asking price, even though they added a fair amount of content? I miss that.

Anyway, it’s Link’s Awakening that’s been heavily stylized and has a number of QOL improvements. It looks very pretty and plays well (drops frames a lot though which is strange), but it doesn’t add much other than a dungeon maker mode which doesn’t work online and is incredibly bland and limited, as well as a hero mode which is pretty straightforward there; just a hard difficulty with some knobs turned to make it so.

Link’s Awakening DX is available right now to buy on the 3DS eshop for like $6, and is a very close experience. I can’t say the graphics, QOL improvements, and single very underwhelming feature addition justify a $60 price tag. If it ever goes on sale for $30, sure, but it’s Zelda so don’t hold your breath.

Bomber Bother [Steam]

TRANS RIGHTS. ARE HU-MAN, RIGHTS

clap clap

Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair [Switch eShop]

This is a very interesting, well-designed game from the 3D overworld to almost every 2D level that was clearly lovingly crafted that I would heartily recommend...

HOWEVER. It has one major flaw: It’s first and “final” level, The Impossible Lair, and that’s it’s premise.

It is incredibly unforgiving (I get that’s the point), very unfair (Again, I get that’s the point) and you’re supposed to lose it. A lot. And when you do, the villain who cheated laughs in your face and plants a big EPIC FAIL stamp on screen. You know; disparaging the player for doing exactly what they’re supposed to do.

The main crux is that you once the game kills you and decides that was your fault, you run through many actually good levels that change depending on the 3D environment around them that you can manipulate to unlock additional hits to take into the impossible lair. Problem is even after you get all 48 hits, you’ll find that one mistake can cost you several hits at once. Because the level is garbage and incredibly unfair. This aint the Dark Souls of platformer levels; this is the incredibly hard Mario Maker level with a 0.000001% clear rating because it dropped thwomps on you out of no where near the end of the level. Only throughout the level. With changing physics and underwater sections.

You get the point. If you can stomach playing an incredibly bad level, which unfortunately was the main draw of the game, the rest is a very solid Donkey Kong Country style platformer. But also: Tropical Freeze exists on Switch right now, and while it doesn’t have the 3D overworld gimmick, it doesn’t have that bad level problem either, sooooooooooooooooo weigh those options.

Ring Fit Adventure [Switch]

This was a surprising announcement and release, and not just because the premise was crazy and weird, but that it was actually by itself a good game. You run through a world using the Joy Con strapped to your leg and jump, blast, and manipulate air using the ring, which is actually pretty good at reading your inputs, as well as putting up enough resistance to put up a work out. The RPG mechanics itself are pretty straight-forward, but they work for doing reps and working up a sweat.

I can’t speak for how good this is at losing weight; I have a terrible track record with exercise which always kills it no more than 2 weeks in, and every review I’ve seen (not that many admittedly) says it’s good for working up a sweat and they didn’t gain weight, but they also didn’t see any loss. That being said, I’m sure this pairs excellently with diet and is fun in it’s own right. It’s a surprisingly great, charming game all by itself, and a good way to keep in motion, but don’t expect it to work miracles on it’s own.

Mario Kart Tour [Android]

This is the most Pay-to-win, exploitative, disgusting gambling game aimed at kids using a beloved franchise video game I’ve ever seen. Do not buy this, and if anything actively encourage Nintendo to do better.

Well, that was easy.

....

So I guess justifying that, fine whatever. Each course has a small number (sometimes only one of each) of characters, karts, and gliders that are in focus, and without the right ones in the second half of each “tour” you won’t be able to get enough stars to get the gifts in the tour, which allow you to play the gacha for the EXTREMELY LIMITED characters in focus for at most 2 weeks, usually only one. Additionally you get a pitiful amount of rubies (rolling currency) each tour anyway.

You can do some challenges on the side for more stars, but it’s calculated in such a way that you absolutely must do those challenges to get enough stars to get all the gifts anyway, and half of those require specific characters as well. Often times the characters which are on sale in the weekly $20-$40 character packs, which is disgusting. Also, rolling the same character/kart/glider (we’ll say items now) increases the “Skill” of that item, which maxes out at a level of 6. Now that doesn’t mean 6 duplicates will max it out and you won’t roll them again; each skill level requires more and more dupes to complete. For rare characters which you have to pay over $200 to guarantee you’ll roll, you’ll need to do it at least 10 times.

Sad about how little rubies you’re getting? Excellent news! The bonuses other games usually give out to get you to keep playing are locked behind a subscription service. for only $4.99 a month, you can play a free-to-play game that actually wants to hook you on paying for the gacha. Since it’s a much better experience when it actually wants to care about your existence (now that you’ve proven you have a credit card and are willing to drop money on this game), you’ll be duped into going on forums and explaining how actually the subscription pass is an amazing deal! Praise Nintendo, as you spend $60 in a year for a version of Mario Kart that doesn’t play well, is completely random, and doesn’t reward you for skill as much as it does taking your money.

Do not even download it. This will be a case study in the future when we review how developers used the psychology of sunk cost and addiction to sell virtual items to the masses using brands they trusted.

Evoland 2 [Steam]

So whereas the first game was just a quirky little game that was having fun with a gimmick, this game appears to be an actual, fleshed out JRPG with some puzzley, platformer elements thrown in. Which is cool, and I don’t necessarily mind. There’s still some charm going on with the style changing and the mechanics of traveling through time in both the mechanics and the story.

But it’s a very different game in tone and execution. It’s for sure not a bad experience, but a more traditional JRPG one, which I wasn’t in the mood for when I picked this one up

Spyro Reignited Trilogy [Steam]

This has a lotta similar beats to the Crash Trilogy: The first game is well-done, the second is even better, but the third one is a little less polished and the presence of minigames is... disappointing. That being said, I liked this one a whole lot better than Crash. The music is fantastic, The level design for the most part is really well done, It’s got it’s own style and charm, and the gameplay itself holds up surprisingly well. Unlike the Crash Trilogy, I actually was very happy to 100% all three games. Whether you’re new to classic Spyro or want to relive it, it holds up very well in this trilogy. Protip: you can just delete the movie files for the startup logos and intro to immediately get into the game menu.

That being said, in some aspects they were a little TOO faithful. All the characters existing in multiple places at once and feeling really stilted wasn’t really needed and they could’ve done better there. The skateboarding minigame is buggy and awful as all hell, I would’ve liked to have seen the speedway courses more fleshed out, and honestly I think it would’ve been cool to see a new level or two just to show that the developers can match the magic.

I mean that’s the point of these, right? To gauge the interest in re-introducing classic Spyro formula for future games? And not just a cash grab working of nostalgia for those sweet sweet moneybags?

Anyway, Activision making you sign a 42 page disclaimer before playing single player games is pure nonsense, what is that abou-

Luigi’s Mansion 3 [Switch]

This game is really good. I was a little worried after Dark Moon that it’d be incredibly linear, and to be fair... It kind of is. But in a good way, where you can explore a bit as you go through, and even revisit past areas with the knowledge gained from future floors for goodies, and honestly at this point we know I’m a sucker for collectathons so yeah.

Gameplay-wise it build on Dark moon’s mechanics while adding a few clever ones of its own. It’s incredibly well done and Next Level Games really made a gigantic effort to make each character express themselves in their own way, even if they were clearly somewhat limited for like Peach or Mario (Kinda weird how they seem to express themselves via their Spin-off like out bursts of “yahoo” and “Oh my” but that’s nitpicky af). The game is packed with secrets and is really funny and clever about them, as well as containing subtle nods to not just things present in the original but also how the original was structured for the longtime fans of the series. As a single player game, it’s a genuinely great time.

As a multiplayer game? It’s pretty good too. Scarescraper was a fun mode in Dark Moon and I’m glad to see it back, and for a few rounds it’s genuinely a fun time. Like all Proc Gen games though, you start to get a feel for what happens where and it becomes pretty easy to complete each floor and even carry teams which otherwise wouldn’t have succeeded. In that way, I’m both a little happy the Multiplayer will be getting DLC to add more variety, and dissappointed that it wasn’t there in the first place since right now Scarescraper is a carbon copy of how it was in Dark Moon. But I mean, it’s fun and they didn’t have to do it, so it’s definitely still worth a play.

Basically this is the best Luigi’s Mansion experience, and a must-have on switch. Next Level Games is a wonderful studio, and I’m happy to see them knock this out of the park.

If only that 3DS remake of the original was on switch instead tho

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games: Tokyo 2020 [Switch]

It’s really weird how this series plays out. It’s a pretty fun game in it’s own right, but what doesn’t make sense to me is their character choice. Clearly this is a fanservice series; Mario & Sonic characters duking it out in a friendly setting where nothing really matters to either franchise, and a little story that provides historical info about the olympics at the same time. It’s fun, for sure, but why does it limit some characters to just single events? Fan favorites like Diddy, Rouge, Rosalina, and Espio (and boring characters like the koopalings or the deadly six) really don’t have a reason to be limited in such a way, especially when they were used in previous games, so why do it? It’s quite strange.

Additionally the game could use a lot of QoL updates, none of which should be new. It’s essentially a mini-game compilation, and a lot of them are a lot more complicated while only being like 2 tries long, so being able to easily shift between them would be nice. Or at least have clearer explanations as to how to play or what each character does.

That being said, the classic style games are pretty fun, and the events are also pretty good once you get the hang of them so it’s a fun experience worth trying with some friends casually if you’re into that.

Human: Fall Flat [Steam]

So this one’s an old one, but so are a few others on this list so it’s fine. This is one of those games where the controls being wacky and strange with the physics is the draw. Again, normally don’t go for this, and I’m sure I’d get over it very quickly in single player. Multiplayer though? Incredibly fun. Highly recommend this with a couple friends and the steam workshop for some wacky skins for a fun evening.

Tiny Barbarian DX [Steam]

I dunno what possessed me to play this one. It’s another indie retro-styled platformer, and this one specifically seems to be structured like Ghosts and Goblins. It’s pretty difficult, but not overwhelmingly so. That being said I didn’t get very far, so take my experience with the first level with a grain of salt; it looks like it gets pretty tough later in the game.

It’s another indie 2D platformer that doesn’t really do much other than be difficult and have some basic combat mechanics. Not bad, but not really noteworthy there either.

Untitled Goose Game [Switch eShop]

This game stands really hard on its premise, which is completely fine because the premise of living out being an asshole goose is an amazing one and all power to it for doing it. You feel like an asshole goose every step of the way, including when you can pointlessly flap out your wings to look like a bigger asshole, which mechanically does absolutely nothing.

The puzzles are clever, though a few of them take a bit too much waiting or setup for my tastes. It certainly is an enjoyable time, and it doesn’t overstay its welcome being only a couple hours long at most. It does offer speedrunning challenges and secret tasks however, similar in replayability to Journey so that’s going for it as well. God I love Journey.

Anyway, you know about this game already, if you laughed at its premise you’ll like it.

Fighties [Steam]

I didn’t spend very long with this one, but I think I still get it. It’s a Platform fighter with 1-hit-to-kill, each of the MANY characters (very few of which are available at the start) have their own gimmick. It’s like towerfall, but less polished and with a ton more character variety, but since it doesn’t do a great job of explaining it and there’s more complexity in an otherwise simple game. It’s a simple concept, but it’s done way better in games like Towerfall.

New Super Lucky’s Tale [Switch eShop]

All the platformers on this list. So this is from my understanding the best version of this game, the original being a VR game for Xbox. Going into it I knew this was a game that was basically an intro for newer/younger players into 3D collecting platformers, but I was pleasantly surprised by how incredibly polished it is. Everything feels really good to play, and there are a few moments when the gameplay is like “eh, not so sure about that”, the marble levels and auto runners specifically, but everything else is so good I have to say this is an absolutely wonderful experience.

For those who have played 3D platformers before, yeah this game is pretty easy. But it’s never really boring though, something other games have an issue with if they’re too straightforward. Finding the collectibles never really blows you away in challenge, but still feels rewarding, and at the end of the game there’s a whole section similar to Champion’s road that puts everything you’ve learned to the test in some particularly challenging levels, with a really tough collectible to find in each. It’s not groundbreaking, but it’s a very well done platformer in its own right and worth a pickup for those who love that formula, or those who haven’t been exposed to it somehow.

They do try a little hard with the plot at the end though with an avengers style ending and that was a little corny. It’s fine tho.

Pokemon Shield [Switch eShop]

Here it is peeps. The big ol rant. The part where I call this game a gigantic pile of trash.

