#ed edgar adopt-a-lot

[clochanamarch]

there definitely was a lot going on. back to school, autumn menus, the company moving into various and uncertain positions. edgar becoming an impromptu babysitter. she came home to fajitas sizzling on the stove and all the dishes washed and dried on the draining board. advik hasn't stopped asking about making uncle ed's hot chocolate again. but aisling chooses not to ask any questions yet. especially when victor insists that nothing happened beyond the architect adopting various domestic poses throughout the evening.

" no, no. i promise to be much more engaged from now on. you guys are my whole world, everything else can wait, hm? "

she means that. so much so that she puts away the memory of fiachra showing up in the alley, black marks twisting and growing more elaborate and intricate in his skin, terror and fury and desperation at home in his eyes as he demanded and begged her to fix it. wherever he fled to is probably close to where it all started. she can look for him tomorrow. today, it's all about khione.

her suggestion of maxville is a pure relief, then. somewhere she actually wants to go, rather than agrees to be taken to.

" that sounds fantastic! oh man, i could definitely go for some spring rolls right now; is it far from here? will we grab a coffee from that drive-thru place on the way? "

yes. perfect! this is exactly what they both need. a day out, away from the mess and into a place of ice arenas and spring rolls and familiarity for kie. she can already feel the relief as she joins a brief section of traffic, and reaches for her phone to request directions.

she shouldn't be giggling at that, but it's kind of hilarious. a tiny, old lady, shaking her tiny, old fist, in a poorly parked prius that's since been overtaken by aisling's own car. khione's gaze moves from the tiny, old lady and her tiny, old fist to the scenery whizzing by. "that's okay, that's okay, really, you have nothing to be sorry for. there was a lot going on."

from aisling's weird ex... something meticulously picking out dates to terrorize the family to the camera footage to trekking into new york to visit mei's flower store, to the nine cards aisling had tucked away in her pocket in favor of discussing that heatwave a month ago.

there is still a lot going on. eli and advik freeing all the animals from the zoo weeks ago. advik coming down with a fever shortly afterwards. the whole andy maguire thing at the party she went to last week.

not to mention her own issues.

even so, khione has always been a self sufficient girl. so long as she's got a place to sculpt and a place to skate and a routine to adhere to, she's golden.

(does it bother her that she's not clued in one hundred percent? yes. she's been here seven months now and she thinks she can be of use. but she knows exactly why aisling tries so hard to shield the kids from all of this. aisling is doing her best, khione sees that, and that's all that anyone can do. so she trusts aisling to clue her in if and when it's necessary. and if it takes too long? well, she'll just ask eli. or victor. or tim. or tina.)

we'll go wherever you want, we can talk and catch up! does that sound okay to you?

that sounds more than okay, actually! that sounds super.

"if that's the case," she turns her head so she can look at aisling, "would you want to see my old stomping ground? maxville isn't too far away. i could show you the ice arena and we could get spring rolls at the paper lantern, maybe?" a beat and then, sincerely: "unless there's a place you'd like to visit, then we can go there instead."

[artist-in-space]

Markiplier... Character/Cinematic... Universe... 

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[mojave-musing]

2, 4, 10, 16, 31, 35, and 41 for whoever you'd like!

Thank you Betty you are the best I’ll answer for Null as well as Edgar which is the first time I’m talking about him here!

2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect?

Null collects junk. They have a stash of scrap metal and electronics that they tinker with

Edgar picks up things camera related since he likes photography, he also just picks up weird ass shit he finds because he enjoys weird ass shit like pickled fingers

4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear?

Usually baggy clothes because they are small and nothing fits them. They also enjoy being shapeless one big baggy jackets. So cargo pants held up with rope, too big boots, too big jacket, bandana to cover their damaged eye and a hat.

Edgar is a wasteland plague doctor. He wears usually black or other dark colors, a duster, a plague doctor mask when out and about and a wide brimmed hat. (Edgar has vitiligo which he is self conscious about so that’s why he adopted the plague doctor aesthetic also cause his twin sister wore a mask and he started wearing one as solidarity with her)

10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC?

Hmmm maybe sloth for Null because they often find themselves inactive because they have no drive or feel like they have a purpose

Edgar is a tough one since I’m still feeling him out maybe gluttony ?

31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory?

For null most traumatic experience is basically the whole time at the big empty. Being examined and taken apart out back together again by the think tank sucked, being jumped by lobotomites it’s shitty.

Nulls favorite memory is when when they fixed ED-E. When the little robot whirred to life and started beeping (and null understood!!) gosh it just brought tears to null’s eyes.

Edgar’s most traumatic memory would be losing his parents. Favorite memory, probably when he got his sister to laugh for the first time after their parents died, he knew everything was going to be okay.

35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

Null’s day dreaming is thinking about how to repair different things. They don’t have much for memories since they are a synth whose memory was erased, but it’s hard to be worried about that.

Edgar has a fairly good imagination, if he took the time to sit down he could sit down and write a pretty good fictional story but he probably doesn’t have the patience to write it out. He tries to stay away from bad memories, and usually he worries about his sister.

41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?

Null doesn’t quite realize when they are mad, they grit their teeth and go quieter than usual. When they realize they are getting angry they walk away if they can, if they can’t they just stay there and not talk.

Edgar walks away and then avoids the person or thing making him mad.

[inkribbon796]

Whiskey and Exhaustion

\Summary: Ed doesn’t get paid enough for half of the things he does, from babysitting the younger enforcers that worked for Dark, to making sure Bim doesn’t expose all of them to the police. He’s contemplated asking Dark for a raise, or a vacation . . . Or both.

For Ed Edgar’s birthday.

When Ed was a kid he had grandiose plans of how his life was going to go. He’d of course wanted to be a cowboy, obviously. Living a rough and tumble life out in the middle of nowhere mostly on horseback.

A dream that had been more riddled with holes than Wil’s victims often were. Ed’s father had started working for Dark, in the exact same position that Ed now held in his stead. Ed’s first encounter with a horse revealed one thing: Ed had bad knees, even as a kid. It made getting on and off a horse hard for him. Along with the fact that his dreams of being a cowboy were filled with fantasies that his father quickly ruined for him.

So he was currently one Dark’s most experienced enforcers. There were only a handful of people still alive that had worked for Dark as long as he had. So he’d seen a lot of rough stuff, things that every once in a while kept him up at night with a glass of whiskey in one shaky hand and a cigar in the other. Tonight, Dark had given him free reign over the whiskey and bourbon in his liquor cabinet, a rare mercy from the person responsible for putting Edgar in this state.

Today, even on his birthday, it was one of those days.

Edgar was sitting in Dark’s office, Google and Dark’s personal assistant had been in the room for a little bit but they’d mercifully left Ed alone. Now he was the only one in the room.

The door opened and Ed tensed, last thing he needed was a drinking buddy.

“Hey, Ed,” Illinois walked in.

“Shit kid, thought yeh were in Brazil,” Ed looked up, still sober enough to notice the much deeper tan he had.

“I got a lift,” Illinois walked over to Dark’s liquor cabinet to grab a whiskey glass. “Mind if I join you?”

“Yes, tell yer ol’ man yah can drink at home,” Ed told him.

“Was it Dark or the Bookworm?” Illinois ignored him and checked the ice, starting to pour himself a drink.

“Where did Dark even find that kid?” Ed groaned. “He’s got balls ‘a ice.”

“Oh yeah,” Illinois agreed as he took his first few sips of his drink. “Guy’s a real piece of work, had to talk to him before I came in. Who got killed this time?”

“My assistant,” Ed told him. “She was creeped out by Dark’s new pet, and I think she had a crush on him.”

“Poor thing,” Illinois rolled his eyes. “Pretty sure the guy’s veins are ice too, but last I checked people don’t get set on fire for flirting poorly.”

“She was tryin’ ta pry inta Dark’s personal business an’ apparently found out about Celine in a way he didn’t like.”

“Yikes, the Ol’ Man’s gotta go public about her before he keeps digging that pit for himself,” Illinois groaned.

“Dark, quit digging pits fer ‘imself?” Ed scoffed. “What world have yeh been living in? Sounds like fun, can I join?”

That got a chuckle out of the young adventurer. He took two boxes out of his coat, one was square shaped, another was a flat box.

“Nice magic trick, did Dark teach yah?” Ed asked, clearly suspicious of the gifts.

“Maybe,” Illinois shrugged. “I picked up my own tricks here and there, had to since I was babysitting Artie and Yan all the time. I mean, I got adopted for a reason.”

“Yah got yerself picked cause Dark could tell even from day one that yah were going to follow ‘im around like a lost puppy. I mean kid, you practically grabbed onto his arm an’ refused ta let ‘im go. Even Kay thought yeh worshiped the ground he walked on.”

“That’s a bit much,” Illinois dismissed, tipping back the rest of the glass. “Probably when I was ten and didn’t know he had the disposition of quicksand.”

“Yeh can still jump out,” Ed warned, staring at Illinois who gave him a murderous glare.

“Just open the boxes, Ed,” Illinois warned. “I’m not going anywhere, you’re in one of my dads’ offices.”

“Fine,” Edgar sighed and took the larger box to pull out a case of four whiskey glasses with horses etched onto them.

He took one of the glasses out and examined it, “Huh, thanks.”

“Second one’s from Sierras, she wanted to know if you picked up any cute girls lately,” Illinois smiled.

“Why?” Ed chuckled to himself, “so she can steal my date and my bike?”

“Probably,” Illinois answered, a little bit of humor coming back into his voice.

Ed laughed as he pulled out a shirt that read: “I’ve got OLD BALLS, what’s your superpower?” It came with a card that read: “From one fabulous bitch to another.”

