#eddies entire arc this season has been leading up to him learning how to move on and open himself up to dating

[poughkeepsies]

The latest article mentions Eddie’s fateful run in with Marisol in the previous ep and that it’ll be covered in the finale. So looks like he is in fact going to end the season dating her 😪

wbk?????

[ktinastrikesback]

Alright, here it is: The meta post about Eddie Diaz and mother figures and how it all leads to Buddie (I think). Thanks to @yramesoruniverse for your help with this, and @kitkatpancakestack and @evanbucklies for inspiring it! I really have been thinking about this nonstop and had to get it all down. This got quite long, so I'll include a cut in order to spare everyone who doesn't want to continue reading!

We first get an idea of Eddie's complicated thoughts surrounding mother figures throughout his whole storyline with Shannon in season 2 when he romantically reconnects with her for Christopher's benefit. I do want to keep the focus here trained on Eddie in season 4, but I want to point out a season 2 line that is pretty fitting. As much as I don't want to use a Shannon quote as a starting point for a meta, I think this one is actually pretty useful: "...Eddie always knows what's best for everyone...God forbid you stop for a second and actually ask them what they need." While it's harsh and spoken out of spite, Shannon does make a point here which becomes relevant at the end of season 4.

We don't know a whole lot about season 4 Eddie (thanks writers) aside from the fact that he's working on being a single father (he tells Marjan in the crossover that he's "doing the whole single dad thing") and being a support system for Buck and the rest of the 118. Eddie's "arc" this season is moving on from Shannon and beginning to date again (a very small and limited arc, which hopefully season 5 will remedy). Of course, because it's Eddie, the core of this arc is him wanting what is best for Christopher. And it seems pretty clear that what Eddie thinks Chris needs is a complete family with a mother figure (note how he asks Bobby if he's "happy now, with Athena and the kids" and just assumes that Bobby is talking about Ana Flores), but the universe pushes against this idea throughout the whole season. There are a lot of examples in season 4 of unreliable mother figures (for example, the alcoholic mother who causes the wreck in Blindsided), but in order to save some space here, I'll list and discuss those in another post. The main thing I want to point out is that we've seen that mother figures aren't always perfect, and they aren't the end all be all that Eddie thinks. And canonically, the show suggests several times throughout the season that the partner that Eddie needs/wants and who is best for Chris is actually Buck.

In Breaking Point, while Eddie is on his date, it's Buck who is at home taking care of Christopher and getting him through his nighttime routine (which establishes that he knows the routine and has gotten Chris ready for bed before, hence the reference to his "cautionary tale"). On the date, when Ana says that no one has been in his life since Shannon passed away, Eddie noticeably looks uncomfortable (the will reveal makes this scene and that particular comment and Eddie's subsequent reaction so rich. Eddie knows that what Ana is saying is completely untrue, because the person he trusts most with his son is with him at that exact moment). Later, when Eddie tells Christopher about his new 'friend', he says "it's a woman." And...to be honest, what the hell was that? He could have said, "I'm dating someone" or "I have a girlfriend." But he says it like this? And it's weird...right? Christopher is the one who has to say "girlfriend." Also his tone of voice when he says it...it's suspicious to me. Anyways...Eddie talks with Ana about Christopher's reaction and her first instinct is to take a break and wait for Christopher to warm up to the idea so as to not cause him more pain. Meanwhile, Chris is out the door, in an Uber, and on his way to Buck, the person who actually gets Chris to talk about his feelings and who fixes the whole mess. So while Eddie is talking with Ana, Buck is playing a parental role AND promising Chris he isn't going anywhere, completely juxtaposing everything Ana has said and done in this episode (throwback to Fools, anyone?). Just like we see in 4x14, the perfect partner that Eddie is looking for is already putting in the work, no questions asked (and this is all before Buck knows about the will!). Yet Eddie is still trying to force it with Ana.

We see this again very briefly in Parenthood. Eddie and Buck are seen agreeing on parenting ideals on a call, similar to how we saw them work together in Future Tense to talk Chris out of playing video games. At the end of the episode however, when Chris asks to join the movie, Ana just jumps ahead and lets him in, not consulting with Eddie. Of course, this isn't a serious issue and Eddie is happy to have Chris join them, but it still carries on with juxtaposing Ana with Buck. It's also a bit interesting that Chris sits between them, parallel to the video game scene from season 3. But again, it's a very brief scene, so I don't know how much value it has overall.

We see all of this come to a head in 4x13 when Eddie becomes invested in the single mother and her son from the balcony call. Interestingly, this call happens after Eddie's conversation with Carla ("make sure you're following your heart"). On the call, Eddie flirts with the mom. This is interesting because we've seen many times in the past that Eddie...doesn't like flirting, especially on the job. Eddie openly flirting with the mom here may be his way of fighting against what his instincts are telling him Carla's comment was about (him liking Buck/a man). Eddie quickly becomes invested in Charlie (the son) and takes a liking to his mother because he relates to her. You can kind of see the gears working in Eddie's head when he's at their apartment...he's admiring her and perhaps maybe fantasizing about having a partner who gets it. And he sees a mother taking care of her son...reinforcing his love for the mother figure. But of course, we all learn by the end of the episode that this mother figure is extremely warped and not at all what her child needs.

The best part about this plot is the way it plays into the shooting scene at the end of the episode. Just before he gets shot, we see Eddie in an interesting framing choice (I am genuinely serious when I say that I want to sit down with Brenna Malloy and ask her about her directing choices for this whole scene):

The mother and son are placed into separate ambulances, and Eddie stands between the two vehicles. Visually, Eddie is literally placed between the mother figure and the son, and Buck is standing in front of him (at a slight distance). As (thank you to @kitkatpancakestack for pointing this out!) the ambulance with the mother drives away, Eddie says "shoulda gotten here sooner" to Buck (who replies, "That kid is just lucky he met you." He knows how to reassure Eddie and recognizes what is good for the child). Then of course, Eddie gets shot. But let's focus instead on why this framing before the shooting is important: the universe does scream, and it sure as hell was screaming at Eddie this whole episode. Carla calls him out for not following his heart, he idolizes this mother only for her to end up being horrid, then he gets shot with his partner standing right in front of him (you know, the same person who takes care of his son for the entirety of the next episode).

This can be read so plainly: Eddie has been fighting hard for what he thinks is best for his son, and he's stuck in this relationship with Ana because he thinks she is what will make Christopher happy. Meanwhile, Buck is in front of him and has been there the entire time putting in the work with Chris and making him feel heard, loved, and important. This ties right back to that Shannon line: if Eddie had simply asked Christopher what he needs/wants, it's very possible that his answer would be "Buck." Eddie doesn't need to be stuck in the middle of this relationship he doesn't care about because Chris' happiness is not dependent on having a mother figure.

Of course, we didn't see very much of Eddie in 4x14 so we don't really know what is going through his head regarding the shooting or Carla's comment just yet, but I'm hoping we see a lot of him working through all of the events that took place in 4x13/14 throughout next season. Because of the way the mother/son storyline ended up and the way they framed Eddie in the shooting scene, I'm willing to bet that he's going to be reevaluating just what Christopher needs and what he already has (with his Buck).

(Also side note--the welcome home party scene...when Buck is watching Eddie greet Christopher, notice the framing there too. The photo of Chris and Shannon is on the right side of the frame, Eddie and Chris in the middle, and Buck to the left. You already know what I'm going to say, so I'll leave it at that...)

Anyways. Edmundo Diaz is confused about what he and Christopher need, and it's actually a brilliant way to dive into a storyline about his sexuality and his feelings for Buck. Remember that post-finale interview with Tim where he said Eddie is always concerned with what's best for Christopher? That there will be a lot to explore with Eddie? I take everything Tim says with a grain of salt, but looking at all of this, there's quite a bit here pointing in the direction of pining Eddie. It's not wishful thinking, it's in the text.

I'm literally just applying basic film analysis to these scenes...and everything is adding up to a larger picture. I'm really excited to see what Eddie's arc in season 5 will be because there's so much set in place for it to be really great.

