#eating soup and being warm inside kinda thought

[greenie-ghost]

so particles can affect each other in a bunch of funky ways across space and time but i’m meant to accept that there aren’t people and places and things that im tied to by fate. like i’m just supposed to sit here knowing an atom just did a thing and it impacted something so far from it and what? accept that i’m not affected and affecting things in turn? ok sure sure sure cool cool

[lowkeyrobin]

Headcanons for mcyt x reader doing a cooking/baking stream together??

I love your writing!!!

<3

ooooo okay okay!!! yes of course bro ; also thank you!! I appreciate it sm 🫶🫶🫶🫶

MCYT ; cooking/baking stream

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language, grease fires

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you guys were making lasanga

Garfield jokes every five minutes

there's pasta sauce and cheese everywhere

he's constantly screaming to the viewers because you keep slapping him with the lasagna sheets, cooked or dry

"y/n! help! I'm being assaulted with lasagna sheets!"

he stained his shirt with pasta sauce 💀💀

almost set the house on fire bc he somehow left shit in the oven before preheating it

you turn on music halfway through and it turns into a karaoke stream

"CALIFORNIA GIRLS WERE UNFORGETTABLE-"

RANBOO

you were making soup because you found a good recipe you wanted to try

you accidently spilled the broth and covered your legs in it

he cut himself chopping up the celery (very minor cut dw)

"cooking stream? more like we injure ourselves for two hours stream"

"cooking stream? I hardly know her"

very chaotic but very good soup

during the intervals where you guys were just waiting for things to cook, you started a hashtag on Twitter to ask you guys stuff

and you answered them while keeping an eye on the food

afterwards you guys watch TV and eat your food while still streaming

"normalize eating on stream 2024!"

FREDDIE BADLINU

you were making breakfast for dinner on stream

you had to go use the bathroom while the bacon was cooking and left Freddie to tend to everything for less than a minute

and he started a grease fire.

after he got it extinguished he kinda just stood there waiting for you

meanwhile chat was exploding with panic and laughter

"Hey, y/n, I don't think we're having bacon tonight!"

"What the fuck happened???"

luckily no damage to anything other than the meat

the rest of it was really good though, and the stream had enough action for tonight 💀💀

NIKI NIHACHU

you guys were making cupcakes

you dropped like two eggs 💀💀💀 so while she was getting new ones you were cleaning up all the eggshell fragments and the insides

you got the camera to show stream your fucking mess and someone sent a dono saying "butterfingers ass"

the cackling after that 💀

you're able to get them into the oven though

and while you're waiting for them to cook, you watch dance moms and discuss everything wrong with it

commentary youtubers? I hardly know them

she begins making the icing while you pull the cupcakes out to let them cool

10/10 cupcakes they're amazing

you guys had a pride flag theme so lmao

ALEX QUACKITY

you were supposed to be making pancakes as a little challenge

his are literally raw and he put chocolate chips from the freezer straight in them

"that banana isn't gonna help anything"

"how do you know that??"

flour is everywhere. it looks like a war started

you put to much non-stick spray on the skillet and started a little fire

but Alex to the rescue dw

he couldn't even figure out how to use it and almost sprayed himself in the face!

goes on Twitter later to update that your kitchen was completely fine but the underneath of your microwave is a tiny bit melted

you blame him every time after that 💀💀

"my microwave melted a bit because you don't know how to use a fire extinguisher!"

"youre the one who used too much spray!"

chat always sides with you, too 😭😭

FOOLISH GAMERS

you thought making fried rice was a good idea? wrong

he literally has no idea what's happening

"can you make the scrambled eggs for me while I tend to the vegetables?"

"how many?"

"they're literally on the cabinet"

chat clipping every single funny moment too

"is the rice cooker even on? holy shit you left it on warm"

"I thought that meant it was on!"

"dude you've used this thing before, how long did it take for you to cook it?"

"like, forever"

"oh my god"

fried rice 10/10

he's complaining about the vegetables like he didn't have like two hours to say something about different veggies

[ghostieyanyan]

~Yandere Regrets~

Yan!Ruggie x mc

Yan!Silver x mc

Yan!Cater x mc

Yan!Vil x mc

i thought of this a while ago so hehe.. what does a yandere regret? where's the line for yanderes? hurting their darling? punishment? threats??

Warnings: death, hinted of child birth (its still gender neutral but if you feel uncomfortable with it, you can just say its yandere delusions ^^), sleep spell, manipulation, self-loathing, death threats, hate mail(?), mind break, kinda creeping

~~~~~

Ruggie

you were supposed to be fine.. this wasn't how it suppose to be... you and him were supposed to grow old and die together. but no. Life always had to spit in his face.

He was stupid.. you were so different from him and he didn't even think about what your body was strong or weak against. the cold in the slums was easy for him to handle, duh, he grew up there... but you were different...

he should have given you vaccines or something to protect you from the slums sicknesses. he should have slowly eased you into the slums with his family... to build up your immune system.

he couldn't get mad at anyone... only himself..

Ruggie wanted you to be part of his life so badly, he took you to the slums in the dead of night and never looked bad at NRC.

Crowley found the way to your world and you just had a week to say your goodbyes... he didn't want you to leave! he didn't want to say goodbye!

the timing was awful... if it was around the end of the year, he could have graduated and then he'll get a good job to support his family, you, and the family he'd like to make with you..

but he was impassion and scared he'll lose you forever.. and he ultimately lost you in the most cruelest ways.

in the slums, everyone knows that you have to be very careful to not get sick. cuts are even worst. sickness means you need medicine, medicine cost money, which they don't have...

it was supposed to just be a common cold...

it was winter time, the snow was starting to fall and covered the slums in a thin layer of snow. it'll likely go away in the morning but it was still cold out. even in sunset savanna.

Most of the kids stayed inside because of the cold. some, who can handle the cold, were playing outside.

Ruggie was with his grandma making you soup. you had a pretty nasty cough and they insisted on something warm in you system would help.

how did his grandma take him bringing you home..? he promised her some great grandkids and she was down for it.. and to say she scared you more than ruggie's threats on if you were to ran away was an understatement. she was living proof on how scary female hyenas could be..

you were supposed to be fine.. the soup was supposed to make you feel better.. he always got better after the soup. but you were different, unique, one of a kind... that's why he fell in love with you..

he knew you didn't love him. he wasn't a good man. he took you away from your home, not just from the mirror, but NRC. he knew you loved being a part of NRC. helping out, even when Crowley forced you, you still enjoyed it...

he thought you could learn to love him and you two would work hard to provide for your family in the slums... and one day work hard enough to better the slums, or everyone.

instead... you died that winter.. because of that stupid cough. and he's now alone... the one thing he didn't want...

he had to say goodbye..

~~~~~

Silver

When silver was a kid, his father would tell him all the stories he knows, which were a lot. his favorites, as a kid, were the stories where the prince or knight characters protects their home and loved ones.

he told his father that when he grows up, he wants to be strong enough to protect everyone he loves. his father told him at he should train and eat a lot to grow strong and maybe he'll find his "royal stuck in their tower~" or "royal stuck in a death like sleep~"

Silver felt that his father always had his head in the clouds for these, "cheesy" scenarios. he personal didn't mind it though. he, himself, didn't know if he'll find his other half but he's not the type that will roll around in his sleep about it...

he thought..

when silver first heard about you, it came from the news of "a newcomer with no magic and a wild monster came to the school ceremony and caused mayhem." but how Lilia described it was "an excited turn of events." silver didn't mind it too much.

he only hear more about you when malleus was telling him, sebek, and Lilia about the child of man staying in the abandoned dorm and how you invited him to this event, not knowing who he is. with how malleus spoke so highly of you, made him curious of this perfect.

he also over heard how you always finding yourself into a bunch of overblot situations. he hasn't even met you and you already sound amazing. kinda like the princes or knights of those old stories...

to say he was charmed by the mysteriousness of you was an understatement. he wanted to go out and just meet you to understand you better but he was always busy. school, clubs, protect malleus, naps, theres a lot on his plate but what can you do.

when he finally met you, from school events or school trips, each time you were with him it felt so warm and comforting. you were so calm and gentle with him, not like he need that but it was a nice feeling. whenever he fell asleep, he'll either wake up to you stering him or with his head resting in your lap. he never want this feeling to end. Silver wants to keep waking up besides you, for the rest of his life.

when he told Lilia about it, how he should confess to you and all. Lilia told him that he over heard you and your first year friends talking about making a break through about you going home, so this confess better be big...

he grew silent, which is normal for him but this was a different silent and lilia could tell..

"how about you show them how much you love them? that your love has no bounds. from twisted wonderland to other realms out there~"

even with lilia cheesy rometic preaching, he had a point. but how..? he wants to show you that you were important to him and that he'll protect you. he'll be your prince to... wake you...

silver stopped by your dorm late, you were just about to go to bed but he asked for time and how it was really important. you agreed and you both decided to talk outside. he started to tell you about his childhood and his love your fairy tale stories his father use to tell him. he told you how he loved you and wanted to show you that both of you were meant to be. he held your hand and pulled out a needle from his pocket.

you started to get scared and tried to pull away but it was untimely useless. silver just over powered you so easily. with one prike from the needle, you stared to feel dizzy and felt like your head ached. you fell into silver's chest which is arms snaked around you.

"it'll be okay.. ill wake you up.. and you'll understand that we were meant to be~"

he picked you up and gave you a sweet soft kiss on your lips.

he waited... and waited... and gave you a kiss again... and waited..

you didnt open your eyes.

~~~~~

Cater

Cater hated being with his family... his dad wasn't there when he needed him, his sisters treated him like an object or play thing, and his mom enables his sisters... if his friends invites him to any family related events, he'll take it in a heartbeat just to be away from his family. he'd rather die than admit that his sisters didn't have an influence on his behavior as a kid and even now that he's older.

when he first saw you, he thought you were the cutest thing in all of twisted wonderland. Cute little perfect, lost in an unknown world and at the mercy of everyone here. like a little animal that lost their way and that doesn't know better, but he'll help this cute lost animal.

it definitely helped his case, with how much ace and deuce brings you around. plus they often leave you to your lonesome because they cause some trouble and drag grim along too. what his luck~

At first he didn't mind sharing you with Trey, you all often spent time together watching trey bake and talking about any drama or rumors from school, trey didn't really mind the drama but he enjoyed the company.

the more Cater spent time with you, the more he fell for you. and when you come to him for anything, his heart skips a beat. you're just too precious in his eyes.

You both made it a thing that he'll come to you to online shop, mainly browsing because you couldn't effort anything. but every time you pointed something you liked, he always had something to say about it.

"i don't know about that... i think this one will match you better~! you'll look so cute in it~"

you didn't really mind, it wasn't like you took it personal... you shouldn't.. right?

sometimes Cater will stop by the Ramshackle dorm and bring you a "goodie bag." it was either the stuff he said you would look good in or some other cute stuff. pins, hair clips, hair ties, accessories, plushies, etc. some of the things weren't in your wheel house of interests but telling Cater you didn't like them when he looks so happy didn't feel right...

so you just allowed him to do whatever he liked.. it wasn't hurting anyone right..?

it wasn't-... it didn't hurt anymore. his teases that felt like hard jabs into your looks and insecurities, didn't hurt as badly anymore. without you realizing it, Cater was the one to dress you up and tell you what to do, eat, and how to think. you thought about it, why didn't you say anything..? well.. cater will be upset. every time you tell him you had a problem with how he treats you, he gets really sad and you just didn't like it one bit... it was too much to keep fighting it.. you were tired... you were drained..

cater and his "helpful inputs" just made you feel insecure of yourself. maybe you really need cater's help. you don't want to be a sore thumb to the people you care for, right?

"hey, what do you think about this? pref-?"

cater looked at you and he froze... he knows that look in your eyes. the pain.. the hurt.. the empty look.. the helplessness..

he's being the monster of his sisters.. to you...

~~~~~

Vil

Vil is a highly respected figure in twisted wonderland. his looks and his voice, his mere presences is a blessing for some people (his fans-). he has to be perfect, he only expects himself to be perfect. with the people around him, he tries his best to not being so strict about them being perfect but as long as they work for that goal, he cant complain too much.

when he met you, he cant say much or you might get crunched under all his critiques. but he admires how hard working you are, whether you like to be or not. to say vil enjoyed your clumsy potato charm was an understatement. the more he watched you, the more he was charmed~

he tired not to be too harsh on you, you are doing your best with the hand you have been delt, but still do you always have to slouch like that?

Whenever you see Vil, he always gives you "advice" whether if they are convention advice, with vil statures and position, you couldn't really say no...

without you realizing it, you find vil appearing more into your life. when you pass your classes, when your getting any paper work for Crowley, even when you are heading back to your dorm..! Vil requested Rook to get your weekly scheule...

at this rate, you'll see vil more than your friends, the only time you see your friends were in class and lunch.

you confronted vil, asking him if something was wrong.

oh boy~ he loves how you could stand up to him~

likely for him, being a great actor comes into his favor when he has to convince you that he's not creeping on you.

"i just like to check up on you. even if your aren't part of the main dorms. i cant let you make a joke out of NRC just because you are magicless"

he lend into you, reaching his hands to your face-!!

"your uniform is also messed up, potato. do i have to do everything for you!"

"o-oh..."

he starts to fix up your uniform and takes his leave. leaving you to process what happened..?

meanwhile someone with a certain hat took a picture and shared it on magicam. news broke out and rumors like "Vil isn't single anymore?!?!" and "who is this mysterious person?!" broke out like wild fire. you only hear about it from Cater who was upset that you didn't say you were in a relationship, much less, to vil!

but with rumors and a big following of vil's fans, comes lots of hate. you don't even have Magicam but you hear all the hate from your friends, classmates, and even classmates that weren't in your class or grade!! they were all getting concerned..

you're address got leaked and you were sent hate mail and death threats everyday! one person even sent pictures of you when you were out on a school event. it wasn't safe for you anymore. this took such a mental tole on you that Crowley had to asked a favor from Ambrose LXIII and have you transfer to RSA...

you didn't want to leave.. but you didn't have a chose anymore..

