#ebaums world

[kramerblogrealgood]

this did pretty well on twitter so I wanted to bring it over

[im-vel]

propaganda

[moldlove]

[hungwy]

i bet ebaums world has 1000 monthly visitors at most

[dvrk-moon]

SPIDER-FIEND - chapter ii

read chapter i here!

— synopsis: whoever documented your personal altercation with spider-man was clearly out to get you.

— word count: 1.1k

— warnings: cursing, classmates picking on you

— featuring: epex ayden, nmixx jiwoo, nwjns danielle

— a/n: who else missed this series !!

series masterlist

ii. INTERNET FAMOUS ERA

“I heard Spider-Man spilled coffee all over you,” yet another one of your classmates tormented you over your run-in with the superhero. God damn him, you already didn’t like the guy and here he was, spilling your coffee all over you and swinging away without an apology.

“Where’d you hear that from?” you inquired, facing your classmate.

“More like where’d I see it from,” he snickered, a few more laughs being elicited from your nearby classmates.

“God damn it, Ayden,” you looked at him, annoyed, “was it eBaum’s World or YouTube?”

“YouTube. You should see it, it’s got like a thousand views right now.”

You rolled your eyes and faced the front of the classroom again.

“At least your outfit was cute,” another classmate, Jiwoo, whispered to you with a smile.

You weren’t surprised at all that there was a video somewhere. YouTube was super popular, and so was Spider-Man, so your run-in was obviously going to be uploaded. If it was anyone else, you would’ve probably laughed at the video too. But because it was you, it was a nightmare.

The one person that you really needed to vent to right now was Riki. You’d sit with him at lunch and tell him all about it, but lunch was in two periods. You weren’t sure if you could wait that long, so you sent him a text:

you : OMG

you : i am going 2 die!!!!!

You slipped your phone back into your jacket pocket and tried your best to focus on the lesson so you could retain something before class ended.

For another twenty minutes, your calculus teacher droned on about reviewing for your AP exam, which was in a month or so. You couldn’t wait to be freed from the grasps of AP classes.

The bell rung and you put your textbook, calculator, and notebook all in your backpack before rushing out into the hallway. You couldn’t take the risk of being slow. Not only was there the rush of impatient high school students, but the idea of being approached by another peer about the video was tormenting you.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. When you pulled it out, you were met with a text from Riki.

riki XD : wat happend

You pocketed your phone again as you scrambled your way to your locker with the intent of stowing away your AP calculus textbook and calculator. You quickly arrived to your locker, putting in the code.

12-09-90

You knew it was bad, but since each locker didn’t automatically come with a lock and you had to provide your own, you got to pick the code. And yeah, it was Riki’s birthday, but what other six digit code would be that easy to remember?

You shook your head at yourself, opening your locker and putting your calculator and textbook in it. You grabbed your paper bagged lunch. The mere thought of having to run back across the school before lunch bell was Hell to you, so you grabbed it now.

Once the lunch was grabbed, you took the European history textbook out of your locker and stuffed it in your bag. The lunch was put in quickly after.

You scrambled to your next period, hoping that no one would mention the video to you.

Your balloon of hope was soon popped as another classmate, Danielle, approached you. She walked up to you immediately after the teacher had said to split into partnerships to work on an assignment.

“Hey, Y/N,” Danielle started, “I saw that video. Is everything okay? I’m sure people have been bothering you all day about it.”

You were caught off guard by the remark, expecting her to be yet another person to make fun of you for the altercation.

“Yeah,” you sighed, half-smiling at her, “I guess I am.”

“Okay,” she said, looking into your eyes, “you have some serious balls for cursing out Spider-Man for what he did. He totally deserved that, that was so cool of you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at her, “Thank you, but how’d you know that I cussed him out? The only video I saw was the one on eBaum’s World, and it was just the clip of him spilling the coffee on me.”