[themattress]

OUAT AND ME: SEASON 6

Story - Season 6 returns to the single-season story arc structure, with its story being the Savior's Fate Saga. The story deals with Emma reaching the point that all Saviors eventually reach: burnout in the lead-up to their Final Battle. And Emma's Final Battle comes courtesy of the Black Fairy, the creator of the Dark Curse who wishes to extinguish all light magic.

And yes, that is the core story of this arc. The problem is that it only constitutes about 25% of it; the rest is dedicated to subplots upon subplots: all the people who were brought in from the Land of Untold Stories, the strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the Evil Queen split from Regina, Regina and Zelena's sibling rivalry reigniting, Belle and Rumple's relationship growing more toxic then ever before, Aladdin the Savior of Agrabah and the Princess Jasmine who is looking for him, a new curse befalling Snow and Charming, the mystery behind how Charming's father died, a new realm being created by a genie's power which brings about the "return" of Robin Hood, a multi-realm quest undertaken by Hook, and flashbacks that have jack shit to do with anything....this season is so packed, it's insane!

If the core story was particularly strong, maybe this wouldn't matter so much. But it's not, since it relies upon yet another bullshit redefining of what it means to be "the Savior"; all of a sudden it's an ancient position that has spanned across all of time and through every realm, like a fairy tale version of the Slayer concept from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And anything empowering about being the Savior is totally gone with this new definition, as now it's a requisite that all Saviors get worn out and die in their Final Battles, doomed to never obtain their happy endings. What a cheap, lazy, miserable way for the writers to raise tension after realizing that all of the epic, mythological stakes raised last season would be hard to top.

Not helping is that in a pretentious way of subverting expectations, they have the majority of the Final Battle...not actually be a battle. Instead, it's a ham-fisted "full-circle to Season 1" situation for Emma and Henry, while everyone else is getting to do more exciting things in the Enchanted Forest. Even the actual battle part of it ends up being underwhelming. Everything does still get wrapped up in a pretty suitable ending, but it's undermined by both the infernal status quo the show's been stuck in since 3B and an intrusive sequel hook into the ill-conceived "reboot" that is Season 7 which never should have been allowed to happen.

Tl;dr: this story arc sucks.

Characters - It's the lowest point for so many of them...

* Emma is a little better in Season 6 than she was in Season 5. She's still generally treated terribly due to the very nature of the arc and has some horrifically shitty things done to her, but she is also able to catch a break every now and then rather than the misery being an uninterrupted stream. She also marries Hook by the end and even plays a decent role in the finale showing how far she's come since Season 1. It was as good a note to go out on as she was going to get, and Jennifer Morrison made the right call to make this the end of her story.

* Snow and Charming...what is there to even say about them at this point? I guess I can say that not only have Goodwin and Dallas' performances largely flatlined and not only are they still written as more parental toward Regina than to their own goddamn daughter who Regina separated them from for 28 years, but they now have retcons applied to them that are ludicrous at best, character assassinating worse than Season 4's eggnapping subplot at worst.  No wonder that Goodwin and Dallas were all too glad to call it quits after this trash!

* Henry, despite all odds, is still one of the better characters in this season! Jared Gilmore continues to prove what a better actor he's become and bring a likability to Henry that sometimes is even enough to counteract less-than-ideal written material. Also, getting to see him more invested in Emma again after being hogged by Regina for so long is great.

* The Savior's Fate Saga is a tale of two Reginas. The Regina Mills of Storybrooke is still as insufferably written a Mary Sue as ever, but now we also have the Evil Queen, the dark side of her personality that split from her. With the exception of one episode, the Evil Queen is played excessively campy by Lana Parilla. Adam and Eddy's claims that this "purely evil" Evil Queen would be even worse than the previous one are laughable when we end up seeing what's actually on screen; the Evil Queen from the first two seasons was a legitimately frightening and formidable villain, whereas this Evil Queen is a clown. Sometimes she's an entertaining clown, while other times she's a cringe-inducing clown. But what she most certainly is not is a worthy adversary to the heroes, especially this late into the show.

And then there's the irony in her ultimate fate: rather than destroy her, Regina mixes her heart with hers so that they are both equal and both redeemed. On the one hand, this is a mind-boggling new level of Creator's Pet for Regina to reach, as you would think that the whole point of the Evil Queen is for Regina to suffer the karmic fatal punishment that she deserves for all her years of atrocities without actually having to kill Regina off. And yet in the end Adam and Eddy couldn't bring themselves to kill off any version of Regina, even after they gleefully killed off alternate versions of Snow and Charming a few episodes earlier. But on the other hand, the redeemed Evil Queen is honestly more likable than the redeemed Regina, actually apologizing to Snow for everything, temporarily sacrificing herself for the greater good of everyone in the finale, and getting to have a happily ever after with an alternate version of Robin Hood following a romance closer to what that relationship should have been from the very beginning. In the end, though, I'm just left wishing that the writers had done a far better job redeeming Regina so that this split Evil Queen wasn't necessary. Who knows, we might have had a better season if so many of it wasn't wasted on her.

* Rumple is awful in this season. Just...the absolute worst. After resolving the plotline that the Season 5 finale left him on in the premiere episode, he cuts his hair short and takes his Darkest Dark One shtick to a whole new level of unpleasant and abusive. He stalks and harasses Belle, attempts to take her baby away, makes out with the Evil Queen, and continues to casually threaten Storybrooke without any remorse or any repercussions. And once his new son Gideon and his mother the Black Fairy enter the picture, he dicks around in nonsensically written plotlines in both the past and the present, while Belle essentially takes him back yet again despite the horrific abuse he inflicted upon her. It's painful to watch, especially when Robert Carlyle has completely given up and is phoning it in like mad, with his regular delivery of lines being in a sleepy tone of voice that actually gets grating to listen to.

Much like in Season 5, Rumple improves in the last five episodes of the season, with Robert Carlyle regaining some energy as he declares war on the mother who abandoned him (if you know Carlyle's life story, you can understand exactly why this is) before learning the shocking truth that he was born as a Savior with his mother being his fated enemy, and that she was banished after she cut him off from that fate. Finally exhausted with it all - light, darkness, heroism, villainy, everything - after the emotions of this revelation hits him, Rumple lays his last cards down on the table, joining his mother's side for the Final Battle but with a magical contingency in case she betrays him (which she does). He then kills his mother, chooses to do the right thing for Belle and Gideon's sake even against the temptation of his dark side, and is rewarded for this one good deed by getting a do-over with the two of them as a family and even being accepted at the table with the other heroes. To quote Rumple back when his character was of the exact opposite quality as it is now: "Well, that was a bit of a letdown!"

Now, the "Rumple was born as a Savior" twist is out-of-nowhere nonsense, but it might have worked if Season 6 had been the final season. Not only would it had made him an effective foil for Emma, but it would also add more dramatic weight to his ultimate fate: his death. Yes, Rumple was in fact all set to die if either the show hadn't gotten renewed for another season or if it was and Robert Carlyle turned down returning for it as he actually was very close to doing, sacrificing his own heart in order to break the spell on Gideon's, conquering his dark side once and for all. A very similar scenario ends up being utilized for Season 7's finale, but it lacks the punch it would have had here, where it's the would-be Savior who, after having reached burnout, dies in his Final Battle, rather than the actual Savior who is able to survive thanks in part to his sacrifice. Of course, I still would have preferred Rumple's death after him being the sole Big Bad of a two-part series finale at the end of Season 5, but I digress. Bottom line: Rumple was a complete mess this season and it's sad how far he’s fallen.  