Like the picture, get it, it’s garbador but really big. because this game is garbag-

So I’ve already ranted for what feels like 9 long essays about this on twitter so I’ll sum up as best as I can here. Or at least shorten it. This game is by far the worst in the franchise, and here are my points:

This game is the shortest in the franchise, ranging at most 21 hours to beat the story, pretty bad for a Pokemon game let alone a JRPG

There are only 10 routes, all of which are linear and there are no “dungeons” like Team rocket hideouts, winding caves with multiple floors and interlocking paths.

The Gym challenge is the whole game. The antagonists whole plotline is introduced and then resolved just before the champion’s fight at the end in under an hour, again with no “dungeon” or build-up

Characters will often times tell you about all the interesting things they’re doing when you’re not around, stuff that in previous games you would be doing, before telling you to go back and just worry about the gym challenge. The most egregious of which is when Leon’s like “WHAT’S THAT COMMOTION OVER THERE!?”, runs off screen <fade to black pointlessly>, you go follow him through the next load zone just off screen, and are presented with a newspaper article of Leon defeating a Dynamaxed pokemon by himself right before where you’re standing and had to walk through anyway. The game is littered with similar moments, from Sonia putting together what happened in the past, to Hop beating you to the end of every route.

Only 3 legends, only 2 of which you can catch and doing so is mandatory

Battle tower is pathetic

Despite being on a cartridge that is MANY TIMES larger on a system that can save data orders of magnitude faster, you still have the same amount of pokemon storage space as previous games. Worse, they made no effort to make the UX of navigating the PC better and searching still doesn’t work like a search should

The wild area feels like an Early Access concept that wasn’t fleshed out properly, There’s nothing to discover other than Pokemon soulessly wandering around at most 20 feet away from you due to draw distance

The UX, and really the whole formula hasn’t changed at all, and fights take obscenely long because GF seems to think they’re developing for a Gameboy game still and animations and each individual line of text need to occur painstakingly slowly one after the other

Gigantamaxing, arguably the most interesting part of the game, is OBSCENELY rare to get specific pokemon for, and is honestly a post-game thing. It took me longer to roll a GMax Hatterene than it did to get 3 shinies. Having no way to G-max the pokemon you already have the adventure with is completely counter to the series’ core

Taking out all the online functionality they’ve had since gen 4 (a gen that had way more content), just to sell it back to you in a phone app that won’t be out for another half a year is a crime. The existing functionality, which requires a subscription already to use and doesn’t even properly work is a pathetic joke when the DS games had this solved first try in 2006 without a subscription

GF still doesn’t know how to make characters behave like humans, doing the classic turn in place, play same animation, talk, turn in place, animation, talk, walk off screen, fade to black because we can’t even unload characters properly thing

The intro to Pokemon cutscene, Hop’s in battle dialog, Piers singing, and many of the cutscenes with Leon all feel like they need to be voice acted. But aren’t, for whatever reason, which feels INCREDIBLY tacky and something I’d expect from a unity indie company

This game has less content overall than the first Pokemon games on the 3DS, and is arguably less polshed than the GBA ones in terms of their actual gameplay

All of this, and it’s clear that it’s a rushed, unfinished 3DS game. Only you get the privilege of paying $60 for it instead of $40, $120 if you want both versions which is a whole nother rabbit hole of “How are they getting away with this crap”

Notice: I didn’t mention Dexit once. That’s because the premise for the backlash is set on only being able to transfer pokemon that are already in the game, but I feel like I need to point out something people seem to miss, surprisingly? ... Pokemon Home isn’t out. It won’t be for 3 more months. Meaning you can’t transfer your Pokemon at all. This game isn’t even feature complete, and given that it’s one of Nintendo’s flagship franchises and isn’t supported by the cloud save feature, which again you need to have a subscription for to play a lot of the main features of this game, is another kick in the face from GF. Pokemon Home, or some sort of Switch-compatible storage system, should’ve been ready when LGPE launched last year and available to NSO subscription owners as a substitute for their inability to save progress. The fact that we have to wait until March to pay for another separate form to store Kilobytes of data on top of the subscription and insane markup on the base game is exploiting the franchise even more.

This is the worst game in the franchise, the most expensive game in the franchise, the most barebones game in the franchise, one of the buggiest games in the franchise, and the game in the franchise that cares the least about your time or previous experiences with it. I would say skip it, but it’s already sold way more than it has any right to, which is why I bought it as well. TPC and GF know this will always sell, so why put in the effort to top themselves with the highest grossing media franchise of all time. The sunk cost fallacy has my over 20 years of collecting hostage, get out while you can.

Halo The Masterchief Collection: Halo Reach [Steam]

This is unfortunately another game that serves as an example as to why I struggle with Multiplayer games. I’m unfortunately so far behind my friends that I consistently land bottom of the board, and there’s only so many times that happens before playing the game jut feels bad for me. That eing said, there’s a lot to like about this game in that aspect so I can’t hold it back because of my own personal struggles.

As for the campaign, it definitely feels like a game from it’s time, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I had fun with it, though i can’t say I’d do it alone or grind it out. It feels rather short, and I guess Reach isn’t a good starter point; just canonically the first in the series. It’s it’s own FPS experience and it’s unique in its own ways, so it’s worth a shot to try it out f you’re unsure where you are. But it’s also Halo, Xbox’s flagship title, so you probably also already know if it’s for you.

Sonic Forces: Speed Battle (Android)

So the mobile games this year aren’t reviewing well, and with my trek back to CA for the holidays I thought I’d give this one a go. It plays a lot like Sonic Dash; you auto-run forward, collect rings and power-ups, however this time there are a large variety of characters with different attacks to choose from. And you’re fighting other players. It’s pretty neat.

Monetization wise, it’s technically gacha, but not intentionally. You get character by getting enough of their “cards” to unlock them, and you get their cards via either random in-game chests which you unlock by playing/waiting (or watching ads), or you can buy packs that just flat out have the cards you need. The only “Gacha” in there is by technicality, you can buy red rings (premium currency) to buy the chests you normally find quicker, but those won’t have special characters usually. I like this model a lot better; If you want to pay money for a special character, you can just buy the character. If you want to play free, you’re not at any disadvantage because limited characters aren’t in a gambling banner, you do quests to get there cards.

That being said, after you play for a couple days it loses most of its charm. There are a lot of characters, but their abilities are near-identical, just with some bonus flair that has more minor effects. After playing 50 30-second ish matches, you get the picture and there’s not a whole lot of strategy left. There’s potential here, and the monetization model is definitely a lot friendlier, but overall it’s a pretty bland experience once you understand the core gameplay.

So when is that chao garden mobile game that ties into new sonic games gonna come ou-

The World Ends With You: Final Remix (Switch)

This is one I’ve been meaning to play for a long, LONG time but was never in the mood to get started on it. I knew it was a JRPG with really quirky plot & mechanics and a cult following, and boy do I need to be in the mood for that in order to actually get through them. They have a huge tendency to offload a crapton at the front and I’m very easily turned off by that, unfortunately.

As I was here, again, unfortunately. I can see why people like it, but I gave it a couple hours, argued with the controls, got frustrated with the puzzles (getting stumped on the puzzle in the screen shot for 20 minutes before backtracking and realizing the game locked the solution I already knew behind an NPC I had already talked to was not great) and decided it was a “try again another day” sorta thing. I did this to Xenoblade Chronicles as well, and now I can’t recommend it enough and automatically buy every game in that franchise, so it’s no dig on this. I don’t have any valid opinion on this yet.

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz HD (Switch)

I don’t think I like Super Monkey Ball everyone! The first 3 worlds were fine, world 4 was starting to show some nonsense, and then world 5 and 6 had me going full “THAT WAS GARBAGE, I WAS ROBBED.” Cobalt Caverns has 2 levels specifically where it’s a straight crapshoot whether it works or not, and given that there are 6 playable characters one of those levels is straight impossible if you pick the wrong one.

I mean it’s fully possible that I “Don’t get it” of course. That the level that flings your character through a course at super speed that you have very little input in, which ejects your ball at random is in fact deterministic and possible with every character. That the course where you cross a winding downhill tightrope that doesn’t have the checkerboard pattern so you can’t see it tilts enough to make light characters fall off every time is in fact really clever.

But I don’t have the patience for it. Granted, I know Monkey ball is an arcadey, high-score experience and not one where you just go through the levels once and have a reasonable expectation of being able to complete them with relative, linear ease. But it just rubbed me the wrong way. I imagine if you know you’ll like Monkey Ball’s replayability, you’ll love this, but if you’re unsure then I’d say it’s not a game for the impatient.

Kero Blaster (Steam)

This is one that I’ve been meaning to pick up for a long, LONG time. Cave Story is probably one of the most important indie games out there, it was a ton of fun, and with recent resurfacing of Nicalis hate for doing Pixel dirty on the rights to the game and its characters, I figured now was a good time to try it. Especially since I liked its demo, Pink Hour, well enough last year.

It’s... Fine, for sure. nothing particularly wrong with it, but nothing really great about it either. I was okay with my time with it, and it felt like cave story. But it lacked a lot of the secrets, unlockables, story, etc. and the shop system really wasn’t as fun a system to replace it. That being said, it’s clearly supposed to be replayed since you unlock the first achievement and a new, harder mode after you beat the final boss, so there’s more there for sure. It’s a short, well-contained experience with some secrets to replay for, but overall nothing truly ground breaking. But you should be getting this to support Pixel rather than buying another version of Cave Story he won’t even get money for. And then Play Cave Story right now as well anyway, because Pixel still has it up on his site available for free.

Brawler 64 (N64 Controller)

So I know it’s not a controller, but all my N64 controllers are trashed and I needed it to actually play some games so I’m just gonna review them here. These controllers are nice. I’ve always wondered why it was so difficult to find really good N64 replacement controllers that were designed sensibly so a human with two hands could actually use it. And that’s what this is! pretty neat.

Aesthetically they nailed the look; mix of grey and then the classic N64 colored see-through plastic, which is a controller look I miss but I understand not wanting to show internals now that they have moving parts. Buttons all are sensibly placed and it feels comfortable to hold. Only two gripes I have with the controller:

1. It feels really light, and a a result the handles feel a bit cheap. I feel like a hard enough grip could crack it, though I’m not sure that’s the case and I’d have no reason to grip that hard anyway

2. the trigger buttons (Z-button replacement) is analog despite being a digital input on the original controller. This makes no sense; I love a good analog shoulder button, but since the Z-Button is only digital, it would be way more satisfying and responsive to just have it clearly click to indicate the button’s being pressed.

Despite that, these controllers fix the main gripes with the original N64 controller and will probably last me a very, very long time. I’d recommend them as a good replacement

Pummel Party (Steam)

So this is a very “violent” but property generic version of Mario Party available on Steam, up to 8 players and compatible with online. Honestly, I only played one game but it’s pretty fun! I’m not sure how it evolves as you learn more mechanics; Mario Party can vary wildly in how that happens with sometimes it being a good thing to know the advanced mechanics and sometimes it revealing the flaws underneath and making it unfun past the first couple games, or with people who don’t.

But this was fun. Lots of weird items, they clearly tried to do something differently and balance out some stuff with the death mechanics. Some of the controls for the minigames are ehhhhh (should devote to encouraging a keyboard and mouse OR controller, rather than middling between them) and we saw a few repeats in a 25 turn game which was surprising, but we may have been unlucky. Definitely pick it up with some friends if you had a need for Online Mario Party

Gato Roboto (Steam)

God this game is adorable. It’s a super fun, condensed Metroidvania adventure that’ll run you under 3 hours, but it’s well made and look great, even with its 2-tone color scheme everything looks clear and pretty. Sound effects are great too.

The experience itself isn’t particularly ground breaking, but it wasn’t trying to be so that’s fine. I managed to find all the pick-ups, and not once was I like “Oh god, it’s a miracle I found that” or “I never would’ve guess this did that.” Everything was clear, it was crisp, and it was fun. Plus it’s got nice support for speedrunning; I was almost tempted but that’d be a fun reason to stream and I can’t have fun so that’s off the table. I highly recommend it; it’s just a short but seat and well-made Metroid game and sometimes that’s hard to come by without other new mechanics getting in the way.

Momodora III (Steam)

Got this one in just under the wire (hours before 2020). There’s a lot of small indie platformers on this list too.

So if you’ve played the much more, erm, advertised sequel, this game is a lot less metroidy and a lot more linear. You can go back and discovere secrets, but there’s not a lot (as far as I can tell), and it gets pretty tough in places. Even still though, I got 87.5% in under an hour and 5 minutes and beat the final boss (there’s seemingly a secret one tho).

