#eddis-not-eeddis

[theragamuffininitiative]

You HAVE to try @freenarnian’s cranberry sauce! Ive made it for…three years now? And it is sooooooooooo good! I wholeheartedly endorse this recipe!

Bless. Too late for this holiday, but maybe I shall try my hand at it for Christmas (I stink at all kitchen tasks so we will see).

Also. @freenarnian how necessary is the onion? XD

[mentacosee]

yeah i'm starting with the Thief!!! our boy is so DRAMATIC. and also very manhandled. it feels like he's an angry kitten constantly being held by the scruff

i'm rereading the queen's thief and, well. my journey with this book has been interesting. the first time i tried, i got bored halfway through. the second time i tried, i sure enjoyed living in the world the author was describing. and now.... everything's in a totally new light. like wow

Are you reading the Thief? Or the whole series? Is it your second read through?

[eddiemunsonspantschain]

The Boyfriend Experience - EM

Author's Note: This is very personal to me. I wrote this about my experieces and facts about myself. Which I know isn't very reader insert friendly but as my friend @boomhauer had said, for all I know, I'm not alone in this. This will be a mini series. Idk how many parts it will have but I wanted to do more than one.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x virgin!reader

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of weight, mentions of being overweight, body image issues, body dysphoria, self deprication, sexual experiences, lack of sexual experience, teasing, angst.

You do not have permission to copy, translate or repost my work onto other sites or social medias. This work is my own and it is owned by me.

Having a large friend group was nice. Nice enough, at least for you. Between the Hellfire boys and the party you were fortunate enough to have many friends. You were close to the party the most over the shared trauma of the upside down and things that go bump in the night. It was easy to be open with them so some topics of conversation didn’t bother you… until certain comments were made. You had never intended to let the information about yourself shift the dynamic of your friendships. At this point in your life, you had reluctantly accepted a fact about yourself when it came to romantic relationships and activities. However, your friend groups learning that you were a virgin even now past graduating high school seemed to change everything. It wasn’t like you wanted to seek out the first willing male participant and ‘get it over with’ as some past friends had told you to do before. You didn’t want that for yourself. It didn’t feel right for you.

The unfortunate thing about it was that no one was into you. That was something you had concluded on your own in your own time. It was either the pudge of your stomach and the squishiness of other parts of your body or simply your personality. You weren’t sure. Maybe it was all of it. You had spent many a time pinching, poking and prodding at your body in the mirror as tears silently slid down your cheeks. Most of the time you avoided reflective surfaces all together as it shattered the illusion of what you thought and wished you looked like. One look in a reflection made your confidence dwindle down to nothing like something small being dropped off of a skyscraper just to shatter on impact at the pavement below. So you wore baggy clothes. Hiding your figure was better than being gawked at for trying to wear clothes other girls, skinnier girls, pulled off effortlessly. The hammer that hit the nail on the head was when you noticed some things. Was it other people’s fault? No, it wasn’t. But when you went out with friends who were deemed more attractive than you and people approached them to talk to them while you stood there, drink in hand. It was hard not to notice. The icing on the cake had been the one time you were left standing at the bar, all your friends off talking to someone in the bar that had approached them while you played with the condensation that dripped down onto the bartop. 

You lacked social experiences. You had never been on a date before, never had a boyfriend either. You had a first kiss at least though it had been a long time ago. How your friends didn’t know this, you had no idea. A rousing game of truth or dare brought this information to light for everyone. The kids weren’t invited as it was an adults only party Steve had decided to throw. The Hellfire boys, Nancy, Robin, Steve, Jonathan and Argyle as well as yourself all sat in a circle with your respective drinks in hand. It had been your turn, so you chose truth, wanting a break for a moment as the dares got more daring as time went on and more alcohol was consumed. Drinking the ‘mega condiment’ as Argyle named it–a mixture of literally every condiment housed in the Harrington fridge–was not on your list of things to drink that night. Especially after seeing Robin gag after taking a sip of it. 

The Harrington house was big enough to house all of you. Not to mention a supplemental bar for when you all ran out of what you brought with yourselves. These ‘adults only’ parties tended to last all night with drinks, food and usually crashing there. At times it was movies or more importantly drinking games that were played at these events. Tonight the stack of playing cards had been retired early in favor of Truth or Dare. Jeff hummed as he thought over what he could ask you. His eyes lit up as he figured out his question. “Who did you lose your virginity to?” He asked you with a grin. It wasn’t uncommon for these question to get more personal and daring the more you all drank. So you weren’t necessarily surprised at the topic but the fact that it had been aimed at you, one of the only single people in attendance. Normally, these embarrassing personal questions were aimed at the couples.

You felt your cheeks warm in embarrassment. As everyone waited for their answer, you simply looked away from Jeff and took a swig from your drink to avoid answering. That was one rule that had been put in place. You could opt out by drinking your drink. No questions asked. Or at least, no requirement to answer.

“Must be embarrassed about who it is.” Gareth chuckled with a small shrug as he drained the last of his beer.

“Or she didn’t lose it at all.” Jeff playfully jokes, but something on your face must have given it away as Jeff’s eyes widened in realization. “You haven’t lost it?!” He gasped.

“How? You’re like… in your twenties.” 

“I just haven’t. Alright?” You practically snapped at Gareth and Jeff.

“Well, have you come close? Like on a date getting hot and heavy with someone?” Steve asked, leaning over to hand Gareth another beer after popping the bottle cap off with his bare hand.

“No… I’ve never been on a date so,” You mumbled into your cup as you took another drink.