What surprised Ed was the shocking nice note inside, even if she did insult him several times. “Huh, she’s lost her mind.”

“You know the old saying,” Illinois shrugged, pouring himself another drink. “Distance makes the heart grow fond.”

“Yeah, I’ll believe that when she stops sending me brochures to old folks’ homes,” Ed warned. “I’m not even fifty.”

“Could’a fooled me with all those wrinkles and bags,” Illinois jabbed.

“Can it you,” Ed snapped goodnaturedly.

“The Old Man said you have the day off tomorrow,” Illinois said, standing up and taking his glass with him. “Try to sleep in.”

“What’s the occasion?” Ed whistled. “I get to drink an’ not walk in with a hangover tomorrow.”

“Take advantage of it while you can, I’ve got to be in bright and early tomorrow, found the Old Man’s face on a rock slab in Brazil, and he wants it translated out ASAP.”

“Shouldn’t he know what’s on it?” Ed asked.

That question got another noncommittal shrug, “Thanks again for the adoption.”

“Thanks for being one ‘a the only two brain cells yah Lost Ones had, made it easier,” Ed told him.

Illinois smiled and took off his fedora, blowing air on the bronze star pinned inside of the hat. Immediately a portal into Dark’s side of the Void ripped open to let Illinois through.

With a lazy, improper two finger salute, Illinois jumped backwards through the Void, leaving Edgar to his whiskey and the comforting silence of the room.

[iamvegorott]

Farm Life Ch. 7

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Talk To Me

“Hey.” Edgar greeted and cleared his throat. “Shocked you’re up.”

“I was going to say that to you.” Bim weakly chuckled, sitting down on the porch next to Edgar, seeing that there were two empty bottles on the ground. “I heard you moving around and I was curious to know what you were up to.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Edgar shrugged, taking another swig from the bottle of beer in his hand. “Want one?” He asked when he saw Bim eyeing the bottle.

“I shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m pretty stupid sober, I don’t think anyone could handle me drunk.” Bim rubbed his neck.

“You ain’t gonna get drunk from one beer. You’ve bulked up a little since coming here, you’ve earned it.” Edgar grabbed one of the bottles from the sixpack and handed it to Bim.

“I haven’t really bulked up.” Bim softly protested and took the bottle, yelping in pain when he tried to twist the top off and it scratched his palm.

“Your legs ain’t twigs, ya got some meat on your thighs.” Edgar took the bottle back and used the step they were sitting on to pop off the cap.

“Really?” Bim looked down at his legs, it might have only been a month of riding, but his thighs did feel a little thicker. He thought he was just imagining it.

“Can I ask you somethin’?” Edgar asked as Bim took the bottle once more.

“Yeah.” Bim nodded and took a drink from the bottle, face scrunching from the taste.

“What did that Matthias guy do?” Bim thickly swallowed at the question.

“He didn’t really do anything bad.” Bim chewed on his lip. “He was nice about it.”

“Nice about what?”

“He caught on.” Bim could feel his face flushing in embarrassment as Edgar just looked at him, waiting for clarification. “That I had a crush on him.”

“Oh.” Edgar helped himself to a mouthful of beer.

“It was a stupid crush that just happened. I’m over it.” Bim forced himself to take another swig. “I’ve been over it but Matthias didn’t catch that part and tried talking to me, doing the whole ‘I see you as a friend’ and ‘you’re a great guy and you’ll find someone’ bullshit that doesn’t mean shit!” Bim realized he had started to yell and he sniffed. “Sorry, it was just so...annoying.”

“I know that feeling.” Edgar put down his now empty bottle and got a new one.

“How?”

“I had a wife.” The air went silent and Bim could only look down and after taking another drink, he was shocked to find he already finished it.

“I didn’t know.” Bim blurted out.

“Most of y’all don’t.” Edgar shrugged. “It didn’t end well.”

“What do you mean?”

“She got pissed, took Suzy and left.” Edgar downed his beer in one go. Bim wasn’t sure what to say and he just placed down his empty bottle. “It’s a little more complicated than that,” Edgar said after taking a breath, grabbing the last two beers and giving one to Bim. “We met when we were young, would have been high school sweethearts if I went to high school.” Edgar helped Bim open his bottle again. “It started as a fairy tale, heads over heels in love and all that. We got married and it wasn’t long till Mary had a baby bump on her. I thought we were fine and then money trouble started happenin’. It was before I agreed to work with Dark and the others when I thought I could handle myself, my wife and my soon to be child on my own. I thought to myself that since I was the man of the house, I had to take care of it and if that wasn’t the dumbest mistake I had ever made.” Edgar looked out, seeing that Shelia was still playing around in the field.

“What did you do?” Bim asked.

“I started sellin’ kids,” Edgar answered honestly. “I was young, dumb, naive and I let these fuckin’ dirtbags convince me that it was the best thing to do. Sell these kids so I don’t have to sell my own.”

“Sell them?”

“I never asked what happened to them. I couldn’t know, I refused to know.” Edgar’s voice cracked a little. “I thought that if I was only the frontman, the one that smiled and walked them in, I wasn’t one of the bad ones. I just wanted what was best for my family. They needed food and I believed that it was just a weird way of adoptin’ out kids. Isn’t that adoptin’ is? When you adopt you have to pay, we were just cuttin’ out a lot of the trouble. We were getting rid of all of those middlemen.”

“So, she found out?” Bim could feel his heart hurting for Edgar.

“Yeah, she went through my emails. I can’t even get mad at her for doin’ that because I was the monster between us. She was just gettin’ worried about my late nights. She just wanted to know what I was up to and...well, she found out.”

“I’m...sorry.” Bim gently patted at Edgar’s back.

“Suzy was only one, I barely even knew her. The last time she saw her daddy was him gettin’ screamed at by her mama and then gettin’ hit. I deserved it but...it still stings every time I think of it.”

“Did you try talking to her? Explain what was happening?”

“What was there to explain, Bim? I sold babies, I literally sold babies to strangers to do whatever they wanted to them. Do you know how many nights I can’t sleep because that thought runs through my mind? I’m a grown-ass man and I find myself crying for them. I don’t cry and yet here I am.” Edgar scrubbed at his eyes with a closed hand. “I should have been smarter. I have a farm, I could have found a way to take care of us...but...I just…I couldn’t.”

“How did you end up with Dark and us?” Bim asked.

“He found me. It was only a week after Mary left and I was at a motel, drunk and screaming at the ice machine for cheatin’ me. I didn’t know what the hell he was. I thought he was the devil comin’ to make me pay for my sins but who would have known I would be workin’ for him and committing more sins by gettin’ rid of the men I used to sell to. What a way the world turns.” Edgar started to gather up the empty bottles, standing up. “And what about you, Bim? What got you in this mess of a business we’re in?”

“It’s not that fun of a story.”

“And mine is?” Edgar poked at Bim’s shoulder with the bottles. “I think there’s some ice cream hiding in the freezer. I can scoop us up some and you can tell me the Trimmer tale.”

“The Trimmer tale?” Bim chuckled and got up as well.

“Mine’s the Ed Fable if that makes you feel better.” Edgar laughed. “Shelia!” He called out and the dog came running. “You might wanna take a step to the side.” Bim didn’t question it and moved, almost getting hit by the speeding bullet that was Sheila.

“Does she get ice cream?” Bim asked in a teasing tone as the two went back into the house.

“Only if you wanna clean her shit.”

“Gross.”

“You asked.”

--------------------

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[juju-on-that-yeet]

It Takes a Village, Chapter 6/12

During a very busy morning at Ego Inc., Yandere ends up in the care of Ed Edgar. He knows better than to try selling him, but Yandere doesn’t have any way of knowing that...

Pls suspend your disbelief and pretend that babies are cognitively developed enough to have self-esteem issues while you read this ^^

Tags: @tired-eldritchhorror​ @peribloke​

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Read on AO3!

Enjoy!

~

Dr. Iplier didn’t set out to hand Yandere off to Ed Edgar one busy morning. In fact, he’d handed the baby off to Wilford, finding that Dark and Chrome weren’t available. But Wilford soon realized he couldn’t direct his show and watch Yandere at the same time, so he’d handed Yandere off to Bim. But Bim had as much studio work to do as Wilford, so he’d handed Yandere off to the Jims and told them to give Yandere to someone responsible. So the Jims handed Yandere off to Ed Edgar, reasoning that he knew a lot about babies, so he had to be responsible, right?

Now, Ed Edgar is a lot of things. He likes to think he’s a shrewd businessman, a good salesman, and a decent caretaker, even if the others like to think he’s a moronic hick. But whatever he is, Ed is not stupid. He knows by now that he can’t get away with selling Yandere, not after the trouble he got in for even suggesting it before. No, Yandere is not merchandise. Still, Ed doesn’t mind taking care of him. What’s one more baby in his nursery, anyway?

“You’re at a good age, ya know,” he says to Yandere as he takes him to one of the several communal playpens. “Not as helpless a newborn, but not quite as cranky as a toddler yet. This should be a breeze.” He places Yandere in the pen among nearly a dozen other babies the same age as him. “I’ll just make sure you get se–” At that, Ed’s watch starts to buzz.

“Wha?” Yandere asks, tilting his head and looking up at Ed.

“This watch is connected to my cameras,” Ed explains, pressing buttons, “Tells me if somethin’s goin’ on with the babies–” He huffs. “Dang nabbit, Susie Jane’s eatin’ glue again. I’ll be right back, go on an’ introduce yourself.” With that, he leaves.

