#eclipse: absolutely not. I will never forgive this

[codenamesazanka]

more Deku bashing, if you'll forgive me

Seeing lots of shocked tweets and posts that Deku seems so cold and distant about Shigaraki dying in front of him; that Deku doesn't seem to care much at all; that Deku isn't devastated he wasn't able to save that little boy.

I have to point out that Deku never cared in the first place. He really didn't! It's why he needed to see The Crying Child to feel any bit of empathy for Shigaraki, and why ever since then, he only yammers on about saving the Crying Child and only the little boy. He never gave a shit about the Shigaraki in front of him. Never treated Shigaraki like someone real to engage with. That Shigaraki is unforgivable; and it was impossible to have ever bring the Crying Child into reality because the Crying Child was a memory, it happened 15 years in the past that cannot be changed, so all Deku can do is comfort the Crying Child then beat the shit out of Shigaraki.

I mean, just look at the imagery and the word choices:

Are those the words and expressions of someone who's trying to be careful about not hurting Shigaraki? Actually trying to help someone in pain? I remember when people were excited that Danger Sense would tell Shigaraki that Deku doesn't want to hurt him - turns out nah. He was so ready to make Shigaraki throw up blood.

Deku never tried to talk to Shigaraki. He never asked any questions during the whole time they were fighting. Mirio asked a question and got a response; but Deku? Nothing. Even in the memory-realm, when Shigaraki via memory-villains ask Deku what his plan was, Deku just shouted 'No!' and that was that.

When Deku said 'Somewhere inside of you is a person' he literally meant that. Inside of Shigaraki is the Crying Child, who is the actual person. Did he catch Shigaraki saying 'Spinner will be looking forward to this' and think, 'huh, Shigaraki has someone he cares about, I think? Then he wouldn't want to destroy Spinner, would he?' No. The fan-translation got everyone's hopes up that Deku wants to 'shred the rug' of societal failures, but the official translation was correct - Deku wanted to pry the lid off Shigaraki's trauma, accusing Shigaraki of repressing himself.

If he cared about Shigaraki at all, he would've protested when Gran told him he might have to kill Shigaraki. Instead:

He would've opposed the construction of something called a SKY COFFIN DEATH ARENA. He would've spoken up when Heroes talked strategy about how AFO is the better opponent to fight, implying that it's better if AFO had taken over Shigaraki, despite Shigaraki being the victim of AFO here.

Even when he ends up saving Tenko from Decaying the Shimuras, he's utterly lackluster there. Tenko's in tears, saying that he must have wanted to kill his family, he was born with a quirk like Decay, who could ever validate his existence the way he is??? And Deku's response? "Well. Holding my hand might make you feel better. So here." Saying something like, 'No, you're a child! It's not your fault!' or 'Your quirk isn't meant for harm, it can be useful too' or 'It's okay. You're not an evil existence' seems obvious, but Deku doesn't.

and really, all this has been obvious since the Mall Encounter in Chapter 69. Remember when Shigaraki point blank told him that All Might's smile is stupid because he acts like there's no one he can't save? And it's clearly full of resentment? And Deku picked up on this, which is why next chapter he asks All Might if it's true there are times where All Might couldn't save someone.

But once Tsukauchi said, don't worry about it, Deku did just that. When he does think about it one time, it's this absolutely nothing of a reflection

"I guess we just have to agree to disagree!" Come on. And this kid has a 'drive to save that eclipses all common understanding'??? for real?????

Deku has never given a crap about Shigaraki or Villains. Honestly, him wanting to save that sad little boy might as well be just Horikoshi putting lines in his mouth to move the story along.

If Deku really did care, I think he would've wanted to save the entire person that is Shigaraki. The Crying Child is a phantom - Shigaraki is real and solid and there. The Crying Child is innocent and easy to care about because it's a cute baby and it's openly weepy; saving hand-monster junji ito twink Shigaraki who laughs and talks about destroying everything Deku loves would've been an actual challenge. But clearly we couldn't have that because even the Crying Child was too far gone for Deku to save.

[chvoswxtch]

all i need is you

pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader

summary: following the morning after matt's run in with elektra, you have a lot of decisions to make about your future together.

warnings: swearing, angst, explicit sexual content (minors pls dni), mentions of pregnancy

word count: 8.2k

a/n: y'all have been requesting a sequel to please don't be mad for almost 6 months now, & I apologize it's coming so late. there were a lot of things y'all wanted to see happen in the sequel, & I took all of that feedback to heart & incorporated as much as I could in a way that made sense to me. i've been working on this for months, & it was really important to me to create something you guys would really love & be happy with. thank you to everyone that even wanted a sequel, & for being so patient. as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!

[part one]

It was almost crazy to think that just over a year ago, you thought your relationship with Matt Murdock was over for good. 

When you had awoken that following morning by his side, head clear of the rage and lust induced haze you had been captured in, all that was lingering was a heart heavy with hurt and stinging with betrayal. You had silently collected all of your belongings, pressed one last kiss to Matt’s lips, and granted his peaceful sleeping form one final glance before leaving your spare key on his entry table and disappearing into the twilight. 

All of his words still echoed in the back of your mind, but so did his actions. The promise of marriage was eclipsed by the cherry lip stain on his collar. The prospect of a family was diluted by the scent of an expensive perfume that didn’t belong to you. The vow of faith and love was broken by yet another lie. 

You loved Matt, more than you had ever loved anyone, and more than you ever thought you could love another person. You knew deep down that he was a good man. You tried to believe that he would never intentionally hurt you. But it had gotten to the point where you couldn’t ignore the ache he left in your chest. 

You needed time to try to forgive him. You weren’t even sure if you could forgive him at all. The cut he’d made ran deep, and you couldn’t decide if it was because he’d made it with her blade, or if it was simply his own that had been slicing away at the same spot over and over and over. Regardless, you needed time. Time away from him; to heal, to think, to decide. 

But Matt Murdock had never been a man of patience.

For two endless weeks your phone constantly lit up with his name, filling up with messages containing apologies and desperate pleas. You started arriving early to work and left later than usual to throw him off your schedule. You had the receptionist bypass all his calls and made security aware that he was not welcome in your office. You ignored all the usual spots that he knew you frequented, and especially the ones you went to together. For the first time in over a year, you locked all your windows to ensure he couldn’t slip through in the middle of the night. You blasted music through your headphones so you didn’t have to hear the pain in his voice as he called out your name, fist banging away at your front door so hard you were certain he was going to actually break it down. 

It was torture. Even though he had been the one to wrong you, a piece of you felt guilty. You could hear the terror and remorse in his voice when he stood outside your door, begging for forgiveness, chanting your name over and over as if you were the deity he worshiped and needed absolution from. It left a bitter taste in your mouth to be yet another person to turn your back on him, but through the wave of your sadness came the tide of anger, reminding you that he had done this. He had forced your hand. He made a choice, and you had to make yours. 

The guilt from also having to ignore Karen and Foggy weighed heavily on your chest. They knew what had happened. You had just as many sympathetic voicemails and unanswered texts from them asking if you were okay, and if you wanted to talk. You hated not being able to lean on them when you were at your most vulnerable. They were your family just as much as Matt was, but you couldn’t talk to them or be around them. They just reminded you of him. A huge part of you resented him for that, for making you feel like you couldn’t go to the two other people you loved most in this world for comfort because of what he did. You had spent the past few years building your entire life around Matt, and he had selfishly sent it crashing to the ground, leaving you completely isolated beneath the debris.

For two long weeks, you felt trapped beneath a heavy blanket of depression you couldn’t seem to find your way out from. 

And then she happened. 

How Elektra had managed to break into your apartment when Matt couldn’t, you weren’t sure, but the day you came home to find her in your living room with a bag of your things packed by her feet, you were stunned silent.

“I need you to come with me.”

“What? Why?”

“Because Matthew is an idiot and he’s put you in danger. We need to go. Now.”

She didn’t even give you a chance to hesitate, gripping your overnight bag into one hand, and forcing you out your door with the other. The ding of the elevator dropping you to the lobby seemed to wake you out of whatever trance she had put you in, and you stared at her in confusion as you stood firmly outside the metal doors.

“I don’t understand. What are you doing here? Where are we going?”

“I’ll explain when we get there. We need to move.”

“I don’t-“

“Listen. You don’t know me. You’ve got no reason to trust me. But right now, I am trying to save your life. So if you’ll please-“

“Why?”

Elektra paused for a moment as she looked at you. The annoyance on her perfect features vanished slowly, taking in the pain and confusion that were clearly plastered on yours. 

“Because you’re important to Matthew, which means you’re important to me.”

Elektra filled you in on everything the moment she had secured you away in a penthouse uptown that was registered under an alias. What she and Matt thought were the Yakuza had ended up being a much older and sinister organization called The Hand. They were into some freaky cult shit that you didn’t quite understand, but you got the gist that they were powerful, and extremely dangerous. They were also everywhere. They had tracked her and Matt, and a man named Stick that had trained the two of them, back to Matt’s apartment the night after the gala. They had been tracking him ever since, and because he had continuously been going to your office and apartment, they knew all about you. 

She even told you the truth about how she had met Matt, and how it had all been a set up by Stick to bring him back to their side; to fight the war that he had been warning them both about. 

“I don’t know what Matthew has told you about me. Probably nothing good. But I need you to know…I did love him. That’s why I left. I realized…he wasn’t like us. He would never be like us. He was too…good. He didn’t belong with Stick and I. I didn’t want to be the one to put that light out inside of him. I didn’t want anyone to. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble between the two of you the night of the gala. I wasn’t aware that he hadn’t told you that I was in town, or what we were doing. I swear I was only trying to protect him.”

There was a glimmer of regret dancing along Elektra’s waterline, and you could see her own pain shadowing the faint smile on her lips. 

“You weren’t the one that lied to me.”

Elektra blew out a breath as she took a seat in front of you, dragging her teeth along her bottom lip as she nodded.

“Matthew always has pure intentions. I know that. But for someone who is incredibly intelligent, he’s also a complete dumbass. He tries so hard to do the right thing…but he doesn’t stop to think about if he’s doing it the right way. Look I don’t…I don’t know anything about the two of you, and I’m not telling you what to do, but I can tell you that he is absolutely in love with you.”

“So…you didn’t come back to New York for him?”

“For his help, yes. To rekindle whatever we had, no. But for the record, even if I had, I wouldn’t have stood a chance in Heaven or Hell against you.”

There was something oddly comforting about Elektra’s words and the timid smile on her lips. It eased some of the tension pent up in your body, and you felt a little lighter as you let a deep exhale out through your parted lips. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you glanced over at her as you anxiously twisted a ring around your index finger.

“I…thank you. You…you didn’t have to…do all of this. I hate to even ask anything of you when you’re already doing so much for me but…can you just…not tell Matt I’m here? I’m not ready to talk to him yet.”

Elektra flashed you a pitiful smile as she gave a slight nod of her head.

“Of course. It’ll be our little secret.”

It only took Matt three days to figure out that Elektra had been hiding you, and as he burst through the front door of her penthouse, he was absolutely incandescent. 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me. You’ll have a sleepover with her, but you won’t talk to me?”

“Watch your tone, Matthew.”

Elektra glared over at Matt, tightening her grip on the knife in her hand that was hovering over a cutting board filled with various ingredients. 

Matt furiously tore off his glasses as he angrily pointed his finger in her direction, the top of his lip curling up into a menacing snarl.

“I don’t want to hear shit from you after you-“

“I protected her because you led the Hand right to her. You’re fucking welcome by the way.”

Elektra let out a deep angry exhale as she turned to face you with a sour pout on her lips. She gestured her head in Matt’s direction with a quirk of her brow.

“I can get rid of him if you’d like.”

“Excuse me?”

“I wasn’t speaking to you, Matthew.”

Sighing heavily as you let go of the whisk in your hand, you pushed the large bowl of batter forward on the kitchen island and wiped your hands off on a small towel. Rubbing your hands over your tired eyes, you waved your hand dismissively towards Elektra.

“It’s…it’s fine, Ellie. I’ll deal with him.”

Elektra eyed you for a moment before shooting another glare in Matt’s direction. She dropped the knife onto the cutting board, wiping her hands off on the same towel before clasping them together loudly.

“Right, well, I’ll leave the knife out just in case. Remember the three main areas I taught you to stab. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.”

After you watched Elektra disappear upstairs into her bedroom, you turned around to face Matt. His eyes were absolutely wild with rage and his face was morphed into complete disbelief as he blanched at you.

“Ellie? Since when the hell is she Ellie?”

“Since she’s the only one around here that tells me the truth about what the fuck is going on.”

Matt clenched his fists at his sides as he stared blankly over at you, and you watched as a muscle feathered in his jaw. 

“What did she tell you?”

“Everything you didn’t.”

You could practically feel the anger radiating off of him in waves, but you had more of a right to be pissed off than he did. Matt shoved his hand into his pocket, producing a shiny silver object that he held out in front of him between his thumb and index finger.

“What is this?”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you arched one of your brows as you looked at him.

“A key.”

Your key. 

Matt’s nostrils flared as he clenched his jaw, quickly crossing the distance between you to stand directly in front of you.

“Don’t get smart with me. Do you have any idea how it felt to wake up that next morning and you were gone? All of you, your things, everything gone? And to find this on the table? Not even-“

“I’d imagine it was as shitty as you coming home covered in red lipstick and smelling like your ex lover's perfume. Or as shitty as finding out you lied about where you were and who you were with, and that you kissed her and lied about that too.”

Matt ran his hand through his hair quickly in annoyance before dragging it roughly down his jaw, shaking his head as he flung his arms up in the air with frustration.

“Goddamnit Y/N, we talked about that! We worked through it. Then you just…disappeared and ignored me for weeks. You won’t return any of my calls, you won’t open the door, I can’t even-“

“We didn’t talk about anything, Matt! You kept trying to justify your actions and completely ignored how I was feeling. We didn’t work through anything. You manipulated me and we fucked. That is not working through it.”

Matt sighed with exasperation as he stared at you incredulously. 

“I did not manipulate you. Fuck, I told you that I wanted to marry you and have a family witn you-“

“In the middle of sex, Matthew! I don’t know if you even meant that, or if it was a heat of the moment thing. And don’t you dare say you didn’t manipulate me. You took advantage of the fact that I was frustrated and that you hadn’t touched me in weeks. You knew I would give into you. How do you think that makes me feel? That you completely ignored my feelings, manipulated me into sex for forgiveness, and filled my head with all those promises knowing that our relationship was in a bad spot. I can’t trust a word that you say because you can’t seem to stop lying to me.”

Matt’s anger evaporated the second he tasted the salt of your tears in the air. He hung his head between his shoulders in shame, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as the severity of your words nestled in the silence. Letting out a soft sigh, Matt’s tongue darted out to quickly wet his lips.

“You’re right.”

His hazel eyes were more clear without the cloud of vexation, and you could see the way they glistened with regret. Matt’s plump lips fell into a frown, and guilt seemed to tug the rest of his features down like gravity.

“I’m sorry. I swore to you that I wouldn’t lie after I told you the truth about me. I broke my promise to you, I betrayed your trust, and I disrespected our relationship. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I never, ever meant to hurt you. I didn’t want you to get mad that I was working with Elektra. I didn’t think…I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t considering your feelings. I shouldn’t have kissed her. I could’ve come up with another diversion. All of this could’ve been avoided if…if I had just told you the truth.”

Matt let out a shaky breath as his blank eyes glanced upwards, closing for a moment as he clenched his fists by his sides. A stray tear slipped past his lashes when he opened his eyes again, slowly lowering himself onto his knees before you as he reached for one of your hands to hold.

“I have been…absolutely fucking miserable these past few weeks, and that’s my own fault. I know that. I have hated not getting to feel your touch, or hear your voice, or be able to tell you how much I love you. I am so fucking sorry if I ever made you question how I feel about you, but Y/N I meant every word that night. You are the love of my life. You do belong with me. I do want to marry you and start a family. I swear to God, I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust back and your forgiveness. Just tell me what I have to do sweetheart, and I’ll do it.”

It broke your heart to see Matt look so distraught. It stung even more than he was on his knees begging for forgiveness instead of asking you to spend the rest of your lives together, but there was an undeniable conviction in his voice. It soothed the pang in your chest slightly to finally hear him acknowledge his fuck up, and apologize for it instead of getting defensive. Elektra had melted away the insecurity you had felt with her confession, and the frightened look that shattered Matt’s face showed you just how scared he was to lose you.