~

the picture was suppose to lead you to him... you were suppose to run to him, crying in his arms to protect you. Vil was suppose to be your knight in shining armor...

~~~~~

[jinnyurr]

Hi hello!! I want to request SFW, Archer Emiya x M! master where its the gruff care thingy, specifically the "Sit up and take the olate, im not going to handfeed you" i think that fits him very well

A/N: thank you for the first request, anon, i hope you enjoy this! Its kinda hard to write Emiya's stoic character, but i persist. A side of caster cu in the first half, i hope you dont mind.

3,07k words. Enjoy the read.

A thick layer of silence cloaked your room, broken only by the soft, rhythmic rise and fall of your chest. Curled beneath a mountain of blankets, you lay still, your face pale and etched with the strains of illness—albeit your face devoid of life, you feel your cheeks and forehead heating up with each intake of breath you take; your lungs ablaze.

You tilted your head with half lidded eyes, vision blurry as you slowly blink trying to make out the silhouette that's right next to you. You blink several times, attempting to get rid of the foggy haze clouding your mind. Not long, your head manages to recognize the patterns; blue fur robe, black tight crop top— your servant, Caster Cu Chulainn, sat perched on the edge of the bed.

No words were exchanged, instead, you feel his broad hand hovering over your forehead before gently placing it down. You wince slightly from the sudden contact, his hand cool against your fiery skin as your mouth opened slightly, taking in puffs of breaths.

Your heavy eyes are fighting to stay open as you try to peer into his gaze ; Caster's piercing crimson eyes, usually filled with a warrior's ferocity, held a tender concern as he monitored your temperature.

“Master, your temp ‘s way too high,” he sighs, pulling away his hand from your forehead while he lets out a small hiss, placing his hand back down on the sheets, “there's a cooling rune I could use, but I think archer wouldn't like that.”

Archer? Which archer?— your eyes squint as you're trying to figure out which archer he's implying to, that is until you saw the usual mischievous glint appearing in those crimson eyes, decorating his somewhat serious face.

You sighed, closing your eyes. Ah, Emiya. You remembered that Caster likes to tease Emiya about anything when it comes to you. Your archer has never been the type to directly say to you that he cares or worries for your well being, in fact, if you recall his words, it's anything but nice and caring.

You still remembered the moment he snatched the cooking utensils from your hands and said that you're better off not inside the kitchen. You saw the disappointed look in his eyes for a brief moment before your other servants snatched you away, trying to cheer you up.

“Maybe I should use it, see how archer reacts, eh?” your thoughts were broken off and your eyes opened as Caster stood up from the bed, now fully facing you with a sharp grin plastered on his face. One of his hands went up, index finger up and ready to trace shapes in the air, “cooling rune, was it..” his brows furrowed, focusing on his fingers.

With practiced movements, his fingers began tracing shapes in the air; your heavy eyes followed his movements the best you can, feeling tired midway as Caster does an elaborate gesture with his index finger.

Unfortunately, before he could finish, the door to your room opened with a smooth swoosh sound and not long after you hear Caster yelping, followed by the sound of the door sliding shut.

You shifted your head to the side again, facing the door; the pillow felt warm- unnecessarily warm from the effect of laying your head too long on one side. The smell of various foods infiltrated your senses, giving strength to your body as your eyes opened wider.

There, you saw your archer holding a silver tray filled with what seems to be a bowl of soup and some eating utensils, accompanied by some side dishes. The look on his face is the same as always; stern, firm and serious, however, your tired eyes managed to catch a slight glimpse where Emiya's gaze softened upon seeing your state- only for a brief moment before it was masked back by his usual demeanor.

A coughing fit attacked your throat as Emiya placed down the silver tray, laden with a steaming bowl with a quiet clink. A subtle frown creased his brow, a familiar line etched into his face. Your hand went up to cover your mouth as your throat felt like it was suffocating— this really couldn't get any worse.

The scent of the soup, a rich concoction of vegetables and meat, filled the air, mingling with the clinical odor of your room. Emiya's nostrils flared slightly, a silent acknowledgment of the warmth and nourishment it promised.

Unfortunately, You caught a fever during a mission, presumably because of the plants there throwing out some pheromones or something that tickled your nose buds and went further down into your system, causing a fever to ignite within your body as a defense mechanism.

Your servants easily got rid of the said plants, but their pheromones have already gotten into you, and you didn't mind it at first, which was a big mistake leading up to you getting bedridden in the present.

With a sigh, Emiya began to unpack the utensils, his movements efficient yet gentle. Swiftly, he pulled a nearby stool as he took a seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest while he faced your weakened body.

Your chest heaves heavily as your head feels like it's nailed onto your pillow; your eyes that were momentarily strengthened by the scent of delicious food quickly return to their previous state as they look up, searching for Emiya's face.

His expression remained unchanged, his face a mask of controlled indifference. A soft click of his tongue echoed in the quiet room. It was a small gesture, almost imperceptible, but it carried the weight of unspoken words. It was a silent reprimand, a chastising of his master's carelessness.

His eyes, a deep dark gray, scanned your form, taking in the pale complexion and the way the blankets were pulled up to your chin. You feel exposed albeit the weighted blanket covering almost of your entire body, his gaze left no place for you to hide.

For a brief moment, there was a flicker of something akin to disappointment in their depths, a stark contrast to the usual coldness of his expression. It was a fleeting moment, quickly masked by the familiar facade, but it was there, a silent accusation of weakness.

You blinked slowly. Weakness? Why was there weakness? Was your archer thinking you're weak?

You felt small under the weight of that gaze, a sense of inadequacy creeping into your consciousness. You huddled deeper into the blankets, as if seeking refuge from the penetrating scrutiny. Every imperfection, every sign of vulnerability, was laid bare under Emiya's unwavering stare.

The silence stretched on, heavy and oppressive, as you grappled with a mix of shame and helplessness.

Emiya's gaze remained fixed, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. His lips were pressed into a thin line, a stubborn set to his jaw. It was a posture of defiance, a refusal to yield to weakness. Yet, there was an undercurrent of concern, a flicker of empathy hidden beneath the layers of stoicism—

—oh. He didn't think you were weak— no, not at all! Your hazy brain and the fact that you're pressured under his stern gaze made you think that you were perceived as weak for falling ill just because of some plant, but truly it was far from that.

Your archer was blaming himself.

He blamed himself for he couldn't protect you, causing you to be bedridden. He blamed himself for not noticing the symptoms sooner, if he did, at least he could have prevented all of this. He was the closest to you, he's been there when you were still learning how to be a better master, he—

"I'm not going to hand-feed you,"

The silence was broken. Emiya's voice was low, a stark contrast to the usual harsh tones. His words were a command, but there was an underlying note of exasperation.

"Sit up and take the bowl." he added, his voice firm, laced with a hint of impatience.

Just as your mind wandered to how Emiya was falling into the depths of self blame, his stern voice rang through your foggy head, clearing all your remaining thoughts about him and forcing you to focus on the possibility of how you were being reckless, causing the archer to be disappointed at you.

Suddenly,the weighted blanket feels a little bit too heavy— they felt like heated bricks stacked onto each other and placed firmly down on your chest as well as your head, your heart skipped a beat at the coldness in Emiya's voice. It was a sharp pang, A wave of self-consciousness washed over you, a deep-seated fear of disappointing your archer.

With a determined effort, you pushed yourself up into a sitting position, your body trembling with exertion as your head felt like it was filled with molten lead.

The world spun around you, a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes. Your vision blurred, and a cold sweat broke out on your forehead. Shit. You moved too quickly. You subtly clutched at the edge of the bed, your knuckles slowly becoming whiter than it already is as you try to keep in mind that you don't want Emiya to see you struggling more than you have.

Emiya's figure was a hazy outline, a distant presence that seemed to grow larger and more imposing with every passing moment. The archer's arms remained crossed, his expression unchanged, a silent judgment hanging in the air.

Your body felt like it was on fire, a furnace consuming you from within. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block out the world. But the darkness was filled with the image of Emiya, his stern gaze and disapproving expression. A deep sense of shame washed over you, a heavy weight pressing down on your chest.

Your hands trembled as they reached up to touch your burning forehead. The coolness of your skin offered a brief respite from the fiery inferno within, however, the relief was short-lived, replaced by a fresh wave of dizziness.

Emiya watched with a critical eye as you struggled to comply with his command. There was a flicker of satisfaction in his gaze as he witnessed your determination to overcome the illness. He had always believed in his master's strength, your resilience in the face of adversity.

As your hands found their way to your forehead, Emiya's attention sharpened. Your breathing was labored, your face flushed with fever. A flicker of concern passed through Emiya's eyes, but it was quickly suppressed. He had to remain strong, to provide the necessary support without succumbing to weakness.

Your body swayed precariously; grip on the bed loosening. Emiya's heart skipped a beat. This was not part of the plan.

You were weaker than he had anticipated. Panic surged through him, a cold dread settling in the pit of his stomach. His arms, previously crossed defensively, relaxed, his hands hovering near the edge of the bed, ready to intervene if necessary.

Then, not even a moment later, his instincts had proved him right. Your head lolled to one side, your eyes glazed over as consciousness slipped away; you found your head landing against Emiya's broad chest with a soft thud.

Your body felt limp as you took shallow and ragged breaths,the heat consuming your vision. Your head could barely manage to register the soft hiss that came out of Emiya's mouth, let alone the feeling of his well toned arms wrapping around your weakened form firmly yet gently.

Emiya had his arms wrapped around you in a protective way while your temple rested comfortably against his chest; the material of his clothing cool against your constantly ablaze skin. He had miscalculated his master's strength, but he admired the way you're willing to push through.

A soft sigh escaped his lips as one of his hands went up, palm pressing lightly on your forehead to check your temperature.

…

Emiya wished he had asked Caster earlier about your temperature rather than just yanking him out of the room by that stupid blue robe of his. If Emiya had known that your temperature was this high, he would've loosen the gruff personality he had while handling you.

His calloused hand slowly pulled away, back to wrapping around your frame; it seems like he was more careless than he'd like to admit.

In your half dazed state, you'd half expect him to scold you for swaying and falling unconscious from such a simple command, but you waited and waited, and the words you expected to hear never came.

Instead, all you got was Emiya easily manhandling you as he lifted you up so that your lower half were now straddling his lap instead of uncomfortably planted on the bed while your upper half leaned against his body. He carefully placed your head so that your head could lean on his left shoulder whilst the rest of your body is nestled perfectly against his own.

The cool warmth of Emiya's body cooled your feverish skin, you squeezed your eyes shut, allowing yourself to lean against him, “..this… feelsh..nice” you muttered the best you can, enjoying his presence.

“..Master, are you okay?” He had questioned as he felt you sneaking your face into the crook of his neck, much like a puppy huddling closer with his litter to seek for warmth.

You answered with a soft hum as your arms went up to wrap around his neck, shifting into a more comfortable position, “mmn,” you had always liked the way Emiya's body would feel against yours— one time he had to carry you away swiftly because an aggressive enemy had ambushed you, and at that precise moment you realized that you wished Emiya would hold you more like this.

Emiya carefully adjusted his hold, ensuring you were comfortable. The young man was limp in his arms, a weight that felt strangely familiar yet utterly foreign. His heart pounded in his chest, an unfamiliar sensation that was both exhilarating and terrifying— he had never been this close to you before, never felt his body so intimately against his own.

Sure, he prides himself on being close to his master, but not in this way. Never had Emiya been this close to you, more like he never allowed himself to be this close to you. He cares for you, that much is true, however, he doesn't show it like your other servants.

His care is shown through the foods he cooked you after farms and missions, his care is shown through the way he shields you from attack and carries you away from danger— his care is shown through the way how he wants to see you grow and become a strong master, and he'll be there to support your every step, even if it means being tough on you.

His hands found a natural home, one resting on your back, the other gently tracing circles on your waist. The warmth of your skin seeped through his clothes, sending a shiver down his spine.

He fought to suppress the emotions swirling within him, to maintain the facade of indifference. But the truth was, he was utterly captivated by the vulnerability of the person in his arms.

A sense of protectiveness washed over him, a primal instinct to shield you from harm. He had always been the protector, the one who stood between you and danger. But now, in this moment of intimacy, he felt a new level of responsibility, a desire to care for you on a deeper level.

You stirred in your sleep, your body twitching involuntarily. Emiya tightened his grip, offering a sense of stability in the midst of your restlessness. He could feel the heat radiating from your body, a constant reminder of your illness.

Right. Your illness.

Emiya let out a soft sigh, the sound lost in the quiet of your room. He glanced down at his master, your peaceful slumber a stark contrast to the chaos that had preceded it.

His mind drifted to the bowl of soup, carefully prepared with ingredients specifically chosen to aid in recovery. He had hoped to coax you into eating it, to provide nourishment for your weakened body.

His gaze shifted from you to the tray on the small table, the steam from the soup now barely visible; a wave of conflicting emotions washed over him. There was a part of him that wanted to shake you awake, to insist that you eat- It was his duty, his responsibility to ensure your health. But as he looked at your peaceful slumber, a different part of him, a softer, more vulnerable side, protested. You looked so small— so vulnerable in his arms.

A battle raged within him, a conflict between duty and compassion.The soup was cooling rapidly, its medicinal properties diminishing with each passing moment— the soup was indeed important, a crucial step in his master's recovery. But so was rest.

Perhaps a few more moments of sleep would do more good than a bowl of soup…

Emiya's fingers traced the outline of your face, a gentle caress that seemed to deepen their slumber.

With a heavy heart, he made a decision.

The soup could wait. For now, his priority was your comfort. He adjusted his hold, ensuring you were cradled securely against his chest. Your weight was a comforting presence, a reminder of your reliance on him.

Emiya closed his eyes, the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest a soothing lullaby. He allowed himself a moment of peace, a respite from the constant demands of his role as a Servant. In this quiet moment, he felt a sense of connection with his master, a bond forged in the crucible of their shared experiences.

Your room fell silent, the only sound was the ticking of the clock on the wall and the now soft and calm breaths emitting from you. Emiya held you close, a silent promise of protection and care.

For now, this was enough.

[whumpshaped]

Stray 4

prev masterlist

tw institutional/systemic pet whump, second person pov (and you're the pet!)

You stare at the bowl for a while, contemplating. Technically, he didn't do anything to prevent you from eating it. However... if he comes back, would he still let you have the better food if you ate the paste? You have no idea. And now that he left the cat food, you probably won't lose out on anything if you just give him a moment to bring whatever he wants.

But that doesn't mean you have to leave it out in the open for any real stray cat to snatch up either.

You quickly walk over to the bowl and grab it, then scurry back behind the dumpster. You find yourself fantasising about better food despite yourself. In the shelter, you have been given bread with a crunchy exterior and soft middle, topped with the tastiest cheese and wonderfully fresh vegetables. They have given you warm soup with soft potatoes in it, and sometimes, on really special days, they have even allowed you to have a cupcake. They never told you what the occasion was, but it must've been something good.

It's so easy to romanticise your life from back then. So easy to regret running. So easy to think that maybe, maybe this man will treat you as gently and lovingly as the staff in the shelter have.

You stare at the cat food paste, the stench of it almost as bad as the taste. You close your eyes and try to imagine a bowl of soup instead, something that would warm you up from the inside out even in this harsh, cold weather. You really hope he brings you soup. There is nothing you want more than soup.

You can't help flinching when you hear footsteps from the open end of the alley, but the familiar voice puts you at ease. "Hey, love. I'm back." The man is panting, but he's clearly doing his best to sound as soothing as possible. "I brought lots of stuff for you... You're... still here, yeah?"

You poke your head out and he lets out a relieved sigh. Your eyes widen at the array of food in his hands. And is that—

"I have some soup here... Well, it's just some instant noodles. But I thought you might appreciate the warm stuff... And I also brought some crackers, in case you didn't like the noodles... These are kinda plain, but uh, I don't know what you like, so... Oh, and I had this pre-packaged sandwich too, so I brought that as well... I even threw in an apple in case you liked none of the other options— I'm sorry, I got a little carried away. I hope there's something here that you like."

You're practically vibrating with hunger. Your stomach is rumbling so loudly, there's no way he can't hear it. Why won't he put those down and go away? You really, really want to have at them.

"The only issue is... I'm kind of holding them very awkwardly," he says sheepishly. "I'm afraid I'll drop the soup if I try to put anything down. Can you, um... Can you please take that from me?"

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @project-xiii @justletmereadmywhump @sariadragon @sowhumpful @books-are-everything @littlespacecastle @captain-bo-bob-bobby @morning-star-whump @a-formless-entity @nyooom @100percentevil @catnykit @whumpinthepot @snakebites-and-ink @expressionless-fr

[manestjerne]

Let me save you pt. VI

Juice Ortiz x female

Word count: 6.7k

Warnings: blood, bad language, violence, mentions of sex(?), angst

A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for such a long break, I had this in my drafts for some time, but couldn't get myself to post it, but I'm back now and I'll try to be more consistent 🫶🏻

Walking to the kitchen alone in the morning was a really bad decision. The place was a complete mess and so many things I never wanted to see flashed before my eyes. Passing a few people I really wanted to stop and make sure they’re still alive, but gladly I just walked pass by the disgusting scene, making sure I won’t put my foot in anything on the floor, either people or weird, unrecognized substances. Too early to eat anything as always I just poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down by the kitchen table, praying no one walks in. I haven’t talked with anybody besides Juice about yesterdays situation and I wasn’t sure if they approved what I did. Gemma is probably proud. Looking at the shelves filled with instant food packages I realized I used to do much worse things. Yeah, but you were home. Your place. It’s not my place anymore, but it was back then. I don’t think I have my place now, but it’s definitely not here. Showing up at night looking like I was hit by a truck and then showing some attitude to a girl who’s from here was probably not the best option. Was it? I locked my eyes on a canned chicken soup and my stomach turned upside down. That’s disgusting. 

- Hey - I flinched when Bobby pulled me out of my thoughts 

- You’re up early.

It’s not early, but looking at how many people were still passed out it was surprising to see someone alive.

- Decided to give my liver a rest yesterday - he replied calmly pouring himself a cup of fresh coffee and sitting next to me - What about you? 

- My liver deserved a rest years ago, I’m too old for that kind of parties - I said jokingly to keep the conversation as far from the shattered glasses as I could 

- I don’t know how he did that, but Chibs told us you’re not letting things like that slide easily. 

Shit, my brilliant plan didn’t work.

- Look, I don’t want to sound like a toddler, but she started. I’m not here to cause any drama.

- Actually - he looked down trying to hide his smile - I’m sure some people there were glad somebody finally did that. 

- What do you mean? - he tried to lock his eyes with mine but I kept looking at the chicken soup in the corner 

- See, Ima is the CaraCara girl.  Not many are fond of her, but she’s making good money with Layla, and there’s actually no reason to get rid of her, a pornstar being annoying and slutty is not that much of a deal when you think about it. I work at the studio as an accountant so I spend quite a lot of time with the girls, maybe I don’t know them that well, but you know…

- Deep inside she’s just a lost, lovely girl? - I asked with a little sarcasm when I saw him struggling to finish the sentence, but he bursted out laughing 

- No, she’s really just an annoying slut, I don’t know where I was going there.

I finally left the soup and looked at him laughing, felt a smile forming on my face.

- Just don’t blame yourself, you sat here looking like you had a moral hangover.

- I don’t actually blame myself, but feels like I needed someone else to say that, thanks Bobby.

He replied with a warm smile. 

- I should go and finish the party for good now, see you later.

I sat there for a minute after he left. It’s kinda sad people approach me when I’m just sitting alone, my resting face must be extremely depressed. I slowly got up from the chair and dragged my feet back to the bedroom. When I walked into the room Juice just got out of the bathroom. I looked at the single cup of coffee in my hand. Lovely. 

- And that’s… for you - I smiled and handed him the cup which he accepted with his hand still wet from the shower

- Oh wow, so lovely, you went there just to get me a coffee and didn’t even think about yourself? - he took a sip and handed me the cup back with a smile 

- I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that. 

He would bring me a coffee. 

- Who were you talking to? - he asked calmly but I felt shivers anyway

- No one. 

Why would I lie? What’s the point? He turned back to me and laughed politely to ensure me he’s not mad, but curious. 

- You were sitting there for so long alone? Come on, I just want to know if you’re getting along with anybody - he still smiled softly putting on  his shirt 

- Oh, excuse me? - I laughed forgetting about how uncomfortable I just was - I was talking with Bobby, but just so you know, I get along with a lot of people here. Like Lyla, she’s great. And Chibs. And Tig. Oh, and Opie, yeah, Opie’s cool. And… And Chucky! 

- Okay, alright - he wrapped his arms around me to stop me from thinking of more names - I’m glad you’re feeling good here. 

- Yeah, about feeling good, it’s great here, but can we go home? 

- Sure - he said not letting me go

- I believe you have to let me go so I can grab my stuff and get in the car. 

- Oh Christ, sorry I was even touching you princess. Want me to carry you so your shoes don’t get too dirty? - he responded handing me my bag 

How is he smiling all the time? That’s probably the thing I love about him the most, but that’s also something to think about. On our way to the car we stopped at the bar. Bobby sitting on the stool with his face hidden in his hands was looking pretty pathetic. But not so pathetic as all the people still lying in different, sometimes weird places. 

- How was your finishing the party? - I asked putting my hand on his shoulder, he patted it lightly 

- Just as you can see. You know what? - he looked at our bags - I’m going home too, Clay should handle this, I’m not responsible for other charters, am I? 

- You should go - Juice said firmly, exactly as he needed, Bobby immediately got up and walked us to the car 

- I believe todays vote will be postponed for tomorrow - he said before Juice sat behind the wheel - use your day off well.

Looking at me he smiled once again and next seconds Juice was starting the engine. 

- Gross - I said jokingly 

- What do you mean? 

- That thing about your “day off”. Use it well. On me? Come on. 

- That’s not what he meant - he sounded serious, but a smile was still fully visible on his face 

- Then what did he mean? 

- He definitely meant my bike, I should work on it - he now laughed out loud - by the way, you saw it? 

I moved my head and looked out through the window. 

- Saw what? 

- My bike. 

- Yeah, I see it pretty much everyday, it’s hard to not see it when you live with a biker. It’s nice, even lovely I’d say. 

- I don’t mean that one. 

I kept looking through the window acting like I don’t know about the other one hidden in the garage. He shouldn’t be mad, I definitely didn’t break anything, but maybe he doesn’t know I’ve touched it, why should I tell him myself? 

- You have more than one bike? That’s so cool - I smiled to myself and felt him staring at the back of my head 

- Y/n, you know I won’t be mad. 

- Mad? About what? - I realized he can see my face in the reflection on the glass so I immediately stopped smiling and looked at him. 

- Just wanted to tell that you did well - he smiled at my reaction - must’ve taken you a few hours, huh? 

- I’m sorry, but it’s pretty boring to be alone and not at home, I was looking for anything to do. And when did you even have time to see that I’ve touched it? I left all the tools exactly where they were before, you have like a dairy or what? - I laughed and realized we were pulling into the driveway 

- Sometimes when I can’t sleep and think too much I go there trying to relax, so you don’t know I did that probably because you were sleeping. 

- You know - I stopped because he rushed to open the door for me right after he parked - you know you can talk to me? I’m probably better at that stuff than your secret bike. 

- I’m not schizophrenic or anything, I do all the talking in my head so it won’t be weird. 

I just gave him a meaningful look and followed him inside. 

- I’m worried about tomorrow - I said after settling on the couch 

- What’s tomorrow? Your first day at work? - my blank stare must’ve said everything because he continued without my answer - Why? You did all that nursing stuff before, didn’t you? 

- No, I’ve actually never done that, that’s why they hired me. What’s wrong with you today? - I took a sip of  my tea waiting for his response wondering if I’m not too harsh, but he laughed as softly as always 

- I think I’m just tired. 

- Tired of bitches hitting up on you all night? 

- Alright, from what I can remember there was only one bitch hitting up on me yesterday. 

- And I really hope you mean Ima - I laughed 

I was pretty shocked I got over it so fast and didn’t overthink what happened last night. 

- Well, you definitely don’t need to beg me for attention so I definitely didn’t mean you. 

Is this about the “I love you” thing? I really don’t want to talk about this now. 

- Good to hear that - I smiled and run to another topic immediately - so do we have a free evening today or you want to go check in at the club? 

- Remember what Bobby said? - he asked playfully 

- Oh come on, I’m serious now.

- Yeah, me too. How about a movie night? 

- How about a walk? 

Looking at his face I could see my question put him off guard. 

- What? - I laughed at the silence 

- Where do you want to go? - his tone became more firm and calm

- I don’t know, aren’t there any parks here? - I laughed and grabbed his thigh gently - Juice, if you don’t want to we don’t have to do that, I just asked. But I’d still like to know what’s so terrible about walks. 