“You’ve never been on a date?!” Nancy asked, shock written on her face. “I thought Ethan when we were soph-”

“Yeah. He stood me up and made jokes about it for a week after.” You cut Nancy off with a tight smile. “I’m not girlfriend material, apparently. Now if you’ll excuse me.” You pushed yourself off of the floor and headed for Steve’s kitchen to make yourself another drink. Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment and you could feel tears threatening to breach the barrier of your lower lashes. At times, you could brave the embarrassment of being a virgin at your age. However now again you found yourself longing for something you had not had the privilege of having. Yearning for a connection to someone who likes you for who you are, not necessarily what you look like. When those feelings hit you, it was hard not to be hurt at the realization that you might never have these experiences. You could hear laughter in the other room, the immediate assumption in your fragile state that it was about you. Your lower lip wobbled as you opened the container of cranberry juice, pouring a full glass of it knowing adding more alcohol would make it harder to compose yourself now and you’d like to leave with a shred of your dignity left intact.

“Enough.” You heard Eddie’s voice snap, presumably at the Hellfire boys as he usually reigned them in. You sniffled, wiping at your cheeks quickly before going to grab the hoodie you had abandoned on the back of a kitchen chair earlier. You needed the comfort, shielding your body away before you trudged back into the room of your friends with your mask back on firmly in place.

Since then, things have been different. Your lack of experiences, lack of romance and lack of self confidence were sore spots for you. Some told you you simply weren’t trying hard enough. As if it were that easy to just make people like you. Or want you for more than just what was between your thighs or under your shirt. As if anyone would want to see that. Since the night of the party, the group made it a point to keep certain topics of conversation to a minimum or overall stopping the conversation when you joined the group. As if they didn’t think you would notice. It was hard to ignore that the topics of recent date nights ceased the second you were close enough to them all. With hushed ‘later’s, ‘not now’s and ‘I’ll finish telling you later’s being the main indication when you manage to hear them.

“Okay, I’ll bite.” You sighed as you crossed your arms over the counter of Family Video, looking at Steve and Robin expectantly. You had heard their conversation when you walked in there but when you approached the counter Steve had quickly shushed Robin from talking further. “What are you both talking about?” You asked.

“Nothing, nothing.” Robin waved you off with a smile as she rang up the movie you had brought over.

“I was just telling Robin about my date the other night. After we had dinner we started getting hot and heavy in my car, went to Lovers Lake to have-”

“Shh! Steve, innocent ears! We have to keep her purity intact.” Robin shushed him, smacking him in the chest.

Your face fell. “Excuse me?” You asked Robin in a clipped tone, not bothering to hide your anger and annoyance.

The air had shifted as had the mood. Robin’s face fell as she realized that her joke had not been amusing to you but instead upset you. “It’s just that… No, Y/N. I didn’t mean it like that!” Robin apologized quickly.

You scoffed, pulling your wallet out and throwing cash onto the counter to cover the movie and a packet of Red Vines. “Thanks.” You mumbled, snatching up the movie and a packet of Red Vines before heading out of the store quickly.

—----------

It was movie night. That was the reason for your trip into Family Video that week. The Hellfire group would have a movie night once every week or so. Everyone brought in a movie and you all would decide which ones to watch. You sat on the couch, always having privileges for the couch per Eddie’s orders since in his words: you are the lady here. You sat beside Eddie, sharing your Red Vines with him while he shared his popcorn with you. Since that day in Family Video you hadn’t seen neither Steve nor Robin, actively avoiding both of them. You had mumbled an acceptance of Robin’s apology when she called but hadn’t wanted to see either of them. It got worse though. Almost all of your friends had made a joke about your lack of experience thus far. If there wasn’t a joke about it there was reassurance that didn’t feel so reassuring. Nancy had tried to reassure you that there was nothing wrong with being a virgin still at your age. Eddie, Jonathan and Argyle seemed to be the only ones smart enough to not make any comments about the subject. Something you praised God for. Now it was the end of the week and you were just ready for everyone to move past this once and for all. 

On the screen in front of you was a horror movie. Something you weren’t unfamiliar with. You sighed as you sunk into the couch with Eddie. You watched as two teens snuck away with the intention of having fun with one another and felt your mood sour. You waited for it. Some kind of comment to be passed your way.

“These are always so cheesy and these parts? Boring.” Lucas complained, tossing pieces of popcorn at the screen itself.

“That’s because you’ve never experienced it, Sinclair.” Gareth laughed, nudging the other boy.

“As if he should listen to any advice from you.” Eddie nudged Gareth with his foot.

“I’m full of advice! Good advice!” He argued back with Eddie.

“Suuure you are.” You added, “None of you seem like you’d know what to do anyway. Just fumble and ask where things are.”

“Oh, please!” Freak laughed and grinned at you. “Here’s something we can at least tell you, Y/N.” His tone took on one you would use when speaking to a child, “When a man and a woman love each other, his peepee goes in the hole between your legs. That’s where you put it. In case you didn’t know since you’re still a virgin.”

“Freak, knock it off.” Eddie hissed in his direction.

You didn’t even dignify him with an answer. You stood up, stepping over Gareth and Jeff as you made your way to the door. 

“Y/N?” Eddie called, but you didn’t dare look behind you. Instead, you slid your jacket onto your body, picked up your bag and threw open the door to Eddie’s trailer deciding to leave the movie you rented there.

You hopped down onto the porch, the screen door behind you smacking shut loudly as you bounded off the porch and over to your car. You heard the door open back up behind you and Eddie called out your name again. You ignored him, sliding into your car and peeling away from the trailer park like your ass was on fire. You gripped the steering wheel tightly, ignoring the tears sliding down your cheeks. It was one thing to hear jokes that you were still a virgin. It was another thing to have people demean you thinking you were innocent and didn’t know anything because of it. You weren’t a fucking child. You knew probably more than they did about the female body and what to do. Years of hearing your peers talk about it had been informative enough. 

