#eddies not really a fan but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him

[ladykailitha]

A Love Connection Part 6

Woohoo!! We're really into the thick of it now. Everything is going to heat up from here. Again, heads up for the spicy talk.

In this we have the second half of round one and all of round three getting to the two that earned dates.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

~

Steve had a stack of questions on his lap and was sorting through it to decide which questions to ask each Suitor, once he was ready, he nodded to Bob.

“Welcome to the heart to heart where our Catch gets to delve deep with each Suitor and get to the real meat of each one. Each Suitor will be asked five questions over the course of the round and their answers rated.”

“Billy if music was played every time you walked into a room,” Steve asked, “what would it be and why?”

“‘Bringing Sexy Back’ by Justin Timberlake,” Billy replied. “Because wait until you see me.”

Steve fanned himself with one of the ranking boards. Each little sign was round with a number from one to three on them. A number one got three points and so on. “Three points for sure!”

Bob wagged his eyebrows. “Hell, yeah. I’ve seen him and yeah, definitely not beating the allegations.”

The audience wolf whistled and cheered.

“Tommy, who is the best famous Chris?” Steve asked. He was starting slow, getting a feel for their answers.

“Evans,” Tommy said. “Those blue eyes and chiseled jaw? Smoking hot, man.”

“That is Hemsworth erasure!” Bob protested. “And I won’t stand for it!” He stomped his foot and pouted.

Steve leaned into the microphone. “The correct answer is Pine. Have you seen him lately? He is a complete silver fox these days!”

The audience seemed to agree with Steve as they whistled and cheered for that response.

“Doesn’t hurt he was in both Star Trek and the D&D movie,” Eddie added brightly.

Steve laughed. “That too! I’m going to give Tommy two points for that one because Evans is pretty easy on the eyes.”

“How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?” Steve asked, trying to stifle a giggle. He didn’t quite manage. Most because Eddie started giggling too.

“One,” then a licking sound, “two,” then a another licking sound, “three,” another licking sound, “CRUNCH!” He giggled again. “Three!”

The audience politely clapped and Bob winced. “Well that dates this crowd, ouch! Do yourselves a favor and look up Toostie Pop owl. You’ll thank me later!”

Steve laughed, his nose scrunching in amusement. “Yay! I was really hoping you were going to do it that way. Three points for sure.”

“I aim to please.” It was said in a lower octave that sent a shiver down Steve’s spine as if the that wasn’t the only thing he aimed to do.

“Billy,” Steve said clearing his throat. “What is your favorite thing to watch on a lazy Sunday morning?”

“I usually like to catch whatever game is on,” Billy said, then paused. Steve could imagine him licking his lips. “Or if there is two of us, nothing like a porno to get the engines running if you know what I mean.”

Bob wagged his eyebrows. “Someone likes getting a little action. Very nice.”

Steve on the other hand was bright red. He shuffled through the number signs. “Two points.” Looked down to hide how much the comment embarrassed him.

“Tommy,” he said roughly, “if you were in a relationship right now, who would be your celebrity pass?”

“What’s that?” Tommy asked confused. “I’m not sure what that is.”

Bob smirked at the camera. “Well, Tommy it’s if you were in a committed relationship and there was a famous person who wanted to sleep with your significant other for just one night, who would that be for you? Like between me and my wife, if Winona Ryder wanted to sleep with me, I would get a free pass to sleep with her without my wife saying I cheated on her. Hers is Chris Hemsworth.”

Tommy laughed. “Yeah, all right. I get it now. We all know Stevie’s would be Chris Pine.” Steve blushed again. “Um...Michael Sheen in his Lucian from ‘Underworld’ leathers. Hell yeah.”

“Three points because hell yeah,” Steve agreed.

“Eddie, what is one thing everyone should try once?” Steve asked. This was Mike’s question and the last one from the kids.

“D&D,” Eddie said. “Pick any edition that makes you feel comfortable but for beginners I would definitely avoid anything pre-2000 as it’s a lot harder, but just let someone you trust run a game for you get you involved in the process and see how you like it.”

Steve and Bob shared a look of amazement at his answer, they were both expecting something a little more deep, but instead it was quirky and fun.

“Three points for sure,” Steve said, more than a little awed. “Some of the kids in my classes play it and they would love to meet someone as passionate about it as they are.”

“Hey,” Eddie said warmly, “even if this gig doesn’t work out, give me a call and I’ll happily come run a game for your kids.”

Steve blushed even harder. How was he supposed to recover from that? “I might just take you up on that.”

“Any time,” Eddie positively purred.

Bob grabbed one Steve’s signs as the audience laughed to Bob fanning himself with the number one.

“Did it just get hot in here?”

“Right!” Steve said with forced cheer, trying to move this along. “Billy if you had the chance to relive one day of your life what would it be and why?” He figured that was a safe enough question. Or at least enough of distraction from how hot this Eddie was sounding.

“Oh that’s easy,” Billy said, low and dark. “My twenty-fifth birthday, I had low, slow, deep sex with twins from Morocco. We fucked all day. Man, those boys could bend.”

“Jeez,” Bob huffed, “how do you sleep if you’re getting so much sex?”

“With my dick in their ass or their mouth on my dick,” Billy said darkly.

As much as Steve would like to say that was unexpected, it was really wasn’t. Not coming from Billy. But he also knew that he was just as much of horn dog. “Two points.” The two sign was getting a lot of use today.

Billy chuckled. “I’ll convert you yet, Steve. Just give me the chance and I’ll blow your world. I would love to fuck you slowly, baby.”

“Wow,” Bob said and then pursed his lips, cocking his head to the side. “That was certainly something.”

Steve’s left hand fisted his slacks as he tried to tramp down on his embarrassment yet again. “Tommy, what would you make for breakfast for a date who spent the night for the first time?”

Tommy let out a low whistle. “That’s a good one. I would make chocolate chip pancakes with real maple syrup from Vermont with scrambled quail eggs, and freshly cut pork shoulder bacon. For the drink you can either freshly squeezed orange juice, without the pulp of course or Colombian coffee home ground with just a hint of vanilla.”

“That’s certainly a fancy spread,” Bob replied, he turned to Steve. “And how would we rank his answer?”

Steve grimaced. He hated all that pretentious stuff. Just give him buttered toast and a cup of hot coffee and he’d love them forever. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “One point. I’m just a middle school teacher from Indiana. I don’t need anything fancy.”

He closed his eyes as the silence stretched a little thin. Then Bob was clearing his throat. His eyes shot open. Right. He had a show to finish.

“Eddie,” Steve said, throwing out the previous question about a road trip, “how do you feel about kids?”

“Can you clarify?” Eddie asked softly. “Like do I want them? Or just kids in general?”

Steve blushed at his warm tone. He had never blushed so much in his life. He cleared his throat. “Well it was kids in general, because you wanted to come DM for a few of them, but you can answer the former, too if you wanted.”

Bob’s eyes went wide as he turned to the camera and the audience oohed.

“That’s fair,” Eddie said with a laugh. “I love kids. I love their devious little minds. DM’ing for kids is more fun because they’ll come up with the weirdest shit imaignable to get out of the most mundane situations. I just love that. Little girls are scary in that regard though. They’ll befriend the local wolf pack and the next thing you know, they’ve taken over the world.”

Steve laughed. Yeah, that tracked from what he saw in his own students. As long little girls didn’t have parents or teachers trying to beat that out of them, they absolutely would take over the world.

“And as for the other question,” Eddie said seriously, “yeah sure. I’d love to adopt specifically. Kids like me, who if I didn’t land in with my uncle at an early age, I would have been that troubled kid.” He cleared his throat. “So yeah. I’d love to have kids.”

Steve wiped away a tear. “Three points.”

“He better have gotten full points for that answer,” Bob huffed. “That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard on this show.”

Steve could only agree, especially in its sincerity.

“Billy, what is the hottest thing anyone has done for you?”

“Ooh, spicy!” Bob said.

“That’s a tough question, babe,” Billy said, his voice dark and sultry. “I’ve had a lot of hot things that boys have done to me.”

“Most recent then,” Steve said with a huff of laughter. This balls on this guy must be larger than his head. If there was anyone who matched Dustin’s ego it was definitely this dude.

“Now that one was fun,” Billy said. “I had a guy that I sat next to on a long flight from Hawaii to LA. It was a red eye so there was only the two of us in first class. He gave me a blowjob when all the lights went down. Definitely in my top ten blowjobs, too.”

Steve’s nose wrinkled, but he did ask for it. “Two points. Not into semi-public to public sex.”

Billy laughed. “To each their own, doll.”

“Tommy,” Steve said just plowing through to the next question. “If you had a million dollars to give away, where you give it and why?”

“Only a million?” Tommy said with a scoff. “I do that yearly, anyway. Some of my favorite charities are youth after school programs and cancer research.”

Steve sighed. There was that push to show how much money he had. He really wondered if this guy was happy. “Three points.” But only because if he had given any less there would be a riot. But it was obvious he only picked those things because saying what he really would have given the money to probably would have raised some red flags.

“Eddie,” he said, “here’s a fun question for you. Who do you think killed Pres. Kennedy?”

“Ooh, sweetheart,” Eddie cooed. “You certainly know the way to a man’s heart. Conspiracy theories are my jam. Not because I believe in them, but because they are so fascinating. But in this case there is no doubt there was a hell of a cover up. A warehouse worth of evidence and it disappears before it can be declassified? Nah, fam. So, I’m going to say it was CIA. JFK was going to win the next election and they couldn’t have that. So they had him killed.”

Steve laughed. “That tracks. Thanks!”

“You’re welcome,” Eddie said brightly. “That was a fun question.”

“All right,” Bob said, “we are going into the last question for all three of our Suitors. Our current totals are: Eddie with fifty-seven, the clear runaway leader. Billy with thirty-seven, and Tommy with thirty-six. It’s down to this last question who will get the chance to go on the date with Steve, Billy or Tommy. All righty, Steve. Lay those last questions on our Suitors.”

Steve had originally had a different question for Billy, but after all the unhinged sexual answers he decided he had a better question for the man whore. “Billy, how do you feel about male lingerie?”

“Male lingerie?” Billy said in confusion. “I thought lingerie was only for chicks, not dudes.”

“Well, Billy,” Bob said with a smile, “there has been a recent development where men wanted to feel sexy, too. But lingerie is designed for breasts and wider hips, things that would look bad if a man tried wearing them. So designers came up with silky underwear that fit a man’s body.”

“Hmm,” Billy said thoughtfully. “Who would be wearing the male lingerie? Because that would determine how I feel about them.”

Gotcha! Steve thought. “Me.”

“It would be nice for to come home to,” Billy said, “the once. Then I would rip it off you and fuck you into the mattress.”

Steve was a little disappointed in the answer. His lip quivered and he bit it.

“I would buy you as many as you wanted,” Eddie said softly. “I know it’s not my turn, but babe. I’d buy them in different styles and different colors and lovingly remove them each time to keep them safe.”

Steve smiled. “Thanks, Eddie. Two points to Billy. For the great sex afterwards I guess.”

“Get me to the dating round, doll,” Billy huffed, “and I’ll make you a believer.”

“Tommy what was your dream job when you were a kid?” Steve was hoping for something sincere for a change.

“Rich and famous,” Tommy said with a laugh. “Didn’t everyone?”

Bob and Steve shared a concerned glance.

“No,” Steve said slowly. “I always wanted to be a teacher. Or an archaeologist. Until I found out about the math.” He shuddered. “One point.”

“I think that cinches it for Billy to go on to the date round,” Bob said, “we’ll still have our catch ask his last que–”

“Wait!” Tommy said. “I know it won’t change anything, even if I get three points Billy still wins by one. But can I change my answer?”

“It would technically be a tie,” Bob said gently, “so I can’t have Steve change your points, but go ahead.”

Tommy was silent for a moment. “I wanted to be a fireman. I know most boys did at a certain age, but I really wanted to be a fireman. But my dad was a banker, so he wanted me to follow in his footsteps. So instead of training to be a firefighter out of high school I went to college.”

Steve heart broke just a little. “That sounds sweet, Tommy.”

“Thanks,” Tommy said with a sniffle.

“All right, Eddie,” Steve said gently steering the conversation back to the game. “If we were to get matching tattoos, what would it be and why?”

“A tattoo question for little me?” Eddie asked gleefully. “Did you peek? You did, didn’t you? You saucy thing.”

Bob laughed. “Nope, apparently Mr. Middle School Teacher here has a tattoo on his forearm.”

Eddie giggled and stomped his feet excitedly. “I guess it would depend how far we are into dating we were. But definitely not each other’s names. That’s just asking for trouble. I’d say... hmmm... a little half heart on the inside of the wrist, so that when we hold hands they form a complete heart.”

“Dude,” Bob said, “are you for real? This show has never had a score as high as yours in the history of its run. Billy can only hope you spill wine on Steve’s lap on your date in two days otherwise you’re going to be really hard to beat.”

Eddie chuckled. “I’m just me, man. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Well I know what I want to say,” Steve said a little breathless. “Three points.”

“And there we have it,” Bob said to the camera. “Tomorrow Billy will pick up Steve from his hotel lobby in his fancy Camero to wine and dine Steve. We will fly Eddie out to Hawkins tomorrow so he can pump your best friend Robin for all your favorite things to do and the best place for a picnic. Then miniature golf and dinner at the local diner, Benny’s. Then you’ll both fly back here for the finale where Steve will reveal who his love connection is!”

~

Part 7 Part 8

Tag List: CLOSED

1-@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

9- @dreamercec @wheneverfeasible @themoonagainstmers @garden-of-gay @little-birch-boy

10- @ollieolive @dissociatingdemon @stripey82 @kultiras @micheledawn1975

[runninriot]

written for @steddie-week day 5

Until You Come Back And Be Mine

prompt: exes to lovers, getting back together | rated: T | wc: 4.4k | cw: brief mention of injuries, hospitalization | tags: Normal Guy Steve Harrington, Rockstar Eddie Munson, Famous Corroded Coffin, love confessions, idiots in love, lovers to exes to strangers to lovers | complete fic on ao3

It was the middle of the night when he got the call.

When Dustin’s trembling voice ripped him out of his sleep-drunken state and brought the world to a halt.

When he, numbly and in a shock-fueled panic, hastily packed a bag and booked the earliest flight to New York without thinking about it.

He can’t even remember getting to the airport, thinks he might’ve taken a taxi to get there. Or maybe he drove there himself? Whatever.

He couldn’t really think clearly, doesn’t even know what’s in his backpack, doesn’t know anything except-

    ‘Eddie’s in hospital.’

The words keep playing in his mind like a broken record, over and over again.

    ‘They won’t tell me what exactly happened but apparently, he’s injured quite badly.’

Dustin told him he’s on his way to meet Gareth, hoping to get some answers and that maybe, if he’s lucky, they’ll let him see Eddie.

    ‘I’m sorry, Steve. I shouldn’t have called you. I just- I needed someone to talk to. I’m sorry for-‘

Steve had to stop him right there, because if Dustin had said out loud what they both knew was coming next, Steve would’ve probably lost it.

Just thinking about it makes Steve angry because Dustin shouldn’t feel the need to fucking apologise for seeking comfort in calling him. He shouldn’t have to feel bad for mentioning Eddie’s name to Steve just because-

Well.

It’s not like Steve hasn’t heard the name Eddie Munson almost every day for the past 6 years. It’s not like life has given him any chance to avoid hearing his name or listening to his voice or seeing his face, no matter how much it hurts each and every time.

Because Eddie is everywhere.

Has been ever since Corroded Coffin signed their record deal and made it big practically over night.

   Small-town boys rise to become brightest stars in Metal heaven

Steve remembers the magazine’s headline like it was yesterday. Remembers how much it hurt to see Eddie’s face for the first time in two months, happily smiling next to Gareth, Jeff, and Zach as they triumphantly held their first record into the camera.

Remembers how his heart broke all over again after-

After Eddie had left him.

Packed his stuff and left to move to New York with his band because they had been offered this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity they couldn’t not take.

And rightfully so, as it turned out. Because the fame they’d been promised came quickly. Soon, even the mainstream stations were playing their songs after Corroded Coffin had found their way into the hearts of diehard pop music fans when they – just to mess with the industry – collaborated with one of America’s most beloved teen idols for their newest single at the time.

So, yeah.

As much as Steve had wanted to close that chapter once and for all after losing the man he’d thought he would spend the rest of his life with, he soon had to accept that Eddie Munson would forever be present - just not in the way Steve had always dreamed he would.

keep reading on ao3

[yournowheregirl]

remember when i said this was gonna be 5 parts? psych! it’s gonna be six parts of the secret-dolly-parton-fan eddie munson saga (thanks again for all the love on this fic & a special thanks to @gothbat99 and @legitcookie for listening to my rambling about this part 🥰)

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 5] [part 6 + complete on ao3]

part 4: i will always love you

Eddie never thought himself to be an overthinker. 

In fact, during the majority of his life a lot of people assumed he didn't think at all considering the way he flunked senior year twice (He got there in the end, though). But lately - well, actually ever since Pat swore up and down Steve isn’t as straight as Eddie originally thought - Eddie’s brain has been running at a hundred miles an hour.

More specifically, Pat’s words have been echoing through his mind, haunting him, torturing him, every time he hangs out with Steve.

“Hey man, that shirt looks really great on you.” Steve says one day when Eddie shows up at Family Video wearing a red henley. It’s an old shirt he found earlier that week when Wayne forced him to clean out his closet, a little tight but it still fit so Eddie decided to keep it.

“What, this old thing?” Eddie scoffs, playing with the frayed hem of the shirt.

“Yeah, it’s… it suits you. Looks nice.” Steve smiles. 

“Thanks.” Eddie replies. His smile is tight, in the hopes that he doesn’t give away the swarm of butterflies currently residing in his stomach.

But are ya sure that boy’s straight?

“Wait, what’s happening again?” Steve asks one night during Will’s latest Hellfire campaign. 

It’s the first time in literal years that Eddie’s been playing a character instead of DM’ing and so far, he’s been very impressed with Will replacing him. Though his story lines can be a little too detailed at times, which makes it hard for Steve - who hasn’t been there during every D&D night - to keep up. 

So, Eddie explains it to him. He’s patient, keeping his voice low so the others won’t overhear and carefully watches Steve connect the dots. Watches how that cute little frown in between his eyebrows slowly fades away and is replaced with a soft smile. 

“Which brings us here, to the Rotting Grove and now we gotta wait until Dustin’s character makes a decision.” Eddie says finally, but Steve stays quiet. He’s still looking at Eddie, eyes wide with wonder, maybe he still doesn’t understand the plot just yet. “Sorry, did I go too fast? You want me to start again?”

“No, no, I got it.” Steve shakes his head, smiling. “Thanks for explaining it, though. You’re a great story teller, Eddie.” He says, bumping their shoulders together but never pulling away.

Steve stays glued to Eddie’s side throughout the rest of the night, whispering the occasional question or snarky comment in his ear, sending a chill down Eddie’s spine every time he feels Steve’s lips brush against his skin.

But are ya sure that boy’s straight?

“You really gotta be more careful.” Steve says sternly one afternoon, after Eddie has fallen face-first onto the ground during one of Max’ skateboarding lessons, leaving him with a nasty graze on his cheek. 

“I was being- fucking Christ, Steve.” Eddie hisses as Steve dabs a washcloth against Eddie’s bloodied cheek. “Will you stop that? That hurts like hell.”

Steve ignores his protests, rolling his eyes. “An infection hurts even more, so just stay still, will you?”

His hand, big and warm, finds Eddie’s hip, holding him still against the bathroom counter, as Eddie tries to think of literally anything that’ll stop his blood from going south because this not the place or time to pop a boner right now. Which somehow results in him being particularly mopey to Steve.

“I can take care of myself y’know? Been doin’ it all my life.” He grunts when Steve slowly removes the washcloth. 

“I know you can.” Steve replies softly. “But sometimes it’s nice to have someone taking care of you for a change.”

He runs his thumb over Eddie’s cheek, wiping away the last of the blood before placing his his hand on Eddie’s jaw, turning his face to see if there are any wounds to be taken care of. When Steve nods, obviously proud of his work, Eddie almost wants to go out there and trip another time, just to feel Steve’s hands on his skin again. 

“Besides, you need someone around here who actually knows first aid. God forbid something happens to that pretty face of yours.” Steve smirks, before patting Eddie’s chest and walking out of the bathroom, leaving Eddie speechless for the first time in his life.

But are ya sure that boy’s straight?

Pat’s words keep getting louder and louder in his mind to the point that it’s the only thing Eddie can think about. He overanalyzes every single one of Steve’s movements, every word that rolls off his tongue, every glance sent his way, to the point that he swears he’s going insane.

Because the more he starts thinking about it, the more Pat might actually be right and isn’t that the most terrifying thing in the wold?

-xxx-

“Dude, will you stop that?”

Eddie looks up from where he was mindlessly staring out the window and glares at Dustin, who glares right back at him. “What?”

“Your leg.” Dustin pokes him in said leg, the one that’s been bouncing uncontrollably for the past few minutes. “It’s fucking annoying.”

Dustin’s been at the Munson trailer since early afternoon, figuring out the perfect songs to  put on the mixtape he’s mailing Suzie for their anniversary. Eddie had felt honored that Dustin came to him, rather than the so-called leading expert on romance (Steve) but now his patience is wearing thin. 

Don’t get him wrong, he loves the squirt with all his heart, but Dustin’s been contemplating between two very similar songs for thirty minutes now and his indecisiveness is starting to get on Eddie’s nerves.

“Maybe if you hurried the fuck up, my leg wouldn’t be shakin’ Henderson.” Eddie retorts. “C’mon, hurry up, will ya? I got places to go, people to meet.”

Dustin snorts. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“You know, going out to the woods to deal doesn’t exactly count as Friday evening plans.” Dustin says.

“Hey!” Eddie protests. “You know I don’t do that shit anymore, not with those shady government assholes watching my every move.” He sighs, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. “But if you must know, me and Steve are having a movie night at his place and you know how huffy he gets when I’m late.”

That’s not entirely true. Sure, Eddie’s going over to the Harrington house tonight and sure they’re gonna watch a movie, but it’s also the night that Eddie decided to finally make a move on Steve. And maybe, if everything goes right, tonight will be the night that he finds the guts to Steve how he feels.

Which is why Dustin needs to get a move on because he really needs those extra few hours to contemplate his existence, have a panic attack, talk himself down from said panic attack and figure out what he’s going to wear.

“Okay, now I know you’re lying.” Dustin says, looking anything but impressed with Eddie.

“What? I ain’t lying, Henderson.” Eddie frowns. He grabs the VHS tape from the coffee table and waves it in Dustin’s face. “See, I got the movie and everything.”