Yandere is left sitting alone in the playpen, blinking in confusion. Over the past hour he’s been carried and rushed and swapped around to so many people and places, and now that he’s finally been left somewhere, he has no idea where he is. The other babies ignore him, already in pairs or playing alone, and annoyance creeps into Yandere’s mind. After all this mess, he’s stuck in a playpen that isn’t his surrounded by other kids he doesn’t know! At least he has his wooden blocks (which appear beside him nearly as soon as he thinks of them, much to his welcome relief). He tries to stack them, but soon ends up chewing on one as he continues wondering what he’s doing here.

“Hey.”

Yandere startles, looking around himself.

“Behind you, dummy.”

Yandere twists around to awkwardly look backwards, and sees another child, a few years older than himself.

“You dummy!” he yells, scooting himself in a half-circle to face this new child. She’s a girl, around four years old, with hair in two jet black pigtails and wearing a white dress with pattern of cherries all over it. She radiates confidence, hardly reacting to Yandere’s insult.

“Whatever, you’re just a baby,” she says, matter-of-factly. “What’s your name, Baby?”

“Ahn!” Yandere says.

“Anne?”

“No, Ahn!”

“...I’m calling you Baby.”

Yandere pouts and throws a block at the girl. Much to his annoyance, he misses.

“Stop it!” the girl yells, “If you do it again, I’m telling Mr. Edgar and he’s gonna take your blocks away!”

Yandere sets down the next block he was planning to throw with another, deeper pout.

“Meanie,” Yandere mutters.

“No, I’m Marie,” the girl replies, smug.

Yandere blinks, confused all over again.

“Anyway, what are you doing here?” Marie asks, “What happened to your mom and dad?”

That question puzzles Yandere even further.

“Dada helb beeple,” Yandere says, “He dog...do...”

“Doctor?”

“Yeah!”

“What about your mommy?”

Yandere shakes his head.

“No mama.”

“Me too,” Marie says, nodding as if she knew all along what Yandere would say. “Daddy said I’m too much work how and make him think of Mommy too much, so now I’m here.”

“Wha?” Yandere asks, now hopelessly confused. Marie rolls her eyes.

“Daddy gave me up,” Marie explains, still as confident as ever. “So Mr. Edgar took me here and now I live here. Your Dada gave you up, too, so now you’re here.”

“Wha!?” Yandere exclaims, suddenly panicked. “No! Dada lub me!!”

“Maybe he lied.” Marie shrugs. “My Daddy did. All of us got put here to get new parents.”

“No…” Yandere mumbles, but he’s already thinking about earlier, when Dr. Iplier handed him off to Wilford.

“Dark and Chrome aren’t around right now, can you take him? I have a six-car pile-up coming in and I can’t watch Yan and help them at the same time.”

Dr. Iplier is always saying things like that. Always handing him to someone or other. Yandere’s become fond of nighttime, because that’s when Dr. Iplier will read him stories and rock him to sleep, and soothe him if he wakes up before morning. He gets to stay firmly held in Dr. Iplier’s arms then, with no worry that he’ll be given away.

But…maybe Dr. Iplier doesn’t like nighttime as much as Yandere does. With how often he makes someone else take care of Yandere, maybe he doesn’t like it at all. Maybe he’s truly been given away, this time for good. Marie seems so sure of herself, so she must be telling the truth…right?

“Dada…gib way?” Yandere’s eyes are huge, filling with tears. He’s right on the edge of a crying fit, and only needs one more thing to set him off.

“Yeah.” Marie shrugs. “Don’t be sad, Baby. Mr. Edgar is weird but he’s nice. He’ll find you new parents. He’s already looking for mine.”

Well, that’ll do it.

Yandere wails, bawling as loud as he can manage. Other babies in the pen turn to look, a few start crying themselves. Marie covers her ears.

“Stop crying, Baby!!”

Somehow, Yandere cries louder. Tears and snot run down his face, and his cheeks turn red with emotion and exertion. His hands ball up into tiny fists to rub at his eyes, but it doesn’t do much. His whole body shudders from it.

It’s about that time that Ed Edgar comes running back.

“What in the blazes is going on here!?” Ed arrives at a pen full of babies ranging from annoyed to distraught…and Marie. “Marie, what in the world did you do this time??”

“I didn’t do anything!” Marie protests, shouting to be heard over Yandere’s wailing. “I just told him what he’s here for!!”

“Oh, fer cryin’ out loud,” Ed mutters to himself, before addressing Marie, “You cain’t just assume that every kid in here is gettin’ adopted! I’m only babysittin’ this one here!”

“Every other kid in here is getting adopted!” Marie insists, “Baby’s just weird!”

“His name’s Yandere,” Ed tells her, picking Yandere up, “You’ll get a talkin’ to later, missy, but first I gotta fix yer mess.”

Marie sticks out her tongue at Ed and darts away, and Yandere, still sobbing, starts to squirm in Ed’s hold.

“Hey, settle down there,” Ed says, trying to soothe.

“Noooo-o-o!!” Yandere bawls, fighting harder.

“Alright, alright, just–hey, ow! That’s my beard, ow–okay, I’m putting ya down before I drop ya–”

The instant Yandere’s on the ground, he dashes away, mostly crawling.

“Oh, for the love of–” Ed follows him away.

But Yandere is faster, and looking for somewhere to hide. He ends up darting under a cabinet against the wall, far enough back so that he can’t be grabbed and pulled back out. He sits there and curls into a ball, still weeping.

“Hey,” Ed pants, finally arriving. He gets on his hands and knees to peer under the cabinet at Yandere. “Hey, kid, come on out, come–oh man,” He pauses to gasp for breath. “I’m too old to keep chasin’ y’all like this…Come out, Yandere!”

“Noooo,” Yandere whimpers, shrinking back even further.

“Dang nabbit,” Ed sighs.