As soon as you got to your apartment, you shuffled yourself inside and shut the door tightly behind you. You crumbled. You were embarrassed and upset, wanting to just crawl in a hole and forget this week had ever happened. You pulled yourself up, trudging to the bathroom and taking a hot shower before pulling on panties, sweatpants and a tank top deciding to leave the death trap on the floor of the bathroom. You moved to the living room, seeking out a new movie to put on in the hopes it would distract yourself from the disastrous night. You put on one of your favorites before tucking yourself into your couch with your favorite fuzzy blanket and pillow. You only got through about fifteen minutes of the film before there was a knock on your door. You ignored it, favoring pretending you weren’t home or didn’t exist than face whoever was on the other side of that wooden barrier. The knocking came again, harder and more insistent this time.

“Go away!” You called out to the door. You assumed it was Freak, Gareth and Jeff. No doubt sent there by Eddie to apologize for upsetting you. He never let the other guys bother you too much. 

“Open up, sweetheart. It’s me.” The man you thought had sent others to your door was actually the one behind it.

“No.” You called back out. You were thankful that Eddie didn’t make fun of you like the others did or comment on it. But you were embarrassed and felt ugly. 

“Please? I have something for you.” You sighed. Knowing Eddie he would either camp out in front of your door or more likely pick your lock or climb through your window in your bedroom if you didn’t let him in. You pulled yourself up off the couch and went to the door, unlocking it and opening up the door. His smile was wide and bright when you opened the door. His arms were laden with items and he nudged you with his foot. “May I come in?” He asked you, batting his lashes at you.

You stepped aside, letting the lanky metalhead into your home. Eddie moved inside of your apartment quickly and you watched him like he was some foreign entity in your home. Eddie had been in your apartment before but never alone with you. It was always accompanied by one of your friends. He had just never come here by himself. You wouldn’t have thought so though as he effortlessly placed down the items in his arms. He had a pizza box with him, two shopping bags and a backpack on his back. From the plastic bags he pulled out some beer, candy and movies presumably from his own home. “What’re you doing here, Eddie?” You sighed, shutting your door and moving back to your couch. You burrowed yourself under your blanket again, pillow tucked behind your back. “Where are the guys?”

“Well, you left clearly upset, and I kicked the guys out.” Eddie answered nonchalantly. He stopped his movements of sorting out the treats he brought to look at you. “They shouldn’t have said what they said.” He spoke softly, watching you.

You took a breath. “Thank you… You didn’t have to come here though.” You mumbled, crossing your arms.

“I wanted to.” Eddie waved you off. “Now, I’m gonna go change cause we’re having a sleepover. I have your favorite.” He flipped open the pizza box to reveal your favorite toppings. “I will be back!” He took his backpack into your bedroom. You leaned over, assessing the pizza and snacks he had brought with him for you. You took a slice of pizza and gently began munching on it, trying to fight off the negative thoughts about how this food wasn’t good for you and wouldn’t help your situation but only deepen the purple stretch marks on your stomach and thighs.

When Eddie returned, he was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a faded Judas Priest t-shirt. He dropped down onto the couch on the opposite side of you and picked up a slice of pizza, taking a huge bite out of the food. He settled down, wiggling your blanket out from under him to get under the fabric and be comfortable with you. You both sat like that for a while, watching the movie you had put on and eating the pizza. Eventually one of the movies Eddie had brought with him was put on. You both fell into a comfortable silence but you knew it would eventually break.

As the second movie played you were about halfway through it when Eddie finally spoke up. “Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked you, turning his head to look at you. You turned your head to meet his eyes and felt your walls crumble. You wanted to say no… but with Eddie’s gaze on you, it was hard to compose yourself. You flashed back to what happened not too long ago and over the week in general. You didn’t realize that more tears began to slide down your cheeks. “I’m just so sick of everyone thinking I’m innocent just because I haven’t fucked someone. I’m not an idiot. I’m not a child. I fucking know things.” You sobbed quietly, hurriedly wiping at your cheeks. “It’s not my fault I’m not the kind of girl anyone wants.” You felt the couch shift as Eddie moved closer, the weight of his arm falling over your shoulders. He moved your legs over his lap, tucking you into his side as you cried. “They act like it was somehow my choice. Like I haven’t wanted to have a boyfriend, have sex, go on dates, be loved by someone. If it were my choice I would’ve done all those things! But no one is interested in me. How is that my fault?” You babbled on, tucking your face against Eddie’s chest and finding comfort in the smell of him.

“First of all, they were wrong to make you seem like you don’t know shit. Second of all, you are absolutely the kind of girl people want. Smart people who have eyes and aren’t selfish assholes. I know if you had the choice, you would’ve done those things. Clearly, since this upsets you so much, babe. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time.” Eddie spoke softly, his thumb rubbing your skin comfortingly as he spoke.

“Sure, Eddie. Whatever you say.” You murmured, feeling drained from the week itself. A silence fell over the two of you as you felt your insecurities swallow your mind. “Maybe if I was skinnier… prettier. Like Nancy, smart too.” You mumbled. You gasped when Eddie suddenly moved back. You looked at him and he had moved back to stare at you. What shocked you was the anger on his face.

“Do not. Say that.” He spoke sternly, watching you. “There is nothing wrong with you. Your body, your mind, nothing.”

“But-”

“No!” Eddie frowned, a crease forming between his brows as he showed his unhappiness at your lack of self-confidence. “No buts! Yours is phenomenal, by the way.” He was moving before you could even process what you just heard, your cheeks warming when you realized. He was pulling at your legs. You made a small sound as he pulled you til you were laying on your couch. You adjusted the pillow that had once been behind your back to be behind your head instead, deciding to humor Eddie. You knew him well enough that he would say what he wanted to say whether you wanted to hear it or not. He was never shy to share his opinion, sometimes unprompted. “Look,” Eddie moved on top of you. He straddled your thighs as his hair fell over your face like a curtain. Without thinking about it you moved his hair back from his face. “Hi, pretty girl.” Eddie grinned at you. You pouted at him, using one hand to tug on his earlobe. He whined and winced, “Ow.” he mumbled softly. Eddie’s hands moved from holding himself up above you instead favoring to rest his body against yours. You grunt softly at the new weight but it wasn’t bothering you. 