* Hook starts off well enough in this season, being Emma's stalwart emotional support who accepts her offer to move in with her (a pay-off that we should have had in the Season 5 finale if it only wasn't so crappy), bonding further with Belle and Henry, resolving the hanging plot thread of his younger half-brother while gaining a new father figure, and eventually making plans to propose to Emma. But then...it happens. It's revealed to both him and us that in the most contrived situation possible, Hook was the one who killed Charming's father. This derails his entire character for most of the remaining season, initially torn between telling Emma about this and covering it up before having a break with her which causes him to go mope and dope for a while before being forcibly sent off on a multi-realm misadventure by Gideon and, once he's finally gotten back to Storybrooke, has his transgression easily forgiven by Charming and his marriage proposal re-accepted by Emma, making this entire stretch of time absolutely pointless! Hook has some good moments in both the musical episode where he and Emma's wedding happen and the finale, but they aren't enough to salvage this from being his weakest showing in any season. Dark Hook was better than this!

* Belle...nope, not even gonna talk about her. Like I said before, she's done as a character.

* Zelena is this season's screwed over regular, and in comparison to Archie, Ruby, Neal, Will Scarlet and Robin Hood, she's got it easy. Her problems have less to do with her character, which is one of the better ones in the core cast at this point, but with her material. First, she and Regina have a sudden falling out because Regina...blames her for Robin's death. OK, all of that talk about how far Regina's come for not going evil over the loss of her romantic partner in the Season 5 finale isn't really worth much anymore when she's still resorting to blaming other people who aren't the actual murderer for that loss! Zelena then goes back to living at her isolated farm house, entering an alliance with the Evil Queen where she'll help her out in small ways but also not commit to fully teaming up with her as a villainess since she has a baby to take care of, plus she rightly doesn't entirely trust her alternate sister.

After the Evil Queen betrays Zelena but Regina still doesn't forgive her for what she blames her for, Zelena is absent or in minor roles for several episodes before she ends up joining the heroes' side out of altruism and the desire to become a good example for her daughter, eventually sacrificing her magic powers to aid the cause, which finally gets Regina to forgive her (probably because it's a sacrifice she's never been able to make). And that's about it.

Oh, but she does get to hit the Black Fairy with a car. That was awesome.

* The Black Fairy / Fiona is the Big Bad of the Savior's Fate Saga. Jamie Murray does a great job portraying her, being whimsically evil like you'd expect a dark fairy to be, and the Black Fairy being the person who created the Dark Curse actually makes a lot of sense when you go back and rewatch Season 3's "Going Home", a Dark Curse-heavy episode that first talks about her, or the Blue Fairy's knowing, worried expression upon Rumple's mention of a curse back in Season 1's "The Return". Unfortunately, that's all the praise I can afford her.

The core problem with Fiona as a character is a simple one: she is too derivative of previous, better Big Bads...especially Regina and Peter Pan. Like Regina, she is a powerful, larger-than-life villainess that Emma has always been destined to face as the Savior, and who ultimately casts the Dark Curse which makes herself mayor of Storybrooke, Henry's adopted mother, and a foe that Emma can only defeat if she believes in magic. And like Peter Pan, she is a parent of Rumple who also chose power over love and abandoned him, becoming the all-powerful ruler of a dark realm who occasionally went out and kidnapped children to bring there, and who is positioned as the story's Ultimate Evil who makes her last stand casting the Dark Curse in Storybrooke and being killed by her own son. This is especially bad when we already have an evil version of Regina to contend with this season and when it's following off of Hades, who was a better successor to Peter Pan's style of villainy (ruler of a dark realm that the heroes venture into to save someone) while still being unique.

She did improve somewhat in the last few episodes, where we see that she at least has sincerely loving Rumple as a differentiator from her ex-husband, has a warped belief that eliminating light magic and wiping out all realms but one is actually the right thing to do, and plays her role in the finale well. But it's too little too late for her to be considered as belonging among the great OUAT villains, let alone the Ultimate Evil that she's billed as. She needed a lot more originality and a lot more truly heinous deeds if that was ever to work.

* There are tons of new side characters in this season, usually either well-handled or not.

Well-handled side characters include the Tremaine family (particularly Lady Tremaine) who make Cinderella's life miserable in both the past and present, Captain Nemo who serves as a father figure for Hook and his half-brother Liam II, Gabriel the Woodcutter who makes an entertaining villain in an otherwise dumb flashback, Robert the father of Charming who is well-depicted in spite of how he dies, and Roderick, Gideon's brave but ill-fated friend.

Poorly-handled side characters include the Oracle who is a plot device character if there ever was one, Edmond Dantes (the Count of Montre Cristo in name only) and his lover Charlotte, Beowulf (another in name only character), Stanum the Tin Man who is pointlessly shoved into Zelena's backstory, Tiger Lily who is an exact carbon copy of Tinker Bell, and almost all of the Wish Realm characters because, as I will discuss later, the Wish Realm episodes are awful.

Then there are the in-between side characters, the ones that are handled...well-ish.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde carry over from the Season 5 finale at the start, then are both taken out of the picture in the 4th episode. Their backstory is well written, they are both well acted, and their death contributes to the ongoing Evil Queen plotline. However, it can't help but feel disappointing - we'd only just gotten a working relationship going between Dr. Jekyll and Dr. Whale in the previous episode, and now that's rendered pointless. And Sam Witwer is such an entertaining presence as Mr. Hyde, so it's sad to see him cut down so soon.

Robin of Locksley, the Wish Realm version of Robin Hood who crosses into Storybrooke, is cool in that we get Sean Maguire back and he is allowed to play something slightly different, since this version of Robin is a selfish, sarcastic asshole instead of a noble, chivalrous hero. However, it also reinforces how badly handled Robin Hood in general has been. Much like with what I said about Regina, I would have rather him and his romance with Regina been written well from the beginning so that this "do-over version' wouldn't be necessary.

After much hyping by the network, Aladdin and Jasmine kind of suck. Aladdin has an inexplicable cockney accent that is really distracting, he's written more selfishly and immaturely than his animated counterpart, and making him a Savior in order to tie him to the main plot is stupid. Jasmine fares better, especially when she receives some development in the 15th episode that largely focuses on her, but before that she was just kind of there and didn't possess the same strength of character she was so known for in the animated film.

Jafar, the Big Bad of Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, is featured too. He is now played by Oded Fehr, and while Naveen Andrews is missed, Oded is one of the best replacements possible and does a stellar job. But while he's great whenever he's on screen, that's the problem - he isn't on screen very much at all. He also doesn't accomplish anything relevant to anyone beyond Aladdin and Jasmine in the time he has - even when he is released from his bottle in the present day, all he does is have a confrontation with Jasmine before BOOM! He gets turned into a wooden staff by magic dust thrown into his face and that's it for him. This was yet another sad waste of a great character with a great actor, but then again, Jafar returning in any medium tends to elicit diminishing results compared to his initial outings.

Finally, we have Gideon, Rumple and Belle's son and Emma's direct opponent in the Final Battle. The problem with Gideon is that the writers keep changing his character on a whim. First he's a projection of Rumple and Belle's future son from within Belle's womb, who masquerades as Morpheus in order to put Rumple through a test which he fails miserably. Then, after being kidnapped by the Black Fairy and taken to the Dark Realm, he shows up as angry, Kylo Ren-esque villain who claims that he wants to kill Emma so that he can somehow absorb her power, become the Savior and defeat the Black Fairy. But then it turns out that this was an act he was forced to play - after having been raised to be a villain by Fiona, Gideon rebelled, so she ripped his heart out and has been using it to control his actions so that he could free her from the Dark Realm for good. So he's a pure innocent, then. But then, in the Final Battle, he is rewritten by Fiona's curse into a stingy, spiteful businessman before reverting back to his innocent but controlled self...and then reverting back into a baby. Gideon, you've come full circle....and I still have no idea just who the Hell you are.  

Returning characters include Violet, Ashley / Cinderella, Dr. Whale / Victor Frankenstein, the Dragon, August Booth / Pinocchio, King George / Albert Spencer, Baelfire, Tinker Bell, Ariel, Blackbeard, Malcolm, and Isaac Heller. Some of these returns are successful (I always love to see Ariel, and Isaac receiving some closure as a character was fantastic to see), others not so much (Tink's cameo was contradictory and pointless, and there was no excuse bringing back Baelfire in a flashback - for God's sake, Dylan Schmid is as tall as Robert Carlyle now!)