“Yeah, well, you must have gotten the days mixed up.” Dustin shrugs. “Steve’s got a date tonight.”

“Yeah, right.” Eddie says, rolling his eyes at Dustin and ignoring the way his heart is starting to beat a little faster out of sheer panic. “Steve hasn’t been on a date since he broke up with Emily. And even if he has a date, I doubt he would’ve planned it at the same time as our movie night.”

“Well sorry to burst your bubble, but I know for a fact that Steve’s got a date tonight because he told me.” Dustin’s tone is bordering on condescending but Eddie doesn’t even have energy to tell him off right now because what the fuck? What does Dustin mean by that? And maybe more importantly, why did Steve leave Eddie in the dark about all this?

A heavy feeling settles down in his stomach, but he can’t let Dustin see his inner turmoil so he goes with indifference instead. “Pff, sure he did.”

“I saw him buy roses, Eddie! They were red too and that’s like, a dead giveaway for romance!” Dustin declares. “And when I talked to him about it he got this… weird, mushy look in his eye, which by the way gross, and said something about making tonight special and shit. Which again, gross, but if that doesn’t scream romantic evening to me, then I don’t know what is!”

Slowly, as Dustin’s words are starting to sink in, the heavy feeling grows stronger and stronger until Eddie feels his stomach drop.

Steve’s going on a date. 

Steve’s going on a date and just ditches Eddie without saying a word.

Steve’s going on a date with someone who isn’t Eddie.

Steve’s going on a date which means Pat was wrong.

“Get out.” Eddie says, voice on edge.

“Geez, didn’t know you’d get so upset. It’s just a cancelled movie night, I’m sure Steve-”

“Out!” Eddie exclaims, his tone way harsher than it needs to be. It obviously affects Dustin, who flinches at his words, but Eddie doesn’t care. Well, he does but he’ll apologize to Dustin later, once he starts to feel normal about all of this. 

Dustin quietly packs his stuff, mumbling something under his breath as Eddie just stands there, frozen. Eyes glued to the coffee stain on the carpet, mind reeling with thoughts of Steve ditching him for some date he didn’t even tell him about. 

He hears Dustin say a quiet goodbye but he stays there for a good few minutes before he finally snaps out of his trance and grabs the keys to the van from the kitchen counter. He doesn’t even see the dark clouds forming in the sky, he just gets in the van and drives. 

-xxx-

Rain is still pouring down when Eddie arrives at the Off-Road. Not that he really cares about the weather right now, he’s got other things on his mind. He pulls his leather jacket over his head and jogs over to the entrance, only to find the door closed and the lights off.

Great. Like his day couldn’t get any worse.

Eddie slumps down on the porch in front of the bar, not caring that he’s sitting on wet wood or that the wind is blowing the raindrops right in his face. The rain is actually pretty nice right now, hiding the tears that are slowly rolling down his cheek.

Crying over Steve motherfuckin’ Harrington. That’s a new low, even for him.

And the thing is, any other time Eddie could’ve dealt with Steve getting another date. Yeah, it’d probably hurt like a bitch and Eddie would’ve been sulking for a day or two, but he would’ve been fine. It would’ve been just another Emily situation, just another reminder that Steve would never been his.

But Steve keeping him in the dark about his date, Steve just flat-out cancelling their movie night without even telling him, after weeks of, let’s be honest, low-key flirting? That somehow hurts even more. It just feels like Steve doesn’t really care about him, like Steve’s using him like a fucking Kleenex - use once, then throw away when it’s no longer useful.

The thoughts in his head are so loud, so overwhelming, that he doesn’t even hear a pick-up truck stopping a few steps from him. Doesn’t hear the hushed voices or the wet sounds of footsteps through the mud.

“Ed? Whatcha doin’ here kid?”

Eddie looks up from where he had been staring at his feet, only to find Pat and Tish standing in front of him, huddled together underneath an umbrella. The worried looks on both their faces makes Eddie just cry even harder.

“Oh honey.” Tish says softly. “Let’s get you inside, okay?”

Pat and Tish lead him inside and up the stairs that lead to the apartment above the bar. It’s small, but cozy and feels like a home, with little trinkets and old photos scattered just about everywhere. Pat firmly plants Eddie down at the kitchen table and hands him a couple of towels as his tears slowly start to fade. He hadn’t even realized how cold he was until Pat throws a woolen blanket over his shoulders and Tish puts down a pot of hot chamomile tea.

“So…” Pat says as she sits down across from him at the kitchen table. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Eddie sniffs, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “It’s stupid.”

“We’ll be the judge of that.” Pat says sternly, though her eyes are soft. “Now tell us what happened.”

And Eddie just spills everything. How Pat’s advice has been haunting him, how he’s been overanalyzing every of Steve’s moves, how he was so sure that Steve liked him back, only to be tossed aside without a care. He tears up again a few times and it’s so embarrassing he wants to be buried alive, even with Pat and Tish just listening and telling him it’s okay.

Once he’s done, he just feels empty - no more tears to cry, no more words to say, just an empty, hollow feeling where his heart used to be. 

“Eddie, I’m so sorry, honey.” Tish sighs as she pours him another cup of tea. He’s not usually a tea drinker but he’s had two cups already - he swears Tish put some kind of crack in it, rather than sugar cubes. “For what it’s worth, he doesn’t deserve you. Not if he treats like you like, pardon my French, dogshit.”

Hearing Tish swear, while she’s generally so prim and proper, makes Eddie laugh, even through his dried-up tears. “Thanks, Tish.” He sighs, slouches down in his chair and looks up at the wooden ceiling. “But I guess this was good, in some twisted, fucked up way. Just the slap in the face I needed.”

“What’d you mean?” Pat frowns.

“It’s just… I been running after him like some lovesick puppy even though I know he’ll never feel the same.” Eddie says. “And it’s not doing me any good, now is it? Guess this is a sign that it’s time for me to move on.”

He knows he said that before, back when Steve started dating Emily, and even though it clearly didn’t work out the way he wanted to, Eddie has to make it work now. He has to say goodbye to Steve because he’s not so sure his poor heart’ll survive if he doesn’t.

And he knows exactly how he’s going to do just that.

Eddie jumps up from the table and races downstairs, ignoring Pat and Tish’s confused noises as they follow him. He fumbles with the lights for a moment but as soon as the lights are partially on, Eddie walks up to the podium, grabs the guitar off the wall and sits down on the stool that has become so familiar to him.

The bar is silent because of course it is and for a second Eddie just wants to laugh at how weird this whole situation - singing in a bar just to process his dumb feelings, even with no audience around (well, there’s an audience if you count Pat, Tish and the wind howling outside). But he has to do this, needs to do this, audience be damned. 

His hands are shaking, hesitating to play the first few chords. It’s not like he doesn’t know the song, in fact he knows it by heart and played it plenty of times, But he never actually sang the words, too scared what’ll mean if he’ll say them out loud. 

“If I, should stay… I would only be in your way. So, I’ll go but I’ll know, I’ll think of you each step of the way.” Eddie sing softly, voice already wavering because he was right for not singing this song before - it fucking hurts. “And I… will always love you.”

Eddie’s voice echoes through the empty bar, causing to sound more hollow than it already is. A shiver runs up his spine when he feels a cool breeze of wind - the wind must’ve flung the door open. Eddie doesn’t look up, closes his eyes instead and lets the music take him.

“Bittersweet memories, that’s all I’m taking with me.” He hears Pat and Tish whispering to another, can’t really see them from where they’re standing in the dark but their hushed voices sound tense. Not that Eddie’s really listening, it’s all background noise as he continues strumming his guitar. 

“Goodbye, please don’t cry. We both know…” Eddie chokes on his on voice, the words hitting a little too close to home. He takes a deep breath and tries again, refusing to shed anymore tears. “We both know that I’m not what you need.”

“Eddie?”

Someone’s calling out his name. A familiar voice. A way too familiar voice. 

Steve’s voice.

But that can’t be. Steve’s doesn’t knows he’s here. Steve’s too busy wooing his goddamn date with those goddamn roses.

It’s just in his head. It’s just his mind playing tricks on him. He just needs to finish this song and then this fake Steve will disappear and-

“And I… will always love you. I will always-” 

“Eddie, please.”

Eddie stops playing as a shadow washes over him, a figure blocking the spotlight. He squints, trying to identify whether it’s Pat or Tish who interrupted him, only to find that it’s neither of them

Because there, with floppy wet hair plastered to his face and a thoroughly soaked pink button-down and blue jeans, stands the one person Eddie had run away from in the first place.

Steve.

tag list (there are so many of you now omg ily):

@cheatghost @henderdads @unclewaynemunson @goblin-eddie @trikigirl271 @alienace @fandomcartographer @stevethehairington @blank1eboi @this-earlobe-is-naked @fruitandbubbles @courtjestermunson @steveisabicon @stereoteleversion @wrenisflying @spectrum-spectre @hotluncheddie @punkharringtxn @remislupinsthevoiceofgod @panicatthediaz @thegingervulcan @sharkruption @goodolefashionedloverboi @thelastwalkingsoul @undreamingscatworld @starrystevie @magipemuseum @mightbeasleep @corrodedcoughin @linkydinky06 @hardboiledeggs @gamerdano @limpingpenguin @blackpanzy @piningapple @teelagurl558 @theokatz @moonlightmirrorball @milf-harrington @raisedbylibrarians @eddiemunsonswife @catateme9 @stranger-poets-society

[rainylana]

Eddie’s anxiety headcanons

Eddie Munson x female reader

warnings: mentions of anxiety, panic attacks and self harm, angst.

• he worries so much he’s going to end up like his old man. you don’t know, can’t even begin to fathom just how much it bothers him, how much it terrifies him. it’s on his mind, lurking in the dark corners at all times. his number one worry is hurting you, saying something that he can’t take back. you deserve all the love he can give, but is he able to treat you how you deserve to be treated?

• besides you, wayne is his rock. he knows of his struggles and his triggers, knows how to help him when he’s all worked up. he assured him countless he isn’t his daddy. “you remind me everyday of your momma, boy. got those big brown eyes of her’s.” he’d say.

• his fingers are torn to shreds from how much he bites his nails and picks at his skin. his nails have blood crusted around the edges and wayne makes sure to have bandaids on hand whenever he needs them. you have colorful ones with flowers that make eddie smile.

• when he has panic attacks, they’re bad, almost to the point where wayne isn’t sure whether or not to take him to the hospital. he’s pacing wildly, clutching his chest and crying. wayne never sees him cry, only in moments like that and he hates it. he’s convinced he’s having a heart attack, some kind of reaction because it can’t be all in his head like everyone tells him! you try your best to help him, but seeing him get so worked up makes your heart crumble.

• he has a problem with scratching his arms when he gets overwhelmed, bites his hand when he gets aggravated and traces his fingertips in the indents of his teeth. you caught him once drawing blood and you cried, but he couldn’t understand why it upset you so much.

• he hits his head a lot with his hands, pulls on his hair. wayne will hold his hands while his aggravation passes and makes him talks about what’s upsetting him. you sometimes let it go because you’re worried about pressuring him or making him angry at you, but wayne always makes him talk.

• when he gets in an anxious spell, lasting for multiple days, he smokes almost a pack a day. you were worried for his health so you bought him patches to wear and chewing gum. he thought the patches were stupid so he didn’t wear them, but the gym does help him. he’s not a fan of mint but you assure him that it’ll help calm him down better than juicy fruit.

• he doesn’t really how bad of shape he gets in, so he doesn’t grasp or understand why you get so upset or why wayne seems so concerned. he gets aggravated when his friends won’t stop staring at him, biting his nails furiously and taping his foot fast enough to make the lunch table shake.

• takes really cold showers when he’s upset, the cold numbs him and it’s one of the only times where he can feel peaceful. he’ll sit on the linoleum floor, head in his hands and the let the ice cold water sooth him. sometimes you’ll crawl in their with him.

[nametakensff]

Eyebrows (S/teddie)

I had to get this little scenario out of my head, so here's just over 2K of S/teve plucking E/ddie's eyebrows until it makes him sneeze 💗

~~~~~

Content:

M/M, established relationship, both S/teve and E/ddie have the fetish, E/ddie gets off to his own sneezing, sneezing induced by eyebrow tweezing, mentions of allergy sneezing, sneezing in someone's hand, some nose rubbing, brief over the pants hand job, teasing, I guess fetish 'dirty talk' lol

CW: tiny little bit of misogyny / gender stereotyping (they're young men and in the 1980s, so)

~~~~~~

NSFW, minors please DNI!

“This is stupid.”

“Yeah, man, I heard you the first fifty times, already.”

Eddie huffed, squirming where he sat on the edge of Steve’s bed. Steve was in front of him, cradling his chin in his palm and forcing him to look up. His boyfriend stood awkwardly, angled so that the sunlight from the window wasn’t entirely obscured by his body as he worked. Eddie felt fucking ridiculous with one hand holding back his bangs, giving Steve easier access to his brows. He eyed the tweezers in his boyfriend’s right hand warily.

“Do you really need to do this? What’s wrong with my brows? Don’t you think I’m handsome?”

Steve rolled his eyes at him.

“You’re overreacting. Your eyebrows are fine – and yeah, you’re handsome. I’m just – leveling you up a little bit?”

Eddie scoffed in response.

“I think you’re being vain. I think you care too much about appearances.”

Steve chuckled, and Eddie nearly jerked his chin away in irritation.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just – funny. That you would accuse me of being obsessed with appearance when your whole thing is anti-conformity. You care a lot, just in a different way. You don’t not care, is what I mean.”

Steve ended on a clarification, watching as Eddie narrowed his eyes at him.

“I never said ‘obsessed’. And not dressing like a conformist douchebag isn’t the same as plucking my eyebrows like a chick.”

“I pluck my eyebrows. You like my eyebrows. Am I a chick?”

“No. Stop putting words in my mouth.”

“Then stop squirming and let me do this. You’re dragging it out like a baby. It won’t hurt. All that much, anyway.”

Eddie hesitated. He honestly hadn’t even considered the potential pain, having been too focused on the principal.

“I would like your eyebrows in their natural state, for the record.” He mumbled as Steve loomed closer.

“Thank you. Now shut up. If you hate it we never do this again, okay?”

“I already hate it.”

“Eddie.”

“Fine, fucking fine. Just hurry up so we can do something halfway interesting.”

It was Steve’s turn to scoff, rolling his eyes in the face of his boyfriend’s sulkiness.

“Pizza and sex can wait, dude.”

"Who are you??”

“Quiet.” Steve muttered, ever so slightly tightening his grip on Eddie’s chin and leaning forward with the tweezers. “You’re so dramatic, you geek.”

Eddie didn’t offer any kind of retort in response – Steve noticed he had started to cringe away and close his eyes as the tweezers drew closer.

“I promise it doesn’t hurt much, babe. I’ll be quick about it - honest.”

“Hm.”

Eddie didn’t open his eyes, but he didn’t move away. Steve took a moment to admire the way his dark lashes fanned delicately over his cheeks, then closed the tweezers around the first stray hair he could find. He yanked fast and hard. When Eddie hissed and jerked a little in response, Steve gently rubbed the pad of one finger over the pinkening skin.

“Sorry, honey. Not too bad, huh?”

“Ow, mother fucker. That sucks.”

“It doesn’t feel great, I know. But the faster I go, easier it’ll be.”

Eddie opened his eyes and looked at Steve. His boyfriend was smiling encouragingly down at him. He was stupidly attractive, irritatingly so – Eddie thought this was the dumbest shit ever, but he was a fucking fool for Steve, and knew he would continue to acquiesce even as he fought it every step of the way.

“Don’t you like my eyebrows?” He asked, feeling like a pathetic broken record as Steve closed the tweezers round another hair.

“Of course I do! I just want to see what they look like a little more – manscaped. You ready?”

Eddie gritted his teeth and tensed in preparation.

“Yeah. Hit me.”

This hair felt even worse as it was yanked away – a cruel prickling sensation that rippled outwards from the source and through his scrunched-up face.

“Fucking shit, Stevie!”

“Sorry, fuck. I’m gonna go faster and get this over with, yeah?”

“Ugh, fine.”

“I’ll make it up to you. I’ll suck your dick for hours.”

Eddie huffed out a little laugh, wincing as Steve readied the tweezers again.

“You don’t have to repay me in sexual favours, Harrington. Besides, that would be a double win for you.”

“Asshole!” Steve laughed, and Eddie grinned for all of one second before another hair was yanked free.

“Fucking christ, that shit sucks.”

The sensation was more than just a sharp little spike of pain; it made his face itchy, bringing tears to his eyes and putting a tickle in nose. He sniffled and squeezed his eyes shut tight. Reaching up with his free hand to scrub under his nostrils, he started to mash his nose around more violently once he found the sensation continued to linger. His wrist bumped into Steve’s hand, still cupping his chin.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it just – is it supposed to, like – tickle?” He sniffled, feeling his nostrils dampen in response to the mischievous itch and manhandling both.

“Oh, um…Yeah. That can happen.”

Eddie looked up at Steve, taking in the sheepish expression on his face. He blinked at him before narrowing his eyes in suspicion. Steve seemed to squirm under the scrutinization.

“…Does it happen to you?”

“Um. Sometimes. But I’m pretty used to it.”

Eddie continued to peer up at Steve, and Steve continued to squirm.

“…Does it ever make you sneeze?”

Steve’s eyelashes fluttered a little. His nervous, guilty reaction said it all, and Eddie’s jeans instantly felt far too tight.

“Sometimes.” Steve flashed him a little crooked smile, and Eddie swore under his breath.

“Harrington, you dirty dog.” He was smirking now. “If you wanted me to sneeze for you, honey, there are plenty of easier, less vapid ways to get there.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at him – perfectly sculpted, to his credit – and secured the tweezers again. The nervousness was gone from him, replaced with a determination that made Eddie’s cock twitch happily in his underwear. He looked up at Steve with a dumb grin. Perhaps he could get behind this bullshit now, savouring this delicious new morsel of information. He’d happily watch or even help Steve the next time he was fixing his own brows.

“You’re right - there are plenty of other ways, and you’d jump at the chance no matter what. This wasn't intentional, Munson. Either way, you’re not much of a challenge.”

“So first you hate my eyebrows, now you’re calling me easy?”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Steve smirked down at him. Eddie smirked back. “Will you let me get this over with now? Pizza and sex at the end of the tunnel, remember?”

Eddie nodded, locking eyes with him.

“Sex first, pizza later.”

“Deal.” Steve closed the tweezers around another hair.

“Don’t go slow, Stevie. I really think if you go faster, I’m gonna – Oww, mother fucking shit fuck!”

Steve just laughed at him, squeezing his chin securely and starting on another hair. He certainly had picked up the pace now, and Eddie winced again as several more hairs were plucked away in cruel succession.

The bizarre combination of sharp pain and aggravating itchiness was taking hold in earnest as Steve worked. Eddie was definitely going to sneeze – he could feel it building, an incredibly irritating swell of sensation. It was almost unbearable, sort of how his nose might have protested had he stuck his face right into a bouquet of flowers and inhaled as deeply as possible. But it was less sharp than the tickles that pollen would induce, somehow – the buildup was simultaneously agonising and strangely pleasant. He sniffled, nostrils beginning to twitch and flare.

“Mm, fuck. Gonna s-sneeze soon, Stevie.”

“Mff. Okay.”

Eddie smiled even as his eyes slipped shut and his mouth started to fall open in preparation. Steve sounded breathless already, something he allowed himself to take a great deal of pride in having caused. Who wasn’t much of a challenge now?!

Steve yanked another hair out along the underside and middle of Eddie’s right brow, the most painful removal yet. It brought genuine tears to his eyes, but it was the final push he needed. That buzzing, tickling sensation began to crest, forcing his eyebrows upwards and sucking a desperate breath into his lungs. He lingered for just a moment on the precipice of release, the tickle unbelievable as the post-plucking waves of irritation turned the centre of his face into a miasma of itchiness.

Steve’s grip on his chin had loosened a little to accommodate his slackening jaw. Quickly, Eddie dropped the hand that had been holding back his fringe to Steve’s wrist, urging his palm in front of his nose and mouth. Steve complied immediately, releasing his chin and holding his hand out expectantly to catch the oncoming release.

One final, desperate gasp, expression cinching tight, and then Eddie was crumpling forward, nose bumping into the skin of Steve’s palm as he sneezed vigorously into it.

“Hh-!! EhH’NGXt’Tsieww!! IHG’TChieww! Hh’DZZztschiew! ESHHh’ieww!! IGSHHHhh’uu!!”

Ohh, they had felt amazing. He had only a moment of luxuriating in the relief of them before he felt Steve rubbing with the tips of his fingers on the flexing arch of his nostrils. He was ticklish enough that the motions urged the irritation to swell anew - he lurched forward again within seconds, this fit even more cleansing and violent.

“-!! HDDdDzz’TCHieww!! EhDDT’TSchieww!! Hh! Hih’TSCHhh’iew!-TSSCCHhh! HaAHGT’TSschhh! GXXT’Tshiewww!...Hh-H-HH!! HAAH’GITSCHh’iewww!! Ohh my god. Shit.”

“Ohh, baby. Bless you so much.”

Eddie sniffled, peering up at Steve and rubbing his damp nose into the protective cradle of his boyfriend's hand.

“Thank you, honey. They felt really good.”

“Fuck, Eds. You’re so hot.”

“Mm. You too, Stevie.” Eddie murmured, taking in the sight of Steve’s obvious erection practically straining against his tight Levi's. The sight almost made him drool. He wanted that cock in his mouth five minutes ago. He wanted to reach out and squeeze it through the material, watch a wet patch form as Steve leaked in desperation. He did just that, listening to Steve moan, ragged and surprisingly loud. He grinned and huffed a satisfied little ‘hah’ as Steve started to buck against his hand, gripping his wrist and fucking into his tight embrace.

The strangled groan of frustration Steve couldn’t curtail as Eddie yanked his hand away mere moments later made him giggle. Steve was so responsive, got just as worked up as Eddie did for him. It was intoxicating, how much they got each other going. It was a high unlike any other drug he’d ventured to try.

“Eddie, please!”

Steve started unzipping his pants, one handed, open hand searching for Eddie’s wrist to draw him back and finish what he started.

“Not yet, Stevie.”

Steve groaned and lunged for him, attempting to push him backwards on the bed and plant a kiss on his mouth. He was semi-successful, managing to tilt Eddie backwards just so, wedging a leg between Eddie’s thighs and pressing up against his own erection, which throbbed in response. The resistance made him lean back at once, searching Eddie’s face wordlessly for an explanation. Eddie smiled at him, then humoured him with a response.

“You’ve only finished my right side, yeah? Can’t leave a man with uneven brows, now.”