“Eddie, what are you doing?” You huff and Eddie grins back at you.

“Shh. Hold on. I’m gonna give you the boyfriend experience, okay. Let me show you how pretty you are.” He shushed you, moving his hand up to your face. His middle finger gently ran over your forehead, moving down the bridge of your nose. Your eyebrows were creased in confusion as you took in what he was doing but your breath hitched in your throat as his lips pressed between your eyebrows, smoothing the crease away. His soft touch moved down over the tip of your nose down to your cupid’s bow before moving over your cheekbone. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. You were fumbling as you processed the fact that Eddie Munson was kissing your face. His lips followed his finger as he kissed your cheek bone. More kisses followed over your cheek, jaw and chin. 

“Ed-”

“Shhh,” He softly shushed you again, middle finger moving over your top lip before running over your lower lip. You waited, holding your breath. That breath escaped you when Eddie pressed his lips to yours. You knew what to do, of course, pressing your lips back to Eddie’s but truly you were sure you were a horrible kisser. His hand now cupped your cheek as his lips moved against yours like he was trying to show you what to do. Soon you melted in his embrace, just enjoying kissing him. His lips were slightly chapped but soft and you made a mental note to share your cherry lip balm with him so he didn’t crack his lips. Eddie’s lips left yours though and you whimpered softly as he moved away. A breathy chuckle left him. “You have to breathe, pumpkin. Okay?” He murmured, nose nudging yours gently. Then he was moving again. He tucked his head into your neck, peppering kisses against your skin. He kissed over your collarbones before kissing the tops of your breasts. “No bra when you’re at home? I should come visit more often.” He mumbled against your skin, running his nose over your cloth covered mounds. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, a devilish smile on his lips. 

“Gonna come over more often now cause I don’t wear a bra at home?” You scoffed and Eddie nodded against you. 

“Mhm, and cause I can see your nipples through your tank top.” He chuckled and moved his hands down to your hips. His hands moved back up, pushing your tank top up. You reached for his hands but he stopped just under your breasts. “Not going further. I didn’t ask permission yet.” He murmured and shuffled down your body. His nose nudged gently at your stomach, admiring the pudginess that was there. He began scattering kisses over your soft flesh. Over stretch marks ranging from soft pink, barely there to fresh purple ones. You squirmed a little under him, cheeks warming in embarrassment and self consciousness. “You’re so cute.” He mumbled against your skin, looking up at you. You pouted, feeling tears tug at your lashes again. “No crying, baby.” He murmured, “Not wanting to make you feel bad. Just wanna admire you.” You sniffled, gently wiping at your eyes as you nodded down at him. You were unsure of Eddie’s plan. Why he was doing this and how far he was going to go but you were going to give him his time, enjoying the limited attention he was affording you.

Eddie waited for you to calm down before he continued. He kissed over your hips, hands moving to pull your sweatpants down slightly. He pulled the material down over your legs, setting them aside and you froze again. He bypassed your panties which made you pout a little but you knew Eddie had a plan. His kisses continue over the tops of your thighs before moving to kiss the sides of them. He lifted one of your legs, lips moving down your calf and over your ankle before he kissed the top of your foot. When he was satisfied that he had covered you in enough kisses he grabbed your sweatpants and pulled the material back over your legs and settled himself on top of you again once you were clothed again. Eddie had laid himself so his head rested at your neck. One arm snaked under your body while his other hand moved to gently run his fingers through your hair. 

“You can call me crazy if you want,” Eddie mumbled against your skin. “But what if I gave you the boyfriend experience. Doesn’t have to go anywhere. Just… show you what you’re missing.” 

You blinked, thinking over Eddie’s suggestion. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Eddie. You liked him a lot especially once you saw the soft side of the scary looking metal head. You figured you weren’t his type despite the affection he’d shown you tonight. So what was the harm in taking him up on gaining some experience? You hummed softly and stroked your fingers through his hair. “Yeah… I’d like that.” You murmured quietly, feeling the smile that spread over his lips before he pressed a kiss to your throat. 

Eventually the two of you moved so you could enjoy the slightly cold pizza Eddie had brought you both. The two of you ate most of it, tucking the rest into the fridge. You yawned gently as you packed up the snacks and Eddie’s hands gently grabbed at your arms to stop you. He steered you towards your room, shutting the tv off on the way. Inside your room you crawled into bed and laid on your side, figuring Eddie would help himself to wherever he wanted to sleep. The bed dipped beside you and Eddie shuffled closer to you. “An important part of the boyfriend experience, cuddling.” He murmured as he pressed himself to your back. He tangled his legs with yours, holding onto you. You could feel that he had shed his shirt before climbing into bed with you. His hand rested on your belly and you resisted the urge to move it. You didn’t even like touching your own belly but someone else touching the area made you want to crawl out of your skin. After a few minutes though you relaxed enough, gently falling asleep in his arms.

—----------------------------------------

The next morning you had woken up still in Eddie’s embrace. He was holding onto you tightly, gentle snores falling from his lips. You picked up his arm, attempting to wiggle free from his hold at first until he tightened his arm around you further. You huffed but smiled, picking up his arm again and getting free. You padded out of your room to the kitchen and started to brew some coffee. You grabbed what you needed to make some simple bacon and eggs for you both, humming as you did so. As you added some cheese into the eggs you heard him before you felt him. He had just managed to step on one of the creaky floor boards. Eddie’s arms wrapped around you and his head found home on your shoulder. 

“You left me,” He mumbled against your skin.

“I made breakfast.” You answered, plucking up a piece of bacon and offering it to him.

Eddie lifted his head and bit into the bacon, chewing thoughtfully. “All is forgiven.”