Atmosphere - There really isn't much of one anymore for the majority of the season. There is nothing remotely special about Storybrooke or the Enchanted Forest at this point, new places like the Dark Realm are woefully underexplored, and there aren't any locations like Camelot, the Underworld, or the Land of Untold Stories from last season that make a big impact.

However, there is certainly atmosphere in the two-part season finale, "The Final Battle". Unfortunately, instead of being an epic atmosphere like you would expect, it's dark and miserable and claustrophobic up until the happy ending. Kind of sums up the show now!

Episode Quality - A few episodes in this season are so bad that they're downright unwatchable, and I was able to watch the worst of late Season 2. "Changelings" is all about Rumple taking his abuse of Belle to a new level all while the episode tries to use the Evil Queen and the Black Fairy as scapegoats so that you can feel bad for him. "Ill-Boding Patterns" continues the whitewashing of Rumple at the direct expense of his sons, completely butchering Beowulf in the process. "Page 23" is an exercise with boredom in both the flashback and present day stories and comes to a truly awful conclusion for Regina's character that doesn't even make sense for her. And "Awake" has the ugliest-looking, most ill-conceived flashback story ever: Snow and Charming actually woke up during the Dark Curse and then woke up Rumple so that he could take them to Emma, only to then choose to abandon her so that she can achieve her destiny as the Savior before everyone goes back to sleep (quite literally in Charming's case, how the fuck does that work!?) The only reason this exists is so that Adam and Eddy can say "See? Snow and Charming totally DID abandon their daughter!" whenever anyone says it's Regina's fault Emma grew up without parents.

Perhaps most insidiously, we have the two-part midseason finale, "Wish You Were Here" and "Tougher Than the Rest". Aladdin is turned into a genie and the Evil Queen takes advantage of a passing statement Emma made about sometimes wishing she wasn't the Savior by making a wish that Emma's desire was granted. Thus the Wish Realm, an alternate world where the Dark Curse was never cast, is created. And the insults just keep piling up from there: the depiction of Emma as a wimpy princess if she had been raised by her parents, Regina trying to prove to Emma that "none of this is real" by crushing Wish Snow and Wish Charming's hearts (I can vividly envision Adam and Eddy having an orgasm over this scene), Emma snapping out of it when Wish Henry tries to kill Regina and that's "everything Emma never wanted him to be" (a fucking hero who will bring down the monster who slaughtered his grandparents!?), Charming similarly being considered "dark" for trying to kill the Evil Queen, the explicitly stated notion that Emma owes Regina for ruining her life because that's what made her strong, the appearance of Wish August who is so much more boring than the real August, the appearance of Wish Hook as a fat old drunk, and Rumple and Belle getting back together due to what's going on with Gideon, with Belle asking "What have we done to each other?" (NO. There is ZERO moral equivalence between Belle and Rumple here.)

"The Savior", "A Bitter Draught", "Street Rats", "I'll Be Your Mirror", "Mother's Little Helper", "Where Bluebirds Fly" and "The Black Fairy" are all watchable, if not particularly good.

All the other episodes have their strong points. "The Other Shoe" is a fun breather episode the likes of which this show desperately needed more of. "Strange Case" features a great take on the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. "Dark Waters" has Hook and Henry at their best and introduces Captain Nemo played by the great Faran Tahir. "Heartless" is the only episode in the season where Lana Parilla plays the Evil Queen with old-school menace, with the curse she ends up placing on Snow and Charming being legitimately ingenious and diabolical. "Murder Most Foul", until its literal last minute twist, is a highly engaging story and features a (rare at this point and thus even more appreciated) explosively emotional performance from Josh Dallas in its climax. "A Wondrous Place", if you ignore the awful Storybrooke scenes, is a weird and wacky crossover between characters of various stories that reminds you why you liked this show to begin with, and features Oded Fehr's last and best performance as Jafar where he is finally able to match Naveen Andrews in raw intensity.

Then there's the musical episode, "The Song In Your Heart". This is the textbook definition of an episode that is really good and enjoyable in a bubble, but is utter nonsense when applied in context. The flashback is a total filler story about a musical curse being cast by the Blue Fairy so that its result can be used by Emma in the present, and it’s only being used by Emma in the present because the Black Fairy suddenly decides "forget casting the Dark Curse and having the Final Battle, I'll take the Savior out now!", and when she fails it's right back to casting the Dark Curse and having the Final Battle as if nothing ever happened! And Emma and Hook having their rooftop wedding where the whole town starts singing and dancing about "a Happy Beginning" despite knowing damn well that the Dark Curse's arrival is imminent is hysterical- all logic dictates this should have been saved for after the crisis is over, not before it's even begun! It's dumb as Hell, but the songs and dance moves are fun (except for the Snow and Charming vs. Regina one, that was just cringy) so it gets a pass.

Lastly, there's "The Final Battle". For all of its many, many faults, it is better than Season 5's two-part finale (and also better than Season 7's, as we'll get to in the next post), and the areas where there could have been improvement are so blatantly obvious that what could have been is easy to imagine (ex: Rumple dying, a few questionable shots from the final happy ending montage cut, and the entirety of the dumbass Season 7 lead-in framing device removed entirely). It's the closest to a decent series finale we have, even if in terms of satisfaction it pales in comparison to the likes of "A Land Without Magic", "Going Home", "There's No Place Like Home", and Once Upon a Time in Wonderland's "And They Lived..."

Overall - I need to issue a formal retraction about the statement I made in this long-ago post. Not about how Season 5 would have been better with an even stronger connection between its two arcs; I still believe that. But returning to a full-season story arc format was a terrible idea, because with Season 6 we see that Season 1 was lightning in a bottle that's never getting recaptured. Every other time Adam and Eddy are given a full-season story arc, their ADHD style of storytelling won't let them stay focused and they'll end up throwing everything but the kitchen sink into it, resulting in a disjointed, convoluted, borderline incoherent mess. This is especially bad at a point where the vast majority of their most talented scriptwriters have long since departed from the writing team. Season 6 isn't the worst season (that comes up next), but it's probably the most miserable and depressing one, especially considering the fact that it was enough to make several main cast members quit. Back in Season 3, I'd have been ecstatic if you told me that this show would be getting 3 more seasons. Now, when actually at Season 6, I was horrified when I was told that it was getting 1 more season. 

[sevensoulmates]

I want budfdie to become canon but I cant imagine how because I honestly cant see buck making the first move cause hes confident but I dont think he would risk ruining what him eddie and chris currently have and the same with eddie tbh

See now that’s where the show can get creative. Make it interesting. Don’t make it so straight forward as a simple confession and boom we done. The nitty gritty is where this romance shit sucks me in. 

We’ve seen that the show is not above quick fixes when it comes to romance. We’ve seen Bathena happen over the course of 1 episode. We saw Madney happen over the course of half of season 2. We saw Buck/Abby start and end over the course of 1 season. Depending on when the show decides to make them get together, it’ll definitely be the longest it took for them to set up a couple. 

If you really want me to talk about I personally would LIKE to see it all go down (and not necessarily 100% how I predict it will go down), you can read under the cut. 

If we’re talking wish-fulfillment, I would like there to be something that comes up that changes the buckley-diaz family dynamic (like a love interest? or a new baby?) Suddenly Buck’s attention is not completely on Eddie/Christopher. Or maybe Buck is forced to not spend as much time with them if Eddie is the one with a love interest. Whatever way, something happens and the dynamic they’ve come to build and love has to change. And not-a-one of them likes it. At all. It feels off. It feels fractured. It feels incomplete. It’s just not right but they can’t figure out why. 

Then I would like something to happen that makes Buck realize his feelings are romantic. Not sure what. Could be a near death experience, could be a buckley-diaz family moment, could be a love interest jealousy, etc. Something happens, Buck now realizes his feelings but keeps it quiet. Buck’s abandonment issues are likely to really shine due to this. Don’t tell Eddie your feelings, because rejection will literally mean losing the two most important people in his life. 