I tried to stop smiling but the fact that he looked terrified by the idea of taking a walk was pretty hilarious. 

- No, I’m sorry, of course we can go for a walk, it’s just that I prefer spending my free time at home - he smoothed out the pillow not even looking at me

- Are you really afraid something might happen? - I asked moving other pillows out of his reach when he tried to grab another one 

- l just, you know - I don’t, keep talking - well, many people know me here - he finally got the courage to look at me and his sad puppy eyes literally made me want to cry 

- I’m sorry, but what’s wrong with people knowing who you are? - I truly didn’t understand what he meant and asking was the best option since I wasn’t scared of being embarrassed anymore 

- I’m sorry, I just want you to be safe and I know that there are only two places I can be sure about you not getting hurt, here and at the clubhouse. I know it sounds out of line, but some people want to hurt us and they know their best ways to do that. 

-So the best way to hurt you would be hurting me, huh? - I tried to comfort him and did the literal opposite, but still got a little smile from him 

-I know how it sounds, really. Especially when I told you I’m just a member of a club, but- 

-Yeah, I know it’s not just a club, I’m not that stupid - this time comforting him went a little better and he finally took his hand off the perfectly flattened pillow to grab my hand 

-You’re really important to me, and however unrealistic this sounds, I need to protect you at all costs right now. It’s not always going to be like that, but we got ourselves into some trouble lately. 

-Is it about the drugs? The club trying to leave is just not going as Jax planned? 

Maybe I shouldn’t say that, but on the other hand it might help him to open and talk to me. I already knew more than he thought, why wouldn’t he just talk to me about it now? The silence between us was pretty loud and his concerned face made me want to laugh, but I tried to keep a straight face to show him I’m serious. 

-What do you mean „the drugs”? 

-Oh come on, you really want to play that game? - his question annoyed me a little, even tho I did the same thing all the time 

-How do you even know about that? - he wasn’t angry, more stressed and worried, his hands landing on the pillow again 

-Okay, are you going to answer my question or we don’t have anything to talk about? 

-Yes, it’s about drugs. Leaving the business isn’t as easy as we thought, and Clay is not cooperating with Jax. Except this whole shit with drugs we have a lot going on inside our charter. It looks like nothing is going to be  better unless these two work their shit out, and I don’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon - he opened even a little more than I expected, but I was so glad he finally did that - that’s why I’m worried about you and about what might happen.

-Thank you for being honest with me, I really appreciate that - I gently took the pillow from him and replaced it with my hands - I know you can’t talk a lot about the club stuff, but you can still talk about your feelings, that’s not pathetic, I cried in front of you so many times, come on.

I tried to lighten him up and believed it worked, since he gave me a bright smile. 

-Okay, I’ll try, but for now is it enough? - he chuckled 

-Well, I accept that, but I’ll demand more honesty in the future if you want to spend it with me. 

I looked down, his hands, always steady, now shaking a little, not matching his cheerful smile. His eyes dark, I could even say full of joy. Hiding his emotions started getting harder, or maybe I was better at reading it. 

-You have no idea how much I want that - he smiled so adorably I almost fell for it, but another look at his hands worried me again 

Using how close we were to each other I sat on his laps and let him hide his face in my neck. His hands immediately started wandering around my back and when they found the spot he pulled me closer. I tried to sink in the moment, when he suddenly threw me off his knees, my back landing on the soft couch I was trapped by his body. It was so gentle, yet so fast that I froze under him. 

-The fuck was that? - I asked completely confused 

-I just wanted to see your reaction, but that little scream was so cute - wide smile wasn’t leaving his face, he looked amused by my consternation - are you ticklish? 

-Juan, don’t try that, get off me - I said firmly trying not to laugh

-I promise I’ll start talking about my feelings, I just need some time - he said not moving 

-Okay, okay, I trust you but let me go - I was now laughing with him 

He slowly got up letting me do the same thing. I got closer to his face, putting my hands around his neck and just looked him in the eyes. Juice immediately shortened the distance by kissing me, licking my lip I opened my mouth to let him in when the doorbell interrupted us. He slowly pulled back and rested his forehead on mine and I just started laughing. Like a damn movie. 

-Stay here - he got up and dragged his feet towards the door unlocking it slowly 

-Hey Juicy - I heard Chibs so I made my way to the door, not wanting him to take my boyfriend away from me again 

My who? 

-Hi Chibs, perfect timing, what’s up? 

-The vote’s tomorrow at 6 - he smiled softly to greet me 

-And that’s why you came all the way here? - I asked amused by Juice’s reaction 

-Well, maybe if he’d pick up his damn phone I wouldn’t have to do that - he stepped through the door and closed it - that vote might take a little longer, I talked to the guys from north and they are not giving up so easily, just so you know - he gave Juice a serious look - am I interrupting you? 

-No, we were just going to my old place to get some stuff, since you have so much free time you can come with us to help - I smiled at him and then saw Juice’s face - we talked about it yesterday… 

-Oh yeah, we did, I’m sorry - he brightened up immediately 

-Actually I don’t have anything better to do, you want me to call Tig? 

-That would be nice - I said before Juice even opened his mouth - Juice, you have any empty boxes in your garage? 

-Yeah, there are some. 

-So I’ll call Tiggy and you kids go find some boxes so we can go - Chibs smiled at us once again and went through the door 

-Juice - I said with a straight face - did you mute your phone to „use your time well” with me? - I tried not to smile 

-Of course not - he laughed and started walking towards the garage - I must’ve did that by accident.

-You’re a bad liar, really. 

-I think that’s good - he pinned me to the wall and kissed me softly - will we finish that later? 

-Oh god, stop - I laughed and walked under his hand to free myself - let’s get the boxes, how many do you have? 

-And how many do you want? You have much stuff there? - he started going through the empty boxes and throwing the bigger ones in my direction 

-Well, should I get all of it? Will you get me a place when I can store them? - I asked while folding the boxes and putting them aside 

-Can’t you just unpack here? Why would you keep your things in the boxes? 

I kept my eyes on the flatted pile I just made. 

-You want me to stay here for good? I know you for like a month, I can’t just move in. 

-So you’re just living here temporarily, huh? - he also wasn’t looking at me but I saw him smiling 

-Well, if that’s what you mean then I can tell you I was looking for some houses for sale here. 

He threw a last one at me and came closer. 

-I mean that I want you to feel like at home here. You don’t have to move out, I have plenty of free space, there’s even a free bedroom upstairs if you don’t want to share the bed anymore. 

-Don’t you think it’s a little bit early to live together? We’re not even a couple or anything - I tried not to look at him but he made it impossible

-Aren’t we? - he took the boxes I just folded and went outside - I want you to stay here - he yelled while putting them in the trunk 

-Tig will wait at the clubhouse for us, I believe you want to switch the car for a bigger one if we’re taking all of your shit here - Chibs said when I met them at the driveway 

-Yeah, sure - I sat on the passenger sit and waited for Juice to join me 

We drove to Lodi in silence, but I saw him looking at me from time to time, smile not leaving his face. I was really happy about what he said, but didn’t want to show him that i really care about that. Acting casual wasn’t my best skill, but I both didn’t want to scare him or just ruin what we already had, so I chose to ignore my feelings for now. When we pulled up Juice parked the truck right in front of the door and guys left their bikes a little closer to the street. When we entered the building my hands were empty, nobody let me carry anything so I just led them upstairs and unlocked the door. 

-So there’s no elevator here, huh? - Tig asked when i was fighting with my shaky hands to put the key in 

-Yeah, you’ll have to carry all the boxes alone, or you can let me help you - I said opening the door and letting them in 

-You’re not carrying anything, just focus on the packing - Chibs said letting me go in front of him - stop whining Tiggy. 

But I wasn’t listening to him, what I saw made me freeze where I was standing. Should’ve cleaned that up before leaving. Blood drops on the floor, marking the paths where I was walking before I cleaned myself up. Bloody tissues on the table and now also on the floor, bathroom sink still covered in blood, perfectly visible since I left the door open. 

-That’s quite a lot of blood for such a small person - Tig said and put the boxes down - but we’ve seen worse, don’t worry, where should we start? 

We’ve seen worse? That’s it? Wow. 

-You can get all the stuff from here and the kitchen, I’ll go get the bathroom and bedroom - I said and quietly left with a few boxes in my hands 

I never liked packing, but today it was different. I never wanted to see that apartment again, it was so nice and I loved it with all my heart, but now it was hard to feel safe here. Glad that nobody interrupted me I just focused on packing when I heard someone knocking on the door. I went to check what’s going on, but seeing the three of them froze, just staring at the door made me laugh. 

-Are we expecting any guests? - Chibs asked when I entered the room 

-Why don’t you just check who that is? - I said a little bit more annoyed than I meant to

I walked toward the door and saw all of them reaching their belts, pretty sure what they had there. 

-That’s fucking pathetic - I said looking at their reaction and slowly opened the door 

-I thought you’re not going to open, like you’re mad that I just left you, oh wait, you can’t be mad, because you’re the one who left me - Nat laughed and walked pass me not waiting for an invitation to come inside - oh hello gentleman - she put her bag on the table

-Guys, that’s Nat, Nat this is Tig and Chibs, I think you remember Juice - I smiled looking at their reaction 

-Of course I remember, hi everyone - she started going through her bag looking for something 

-Tig, don’t even try - I said when I saw him walking her way - you’re all being rude right now - I laughed when they just kept looking at her not saying anything and got a quiet “hi Nat” from all three as a response 

-But she’s not going to kill us, right? - Chibs joked looking around at the bloody mess - she’s not the one I guess? 

-Sadly I left all my white weapons at home, so you have advantage over me - she moved her head up and looked at his belt - oh I found it, you’re going for a smoke? - she put her lighter in the pocket and looked at me 

-Sure - I responded quickly and followed her to the balcony - how did you even know I’m here? You’re stalking me or what? - I laughed as soon as the door closed behind us 

-I was just walking by and saw two bikes in front of the building, who else could it be? - she sat on the bench and kept looking at me with her weird, cute smile 

-Why are you looking at me like that? - I laughed - it’s been a week, not like I’ve abandoned you or anything 

-Are you okay? I’m sorry, but your explanations over texts weren’t really convincing - she patted the spot besides her 

-I had some mess to clean up lately - I said sitting down 

-Yeah, pretty cute mess - she looked through the window at guys packing my stuff - you live with them? 

-They don’t live together - I laughed loudly at her question - I’m staying at Juice’s for now, I’m not sure what to do next. 

-He rescued you and let you move in after knowing you for a month? What a hero - I knew it was not fully sarcastic, even tho she tried to sound like it - he loves you or what? 

-He actually told me he does - I responded not looking at her 

-Are you shitting me right now? You love him too? Girl what happened to your independent, 'I don’t need any man', lifestyle. I thought you’re just going to fuck him - she shook her head in fake disbelief trying not to laugh 

-I actually don’t know, I didn’t say anything. 

-Okay, you really have to be kidding me - she laughed now 

-Oh shut up, do you want to help me pack since you’re here? 

About an hour later a stack of heavy boxes filled with all my stuff was standing near the door. Tig and Chibs went to the bus to pack the first ones and I sat on the couch to clear things out with Nat. 

-You’re not mad at me, are you? - I asked watching as Juice went to the kitchen and leaned back on the counter 

-Why would I be? - she laughed - because you left me in this shitty town with my shitty job? Come on y/n, I always cheered you up, I’m really glad you got the job you wanted so bad. 

-The job is one thing,  it I still moved away not even telling you straight away, I feel kinda bad about it - and what I said was honest, I knew it was my life and I was the only person who should decide about it, but the demons from my past or whatever we’re still chasing me and I felt like I needed permission for everything 

-Sweetheart - she looked at me with her lovely eyes, and leaned in to make sure I can hear every word she says - are you fucking kidding me? It’s your life and you have to be god damn happy, don’t worry about other people so much, we’ve already been there and I thought you understood it’s a bad idea.

We both laughed and I picked my bag from the floor when the guys came back upstairs. 

-Okay, let’s go - I grabbed a box and headed to the door 

-I don’t think so - Chibs took it from me and placed it back down on the floor - ten minutes and everything should be handled, you should spare your wrists.

Nat joined me and watched all the of them carrying the boxes downstairs.

-What’s your schedule next weekend? - I asked when they disappeared behind the last wall

-Not sure yet, why? Want me to come visit your big town? - she laughed and threw her bag over her shoulder 

-Yeah, you should come by, I’ll probably be alone for a while - she smiled at me and slowly walked through the door

-We’ll keep in touch - she blowed me a kiss - bye, love ya.

-When are you planning to start unpacking? - Juice was leaning on the kitchen counter and looking at the boxes besides the door

I walked up to the fridge and got myself a beer.

-Are they bothering you so much? - I stood next to him looking in the same direction 

-I mean, not really, just wondering - he took a sip from his bottle 

-Oh, you’re such a pedant - I smiled at him - I wanted to at least start today, but I don’t think I have enough energy for that, I’m sorry. This work thing is kind of stressing me out, like it’s my first day ever. I just want it to be over, then I’ll take care of other stuff, is that okay?

-Of course it’s okay - he looked at me as softly as always, I wondered what would I have to do to make him mad - I’ll help you whenever you’re ready.

I didn’t have a chance to answer, because his phone drown my quiet „thanks” out. After his short answers I could immediately recognize it was a call from the club. What else could it be? I was expecting that.

-I need you to come with me - he said firmly while putting his cell back in the pocket 

-I can stay alone Juice, we’ve talked about it. I’ll be fine. 

-No - he looked serious and worried at the same time - They need you at the clubhouse.

I wasn’t expecting that.

-Why? What happened? - I asked when he nervously started looking for the car keys

-Couldn’t tell me on the phone - he answered calmly, still not looking at me - so probably there’s someone to patch up.

-Okay - I said without hesitation and he finally looked at me

-You don’t have to get involved in the club shit, that’s my shit and I can get you out of it if you want. Just this one time if there really isn’t anyone else to help, we’ll figure this out, okay?

-Juice - now I was smiling softly - I’m fine with that, really. Our shit now.

We hurried through the door and it was surprisingly quiet inside, but everyone got up from their seats when we walked through the door. 

-Kozik got hit, Tara’s out of town and we need someone to take care of him. Her bag is already there, just come with me - Jax grabbed my arm and pulled me slightly so | would follow him

I entered the chapel and heard multiple footsteps following me, but I couldn’t focus on that. A blonde man was laying on the massive wooden table. His bare chest was covered in blood, a hole in his upper arm made it pretty clear that he was shot. I froze, not at the fact that a man with probably a bullet in his body was casually laying on the table, a prospect next to him trying to stop the bleeding, but because I was the one to help him. I haven’t done anything like that in some time, had no idea where to start I started panicking quietly. 

-Tell us how to help - Chips nudged me softly but firmly 

-Did it went through? - I asked filled with fake hope 

-Did it what? - the prospect holding a soaked cloth looked at me like I was a ghost 

-How many holes are there? - I smiled sarcastically - Is the bullet still inside or did it went through? Let me see. 

Chibs helped raising Kozik’s arm up and of course the bullet was still inside 

-I’m not a damn neuro or ortho to deal with such stuff smoothly - I said looking through Tara’s bag and trying to focus.

-You don’t have to get him perfectly fine, we can cut that arm off if you’ll say that’s the best option.

-Shut up Tig, that’s not funny anymore - said Jax

I looked up and saw him sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, sipping on his beer like nothing was happening.

I came back to the table and took a closer look at the wound. 

-It’s not deep, you have to hold him still and I’ll take the bullet out - I wasn’t sure how to do that, I had to deal with worse things in the past, but every memory of it just vanished at instant - I’ll count to three.

The faster the better. I saw a bloody mess before digging my fingers into the hole. It was gross even through the gloves, I thought I can feel my legs shaking. Trying not to make more damage I wanted to focus but the screams made it impossible and I couldn’t find the right angle to take a grip on the bullet. 

-Shut him the fuck up - I said calmly concentrating on where my fingers were going and suddenly I looked at my hand, hovered in blood, holding a shiny piece of metal

Glad that the worst part was already over I started to put stitches on, kinda surprised the bleeding almost stopped. 

-I don’t think any arteries were damaged, he should be fine soon - I said to Jax who was sitting on a stool next to mine 

-I really appreciate you came to help us, thank you - he said sadly, eyes locked on the countertop in front of him

-You’ve helped me enough, that’s the least I can do. If you ever need me again, don’t hesitate, I’ll gladly do it again - I said knowing it was bullshit, but he smiled slightly - I really have to go now, but I can check in tomorrow after work if you want me to. 

-That would be great, thank you - he said and I left to find Juice - Are you coming with me? - I said when our eyes met 

-Of course, let’s go -  his eyes not as bright as always, smile almost fully fainted and I instantly knew he was just disappointed with me

Tara would’ve done it better, of course, but she’s not here. I’m not even a doctor, and he’s alive so overall I didn’t do such a bad job. I rested my head on the cold window as I sat down in the passengers seat. The sky was beautifully clear, you could count all the stars, a perfect night for a walk, but surely I should forget about that. I closed my eyes and waited for the car to stop so I could just go to bed and burry myself under the covers. When we pulled up I took my purse from the back seat and grabbed the door handle, but Juice was faster as always. He opened the door for me and gave me his gentle hand along with a polite smile. I rushed ahead of him and quickly changed into my pajamas before crawling into bed, but it wasn’t long before he joined me, putting his hand on m hip and kissing my shoulder. We laid in silence for what felt like hours and I couldnt get myself to sleep, move or even talk. I was completely frozen wandering what he was thinking about.

-I’m sorry - was all I mumbled after getting enough courage to open my mouth

-You’re not asleep? - he stopped rubbing my arm and sounded pretty shocked 

-I really am, I know I should’ve done better, but I was just scared. I don’t know why, it’s not the circumstances, I just felt like I never did that before and it is fucking scary looking at the fact that im supposed to do such stuff everyday starting tomorrow. I think I’ve lost my damn spark, or whatever it was, I should just stayed behind the bar and do what I was good at. I don’t want that job anymore, I don’t want to do that and I’m scarred I’ll fuck someone's life soon, that’s clearly not for me. 

He didn’t interrupt my monologue, just grabbed my shoulder and rolled me over so that I was facing him. Is he really fucking smiling right now?

-I know it sounds pathetic and I don’t just feel sorry for myself, I think I-

He interrupted me this time with a soft chuckle followed by a clearly sad face.

-I should apologize to you, I promised to keep my life away from you, but I didn’t really have a choice there. But you did great y/n, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

-My hands were shaking - I said seriously 

-Have you ever taken a bullet out of a stranger’s arm? In a motorcycle clubhouse? Surrounded by a dozen of other bikers? - he smiled, but I knew it wasn’t honest

-No, but that’s not the point Juice - I heard my voice trembling, not aware of being at the edge of crying

-Oh don’t do that to me, I hate when you cry, especially when it's because of me, I promised not to do that anymore, remember? - his smile seemed more confident now and I almost fell for it 

-It’s not because of you, I don’t want to do that anymore.

-Then don’t - he said calmly looking me in the eyes

-What do you mean, „don’t”?

-Well, just don’t work, be a house wife and let me support you - he got a quiet laugh from me

-I’m sorry I’m such a whiner sometimes.

-I’m sorry I got you into that - he looked at the clock - you should go to sleep now, it’s late.

I didn’t want to know what time it is and I was glad he stayed quiet, knowing how little sleep I’ll get before my first day wasn’t a good idea. I snuggled into his chest feeling relaxed and safe, as I should’ve from the beginning. Next time just talk to him, burying your emotions won’t help.

-Thank you, goodnight.

-Goodnight, I love you. 

[mocha000]

SO SWEET! THANK YOU!

This really feels like an ending ch with so much happiness and peace. I felt so at peace wow. Can't wait to see more of the pack being silly, sweet, and more.

"Lines scrawled out because Tae’s post-knot clarity always gives her a few good poems, a few good lines." Ooh. "Trying not to be a distraction but wanting to be a distraction worthy of Tae’s attention." Aww. POEM!

"Would my love stain the edge of your smile? Like strawberries? Blueberries? Black?" Omg cute! "If you would eat the love I have for you, Would you still want to be so skinny? Love is warm bellies and not hollow throats. Love cares not for second portions, Only 8 courses Love is a bowl of soup It warms from the inside out. I know I overfeed the cat." Wow, so sweet TT these poems are always so good!

"Heaped between a pillow and a rolled-up blanket looking overstuffed- like one of your stuffed animals that litter the nest up here and the one downstairs." I laughed out loud omg. Is Noodle overweight though?? "Yoongi knows that your comment had stayed on Tae's mind just like he knows that it's not just Noodle you were talking about. How many times has he seen you pull down the edge of your shirt over the past few weeks?" Oh... :(

"(He is, he's just not sure you even want him downstairs- which is another thing entirely. Would his presence make you more nervous? More likely to go into appeasement mode because you think that's what he wants?)" Noo :( "What you might take if he gives you another chance. He's scared that you'll go and take all of him with you. He's scared- sure, but he's not really angry anymore." Damn. It feels kinda unfair though. I doubt that she would try to leave them again idk.

"If you worry you suffer twice. Her leaving and you not forgiving her- isn't the result the same?" Poetic. "He heard you crying earlier. Coupled with Hobi’s yelps and Namjoon’s low croon. It was hard- harder than Yoongi expected, to resist the urge to go down to you." I'm tearing up TT He's so loving. "isn't it? You're both just doing what you think will give you the least amount of pain- instead of actually confronting each other about this." Ohh true. "Tae hasn’t gone up a cup size in a few months, she’s a B at best- but the pack still praises her for it." I'm swooning at the thought omg. "Because they don’t fit- might not ever fit." :/

“I think punishing yourself isn’t a way to rewrite history. Punishing yourself isn’t going to make what happened go away. At this point- I think you’re keeping yourself away from her to prove a point- but the points already been proven.” I like these explanations. We haven't seen much of Yoongi's thoughts about the incident before this. “You remind me of myself before I came out. Denying yourself love just because you want to be right- doesn’t make you right, it just makes you less loved.” Ooh that's good. "Yoongi is not human without your love." OMG TT

"Tae hasn’t yet conditioned herself out of using that phrase, hyung. And Yoongi might remind her if it didn’t sound so sweet coming from her mouth. More of a pet name than anything else. Yoongi doesn’t mind. She can still call him hyung if she wants. They’ve had conversations about it before." Oh I was wondering about this at the first "hyung" in this ch.

"“I know, I don’t know why I don’t like it as much, hyung makes me feel like you’ll always look after me.”" Aww. "It hurts a little bit more than it should that Namjoon freezes when he sees Yoongi standing on the steps." :( I can't take this anymore TT my poor Yoongi. "jimin says, coming over to stand above the four of you and watch as tae guides yoongi's hand out, to touch your back, to pet up and down gently." Cute but it feels a little sad that Yoongi is scared to do it himself.

"But it feels so good to have you hear, settled over his lap. So good his breath hitches." "he hesitates for a second, and then pulls you flush against him, hard." Yay!! "One cuddle can't hurt. He can go back to being angry with you in the morning." NO I SWEAR TO GOD! STOP BEING SILLY!! "The next thing Yoongi knows is that you’re very very still. You’re not moving at all. Not even a little bit- those pupish twitches of your fingers or the wiggle of your nose when you scent his displeasure. Nothing. None of it." Damn TT His nightmare is so vivid and sad omg.

"(that's not entirely true, Noodle is perched on a nearby pillow purring loudly. That's as much comfort as he can possibly offer as he's sworn to hate his arch-nemesis for eternity. Even though Yoongi sort of gives the best chin rubs- although Noodle would never confess it and will take the secret to his grave)." And then a funny moment lol.

"Yoongi pulls himself up and heaves out a shaky breath. Chest tight. You- he needs to find you. Find you and make sure- make sure you're not- Yoongi lets out a shaky breath." :( "He’d even let you hold his hand while they took your blood. He’s never had the heart to leave you scared. Never. Not even when he's angry at you." Aww. Save my heart Li TT

"Yoongi knows peace now but still doesn't trust it. Wouldn't trust it especially if it was just him and you and a little life- so unprotected and vulnerable. Yoongi doesn’t like feeling this way; vulnerable." He's in so much pain :( I thought that he was mostly strong and content. "Hiding his face in your spine, your hip when you turn, back hugging you because even on a ladder he is still mostly taller than you. Shaking faintly, still shaking off the fucking dream. His voice is croaky, not all there when his voice box finally cooperates. “Can you get off?""

"Noodle meows dolefully from the stairs, coming to see why Yoongi had abandoned him so abruptly (the nerve of him.)" Oh Noodle lol "There is rain outside, pattering against the window. It’s been raining a lot over the last few days. Soaking the soil in the pre-spring cold. It won't be long now and everything will be green again." I love this setting omg. "Yoongi holds onto the hem of your sweater, rubbing a fist against his eye. Like a clingy child." He's so cute wahh.

"Your heartbeat thuds quick against his fingertips. Yoongi wants to tell you that you don’t need to be scared, you don’t need to be afraid of overstepping." :( "Yoongi wakes up because a tomato has just fallen on his face." Loll "The way your hand goes from holding Yoongi's to touching Hobi's palm, then back to his like a bumblebee darting between flowers. A small smile works its way onto Yoongi's face. Even more when you pinch Hobi's ass and Hobi acts appropriately scandalized. Only you could get in on his and Jungkook's near-perpetual ass-touching competition." MY BOY DESERVES TO BE HAPPY TT

Ahh I love the pacing of Yoongi and mc making up even if the pain hurts my heart so much. "There is a spread on the dining room, three heavy brown paper bags not just of breakfast sandwiches wrapped in checkered paper but biscuits in syrupy gravy, french toast sticks with honey yellow syrup, and a whole tray of tater tots that Jin pops into his mouth with a satisfying crunch. Half of the pack is still in their pajamas; it can't be later than 11." I can kinda imagine this part, just a serene day for the pack.