There was still a lot of work to be done on your relationship. It wasn’t going to be fixed overnight, and Matt was going to have to put in a lot of effort to earn your trust back, and prove to you just how much your relationship mattered to him. But you were in love with him, and you knew there was no one else for you but him.

“You can start by taking care of this…”Hand” shit. I’m not loving the fact that I’m being hunted by zombie ninjas because of my idiot boyfriend.”

Matt’s ears instantly perked up, and a lopsided hopeful grin stretched across his lips.

“I’m still your boyfriend?”

“For now. You’re dangerously close to being replaced by Elektra, though. She’s always bluntly honest, and her bed is way nicer.”

You never in a million years thought that your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend would fight just as hard as he would to keep you safe, but Elektra had. She protected you from The Hand just as fiercely as Matt did, nearly giving her life for you both, and now she was securing the last button on the back of your wedding dress and staring at you in the mirror with a knowing smirk. 

The morning you slipped out of Matt’s apartment heartbroken and desolate seemed like a lifetime ago as you prepared yourself to meet him at the altar in just under an hour. 

“What’s on your mind, little dove? Got cold feet?”

Elektra quirked one of her dark brows as she stared at your reflection with her signature smirk. Karen had left the two of you alone to go check on Matt and Foggy, and she was helping you with your finishing touches. 

After helping save New York, Elektra had stuck around, and to both of your surprises, and certainly to Matt’s, you two had become very close. The more you got to know the more vulnerable side of her, the more you felt for her. She wasn’t the villain that everyone had painted her out to be. She had been a scared little girl, manipulated with a promise of something resembling a family, only to be broken down and molded into something to orchestrate death and destruction instead. It wasn’t unlike what Stick had done to Matt. As a matter of fact, it was worse. 

“If I said yes?”

Elektra hummed quietly as she moved your hair off your shoulder, leaning in to rest her chin on it as she wrapped you up in a hug from behind with a grin on her lips. 

“Ever been to Paris this time of year? It’s beautiful. We could be at a private air strip before anyone even knew what happened. Matthew is fast, but he can’t outrun a Maserati.”

A grin broke out across your lips as you giggled, squeezing onto Elektra’s arms when she winked. You had never been more sure of anything in your life than you were sure that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Matt Murdock. Both of you knew that. But you also both knew he was eavesdropping just on the other side of the church, and it was incredibly easy to rile him up.

As if on cue, Foggy suddenly burst through the door and pointed a finger at Elektra with an expression of pure irritation on his face. 

“Whatever you’re telling her, knock it off. You’re scaring the shit out of him, and he’s already convinced enough as it is that she's not gonna walk down that aisle.”

“Oh relax, Franklin. Girls got to have their fun, yeah? Besides, I thought they called him the man without fear.” 

Foggy rolled his eyes as he shut the door behind him, walking over to shoo Elektra away as he stood behind you and adjusted your veil down your back.

“Yeah, until it comes to her. Go head to head with the Punisher who's notorious for using automatic weapons with sticks? Sure. Take on a weird cult of ninjas that can’t die and like to use really sharp swords also only with sticks? Why not. Fuck it, let’s use every goddamn tall building in Hell’s Kitchen for parkour practice. But ask the woman I’m ridiculously in love with to marry me and put up with my shit for the rest of our lives? That’s where the devil seems to tuck his tail between his legs.”

Matt had been an absolute nervous wreck the night he proposed to you. He had brought you to the same restaurant that he had taken you to for dinner on your first date, and was fidgety the whole time. Every time you asked if he was okay, he swore up and down that he was, and you figured there was just something overwhelming one or several of his senses. But then you noticed that despite it being mid November, he was sweating as you walked hand in hand through Central Park, and his hand kept nearly slipping from yours. Finally, you stopped and turned to face him, placing your hand on his chest to steady him.

“Okay, what’s going on with you?”

“N-Nothing, I’m fine. Let’s keep-”

“No, you aren’t. You’ve been acting strange all night. You’ve been anxious and fidgety, and now you’re sweating.”

“It’s hot-”

“It’s November, Matthew.”

Matt’s lips parted slightly as he went to protest, but nothing came out. He was usually good at coming up with excuses on the spot, but whatever was going on with him had seemed to completely take over his mind. A soft sigh slipped past your lips as he averted his gaze to the ground, watching as he clenched his fist by his side. You took a step forward to place your hands gently on his cheeks to cradle his face.

“Matty, please talk to me. Is something wrong?”

“No, no nothing…nothing is wrong.”

“Then what is going on? What’s got you so worked up?”

“I’m not worked up-”

“Matthew.”

Matt let out a sigh of defeat hearing the tone in your voice, his tongue darting out to quickly wet his lips as he attempted to flash you a reassuring smile.

“Can we just keep walking please? There’s something I wanna show you.”

There was evident excitement in Matt’s voice, but it didn’t resonate with you. The way he kept dodging your questions was beginning to put you in a sour mood, conjuring up a bitter taste of realization that he was on the cusp of breaking an oath he had sworn to keep. Dropping your hands quickly from his face, you shook your head in frustration as you turned around swiftly to walk ahead without him.

“You promised me you wouldn’t do this anymore.”

You only made it two steps forward before Matt blurted out a confession laced with full blown panic.

“I’m in love with you.”

Immediately pausing, you turned around to look at him in complete confusion.

“I know that, Matt.”

Matt let out a heavy exhale as he rushed forward and took your hand into his, scrunching up his nose as he shook his head quickly.

“No, I…I mean…that I’m…fuck, this isn’t going right.”

Matt pinched the bridge of his nose as his lips pursed into a frown, and you eyed him curiously as you gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“What isn’t going right? What are you talking about?”

“Will you just…come with me? Please? I really need to show you something.”

Matt’s face was twisted in what looked like agony, and the desperation in his voice made you nervous. You didn’t think you had ever seen him look so…terrified, not even that night at Elektra’s when he thought you were going to leave him for good. You allowed Matt to guide you further through the park, venturing off down a path only he seemed to know, and stopping once you reached a gate that was covered in ivy. He pulled a key from his pocket to unlock it, and pushed it open with a slight creak, gesturing for you to enter first with a timid smile.

A shocked gasp flew past your lips as you stepped inside. It was an isolated garden, completely closed in by ivy covered walls, lit up only with various strings of white twinkle lights and the glow of the moon. To your delight, there were several plants and flowers in full bloom, and the whole scene looked like a vibrant painting you would hang on your wall. 

“I hear this place is beautiful.”

Turning around to face Matt, you noticed that he had taken off his glasses, and was apprehensively turning them over in his hands over and over. The timid smile was still plastered on his lips, but his eyes were nearly blown open with distress.

“I…it’s…I don’t even know how to describe it. How…how did you find this?”

“Karen did. It’s technically private property owned by the city, but Brett owed me a favor.”

The puzzlement on your face only grew as you stared at Matt, a soft laugh leaving your lips as you gestured around.

“Is this why you’ve been acting so weird? You didn’t think I’d like the surprise?”

Matt’s eyes darted back and forth blankly as he dragged his teeth along his bottom lip, swallowing thickly as he placed his glasses into his jacket pocket and took a few cautious steps forward.

“I…I hoped that you’d like it.”

“Matty, I love it. It’s so beautiful. But you didn’t have to be so nervous to show me this. You could’ve taken me to a random alley and I still would’ve loved it.”

Matt let out a breathless laugh as he shook his head, clicking his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he smiled softly.

“Then it wouldn’t have been special.”

A furrow formed between your brows as you looked at him, trying to decipher all the cryptic pieces he was laying in front of you.

“What wouldn’t have?”

Matt was silent for a moment as he fixed his gaze on your face, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly as he studied you. Finally letting out a deep breath, he reached out to take one of your hands, brushing his thumb delicately over your knuckles as a slow smile spread over his lips.

“I told you, I’m in love with you.”

“And I’m in love with you, Matty.”

Matt took a step closer as he brought his other hand up to cradle your face, a tender smile on his lips as he rubbed his thumb soothingly over your cheek. You couldn’t tell if it was the reflection of the lights in his eyes, but they looked glossy, almost as if he was about to cry, and it made you squeeze onto his hand tighter.

“You…are the first person that has ever truly understood me. The first that’s ever accepted and loved both sides of me. You’ve never shied away from one, or favored the other, or asked me to choose. You haven’t given up on me, even when I’ve given you plenty of reasons to. You are the best part of my day. I can’t tell you how…how happy it makes me to know that when I come home at night, you’re there waiting for me. And no matter what kind of day I’ve had, or how rough of a night it was, it…it doesn’t matter, because you’re there. You give me a reason to make it home. I can’t tell you how much I love that I get to fall asleep holding you and listening to your heartbeat, and start every day hearing your voice and kissing your lips. I have never felt as…happy…and light as I do with you. I want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way. I want to spend the rest of my life ending every night with you and starting every morning with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So-”

Matt let out a shaky breath as he slowly dropped his hand from your face and tightly held onto your hand. You were already in tears from Matt’s words before, but the moment he dropped down onto one knee before you, the floodgates opened and a choked sob caught in your throat as your other hand flew up to cover your mouth.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?”

“Oh my God, Matty…yes…yes!”

Matt blew out a shaky breath of relief as he closed his eyes for a moment, the tension in his shoulders evaporating right in front of your eyes as he let his head drop. You couldn’t help but laugh as you stared down at him in perplexity.

“Did you think I was going to say no?”

Matt rubbed his hand down his face to wipe away his own tears, letting out another breathless laugh and sniffling as he looked up at you with a goofy grin on his lips.

“Figured I had a fifty-fifty shot.”

Lips splitting into the biggest smile you had ever seen, Matt quickly rose to his feet and grabbed your face, capturing your mouth in a deep kiss as you gripped onto his jacket to hold him close. All of a sudden he quickly pulled away and shoved his hand down into his pocket.

“Oh shit, uh…sorry…I…here.”

Matt laughed nervously as he pulled a small velvet black box out of his pocket, opening it to reveal the ring inside. Your mouth fell open as a gasp escaped, and you gripped onto Matt’s forearm as fresh tears welled in your eyes.

“Matty…”

“Do…do you like it?”

“I…I love it. It’s…it’s perfect. How did you-”

“I had some help.”

Glancing up at Matt through your teary eyes, you watched as a bashful smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Pulling the ring from the box, Matt gently grabbed onto your wrist with a shaky hand, and carefully slipped the ring onto your finger. It fit absolutely perfectly, and you stared down at it in awe as it dazzled beneath the lights. You were overwhelmed with so many emotions, and you didn’t know what to do other than grab Matt’s face and pull him down for a searing kiss. 

The two of you gripped onto each other as if you were afraid the other might disappear if you loosened your grasp even the slightest. You were a flurry of lips and teeth, trying to devour the other’s desire, consuming the taste of happiness together. Matt laid you down in the soft grass of the garden floor and made love to you right there, intertwining his hand with yours that wore the symbol of his love and promise to you.

A burst of laughter ripped through your chest at that memory of Matt’s nervousness as you covered your mouth, staring at Foggy knowingly in the reflection of the mirror. Elektra’s mouth split into a huge grin as she rolled her eyes, pressing a quick kiss to your temple and giving Foggy’s shoulder a squeeze on her way to the door.

“Alright, alright. Let me go do damage control. I’ll see you both out there. Oh, and Y/N, darling?”

You turned your head to look over at her as she paused in the doorway.

“Yeah?”

A warm smile tugged at the corners of Elektra’s mouth as she stared over at you, leaning her head briefly against the door. 

“You are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”

You pursed your lips slightly as your face twisted up faintly into an expression of gratitude, returning her smile with one of your own.

“Thank you, Ellie.”

Elektra flashed you a quick wink, closing the door behind her to leave you alone with Foggy.

“She’s right, you know. You do look beautiful.”

A smirk tugged at the corner of your mouth as you looked at Foggy in the mirror, arching one of your brows quizzically.

“Did you just agree with her?”

“That stays between us. This is a one time thing.”

Laughing softly, you turned around to pull Foggy into a tight hug, sighing in relaxation as his arms came around you to hold you securely to his chest. There didn’t seem to be anything that a hug from Foggy Nelson couldn’t fix. All of the pent up nerves seemed to dissipate from the warmth of his embrace, and you suddenly felt a million times lighter.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have anything to thank me for.”

“I have everything to thank you for.”

“Well in that case, I think Foggy would be a great name for your future kid.”

A deep laugh rumbled in his chest as you giggled, pulling back slightly to peer up at him with a grin.

“I’ll put in a good word.”

After Foggy left you alone to go rejoin Matt and the others, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, smoothing your hands over your dress for the millionth time. A part of you was still in disbelief that today was the day you were marrying your best friend. Matt had sworn to not take the second chance you had given him for granted, and had been treating it as if it were sacred. He opened up to you about everything now, even the rough nights that plagued his thoughts, and the horrors he desperately wanted to protect you from. There wasn’t a single thought or emotion he hid anymore, and he’d even gotten better about finding balance between each of his lives. That wasn’t to say that you both didn’t struggle from time to time still, but your relationship was the healthiest it had ever been.

A knock against the door tore you from your thoughts, and a smile quickly spread across your lips at the sight of the figure leaning against the doorway.

“Hey big guy.”

Frank’s mouth split into a grin as he looked at you, giving a slight nod of his head in your direction.

“Hey darlin’.”

Turning away from the mirror to face him fully, you swallowed thickly as you smoothed your trembling hands down the sides of your dress and gestured to it.

“I look okay?”

Frank cocked his head to the side as he smirked, taking you in with his eyes as he took a few steps forward to stand in front of you.

“You kiddin’? You’re gonna knock Red on his ass.”

You didn’t hardly have any family outside of the chosen one you had made with Matt, Foggy, Karen, Elektra, and Frank. When you’d let it slip to him that you would be walking down the aisle alone, Frank instantly offered to be the one to walk you. He confessed that it would probably be the closest he would ever get to walking his own daughter down the aisle, and you graciously accepted without hesitation. 

A smirk curled at the corner of your mouth as you let your eyes wander over his large figure, finally meeting his deep brown curious eyes.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so…”

“Dressed up, yeah yeah. Don’t get used to it.”

“I was gonna say not covered in blood.”

Frank let out a deep chuckle as he shook his head slowly, looking down at you with a dazzling grin on his lips.

“Figured I could behave for a few days so I didn’t mess up your pretty dress, yeah?”

“How generous of you.”

As the processional music started to play, the nerves you felt earlier returned full force, and you gripped onto Frank’s arm tightly as the reality of the situation started to sink in. This was actually happening. Matt was waiting for you on the other side of these doors, and in just a few moments, he would finally be your husband. Tears started to form in the corners of your eyes as your emotions started to catch up with you, thinking about everything the two of you had gone through together, and how it had all led up to this moment. Frank’s lips brushed against your cheek as he bent down to whisper into your ear.

“You say the word, and I’ll get you outta here. No questions asked, yeah?”

Gripping a little tighter onto his arm, you leaned into Frank’s embrace as a shaky breath left your lips.

“Where would we go?”

“Wherever you want, darlin’. I could hide you places even he couldn’t find.”

You swore you heard Matt groan loudly on the other side of the door, and you couldn’t help but giggle as you dipped your head back to look up at Frank. Taking a deep breath in, you exhaled slowly through your parted lips and nodded with a soft smile.

“I’m ready.”

Frank gave a slight nod as he leaned in to kiss your forehead, dropping his left eye in a wink as he smiled.

“Attagirl.”

“Frankie?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Don’t let me fall, please.”

Frank wrapped his right arm tightly around your waist, holding onto your hand with his left one as he squeezed it gently.

“Never.”

»»———　　———««

“As absolutely beautiful as you are in this dress, it’s time for it to come off.”

“You don’t wanna leave it on?”

“I’d love to, sweetheart, but it’s kind of in my way. Besides, it’s so pretty, I’d hate to ruin it with all the things I wanna do to you, Mrs. Murdock.”

A soft gasp left your lips as Matt gently sucked on that sensitive spot on your neck below your ear, and you could feel him grin against your skin when your heart skipped. He had taken every opportunity throughout the evening to call you that, or refer to you as his wife. Every time it hit your ears, a buzz of serotonin flooded your bloodstream and left you hazy.

“And what, exactly, is it that you wanna do to me, Mr. Murdock?”

Matt’s fingertips brushed lightly along the exposed skin of your bare back, causing a shudder to course through you while his nimble fingers delicately tugged the zipper of your dress agonizingly slow down your back. His stubble tickled against your cheek as he nuzzled your jaw, inhaling your scent deeply while leaving open mouthed kisses down the column of your neck.