He already knows what he has to do, and he’s not looking forward to it.

~~~

Dr. Iplier was away from Yandere for one hour.

Dark was out of the building for two.

Yet, here they are, standing outside the nursery of a very embarrassed Ed Edgar, hearing about why Yandere is currently wailing so loud he can be heard from the hall.

“You left him alone??” Dr. Iplier asks Ed in disbelief. Dark turns to Dr. Iplier.

“And you left him with Ed??” he growls.

“Naw, he didn’t,” Ed says, “I got Yandere from the Jims.”

Dark’s form cracks, and Dr. Iplier looks like he’s about to crack, too.

“Woah, now hold on!” he shouts, “I didn’t give Yan to the Jims! I wouldn’t trust those two with a potted plant, let alone a baby! I gave him to–” He stops up short as he realizes. “Wilford.”

Dark’s form splits open for a brief moment, showing a silhouette of himself practically pulling his hair out in rage.

“I will speak to him about this,” he says icily.

“For what it’s worth,” Ed mumbles, “The Jims said they got Yandere from Bim.”

“So what, Wilford just decided to play hot potato with Yan?” Dr. Iplier sighs, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. “I knew I should’ve left him with someone else.”

“Hey!”

Everyone looks towards the door to the nursery, which has slightly opened, then down. It’s Marie, clearly grumpy. And who could blame her; Yandere’s howls are even louder now with the door open.

“Marie, get back inside!” Ed exclaims, “Cain’tcha see I’m busy!?”

“Are you guys gonna make Yandry or whatever stop crying already??” She crosses her arms. “He’s too loud!!”

“Watch how you speak to your elders, little girl,” Dark warns through grit teeth.

Marie’s eyes widen a little at his tone but she doesn’t back down, and Ed starts pushing her back inside.

“I should get in there,” Dr. Iplier says, “Hopefully I can get Yan to come out on his own.”

“I’ll deal with Wilford and Bim,” Dark says, “And if he’s not out by the time I return, I’m getting him out myself.” His aura writhes gently.

“I guess you’d have to…” Dr. Iplier admits, clearly not on board with that option.

Either way, Dark leaves, and Dr. Iplier follows Ed and Marie into the nursery.

He’s been here before to treat the children. Mostly it’s fevers that get too high and enough ear infections for a whole pediatrics department, but occasionally a kid will fall off a play structure and need a cast or stitches. Though Dr. Iplier doesn’t like thinking about Ed’s business, he has to admit that the nursery is big and clean and that the children always seem well enough cared for. Right now, though, most of the kids are clearly unhappy, presumably due to Yandere’s disruptive crying, which gets louder and louder the further into the nursery they go. Finally, they reach an oak cabinet and Ed points beneath it.

“That’s where he is,” he says, wincing and rubbing his ear with one hand, “If you couldn’t tell.”

Marie stands off to the side, clearly curious about Dr. Iplier and what he’s going to do, as Dr. Iplier gets down on all fours to look at Yandere. His hearts twists at the sight of his boy curled up in a trembling, weeping ball.

“Yan? Sweetheart?” Dr. Iplier says, making his voice as gentle as possible. Yandere hears him and immediately looks up, sniffling.

“Dada?”

“Yeah, Yan, Dada’s here.” He gives a soft smile and reaches out a hand. “Come on out, sweetheart, it’s alright.”

“No!” Yandere tightens into a ball again, trying to scoot further back into the wall. “Dada gib way!”

“Give…oh, honey,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, heart breaking all over again. Ed had told him and Dark about what he suspected one of the other kids had told Yandere, but Dr. Iplier hadn’t expected him to take it to heart.

“Dada no lub me,” Yandere whimpers into his arms.

“No, Yan, that’s not true!” Dr. Iplier insists, “Of course I love you, I love you so much. You’re my son and I’ll always love you no matter what.”

Yandere looks up again, eyes huge and teary.

“No wan’ new Dada,” he sniffles, “Wan’ Dada.”

Dr. Iplier can’t hold back a gasp.

“I know, baby,” he murmurs, choked up, “You’re not getting a new Dada. I’m your Dada, I’m right here.”

“I knew his name was Baby,” Marie whispers.

“You hush,” Ed whispers back.

“Dada gib way,” Yandere whimpers.

“Sweetheart…” Dr. Iplier takes a steadying breath. “I know I did. I know I do. I want to be your Dada but I want to be a doctor, too, and I thought…I thought I was doing both. I didn’t know it would upset you so much to keep passing you along, but I should’ve known, and I’m sorry.” A sparkle of hope appears in Yandere’s eyes. “From now on, I…I’ll close the clinic to humans. So I’ll be taking care of the other egos but I’ll be taking care of you, too. I promise I’ll take better care of you.” He reaches out a hand again. “Please come out.”

Yandere looks at Dr. Iplier’s hand, then his face, and his eyes widen with alarm.

“Dada sad?” he asks, starting to uncurl and peer intently at Dr. Iplier’s face.

That’s when Dr. Iplier realizes there’s a few tears streaking down his cheeks.

“Yes, I guess I am,” Dr. Iplier admits, chucking a little as he wipes his face. “I’m sad because you’re sad.”

“No sad!” Yandere exclaims, crawling to Dr. Iplier’s outstretched hand. Though tears are still wet on his face and he’s done completely done crying yet, he grabs Dr. Iplier’s hand with both of his own and squeezes. “No sad, Dada. I lub you.”

Dr. Iplier beams, trying not to cry even harder.

“I love you, too,” he murmurs.

He puts his other arm around Yandere and pulls him out from under the cabinet, holding him to his chest as he stands up again. Yandere doesn’t protest, instead leaning into the embrace and resting his cheek on Dr. Iplier’s shoulder. Dr. Iplier hums softly, stroking Yandere’s hair and swaying back and forth to soothe the last of the tears away–Yandere’s tears, and his own, too.

After several long moments of quiet, a shout pierces the air.

“That’s not fair!!” Marie yells, stomping her foot. Tears poke out from the corners of her eyes. “How come his daddy wants him back and mine doesn’t!?”

Dr. Iplier’s jaw drops. He suddenly realizes that this little girl was the one who told Yandere that he’d been given up, and he suddenly realizes why.

“Oh, no…” he murmurs, ready to start comforting her.

But Ed beats him to it.

“Marie,” he says, kneeling down to her eye-level. She turns away in anger. “Look at me, little miss.”

“It’s not fair!” she yells again, “I want Daddy!!”

“Do you?” Ed asks, voice even and patient. “You remember what he said when he brought ya to me?”

Marie hesitates, then turns to face Ed again. She nods, tears starting to fall.

“He wasn’t very kind, now was he?”

“No…”

“Yer daddy is a lazy, no-good, son of a gun. Plenty’a daddies don’t give their kids away if somethin’ happens to the mommy. Yer daddy’s a coward, and you deserve a better one. That’s why you’re here, ain’t it?” He gently pinches Marie’s tear-stained cheek. “Ain’t no one gonna adopt ya if yer cryin’ and carryin’ on,” he chides, but there’s a note of teasing in his voice and the slightest smile on his lips.

Marie giggles despite herself and playfully pushes Ed’s hand away before wiping her tears.

“I know all that stuff,” Marie sniffles, “I still miss him, though.”

“Course ya do, he’s the only daddy you’ve had,” Ed replies, “But someday you’ll have a new daddy who treats you like the belle of the ball.”

Marie nods and smiles shyly.

“You alright now?”

“Yeah…” Marie looks at her hands, fidgets a little.

“Oh, fine, c’mere,” Ed sighs, faking exasperation as he opens his arms. Marie steps forward and throws her arms around his neck, and Ed wraps his arms around her in turn.

“Thanks, Mr. Edgar,” Marie whispers.

“Don’t mention it, sugar,” Ed replies, giving her forehead a quick peck as he pulls away. “You run along now, little miss.”

Marie grins, kisses Ed on the nose, and runs away laughing before Ed can react. Ed’s cheeks turn red as he pulls his hat down, covering his face.

“She’s quite a character, isn’t she?” Dr. Iplier says, both touched and amused.

“You betcha,” Ed answers as he stands. He lifts his hat as his blush recedes, smiling softly. “I’ve got half a mind to adopt that girl myself.”

“You should,” Dr. Iplier says, sparing a fond glance to Yandere, now asleep in his arms after the morning’s excitement. He pauses, thinking. “I guess I never realized you actually…I mean, with these kids…”

“What, that I care about ‘em?” Ed asks, “That I don’t just use ‘em for money?” He laughs a little. “S’alright, I don’t mind. It used to be like that, at first. S’how I screwed stuff up with my son. But then, well, that happened…”

Dr. Iplier nods, looking down. He hates to think of that time as much as any of the Cyndago egos do, even if he’s not one himself.

“…an’ I said to myself, the hell am I doin’?” Ed continues with a sigh. “I remember what my video was for, how it was meant to make people wanna help kids, and here I am, doin’ all this shady stuff to make money off ‘em.” He grimaces at the memory. “I just decided I didn’t wanna be that man no more. But, to be frank with ya, I’m thinkin’ it’s easier if the others don’t know I’ve changed. King and Silver know already, s’why we’re friends, but they ain’t tellin’ nobody.” His expression turns serious. “There’s too many wackos around here, and the less they want to do with me, the further they stay away from my kids. An’ if the head honcho back there thinks I don’t give a rat’s ass ‘bout ‘em, he ain’t gonna try to use ‘em against me.”

Dr. Iplier remembers how Ed spoke of Marie when he explained the situation to him and Dark earlier. How he’d seemed so annoyed with her yet so flippant about her, how he’d never even mentioned her name. If Dark had known that she was the one who upset Yandere when she opened the door and made a fuss, Dark would’ve done much worse than scold her. What Dr. Iplier had mistaken for embarrassment and anger as Ed pushed Marie back inside was probably fear. But he’d hidden it so well to keep her safe.

“That’s smart of you,” Dr. Iplier admits, “I never would’ve guessed. I’ve underestimated you, Ed.”

“Aw shucks,” Ed chuckles, “No need to lay on the compliments, Doc. Jus’ keep all this between us, ya hear?”

“Of course,” Dr. Iplier promises. He sighs. “What a day already, huh? I’m gonna take Yan back to the clinic with me.”

“You got that right.” Ed tips his hat. “See ya ‘round, Doc.”

“See you, Ed.”

When Dr. Iplier leaves the nursery, closing the door behind him, Dark is already back.

“Oh, hey,” Dr. Iplier says, “How long have you been waiting?”

“Only a few moments,” Dark says. “I assumed Yandere was alright since I could no longer hear his crying.” He looks down at Yandere, still sleeping soundly in Dr. Iplier’s arms. “He is alright, I presume?”

“Yep,” Dr. Iplier answers, looking at Yandere as well and stroking his hair, “I’ve decided I’m going to stop treating humans until he goes back to normal. I hate to turn people away, but…I don’t ever want to hear him cry like that again.”

Dark nods, reaching out a hand to Yandere. He runs a finger down his cheek, making Yandere stir a little and smile in his sleep. Dark can’t help but smile gently in turn.

“So…” Dr. Iplier begins, “…Are Wilford and Bim still alive?”

“Of course,” Dark answers, his smile turning sharp, “They won’t die in my void unless I will it. I imagine they’ll be wishing for it by the time I let them out.”

Dr. Iplier shudders. Yes, Ed definitely has the right idea. Dr. Iplier looks down at Yandere again, watches him sleep with Dark’s finger still gentle on his cheek, and is suddenly very, very grateful that his son is in Dark’s good graces.

[chelseareferenced]

How Alice reacts to the other egos.

Tagged by: @raimeyl

Alice doesn't really trust Google all that much. The whole destroying mankind thing puts a damper on any possible friendship