Then, I would like for the story to progress with Eddie learning to let Christopher be an independent person, and Eddie learning how to be the Eddie’s who entire identity isn’t Christopher’s Father. I would like him to seek Buck out more for one on one time that doesn’t involve Christopher. This could be clouded by things going on in the background like a love interest, or whatever dramatic things are happening with work (ie. like the lawsuit/street-fighting arcs this season). But Eddie starts to find himself needing and wanting Buck even more now that he’s trying to figure himself out outside of his role of Father. And then whether or not they have a love interest happening on the side, or any other dramatic things, I just want them to WANT to be in each other’s presence so much that they are fighting to carve time out together. 

And then I would like something to happen in one of two ways: 

1.) maybe something exceptionally funny happens, like a crazy stupid call, or something with Christopher, or maybe Buck and Eddie babysitting Baby Madney and something funny happens, etc, anyway they’re busting up laughing, just enjoying themselves so completely in each other’s presence, that they both naturally lean into a kiss. OR

2.) something big happens work related. another near-death experience. something triggering for one or both of them. or maybe failing to save someone and it hits them hard. And they just naturally seek out comfort from the other, and in that comfort, find themselves kissing.

I truly don’t think the show will have them doing much verbal confessing to start out with. I think it will be something physical like a kiss, that will force them into needing to figure out what they are to each other. This might lead them to seek out a separate love interest (man or woman), or it might lead them to distancing themselves for a time. But because they’ve come to find that they need the other so badly in their lives, they can’t just avoid each other. Last time they were this separated Eddie fell into street-fighting. So, they decide to slowly see where things might be able to go with them. No telling anyone. No letting it effect work. No letting it effect Christopher. If one or both of them feel that it might not work out romantically, then they both mutually agree to going back to being best friends who are still always there for each other and always there for Chris. 

AND THEN, once they DO decide to tell people. I want to see some drama happen on the work related front. I do not want them to just slide back on into work easy peasy. I want there to be ramifications, perhaps consequences having to do with fraternization (I’m pretty sure I read this in a fic somewhere). I don’t want it to be as easy as “okay sign these papers we gucci now”. I want there to be an adjustment period where they are now forced to fight for their relationship on a professional front as well, not just a personal one. I want them to have to show that ‘hey we can be professional as work partners at work while still being romantic partners outside of work’. 

And this doesn’t have to all happen over the course of 1 season (like season 4). Could happen over the course of multiple. I’m pretty sure this formula has been done somewhere in some fics, idk man. I’m not a procedural show writer, but these are some general thoughts I have about them potentially getting together in a way that’s both in character and could actually be plausible. 

Along the way some other things I would like to see happening on the buckley-diaz family front:

a throw back to the grocery store scene involving an apology on eddie’s end and an actual discussion of buck’s feelings of abandonment as well as eddie’s.

pointed differences between buck being a father to chris vs. an uncle to madney baby

eddie actually learning of buck’s past

soft hugs, warm kisses

someone acknowledging buck, eddie and chris as their own family unit

chris and buck individual bonding moments

acknowledgement of buck being chris’s other father

chris having more moments of friendship with the other firefam kids specifically denny and harry. I want them to be bffs. 

[lvnce-mcclain]

Lmao I’m too weak willed to not get pulled further into this AU. Basically at this point all this means is that leading up to Eddie Begins, Buck and Eddie have primed themselves for the Big Transition in their relationship. So instead of the fight club arc, Eddie gets a growth arc not rooted in violence. He has Buck to help him through some of rougher emotions that comes along with unpacking all his trauma, but it helps that they can bond over similar nights out stationed. It helps Buck, too, to process through some of the things he’s been too ashamed to unpack, because he’s always thought of being kicked out of the force as this great failure so it means something too deep for Buck when Eddie tells him the army just taught Buck what kind of person he was destined to be; how he wouldn’t have learned this intrinsic need to be actively saving people if he didn’t “fail” at what the army asked of him. That everything has led him into finding what he’s meant to do, and not to question the road he had to take to get there because every step is already behind him.

How it’s a lesson Eddie learns for himself, while he’s learning to let himself be happier while in the moment. That he comes to accept his marriage to Shannon wasn’t a failure because it gave them Chris and the decade or so between them gave them the ability to work as a team when needed to co-parent their son. It wasn’t a failure, because Eddie learns everything a husband isn’t so he feels comfortable entering a relationship with Buck, knowing full well there’s hope for a happy future in the end since Eddie’s more sure of his ability to be a good partner now.

So imagine these two working so hard to get to a point where they can safely and responsibly move forward with their relationship. Imagine how heated the moments would start getting, the closer they realize they are to taking That Step. Imagine the satisfaction for character growth when we see the lessons Buck learned with Abby actually stick, and what a good throwback it would be to s1 when Buck had tried so hard not to be sexual with Abby so as not to mess things up but in the end couldn’t help but start a relationship—and look at him now, and imagine that sweet gratification from Buck jumping into waiting without hesitation when it comes to Eddie. Knowing without a doubt that even the chance to start something with his best friend would be the best decision of his life, and he’d wait forever if he had to. (But he’s really hoping forever doesn’t last much longer, tbh.)

And then imagine Eddie Begins happens. And tbh, Buck wouldn’t act much differently lbr. Boy acted like his entire world was ripped from him when Eddie disappeared, so. I really don’t think that could get much better reaction wise. But man oh man the aftermath would be so much sweeter.

Just imagine the absolute knee-shattering relief Buck would feel at seeing Eddie again—haggard and worn but alive—and him and Christopher spending the night at Eddie’s bedside since the doctors insist on overnight monitoring. Imagine how Eddie doesn’t even fight Chris this time when he insists on staying with his Buck and his daddy, and Shannon doesn’t even say anything about it when she drops off a late late dinner for them before visitor hours close. Honestly, she almost looked like she was halfway considering asking to stay too, but Eddie is grateful she only looked at the three of them with a watery smile that was way too accepting to be anything other than defeat, and bowed out.

Imagine how full Eddie’s chest would be as he watches Buck hold a sleeping Christopher in the most awkward position Eddie knows can’t be comfortable while they’re both shoved into the crappy hospital recliner instead of the cot. Chris is still facing Eddie—unwilling to take his eyes off his dad the entire time he was fighting sleep—and Buck is gently rocking the chair with one foot propped against the edge of Eddie’s bed. Eddie is fairly certain Buck hasn’t realized Chris is passed out yet, because he’s just still humming some off tune pop song that was on the radio on the way to the station at the start of their shift this morning, one hand sifting through the soft curls at the crown of Chris’ head and the other idly flipping channels on the silent tv in the corner of the room.

Eddie realizes there’s no doubt about how much he loves the man next to him as he watches Buck’s—large, strong, gentle—hands brush down Chris’ hair to his his back, nothing but the picture of love and adoration as he sits next to Eddie at two in the morning in the hospital after Eddie nearly died. Eddie realizes this cramped room still feels like home, because Buck is with him and Chris is safe between them. Eddie realizes that there is no way he can make it without having Buck beside him in life the way he is now, for the rest of his life.

Eddie realizes it doesn’t matter that they haven’t figured out the intimate bits of their relationship; he’s had enough stirred within him the countless times he’s caught himself staring at Buck doing something stupidly endearing to know they’ll definitely figure it out with enough practice. And the practice is something Eddie is really, really looking forward to.

Eddie realizes—in between Buck sighing softly and giving up on the TV, switching the power off and changing tune on his humming, making it lower and harder for Eddie to hear as he scoops his arm under Chris and readjusts so his head is better supported—that Buck already knows how to integrate into Eddie and Christopher’s lives as a stepfather, because he’s already excelled at being such a positive adult influence in Christopher’s life that most of Chris’ teachers already assume Buck and Eddie’s relationship status.

Hell, they even had to sit over the kitchen table with receipts and job records and shit this year when tax season rolled around, because they had so many intertwining finances ever since Buck moved in it was just easier for them to do them together to make sure nothing got left out.