So gameplay wise it’s fun, it’s pretty solid, and it has a few moments where you’re just like “Oh, that enemy throws instant death bombs, so uh, don’t die.” Overall though a quality experience, a lot of replayability if you love the first playthrough as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Best Game I played in 2019: Ittle Dew 2

This one was a bit tough here, so I’mma have an honorable mention section that’s basically equivalent. But this game takes the Zelda formula and polishes it while still being quirky and its own thing, then takes it WAY further with all the secrets, bonuses, power-ups, and dear got the nightmares you find. If you’ve ever enjoyed any Zelda game, ittle Dew 2 is a must-play for you as far as I’m concerned.

Best Game that Actually Came out in 2019: Luigi’s Mansion 3

This one’s easy. Next Level Games put so much polish and charm into the franchise while putting a lot of wit and depth into each room on the hotel. It’s not without flaws, but it more than makes up for them by being it’s own thing while building off both the previous two Games

Honorable Mentions: Dragon Quest Builder’s 2 & Spyro Reignited Trilogy

For just being like, great goddam games. Seriously; DQB2 kinda blows minecraft out of the water if only it had less town limitations and multiplayer server support. And Spyro aged pretty well with this trilogy, so I can’t not love it being a 3D platformer collectathon enthusiast.

Honorable Mentions That Are Quick but Great Experiences You Should Play: Gizmo, Minit, & Gato Roboto

I find I like short, simple experiences a lot more these days. These are that; well-made games that are far from overstaying there welcome definitely worth a go if you have a few bucks (or free I guess since Gizmo is a free unrealized demo) and an hour or two you just want to enjoy.

Also, Bomber Bother’s just really funny and free and spawned from a great cause so like why not.

...

And that’s all! One day I’ll actually like make a good game, or do something interesting, or leave Texas! Or any number of things other than typing out my opinion online that nobody even asked for for that sick dopamine rush.

mmmmm

C ya!

#game impressions

0 notes

evanvanness · 5 years ago

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Week in Ethereum News, Dec 22, 2019 annotated edition

Regular Week in Ethereum News for December 22, 2019. This is the annotated version.

I’ll probably do a few more of these, as I think any experiment needs to get to a certain number of trials before evaluation. But the response last week was less than overwhelming. Of course it doesn’t help that the second annotated issue will be on Christmas Eve for most of the world, which will probably put the third issue on NYE.

This was a packed edition, and I have a feeling the annotated version will be long too!

Eth1

Update your clients for the Muir Glacier hard fork in early January

Nethermind v1.3.8 significantly better peer connections stability, can now sync a full node in a few hours. They also have a Beam Sync prototype

Parity v2.6.7beta and v2.5.12stable. ready for Muir Glacier

EthereumJS VM v4.1.2 supports Muir Glacier

Notes from the latest eth1 very long-term sustainability call on the path forward to stateless Ethereum

How to sync an Ethereum node over TOR

New version of BlockchainsLLC/Slockit’s Incubed light client now also supports TOR

Is state growing faster with block gaslimit of 10m? Seems like it, but inconclusive.

Ethereum on ARM update: run a full node on Raspberry Pi 4, NanoPC-T4, and RockPro64 boards

The stürm und drang of this week was the Muir Glacier hard fork. Let’s discuss:

Eric Conner first noticed that the bomb was going off awhile ago. It’s true; no one noticed until he did. This is mildly embarrassing for Ethereum, but not a big deal. In a decentralized ecosystem, everyone else assumed someone else was watching. And the risk is very little, because the worst case scenario is exactly what happened: the bomb went off, block times slowed down the tiniest bit, we do a hard fork to fix it.

After Eric noticed, It was decided that this should go into a separate fork instead of the upcoming Istanbul fork, because Istanbul-ready clients were already out and core devs want to make sure everyone has lots of time to update nodes. [This is a mistake in my view, because nodes always get updated - something we saw when we had just a few days to get everyone to update their nodes in Constantinople and it went off just fine. And by the way, the perpetual “oh no, not enough nodes have updated X days out from the fork” is good for headlines and clicks, but almost always a very overblown story.]

So they set a date which was supposed to be Jan 6. It’s not easy to predict how the bomb (”difficulty adjustment”) will interact with the amount of hash power, especially when price volatility affects the desire to mine. There’s also conventions about what block numbers get used, and the desire to not let block times get too long. They thought they were scheduling Muir Glacier for the 6th. They appear to be wrong, as the chosen block number at one point recently was estimated for Dec 31, and then Jan 1. Lots of people whined, some a bit ridiculously so. Some people just like to whine! Note that the people who made the decision are the people most affected by it: the core developers. Estimation is hard.

The dumber thing that Bitcoin maximalists like to repeat is that “monetary policy changed.” That’s misleading at best, though it is true in the very strictest and most literal sense of the word.

The “bomb” or “ice age” or “difficulty adjustment” is not about monetary policy. The bomb’s purpose is to remove the default towards inertia and prevent capture by a relatively small amount of core devs. It forces all of us to come to consensus on what is best for the network. It only tangentially touches “monetary policy,” which is that network issuance of ETH is very slightly reduced as block times go up.

Ethereum’s “monetary policy” is that ETH should be issued to secure the network within reasonable confidence levels, and no more. This is in stark contrast to Bitcoin, who chose an issuance policy and is now hoping, praying, and memeing that 21 million BTC is sustainable. (It isn’t).

The bottom line here is that it’s true that much of the layer 1 talent is working on Eth2. Scalable blockchains that enable web3 has always been the Ethereum vision, so it makes sense. We should all be grateful to the folks who are doing yeoman’s work on Eth1. Peter, Nethermind, Alexey, etc The list could be long.

To sum up this eth1 section: eth1 clients continue to be improving, sync times are going down, and the private networking option of using TOR is very needed. Also: unlike what maxis say, you can run a full Eth node on a Raspberry Pi.

Eth2

Latest what’s new in Eth2

Danny Ryan’s quick Eth2 update – Least Authority spec audit, native nim libp2p, v0.10 spec coming in Jan with standardized BLS

Latest implementers call. Notes from Ben and Mamy.

Sigma Prime’s lessons learned from the Lighthouse public testnet. Bitfly/Etherchain put up a block explorer for Lighthouse.

Prysmatic client update. Better peering, faster syncing, fuzzing the caches. New testnet early Jan

Ben’s notes from latest networking call

Dankrad’s primer on data availability checks. Several options on this: FRI as erasure code fraud proof and using polynomial commitment schemes

cross-shard Eth transfers through a meta execution environment

Exploring the 2 keys used in Eth2 staking

How eth2 staking is designed to promote decentralization

The constant question I get is: when does Eth2 ship? The goal is still the end of q1, though it may slip into April. The beacon chain is moving along toward production. There’s a spec audit due in a couple months. There’s still some work to be done on optimizing clients and nailing down networking, but it’s happening. The research stuff in this week (data availability, Vitalik’s post on a meta execution environment) is aimed at phase 1 and 2.

It’s true that some of that phase 1 and 2 is in some flux. Of course it is! Should we prioritize a two way bridge, finalizing the eth1 chain, seamlessly porting eth1 to eth2, scalability (now!) from rollups, etc? (to be clear, as I understand it most of those things aren’t a question of tradeoffs, more a question of prioritization of dev resources). Personally I think finalizing the eth1 chain should be a priority. Drop eth1 issuance by 90% and stop wasting so much electricity.

Finally, the “staking” will lead to centralization argument drives me a little nuts. Compared to centralized PoW mining? Impossible that it could be less centralized than PoW mining, which is very easily identifiable by any state level actor just by looking at power usage. Plus run by a few mining pools, plus generally geographically centralized, etc etc.

Layer2

Loopring launches the first rollup chain, capacity 1400 transactions per second (not yet 2000-3000 because of operator bottleneck)

Account-Based anonymous rollup

Perun’s state channel framework in Go

Rollups are here! Loopring launches their rollup. Now it isn’t yet doing “Visa” levels of throughput but it’s close. There’s a lot of work to be done to make operators capable of doing 3000 transactions per second. It’s not point-and-click to just make a high throughput chain. Recall, for example, chains like EOS which sacrifice decentralization for throughput and still only churn out a few more transactions per second than Ethereum. </trollface>

Stuff for developers

Solidity v0.6 – “Changes include explicit virtual and override keywords in inheritance, support for try/catch, splitting the fallback function into a receive Ether function and an actual fallback function and limitations on how the length of an array can be changed.” ABIEncoderV2 no longer experimental. Yul optimizer automatically activated.

Truffle v5.1.5 compatible with Solidity v0.6

Easier deployment with Truffle Teams with Metamask and hardware wallets

AirAssembly v0.2, language for STARKs

Base Circom library

MythX: the journey from slow Python tool to EVM code analysis platfom

decentralized source verification repository for better wallet confirmations

Loredana released an early version of Pipeline, visual IDE

Austin Griffith’s latest eth.build on transactions and gas prices

3 approaches to permissioning in Solidity

Atomic proxy contract

Test your code from Java using web3j-unit

EY’s ERC20 token testing service is in public beta

how EY reduced Nightfall’s gas costs so drastically by using logs

Solidity keeps improving. v0.6 led Augur founder Joey Krug to exclaim, “To give you an idea for just how early crypto is, Solidity just now has try/catch statements!”

The post on the techniques EY used to reduce Nightfall’s gas costs is very cool.

Ecosystem

Privacy is here: Tornado.cash v2. 10 ETH and 1 ETH now supported. Also now supports DAI, with USDC and USDT coming. Plus withdrawals 60% cheaper due to EIP1108 in Istanbul. 1000+ anonymity set and anyone can run a relayer.

Private voting and whistleblowing using Semaphore

Parity announces plans to assign IP for its Rust client to a DAO. Drama ensued, to put it mildly.

The Gnosis Safe Multisig launch.

Social recovery with Argent gets even easier. Plus, Argent’s Ethereum ecosystem 2020 hype video is great

Tornado mixer going live is amazing. I 100% don’t want to downplay the possibility that the mixer has a bug or doesn’t work - though they now have 10 ETH deposits and you can insure away your risk with Nexus Mutual by getting a quote on 10 ETH for tornado.nexusmutual.eth and then limiting your exposure to 10 ETH at a time. The feature improvements are impressive, and it’s impossible to understate how need privacy improvements are.

Sometimes in Ethereum people didn’t want to pay each other at events using crypto because it means exposing so much of your transaction history. Privacy matters, and the Tornado mixer is bringing it.

I don’t want to touch much on the Parity drama. Much of this is “proof is in the pudding” stuff. While some parts of the Ethereum community on Reddit think this is Gavin declaring war (he published an op-ed in Coindesk about how blockchains would go to war with each other in 2020), if they assign clean IP to someone, then I feel comfortable guaranteeing you that the client will be well maintained. If Parity does not do that, then they’ll give credence to the critics.

Meanwhile key management is really getting so much better with Gnosis Safe or Argent. If you haven’t tried them, you should.

Enterprise

Tradeshift Frontiers and Monerium first cross-border euro transaction. “Invoices and purchase orders were issued through Tradeshift smart-contracts and settled using Monerium e-money on-chain.”

Seberino: private blockchains are not pointless because of decentralized administration and complete security histories.

Hyperledger Besu v1.3.8 better loq query performance

Governance and standards

Control of the MKR token handed over to MakerDAO

Synthetix planning to decentralize its governance in 2020

Deversifi launches its necDAO on DAOstack with 17k ETH in the DAO. Reputation received for locking NEC.

MetaCartel Ventures: a Moloch extension for-profit dapp investment fund

EIP2442: LOGQUERY(x) opcode

The relatively slow week for enterprise juxtaposed with a very packed non-enterprise is amusing.

Lots of stuff happening in DAO land. Various people are picking up different strands of TheDAO’s vision and experimenting.

Application layer

Buy ads-free Forbes for a week or month using Unlock Protocol

Affogato is doing a Unisocks-style sale of specialty coffee from Honduras.

Roll: a “social money exchange” on Uniswap, aimed at online content creators

Synthetix is now using Chainlink oracles

Neon District: Every blockchain game is an MMO

Burner Machine: spin up 3 hours of an anonymous cloud desktop for $1 in crypto

ETH being down in the market meant every set on Set Protocol is up in Eth terms

I think the Affogato sale is very cool, as is their vision for making coffee futures. I’ve bought a few even though I’m not a big coffee drinker. I’d really like to see the Ethereum community support them more. I may buy a token or two and give them away.