Steve blinked at him in surprise, before his expression slipped into a giddy look of recognition. He scrambled around on the floor, locating the tweezers he had unceremoniously dropped when Eddie had started to sneeze.

“You sure?” He asked, panting and wild-eyed as he resumed his position in front of Eddie. Eddie smiled, holding his bangs back out of the way. He sniffled, partly because he needed to and partly because he wanted Steve to follow the motions of his nostrils as they flared. He flared them again, just for a moment, getting off on being a tease.

“Absolutely. Can’t be looking lopsided. And besides, those sneezes felt so good, and I’ve still got such a tickle in my nose, Stevie. Help me get it out?”

“You’re not real,” Steve breathed out, reaching out to steady his boyfriend by the chin again. “This isn’t real – I’m gonna wake up in two minutes with spunk-stained underwear.”

“Oh, I’m very real, honey. This tickle is very real too. Don’t leave me hanging. I want to sneeze.” Eddie murmured, every word loaded with sensuality. It worked him up just to hear his own voice, knowing it was turning Steve to jelly before him.

“Okay. Okay,” Steve sighed, securing the tweezers back in place.

[slowandsteddie]

Y’all voted on this.

“Hey there, big guy.” / “You aren’t Eddie.”

I was really really excited to write this, honestly.

It is VERY important that you read the CW on this one.

I might be working through some things I personally went through on this one, so it’s… darker than I’d normally go.

CW: Steve is drugged, very heavily implied sexual assault (maybe skip the pink font?), ptsd, mention of bad parents, drinking as a coping mechanism, underage drinking, bartender looks like Billy (isn’t btw), very brief mention of Billy’s death, mentions of drugs, mentions of weed

Lots of hurt and little comfort.

Parts of this feel kinda rushed to me, and there’s one part where that is on purpose. But, uh. Not a fan of the ending of this bc it’s late and I’m sleepy. But also I don’t wanna edit this or dwell on it or it won’t get posted at all. So. This is where we are.

Potential for a part two.

2536 words.

—

After the night that Nancy called their relationship bullshit, Steve had sworn off alcohol and any drug stronger than the weed he used to help himself sleep when he was home alone. And he had been able to stick to it, too.

Until Starcourt.

When he had nearly been killed by Russians, confessed his love to a lesbian (while he, himself was mostly gay), and saw Billy Hargrove murdered by some thing from the Upside Down.

Yeah, life was pretty fucked up. And if he found solace at the bottom of a bottle, that was his problem.

No one but Robin needed to know. That girl was his Platonic soulmate and she got to know practically everything. Hell, he had lost track of how many times they had slept in the same bed, just so they could know the other was still breathing. They clung so tight to each other that it was like they were trying to nestle into rib cages and grasp onto bones so that they couldn’t be ripped apart again.

It helped with the nightmares and the panic to have someone so close to him who understood. Someone who knew what he went through without him having to explain it. Someone who knew that the fire cover up was complete shit. Someone who wasn’t a kid that he had to protect and hide his pain from.

Don’t get him wrong, he loved those kids. He would die for them. He’d kill for them. He’d wreck the beautiful car of his dreams for them. He’d even pretend to be okay for them, no matter what. But he could never confide in them. Not about what he went through. Not the way he could with Robin.

The thing about trauma bonding with someone is that there doesn’t have to be secrets. They already knew the worst thing that you have been through, so everything else would be a cakewalk by comparison.

During the day, it was easy to be goofy and laugh and hide the fact that he had been through absolute hell. But at night, everything came back to him. Him screaming that he just worked for Scoops and not being believed. Him offering free ice cream for life, just to get out of there.

Offering his body when that didn’t work because he didn’t have anything else and he knew his parents wouldn’t pay a ransom, even if the Russians had decided to try that route. And if they took him up on that offer, no one had to know. He didn’t even have to know. He could just pretend that the drugs took those memories too and not think about it.

The night time was what had him drinking again. The sun would start setting and he’d find himself reaching for that bottle, as though he needed it as desperately as he needed air and open spaces.

Even when Robin was over, he couldn’t close the door before taking a shower. Though, that didn’t matter much, when she’d go sit on the toilet and talk to him, with nothing but a curtain between them as the water poured over him and he sobbed as silently as he could while he cleaned himself and she chatted away about some random thing that he couldn’t follow, no matter how hard he tried. On particularly bad nights, Robin would find him in the shower, and wearing his t-shirt and shorts, she would help him wash his hair, his body, while he could only lean against the wall, feeling as though he would shake himself apart.

But, he needed to get better. He couldn’t be a mess forever. He couldn’t rely on his best friend always being available to help him through the rough patches. Most people would see the therapist recommended to them after going through things like The Upside Down and days of torture at the hands of Russians in a base under the mall that they used to work in.

Not Steve.

Oh, no.

That made too much sense.

Instead of therapy, he decided that going to a gay club in Indy would be a great idea. It had been long enough that his injuries had turned to scars. Sure, his ears rang a lot and sometimes his vision went a little fuzzy if he turned his head too fast, but he was fine. Really.

He had called and told Robin where he’d be. He didn’t need her panicking because she went to his house and he wasn’t there. He also called Henderson, just to make sure one of the kids knew he wasn’t home. They all talked constantly so the message would get around.

Just because he was stupid, didn’t mean he was irresponsible.

Steve was dressed in his favorite jeans, the ones that made his ass look nice, and a yellow polo. He didn’t really have many options in terms of shirts because it was almost time to do laundry again. He hated the washer though, as he still had times when his ribs panged when he tried to lean over too far. With that stupid washer, he always had to lean too far. There was no other way to make sure he got everything out of it.

He took the time to style his hair properly, even when the effort made his arms shake and the muscles in his hands and wrists spasm. Being tortured had some lasting effects and it was annoying. He was so tired of it. Tired of being forced to remember what he went through, even while doing the most mundane things.

He flipped the collar on his shirt up to try and make sure that the scars on his neck weren’t too obvious at first glance. That was as good as it was going to get as he refused to wear makeup to cover it up.

Then, he walked out to his car after locking the front door. Here goes nothing. He slid into the car that he hadn’t actually driven in a few weeks and started her up. She purred as though it was only yesterday that she was last turned on.

Steve mouthed the directions to himself before buckling up, turning on the radio, and beginning the drive.

Time passed, though he wasn’t sure how much of it. But he did get to the club without incident. He parked his car and locked the door before putting the keys in his pocket.

His favorite thing about this place was that they didn’t ID, something that he remembered from when he had came here before Starcourt. He had just wanted to dance with fellow queers. The first few times that he was here, he had been given water when he went to the bar.

He was glad to find that this time the bartender asked him what he’d be drinking. He was glad that the blond with curly hair and a charming smile didn’t even bat an eye over his request for a shot of whiskey, and just poured the drink.

“First one’s on the house.” God, even his voice was charming.

“Thank you,” Steve replied gratefully.

He threw the drink back and didn’t even make a face over it. The familiar, warm burn of the alcohol was a welcome one.

“How much for the second?” He asked, a slight smile tugging at his lips.

“For you? A dollar a shot.”

Steve placed a 10 dollar bill down. “One shot and one mixed drink that would leave you with what you consider an acceptable tip.”

“Yessir,” the bartender replied with a smile.

It wasn’t fair that the older male had ocean eyes he could get lost in.

Steve took the shot like nothing again, running a hand through his hair. He thanked the bartender, again, before taking his mixed drink and moving to the dance floor.

He was having fun. There were a lot of people and loud music and he had some liquid courage that was also helping to keep his chronic pain under control. After a few songs, he finished his drink before going to take his glass to the bar.

He was dizzy, but he just assumed that was from turning his head too fast a few minutes ago when someone started dancing behind him. He told himself that it had just been because he wanted to know if the guy pressing against his back was cute or not. (He was.)

Steve’s thoughts were incoherent, but he had moments when his brain didn’t seem to work right, especially when he was under the influence. It was his new normal ever since his brain had been starved of oxygen. But he couldn’t think about that again. Not now.

He asked the bartender for water, noticing the name tag this time. Billy. Oh, the painful irony.

He drank it down pretty fast, fully intending to thank him for it after. But then there was an arm around his shoulder and he was moving on to help someone on the other side of the bar.

“Hey there, big guy,” the other male said while squeezing his shoulder.

“You aren’t Eddie,” he said stupidly. It was in that moment that Steve realized who he had a crush on, but that wasn’t important right now.

“I can be whoever you want me to be, handsome.”

Steve pulled away. “I’m sorry, but no. You really can’t.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. That was a bad joke. Eddie sent me to take you home.”

“He wouldn’t have sent anyone to get me.” He said defiantly. “He’d come himself,” he added to cover up whatever he had said.

The world was spinning worse and he turned to walk to the bathroom. He was being followed and he knew it, but what other choice did he have?

By the time Steve got to the bathroom, he was mostly out of it. But, he got flashes.

—

The door being locked behind them.

His pants being unbuttoned.

Trying to struggle but it was just so hard to lift his arms.

Being shoved against the counter.

Heavy breathing in his ear.

Pain.

Sliding down.

Curling into a ball.

Clutching his own shirt.

Eddie.

Eddie.

Eddie.

—

When Steve woke up again, the first thing he noticed was that he was in the trailer. The second thing he noticed was that he felt like shit. Everything hurt more than it should for just a hangover, and he didn’t even want to think about why his hips and thighs felt the way they did.

He tried to sit up, groaning over the effort before letting himself lay back down on the couch. The toilet flushed, the water ran, and then there were footsteps coming back toward him. He didn’t know why he flinched and tried to hide in the blanket he had over him, but he did.

“Hey there, big boy,” Eddie said softly.

Steve whimpered. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t like being called that anymore. It was something that the older male had called him ever since they started getting friendly. Ever since he had started buying weed from him.

“Wanna talk about it, Steve?” He added.

He shook his head.

“Why’d the bartender call me when he found you instead of Robin? Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered that you thought I was safe.”

“I don’t know. Was kinda falling apart. I guess I wanted drugs more than…”

“More than your girlfriend?”

Steve snorted. “She’s my Platonic soulmate. Capital P. Not my girlfriend.”

Eddie tilted his head. “Want me to call the soulmate?”

Steve shook his head quickly before groaning and holding his temples. “My car?” He croaked.

“I took Jeff with me to pick you up. He drove ‘er back. Your car is in my driveway, safe and sound.”

Steve made a sound and let his eyes close.

“Steve. I’m not going to make any choices for you. But you were assaulted. The only reason that bartender didn’t call the police was that he didn’t want to out you.”

His eyes fluttered. “That… that explains it.” His body chose that moment to let him pass out again.

When he was conscious again, he was still on Eddie’s couch. He could hear the other male talking on the phone. He did his best to pretend that he was still asleep. But he was crying and the sniffling gave him away.

“Hey man, do you want Robin to come here?”

“No,” he said too quickly. “I just… I need a bit to comprehend. Tell her an hour, yeah? Then I’ll go with her and get out of your hair.”

Eddie relayed the message and hung up.

“He drugged me. But I still knew what was up. He flirted with me, but I wasn’t interested. I said he wasn’t you as though I had some kind of right to want it to be you who was flirting, man. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Of course it was only the apology that Eddie picked up on.

“Because I have no right to have a crush on you after how I treated you. Because I have no right to tell you that I have a crush on you after what happened to me.”

“If that’s how you feel, then I have no right to tell you that the feeling is mutual and that I have every intention of finding the guy who did this to you and making him pay. I have no right to feel so possessive and protective. I have no right to tell you that I always run away, but right now I just want to fight for you.”

“Mm. You’re right. We have no right to be having this conversation when it’s too much for me.”

Eddie was about to get up.

“Hold me?” Steve asked so quietly.

And his request was honored so gently. He might have been whimpering and flinching, but that didn’t stop him from grabbing the older male’s shirt and clinging to it.

When Robin barged into the trailer, exactly sixty-one minutes later, Steve flinched and his hands gripped on to Eddie’s knees tightly.

Eddie was sitting sideways on the couch, his legs spread so that Steve could be seated between them. His back was against the older male’s chest and his hands had been playing with the loose threads over Eddie’s knees before he was startled. Eddie had been trying to braid Steve’s too short hair as they listened to some music that neither male was paying enough attention to in order to place.

As soon as he saw his best friend, he was struggling to his feet before stumbling over to her with all the grace of a newborn giraffe.

“R-Robbie.”

“Stevie.”

“I shouldn’t have gone.”

“Hey, don’t blame yourself.”

They were clinging to each other, both of them shaking.

“Promised to never leave you again.”

“It’s okay. We’ll get through this. Also, Eddie is driving us home because I refuse to let go of you.”

“I am?”

“You are.”

“And then you’re staying, too.” Steve added.

“I am.” There was a smile to Eddie’s voice at that.

Despite everything, Steve liked him and felt safe with him. Hopefully Eddie would never do anything to break that.

[newgrangespirals]

At this point it just feels as if the Duffers are punishing Steve for being a fan favorite when they did not want him to be. He is the cool, good-looking jock. I always got the impression that Jonathan was a stand in for the writers. He does some really shady things that no one ever brings up again, but people constantly bring up Steve being an asshole, when, on screen, we really only see him acting reactionary toward what he perceives to the be the truth. In season one, a girl goes missing from his backyard and a kid goes missing at the same time. Then he learns that a guy (already known for intentionally isolating himself) was in the woods behind his house the night the girl goes missing taking photos of his girlfriend changing. Then he learns that that same guy’s brother is the kid that went missing. I know what I would think in that situation. Steve does not know anything supernatural is going on. Then that same guy starts hanging around the girlfriend that he was stalking the same night her best friend disappeared. I would think he might have had something to do with it as well, regardless of the assumed cheating. Which is probably a trigger for him if Tommy’s comment about his parents meant anything.

However, Steve realizes he took it too far and apologized and made it right. That should have been the end of it. And moving into season 2 it was. Steve was partnered with Dustin and the Lucas and Max and was really cool and decent about the whole Nancy and Jonathan (even though this time she was cheating on him), however, putting Steve and Dustin together made the character too popular. The jock with a heart of gold and that was protective of the kids was never supposed to be a fan favorite. Jonathan was the artistic loner type, he was supposed to be the one everyone loves the most. Steve was supposed to get his comeuppance and have everyone cheer at the jock getting knocked down by a bigger jock. But that is not how it went.

Moving into season three, they are just straight up punishing the character. Everyone trets him like an idiot, even when he brings up legitimate points, and is the one to identify the music. Starting with Robin and her “Mr. Cool” speech. I love her and the scene in the bathroom is one of the most beautiful and well done of the show. But when they are tied up on the floor (after Steve has just been tortured) is not the time to tell this guy that he was a piece of shit for not noticing you. Robin was the year below Steve, why would he know her? Also, her sophomore year would have been 1983, he had other things going on. The only reason she didn’t like him is that her crush had a crush on him (something that was not Steve’s fault).

Every character on the show is consistently telling Steve that he is stupid, he can’t win fights (something absolutely untrue), and that he still needs to make up for being kinda a dick when he weas 17. He hasn’t been that way for years, and these are supposed to be his friends. Everyone has been just as much an asshole as we see Steve being in season 1 at some point. Mike and Dustin abandon their friend and don’t go to a very important game for him because he dared to have interests that they thought were stupid, all on the whim of a guy they have known for less than a year. Eddie himself won’t change the day. It would be easy to. Lucas doesn’t have control over the game schedule, but Eddie can change Hellfire. Asshole move. Nancy never recognized her part in the breakup with Steve. He was trying and she was not communicating her needs effectively, and then she told him, in the most brutal way possible, that she had been faking their year long relationship. She could have al least acknowledged that she hurt him and then cheated on him. Again Jonathan took naked pictures from the woods of Nancy without her knowledge, and then developed them in the school darkroom.

I am not saying Steve never messed up and did something wrong. He did. But he was never as bad as both the show and parts of the fandom want to make you believe. He is also the only one who has apologized for his behavior and then changed for the better afterward. Yet everyone in his life won’t let him grow with the change. They are still telling him he is that same asshole, stupid, jock. They keep punishing him for behavior he has grown past for years. Season 4 Steve is still paying for the things season 1 Steve did, where as, all the other characters are allowed to move past their mistakes with out everyone bringing them up every five minutes. Steve is the only character not allowed his deserved redemption arc, even though we watched it happen on screen.

It just kinds bothers me. What is the point of apologies and true regret and sincere growth, if everyone is still going to bring up things you did as a teenager. That really sucks if that is the case. Everyone else is allowed to say sorry and move on. Except for Steve.

[peonyslumber]

Everybody wants to love you

S5|in-villa|Chapter 2|Suresh/Mc| 4,535 words

Author’s note: Story title idea from the song ‘Everybody wants to love you’ by the artist Japanese Breakfast. Chapter title idea from the song ‘Sunflower’ by the artist Michele Leigh.

If you haven’t already, check out Chapter 1 - More. Chapter 2 will be loosely based on episodes 3, 4, and 5. Otherwise, set back, relax, and enjoy!

Almost forgot to mention. Before you dive into this chapter, this chapter includes a saucy scene, but not full-on bits, at least not yet! I’ll give a warning before it gets to that part, so you’ll be able to choose to either read or scroll through it.

Chapter 2 - Sunflower

After having a chill evening with Suresh, I pulled Finn for a chat.

I held Finn’s hand and led him into the unoccupied bathroom.

“I’m glad I could finally catch you before Kat can get her claws on you again.” I chuckled, leaning against the sink counter.

He flexed his muscles. “How could anyone resist?” He waved his hand around. “I usually have a fan club on me. I’m thinking Kat is the username, ‘WhiskersMrsBubble’.” He tapped his chin.

The corner of my lip quirked up. “You’re not wrong. But if you see, ‘Basildonsgirl’ you’ve got her!” I pretended to shoot with my finger guns.

He shook his head. “She’s really something, but I’m certain you didn’t pull me away to talk about her.”

I bit my lower lip. “You’re correct! Listen, although I think you’re an amazing guy… I need some answers from Suresh, and in order to do that, I’ll need to get to know him all over again.” I tapped my foot on the floor. “I hope you understand my wishes.”

I brushed my hand against his shoulder. “You’ll be just fine!”

He swiftly took my hand in his, twirling me around.

Making me gasp, “Finn!” I quietly exclaimed.

“I know. I know. If that is really what you want, so be it! But I reckon your quest won’t be entirely what you’re looking for.” He stared profusely into my eyes, “And if that day ever comes… I’m hoping you’ll take me up on that offer.”

Head hanging low as my hand gently separated us, “I’ll keep that in mind. Please keep this between us.” I glanced at him before leaving the bathroom.

I kept my head down, thinking about what Finn said. ‘won’t be entirely what you’re looking for’. Ugh. But before I knew it, I slammed into Eddie’s chest.

He quickly caught me before I fell. “Sorry!” His eyes darted behind me.

I turned around to see Finn walk ahead of us. “Listen, it isn’t what it looks like!”

His jaw clenched. “It’s fine!” He sat down on one of the beds. “You don’t have to worry. I won’t tell anyone. Could you do me a favor?” He looked up.

I licked my lips. “Sure. What is it?”

“Everything is going well with Kat. I mean, we have so much in common. But I fear that Finn is going to ruin that, and we know Finn doesn’t actually want Kat. I don’t want her to chase after him and end up hurt. Would you be able to stir him away from picking her?”

My jaw dropped, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Eddie, I can’t control who he picks, but I’ll see what I can do. I can tell how much you care for her.”

He smiled before jumping off the bed to hug me, “Thank you!” He let go quickly, “You don’t know how much this means to me. Usually, all the girls I’ve dated were far too mature to like my drama-craving nature.”

I lifted my eyebrow. “Is that really what they had issues with?”

He nodded his head. “But it’s all good. I’m practically friends with all my exes. I never want to end a relationship on bad terms. Always want to leave them on good terms.”

“Why do they usually all end?”

“They say being with me is like being with their girlfriends. Which is kind of mean if you ask me. I may have sort of told one of my ex’s friends that she was talking about her. I just thought that she should know.” He threw his hands up, “I didn’t know there would be that much fallout as a result.”

I bit my lip, “We can’t always be our best.” I patted him on the shoulder. “I should go get ready for bed. I’m sure the rest are already coming, anyway. See ya!” I waved to Eddie before heading to the bathroom.

I smiled as I saw Suresh.

“What’s up?” I raised my eyebrow. “Did you know that the earwax in our ears is the safest bodily fluid out of the others?” I looked over to him while grabbing my toothbrush and applying a little toothpaste.

“Okay, smart, Nyra.” He chuckled.

“Oh, that takes me back.” I flashed a wide smile, “Remember… when we bumped into each other during a meeting?” I turned to him.

He always had those dreamy eyes, the eyes that smother you with love and lust. This time was no different. He looked absolutely smitten. The kind that reminds me why I fell for him.

“How could I forget?” He licked his lips, “You were wearing this checkered dress that later ended up getting stained by my coffee…”

I looked down at the mess. My mouth agape, “Oh. My. Gosh! This is my favorite dress.” I shrieked.

The man stood in shock. Stammering to find anything to clean the mess up. He threw down a brown wool like product on the floor.

Wait a minute. “That looks just like my cardigan.” I choked on my words, “That is my cardigan!”

I turned to him, “I know you’re trying to help, but… you’re just making it worse.”

I grabbed a bag and threw my wet cardigan in it. I headed to the break room, where paper towels stood on the counter.

When I returned, the man was gone. I threw my hands up and finished cleaning up the mess he made. I headed to where my locker would be, but I had no extra clothes.

“How great!” I rolled my eyes and headed to where Papina would be. “Don’t even say it! I know.”

Her eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their socket.

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” She tapped the countertop. “But I do know one thing.” She smiled widely.

“Yeah. And what’s that?” I raised my brow and folded my arms.

She pointed to something behind me. Or should I say someone?

“You!” I scolded him. “Thanks for the mess.”

“Now. Now. Myrna. Take the time to listen to what he has to say.”

I bit my lip in anticipation.

His well figured, well toned, muscular, Adonis built body stood in a fancy tailored suit.

“Well, I felt horrible about the accident earlier, and realized you needed an outfit. So I guess in exchange for the mess I created… I’d like to buy you something. As a form of an apology.”

The way he talked. His accent. I could tell he wasn’t from here. But he had the voice that any girl would fond over, especially in a call or an audiobook. The type that can have you head over heels with just a simple word.

His eyes burned with such passion. It almost felt like they were staring into my soul. Speaking the same tongue.

Could he and I be analyzing each other? Or was it only me?

I heard clapping noises from Papina. “Answer the hunk, Myrna. Or I’ll be taking him up on his offer.”

“I don’t need your money. Or what your money can buy.” I was going to turn on my heels, but a strong, firm arm stopped me.