Eddie just realizes he’s always had this picture-perfect image of a family in his head and he’s built something so much better, and they’re crammed into a crappy recliner beside him and there’s nowhere else he’d rather be right now.

So in between one breath and the next, Eddie has asked, “Marry me?” like the words are light as air.

Air which chokes Buck, who freezes and has to check to make sure he hasn’t woken up the sleeping nine year old in his arms. He meets Eddie’s gaze with so much burning heat Eddie wishes there was a way for them to get a jumpstart on that practice. “You’re serious?”

“Would never joke about it, not with you,” Eddie tells him evenly, catching Buck’s eyes and refusing to let them go.

“Then yes. Yes, of course,” Buck grins, and it’s a blinding thing but Eddie just lets himself bask in it.

Anyway yeah that would have been cool for s3. Haven’t put much thought on how it would affect 3x16 and 3x17 but I’m sure there’s more you could explore still having Abby come back.

Either way anyway who has stuck along this weird not-fic ride with me thanks! My inbox is always open if anyone wants to chat meta shit like this with me.

[calliecat93]

Red vs Blue RTX 2019 Panel Masterpost

As many of you know, due to RT being unable to sign on a streaming partner, they couldn’t stream RTX. We weren’t sure if the RvB panel would be recorded or not, and so far no word on their end… but there is good news! Someone at the panel went and recorded it themselves, so we are able to see it! And as such, as I did last year, I can do a masterpost for it! Now they didn’t really reveal any major news, which is expected since the season just wrapped up a month ago. But some cool stuff did come up! So let's talk about it!

Panelists: Miles Luna (showrunner/writer/director for Chorus, co-writer for SIngularity, voice of Felix) Jason Weight (head writer for SIngularity)  Josh Ornelas (co-director) Austin Clark (co-director) Greg Slagel (show producer)  Matt Hullum (CEO of RT, executive producer, voice of Sarge, Doc/O’Malley, and Wyoming) Burnie Burns (series creator and the original showrunner/writer/director, CCO of RT, executive producer, voice of Church and Lopez)

“I’m Burnie Burns, and my character is dead.” Starting on a happy note clearly!

For questions this year, they had people submit them on Twitter with the hashtag #rtxrvb that Burnie will read off throughout the panel.

Jason found being handed the reigns of finishing the current arc super intense, but he was happy since after becoming attached to certain characters when acting as an assistant writer for S16, eh got to treat them how he wanted to treat them! He especially wanted to spoil Donut throughout this season. Miles felt the same way about Tucker when doing Chorus.

One moment that Jason beings up that stuck out to him is in S5, when the Reds see Kai nude… but Donut was more concerned about how the Blue Base had better lighting than they did. It felt like there was depth there that he wanted to look into.

There had been concerns from Miles and some of the others about if Donut could pull off being the lead… and clearly, the answer is that he absolutely can!

This was the first time that Josh and Austin were put into full-blown director positions for an entire season. Austin, in particular, went from an assistant machinimator to a main machinmator, to a machinima director within a few years (he began at S14). They both found it scary, especially with how much power they now had, but having the direction from Jason’s writing greatly helped.

Miles brings up how usually the writer and director for RvB are the same people, this being the first regular season where that wasn’t the case. As such, Jason had to wait like everyone else to see the final product, but he was very pleased with the results. He mentions the scene in Episode 9 with Wash and Carolina as an example of how much he loved the direction done with the episodes.

They talk about some of the things that you can and can’t do in machinima and how certain Halo titles have certain quirks that make filming more difficult than it at first looks. For example, in Halo 4 they always raised their guns when moving and they had to figure out how to work with that.

One thing that Jason wishes that the characters could do would be to sit or lay down, which is impossible to do within machinima. Burnie talks about how there were certain verbs that they couldn't use, like ‘sit’, and one thing that he wished that they could do was to point at things instead of having to say ‘look over in that direction’.

Question: what’s it like to take over RvB and pick up form different storylines. Burnie talks about how he likes that with the show, there are certain points where they tell a complete story. So if you want to top after Blood Gulch or Freelancer or whatever, there is a point where the story complete’s itself, and you can jump off. Though there is quite a bit of a back catalog for those who have to pick it up next…

Jason, unlike others, had to jump on during an in-progress story. As such, he didn’t make many new characters due to the size of the cast already and the need to wrap up Joe’s story. 

Early on, Miles, Jason, and Joe worked on planning the season out and figuring out the time travel stuff. Due to a slightly slimmer done, they couldn’t go as hard with animation as last time, so there was a lot of discussion on what could and couldn’t be done. It is why they decided to go back through the older Halo iterations since going form say Halo 2 to 4 would make it more visually striking.

Miles recounts one point when planning where Jason and Joe were arguing over how they wanted a certain moment to go. Miles had to step in and remind them that it was a paradox, so they were both right and wrong so they needed to just pick something. In general, figuring out timelines and recounting where every character was and what they were doing was very difficult and stressful and while it was fun, no one wants to do it ever again.

They dubbed the paradox timeline where Wash was and wasn’t shot ‘Schrodinger’s Asshole’ They had to label the timeline in order to figure out where everyone kept going, and Greg, as the producer, had to keep track of it.

Jason tells the story behind Wash’s “Goddamnit!” moment. That episode was written by Miles, who was trying to figure out how Wash would get the info that he needed during the Freelancer shenanigans. Jason asked, “why doesn't he just go to a time period where he and Carolina are already friends and get it there?”. Cue Miles screaming the Wash way!

There was a lot of figuring things out. For example, Jason originally had Locus shooting/killing mooks during the S15 scene… until after it got to machinima, Josh pointed out that Locus didn’t kill anymore at that point. So they went with him shooting people in the kneecaps!

One of the scenes that Austin found difficult was in Episode 9 during the shootout in Halo 4. Austin had never done machinima in Halo 4, so that was a bit of a learning curve. Miles talks about the original S11 version of that scene and he had to constantly change the set for three weeks due to various things getting broken and destroyed during the fight. When writing for Episode 9, he just went ‘Josh, Austin please forgive me’

Miles talks about Greg’s role as a producer and how big of a relief it was to have him scheduling things and keeping them on track, especially during the more stressful days where he’d suggest doing some less intense scenes of characters just talking. There were a lot of times where Greg had to tell them that they couldn’t do a certain thing and they had to go and come up with something again, but it was ultimately necessary to have had happen.

There were a LOT of times where Jason wrote something that they really liked… and then had to tell him that they couldn't do it, especially due to the budget and the schedule. It was hard, but Jason was very happy with how things came out in the end. And there were times where they were able to make it work, like having black holes.

Another question from the audience was if Locus’ Sword Quest would mean that he’d get an alien baby. Miles, in his opinion, thought that Crunchbite was just super fucked up and a big fat liar. Burnie is all for Locus having a baby, however. Greg even brings up the alien pregnancy poster shown in the finale, so it can’t be that rare, right?

As far as if Locus would be a good parent, Miles says maybe and ‘he needs therapy’.

Regarding the changes done to Chrovos, Jason (like the rest of us) saw Kalirama and got excited about a female villain, so when that ultimately petered out he came up with Lady Chrovos. How he cast Lee Eddy is that he saw her at the Camp Camp panel the previous year and really wanted to give her a role somehow.

He described Chrovos in the notes as a ‘predatory Glenn Close crossed with Maria from The Sound of Music’. There were also many takes done of Lee’s voice since, due to her expositing a lot, they wanted to make her fun to listen to so that it wouldn’t be boring. The directors eventually brought Jason in to direct via Skype (Jaosn liked int he UK) in order to get the performance that they were looking for, and luckily Lee nailed it.

Jason tended to put a lot of British slang in his scrips, and they had to be cut because no one knew any of them meant.

There were a lot of questions about RvB’s future and where it’s going next. This leads to Burnie asking the panel about how they feel about Halo Infinite and having to switch to that. He talks about his experience with switching engines since it happened several times during his run, such as thinking that they went to Halo 2 too early due to doing it because it was newly released and wanting to go ahead and rush into it. They learned their lesson when switching to Halo 3.