Also neat to see Forbes using Unlock. I bought one even though Brave already blocks my ads.

I had missed Burner Machine, which is a neat little concept and way of using crypto as a payment rail.

Also cool to see an oracle solution like Chainlink go into wider production with Synthetic.

And I guess I should have bought more sets on Set Protocol!

Tokens / Business / Regulation

TheGraph: web3 is going to be the next big platform, and it will start in 2020

SEC still charging random ICOs with unregistered security offerings

SEC proposes adding financial sophistication as criteria for accredited investor status

Proof of use as standard in token launches

ZimDai: a plan for Dai adoption in Zimbabwe to offer its citizens a hyperinflation alternative

1:1 collateralized stablecoin for the Nigerian Naira

ZimDai is super cool. Wasn’t this supposed to be a big part of what “crypto” about? It’s a long shot, but imagine how incredible it would be for Zimbabweans to have an alternative to their perpetual hyperinflation? Politicians cause inflation by overspending, the folks in Zimbabwe deserve a better option.

Meanwhile I loved Yaniv’s piece about web3 being the next big platform and how we get there. It’s amazing how the pendulum of “conventional wisdom” has swung the other way. This was a nice counterpoint.

General

PLONK benchmarks vs Groth16 on MiMC and SHA-256

Byte serialization in blockchains

Redundancy in Swarm (arxiv paper)

DeFi explained. A nice primer

Ethereum for dummies

Surveillance capitalism: location tracking from your smartphone apps (NYTimes)

Who should own the internet naming system of the future? ENS as public good

As always, a bit of a grab bag. In the ‘general’ section I now generally put things involving both very advanced crypto (like the very cool PLONK benchmarks from Aztec Protocol) and beginner tutorials. Both the beginner-friendly pieces are high on the list of most clicked.

#Ethereum

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chicagoindiecritics · 5 years ago

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New from Every Movie Has a Lesson by Don Shanahan: REWIND REVIEW: The Lion King

(Image courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures via wdsmediafile.com)

For an occasional new segment, Every Movie Has a Lesson will cover upcoming home media releases combining an “overdue” or “rewind” film review, complete with life lessons, and an unboxed look at special features.

THE LION KING

Anyone who seeks to own this version of The Lion King is doing so with a “how did they do that?” curiosity. The technical brilliance is its biggest selling point. That interest is answered very well by this disc release. Unlike its Pixar and Marvel offerings, Disney compiled a legitimate look into this re-imaginings wholly revolutionary bells and whistles. This movie will look gorgeous on your high-end television at home.

ANTICIPATORY SET AND PRIOR KNOWLEDGE:

Jon Favreau’s The Lion King stands as the biggest test to all of that progress and the attached criticism because of how little beyond the pristinely pixelated exterior is actually “reimagined.” So incredibly and, dare I say, unnecessarily much is nearly a shot-for-shot duplication of Disney’s most popular and most successful film of their Renaissance era. Duplicated enjoyment may have been the goal, but that makes one question a tangible purpose for truly needing any such update. Luckily, the shininess, so to speak, is an undeniably impressive and redeeming feature to a lack of implemented originality.

With around thirty minutes of extra marination here and there simplified by screenwriter and former steady Brett Ratner and Steven Spielberg collaborator Jeff Nathanson, the well-worn tale of The Lion King, with all of its hefty Shakespearean elements, is retold for a new generation. The habitat-sustaining balance of predator and prey on Pride Rock and the coming-of-age journey of an impatient young lion cub named Simba are derailed by the tragic death of his kingly father Mufasa (James Earl Jones). The pourer of snake oil and the engineer of this tragic royal coup is Mufasa’s rebuffed and cerebral younger brother Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and his enlisted army of hyenas. Shamed to believing his idolized father’s death was his fault, Simba leaves the savanna and grows into an adult (Donald Glover) in a lush jungle far away under the practical tutelage and scrappy friendship of a meerkat named Timon (Billy Eichner) and a warthog named Pumbaa (Seth Rogen). When his former betrothed lioness (Beyonce Knowles-Carter) and a spiritual soothsaying baboon (John Kani) from his past discover Simba is alive, they urge him to return home and claim his birthright.

LESSON #1: KIDS, LET’S LEARN ABOUT FOOD CHAINS AND FOOD WEBS — Depending on your chosen educator in the movie, Timon or Mufasa, you either have a straight line (food chain) or a grander circle (food web) to describe linked survival. It’s like the duel between facts and “fake news” only sung as an anthem to help you remember. Everything that lives will die and become the ingredients to a future living thing. We all are the products of that matter ourselves. It’s just what order you observe or place you occupy in the chain or the web.

LESSON #2: CARRY NO TROUBLE OR PROBLEMS IN YOUR LIFE — Just as in 1994, the catchy “Hakuna Matata” comprises your specially packaged teachable nugget for the target demographic. The Swahili phrase meaning “no trouble” or “no problems” remains good advice for moving on from past mistakes and perceived failures with an attitude change to focus on the present and future.

MY TAKE:

The opening line of my review for Aladdin read “It is becoming increasingly tedious to both critique and enjoy these Disney “re-imaginings.” That hasn’t changed. Go back before that with Dumbo and I said “Audiences constantly question the values of duplicated enjoyment or tangible purpose for needing anything new and shiny made from something that worked just that way it was intended decades ago.” That hasn’t changed either. Now, when I go back two years to Beauty and the Beast and read my words of “Let them be different, whether that’s better or worse, because they are different. View them separately and independently. Judge them separately and independently,” I see where the situations have changed for me and for this line of movies. I can’t do that anymore.

It is the present entertainment landscape and the future dividends that have powered this 2019 presentation to an immense level of anticipation. There is no disputing this movie’s immediate and constant wow factor as a stunning visual and technical spectacle. The photo-real animation of The Moving Picture Company supervised by three-time Oscar winner Robert Logato, fellow Jungle Book Oscar winner Adam Valdez, and promoted top supervisor Elliot Newman add divine ethereal layers and qualities to every corner of Caleb Deschanel’s laboratory cinematography, right down to the wind, bugs, hair, and dust. The conjured natural beauty and animal physicality is easily some of the best-looking CGI work Disney has ever attempted of film.

The trade-off with the hyper-detailed realism is the loss of engaging and exaggerated personification of characters and performances from traditional hand-drawn animation. This happened for The Jungle Book as well. Nearly all of the expressive eyes, mouths, and other emotional facial features are flattened and reduced by limits of physiological accuracy. Cartoons, more often than not, will always do that better. It shows here and it is showmanship that is dearly missed.

Stellar voice work would supersede that weakness. However, this update lacks a standout showy performance, even with a “let’s do this” and “I got this” modern attitude sprinkled throughout the diverse casting. Now 88, the returning Jones has lost little timbre, but counts as another ingredient of replication rather than an opportunity for newness. Ejiofor is a less oily Scar than Jeremy Irons and his calculated line deliveries of sinister intent and ruthless edge are underplayed and too calm to a degree. Glover and Knowles feel like they are reading more than emoting and hitting high drama. The most zeal, naturally, comes from the characters with the most personality. The chicanery of Eichner and Rogen charms to embezzle each episode of their participation.

What gave 1994’s The Lion King its lasting importance is the trait of majesty. In my eyes, that always came from the music as much as, if not more than, the characters themselves. The songs composed by the famed Elton John with lyrics by Disney hitmaker Tim Rice brought magnetic appeal. Hans Zimmer’s percussive and choral musical score, which stands as his only Oscar-winning work to date, elevated the entire movie’s powerful presence for show-stopping impact. That memorable music, recomposed and reworked by all three men with the infusion and addition of Beyonce, is the smartest and, in the end, the most essential anchoring element of this carryover. That vital strength is successfully retained rather than lost. Now, the musical majesty has a matching and radiant visual one primed to stir both new and old amazement.

LESSON #3: BE A GIVING KING — The generosity of a ruler’s wisdom and actions gain more fealty among their subjects than any fear or oppressive control. Mufasa and Simba earned that loyalty. The other animals in their organic orb of influence genuflect in respect. Can the same effect be evoked from the watching audiences of Jon Favreau’s new achievement as they gain or lose trust in Disney’s reputation with these second comings? The regal resonance of this parable wins. No matter if the version of The Lion King being shown is sketched or coded, we too may bow to the grand splendor on display.

3 STARS

EXTRA CREDIT:

The centerpiece of this home media edition is 53-minute “The Journey to The Lion King.” The presentation is divided into three chapters with director Jon Favreau’s ever-present finger in every pie. This feature easily bests the miniature 5-15 minute attempts of its peers. Even the so-so fans for this remake will find creativity to be impressed by in the production process for this movie.

The first segment is a 13-minute portion documenting the return of composer extraordinaire Hans Zimmer to the project that earned his only Oscar so far in his illustrious career. With a second crack at The Lion King, Zimmer brought increases of drums and vocal force to the familiar. Hearing Zimmer speak on his creative process and goals is fascinating. To have him and Elton John return to curate the score and songs was a coup for the studio and filmmakers.

The middle segment is the best and is subtitled “The Magic.” Here is where we see the extensive shooting process, led by six-time Oscar-nominated cinematographer Caleb Deschanel. The DP, the effects vendor MPC, and Favreau documented their “virtual camera” process. Ben Grossman of MPC built game engine technology where VR headsets rehearse and chart possible camera movements. Those shots are merged with the settings created by Andrew Jones and his animation team from the original animatic storyboards. All involved really go out of their way to explain this very new technique and the conversations are very insightful.

To see more of this outside of “The Journey to The Lion King,” viewers can peruse the “More to Be Scene” selections. Three of the major vocal set pieces (“Circle of Life,” “I Just Can’t Wait to be King,” and “Hakuna Matata”) are presented with side-by-side screen shifts of the four visual layers. Starting with the storyboards and animation to the virtual camera shooting and final finished product, the progression is amazing to see.

Last of the three chapters, “Timeless Tale” brings forward the diverse voice talents of these animal characters and personas. Favreau leads here to explain and defend how this cast of new performers were chosen. They, in turn, excitedly explain their connection to it all. Many grew up as ardent lovers of the original and feel the Favreau opportunity is dream fulfillment and a large honor. The smiles are shared by all around.

Jon Favreau’s feature commentary takes all of this and goes even further with scene-by-scene breakdowns. His complementary insights often emphasize the documentary and photo-realistic goals and desires of the movie and all those working on it. The goal from the beginning was less anthropomorphic emotion to avoid cartooning, which addresses the contention of many for the lack of facial expressions. Emulation came first, right down to the shot creations. According to the director, the more iconic the scene, the more the filmmakers adhered to the known memories without tinkering. Changes were easier to make elsewhere.

After that, the other bonus features are pretty short and simple. Entertainment is the chief goal where the movie itself can be played straight or as a sing-along version. For those who want to cut straight to the ditties, there is a Song Selection feature to pick any of the eight lyricized song scenes. Music video inclusions are given to the two new original song additions, “Spirit” by Beyonce and “Never Too Late” by Elton John. Expect one of those to get an Oscar nomination slot come the winter awards season.

The final minor bit is “Protect the Pride.” It is a tidy 3-minute PSA on lions highlighting the beneficial Lion Recovery Fund efforts supported with a bucks from Disney’s fat checkbook. The organization’s goal with this partnership is to double the formerly endangered lion population in the wild by 2050. Helpful and harmless, it represents a positive message and kissed ring at the same time.

LOGO DESIGNED BY MEENTS ILLUSTRATED (#833)

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shiningrye · 8 years ago

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Baker’s Dozen -1 2016

Please lady, my tinnitus.

It may be a few months into 2017 but it’s not too late to review the year that was. It can be worthwhile to reflect on the past, to celebrate successes and learn from shortcomings, to track your progress and see how you’ve grown, and to dwell and ruminate on missed opportunities while you lie awake in your bed at two in the morning trapped in a nihilistic prison of your own mind.

I set out every year to challenge myself to do twelve projects. These can be paid gigs or just personal projects that I complete, but I try to get one finished a month. I feel it’s a great motivator and a good way to improve my skills and at the very least it’s a good productive outlet. I generally only count projects or goals that relate to filmmaking or digital media to keep me more focused.

Here’s how I did (in order of release/completion):

1. Four Feet Companion Foundation - Pucks for Paws

youtube

The first project of the year I finished was a volunteer gig for Four Feet Companion Foundation, this is a great little volunteer-run organization that provides financial and volunteer support to local animal charities. Being part animal myself, I was excited to take on this project and contribute to this cause. I believe this is played annually now at every Pucks for Paws event which is their big fundraising event that takes place at the Saddledome. Overall this was a pretty straightforward shoot and I was decently happy with how it turned out.