"Yoongi blinks down at his plate, and he’s got a quarter of everyone’s sandwich on his, easily more than he can eat but still- You trade, cutting thirds and halves to try them all." The love omg! "How lucky he is to have people that get him two sandwiches instead of one, how lucky he is to have a house full of laughter and warm bellies and-" Yeah.

""I love you guys" Yoongi whines. looking at Jin because he can't look at you. Telling everyone- because he can't tell just you. And really it's the truth." AWW! "Yoongi should start working out with Jungkook- so that he’s as strong as you need him to be." He's too cute. "We can do it tomorrow if you want." Whatever you want." The conclusion of their fight is oh so sweet ahh.

"(In the end, forgiveness is not something that is inevitable. Forgiveness is something that you want to give, you have to want it with that person and they have to want it too. You have to give. Yoongi will give and give and give.)" AWWW! "You’ve been doing that a lot more frequently over the last few days, taking little moments with Yoongi; spending breakfast in bed, cooking together most nights, sitting next to him always. Even small dates. Not even fancy ones but silly little outings that make you feel younger than you are." HELL YEAH!!

"You’d gotten handsy in the backseat and filled the car with the scent of arousal strong enough that Namjoon’s knuckles had gone white on the steering wheel. Barely a brain cell to scrape together to concentrate on driving." Poor Joon loll. "You haven’t felt this calm in years. It doesn't make you choke up because you've felt this way before and you're getting used to it. The springtime air smells like rain, like the ocean already although you know it sits miles and miles away." I'm so happy for her omg.

"Hoseok's love is a little softer, like a sunrise instead of a sunset. With no bursts of color just dark blue one minute and light blue the next, baby blue to blush tones to that weird yellow green of the sunlight." Wow. "Namjoon shimmies to the end of the nest apparently coming too- only to knock into Seokjin because Namjoon is always sort of clumsy in the mornings and he always gets a bit tangled in the blankets you roll up to construct the edge of the nest." LOL! Stealth mission failed. "Then Jin trips over Jimin's legs and the alpha shoots up straight, jostling both Tae and Jungkook (folded under either arm) and everyone is awake and sharing plans." So cute though.

"You sit on each other's laps, ducking your head whenever you see oncoming cars in case they might be cops. (You haven't learned your lesson quite yet, but there is time- you don't have to grow up quite yet)." Silly lol "Don't take this the wrong way but your ass is so boney, my leg is going numb." Lol "A string of fate organized and neat."

"Yoongi loses one of his slides on the way out and Jungkook steals it from the pavement. Running off with it and leaving him to hobble on one foot, only to bring it back after a second. And you let Yoongi place his hand on your shoulder for balance while he slides his sock back into it. Worried about getting his socks wet. His hair ruffled and eyes crusty but the sun-" Oh Jk. Brat lol

"It’s warm- the wind coming off the sea is warm and damp and lovely. Spring is here, happiness is here- and it might never be going away again. Not if you can help it and not if you hold onto it. You have seven other people to help you hold on tight and never let go." This setting is so warm and perfect since it's been a place for dates and big moments. So peaceful.

"Your sweatshirt is one of Yoongi's, the same color. Tae’s nails are that purple-blue too as she holds Jimin’s hand in the sand. The same color as the tiny piece of sea glass that Hobi pulls from between his legs because he somehow always finds sea glass. The best at finding lost things." Omg what a good connection with the previous para. "All of you are still sleepy and pupish and young in a way that you haven't been, haven't felt in such a long time."

"Growing up can wait for a day more, growing up can always always wait." I NEEDED THIS LINE OMG. "(You haven't thought about it at all today- what Geumjae did to you. You haven’t thought about the hurts in your past at all today and you won’t, the day will pass and it won’t weigh on you, you won’t even notice. That’s the way healing goes- you hardly notice). (Later there will be food and you won’t think about eating it at all. Hoseok will make your sandwich up just the way you like it and you won't even have to ask for it. You'll eat the same way you love, messy like children but with so much hope in it.)" Yay!!

“With the sunrise and the sunlight all around us, It kinda felt like the world was giving me a really big hug, do you think that’s stupid?” Oh I'm soft.

"i think that this chapter is the real like- spot between the chapter chapters of bily and the epilogue! i think you can kind of feel it in the way that the chapter ends." oh ok! "it's so like me to accidentally talk about tae's boobs for a few paragraphs i can't help it her tiddies are just so special to me." lol mood "like 10/10, i saw a picture of dita von tess and just so you know…in my mind after tae gets a boob job- which she will- this is just me forshadowing it- thats the kinda tiddies she gets <3 cute lemon shaped ones!" Ooh!

"the line about tae liking hyung more than oppa to use for the other members of the pack- is just kinda edgeing on an idea i've had for a while about my own gender thoughts- and thats that you can take what you like and what you don't like from each gender and make it what you want regardless of how you identify." Ohh.

"it's easy to forget that yoongi is also traumatized too you know? he needs so much hugs in this," Yeah TT "In many ways this chapter feels so like- stylistically light- like i think this entire series i've been trying to capture the feelings of found family- and you know-= this one gets alot of it right." omg yes!!

Before I Leave You (Pt.73)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: You are everything to Yoongi, the yoke in his egg, the daffodils on the sidewalk, the sunshine in the morning. Everything. He just had to remember it. 

Tags: Nightmares, angst, hurt/comfort, mention of food issues but they're only talked about in terms of the m/c getting better.

W/c: 10.0k

A/n: the irony of this chapter is that it's going to come out during the wedding of the two people who live in the house that inspired bily, the last time i was there there where sprouts growing in every windowsill and a fluffy throw on every couch so <3 everything will be alright wont it? the house is filled with love in this universe as well as the bily one <3

Previous part- Masterlist - First part

Downstairs, you and Hobi are shrouded in a particular kind of fuzzy warmth. The kind that only comes from knowing you do not have to be in control anymore. That there is no hidden consequence waiting for you. no shoe to drop. no monster under your bed.

The downstairs is shrouded in that kind of quiet and comfort that comes with warm evenings and supple hands that have nothing to do but loving and set about diligently at that task. Like cold breezes in summer, icing and chocolate, and sunshine on raspberries warming their sugar.

But the upstairs nest room is not so peaceful.

Tae’s post-coitus talks are legendary at this point, as Yoongi sits on the edge of the nest, not looking at her because to look at Tae is to encourage more truth to fall from her lips. He busies himself with tucking jungkook in. Sprawled asleep. And tries not to listen to the truth that Yoongi neither wants nor believes he needs.

Right now his brain is fuzzy and prone to believing her.

There are small things all around the nest, pieces of the pack and remnants and evidence of the time the three of them spent here hours ago taking Jungkook apart and putting him back together again. Fucking then sleeping then waking up to fuck again. The arousal burns low at present, sated for now.

A discarded shirt of Jungkook’s sits tangled in a pair of handcuffs because he’d gotten too squirmy for Tae's liking, a silk scarf of Tae’s because he’d gotten mouthy too. A notepad and a bit of paper. Lines scrawled out because Tae’s post-knot clarity always gives her a few good poems, a few good lines.

Yoongi doesn't have to read them to know they're about you. Almost everything Tae writes has You and Jimin in it. The others are there too every now and then- but if Tae had to say it Yoongi knows you and Jimin are her muses.

It takes Tae a few months to digest her feelings into something palatable. Yoongi didn’t need to ask what time period it was written about as he read over her shoulder, pressing kisses to her lips between the lines. Trying not to be a distraction but wanting to be a distraction worthy of Tae’s attention.

This poem that he'd watched her scrawl out, pen to her lips between stanzas. It has the first few months of your relationship all over it.

I know I over-feed the cat, but I can’t help it. If you could eat the love I have for you what would it taste like? Would it be mangoes- Sticky, yellow, sweet. Eat Till the threads of it get stuck Between your teeth. Would it leave you full and sleepy- like bread and pasta? Rigatoni, Penne, pastina stars The candy toothache of my heart Swells thick and gummy. Eat up. I must admit I grow addicted to the brown sugar of your being. Would my love stain the edge of your smile? Like strawberries? Blueberries? Black? I must admit I am afraid of food metaphors When it comes to you. Because just like with food, I fear if I don’t give you enough You’ll go starving, Out of some sense Of beauty and responsibility. Could you love me enough, Would you love me enough if I’m good? Salt, fat, acid, heat. What is owed at our table- A full meal or half? Desert or just a snack? Just tea please, I’m not hungry. I already ate. I know I overfeed the cat, but I can’t help it- I can’t help it at all. If you would eat the love I have for you, Would you still want to be so skinny? Love is warm bellies and not hollow throats. Love cares not for second portions, Only 8 courses Love is a bowl of soup It warms from the inside out. I know I overfeed the cat.

Noodle purrs nearby, the subject of the conversation earlier today that no doubt inspired Tae. Heaped between a pillow and a rolled-up blanket looking overstuffed- like one of your stuffed animals that litter the nest up here and the one downstairs. Jin had gotten a little overzealous on the jellycat website during christmas time.

He's gotten rather chubby, his middle more round than just fluffy. His pudgy tomcat face is charming, eyes blinking slowly as he watches Yoongi toil with his emotions.

"We should put him on a diet" You'd lamented, still feeding him treats, in the kitchen this afternoon. Yellow light slipped through the windows and lunch plates piled high in the sink. A carton of coffee-caramel ice cream and mango sorbet gathering condensation nearby. On your knees before his bowl. Because if you all got after-lunch ice cream treats then he should get some too.

"Don't you dare, he's perfect this way." Tae had replied, scandalized, and made the point of giving Noodle an extra scoop of food and you an extra spoonful of sweet frozen milk.

Yoongi knows that your comment had stayed on Tae's mind just like he knows that it's not just Noodle you were talking about. How many times has he seen you pull down the edge of your shirt over the past few weeks? Or reach for Hobi's baggier sweatshirts? Or sho them all out the door when you shower intent on doing it alone.

The pack loves group showers, there will probably be one on the way tonight from the sound of it. Yoongi doesn't doubt that the pack will leave you messy and sated. A little too sleepy too. Someone will have to help.

His fingers drum quietly on the bed. Nervous. Waiting. A little annoyed- but Yoongi's not sure where it comes from.

A loud slap from downstairs punctuates the quiet. Yoongi just barely flinches. And Yoongi wonders if you'd let them see you naked tonight or if you'd been too nervous for it. Or if Seokjin and Namjoon will make everything, your anxieties and your fears and your feelings of inadequacy, feel small.

They'll make you feel small too. Omegaspace is all but a guarantee tonight.

But he's not allowed downstairs to double-check that you're alright. (He is, he's just not sure you even want him downstairs- which is another thing entirely. Would his presence make you more nervous? More likely to go into appeasement mode because you think that's what he wants?)

Tae has a habit of reminding him when he's being a shithead.

Now Yoongi wishes for Tae’s attention to be elsewhere. On a poem. On Jungkook. On anything. Yoongi has gotten very good at lying to himself over the past few weeks. But somewhere across the lines I’m still angry at her, turned into I should still be angry. He’s not quite sure when that changed. But he knows he's holding onto his anger, that it's growing slippery, but that he's not ready for it to go away.

Yoongi will do anything to keep you, to make you stay. And that’s part of the problem. He's scared of his own capacity for forgiveness. What you might take if he gives you another chance. He's scared that you'll go and take all of him with you.

He's scared- sure, but he's not really angry anymore.

He's just tired- tired of feeling so much, tired of feeling things so intensely. Tired of worrying, of keeping you at arm’s length and wondering if I let you back in now have you learned not to do this again? Or will you just say you’ll change?

Yoongi will always love you- will always be your mate. But he doesn’t want to be sitting and waiting all the time wondering if you’re thinking about leaving again.

You’ve already tried to do that twice; the third time would be the charm.

Jungkook slumbers belly down in the nest, his soft huffs of breath coming frequently and at a steady pace. He’s quite a vision with his rippling back muscles and splayed thighs. With Hickeys on his skin from Yoongi's own mouth where the skin goes soft and dark. Knees apart to limit the soreness he must be feeling from the knot. Covered at the waist but only just so with a thin sheet. The tops of his thighs shiny with cooling slick. Yoongi’s eyes hover on Jungkook as he looks back.

Tae's voice keeps it hush, mindful of Jungkook's sleep schedule but not of the fragileness of Yoongi's heart.

"If you worry you suffer twice. Her leaving and you not forgiving her- isn't the result the same?"

Jungkook's sleeping form will offer him no savior from Tae’s words, he’d say the same thing- they all would. "Do you really want the distance she's been trying to give you Yoongi? Because I really don't think you do"

You've been fucking miserable these last few weeks. Is what she doesn't say but wants too. Yoongi knows it. Can taste the unfinished business on the air in the form of Tae's wilting rose and cinnamon scent. The heady horny edge to it wareing away.

It’s quiet downstairs but it hadn’t always been; between your pleas and Hobi’s growls and then your cries that had made Yoongi gnash his teeth. Sobbing echos that made Yoongi flinch. Distant cries of “m’ sorry m-" and Jin’s joining croon of “good pup, come to daddy, I’ve got you my sweet little thing, I’ve got you.”

But it’s quieting down now. Yoongi can only just hear a little bit of the hushed voices when he strains his ears. He can’t hear you at all when Tae’s talking.

Jungkook stays asleep, completely lost to the world, He needed two cocks to settle, Jungkook always sleeps for a long time after scenes, even simple cute ones like this. You’re the same. Yoongi knows you’re the same. That you usually doze after cumming, so sleepy- like your body gives up under the force of too much pleasure. And that even awake you’re pliant and drowsy. (He loves it when you get that way).

You’ll never have to worry about insomnia the way that Tae and Yoongi do. If it ever gets too bad, the pack will only ever fuck you to bed.

Which is why Yoongi’s restless, why he can’t sleep. Because you’re downstairs and not upstairs with him. He can pretend that's not why he's awake, but the truth remains. Eviscerated by Tae's pouting lips.

He heard you crying earlier. Coupled with Hobi’s yelps and Namjoon’s low croon. It was hard- harder than Yoongi expected, to resist the urge to go down to you. Grating, the mental equivalent of nails on a chalkboard to tune out the sounds of his mate in distress.

It's not distress, he knows that- logically Yoongi knows that the pack would never do anything you didn't consent to.

And still…

"That's not it Tae, that's not it at all." Yoongi denies, but the lie is blatant even to his own lips.

Yoongi is harder to settle than Jungkook. Tae knows this. Folded against the nest, her silky lavender dress pulled back on after fucking Jungkook, small breasts pillowing, hickeys dotting the top of them both faded and not. Some of them are from Jungkook- fresh and pink- but a few might be from you a few days prior.

She snorts, "isn't it? You're both just doing what you think will give you the least amount of pain- instead of actually confronting each other about this. Do you know what I think hyung?”

Just about every packmate has a newfound obsession with Tae’s chest. The tender swelling sensitivity just there. Tae hasn’t gone up a cup size in a few months, she’s a B at best- but the pack still praises her for it. Still takes every opportunity to make her blush and show her their appreciation.

But still- sometimes Yoongi catches her in the mornings, putting on her lingerie that she wears under her clothes almost every days-tugging at the gaping in the front. She bought stuff a cup size up at the beginning- so did Namjoon and Jin and Jimin, endless pretty sets from for love and lemons and Victoria’s Secret that sit unworn.

Because they don’t fit- might not ever fit. Unless Tae does something drastic like surgery. Yoongi's surprised she hasn't asked for it yet.

Yoongi sighs, frustrated, “What Tae, what do you want to say?”

Tae flips over on her tummy, hair a little messy, grinning looking a bit like Noodle as she strokes gently down Yoongi’s jaw. He’s not wearing a shirt he just tugged on pajama pants so the scratch of her long nails down his skin makes goosebumps erupt all over his bare arms.

“I think punishing yourself isn’t a way to rewrite history. Punishing yourself isn’t going to make what happened go away. At this point- I think you’re keeping yourself away from her to prove a point- but the points already been proven.”

“That’s not it,” Yoongi says again. Like repeating it will make it true. Tae raises an eyebrow at him, swishing her legs, her white painted toenails flashing in the half-darkness.

“Don’t you want to make her see that it was a bad decision, isn’t that what you’re doing? Punishing her for going and punishing yourself for not being there when she made the choice to go?”

As if on cue Yoongi can hear it from the ground floor, the sound of your babbling giggles- you in omegaspace surely, a softly crooned “Good puppy, give him another treat, he’s earned it.” From Jin. Yoongi knows you’re cute and sweet and sensitive in your headspace downstairs, the idea of seeing you- touching you- without the burden of all this- is so tempting Yoongi’s hands hurt.

Yoongi’s hands tighten around Jungkook's elbow, his anchor, preventing him from going downstairs. When Yoongi turns back to look at Tae, her eyebrows are pulled together and she’s looking down at Jungkookie. He has a single hand tangled in the hem of her nightdress, fist closed, chubby and cute.

“What are you thinking?” Yoongi is always in the habit of asking that. It’s worth asking- so that you don’t have to wonder.

“You remind me of myself before I came out. Denying yourself love just because you want to be right- doesn’t make you right, it just makes you less loved.” Her eyes flick from Jungkook up to Yoongi.

Yoongi's hands are cold, the goosebumps on his arms are still there.

Yoongi is not human without your love. How many afternoons has Tae seen him staring off into space? How many more meals will Yoongi push around the food on his plate? How many mornings will his hair go unbrushed because Yoongi simply doesn't have the energy to brush it? Tae and the others make up for it a good deal, but at the end of the day, none of them are the person who Yoongi bonded his soul too.

Tae knows what sadness looks like, what depression looks like and she's learned a lot from you. She won't let this be more than a little blip in Yoongi's year.

Your love is one of the things that makes Yoongi feel human. Without you to love, and feeling like he shouldn't, Yoongi's a little unmoored, a little without purpose.

Tae detangles Jungkook’s fist from her dress gently, replacing his grip with a nearby item- another one of her dresses that the omega had so diligently woven into the outer rim of the nest. He curls around it protectively, purring gently. She covers him with a different thicker blanket to simulate her warmth. Then she sits up on her knees and starts to shuffle to the edge of the nest.

“Come on,”

“But Jungkook-”

“He’ll be fine for a second hyung.”

Tae hasn’t yet conditioned herself out of using that phrase, hyung. And Yoongi might remind her if it didn’t sound so sweet coming from her mouth. More of a pet name than anything else. Yoongi doesn’t mind. She can still call him hyung if she wants. They’ve had conversations about it before.

Tae stops, and turns back. The language thing- is one of her current fixations at the moment. “It’s not- just because that slips out doesn’t mean I’m not still a girl."

“I know baby. I’d never think that unless you told me- not that you’ve got to- not that-“

“No, I know. Thank you hyung.” Tae's teeth worry away at her lower lip.

“You can use Oppa too you know. If that feels nicer, or you can go back and forth and use both.”

“I know, I don’t know why I don’t like it as much, hyung makes me feel like you’ll always look after me.” Yoongi grabs Tae’s hands, tangled in the sheets, silken, pink.

“You know I always will.”

Tae uses that hand to her advantage. Pulling him up and out of the nest. Tae leads him down the dark stairs, her quiet giggles softening Yoongi’s anxiety, but when he gets down there, you're there.

You're small in Namjoon's lap, resting your cheek against the hollow of his throat. The pack alpha's shirt is completely unbuttoned now and you’ve hidden your face in his honey skin, rubbing your face all in it, cheeks pink and slowly purring. Guarding your eyes from the big light in the kitchen- where Jimin is getting Hobi a glass of water. Pants pulled on just barely, still hanging low. The scar on his shoulder pink and catching the light- just barely healing. Big on the back side and small on the front.

Yoongi just barely hears namjoons low and sweet growls, his sweet nothings. The way he cradles you gently but so fiercely to his chest Yoongi knows it's all instinct.

"I'm never gonna let anything happen to you- never again- I've got you pup, I've got you. "

The shirt you wear is big and dark, he knows already that it's his- probably pilfered from downstairs to comfort you. Yoongi's not really sure why that makes his throat close up. Even around all of them, even after all of that. It's still his scent you ask for. The one that cloaks you and covers you in the wake of this.

It hurts a little bit more than it should that Namjoon freezes when he sees Yoongi standing on the steps. Freezes, arms tightening just a little around you as you continue to nuzzle into the pack alpha's throat, Dozing and lost in the haze of aftercare.

His arms relax when Namjoon sees it's just the two of them, and tae floats over, dress swishing. "Oh alpha- did you make her all small and soft for me?"

Namjoons teeth look extra sharp as he beholds tae, as she strokes down his throat. To have another alpha touch him there should feel threatening, but Namjoon just feels satisfied. "Of course I did babygirl."

Hobi is more awake than you but so much further down in puppy space than Yoongi expected. The collar jingles faintly against his throat where he rolls his tongue lolling out. Belly up on the carpet and clearly enjoying Jin’s nails scrapping and petting and scratching over his tummy. Never too tired for more belly rubs, especially with a full stomach full of good pup treats (they're just dog bone-shaped chocolate chip cookies, a special all-organic kind that Jin buys from Etsy explicitly for this).

He’s shy- Hobi hasn’t had the time to indulge in puppy space in months, but now he tucks his face under Jin’s shirt and squirms. Happy to be on the receiving end of the pack Omega’s undivided attention. “Good puppy- what a good boy-“ Jin croons, eyes glassy and dark, biting his lip as he watches Hobi squirm and his tongue lol. Panting animatedly.

He’s needed this too- the sound of his praises fall so easy and natural from his pouted lips. And Hobi stills, ears pink when he looks to Yoongi and Tae in the doorway. Lucid for a breath. Tae’s arms are looped around Yoongi’s hips. Keeping him from slinking off, keeping him from feeling like he’s not wanted.

The pack alpha pears at them over the back of the couch. His arms slowly relax around you, nostrils flaring at the scents coming from both of them but mostly Yoongi. Namjoon looks, and glares, but he can smell it. How upset he really is, the undercurrent to his scent. Yoongi smells like chocolate and worry.

He tips his chin down, a clear command to come here.

“Yoongi wanted to make sure she was alright.” Tae supplies, Yoongi tries to deny it but Namjoon already knows. Namjoon’s grumble growl is warm and inviting as Tae guides Yoongi to sit. Your arms are loose around Namjoon’s neck. He’s quiet, but his eyes are shiny with alpha space, measuring every one of their movements like the pack alpha might measure threats. Guarding the pup in his arms very diligently.

“She’s tired, fell right off.” jimin says, coming over to stand above the four of you and watch as tae guides yoongi's hand out, to touch your back, to pet up and down gently. Jimin runs his hand over your wet cheek, picking a hair out from between your lips.

“Poor little pup” and Yoongi feels breathless but Namjoon and Tae make room for him to sit close. yoongi doesn't need to be guided to sit close to you, almost sideways in something like a hug. You sag just a little more into him, like you’re relaxed by Yoongi’s presence alone. Letting out soft huffs of breath against Namjoon's chest, tiny purrs start up anew, louder, deeper. Your spine curls at an uncomfortable angle like you can decide between Namjoon's chest and Yoongi's hands.

And then Tae takes both of your wrists, detangling them from Namjoon’s neck, the same moment that Namjoon starts to lift your hips.

Yoongi can’t even say anything, can’t even protest as they put you in his lap. You suction to his front like a starfish sinking deeper into dreamland and going more boneless by the breath. Yoongi starts to say something- nothing more than hollow protests.

But it feels so good to have you hear, settled over his lap. So good his breath hitches.

Your hands tangle in the front of his shirt, holding on tight- like you think he might go even in your sleep. Yoongi knows you feel that he’s here- although you might not remember it tomorrow. Maybe that's for the better.

he hesitates for a second, and then pulls you flush against him, hard.

Tae settles behind him and namjoon behind you. His big hands forcing the collar of his shirt to the side so the pack alpha can lean around you and nuzzle into the hollow of his throat. He barely has enough energy in him to open his mouth.

How lucky you and him are to have 6 people to watch over you like this. To make sure that you wake up safe, that you get everything you need before you drift off. Yoongi doesn’t have to do it on his own anymore. He hasn’t had to in months but that still doesn’t lose its novelty. Yoongi wonders if he’ll ever take it for granted.

Yoongi breathes deep and even.

“Thanks, Tae.”

“Of course, honey. Remember for next time- alpha knows best.” Yoongi’s cheek rests against the top of your head, and your breath tickles his neck.

“I know we’ve got to go upstairs, but can we stay like this for a second?”   “Of course, honey.” Her fingers stroke through his hair, and Yoongi closes his eyes and tucks his face into the top of your head. One cuddle can't hurt. He can go back to being angry with you in the morning.

“You’ll stay like that until Alpha says you can get up.”

Tae’s giggle is sweet, Yoongi’s eyes are already closed, “Joonie-“

He can hear Namjoon's bashfulness in his voice, the kind of shyness that warms yoongi up from the inside out and reminds him that they're all still learning. “Sorry, I’m still- it’s still-”

“I know alpha.”

I know I know I know.

~-~

(Yoongi, a few days later)

(In the end, forgiveness is not something that is inevitable)

Yoongi doesn’t know that it’s a dream while it’s happening.

One moment he is entirely unaware, resting, asleep, at peace. And the next the nightmare climbs up the edge of his vision. Clinging to the darkness- dissolving like mist only in reverse. Like smoke sucked through a straw. Like burning- carving from the outside in, hungry and without purpose. Burning burning burning.

One moment nothing and the next there is so much red.

The first thing Yoongi knows is that he can smell something burning, he looks up and he’s in the living room of your house, no furniture yet. The inside is so white but not perfect- he can vaguely place the memory.

This is the way the house looked just after they finished re-plastering; Yoongi files the memory and finds its from months and months ago- during another spring. The floors are all fucked from the mess that the plasterers had left. White splotches here and there. Everything covered in ghostly white sheets, a drop cloth under Yoongi's knees that slowly bleeds red.

It's about a month before the pack came home maybe. The last month it was ever you and Yoongi and not You and Yoongi and everyone else.

Yoongi watches as the Flames lick at the white walls. There is something in his hands but he can't look down yet. Something- his brain doesn't want to look at it- it's easier to look at the flames. The fire is yellow and slow to hunger. Creeping almost lazily, like it has nothing but time to burn. He can do little more than watch, not too scared, just confused, as all of the hours and minutes of his hard work are eaten up by heat.

The fire comes from everywhere and nowhere- leaking silently up the walls, turning the plaster slowly from gold to brown, then black before it crumbles away into ashes. Slowly chewing away at the walls, and the windows. The doorknob rattles and somewhere close by Noodle yowls and scratches at something.