When it came to learning to fit the story into a new engine, Burnie would load whatever iteration he was going to be working with, wonder through Blood Gulch, and look at stuff to figure out what was there and how they can and can't work with things within the limitations that they had.

As for Halo Infinite, Burnie’s looking forward to seeing what can do within it. Miles is super happy to see the classic armor return due to it being much more simplistic. Greg jokes about how they just did a time travel arc, and Halo just so happened to go back to the more retro look. Coincidence?!

Everyone, including the audience, agree that Halo 3 is the one they liked working in best.

Another audience question is what the crew thinks that Caboose’s Starter Pokemon would be.Miles says Miltank due to Caboose misunderstanding what the Pokemon would look like cause… well, ‘tank’. Burnie says Yoshi. Wrong series Burnie! Someone also says Mr. Mine cause then Caboose could play Charades all day.

On the topic of Pokemon, Burnie talks about video game movies like Detective Pikachu, and movies more inspired by video games like the Resident Evil series. RvB has been around during the era where it looked like a video game movie was going to be a blockbuster… and those failed. But now there seems to be some kind of footing forming for video game films that aren't quite like the game, but still works like RvB is for Halo.

Going back to S17, there was a point where they considered re-using old footage from previous seasons to make the workload easier, but aside from a few shots in montages, that didn’t work. Everything had to be re-shot, re-recorded, and they had to get back all the original voices that weren’t on the show anymore for a job they did years ago. A big reason why is because of how the quality has evolved much higher quality things look now, so putting together old Halo footage with new would have been very noticeable.

Speaking of things evolving, Miles talks about how he feels that all the characters, in some form, have changed a lot over the years. Characters like Caboose are nothing like they were in the beginning. They actually did talk for quite a while about if they should have past!Caboose sounds more like he did then or just stick with the current voice. They kept it the same since Sarge had a similar case where the voice sounded nothing like now (cue everyone staring at Matt) but they didn’t change it there, so they didn’t do it for Caboose.

On that though, when everyone turns to look at him, Matt (who had been quiet throughout at this point) reveals that he wanted to do a little game. He often gets asked about Sarge quotes, but he can never remember them. So he wrote down a whole bunch, and so whenever anyone talks to him/asks him something for the rest of the panel, he’ll respond with a random Sarge quote (in this case, he does the Angelina Jolie lines from the Internet vs Real Life PSA). It is absolutely glorious. If you watch the video for any reason, do it for this!

Back on the topic of character evolution though, Miles got obsessed with the idea of Freelancer essentially being like high school when writing the Wash episode and liked the idea of having a character confront who and where they were then and recognizing who you are now.

Speaking of Wash, Jason talks about his and Carolina’s relationship as well as about Wash’s disability. To him, he found it weird how a show about war very rarely had the cast get hurt and how they’re usually killed off instead ( Jason: “Or they’ll die temporarily and come back, like Donut” Miles: “And Church, and Lopez…” Burnie: Lopez had so many lines this season). So he likes this new avenue with Wash.

Burnie, after pointing out how he’s been doing Lopez for so long after it was just supposed to be a dumb joke and he STILL hasn’t learned any Spanish, brings up having to record early Church again, who was very shouty. At this point, Burnie cannot do that for very long before he gives out. I guess that might explain why he sounded somewhat off. Miles has similar problems with other roles, only being able to do David in Camp Camp for so long due to the energy levels and he can no longer use his early!Jaune voice due to his vocal cords no longer being able to hit that range.

The directors threw in some Easter Eggs during the black hole, such as Genkins golf ball form when he knocked one into a black hole in S6. Which… guess I’ll have to rewatch cause I didn’t notice any Easter Eggs at all, but apparently a lot of others did.

They announce some new merch coming up. This includes some new shirts for the Grif Collection line, some shirts like that one released on RT’s Anniversary), and a second wave for the RvB Rivals line.

They also aired the RvB17 Blooper Reel… but due to copyright, this was cut from the video. Apparently, there was some kind of montage of Caboose saying ‘hello’ though. Still, gotta wait for the DVD for that one.

The last few minutes are more audience questions. One is about asking if the machinima team will do anything with the PC version of the Master Chief Collection. Austin says that, if there’s mod support, there could be the possibility of mashing up some of the Halo games. Burnie also talks about Theater Mode and how much of a relief it was to have added to the console versions, so with it coming to all iterations, this is very beneficial to them.

They also talk about how whenever there’s a big Halo-related announcement, they get a lot of questions. Like if they’ll switch to PC after the recent announcement about the Master Chief Collection… while they were already in the middle of filming S17. Whether they will or not they don’t know since they need to look it over first and figure out all the quirks and limitations of the game mechanics first.

Burnie: Does Sarge know any Caboose lines? 

Matt (as Sarge): Quiet Bluetard.”

Question about crossing over RvB with any other RT show. The popular answer is Camp Camp due to their comedic tones. Miles does change his answer to Day 5 just to see how they'd survive without sleep and jokes about how Grif would give in and be a goner within 30 seconds. Other shows thrown out are On the Spot and The Chip Show. Burnie brings up how there’s this in-universe show in Lazer Team and he’d like to see them appear on that.

There was a question about if there would ever be an RvB movie. Burnie asks the audience if they would be interested after this many years, and there is a LOOOOT of cheering. Burnie and Matt have very ominous looks throughout. No answer on if it would ever happen or not, but maybe one day.

“What was your favorite running gag in S17, and why was it shooting Donut?” Give the guy who asked that a medal.

So there was some kind of cut there, so moving on…

Miles talks about (I think) bringing back characters like O’Malley and Kai at the end of Chorus as a way to say goodbye to them. But after Joe and Jason came in, they decided to use those characters more. They especially grew to love Kai, Jason especially due to her filthy humor and absolutely owning it.

They talk about how Tucker and Kai seem similar due to their sexually charged humor… but they are quite different. Tucker’s is essentially a front that he uses to hide his insecurities and build himself up. Kai knows who she is, owns who she is, and you can either accept her or get the Hell out of her way. 

Someone asks for them to recap RvB. Matt takes care of that with the following Sarge quote: “A priest, rabbi, and Grif walk into a bar… and then I kill ‘em!”. Best. Recap. EVER. 

The final question is if they’d ever consider making RvB, or any other machinima series, outside of Halo. They talk about one they did long ago called Panics, which they didn’t continue due to split from the company, and since they have to license the video game footage to do machinima, they couldn’t do more. 

As for RvB switching, that is unlikely to happen since it’s so ingrained into Halo now.

They have considered other machinima shows in the past. Miles would like to do one with Apex Legends… but since it has stuff like lip flaps and all, it wouldn’t work. Austin would like to do something with Call of Duty.

The panel ends with Miles asking the crew in the audience to stand up and everyone gives them applause.

[junker-town]

SB Nation Reviews: The Skyhook

Photo by Focus on Sport via Getty Images

PERFORMANCE: 9.7

STYLE: 8.9

OVERALL: 9.3

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s skyhook was unstoppable, even when you knew it was coming. Left leg sweeping across the lane, ready to root itself to the ground like a tree trunk. Right leg bending 90 degrees at the knee, suspended in mid-air. Right arm tucking behind the head before slowly unfurling straight in the air. Left arm raising to protect the inside of the ball ball, then sweeping down into your air space like a floating shield. The same thing, every damn time. And every time, the defense was hopeless.

PERFORMANCE: 9.7

We can’t pinpoint the exact percentage Abdul-Jabbar shot on his patented move, since his heyday predates the internet itself. Our best guess comes via one intrepid blogger named “LamarMatic” who tracked all of Abdul-Jabbar’s skyhooks from the 1983 playoffs. He played in 15 playoff games that season, including 10 against Hall of Fame centers Artis Gilmore and Moses Malone. The results: an even 50 percent on skyhooks while scoring 1.06 points per possession. (For comparison, only two teams scored at least a point per possession on post-up plays during the 2019-20 season). Those efficiency numbers seem like a conservative estimate for his entire body of work, given Abdul-Jabbar’s age (he was 35, the oldest player in the playoffs) and the quality of competition he faced.