Some challenges were the logistics of scheduling and traveling to the different locations, as well as setting up the shoots alone without scouting the location first. A lot of these challenges were caused by a truncated timeline.

What I learned: Thinking back and rewatching the video, it’s obvious that in one interview the colour was way off. It ain’t purdy.

There were a few issues that I faced.

Mixed colour temperature. I was dealing with three different temperatures (daylight from the window, overhead fluorescents and a tungsten keylight) and without proper gels I really didn’t know the best course of action to take.

I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t have suitable gels or flags and I flew blind into the location.

I dun goofed. Lastly, I made a mistake in setting the white balance.

Mixed colour temperature is a beast that can only be slain one way: Unifying all light sources to one temperature. As Alex Buono (SNL and Documentary Now! DP) says, there’s no tricks around it, you just have to get all light to be the same temperature the old fashioned way. It seems obvious and is relatively straightforward to do, if albeit time consuming. A quick flick of the switch killed the overhead fluorescents, which left the two mixed sources shining. Altering light sources isn’t so bad in a small room, if you have the tools.

But I didn’t have the tools.

Logistically this was the only room we could shoot in. There were no blinds on the window and no rod or frame to clip a blanket too, even if I did have clips. You think a guy without clips is going to have a flag (fabric designed to cut light that can be easily positioned)? Hell no. I also didn’t have large enough gels to cover the window (known as CTO or colour temperature orange, alters daylight to tungsten) or the keylight (CTB or colour temperature blue, which alters tungsten light to daylight). I just wasn’t prepared.

Lastly I made an M. A mmmm-m-m-m... A mistake. Yes. A big fat one. Juicy and all tender-like.

I didn’t change the white balance on the cameras to tungsten (3200K) from daylight (5500/5600K) prior to shooting. To add insult to amateruish injury, the walls were painted in what I swear to be Tungsten Yellow, which just compounded the problem.

You’d think someone who worked for a company as a corporate videographer with a few years under their belt wouldn’t make mistakes like this. But it happens. Or at least it happened to me. The trick is to learn from your mistakes and try not to retread the same territory again.

So how did I learn from my mistakes?

The colour temperature issue may have been avoided if I was able to scout the location beforehand. Short timelines can be hard to avoid, but one thing I would’ve insisted on for this interview would’ve been requesting some pictures

of potential shooting locations. Now they may not be able to accommodate the request in time, but you have nothing to lose by asking. I assumed, falsely, that shooting in houses are all relatively the same which wasn’t the case.

Furthermore, since this shoot, my kit has grown in size to hopefully avoid a similar issue in the future.

The white balance gaffe spurred me to make a consistent mental checklist and run through it prior to every shoot since. The checklist I will share in a future post! A simple flash of my Gray Card or using a Colour Passport also would’ve saved me a headache. Over the past year I’ve learned a lot more about colour correcting and grading.

(Top) Last year I was trying to counter the yellow and orange and then glazed it with magenta maybe as a feeble attempt to make it a bit stylized? I couldn’t tell ya. With knowing what I know now, I could salvage it somewhat (Bottom) but it’s best to not make those mistakes in the first place.

That’s also not the worst of it. To add to the stress of the shoot, embarrassingly I may or may not have forgot to bring the quick release plate for the B cam, rendering its tripod useless...

1/4"-20 on a lightstand is there for this reason, right?

I’m not proud.

Yeah I could’ve balanced it on the tripod head. But I did have the sense to know that gravity wins every time.

Tip: Always check your kit before you leave. Another tip: I didn’t get bogged down and give up with the amateur-hour move, I looked at what I had and used it to jerry-rig a solution. If it’s stupid but it works, it ain’t stupid. Even if it still looks stupid.

2. PONOS Apparel

vimeo

Had a good time shooting this one: a web commercial for a local athletic apparel company. Shot it in a day and overall it went smoothly. Had a quick and dirty shot list that was flexible so it was fun improvising sequences and putting it together in the edit. Loved working with the director, who made shooting it a breeze.

I believe a student who attends at a local highschool created the music.

Challenges were some of the shots such as running nearly full tilt with a Glidecam but I think they worked for what it is. This is where a gimbal or Steadicam or even a vest and arm attachment would’ve made light work of it.

What I learned: I would’ve made some different editing choices now. The part that really sticks out to me now is in the deadlift scene I’d remove the ‘jump cut + crash zooms’ on the kick beat. They’re unnecessary! Sometimes I get an idea in my head and I want to run with it, but it’s easy to trap yourself in a tunnel. So ideally I should’ve taken a step back and let the edit breathe a bit before committing. Also I need to watch my exposure and ratios. The final shot (which is also the thumbnail above) the highlights are too hot and it’ll bug me forever.

3. John’s Tongue is Not Long

youtube

I had a strong urge to shoot a short so I whipped up a poem and a video idea about one of my roommates at the time, John, and his short tongue. After shooting it, I thought that the poem idea lent itself better to a song. So I enlisted the help of Chris Koehler to help put this song idea in motion. I was hoping he would take one look at the lyrics and jump at the chance to sing such glory. But alas he encouraged me to. I love singing. Alone in my car. The sing-songy genes of my ancestors were weeded out long ago. Perhaps it’s the reason why they emigrated? But I had fun and I think Chris did too. I’m stoked with how the song turned out, he killed it.

Challenges were I didn’t storyboard this or even really shot list this, just kind of went through the lyrics and shot what I thought fit. This made for a bit of problem solving in the edit but it actually wasn’t bad at all and I enjoyed making it fit.

What I learned: The idea was to shoot the first half before John went in for surgery (his wee tongue was causing him discomfort) and finish it off once he has a glorious normal length tongue. I realize now however that this doesn’t come across in the lyrics or the video. My talented director and animator buddy, Jarett Sitter provided some indispensable feedback with just one constructive comment, “I wish he had a ridiculous over-the-top tongue in the last scene.” As soon as he said it I knew I dun goofed.

One of my screenwriting profs said the ending has to be worth the price of admission. (paraphrased, he actually said the ending has to be the best part of the story to make it worth it. i.e. shit ending = shit story). Rewatching my own work is tough but it’s the best way to learn, and when I watch this I realize there’s no click at the end, no spice that holds the rest of it together. Adding in something over-the-top like that would’ve made it a lot more effective as a whole and would’ve fit with the style of the video no problem. So the lesson here, no matter how silly your project you set out to make, consult with friends and revise the script a few times before setting it in stone, you’ll get a better product at the end.

4. GRIT

GRIT is a non-prof that educates kindergarten-age children with disabilities. They requested a slideshow be created so it could be played at their annual gala. Me not settling for just an average slideshow decided to give it a little flair.

Challenges were the flair. I used a fairly common plugin for After Effects (AE) called SureTarget, and needless to say I ran into some problems. I love Video Copilot. They’re a fantastic resource and their plugins are great. So I’m not going to complain about a free, 7 year old plugin. But I will tell you of my tribulations. I’ve used the plugin with success a few times before, but it was used on older versions of AE. It was also used with fewer pictures. This video required about 80 photos/clips to be used, which was also another challenge to try and fit that within the allotted time. I believe the combination of debatable-compatibility with the newer version of AE and the sheer amount of assets proved a nightmare. I don’t even want to look back at how many hours I spent trying to fix the weirdest issues both in animating and rendering. It was too many for what should’ve been a relatively straightforward project.

What I learned: Sometimes you just learn in the middle of production that something just doesn’t work. Due to my stubbornness I refused to demote the slideshow to a generic (worse) program to deliver something. I problem solved and problem solved to find a solution that worked. However, I have put the plugin to rest for good now. It was a good sendoff as I was tired of using it anyway.

5. Phantasmagoria

I got the chance to work with Tia Halliday, a local artist, in capturing video of her project, Phantasmagoria. The idea behind it was to explore the relationship of the body to sculpture and painting. The scope of the project was impressive: using dancers from Alberta Ballet to contort their bodies and hold positions inside fabric sacks to be photographed digitally and with a medium format film camera, both in studio and on location outside.

Challenges were I haven’t done much in the way of abstract video or at least capturing abstract art. So getting myself well-versed and acquainted with the project was the first step. The rest fell into place in the weeks leading up and on the day.

What I learned: this was a combination of behind the scenes videography and capturing the imagery first-hand so it was good experience being able to shoot both.

6. Cancer Crusher Flash Mob

This was a short social-media-focused piece. It was relatively straightforward, and fun since I didn’t know exactly what to expect until it was happening.

Challenges the lens I used is not my favourite but it’s versatile for fast-paced shoots like this, it’s just a pain in the ass to pull focus on, and my hope is to invest in a better zoom eventually. During this shoot I felt like a hummingbird with all the people and action going on, that for a couple shots I cursed at myself in the edit because I didn’t hold frame long enough and missed context because of it.

What I learned: For fast fly-by-seat-of-pants shoots, just need to remember to breathe a beat or two longer on shots.

7. Cancer Crusher 2016 Main Event Recap

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This was the main event for Cancer Crusher where you could win prizes, eat, drink, listen to music, and smash fruit! This was a blast to shoot and I had a great time putting it together.

Challenges were not much different from other event videography gigs. Smaller venues can be a little more challenging to get the shot but there was time to get everything I felt I needed to. As always music is a challenge to find. I think I found something that captured the fun spirit with it hopefully not being too stock music-y.

What I learned: it’s always great to stretch the videography muscles so just getting more experience is always welcome.

8. Sally Shapiro - If You Ever Wanna Change Your Mind

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Directed by the aforementioned Jarett Sitter, this music video was fun and a very rewarding challenge to work on. It combined 3D assets - both still and animated, and 2D illustration and animation. My job was editing the video and combining those two sources to make them come alive.

Challenges were obvious. It was a fairly large-scale project in terms of scope (3D animation combined with illustration) and size (it’s a long song). 3D animation is a very time intensive process on the back-end especially, so if there are any changes, you have to prepare for hours (days) of rendering time. Due to the size of the project, the 3D guru, Evan, Jarett and I had to work simultaneously (picture us sprinting across a canyon, where one person is laying down slats and the other two are tying rope, trying to build the bridge as we go). So while consultations were frequent, the nature of it was generally only the big picture could really get nailed down. Figuring out an efficient workflow was key to the success of this project.

What I learned: I love compositing so getting a chance to get some more experience doing it was great. It was very rewarding coming up with solutions to the challenges some parts offered.

9, 10, 11, 12, 13. Lost Twentysomething Series

Last year I finished shooting five shorts that have been an absolutely labour of love. These have consumed my headspace for the past year, but it has been such an invaluable experience both personally and educationally. I’m pumped to see them coming together. Braden Paes along with my friends and family have helped me immensely in getting them produced. There have been challenges and tons of learning opportunities and in the coming weeks/months I’ll post more about them. In the meantime, I am steadily chipping away at them in post, hoping to have something to show in the early summer.

BONUS 14, 15, 16. Escape, Trillium, and Shasta Keychains

My dad’s little business, Camping Treasures is growing in inventory every month! The past year he needed me to draw out the dieline for three different trailers, the Escape, Trillium, and Shasta, so they could be made into 2-sided keychains.The designs have even been shrunk for wine glass charms and earrings. Take a look!

Conclusion

I haven’t written something this long since graduating university, but aside from shaking the rust off, my motivation for writing these is mainly self-serving. Overall I think I’m a patient guy but I often catch myself feeling like I’m in a rush, that I’m not progressing as much or as fast as I’d like, so I like looking back to reassure myself that I have been staying on track, learning, and applying what I’ve learned previously.

If you managed to get through it all, I sincerely hope that it maybe helped you do that thing you want to do or allowed you time to reflect on your own progress over the past year. What are you proud of? What challenges have you overcome and what have you learned from those challenges? Post in the comments or keep them in mind as you crush 2017!

I have started a new career this year which leaves me with less free time (except for right now), so instead of looking at quantity of projects finished, I’m going to be celebrating and looking at the smaller victories over the year.

#bakersdozenminusone #filmmaking #goals #project goals #film goals #new years goals #new year resolutions #shortfilm #videographer #video production #makingmoves #video project #filmmaker #neverstoplearning #ohgodthistookallday

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snowdice · 4 years ago

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Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 29]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

I’m giving myself the night off schoolwork and going to catch up on some editing and other stuff. So, let’s have fun with the babies!

Over the course of the next three days of Virgil’s captivity, Virgil would come to the conclusion that his captors were idiots.