She gasped, “OMG, have you not seen the YouTube version? It’s like a whole minute long!”

You buried your face in your hands. Not only was there the clip of him spilling coffee, but apparently there was a version with the part where you cussed him out? You worried for your future; if colleges or jobs that you’d applied to or been accepted into see that, you’re done for.

“That is so embarrassing,” you said, muffled by your hands.

“It’s not that bad,” she replied, slipping her phone out of her pocket. She hid it under the desk and unlocked her device, pulling up the YouTube website. Danielle owned a new iPhone, and to say you were nearly seething with jealousy was an understatement. You couldn’t hold it against her, though, it just seemed like all of your peer’s parents were more well off than either of yours. It probably had to do with the fact that their parents were still together. That filled you with more jealousy than not having an iPhone ever would.

Danielle clicked on the search bar, typing in the words “Spider-Man spills coffee on girl” and quickly pulling up the video to show you.

She looked up in the teacher’s direction, who was miraculously turned around at the moment, and clicked on the video, turning down her volume.

The video was simple; it was the clip of the “amazing” hero ramming into your back side, you then whipping around, and then followed by the waterfall of curses that escaped your lips. Damn, you needed to chill.

“Holy shit,” you commented, smacking a hand on your forehead, “that’s bad.”

“It’s really not that bad,” she reassured.

“It really is.”

It really was. The view count was 2,045. How you managed to break out into “fame” at age eighteen was beyond you, especially with these circumstances. You would never live this down. You hid your face in your arms and groaned.

You pulled out your phone and sent Riki a text back:

you : i need 2 show u a vid @ lunch

You slid your phone back into your pocket and laughed dryly, “Danielle, this is horrible. I’ve done a great job of staying on the down-low my entire high school career, and I was doing so well. One month until we graduate and I feel like everything I’ve worked for has blown up in my face.”

“Don’t say that,” she grabbed your hand, “it’s really not that bad. It’ll blow over soon, and by graduation, you’ll probably have forgotten all about it.”

You breathed out. This was going to be the death of you.

a/n : aaaaaa

[lemondemonpickuplines]

you, yes YOU could become the next greatest LD pickup artist! that is, if you have a couple free minutes and are a fucking loser. just like me! submit your pickup lines today!

to jumpstart your beautiful and creative minds, I've made a list of songs that are yet to have a line under the cutoff. Remember, though, we're only Lemon Demon in name - you're also welcome to post about a Mouth song, a YouTube video, or anything else that speaks to you and that Neil Cicierega is a part of. GOOD LUCK!

