#eddie's been waiting for buck since the shooting and you know what im actually good to jump off that bridge yeah

[p4nishers]

"why did the will scene feel like a love confession tho" bc it was one!!! hope this helps!

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

I did not do this fast enough and now I cant find the emojis so im gonna try and do my best with remembering the fics you had:

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(That ending though. My heart was breaking and healing at the same time when Chris came in)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(OOOOH Im curious to see who is showing up and also learn more about Buck and Eddie's journey!)

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️(THEY ARE FINALLY MARRIED..in a great ceremony by the way!!!)

WOO! Let's do it!

30 for 🚨 (awww glad it resonated!!!!!!!!):

---

“I’m glad you’re catching yourself,” he says. 

Buck nods. Yes, that does feel significant. 

“Uh, I don’t know what you have in mind,” Buck says. “Or how difficult my past would make something like adoption. But if the question is, would I want that with you? The answer is yes.”

Eddie grins. “Really?”

“Really,” Buck smiles back. “That would be like… Like a dream, I guess.”

Eddie’s cheeks look a little rosy.

“Yeah, I, uh… I think so, too.”

iv.

It’s February and Eddie is looking at engagement rings. 

It’s not premature. He keeps telling himself that. As if someone is going to jump out of the woodwork and accuse him of exactly that. They won’t. Who fucking would? So he’s looking at engagement rings.  It’s been a year. A year since Eddie was buried alive and nearly drowned and kept swimming until Buck found him. A year since Buck held him while he pulled himself out of his own paralyzing terror at the thought of dying. A year since he changed his will. A year since they fell into bed together. Almost a year since they both declared their love. And Eddie is still so in love with him.

---

30 for 🧟 (answers to half of that this chapter!)

---

Eddie likes how light Buck seems. Like he floats where other people trudge. There’s a brightness to him, even among all the ruin. 

“Maybe things could be okay, though,” Buck says after a second. “Maybe we could all have good lives, you know?”

Eddie smiles, despite the corpse dragging themselves around outside his truck window. 

“Yeah,” he concedes. “Maybe.”

▪️▪️▪️

They make it to Shannon’s more easily than he would have expected. They don’t see anyone alive that isn’t zombified. No raiders or deranged lunatics. No danger beyond the obvious. Eddie imagines that there are people alive in Los Angeles. He imagines these millionaires and billionaires up in the hills, in those big celebrity compounds, could make an easy go of it. Well, he won’t disturb them. He just came for his family. 

They have to be careful getting out of the truck. The zombies may not be doing too well, but they still outnumber Eddie and Buck by a lot. 

“I’ve got your back,” Buck assures him. 

And maybe it’s because he was a firefighter, maybe it’s because he’s persuasive, or maybe it’s just because Eddie thinks he’s hot - regardless, he trusts him. They dismount from the truck, weapons loaded, safety off. Buck covers Eddie’s back, while Eddie mounts the stairs to the apartment’s entryway. 

Eddie tries not to let the fact that the apartment looks abandoned make him abandon hope. Sure, there are big cracks in the cement stairs up to the front door. And the glass door is shattered. Yes, what appears to be a disembodied remains of a foot sits off to the side in an overgrown garden. But surely, he didn’t actually think Shannon would be just sitting in the apartment waiting for him. No, he came here for clues. Clues to where Shannon might be. 

Buck keeps his gun aimed at a zombie across the road from them. It seems to be missing most of its leg and is laying, moaning, under a street sign. Maybe that’s where the foot is from. 

“If it gets closer, I’ll shoot it,” Buck says.

[the-one-eighteen]

Enjoy the Moment

(read on ao3)

Eddie didn’t have a plan.

He’d thought he’d had a plan.

In fact, he’d been damn set on that plan for the last week.

But, now that he was here? Yeah, he didn’t have a plan. And he was maybe, just maybe, starting to panic about that.

They were at Athena and Bobby’s house, celebrating the New Year (a week late, and long enough for everyone involved to dip in and out as shift’s allowed, ‘cause like hell any of them had the same evening off, let alone New Years), and everything was loud and warm and bright. Everyone was having a good time - happy laughter echoing across the yard every couple of moments, shouts of garbled conversation spurring on yet more laughter. There were kids running between the islands of adults, claiming the yard for themselves and having the times of their lives by the looks of things. For the adults, there was plenty of alcohol and friends and Eddie...Eddie honestly couldn’t remember the last time the lot of them had been this happy and bright.