This thought flickered to life once again as Logan leaned into the closet to point out another constellation on the ceiling, tottering unstably on his knees as his weight shifted forward and distracted by his enthusiasm.

They were alone in the prince’s room. Patton had left only a few minutes before to help his mother in the kitchen (less because she needed help and more to not make her suspicious about why he’d spent so much time away in the last few days).

He wouldn’t be back for a while and Virgil had full mobility in the closet. With Logan leaning over the threshold like that, it would be easy to kill him or even just incapacitate him. One rough yank on his arm would have him completely in the closet. Virgil had no question that he could pin him down so he couldn’t activate the restraints, and even if he managed to do so, he’d have been drawn close enough that Virgil could use his legs. He could either force him to take off the cuffs or, since they automatically went to the second setting when he left the closet, just deal with it until he managed to get away.

It would just be so easy. Yet, he did not. He just watched Logan as he leaned stupidly over an assassin while info dumping about stars.

This was the first day that he hadn’t felt at all tired when he’d drank the provided nutrition and healing potion, though it had never affected him quite as much as it had the first day. Logan said that meant that his injuries must be healed. It was a weird feeling. He didn’t remember when the last time was that he wasn’t damaged in some way. Even before his grueling training, there’d always been bullies at the orphanage and he’d been the youngest and smallest in his age group.

He was also more well rested and fed than he had been in as long as he could remember. He felt better then he knew was possible today, and he suspected that he would only feel better after a bit more time under their care.

He told himself that is why he didn’t lash out now. He was waiting until he was as strong as possible to make sure his escape went as well as it could, even if it was a risk. They’d mentioned that the king would be gone for three weeks. After he returned, Virgil would surely be turned over to people much more capable of actually keeping him well trapped and less likely to feed him well, give him a nice place to sleep, and leave him without injury. It was a gamble to stay, because it was possible that he wouldn’t find another opportunity in time and would get handed over to his fate. Really, if he was being reasonable, he should get out now while he felt good and had a secured opportunity.

Still, he did not. He had not any of the times they’d given him the opportunity in the last few days. Logan finished his sentence and leaned back out of the closet to safety. He still was speaking though in that soft happy tone. Logan liked the stars. He liked to talk about the stars, and Virgil found he liked to listen to him. They tended to end up in this position whenever Patton was away, just talking as Virgil laid in his closet.

Eventually, Logan’s latest story tapered out. There was silence then for a few moments. Virgil stared up at the fake stars on the ceiling. The stars that Logan had made for him when he really did not have to. Virgil had not been expecting lights in the closet, let alone ones so beautiful and thoughtful. Not ones with stories behind them. Just days ago, if someone had told Virgil the prince would be keeping him in his closet for the next few weeks, Virgil wouldn’t have expected a blanket let alone all of this.

He turned his head to look at Logan. “What?” Logan asked.

“Your magic’s very beautiful,” Virgil said.

Logan seemed pleased by the complement, lighting up almost as much as the stars he made. “Well, it’s just a basic light spell,” he said, “though I did make some adjustments to them and the dimmer was a bit more difficult. Anyone could do it with practice.”

Virgil shook his head. “They’re special, I think,” he said. “Your magic’s different than most people.”

“How so?” Logan asked curiously.

“It’s gentle,” he said. “Gentle and warm, like eating the warm soup you fed me a couple of days ago.”

“And other people’s magic feels different?” he asked.

Virgil nodded. “I’ve met a lot of magic users, but it always felt bad. Usually it hurts or makes you feel sick or just makes you uncomfortable. Even healing magic always felt like bugs nibbling at my skin, but the potion you’ve been having me drink in the morning feels… safe. It doesn’t hurt or make me want to cry. It’s just good.”

“Magic often has much to do with the caster’s intentions,” Logan said.

“I think you could poison me gently.”

Logan made an odd expression. “That…” he said, nose scrunched. “That is a strange thing to say.”

Virgil cocked his head. “Is it?”

“Yes!” Logan said, shaking his head. “You are far too comfortable with the concept of death for your age.”

“I’m fourteen,” Virgil argued. “That’s old enough to be sent on missions without a blood compulsion!”

“…A what?” Logan asked.

“A blood compulsion,” Virgil said. “You know, with a multrum.” Logan was frowning at him. “One works in your gardens and you’re a prince. You had to at least have seen one or two. They take a bit of blood and multrums process it into a little bead. Then you’ve got to do what your told or it hurts a lot.”

“I know what a blood compulsion is,” Logan said. “I am simply wondering who would put one on a fourteen-year-old.”

“They don’t,” Virgil said. “They stop putting them on people when they turn fourteen.”

“And exactly what is the age range for it?” Logan asked. Virgil was almost startled by the way his tone was quickly hardening. He’d never heard him be that harsh even when he’d first woken up in his custody. It made Virgil tense up.

“They take kids usually when they’re about 8 and it’s a year of training before your sent on a mission so 9-13,” he said.

“That’s horrible,” Logan spat so violently that Virgil flinched. Logan didn’t seem to notice. “They force children to kill under a blood compulsion?”

“Well, no one really wants to do it without one when they’re that little. They get scared, and usually try to chicken out so…”

“So, they torture them unless they kill someone.”

“I mean… it’s not. They have to agree to the deal.”

“And if they don’t agree to it?” Logan asked.

Virgil thought back to the second time they’d made him get a blood compulsion. It had been with the multrum before Janus, a girl by the name of Alina. He’d made the mistake of hesitating on his first kill and faced the consequences before finally giving in and doing the job. When the second mission had come around, Virgil hadn’t wanted to accept the blood compulsion.

That had been the first time they’d made him drink a binding potion. Logan seemed to be able to get an idea about it by the look on his face.

“So, your options were to be tortured, be tortured in a different way, or murder someone.” Logan looked at him. “You said your fourteen. Have you ever even killed of your own volition?”

“I… no,” he admitted, but quickly added, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t. I know what I’m doing.”

“That explains a lot about your personality and reactions so far.”

Virgil rankled at that for some reason. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Logan just stared at him for a long moment. “What they did, what they are doing isn’t right you know?” he said.

Virgil blinked at him but said nothing. He became more and more uncomfortable in the silence that ensued.

“Would you like to learn more about magic?” he asked. “There are many uses other then to hurt. I can teach you a few basics if you like.”

Virgil was confused about the topic change but was relieved about it. “Uh,” he thought. “Sure. That would be… interesting.”

Logan smiled at him. “I’ll set up something and we can work with it in the next few days. What would you like to learn?”

“Um, I have no idea. What is there?”

Logan considered it for a moment. “We could do a hair color changing potion. Or perhaps a small protection charm or I can teach you to make fire shapes.”

“Protection charm,” Virgil said without hesitation.

Logan gave him a sad smile. “Of course. I’ll start showing you how to make them tomorrow and we can actually make some the next day.”

“Okay,” Virgil agreed.

“Would you like to hear more about the stars?” he asked. Virgil nodded. He once again leaned into the closet to point and Virgil once again did not move to attack. Nor did he attack when that afternoon Patton turned his back on Virgil for far too long when they were alone. Nor did he when they settled him to bed once again in the closet. He told himself it was strategic, but he knew it wasn’t.

Chapter 12

Logan had needed to spend some time performing royal duties today which left Patton and Virgil alone after breakfast. Patton had started out trying to teach Virgil different board games. He’d seemed intrigued at first, but after a few games of checkers seemed to grow bored. Patton had gotten a blank stare when he’d asked if Virgil had any ideas about what to do for fun, so now he was trying to figure out something else they could do. He cast his eyes around at what Logan had in his bedroom.

“How about I read you a book?” he suggested.

Virgil seemed very intrigued by that idea. “Sure,” he said.

“Okay!” Patton said cheerfully. “He popped to his feet and glanced through the small shelf of fiction books Logan kept in his room. He decided to choose one of the lighter ones that Logan and he had liked to read when they were younger. “This one is called The Never-ending Garden,” Patton said. “It’s about a group of four children and their adventures in a garden. It’s full of magic and adventure and friendship! Is that alright with you?”

“It sounds good,” Virgil answered.

Patton happily walked back over to sit next to him. “It is!” he said.

First, he showed Virgil the picture on the cover of a wild looking garden with four kids roaming through it. One of the children was in a little red wagon being pulled by another one wearing a fancy hat. One of the others was walking, looking at a map while the last had a wooden sword. After giving Virgil a couple of moments too look at the picture, Patton cracked it open.

“We start with Lydia’s perspective,” Patton said. “She’s one of my favorites!” He pointed to a picture of a girl in a raincoat at the beginning of the chapter and Virgil leaned slightly closer to see. Then, Patton cleared his voice.

“It had been raining that day,” Patton began, “but Lydia had been so bored that she still begged her father to go out and play when the storm lightened into a sprinkle. He made her change from the yellow dress she had been wearing into the one she often used to help him garden because he knew she was certain to get herself muddy. Her younger brother Marcus asked if he could come too and though part of her wanted to say no because she wanted to explore on her own without her baby brother slowing her down, her father had taught her to be a good big sister, so she agreed to let him come.”

Patton watched Virgil out of the corner of his eye as he read about Lydia meeting up with the neighbor boy, Al, and the three children started to explore the garden in Lydia’s backyard. Virgil leaned in slightly to look at the pictures and listen to the story intently as the three children traveled deeper and deeper into the garden, but never made it to the back fence. They’d just made it to the part where they heard rustling behind the blackberry bush which Patton knew was the last main character, Melly, when Patton felt the need to adjust his posture a bit. Virgil moved in kind and ended up leaning further into Patton.

Without even really thinking about it, Patton brought his arm around to touch the top of his head. Virgil flinched the second Patton made content and Patton drew the hand away immediately. “Sorry,” he said with a wince. Patton was a naturally touching person and he’d been having trouble battling his instincts to cuddle everyone and everything while around Virgil, but he knew most touch was not welcome. The poor thing startled every time Patton went to touch him unannounced and even sometimes when he’d said something before doing it.

“I-it’s okay,” Virgil said.

Patton gave him a tight lipped smiled and turned back to the book.

He stilled a second later when Virgil leaned back in and their shoulders brushed. He blinked over at him. “Oh,” he said softly. “Do… do you want me to touch your hair?”

Virgil curled up into himself a little bit but then nodded.

“Okay,” Patton said. “I’m going to put my arm around you and do that then, okay?” He drew upon his years and years of convincing easily startled cats to allow him to give them pats as he slowly moved his arm back to where it had been before and gently touched the side of his head. He tensed, but didn’t startle this time, and so Patton gently ran his fingers through the hair a couple of times. Eventually, the tension bled out of him and he sort of slumped against Patton’s shoulder. Patton just barely restrained a coo before going back to reading. He continued to stroke the side of Virgil’s hair as he described the gang meeting up with Melly and them being told she was a fairy that lived in the garden.

He'd only gotten to the part about them finding the wagon when Virgil started to shift a bit uncomfortably, his neck craned in an awkward angle. Patton kept reading as he brought the hand in his hair down to his shoulder and pushed lightly. There was the slightest bit of resistance as Virgil didn’t know what he was trying to do, but then he allowed Patton to move him. Patton leaned back a bit and picked the book up off his lap before continuing to push him down. Virgil did not help at all, seeming confused about what was going on.

Patton had to poke him around until he was on his back laying across Patton’s lap. He grinned down at the boy who was looking at him in blatant bewilderment and propped the book up on his chest. He held it there with one of his hands and stretched the other out to resume messing with his hair. Virgil relaxed into the new position after a few minutes of reading, eyes shutting as he enjoyed the attention. His eyes would flicker open every time Patton moved to show him a picture, but other than that, he seemed content to not move.

Eventually, he stopped responding when Patton moved to show him the pictures.

“Are you asleep?” he asked quietly. When he didn’t get a response, he bookmarked the last picture Virgil had responded to, and then continued reading to himself.

Eventually, there was a knock at the door. It was the one he and Logan had decided on to tell the other one that it was just them and not to panic when the door opened. The door opened to Logan a moment later.

He paused, taking in the sight of the assassin sprawled across Patton’s lap like a sleepy kitten. He shook his head fondly and walked over to them on silent feet. He bent and pressed a hand to the top of Virgil’s hand. Virgil stirred just barely, but didn’t open his eyes, pressing into the touch a bit.

Logan smiled. “He wanted to learn how to make protection charms today. I assume you’d like to join us?” Patton perked up and nodded happily, making Logan chuckle softly. “I will go set it up then. Would you like another book for the time being?”