You chuckled and shook your head, finishing the other half of the strip of salty pork before returning to moving the eggs around. Eddie removed himself from you to grab the plates you set aside for you both. He held both as you scooped some eggs onto the plates before placing bacon strips onto them. Eddie took them to the table as you popped toast into the toaster and started to make your cup of coffee. Once all the food was ready you both sat down to eat. You found your eyes wandering to the boy that sat beside you. Eddie’s hair was a frizzy mess from sleeping with it loose last night. His torso and arms were toned and not overly muscular. You figured he lifted a lot of heavy things having heard he worked at a mechanics shop now. Blotches of scars were on his arms and torso from where the demobats had feasted on his flesh but you didn’t find them repulsive. It made Eddie look rugged in a way. Even if his nipple and his chest tattoos had suffered because of it. His rings were absent, most likely sitting on your bedside table now.

“Like what you see?” 

You moved your eyes away from Eddie’s chest to look at his face. He smiled at you. A kind, warm smile like you guys had known one another a long time. His big chocolate orbs watched you carefully but as he shifted the sun caught his eyes, turning them amber. You chuckled at the scrunch of his nose and the squint of his eyes as they were invaded by the sun. You stood up, moving to your window and pulling the sheer curtains together. “I like natural light.” You told him, returning to your seat. 

Eddie hummed, picking up your hand and kissing your knuckles. “Thank you for breakfast.” He murmured with another bright smile.

“You brought me dinner last night. It’s only fair.” You reason with a small shrug. When you finish your meal you put your plate in the sink and refill your mug before retiring to your couch once again under your blanket. Eddie joins you moments later, slipping under your blanket and shifting closer to you, arm around your shoulders. You turned the TV on, finding something to watch as you sip your coffee. You only look away when a gentle tap comes to your chin and you turn your head, Eddie lips pressing to yours. 

“Forgot to properly tell you good morning.” He murmured against your lips.

You feel your face warm, kissing Eddie again. “Good morning,” You murmured.

“Good morning,”

—-------------------------

You and Eddie spent the day together. You watched TV, made lunch and finally talked about what you would both be doing. Eddie offered a no strings attached experience, explaining that he would provide you with the experience of what it was like to have a boyfriend and whatever else you might like at no cost to you besides your time.

“You don’t want anything?” You asked, raising a brow at the boy.

Eddie nodded his head. “Nothing.”

“There has to be something you want to be doing this.”

Eddie hummed and shook his head again. “I’m getting it already.”

“What?”

He smiled at you and reached for your hand. “What I want… is you.” He murmured, “Stupid, I know. Me being an option but I’m happy just… filling the role for you. Til you find what you want.”

That was the thing. You didn’t know what you wanted. You wanted to be loved, yes. Someone who wanted you. Which Eddie claimed he was that person. Someone who wanted you. That was something difficult for you to grasp. Why would someone want somebody as imperfect as you are? You were a burden, an issue. Or simply just the thing in the corner that was easily ignored. You simply nodded at Eddie’s words though and leaned over, pressing your lips to his even if you didn’t believe a word he said.

.

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[whenthegoldrays]

rogerhamleys -> @whenthegoldrays

some quick tags for the mutuals who’ve joined recently: @madamescarlette @rj-anderson @eddis-not-eeddis <333

[ed-died688]

No i I LOVE THE BEACH SCENE SO MUCH WHAT THE HELL

IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH THE DELETED ONE BUT STILL THIS ONE IS SO FNFKFJEFNENFNJSJFJWJFJEJJDKS MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!

-ITS RIGHT AFTER THE SCENE WHERE VENOM SAID HE HAD TO GO OR SOMETHING BUT Y'KNOW WHAT?!!? EDDIE FREAKIGN STAYED WITH HIM AND WENT TO THE BEAACHHHHHH

-EDDIE REMMEBERED THE "I WANT TO FEEL THE SAND BETWEEN MY TOES!!!!" THING VENOM WAS TALKING ABOUT AT THE START

^AND THE HAIR THING HE MENTIONS IT

-venom BASICKLALY SAYS HE LOVES EDDIE EVEN WITH ALL OF HIS FLAWS

THEN EDDIE POINTS OUT VENOM BASICALLY SAID 'I LOVE YOU'

VENOM DIDNT DENY THAT HE JUST SAID "UHM" ??!??!?!??? AND FNKGIGN MOVED ON??!?!?!

-eEDDIE ADMITS HE MEANT THE "WE ARE THE LETHAL PROTECTOR" THINGY IN THE FIGHT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS

HE WAS GENIUne

THEY ARE THE LETHAL PROTECTOR TOEGETHER

THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR SYMBIOSIS I DONT KNOW WHAT IM SAYING

-THEN LOVE WILL TEAR US APART PLAYS (WOW IT WAS LTBC'S ORIGINAL TITLE) AND THEY GO WATCH A TELENOVELA IN MEXICO I DONT KNOW

ALSO VENOM LOOKS LIKE HALF A HEART, NOW WHERE IS EDDIE'S HALF

[healerqueen]

Tag Game: How Cuddleable Are Your OCs?

Rules: Answer the above question using a scale from 1-10 and include context!

Thanks for the tag, @freenarnian! It's taken me forever, but I didn't forget. This should be interesting to explore.

Arienna, 7/10: She's affectionate with the right people, but she can be a little aloof and distant. She's very sweet, and she is willing to give and receive affection with her family, especially her father, Roger, and a few other people. But often she puts up walls when she's feeling vulnerable, instead of seeking out affection. Sometimes people perceive her as existing in another world, a little bit remote and inaccessible. When she's in that sort of mood, she's less huggable.

Thalia, 6/10: She's very affectionate with a very small number of people--the few family members with whom she acknowledges love and loyalty. But to everyone else, she would be extremely prickly, wild, and easily angered. Later in the series, she changes and becomes a healthier person who is very physically and emotionally affectionate. She's more well-adjusted and happy all-around, in that season.

Roger, 7/10: He can be very affectionate and warm, even though he outwardly appears to be a tough, unemotional type. In fact, physical affection is the only way he feels comfortable giving and receiving affection and warmth--though now that he's a veteran father, he pushes himself to do it in other ways as well, for the sake of his family. He would probably initiate affection only when it seems like it's needed and welcomed, but when people need it, he gives affection.