Bing on the other hand. Alice likes Bing, he makes her laugh and even tries to help get up to date with all the stuff she's missed, although he does crash occasionally.

Bim, Alice doesn't like Bim. The active canibalism scares her and she just avoids him

She hasn't met Santa but is convinced it's what happens when Will gets drunk in eggnog.

She actually gets along with Iplier, the death omens at random times and places make her chuckle and sometimes they just sit in the corner and watch all the chaos going on around them.

Alice hasn't really interacted with Randall so she doesn't have much to say about him.

Eric. Her baby. Anyone who tries to hurt him gets a face full of Purple. Very maturnal around him.

Has tried to kill Derek on multiple occasions. She hates his guts.

She considers Host to be one of her closest friends, she loves to read and Host likes to have someone around that he doesn't have to narrate all the time. They prank the other egos quite a lot.

Silver Shepherd, she kinda feels sorry for the guy, constantly being pushed aside and ignored so she leaves little notes and snacks for him.

Ed Edgar, she has also tried to kill. What sick twisted man sells babies and his own son?

Alice tried to help Yan by explaining that maybe her senpai doesn't feel the same way but almost got stabbed so she just leaves her be.

Alice's reaction to King was something similar to "I have only had King for a day but if anything happens to him I would kill everyone and then myself"

Now if there are any egos Alice can truly relax around it's the Jims. Who basically adopt her, she's Mirror Jim. And is invited to family gatherings.

Harold physically exhausted by Harold and often had to stop everyone killing him, and he kinda followed her around like a baby duck. But she was concerned when he vanished.

Bit like with Lenore, Dark and Will are complicated.

She really wants to mend her relationship with Dark, she knows what he's went through but the same nightmare plagues her mind and she's stuck in the mirror again. Doesn't mean she won't sleep with him given the chance though.

Alice adores Will. If anyone can understand where she's coming from it's ol' Warfy. They dance together and when Dark is in a mood he keeps her safe from his temper. In return, Alice is there for him whenever he has a spiral or a nightmare.

They have slept together on multiple occasions.

And Mark... She likes to hang out with him from time to time but sometimes she just wants to punch him and scream at him

----------------

This is basic Alice, not All Eyes On Me Alice, who's reactions I can't give away because spoilers

[septic-dr-schneep]

This might be a lot to ask, but could you explain everybody's backstories. Like, the most that I know is that Dark is a combination of somebody that died + two other people. I don't really know how any of them came to be. I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND. MY MUTUALS WHO'RE IN BOTH FANDOMS ARE FREAKING OUT EVERY TIME SOMETHING HAPPENS WITH MARK'S EGOS AND I UNDERSTAND NOTHING PLS HELP.

OH BOY. Okay, here I go. *cracks knuckles* Prepare for a huge data dump.

Darkiplier: Combination of Mayor Damien and his older sister, Celine the Seer, who dabbled in dark magic. They were killed by Celine’s ex-husband, Mark from another universe, who was possessed by a Demon living in his house. The Demon, Damien, and Celine decided to possess the body of the District Attorney (the viewer) and become Darkiplier to get revenge on the Mark we know.

Wilford Warfstache: Formerly known as the Colonel. He was in love with Celine and stole her from Mark, driving Mark to kill himself, but the Demon in the house possessed Mark and brought him back to life over and over, no matter how many times he tried to die. The Colonel killed Mark one more time, but Mark/The Demon came back again and killed Celine and Damien, the Colonel’s only friends. 

In the chaos, the Colonel accidentally shot the District Attorney. He was grieving over their body for hours and then when the DA’s body was possessed and got back up – having now become Dark – the Colonel went completely insane. He began believing that nobody could actually die. It’s just a joke, which is why Wilford kills people so flippantly. He thinks it’s all a game. 

King of the Squirrels: He is the King of the Squirrels. That’s it. He rubs peanut butter on his face for the squirrels to eat and runs wildly through the woods with his subjects. 

The Author/The Host: The Author was a sadistic man who could write anything into reality. He liked to torture his characters for the sake of a good story but two of his characters rebelled and shot him, leaving him for dead. Later on, we see the Host, a radio showman who lost his eyes, never stops bleeding and always narrates what’s happening around him in the third person. He’s also a reality warper. We imagine he used to be the Author and has expanded his powers and reinvented himself.

Dr. Iplier: A doctor with no good news to give you and a serious lack of a bedside manner! To let you know just how bad it is, he tells his patient that his girlfriend cheated on him, his dog got run over, his parents are kicking him out of the house and then, during their conversation, his parents died. His catchphrase is, fittingly, “I’m sorry…you’re dying.”

Silver Shepherd: A clumsy superhero who’s doing his best to protect the city. He has a loving relationship with his girlfriend, Roxanne, but hears a rumor that she’s cheating on him. He’s devastated, so he and his sidekick Ibis go to find out if it’s really true. In fact, the man Roxy is supposedly “cheating with” is Silver Shepherd’s secret identity self, so there’s nothing to worry about!

Googleplier: An android whose primary objective is to answer questions as quickly as possible. Secondary objective is to destroy mankind. He’s a prototype who’s meant to serve but is in fact starting to rebel against his programming. He was shipped to Mark’s friend, Matthias, and does his best to resist following Matthias’ orders. If Matthias gives him Admin permissions, he’ll be able to kill him. Later on, we see Google getting an upgrade, which allows him to clone himself with Google Green, Google Red, and Google Yellow as backup.

Bim Trimmer: A gameshow host who’s all about being classy! His gameshow helps people win their dream jobs – if they can survive the show. He’s infatuated with Matthias, though, and since Matthias is competing on the show, he rigs the game so Matthias will win. Along the way, he kills one of the other contestants and serves him to the others as meat patties. Bim may or may not be a cannibal.

Ed Edgar: Ed Ednarb Eddeth Edgar is a cowboy who owns a baby adoption agency, Ed Edgar Adoptallot’s Baby Bulk Buy. We see him in a commercial for his adoption agency, where he promotes babies of all different kinds – pocket-sized babies, android babies, babies with laser-eyes, etc. He even offers to sell his own son for the cause, but his son doesn’t sell well, so he keeps him. 

Yandereplier: A schoolboy in a skirt who’s in love with his Senpai. He’ll do anything to gain his Senpai’s love, even if it means murdering their classmates or summoning demons to get the competition out of the way. He’s very cutesy and girly – until you make him mad. Then you’re likely to be impaled on a katana. 

The Jim Twins: Reporter Jim and Cameraman Jim are reporters who covered the news story of Who Killed Markiplier. Reporter Jim is the only one who speaks, since Cameraman Jim is never seen. They are…nonsensical. They have a huge family, all of whom are named Jim, even the girls. We are Jim. They are Jim. Everyone is Jim. The twins are also demon hunters. Reporter Jim got possessed at one point during the hunt. They also have cousins, Newscaster Jim and Weatherman Jim, who can be seen on Markiplier TV.

Bingiplier: A second android who is meant to be hip with the kids and mocks Google for being the older model. He skateboards, wears sunglasses and a tank top, and tries to be cool. Google despises him. The more Bing mocks him, the more Google hates him, until Google gangs up on him with his clones (see above). Bing panics and tries to create his own to help him, but can only manage one small clone (Tiny Bing). We don’t know if they survived or not.

Derek Derekson: A self-centered guy who promotes Markiplier merch. He doesn’t treat his son very well.

Eric Derekson: Derek’s last surviving son; he and his brothers got into a bus accident and he was the only survivor. He’s a double amputee below the knees, he has severe anxiety, and all he wants is to make his father proud. It isn’t easy.

Yancy: The leader of a prison gang who has a passion for singing and boxing. He murdered his parents but since regrets his actions and intends to live out his full sentence, even if he already knows all the routes to escape and could get out on good behavior. After helping the viewer escape the prison, in the good ending, he encourages them to come back and visit him every third Sunday.

Illinois: An adventurer, not to be confused with Indiana, who brings the viewer along on his quest to return an enchanted monkey idol to its rightful place in its cave. He’s flirtatious and suave and breezes his way through traps, though unfortunately his past assistants couldn’t keep up and were lost in various accidents. In the good ending, he makes the viewer rich, and there’s a possibility that they can join him on his next adventure.

Captain Magnum: A sea captain who comes to adopt the viewer as a part of his crew and perhaps even considers them his child. He is also a double amputee and has logs as prosthetic legs; he’s very tall. In the good ending, they help him discover that true treasure isn’t about the gold but the friendships and family bonds they find along the way. They stay with him and the crew and live happily ever after, sailing and swashbuckling.

[miyoki-kun]

more daycare au stuff

--bing brings his fully charged nintendo ds and switch to play on. he doesn't play with blocks or dress up with the other kid egos, he just lets yan and king watch as he plays Undertale and Super Mario Odyssey

--yan picks a new ego to be her boyfriend every week. she crawls towards them during naptime, holds their hand, and says, "you're my boyfriend now." so far, she's done it to jackieboy, chase, google, goop, marvin, and especially king.

--chase has a kid friendly camera he uses to make playground vlogs. its really just footage of him, jackie, silver, and ed edgar playing tag. he hums his own outro.

--robbie hangs around with schneep a lot. holding his hand and following behind, sucking his thumb as he trots along. letting schneep play doctor, "im gonna listen to your heartbeat!!" and listens to his forehead. chase swoops robbie away when schneep wants to try playing surgeon though.

--marvin wears a cape his mom and dad knitted him, blue and black with a glittery inner cape. he wooshes it around and refuses to take it off. he uses it and the mask his dad made him to preform magic shows. using jackie as his assistant, making him disappear and preforming magic tricks. he wants to be as magic as his parents are in his eyes.

--anti likes to sneak into the nursery where baby eric and baby jj are in. making loud noises, shaking the playpen they're staying in, stealing their toys. baby eric sobs and holds onto his yellow blankie while baby jj tries to stand up and hit anti away.

--caregiver mark and jack have to sing lullabies to the babies just to get them to sleep. its not unusual to see baby eric and baby jj holding hands in their sleep.

--yan likes to kiss other kid egos on the cheek so they can cry and whine that they have icky cooties now. laughing at them when nobody will touch the ego she kissed. little dr iplier has to treat them for the cooties, usually by wiping their cheek and giving them "pills" aka red and green M&Ms to eat.