“Just the one I was reading last night would be nice,” Patton said.

“Of course.” Logan stepped away to grab it and handed it to him. Then, he disappeared into his potion’s lab. Patton smiled down at Virgil’s sleeping face and settled the new book onto his chest to replace the children’s book. He didn’t even stir.

Chapter 13

Logan was able to quickly set up the station for making protection charms. Patton had always liked making them, though he often used his more as fun accessories than for protection. The one he was going to show Virgil how to make was a very simple low level one used for little more than to keep bugs off of yourself and, in the event of a well made one, alert one to imminent danger by changing temperature. It was a nice thing to hold in the middle of the night if one was frightened by real or imagined threats. It would be warm to the touch when your environment was safe; he thought Virgil might appreciate it.

He and Patton decided to wait until Virgil woke up naturally which only took about 30 minutes. Then, Logan brought him to his set up supplies. He explained briefly the process for making a protection charm. “I will be the one performing the enchantment for today,” he told Virgil. “I will show you how to make your own later, but I thought seeing how to make them would help with the learning process.”

“Plus, it’s fun!” Patton said.

Logan flashed a smile at him. “And that as well. I’ve prepared a small number of possible pendants for you to choose from. You can choose the shape and color, then we will put on a custom engraving, as well as decorations.”

“Glitter! Glitter! Glitter! Glitter!”

“Yes, Patton, everyone knows you’re going to choose glitter,” Logan said, amused, “but why don’t we let Virgil decide for his own pendant?”

“Fine,” Patton said, “but mine will be glitter.”

Logan grabbed the box of blank pendants and offered it to Virgil. “Choose whichever one feels right,” he suggested. Virgil moved forward and looked over the box. “You can touch them,” Logan said. “In fact, I would suggest it as it is meant to be held when it’s done and you may as well get a feel for it.”

At his prompting, Virgil did. He reached into the box and shifted a few to the side. Eventually, he started picking a few up. “I like the crescent shape for holding the most he said,” holding a blue one up, but I don’t know.”

“What’s your favorite color?” Patton asked.

“Oh, um,” he mumbled. “I dunno.”

“Well here,” Patton said, reaching for the box. He dug through it and pulled out every single crescent moon shaped pendant and lined them up. “What do you fancy?”

Virgil considered them all for a long moment and then tentatively pointed the purple one out.

“Great!” Patton said. “Then, we’ll use that one.”

Virgil nodded and Patton picked up the pendant to drop it into his hands. His fingers curled over the shape and he seemed satisfied by the choice, so Logan turned to Patton. “Your turn,” he said.

Patton happily grabbed out a heart shaped blue one, but then paused and exchanged it for a purple one. “We match!” he said.

Virgil smiled slightly at his enthusiasm, and Logan dug out a blue crescent moon shape for himself. “Now that you have your base, you get to choose the engraving.” He opened up the instruction book to the correct page and showed it to him.

Virgil looked over the two pages of designs with carful focus. He wavered between the spiral sun and the flames for a moment, but eventually settled on the flames. Patton chose the interlocking hearts design as anticipated; it was his favorite, and Logan chose the spiral sun design for himself.

“Now, I’m going to engrave this design onto yours,” Logan said getting out the thin pen like instrument and dipping it into the slightly glowing bottle of potion he’d set out. “In the meantime, Patton will show you what we have for decorations.”

He was careful to get the symbol as perfect as he could and then started on Patton’s. Patton apparently managed to corrupt the boy because both of them came back with brushes and glitter to add as decoration.

Logan shook his head and handed them their freshly engraved pendants. “Apply the glitter how you like,” Logan said, moving on to his own engraving. Once he was finished, he selected some glow in the dark paint to decorate his own.

Once he’d finished decorating his own pendant, Logan looked up. “Are you finished?” he asked.

“Yep!” Patton said, shoving his pendant at Logan while Virgil nodded. Virgil had been far less enthusiastic than Patton, having carefully brushed glitter into the flame design only whereas Patton had haphazardly covered his own all over with glitter. Logan took both pendants.

“This,” Logan said, bringing over a different potion, “is used to make sure the decorations never fall off. It basically allows the other substances to become a part of the stone. “It isn’t too dangerous, but I’d suggest you stand back for the moment.”

Virgil stepped back farther back than was strictly necessary and gave the potion bottle a wary look. Logan moved all three pendants to the prepared surface (else they ran the risk of also getting stuck to the table) and put on gloves, having learned that magically gluing rocks to ones hands was not fun years ago. Then, he carefully drizzled a bit of the potion onto each rock. The rocks fizzled loudly, and Virgil gave off a startled yelp before toppling over flat on his face with his wrist glued to his sides.

“Oh no, honey,” Patton said immediately crouching next to him. “I’m sorry. We should have warned you about the noise.”

Logan wasn’t sure what type of action he’d tried to take when the sound started up, but whatever it was, it had caused him to move his arms fast enough that he’d activated the binding potion and it snapped his wrists to his side, overbalancing him.

Patton’s hands hovered over the startled boy, but he didn’t touch. After a few moments, it was clear that the magic keeping Virgil’s hands at his side released because his hands slowly crept forward to push himself up, so his face wasn’t planted against the ground. His eyes still looked incredibly startled.

“Are you alright?” Patton asked.

Virgil blinked. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said.

Logan took his words as permission to move without risking startling him more. Virgil’s eyes bopped back and forth between him and Patton a few times as he crossed to his wall of potions and grabbed one.

He also selected a clean cloth from a basket on his way over to them. “A light healing potion,” Logan explained as he knelt in front of Virgil. He uncorked it. “May I?”

“I’m fine,” Virgil said with a frown. “I’m not even bleeding. It’s barely anything.”

“Which is why it’s a light healing potion,” Logan said. “You are sure to bruise with the way you hit. This will prevent it and make it stop hurting.”

“Okay,” Virgil agreed after a moment. Logan dribbled a bit out onto the rag. After a moment of thought, he touched the damp part of the cloth with his own finger, just to quash any fears that it would harm him.

“It will tingle slightly,” Logan warned. Virgil tilted his face to let him dab it onto his nose and the light scrape on his face. His nose scrunched up and he moved to rub the sensation away quickly only to have his arms slam back to his sides.

Patton caught him so the sudden involuntary movement didn’t cause him to fall back, and then giggled when Virgil titled his head to what could only be described as pout back at him.

“Aw, poor thing,” Patton cooed, reaching forward to rub a hand across the top of his nose and then his forehead where the potion had been applied for him.

“Better?” Patton asked.

“You’re really bad at this being captors thing,” Virgil commenting, willingly leaning back into Patton. Patton just smiled happily.

Logan took the bottle and got to his feet, before returning it, and then glanced at the pendants as Patton helped Virgil to his feet. The pendants had stopped fizzing, so Logan felt okay reaching in and grabbing them all.

He handed both Patton and Virgil their pendants when they walked closer to the table.

“And now for the actual enchantment,” Logan said. “For today, I already prepared the potion up to the last step as it has to sit for a few hours, but I will show you the last step and eventually teach you everything if you are still interested.”

Virgil nodded, but said. “No more noises?”

Logan smiled. “No more noises,” he confirmed. Then he pushed forward all of the ingredients he was about to put in the pot for Virgil to study one by one before putting them each in it in the correct order. Then he demonstrated how to stir it correctly and told him how many times, though he doubted he’d be able to retain all of the information from this one demonstration. “There,” he said, setting down his spoon. “Now we just all put our pendants into the pot, and they should be ready in 25 minutes.”

Logan showed Virgil around his potion’s lab while they waited, explaining what certain pieces of equipment did and a bit about his organization system. Virgil followed him around, looking at the things he pointed out curiously. He, however, got very distracted when Logan showed him one of the experiments he’d concocted. It was a thick liquid that was super attracted to itself and would form a small ball that could be disturbed by touching it. He seemed to like the sensation of squishing it down onto a table… over and over and over again.

“We should get him a ball of yarn,” Patton said out of the corner of his mouth. He may have been enjoying watching Virgil play with the substance more than Virgil was enjoying playing with it himself. And that was saying something.

21984

Eventually, however, the pendants were finished, and he dragged Virgil away from his new toy to show him the finished product.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“Is it supposed to be warm?” Virgil inquired.

“Yes,” Logan replied. “It’s temperature changes based on if the magic on it senses a threat or not. Warmer temperatures mean you are safe.

“Oh,” Virgil said softly, hand squeezing around it. “I like it.”

Logan found himself smiling. “I’m glad. It’s yours.”

“Thank you,” he said.

“If you would like, I’m sure Patton has some suggestions if you’d desire a way to keep it attached to your person. He in particular likes to make them into necklaces or clip them to his clothing.”

Virgil looked over at Patton and nodded shyly. Patton immediately perked up. “I’ll go get some supplies!” he said.

Chapter 14

“So then,” Patton was saying. “We ran to the stables.”

“We went to gazebo first,” Logan cut in.

“Right, we tried to go to the gazebo first,” Patton corrected, “but Mr. Deknis was over there tending to the tomatoes, and we knew he’d tell Mama the second he saw us. So, then we turned around and went to the stables.”

Virgil tilted his head, listening to the story Patton was telling. Patton was not the best storyteller. He tended to get lost in the middle and embellish, though Logan always corrected him. It was still very entertaining to watch though because he got incredibly animated. He’d even toppled himself over in excitement a couple of times.

Virgil squeezed the small pillow he had in his lap. He… wasn’t 100% sure what was going on. Logan and Patton had settled him on the blanket covered ground near Logan’s bed and proceeded to feed him snacks and talk about a lot of different things. It had started with them talking about what they’d done that day, and when Patton had made reference to something Virgil hadn’t understood, the two of them ended up talking about things from their childhood.

Virgil found himself entranced by their stories about playing in and running around the castle. It was all so different from what Virgil had experienced.

“…but, right as we were about to get to the ladder to climb up into the hay loft, Logan tripped!” Patton said, arms whipping around him. “He fell into a container of grain for the horses and it spilled all over the place. He tried to get up but grabbed the edge of the water trough and apparently it wasn’t very secure because it fell over and soaked him. So, then he was wet and covered in grain. He looked hilarious.”

“I did not!” Logan protested, but it did not sound like all of the other times he’d corrected Patton’s stories that night.

Patton looked over at him. “You did! You woke up the cute stable hand and he laughed himself silly at you, and by the time we got you even partially cleaned up, your dad had already found us. That’s how we got caught.”

“I have no recollection of these events,” Logan clearly lied, his cheeks a bit flushed.

“Liar,” Patton claimed. “You complained about picking grain out of your sheets for weeks.”

“No,” Logan growled.

“Yes! It’s okay. It was a good laugh.”

Logan’s eyes narrowed on him, and he looked pissed, but a second later, his expression lightened up. “You know what else was a ‘good laugh’?” he asked.

There was a second of silence before…

“Don’t you dare Logan.”

Logan looked him directly in the eye. “Patton was thirteen,” Logan started, but was interrupted the next moment when Patton lobbed a pillow at his head. Logan grabbed the pillow and leaned forward to smack Patton back with it. “He was thirteen and had just ‘discovered boys’ as his mother and my father called it when they attempted to explain his behavior to me. The focus of said ‘discovering’ at the time was the son of an ambassador from Lamir” who was staying for the summer, a seventeen-year-old boy by the name Bernardo.”

Virgil flinched back as Patton suddenly threw himself across the semicircle they’d made with their bodies to tackle Logan to the ground. He watched as they ineffectually wrestled on the ground for a few seconds before Logan, voice strained continued to speak, while battling Patton’s hands away from his mouth.

“Patton’s only knowledge about flirting… ow… at that point was laughing at everything someone said and touching their arms and shoulders.” Logan managed to flip himself onto his stomach which was a horrible move as far as Virgil was concerned. It put him at a disadvantage to get out of the pin. However, Patton just kept reaching for his mouth and didn’t bare down on his neck to try to cut off his oxygen like Virgil expected. So, perhaps it was a rational move. “Our parents were speaking leaving Patton, Bernardo, and I in the garden,” Logan mumbled into the ground. “Bernardo said something ‘funny’ and Patton went to slap his shoulder while laughing, but shoved too hard… Patton did you just lick my face?!”

“And I’ll do it again if you don’t shut up!” Patton threatened. That was a… weird fighting strategy.

Logan paused to consider his options. “He shoved Bernardo into the fountain and when Bernardo asked him why he did that, he ran away and wouldn’t talk to him the rest of the summer!” Logan rushed out.