Error

Bowling Alley

Wrong

Hazel's Modus Operandi

Idiot Control Now

Pepper and Salt

Holy Bison Beaks

Fire Motif

Elsewhere

Hydroelectric Viking

The Saga of You

Mr Wolfgang

Destructo

Fly Straight

Oz Explodes

Booja Jabooja

Chu Chu Rocket

Switzerland**

Birdhouse In Your Soul

Mold en Mono

What's In The Toaster

Sunbeam Light Show Flower Seed

Musical Chairs

Matches and Nails**

Relativity

Fancy Pants Manifesto

Go To Hollywood

Sick Puppy**

Almond

Bad Idea

Behold the FUTURE

Not Applicable

Roman Robot Statues

Run, Harry, Run

Take a Picture

There's a Robot in My Head

Dead Sea Monkeys

What Will Happen Will Happen

Subtle Oddities

Gonna Dig up Alec Guinness**

Smell Like a Cookie All Day

Eventuality

March of the Living Figments

Lollipops

Bicycle Race

Fuzzy

Bottom Line

Sky Blue Up

I Want to Wake Up

Stampy

Zero Gravity

Mothers All Over the World

Pirate in a Box

How To Poop

Neil.soul

Dinosaurchestra Part One

Archaeopteryx**

This Hyper World

The Too Much Song

Stick Stickly

Princess Unicorn Bunny Kitten Angel

Abraham Lincoln's Head

Funniest

Snakes On a Plane

Turkeys

Kaleidoskull

Gadzooks**

The Afternoon**

Nightmare Fuel

The Wiggles Hate Each Other In Real Life

You Got a Toothache

320x200

Strangelet

Today's Secret Word

While My Keytar Gently Weeps

Treasure Map

Creepy

Super Hey Ya

Prelude to Presents

Spiral of Ants

Geocities

Angelfire

Gravitron

Moon's Request

Cat Hacks

Kubrick and the Beast

WIERDNESS

Everybody Likes You

Christmas Dog

Clark Kent

Degrassi

eBaum's World Dot Com

Fly Away

Happiest Shit Ever

Sorry For the Text Posts

Experiments in VOPM

Happy Songs

Hydoelectric Viking Funeral

It's Gonna Get Weird

Illemonama Polkarama

Magic Dance

MyNewSong

Pokerap

Prince Ali

Robo

Vanilla

Wiry Song

Wolfden Radio

Yellowfish

Zip-up Rap

**the songs with asterisks may or may not already have lines. my blog is old enough now that I struggle to comb through the whole thing, and tagging isn't always perfect. don't worry about re-using a song, though; as long as it's not an egregious duplication of an existing post, you're alright.

also, I only post every few days, so forgive me if it takes a while to get to your submission. sometimes I don't post lines until months after they've been sent in, so if you've submitted and I haven't posted, it may just be lost in my ass-long queue. or i just don't think it's very good. but you have no way of knowing, do you.

[generationexorcist]

23 Things People Swear They Saw, But Have No Proof Of

The human mind is a complex beast and sometimes we imagine things that couldn't have happened. But other times things feel different and we know exactly what we're looking at even though nobody else would believe us. That's what happened to the 25 people in this gallery, who whether through the paranormal or just plain unlikely, saw things that nobody else would believe.

A common theme in this thread was seeing exotic animals where people weren't supposed to. It seems that outside of the African safari, the Ohio interstate is a great place to spot Zebras. One couple even claims they saw a two-legged wolf dogman.

Sticking with the paranormal, one of the creepier stories in this gallery comes from an electrician who was tasked along with his partner to take readings in a partially constructed house. While he was in the basement, he momentarily got lost in the dark. Although scared, he eventually found the meter and returned to his partner. However, when the pair returned to the basement, it was open and barren, with no walls. His partner also claimed he had been missing down there for a full hour...

eBaum's World

[klapollo]

I think it's very telling how TERFs love to glom onto 4chan or otherwise fascistic community borne phrases like "troon" or "moids" (adjusted from "femoids") in service of their half baked movement. Like yeah you're really doing women's lib by regurgitating the sloppy seconds from corners of the internet that foster some of the worst human behavior ever to exist. got any more praxis hot from ebaums world

[hippy-pants]

listening to the stuff on lemondemon.com/rarities and realizing what I really want is a compilation album a la Misc T that's basically exactly like this but it's a slightly more official release without all the barely-different-from-the-final-version stem tracks and including a couple of 'unreleased' songs (ivanuska, ebaum's world, fly away, etc). wouldn't that be killer

[motorclit]

I got around this shit from a website where you could upload a song, edit what certain amount of seconds you wanted from it, then you... I think you emailed a link to yourself to where you could download it straight to your Cingular flip-phone.

This was back when your ring tone was for ALL calls and you could assign certain ring tones for certain numbers. So back then I had Rammstein's Rosenrot chorus for all my calls, lol.

I never paid shit for ringtones because my mom thought it was stupid and pointless (meanwhile she now has several country songs for ringtones) so I resorted to a website that helped you make custom free ones, lmao. (She also thought texting was stupid and pointless and got mad when classmates in college texted ME because we got charged for RECEIVING texts, and here she is texting total strangers from the internet now. I'm "they used to charge us for individual texts in the cell bill" old.)