--caregiver mark is in charge of making the snacks and lunch, and getting the kids to go to sleep at nap time. caregiver jack is in charge of lending out books or dress up costumes to the kids, getting the kids to wake up, and making sure someone picks up the kids.

--anti is always the last to be picked up, near hours later. his foster mom shrugging off as jack and mark ask her to please pick up anti when he's suppose to be picked up.

one day, its been 3 hours and still no mom in sight. jack tries passing time by playing games with anti, mark tries to cheer him up by making him a chocolate ice cream cone. anti breaking down when he notices its 8 pm, telling mark and jack his mom told him to just walk him, but he's scared of the dark and its too cold outside.

jack and mark just hold him as he sniffles and asks if he can just stay forever here with them, "i can sleep in the nap time corner, and...and take baths in the big bathroom, i can...eat whatever mister mark makes and mister jack can leave the nightlight on for me!"

long story short though, after finding out the woman anti was staying with was simply temporary, jack immediately swoops in to adopt the poor little neglected kiddo.

[hclved]

and because bullet point rapidfire notes are how i do my headcanons around here, a quick talk about adair’s family:

adair is in a polyamorous marriage with clara (usually who he’s talking about when he refers to his fiancee in revolution-era threads, the love of both adair’s life and mine) and magni (certified ninja furry twink)

they have three children: edgar laurent, his and clara’s oldest (he’s named for clara’s father & grandfather) ; he’s kind of the total opposite of his dad and takes after his uncle a lot more, a more quiet, soft-spoken kid who prefers his studies to Action

pluto, magni’s adoptive son (his cousin’s child by birth but raised by him as the next leader of the shadow walker clan) ; a playful kid and actual evil mastermind when it comes to pranks

and lucia (an iurian name meaning “light” and, let’s be honest here, probably adair’s favorite), younger than ed by three years and pluto by only a few months ; the spitting image of her dad, would fight anything that moves including you if you talk down to her for being a girl. also the sibling who undoubtedly gets along best with elpis (ad’s dragon)

[artist-in-space]

Meeting the Ipliers

When you get transported to the world of where all the Ipliers of the Universe meet and you meet the Ultimate

(for @etc-please​! I’m sorry I had to repost, my browser/laptop was freezing so bad it was getting scary so I don’t know if I’m doing this right. But I hope you like it!)

[nickireadstfc]

The Raven King, Chapter 14 – A Few Cheerful ‘Hell Yeah‘s, Followed By A Swift ’Hell Fucking Nope’

In which I am too invested in Orange Cheerleading, Neil is an Oblivious Gay™, the Foxy Team Spirit gains bonus XP, we meet the awesomeness that is Fearless Neil Josten and everything goes so pleasantly well that I really should have seen the bone-chilling fuckery at the end coming.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.

I am prefacing this by saying that this is probably my second favourite chapter of this book so far. It may even be on a par with my previous favourite chapter, the Neil Sassing Riko To Hell And Back At The Fall Banquet chapter.

There is GOOD SHIT HAPPENING!! Finally!! And when the bad shit happens it’s still SASSY!! And AWESOME!! And then it’s fucking terrifying but like – what else is new.

I really, really liked this one. And I feel like I’m going to need that bit of love for the next two chapters, which are promising to be 50 Shades of Fucked Up.

Let’s go.

           “When Andrew finds out you’ve stolen his car,” Matt started, but left the rest of the threat unspoken.

           “Andrew knows,” Neil said. “He left me his key.”

           Matt stared at him, startled. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

Homeboy can’t believe it I am HOLLERING.

The Foxes slowly realizing that Neil is starting to get through Andrew’s shell is such, such a delight.

Neil being entirely oblivious about it is an even greater one.

Also, Matt is going to start teaching Neil how to fight! Yay for self-defense! <3

Now that Katelyn is kind of not a secret anymore, she starts hanging around with the Foxes, apparently. Will I start liking this character, finally?

           Katelyn seemed nervous at first, but she warmed up quickly and chatted almost nonstop through dinner. She was so enthusiastic about apparently everything in the world it was a little exhausting listening to her, but Aaron looked so alive in her presence Neil couldn’t hold it against her.

FUCK YES I WILL.

This is such a small detail, but I actually had to put the book down at that part and just silently contemplate life for a bit because honestly – few sentences have described me as well as “She was so enthusiastic about apparently everything in the world it was a little exhausting listening to her.”

I feel this so much, you have no idea.

Of course, that means I have adopted this character now, she’s in my heart and there are no take-backs. <3

Being newly invested in Katelyn also means being newly invested in Orange Cheerleading, and this is the point where all the info I have soaked up via my cheer-loving best friends really comes in handy.

This is a very good visual for what the Vixens would look like at a Fox game – the squad in the video is Clemson University which is TFC is based on!

And this is Clemson’s cheer championship routine from last year, which is infinitely more awesome than a game routine because it’s made for their own championship, not for someone else’s game, and it really shows off what a team can do.

Keep in mind though that this team is co-ed (meaning both men and women), and as far as we know the Vixens are an all-girl team, which means they’d have considerably less partner stunts (one person on one person) and more group stunts (one person on four, three or two people).

Also, this is their uniform and now one can tell me otherwise.

Brb making an orange bow to wear to our next cheer event.

Info dump done! Let’s move on!

           “We should celebrate,” [Dan said.] (…)

           Aaron looked at [her] as if she’d grown three heads. “We don’t socialize with you.”

           “You do tonight,” Matt said. “Tell Katelyn to come. (…) The Vixens can come too.”

HELL FUCKIN YEAH, BONUS XP FOR THE FOXY TEAM SPIRIT.

I am so for all of them having fun party times together that a) don’t involve going to Eden’s Twilight and b) involve all of them.

Also, I am so, so for the Foxes and the Vixens finally being friends.

Seriously, there are few things as shitty as ignoring the people who cheer on you every night no matter how bad you are, and I can’t believe we’ve never addressed this until now.

BE NICE TO YOUR CHEERLEADERS, FUCKERS.

           “Thanks for taking one for the team, Neil,” [Nicky said.] “You’re a real friend.” (…)

           “Are we?”, he asked. (…) Tonight it almost meant something, though what, Neil didn’t know. “Friends?”

Oh my goooooooooooood literally HOW.

“It almost meant something” I am going to punch this idiot so hard his angst will finally come shooting out of his oblivious ass.

           “You’re going to be the absolute death of me,” Nicky said. “Yeah, kid. We’re friends. You’re stuck with us, like it or not.”

Nicky, my man, my sunshine, thank you for finally saying this to Sir Angstlord McDramatic, also I’m crying a lil.

I was already so happy about that scene, I thought we were done with our quota of good things for this chapter, but no – Thanksgiving happens somewhere along the way, and it’s not The Thanksgiving That Shall Not Be Named, but Happy And Sappy Abby Thanskgiving, where the food and the feels are plentiful.

           “It’s not really about the food. It’s about family. Not necessarily the one we were born with, but the one we chose. This one,” Nicky emphasized, gesturing between them. “The people we trust to be part of our lives. The people we care about.”

           “I’m trying to eat here,” Wymack said.

Wymack <3

Also, NICKY <333333333333

Brb, crying a lot.

Kevin later offers to not drink wine after dinner so Neil can have some, which neil declines, but which still makes me grin like a sappy motherfucker because Kevin offered to do something nice for Neil.

I feel like I’m in a happy fanservice episode of an anime. Is this real, am I witnessing this shit with my own two eyes?

           Somehow [the Foxes] all ended up at the dining hall at the same time. (…) On Tuesday Katelyn tagged along, and on Wednesday they went downtown together as a large group: all eight remaining Foxes and four of the Vixens.

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

At the restaurant, this girl Marissa starts hounding Neil, and absolute hilarity ensues as Neil tries to not talk to her or at least talk to her about Exy, and she wants to talk about everything but Exy.

Absolute lack of chemistry nonwithstanding, she still chats him up after dinner:

           “I can give you my number,” Marissa said.

           Neil didn’t remember asking for it at any point that night. “What for?”

How is this boy real. HOW.

           “I would like to get to know you better. I think we could have a lot of fun together, just the two of us. You’re very interesting, Neil.”

           She wasn’t the first to say that, but Neil wondered if Andrew’s opinion of him would change when he was off his medication.

OH MY GOD.

I AM HOWLING.

Neil: gets blatantly obviously hit on by pretty girl Neil:…………………….. Neil: hmm I wonder what Andrew would think about this

Honestly………………. This is the most I C O N I C Andreil scene to this point, and 50% of Andreil aren’t even present.

           “There’s a way to let girls down gently, you know.” (…)

           “Do girls need kid-glove treatment? I thought they were tougher than that.”

           Dan’s grin was approving. “Most of us are. Some of us are like boys, though, and have delicate egos.”

Shoutout to Dan for coming around to remind me how much of a flawless sass queen she is whenever I dare to forget it.

Also: Renee is going to be Neil’s platonic winter banquet date! Dan and Matt are getting each other cute shit for Christmas! Matt invited Neil and the cousins to his home over Christmas!

I am currently bathing in a golden pool of my own happy tears, please leave me here for all eternity and supply food occasionally.

However, if anyone thought it would all stay happy and banter-y now they must have been reading  than me, because Nora is waiting right around the corner to snatch me the fuck out of my happy pool:

It’s time for another Fancy Orange Sportsball Banquet, including our friends from Tall, Dark and Dramatic University.

Thankfully, our boy Neil has one thing in common with fandom by now, and that is being ready to protect Kevin at all costs.

           “Neil” might be an easily-spooked runaway, and “Nathaniel” was a hunted young man, but “Abram” was the one shielded from and untouched by his father’s bloody business. Neil would pull on every murder he’d ever seen and every endless, desperate night, and he’d face Riko unflinching.

This is yet another wonderful, wonderful development in Neil where I cannot begin to tell you how much I like it. But more on that in a minute.

First, another point on the list of Things That Absolutely No One Saw Coming, and By No One I Mean Everyone.

           “The following four teams have qualified to represent the southeastern district in spring championship games. I will list them in order of ranking, first to fourth. Edgar Allan, Palmetto State, Breckenridge, Belmonte.”