Patton reached over and grabbed the nearest pillow, proceeding to whack him viciously in the back of the head. Logan was lucky the nearest object was a pillow and not something any sturdier. “It’s not funny!” Patton yelled, smacking him even more, which was when Virgil realized Logan was laughing despite the pinning and pillow pummeling. “It’s not!” Patton said. “I really liked him!!”

“He was seventeen!” Logan said. “It was never going to happen!”

Patton groaned and rolled off of Logan to lay on his back and stare at the ceiling. “But he had so many muscles,” Patton said. “He probably could have thrown me 10 yards.”

“And that is… a benefit?” Logan asked, rolling over onto his side to face him.

“You don’t. Get me.” Patton tilted his head to look at Virgil. “Anyway,” he said. “That is the story of how I died at 13.”

Virgil stared at him, and Patton’s forehead crinkled looking at him.

“Is something wrong, honey?” he asked.

“What was that?” Virgil asked.

“What was what?”

Virgil just blinked at him. Patton seemed to think for a moment.

“Oh, did you think we were fighting?” Patton asked. “Like, really fighting?”

“You weren’t fighting?” Virgil asked.

“No, sweetie,” Patton said. “We were just playing.” He popped up into a sitting position. “Well, play fighting, but emphasis on play!”

Virgil looked over at Logan for confirmation. “No one is harmed nor was there any intention to harm each other,” he assured.

Patton grabbed the pillow he’d been smacking Logan with. “Like this!” he said. “Bap.” Unlike how he’d smacked Logan ruthlessly, he basically just touched Virgil’s shoulder with it.

Virgil squinted at him.

“Bap!” Patton said again, smacking him again, this time with a little bit more force and on the cheek. Virgil’s nose scrunched up. “Pillow fight!”

“Pillow fight?”

“You try,” he said, pointing to the pillow in Virgil’s lap.

Virgil glanced down at the bands around his wrist. “Um…” he said. “I don’t think I can?”

“Oh, right,” Patton said with a frown. He bit his lip and glanced over at Logan. “Maybe…”

“Ill-advisable,” Logan said.

“But…” Patton said. “Pillow fight.”

“We would have to be very cautious and make sure there were no weapons in the area.”

“No weapons but pillows!”

“Fine,” Logan relented to whatever was going on. “Let’s clear the area.” Virgil watched them with mounting confusion as they removed everything within a few meters radius of him except for pillows and blankets.

“There!” Patton said after a minute. “All done!”

“What are you doing?” Virgil said.

“We’re going to have a pillow fight,” Patton said.

“But I…”

“We’ll temporarily allow your restraints to be in the third setting like when you’re in the closet.”

Were they serious? Were they stupid? Virgil could have killed them dozens of times with the second setting and now they were giving him even more range of motion?

“You have to promise not to try to hurt anyone though,” Patton said. Virgil stared at him dumbly, as Patton held out his pinky finger. “Pinky promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

Patton nodded solemnly. “We lock pinky fingers and make a promise. It’s the most binding promise in the universe.”

Virgil looked at his finger, confused. He’d never heard of that type of deal. “What kind of magic is it?”

“No magic,” Patton said. “Just friendship.” Virgil tilted his head but brought his hand up so Patton could twine their fingers together. “Now, promise you won’t hurt anyone.”

“I promise I won’t hurt anyone,” he said.

“It’s a deal!” said Patton, squeezing Virgil’s finger with his own briefly before drawing away. “I trust you.” Virgil felt a rush of something that was no type of magic he’d ever come into contact before but was definitely far more powerful.

Logan came over to them and waved his hand over the restraints on Virgil. They buzzed slightly and Virgil looked between them. “So, I just hit you with pillows?”

“Try not to hit too hard near the face, and Lo and I should probably take off our glasses before we start, but yeah,” Patton said, taking his glasses off as he said it. It was yet another foolish move on his part. “It’s fun, and it doesn’t hurt.”

“Okay…” Virgil said.

“I will demonstrate,” Logan said as he took a pillow and smacked Patton in the stomach.

“Hey! No fair!” Patton giggled. “We haven’t started yet!” This did not deter Logan however, as he continued to smack Patton with a pillow.

“On the contrary,” he said. “It has started, and we’re getting you first.”

“No,” Patton whined, but the way he crumpled to the ground under the onslaught seemed far too staged to make Virgil worry. He didn’t even try to curl up into a ball or to protect his head, just taking the hits and giggling.

Logan looked up at Virgil and motioned with his head. Virgil inched over and looked down at Patton. Logan slowed for a few moments. “Go on,” he urged.

Virgil bit his lip and reached forward to smack Patton lightly with his pillow which seemed to do nothing to him but renew his peels of giggles. From there, it was easy to continue. Logan picked up the pace of his strikes and he and Virgil proceeded to ‘fight’ Patton until he couldn’t breath through his laughter and pushed the pillows away, curling up on his side to recover.

23897

“No what?” Virgil asked when Patton sat up.

“Now I get vengeance!” Patton said, popping to his feet and smacking Logan in the face. “Help me Virgil!” So, Virgil turned on Logan and he and Patton gave the prince the same treatment. Then, because it was only fair, it was Virgil’s turn, though they were a lot more careful with him then they’d been with each other, and really Patton spent more of the time checking in on Virgil then actually hitting him with the pillow. It was nice. Fun. And when Virgil pushed them away, they pulled back. Then, it was Patton’s turn again and they went around teaming up on each other and sometimes just smacking at each other at random.

Eventually, they slowed, and all ended up laying near each other on the floor.

“Well, that made me hungry,” Patton said, sitting up and stretching. “I asked Mama to make us a bunch of mini sandwiches with different flavors. I’ll go get them.”

He hopped to his feet to walk over to where they’d stored the food earlier in those little glowing magical balls Logan had for food preservation.

Logan and Virgil sat up too, and Virgil offered him his wrists.

“Right,” Logan said with a blink. He made a motion and Virgil could feel the magic weighing down his hands once again. He’d almost forgotten, Virgil thought with an internal sigh. They’d given an assassin free range of motion, had a pillow fight with him, and almost forgotten to restrain him again. What was Virgil going to do with these idiots?

Chapter 15

Patton strolled up to the doors to the royal wing, his arms crossed casually around his middle.

Kalani raised an eyebrow as he approached and gave her the most innocent expression he could. “Whatcha got there, Pat?” she asked.

“Hmm?” he asked, as his sweater squirmed. “What do you mean?”

She considered him for a moment. “Well, I see nothing suspicious here,” she said. “Do you Owen?”

“Nothing,” he replied without hesitation.

Patton grinned at them both.

Kalani leaned in like she was going to tell him a secret. “Who is it?”

Patton made a show of glanced around like he was hiding it from anyone passing by. Then he shifted around to pull up just the bottom of his sweater.

A small black paw reached out from the depths of his sweater and swatted at the air.

“Ah, I see,” Kalani said, reaching out to touch the little paw. “Hello, Mittens.”

Patton giggled as Owen poked the cat’s stomach gently through the sweater, making her wiggle a bit and try to bite him.

“Well,” Patton said. “I better be off with my totally normal sweater.”

Kalani nodded and stepped to the side, and Patton was free to head down the hallway to Logan’s room. Patton knocked on the door with their new extra secret knock and Logan all but ripped open the door. “I’m late. I have to go,” he said, darting past Patton.

Patton smiled, happy that his plan to be running a little late to come watch Virgil had worked so well, even though he felt a little bit guilty about it. He hoped Logan wasn’t late to his meeting, but he also knew that if Logan had noticed Mittens, he wouldn’t have let her into the room.

Virgil was already out of the closet, sitting on one of the chairs. Patton came in and smiled at him. Unlike Logan, Virgil’s attention was immediately drawn to the oddly shaped lump in Patton’s sweater.

“You’re not very good at hiding things,” Virgil said.

“It worked on Logan,” Patton defended himself.

“Logan was about to rocket into space if you didn’t show up in 5 seconds,” Virgil pointed out. Patton just shrugged, and Virgil tilted his head. “What do you have?”

Patton grinned wide and carefully pulled Mittens out of his sweater. She did not resist this maneuver at all, simply purring. He held her up for Virgil to see. “Ta da!”

“A cat?” Virgil said.

“This is Mittens,” Patton said. He then turned to Mittens. “Mittens, this is Virgil. I thought I’d introduce the two of you!”

Virgil blinked at the cat. Mittens blinked back. Patton thought maybe he should have let them sniff each other from under a door before doing this.

He didn’t need to worry though, as Mittens started purring after a moment. “You can pet her,” Patton offered. Virgil looked up at him. “Just…” he said.

“She likes chin scratchies!” Patton prompted.

Virgil reached out a hand to scratch under her chin and that was the end of it. Mittens stretched out her chin happy to get the attention and Virgil’s eyes widened at how soft her fur was. It was a work of minutes before Virgil was sitting down on the floor and Mittens was happily kneading his thighs and spinning around in circles to make sure he pet every inch of her.

“I did not understand why people like cats,” Virgil commented. “All I’ve seen of cats is people coming back with bloody scratches from trying to pet them, so I never even tried.”

“Well,” Patton said. “Cats are just like people. If you’re nice to them, they’re more likely to be nice to you.”

Virgil’s hand paused briefly on the cat’s head, but then continued with the petting a moment later. Patton wondered what he was thinking about, but didn’t press.

“She seems to like you,” Patton said.

“Don’t know why.”

“Hey, don’t be mean.” Patton scolded.

Virgil hands jerked away from the cat he’d been petting and then were forced abruptly to his side in reaction. Mittens meowed, seemed very unhappy with the jostling as well as the sudden lack of petting.

“Sorry,” Virgil said, eyes wide. “What did I do wrong. I didn’t mean to be mean to her.”

It took Patton a moment to sus out what he was talking about and felt a pang in his chest when he did. “Oh, no honey. You didn’t do anything wrong. I meant don’t be mean to yourself.”

Virgil gave him a confused look. Mittens bumped her head against his chin and with a blink, he cautiously went back to petting her.

“Of course, she likes you sweetie, you’re a good boy.”

“I came here to kill the king. I’ve killed before.”

Patton smiled sadly. “I don’t think you ever wanted to,” he said. Virgil seemed to grow very interested in mitten’s ears. Patton scooted over so he was sitting beside him and carefully brought a hand up to touch the top of his head. Virgil sort of curled into him, pressing his face against Patton’s shoulder, but continuing to pet the cat.

“It’s fine. You’re going to be okay now,” Patton said softly.

Virgil shook his head against Patton’s shoulder.

“Yes,” Patton insisted. “You’ll be okay. You won’t have to go back.”

Virgil didn’t respond for a long moment. “You can’t keep me in Logan’s closet forever,” he said softly. “When his dad comes back, you’re going to have to turn me in.”

Well, that was true, but… “It’ll be okay. No one will hurt you.”

“The kings would be assassin?” Virgil asked skeptically.

“Thomas is nice. He’ll understand.”

“He’s nice to you. He’s nice to Logan. Maybe he’s even nice to the people he rules over, but what am I? An enemy assassin who would have slit his throat if I hadn’t gotten the wrong room.”

It…it did sound bad when he put it like that, but, but… “Thomas will understand,” he promised, hugging him tight. “He will, and we’ll keep you safe and I’ll introduce you to every single cat in the castle. In fact, we’ll get you a cat to keep as a pet if you want and he or she can snuggle you as much as you want. I’ll show you all around the gardens and introduce you to Mama and help you figure out what your favorite type of cookie is. You’ll never have to hurt anyone again and no one will ever hurt you again.”

Virgil drew away a bit and shot him a half smile. He clearly didn’t believe him, and it made Patton’s stomach twist a bit. Patton knew. He knew Thomas would be nice. There was no way he’d hurt Virgil. Virgil was just a kid and with Logan and Patton on his side, there was no way anything bad would happen to him. He could see it from Virgil’s perspective though.

“I like her feet,” Virgil said, touching Mittens’ little black paw that contrasted her otherwise white coat. Mittens purred and began kneading his legs again with those paws. “I’m guessing that’s why she’s named Mittens?”

“Yeah,” said Patton softly. “‘Cause she looks like she’s wearing mittens.” Virgil leaned forward to kiss her little head and that little action made Patton’s heart ache for him. He deserved so many kitten kisses. So many.

Patton was determined to make sure he got them.

#proofread stories #not writing

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snowdice · 4 years ago

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Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 28]

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Life is stressful (until Tuesday) and these babies make me happy, so I’m going to work on this and also respond to everyone I haven’t yet today.

Chapter 11