Bobby and Athena were practically glowing - good hosts, happy in their comfort zone, entertaining and keeping order with terrifying skill. Hen and Karen were bouncing between corralling kids and diving in and out of conversations like the lovely whirlwinds they could be. Chimney was...actually, Eddie hadn’t seen Chimney in awhile.

He kind of wished Chimney had stolen Maddie along to wherever he’d disappeared to, because even though she seemed preoccupied talking with her coworker, who she’d introduced as Josh, she’d been shooting him looks all night - these heavy things that he could just about feel like an actual weight on his shoulders every single time. And, try as he might, he hadn’t been able to find a spot where she couldn’t see him.

And then there was Buck.

Bright, happy, lovely, painfully sweet Buck. He’d been bouncing between conversations most of the night, but without fail finding his way back to Eddie’s side consistently - even if it was just to steal a kiss or a drink, or to try and pull him into a conversation. Eddie felt kind of bad that he’d been more or less on the outs the entire night, but in his defense, he’d come in with a plan.

And then he’d taken one look at Buck after they’d finally made it to the back yard, golden hair lit up by the fairy lights strung across the back yard, eyes gleaming in the soft light, a smile directed back at him despite all their friends definitively in the other direction and Eddie had just...crumbled.

He’d had a plan.

He was going to wait for a quiet moment. Was going to steal Buck away from the crowd. Was going to drop to one knee - present the little box that had been weighing heavy in his thoughts and in his pockets for weeks now.

Was going to come back out, not just with Buck at his side, but with his fiance.

He’d had it all planned out. Had even gotten outside help with that plan.

He’d gone to talk to Maddie two weeks ago, right after the Christmas party, when Bobby and Athena had announced this party.

It hadn’t been that he’d wanted...permission or anything like that. But he’d definitely wanted...something. Some sort of validation, from the only other person who knew Buck so well. And apparently him too, because she’d opened the door, had taken one look at him, and just said Finally. Come in, let’s figure this out.

And yet, now, here he was. Sat at the picnic table, where he’d been sat for the last two hours, only vaguely flitting into any conversations that passed into his orbit and just as quickly going back to his own little world, keeping an eye on Buck and Chris, and definitively avoiding every look Maddie was giving him.

He knew she was just concerned at this point. But he couldn’t...he couldn’t even really explain what was going on to himself right now, let alone to someone else.

“So, you gonna tell me why you’ve been zoning out all night, or we gonna keep pretending everything’s fine?” Buck asks as he drops down on the bench next to him. He’s still smiling brilliantly, cheeks as red from the alcohol as they are from the laughter Eddie’s catching hearing snatches of, hair a fly away mess in a way it so rarely is. But there’s also a shine to his eyes that tells Eddie that as much fun as all of this is, they should probably be packing it in soon - Buck goes from excitable go go go very quickly to falling asleep against any available surface. Which, while endearing, can be a bit of a challenge when Eddie’s also trying to maneuver a half-asleep Chris like he will be tonight. Eddie’s pretty sure that as soon as that kid stops moving - running around where he is right now with Denny and Harry - he’s going to fall asleep.

“Hello? Earth to Diaz?” There’s a hand in front of his face, and Eddie blinks. Oh, right. Rolling his eyes, he catches Buck’s wrist with a huff, only to press a soft kiss into his palm to soothe the annoyance.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here. And everything is fine.”

Buck doesn’t try to take his hand back at least, but he is eyeing Eddie with a raised eyebrow, clearly not believing a word. Eddie raises an eyebrow right back.

There’s a long, quiet moment, where they’re both just staring at each other, and, god, whatever hit him when they first showed up - whatever smacked him upside the heart and sent him spiralling - is threatening to do the same thing again now. Just looking at Buck, here and now, haloed in hazy light, with the people around them fading into white noise, and all Eddie wants to do right now…

Actually, there’s nothing stopping him is there?