The next thing Yoongi knows is that you’re very very still. You’re not moving at all. Not even a little bit- those pupish twitches of your fingers or the wiggle of your nose when you scent his displeasure. Nothing. None of it.

Yoongi is holding you, you are so small, so fragile in his arms. Lighter than you are in reality as he shakes you and tries to get you to wake up. You smile in your sleep a lot, but you aren’t smiling now. The mating mark is blackened against your throat, a thin trail of black and red that rims your lips, bleeding down the corner of your mouth. Inky dark one second, bright crimson the next as a bit of blood drips down the side of your face. 

There is so much blood. It's wet and it's cold despite the fire.

He calls your name, and you don't answer. Yoongi's own voice sounds muffled, Warbled. He keeps talking. Unsure what he's saying. He shouts and screams. But his voice never gets louder, you never wake up. He yells as loud as he can and you still don’t wake up.

It comes all at once, just like the fire.

There is blood on your throat too, so much it can't just be from your mouth. Bright and ruby, slipping down your collar bones and the hallow of your chest. Welling out from somewhere- somewhere that Yoongi can't see. Where are you hurt? Where is it coming from? Yoongi can't find the cause of the bleeding.

There is blood on your arms- trailing to the hallow of your elbow, between your legs, soaking through the white of his shirt, heavy and sticky and warm. Yoongi feels like he's suffocating. Yoongi searches for the source of the bleeding, fingers ruddy, soaking into his palms and his knuckles. Frantic as he tugs the hem of your shirt soaked through. The shorts at your hips- all red.

There is so much of it, so much of it that it pools around the two of you on the floor, slow and lazily, almost taunting Yoongi- just like the flames. Yoongi can do little more but watch you bleed out and hold you through it. Hold you as you die. Watch the red swallow you until there's nothing left of you. Just blood-soaked clothing. His breath hitches, suddenly painful in his lungs and his voice comes all at once. So loud it hurts him.  

“Namjoon- please- someone help me- someone-”

Yoongi wakes in the nest completely alone. Jerking up so fast that it makes him dizzy. He's too warm. Hot and balmy. Sweat soaks the front of his shirt.

He pushes himself up in the empty nest on shaking hands. Blinking, looking around at the folded blankets, the pillows at the rim of the nook, the absence of any other living soul here.

(that's not entirely true, Noodle is perched on a nearby pillow purring loudly. That's as much comfort as he can possibly offer as he's sworn to hate his arch-nemesis for eternity. Even though Yoongi sort of gives the best chin rubs- although Noodle would never confess it and will take the secret to his grave).

The high ceilings are dark and hollow, the whole room drenched in that half twilight of closed drapes. Empty even though Yoongi looks- searching for his packmates, searching for anything to make his chest feel not so tight.

Noodle purrs loudly and blinks slow.

The Christmas lights have been turned off- probably to help him sleep. The light streaming through the cracks in the curtains is dissonant. But the room is quiet and cluttered- Hobi’s monstera looks freshly misted in the corner, and humidity clings to the windows and skylight up high.

Yoongi pulls himself up and heaves out a shaky breath. Chest tight. You- he needs to find you. Find you and make sure- make sure you're not- Yoongi lets out a shaky breath. A dream, that's all it was. Just a dream. But part of him can't believe it. What if it wasn't?

It’s still hard to tell. The panic won’t leave his lungs. At the front of his nose is the scent of burning things- and that is very very real.

It looks like the omega’s piled the blankets around him, a smaller ring of fluffy blankets to keep the last slumbering packmate safe from outside eyes. But with so many blankets- Yoongi has overheated. He's sweaty and sticky and gross feeling. He should probably shower before he goes downstairs, probably, but-

He needs to make sure you're alright, right now- before he falls apart. Noodle mewls lightly and pulls himself over to Yoongi, pushing up against his trembling fingers, licking at them until Yoongi scratches his chin.

It takes him a second, staring down at his sweat-soaked shirt- to distinguish that it is not blood, blinking and mistaking the light behind his eyes for red.

Yoongi doesn’t say anything and doesn’t call out for anyone. Can’t do anything but detangle himself from the mess of blankets and Noodle and follow the smell of burning things down down down the stairs. Feeling like a ghost with a bad taste in his mouth. A vague pressure behind his eyes and a numbness in his arms and hands from lying on them for so long. His blood circulates slowly and sluggishly.

You are standing on a kitchen stool when he skitters to a stop on bare feet at the bottom of the stairs.

Yoongi has to blink a few times to make sure he's not dreaming, that the walls are the same light pink color they always were. Not brick red but not creamy plaster white- off color like the flush at your cheeks.

The sweater you wear is Hobi's- extra big especially at the wrists, pulling down all the way to your elbow as you reach up to stop the beeping from the smoke alarm with a wave of a newspaper. Nose wrinkled at the smell of smoke. You don't have the crusties at your eyes and your skin is glossy. Seokjin probably did your skincare routine for you as the pack omega is prone to do with so much extra time for fussing these days.

There is no one else in the house but you. The top layer of the air in the kitchen is cloudy with smoke. Yoongi watches you and scrubs a hand over his face. You do not turn and look at Yoongi in the doorway, although you know it’s him just because you can sense when your mate comes close, either scenting him on the air or through the dull pulse of the mating park.

Your sense of smell has been getting a little bit better recently. Yoongi knows better than to chalk it up to your weight gain but your health checkup earlier this week had been a lot more promising than the one before. Yoongi had gone to the appointment with you, and you’d perked up almost immediately when you realized he wasn’t going to give you the distant silent treatment again, all but skipping into the exam room.

He’d even let you hold his hand while they took your blood. He’s never had the heart to leave you scared. Never. Not even when he's angry at you.

Your hormones are leveling out, although there are no signs of you going into heat yet. Another 3 months of no change and you've promised Namjoon to at least talk about hormone therapies.

Tae had reassured you that it wasn't so bad with a kiss on your forehead and a hand at your hip. Covering the place where you, like Tae, might one day receive the weekly injections by Namjoon's hands.

It’s daunting. The idea of sitting through the same kind of treatment that Tae gets; the clink of the glass bottles on the counter, the pearly sound of glass hitting tile. The cold swipe of a swab and the press of a needle.

Namjoon’s always gentle.

You'd be inclined to just leave it alone- but your doctor had been very insistent, something about possible fertility issues if you want to have pups one day.  It’s hard to get pregnant outside of a heat, nearly impossible. This isn't an issue that can be just pushed under the rug if pups are something you want to have with the pack someday.

Namjoon and Tae had perked up a little when the idea of pups had been broached. But Yoongi had remained at the fringes of the room- silent. Yoongi thinks about your scent changing the same way Tae's did- how it went from cinnamon and pepper to cinnamon and roses.

He'd never tell her because Yoongi would never want to make Tae feel self-conscious about her own much-needed changes, but he doesn't like the idea of your scent changing the same way.

Deep down Yoongi wonders if you’d want to have pups if it wasn’t what the pack wanted. He’s not sure he’d be able to handle it, a little bundle of you and him and the whole big fucking world with all its wicked people. Yoongi knows peace now but still doesn't trust it. Wouldn't trust it especially if it was just him and you and a little life- so unprotected and vulnerable.

Yoongi doesn’t like feeling this way; vulnerable.

He breathes in a deep breath of your scent, warm and sweet and slightly smooth, not frazzled or scared sour (the way he first knew your scent to be, back before he even knew that you smelled like cake and not rain). You smell completely unaffected, unworried, and unharmed. You don't smell at all like you would have in Yoongi's dream. You don't smell like you're dying.

So why is his heart still beating out of his chest?

He crosses the kitchen in a few shakey strides, just as you start to speak. “Hobi made pancakes but Jin and him started making out and they like totally forgot about them! So they’re out getting breakfast sandwiches, I didn’t wanna wake you so I just got you-”

Your voice cuts off abruptly as Yoongi lines his face up with your spine and plants his nose there, breathing in your scent once, then again shaky. Nuzzling into your lower back. Arms around your waist, gripping your hips.

You make a little noise, questioning, looking down at him with a mixture of shock and concern. and you should be shocked and concerned- it's been nearly a month since your mate hugged you- let alone clutched you to his chest like this. It’s roughly the same sound that Noodle makes when you wake him up with pets.

He holds around your waist as you stand on the ladder, three feet up. His hands tangle with the fabric at your hips. he blinks looking down and away, at the floor.

“Yoongi!? What’s wrong?”

Dimly, he's aware that he’s supposed to be angry at you. He flushes, the blood hot and pink at his cheeks. You’re not supposed to be speaking really- at least not about things that matter and to be fair- Yoongi cannot speak right now. Burying his face in your back until the feeling of your blood on his hands is a distant memory. Feeling the warmth of your skin until the idea of you cold and still no longer bothers him.

Not a memory- a dream. Not a memory. He has to remind himself a second time. Remind himself enough that by the time he doesn't belive it the space to answer your question comes and goes.

Your eyebrows lower and you set a hand on his head, threading routinely into his hair- long, shaggy and dark. And he pushes further into your skin and into your touch the same way plants press into sunlight.

Yoongi is so tired of being angry, he's so tired of being scared. Your hand touches his cheek and his eyes flutter. Lips parting. Namjoon cuddled him just last night- but Yoongi will always be touch starved just for you.

Your breath hitches, "Oh Yoongi."

his arms tighten around you, like he's worried you're going to slip through his arms like smoke. "Bad dream?" You ask, it's a state that you are only too familiar with as he hums non-committal. you turn around halfway so that you can put your hands on his shoulders and touch him. Yoongi almost wants to keen at the contact, almost wants to tell you he likes it too much- which would be embarrassing. He nods against your back.

He missed this, missed this A lot. He missed you. Yoongi's eyes are itchy.

This is the first time he’s held you since you almost left, besides that moment in the car when you were both so angry and so broken it hardly mattered. Yoongi swallows, and he still can’t speak when he tries. Hiding his face in your spine, your hip when you turn, back hugging you because even on a ladder he is still mostly taller than you. Shaking faintly, still shaking off the fucking dream.

His voice is croaky, not all there when his voice box finally cooperates. “Can you get off?"

You get down from the stepstool instantly. His hands tangle in the side of your shirt to steady you. Unwilling to go more than a few inches from you. You're always so wobbly in the mornings before you've eaten and Yoongi is ever mindful.

The sweater you wear has a small doodled bunch of flowers on the front, a botanical print. Yoongi thinks he remembers if vaguely- from a trip Hobi and Namjoon took to the botanical garden a few years ago. It's got holes in the arms like Hobi has snagged it one too many times on rose bushes. Yoongi threads his fingers through them and holds on.

You stare up at him from the floor like you’re waiting for his instruction. Eyes wide and glassy and pretty and alive.

Yoongi stills, breath hitching- at the sight of a bit of red on your lips.

It's off to the side, on your bottom lip almost hidden by where your smile sits. Yoongi's face crumples a little at the sight of it.

Yoongi reaches up with shaking hands to touch it, wiping it away. You follow his hand. He looks down at the smudge on his finger. The little bit of red.

“Oh! That was from Tae she-" You break off when he pulls you back to him, crushing you to his chest. And you surely can’t know what’s going wrong or what Yoongi’s just dreamed but you let him man handle you regardless.

He's sort of glad that no one else is home, that it's just you and him here for a few moments. The quiet of the house is all encompassing- beyond the sound of wind sneaking under the windowsills and the pitter-patter of the drizzle outside. Noodle meows dolefully from the stairs, coming to see why Yoongi had abandoned him so abruptly (the nerve of him.)

Yoongi rests his full weight on you, crushing you to his chest. You push his hair back away from his face, and Yoongi keeps his eyes closed like that will keep the feeling here for longer. Like he's worried if he opens his eyes the nightmare will be here again.

Your hands, his face, small fingers that push at the wetness that he doesn’t name dripping under his eyes. His breath comes out in short little gasps.

There is rain outside, pattering against the window. It’s been raining a lot over the last few days. Soaking the soil in the pre-spring cold. It won't be long now and everything will be green again. Hobi will plant the window boxes, and you'll be able to put the ferns out. You and Tae will start wearing your matching dresses all the time and it will become Yoongi's job to cut the watermelon because he's the only one in the house trusted besides Jin with the big knives. He'll cut up orange slices and peaches and strawberries too. Everything for his loves and their hungry mouths and hungry hearts.

Soon but not yet. Spring and summer are just around the corner but they're not here yet and yoongi is painfully aware of that.

You don’t ask him why he’s crying; you don’t look him in the eyes when he opens them, just continue your careful petting through his hair, eyes flickering up, then down and away. The twist of your lips is guilty.

You are not bleeding; you are alive and Yoongi cannot stand it. The weight of memories he didn’t live weighs on him, still memories. He breathes out a shaky breath. And double-checks his fingers are absent of blood after he rubs over your throat. Checking.

You pull at him, hands on his shoulders. “Come on-“

You pull him through the quiet halls, and into the room at the very back of the house. Noodle follows too with a jingle of his purple bell collar.

The windows here are cracked to let in the chilly spring air- pushing out the last mustyness of winder and bringing with it the smell of rain. The nesting nook is dark and cozy-tempting; but full of stuffed animals and extra nesting pillows that you scoop out of the interior and put on the floor with such care. Lining them up against the outside of the nook. All to make room for him.

Yoongi holds onto the hem of your sweater, rubbing a fist against his eye. Like a clingy child. But he has to let you go when you turn. he can feel the pout on his face and you reach up to smooth it out. You only pause for a second, briefly, “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Yoongi shakes his head, still wordless, unable to make his mouth cooperate. You don’t say anything, you don’t do anything but pull him into the warm dark quiet of the nesting nook.

Yoongi hasn’t spent so much time with you in here, but it’s surprisingly well-ventilated, the woven fabric sides of it dark but breathable. There’s not a lot of room but you make it work. Scooting back and pulling him down and down and down.

You pull him to rest against your chest, between your legs. Your hips splayed to let him curl up and nuzzle into you- in something like a full-body hug. Yoongi is too tired and too shaky to protest. He can’t even say he doesn’t want to but you check anyway- your movements slow as you get him situated.

Your heartbeat thuds quick against his fingertips. Yoongi wants to tell you that you don’t need to be scared, you don’t need to be afraid of overstepping. But can’t make his mouth cooperate.

His arms loosely circle around your waist, and then harder to crush you against him. At this position, you have full reign to run your fingers through his hair, over his shoulders, and down and up again. He knows he smells sweaty and probably rancid. But he nuzzles into your skin at the low neckline of the sweater. He puts his ear against your heart. Thud thud thud. Slowing down and evening out. You're right here and just under him, safe, and his eyelids are so heavy.

“Is this better? Do you need to go back to sleep?” Yoongi nods and doesn’t need to say another word.

Sleep rises up frightfully quick to meet him. He's not at all convinced that he hasn't dreamed it all. Finding you, coming here, and curling up. A dream within a dream. A good one in exchange for the nightmare earlier.

But this time he doesn’t dream at all, and even if he does, it’s only the sound of your heartbeat- thud thud thud. His own heartbeat thins out, and the tenseness in his shoulders relaxes.

Yoongi wakes up because a tomato has just fallen on his face.

You’re trying to be quiet, but Hoseok understandably laughs from where he’s holding out a half-unwrapped breakfast sandwich into the nesting nook for you to take a bite. Yoongi can vaguely place the words just whispered over his head. 'You guys eat without us, I don't want to wake him' 'Okay, but have a bite first- you know they're better when they're warm' 

Your laughter shakes against his cheek, your jaw clicks as you chew, and when he picks himself up, the tomato slides down his face, syrup slow. Until it flops against your throat. You and Hobi devolve into louder giggles and Yoongi can't stop the laugh that comes from his chest too.

The ruse is up, and you're all laughing. “Oh my god Hobi you promised to be quiet,”

Hoseok's one knee depresses the side of the nesting nook as he leans. Grinning down at Yoongi. Long fingers splayed around his ribs, making Yoongi shiver. The alpha pulls at his hips, and Yoongi feels a bit like a chew toy but in the best way, to be between the two of you laughing. “Come on Yoon- we’ve got you one too-“

Yoongi lets you both puppet him into the other room. Stumbling between the two of you. Until Hobi ducks low and nuzzles, and Yoongi just resorts to watching the two of you.

The way your hand goes from holding Yoongi's to touching Hobi's palm, then back to his like a bumblebee darting between flowers. A small smile works its way onto Yoongi's face. Even more when you pinch Hobi's ass and Hobi acts appropriately scandalized. Only you could get in on his and Jungkook's near-perpetual ass-touching competition.

(Yoongi's smile grows wider without him even realizing it).

There is a spread on the dining room, three heavy brown paper bags not just of breakfast sandwiches wrapped in checkered paper but biscuits in syrupy gravy, french toast sticks with honey yellow syrup, and a whole tray of tater tots that Jin pops into his mouth with a satisfying crunch. Half of the pack is still in their pajamas; it can't be later than 11.

Namjoon and Jimin are noticeably absent from the table- at work. But Hobi, Jin, and Tae are setting up the plates. Jungkook's already showered from his morning run- his hair all locky and tangled.

Tae looks a vision in a pair of flared yoga pants and Yoongi just blinks at her thighs, not realizing he’s staring until Hobi pinches his thigh for it. You laugh too and pull out the chair next to him with a squeak while Hobi hands out sandwiches and Jungkook cuts them into perfect triangles.

Yoongi blinks down at his plate, and he’s got a quarter of everyone’s sandwich on his, easily more than he can eat but still- You trade, cutting thirds and halves to try them all. Yoongi stares at them and feels fresh wetness on his lash line. Tae notices him staring, and she’s got sesame seeds stuck in what's left of her lipstick when she smiles.

“We didn’t know what you liked- so we got you two.”

And oh, Yoongi can’t breathe. The love in his chest bullies away the oxygen. How lucky he is to have people that get him two sandwiches instead of one, how lucky he is to have a house full of laughter and warm bellies and-

Hobi gets him a cup of coffee, Jin nurses his, thick-rimmed glasses and warm cheeks chubby as he looks across the table at Yoongi like he knows. He leans across the table to tangle their hands while he flips through his phone. Leaving the beta to his overfull heart.

“Tae- your nail appointment isn’t until 1- would you like Jinnie to curl your hair for you?”

“Can we try a new style this time? Space buns?” Tae asks so so sweetly- already wearing lipgloss even though she must have barely left the house. The smile never falters, just spreads wider when he stares at the glossy pink.

Jin hums, happy, "Of course."

"I love you guys" Yoongi whines. looking at Jin because he can't look at you. Telling everyone- because he can't tell just you. And really it's the truth. Jin blinks and looks up at him. A smile spreading on his chubby cheeks.

"Aw- someone's sappy." Hobi teases. "For the record, love you too"

"for the record; He just woke up" You peck the back of Yoongi's neck and shivers erupt all over his body. you lean behind him to swat at Hobi's shoulder. "Give him a break." The sound of chairs scraping hides Yoongi's whine and his blush.

"For the record, Love you too bun,"

Tae snorts, eyebrows knitting together as Jungkook sits on her lap instead of the chair right next to him. "Weird, but I like it" she pauses, "for the record."

Yoongi rolls his eyes, "oh my god stop-"

"For the record; Hobi started it."

"You guys call me bunny and bun all the time- I should be able to use it too!" Jungkook smirks, pausing for dramatic effect. "for the record."

Yoongi groans and you giggle. "Okay I'm done," Yoongi's smiling anyway

You sit, a little clumsy, and your coffee spills a little onto the dark wood table. Jin wipes it up with a tut, eyes still on the schedule. “There’s nothing else much for today just Tae’s appointment. Anyone else want to do anything?”

“Wanna cook together tonight?” You ask, Yoongi pulls your chair over to rest against his properly, he can still pull you over with little effort but it’s getting harder each day.

It’s a good sort of hard. You have half of a sandwich on your plate a quarter of Tae’s and another small corner in your hand half gone already. Yoongi should start working out with Jungkook- so that he’s as strong as you need him to be.

You look at him, and then down at your nearly pressing thighs, “wanted you to be closer to me.” He says, and then cringes, Hobi laughs at him and hits his plate with a metal clink. You just hum and turn back to your breakfast. Yoongi can see the smile in the curve of your cheek, can see it in full when he turns your face to wipe away the sesame seeds stuck to your mouth too.

"Yeah, what do you want to make Jin?"

You talk it through. You and Yoongi and Jin- easily launching into what you'll make, what you'll bake and barter for another night of full bellies and a full house of love. and although it involves a trip to a grocery store, it's easily set into motion.

Hobi asks you if you’ll walk with him to work today, he has to go in a few minutes and it’s not that far of a walk. 10 minutes. Half a mile.

But you say you’ll go only if Yoongi does too and he’s agreeing before he even realizes it. But as far as mornings go, walking Hobi to work and getting to walk home with you isn’t the worst way things could go. Not by far. Neither is the way that you tug his jacked tighter against his throat in the doorway of the flower shop. The roses in the windowsill all yellow.

“I’m really not all that cold.”

“Still, I always want you to be warm”

"I like taking walks after breakfast," you say after another few minutes of walking. Light. Calm. The cold air encourages more pink from your cheeks. The sun streaming through the leafless branches now that the storm has pulled off.

"We can do it tomorrow if you want." Whatever you want.

Maybe you’ll even hold hands (you will, Yoongi will reach for your hand first, and you’ll walk in quiet that isn’t so quiet all turn to you pointing to someone’s porch and the flowers they’ve already put out in their pots. Bright pansies, splotches of color among the springtime drudgery, and the million shades of grey and taupe.

“Do you think we can plant flowers soon?” Yoongi will say maybe, but Hobi will bring a flat of pansies home before either of you can text and ask.

But that will be later. For now, Yoongi just looks at you next to him on the dining room table, thumb rubbing up and down your thigh, forgetting to chew as he looks at you. Forgetting to take a bite of the sandwich slowly falling apart in his hands. The cheese and the egg sliding out. Both yellow, both yummy, both needed. 

Yoongi looks at you until Tae reaches over to pinch his thigh and he jumps. The egg in his sandwich slips out, hitting his plate with a slap.

Yoongi smiles, (really, the love is spreading like wildfire, slipping in through the windows like beams of sunlight, moving easily and unabated, like light through air).

“Eat your breakfast hyung- it’s getting cold.” She chirps.

Yoongi gladly complies, hungrier than he's been in years.

(In the end, forgiveness is not something that is inevitable. Forgiveness is something that you want to give, you have to want it with that person and they have to want it too. You have to give.

Yoongi will give and give and give.)

~-~

It happens on one of those evenings:

The nesting room is silent with the sound of sleeping packmates. The long curtains piled on the floor and two sets of bunny slippers sit unattended by the nest entrance because Jungkookie’s toes get cold sometimes and you like to match. His blue and yours pink. The Christmas lights up above are dimmed to a soft moonlit glow, lighting the bodies of your sleeping pack; gentle and heaped like sweet pavlova.

The door at the top of the stairs is open. There’s nothing to keep out tonight; no darkness or bad dreams. Nothing to fight off besides the vague feeling of childlike adventure that you gladly welcome inside. Not the sound of Noodle zooming around downstairs or the creeks of the house that’s almost finished.

Almost, it’s getting there. Yoongi has been working hard.

You and Hobi turn restless tonight. The only ones truly awake. Not with unease or with nightmares- too real and long gone. It’s not the memories of people with silver hair and dishonest smiles that keep you awake. Those villains are for dragons vanquished or papers in ashes that will never rise again to taunt you with their secrets.

There is no tower that you’re trapped in, at least not physically. Even mentally too. Any mental foes or sickness left in the confines of your head can wait until a later date.

Maybe it’s because of the full moon, the pearl bubble of your soul that matches and turns and keeps you awake, restless beneath the pink light. Maybe it’s because you both napped earlier with Yoongi in the nesting pod.

You’ve been doing that a lot more frequently over the last few days, taking little moments with Yoongi; spending breakfast in bed, cooking together most nights, sitting next to him always. Even small dates. Not even fancy ones but silly little outings that make you feel younger than you are.

Trips to his old coffee shop where he met Jin. His and Hobi's old record store, and Hobi's flower shop. Sometimes you leave separately and meet there to make it feel more like a date date. And Yoongi pretends he's surprised by the color of lipstick that Tae chose and you admire the ruffle of his tousled hair (he fussed with it for a few minutes in his car).

You'd never had a chance to date properly the first time.

It makes your relationship feel newer than it is. It makes you feel like you're making an effort instead of just having fun with your mate. It makes you feel like the drips of yellow paint on your sleeve- that had gotten there during the little sip and paint that you did last Thursday.

You'd gotten so giggly on cheap wine that you had to call Namjoon to pick you both up. You’d gotten handsy in the backseat and filled the car with the scent of arousal strong enough that Namjoon’s knuckles had gone white on the steering wheel. Barely a brain cell to scrape together to concentrate on driving.

Or the next day when you’d gotten dolled up just to go to different bakeries and sample cakes, eating them in the car with the windows rolled all the way down and the heat blasting. “This ones so good, have a bite.”

The two of you might be foodies actually, you might have found a shared hobby with it- testing pastries and food. You like the little things like fancy chocolates and fancy teas. It’s going to be your thing- the sweets. You can tell.

But for now, Yoongi sleeps peacefully not far from you as you look over at Hobi, eyes open in the darkness, face upturned, chest rising and falling just a bit too quick for him to be totally asleep. The windows are open and the night air is cool. You can press as close to the others as you want and you won't get too hot. You'd taken full advantage of this hours ago, snug tight under Namjoon's arm. His soft snore a special sort of lullaby.

You haven’t felt this calm in years. It doesn't make you choke up because you've felt this way before and you're getting used to it. The springtime air smells like rain, like the ocean already although you know it sits miles and miles away.

It might be another false spring- but the pack takes what it can get.