“Fuck a baby into you.”

Gripping tightly onto his suit jacket, you were suddenly taken back to that night over a year ago when he’d first made that promise, and his words from that night flowed through your ears. 

I’m gonna marry you someday, Y/N.

I will put a ring on your finger tomorrow. 

I will put a baby in you tonight.

A fresh wave of mixed emotions glossed over your eyes, and Matt slowly pulled back to stare blankly down at your face with an expression of concern as he cradled your face in his hand.

“What is it, angel?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

Matt tilted his head to the side slightly as his honey hazel eyes gazed down at you, tongue darting out to quickly wet his lips before they pulled into a timid smile.

“Was it the wedding you always wanted?”

Bringing your own hand up to cup Matt’s jaw, you pulled him in closer to touch your foreheads together as you whispered softly.

“Of course it was, Matty. You were the groom.”

Matt had been continuously asking you the same question all night, wanting to make sure you were absolutely happy with the biggest day of your lives. Honestly, it had been perfect. Karen had taken over as your unofficial wedding planner, and between her, Marci, and Elektra, you’d hardly had to lift a finger. Getting married in a church wasn’t a huge deal for you since you weren’t religious, but you knew how much it meant to Matt, and you offered to marry him in his church where his parents would’ve married. It was small and intimate, exactly what you both wanted.

The second you stepped through the open doors with Frank, Matt immediately started to cry. You were only a second behind him as soon as you saw him, the two of you gripping onto each other’s hands as Father Lantom led the ceremony, bringing everyone in attendance to tears as you exchanged your heartfelt vows. Matt had captured your lips in a deep kiss as soon as Father Lantom uttered his name, and he lightly smacked him over the back of the head with his bible to remind him that he was in church when the kiss started getting a little too heated for the house of God. Maggie had simply laughed, reminding Father Lantom that Matthew was indeed Jack Murdock’s son.

The reception was held at Josie’s where you had first met Matt over two years ago, courtesy of Karen. Foggy had drunkenly climbed onto the bar to deliver his best man speech which only drew further tears out of everyone from laughter by telling the most embarrassing story he could conjure about Matt from college, and also from the passionate gratitude he showered you in for making his best friend the happiest he had ever seen him.

Matt told me once he thought you were an angel created by God himself, and sent down from Heaven just for him, exactly when he needed you. I believe that’s true. There’s no other explanation for how perfect you are for him. Thank you for bringing my brother the happiness he’s always deserved. I love you both.

Karen could hardly contain her own tears as she spoke fondly about you and Matt, bringing even Frank and Jessica to tears with her sweet words.

I knew the night you met Matt that you loved him. I could see it in your eyes. Thank you for loving him the way that you do. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me as your best friend for you to end up with someone like Matt. Because I know he will take care of you, and protect you, and love you with everything he’s got, and I know you’ll do the same for him. I’m just so happy my two favorite people found each other.

“Today was the happiest day of my life. A day I never honestly thought would come, but I’m so happy it did, and I’m so happy it was with you. I wouldn’t change anything about it. I mean…apart from everyone offering to help you runaway, but.”

A loud laugh slipped past your ears at the annoyed look on Matt’s face, countered by the smirk that was threatening to spill across his lips. You gently squeezed his cheeks to purse his lips into a pout, leaning in to kiss them softly.

“You know they were joking.”

“No, Frank and Elektra were serious. They were actually gonna smuggle you out.”

Giggling softly, you shook your head as you leaned in to press your lips against Matt’s softly once more.

“Well I didn’t run, did I?”

Matt let out a deep exhale through his nose, shaking his head slowly as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“No. Still not sure why you didn’t.”

“There was cake.”

Matt rolled his eyes as he pushed himself up above you, and you giggled uncontrollably as you grabbed onto his tie to pull him back down towards you.

“I’m kidding! You know someone has to keep the Devil in line.”

Matt clicked his tongue against his cheek, narrowing his eyes slightly as he cocked his head to the side and stared down at you with a light smirk.

“That the only reason, then? Because you’re the only one that can?”

“I can think of a few more. Now, I thought you were helping me out of this dress?”

“I was.”

“Then be a good husband, Matthew, and help your wife.”

Matt’s eyes darkened considerably at the sultry tone of your voice, and a devilish grin took over his mouth as your beloved dimples settled in his inner cheeks. He was careful as he slipped the silk gown down your body, laying it carefully over the dresser before attacking your body with kisses once again. You frantically clawed at his jacket and dress shirt, blindly making quick work of his belt, already panting just from the idea of having your husband inside of you. There seemed to be a silent understanding between the two of you that neither of you had the patience for foreplay tonight, and all you both wanted in that moment was to be absolutely consumed by one another. 

As Matt settled between your spread thighs, a wash of nerves made you shiver, and you found yourself placing your shaky palm on his chest over his heart to get his attention.

“Matty…did you…are we…you really want a baby with me? Right now?”

Matt tilted his head in confusion as he let his eyes blankly wander over you, placing his palm flat on the pillow by your head as he leaned in closer towards you. You and Matt had been talking more seriously about starting a family after you got engaged, and you stopped taking birth control a few months before the wedding to make sure it was fully out of your system for when you two were ready to actually start trying.

“Of course I do. Why? Did you change your mind?”

“No! No no, it’s not that. I just…you aren’t going to miss it? I mean…the city means so much to you, Matty, and-”

“Hey, you mean the most to me. You’re the love of my life, sweetheart.”

You wrapped your fingers around Matt’s wrist as he held your face, nibbling at your bottom lip as you let out a shaky breath.

“I know, baby. I just…I know how much you need that part of yourself-”

“Not anymore. All I need is you. I’m still protecting the city, and the people in it, everyday. I’m still helping people. But New York doesn’t really need Daredevil anymore. It has people to protect it, like Luke and Jessica. And Colleen, Danny, even Frank and Elektra. You need me. And the one thing I care more about protecting and keeping safe is you, and our family.”

“I just don’t want you to wake up one day and regret hanging up the suit, or feel any kind of resentment-”

“Sweetheart, listen to me. I could never regret anything with you. How could I feel even an ounce of resentment when you’re offering to give me the greatest gift in the world that I’ll never be able to repay you for, hm?”

Matt carefully wiped a stray tear away from your eye as you reached up to gently grab onto the back of his neck, pulling him down so that his chest was flush to yours as you whispered softly.

“I just want to make you happy, Matty.”

“You do, angel. Everyday. You are my happiness. Now, can I please make love to my wife?”

Matt took his time as he entered you, peppering kisses on every inch of your body he could find, moving his hips lazily as he fucked into you slowly to ensure you both felt everything. Interlacing your fingers together, he held your hands above your head and squeezed them tightly, repeatedly whispering into your ear how much he loved you, how beautiful and perfect you were for him, and how badly he wanted you to give him a baby. Matt pulled your legs tightly around his waist, angling your hips to reach the most delicious depths within you, spilling his seed into the deepest layer of your garden to plant the foundation for the family you both so desperately wanted together. 

Neither of you could get enough, and Matt fucked you sweetly and slowly several more times into the early hours of the night until your bodies simply couldn’t take anymore. He refused to withdraw himself from you, keeping his soft cock nestled within you, preventing any ounce of your future he had emptied into you from slipping out as he wrapped his arms around you from behind. Matt placed his palm over your lower belly, absentmindedly stroking his thumb in slow circles over the first home your child would have.

“I love you so much, angel.”

“I love you so much, Matty.”

Matt was here. Matt loved you. Matt was yours.

tags: @yarrystyleeza @little-miss-dilf-lover @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042 @thychuvaluswife

[vectorisheree]

The relationship / dynamic between TSAMS Sun and Solar is so important to me I'm going to explode like you're really just going to drop the fact that Solar's mindscape is literally shaped after a scene from Charlie and the chocolate factory not because he likes the movie (well, he off handily comments on it 'I did like the mike TV section I guess' but last part comes off as him trying to justify why his mind is based off of it rather than him actually confirming that he enjoys the movie) but because he watched it with ,assumedly, his Sun?? Solar doesn’t specify which Sun he is speaking of (technically, he normally does clarify if he's talking about his home dimension so he's probably talking about our Sun rather than his but let me pretend)

(Putting a cut because this ended up way longer than I thought it was)

Also, personal head cannon for why Sun hasn't really been around on TSAMS since Eclipse came back is because Solar would never forgive himself if he even let the possibility of his brother/cousin getting hurt by himself happen again. Solar has already expressed guilt about how he believes his Sun’s fate is his fault (which it totally wasn’t!! His Sun knew the risks and chose to put himself at risk for Solar’s sake, which honestly shows how close they were that they’d both sacrifice themselves for each other), there’s absolutely no way he’d let another Eclipse hurt a Sun. Like Solar would have literally sacrificed himself for the chance of his Sun getting better as seen back when Eclipse came back the first time and Moon wanted to blow him up with the satellite where he only asks Moon to try to fix his Sun in return for him litterally dying (Which I'm pretty sure Moon never does??) and the fact that he was (sort of) willing to have his original body taken apart by his Moon in the hopes that his Sun would be able to use it

Sun and Solar rarely have one on one interactions (honestly, the only time that really comes to mind is the candy corn video but even then Solar was sort of forced into that situation as he probably wouldn’t be able to get out of the day care without getting eaten or something lol) which I personally think is because of Solar’s guilt, whether it’s because seeing Sun reminds him of his Sun and what happened to him or if he feels like he doesn’t deserve to be friends with Sun after what he feels he did (which could also be why he distances himself from the rest of the family by making himself the ‘cousin’ even though the others see him as close, Moon calls him 'family' when he gives Solar his house address (which is obviously very important and personal information, showing how much he trusts him) and Earth and Lunar list him as their ‘sibling’ in their tier list video) or both

(Apologies if this comes off as very sporadic, it's just the first time putting it into words JFAWJKFKJWAKFJ Like every time I think about this I have to go pace around to calm down like ???? hello???)

[respectthepetty]

10 Anticipated BLs for 2024

Since I'm excited for ALL the GLs (Pluto, 23.5, Sunshine in the Wind, Chaser Game, Be Mine, y todo!), I'm making my list of the 10 BLs I'm excited for this year with brief reasons why I'm looking forward to them. In my normal fashion, I cheat my way into having more. All except one is Thai because Thailand loves to tease series three years in advance, then never make them, but I strongly believe these are coming:

The Next Prince

Zee continues to never play a poor person, and a trailer is supposed to drop in the first quarter of this year. I never knew there was so many fencers on BL Tumblr, so I'm looking forward to everyone's commentary on how well the characters poke with their sticks or whatever fencers do.

Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart

It's a heist BL. It has YinWar. It has Prom x Mark. It has Bonz. It's Dee Hup House (we got beef). It's Director Tee and probably Cinematographer Jim. It might have color coding. There is not one thing I can find wrong with this series. It's perfect on paper, and I'm praying that translates well to the screen.

Spare Me Your Mercy

Like that lady in Titanic, I've been waiting 80 years for this series (give me a minute to cry about MaxTul), and it's finally near! I'm getting JJ & Tor in a Dr. Sammon piece, who I feel writes "Be Gay, Do Crime" very well, so I'll be forgiving any of these two gays' wrongs including murder, attempted murder, contemplating murder, and murdering each other in the bedroom (ahhhh!).

Wandee Goodday

Golf from The Eclipse is directing. It's about Muay Thai. It has an older doctor and a younger boxer who start off as bed friends (and I think one is actually a virgin). It has color coding. It has me already seated and waiting with popcorn, and I think it might be the first offering that will be delivered from GMMTV's 2024 lineup.

Sequels: Choco Milk Shake 2, Unintentional Love Story 2, My Doctor

Is Choco Milk Shake 2 gonna finally give me poly? Probably not, but I hope My Doctor brings the same heat the side couple did in Be Mine, Superstar, and the side couple getting the spotlight in Unintentional Love Story 2 will also make my side-couple-supremacy heart very happy this year.

Live in Love

It looks color coded. That's it. That's the reason. Keeping my expectations low because it might not get made since this is Thailand's favorite game.

Red Peafowl

The character reveals were absolute chaos, so I'm hoping that chaos transfers over to the actual series because it can either be a mess or a masterpiece, but it cannot be mediocre with Max, Cooheart, Boun, Mek, and Yacht as supports. Plus, it has color coding and a bird that is quickly becoming a Tumblr god.

Love Upon a Time

Even though it is a historical queer series, which means it could be sad, I think Domundi will keep the sass, so James' character won't be crying in the 1600s club but instead eating fruit seductively to encourage Net's character to put his homosexual skills into practice instead of simply theorizing about them, which is something I need more of. Plus, it has color coding.

Love Puzzle

This is one that might not get made because . . . Thailand. It's connected to Chains of Heart, but I don't care because the cast looks good and Poppy is gonna finally get to kiss a homie. If this doesn't get made, I will cry thug tears. It's 2024. Poppy deserves to kiss a man already.

My Stand-In

I don't understand the plot, but it doesn't matter because Pepzi and Khom are directing, and in case that means nothing, those were KinnPorsche's directors! Then, it has Up and Poom as the leads, plus a stacked supporting cast. I'm here. I'm queer. And I'm ready to be served.

Honorable Mention: Peaceful Property

It's about los espookys and features Tay and New. Will it be a QL? The streets are saying no, but all the characters are color coded, and all's I'm saying is what would be the point of color coding them if I ain't getting a BL main couple and a GL side couple? It's already canon to me.

Bonus: MosBank & JoongDunk

MosBank had like eighty projects announced for 2023, and I got NONE! Big Dragon 2, Big Dragon: The Movie, SunsetxVibes, where you at?! Y Journey: Stay Like a Local and Club Friday do not count. I don't want to watch their horror movie, but gosh darnit, if that comes out before everything else, I just might.

And I am a JoongDunk fan first, and a human second. Give my boys a gym BL already, GMMTV!

[astrifer777]

GUYS GUYS GUYS

I hate to say this but it finally clicked.

WHAT CLICKED YOU ASK? NO YOU DIDNT BUT HERE WE GOOOO

Now before we start (we meaning me and my rotten brain), this sword is associated with Miquella. We know this because the symbol used in this animation:

Has the symbol associated with Miquella and his Haligtree:

And while scrolling on tumbler I read it's description for the the 30th time. And I quote

A sword made to commemorate the death of Godwyn the Golden, first of the demigods to die.

Infused with the humble prayer of a young boy; "O brother, lord brother, please die a true death."

And it made something click for me that has felt... Odd since the trailer of the DLC dropped. Something that felt wrong.

From bandai namcos elden ring page:

"And now Miquella awaits the return of his promised lord".

And I know obviously this is referring to the player... But wait a minute. Is it? We have never interacted with or met Miquella what so ever. why we he be awaiting our "return"? Why are we his "promised lord"?

Because... We aren't. We don't need to return to a place we've never been. This has bugged me SO MUCH because it feels so... weird for it to be the tarnished. It doesn't make sense even. But if he's awaiting his "Lord Brother".... who has been dead since the before the shattering. He is absolutely waiting for the return of Godwyn... I don't think it's a stretch to say Godwyn is his promised lord.

And we know how Godwyn is gonna come back, or at least miquellas plan from some random ghost:

Lord Miquella, forgive me. The sun has not been swallowed. Our prayers were lacking. Your comrade remains soulless... I will never set my eyes upon it now... Your divine Haligtree.

Soooooo yeah. I think Miquella is awaiting the return of Godwyn. What does this means?

The DLC rotted my brain and I'm probably wrong, but it's what feels right.

(Also also the shadow looks so white and black.... And the sun is much brighter in the background?? And is being eclipsed by the tree, while MIQUELLA POINTS AT IT?????)

ok done now bye bye

[love---mandy]

A Fairy Tail Rant About Lucy in the Grand Magic Games.

So me and my sister have been rewatching Fairy Tail, and it’s been an up and down of enjoyment and infuriation. I love the characters in this series, especially Lucy. Like when I first watched the series I didn’t have very strong opinions on her. I enjoyed her, and I never disliked seeing her on screen. Flash forward a few years I rewatch Fairy Tail, and she’s become my favorite character. Like I love so much about her I swear I devolve into incoherent sounds when I talk about her. Which is why her treatment during the Grand Magic Games pisses me off to no end.