He knows he’s grinning. Can see Buck trying not to grin back as Eddie tugs on the wrist he still has a hold on, intentions clear. Buck resists for all of a moment before folding into Eddie’s space, lips meeting in the soft breath between them - sweet and sparkling, and Eddie could stay right here, in this moment, forever.

But, of course, they can’t actually, because, one, this isn’t their house, and two - “Dad! Buck!” Chris calls, and since it doesn’t sound distressed, it might take him and Buck a moment to separate. And when they do, they may take another moment to smile goofily at each other. Chris just groans, and Buck laughs, pressing his face into Eddie’s shoulder to hide it while Eddie actually bothers to look over, “Yeah buddy?” he asks around his own laugh.

Chris tries to answer, but it’s broken by a truly impressive yawn, which is a pretty good answer in and of itself. Eddie hums softly, teasingly shoving Buck away so he can stand and head over to Chris, who doesn’t even hesitate before holding his arms up. He’s getting to the age where displays like that are reserved for when he’s about dead on his feet, and Eddie cherishes every single one. He scoops Chris up easily, laughing as Chris immediately flops against him, “Guess it’s time to head home, huh?” he asks, for form’s sake. Chris mutters something in agreement, and a quick look around shows most of the younger kids are in a similar state. Most of the adults are starting to lag too, even as several of them make valiant efforts to keep things going.

Buck pops up next to him a moment later, smiling softly, “Here, lemme take ‘im to the car. You say goodnight to everyone? You need some social interaction tonight.” And Eddie knows a fight he’s going to lose, so he hands Chris over without argument, even if he can’t quite help rolling his eyes. The kiss Buck presses to his cheek makes it a little better though.

It doesn’t take too long to make the rounds - having the excuse of a sleepy kid that needs to get to bed makes things incredibly easy sometimes, honestly. The only one that holds him up is Maddie, which...yeah, he expected that.

“Everything okay?” She asks, hushed, after pulling him off to the side under the guise of chatting real quick.

Eddie laughs softly, awkwardly - can practically feel his anxiety from earlier bleeding into it, and can’t help but wince. “Yeah just...moment didn’t seem right..." The anxiety was eating at his insides, and he was more frustrated that he couldn’t put a name to it than anything. He knew Buck would say yes. They’d talked about their future plenty - talked about all the twists and turns they thought they could predict, and about the ones they couldn’t. They’d talked about a future in which they were married, and settled, and watching Chris grow up, while they did the same together.

He knew Buck would say yes.

And yet...

“Mm..." She reaches up to squeeze his arm gently, taking him back out of his head, “Don’t psych yourself out, Eddie. Find your moment.” And with that, she squeezes his arm one more time before stepping back towards the slowly dwindling crowd.

Find his moment.

He could do that.

---

The drive home is quiet after that, Buck’s fingers curled with his on the center console while he other hand’s on the wheel, the only real light being the street lights flashing over them at regular intervals.

They’re both tired, Chris is knocked out in the back seat, and Eddie just feels so...content. His night hadn’t gone to plan, sure, but talking with Maddie had helped him settle. Settle back down enough to enjoy the quiet, enjoy the weight of Buck’s hand in his, and the surety of that hold.

At a stoplight, he curled their fingers together tighter, raising their clasped hands up to press a kiss to Buck’s knuckles, delighting in the sleepy smile it got him.

“You seem more relaxed than you’ve been all night.” Buck murmurs, half an observation, half a gentle question.

Eddie hums, turning back to the road as the light turns green. “Yeah, just...figured something out is all.”

“Mm...care to share?”

“Nah...not yet.”

And Buck...Buck accepts that. Because of course he does - lets Eddie have this moment.

And what was left of that anxiety just melts away.

---

Getting Chris inside is a bit of an ordeal. Buck’s insisting he’s got him, but the kid’s all limbs even when he’s awake enough to help, let alone when he’s dead weight. But this is also something they’ve done hundreds of times by now, and outside of the soft cursing that generally came with trying to get a sleeping kid out of a car without waking him up, Buck does in fact have him, and Eddie just shakes his head and goes to unlock the door.

“Come on, you’re dead on your feet. Lemme take ‘im, you go get ready for bed,” Eddie murmurs, holding out his arms. And it’s a testament to just how tired Buck is that he only hesitates long enough to press a kiss to Chris’ curls before he hands him over.