The nest is still quiet when you turn to Hobi and find his eyes open and bright in the darkness. Namjoon’s phone on the shelf reads 5:04 am. It's early enough to go back to bed but instead, you scoot over to Hobi when you see he’s awake, gently setting yourself first over Namjoon’s chest and then sliding down his other side to get to him.

Quieting Hobi’s sleepy giggles with an equally sleepy kiss pressed unhurried to his lips. His hands come up loosely to circle your waist, tired, sleepy. Your lips stay pressed for a breath too long. And Hobi shivers at the feeling of your warm skin pressed to his cold cheek.  

It’s still dark outside, not even the faintest breath of the sunrise cresting the trees. You lie there on your stomach, looking at him and stroking a hand down his cheek in the darkness. You just watch him until he turns at you. A bright mischievousness in his eyes. A bad idea or a very good one depending on how you look at it- cresting his mind.

“You know if we leave right now, we can probably get to the beach before sunrise.”

Bad ideas are made better when chased with dreams, it’s only been a month since everything went down, and maybe two since this got normal between the two of you. The kissing, the looks, the touching. That’s different, but it's still just you and Hobi.

He's still your best friend.

The softness runs a little deeper now. He'll always understand you a little better, a little more than the others. Although you'll give them a few years to try and catch up. Hoseok's love is a little softer, like a sunrise instead of a sunset. With no bursts of color just dark blue one minute and light blue the next, baby blue to blush tones to that weird yellow green of the sunlight.

You smile into the next kiss, eyes opening wider now, and you know you won't easily go back to sleep. “Yeah? Want to go?”

His kiss already tastes like saltwater. “Yeah, come on.”

Getting out of the nest without rousing your packmates proves to be too much of a challenge. (And really you think Yoongi would have a heart attack if you tried to leave without at least telling him where you've gone. He might have forgiven you, but you know better than to poke at his wounds.)

Namjoon groans while Yoongi blinks away the darkness behind his eyes, a big hand closing around your wrists, stopping you when Hobi’s already off the bed. “Pups? Where are you-”

“Just to the beach Joonie,” Hobi ducks to press a kiss to Namjoon’s forehead the same moment you kiss Yoongi’s lips, puckering in sleep and making a soft sweet noise. Your mate smells so good- rolling waves of sweet chocolate- so good that it has you not wanting to leave at all. You linger, kissing Yoongi again when the temptation becomes too much.

He opens his eyes and grins at you. "Want company?"

“You don't have to, we’ll be careful! Promise.”

"Where you going?"

He blinks back his sleepiness but no sooner have you explained what you're doing than are Yoongi's arms going around your waist to pull you in. Sitting up too at the same time. Careful to keep his voice low to not wake the others.

“Let me come with,” Hobi is already grinning, hair sticking up in the back after he pulls a sweatshirt over his head. Namjoon shimmies to the end of the nest apparently coming too- only to knock into Seokjin because Namjoon is always sort of clumsy in the mornings and he always gets a bit tangled in the blankets you roll up to construct the edge of the nest.

Jin’s plush lips pout, eyes squinting in the darkness, “Guys? What’s-”

Then Jin trips over Jimin's legs and the alpha shoots up straight, jostling both Tae and Jungkook (folded under either arm) and everyone is awake and sharing plans.

You tug on warmer clothes because Jin fusses; fuzzy socks, and thick cable knit sweaters. Jin doesn’t bother to put his contacts in, black-rimmed glasses balancing on his nose. A thick scarf that he won’t really need teasing at his rosy cheeks.

together you guide a soft and sleepy Jk down the stairs. Scrubbing at his eyes all puppy cute while you’re morning zoomy. Barely pausing to kick off your bunny slippers. Jimin gets down to tie Tae’s laces so she doesn’t have to bend over so early in the morning.

By the time you get down to the ground floor of the house, the light is already turning the sky a lighter shade of blue. And Hoseok is pushing everyone out the door, sometimes physically, with cries of “Quick! Before we miss it!”

For once, you don’t take two cars. This time you pile all in Hobi’s red car (thankfully gotten back from the police with all but minimal scratches and a hefty fine that Namjoon had reluctantly paid). You sit on each other's laps, ducking your head whenever you see oncoming cars in case they might be cops. (You haven't learned your lesson quite yet, but there is time- you don't have to grow up quite yet).

Tae sits on Jimin’s lap. Hands wrapped around her middle, talking softly over the color of her nails (yellow with chrome, making them look almost buttery). Jungkook sits on Namjoon's lap (the alpha tucks his face into Jungkook’s hair, a little long, a little shaggy, intent on going back to sleep.) And you sit in the middle seat on Yoongi's (playing with your mate's hands, turning them over and over again in yours, until he squeezes them lacing them through.)

The pack omega gets princess treatment on account of having the longest legs. Feet Crossed daintily on the dashboard where it not for his thick slides. Hobi drives and fucks with the playlist. But he doesn't need one. Leaves it alone for once in favor of listening.

Yoongi laughs and you ask him why he is. "Don't take this the wrong way but your ass is so boney, my leg is going numb."

"See! I told you you should come with me to pilates!"

"I'm no princess-"

"No- that's me." Jin snorts from the front seat.

"Joonie that tickles."

It’s only a 15-minute drive on the windy backroads, not so unsafe. Not so necessary that you’ll think about taking two cars and separating your little bundle of love into two places. Headlights crest the hills of shrub roses and shrub oak trees, leggy and just beginning to leaf out.

How is it nearly spring already? When did winter pass? Yoongi’s arms never release your waist, he keeps you like that, close and safe until you skitter into the parking lot.

Jin leaves his red scarf in the car. It sits there in the backseat, a heap of red thread whining over and over again, giving warmth that’s no longer needed. A string of fate organized and neat.

The parking lot at the beach is empty at this time of year and at this time of day. There is no snow piled up in heaps, only remnants in the forms of shallow silver pools and puddles that you traipse through with little regard to the state of your socks. The ocean air is warm, unseasonably so. You’re a mess of tangled limbs and pajamas. Laughs and- “oh my god I have to pee-”

Yoongi loses one of his slides on the way out and Jungkook steals it from the pavement. Running off with it and leaving him to hobble on one foot, only to bring it back after a second. And you let Yoongi place his hand on your shoulder for balance while he slides his sock back into it. Worried about getting his socks wet. His hair ruffled and eyes crusty but the sun-

The sun is bright and hot against your cheeks, wind whipping picking up your hair as it crests the horizon. You run out to the edge of the ocean, your legs fighting to keep up with Jungkook who's faster than you now that he's fully awake.

Water soaks pajama hems and you tread a little too close to the shore. It's low tide and the sea is far out. Sea spoils dot the wet sand, joining the reflection of the sky up above and the stars winking out one by one as the sky lightens slow.

You’re the first one to lift your hands, to shout and run as fast as you can (which isn’t very fast at all, so it’s a good thing they give you a head start) but the others follow without much preamble. Giggling and rushing to get to the sea in time.

It’s warm- the wind coming off the sea is warm and damp and lovely. Spring is here, happiness is here- and it might never be going away again. Not if you can help it and not if you hold onto it. You have seven other people to help you hold on tight and never let go.

No matter how hard it gets- you’ll hold onto it. You promise. (Promise me okay?)

Jungkook catches up to you first in the warm sunny sand. He picks you up and twirls you round and round. Shaking you a little, the same way that Noodle might shake a toy. You giggle, high and melodic.

You only see it for a second, spinning round and round- but the rest of them Seokjin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Tae, Jimin, Yoongi- they all stop where they’re running and watch. You’re dizzy when Jungkook stops, his grin pressed to your shoulder, arms hard under your shoulders. Clinging to him still- not putting you down because you’re dizzy and he’s still lifting you up.

“Jungkook- oh my god put me down- I’m heavy Koo- ” You’re a little panicked, a little startled, but laughing all the while.

“Not really. I can still carry you.” He tosses you up and catches you- shrieking even though you don’t really leave his hands. Clinging to him, scared of the weightlessness before he sets you down where you teeter, unsteady, dizzy but still laughing.

Your hands stay around his shoulders, on your tippy toes, and he raises his eyebrow at you.

The others catch up and Jimin leans down to squeeze around your middle. Salt air tickles your forehead.“You’re like hardly a work out-“

Yoongi’s teeth worry away at his lower lip, “guys-“

Jimin shows you it’s not a big deal by heaving you up and over his shoulder. leaving you shrieking again.

“Minnie no!”

"Minnie yes"

Jungkook and Jimin take off and Hobi and Yoongi chase them down, you feel a bit like a chew toy but in the best way, in the way that makes your stomach light and crinkly from the giggles and laughter. You end up with your knees in the sand and Jungkook against your stomach. Hobi behind you, hands fighting Jungkook's. wrestling over you until none of you have anymore energy for it. All of you are covered in sand but you're laughing so hard you taste salt.

You end up sitting there, at the edge of the storm line, where the sand goes hard and crusty at your feet but light and fluffy by your hands. You watch the rest of the sunrise like that. The good part. The best part when the colors bleed across the blue horizon line all yellow and gold.

Namjoon holds out a hand for Jin to get down, a bit more dignified than your sprawling mess of pups. And the pack omega leans sideways against Yoongi’s shoulder. Complaining squeakily about the state of his knees.

You settle against the sand. The eight of you curled close to keep out the last bit of cold. Eyes burning as you watch the sunrise and can't tear your eyes away. Until the sky turns that unmatched shade of blue, the kind that is never quite replicated by nature. Not in roses or daisies or in the color of people’s eyes. Everything blue blue blue.

Your sweatshirt is one of Yoongi's, the same color. Tae’s nails are that purple-blue too as she holds Jimin’s hand in the sand. The same color as the tiny piece of sea glass that Hobi pulls from between his legs because he somehow always finds sea glass. The best at finding lost things.

His hand slides around your middle, pulling you to rest firmly against the hollow of his chest. And his other raises to show you the little fleck of sea glass. Balanced on his index finger.

"It's a lucky find," you say. Hoseok hums behind you. Agreeing. Warm.

Later, you look over at him in the bagel shop (because if you’re going to have an early morning outing then it might as well come with breakfast and coffee.) You sit together with Hobi, Waiting for your sandwiches and your lattes.

Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jin sit at one table and bicker over the merits of avocado toast. While Tae, Jimin, and Jungkook take over the other playing some game that involves flicking a quarter over each of their sides and playing footsie under the table too.

Although Namjoon and Jimin will get frustrated and tug all of the red and white metal tables together before long- No one has the mind for it yet. All of you are still sleepy and pupish and young in a way that you haven't been, haven't felt in such a long time.

Growing up can wait for a day more, growing up can always always wait.

(You haven't thought about it at all today- what Geumjae did to you. You haven’t thought about the hurts in your past at all today and you won’t, the day will pass and it won’t weigh on you, you won’t even notice. That’s the way healing goes- you hardly notice)

(Later there will be food and you won’t think about eating it at all. Hoseok will make your sandwich up just the way you like it and you won't even have to ask for it. You'll eat the same way you love, messy like children but with so much hope in it.)

At the bagel shop, You’ll reach over and wipe your thumb across his lips to get some cream cheese off and it will be the first breakfast of many you’ll spend with him. How lovely is it- to get to spend mornings with the people you love? How lovely it is to lose track of the days and hours and kisses. To not count first kisses anymore and only count more.

You and Hobi are quiet where you sit at the metal tables, it’s not an uncomfortable silence, unbroken by ego or arrogance or anything of the sort. He looks over and smiles at you.

And because he asks, “What are you thinking about?” You give him an honest answer.

“Being at the beach like that,” Your hands play with the piece of blue sea glass he got you, your pockets are full of them because you spent a few minutes once the sun was up walking until the others called you back. Hand in hand, stopping only to pick up more.

“With the sunrise and the sunlight all around us, It kinda felt like the world was giving me a really big hug, do you think that’s stupid?”

(Neither you nor Hobi is thinking about what was done to you. Not even a little bit, not even at all. I hope you never think about it either. I hope you get to have days where you don't remember. Where you forget what it was like to need to be strong. May the prey animal part of you that lingers in your body and remembers be turned soft and docile with age. May you forget what it's like to be hunted and afraid. I hope you forget him. The man who hurt you. I hope you forget what he looks like and the sound of his voice. I hope you forget it all.)

“I don’t think that’s stupid at all.”

He pulls his chair over to your side of the table and puts his chair right next to yours so that your thighs can touch. Even though it’s a public place and even though it’s probably not appropriate. He pecks your shoulder and squeezes around your waist extra tight, grinning. It’s an awkward sideways hug but he pulls you as close as he can until it forces a giggle from your stomach. His palms press flat against your stomach and his thumb rubs up and down. Slowly.  

“In case you want one more, what’s another hug after all?”

~-~

Notes:

It's a sweet sort of irony, that this chapter is going to be posted when the people who live in the bily house are getting married <3 like what are the odds of that.

i think that this chapter is the real like- spot between the chapter chapters of bily and the epilogue! i think you can kind of feel it in the way that the chapter ends.

it's so like me to accidentally talk about tae's boobs for a few paragraphs i can't help it her tiddies are just so special to me. like 10/10, i saw a picture of dita von tess and just so you know...in my mind after tae gets a boob job- which she will- this is just me forshadowing it- thats the kinda tiddies she gets <3 cute lemon shaped ones!

the line about tae liking hyung more than oppa to use for the other members of the pack- is just kinda edgeing on an idea i've had for a while about my own gender thoughts- and thats that you can take what you like and what you don't like from each gender and make it what you want regardless of how you identify.

it's easy to forget that yoongi is also traumatized too you know? he needs so much hugs in this,

it always hits me how stylistically different i write the characters in bily- like this chapter i feel like i really got to develop yoongi's internal voice like- he's a very even cut of internal monologue, action, and sensation. different than the m/c who tends to be sensation first and then action, and jimin who is all bland sensation, and tae who has a very very strong internal monologue.

In many ways this chapter feels so like- stylistically light- like i think this entire series i've been trying to capture the feelings of found family- and you know-= this one gets alot of it right.

[midgardianweasley]

Oh please may I request a Natasha X fem reader where Natasha comes down with the flu & reader takes care of her. At first Natasha is in denial & stubborn about being sick but Reader is having none of it, especially for the woman she has feelings for. So reader carries Natasha to her room. For a week reader does her best to make the red head as comfy as she can. Then one night when Natasha is high on medication, confesses her feelings for reader. Just pure fluff! I will forever be grateful! ❤️❤️

of course! i hope you like it <3

Take care of you

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary/request: Natasha comes down with the flu & reader takes care of her. At first Natasha is in denial & stubborn about being sick but Reader is having none of it, especially for the woman she has feelings for. So the reader carries Natasha to her room. For a week the reader does her best to make the red head as comfy as she can. Then one night when Natasha is high on medication, confesses her feelings for the reader.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 3.8k

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Requests are open

It was another day in the compound, the early sunrise started to make its way into your window, dimly lighting the room and beginning to make you stir awake.

A quiet groan escaped your lips, arms and legs automatically stretching before relaxing immediately afterwards. You’d just come back from a mission a couple of days ago, it had been exhausting and cold. So, so, cold. So it was a relief to get into pyjamas and your blanketed bed with the heating up so the room was warm, but not a furnace.

Standing up, your toes curled into the fluffy rug as you picked up a grey jumper that had been discarded beside the bed, throwing it over your figure, falling just below your thighs which were covered with loose sweatpants.

You made your way out of the bedroom and towards the communal kitchen belonging to everyone that belonged on your floor, Tony had made an all girls floor for us, apparently we need the space to deal with our 'girly stuff', that man has a way with words. Tony stayed with Pepper on their own floor and the male Avengers had been split up in small groups across other floors.

Expecting the kitchen to have a few people inside either eating or just chatting, you were surprised to see that it was empty for as far as you could see. However, it was obvious that people had been in beforehand, with the odd plate and mug lying around next to the sink.

‘Must be in training’ you thought.

Before you could walk to the kitchen island and begin to make something to eat, you heard a sneeze coming from the doorway a few steps behind you. With a small jump, you turned to see an assassin whose nose was currently the same colour as her hair.

“Sorry for scaring you.” She snuffled. Obviously the cold hit some people a little harder than others.

“It’s alright, you okay though? You sound a bit snuffly.”

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just allergies.” Pulling some Frosties from the cupboard below her, exposing her side a little as her top fell forward.

You knew she was lying, she’d told you ages ago that she didn’t have any kind of hayfever or anything when you walked around the compound with antihistamines constantly in your back pocket during the spring time last year and she was making jokes about how screwed you would be if the Avengers had to fight against pollen. You weren’t impressed.

You decided to leave it be for now, let her keep up her little facade, even though you knew, and she did too, that you could read her like a book and you knew she was sick.

“Right. Allergies.” You nodded directly to your friend and teammate, walking towards her to make yourself some cereal too, smirking to yourself slightly whenever you heard her try not to audibly sniffle.

The thing about Natasha that you'd always found so bittersweet, was her stubbornness. She always stuck to her guns, always made a deal to let it be known she was correct, however it was never in a malicious way, or to make anyone feel bad, she just liked to make her point. While you admired her confidence and certainty in her words, it was also incredibly frustrating when she was determined she didn't need any help.

Back in the days when she was hesitant to trust all those around her, she wouldn't let anyone help her heal her wounds from missions she'd been hurt on. Always brushing it off with an 'I'm fine' or 'I can do it myself'. She's grown a lot since then, she even occasionally let's you braid her hair when it's fallen out or she just needs to relax a little and while you know it's mainly for practicality, you still pride yourself on the fact that she chooses you to do that for her. To help her.

"Achoo!"

You just wish she'd have that same trust in you to nurse her a little.

"Doing okay over there?" You directed to the redhead who now sat curled up into the corner of the sofa by the windows, slowly munching on her cereal and taking short, mouthy breaths

"I'm doing" sniffle "great" She rubbed her nose with the back of her hand, it slowly appearing more red and irritated by the action.

You internally sigh, wondering how long it'll really take for her to fess up to you that she was coming down with something. Continuing to make your cereal and tidy up afterwards, you pick up the bowl and make your way over to Natasha.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"Sure, but not too close"

"Why not?"

"Because i.."

"Because you're…?"

"Sneezing all over the place! I don't want to sneeze on you. You know how it is with your hayfever"

In her years of being a highly trained assassin, a black widow, you think that that has to have been the worst lie she's tried to pull off.

"I do, but I don't think you would"

"Huh?"

"You don't have hayfever, Nat. You're sick."

"I'm no-" she was interrupted with another sneeze, grabbing a tissue from the box sitting on the table beside her.

“Bless you.”

“thank you” she mumbled, soon beginning to realize that with every minute, her story begins to crumble and her ill health becomes more obvious.

“come on, i’m taking you to bed”

“you’re not even gonna ask me on a date first? classy.” she joked, although congested, her wit remained just as quick and just as sassy.

It was moments like these, where she made those flirty comebacks or comments that made you wonder if the feelings you’ve harbored over the past months are reciprocated. you’d always put it to the back of your mind when you’d occasionally see her and Bruce cosying up, or what appeared to be a loving gaze shared between her and Steve. You decided to put your feelings to one side, not willing to not only ruin something for Nat, but end up being hurt in the long run. It was best to stay friends.

If only you knew.

A playful glare was sent her way upon hearing her words, trying to silently communicate that try as she may, she isn’t winning this one. It felt like you were staring at each other for hours, realistically it was only a matter of seconds, minutes at a push, before she threw her head back in defeat and audibly groaned at the fact she’d lost.

“Okay. okay, fine, I surrender”

You rolled your eyes at the dramatics, all of this for some bed rest, meds and soup. Standing up from your spot, you lean down and swiftly lift the redhead up bridal style in your arms, cereal being long forgotten. One of the perks of attending Steve’s training sessions, you build up a hell of a lot of strength because that man does not go easy on you.

It was a short walk to Nat’s bedroom, her room only being at the end of the hall down from the kitchen. She was practically half asleep in your arms, her head had found its way burrowed into the crook of your neck, minutes away from falling asleep.

“Hey FRIDAY, can you unlock Natasha’s room please? Hands are kinda full.”

You heard a small click noise before the door opened slightly allowing you to gently kick it open fully so you could walk in.

“Miss Romanoff’s door is unlocked, Miss Y/L/N.”

“Thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

Walking in, you already had an idea of what her room would look like, having been in once or twice before. Natasha liked to keep her things tidy and in order, clothes laid away, bed made, floor clear. So to see her bed covers ruffled into a ball, tissues in the bin and scattered around and laundry in a bundle in the corner, it took you by surprise. She must really be unwell.

You took her over to the bed, laying her down gently before pressing the back of your hand to her forehead, she felt like an oven to the touch.

‘Okay. definitely a fever.’

She was in between being asleep and being awake, so you decided to leave her covers off and tidy up some of the mess in her bedroom. You discarded the tissues, hung up some clean clothes that were yet to be put away and replaced the space in the basket with her dirty laundry. Turning back to see if the assassin had fallen asleep or not, you really took in her appearance.

Her clothes were just slightly on the big side, but you could still see a faint outline of her figure, hair was tied back into a loose ponytail, letting the odd few strands escape and frame her face. Her eyes were practically fully shut, but you could still see the tint of green in them, slightly covered by her long, dark eyelashes. ‘It’s unbelievable’, you thought, ‘Her body is literally shutting down, and she still looks angelic.’

You’d be riddled with envy if you weren’t so entranced by her. Times like this, you wonder how you manage to keep your feelings to yourself.

“What” cough “what are you doing?” A raspy voice asked.

“Oh, I was just tidying up your room a bit, I know you like it to be tidy and-”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know. I wanted to.” You ensured.

“Thank you.” It wasn’t obvious, you had to squint to see it, but she attempted a half smile.

“I’m just going to put this stuff in the wash, do you need anything brought back for you?”

“I’m just too warm.”

Looking around the room, you looked for ways to cool her down. There was the obvious option of windows, but they were full length except a tiny rectangle at the top which wouldn’t be enough air. You racked your brain for another minute before an idea came to mind.

“Wait here, I’ll be back in a second.”

“I’ll time you.”

If you weren’t in a rush to get back as soon as possible, you would’ve made a comeback to her comment. You took the washing to the laundry room, quickly throwing it all into the machine and putting on a boil wash before dashing to your own bedroom. Eyes scanning all over the room, it didn’t take long before they landed on the desk fan sitting on top of your wardrobe. Reaching up and grabbing it, thankfully it was a small wardrobe otherwise it would’ve been an incredibly embarrassing fall, you made your way back to Nat’s room.

Entering her room, you could feel it getting warmer as time went by. The woman hadn’t moved from where you left her, still sprawled out among the sheets. You set the fan down on her bedside table, plugged it in and switched the ‘on’ button. Over the quiet whirring, you heard a faint gasp of relief leave Nat’s lips, her body visibly relaxing at the cool breeze.

“That feel better?”

“Mhmm” She murmured, shifting in her bed to get as close to the fan as possible.

“How’s your hayfever now?”

“Hmm”

You chuckled at her sudden calmness that overtook her, glad to have been able to help her out a little.

It wasn’t long before she fell asleep, the last of her energy disappeared within seconds and soft snores emitted from her. Pushing her hair back off of her forehead gently, you whispered a quiet ‘sleep well, love.’ before walking out to do some other things around the compound, reminding yourself to come back in an hour or so to check in.

You didn’t notice the affectionate smile that had made its way onto Nat’s face at your gesture.

__________________________

“Miss Y/L/N.” Friday suddenly announced, making you drop the wooden spoon you were using to stir the soup you’d made for Nat. You remember her mentioning a dish called ‘borscht’, something she used to have in Russia, it was one of her comfort dishes. It was either this, or pizza. The soup was probably the safer option.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

“Yes, sorry F.R.I.D.A.Y., what’s wrong?”

“Miss Romanoff is awake and asking for you.”

“Oh, thank you! Could you let her know I'll be through in a minute?”

“Of course.”

And with a chime, F.R.I.D.A.Y. went off to pass on the message. You hastily got a bowl out of the cupboard behind you, spooning a generous amount of the soup in and covering the pot up afterwards.

The room had considerably cooled now, the fan had been on full speed since you left, the only difference was the curtains were now shut and the corner lamp was on, dimly illuminating the room.

A small ‘hi’ could be heard, although muffled, still audible. You knelt down beside her bed so you could be at the same eye level and tugged the blanket covering half of her face down.

“Hey sleepy.”

“Did I sleep for long?”

“Only an hour. Don’t worry.”

“An hour?! Ugh. I said to Clint that i’d train with him today. I’ll get dressed.” She attempted to sit up, and while successful, she looked as though she’d just got off the twister ride at the funfair. You shook your head, putting your hands on her arms and lightly pushed her back, raising your eyebrows in response to her playful glare.

“I spoke to Clint, he said he’ll catch you when he feels better. He didn’t feel up to dragging your passed out body off of the mats today.” She rolled her eyes.

“I’d be-” She sniffed, well, tried to, and looked around the room curiously before her eyes landed on the bowl beside her and then darted between it and your face.

“Did you-” She pointed towards the food “make Borscht?”

You looked down sheepishly.

“I tried. I remember you saying you used to eat it and I thought it might help. But if you don’t like it then-”