Aka the only teams we have seen the Foxes play against so far. What a surprise.

Also, I did mention that Neil and Renee are going as platonic dates, right?

Did I also mention how much I love Renee for going on platonic dates with people?? Bc same?? Also I love her??

           “Sorry,” Neil said.

           Renee sent him a curious look. “Why?”

           “I’m no trying to ignore you.”

           “It’s all right if you do,” Renee said. “Kevin needs you more than I do.”

I love you :( <333

Also, hate to say this, but homegirl is right.

           “Your lack of survival instincts is supremely distressing,” Riko said. “Take that look off your face before I carve it off.”

That Fucker™ is back, everyone, and as always ready to supply us all with shitty input exactly no one asked for.

           Neil hadn’t realized he was smiling, too, a cruel look he’d inherited from his father. Neil lowered his cup so Riko could get a better look at it. “I would love to see you try. You think I’m afraid of your knife? I’m the Butcher’s son.”

HELL FUCKIN YEAH.

After having met Angsty Dramatic Runaway Neil Josten, Sassy Lil Shit Neil Josten, and recently Responsibly Neil Josten, may I now introduce you to my newest favourite Neil Josten:

Fearless Neil Josten.

           “I am the family your father was afraid of.” (…)

           “Not of you,” Neil said, with fierce emphasis. “You’re not part of that family, remember? You’re the cast-off.”

Oh yeah, also Fearless Neil Josten is Sassy Lil Shit Neil Josten’s meaner twin brother.

GET FUCKED, RIKO.

           He hoped it would hit, but he didn’t realize how deep it would cut. He’d never seen that look on Riko’s face but he knew he’d signed his death warrant.

Oops.

           “A dog who bites his master’s hand deserves to be slaughtered.” (…)

           “I am not a dog. I’m a Fox.”

           “You are nothing but what I tell you to be.”

           “We talked about your delusions.”

Neil, as much as I am enjoying your witty comebacks At All Times, I sagely advise you to shut the fuck up right about now.

           “Let go of me, King.”

           “I am King,” Riko agreed, “and you are going to spend Christmas at my castle. You’re coming to Evermore for winter break.”

I would have loved to dish out a few amused comments here in the style of lol, dream on Mr Fuckface Dramatic – however thanks to y’all I have been told time and time again that there was absolute shit going down on Christmas.

Which means that now I am not amused. I am incredibly scared.

           “Drake was an interesting man, wasn’t he? I should thank the police for leading me straight to him. I might not have discovered him otherwise. Did you know, Nathaniel? Oakland lawyers are some of the cheapest to buy off.”

He set Andrew up. He set. Andrew. Up.

That FUCKER. I knew there was going to be a reason why Drake was there at that point exactly.

THAT FUCKER.

           “Did you know I’ve bought one of the doctors at Eastaven, too? Unless you want these little therapy sessions of his to turn into therapeutic reenactments, you will be on a  plane to West Virginia tomorrow morning.”

THAT FUCKING FUCKER.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

I will personally punch him in his shit-eating face – no, wait.

           Neil didn’t have words, so he answered with his fist. He didn’t have a lot of room to swing but he made do and caught Riko right in his vulgar mouth.

NEIL will punch him in his shit-eating face.                    

I have been waiting for this since we first bloody met That Fucker™. I am living.

A short brawl ensues, which Neil would have totally won imo if the Coaches wouldn’t have separated them.

As it is, though, the Raven Posse is out of sight, though definitely not out of mind.

          “What happened?”

          “Neil hit Riko,” Matt said. “It was beautiful.”

          “What?” Nicky squawked. “Not fair! I missed it! Go do it again.”

I am actually laughing so hard. Nicky, you are the best.

Neil explains the situation to the team – how Riko used the promise of getting Drake’s charges dismissed as bait for him to come see Andrew one more time – and then continues being unexpectedly and brilliantly badass.

          “I’m going to kill him,” Nicky said.

          “No,” Neil said, with a ferocity that had even Matt eyeing him warily. “We’ve got to break him first. If Exy is the only thing he cares about we’re going to take it away from him. First we destroy his reputation, then we destroy him.”

Have I mentioned how Fearless Neil Josten is my fucking FAVE.

          “I don’t want us to lose a single game this spring. Can we do that?”

          “Not a single damn game,” Dan said in a hard voice.

Hell yeah.

          “I don’t have a choice. I have to go. You have to trust me.”

          “He will break you.”

          “He wishes he knew how,” Neil said. “Trust me. I promise I’ll come back, and when I do I’ll bring Andrew back with me. It’s going to be fine. So do you have my ticket or not?”

Hell fucking nope.

Is this happening?

This is the fuck happening.

Oh dear.

If you like this and you wanna help me continue writing, please consider buying me a coffee! Thank you so much <3

[jasonwalkerbtecart]

Here are examples of contemporary works of design found from various sources spanning the past 5 years or so. What is clear throughout is a key focus on the bespoke; an embrace of the handmade. There are clear influences and callbacks to influential designers and movements; the “Museum” piece experiments with type and legibility as well as layers in a Carson and Bankov style fashion. 

Baby Driver poster: This is a movie poster for Edgar Wright’s “Baby Driver”. Because Edgar Wright is such a visual director, using imagery and visuals to help create comedy in his own unique style, it’s fitting the poster uses imagery to sell the movie. There are three main aspects to the piece in terms of imagery; the gun, the soundwaves, and the car. The gun is used to present the action element of the movie, providing cohesion with the trailers and publicity material, whilst the soundwaves represent the music the lead character has on him at all time, whilst also looking like trails from the car. Lastly the car represents the theme of the movie which is driving. Through simple visuals, a lot is presented about the movie. In terms of style, it utilises a handmade, screen-printed aesthetic of the 1950s, using a tan/off-white colour for the highlights along with subtle grainy textures. There’s also an element of 70s movie posters to it; there are visual references to Starsky and Hutch in terms of the pale pinky-red hues, adding more semantic meaning to the piece. 

The Beaux Strategem: This piece has a much more cobbled-together look than other bespoke looking pieces, such as the “Love Your Stuff” print for example. There are clippings of multiple photographs arranged in a style that isn’t so clean or seamless; this is effective as it creates not only bold imagery with the sharp lines of where the image cuts off, as well as the idea of multiple people being morphed together using collage, but it also presents an idea of this piece being assembled by somebody, giving it that slightly more personal edge. The type is also produced in a rough, brush stroke style fashion, very reminiscent of 80s typography; I could perhaps adopt this approach when it comes to the type for my final poster. 

PUNK: The focus of this piece is primarily the typography. It has the same rough, clipping style collage as the Beaux Stratagem piece, however it is much more edgy, using clippings from newspapers and hand-written notes, taking it to a low-fi, garage-band aesthetic. The colours are very muted, using mostly black and white, therefore drawing the viewer’s attention to the highlights where the type is laid out. The handwritten notes follow the convention of today which is a heavy focus on the hand-made; for example, Ed Sheehan’s “Divide” LP art focuses primarily on a hand-written, chalk style typeface to suggest a youthful, trendy representation of the album. Marvel’s Spider-Man: Homecoming uses handwritten type in the logo to hark back to teenage, John Hughes-esque High School doodles. It’s this convention in design at the moment that really makes handwritten and handmade pieces current and trendy. It also makes visual reference to the famous Sex Pistols LP artwork, providing more levels of meaning; it presents itself as careless and grungy. 

[mail-me-a-snail]

ooh, I never thought about bim disliking the jims! How are his relationships with the other egos?

hmmm. 

bim is more or less rivals with wilford to see who can have the best gameshow and the most viewers. 

bim and dr iplier dont interact that much 

bim finds the host creepy but he wouldnt say anything out loud. besides, he has his own secrets. 

bim would propose a commercial opportunity to ed edgar for his adoption services.

bim is uncomfortable around google because google knows lots of secrets and bim wouldnt want to let his own secret out to the public. he’d be ruined! 

[incorrect-ego-quotes]

Ed Edgar, taking the baby from Anti and back into Yan's hand: no refunds -- besides, this is our starter baby! you can get in bulk from my adopt-a-lots!!

Yan, excitedly: with a discount?!

Ed Edgar, laughing heartily: no!

Anti, pointing at a baby: who is this?

Anti: whose…kid is this?

The Egos: [whispering]

Yandereplier: excuse me

Yandereplier, shaking a baby bottle with milk: oh hey senpai! you saw my gift! Merry Christmas!

Anti, picking up the baby: what is this?

Yandereplier: it’s our child! we can be a happy family and now you can never ever leave my side, senpai!

Anti: babies aren’t allowed at the Septiceyes’ office

Anti: and you’re underage, how the hell did you adopt–

Yandereplier: i didn’t adopt her! I just uh… found her?

The Egos: [whispers more loudly]

Anti, holding the baby defensively: you tell me now Yan – you tell me where on earth did you kidnap this baby, take it back!

[newstechreviews]

Over the past 20 years, horror fans have seen some exceptionally wonderful horror movies. We're living in a golden era of modern horror where filmmakers don't have to rely on witty supernatural villains spouting terrible one-liners while killing off their victims one by one. Now, both indie and major studios are producing memorable films that mix horror with other genres to create something unique and wonderful, like this year's Get Out, which won big at the box office.

We're taking a look at the past two decades of horror and picking out the best movie, year by year. Some years were better than others, but all of these movies should be on your watch list, especially with Halloween right around the corner.

1997: Event Horizon

1997 was not a great year for horror movies. It was a summer filled with movies like Scream 2, I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Relic, and a slew of other very forgettable films. That year, Event Horizon was released, a sci-fi/horror hybrid about the reappearance of a ship that went into a black hole. The rescue team discovers something horrifying inside. Sure, it's not an amazing movie, but it's fun, and there are plenty of memorable moments, like when one character's eyes get sewn shut.

1998: Ringu

Ringu kicked off what eventually become America's love affair with Asian horror cinema. A reporter and her ex-husband investigate a mysterious tape that reportedly kills you seven days after you watch it. The vast majority of people are much more familiar with the 2002 American remake, which had a much bigger budget, but the original Ringu is a much better horror film with some great scares, even if a couple effects sequences are dated.

1999: The Blair Witch Project