Luke, 10/10: He's at the top of the cuddle scale. Luke is the big brother who is always ready with a hug, a grin, a joke, and a kind word. And he gives the best hugs.

Bran, 8/10: Bran has been alone in the world for much of his life, but when he has people in his life to be affectionate with, he can be very affectionate. He tends to be reserved in public and warm in private.

Jason, 1/10 -> 9/10: Jason begins the series in a dark place, surrounded by a cold and hostile environment. It's been years since he was loved or had anyone to love. He's tried to become emotionless and cold to avoid pain. He's definitely not cuddly. (Besides, hugs are uncool.) But deep down he needs healing and love. Later, he grows and heals, and he slowly warms up and begins to receive love. At first, love and affection surprise him, and he doesn't know what to do. He reacts awkwardly, and he's stiff and uncomfortable. But he learns to receive affection and re-learns to give affection as well. He becomes very affectionate and even happy. A healthy Jason is very affectionate. Bethan, 9/10: The soft, warm, wise surrogate mother everyone needs. Not everyone has a hugging relationship with her, but she'd welcome anyone with affection if they needed and wanted it.

Marcus, 2/10: He's the tough, crusty type who is usually not affectionate. However, his papa wolf tendencies include a fierce love and affection for his family. He is affectionate with his wife Merryth and his children, Thalia and Luke.

Merryth, 3/10: Merryth can be harsh and prickly, but she might be affectionate if she was in the right mood. She values efficiency and perfection, and she probably doesn't make time to give and receive affection most days. She can be affectionate with her husband if she's in the right mood, but she's not a very affectionate mother most of the time.

Bonus - Daeren and Evan, 1/10: The last two members of my main characters' family are prickly, standoff-ish, awkward and unhuggable--each in a very different way. Tagging @oldfashionedbooklove @lover-of-the-starkindler @e-louise-bates @eddis-not-eeddis and anyone who wants to do it.

[faeriefully]

Tag 9 people game (whoops @novelmonger tagged me almost exactly a year ago)

Last song: "Overcome” by Nothing But Thieves

Last movie: … uh… um… La La Land? I think? Idk it’s been a while. Wait no, it was the Deaf Missions: Jesus movie

Currently watching: … Critical Role: C2 Mighty Nein… Frieren (but in Spanish this time)

Currently reading: Show Me Your Glory by S. Lawson, The Woman I Kept To Myself by Julia Alvarez, Powerless by Lauren Roberts

Last thing researched for writing purposes: Euphemisms for Death in Spanish

Tagging: @thisbibliomaniac @msburgundy @snowsalive @she-is-amused @parlaypeach @thejonderettegirl @knowledgetosorrow @eddis-not-eeddis @rin-fate @turretty

[isfjmel-phleg]

For reference

Closet Cosplay of 2022 (friends' choice):

Anne of Green Gables (from the 1980s series)

Vintage AU Merian (lady-merian's OC)

Nezka Sorkina (scarvenartist's OC)

Kon-El (gender-flipped)

Vintage Alice in Wonderland

Morwen (eddis-not-eeddis's OC)

Harriet Vane

Greta Hayes

Howl Jenkins

Constance Contraire

Halloween costume for Rietta (my OC)

Vintage Batgirl

Closet Cosplay of 2021 (friends' OCs):

Renee Rant (allieinarden)

Icarus Bancroft (gender-flipped) (awesomebutunpractical)

Pauline Gray (e-louise-bates)

Tanza (fictionadventurer)

Merian (lady-merian)

Agnes Sweetheart (lover-of-the-starkindler)

Hetty Brown (praise-the-lord-im-dead)

Ivy (rj-anderson)

Cazda Sorkina and (gender-flipped) Kiro Velkhirin (scarvenartist)

Silence Williams (why-bless-your-heart)

[theragamuffininitiative]

82, Spotify wrapped :)

Hullo hullo!

Song number 82 is "Best Day of My Life" by American Authors. Really needed some upbeat jams this year and slightly nostalgic alt-rock never disappoints. 👏

[whenthegoldrays]

I love Hometown Cha Cha Cha! We actually started rewatching it last night 😆 And EAW was my first k-drama so I also have a soft spot for it like you do for MIHY :)

Thanks for answering! <3 It's funny how your explanation for your number one pick is "I can't stand this guy and I enjoy his pain" hdkskdkj

What are your top 5 k-dramas? (Actually, I'd been meaning to ask you this for a while and your latest post reminded me)

Mmmmmm. I don't have that many favorites...or I should say, I wouldn't watch very many of them again. I've finished quite a few out of sheer stubbornness (I even finish books I hate) and a determination to complete my vocab bingo, but there were a few that were charming and/or very fun that I would consider re-watching.

Among them:

Bad and Crazy - If work gets any worse in the upcoming month this one is going on the re-watch list, because watching the lead get beaten up during every episode was extremely cathartic. (I don't like the lead, in case you can't tell.)

Extraordinary Attorney Woo - I didn't like all of the episodes, but this one was just so cute. I loved that so many of the characters were just genuinely decent people. It took some of them a while to make their way there, but by the end most of them were making good decisions. I liked that.

Cafe Minadang - Okay, I am definitely biased, because my favorite Korean pansori singer sings the theme song...nevertheless, I found that I really enjoyed this one. A lot more than I thought I would. It never took itself too seriously and that was refreshing.

May I Help You - This one was the very first K-drama I watched when I started looking for material to practice. I didn't expect anything from it. I've tried watching Spanish tv shows when I was learning Spanish and I hated every single thing I watched, and I really hate C-dramas, so I was sure I'd loathe it. I was pleasantly surprised. It's not the very best show, but it's a little nostalgic now for me. The Golden Princess and I bawled our eyes out on that last episode. Gracious.

Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha - I didn't actually like the main character, but I love slice of life stories, and this one was nice and sweet, and also rather funny. The Golden Princess and I were rooting so hard for the romance subplot for the side characters.

[thebirdandhersong]

After talking to @eddis-not-eeddis about Korean music, I thought I'd put together a list of Korean music that carried me through the last years of high school/first year uni :)

I listened to mostly kpop (and some r&b/indie/rap/alternative/pop rock) near the end of high school, but it became too tiring to listen to, and I became more interested in other genres of Korean music. I've linked a few of my favourite albums below, but most of those artistts have grown in name and (relative) fame since I began listening to them. Here are a a few more recommendations (some of which are smaller/lesser known artists, some of which have big presences in the industry):

Acoustic indie: OKDAL, Han All, Kim Na Young, Standing Egg, Lucid Fall, Sugarbowl, J Rabbit, Urban Zakapa

R&B: Zion.T, Zico, HYUKOH, Heize, GSoul, Ra.D, Crush, DEAN

Ballads: Ji Jin Seok, Park Hyo-shin, Jeong Sewoon, Kim Jin-ah, ONEW, Jung Seung Hwan, Paul Kim

Bands: Martin Smith, LUCY (they have a VIOLINIST !!!), The Rose

Indiepop/pop artists who branched out to different genres: Minseo, Chen, AILEE, BOL4, Sandeul, ONEW, Jonghyun, Monogram, Roy Kim, Lee Hi

Sam Kim's Sun and Moon was THE album of the year in grade 12. Every single track on this album is memorable. Sam Kim (from Seattle!) is signed under Antenna Music, whose other artists are worth checking out, too, if you're interested in unconventional, unique indie music (Antenna's whole brand is letting the artists explore their own tastes and interests; it's a whole agency of singer-songwriters). Sam Kim himself is an excellent guitarist, and likes to dabble every once in a while in other genres (r&b, ballads, pop) and has performed singles for k-drama soundtracks in the past. First song rec: It's You for a relaxed indiepop sound, NO SENSE from his album I AM SAM for a demonstration of his guitar picking style.

Lee Jin-ah is also at Antenna Music. When she arrived on the music scene with her voice and her piano, even big names like JYP (which is one of the "Big Three" pop music companies) were scrambling to offer her a contract. Her jazz piano background brings something very distinctive to the Korean music industry; she combines that with r&b and bubblegum pop influences, which is a really interesting contrast with her light, airy, fairy-like voice :) First song rec: RANDOM (a good intro to her eclectic style), Let's Go Camping (a slower acoustic/piano track that displays her whimsical sound in a softer way).

Eddy Kim's acoustic stuff is pretty good easy listening. I listened to his music constantly in high school. He's less experimental in his music style than Sam Kim, for example, but when he sticks to his brand (guy with guitar and a regular percussive beat) he comes up with some really good music. First song rec: 2 years apart or The Manual

AKMU (Akdong Musician) is probably the only big name company musician I still follow/listen to. They signed with JYP when they were in their mid-teens -- JYP is the only one among the Big Three companies that branches out from mainstream pop the most. AKMU is a brother-sister duo that creates quirky, whimsical indie-pop music with a very distinctive sound (they often sing together; the sister is an incredible vocalist and the brother is the one who composes and produces). More recent music has either gone electro-pop or acoustic based indie. I've added two albums here (one from their teenage years, one more recent) as a nice comparison. You can hear how their style has changed over the years! First song rec: How People Move (a funky, energetic title track), Time and Fallen Leaves (ballad), Last Goodbye (they incorporated a familiar classical music song into this in a very creative way)

Last of all, someone who technically is part of the pop scene in Korea, but whose sound is more memorable to me. IU's charm is the versatility in her voice; she's experimented with many genres in her extensive career (she was a child star). Musical theatre, jazz, singsong rap, ballads, bubblegum pop, electropop, indiepop, acoustic indie, alternative....... she's literally done it all (well. Aside from rock, metal, and traditional folk music). LILAC is one of her more recent albums (for a more acoustic indie sound, I'd recommend Palette). First song rec: LILAC (this is a pretty good example of the unique things she brings to the kpop scene: a theatrical, refreshing sound), My sea (a kdrama OST-style ballad that demonstrates her vocal ability and range), Through the Night from her Palette album (soft relaxing acoustic song)

[dimsilver]

tagged by @lady-merian, thank you!!

Rules: answer the questions and tag some friends at the bottom!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Sort of the biblical Elizabeth and the English Queen (both of them?), but also my parents just liked the name. We found out later it was a family name way back as well.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Two days ago - when I ended my relationship :/ (for those of you who didn’t already know, yes it was awful, but also yes, I’m doing okay). I don’t usually cry much though; it just isn’t in my soul to sit in sadness.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope! Would love to have some someday, though. I did also help a lot with my youngest siblings and still tuck them into bed and read to them at night when I’m home :)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I use it in moderate amounts - gentle sarcasm with friends and family and sarcastic happiness when things are going badly but you have to make this best of it (this is just great).

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Probably eyes? I make eye contact a lot, esp when first getting to know people.

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue/green (looks more like one or the other depending on what I wear).

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings (but not saccharine ones).

8. Any special talents?

I don’t know about that…I think I’m decent at a lot of my hobbies (see below) but not remarkable. Oh, I guess I can whistle a grass blade pretty well :)

9. Where were you born?

I’m not going to say the specific city, but Texas :)

10. What are your hobbies?

Okay I’m just going to rapid-fire these in a rough order - painting, writing, singing, dancing, photography, archery, running around in the rain, LARPing (just at Weekend Warrior), general enjoyment and pursuit of flowers and nature and sunsets.

11. Have you any pets?

No (also I love how formally this question is worded). We asked my parents and they said there’s enough animals in the house already 😉

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

Soccer (5 years; I was pretty bad), gymnastics (3 or 4 years; I was okay at it), swimming (10 summers; I was okay at it); ultimate frisbee (informally for a long time; I’m decent).