“I’m sure I will.” She reached over for the bowl, hand clasping the tea towel I slid underneath it so as not to burn her hands.

Settling with her soup, she blew on her spoon, cooling the substance before eating some. You watched anxiously, hoping you hadn’t messed up too bad, you’d only made it once before when she taught you the basics of it, so this was the first time you’d made it alone.

You exhaled a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding when you saw her smile, looking at you adoringly.

“I love it.” She rasped

“You do? Is it okay?”

“More than. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You smiled, making small talk here and there while she ate.

“Do you want me to set up a movie for you?”

“Sure.”

You walked over to retrieve her laptop, getting ‘Grown Up’s’ up on the screen. She’s recently been into Adam Sandler movies, it was a nice and easy movie to watch, it was really lighthearted. You nudged the laptop over to her, angling it so she could still see it properly when lying down. When you got up to leave, you felt a weak grip on your wrist, encouraging you to turn and meet those shimmering, slightly droopy, green eyes.

“Need anything Nat?”

“Can you stay? Please? I like your company.”

Your stomach suddenly became home to a zoo full of butterflies, as it often did when you spent time with Natasha. You’d both spent time together before obviously, but it was usually due to missions or as a group, only occasionally getting the chance for it to be just the two of you. So to have her openly request your company, it was heartwarming. Unbeknown to you, Natasha had the exact same feeling in her stomach, and it wasn’t because of the Borscht.

You gave her a nod, trying to hide the smile trying to force its way onto your face as you settled yourself down next to her, in the meantime missing the smile she was giving you, the kind where you smile with both your mouth and your eyes with a slight sparkle in them.

You looked up eventually, causing her to snap her head back towards the screen, a smile still clear as day on her face, only getting larger as you maneuvered your arm so it was behind her neck, allowing her to get closer, which she did. So close that you could feel her ragged breathing on your chest.

If you had to use one word to describe how you’re feeling right now?

It’d be warmth. The air may have been cold, the bowl left on the side will inevitably be the same. But all you can feel, is the warmth of the blankets spilling over the bed. The warmth from the laptop. The warmth radiating from the one who you admired so dearly beside you. And most vital of all, the warmth running through your entire body, making your heart feel full. If you had the chance, you’d bottle this feeling and treasure it forever.

__________________________

A week went by, and Natasha was almost fully recovered, just having to take her medicine and rest when she can, but she’s now able to walk around the compound more often. However, although she’s had this freedom returned, she doesn’t appear to long for it as much as she did a week ago.

When she woke up in the morning, she’d roll her eyes when you’d told her she couldn’t go and train, she had to stay in bed. Unimpressed with not being able to go about her day as usual, she’d try and convince you that you were being dramatic.

'I don’t need to stay in bed.'

'You're worrying over nothing!'

'Let me leave my bedroom.'

'I’m perfectly able to go and train.'

She wasn’t, and was soon proven wrong as she collapsed back on the bed with a cracking headache.

But now, after the last 7 days of eating with you, watching movies with you and just generally indulging in conversations until she fell asleep with you, she started to feel like she didn’t want to feel better, she wanted this time with you to last forever. If she didn’t have feelings for you before, she most definitely did now. Or more so that she recognised it more now. She couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Maybe it was the way you took the time to make her favourite foods, or maybe it was the way you always made sure to check in with her and how she was feeling. Although, it also could’ve easily been the way your eyes lit up at the funny scenes in a movie, similar to the way they did whenever you made eye contact with her.

“Nat? Earth to Nat?” Lost in her thoughts, Natasha blinked a couple of times to focus back on the girl in front of her, smiling as always.

“Sorry, daydreaming.” She chuckled, her face feeling warmer as a blush appeared on her cheeks.

“Don’t worry” You laughed. “I was just letting you know that I'm gonna go and get your Nyquil, it should help with the headache and sore throat.”

“Ah, so I'm getting the good stuff now?” She winked

“I think you deserve it, plus, you’ve blown through the last of the ibuprofen.” You gave her a playful glare, both of you knowing that you’d have to go and buy some more, but you didn’t mind, you’d have gone to all 50 states for it if you had to.

“What can I say? I’m sick” Pulling the puppy eyes, not being able to last a minute without bursting into a grin, which you responded with a dramatic faint for an exit out of the room, leaving to go and get the Nyquil.

Getting her to take it was easy enough, dealing with a sleepy Nat, not so easy.

“Y/NNNN”

“Yes?”

“I don’t like this movie.” She grumbled, pushing her face further into the pillow as her sign of protest.

“What’s wrong with this one?”

“It’s stupid.”

“You love this movie!”

“No.”

“Right, what would you like instead?” You asked, already clicking out of the movie to go and pick another one for the fourth time.

“I don’t wanna watch anything anymore.”

“Okay. I’ll turn it off then. Still want me to stay?”

“Please”

“Alright.”

You shut down the laptop, putting it to the side and lay down next to the redhead who was trying to fight sleep. You reached forward to put some hair that was in her face, behind her ear, trying to ensure she was comfortable. It must’ve worked because before you could pull your hand away, her face nuzzled into your palm, eyebrows easing from their furrow.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” She whispered so quietly that if there was any other noise in the room, there’s no chance you would’ve heard it.

“It’s my pleasure Nat.”

She opened her eyes fully now, instantly meeting yours, they were cloudy with sleep. There was a comforting silence surrounding the both of you, neither one of you daring to break eye contact, I hadn’t taken any medicine yet I was still falling asleep with how peaceful it was. I woke up more when she started to murmur again, this time, it was incoherent.

“What was that?”

“I like you.”

“I like you too, Nat.” You smiled warmly

“Noo, as in, I like you.”

You could’ve sworn you felt your heart stop. Is she actually- Is this- what?

“You’re just tired, love.” She shook her head

“m not that” Yawn “tired.”

“Tell you what, get some sleep and then tell me in the morning when the meds have worn off, okay?”

“m’kay. I will y’know”

“I believe you” You were hesitant with her words, unsure about whether this was a moment she’d forget tomorrow and it’s not her true feelings, or if it was true and the circumstances had just convinced you otherwise.

But, true to her word, the next morning when you woke up, still groggy from the sleep, she was laying there almost wide awake with a toothy grin.

“morn-“ And before you could finish your word, her lips were on yours. They felt like the perfect fit, moving against yours at a gentle pace, though still not enough to let you process what was actually going on.

“Morning” She pulled away.

“That enough confirmation for you?”

more than enough.

taglist: @the-dumbass-that-throws-knives

[infinitefandomimagines]

Things the hq boys secretly love pt. 2

WARNINGS: language

—

CHARACTERS: Oikawa Tooru, Kita Shinsuke, Tendou Satori, and Terushima Yuuji

—

part 1 , part 2

OIKAWA TOORU

• when you put makeup on him / use him as a canvas to practice looks.

• you would do it on yourself, but it's easier to follow along with the tutorials when doing it on someone else. plus it gives you an excuse to spend time with and be close to your boyfriend.

• oikawa will literally complain non-stop about how he doesn't want you prodding at his face with brushes and how all the products will make him break out. but the second you do a new look without practicing on him first he's offended.

• because no matter how much he claims to hate it, he secretly loves it. the brushes feel so soft and ticklish against his skin, and your touch is always so gentle and warm. plus, he's more than happy with the proximity between the two of you.

• as a comprise for letting you do this, you let him lay on his back on your shared bed (the lighting isn't great but at least he's comfy). you'll splay out your products around the empty bed space and then perch yourself on top of him, straddling his hips. you'll get super close to his face, bending down to hover over him, the palm of your non dominant hand pressed against his chest to steady yourself

• he's lowkey scared you'll feel how fast his heart is beating, but you never mention it.

• your face is mere inches away from his and he takes full advantage of this, stealing little kisses from you when you're least expecting it.

• also loves to rest his hands on your hips, playing with the hem of your shirt, finger tips lightly grazing the skin beneath.

• mf thinks its funny to poke your sides randomly to make you jump

• "tooru– keep doing that and i'll actually stab you in the eye."

• spoiler alert: he keeps doing it and you do end up stabbing him in the eye (accidently ofc)

• after you're done, he'll let you take as many photos of the look as you want. he even takes a few for himself because he's proud of your work and wants to show it off to iwa later.

• lowkey feeling himself

• if you thought this man's ego was big before hand...

• "i look pretty hot, don't i y/n–chan? i think blue is really my color."

—

KITA SHINSUKE

• when you take care of and baby him, especially if he's sick.

• he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself, and both of you know that. mf is literally one of the most responsible people ever.

• but something inside of him just … melts when you dote over him.

• this usually happens when you can tell he's had a long and tiring day, or on he rare occasion he gets sick.

• you'll cook for him, give him a little massage, cuddle him, help him bathe, do his chores, anything to alleviate some of the stress weighing on him.

• his favorite thing ever is when you let him lay his head in your lap. will fall asleep in five minutes flat when you start playing with his hair.

• literally the second he tries to do anything you're glaring at him with your arms crossed over your chest, telling him to get back to bed before he makes his fever any worse.

• he'll insist that he's fine and can make his own soup / do his own chore work but will cave so quickly when you don't give up.

• man barely puts up a fight anymore, just let's you do your thing and accepts his fate.

• almost like he wants to be taken care of … suspicious.

• kita is a pretty self sufficient person, but he has to admit, it just feels nice to have someone care for him so tenderly. it shows how much you care for him.

• he likes to act all put together and stoic but his insides are complete mush when it comes to you.

• won't admit how much he secretly loves it, but he's sure to let you know how appreciative he is of you taking care of him. will never let your efforts go unnoticed or without praise.

• (but maybe don't baby him in public, poor boy gets so flustered and embarrassed)

• and don't think for one second that when the roles are reversed, and you're the one who's sick or tired, that he's gonna let you lift a single finger.

—

TENDOU SATORI

• when you show him off in public or to your friends.

• the first time tendou met your friends was when you unexpectedly ran into them at a coffee shop while the two of you were on a date. you ran up and greeted them while tendou kept his distance, not sure if you'd want to introduce him.

• poor baby still has some insecurities left over from his childhood and thinks you wouldn't want to be seen with a "freak" or that somehow you'd be ashamed of dating him.

• baby boy could not be more wrong, you are so proud to be dating him.

• one second you're talking to your friends and the next you're dragging him over by his wrist to meet them.

• literally stands there like he's suddenly ushijima, just: 🧍‍♂️

• but then you lace your fingers with his and press and soft kiss to his cheek before you say, "guys this is who i was telling you about, my boyfriend, tendou!"

• now tendou has never been one to get flustered easily, but right now he's blushing like a madman. his heart swelling when you so eagerly introduced him as your boyfriend.

• and then your friends start saying things like "we've heard so many things about you" and "y/n talks about you a lot"

• he can feel his confidence growing by the second. even after your friends walk away, he's still riding the high of being bragged about.

• "you talk about me?"

• "duh, why wouldn't i? you're the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for, 'tori."

• he swears he falls in love all over again right then and there.

• please continue to show him off, it makes him so unbelievably happy, even more so when you're not afraid to use pda with him.

• i just know this man loves pda

• used to be really hesitate when it came to pda in the beginning of your relationship. but, once he saw how unbothered you were when it came to being affectionate in public he started to get bolder.

• he loves having his arm wrapped around your waist or his hand in your back pocket at all times.

• he's never told you, but you've helped him gain a lot of confidence and see himself as more than a "monster" or "freak."

—

TERUSHIMA YUUJI

• when you call or text him at 2am to go get food with you.

• it's become a common occurrence and at this point he expects to hear from you at least three nights out of the week. he's even started leaving his phone on full volume to make sure hears your call or text.

• will always respond.

• literally the second he gets that "you up? i'm hungry." text he's already grabbed his keys and is out the door.

• sometimes you feel guilty for waking him up, but he always says something like "i was awake anyways" or "i'm kinda hungry too, perfect timing."

• terushima yuuji was in fact neither awake nor hungry. 

• but he'll be damned if you ask someone else

• one time you went a week without asking him to go and mf got so butthurt. was all like: "babe are you cheating on me? are you asking other people to take you to get food? i thought you loved me." (doesn't actually think you're cheating, he just likes being dramatic).

• he loves blasting music while you both sing at the top of your lungs with the windows down on your little convince store trips.

• it's just a miniscule little moment but it's makes his heart happy every time.

• 2am chats with terushima yuuji are next level, you can't convince me otherwise.

• sometimes when the two of you are too riled up from your trip to go back to bed, you'll find a park to eat and mess around at.

• the cops may or may not have been called once for a noise complaint.

• after your little night trips he'll usually bring you back to his place and you'll end up staying the night, giving him cuddles as a sort of thank you.

• even though he teasingly complains about you dragging him out, claiming "you owe me." he loves going out with you and would never even dream of making you pay him back.

[bonny-kookoo]

Cat Eyes (JJK x Reader) ❤️☁️🔞🐾

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Hybrid!AU, Human!Jungkook, Hybrid!Reader, Fluff/romance, Strangers to lovers?, slight angst, smut

Warnings: discussion of homelessness and unfairness against hybrids, mild mention of past abuse, trust issues, Sweet Koo, smut because duh, lovemaking it’s so sweet yall, dirty talk but only minor, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, doggy style, mild biting, yeah that’s it this time wait for part two oh my

Summary: on the streets, cast out. Just another week for you, but somehow you wonder if this stranger might mean a change for you.

Or alternatively: Jungkook feeds you and you’re kinda grateful for that.

Its cold, but you've been preparing for that outcome for a long time already. Being born as a hybrid, a simple housecat at that, you had nothing special or rewarding about you, making you just a pet getting passed around from person to person as soon as you got too boring to keep around.

This was a regular thing for you. The fact that you got kicked out so many times already made you wary of actually possessing any belongings at all, not even owning a phone or clothes you could consider your own- merely the things you currently wore, drenched in the water that had been dribbling from the skies in rough speeds, hood over your head already useless at keeping your hair and ears dry. But it was okay. This was normal for you, after all.

Sitting down between two glowing vending machines located behind a small convenience store, you tried to warm yourself up with the small amount of heat radiating off of the two metal machines- not really being successful, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

It's been three weeks already like this, trying to find a place to catch some sleep before roaming the streets again, searching for food and sometimes even finding a bit of money on the street. You didn't have a collar, so you had to hide your hybrid features well- not like you'd like to show your dirty fur anytime soon anyways.

Yawning before turning a bit, shoes squeaking a bit with the amount of water inside them, you closed your eyes, mind focusing on the buzzing next to your head, trying to use it as a form of lullaby to soothe you into sleeping a bit. Yet you were disturbed by someone pressing the buttons and inserting money into the vending machine, the loud noises of the soda can banging against the metal interior loudly enough to make you press your ears flat against your skull. You hoped whoever was craving the beverage was a human or didn't pay attention to you; but again- you were out of luck.

"Huh?" Came the humming question of a male voice, and you instantly tensed up as a warm hand was placed on your wet shoulder. "Hey.. you okay?" The voice asked, and you imagined his Umbrella shielding him from the rain, the pitter patter of it on the plastic fabric an indication that he probably used one. You weren't an impressive predator like a Tiger or a Leopard, but you certainly could distinguish noises from one another to see things around you, even without using your eyes. "Can you hear me?" He asked gently, and you wanted to turn around, scoff in his face that yes, you did, you just chose not to. "Do you have an owner.?" Well, piss. Seems like hiding your features didn't do much as well.

You only turned a bit, hood catching on a pointed piece of metal from the vending machine, making it reveal one of your wet ears to him, as well as a piece of the side of your face. You only saw him with one eye, but you already knew he was on the far opposite of the food chain- expensive suit and sparkling rolex on his wrist, connected to the tattooed hand holding his black umbrella almost mocking you as he looked at you with pity. You spotted his ears, or more lack thereof, already wanting to cry at them; a human like him didn't know the things you were going through. That's probably why he'd asked if you were owned immediately, and you wanted to laugh. Yet your croaky voice didn't say these things. It only stated the obvious. "No." Because you really didn't- the official timespan was two weeks, after that, a formerly owned hybrid was officially considered a stray if it went missing. You didn't belong to anyone other than the state itself- which was why you had to hide so well, to not get thrown into an adoption center again.

The stranger furrowed his brows a bit, before leaving. Well, at least he took the hint, you thought, before he came back again, placing a white bag with some plastic items down in front of you, before putting his umbrella over your head, the rain suddenly stopping from falling down on you. You looked downwards, at the plastic container- sushi? Dumplings? And another one that steamed a bit- rice? You didn't get it, but still turned around a bit, watching him warily as if you were waiting for him to yell sike and run away. Yet he didn't, simply scooting a bit closer to not get the rain onto his head, and waiting. The sound of cars passing by and some music being played somewhere was the only noise surrounding you for a bit, before you hesitantly reached out for the containers, always keeping an eye on him. He simply smiled when you started to unpack the plastic foil of the cheap chopsticks, digging into the hot rice as if it was a five star meal. You could practically feel it warming up your belly, making you suppress a sigh as you got lost in consuming the food he'd bought.

Only once you were finished, not being able to eat everything, did he actually move. He grabbed some of the leftovers, eating them until he took the boxes and put them into the trash nearby. You looked at him with a questioning gaze. Would he want anything from you now? You didn't trust his angelic features at all if you were being honest. "You're probably not gonna want to come home with me and thats fine." He said, before looking at you. "I'll leave the umbrella here, alright? Lets hope the rain stops soon." He mumbled, getting up, making you look up to him as he slowly turned around, giving you a small wave. "Goodnight. Stay safe." He simply said, before jogging to his car.

Huh. What a weird guy.

Jeon Jungkook was his name as he'd introduced himself on the second day of visiting you behind the convenience store, and he was indeed a weird human. He made it a simple casualty- visiting you every day after work with food, having full conversations with you, and asking about your day and life in general. He himself noticed a slight spark returning to your eyes, interest peaking in those orbs as you talked to him more and more. You were a quiet girl, not really giving away much about you, but managing to make him feel like he knew you. You were smart, and he liked that. After almost a week of daily conversations, he finally popped the question.

"Do you want to come home with me?" He asked, making you look up from your can of soup he'd bought you this time. You thought for a bit before shrugging. At this point he'd invested so much into feeding you that it felt like you had to- simply as a form of repayment. He smiled, before leaning his head a bit to the side, voice low and serious. "You don't have to. I'm simply offering." He said, and you put down the empty can, nodding.

"Alright." You said, and he grinned, standing up and putting the trash away before closing the umbrella still hanging over the vending machines, turning around. His eyes widened a bit at just how short you were, yet he found it endearing. He led you to his car, not caring that his cream colored interior could be stained with your admittedly dirty clothing and shoes. He'd pay someone to clean it the next day, and all would be fine.

"So uhm.." You began, unsure what would happen now. "What am I supposed to do when we get to your place?" You asked, and after a moment of realization, his ears turned red.

"No no no, I'm, oh my.." He cleared his throat for a moment, before he threw one leg over the other, as to make himself seem more sure of himself than he actually was. "I'm not that kind of person." He explains calmly, as he waves his hand to the driver, who nodded, before the window to the front closes, giving you two some privacy. "I simply saw you there and.. I don't know. I couldn't just leave you there." He said, and you nodded.

"So it's for your repuptation." You said. "I guess you're an investor then?" You knew people like him. Their initial thought was nice, but at the end of the day it was only for personal gain. Well, at least he'd keep you around for some months before the public would slowly forget about you again. You've been through that as a young kitten.

But he shook his head. "I am an investor, yeah- but I don't plan on showing you to the public eye. I don't want anything of you other than your company." You opened your mouth again, but he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose for a second. "Not like that." He began. "My apartment is.. big. Huge. But it's also empty. A friend of mine had told me I should get a hybrid, and I genuinely considered. I was actually at a shelter the day we first met." He explained, and you nodded. "I didn't find anyone I was.. okay with, I guess. I can't just let anyone into my life, you know. Most people only want something, just to leave right after. When I saw you, yeah, at first it was pure pity, I won't lie." You nodded, watching him. "But the more we talked, the more I realized how compatible we were." Well, this was new. "I won't be home much, because I work a lot, but I don't like being lonely." He turns to you, serious. "If you're comfortable with it, I'd like you to simply be a companion. Someone who shares my home with me, accompanies me to those absolutely boring dinners I have to endure every week or so, and who sometimes maybe comes to work with me. If you simply want to stay home however, that's fine as well." He says, and you nod.

"Can I.. think about it?" You ask, and he nods, a gentle smile adoring his lips. The rest of the ride is filled with comfortable silence, and you almost drift off to sleep, but you arrive at his apartment complex before you can fully float away. There's nothing said between the two of you as he leads you inside the hallway of the building, a hand on the small of your back as if to make sure you won't get lost, his figure always close to shield you from wary eyes of the security and other residents walking by. Inside the elevator, silence is still present, until someone joins you two; a tall man, a little older than your now soon-to-be Master, who looks at you, and then at your Master.

"Ah, so you have finally found someone for you? I'm happy for you Jungkook." He says,a smile on his lips. "My name is Kim Seokjin my dear, may I ask yours?" He speaks, and you look at Jungkook close to you as if you were expecting him to answer for you- like it was typical. But he only smiled as well, nodding towards you in encouragement, so you, quietly, answered with a small bow of your head. "Ah, a shy one isn't she? But very pretty, I have to say." He said, and Jungkook chuckled as if to accompany that statement. "Ah, well. Please think about the company dinner next saturday, and oh!" Seokjin said as he left the elevator, hand holding the elevator door open for a moment as he looked at you one last time. "Bring her along, yeah? I heard that Jimin is bringing Yoongi as well. A good chance for her to make friends.!" He said, before winking, and waving goodbye- leaving you and Jungkook inside the elevator to climb a few more levels higher.

"Don't feel pressured now, please." Jungkook said, as the elevator chimed, the two of you stepping out as he walked past you to open his apartment door. "You don't have to if its too soon." He said, before opening his door.

He didn't lie when he said his apartment was big, but you never truly saw a skyline like that. It was a breathtaking view outside the windows, and it took a moment until you could finally avert your eyes to scan the rest. It felt.. almost sterile, in a way. Nothing truly screamed his name at you, neither the furniture, nor wall decorations. A few pictures were hung up, but other than that, the apartment looked like it got pulled straight out of an interior design magazine. "It's pretty bland, isn't it?" He lowly said, as he turned on some of the lights, hanging up his coat on the hanger next to the door as he untied his shoes. "I know it does. I.. hope that'll change, maybe." He said, before he made his way into the open kitchen. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? I can just show you your room and leave you be as well, yeah, that would probably be a good idea. Let me show you." He said, and you followed him after taking your own shoes off as well.

It was a rare occurence to have a room for yourself- so much so, that you only remember having one as a kitten, when it had been necessary. Stepping inside, you noticed the crisp air; he'd opened the window to air it out, it seemed. There was a bed in the corner, a wardrobe and a mirror- as well as a door that connected to a bathroom, right now void of light. "I'll leave you be for now. There are some of my old clothes so you have something to sleep in- don't worry, I washed them so you won't get my scent on you just yet, I know it makes hybrids a bit fussy." He chuckled, and nodded towards you with a smile. "If you want to, you can come out, if you don't stay inside, I won't be mad. I'll have the day off tomorrow and after, so we should use that time to get you some clothes if you want." He suggested, and you nodded into his direction. He bowed a bit, before leaving the room, and you alone.

You waited a bit so his footsteps got out of reach, before you walked around a bit. The room was bigger than the one you had as a kitten, but still small enough to be considered a guest room. Your first goal however, was the bathroom. Grabbing the clothes he had left you, you noticed immediately that it had been washed with hybrid proof detergent- a brand called 'noscent' which was typically used for newly homed hybrids so they wouldn't get overwhelmed. How he knew of that was unclear to you, but maybe he did have a hybrid before, or a friend told him. It didn't matter though, because you knew this was timed. Better make the most out of it. So as you climbed into the bathtub, soapy scent around you as you washed yourself squeaky clean, you felt okay again. Now was the time to mend yourself together, figure out what your master liked so you could make your stay as comfortable for everyone involved as possible, and just enjoy the good sides while rushing the bad.

But somehow there was a weird feeling in your gut.

Maybe things were really about to change this time.

The next morning was calm. Apart from something clattering in the kitchen, you awoke by yourself, shocked to see it almost being twelve. Why had he not woken you up, when he so clearly implied yesterday that he had plans with you today? For a moment you wondered if maybe this had been a test, but judging by his whistling in the kitchen, he was in a good attitude still.