For better or worse, depending on your outlook, The Blair Witch Project started a revolution when it came to "found footage" movies. This was a new genre for horror to jump into and part of the allure was the audience wondering if what they were watching was actually real. The Blair Witch Project follows three film students that head into the Maryland wilderness to shoot a documentary about local myth the Blair Witch. Obviously, things don't go well for them.

Runners-up: The Sixth Sense and Audition

2000: American Psycho

In 2000, the world fell in love with potential sociopath Patrick Bateman, a wealthy white-collar worker during the '80s who fantasizes about murdering everyone around him while discussing Huey Lewis and the News. American Psycho isn't just a horror film; it mixes and bends genres to tell its tale. However, the amount of blood, brutality, and violence in this film makes it feel like a precursor to the modern gore sub-genre that came a few years later. American Psycho isn't just a good horror movie, it's a great movie in general.

Runner-up: Ginger Snaps

2001: The Devil's Backbone

Spanish director Guillermo del Toro is a name you're going to see a few times on this list because he is not only a fantastic director when it comes to horror, but he puts his name behind some incredibly memorable films. In The Devil's Backbone, a young boy, who lost his father in the Spanish Civil War in 1939, is forced to live in an orphanage. He never feels quite comfortable in his new surroundings as there's a groundskeeper who doesn't want him looking in a storage locker, and the building is haunted by ghosts. This is one of del Toro's most underrated films.

Runner-up: Session 9

2002: 28 Days Later

While 1985's campy Return of the Living Dead was the first time a fast zombie appeared on screen, 28 Days Later popularized the idea of fast-moving infected/undead chasing down their prey. The diseased in 28 Days Later are not traditional zombies nor are they the living dead, but Danny Boyle's frantic and intense film was terrifying and helped usher in a resurgence in zombie films and media. In 2003, the comic series The Walking Dead started and in 2004, Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake came to theaters. Fans of the genre owe a lot to Boyle's film.

Runner-up: The Ring

2003: A Tale of Two Sisters

While South Korea's A Tale of Two Sisters may not be as well-known or regarded for ushering in Asian horror renaissance like Japan's Ringu, it's a great example of Korea's style of horror filmmaking: a genre-mixing, intense process that leaves the viewers on the edge of their seats. A teenage girl returns home from a stint in a mental hospital, and is terrorized by her cruel step-mother and ghosts within the family home. A Tale of Two Sisters balances psychological horror and a mystery exceptionally well and makes that year's biggest American horror film, Freddy vs. Jason, look like child's play.

Runner-up: 2LDK

2004: Shaun of the Dead

In Shaun of the Dead, Shaun decides to try and win back his ex-girlfriend; however, the only problem is that there's a zombie apocalypse happening around them. This movie is one of the best horror/comedies of all time, thanks to the witty writing of Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright, and let's not forget how amazingly this movie is edited as well. While the focus is a bit more on Pegg's character, Shaun, and his best friend Ed, played by Nick Frost, there are a few jump scares and classic "trapped by zombies" moments that make this a legitimately great film.

Runners-up: Dawn of the Dead and Saw

2005: The Descent

If you're claustrophobic, then The Descent is a total nightmare. A group of explorers head out on an adventure to search an uncharted cave system, only to find monsters in the darkness that are hunting them all down, one by one. Aside from the scares coming from the man-eating beasts, what sets The Descent apart from other horror movies that year is the feeling of being trapped, thanks to the way it was filmed, which--believe it or not--was all in a studio outside of London, as filming in an actual cave was deemed too dangerous. The Descent is a must-watch for horror fans, and one of the better movies on this list.

2006: Pan's Labyrinth

Once again, director Guillermo del Toro makes the list. Pan's Labyrinth takes place in Spain in the mid-1940s and follows a young girl obsessed with fairy tales. One day, she finds a faun who tells her she's a princess but must complete three tasks in order to prove she's royalty. Pan's Labyrinth has a narrative setup that could easily be used for a children's film, but del Toro takes it down a dark path, setting it against a war, and creating some haunting creatures, like the one above. It's a movie that appears to be a fantasy, but upon closer inspection, is filled with unimaginable horrors.

Runner-up: The Host

2007: The Orphanage

2007 may have been one the best years for horror. It was a year that produced The Mist, 28 Weeks Later, 30 Days of Night, and 1408 to name a few, but none of those films hold a candle to The Orphanage, which was executive produced by Guillermo del Toro. In the movie, a young woman (Laura) and her husband raise their son in an old house that used to be an orphanage that Laura was raised in. Soon, her son begins talking to invisible friends and quickly disappears, so Laura enlists outside help to figure out what's going on. Obviously, the little boy in the mask is creepy, but this movie shines in its use of location, sound, and overall tone. There's a reason del Toro put his name on this movie: It's haunting.

Runners-up: Paranormal Activity and REC

2008: Let The Right One In

Sweden's romantic horror film is bizarre and haunting, and the American adaptation--Let Me In--just isn't the same. Let The Right One In follows a young bullied boy who is befriended by a strange girl, who turns out to be a vampire, of sorts. It's one of the early adopters of the the new age of horror that puts the focus on a slow-building tension that immerses the audience into the world where the real horror is rooted in realistic fears, even if said fears are coming from something supernatural. It's a film that's best enjoyed on your own, and we won't say much else about the film because there are so many twists and turns to it.

Runner-up: Quarantine

2009: Drag Me To Hell

Sam Raimi--known for the Evil Dead franchise--made a return to horror in 2009 with Drag Me To Hell. A loan officer has to evict an old woman from her home, and after doing so, finds herself cursed and on a mission to save her own soul. This movie is pure Sam Raimi, who has a knack for blurring the lines between comedy and horror at times. Are we supposed to laugh when the main character has blood/bugs/vomit/black tar dumped on her face or are we supposed to be disgusted? Sadly, Raimi doesn't direct as much anymore, but he did produce one of the best horror films in the past decade, Don't Breathe.

Runner-up: Pandorum

2010: I Saw The Devil

2010 was another great year for horror films: Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, Black Swan, Rare Exports, and The Dead were all released. However, South Korea's I Saw The Devil was easily the best horror film of the year. It brilliantly mixes the genre with a Korean favorite: the revenge film, as a serial killer murders a secret agent's fiance, and he takes vengeance into his own hands, even if it means becoming a monster himself. Where this movie truly succeeds is with the character arc of the lead, Kim Soo-hyeon, as he morphs into what he is hunting down, in a sense.

Runners-up: Let Me In and Insidious

2011: You're Next

You're Next was one of two good horror films to come out of 2011, which was a pretty bogus year. Luckily, both of those films are pretty fantastic. You're Next has a new spin on the home-invasion story. A family on an anniversary vacation find themselves being hunted down by masked killers; however, one of the hunted has a secret: they know how to fight back. This genre of horror has been overdone, but the twist gives this story some new life.

Runner-up: Grave Encounters

2012: Cabin in the Woods

Cabin in the Woods is a really weird movie, in all the right ways. It starts as a typical horror film featuring a group of attractive young adults, heading to a remote cabin, where they're hunted down by zombies. However, what sets this movie apart is the turn, which happens during the first act--and we won't spoil it in case you've never seen it. Cabin in the Woods is ingenious and actually pretty funny at times. In addition, it's the only horror movie that will have you rooting for a gross merman to kill someone.

Runners-up: Sinister and VHS

2013: The Conjuring

Ed and Lorraine Warren's alleged supernatural encounters have been made into countless movies, with the most memorable being The Amityville Horror. However, in 2013, The Conjuring came out, which recounts one of the Warren's early investigations of a Rhode Island farmhouse that is under attack by a supernatural force. It is, by far, one of the best horror films of the decade and launched a fantastic franchise as well.

Runners-up: Oculus and VHS 2

2014: The Babadook

Jennifer Kent's 2014 film, The Babadook, follows a widow trying to take care of her problematic child who thinks there is a monster in the house. The mother quickly discovers a creature called the Babadook is terrorizing the family. Much like a few other films on the list, The Babadook slowly builds tension, and while the film has a few jump scares, it doesn't rely on them to horrify the audience.

Runners-up: REC 4 and Housebound

2015: It Follows

It Follows is a great way to promote abstinence. Joking aside, the 2015 film does revolve around a curse that can only be passed on by intercourse, and that curse comes in the form of a slow-moving, supernatural being that kills you if it reaches you. The movie centers around a young woman who becomes cursed after a sexual encounter with a young man who mysteriously disappears. She and a group of friends do what they can to keep her from being reached by the creature. The story is unique and keeps the viewers on the edge of their seats for the entire film. At no point does the tension let up.

Runners-up: They Look Like People and The Visit

2016: The Witch

On this list, 2016 was the best year for horror, as you can see from the long list of runners-up below. The film that beat out everything else that year was the slow-paced movie The Witch. This movie is an extremely slow burn that follows a family in the 1600s who believe their daughter may have been influenced by witches. What makes this such a great film is the attention to detail, from the clothing to the insanely specific dialect. In addition, it has some of the best cinematography in modern horror. It is a beautiful movie with some chilling undertones.

Runners-up: Don't Breathe, Green Room, Hush, The Conjuring 2, Train to Busan, Under The Shadow, The Shallows, and The Wailing

2017: Get Out

2017 may not be over, but as of October, the best horror film of the year is Get Out. The Jordan Peele-directed film follows Chris, a young black man who is on his way to meet his white girlfriend's parents for the first time. He quickly learns that something is off about the family and everyone in the circle of friends. Get Out has such a good story that weaves mystery and thriller genres into it as the movie progresses--along with a little comedy. What makes this such a great film is that while some of the elements in the film are "out of this world," it has its rooting in reality. Not only is it a great horror film, it's one of the best films of the year.

Runners-up: Split and It

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