I looked up at him. Our eyes aligned like the stars in constellations. He had such alluring green eyes. The way his hair was set, it was perfect. You could tell he cleaned up well. It almost felt like he came from a movie, one where he gets the girl of his dreams, the one he has been chasing after his whole life.

I shook my head.

How delusional of me to think someone like him would ever go for someone like myself

“How dare you…” I mumbled, “I will not-"

“It really wasn’t a choice. Your dress is soaked. That can’t be too comfortable. Let down your pride, Nyra.” He whispered.

I sighed, “Fine!” My cheeks felt warm. “Nobody has ever really called me Nyra before.”

“Well, I guess I’ll be the first.” His smile slipped. He looked around, “Now. Where does it scream? Nyra.”

I wrapped my hands around Suresh’s neck. “You were always so persistent.”

He held my hips. “And you were always so stubborn. Always felt like you had to go about things by yourself, needing no one.”

I chuckled, “It wasn’t always like that. Don’t you remember who you were? Before we got together?” I raised my eyebrow.

A knock interrupted us. Finn stood in the doorway. Nodding his head our way.

I sighed, slid my hand down Suresh’s torso until they were back to my side, and walked out.

I headed to the dressing room, where Dana stood.

I grabbed my makeup remover and took off all in a day’s work of makeup. Feeling refreshed as I patted my skin and added a light fragrance free face lotion.

“Oi! I always love knowing others' routines. Is that a face lotion?” Dana peered over to the mini bottle in my hand.

I nodded my head, “Ding! Ding! It’s the one thing I can count on to give me a sense of whiplash, and the good kind. It also doesn’t make me breakout. I’ve got sensitive skin.” I put it down on the table.

While grabbing my chapstick, Kat strolls in.

“Hey! Who’s getting it in tonight?” She looked at us through the mirror, “I'm thinking it’s going to take a lot more confirmation from me for Eddie to do anything. Like a true gentleman.” She slightly smiled.

Dana’s eyes lit up. “Oh my! That reminds me of something that happened back home in Manchester. I had gone on a date with this really kind-hearted Argentinian fella, and everything was going so swell, but then it got awkward once it got to doing any bits. I suppose the reassurance was for safe measures. All in good faith! Safe to say, we only went on four to five dates until we stopped seeing each other.”

Kat looked up. “Why is that? Do you think that whole thing in the bedroom had anything to do with it?” She had a worried look plastered on her face.

Dana shook her head. “It was mostly because of our schedules. I found that our communication wasn’t where I wanted it to be. It didn’t feel fulfilling, or should I say I didn’t feel fulfilled or noticed, to even want to continue.”

Kat grabbed her cosmetic headband. “Oh, I’ve had a lot of those.” She pulled it over her head, down to her neck and untucked her hair, “There are times I look back and wonder… would things have been different if we didn’t have conflicting schedules? Maybe that’s because I just desperately wanted it to work.”

She quickly snapped her head in our direction. “Don’t tell anyone I said that. There is not a moment I’m desperate. Usually, it’s men being desperate over me.”

Dana and I nodded our heads.

“Let’s go get tucked into bed!” Dana pumped the air before hurriedly pulling us out of the dressing room.

I dragged my feet across the floor until I arrived at the right side of the bed. “Move.” I told Suresh.

He rolls over. “Nothing changes with you.”

I threw my pillow at him and earned a snicker from him.

“You better stop laughing, Eshy.” My forehead creased as I knew what I had started.

His mouth set in a hard line, “You did not just call me Eshy.”

The corner of my mouth lifted. “Oh, I did. Eshy bubs.”

He swiftly pulled me into bed, making me fall on top of him.

“You’re going to get it now.”

I bit my lip before I felt the covers pull over us.

“And what are you going to do about it, Eshy?” I seductively whispered.

Mature scene

He got on top of me and straddled my lap.

“You’ll see…”

He kissed me and worked his way down to my chest. He loosened the strings on my robe and tossed it to the lower part of the bed. He made circles around my breasts, taking his time to tease me.

He sucked on my right nipple, making me moan in pleasure. He placed his hand over my mouth, “Remember… there’s other people in the room”

He looked up at me while sucking on my breast. Whilst he was doing that, he started untying my silk shorts and pulling them off. He did the same to his silk pants too.

He kissed all the way down to my thighs and stopped. “I forgot how perfect you are.”

He slid down my panties and hungrily licked his lips. He kissed my inner thighs, trailing up and stopping exactly where he knew I would be pleading to be pleasured.

He knows just how to make me shiver with just his touch. I covered my mouth my hand on top of his as he kept my mouth shut, making a muffled moan.

As he was preparing me with circular motions. He paused and lifted my legs on his shoulders. He searched in his silk pants for something.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"I’m searching for condoms..." He sighed with desperation. “I guess I didn’t grab any from that bowl.”

"Well… why don’t we cuddle instead?”

He nodded his head. “You’re right! Doing that can wait. We have all the time in the world for that. Let’s just enjoy the silence for now.”

Shortly after saying that, my eyes began to feel heavy and I drifted off to sleep.

I rolled over so much that I rolled on top of Suresh. I yawned.

“Good morning to you too!”

With my eyes kept close, “Uresh, you know I’m not good with my mornings. But… I’ll play nice. Good morning!” I yawned again.

He slightly threw me off of him. “Sorry, beautiful. But if we’re going to get you up. Something has to give, and it might be… your sleep. And possibly your kindness towards me for right now.”

“Suresh, what are you talking about?”

And before I knew it I landed flat on my back.

“Usually, when I’m in this position. I’m getting something. But all I want to get now… is revenge.” I shot back up and ran around the room after Suresh.

“Now if it isn’t miss moan for me.” Kat sat up in bed, looking over at Suresh and i.

Dana popped her head in from the dressing room. “Kat, let’s not act like I didn’t find you two competing for the loudest.”

I threw a pillow at Suresh. “Nothing happened last night.” Then hurriedly went to get dressed.

“Nothing happened, huh?” Dana looked at me through the mirror.

I nodded my head.

“I’m sure that’s true.” She lifted her eyebrow, still skeptical.

I exhaled, “There was a little saucy moment, but we didn’t do bits.”

Kat walked in right when I said that.

“How unfortunate!” She added some lip gloss to her lips, “I put those model hands to good use yesterday.” She giggled.

Dana yawned, “Alfie and I didn’t do anything. Hard when there are other people in the room.” She bit her lip, “But at least you lads had a good time. I’m going real slow with Alfie.”

Kat puckered up her lips while applying a hot pink sheer lip gloss, “Going real slow?” She raised her brow, “Is that what we call waiting for the next best thing, and from where I’m standing… I’m assuming it’s Finn.”

Dana sighed, “Don’t start, Kat! I barely know the guy.”

Kat giggled, “And you barely know Alfie. Don’t get me wrong, Alfie’s a good guy, but we all know you have a fear of commitment. Collide heads with someone that… reminds you of yourself. Finn doesn’t seem like the settle down type either.”

Dana fixed her eyebrows, “That is not true! I don’t have a fear of commitment. If anything I thought you and Finn would be a great pair.”

Kat flipped her hair, “Why is that? Is it because he said we would be?” She looked at us.

We shook our heads, “no.”

She turned back around, “Well, I’ll have you know that when I’m into someone I go all in. I’m not afraid to commit. I had a few guys that were…” she looked down, “…wasted my time. A lesson learnt”

Dana lifted her hair up and grabbed a scrunchie to put it in a ponytail.

“By the way…” Dana shifted in her spot, “Myrna, have you even discussed what went on with you two in the past?” She asked me.

My eyes landed on the makeup that stood on the table.

Now that I’m thinking about it… we haven’t exactly talked about her, the woman who I stayed up thinking about. The one who made him forget he had me. He and I weren’t exactly the best at confrontation. We usually tried our best to avoid it, but I guess we couldn't for long.

“Umm… no. We haven’t.” I bit my lip, “But we’re going to.”

Eddie pops his head in the room, “Well, you all are looking very elegant tonight.” His eyes stopped on Kat, “Especially you.” He sighed, “But Finn had received a text, so hurry.”

We nodded our heads and we’re about done getting ready. We rushed down to the living room.

“Finally!” Finn laughed out.

“Let’s get to what the text says now.” Kat says impatiently.

“Okay! Okay!” Finn quickly says before proceeding to read it out loud.

Finn, you’ll be going on a date in the order from the girl you feel the most connected to. Get ready to get your date on, and make sure she fits that old woman love #Adatetoremember #Finnchoice

My eyes wandered to Suresh who stumbled and quickly composed himself.

“I guess you can probably see! It might be me first, but I’m hoping you choose Dana.” Kat licked her lips.

Finn chuckled, “Well, alright! I was actually going to choose Dana first anyways.” Then his eyes landed on me, “Then Myrna…” he went back to Kat, “Then you!”

She gasped, “That is highly offensive.” She rolled her eyes, going back to Eddie’s side.

Eddie raised his eyebrow, “Don’t worry, babe! Maybe it’s for the best.” Putting his arm around her shoulder, making her nod her head and smile.

“You’re right!” She smacked her lips together, “Let’s just get this over with Finn.” She rolled her eyes.

He ran his hand through his hair, “Alright! Alright! Calm down. Since y’all got dressed already… I see no need to specifically dress for this date.”

He turned to Dana, extending his arm out for her to link with his. “Let’s go to something that I think we’ll both enjoy.”

Dana looked back at Kat and I, giggling before returning her gaze on Finn.

My head snapped as I noticed Suresh missing from where he was. I looked through all the rooms and went up to the rooftop.

I saw him looking out at the view. He turned around.

He forced a smile. “I knew it was you the minute I heard those shoes clicking on the floor.”

I chuckled, “I think I recalled you buying these specific shoes for me on my birthday. You got quite used to them.” I took a spot on the sofa, grabbing my knee bringing it up to my chest.

I looked down, “Suresh…?”

His eyes scanned my face. Immediately, it clicked. Like it always did.

Softly whispering, “Myrna…?”

I licked my lips.

Trying to find the right words to say. You would think it would come easy for us. Tip toeing around seemed too old, yet so familiar.

My eyes glimmered. “I never got to…” I swallowed the lump in my throat before looking up at him, “… say what I really felt. I just want to know… do you still think back to that night? And does it keep you up at night like it does to me?”

I held up my hand, continuing.

“How long would you have kept the affair from going if I didn’t find out when I did?”

He sighed, “I don’t think back to that night like you think I do, or in that way. I stare at my ceiling, wondering if there was a way to take back the hurt I caused you. You were never supposed to find out, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have ended it. I was trying to… I promise.” His eyes sparkled, and he scooted closer to me.

“And now there’s a new guy here who is grafting on you. I can’t help but feel jealous… but I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.” He snarled, shaking his head, "Now you know the old me would have never said that, but I don't want to mess up my chance with you, and I can't help but feel like I will."

I opened my mouth, words about to formulate out of it but were stopped by Kat running over to the couch.

"He wants to take you on a date." She pulled me out from the sofa, "You should have seen Dana when she came back. Her mouth was widened." She sighed, "I would have never guessed she'd be my competition."

I glanced back at Suresh before being pulled downstairs and greeted by Finn.

He smiled, "Now if there is one thing about us Dublin men is our immaculate taste in dates."

He led me to the little picnic that wasn't too far from the villa.

"I promise you won't leave disappointed, but I do hope you don't mind me cranking open a beer bottle." He turned to me, "Would you prefer that or some other drink?"

I shook my head, "Beer upsets my stomach," Before sitting down, "Do you have a cold glass of water?"

He checked the cooler before proceeding to throw up a bottle of water and catching it before it landed on the ground.

"That was a close one."

He settled down on the picnic blanket.

He rubbed his beard with one of his hands, "I guess I should tell you more about myself."

I chuckled, "I think that would be a terrific way to start."

He fiddled with some grapes, "I don't want to ever give you the wrong idea, and I want you to know where I am at in my life, so if that isn't exactly what you need right now... I wouldn't be wasting your time."

I nodded my head, agreeing with what he was saying.

"I'm not really looking to settle down yet or get married right now. That's just not what I'm looking for currently."

I tilted my head, "Then why did you come to love island then? I would have to assume you come here to at least be with someone, in a relationship, if that is what you're referring to."

He licked his lips before sitting up straight.

"It's not like I'm here to play the field. If the connection is right, maybe it'll change my mind."

I snickered, grabbing my fork and taking a bite out of my salad.

"So are you saying that Dana, Kat, or I... have to change your mind?” I slightly cracked a smirk, “Tell me more about yourself. Something you think I’d care to know.”

He blew out a heavy sigh, “I’ve never cheated. I’ve been real caught up with my job that I haven’t really had time for a proper relationship. I’ve had many flings with women… particularly, older more experienced ones. They’ve taught me many of my tricks that I know today.” He grinned as he looked out into the open.

I licked my teeth before smiling, "I feel you on that one. I’ve always been attracted to older men. I guess you can tell by my choice in picking Suresh, but he isn’t much older." I took a sip of my water, "Tell me about your family." I tilted my head and used my arms for support.

He cracked his neck before looking down.

"My mom is amazing. She mostly tends to her garden and has a boutique shop very popular during the wedding season. My dad actually got me into what I do for a living..."

He loved talking about his family. He was an only child, and his mother was mostly busy with keeping everything in check so he spent most of his time with his father. He also expresses that he thinks that marriage is okay, but wouldn't want to force settling and end up hurting his partner.

"... My parents relationship... I've always admired it. It's kind of hard to think I'd ever find something like that, that could live up to my expectations."

I straightened my posture, looking at the almost empty water bottle.

"Most people would lie about their goals in life, their hopes, and dreams to impress or get with the person they're into. But you, you're honest. You don't hide a thing and you are blunt. You probably know that some of the stuff you told me would make me turned off from you, but you say it anyway. Rare."

He chuckled, "I don't try to be someone else because what happens when that lie I told catches up to me and the person who only got with me because of that lie... no longer can look at me? I can't allow someone to love an image of me. I found that they rarely work out in the end."

The time had come when the date was over. And we looked at each other before heading back, but before we reached the others he held my hands.

His eyes wrinkled as his smile grew. "I really enjoyed this date, even if I know what you really want." He sighed, releasing my hands.

The others came running up to us.

"You guys were roughly two minutes late." Kat raised her eyebrow. "And just missed Alfie's ability to make a sick drink."

Dana giggled behind Kat. "You know the season where Ibrahim had made a drink and named it 'violet man'?" I nodded my head.

"Well. Alfie decided to make it, and let me tell you..." She leaned in. "It was so good!"

Kat pushed a hair back behind her ear. "So good that Alfie might just get lucky." She smirked at Dana.

Dana snapped her head, "Kat! Stop it." She looked away, hiding the blush.

Suresh stayed back where it looked like him and Eddie were conversating. Which was odd. Suresh never had many friends. When we were together, my mates were his mates. He only had three mates while we were together. Who knows how many now? But I find it odd for him to be this social?

I thought to myself, but Kat shortly interrupted my thoughts.

"... But anyway, it looks like you and Suresh are getting pretty serious. I mean, it's a little hot seeing him tell his competitors to graft off, not like Eddie would really graft on you. " She looked me up and down.

My mouth agape, "He did what?"

This information completely took me by surprise. If he meant what he said on the rooftop, why was he telling the only men in the villa to graft off me?

I squinted my eyes, sending daggers in Suresh's direction.

Telling porkies is exactly like old Suresh... and I'd hate to find out that nothing has really changed from who he was then to who he is now.

Tags: @fujihime-litg, @willemkimura, @theesocialintrovert

[thenukacolachallenge]

i’m calling a few things now for stranger things 5:

-it feels pretty obvious by now that Eddie is coming back in some capacity. if they don’t bring him back it’ll honestly be a huge missed opportunity, not just from a fan perspective but also from a business perspective. it really feels like they set his death up deliberately to bring him back if Joe Quinn knocked it out of the park, and he very much did. the fact that they didn’t show his body nor the team/Dustin’s exit from the Upside Down seems pretty deliberate to give some validity to the “he may come back to life somehow” rumor mill. i may be overestimating their writing team and this was completely accidental, but also throw in the fact that he’s STILL doing a ton of press, specifically with Jamie Campbell Bower(who plays Vecna) even though his character is supposedly dead and not coming back(i’m just saying, they tried to pull this last season with Hopper, and it didn’t seem to work much then either)? it could potentially set up Vecna somehow bringing him back and controlling him like he did with Billy or with Will. the whole parallels to Wayne’s outfit in his scene with Dustin matching Jonathan’s outfit from s1, the parallels from the music in the scenes of both Eddie’s death and Will’s revival? it just seems like these weren’t things that were done on accident, imo. and even if they were accidental, they could still retroactively make them work if they really wanted to milk the Eddie love for all it’s worth(and judging from his popularity, it’s worth quite a bit). at the very least i won’t be surprised if we see some flashbacks, or visions from Vecna, or something.

-also, i think if he does come back proper, his story will likely mirror Will’s experiences from s1 and s2. piggybacking off my last point, there’s already some evidence for a potential of that with what i mentioned, and i feel like it could set up for Will to somehow save him(pure speculation on my part but it’d be fun to see lol). his story could also mirror Billy’s, but with a twist that at least Eleven knows how to save people from Vecna’s control now, and could potentially save him a lot sooner.

-i think this’ll also be the season we finally see someone from s1 die. my money’s on Eleven, Will, or Johnathan/Steve(either one of them in an attempt to subvert the whole love triangle thing we supposedly had resolved two fuckin seasons ago).

-possibly also Ted Wheeler, but i also feel that Karen might finally divorce him if they both live through all this. either way i feel like Ted’s bubble is about to burst in a hilarious yet terrible way if he doesn’t just flat-out kick the bucket.

-i also don’t think Max is going to survive either. judging from interviews with the duffer brothers i’ve seen, they were really on the fence on whether or not to kill her off, and so they kind of settled for this in-between state she’s currently in. i feel like if they do go ahead and kill off someone from s1, then they’ll probably do the same to her, since they already pulled the bandaid off. it’ll make me very sad if they do, but i do feel like this may be her eventual fate.

-i really have a feeling(or at least a hope) we’ll finally see more of Kali this season. it’d feel very weird if her story just left off where it did, although there’s always the potential for spinoffs if they don’t include her. it just seems like maybe if Eleven herself isn’t strong enough to stop Vecna, that her big sister would finally come to her senses and come help to save the day. idk, it just really seems like it’d be a waste if she didn’t come back.

-i have no evidence for this but i just really want Murray to analyze the El/Mike/WIll thing and chide the original teens for continuing the dumb love triangle thing. i also just want more of Murray. and Argyle. and Erica. and i want all of them to interact. and if the duffer brothers hurt them i will do donuts on a motorcyle all over their nice lawns.

[newgrangespirals]

At this point it just feels as if the Duffers are punishing Steve for being a fan favorite when they did not want him to be. He is the cool, good-looking jock. I always got the impression that Jonathan was a stand in for the writers. He does some really shady things that no one ever brings up again, but people constantly bring up Steve being an asshole, when, on screen, we really only see him acting reactionary toward what he perceives to the be the truth. In season one, a girl goes missing from his backyard and a kid goes missing at the same time. Then he learns that a guy (already known for intentionally isolating himself) was in the woods behind his house the night the girl goes missing taking photos of his girlfriend changing. Then he learns that that same guy’s brother is the kid that went missing. I know what I would think in that situation. Steve does not know anything supernatural is going on. Then that same guys starts hanging around the girlfriend that he was stalking the same night her best friend disappeared. I would think he might have had something to do with it as well, regardless of the assumed cheating. Which is probably a trigger for him if Tommy’s comment about his parents meant anything. 

However, Steve realizes he took it too far and apologized and made it right. That should have been the end of it. And moving into season 2 it was. Steve was partnered with Dustin and the Lucas and Max and was really cool and decent about the whole Nancy and Jonathan (even though this time she was cheating on him), however, putting Steve and Dustin together made the character too popular. The jock with a heart of gold and that was protective of the kids was never supposed to be a fan favorite. Jonathan was the artistic loner type, he was supposed to be the one everyone loves the most. Steve was supposed to get his comeuppance and have everyone cheer at the jock getting knocked down by a bigger jock. But that is not how it went.

Moving into season three, they are just straight up punishing the character. Everyone trets him like an idiot, even when he brings up legitimate points, and is the one to identify the music. I agree with the comment on Robin. I love her and the scene in the bathroom is one of the most beautiful and well done of the show. But when they are tied up on the floor (after Steve has just been tortured) is not the time to tell this guy that he was a piece of shit for not noticing you? Robin was the year below Steve, why would he know her? Also, her sophomore year would have been 1983, he had other things going on. The only reason she didn’t like him is that her crush had a crush on him (something that was not Steve’s fault). 

Every character on the show is consistently telling Steve that he is stupid, he can’t win fights (something absolutely untrue), and that he still needs to make up for being kinda a dick when he weas 17. He hasn’t been that way for years, and these are supposed to be his friends. Everyone has been just as much an asshole as we see Steve being in season 1 at some point. Mike and Dustin abandon their friend and don’t go to a very important game for him because he dared to have interests that they thought were stupid, all on the whim of a guy they have known for less than a year. Eddie himself won’t change the day. It would be easy to. Lucas doesn’t have control over the game schedule, but Eddie can change Hellfire. Asshole move, almost jockish. Nancy never recognized her part in the breakup with Steve. He was trying and she was not communicating her needs effectively, and then she told him, in the most brutal way possible, that she had been faking their year long relationship. She could have al least acknowledged that she hurt him and then cheated on him. Again Jonathan took naked pictures from the woods of Nancy without her knowledge, and then developed them in the school darkroom. 

I am not saying Steve never messed up and did something wrong. He did. But he was never as bad as both the show and parts of the fandom want to make you believe. He is also the only one who has apologized for his behavior and then changed for the better afterward. Yet everyone in his life won’t let him grow with the change. They are still telling him he is that same asshole, stupid, jock. They keep punishing him for behavior he has grown past for years. Season 4 Steve is still paying for the things season 1 Steve did, where as, all the other characters are allowed to move past their mistakes with out everyone bringing them up every five minutes. Steve is the only character not allowed his deserved redemption arc, even though we watched it happen on screen. 