In the only fights she participates in she gets relentlessly abused, and for what?! She looses both of the major fights she’s in. In her first battle Asuka is used as hostage and that allows Flare to beat the daylights out of her (which in my opinion there should’ve been a barrier of some kind in place to prevent things like that from happening, but whatever). Even when Natsu gets rid of the thing preventing Lucy from fighting back, she still looses. Her magic energy gets forcibly taken from her, and Flare wins by default.

Now I could almost forgive this fight, if the same damn thing hadn’t happened in Lucy’s 2nd fight. The next fight feels even more gross cause Lucy’s in a swimsuit the whole time, and there is constant fan service which adds this extra layer of mixed emotions to the fight.

The Lucy vs Minerva fight is my least favorite in the whole GMG arc, and maybe in the whole series because it only serves as a means for us to hate Sabertooth, much in the way Lucy vs Flare made us hate Raventail. Once again Lucy is physically beaten to no end, and in this particular fight it’s, in my opinion, so much worse, and it’s because Minerva won’t let Lucy fall out of the water arena. She pulls her back again and again. And we’re forced to watch this take place just like the rest of the guild. Once again I ask, What is the purpose?! We already dislike both guilds before either of these fights take place. Raventail targets Gray in his battle, and Sabertooth humiliates Yukino, and forces her to leave. So please explain to me why Lucy, and why twice in a row?

Aside from making us hate both guilds, Lucy loosing the way she did served absolutely no purpose. My sister and I constantly talk about how Mashima loves to humiliate his women, especially the strong ones like Erza, which I won’t even start on cause that’s a whole other rabbit hole I do not want to think about. So if you look at Lucys fights with that angle, it all makes sense. I could just be blinded by my anger, but I swear nothing like this ever happens to any other character in the whole series (And I what I mean is being beaten to hell, only to lose).

Lucy is used as a device for anger in her fights. And she doesn���t even get to prove herself. Both moments where she is able to show off what she’s got, get forcibly taken from her.

I know she does helm the Eclipse Gate stuff, but her fights in The Games left such a sour taste that it almost over shadows so much of what she does.

This post is very all over so forgive me, but I just needed to be mad that in the Games themselves, she doesn’t get to do anything cool. She gets tortured, and robbed of any chance at a victory.

I love Lucy so so much, and i think she deserved better then loosing all of her fights.

[craftingcreatures]

So this post said it way more eloquently and comprehensively than I ever could, but I've been mulling it over for a while and I wanna talk about it anyway.

I've been watching the Owl House lately and honestly I'm kinda in love with the way the show handles redemption. I see so many people in the fandom complaining about how the multiple villain redemption arcs are unearned, or that they get forgiven too easily, but like... isn't that the whole point? Redemption isn't earned, it's given. And I love the characters in the Owl House because they are brilliant examples of this principle.

Take Lilith, for example - she cursed her sister out of petty jealousy and in doing so subjected her to a life of ostracization, broken relationships, and suffering. Multiple people got seriously hurt because of Lilith's choice, most notably her own father. And instead of owning up to her mistakes she kept her involvement secret for decades, pledging loyalty to an oppressive dictator and climbing the ranks of the dictator's private army/police force in pursuit of her own ambition. Instead of confronting her own mistakes, she tried to cover them up. She attempted to absolve herself of guilt by quietly removing the consequences of her own choices (convincing Belos to remove the curse) without compromising her own goals. And she continued to hurt people in pursuit of this goal (leading multiple coven scouts to their deaths at the hands of an eldritch nightmare demon bird worm, using Luz as a human shield while attempting to subdue Eda). So when she eventually does confront her own guilt and turns a 180 on her character, a lot of people can't quite comprehend just how quickly Eda and Luz accept her, as if forgiveness was a foregone conclusion. In fact I don't think the word "forgive" was even mentioned.

Pretty much the same thing could be said for Amity, or Hunter, or the Collector. (There are a lot of redeemed villains in this show and I absolutely love it; redemptions are definitely my favourite trope in media.) The moment a villain confronts their villainy and chooses to change their behaviour, the protagonists welcome them with open arms. Often the protagonists begin reaching out to them even before they start to show signs of remorse, like with Luz and Amity in Lost in Language, or Luz and Hunter in Hunting Palismen and Hollow Mind, or Amity and Hunter in Eclipse Lake, or Amity and Luz in Reaching Out. As I said before, forgiveness is a foregone conclusion; the only thing preventing it is the villain's genuine decision to stop being a villain (which is neatly illustrated by the season 3 finale; Luz tells the Collector that he "did good" when he tries to extend forgiveness to an unrepentant Belos, and when Belos later feigns innocence Luz and the others see right through him. Belos' repentance wasn't genuine, and so couldn't be met with forgiveness).

A kind of inversion of this principle can be seen in Luz' character arc in season 2b and season 3. Luz blames herself for Belos' meeting the Collector, leading to Belos learning the draining spell and later the Collector's awesome and uncontrolled power being unleashed on the Boiling Isles while Luz and her friends are trapped in the human realm. From Luz' point of view, she is directly responsible for the rise of a despot and the probable deaths of almost everyone she loves. And she hates herself for it. In Thanks to Them she has an outburst where she basically wishes she'd never been born. One of the most heartbreaking moments in the entire show, for me, was when Luz asked her mother "why aren't you mad at me?". She clearly expects the people around her to reject her, to hate her, to treat her with the performative expectations that she explicitly doesn't expect from the antagonists in the show, even the ones who have acted far worse than she has (see Lilith, above), and she can't understand why they don't. Luz thinks she doesn't deserve forgiveness, when she has freely offered forgiveness to everyone she's ever met regardless of whether they deserved it. And once again The Owl House displays the theme of redemption by all the people around her working to reach out to her, to give her a redemption that Luz doesn't think she's earned. Once again, redemption is given, not worked for.

Look, I make no secret of the fact that I'm a Christian on this blog. And I understand that the overlap between "people who are Christians" and "people who watch The Owl House" is probably very small. But I just can't help but see something so profoundly beautiful in this show, so profoundly Christian, because this repeated motif of freely offered redemption to anyone who wants it is a perfect illustration of one of Christianity's core tenets. Redemption is not earned - it is given. The offer of total forgiveness and reconciliation is already extended, even to the worst offenders, even before the offender acknowledges their offense. There's nothing I can do to earn it; no self-flagellation needed to prove that I'm in earnest, no great deed I have to do to convince God that I'm worthy of forgiveness. The forgiveness is already there, waiting.

Kinda makes you think, doesn't it? The Owl House is a show about witchcraft, with very prominent and positively depicted LGBT+ relationships, and with a primary antagonist who is heavily implied to be a conservative Christian. It would be hard to have a piece of media that more explicitly rejects the normal cultural values of North American conservative Christianity. And yet this show displays a better understanding and celebration of Christian redemptive ethics than a significant proportion of actual Christians. I'm sure a lot of people would clutch their pearls and call it anti-Christian propaganda, but at its heart the Owl House is built on the fundamental Christian value of radical love.

I dunno. I just really like the Owl House.

[sleepingdeath-light]

How about hexsquad (separately) reacting to reader flinching because of them? Like full on head cover n stuff

-Eclipse Anon

As this is relatively short and sweet, I decided to just pop my thoughts in here rather than making an entirely separate post. The cause for the reader being afraid or flinching away is left pretty ambiguous, so feel free to interpret the lead up however you want.

Thoughts under the cut!

Amity Blight

she’d feel absolutely terrible and so ashamed of herself for the fact that you felt the need to protect yourself from her. amity would never hurt you and she thought you knew that — but clearly she was wrong. she’ll stop whatever it is she’s doing and will immediately tear up and start apologising, practically sobbing when she decides to walk away. she doesn’t want to scare you any further so she’ll remove herself from the situation until you’re ready to talk to her — but she may never forgive herself for making you fear her. she feels like her mother and she hates it.

Gus Porter

he has no idea how to react to you flinching away from him because nobody has ever been that scared around him before. and the fact that it’s happening with you makes him feel a thousand times worse. gus stumbles over his words and his feet as he rushes to comfort you and apologise, promising to never do what scared you again for as long as he lived — just please look at him. does a lot of work to make sure this never happens again, but carries the guilt of it around with him for a long time afterwards.

Hunter Wittebane

he’ll freeze on the spot when he sees you cowering away from him and flinching away from his touch — you look so much like he did back when he was under his uncle’s control. and that breaks his heart. he doesn’t know what to say to make it better and he feels so disgusted with himself that he can’t comprehend it. he’d probably end up fetching darius or a friend to comfort you whilst removing himself — but i don’t think this is something he’d be able to recover from any time soon.

Luz Noceda

she’ll immediately stop what she’s doing and go to comfort you. she’s fearful and apologising, repeating that she never meant to scare you and that she’d never hurt you — not in a billion years. luz is so gentle with you whilst she’s trying to calm you down from your fear, in her faint touches and shaky but loving voice, and she’s successful. she talks you down and you two have a conversation about boundaries and concerns so you never have to experience this again.

Willow Park

she knows that she can be intimidating sometimes, but she never thought that there was even a possibility of you being afraid of her — which was clearly a miscalculation on her end. her immediate response is to stop talking and assess the situation before going to comfort you. willow coaxes you into looking at her so she can apologise properly and she’ll ask if you want to talk about it. but either way she’s as patient as ever and accepts her part in your response with guilt and grace.

[mechformers]

Ma Miles - Ch. 19

11.8k words

Chapter warning: Food? Handfeeding? Arguing? Idk anymore XD

Wow... um, although I am so late and I do apologize for that, this chapter just kept growing and growing until it became a monster lol We ended up with 11.876 words for this chapter alone... So, with that, I do hope you'll enjoy! Leave me a comment and make me the happiest little writer alive? :3

(If you want to be tagged with the updated chapters, please leave your @ myusername in the comments!)

Previous chapter | Masterpost | Chapter 20

Flying with Hawnu doesn’t bring you half the comfort you had hoped it would. Spider has turned in your arms, legs locking behind your back as he holds onto you, comforting you as if you were the one who needed comfort. You’re afraid to squeeze him too hard against you, but as your tears keep falling, you’re absolutely helpless to do anything but hide your face against his shoulder while holding him closer still. 

“I’m alright, Mom,” Spider mumbles, a little breathless, and immediately, you loosen your tight hold on him. 

“I’m supposed to protect you,” Your voice sounds pathetic even to your own ears, but Spider looks up at you with sad eyes. 

“You do - you always do, Mom,” His beautiful brown eyes glitter in the sun and for just a moment, you let yourself commit them to memory once more. 

“I wasn’t there for you to protect you against that - against your father,” You reel your anger in for the sake of your son, but by the way he sighs, it’s evident that your attempt at not calling his father names has failed. 

“Mom, I know you’re disappointed with him, I am too. But the moment I was in danger, he gave it all up - to save me,” Spider’s eyes plead with you as he advocates for his father. “He had Jake, he had him, Mom. But when I stepped forward, his panic was real,”

“He had no right taking you - taking the children. To use them in his game of war,” Although you want to ask, although you want to know what happened, you don’t. 

“He doesn’t know our ways, Mom,” Spider still defends him and it makes you angry that your son can be this forgiving. 

“It doesn’t matter if the demon knows our ways or not,” You sneer, the anger inside you bubbling to the surface, “He should have kept all children sacred. Should protect them with everything that he is,”

Spider flinches in your arms and immediately, regret fills you. It wasn’t often that you argued like this, disagreeing - sure - but not straight out arguing. 

“He wasn’t going to hurt Kiri,” Your son squares his shoulders as he narrows his eyes at you and at that moment, he resembles the demon so much. 

“You don’t know that,” You growl down at him, watching as his beautiful eyes filled with an emotion you never wanted to see in your son. 

“I know him better than you ever will if you think he’d kill a child,” Spider sneers, and the sheer venom and disgust behind his words takes you by surprise. 

You’re helpless to keep him from turning in your arms, to stare blankly ahead as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. You should probably find comfort in the way he still trusts you to catch him, should he slide off of Hawnu, but you don’t. You’ve never had an argument like this before, never shared heated words like these. It makes you take a step back, to look at what you know, and analyze it once more. In the back of your head, you can feel Mo’at’s eyes staring at you, silently waiting for you to come to her while she offers her silent support. By the time you circle back to the village, the eclipse is nearly upon you. You haven’t spoken a word since Spider hit you with his cold facts. But still, how could you trust that that was the truth? 

“Will you tell me what happened?” You ask Spider, noticing how his soldiers hitch up to protect his neck, “Please,”

“He doesn’t know who he is, Mom,” Spider’s voice is so small you almost miss it, but it makes the impact of his words that much more important to you. 

“How do you mean?” You don’t know if it’s the right question, but you hope that your son will allow you room for error nonetheless. 

“He… He was made in a lab, like Jake, but he died all those years ago when Neytiri killed him,” The mention of Neytiri makes betrayal burn hot within you, but you bite your tongue, patiently waiting for Spider to collect his thoughts. 

“They put his memories and personality in a soul stick and when his new body was ready, they put it into his mind. When he woke up, when all of them woke up, they still thought they were human,” What Spider tells you makes sense in a way it shouldn’t have. What would it be like to wake up as someone you were not? 

“But he’s not that man anymore. He said it himself, the others said he had changed too. Said he’s kinder,” Spider continues, his voice low, so confident in the words he speaks. “He doesn’t know what to do anymore because of you,”

“Because of me?” You can’t help the surprise that enters your voice as you look down at the back of your son’s head. 

“You showed him what a family was supposed to be, Mom,” The words are spoken so low as if he can’t believe that you didn’t already know. “You taught them about patience and respect, you gave them the knowledge they needed to be their own person,”

“But he still has to answer to the General, Mom,” The mention of that vile woman makes you hiss in response as your ears snap back against your skull. “What he did isn’t right and I’m not excusing his actions, but he was their leader. He tried to do what was best for them,”

“Killing Jake will not help them,” You counter back, only for Spider to sigh. 

“No, but it would have kept the General from threatening them,” Your son turns his head to level you with a stare he rarely used, one who told you that whatever he was saying, no matter how outlandish, was the truth. 

You had learned the hard way what it meant to cross his stare, had learned the hard way the consequences it would have. The first and only time you had brushed it away, it had nearly cost him his life had it not been for Hawnu. From that day on, no matter how wild what he told you was, while wearing that expression, you had taken his words to heart as if it was Eywa herself delivering the message.

“What do you mean?” You ask evenly, pushing your emotions aside to give him your full attention. 

“They thought I wouldn’t understand or thought I didn’t hear, but she threatened him with their lives every opportunity she had. She told him how he needed to show her some results, how he needed to prove to her that her faith in them wasn’t misplaced,” Spider’s face grows helpless as he tells you what he’s heard, a desperation you never wanted to hear again entering his voice as he continued, “But she meant him, Mom. She meant that he needed to prove to her that her faith in him wasn’t misplaced, or else…”

You knew this to be the truth. Even if he hadn’t overheard the threats, even if she had underestimated Spider because he was a child, thinking that he wouldn’t understand. In the deepest pit of your soul, you knew that this woman, this the General Ardmore, would try to manipulate the devil to do her bidding. The unit had been the only ones he held dear, the only ones he cared about - often on behalf of his own wellbeing. His exhausted face when entering your room in the early hours of the morning was still fresh in your mind. The way he would collapse beside your nest to catch a few hours of sleep before he was up again, ready to lead his unit. If you were being honest with yourself, you had known that he worked himself to the bones to secure his unit’s wellbeing, and now; you knew this to be the truth. 

“Mom?” Spider questions, his voice uncertain and small, so unlike the confident young man he had become. 

“Alright,” You tell him, meeting his eyes, “Alright,”

“Yeah?” The hope shining in his beautiful brown eyes makes your heart tighten painfully. 

“Yeah,” You parrot, promising him that you will find a way to guide the demon, to steer him right once more. 

You watch as Spider sighs with relief before he turns back to stare ahead toward the village in the distance. Leaning back against you, he holds onto your forearm as you wrap it around him to hold him close to you. Leaning down, you breathe in the mess of his hair, closing your eyes as his scent brings you comfort.

“I’m sorry,” You mumble against him, squeezing him harder.

“I’m sorry too, Mom,” Your son bands his head back to smile up at you and just like that, it feels as if nothing can hurt you again, not as long as he’s happy and safe. 

Hawnu lands carefully on the sandy beach you had first arrived at, his powerful wings bending in to allow the two of you easy access. Mo’at lands behind you, the older woman gracefully sliding off from her own ikran before sending it away. She has been uncharacteristically quiet since arriving at the Metkayina islands, uncharacteristically quiet whenever she was teaching you. 