13. How tall are you?

5’11” (and 3/4 of an inch; it’s quite frustrating to be so close to 6’ but not get there)

14. Favorite subject in school?

That’s hard! I usually love most types of learning. I guess my two favorite college classes were Art History and C.S. Lewis Literature (I know!!!).

15. Dream job?

I’m not sure? I love writing and currently do journalism for a job, but while I love creative writing more I’m not sure I would want to commit to it as my full-time employment. I’d love to be a mom and homeschool my kids. I’ve also thought it would be awesome to be a museum docent or a historical interpreter or a full-time Christian summer camp staffer…

Tagging: unfortunately I have no idea which of my mutuals has and hasn’t done this and who would like to (except for those I saw tagged by called-kept), so here’s a few - but please consider yourself tagged if you want! @accidental-spice @loveliness-and-prattle @kanerallels @noblemaidenfell @catkin-morgs @cunningfate @wanderingwolpertinger @eddis-not-eeddis @swinging-stars-from-satellites @brown-little-robin

[thisbibliomaniac]

Anybody know what these are for? @eddis-not-eeddis ?

[elephantaday]

I posted 295 times in 2022

That's 295 more posts than 2021!

293 posts created (99%)

2 posts reblogged (1%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@afeelgoodblog

@eddis-not-eeddis

I tagged 295 of my posts in 2022

#elephant - 294 posts

#not my image - 294 posts

#cuteness - 294 posts

#cute animals - 294 posts

#image of the day - 293 posts

#wildlife - 293 posts

#elephants - 290 posts

#cuteness overload - 289 posts

#nature - 289 posts

#adorable - 287 posts

Longest Tag: 91 characters

#i also keep accidentally reblogging things on this account that i meant to do on my main xp

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Day 134 of posting pictures of elephants.

263 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

#4

Day 150 of posting pictures of elephants.

287 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

#3

Day 48 of posting cute pictures of elephants.

322 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

#2

Day 189 of posting pictures of elephants.

393 notes - Posted August 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Day 164 of posting pictures of elephants.

408 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Here's the elephants you guys liked the most this year! (Day 319 of posting pictures of elephants!)

[dragonanne4fun]

I posted 1,760 times in 2022

That's 565 more posts than 2021!

7 posts created (0%)

1,753 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shenzi-hemlock

@lady-merian

@wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever

@eddis-not-eeddis

@she-is-amused

I tagged 1,411 of my posts in 2022

Only 20% of my posts had no tags

#funny - 108 posts

#ahsoka tano - 61 posts

#tales of the jedi - 42 posts

#lotr - 37 posts

#captain rex - 33 posts

#the clone wars - 27 posts

#the bad batch - 27 posts

#stargate sg1 - 26 posts

#tales of the jedi spoilers - 26 posts

#the elder scrolls - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#do you know how many times i've flipped to a random page because i didn't know what to read and it was like god slapped me upside the head?

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

There have been so many times where this song was my prayer to God. I've sung it in the car as I've driven back to school after a weekend at home, crying, feeling lost and scared and a little hopeless because I had no clue where God was taking my life or what would happen after college. I've sobbed it while out for a drive just needing to get away because I was struggling with feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, loneliness, and hopelessness. So many times this song has been my plea. But also my pledge. Singing along, from my heart, telling God that I CHOOSE His hope, even if I don't feel it.

2 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

#4

I had a VERY vivid dream about cotton candy this afternoon. Being sick is weird.

2 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

#3

From my dearest @madivandoren who kindly reminded me my asks weren't turned on 😅🤣 (they are now😘)

asks are turned off, but for the Spotify wrapped: 17, 47, and 64 (my fave numbers) :)

17: "Carry You" by Ruelle, Fleurie

47: "Five Foot Three" by Flannel Graph

64: "Exeunt" by The Oh Hellos

Yep, all good songs 🎵

4 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#2

In s1e11: “Devil’s Deal”, Crosshair is shown chewing a toothpick again. I don’t remember him doing that the entire time he was under the influence of the inhibitor chip, and this is the first episode where we see him after it gets blasted. That is the kind of brilliant symbolism and visual cues I love to see in storytelling.

36 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Did I wake up and immediately watch Tales of the Jedi. Yes. Yes, I did. And you know one of the things I loved most?

It feels right.

What do I mean? Well, it feels like these stories, these characters and situations and scenes have always been a part of The Clone Wars. It feels like I'm just rediscovering episodes that have always existed in the canon of the show that I loved as a kid and a teen. They fill in little cracks--little breathing spaces of mystery between the moments I watched growing up. Nothing seems out of place, forced, or unusual. It very much feels like the work of George Lucas' team.

And I love that.

I adore The Bad Batch, and it certainly feels like the successor, if you will, to The Clone Wars. And I love how TBB sort of fills in certain cracks and spaces between TCW and Rebels, linking the two even more concretely. But it still feels very different from TCW. Different, not bad.

But that's not what Tales of the Jedi felt like. It was The Clone Wars. Just more stories that feel like they've always been there, we've just never seen them.

Well done, Dave and team. Well done.

199 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[whenthegoldrays]

Thank you for the tag @abookishnerdheree! (Sorry, I'm making a separate post instead of reblogging bc the original has some swearing in it)

I started watching k-dramas late last year and got addicted very quickly. My favorite ones are "Live Up To Your Name" and "Crash Landing On You"

I really love jazz! I have four different jazz playlists and I always listen to one of them as I'm falling asleep.

My OTP of all time is Jo March and Friedrich Bhaer from Little Women.

I'm starting college this month and majoring in Video and Post Production.

The 9 in my username is a reference to my favorite Taylor Swift album, evermore 🤎

Uhhh you're my only mutual, so I'll just tag a couple of people I follow 😅 I'm tagging @eddis-not-eeddis and @thelasttime!