It just kinds bothers me. What is the point of apologies and true regret and sincere growth, if everyone is still going to bring up things you did as a teenager. That really sucks if that is the case. Everyone else is allowed to say sorry and move on. Except for Steve. 

still 6 months later confused by jonathan’s little ‘who would’ve been in charge, steve?” dig bc it felt more like the writers going “ok and lets add more tension here between jonathan and nancy bc nancy’s spent all season seeing that steve is a good guy. love triangle tease!!” than like a real thing that he would say. also again shitting on steve for no reason bc he’s there for them to be a punching bag. “he’s actually grown up quite a bit” annoyed me a little too. sorry he spent the last four seasons going through the horrors just like u guys? like jonathan and nancy did you not think steve pre-s4 had matured at all or did u just not talk to him. personally i think s5 steve should get to snap just a little just for fun

lord i knowwww 😭 i’ve talked about this before but i feel like every single season they make steve redo his redemption arc based on who he’s hanging around. at the end of s1 we got his actual original redemption when he cleaned off the marquee, went to apologize to jonathan on his own volition, and ran back in to help save nancy and jonathan after which he gave jonathan the new camera. s2 it’s understandable that they’d want to continue showing steve work on himself and i think the closure between him and nancy via him outright being like “hey it’s okay if you want to be with jonathan” was very necessary, plus showing his growth as a person through his relationship with the kids was genius. s3 is where it gets weird because it’s like okay it is now the summer of 1985 and steve’s last act of evil was in fall of 1983 and yet we’re still scolding him for …. being judgey about theatre kids …… and then after he builds a friendship with robin and literally gets tortured in front of her they STILL have her stop to be like hey btw steve you don’t remember me from class so you’re an asshole. apologize rn. and THEN in s4 we’re STILL having him hear another “i thought you were evil but then i saw you almost die horrifically in an act of self sacrifice so….maybe you’re alright harrington :)” speech from eddie this time. and then the little comment from jonathan is clearly setting us up to do it all over again in s5 and it’s like oh my god we GET ITTTTTTT how many times does steve have to experience the horrors and almost die for you guys before you’re willing to stop lecturing him on something he Already apologized for!!!! that’s why it’s so insane to me when people are like “yeah well steve never actually apologized” like 1. do you guys want every moment of character development to be explicitly spelled out in the most literal sense have you ever heard of show not tell and 2. he is literally still apologizing 4 seasons later

[urfavstargirl1]

Show Me What You've Got - Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Part 3 to the series Chemistry, Part 2

stranger things masterlist | Spotify playlist link

summary: It's Y/N and Eddie's last night working on their assignment. After a bad day at school, the two end up studying at Eddie's place. By the end of the night, the two finish their assignment, guitar playing from Y/N and Eddie ensue, heart's are opened, and Y/N's gives Eddie a surprise goodbye.

cw: yearning, angst, fluff, era-appropriate racism/sexism (optional latina!reader insert w/ minor references), hurt/comfort, shy/nerdy!reader, pre-ST4, cocky!Eddie, romance, slow burn, mutual pining, swearing

a/n: theres many so here goes:

1. This was meant to be a filler chapter but ended up being the longest one I've ever written lmao so buckle up because a lot happens 2. I realize it's highly improbable a student like Eddie and a straight A student like Y/N would be in the same class or in a chemistry class for their senior year, but for the sake of this story, let’s ~pretend~. 3. Also for any of my astrology baddies, I'm big time convinced Eddie has a pisces placement. I’m thinking maybe sagittarius sun pisces moon and Y/N is very much influenced by me and my virgo moon so i feel like this chapter (this whole series) really exemplifies that opposition/synastry lol. 4. get ready for hella yearning, teasing, flirting, hurt, comfort, and just all the cuteness

On the way home from Y/N’s house, Eddie’s mind and heart are racing. Instead of focusing on the road before him, his mind wanders to the nervous look on Y/N’s face or the adorable quiver in her lip.

When he gets to the trailer, the lights are off and his uncle’s car is nowhere to be seen. He unlocks the door and enters the dark space. He flicks on the light and trudges to his room where he flops on the bed and looks up at the ceiling fan. 

He folds his hands behind his head and sighs. “Goddamn it Y/N, what are you doing to me,” he wonders aloud. 

He turns over to his bedside table and rummages through the drawer. He pulls out one of his premade joints and a lighter. He props himself up on his elbows and lights it. He takes a puff and draws a long inhale. He exhales a cloud of smoke and a tension in his shoulders dissipates. His heart, however, is still pounding loudly in his chest from the moment that just transpired: he had asked Y/N, sweet, innocent, beautiful Y/N, if she’d ever had sex before.

 Why did he even ask her that? Well, in the moment, it felt like the right thing to say, but now, he worries he might’ve taken things too far.

It’s not like it’s his responsibility to help her explore something as personal as her sensuality, but she just looked so lost and confused. Like she was completely in the dark and the only person who had ever shone a light on the subject was him. 

He wouldn’t be surprised if sex was another thing on the list of forbidden fruits her parents ordained on her, but he at least expected her to have some sort of girlish curiosity about it, not just avoid the subject completely.

Regardless, it was obvious she had never had sex before, but despite the fact that she was clearly embarrassed about it, she never denied it. He knows for a fact that anybody else would have and made up some story to pretend like they had, but she didn’t and that was refreshing to him.

By the end of the night, he comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t regret what happened, but he knows that he needs to be careful. He doesn’t want Y/N to think he’s more of a freak than he already is. They’ve only known each other for a matter of days and he’s already managed to screw things up: that’s a record. 

In a way, he’s grateful they won’t meet up tomorrow. The afforded time and space might grant him a shred of dignity back. And yet, he feels like it’ll be too long. As he takes another puff of his joint, he begins to count down the far too many hours before he’ll see her again. 

—- 

The next morning, Y/N wakes up with very little recollection of the night before.

Like any other life altering moment, it kept her up into the night just replaying it, thinking about it, and overthinking about it.

But in the morning, she’s not fully awake enough to remember it just yet. As she opens the blinds to her room and adjusts to the day ahead, she’s reminded of the to-do list full of assignments, activities, and tasks that’ll keep her brain occupied for a while. 

The thought of Eddie finally comes to her as she stands face to face with her closet. She forgot to prepare an outfit the night before and is tasked with choosing one now. It should be a simple enough task. There’s a few outfit combinations in her wardrobe that are tried and true, but a certain pesky thought stops her in her tracks before she can even select one.

What would Eddie think?

Y/N wonders what Eddie would think of any of the outfit choices she has. Would he think this outfit is too dorky? Would he think that outfit is cool? Would he think she looked pretty in whatever it is that she wears? 

Y/N shakes her head as if she could physically remove the thought that way. 

She convinces herself that it doesn’t even matter how she looks because she won’t even be spending time with him after school today. But then she realizes that it doesn’t mean she won’t see him at all.

During class, she’ll have to tell him that they’ll have to meet at 4:30 tomorrow instead because she has an appointment with her guidance counselor after school. 

It’ll only be a five minute conversation, so why base a whole outfit for the day based on a brief interaction, especially with a boy she has no business wanting to impress? 

And yet, she finds herself wanting to look good, for him. 

The realization makes her want to crawl out of her skin. She’s never been so boy crazy as to want to look good for a boy before. She sees that sort of hypnosis in her close friends who have boyfriends. From that moment forward, Y/N promised herself she wouldn’t succumb to that madness, yet here she is now. 

It’s silly to be worrying about this. She has college applications and exams and other, far more important, things to be worrying about. And besides, what's the point of a high school relationship? Not that she’s even imagining a relationship with Eddie, but while she’s on the subject, she reminds herself that they’re futile. 

This time next year, she’ll be away at college, many many miles away from Hawkins. And she can’t make permanent plans based on temporary people, so it’s futile to keep incorporating Eddie into her thoughts like this.

Eddie is just a boy that she has to work on an assignment with. It’s fun working with him, sure, but that’s all he is. Nothing more and nothing less… Right?

—

By the time Thursday rolls around Eddie’s been eagerly anticipating seeing Y/N again. 

If he had a quarter for every glance he stole at Y/N when he thought she wasn’t looking, he could probably buy another guitar by now. 

It’s not enough just to be able to see her in class, looking at her whenever she pushes up her glasses with her index finger or raises her hand and gives the correct answer to whatever problem the teacher presents them with. 

And it's definitely not enough to sneak glances of her at lunch where her friend group sits on the other side of the cafeteria. 

“Eddie,” Dustin waves a hand in his face.

“What?” Eddie snaps out of his daze.

“We’re voting on when to have the next campaign.” Dustin says with frustration.

“Yeah, yeah I’m down for whatever,” Eddie aloofly responds and shoos Dustin away.

Sometimes, if there’s not too many students walking past Y/N and her group of friends, Eddie will see her talking and laughing. And sometimes, he’ll blame it on his imagination, that when he sees Y/N crane her neck a few times, it’s because she too is searching for him across the sea of students. 

As he sees her laugh and smile, he wonders what she talks about. He also wonders what her friends are like. And he wishes he didn’t care, but a small part of him that he tries to bury wonders what they think of him. What would they think of him and Y/N spending so much time together? 

For the rest of the day, thoughts of Y/N consume Eddie’s head, and by the time school lets out, his blood is pumping rapidly in anticipation. 

Eddie lingers a bit with some of the Hellfire boys, but at 4:25 makes sure to promptly make his way to wait for Y/N by the counselor’s office. 

He almost wanted to bring her something. He thought about it a lot and considered bringing her a snack but he doesn’t know what her favorite candy or soda is. 

He also thought about bringing her some wildflowers from the field by the parking lot, but that would be too much. 

He even thought about bringing her one of his guitar picks, but worried she might think it was too weird or personal, or worse, not even care. 

Maybe it’s too soon to be doing any of those things, but he just wants to do something special for Y/N and make up for the weirdness of Tuesday night. 

He decides that maybe the best way to make it up to her would be to be on his best behavior and try his best to finish their assignment on a good note today.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t catch Y/N on quite a good note that afternoon. 

As he excitedly waits for her by the counselors office, he hopes she’ll appreciate his punctuality, but it proves pointless when it’s 4:35 and she’s still not there. 

He looks down the hall and checks the other side but it’s empty. He checks his watch again and frowns. Why is she taking so long? Did he somehow miss her?

Suddenly, the sound of a doorknob turning catches his attention and he sees Y/N sluggishly exiting the door of the guidance counselors office.

“Yeah, you too,” Y/N weakly mumbles over her shoulder before turning her head forward. 

She comes out in a daze, not even seeing Eddie and his wild mane of hair as she walks out the door like a zombie. 

“Y/N,” he wonders aloud in confusion. She walks slowly with her head hung low and doesn’t stop at the sound of his voice.

“Y/N wait up,” Eddie calls after her but she’s too lost in thought to hear. Eddie jogs to catch up to her and plants his feet in front of her. 

He sees a deep scowl on her face and teeth gnawing on her bottom lip. “Y/N are you okay?”

Y/N stops in her tracks and looks up at him, freed from her spiraling thoughts. She breathes deeply and holds herself steady. 

“Is something wrong?”

Y/N shakes her head and looks away. Eddie says her name in an unconvincing way. 

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks and Y/N looks up. She doesn’t say a word with her lips, but her eyes say it all.

Y/N’s chewing on her bottom lip as she contemplates what she should say or do. None of this concerns him and he probably wouldn’t care anyway. This is her problem and her problem alone to deal with.

“You know you can tell me right?” Eddie says reassuringly as he gently places his hand on her shoulder. Y/N slowly looks from his slender fingers gently gripping on the fabric of her shirt to his leather clad arm to the tattoos peeking out from his collar to the pale skin of his neck, the strong set of his jaw, the warmth of his lips, and the sincerity of his big brown eyes.

“I know we haven’t known each other long, but whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Y/N locks eyes with Eddie and she looks back and forth between his irises. A curtain of stone cold blankness crosses her face. She can’t let Eddie see her like this. It’s embarrassing enough what he’s learned about her, but to see her so weak and emotional like this is the last straw.

“Y/N, I get it if you don’t want to talk about it, but you don’t have to deal with this alone, you know? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Y/N lightly gasps under her breath. Can he hear her thoughts? How does he know what she’s feeling, without her even having to say a word? If she weren’t so self-conscious about her composure, she could just cry at his words. 

She doesn’t want to drag this moment out even more than it already has been, so she tries to give him enough of an explanation that he won’t ask questions and they can just move on from this unspeakably uncomfortable and embarrassing moment.

Y/N shakes her head. “It’s nothing. I just had to speak with the counselor and–” she cuts herself off.

Eddie doesn’t say anything at first. He waits for Y/N to continue her sentence, but when she doesn’t, he asks, “Did something happen in there?”

Y/N hesitates, contemplating if she should even say it out loud, let alone to Eddie. The boy is starting to get too close for comfort.

She looks at him and his big brown eyes and feels her chest tighten. The way he looks at her is unlike the way any boy has ever looked at her. There’s a vulnerability in his gaze that she herself can’t even reciprocate. 

Normally, she would just keep something like this to herself, or better yet, pretend like it didn’t even happen, but the concern in his face and worry in his eyes begins to make her feel differently. 

Eddie removes his hand from her shoulder and lets it hang by his side, leaving her feeling cold. “I know you probably think I won’t understand, but… but I can try.” 

Y/N shakes her head. “It’s not that I think you wouldn’t understand Eddie,” Y/N responds, struggling but using every ounce of willpower in her body to maintain eye contact. “In fact, if I think about it, you might be the only one who would understand. I just… I… I don’t know. It feels weird to talk about.”

Eddie exhales and bites his lip as he looks away for a second before looking at Y/N. “Well, can you at least tell me how bad it was?”

“It was kind of bad.”

Eddie frowns. “Were you… hurt, in any way?”

“No, I didn’t get hurt,” Y/N exhales and the right corner of her lip turns up slightly, feeling somewhat relieved at having gotten a fraction of the most discouraging experience she’s ever had off her chest, even if it's to Eddie Munson.

Eddie exhales and a small smile slowly creeps onto his own face. “Good. I guess this means I don’t need to go around beating anybody up for you then, right?”

Y/N looks down and giggles. Eddie beams at her, feeling victorious at having brought a smile to her face.

“No. Not that I even believe violence is the answer, but no. And no offense, but you seem like your bark is much worse than your bite.” Y/N jokes as she starts walking. Eddie follows suit and the two make their way out of the building.

“Believe me, the Hellfire boys and I can do some real damage.”

“Yeah, like I’m entrusting a bunch of nerds to do my fighting. What’s a few matching t-shirts and dice gonna do?”

“Wow, so that’s how it is, huh? And calling us a bunch of nerds as if you yourself aren’t one,” Eddie teases and pinches Y/N’s cheek. Y/N nods with a small smirk and blush tinting her cheeks.

“You wound me, Y/N,” Eddie says and it comes off far more seductively in Y/N’s ears than the sarcasm Eddie likely intended.

When Y/N and Eddie make their way over to his van, Eddie walks Y/N to the passenger side and opens the door for her. Y/N raises a leg up to step into the van, then hesitates and brings it back down. She looks inside the van then back at Eddie who has one hand on the outside door handle and the other pressed flat against the back door. 

Y/N turns around and leans against the car. She exhales and shyly says Eddie’s name. The sound is sweeter than any song Eddie’s ever heard.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks gently. Their corner of the parking lot is empty, with the after school rush having died down which is a privacy Y/N welcomes. 

Seeing Y/N so guarded and unlike herself elicits an inexplicable need in Eddie to protect her. To take care of her. She’s strong on her own, but he wants her to know that she doesn’t always have to be. That she can be weak with him.  

“What happened back there,” Y/N says and jerks her head in the direction of the school building, “was because of something the counselor said to me.”

Eddie looks at her and doesn’t see a sense of fear in her face anymore. Despite this, he still wishes he could touch her. He wants to run his fingers along her arm or hold her in an embrace to comfort her, but he doesn’t want to be too forward or any more forward than he already has been. 

“What did she say?” He tilts his head and looks at her intensely.

“Something…weird… I just don’t understand.” Y/N shakes her head, trying to withstand the intensity of his gaze.

“What is it you don’t understand?”

“Well, she was weird about my college and major choice. I mean, the reason I even went to the guidance counselor today was to review my college application essays with her but we didn’t even get to do that. I sat down and handed them to her and before she even took a look at them, she asked where I was applying to and what I was majoring in. So I told her, you know, my dream school is the University of Chicago and I’m applying to their civil engineering program. I’ve wanted to go there for as long as I can remember.”

Y/N takes a deep breath in and out. Then, in a frustrated manner she rapidly and irritatedly explains the rest of her guidance counselor visit, “And it’s like I know what I like and what I’m good at and where I want to go and how I’m going to get there. All I needed was a second opinion on my essays. But she couldn’t even give me that. As soon as I told her my plan, she said I should set my sights on something a bit more realistic. But what do I need to be realistic about? I didn’t work my ass off to be ranked number three in our class, behind Randy and Lisa, do a million extracurriculars, and try to have stellar essays to be realstic.”

“Wow, she said that to you?”

“Yeah, and that’s not even the worst part. Then she goes on to say that she thinks I should look into the local community college or a state school here in Indiana because a person like me would be lucky to even get into one of those schools, let alone the University of Chicago.”

“A person like you? What does that even mean?” Eddie asks in disgust.

“I don’t know! But she said she wouldn’t even look over my application until I decided to apply to a state school and change my major to something a little bit easier and less intimidating.” 

“What? That’s fucking bullshit,” Eddie huffs angrily and slaps his hand against the car door several inches away from where Y/N’s leaning. The noise and proximity make her jump

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Eddie says as he lightly rubs his hand up and down her arm. “Anyway, what else did she say?” 

“That was it,” Y/N says and Eddie nods. “I just feel so stupid, you know? I mean, next time I’ll just ask my English teacher to look over my essays.”

“Y/N,” Eddie asks, daring to include the phrase, “are you serious?”.

“What?”

“What the counselor said to you was complete and utter bullshit, you have to know that.”

Y/N shrugs while pressing her lips together and holding her breath. If she doesn’t think about it too much, then maybe the tears will go away. 

“She’s wrong about you. You shouldn’t listen to the indoctrination crap she probably gives every other person in this school. You’re meant for more than Hawkins. And you’ll be a badass at engineering, I guarantee it.”

Y/N’s spirit lifts at Eddie’s words, but not as much as it should have. She smiles, but it fades before she whispers in a hurt voice, “But then why would she say that?”

“Because she’s a fucking idiot! An idiot who can’t see that you’re one of the smartest students in this school, hell this town.”

“But Eddie, she’s the guidance counselor.”

“It doesn’t make her right.” He spits.

“What? Why not?” Y/N’s voice cracks as she clutches the door for balance. If she can’t trust the elders in her life, then who can she trust?

“Look Y/N, not every adult in the world is smart or right. In fact, a lot of them are the opposite. Just look at the president, he’s both.” Eddie sneers.

Y/N wrinkles her eyebrows. 

“And they don’t always have your best interest at heart either. Sometimes you have to just take what they say with a grain of salt.”

Y/N nods, eyebrows still furrowed as she makes sense of her words, “I never thought of it like that.”

“Well, you get let down enough times and you start learning the rules of this little thing called life,” Eddie smiles.

“Eddie,” Y/N responds with concern, looking at his bangs lightly blowing in the wind.

“Don’t worry about me, Y/N. Just promise that you won’t listen to what she says.”

“I can, it’s just… How could she say that to a student?”

“ Because she’s just doing her Hawkins High School job of forcing conformity onto you. But you don’t have to do that, you know.” Eddie bends down to follow her downcast line of sight till she looks him in the eye. “You don’t have to be who people want you to be.” 

Y/N scrunches her eyebrows. The realizations are too intense for her. For as long as she could remember, she did what others expected of her.

“You can’t let your guidance counselors, or your teachers, or even your parents continue to tell you who you are or who you should be, Y/N. Only you get to decide who that is.”

Y/N looks away and blinks rapidly as she begins to feel tears form in her eyes. It’s too much too fast. She can only handle so many life altering realizations delivered by none other than Eddie Munson.

She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. She looks up at Eddie. 

“Come here,” Eddie says as he rapidly wraps his arms around her and engulfs her in a hug. 

Y/N’s body is frozen in shock. She’s still processing the events of her guidance counselor’s visit and Eddie’s words, but the feeling of Eddie’s tightening arms around her and the tufts of his hair tickling the skin of her cheeks bring her back to reality.

Slowly, she slinks her arms around his middle and presses her cheek against his warm chest. She sniffles and pulls tighter. This kind of affection is foreign to her, but coming from Eddie, it’s more than welcome.

Eddie rests his chin atop her forehead and gently strokes the hair of her ponytail. She breathes him in. The scent of soap, cigarette smoke, and maybe even a bit of cologne fills her nostrils. He smells so good. Has a boy ever smelled this good before?

They hold each other like that for what feels like eternity but is only a few minutes. She almost doesn’t want to let go, but her body betrays her and she pulls away.

“Eddie,” she gently says with furrowed eyebrows.

Eddie looks at her and realizes he just made a big mistake. “I’m sorry, I thought it would help.”

“No, it’s not that. I just… can we get out of here,” Y/N gently asks. 

Eddie sighs in relief and smiles, “Let’s go.” 

When they climb in the car, Eddie looks at her and says, “If you want, you can listen to whatever radio station you like.”

Y/N meekly nods. It’s only car ride number three and he’s already defying his own rules for her. She knows how much it must mean for him to say that so she shyly thanks him and tunes in to her favorite station. 

“When we get to the diner we can get whatever you want and just forget about all the bullshit that is Hawkins High School. Sound good?” Eddie says as he starts the van and pulls out of the parking lot. “Actually,” Y/N responds, “I don’t really feel like going to the diner today.”

“Oh,” Eddie looks from the sides of his eyes, “Where do you want to go?”

“I kind of want to go somewhere quiet. I don’t really feel like being around a lot of people right now.”

Eddie looks at her again, not really sure what she’s asking for. “Did you have anywhere in mind?” 

Eddie’s already on the road, only a few minutes away from the diner, but he’d travel a hundred miles if it meant making Y/N happy.

“No, not really.”

“Uh, we could go back to my place, if that’s alright. My uncle has an early shift today so he should be gone by the time we get there.”

Y/N steps out of her emotions for a second and realizes the gravity of his invitation. She’s being invited to Eddie Munson’s home. She’ll be home alone, with a boy. Just her and Eddie. And Eddie’s room which might eventually enter the mix. Her and Eddie. Alone. In a room. His room. With his bed and-

“Does that sound okay?”

“Oh, uh, yeah that’s perfect,” Y/N’s lips answer, betraying her anxious thoughts.

“Okay,” Eddie says as he looks at his fuel gauge, noticing its dangerously close level to empty. “We might have to stop at a gas station real quick. I’m not gonna have enough to make it all the way to my trailer.”

Trailer? Y/N didn’t know Eddie lived in a trailer. It’s not a bad thing, but she’s more surprised than anything to learn this about him. Although, it makes sense if it’s just him and his uncle. She imagines how a house could get too big and too lonely that way.

“Sure thing,” Y/N nods. Somehow, the thought of stopping somewhere familiar like a gas station before delving into the unknown that is Eddie’s personal space feels slightly relieving to Y/N.