“There is a basket with food waiting for you by your kelku, Spider,” Mo’at hums as she comes to a stop beside you, silently asking for your time. 

“Eat well, my son,” You smile as Spider turns to leave, his smile knowing as he looks back at you. 

“He will be a mighty leader one day,” Mo’at hums her voice soft, curtain in a way only a Tsahìk’s voice could be when speaking of the future. 

“I want you to take up tsakarem,” And there it was, what Mo’at had been chewing on, the cause for her silence since leaving their home behind. 

“I can not be tsakarem, Tsahìk,” You counter, hoping that she will understand. “I do not possess the blessing needed by the Great Mother,

“What you possess or not, is not up to you to decide, child,” Mo’at snaps back, her voice firm, leaving no space for argument. 

“Even if the Great Mother would send me a sign, guiding me toward such an honorable purpose, I do not have the time to dedicate to these studies. I must take care of my child and I must decide on what to do next,” It’s obvious that Mo’at had not expected you to deny her wishes, her lips thinning as her eyes narrow minutely. 

“Your son is a man, even though he can not pass his Iknimaya,” The Tsahìk strikes back as if this conversation is a battle of wills. 

“My son,” You bite out, unable to keep the exhausted tears from swimming in your eyes as you steel yourself against your Tsahìk, “Is a child who has been through events I would not have wished on my greatest enemy. He will require time to heal,” 

Mo’at huffs at that, her hands tightening into fists by her sides while her lips thin further. It’s clear as the eclipse that your Tsahìk does not agree, but you are Spider’s mother. If anyone knows what he needs, it would be you. The tears you had been fighting to keep at bay fall, one following the other until you’re silently crying in front of your Tsahìk

“Do not baby him, Y/n,” Mo’at sighs, tsking at you as she seemingly decides to let the conversation go for now. “The Great Mother has spoken about your futures, you will not be able to deny her plans for you,”

And with that, your Tsahìk leaves you on the beach to turn her words around in your head. ‘Your futures,’ keeps spinning around until your head starts hurting. If Mo’at has received a sign from Eywa, would she not have told you about it already? Would you not have received a sign too? The memory of dancing atokirinas comes to mind but you push it away immediately, not wanting to think about your mistake. 

With a deep sigh, you leave the sandy beach behind. You’re not really hungry as you pass the communal meals. Neytiri’s eyes catch yours where she sits with her family, Neteyam nestled close between Jake and her. You don’t want to look at her, don’t want to talk with her. When Neytiri rises, Jake grabs her hand, shaking his head before smiling gently at you. A part of you that’s not hurt by the two, thanks him for understanding that you need space. But the part that is still bleeding makes you avert your eyes as you continue to walk back to your kelku. 

You’re happy to realize that it’s quiet inside. The warriors that stand guard, greet you gently as you walk toward the entrance of your kelku. But from across the room, yellow eyes meet yours, halting you in your stride. Turning your back to the demon, you close the flap, just to occupy your hands. You hadn’t wanted to go to sleep yet, but with the demon still awake, seemingly awaiting our arrival, you’re left with few options. One by one, you fasten the buckles that keep the harsh night winds from chilling your sleeping bodies, bathing your kelku in darkness, only to be illuminated by the pit in the middle. 

Walking over to your nest, you can’t help the smile that crosses your lips as you look down on Spider’s sleeping form. It seems that no matter how old he gets, he never stops curling in on himself with his blankets. Getting in behind him, you curl protectively against his back, wrapping your arm around him to hold him close. You still dread the day he will be too old for this, for the day he will make his own kelku and leave yours to live alone or hopefully, with a mate that adores him. Leaning forward you kiss the back of his head before closing your eyes. 

Behind you, the demon sighs before the rustling of his own blankets fills the quiet kelku. He groans as he gets up from his nest before heavy footsteps take him to your own. Coming to a stop behind you, you’re unable to keep your shoulders from rising to protect your neck, your ears pinning flat to your skull. Kneeling by your nest, the demon breathes heavily as he decides on what to do, eventually finding his resolve as he takes a deep breath.

“For what it’s worth, I am sorry, sweetheart,” The demon rumbles, his voice husky and deep. 

He kneels there for a while longer before getting up, walking over to lie down in his own nest, the blankets rustling before he quiets down. Slowly, you let out a breath you weren’t even aware of holding. Your heart hurts for him, for the pain he has caused you… for the cold distance between you. Trying your best, you eventually fall into an uneasy sleep, the events of the day playing in your mind, torturing you in your fitful sleep. By the look of the demon the next morning, he had fared no better. 

Opening your kelku, you welcome the fog-like wind as you greet the early morning. The sun had yet to fully rise by the time the flaps to your kelku were all rolled open and attached to the sides. It gave you time to sit by the sea-facing opening while Spider slept, your legs dangling over the edge toward the water as you sliced open the spartan fruit in your hand. It isn’t long before the demon’s long legs join yours, his toes touching the water's surface as he sits down beside you. The silence stretches on, neither one of you knowing what to say to the other, so instead, you hand him half of the spartan fruit you had slices open. Together, you watch the sunrise bathing the village in the bright light of day, in silence. Spartan fruit long since gone, you distantly worry if the demon needed more than half a fruit, but as you get up to fetch another, Jake and Tonowari knock on the wall outside, making their presence known. 

“Good morning,” Jake greets, his ears pinned to his skull as his tail twitches anxiously behind him. 

“Good morning, Jake,” You smile reassuringly at him, hoping to put him to ease. 

“I see you,” Tonowari greets formally, but the smile on his face is anything but, “I see you, Spider,”

Looking behind you, you can’t help the chuckle that leaves your throat as you take in the sleepy state of your son. His eyes are thin slits as he sleepily greets Tonowari back, his messy hair sticking out in odd directions. He looks as if he’s slept hard, something that makes all of them smile fondly as he works his way through greeting Jake, all but falling asleep in the middle. 

“Demon, I trust you are healing?” Tonowari addresses the demon, his shoulders squaring as he levels him with a look. 

“I am,” The demon replies, foregoing all formalities as he tries to cross his arms over his chest only to wince in pain. 

“Good,” Tonowari hums before turning his head toward you again, “Y/n, as your companion and your responsibility, you are to resume his lessons, teaching the demon the Na’vi way. Jake Sully will teach him how to hunt, how to ride tsurak,”

“W-w-what’s he saying about Sully?” The demon stutters in desperation to understand what’s been said, waving his hand toward you while his tail twitches anxiously behind him. 

“Be quiet, demon,” You hiss at him, only for Spider to snort from your nest, making the two of you snap your heads in his direction. 

“Hey, I didn’t say anything,” Spider grins, throwing his hands up in the same way his father and Jake do. 

“What do this mean?” You growl with frustration, doing the same hand gesture, “I do not know this hand thing,” 

“What do you mean you don’t know what it means?” The demon hums from behind as he moves closer, repeating the gesture, “It’s universally known,” 

“Yeah, I always assumed you knew,” Jake parrots the demon’s confusion as he too steps closer, doing the same hand gesture. “Everyone knows what this means,”

“I know this meaning,” Tonowari proclaims proudly. Still, neither one of them actually takes the time to explain it to you, until the demon’s eyes land on you and immediately his face softens. 

“It means that we come in peace, that we mean no harm,” The demon offers, his voice low and gentle. “It means that we surrender,”

“Why do you not say that?” You ask, your confusion only deepening. 

“Why do you do the gesture with your hand while greeting each other?” The demon counters just as quickly, his face open, welcoming the discussion. 

“It is the way of the people,” You reply proudly, your shoulders squaring with your response. 

“Well, sweetheart, this is the way of my people,” His hands come up once more to demonstrate and for once, you cannot fault him. 

Nodding your understanding, you take a deep breath as you try to remember the meaning of the gesture, memorizing it. You have always respected other cultures and their customs, you were not about to stop with his just because he was not of this world. You had respected his weird tweng and armor, had respected their unit clans and their ranks - their different purposes within the unit. If this gesture was the way of the sky people, then it was one you would have to memorize, if not for the demon, then for the sake of your son. 

Tonowari looks so confused where he stands and it’s only then that it occurs to you that he doesn’t know the English. Looking at Jake, he doesn’t seem worried at all, but it doesn’t make it right. Immediately, your tail twitches anxiously behind you which draws Jake’s attention quicker than it should have, seeing as he wasn’t even looking in your direction. You get the unsettling feeling that your old Olo’eyktan sees more than he lets on. 

“If you are to learn the Na’vi way, we will speak the language of the people,” You turn your head to look at the demon, watching how his face scrunches up as he tries to follow what you just said. 

“Fair enough,” The demon starts only for his ears to flatten against his skull as you hiss at him, “Okay, okay,”

“You should heed your ma-” Tonowari starts but Jake coughs loudly, beating his fist against his chest loudly while sending Tonowari a look you can’t decipher. It’s obvious that he has just stopped the Olo’eyktan from saying something, but as you narrow your eyes at Jake to explain, he feigns ignorance. 

“As I was saying; you should heed your teacher,” Tonowari continues, changing up his words, but you do still not recognize what made Jake interrupt his words, “She will teach you everything you need to know and together, we will teach you about the water,”

“Every morning, you will learn to be one with the sea” Tonowari gestures to Jake and Spider, and you note how they both smile gently at you.

The mention of the sea, however, has the demon taking a quick breath as he stiffens beside you. His tail twitches anxiously as his ears lower, narrowing to sharp points against his skull once more. Immediately, the nurturing side of you latches on. You’re helpless to witness as your hand reaches out to gently hold his forearm as you smile softly, encouragingly, up at him when his head snaps to look at you. 

“You do not know the water,” Tonowari looks directly at the demon, noting his reaction, before his gaze turns to yours, “But you will,” 

“I would suggest communal meals to be a good place to start. Your son already knows some of the people and you already know the Sullys. You have my word that you will be safe here, but he is of the sky people, he has caused a lot of suffering. The demon’s path will not be easy and by association, yours might be tainted too,” The big man speaks gently, slowly as if to help the demon with understanding what’s being said. 

You know he’s been successful when the demon’s eyes turn to you once more, his face scowling while he’s deep in thought. He seems to have understood what the Olo’eyktan had said, only to find that he didn’t like the implication of the words spoken. His tail whips quickly behind him in agitation, but his ears rotate, open and attentive, toward you. It’s obvious to everyone that he’s having a battle within himself, one he eventually knows the outcome of as he huffs air through his nose and looks at Tonowari. To everyone’s surprise, he nods his head while gesturing ‘I see you’. It seems to be the right course of action when Tonowari mirrors the gesture before turning back to Jake. The two men mumble something to each other, but all your attention is on the demon, your own tail moving behind you as your ears turn to him, curiosity clawing at the back of your mind. 

“You hungry?” Jake asks a few moments later and just like that, your spell is broken. 

“We are,” You reply as if it wasn’t already obvious that you would be hungry after yesterday’s events. 

Reaching out for Spider, you bend down to kiss his hand once he grabs yours. Smiling down at him you can see just how pleased he is with the outcome and it occurs to you that he has been worried about what would happen with his father and you. Turning your head to the demon you nod your head toward the entrance of your kelku, gesturing to him to follow you. Jake’s looking at you with an almost pained expression, but when you move past him, he follows beside the demon. Spider leads you through the village, excitedly chatting about the new adventures he and Lo’ak are going on. He keeps talking about Payakan and how he’s such an amazing creature. It stings your heart when you realize that you can’t remember who Payakan is, but then you enter the communal meal and all the heads of the clan turn to stare at you. 

Immediately, your ears pin closer to your skull, your tail wrapping around Spider’s small thigh to keep him close as he leads you through the people to where the rest of the Sullys already sit waiting. Neytiri’s expression is pained when she looks up at you, her own expression mirroring yours as her tail wraps around Neteyam. She’s just as unable to help the response as you were and for just a moment, your own pained and betrayed emotions are shoved to the side to see Neytiri for who she really is - a mother to another mother. The way you stand frozen in the middle of the communal circle is awkward, giving the people something to look at while they eat. A gentle hand grabs your shoulder and for a moment, you’re helpless you reach up to put your own hand over the long digits, squeezing hard as you hold the demon’s hand. You hate to admit that his reassurance grounds you, that his presence calms you enough to break out of your frozen state. But when he moves in front of Spider and you, your hand still clasped in his, your confusion sets in. 

His entire body is rigid, his tail whipping agitatedly behind him while his own ears are pinned back against his skull. Still, he bends his head and gestures “I see you,” to Neytiri, the older woman growling deep in her chest before she does the same. You’re so confused when he leads your little fami - when he leads you to the place beside Mo’at, greeting her the same way. 

“Corporal,” The demon rumbles when he has ushered you to sit, “Can you show me where to get food?”

Immediately, you hiss at him and his stubborn mind. The demon’s ears rotate forward to you, open and wide as he curiously looks down at you with his hands open between you - the sky people gesture for not meaning any harm. 

“Can you show food?” The demon stumbles through the sentence, making the people close enough to hear snicker loudly.

The demon’s ears snap back against his skull as his tail twitches anxiously behind him. He’s growling deep in his chest, the sound almost painful with how deep it is. Yet he only stares at Jake, waiting for him. 

“Come on, Quaritch,” Jake huffs a chuckle as he shakes his head before walking off. 

It leaves you alone with the eyes of what feels like the entirety of the Awa'atlu village pinned on you. It’s uncomfortable, but when you look down at Spider, he doesn’t seem to care about the attention. Looking further, you note how Neytiri doesn’t look at you, her ears still folded down against her skull, where she sits beside her son, his hand in hers as she draws invisible nonsense in his hand. Looking down at your own son’s hand still in yours, you notice how you’re doing the exact same thing. You’re unable to help the breathless chuckle that leaves you at the realization. 

“I trust you have found rest, my child?” Mo’at hums from beside you, her all-seeing eyes looking through your soul. 

“It was fitful, Tsahìk,” You respond honestly, knowing that she would see the truth whether you responded or not. 

“Your path will not be easy, child. Are you prepared to walk it before the eyes of the Great Mother?” The look in Mo’at’s eyes tells you that there’s something she’s not saying, that there’s a knowledge of the future that she is not entrusting you with for whatever reason. 

“If it is Eywa’s will, then I will walk it,” It’s not the response you want to give, but it is the only one you can give. 

You got yourself into this situation, not, you must trudge the path that slowly builds before you, trusting that the Great Mother will not desert you, that the path will be sure - strong and just - as it’s built. Mo’at looks up at something beside you, a knowing smile on her lips before her eyes shift to Jake as he bends down in front of her and presents a food wrap. 

“Here,” The demon mumbles in front of you, his tall frame hunched down into a crouch. 

“Thank you,” You hum without looking at him, reaching out to take the offered food wrap. 

It doesn’t cross your mind before the demon gave Spider food and sat down beside Mo’at with his own food wrap, that you had just accepted the demon’s courting advances once more in front of the people. Mo’at looks at you with that same knowing smile, as your ears droop with the realization of what you have just done. Jake is staring at you with curiosity, a gentle, crooked smile on his lips. Neytiri looks disgusted while Neteyam grins beside her, the mirth in his eyes so much like his father. Looking down at Spider, his beautiful brown eyes glitter in the warm morning light as he looks up at you with a happy smile and just like that, even though you had decided on the demon’s ignorance of the gesture, you would do it all again just to see this expression on your son’s face again. 

Sighing, you unwrap the food, bending the leaves back only for your eyes to shoot up in surprise, meeting the hopeful yellow of the demon. He looks at you intently, waiting for you to eat, as if he’s aware of what he’s doing. Snapping your eyes over to Jake, you’re met with the smuggest expression you have ever seen on the Toruk Makto before he lifts his hands in the air before his chest and shrugs innocently. Narrowing your eyes at him only makes him laugh, however. Looking down at the food in your hand, you take a deep breath, closing your eyes for just a second before picking a bite of your favorite food, bringing it to your lips, officially sealing your acceptance of his courting. In your peripheral sight, you can see the demon’s ears have rotated towards you, open and wide, as he waited. Pleased with what he sees, his tail twitches happily as he digs into his own food. 

The people watch you while you eat, their eyes boring into your every action as you eat. It’s humiliating to be watched this closely as if your very existence is a spectacle for them to entertain themselves with. It makes you angry, sad, and despaired as there’s absolutely nothing you can do about the situation. So instead, you try to consecrate on Spider, watching how your son digs into his breakfast as if he was starving. It’s only then that you notice that his food wrap had freshly diced yovo fruit in them. In surprise, your eyes shoot up to look at the demon, his own eyes already trained on you, observing you. Beside him, Mo’at chuckles to herself, but the sound is enough to tear the demon’s eyes away from yours, giving you an out to look down at your food instead. The demon was providing for your son and you, showing you that he was worthy enough to court you, that you would not regret accepting his advances. 