Abdul-Jabbar claims nobody has ever blocked his skyhook head-on. “Maybe a few people got to it, coming to help where I couldn’t see them, but if I knew where someone was, that person was not going to block that shot, because I always got my body in between them and the ball before I released the ball, and it’s impossible to get to it,” Abdul-Jabbar told then-ESPN writer J.A. Adande. He’s wrong that nobody blocked the skyhook — here’s a clip of Wilt Chamberlain swatting the skyhook twice in one play, and here’s one of Ralph Sampson doing the deed — but he certainly captured the feeling any opponents had at the time. It felt unblockable, and there’s nothing more demoralizing than a move that has no defensive counter.

The most important reason the skyhook became unstoppable is also the most boring: Abdul-Jabbar is tall. He was listed at 7’2, but he played much bigger than that. When he fully extended his right arm and leaped into the air off his left foot, he could reach higher than any human ever could. He once told astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson that his release point on the skyhook was “about 10 feet to 11 feet in the air.” That seems about right.

Crucially, Abdul-Jabbar still had the arm strength to give the shot some arc while spinning it off his middle and index fingers. That separates the skyhook from a more traditional jump hook, which tends to be shot on the way up and lacks the soft backspin of the skyhook. It’s easier to think of the skyhook as a one-handed, one-legged, sideways jump shot released at 11 feet, where nobody could block it.

Getting to that point was the key. As Abdul-Jabbar told Adande: “When you shoot it, you force people to wait for you to go up. And if they wait until I started to shoot it then they’d have to judge the distance and time it, and it’s gone before they can catch up to it.”

That all happens because of two other key elements of the move. The first is that wide lefty step across the lane, which creates that barrier between Abdul-Jabbar’s body and the defender. The best way to disrupt the hook is to force him to take that step backward and at an angle, throwing him off-balance. If you made that leg look like this, you had a chance.

Photo by Rich Pilling/NBAE via Getty Images

But that rarely happened. Because Abdul-Jabbar made it a point to step through defenders instead of around them, his left leg stood straight up like an oak tree. They were stuck yielding him space, like so.

Or falling back when the full force of his weight ricocheted off their sides.

That leads us to the final hidden key of the skyhook’s effectiveness: that off arm. Say you do everything perfectly as a defender. You pushed Abdul-Jabbar out on the block. You didn’t let him easily use his left leg to power through you. You’re in his space as much as you possibly can be. Your arm is extended outward to alter the shot. Even if you do all that, you still have no chance to block the shot because Abdul-Jabbar’s other arm is sweeping downward to swipe you away.

Photo by Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE via Getty Images

Photo by Focus on Sport/Getty Images

Abdul-Jabbar’s success in hiding that off-arm is the most underrated reason why the skyhook has faded into obscurity. Imagine Abdul-Jabbar replicating that very motion over and over in a world where any fan can slow down high-definition video and point out uncalled offensive fouls. Consider the uproar James Harden gets for his own foul hunting, especially on drives to the basket. That noise would be 10 times louder for Abdul-Jabbar’s skyhook. The league would legislate that motion out of the game with a snap of the finger.

That’s at least a more plausible explanation for the shot’s demise than the OK Boomer-style ones Abdul-Jabbar himself offers. At first, he blamed kids emulating high-flyers like Michael Jordan and Julius Erving. From a 1988 New York Times profile:

‘’One main reason is the kids growing up today all want to be like Michael Jordan and Dr. J and Dominique,’’ he said, referring to Julius Erving and Dominique Wilkins. ‘’They want to show great and obvious athletic ability and jump high and shoot jumpers and throw the ball down.’’

Nowadays, he redirects the same argument to different kinds of players.

“Everyone is so enamored with the three-point shot. So the kids, they don’t want two points. They don’t want to work with their back to the basket. That’s not cool. They want to go out there in the stratosphere and shoot three-pointers.”

Has Abdul-Jabbar ever considered that the reason people don’t shoot hook shots anymore isn’t because it’s not cool, but because it’s impossible for anyone else to put together all the elements necessary to make it a great shot? Speaking of ...

STYLE: 8.9

I’ve never understood the argument that the skyhook isn’t cool. Are these people out of their minds?

Interviews with a half-dozen coaches revealed many of the same answers. The game has changed. It’s a tough shot to learn. It’s not cool. “Teams just don’t walk it up and drop it in the post anymore,” said Pelicans coach Alvin Gentry. Added Thunder assistant coach Mark Bryant: “You aren’t going to get any commercials shooting the skyhook. Only [Kareem] got commercials shooting the skyhook.”

[...]

“The kids don’t like doing it,” Bryant said, laughing. “It kind of boils down to that.”

Lest you think it’s just a few grumpy coaches, even Shaquille O’Neal admitted his generation “likes to be a lot cooler.”

Which hook shot do you think looks cooler? This ...

Or this?

Which shot do you try more when shooting around? It sure as hell ain’t O’Neal’s.

Abdul-Jabbar’s even has an incredible name: skyhook. That’s the term Bucks broadcaster Eddie Doucette used to describe the iconic shot Abdul-Jabbar made to win Game 6 of the 1974 NBA Finals.

It’s a bit misleading to say that moment was the first usage of the term, as is legend. There’s audio of Doucette using it all the way back in 1970, and you can also hear Pat Summerall (yes, that Pat Summerall), saying “The sky hook is good!” on the TV call. Regardless, read Doucette’s explanation for how he coined the term and tell me this doesn’t sound dope as hell. (Emphasis mine):

“When he went to that baseline and went up for that shot, it was kind of almost eye level with me,” Doucette said. “It felt that way. Everything became slow-motion when he went up for that shot on the baseline. Took it in stride. Went up off his left leg. Perfect balance. Right hand fully extended. Ball on the fingertips. Launched that shot. And as he launched it, it just hit me. ‘That ball is coming out of the sky. That’s a skyhook.’ That’s how it happened. I never gave it any thought. But I had to be in a position where I was located that would inspire me to think that it would be coming out of the sky.”

The idea that the skyhook isn’t cool, then, never sat with me. The real issue is Abdul-Jabbar wasn’t considered cool, not the shot itself. The shot itself is a thing of beauty. As Oscar Robertson once said, ‘’It’s almost a ballet-type shot. There’s so much rhythm and balance in it. It’s almost like a pirouette.”

I’m more sympathetic to the idea that the skyhook isn’t as “macho,” to use Abdul-Jabbar’s words, as a slam dunk or a power move. The idea that one can perfect the skyhook if they just devoted enough attention to it cuts two ways. The shot may look beautiful, but a supremely athletic and strong dude might feel that he doesn’t need to resort to such tricks to do his thing.

This is the same phenomenon that explains why several all-time greats and peers were slow to accept Stephen Curry’s brilliance even as the masses quickly embraced him. His technique was impeccable, but his physical stature seemed ordinary. He didn’t look the part of a superhero. He was no giant.

Like Curry, Abdul-Jabbar’s signature move was to shoot over defenders, not shove them out of the way. But unlike Curry, Abdul-Jabbar did seem like a giant compared to everyone else. Perhaps it would have been more “macho” if he used that physical advantage to plow through his opponents rather than use finesse to succeed. Maybe that’s what O’Neal and others mean when they suggest the skyhook isn’t “cool.”

But if that’s how NBA players really define “cool,” consider me the opposite of Miles Davis. If NBA players could look this iconic shooting a hook shot, I think they’d all do it.

OVERALL: 9.3

Basketball is a technical sport, not a physical one. The best players look like artists and dancers, not boulders. Even Zion Williamson defies our imaginations because of his agility at his size, not because of his body type.

So let this be a call to give the skyhook more love. Instead of grumbling that nobody uses it anymore, let’s appreciate how lucky we were that Abdul-Jabbar made it look so flawless.