After a few minutes, Eddie pulls into the gas station and parks in front of the convenience store. 

“Eddie, I thought-”

“C’mon, let’s get some snacks,” Eddie says and gets out of the van before Y/N has a chance to say anything. 

Y/N follows suit, confused by his direction. She follows him and he opens the door for her to enter. A bell chimes and she walks through to find a landscape of chips, candies, and sodas galore. 

She slowly makes her way to the side and looks to Eddie to lead the way. He looks down at her and says a quick, “C’mon” before strolling to the candy aisle.

“What’s your favorite candy?” Eddie says as his eyes scan the rows of sweets.

“Um, I like Hershey’s chocolate, especially the kind with almonds,” Y/N says softly.

“Ok, Hershey’s chocolate with almonds for you and pop rocks for me,” Eddie reaches out and grabs one of each candy.

“Eddie, but-”

“C’mon, let’s go get some slurpees,” Eddie cheers as he makes his way over to the slurpee machine.

“Eddie,” Y/N calls after him. 

“Which one do you want, blue raspberry or cherry?”

“Um, I’m fine with just my candy,” Y/N shyly says.

“You sure,” Eddie cocks an eyebrow and Y/N nods. 

“If you say so,” he raises his hands in mock defense. 

He leans in and places a flat hand by his mouth and whispers, “But between you and me, if you want some later you can just have some of mine,” he winks.

Y/N blinks in confusion at Eddie. What has gotten into him?

“Think we’ll need anything else before we go?”

“Um, not really,” Y/N shrugs, not expecting him to go on this random massive snack scavenger hunt with her.

“Okay let’s hit the road then,” Eddie says as he skips over to checkout. Y/N and Eddie argue about him paying for her chocolate bar before ultimately just letting him do it.

They exit the store and get into the van. Eddie reparks the car at the closest available pump and gets out of the van. As he stands, waiting for the gas to pump into his van, Y/N sighs and looks out the window. 

A car with an unrecognizable boy driving and girl riding in the passenger seat, pull up to the pump in front of them. The boy says something to the girl before leaning over the console to give her a quick peck on the lips. He gets out of the car and starts pumping gas. The girl looks over and makes eye contact with Y/N. She smiles and Y/N instinctively gives her a shy smile back.

The girl turns to look in Eddie’s direction while Y/N looks in the direction of the girl's boyfriend. The two boys see each other and do a mutual head nod.

Y/N turns over her shoulder and sees Eddie leaned against the van. One arm is fully outstretched with a palm flat against the metal of the vehicle while the other is holding the pump. His brow is furrowed in concentration, eyes cast downward, but when he feels Y/N looking at him, his eyes flick upward and he smirks at her. 

Y/N’s eyes widen and cheeks redden as she rapidly swivels back in her seat. She breathes in through her nostrils, but it feels shallow.

She hears the clanking of the nozzle and shortly after, Eddie climbs back into the van.

“You ready,” he asks with a gleam in his eyes. Y/N sees the couple across from them getting ready to leave too.

“Um,” she looks over at him with a nervous smile, “Yeah.”

“Alright,” he cheerfully exclaims. He puts the gear into drive and backs out of the pumping area. Y/N resists the urge to admire how sinfully good looking he is when he drives or wonder if she and Eddie looked just as much like a couple to the boy and girl from the gas station as they did to her.

For the rest of the journey to Eddie’s trailer, Eddie makes mindless chatter, filling Y/N’s nervous silence beyond that of her favorite radio station. 

“Shh, I love this song,” Y/N interrupts Eddie and raises the volume as When Doves Cry by Prince comes on.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorite Prince songs.”

Eddie briefly looks over at her and asks incredulously, “Really?” 

“Yeah! Probably that and Purple Rain.”

“Hm,” Eddie nods contemplatively.

He hesitates a moment before adding “I know Prince is more of a pop star, but even I can admit, the man is an absolute beast on guitar,” Eddie comments in awe and Y/N giggles. 

“He is! Maybe you should learn how to play a Prince song. Expand your heavy metal horizons and what not.”

Eddie chuckles and looks over at Y/N. “Yeah, maybe I will.”

Y/N nods and notices they’re approaching the trailer park. Eddie drives past a few trailers before pulling up to his own. 

Y/N’s looks around, taking in her surroundings. The spaced out beige paneled trailers are different from the tightly packed red brick homes of her neighborhood. 

Here, many adults are outside hanging wet clothes to dry on a clothesline or sitting and having a beer with their loved ones. In her neighborhood, it’s usually children out on the streets playing or riding their bikes. It’s different, but comforting in the same way.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Eddie greets as he opens the door to the trailer and lets Y/N walk through first. She takes a step in and Eddie follows behind her, turning on the yellow fluorescent light that hums above them. 

She takes in the sight of the kitchen, dining room and living room. The space isn’t big by any means, but it's somehow roomier than she thought it would be. 

She walks further and turns around, taking in the sight of dozens of trucker hats and coffee mugs on the walls and ceiling. 

She looks to the side and notes the worn brown couch in front of the tv with a collection of VHS tapes scattered nearby. She wonders which ones are Eddie’s favorites. What are his favorite movies or tv shows?

The clanking of dishes takes her out of her thoughts and she turns to see Eddie rummaging through the kitchen cupboards.

“Since you despise slurpees for some weird reason–”

“I don’t despise slurpees. They’re fine, just not really my treat of choice.”

“Whatever you say, smarty pants.”

Y/N rolls her eyes. 

“Could I interest you in a crisp refreshing coke,” he says in a jingle voice, “or maybe a cup of stale leftover coffee my uncle probably made before he left?”

Y/N follows Eddie’s voice to the kitchen. She approaches the counter and leans her arms against it. “Um, yes to the coke, no to the coffee.”  

She watches Eddie as he sets a glass on the counter, fills it with ice, and pours a can of Coca Cola over it. “One ice cold coke on the rocks,” Eddie proclaims as he slides the glass over the counter to Y/N as he looks into her eyes and wiggles his eyebrows.

Y/N blushes and looks down, but her hair is pulled back so there’s nothing to hide her embarrassed blush. 

“Thanks,” she gratefully mumbles before turning around and taking a seat at the table. As Eddie serves his own glass, Y/N starts taking out her papers and pencil. 

“Feeling better?” Eddie asks as he sits down across from her. She nods and meekly looks up from her paper to him. “Yeah, thanks for your help Eddie,” she says sweetly. 

Eddie nods. “Sure thing, smarty pants. Wanna get to work then?” Eddie asks as he pulls out his own papers.

“Oh, um, yeah.” Y/N responds, surprised at Eddie’s eagerness to actually focus on their assignment for once. 

She looks down at the papers scattered in front of her. They only have a few more questions to work on till they're done. She can get them done in no time. 

Except this time around, she finds herself more distracted than ever. She’s constantly looking around the trailer or getting lost in some thought completely unrelated to chemistry and 9 times out of 10 related to Eddie. 

At first, she lets her eyes wander to the mug collection she saw earlier and wonders if Eddie had chosen any. Does he even drink coffee? Or tea? He seems like someone who primarily lives on Jack and Coke and the thrill of a heavy metal song. Or maybe they all belong to his uncle. What is he like?

She tries to refocus her attention to the pencil in her hand and the paper in front of her, but the pencil feels too heavy and something inside her buzzes too loudly for her to properly focus on anything. 

She looks back up and sees Eddie deep in concentration. His slender, ring clad fingers wrapped around a pencil. She wonders where he got those rings from or why he even chose to wear them in the first place. They look good on him, no doubt, but it’s rather uncommon for guys to wear rings or things like that. Well, unless you’re Freddie Mercury or David Bowie that is. 

Her gaze trails up to his wild head of hair. His voluminous frizzy waves take over his head and shoulders. She wonders what he ever looked like with short hair. She also wonders what he would look like with his hair in a ponytail or even in braids. She imagines what it would feel like to run her fingers through his hair as she braided it. 

His hair is another one of those things that not many guys could pull off, but on Eddie, it’s totally and utterly attractive.

“Y/N,” Eddie says in a playfully scolding voice still looking down at his paper, “I know I’m looking sexy as hell today, but do you think we could maybe focus on the task at hand?” Eddie looks up at her with a shit eating grin and Y/N tenses up. 

“What? I’m not–I…I am focusing on the task at hand” Y/N scoffs, flustered and red-cheeked. 

“You sure about that sweetheart?” Eddie’s eyebrows raise as his gaze travels to Y/N’s blank paper.

Y/N’s breath gets caught in her throat as she looks down. “Y-yeah I am.”

“You don’t sound too sure,” Eddie replies, cockiness dripping with every word.

Y/N turns her head up and looks Eddie square in the eye, “Well, I am. So, one, tough shit if you don’t believe me, and two, for your information, you’re not even… sexy, so...”

“Oh, Y/N, you’re so cute when you curse.”

Y/N gasps and Eddie leans forward to seductively add, “Even more when you lie.”

“Eddie,” Y/N hisses, flames kissing every inch of her skin. “Stop distracting me so we can finish this assignment.”

“You seem distracted whether or not I say anything, smarty pants.”

“That’s… not true.” Y/N rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her watered down coke before pretending to focus on the question before her. 

She can feel her heart beating loudly in her chest. Can Eddie hear it too?

“Uh huh, sure,” Eddie says sarcastically before returning to his own work. Soon enough, the heat in Y/N’s chest and shame in her features dissipate till the two are silently engrossed in finishing the remainder of their assignment.

With the adrenaline from Eddie’s shameless teasing, Y/N finds the strength to finish the assignment with ease.

“Okay, I’m finished with my part. How are you on yours?” Y/N asks.

“Hold on. I’m almost done with this last question” Eddie says without looking away from the paper as he scribbles out his answer.

Eddie puts his pencil down and looks up at Y/N, “I’m done." 

“We did it!” Y/N cheers and raises her hand up for a high five. Eddie is confused at first, then claps his hand to hers. 

“Yeah,” he forces a smile. 

This isn’t good news. It should be, but it isn’t. This means he won’t have a reason to spend time with Y/N anymore. If he's honest with himself, why else would someone like Y/N hang out with a freak like him. 

He recalls the first day they spent together and the conversation they had after they left the library. He remembers promising Y/N that they would do something fun to celebrate their finished assignment. He doubts Y/N remembers it or actually meant it when she promised it back. 

Part of him wants to bring it up, but it’s a miracle that she’s even here with him now. Maybe he can just make the most of his time left with her now, before it’s over.

Y/N checks her watch, “And it’s only 5:45!”

Eddie looks over his shoulder before turning back to Y/N. “You don’t have to be home till 7:00 right?”

“Yeah!”

“C’mere. I wanna show you something?” Eddie says and gets out of his chair. “Oh, what is it?” Y/N asks innocently.

He leads the way to his room and Y/N cautiously follows. He enters casually while Y/N lingers in the doorway. Eddie begins moving things around and searching for something within his drawers while Y/N scans the room; there’s stuff everywhere. How can someone think or breathe in a room like this? The disorganization makes Y/N yearn for the clean corners and empty edges of her own bedroom.

She takes in the mixture of band and playboy posters hung on the walls. There’s empty cigarette cartons and crushed beer cans on the dresser. It smells faintly of weed and even a bit of aquanet. There’s clothes strewn about across every square inch of the room. 

She refrains from touching anything, feeling like the inside of a museum exhibit of a teenage boys room in 1985.

The chaos makes Y/N feel on edge, but she relaxes as her gaze settles on a weird looking, larger than life, bright red guitar hung on his mirror across from the doorway.

She slowly walks forward, almost entranced by the exquisite instrument. Its edges create a unique shape and the cherry red color is so vibrant. She stands before it and only looks, but her hands are itching to-

“Touch it,” Eddie says from behind and Y/N shrieks. She looks over her shoulder at Eddie standing inches away and clutches the part of her shirt over her chest.

“Holy shit, I didn’t mean to scare you there tiger,” Eddie chuckles and Y/N rolls her eyes. 

“You didn���t… I just could hear you.” Y/N mutters and looks at the hand he effortlessly places on her shoulder.

“You can touch the guitar if you want,” Eddie says and he’s so close Y/N can feel the vibration of his voice against her body. His warm breath lightly coats her exposed ear.

“Can I?”

“Go ahead.”

“Okay,” she says softly and reaches out to touch the base of the guitar. She lightly runs her fingers across the sleek material and shivers. She slowly strums her fingers along the chords and nearly jumps at the corresponding noise. 

“Wanna hold it?” Eddie asks and lifts his arms up to take the guitar off its mount. Y/N’s eyes are drawn to the tattoos on the taut skin of his muscled bicep. 

He offers the guitar to Y/N and she takes it, placing the strap over her head and onto her shoulder.

“Do you play on this often?”

“Yeah, we play at a dive bar a couple miles out of town.”

“What?” Y/N asks as she strums across the chords. She looks up at him in confusion.

Eddie looks around for a chord and connects the guitar to the amp on his dresser, “I play with my band, Corroded Coffin.”

“You’re in a band?” She asks with widened eyes.

“Yeah, you should come see us sometime,” he says confidently.

Y/N nods, speechless at the realization that Eddie is not only in a band but performs live. Her mind zeroes in on the vision of what Eddie would like playing guitar on stage. How his hair would stick to sweat on his skin and how the stage lights would reflect on his tattooed arms or dazzling eyes. 

“Here, try this,” Eddie turns on the amp and hands Y/N a guitar pick. Y/N takes it and nervously strums the guitar. She nearly flinches from the loud vibrations. 

“See, you’re a natural,” Eddie teases. Y/N glares at him.

“We’ll take it slow,” Eddie says as he leans forward and places her hands on a specific string and fret. Y/N looks up at his hooded eyes, lids half closed as he looks down at her hands. She’s almost mesmerized by his beautiful features till the electric touch of his fingers on hers brings her attention down to the instrument between them.

“Now strum” his command brings Y/N back to earth. She strums and hears the sound vibrate off the instrument. 

“Now put your right hand on the string below it and put your left hand here,” Eddie adjusts. She strums. 

“Okay, now put this hand here, on the D and G chords, and this hand here,” Eddie gives her another chord and she strums. They repeat the process for several more chords. 

“Now put it all together,” Eddie instructs. 

Y/N slowly strums, pausing to adjust between chords. When she forgets a chord, because why did Eddie have to make her memorize so many, she looks up to Eddie and he points out the next one. 

She plays the entire piece and it sounds crooked but somewhat familiar. She tries it again and again. The more she plays the more she recognizes the song he’s just taught her. 

“Wait,” Y/N looks back down in concentration and plays the chords faster. Duh duh duhhh duh duh duh duhhhh, duh duh duhhh duh duh. 

“Eddie,” Y/N exclaims. She looks at him with bright eyes and an even brighter smile. She looks down and plays the chords more fluidly, getting into a rhythm. 

She plays the song again and moves her body to the rhythm, leaning forward and back and bobbing her head along the way.

“Eddie! I’m…” Y/N trails off as she finishes the song one last time.

“A rockstar?” He quirks an eyebrow.

“No,” she rolls her eyes then peers up at him.

“That, smarty pants, is the legendary riff to Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple.”

Y/N stops playing and tightly clutches the guitar in her fingers. She scrunches her eyebrows and grins at the impending sense of pride she feels.

“That was… awesome! I loved every second of it. Do you feel like this every time you play?” She asks in breathless excitement. Her chest drastically rising and falling.

Eddie’s taken aback by Y/N’s reaction. He didn’t think she would be this excited or awestruck. He clears his throat and says, “Something like that.”

 Y/N takes the strap off and holds out the guitar to him.

“It’s your turn,” She smugly grins at him. 

“You want me to play?” Eddie smirks and grabs the guitar. 

Y/N sits back on the edge of his bed. “Yeah, show me what you’ve got.” She says with a challenging tone.

Eddie adjusts the guitar in his expert fingers. He holds his hand out for the guitar pick and flicks his wrist before he starts strumming. 

“You mean, a little something like this,” he winks before playing the chords to Iron Man by Black Sabbath. Y/N gasps at how much it sounds like the tape he played just the other day.

“Or maybe a little something like this,” he says and expertly plays the Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple chord he just taught her. 

“Surely you know that one,” he winks at her open mouthed and wide eyed face.

“Wanna hear something new I’ve added to my set list?” Eddie asks and Y/N nods with heat emanating from every inch of her skin. Eddie breathes in then exhales. He closes his eyes and strums the intro riff to When Doves Cry by Prince. 

“Eddie!” Y/N squeals as she rises to her feet, smile beaming wide from ear to ear. “You learned my favorite Prince song? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Y/N knows she must be imagining the pink tint beginning to coat Eddie’s cheeks. 

Eddie decided from the first time Y/N rode in his van that he would learn a song for her. He figured a Prince song would be the most natural option. After borrowing the Purple Rain tape from one of his bandmates and listening to it for hours on repeat, he not only fell in love with the album but wanted to learn how to play every single song. He really liked the intro riff to When Doves Cry but he never realized the song would draw him in the same way it did for Y/N.

“I wanted to surprise you,” he says bashfully. 

Truthfully, he didn’t expect he would ever get the chance to show her, but the look in her eyes let him know that the late nights spent practicing were well worth it.

Y/N looks at him smiling breathlessly at her. This is the nicest and most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for her. 

She turns her head to the side and covers her smile with her fingers. If she doesn’t get it together, she’s sure her heart will explode out of her chest.

Keeping her fingertips on her lips, she asks, “Do you sing, at all? For Corroded Coffin?”

Eddie presses his lips together, fighting the smile threatening to form on his face and does a one shoulder shrug.

“What does that mean?” 

“Sorta, kinda.” Eddie shortly grins. With most girls, he’ll never hesitate to let them know he’s the frontman of Corroded Coffin. He doesn’t know why, but girls always seem to like him more when they learn he’s a guitar player, especially when he tells them he’s the lead singer too. 

“So do you sing backup then?”

“Not exactly,” he grins at her like a Cheshire cat.

“Eddie,” Y/N whines, “Why are you being so weird about this? Just answer the question.”

Eddie leans back on his dresser and crosses his arms over his chest. He smiles and cockily says, “Just come to one of our shows. You’ll find out then.” 

“When’s your next show?”

“Friday.”

Y/N gulps. “Friday, as in tomorrow?”

“Yup,” Eddie replies, cockily popping the p-sound.

Y/N frowns, “I can’t. My friends and I made plans to go to Star Court after school.”

“That’s fine. We usually don’t go on till 11:00 anyway. You can come after. And bring your friends too.”

“Eddie, I can’t do that. On weekends my curfew is 10:00.”

Eddie looks down in disappointment, “Oh, come on, you can just sneak out. Your parents won’t know the difference.”

“Seriously, I can’t. And I just know they would find out somehow. Nothing gets past them.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Get one of them to cover for you.”

Y/N knows that if her sister could, that she would cover for her, and that she could potentially get away with it, but that’s way too big of an if she’s not ready to gamble on. 

“Eddie, even if I could get my sister to cover for me, I just don’t think it would work.”

“Sure they will. They’ll probably be asleep the whole time and not even notice you’re gone.”

Y/N tries to imagine it. Never mind the fact that she doesn’t even have a car to get her there. But, if somehow he gave her a ride and if her sister covered her and if everything worked out… What would happen then? Probably nothing because there’s no way that could ever happen.

“Look Eddie, while I’m under my parents roof, I can’t afford to get in trouble in any capacity. I just can’t. I hope you can understand,” Y/N looks at him pleadingly.

Eddie looks into her eyes and sees a scared child. It’s a sight he recognizes instantly because he used to have it too.

“Yeah, I understand,” he replies in a sense of respectful disappointment.

“Thanks,” Y/N whispers and Eddie nods. 

An awkward silence fills the room but is interrupted when Y/N gets an idea. “I would still like to see you play though.”

Eddie looks at her in confusion.

“Maybe you could give me a preview, tonight,” Y/N bats her eyes. 

Eddie raises his eyebrows.

“You could play one song. It could be like practice.” She says innocently with big doe eyes.

Eddie is tempted to give in, but he hasn’t fully let go of the hope that she could see him play live with Corroded Coffin someday. He knows it's a lot to ask for someone like her, and yet he wants it badly enough to ask for it anyway.  

But for all he knows, this might be the last night they ever spend together. If she were to never see him play live or even see him outside of the classroom, then he wants to give her something. He wants to give Y/N anything she asks and one last beautiful memory between them both.

“Okay,” he gives in.

“Really? You sure?” Y/N worries she might have pressured him. 

“Yeah, for you I will.”

Y/N smiles hopefully at him “Okay.”

Eddie turns over and moves items around on his dresser. He pulls out a microphone and plugs the chord attached to it to the amp beside him

He juts his chin in the direction of the back corner of the room “You mind passing me the mic stand over there?”

Y/N’s eyes widen and she silently follows his request. Is he really about to do this right now?

“You sure it won’t be too loud? Don’t want to disturb the neighbors.”

“Nah, they don’t care.”

“They don’t or you don’t care?”

“Y/N, I practice like this all the time and they’ve never said anything to me before.”

“Yet.”

“Y/N, do you want me to do this or not?” He chuckles. 

Y/N nods, “I do.”

“Just sit back,” He flicks his wrist in the direction of his bed, “Relax, and enjoy the show.”

Y/N slowly backs away and takes a seat on the edge of his bed. She looks up at him, palms sweating and nerves tingling.

Eddie breathes and takes a moment to think about which song he’ll play for her. Besides the short Prince riff he just learned for her, there’s nothing he can play that she’ll like or isn’t metal. He doesn’t have a lot of options, so he goes with a safe choice and hopes she’ll appreciate it anyway.

He kisses his guitar pick before strumming the chords to Paranoid by Black Sabbath. It’s his favorite song to perform and one he knows like the back of his hand. 

He begins strumming and shaking his head in rhythm with the song.

Finished with my woman 'cause

She couldn't help me with my mind

People think I'm insane because

I am frowning all the time

His voice echoes through the sound system and fills Y/N’s ears. Y/N looks at him and notices how his full lips curl closely to the head of the microphone. 

All day long I think of things

But nothing seems to satisfy

Think I'll lose my mind

If I don't find something to pacify

He looks from his fingers on the guitar to Y/N’s face. His eyes lock with hers and he smiles before wailing:

Can you help me

Occupy my brain?

Oh yeah

His fingers dance along the strings and up the neck of the cherry red electric guitar. He thrusts his shoulders and moves his pelvis along with the instrument. He shakes his head, letting his frizzy waves fly. 

I need someone to show me

The things in life that I can't find

I can't see the things that make

True happiness, I must be blind

He's lost in focus, trying to play it perfectly for her. He’s never looked more beautiful. Y/N’s dryly swallows the saliva in her poached throat. An unnerving sensation begins to grow in the pit of her stomach and her heart races to the beat of the song. In this moment, she realizes that she finally understands what it means when people say they’re turned on. 