The realization sank like a heavy stone to the deepest pit of your stomach. You had accepted his advances before, no matter how innocent or accidental, and look where that had brought you. Lost in your own thoughts, you didn’t notice how everyone finished their breakfast or when they got up to leave for their chores. A hand reaches forward toward you and instinctively, you grab it, sighing with comfort as the long digits wrap around your hand, holding it firmly, but carefully. Looking up, you’re rudely awoken once more, but it’s already too late. The demon gently pulls you up to your feet, steadying you with a hand on your hip as he smiles gently down at you. Whispers and disgusted sneers surround you as the people pass by, but you’re lost in the demon’s eyes. As if drowning, looking up toward the sunny surface, you search his yellow orbs, noticing the different colors that dance within them. 

You had given this man so much, yet, he had only taken until he got what he wanted. He had endangered your son in his chase for revenge, had caused so much pain and suffering wherever he went. He was the bringer of death but caught in his sharp orbs, you’re unable to see the more - unable to see unsee the imminent rebirth that always follows in destruction’s wake. If Eywa be willing, maybe he would be the rebirth of the man he had once been. Still, he was a sky demon who clung to his past. You were uncertain if Eywa would ever be able to touch him again, uncertain if the Great Mother possessed such powers.

“Mom?” Spider hums beside you and reluctantly, you blink, breaking the connection with the demon still holding you. 

“I’m alright,” You croak, your voice nothing but a whisper as you step away from the demon, putting some much-needed distance between you. “Are you full?”

“Yeah,” Spider grins, looking up at his father with a glint in his eyes, “I’m pretty stuffed,”

“Bro!” Lo’ak shouts from the other side, waving his hand excitedly as a few other kids join him. “You coming or what?” 

“Yeah, bro! Be right there,” Spider shouts back, an even bigger grin on his face as Kiri walks up beside him, her eyes trained on the demon. 

“We’ll be back tonight,” Spider hums, taking Kiri’s hand before taking a step toward the other kids, only to stop and turn back. “I love you, Mom,”

“I love you too, Spider,” You smile gently, feeling your heart bloom at your son’s love. “Be careful, alright?”

“Always,” He grins ad Kiri snorts behind him, pulling his hand to join her as she rolls her hands.

Still smiling, you take a step after them, watching as the children chuckle and poke fun at each other when they meet. Spider is so small compared to the other kids, but as the oldest child of Tonowari wraps a hand around his shoulder, he looks as if he’s found his place in this village. Behind you, the demon steps closer, his heat radiating between you. There’s a hand squeezing your shoulder gently and it’s only then that you realize that you’re clutching your chest with both hands. 

“He like her,” The demon hums gently, his voice nothing but a series of rumbles that flow deliciously over your body. “She like him too,”

“Oh, hell no, Quaritch,” Jake barks suddenly, and just like that, the pissing contest is on again. 

“What? You thinking my son is no good for you daughter?” The demon snarks calmly, his voice freezingly cold and dangerous as he stumbles through the Na’vi language. 

“Kiri is too young to have a boyfriend,” Jake counters, smoothly dancing past the question, but it doesn’t fool the demon. 

“Well, she’s not good enough for my son, how bout that, Corporal?” The demon growls, leaning forward to challenge Jake. 

“Kiri is better than your son, she’s out of his league,” Jake hisses back, only for Neytiri to grab his shoulder firmly. 

“What is this you’re saying?” You can hear your voice whisper, but the sound isn’t familiar to you. 

“Shit,” Jake huffs, hand coming up to angrily rub at his temple as he shuffles back and forth on his feet. 

“Apologize, ma Jake” Neytiri hisses none too gently, her voice furious as she scowled at him. 

“You can’t be serious, babe, he -” Jake starts, but Neytiri’s hold on his shoulder tightens painfully, making him hiss and narrow his own eyes. 

“I do not care,” Her eyes speak to him without words. They’re sharp and dangerous enough for Jake to lower his ears submissively and nod his head in understanding. 

“I apologize,” Jake grounds, unable to meet the demon’s eyes, his tail thrashing angrily behind him. 

It’s clear to everyone that he doesn’t mean what he’s saying. But it doesn’t matter, because a second later, the demon chuckles breathlessly as he prepares to shoot back. He doesn’t manage to get more than his mouth to open before you smack him in the chest with the back of your hand, turning your head to scowl at him. Immediately, the gleeful sneer slips from his face and his comeback dies on his tongue. Lowering his ears, he grumbles, fighting your command for him to shut up, before he eventually takes a deep breath and sighs, nodding his head once while staring at Jake. Meeting Neytiri’s eyes, you watch as her ears rotate hopefully toward you, but you’re not ready yet. Instead, you wrap your hand around the demon’s wrist and pull him with you as you leave the communal meal, heading for your kelku. 

The demon doesn’t say anything when you let go of his hand, stomping your feet over to the fruit bowls left on the floor. Grabbing them, you angrily get to washing the wood, using way too much force while you do. Behind you, the demon steps closer without saying anything, but his presence still burns your back, the heat from his body higher than yours. You don’t know how long you keep washing the bowl, but when his hand gently meets the skin of your shoulder, you see that you’re still cleaning the same bowl you started on. Embarrassed, you snap your head back toward him and growl. 

“What?!” It comes out so much harsher than you had wanted it to and immediately, you regret it. 

But when you look up at him with your ears pinned back against your skull, his eyes have grown soft, his own ears rotating open and curious toward you. He gives you a gentle smile and although you are still angry, although you are still mad at him, the patience you usually hold for him is reflected in his eyes this time. Sighing deeply, you shake your head as you fight frustrated tears from falling. Hiding your face in your hands, you lose the battle quickly when a teardrop falls from your eye. It’s quickly followed by more and then you’re crying in front of the demon, your emotions all over the place.

His hand on your shoulder slowly pulls you forward, towards him, until your forehead rests upon his chest. The skin beneath the back of your hands is soft, yet firm, the heat radiating from his flesh calming in a way you had only felt a few times before. Strong arms wrap around you, gently pressing you to his body as you cry. The demon shushes you, the rumble of his voice vibrating where your forehead rests on his chest. Pulling your hands away, you let your forehead rest directly on his chest, your nose nestled between his curved pectorals. The scent from his skin is comforting, heavy, and round, like his embrace on your body. You don’t know how long you stay like that, all you know is that the demon is here for you, comforting and safe where he holds you. 

“You are alright, mama,” He hums, his words slow as he pronounces each word. “You are alright,”

Slowly, you lift your head from his chest, your eyelashes sticking together from your tears. Tsking at you, the demon’s hands cup each side of your face before his thumbs gently wipe the excess tears from your lashes. Looking up at him, the sharpness in his eyes is back, but behind it, there’s something new, something you’ve only seen once - when you were… 

“You must start your lessons,” You mumble, breaking away from the demon’s hold on you. 

Your frustration over Spider’s treatment could wait. It was not something you could do anything about right now, not something you could do anything about period. You had to live with the hope that one day, the Na’vi would accept him for who he was, just like you had. You had always known that the people viewed him as different, but it wasn’t before the demon revealed what Neytiri had done that you truly understood just how much he was viewed differently. You would use the new knowledge to your advantage now, protecting your son against your people. 

“Okay, teach me,” The demon speaks, opening his arms in a new gesture you do not understand. 

“What does this mean?” You parrot his gesture, eyes curiously searching his.

“It mean I am open,” He replies, before furrowing his brows with uncertainty, “I thinking,”

Nodding to yourself, you start his lessons, revisiting what you had already taught the unit. The words come to his faster this time around, the demon putting in more of an effort to learn how to pronounce each word, asking questions, and learning how to bend his words. Before you know it, a genuine smile has cracked through your armor. It takes the demon by surprise, stopping him in his track. Offering a grin of his own, you shake your head at him. 

“I will take you to Jake,” You offer, still smiling up at him. 

“I will like that,” The demon hums, uncurling his long legs before rising, offering his hand to help you up again.

Staring up at him, you notice the hope in his eyes, the way his ears have rotated toward you, open and wide as he waits. You make a mental note that you like this side of him. The openness in his heart making him appear more approachable instead of the closed-off angry person he was before. Taking his hand, you steel your heart as he gently hoists you up to your feet. The way he’s staring at you makes your heart beat faster in your chest. Reaching up, you dare to let your fingers trace the open shell of his ear, watching as it snaps back against his skull, pointed and tense once more. You’re about to retreat your hand and apologize when his ear twitches and then, ever so slowly, it rises and unfolds before your very eyes. Lowering your eyes to meet his, you’re surprised to see the vulnerability in the sharp orbs. When you don’t move, however, the demon gently tilts his head until his ear touches your hand. It twitches before your fingers until you gently let your fingers trace his ear again. 

“I like this look on you,” You whisper, the intimacy of the moment not lost on you. 

“Like what?” The demon hums, the rumble in his chest dangerously low as his eyes slowly flicker close. 

“Relaxed,” You hum back as your fingers round the wide tip of his ear, “Not tense or angry,”

“Hmm…” He hums back while leaning his head more firmly against your hand, “How do you know?”

“Your ears give your emotions away,” You whisper as the demon’s other hand wraps around your waist. “They’re always pointed and bent back, but now, they’re round and open - trusting,”

Letting your eyes fall to his once more, you’re surprised to see the heat blacking out the yellow. Your lips part in a gentle gasp as he lets go of your hand, instead lifting it to brush a stray braid from your face, gently putting it behind your ear. His eyes lift to the ear and you watch as the emotions he’s feeling cross his face in rapid succession - curiosity, uncertainty, resolve - and then his fingers touch your own ear, his fingers gentle. The demon’s eyes slowly slide down to yours once more, bewilderment dancing behind them. He’s beautiful, you note as he lets your eyes trace his features, patiently waiting for your assessment. Meeting his eyes again, your thoughts must be reflected in your eyes as the demon suddenly huffs a breathless chuckle, his breath warm as it ghosts across your lips. Immediately, your eyes fall to his lips just in time to see the demon’s pink tongue poke out to wet his lips before another huffed breathy chuckle leaves his lips. Meeting his eyes once more, you’re surprised to see that the black has almost engulfed the entirety of his eyes, the yellow only a slim circle by now. The hand by your ear caresses its way down your cheek until the demon’s finger and thumb hold your chin, gently lifting your head as he searches your eyes for consent. He must obviously find it reflecting in your eyes as his own crinkle in the corners just before he bends down. 

“Quaritch, you ready for your - aww hell,” Jake hisses as he walks through the entrance of your kelku only to quickly turn his back on you again, “I don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit,”

The interruption snaps you out of the trance you were just in. Pushing away from the demon, you hiss as heat fills your face. You’re unable to meet his eyes, not after this. Taking deep breaths you close your eyes as you try to calm yourself. You had allowed this, had leaned into him, caressed his ear, and allowed his touch. Feeling tears prickle at your eyes, you quickly wipe them away as you let out an unsteady, wet breath before turning, steeling yourself. 

“Corporal,” The demon growls, his tail whipping furiously behind him, his ears snapped back against his skull once more. 

“Greet him kindly,” You hiss at the demon, refusing to meet his eyes when he huffs a humorless chuckle at you. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Jake starts, but you immediately interrupt him. 

“You didn’t interrupt anything,” The hummed growl beside you sends a shiver down your spine, but you still refuse to look at the demon. 

“Is that right, sweetheart?” The demon rumbles in perfectly fluent Na’vi, his voice so cold and angry it almost pulls a gasp from your lips. 

“I did not stutter, demon,” You hiss back, still staring at Jake. 

“Guess you didn’t, darling,” The demon huffs before stepping forward, “We got a place to be, Corporal,”

And then he walks out of your kelku without looking back at you. His shoulders are squared, his head held high - proud - but his ears and tail betray him though. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest as you watch him leave, your tail whipping with distress as your ears pinned back against your skull. Your breathing isn’t coming as easily as it should and suddenly, you’re transported back in time while clutching onto your son’s body as sharp eyes guide you through until you can breathe freely again. 

“You alright, Y/n?” Jake asks, his voice concerned and confused as he voices the question. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You turn to him, hoping that the tears blurring your eyes are only visible to you. 

“Okay,” He doesn’t sound convinced, but you don’t need him to be. You just need him to leave, so that you can breathe once more. “We’ll be done before the eclipse. Just meet us by the shore before the communal meal,”

Nodding, you breathe a sigh of relief as he turns to leave, walking quickly to catch up with the demon. You feel so humiliated where you’re standing, the shame crawling up your body until it’s all you can feel. How could you allow this to happen again? Had he not caused you pain unlike any you had ever felt before? Had he not stolen your child, hid him from you only to be used in a game of war? Still, your heart longed for him, called out to his soul in its desperate search for him to return. Sobbing, you wrap your arms around yourself as your knees hit the ground. Curling in on yourself, you let yourself cry as the realization that your feelings for him never stopped growing. You mourn for your future, mourn for your present, but more than that, you mourn for your past. If only you had been honest with yourself, maybe things would have been different… 

You don’t know how, but when your sobs die down, you’re surprised to find the demon’s songcord clutched tightly in your hand. You’re clinging to it as if it was a lifeline as if it would somehow erase all the hurt and pain. Opening your palm, you let your eyes wander over the beads, remembering how you carved each one of them with such care. Rolling each one between your fingers you let the words to his song fall from your lips in a choked whisper. By the end, you find that you can breathe freely once more. Staring at the beads, you let the sound of the waves calm you as time passes by. When the skies turn orange, you get up on your feet, taking a few deep breaths before tying the songcord to your tweng. You would have to face the demon sooner rather than later and when you did, you would have to apologize to him. 

Spider meets you halfway there, his smile and laughter as he waves his friends goodbye bringing warmth to your heart. Greeting him, you hug him close as he falls into step with you. His curious little hands inspect the new songcord attached to your tweng, his eyes looking up at you questioningly. Shaking your head, he knows he’ll get an answer soon enough, so he lets go of the songcord as he excitedly follows you. In the distance, you can see Jake and the demon on their tsurak, the creatures racing through the water as their maktos ride them. The grin that is plastered on the demon’s face makes you stop abruptly, the sight burning itself into your memory. 

“Mom?” Spider asks, his voice curious as he steps in front of you, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, my love,” You smile down at him, only for his eyes to shoot up with delighted surprise. 

“Is that Dad and Jake?” He laughs, running a few steps ahead to watch as they approach the beach. “When did he get a skimwing?”

“To-today,” You stumble, swallowing the feeling of hearing your son call the demon dad. 

“That is so cool!” and then he’s off, running towards the beach to greet the men walking up from the water. 

As you approach, you see the demon ruffle Spider’s hair as he grins, chatting excitedly up at his father as he fully emerges from the sea. Taking a moment to steel yourself, you put on a gentle smile that you don’t really feel, your nerves bouncing wildly in your chest. The moment the demon spots you, however, his posture changes. His back goes ramrod stiff as his shoulders square, his ears pin down against his skull and his tail twitches anxiously behind him. He’s an open book to read and what you’re reading is that he is uncomfortable. Maybe he’s embarrassed too? You have always pinned him as a private man, maybe getting caught in such close proximity displeased him. 

“You did alright, Quaritch,” Jake grins, slapping his shoulder. 

“Alright? I am greatest, Corporal,” The demon huffs, raising his eyebrow. 

“Not quite, but you’re getting there,” The chuckle that leaves Jake’s lips is almost fond, but that couldn’t be. 

“Yo, bro!” Loak and Neyeyam shout from the other side of the beach, bags slinging to their frames, “You coming or not?”

“So… The guys are staying out late tonight,” Spider starts and you already know where this is going, “Is it okay if I join them?”

“I have barely seen you today, Spider, you can join them another time,” You gently deny him, maybe more so for your own selfish sake, wanting to see him more. 

“Mom, please?” He continues, batting his long eyelashes up at you, the warm glow of the sun glittering in his beautiful brown eyes. 

“Go on, son,” The demon hums, ruffling Spider’s head again before pushing him off, “ Go having fun with friends,”

“You’re the best, Dad,” Spider chuckles, smiling so happily. 