[sheda-x]

alright i did a little research looking at this guide from the field museum and then this thing about hydrangeas from the chicago botanical gardens and i *think* its a H. Serrata "mountain hydrangea". it was buzzing as i walked by, totally swarming with all kinds of insects. i hadnt seen so much diversity all going in on one shrub before.

i tried to use this guide to see what wasp it was and wow theres a lot of different wasps. my alliance is with the spiders but i gotta give a moment to these little grim reapers. whats a victory without oppisition. nothing but respect. the one i saw was big as hell and had some red on its head and thorax and the ass was i think mostly black. and the classic needlepoint weapon coming out the tail. it looked a lot like this one:

viggo mortenson famously bought this wasp after they developed a deep bond together on set

cars of note today:

- late model black jeep grand cherokee with big black rims and little lime green brembo brake calipers (dirty)

possible drivers:

+ trucker hat and dark wash diesel jeans restaurant manager

+ younger sibling of a older sibling who taught them all the swears with ebaums world

+ guy charging too much for studio time for local rappers just trying to lay down some verses

- black (1997-1999?) ford taurus sho

+ was the beauty unexpected as that in a perfectly intact crawdad claw found in the dirt on the bank of a shining clearwater creek just outside of town: ✅

- some kind of new and fucked black camaro with a full aero kit

+ vanity license plate: SMACKNS

[kmp78]

Ebaumsworld really!?

"eBaum's World is an entertainment website owned by Literally Media. The site was founded in 2001 and features comedy content such as memes, viral videos, images, and other forms of Internet culture. Content is primarily user submitted in exchange for points through a monetary point system "eBones."

Not the most reliable website for content now is it!? 🤔🙄🥱

Aaaaah so once again when it's a comment saying JL acted like a bitch, it's automatically a lie. 🙄

Like all these other comments claiming that Bourdain was a nice guy are also lies? 🤔

And 👇THIS👇 here is an interesting comment (all lies lies lies of course since apparently everything always is 🥱):

"HE WENT FROM A RAGING ASSHOLE TO A REALLY COOL OLDER DUDE"

JL might wanna take notes. ✍️💯💯💯

[duplecsbow]

I feel like the bots are an inside job tho.. people mostly forget tumblr is even a thing if they’re not in the 25-30+ bracket and have used it for the past 10 years.. the youth ain’t like YOO THAT TUMBLR 🔥🔥🔥 they’re all Stockholm syndromed into IG, XXX and shitkok, cos that’s just what ppl talk about anyway… tumblrs kind of just like livejournal at this point. It reminds me of the vibe of still using livejournal and MySpace back in 2008 when twitter and tumblr was new but nobody thought they’d be anything (lol) I remember my first twitter I made in 2008 when u could still put a bg on ur page. ppl only used it to stalk celebs too.. you couldn’t even post images… I thought it was the dumbest shit ever.

I remember we all migrated and tumblr stuck with the livejournal fandom crowd… it was fun to post anything and everything here and all the web customization was fun as MySpace was over and changing and taking it away.. that was around 2009. 4chan was still The Place too and I remember the WARS all the time cos the tumblrinas used to steal /b’s memes lol… so silly. Kinda reminds me of the ebaums world vs ytmnd wars too.

People aren’t downloading this app or signing up in droves to be on here and I think tumblr has to kinda like. Play the system to stay on the App Store and stay relevant and make it SEEM like there is a rapid user signup but the way they do it is with bots.

I miss when internet was just internet… god I was on here when every 10 min u got this error page because me and my cronies made too many posts

[wizard-mp4]

happy queueing party people $w$

[to2llynottoby]

Yes I remember ytmnd yes I remember ebaum's world yes I say image macro in 2023

[publiusvirgiliamaro]

kate bush is opening an online store where she sells pronouns to script kiddies and unpopular lesbians. it's going to be called "eBaum's World"