In just a simple pair of black jeans, a hellfire club t shirt, a leather jacket, and jean vest, Y/N feels like she’s in the presence of an absolute sex god. 

Make a joke and I will sigh

And you will laugh and I will cry

Happiness I cannot feel

And love to me is so unreal

Y/N can feel the blood dancing in her veins. She almost wants to stand up and jump or dance around to the song, but one, there’s hardly any space, and two, how do you even dance to this kind of music? It’s so much easier to dance to music on the radio or the Spanish music her parents listen to.

She settles for nodding her head to the rhythm and grinning at Eddie. She even lets out a few whoops and hollers to cheer him on which he nervously smiles at before refocusing on the song.

And so as you hear these words

Telling you now of my state

I tell you to enjoy life

I wish I could but it's too late

Eddie strums the last chord and it slowly fades out. The buzz of the sound still reverberates around the room. His chest rises and falls and the hair at the back of his neck is damp. 

Eddie wakes up from his metal induced trance and sees Y/N standing on her feet and clapping. She’s grinning widely at him and he breathlessly smiles back at her.

“Eddie! That was so awesome! You’re literally a rockstar!”

Y/N could just hug him, but there’s a whole guitar between them. And despite the fact that Eddie already took them to a “good acquaintances that can hug under specific circumstances” level, Y/N feels too shy to initiate such contact.

“Nah,” Eddie breathlessly replies with a wave of  a hand.

“No seriously,” Y/N takes a step forward and places her hand an inch away from his holding the neck of the guitar, “You have a gift.”

They lock eyes for a moment. Y/N’s shine in admiration and Eddie’s gleam in pride.

Eddie breaks the contact to move over and unplug the chords.

As he puts the guitar back in its place, Y/N turns around and walks around the room with her back facing Eddie. It’s embarrassing how big he’s making her smile. 

“So how long have you been playing guitar?” She asks as she pretends to look at the other things in his room. 

“I don’t know. As long as I can remember.” Eddie says as his eyes follow her movement. 

“Is that what you want to do when you grow up?” Y/N asks. 

“I’m nineteen. Some would say I’m pretty grown already.” 

Y/N’s tenses. She doesn’t like when he throws his age around like that. It makes her feel intimidated knowing how much older and experienced in life he is. 

“You know what I mean Eddie.”

“I don’t know Y/N. Probably yeah. I want to keep playing for as long as I can.”

“What do you think you’ll do when you graduate?” Y/N asks as she walks over and sits at the corner of his bed. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it,” Eddie replies from his place against the dresser.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he replies curtly.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, just haven’t.” 

“Really?” Y/N asks incredulously. 

“Look, maybe I’ll get a job with my uncle. Maybe I’ll go and fix up old cars. Maybe I’ll work at the record store at Star Court. Is that what you want to hear?” Eddie says in frustration as he plops down next to Y/N.

Y/N holds her breath and waits for him to calm down. She didn’t mean to make him mad, but what she doesn’t realize is just how sensitive of a subject this is for Eddie.

“Point is, I’ll figure it out when the time comes.”

“You don’t… have a plan?” She asks quietly, barely above a whisper at the boy sitting next to her.

“No, I don’t have a plan Y/N,” he says in a controlled voice as he looks down at his hands folded in his lap. “Why should I make a plan when it’s probably just gonna change?”

She turns her head to face him. “Yeah, sometimes your plans can change, but they still give you something to work for, something to hope for.”

“The last thing I need is false hope.”

“It’s not false hope, Eddie.”

“Tell me how it’s not.”

“I mean, if you could make your tomorrow better than your today, wouldn’t you at least try?”

Eddie looks down at Y/N who’s already looking up at him. He scrunches his eyebrows and bites the inside of his lower lip. 

He looks back down at his lap and Y/N’s eyes trail to the tattoos on his arms. She wishes she could reach out and touch them, but that would be weird right? She’s in his room, leg to leg and arm to arm with him, but it would be too much if she reached out and placed her fingers over that delicate skin, right?

“Even if I did, what would it matter? Tomorrow isn’t promised, why should I act like it is?”

Y/N can’t deny that some of his words ring true, but it’s still not enough to convince her otherwise. Y/N sighs, “Are you happy, Eddie? With the way things are now.”

Eddie can’t find himself saying yes. Of course he isn’t happy he failed his senior year of high school twice. Of course he isn’t happy to be a burden on his uncle. But as long as he had his guitar and his D&D, it made life bearable.

“I mean for some things yeah, but I have a lot of other things to be happy about. I have my friends and I have my Uncle Wayne and I have music. To some, it may not look like a lot, but for me, that’s all I need.”

Y/N closes her eyes and breathes in. “Eddie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Y/N twiddles her fingers in her lap. “You do have a lot to be happy about. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can be grateful for everything your family’s done for you and you can still want more for yourself. I know I am.”

“You are?”

“Sure. I’m grateful for all the sacrifices my parents have made and all the things they’ve done for me, but at the same time, I know there’s more out there and I want it, even if it’s just a taste.”

Eddie muses over Y/N’s words. “Yeah I guess so.”

“In the same way, I’m grateful for everything Hawkins has given me, even if it includes shitty school counselors and hardly anything to do for miles, but I still want more than what this little town can offer, you know?”

Eddie nods slowly. “So what do you want?”

“Huh?”

“What do you want? That your parents or Hawkins can’t give you?”

Y/N takes a deep breath. There’s so many things that she wants in life. But she feels weird letting it all come out to Eddie. These are things she thinks about constantly but never tells anyone. She's excited but tries to contain it and instead lets out a simple, all encompassing answer. “Freedom.”

“Yeah?” Eddie smiles at her.

“Yeah. I can’t really do what I want or be who I want under my parent’s roof or in a place like Hawkins.”

“I feel the same way. I mean I can be who I want in here, but out there…” Eddie trails off and shakes his head.

“Is there anything you want?”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know. Never really thought about it.”

“Really?”

“I mean… no one’s ever asked me.”

“Well, I’m asking you. And I’m sure there’s something. For starters, do you ever want to leave Hawkins?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think about getting out of this god forsaken town, but then I think about my uncle Wayne and my parents and what any of them would think and I just… I’m not ready to leave this place just yet. Maybe in a couple of years, but for now, I’m not ready to leave my family, my uncle.”

Eddie hasn’t really brought up his parents before, so she knows how big of a deal it must be for him to have brought them up. 

She places a gentle hand on his forearm and slowly rubs her thumb along the skin. Afraid to look Eddie in the eyes and make a vulnerable moment even more uncomfortable, she watches as Eddie brings his other hand over hers and guides it to interlock their fingers.

“I’m so sorry Eddie.” Y/N squeezes his hand. 

“You don’t have to be.” Eddie says in a comforting voice as he sandwiches her hand between the both of his. 

The two are silent for a moment before Eddie adds, “I think I might want to get out of this trailer though, stop being such a burden on my uncle.”

“Eddie, I’m sure that’s not true.” “Eh, it kind of is though. I mean imagine barely making ends meet and still having another mouth to feed. He’s not even a parent but for the past several years he's had a kid to worry about. I don’t want to be that anymore. I just want to be like a normal nephew and uncle. I–” Eddie chokes and squeezes Y/N’s hand. 

He clears his throat and in a strong voice says, “I want to stop being a fuckup and finally make him proud.”

Y/N gasps and tightens her grip on his hand. “Eddie–”

“Shh.” Eddie shakes his head. He breathes in deeply. “I just need to graduate. And then, I’ll get a job and I can get my own place. Maybe even upgrade the busted old van outside, but not too soon though. She’s been with me through too much.”

“Your van is a she?” Y/N laughs.

“Yes, she is. She’s my old girl.”

Y/N rolls her eyes and Eddie chuckles. “Guys are so weird about their cars.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“I’m very much not.” 

“Whatever you say, smarty pants.”

Eddie squeezes Y/N’s hand and she looks at him. “So, what about your band?”

“What about my band?” Eddie smiles and cocks his head to the side in confusion.

“Is there anything you want for your band’s future?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? There’s gotta be something,” Y/N looks up at him, “You have a gift that needs to be shared with the world.”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know. I never thought of it like that before.”

“Eddie, you could perform in front of hundreds of adoring fans every night. Don’t you want to hear girls screaming, we love you Eddie, from the mosh pit of every arena across the country?”

“Only if you’re one of them,” Eddie pinches Y/N’s cheek. She giggles and swats his hand away. 

“Sure, if you ever have a gig in Chicago, let me know and I’ll be there.” 

“So tell me smarty pants, why Chicago?”

Y/N shrugs and giddily replies, “Oh, lots of reasons. We visit a lot because we have family there and every time I go I fall more and more in love with the city. The people there are so cool and at night the skyline lights twinkle like stars. It's beautiful. Everything about the city makes me feel alive. I feel like I can be myself there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Y/N nods and smiles. “It doesn’t hurt to be too far from here either.”

“Oh so the big Chicago hot-shot is gonna come back and grace the presence of us Hawkins common folk?”

“Shut up Eddie, it’s not even like that.” Y/N leans to the side to shove Eddie.

“You’re gonna get into that school Y/N, I just know it. You’ll be the best thing to come out of this town.”

Y/N looks up into Eddie’s eyes, sparkling in the low light of the lamps in his room. “Thanks Eddie… You’re gonna make your uncle proud–you’ll make all of us proud too, I know it.”

Eddie smiles at Y/N. His lips pulled tight to create a dense dimple by the corner of his mouth. A comfortable silence falls between them.

All of a sudden, Y/N feels a tightening in her chest. She can’t breathe properly. He’s too close. Talking could distract her before, but now that there’s silence, all she can focus on is the feeling of his leg against hers. Of the warmth and weight of his hand in hers. 

He shuffles his torso slightly to face her and his arm rubs against her. She looks down at the newly created empty space between their arms.

“Y/N,” Eddie softly calls out. Y/N looks up and her breath hitches from how close his face is to hers.

“Yeah,” she replies barely above a whisper. She looks between his warm chocolate eyes. His eyes flicker from her lips and settle on her own bright eyes. 

Is this going to happen?

Y/N’s palms are sweating and her heart is pumping loudly and violently in her chest. 

A part of her is afraid and nervous and not yet ready for this to happen. But the other part of her is the opposite. 

She hadn’t realized it till this very moment. If anyone was going to be her first kiss, she would want it to be Eddie. But would he even want to kiss her? What is happening? If Eddie is going to do something, he needs to do it now and take Y/N out of her misery.

He opens his mouth and closes it. His eyes flash to the side and he gulps. “I should probably take you home now. Don’t want you to miss curfew.”

If Eddie’s not mistaken, a look of disappointment crosses Y/N’s features quickly before she covers it with a mask of neutrality.

“Oh, yeah, ok,” she nods and looks at her watch. It’s fifteen till 7:00. Of all times for Eddie to be more concerned about following the rules than Y/N, why now?

“Let’s go,” Eddie taps the back of her hand with his free one and unravels their intertwined fingers. Eddie rises and walks to the door. Y/N stays back for a second, not yet ready to leave this room, this trailer, or this surreal moment.

“Y/N,” Eddie smirks from the doorway. “You coming?”

“Yeah,” Y/N quietly nods and follows him. She silently grabs her things from the kitchen and follows Eddie out the door. She walks over to the van and hears the grass crunch beneath her feet. As she waits for Eddie to lock the trailer door and unlock the van, she looks around and sees the glare of the yellow street lights cast over the metal of the trailer.

The two climb into the van and Eddie starts the car. He puts a tape into the deck and pulls out of the trailer park. Y/N watches his slender fingers on the steering wheel as the shadows dance across them.

She feels solemn as he drives her back home. She doesn’t want to be going home and leaving Eddie just yet. She doesn’t want this to be the last time she ever rides in his van or hears his heavy metal blasting through the speakers. 

The trailer park is all the way in East Hawkins, so the drive to her house is long, but not long enough.

“That wasn’t too bad, right?”

“What wasn’t too bad?” Y/N turns to look at Eddie with a red glow cast on his skin by the stoplight.

“Having to work with the freak,” Eddie points to himself, “On a simple chemistry assignment.”

“Eddie, you shouldn’t call yourself that. You’re not a freak.”

“Yeah, well that’s the thing about nicknames, they’re given to you and they’re pretty hard to get rid of,” Eddie shrugs.

“Well I don’t care. You’re not a freak to me. Annoying? Sure. A deranged metal head? Maybe. But definitely not a freak.”

Eddie chuckles and the sight of his joy makes Y/N smile.

“Eddie,” Y/N says as he turns into her subdivision. “Today was fun.”

He looks at her. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Y/N grins at him. “Maybe we can still do something fun… to celebrate a job well done on this assignment.”

“You want to?” Eddie looks at her from his peripheral vision.

“Yeah. If you do too.” Y/N smiles at her lap. She looks up and sees the houses leading up to her own. 

“Yeah, sure. You got anything in mind?”

As Eddie passes her house, she sees her fathers car in the driveway.

“My dad’s home,” Y/N says with alarm as Eddie parks in front of her house. “I think he’s inside already, but we don’t have a lot of time.”

“What?” Eddie shifts his body to face her and her frazzled state.

Y/N unbuckles her seatbelt and grabs her backpack. “Are you free on Saturday?”

Eddie had plans with some of the boys from Hellfire club but they could wait. “I can be.”

Y/N looks from her house to Eddie. “Good. We’ll pick back up on this tomorrow, before class, okay?”

Eddie nods. Y/N looks at the dashboard and the time reads 6:58. She looks over her shoulder and sees no one standing outside her house or peeking through the blinds of the living room windows. 

She turns back around to face Eddie. She looks at him for a moment, gathering the nerve to do something she might end up regretting. Eddie notices and looks at her in confusion.

Okay, it’s now or never.

She grabs the back of his seat for leverage and leans over. She lightly places a hand on his neck for stability and presses a chaste kiss to his cheek. 

“Goodnight Eddie,” she whispers inches away from his wide eyed and slack jawed face. 

She scrambles to get out of the van before he can even say anything. She shuts the door behind her and runs across the walkway to her front door. 

She opens the door and closes it behind her. To the right, her parents are loudly talking over some story on the news playing several feet from the left of her.

“I’m home,” Y/N shouts, “Gonna go to the restroom and I’ll be back down.” 

Her parents wave her off and Y/N excitedly pounces up the steps. She throws her backpack on the floor of her room and runs off to the bathroom across the hall.

She giggles at her reflection and brings her fingers to her lips. 

She doesn’t know what came over her, but it did. She kissed Eddie Munson, on the cheek though. But it’s the most she’s ever done in her life. 

She hopes he liked it but starts to worry he might not have. She shakes the worry out of her head and smiles. Little does she know, Eddie’s been dying to make a move but was 100% certain his advances would have been rejected. 

Y/N doesn’t know what any of this means for her and Eddie, but it thrills her nonetheless.

She keeps her composure throughout dinner, but once she excuses herself to go do homework in her room, she closes the door behind her, lays on her bed, and screams into her pillow with glee.

She climbs out of bed and turns on her portable radio. Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears plays and she begins dancing around her room. Her eyes land on a hairbrush on her dresser. She grabs it and uses it as a microphone while singing to herself in the mirror. 

When the chorus comes back on, she lies back on her bed and sings:

 Something happens and I'm head over heels

I never find out until I'm head over heels

Something happens and I'm head over heels

Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart

Don't, don't, don't throw it away

“Y/N,” Y/N’s sister yells as she opens the door. Y/N scrambles to sit up and looks at her in embarrassment. 

“Turn that crap down,” she says as she walks over and lowers the volume. “It’s annoying as hell.”

Y/N sticks her tongue out at her sister as she walks out of the room and leaves the door open. 

“Can you at least close the door?” Y/N yells over at her in the hallway. 

Moments like this are what make Y/N wish she had a walkman. 

Y/N spends the rest of her evening completing homework for other classes while intermittently replaying the time she just spent with Eddie. 

By the time she lays in bed, ready to go to sleep, visions of Eddie behind his guitar or his big brown eyes and bright smile flash across her mind. Her heart can’t wait to see him again tomorrow. She doesn’t know what they’ll do next time they hang out either, but all that matters is that she’s with him.

It’s weird, feeling the way she does. And a part of her almost feels silly. How did this boy just come into her life and already made this much of an impact? 

Y/N doesn’t understand her attraction to the deranged metalhead and in a similar way, Eddie doesn’t understand his attraction to the smartypants girl next door, but the both of them are eager to find out why.

[tommytranselo]

marty lives au

because this is stuck in my head now, here’s some thoughts.

it’s not fatal, but he does still get clipped in the hotel, and joe & vito find him bleeding in the parking deck.  vito yells at him for getting out of the car, yells at joe for letting him come along then shouts at him to take him to el greco’s, and jumps in a stolen car to chase down clemente alone.  afterwards he goes back to el greco’s to check on them, but now marty and joe are both pissed at him for losing his temper in the parking lot and vito doesn’t know how to explain that he was freaked out and it came out as anger.  he’s really glad marty’s alive, though.

marty’s never the same after the hotel.  he’s still full of energy once he recovers, but he takes things more seriously and his jokes have an edge to them that they didn’t before.  it breaks joe’s heart to see it, especially given it reminds him a lot of vito.

it reminds vito of himself, too.  he and marty actually grow a lot closer after they’ve sort of cleared the air, and at one point they have kind of a heart-to-hear (maybe after marty impulsively asks why vito dislikes him so much) where vito tries to explain to him that really doesn’t have anything against him as a person and that he sees a lot of his younger self in marty which why he’s been reluctant to have him involved with the business, because he has a lot of regrets himself and doesn’t want to watch marty make the same mistakes.  it’s questionable how much of the warning really gets through, but marty is relieved that it’s not just vito looking down on him as a stupid kid like he had assumed.

joe gets a lot more strict with him, trying his hardest to discourage him from doing shit that’ll get him hurt.  marty is more cautious now too, but now more than ever he resents being treated like a child given he survived getting shot and it felt like a major turning point for him.  joe at least manages to convince him to stay the hell away from steve coyne from now on, since he knows damn well steve won’t give a shit if he gets marty killed.

marty starts hanging around tony balls a lot and kinda becomes the old man’s little sidekick.  he sends marty on errands that’ll keep him out of trouble, teaches him how to shoot better (and more safely), tells him stories and listens patiently when he talks endlessly.  marty loves him because tony actually takes him seriously, and joe’s relieved the kid has somebody else to keep him out of trouble.

eddie, too.  he can’t fucking stand marty at first but he does feel bad for being so dismissive about him almost dying earlier now that he’s actually met the kid.  he occasionally gives him errands like tony does, but usually nothing major.  ironically, marty’s probably a better influence on eddie than vice versa.

vito and henry’s conversation in the car goes a little more like “i heard a buddy of joe’s got popped clipped in the parking lot,” and after henry finally brings up the fake mustaches, there’s an awkward pause before he asks if the kid is alright.  henry wasn’t the biggest fan of him back in ‘45 but it’s good to hear he’s alive.

henry is then horrified when he actually sees marty again and nearly the first thing out of the boy’s mouth is “holy shit, i’m as tall as you now!” to which henry indignantly replies, “hey, not quite!”  he calls henry “mr. tomasino” too, until henry corrects him.  after a while he definitely develops kind of a soft spot for the kid, but at one point marty says something about how he’s cool even if he worked for clemente, and that he heard about him saving joe’s life, and that despite everything he’s still sorry henry was out of work for so long because of them, and henry just...does not know what to do with that.

vito has to tell him what happened to henry, and even worse, to joe.  sorry for that one.

[spaceprincessem]

because we’re all acting completely normal and writing 5x11 coda fics to deal with our sad Buck and Eddie feels. spoilers if you haven’t watched the episode

all my thoughts and all my faults | ao3 link  {5x11 coda)

Buck thinks you should only be allowed to fall apart in the middle of the night.

He feels safer in the dark — less exposed — because if he’s going to be stripped of everything that’s barely keeping him together then it needs to be where no one else can see. It needs to be buried beneath the sound of the rotating fan in his bedroom, the flash of headlights as they glide across the windowpane, the crimson blink of a clock that tells him he won’t be getting any sleep tonight. There’s something intimately familiar in the way he fist his sheets, a cold sweat breaking over his forehead as he sits up with a gasping breath. It’s okay to wake up screaming if it’s under the cover of darkness. It’s okay to back yourself into a corner, like a caged animal as you come to your senses, telling yourself that you’re safe, you're safe, you're safe until you almost believe it. But maybe, not quite. It’s okay because in the middle of the night you are alone and you don’t have to pretend. The mask can slip. The real you — the ugly, exhausting you — can stake its claim until it’s pushed back by the palm of your hands behind puffy and red-rimmed eyes.

Funny, considering he’s here retching into his toilet at ten in the fucking morning trying not to think about how it still taste like a margarita on the rocks lined with salt.

It’s too bright. 

He closed the door, turned off the lights, but it’s still so goddamn bright because the sun is spilling in through the cracks and he’s alone — isn’t he always really alone? — and it’s just too fucking bright. He heaves again, lets his white-knuckled grip on the porcelain tighten until it hurts. He carefully wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and sits back on his knees. He made it through that last twenty-four hour shift without completely losing it after Bobby’s big personnel announcement. He was mature. He maintained his professionalism.

(He promptly avoided Lucy at all cost until he was forced next to her into the fire truck for their first call of the day where she pressed too much into his space and all his bravado and insistence that Evan Buckley does not squirm went right out the window.)

Trying to be a better Buck

Isn’t he always? 

Buck falls back against the wall, lets his head drop into his hands, and thinks about what new version of himself needs to walk out that door.

Buck 1.0 was reckless. Wild. Easy going and carefree. He stole fire engines and had sex on rooftops with girls who were only interested in a pretty face. He was the bad boy of the 118. The one that disobeyed orders and loved to play the hero just to capture that fifteen minutes of fame feeling that almost felt warm in his chest. Buck 1.0 liked to run and run and run and run.

Buck 2.0 was softer. He found a place to settle his roots and thought love was something he could give without ever really getting anything back. He liked to fix people because that was easier than fixing himself. Buck 2.0 thought waiting was the answer. So he waited and waited and waited and waited.

Buck 3.0 was wiser. He faced his truths (some of his truths, anyway) and forgave his parents even when they really, really didn’t deserve it. He was coming to terms that it wasn’t his fault that he was either too much or never enough. Buck 3.0 was going places, the best version yet. He had a family, a sense of belonging, and almost everything he could ever want. 

Almost everything.

And now. 