He looks up at his father with such adoration it almost breaks your heart when he turns to you to check if this really was alright. At that moment, your heart stops, freezing at the situation you find yourself in. It’s an impossible choice. If you refuse his father’s words, you’ll be the bad guy, but if you let him go, you’ll be sending him away when all you wanted to do was to hold him close. His beautiful brown eyes blink hopefully up at you and before you know it, the choice has already been made. 

“Go on, Spider, be careful but have fun,” You can hear yourself say, feeling your lips stretch into a smile you don’t feel. 

You watch as Spider runs to catch up with the ever-growing group of kids and even if you know that this was the right choice, you want to reach out to him, to pull him back. Watching him go had always been difficult, but after the events of the past months, it had felt impossible. Turning to the demon, you watch as he smiles after his son, his hands firmly planted on his wet hips. 

“You had no right, demon,” You hiss, taking both him and Jake by surprise, but it doesn’t take long before the fire enters his sharp eyes once more. 

“I’m his father, woman,” He growls, the sound dangerously low as he steps forward to grab your upper arm, hard. 

“You are nothing but a… but an aid in his creation,” You sneer back as you pull your arm free of his grip

"Well… Theoretically,” The demon hisses right back at you, not missing a beat, “You're not even his mother," 

The demon hisses the last part childishly, and even though it's a stupid fight, to begin with, it hurts so deep within you that the gasp that leaves your body is almost inaudible. But it's loud enough. Immediately, the demon’s ears snaps back tightly against his skull, his tail coiling even tighter around his wet leg. His lips part and close on and off, but nothing comes out. It's like watching him drown and although you know, deep within you, that he didn't mean it, the same way you hadn't meant what you said, you can see the raw hurt within his eyes. So you do the only thing you know how to do; You flee, licking your wounds, leaving him where he stands - alone. 

You never hear his whispered plea of "Please, don't leave,". But Jake does, and he's furious. It doesn’t take long before the full force of Toruk Makto comes crashing into your kelku, his fury all but dripping off of him as he walks toward you, barely able to retain his anger. 

“What was-” He starts but stops, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself before continuing. “What was that, Y/n?”

“W-what?” You stutter, taking a step back from him. 

“That!” He shouts before stopping again, “That -on the beach with Quaritch?”

“Nothing,“ You mumble, trying your best to seem as non-confrontational as possible. 

“I never thought I’d be on Quaritch’s side, but here I am,” Jake chuckles humorlessly to himself as he shakes his head, before looking up at you again. "I know what it's like to be on the other side, Y/n. To have everyone's eyes on you, gossiping and sneering behind your back, thinking you'd be better off dead just because you're a demon from the skies - an alien.”

“To share a child like this, that's a gift, Y/n, not a rocking stone you use to hurt each other with.” Jake’s tone is deadly serious, the leader in him - the father - emerging as he speaks to you his eyes narrowed dangerously, ”Quaritch is Spider’s father whether you like it or not, and you are Spider's mother, whether he likes it or not. Fighting is alright, but you never leave each other angry like this. You never know when it'll be the last time you get to see each other," 

You’re helpless but to stand there and gape at him, your eyes quickly filling with tears as you know he’s right. Even though you knew that this situation was difficult for Quaritch, you hadn’t bothered to think about him more than the initial anger and betrayal you yourself felt. Quaritch had lost everything, everyone he stood near, and now, because you saved him from a fourth certain death, he was here in a Metkayina village he probably never wanted to be in, to begin with. Oh, you have been so selfish… 

“Don’t play with his emotions like this,” Jake finishes, his ears drooping sadly against his skull, “God knows he doesn’t deserve it, but if you don’t want him as your mate, you need to let him know now so that he can move on and find happiness with someone else,”  

And with that, Jake shakes his head and leaves your kelku. It’s not a magical cure to put yourself in Quaritch’s place, but it certainly gives you a new perspective. Biting your thumb, you pace back and forth before finally making up your mind. Quickly, you walk out of your kelku, speeding for the beach in hope that Quaritch is still there. You’re not surprised when you find the beach empty, with the exception of some fishermen arriving late. Looking around the beach you wonder what direction he could have headed when spotting his tall figure emerging from the communal meal. Running you notice the exact moment he sees you as he stops abruptly. 

“I didn’t mean what I said,” You plead as you come to a stop before him, breath coming a little heavier than it probably should have. “I-I’m so sorry,”

“No, princess,” Quaritch hums, a soft smile on his lips as he shifts the steaming food wraps to one hand before reaching out to hold your shoulder. “I apologize,”

There’s an awkward silence stretching between you, neither one knowing what to say to the other. In the distance, you can see Jake talking with Tonowari, the two of them nodding in agreement as they look at you from within the communal circle. There’s no doubt that they’ve come to some sort of agreement, but as you tear your eyes away from them to look up at Quaritch, you couldn’t care less what they had agreed to as the sharp yellow orbs stare into yours with something painfully looking like hope. 

“Come, let go home,” Quaritch offers gently, waiting for your feet to move before following you. 

You miss the heat of his hand on your shoulder, but as you walk in silence, passing villagers that stare at you weirdly, you take a deep breath to collect yourself. You need to clear the air between you if you are to share Spider - if Quaritch is to grow. He will need somewhere safe to retreat to, somewhere where he won’t be judged for who he is. 

“Are you hunger?” Quaritch asks once you’ve both stepped into your kelku, his voice gentle as he reaches out a hand with two food wraps in it. 

“Are you hungry?” You correct him as you wrap your smaller hands around his outstretched one, bending his fingers over the food wraps. 

“Are you hungry?” He parrots perfectly, his eyebrows creating a soft arch on his face. 

“Did you get these for me?” You find yourself asking, looking into his eyes as you try to read all the emotions dancing in the sharp depths. 

“What I say, I was anger. I did not mean it,” He offers softly, his ears drooping back to the side as his tail twitches anxiously. 

“I didn’t mean what I said. It was cruel,” You whisper back, your eyes brimming with fresh tears again. You were tired of this emotional turmoil, you wanted some semblance of stability back into your life - like before. 

“I am embarras when Sully walk in on us. I do not understand this - this things,” He tries gently, but the honesty and trust he offers you with the admission are enough for the first of many tears to fall. 

“No, no, sweetness. Please,” Quaritch breaks, letting the food wraps drop from his hands when he reaches for your face, cupping it as he thumbs the tears away. 

“I don’t know how to say everything I need to say in Na’vi yet, but just know that I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean any of it, okay?” He continues, the desperation in his voice so obvious now, “You are Spider’s mother and there is absolutely no doubt about that, sweetness,”

“You are Spider’s father,” You chuckle through your tears, noticing how the admission makes Quaritch freeze before he huffs and shakes his head. 

“Fucking hell, woman,” And then you’re wrapped in a hug so tight it should have been uncomfortable, but is anything but. 

In the comfort of his arms, you eventually find yourself sitting in his lap as you’ve lowered to the ground. The food wrap has long since grown cold when he reaches for one, but it doesn’t stop him from trying to feed you. You, of course, greedily accept, wrapping your lips around his fingers as he feeds you. The food is fatty and delicious when it hits your tongue, making you hum with pleasure as you close your lips. He feeds you like this until you’re full, only taking a few tastes for himself. He makes quick work of the rest, all but swallowing the food in his haste to finish up. 

When darkness finally settles over Pandora, you find yourself nestled by his side after having invited him into your nest once more. You lay there in silence, just listening to each other breathe as you fiddle with the beads of his songcord. Reaching over to grab his arm, you gently unfold his tight fist before tracing the skin of his palm, smiling gently up at him as he hums contently. His sharp eyes are following your every move, but still, Quaritch looks comfortable, soft even. Placing the bead in his palm, you gently close his long fingers over it. 

“What is it?” Quaritch hums softly, quickly breaking eye contact to look at the songcord. Immediately, you see recognition in his eyes. 

“All Na’vi have songcords,” You whisper, starting gently. “IT is gifted to you by your parents when you are born and they build upon it until you are old enough to add your own,”

“Do Spider have one?” Quaritch asks and something inside your chest blooms with warmth. 

“Yes, when he came into my life, I immediately gifted it to him, even though he was not yet mine,” You smile at the fond memory. 

“Do you have it?” He continues, digging deeper. 

“I do,” You say as you reach down to remove your songcord, slowly presenting it to him. 

“It is long,” He comments before looking down at his own. 

“When you -” You start, but stop again as you place your songcord in his hand before intertwining your fingers with his, “When I thought you had died, I made this for you in hopes that Eywa would greet you, that she would finally give you peace,”

“This blue one belong to you,” Quaritch comments, rolling the blue bead between his thumb and pointer finger on top of your hand. 

Surprised, you gasp softly, drawing his eyes up to yours for a moment before he looks down at the bead again. He doesn’t need you to confirm it to be the truth. You had never thought that he would recognize a single bead on you, yet, here he was, proving you wrong once again. Squeezing his hand harder, he lifts his eyes to look at you again. 

“I will recognize you blind,” He whispers, his voice rough despite the gentleness of the words spoken. 

“Is this why you cut hair?” Quaritch asks, surprising you once more. 

His sharp eyes look straight through you, so you only nod as his other hand slowly raises to the back of your head where you cut it. His deft fingers graze past each cut, dangerously close to your kuru. Closing your eyes, you let out a shaky breath as he finishes. Opening them you find a conflicted look in his eyes as he no doubt connects the dots. Suddenly you’re pulled tightly to his chest, his arm wrapping around you to hold you close. Still, your hands are intertwined between you, your songcords as intertwined as you are. Like this, every worry bouncing around in your head disappears. In his arms, you can breathe freely once more, can feel your heart slowing for the first time in what feels like forever. 

You have no idea when you fall asleep in his arms, have no idea when Spider gets home or when he burrows in behind you, wrapping your blankets around all of you. All you know is that when you wake up, you’re plastered to Quaritch’s side, his slow and steady heartbeat beating beneath your ear as your son stares at you from where he’s eating breakfast. 

“Really?” Spider chuckles, a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“Hey, be nice to your mother,” Quaritch rumbles, the vibration from his rough voice sending shivers down your spine as you realize that he’s awake. 

Spider just throws his hands up in that sky people gesture and grins. Slowly, you unwrap yourself from Quaritch’s body, immediately missing his heat. Opening his hand, he stares down at your songcords before meeting your eyes again. Spider joins you moments later, chatting eagerly about how cool it was that Quaritch had his own songcord before presenting his own. They were almost the same length.

“Your mama make it for me,” Quaritch hums as he lets Spider hold it to inspect the beads. 

“What are your milestones?” Spider asks and immediately, Quaritch looks up at you. 

“Each bead is a memory, a milestone to celebrate. They remind you of what you have achieved, of who your family is and who holds you dear,” You offer him, smiling gently. 

“Can I hear it?” Spider asks, looking up at his father. 

“Hey, I want to hearing too,” Quaritch smirks down at him before staring at you when Spider does. 

“Alright,” You smile at the double set of equally pitiful eyes, “But the songcord is private, for you and your loved ones ears only. I guess you need to learn what I have added to decide if you want them though,”

And that is how you find yourself singing Quaritch’s songcord for them, both sets of eyes staring intently at you while you sing. Quaritch’s ears droop as he listens to your words, concentrating on the memories he himself has of the events you sing about. When you finish, you close your eyes, afraid to look at Quaritch. You’re not surprised, however, when fingers gently lift your chin up and when you open your eyes, Quaritch’s deep depths greet yours. 

“You singing a song like this for Spider in Bridehead,” He whispers, gently cupping your face and you nod slowly, rubbing your face into his palm. 

“You give him a beautiful life,” He hums, complimenting you on what a good mother he thought you had been to Spider. 

“Thank you,” You whisper back, momentarily forgetting about the teenager sitting there with you until he groans.

“Get a room,” Spider rolls his eyes as he takes his songcord ang gets up to his feet, preparing to leave. 

Just then, there’s a knock on the outside of your kelku, and short moments later, Jake steps inside, quickly followed by Tonowari. Exchanging greetings after getting to your feet, you notice the smirk on Jake’s face as he looks at the nest behind you, no doubt noticing how Quaritch’s makeshift nest was still rolled up in the corner, unused. 

“I have come to offer you your own kelku,” Tonowari addresses Quaritch slowly, making sure that he understands every word before continuing, “You are becoming Na’vi, learning the way of the people. As an unmated male, you must have your own kelku unless you wish to stay here,”

You understand the words he’s saying and by the way Quaritch looked at you, ears bending flat against his head, his tail wrapping around his leg as he waited, you knew that he had understood everything too. 

“It is your choice,” You offer diplomatically, holding your breath as your own ears bent down against your skull. 

“I wants to stay,” Quaritch hums gently, unlike his usually brash self. 

“You are sure?” Tonowari asks again, just to make sure. 

“Yeah,” He offers back before looking to the side at Spider and you, “Please, Olo’eyktan,”

“Then I will let another male have the kelku,” Tonowari hums, not looking surprised at all, and neither did Jake. 

That night, all of you ate in the comfort of your kelku, having fun together as a family for what seemed like the first time. And as the days progressed to weeks, life seemed to get back to normal once more. Quaritch was out to work whenever he had a free moment, but he pulled his weight, even joined Jake and Tonowari to some neighboring villages to help get materials to rebuild what was destroyed by fire. When he had arrived back home, he had been exhausted, Jake letting you know to let him rest the following day. Quaritch’s Na’vi was getting really good too, he didn’t stumble as much, didn’t mispronounce or over-pronounce the words like he used to. 

Quaritch was fully embracing the Na’vi way in a way he hadn’t been able to before. Still, you hesitated to let him get close enough to hurt you, his betrayal fresh in your heart. Although you wish for nothing more than to accept him fully, you’re not ready to forgive just yet. By the look of Quaritch, he doesn’t mind as he’s learning to know his son on a deeper level, resting a bond you knew Spider had always longed for. In the evenings, you would all sleep in your nest, wrapped up in each other as Quaritch’s makeshift nest lay all but forgotten in the corner of your kelku. It’s early morning when your sleep is disturbed by boyish laughter from outside. Quaritch groans deep in his chest, the sound vibrating where your head is resting on his chest, and sure enough, moments later, Jake and Tonowari step inside your kelku, the two of them wearing matching grins as they zero in on Quaritch.

“It’s time, Quaritch…”

Chapter 18 | Masterpost | Chapter 20

[lunabug2004]

I watched The Eclipse (the series) and OMG I'm in Love?!?! ⚠️ SPOILERS ⚠️

Ya'll I watched The Eclipse the series over the last few days and... omg. I have so much to say so buckle up. Obv there will be spoilers! I also wanna mention that this will be full of very biased takes because I absolutely fell in love with Akk soooo imma be defending him.

Now that that's out of the way, first, can we talk about the couples? FirstKhao's chemistry?! I know I'm late to the game but man they blew me out of the water!!! They were so cute and wholesome (dw I've seen the OF edits, ik they're not always this way lol) and Akk and Ayan just pulled me all the way in! They both deserve the world and I will not hear otherwise! Now, the side couple, KanThua, were not my cuppa tea. I love Neo, I haven't seen anything with Louis in it but he's a good actor from what I've seen, and they look cute together, but they just didn't snatch me up unfortunately.

That leads me into the second topic, the plot (this is where it gets long, strap in). I believe this is the main reason the side didn't snatch me. They were definitely given the short end of the stick (this is before I found out that I hate Thua with a passion but we'll get to that). I would've loved so much more buildup than what we got from them. Thua's storyline just felt kinda off to me. We saw his stepdad say one or two messed up things to him, which ya eff him for that, but every other time he was pretty nice??? Maybe I'm just missing something but idk. Also the whole "Bruce Wayne" thing was eh to me. Kinda cute, kinda weird.

Now, Akk and Ayan's storyline???? Sign me uppppp! I love everything about it! I love that they are so there for eachother and literally picked eachother up off the ground mentally so many times. They need eachother and you can absolutely feel it. Then, also their individual storylines are just amazing. My poor babies. Ayan and dealing with his uncle's death and witnessing the terrible things at the school and getting bullied by the teachers and his declining mental health. Akk dealing with the manipulation of the teachers and his need to prove himself and his need to put everyone above himself and his declining mental health and ugh... sorry I could talk about Akk for ages, ya'll know how I get with my babies lol. All this to say I definitely came not knowing what to expect but stayed for Akk & Ayan.