“I might be asleep by the time you make it to bed,” he mumbles, leaning over to press a kiss to whatever part of Eddie he can reach as he passes by - his shoulder this time - and Eddie just laughs softly, heading after him down the hall.

Eddie gets Chris changed into pjs quickly with the efficiency of years of practice behind him, tucking Chris in within a couple minutes. Chris mutters and twists for all of a moment when he’s laid down, before practically melting back into that unique bonelessness that only kids seem to be able to manage. Eddie takes a long moment, just watching him breathe, taking in the soft moment as the gift it is, before leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead.

He shuts the door gently behind him, heading for their bedroom, his own tiredness finally catching up with him as his steps turn heavy as heavy as his eyelids. Pushing open their door, he can’t help but just...stop, in the doorway.

Buck’s stretched out on their bed, clearly having gotten as far as yanking off his shirt before just giving up and sprawling across the covers. He looks tired, and comfortable, and like he belongs in a way that makes Eddie’s heart ache.

He finds himself crossing to the bedside before he’s fully thought through what he’s doing.

Find your moment.

This seemed like a pretty good one.

Buck doesn’t seem to immediately notice that Eddie’s dropped to one knee next to the bed, instead pushing himself up onto one elbow to face him to say something, tired smile still in place. He freezes when he actually sees Eddie though.

“Eddie..." he breathes out, and seems to lose whatever else he was going to say, eyes wide and bright and so, so lovely in the low light of their bedroom lamp.

“You know, I had a whole speech planned, for when I was going to do this earlier,” Eddie laughs low, sheepishly. “All went right out my head about two seconds ago. So,” he takes a deep breath, waits for Buck’s brain to suddenly come back online as he scrambles to sit on the edge of the bed, smiles up at him, breathes out, “Evan Buckley, will you marry m-”

He doesn’t even get the chance to finish the question before Buck’s crashing into him, and they’re going down laughing in a tangle of limbs and clinging hangs and breathless laughter.

It takes a long couple of moments after that for them to get their bearings again - for them to stop breaking out in breathless giggles every time they so much as look at each other, and for their grips on each other to ease from clinging to holding to keeping close. They do manage though, with both of them ending up sitting on the floor, leaning back against the bed, breathless, and smiling so hard it hurts.

Buck’s leaning his head against Eddie’s shoulder by the time they get their breath back, and though Eddie knows the answer - he still kind of wants to hear it. He holds up the ring box again, leaning down to press his question into Buck’s hair, “So, what do you say?”

And Buck twists to press a laugh into his shoulder before leaning back enough to grin at Eddie, “Yes. About damn time, yes.” And then he’s holding out his hand, and Eddie knows his grin is goofy and lopsided, and he can’t find it in him to care as he pulls out the ring - a simple titanium ring with a thin rose gold band through the center - and slides it onto Buck’s finger. He knows he’s not the only one holding his breath the whole time.

God, it looks perfect on Buck’s hand.

“Where’s your phone?” Buck asks, and Eddie takes a long moment to actually process the question - both because he’s too caught up in the way the silver looks on Buck’s finger, and because the question’s muffled from where Buck’s staring at it too, his voice soft and almost...awed.

“Huh?”

“If I don’t tell Maddie right this second, she might actually kill me.” And Buck definitely doesn’t get why that makes Eddie bust out laughing, if the confused smile he shoots him is anything to go by, but instead of explaining, he just digs in his pocket for his phone.

It takes a couple tries to get a picture they like, if only because they’re back to breaking into giggles every time they look at each other, but they do get one. Eventually.

Eddie’s pressing a kiss to Buck’s cheek - he’d missed actually landing that kiss, because Buck had turned at the last second to laugh, his hands coming up to frame Eddie’s face, and the picture’s blurry and cuts off the top half of their faces.

But Buck’s smile is bright and the ring is clear, and that’s about as good as they’re going to get.

Eddie sends it to Maddie, knowing damn well that within five minutes it’ll be sent out to everyone else too. In self-defense, he shuts his phone off immediately after. Buck laughs at him - but Eddie notices he makes a grab for his phone to shut it off too.

There was going to be glorious hell to pay tomorrow, but, for now...for now he just wanted to enjoy the moment.