Trying to be a better Buck

And, yeah, maybe he could become Buck 4.0 or Buck 10.0, or however many versions it takes to be what he’s supposed to be and what everyone wants him to be. But Buck knows. He fucking knows. He knows that whatever the fuck Buck is left doesn't matter because the real Evan Buckley — the ugly, exhausting Evan Buckley — is still standing on that street with his best friend’s blood in his mouth. 

He quickly tips forward and throws up again. Or maybe he sobs, he’s not really sure anymore. He lays his head on the seat, the plastic warm against his already blistering skin. Maybe, if he screws his eyes shut tight, he can push the roaring of blood against his ears hard enough that it will drown out the harmonic sound of bluebirds chirping, the unmistakable honk of cars from the Los Angeles commute, the faint tinkle of laughter, and the soft melodies from porch radios that remind him that it’s ten in the fucking morning. The bathroom lights up for a moment, his phone glaring brightly from its forgotten place on the sink. He reaches for it, fumbles with how heavy it suddenly feels in his sweaty palms, and looks down at the little Twitter notification warning him to avoid Fifth and Main due to an exploding fire hydrant. 

Logically, he knows Eddie didn’t write this. He has Thursdays off, same as Buck. It was meant to be a transitional thing. A way for them to hang out to ease the ache of Eddie leaving the 118. It was easy, at first, because they were Buck and Eddie. And Buck and Eddie always fall back into each other, always find their way home. Temporarily started to give away to permanently and the shadows beneath Eddie’s eyes lingered longer — became darker. Thursdays suddenly became too busy and the only time Buck ever really saw Eddie was around other people. Never alone. Never just the two of them. No more opportunities to really ask if Eddie was doing okay. 

You need to move on.

I have.

Buck hears the groaning of plastic beneath his fingers, the way his phone case bends uncomfortably beneath his grip, but the pain is almost cathartic, if only because pain is something he is so, so familiar with. He knows he shouldn’t look. Nothing has changed since their last conversation, but Buck is nothing short of a masochist these days. He unlocks the phone and it only takes three clicks to find what he’s been staring at since he got home from the bar three nights ago.

Buck: you’re coming, right 🥺

Eddie: I wouldn’t miss it 

Except, Eddie never really made it. Or, according to Ravi, never made it past the parking lot. Buck swallows the sudden, bitter bite of anger clawing its way up his throat. But it’s not enough. Not when it’s itching beneath his skin, wrapping like a hot coil around his lungs, compressing them until he can hardly breathe. Eddie was supposed to be there. Eddie was supposed to be the one he was recounting the tale with. Eddie was supposed to be the one smiling over his beer, making exaggerated hand gestures, and rolling his eyes at Bobby’s weird state grain knowledge. Eddie was supposed to be the one he was bumping his shoulders with, teasing grins with soft, knowing gazes that lingered too long. Eddie was supposed to be the one he—

Buck is on his feet before Buck 2.0 or 3.0 or whoever the fuck knew better than to give into his anger and dangerous impulses could stop him. 

The sun is still too bright, but he’s flying blind anyway, stumbling through his goddamn life without knowing which way is up. 

His fist is pounding on Eddie’s door twenty minutes later. 

Maybe, this time, blood stained Evan Buckley will finally leave his purgatory. Maybe he’ll finally catch up with all the fake smiles, the I’m fines, the versions he’s carefully crafted to make sure he’s enough for someone to stay. Maybe if Eddie sees the monster created from years and years of running — of surviving — of circling so far down the goddamn drain covered in speckles of crimson straight from Eddie’s own bleeding heart then he’ll finally be free. 

When Eddie opens the door he only has a second, one gut wrenching second to be that Evan Buckley, before he pulls together the Buck he needs to be to take that haunted look out of Eddie's eyes.

“Buck?”

Buck’s lips part, there are so many things he wants to say. So many words jumbled and broken that have been sitting against his chest, crushing it like a fire truck to his leg. They don’t move. They don’t move and Buck could almost laugh, maybe he does, but it comes out wounded and pained because this feels a little bit like déjà vu.

“Buck,” Eddie tries again and he hasn’t moved, but he looks so, so much worse than the last time Buck saw him and that fucking hurts, “what are yo—”

“Sometimes I can still taste your blood in my mouth.”

It’s not what he means to say. Not by a long shot. Eddie stiffens, his eyes wide and terrified, but now that it’s out there he can’t stop. Buck can’t stop — has never known how to stop.

“I — I can feel the grit of it against my teeth,” he continues, voice rough and raw and probably the most honest he’s been over the last year, “in my hair, it’s stuck behind my eyelids, and just—” he breaks off, staggers forward because Eddie hasn’t moved and he can not fucking do this anymore, “it’s just in my goddamn mouth.”

“Buck,” And god Eddie sounds, Eddie sounds so broken.

“I kiss Taylor,” Buck goes on because he’s too much he’s too exhausting he can’t stop, “and I taste blood. The other night at the bar,” he runs a hand through his hair, tugs at his curls just to keep himself grounded, “Lucy kissed me. She kissed me and I — I didn’t stop her. Taylor was asleep in my bed in my loft and Lucy kissed me and I didn’t fucking stop her because all I can taste is blood. I am stuck with this perpetual ache of nothing and it is killing me.”

He doesn’t realize he’s shouting or that his chest is heaving or that there are tears streaming down his face. All he can do is look at Eddie and wish he were Buck 2.0 or 3.0 or 10.0 or all the better versions he so desperately tries to be, but always seems to fall short. 

“I think it’s killing me too,” Eddie admits, quietly, just barely enough for Buck to hear. 

Eddie reaches in the space between them. He reaches over the pool of blood against the blacktop, over the miles and miles that have pushed them farther apart, he reaches for Buck and this time. This time Buck — real, ugly, exhausting, blood stained Evan Buckley — reaches back. 

[vitaegratis]

scarednotscary​:

☾⋆ ‒‒‒‒‒  Had she been expecting him to wave a magic wand and make everything better for her? No, not at all. Chrissy knew what she needed to do in order to ‘get better’ but her options were limited and equally terrifying. It had started as a means to keep her weight down, a little bit of a cheat when she ran out of time to work out or ate too much and felt guilty about the extra calories. She’d read that super models did it so that they could be runway ready and figured if she only did it when absolutely necessary, then it would be okay. That was the first step down this increasingly slippery slope she had set herself upon.

Hearing Eddie talk like that, his voice soft and words comforting, it made her feel all the worse about it. She didn’t deserve his kindness or support, not when she was such a mess, when she was doing these things to herself. But the mention of needing help set her into a state of panic. “I-I can’t… I can’t do that. Then everyone will know… it’ll get out and things will get worse. They’ll take me away, put me in the hospital… Eddie, I…” Chrissy gave way to her tears, her fingers curling tightly into his jacket to the point the leather squeaked in protest; she was terrified.

          “You can… you could. Should. I can’t make you, though. Won’t try to. I’d try to make sure all that doesn’t happen, but… we don’t have to talk about it right now. Don’t think about it.” He holds her tighter on reflex, hoping it’ll be of some comfort. Some reassurance - that not going anywhere, and no one is going to take her away. Eddie’s not a fan of hospitals himself, but… she wouldn’t have to stay, would she? Unless it got worse? He had no clue… he supposed it depended on how bad it was. The toll it took on her. It wasn’t an isolated incident, was it? It all had to add up…

“Do you think you can stand? …I can carry you. We should get you someplace… comfier.” He had no idea how Chrissy was feeling, physically. He was almost afraid to ask. If she felt woozy or faint… god, what if she hadn’t been able to get up? If he hadn’t found her? Or if she passed out, hit her head? He’s twirling her hair now, to soothe himself as much as he is her. It scared him. It really scared him. She didn’t, and he didn’t want her to feel guilty - ashamed, but… all the what ifs. Knowing that she was hurting, not knowing that she’d be okay. That it wasn’t something he could control. That Chrissy couldn’t herself. “…I know you can’t help it. You also can’t help feeling ashamed, or embarrassed… disgusting. You’re not, though. You’re not. You don’t deserve this. To feel like that. To struggle with this… it’s not your fault. You might think you do deserve it, that it is your fault… that you’ve done it to yourself - so… that’s bullshit. You’re wrong, Chrissy. You’re wrong… and you’re going to realize that. You probably think you don’t deserve my being here, do you? Any love and support? …well. Fuckin deal with it. You can refuse my support, if you really want to… but - not to sound like a creepy asshole - you can’t stop me from loving you.”

[robust-cicada]

Fade Out Again (Thom Yorke X Reader)

For @shehangsbrightly

prompt: honestly i would be allll over the bends era thom, and i think something angsty is what i’m feeling rn. do your magic 😌

Gender Neutral and SFW

CW: angst, burnout, arguments, swearing, guilt, break up, bad mental health.

“I really don’t know what you want from me! I thought you’d be happy to see me after, I don’t know? Nearly a year? But no, I’m the bad guy as always!”

“You think that you’re the only one this tour has taken a toll on? I haven’t been in the comfort of my own home in a year. I haven’t seen my friends or family in a YEAR! You can’t always expect to be my top priority!”

“Obviously. You know, every tour you do the more of a self-centered asshole you become. Just because your band is ‘making it big’ doesn’t mean you have to treat the people in your life like shit, Thom! It isn’t just me. Ed literally has told me numerous stories from when you got too drunk to even perform! You promised.”

“Oh enough of that promise bullshit Y/N! I’m sick of it!”

“Well, that shows how much you fucking cared about it, huh? Shows what a promise means to you? You’re pathetic. The amount of love and support I have poured into you since fucking college and one hit song throws every promise and hope for our future away.”

“Oh fuck off.”

I let out a dry laugh and walked to our bedroom. I grabbed a suitcase and packed as much as I could shove into it.

“What are you doing now?”

“Fucking off. I’m done, Thom. Absolutely done.”

“Yeah sure. You won’t last more than two days Y/N, and you know it. We’ve been through this before.”

I stormed towards him, his back colliding with the wall. I looked into his eyes, trying to look for any sign of remorse in his cold, blue orbs.

“Not this time Thom. I’m tired of crawling back to you with hopes that things will be how they used to again. I am tired of endlessly longing for you to return the love I give to you. You’ve changed and if this is you now? I want no part of it.”

He scoffed and looked away from me.

“Anything to say? Or are you too good for that, Mr. Big Rockstar?”

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

I scoffed and grabbed my stuff. I stormed out onto the snowy streets. It was freezing but I didn’t dare look back. It felt like I had been walking for hours before I found a phone booth. I put the change in the slot and dialed the only number I could remember through my rage.

“Hey, Eddie? It’s Y/N..”

“What happened this time?”

“Well, what usually happens when he gets home I suppose. Are you busy?”

“Need somewhere to stay?”

“Ye-ah.” My voice cracked as tears swelled my eyes.

“Where are you, I’ll be there as soon as I can?”

---

It had been nearly two months since we broke up and not a word was spoken between us. Ed had generously let me rent out the spare room in his house until I got my shit together, which did not seem to be happening. All I could seem to do was cry, work, and sleep. Eddie was wonderful and tried to help when he could, but he tended to keep his distance. At some point, I knew Thom would end up stumbling into the house, however, I did not expect to hear his voice breaking downstairs as he talked to Ed.

Thom’s POV

“Ed, it’s driving me mad! Do you know where they are, have you heard from them, anything?”

“If they wanted you to know where they were, they would’ve contacted you. I can’t really help you, man.”

“I just. I can’t do this anymore. I need them, so badly. You don’t fucking understand.” I crumbled to the ground in tears. “It’s my fault. Every time they leave it’s my fault and- and I just expect them to come back. What happened to me, Eddie? What... happened?”

“Thom. You’re the only person who’s gonna be able to fix this and you know it. I’m not helping you anymore. We’ve been through this too many times. I’m not a fucking couples counselor!” He grabbed his hair in frustration.

“You… You too? You’re supposed to be my best friend, and you’re giving up on me too?”

“You know what, Thom? That’s your problem. You can’t take any fucking responsibility for anything, can you? It’s always somebody else’s fault with you!”

I couldn’t even form a response. My thoughts spiraled rapidly as I tried to figure out where everything went to shit.

“I-I’m so-rry. I don’t know what to do, a-and I don’t mean to throw it all on you, Eddie, you… You’re just always so good with this stuff and you know them so well and- and- and..”

“Thom,” He held his head in his hand, “take a breath. There’s no need for all the blubbering.”

“But-”

“Just shut up for a minute okay? I’ll be right back.”

He marched up the stairs and disappeared. A few minutes later he came back down. Followed by Y/N.

Y/N’s POV

His face was tear-stained and puffy. He was in a pile on the floor looking as hopeless as an abandoned puppy.

“Y/N..”

I felt my jaw clench as I looked at him. I wanted to slap him and yell at him for everything he put me through, but my body betrayed me. Instead, I found myself kneeling in front of him, arm reaching out to cup his face in my hand. Tears streamed down his cheeks once again as he rested in my palm. He turned to kiss my fingertips.

“I’m sorry Y/N… I took you for granted. I thought you would always come back, and this time you didn’t, and my ego left with you. I need you, I need you so badly love. I can’t do this without you. Please I will do anything to have you back… Please.” He was barely speaking and as he whispered he looked me in the eyes for the first time in years.

“I... I can’t, Thom.”

His posture snapped to attention and I watched his heart shatter again.

“Why not..?”

“You hurt me.”

Tears of my own now mimicked his.

“Please.”

“Thom, stop.”

“I can’t. I can’t because I love you, and if you ever loved me then you would come back.”

“Don’t you fucking dare with that bullshit Thomas.”

I stood and walked away, but he followed.

“Love doesn’t go away Y/N, you told me that yourself. If you loved me you wouldn’t walk away like this. You’re really willing to throw everything away like that?”

“Stop. Thom, I- I can’t do this, just go.”

“I’m not leaving without you.”

“And I’m not leaving with you.”

He approached me and gently grabbed my hands, giving me the same damn look he did every time he wanted to get his way.

“No, Thom. Stop. Please.”

“One more chance, that’s all I ask. If I fuck it up again I promise you will never hear from me again. I’ll take you on the next tour, I’ll let you get a puppy like you’ve always wanted. Literally, anything you want is yours. You don’t ever have to work again. Just, please?”

“You still don’t get it. I don’t want material things or money. I don’t, well I do want a puppy,” We chuckled, “But that’s not why I left. All I want is your love, some of your time and attention. I want to feel safe with you. I want to feel at home. I don’t feel like that with you anymore. The only feelings that run through me when I look at you are sadness and insecurity. You make me feel like a child being scolded by their mother. I just can’t live like that again.”

“I promise that I will fix what needs to be fixed and will do anything I can to make you feel safe again, just trust me.”

“We both know promises aren’t your thing.”

“I’ll keep this one.”

“I can’t believe that, Thom.”

“I’ll let Ed take over the band if I break this promise and I will never perform with Radiohead again.”

“Oh, shove off you lunatic! I’m not worth that. Your fans would have my head.”

“I’m serious.”

“You make everything so hard on me.”

“Jesus, Y/N would you please just say yes? All you have done the past two months aside from work is cry and sleep. I can barely get you to eat. Just get it over with. If he fucks you over again I will personally skin him alive, just, get it over with you two!”

Thom looked at me hopefully. I sighed.

“Fine.”

“THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!”

He planted kisses all over my face and pulled me into a tight hug.

“Jesus, Thom, you smell! When was your last shower?”

“I... I have no clue,” He scratched his neck and looked at the ground.

“I mean, you are rank! You smell like a secondary boys locker room after P.E.”

“Okay, in my defense, I didn’t think you were going to be here.”

“Yeah, so it’s okay that I suffer in your stench then?”

“Well, we’ve shared a tour bus, I figure that you’re used to it by now.”

“Well, by that logic, if Y/N is coming on tour with us, they better get used to it too, because you’ve smelled worse after a show.”

“Lovely.”

He laughed and engulfed me in a hug again. I gave in and dug my face into his neck, letting him rock us side to side.

“Let’s get you home then, yeah?”

“If anyone needs to get home it’s you so you can shower!”

“We can shower together if you’d like.”

“Okay, yeah, if you could leave the dirty talk for the car ride home it would be appreciated.”

We laughed once again.

“I’ll go pack,” I placed a soft kiss on his cheek before walking up the stairs.

“I love you, Y/N!”

“I love you too Thom.”

[natromanxoff]

11 - Van Halen...

Hi there one and all.

Can I first start by saying farewell to Cozy. I've known him for about fifteen years and would not say he was a close friend or anything, but whenever we caught up with each other there was always time for a beer and chat. He was an A1 guy and will be greatly missed as a person and as a brilliant drummer. When John Bonham died he left the crown for the best rock drummer to Cozy, and I can't think of anyone worthy enough to take over. When Bonzo died we were doing a show at Madison Square Gardens, and as they were going into Champions Fred said, "This one's for John Bonham." The place erupted. If that's Bonzo's song, then I think Cozy should inherit We Will Rock You, because he was THE best rock drummer.

My social life has been quite hectic again. Caught up with Status Quo when they played here recently, they're always good fun to chat with, and they still put on a decent show. Next Sunday I'm gonna see Matchbox 20. Have a listen to their album, it's really good. Last night was the all new Van Halen, and thanks to my mate Nick I had one of those wonderful VIP passes hanging round my neck. I, along with the rest of the world was curious to know what Gary Cherone was going to be like. Brilliant. This has to be the best VH line up yet. The show was being filmed by MTV, so if you see it and the camera pans around to the sound desk, just look for the best looking guy in the building and that'll be me, standing next to him.

Anyway, back to VH. They are still a great rock band, a great live act and great musicians, and I still hate drum solo's. But back to Mr Cherone. We all know what he did at the Tribute, and we all know he's a huge Queen fan, and he's the closest singer to Freddie I've ever seen. His outfit, black satin shirt and flared black satin pants. I seem to remember FM wearing that around 75/76. His mic stand is the FM 'wand', except it's a lot longer. His movements are very theatrical, and dare I say camp at times, with lots of twists and turns, very Freddie. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not knocking him at all, he is an amazing showman and doesn't stop all night, even jumping into the crowd and running up the steps to the top of the arena, and then tumbling down like a stuntman. It's good rock 'n roll, so try and check them out, I don't think you'll regret it. (I've become concert reviewer all of a sudden) At times he even sounds like another singer, but I won't keep on, I'll leave it to somebody else. On the rock station, Triple M, one of the jocks this afternoon said, "He's been watching to many videos of our dear departed friend Freddie Mercury. His movements were exactly like his."

The first time I ever saw Van Halen was at a place called the Circus Krona(!) in good old Munich. I went along to see them with the curly one, and when we got there I had to instantly phone the studio and try and get Rog to come along because it was the biggest PA system I had ever seen in a place that size. When they started the intro tape it was so loud I thought my chest was gonna cave in, the bass just pinned you to your seat. Needless to say Brian was like a pig in shit. Before I tell you my little Queen story, I have to tell you about what I consider to be the best onstage patter I think I've ever heard. David Lee Roth was talking to the crowd between numbers and somebody in the crowd chucked a paper cup or something at him, he stopped talking, looked round in the general direction and said, "Hey man, you can throw what you like at me. Because tonight I'm going to f**k your chick." 20,000 people loved it, and so did I cause I still remember him saying it.

OK. We were touring the States, probably around 81/82, and we were flying to Portland. The band entourage were traveling on a wonderful private plane, and as the crew would have been in the bus for about 24 hrs we took as many as we could with us. The date was Sept.1, I remember because thats my birthday, and when we boarded the plane there was a huge cake with 'Happy Birthday Crystal' on it, and even more booze than we normally had. (Somebody must have expected something) One of the nice things about private planes is that you can make detours and the pilot flew around Mt St Helens a few times so we could see right into the crater, and it was still steaming, an amazing sight. Back to my birthday and a few of us needed some privacy, so Jim 'Mary' Devenney, Jimmy ' Idiot Boy' Barnett, Peter 'Feebie' Freestone, Roger '*******' Taylor and myself stocked up with a couple of drinks and retired to the Master Bedroom for a discussion on world politics. When the plane landed we were still a few thousand feet up in the air, legless is the best way to describe us. Hey, it was my birthday after all. We fell into the limo's and headed to the hotel, and the crew went on to theirs.

On arrival I found out that Van Halen were staying there, and they were playing that night, so I secured a few million passes and went looking for somebody to go partying with. After all it was 4pm and if I went to sleep I'd wake up feeling awful so I had to continue. RT said he was gonna crash, but Feebie and Terry were ready to go, so we said we would go to the first bar we came to. As it turned out it was a topless joint, and needless to say I was shocked and stunned, but a deals a deal. We were drinking shots of peppermint schnapps with vodka and orange chasers, very intelligent. At about 8pm we all shot off to watch VH, and they were great. After the show both bands arrange to meet in the bar at the hotel, but the bar is one of those stupid ones in the middle of the lobby. So there we are, the four Queenies, Feebie, Wally, Tunbrige, Terry and me, and the four Van Halens, all sitting around having a slurp, and VH's minders running around like headless chickens in the CIA. Outside the main doors were hundreds of fans, with a VH gorilla keeping them out, even to the point of stopping Ratty coming in. I had to argue with this moron to let one of our crew in, and he said, "If he goes anywhere near David or Eddie I'll throw him out." I could only answer with that wonderful two worded phrase starting and ending in F. Because it was like being in a fish bowl we decided to leave the bar, and everyone wandered off to various rooms to continue, the biggest bash being in Rogers suite.

At some unknown hour whilst I'm having a very pleasant conversation with a charming lady who called herself 'Naughty Nancy,' Jobby says to me, "I've been looking for you, Tunbridge wants you to call him now, it's urgent, Brians had an accident." Jobby was very drunk and I didn't know if he was serious or joking, so I phoned Tunbridges room and there was no reply. What do I do now? If Brians asleep and I wake him I'm in trouble, and if he has hurt himself and I don't call I'm still in trouble. What do I care? I'm drunk and fearless, so I phone and Tunbridge asks me to get there asap.

When I go in, Brians lying on the bed on his side, with the waste paper bin close at hand, and Tunbrige is grinning and mopping his brow with a damp cloth. Brian was mumbling stuff like "Don't let me die." (I'm sure most of us have been there at sometime or another) I probably shouldn't say this, but I had to grin, I thought it highly amusing. I got an explanation and told Tunbridge not to let him sleep on his back, and call me if there were anymore problems. I then returned to NN.

It turned out that when we all left the bar, Brian had gone to Eddie's room where they consumed huge quantities of Jack Daniels, and Brian not being a bourbon drinker, went to the toilet to worship the porcelain god, and threw up with such gusto he hit his head on the cistern, split his head open and nearly knocked himself out. The following night we played the same place VH did, and Mr May with band aid on head, played a blinder. A couple of years later, in the Rainbow in LA, I met Alex Van Halens estranged wife, and that, as they say, is another story all together.

Crystal