The general storyline is... a doozy. The whole curse thing was so interesting and then it just... wasn't. But at the same time it was??? Idk it's so hard to place how I feel about this part of the plot. I don't understand the whole thing with Teacher Chadock's confession and that somehow affecting what was going on? Like sir, you still manipulated kids (specifically Akk) into doing awful things, I don't think all that happened is an excuse for that at all? Yes, it sucks and never shoulda happened but like... why act like that towards the students this whole time? And he didn't seem to show much, if any, remorse for his behavior either so... idk.

Now... let's get into ep 11 and Thua's whole thing. I will never ever ever forgive the character of Thua for what he did. I don't care how right he was (which he mostly wasn't), I don't care if he was speaking some facts, you don't ever out somebody like that!!! Esp as a character who we know has faced such bad discrimination and bullying for the same effing thing!!! It makes absolutely no sense and there are no excuses! The fear in Akk's eyes... ugh I wanted to punch Thua so bad ngl. The way that he also isn't even right about Akk 'creating the curse' and doesn't mention that he himself continued it after Akk saw the error of his ways and stopped. He made himself out to be squeaky clean when he honestly had the most blood on his hands after this whole thing. When he was cheering the episode before about finding the "one responsible for the curse" IT WAS HIM! AKK HAD STOPPED AT THAT POINT SO IT WAS ALL HIM! He also wasn't telling the truth when he said Aye was covering for Akk using their love as a cover! At first Ayan wanted Akk to tell everyone what he did... but then he saw what a fragile state of mind Akk was in and decided to try a different approach. Thua should've gone to Akk and Aye himself, he had no right to say anything he said without knowing the full story!!! THEN HE JUST IS FORGIVEN!!! NOO! I know that it's because of the cuts they had to make that we don't get to see the characters forgive him and whatnot but I don't care. He. did. not. deserve. to. be. forgiven. No one is changing my mind!

I could go on forever tbh so let's move onto the third topic... the pacing. I know this is the main complaint for this show and rightfully so. I really really wish they would've gotten the 14 episodes they were hoping for instead of the 12 they got. The pacing is just out of wack. The first half-ish is beautiful.... then it drags (slightly).... then it's rushed. Just disappointing, but not anyone's fault. The crew apparently thought they were working with 14 eps, we can't blame them, and we definitely cannot blame the actors.

Fourth, and final, topic: the acting!!! Uuuugh, ya'll! I'd seen Khao in a couple things and First in Not Me, but this is by far the best I've seen of them! They showed all the emotions and omg these dudes are professional criers, how are they both so good at it?! Btw, I see people talk about Khao's acting more than First's I feel like (could just be what I see idk), but First snatched me up! He killed every single scene, give me chills multiple times (Khao too obv) and showed Akk's character development flawlessly! All the supporting actors were obviously amazing too (special shoutout to my boy AJ cuz I love the twins)!

Anyways, if you sat through this half-rant, half-review, congrats! I honestly love this show and it's for sure going to be one I rewatch all the time and try to dig deeper into Akk's mind every time lol. Also if you read all of this and I didn't touch on something you wanted or you're just curious about my thoughts on anything (seriously anything at all), feel free to comment or repost or send me an ask, I don't mind!

[urspiritualnurse]

I'm an obscene creature,

and the Lord will never forgive me,

neither will you, my unblemished flower.

Your divine existence mortifies my disappointment,

for you are a flesh full of hope.

In your presence, the unsettled quarrel I have had with life since birth rests in peace.

Your one command, and I will annihilate my prideful feets, forever crawling the earth like an infant, all over again.

I'm infuriated by my own bottomless need that doesn't ever seem to reach an end.

But your abundant soul, ignites such lengthy greed within me.

I wish to hoard your alive flesh, and even if death breaks in, in the broad daylight, and carries you far away, I'll relinquish every nightfall and begin everyday, haunting your ghost.

I'll capture you in any form that you will ever take.

Whether you're fully fleshed or a hollowed spirit.

I grieve my once absolute but now lost independence,

I've become a boneless parasite devoid of any distance, latching on your pleasant back.

My instinct that is utterly influenced by my inhumane urges.

As every room once occupied by decency dries, flooded now by only selfish desires.

I cross the threshold of sanity and tackle my withering morality, everyday.

You've become the grains and greens that settles my long, overdued famine.

I wish to consume you in such grave ways that will inevitably lead your entirety eclipsing mine.

As every consumed part of you within me grows an appetite of its own, I wish to be a lump of flesh that it feeds on.

Devour me into non-existence and leave nothing of me in piece.

Such vile eruption occurs within me.

Can you smell my foul intentions?

I'm unclean, I'm so unclean my dear.

I dread your disapproval, yet a sick gratification dances under my skin at every scornful expression you declare.

I'm helplessly bound by the pleasures that I steal from the rivers of rejection you bid my way, I cross all of it with maddening intensity and touch, all that you hide and take all that you deprive me of.

This fixation to be near you is depraved and shocking, even to me.

I'm as surprised as you are, but not nearly appalled.

Do you understand my longing?

Can you speak the same urgency as me?

Do you lose to the same panic as me?

Or am i the only deranged one here?

If granted, I would crawl underneath your skin, no matter how small the space, to earn a place in it, I would separate even the most entangled bones out of my flesh.

Shrivel up my all into a tiny matter to fit in every unwelcomed corners of you.

I want to be one with all your senses and see what you see, hear what you hear, smell what you smell, taste what you taste....

I must invade your very being and witness your thoughts unfold itself to your mind.

I must witness your emotions unravel itself to your heart.

I must close this unfortunate distance.

Infact,

I must become you.

I must become, entirely you my beloved.

For that seems to be the only sense of intimacy that can silence these outrageous desires.

-the orphaned lover, (my mother is to blame),2000notes.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Lunar, running away from Eclipse: I have enough trauma!

Eclipse, running away from Sun: I have kids, don’t kill me!

Sun, running away from Kill Code Moon: Stop your feral screeching, I didn’t do anything to Eclipse yet!

Kill Code Moon, running away from Moon: I promise all me and Monty did was hug and hold hands! I would never use your body for anything beyond such a simple gesture! You’ve even hugged and held hands with the gator before!

Moon: *chasing Kill Code Moon down holding security cam pictures of KC and Monty flirting and holding hands*

Blood Moon, watching on the sidelines with an oil margarita: Our family is dumb.

Harvest Moon, not even looking up from his book: Yes, they are.

Solar Flare, floating by the twins on a pool floatie with gasoline in a wine glass: They have no communication skills whatsoever.

Good Eclipse, taking sips of his battery acid mojito: I mean, I could probably trip Lunar right now and make all of them fall into the pool. Lunar would absolutely forgive me as long as I fish him out first.

Lunara, pouting: I wanted to play chase too.

Good Eclipse: Yes, but you play chase with a knife, kid, and that’s not safe around a pool. I’m only keeping you close for your own safety.

[nerdasaurus1200]

So I’m on Southern Raiders and I have thoughts.

While I do agree that Katara killing her mom’s murderer would not have been the right call whatsoever, Aang needed to shush up about forgiveness. It’s not remotely his place to preach forgiveness at Katara regardless of the circumstances. Yes he has an understanding of what he’s going through cause he lost his entire people, but if anything that should make him more sympathetic because just like Katara and her mother, the Airbenders were slaughtered because of him. And the Fire Nation isn’t sorry for doing that during the show. That soldier isn’t sorry for robbing a woman from her family. He just goes about his life as if it never even happened until his past comes to confront him.

And that’s the thing I think Aang doesn’t understand, is forgiveness has to be earned. Nobody is entitled to anybody’s forgiveness, especially if they aren’t even sorry. And honestly…it’s a little rich him bringing up the Sandbenders stealing Appa when he absolutely did not forgive them. Katara was well within her rights to show no forgiveness to that soldier.

And to a certain extent I don’t even think Sokka truly understands what Katara is going through. To a certain extent Katara was somewhat right to say Sokka didn’t love their mother the way she did. Yes he absolutely feels the pain and grief of losing his mother, and he too is entitled to go through that pain however he wants. But the way Katara sees it, she is responsible for her mother’s death. If Katara had not been born the way she is, there’s a good chance their mother would still be around. Katara has to live with that deeper level of pain every single day of her life, but Sokka does not.

Honestly I think Zuko would have been totally fine with either outcome cause I’m sure even if it was for just a split second he thought about killing Ozai during the eclipse. I think he knew whatever happened, it was what Katara needed. He wanted to give her that choice of deciding for herself what to do instead of preaching forgiveness at her.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

What are your favourite TSAMS duo/duos?

Unsure on that one.

I loved N!Moon and Solar when they worked together.

I am also fond of Jack and Solar.

Jack and Dazzle can be fine.

Lunar and Bloodmoon is a very early and underrated duo and I wish Lunar and Bloodmoon actually saw eachother as brothers back then instead of a means to an end. (like they both did) but I think of the missed potentional of the dynamic of a Wounded Abused Child with an Attack Dog that listens to his every wish. Lunar being very careless and ignorant with the damage he does as lashing out. It could have been really interesting. But... eh.. that duo was very short lived.

I also loved KC and Bloodmoon1.0. Bloodmoon just adored the man. Because someone was actually encouraging his sickness. It was weirdly wholesome in a twisted way.

I did Love Lunarv1 and Eclipse's v1 old dymanic. Yes, while Lunar was abused, not arguing he wasn't.... Eclipse did care. He pretty much only hit Lunar once, and regretted it. He did constant system updates because he was terrified of Moon coming back. He did call him an idiot, but when you saw Lunar alone, or even in the gameplay, there's a twisted fondness there.... Eclipse made Bloodmoon and Lunar because he didn't want to be alone.... and his itterations past that v2 especially felt he was betrayed and that's why he felt he had to kill him.

But it was a relationship that couldn't continue. Lunar either had to grow up, or Eclipse had to grow and change.... which... both happened, just far too little and far to late for the both of them to have any semblance of a "good" relationship.

v4 and Lunar2.0 tolerate each other. But that is all they will ever get.

Which is fine. Lunar is not expected to forgive his abuser.

Eclipse is not expected to forgive his "traitor"

They can just be neutral on eachother. And Lunar will probably dig at him all the while and never stop bullying him when they are in contact. Just cus of the amount of shit Lunar went through with Eclipse.

But I do miss for those very early early days at times. But there was absolutely no other way that they could develop. The dynamic just wasn't sustainable long term.

Lol I noticed all my favorite dynamics are Season 1 or Season 2 dynamics. (i know tsams doesn't have seasons but you can measure the show in arcs/seasons all most by what the antagonist is and what's the most important thing in that era.)

[baa-whatever]

Ruin acted like he did no wrong when he killed Solar. He practically threw him to the wolves along with everybody else. I don't care if it was for 'the greater good' in his mind he caused both physical and mental harm on Nexus and everybody else. He took more lives than what he should've and that all could've been easily avoided.

You want to know what the main issue is with Ruin? Why I like Eclipse more than Ruin?

Eclipse understands he did wrong and is trying to make up for it. He isn't avoiding anything. He understands that Lunar doesn't have to forgive him for what he did. His way of trying to make it up to him is not being around him or the others since they've said they hate him and want him dead.

Ruin was trying to avoid it. Trying to make excuses for killing Solar and still did when he met up with Nexus on Dark Sun's ship. It was a half ass apology. That's why Nexus was like 'I don't care' the way he sounds you can tell he was rolling his eyes at that. Even Jack knew it was BS. Hell Moon called him out on it and he thought he could manipulate them again before he left.

I don't want Ruin dead I just want him to actually understand what he did to all of them. Especially what he did to Nexus. I want him to give Nexus a REAL apology and THEN to everyone else.

EDIT: I want to add that Nexus shouldn't be taking his anger out on Moon because of the expectations everybody else had on him, I think they should've talked first. Maybe Moon would've just told him to screw off like he did with Eclipse at the time but who knows.

I will say I can understand his anger towards everyone. Nothing like crippling and abandoning someone's brother in another dimension to bring back the original Moon...great idea Monty. And then Sun not doing anything about it. He kinda did but I would've flipped if someone suggested that. I'm pretty sure Moon would've beat up Monty for bringing that up if this was about Sun. This is why I feel sorry for Nexus because he's made it very clear he would make an absolute fool of himself to protect his family. Earth never knew that Monty said that taking Moon would leave Nexus in permanent pain and then abandon him. That might be why he's angry at Earth because she's dating Monty. He probably wouldn't be going after her if she wasn't.

[bloomvalyria]

The Broken Pieces, Chapter 6 - Sneak Peek

Since it's been almost 8 months, let's have an extended sneak peek, shall we?

“Bloom.”

The man from the staircase.

He stood a few feet away, obstructing her path. He hadn’t changed his clothes, which would have mortified Stella, choosing to only add a simple black mask that partially concealed his angular features. 

Get rid of him!, a voice hissed in her ear. 

Better yet, kill him, too!, another commanded. Kill two birds with one–

Bloom bit her tongue, fighting not to scream. “What do you want?” she snapped.

There’s a shift in his indifferent gaze that frightened her. Like he knew. Did he know? If this man who she’d barely had more than a conversation with suspected something was off about her, she was closer to succumbing to the darkness than she anticipated. 

“I’m here to fulfill my end of the bargain,” he finally  said. “As I said, I’m a man of my word.”

Kill him, now!

Her nails bit into the skin of her palm. She couldn’t do this. She had to leave. No matter how badly she wanted to speak with him. What she wanted didn’t matter anymore. Not when she was closing in, scratching at the corners of her mind.

“I’m sorry,” Bloom quickly muttered. “I have to go.”

Before he could offer more charming words, she stepped past him, eyes trained on the exit. Maybe if she could escape the crowd the solitude would allow her to make it to the woods. Somewhere deep in the trees, unknown to anyone. Unreachable. Where everyone would be safe from her. 

But that left the issue of the reporters clamoring at the gates to get their front page shots. They’d have a field day if they caught sight of the petrified fire fairy disappearing into the woods during the party. She could already imagine tomorrow’s headlines; her outburst eclipsing Stella’s party. She’d never forgive herself. 

Gloved fingers closed around her wrist, forcing her to stop. 

Bloom gasped as the man from the staircase pulled her back to him. She nearly collided with his chest, but the proximity alone was enough to stun her. The man’s face only inches away from hers. His grey eyes bore down on her through the mask, and Bloom felt her Flame flicker. A warning. A threat.

“Dance with me.”

Confusion replaced her panic. “What?”

His annoying smirk returned, softening his face behind the mask. “Dance with me.”

Bloom’s eyes flicked from his hand to his expectant gaze. She didn’t have time for his games. She needed to get out. “That wasn’t part of our deal.”

“It wasn’t.” 

Before she could regain the barest inch of her composure, his hand slid into hers, tugging her towards the bustling dance floor. 

Bloom shook her head, fighting against the roaring in her skull. No. Absolutely not. Crowded ballroom was the worst environment for her to come out. “I can’t dance,” she feebly protested.

He scoffed, irritated by her rejection. “Are your legs broken?”

Her jaw dropped. “N-No.”

“Then I assure you, you can.” 

His hand settled on her waist, silencing her objections and the insidious whispers as violins played overhead.

It’s a waltz. 

At least, she thought it was a waltz.  The striking yet enchanting melody tickled at her memory, like a long forgotten lullaby. Another blocked memory she couldn’t seem to remember.

Her pulse quickened as he led her into the first steps. She wracked her brain, desperate to recall any of the dances Stella and Layla taught her during their dorm parties. The long nights of makeshift princess lessons evaded her in that moment, failing her in her time of need. She sighed, resigning herself to her fate. She seemed destined to continuously make a fool out of herself in front of this man.

“It’s Sparxian.”

His voice jolted her and she narrowly avoided stepping on his foot. “What?”

“The song,” he clarified. “It’s a Sparxian waltz. One from the twelfth dynasty, I believe. A gift commissioned by King Ares himself for his wife’s thirtieth birthday. The Queen was always an ardent supporter of the arts.”

The melody swelled through the ballroom, but Bloom barely registered the next turn. 

The song was Sparxian. The music that teased her memory was from none other than her home world. It had been right under her nose, and she hadn’t even known. Her heart ached. How far did her ignorance transcend? If she could miss something as simple as a song, what else had slipped by her without notice? What else had no one shown her?

“You waltz surprisingly well for someone born with two left feet.”

Heat rose into her cheeks. “Thank you,” she replied. “I almost believed that.”

He chuckled. “I suppose you also stepped on your father’s toes?”

“I did,” she admitted. “And the toes of anyone else who had the unfortunate experience of dancing with me. I’m sure the countess was more than happy to elaborate on all of my royal shortcomings.”