So you went for it.

Simply brushing your hair and tail, you stepped out the room, smell of food immediately meeting your nose. "I was about to wake you." He said without turning, as he grabbed another bowl to fill. "I figured I'd let you sleep after all that change so you could rest well. Good morning." He said, finally turning around, making you gasp internally a bit.

You knew that his hand was tattooed, but what now showed was his entire forearm covered in ink. Completely different from yesterday, he wore a simple grey sweater and sweatpants combo, hair in a messy tiny ponytail on his head. He looked so.. young, yet masculine, not at all like the businessman you had encountered before. But it was a nice change; because if he let you see himself like this, he really was intending to have you around for longer, and was working towards a more personal companionship. Maybe he really did want you as a companion for himself, not his outside persona.

You sat down at the table before stopping immediately, eyes widening. He seemed to notice this however, chuckling as he placed a warm hand on your shoulder, helping you on the chair properly. "You can sit at the table with me, don't worry. Please move around freely; my home is as much mine as it is yours now, okay?" He said, and you nodded. "Thank you." He said, and you watched him for a moment, before you started to eat.

"How.." You started, and he wiped his lips with a tissue before looking at you, attention now on your words. You were grateful for that small gesture. "How do you know that much about hybrids?" You asked, and he smiled.

"Yesterday, Jin-hyung said something about Yoongi, you remember?" You nodded, a bit eagerly, since you were used to remember things that your master said all the time. "Good girl." He said, and it made your skin tingle a bit, as he cleared his throat, a bit shy after letting that slip. "He uhm, Yoongi-hyung is a cat-hybrid as well. His owner is Jimin, who's my coworker. Yoongi was a rescue a few years back, who I asked a bit about what to do if I take someone in who.. you know, wasn't from a shelter. He told me a few things." He explained, and you nodded.

"Why are you calling him Yoongi-hyung though, if he's a hybrid?" You asked, before taking another spoonful. You liked warm food. It made your belly warm.

"Ah." He mused, as he finished his plate, leaning back. "I'm not really following the whole foodchain-order stuff, to be honest. Yoongi-hyung is older than me, my hyung, so that's that. Oh, that reminds me, how old are you?" He asked, and you answered.

"I think.. 22?" You said, and he seemed a bit sad. Did you say something wrong? Did he want someone younger? Someone older?

"Ah, sorry.. but, you think?" He said. "So.. you haven't celebrated your birthday, at all?" He asked, and you shook your head. "Ah thats no good. We'll celebrate it this year, promise!" He said. "You're a bit younger than me, by the way. I'm 25." He said, and you nodded, saving that information inside your brain for future reference. "If you're done we can either go shopping, or if you don't want to, we can shop online. We should do that now though, otherwise you'll have to wait too long for delivery and stuff." He said, and you nodded.

"Do you have a collar for me then?" You asked, and Jungkook grabbed your empty plate to put away. A collar wasn't something he could just not give you- he knew from Yoongi that it wasn't demeaning in any way. Wearing a collar was a form of comfort, it wasn't just an accessory, it was a physical evidence that you were claimed and safe.

"Yoongi gave me one of his older ones, but we can buy a proper one you like today." He said, and dried his hands on a dish towel as he looked at you. "Go and get your shoes, I'll give you one of my coats to wear, and then we can go, yeah?"

Shopping was always a hard one to crack.

This was when you would somehow have to figure out by simply picking the opossum on the road to know if its dead or not- in a sense of; simply point, and wait for the blow. With Jungkook however, there never was one, and it confused you how calm and somehow even happy he was. For example, when you pointed at a pretty expensive collar that wasn't your style just to see how he'd react, you didn't know how to react when he smiled. "Ah, let's look for something more delicate, yeah? The price doesn't bother me, but I doubt that heavy chains suit you kitten." He had simply said, and somehow, the petname made your ears turn towards him, making a nearby bunny hybrid and her owner chuckle.

He'd somehow managed to wiggle under your skin in just a day.

Because somehow, every time he looked at you, helped you reach something, or talked to you about what you liked, it felt so genuine. It felt like he really cared.

"Okay, how about.. oh, this one!" He said, pointing at a collar hidden behind glass- one covered in velvet, with a pretty pattern and a silver plate on the front where your name would be. It was expensive; absolutely mind blowing however, but what made your eyes glisten were his words. "There's a jeweler next door, so we can have your name and ID, as well as my emergency information stamped in." Because, until now, you only had the one's where you slide a paper with all needed info underneath a clear cover- it was easier to replace or give back. But, getting it stamped onto such an expensive collar was definitely something that would last- well, forever. "Or- wait, hey hey, whats wrong? If you don't like it we can buy a different one-"

"I love it." You said, and he led you away from all noise, into a more secluded part of the shop, where he squatted down to properly look at you. "I just.. I..it's..-" You began, and somehow he understood, and had this absolutely frustrating smile again, as he helped you wipe your tears a bit less harshly than you did yourself.

"I haven't said it clear enough yet, haven't I?" He asks, voice warm. "I plan on forever, not just for the moment. What I said when you first came into my apartment was directed at you. I hope you'll make my home feel like a home one day. How can I think about giving you away, when I just got you?" He questions, and you shrug. "I know trust isn't something you give away easily, and thats completely fine. I can also Imagine that you're not too sure of things right now, considering where you came from. But I promise you, I really do-" He says, and takes your hands in his. "I'll stay by your side for as long as you let me." He finishes, and you nod after a moment. "Alright? Alright!" He says, and takes your hand to buy the collar, your eyes still sparkling when you later on watch the lady at the jeweler stamp in your name- and his at the bottom.

Maybe this really was permanent.

At the dinner table with all his colleagues, and the infamous cat hybrid Yoongi next to you, you felt less awkward than you thought you would. Yoongi was a huge help, his calm demeanor helping you to stay composed as well, even under the watchful eyes of the rest of the people. Seokjin had been sweet as well, immediately making you feel welcomed. Jungkook never let you out of his sight, and it made you feel save as well.

It felt good.

Yoongi and you conversed here and there, and occasionally, Jungkook or Jimin, Yoongis owner would chime in, which made it feel as if you were always a part of this. You started to smile a bit, converse more openly, all until a waitress came and turned everything upside down.

"Would you like us to escort the pets to a different table, sir?" She asked Seokjin, who you had learned owned the company Jungkook and his coworkers worked for. He cleared his throat, and shook his head; almost an apologetic look in his eyes as he looked at Yoongi, you, and Taehyung- an independent Tiger-Hybrid with working license, he'd told you. He seemed to clench his teeth as to stay quiet, as the waitress left, leaving an uncomfortable silence behind.

"I'm sorry, please continue." Seokjin said, but the reminder of your status made everyone a bit.. uneasy the rest of the night.

"I'm sorry about the waitress, by the way." Jungkook said, as he helped you into your coat, when everyone was leaving. You shook your head, but he held his unsure expression. "No, I really am. It was uncalled for, and I'm genuinely upset that she phrased it like that." He explained, and you smiled.

"It's okay, Master." You said, which made Yoongis and Taehyungs ears shoot towards your direction, as if on instinct. They didn't look, no, they were discreet. But they still wanted to know what would happen next. "She probably didn't know- after all, it's still quite uncommon to keep hybrids as equal partners nowadays. Change comes slow." You said, but Jungkook suddenly seemed even more serious as he placed his hands on your shoulders, as you looked up at him.

"Jungkook." He said, and you leaned your head to the side in question. "Please, don't.. please just call me Jungkook." He explained, and you nodded, unsure why he was so upset by this. He sighed, before he traced your metal nameplate with his thumb for a fracture of a second, smiling again. "Let's go home." He said, and you nodded, walking after him as he lead the way, not noticing the way that Yoongi and Taehyung shared knowing glances at each other.

When Jungkook came home, he didn't know what exactly made him realize at first. Maybe it was the way your shoes were placed where there used to be none, or how the clothing hangers held your coats and scarfs as well now. Maybe it was the scent, or the rug that was placed on the lightwood laminated floor because your feet were always cold- or maybe it was your body on his couch, covered by a thick blanket he'd bought you recently when the winter became colder. No, it wasn't that- it was what came next. Your ears which flicked into his direction from their place ontop of your head, and the words you uttered next. "Welcome home Kookie!" You said, and he smiled.

He simply walked over to the couch, letting himself lean ontop of you as he squeezed himself behind your body on the couch, holding you securely to his chest as you turned around to face him. He looked tired, but happy and you took in his scent, so distinctive you could probably tell his from a million others just after a second. He sighed, before he ran a hand over your back, cold palm warming up slowly. You were both unsure what exactly you two were- but it was clear that this wasn't just an owner-hybrid companionship anymore. No, the way Jungkook looked at you had something in it that you knew only lovers had; which made you feel so comfortable around him, after all.

So it was only natural, in a way, that after a moment or two, or maybe more (you didn't really notice anymore), you two found each other in his bedroom, a place you had spent your nights before as well. But this time there was no sleeping involved, at least not in that moment, as his hands roamed around, lips chasing yours as you mewled underneath him needily. He wished he could record it, but even if he did it would never sound as sweet as it did right now. Everything felt so good he didn't even care about his own noises, as you two began to shed your clothes one piece after another, until there was nothing to cover you anymore.

"You're so sweet, you know that?" He hummed against your neck, as you squirmed underneath his hands, his inked fingers wandering down between your legs, were you were aching for his touch to make you fall apart. "Even right now, with my fucking hand between your legs, you look so cute." He chuckled, while you could only rut into his palm like a touch-starved pet. He was teasing, and in a way you hated it, but somehow you couldn't tell him to hurry. No, you didn't want him to hurry at all, because you were at the point of realization;

"I love you, Koo." You said, and he stopped for a moment, some seconds that made you feel absolutely humiliated, before he groaned, pushing your legs against your stomach.

"You can't drop something like that onto me like this, Kitten." He scolded playfully, with no harm intended. No, he simply took hold of his already leaking length to guide himself into you, making you squeal in delight before you sighed out. "I love you too, I adore you so much, I swear to everything I have.." He said, as he began to move, almost as if he was unable to quite control himself. Technically, you were the one to act like an animal; but instead, it was him nipping at your skin, and growling out curses that sounded way too filthy to be uttered out from those lips.

You loved it.

The way he held you, played you like a well tuned instrument, how he sped up his pace without warning because he knew you could take it. You were his good kitten after all, all his, and he knew you would be good. You were lost in your own little cloud as his hand went between your bodies again, fingers suddenly flicking your nub in a sadistic movement that had you scream without sound- pleasure shooting through your veins so violently you were unsure if it was pain or heaven that you felt.

"Ah- Koo- I-" You pressed out, but he simply moved his hand away, never stopping however. "I can't-" You said, but he pulled out before you could finish, flipping you onto your stomach where he pulled your lower body upwards, entering you again as he teasingly stroked your tail which flopped down to one side to make space and give him a clear view of where you were connected so intimately.

"You can, kitten. And you will." He growled out, noticing how you were slowly clenching again. "I can feel you, greedy kitty." He growled out, pace growing harsher and harsher as the sound of skin against skin got louder and louder. "Come on. Give me one more, yeah?" He said, and you were unable to answer him. "Come on- come on, there we go-" He pressed out, a whining sound leaving his lips as well as he grew more sloppy, more desperate as you came again, your clenching core pushing him over the edge as well as he spilled inside you, before he pulled out, watching almost hypnotized how his cum dripped out of you after a moment.

"I love you." He said, uncaring of how you two probably stained the sheets right now. "I really do." He said, whispered like a promise, as he pulled your body against him, palms still kneading your breasts.

Because if you thought he was done with you, you were very wrong.

I apologize for how short it was, but I only have my phone for now. Sorry if this sucks, it's not my best work, but I didn't want to leave you hanging and without content for this long.. :< Love, Bunny <3

[saturnsummer]

flutter and kicks

notes: from lay's @/__ryubeom tweet + a pregnant solhwi anon ask. in headcanon form since it's more spontaneous! 

hello tumblr fam! i know, it’s been long... but ficfest and all has kept me kinda busy. a little different this time! a headcanon after a long time, since it’s more fun and easy on the eyes!

extra notes: drumstick reference to hospital playlist episode 4! a little reference to @scripturiends twitter au “dynasty” at the end. have fun! as usual, grammar mistakes by me!

attorney sol and prosecutor joon hwi have been married for a couple years, now well into their early thirties.

sol and joon hwi always take walks in the parks and wondered what it would be like if they had their own.

sol was initially hesitant, with her experience of broken families and having no dad figure. what makes her think her child could grow up in a loving family, if she didn't have one she could be a role model or look up to?

but joon hwi had it worse, having been an orphan from young, and raised by his uncle, his cousins, aunts and relatives ostracising him. yet, he still believed in the happy family he always wanted with sol.

he dreamt of kissing his kids good morning, sending them to school before going to work and sending his wife to work. on nights, they would work on their kid's homework together in fun ways and tuck them in bed after bedtime stories. they would spend the weekends at parks, meeting with seungjae's kid, and the children of their friends.

sol came round eventually, seeing how joon hwi never stopped believing. this time, it was different. joon hwi is not her father, nor is he her step father. he is han joon hwi, the man that saved her lives multiple times. han joon hwi, the man that stood by her when lee man ho was her biggest threat to her family. han joon hwi, the man who loves her, despite being a klutz in school.

he is han joon hwi, the man that loves her for every imperfection and perfection she has.

sol and joon hwi start trying for a baby, which is especially timely when kang sol's mom asks when is she gonna have a grandchild to hold and byeol pipes up saying she would love to have a brother as opposed to sister. (15 years with sisters have made her wonder what it would be to have a little baby boy in the house instead.)

a few weeks after their first time trying passes and sol has been feeling more tired. she's been busy with case after case at kang and park, so she doesn't think much.

only when she misses her period, she freezes. as stressed as she was, even in law school, she has never missed her period or was late. with shaky breaths, she wonders at the slightest chance of having a little life grow in her, as her hand unconsciously travels to her stomach.

sol is excited, but nervous at the thought that maybe nine to ten months later, she would have a child she can call her own in her arms.

over the weekend, sol raised this to joon hwi. joon hwi stops everything and even though he is beyond excited, he stays calm looking at how nervous sol is. together, they go out to get two pregnancy tests, where sol takes it.

the ten minutes of waiting were a complete torture for sol, as she paces back and forth.

"sol, stop pacing. you're going to burn a hole in our floor."

"joon! what- what if it really happens? i'm not ready! how are we ready? you just started your career in the prosecutor office, and i'm buried under cases! i can barely take care of my mom and byeol and myself, what about the child? oh no, what if i'm a bad mom?"

"honey, sit down. look, we'll get through this together okay? no one is ever ready for their first kid. remember seungjae-hyung? he freaked out the day juyeon-noona went into labour and he's a doctor! it's okay, just calm down, alright? do you want warm water?"

when the timer rings, they look at both the tests, showing the double lines indicating a positive test.

sol was pregnant. sol was going to be a mother. joon hwi was going to be a father. their family was starting.

shaking, sol finally let her emotions hit as her tears fall. she was so caught up worrying about herself, life, her work, family; she hadn't had time to process her own feelings on her own. she wanted the feeling of joy of holding her child. she wanted to know what it was like to share a mother's bond with a child.

joon hwi, looking at his wife, only hugged her as she teared up in happiness. his dream of having a family is finally coming. even better, his best friend, his biggest cheerleader, was next to him.

"what are you crying about? you should be happy!"

"j-joon h-hwi ah... we're going to be parents.."

but their journey was far from over. they booked an appointment with juyeon and made juyeon stay quiet about this. seeing the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeats of their unborn child was enough to move sol to another round of sobs and joon hwi held his wife's hand while the tears ran down his face. together, they smiled, knowing that a life was born and growing.

all could have been hidden, but seungjae walked in that moment, asking if his wife wanted to join for lunch. sol and joon hwi were prepared to lie, but having a printed ultrasound scan in their hands, and the fact that they were in juyeon's clinic, a OB-GYN clinic, confirmed suspicions.

"juyeonnie, do you want to go for— joon...hwi?"

"oppa..."

"ah, congratulations sol. congratulations joon hwi." seungjae only smiled looking at the best people he knew become parents. he recognised the pride in joonhwi's eyes, the same eyes he had when juyeon told him they were expecting.

the new parents smiled at their brotherly figure as they wished them a good lunch.

but out from the corner, yeseul spotted joonhwi and sol as she walked into the clinic and she locked eyes with sol. sol slams the door shut and drags joon hwi back and groans, letting a defeated whine.

"sol-ah, what's wrong?"

"yeseul is here! she's probably here for a regular check up, the one she told me about last month!"

and with that, their phones started beeping with countless notifications.

yeseul could put two and two together, especially when it wasn't just sol, but joon hwi in the clinic as well. she texted her boyfriend, bokgi, who spat out his soup when he was eating with yebeom, who sent a string of messages to the group chat.

when sol opens the door again, yeseul only gives a sheepish smile.

"yeseul ah..." sol sighs and joon hwi only smiles, too happy to hide this secret.

"sorry unnie, i can't miss the moment. congrats unnie, oppa! hello, seungjae-oppa, juyeon-unnie!"

"thank you, yeseul. we'll see you next week, as usual?"

behind them, seungjae grumpily argues with his wife.

"why are my ex-classmates seeing you more than i do? i literally work, like, five blocks down at the police station! they live all over seoul!"

"honey, let me see yeseul first, okay? then let's go get lunch. i heard they are serving drumsticks in the canteen today.”

-----

pregnancy wasn't easy for sol. she insisted on working, despite attorney park's orders to take on lesser cases in court. sol couldn't find it in her heart to reject her clients.

yeseul, working closer to sol, would lunch with her to make sure she eats for the sake of her baby. joon hwi did his best to join, despite sol's arguments to not bother and that she can care for herself.

her morning sickness was bad, and she would wake up giddy and nauseous. many times, joon hwi wanted to call jiho to ask him to cover him, but sol would not let him do it. she'll pull herself together and go to work, and promise to take work lightly.

on days she couldn't get out of bed and she was too tired, her mother would come over and cook her nutritious soups, stock their fridge with vitamins and supplements and tonics for sol.

sol's cravings were also odd. she was never one to like sweets, but she found herself craving sugary cakes, cookies and pastries. joon hwi made it a point to stock their cabinets with cookies and buy a cake whenever he could for his wife.

joon hwi was honestly the best husband anyone could ask for. he helped to tidy the house, clean the house while sol was resting. he made soups and tucked sol in bed on her down days.

sol felt bad that she was being cared for and doing nothing in return, but joon hwi would always remind her that she was already doing the most important job, which is to literally grow their kid inside her.

many nights before bed, they would sit together and their hands would rest on her stomach, as they whisper sweet things to their to-be child.

when sol first felt the kick of her child with joon, they smiled so wide, all exhaustion from reports and arguments in their offices were gone. all that mattered was their child responding.

yeseul was beyond excited, as she helped sol with getting furniture and clothes. the study group came together to help them set up a new cot in their small apartment, as the ladies sat while looking at the men, fixing a cot with much difficulty.

aunty yeseul was the first to buy a stuffed bunny for her unborn child, and sol b, even though she was usually cold, offered to babysit in the future.

eventually, attorney park made sol work at home instead of going to the office. she argued that professor kim eunsook was able to teach while pregnant, but attorney park only said "yang jonghoon's orders" and it was enough to shut her up from any complaints.

of course, professor yang. the only person attorney park really is afraid of and listens to.

when they found out that sol was having a boy, joon hwi was lost in thoughts, wondering if he will grow to be like himself. but sol only placed a hand over his and gave a comforting smile.

"remember what you said at the beginning? whatever it is, he will be of the next generation. from him, it will be different."

they then would discuss how they wanted joon hwi's dimples, sol's twinkling eyes and cheekbones and joon hwi's charming smile.

closer to the due date, jiho stepped in to cover for joon hwi as he started to work half days, afraid of leaving his wife at home. sol, now heavily pregnant, really only commuted to the bed from the bathroom and then to the table, where she would spend most of her time reading or doing something relaxing.

yeseul made sol put her on speed dial with sol b, just in case, and so they would be the first to know too.

the morning came when sol woke up to a wet bed and shook joon hwi awake when the contractions kicked in. joon hwi snapped out, grabbed their hospital bag and guided sol to the car where both of them spent the next day in the hospital as sol went through nine hours of labour pains, and another two hours pushing her baby boy.

joon hwi never left once, standing by her side and holding her hand as she pushed her baby out, wiping away the sweat from her face.

when the time came for him to be held in his mother's arms, sol only smiled, knowing that as tough as the past ten months of working, no caffeine and staying up late nights was, it was all worth it for the little life in her arms.

as his son's hand grabbed onto joon hwi's finger, joon hwi made a promise to love this child unconditionally, to guide him in the right direction and bring him up well. sol was right. from him onwards, it will be different.

welcome to the world, seungjun.

[uwuwriting]

Bad day for the pros w/ Bakugou, Shinsou and Todoroki

Request: May I ask for some headcanons of pro hero Bakugou, pro hero Shinso and pro hero Shoto, they had a very very bad day at work, some heavy stuff happened and it was their fault, but fear not! y/n is here to save the day with love, good cooking and cuddles to be their hero. (Fem reader if possible)- anonymous 

I haven’t written for Shinsou in a while, same goes for Bakugou. Shoto is baby, I can never go for too long without writing for him. My midterms are coming up so I won’t be posting next week at all, I’m stressed and depressed and whenever I think that in June I’ll be taking my university entrance exams I wanna wretch. So yeah life is going great. Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules 

warnings: tired babies, fluff, some angst, self doubt.

Bakugou Katsuki

-People really have no chill and poor baby is barely keeping it together. 

-He’s minutes away from committing mass murder and man slaughter.

-It’s common knowledge that he has no patience whatsoever and people today seemed to be testing his control. 

-But alas finally this awful day was over and he could go back to your shared apartment and relax, eat something and sleep. 

-Stepping into the apartment he dropped his duffel bag with a loud thud letting out a sigh as he slowly peeled off his jacket and slipped into his slippers. 

- “Katsu?”

-Your sweet voice rang through the halls, your head peeking out from the corner eyes landing on his slumped shoulders and tense features.

-Wordlessly you gently grabbed his hand and guided him into your bedroom. 

-Passing him a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie you pushed him into the bathroom where the tub was already filled with steaming hot water. 

- “Dinner is almost ready, take your bath and I’ll be waiting.” 

-Giving him one last kiss on the lips you exited the bathroom. 

-Almost 20 minutes later he came into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around your waist as you stirred the soup. 

- “Bad day baby?” 

-He only answered with a grunt as he buried his face in the crook of your neck nuzzling his nose in your hair. 

-Mumbling something under his breath you let out a chuckle as you gave him a plate and guided him to the living room couch. 

-Settling down next to him you kissed him again before digging in. 

-Soon enough you were cuddling on the couch, his head on your chest and your hands intertwined. 

-You’re running your fingers through his spiky hair, smoothing down the knots as he goes on and on about his awful day. 

-People really were pushing his buttons today.

- “You wanna go to bed then?”

- “But it’s early for you.”

-Shrugging you got up taking him with you. 

-Once in bed you cuddled again with you being the big spoon since your mans needs some well deserved comfort.

-“No matter how bad your day is I’ll always be here for you.” 

- “I know shitty woman.”

- “Awww I love you too.” 

Shinsou Hitoshi

-He was tired of people doubting his motives. 

-Really it was getting old.

-The mocking and the lingering fear even after five years in the hero industry. 

-His agency had booked another meet and greet so they could do some damage control with the hate Hitoshi was getting and of course he couldn’t bring you along. 

-He was kinda jealous of your day off. 

-Jealous because he wished he could spend time with you and Mochi rather than deal with random strangers changing sidewalks during his patrol. 

-He was exhausted as he stepped into your shared apartment that night, Mochi sprawled on the hallway carpet waiting for his other owner. 

-Awaiting for his belly rubs with open paws, Mochi ignored the dark aura his master was emanating , or he just chose to ignore it. 

- “Didn’t Y/N give you belly rubs? I bet you have been taking my place all day mister.” 

- “You know he can’t replace you, love.” 

-He looked up only to be met with your dazzling smile and bright eyes although he could see the faint signs of sleepiness clinging to your eyelids.

-He could feel your eyes inspecting him and soon enough he would be kissed and pushed towards the bathroom for a much needed shower because you would see how tired and drained he was. 

-He could never get away. 

-It was a power you had since high school and try as he might he could never hide his fatigue. 

-Before he knew it he was up on his feet, capture tool placed on the hanger near the door and slippers on his feet, a kiss on each cheek and one lingering one on the lips. 

-Soon he was soaking in the tub with you behind him massaging his scalp with that special lavender shampoo while humming a soft tune. 

-It always amazed him how you could calm him without using words and if he was being honest he wanted to keep it that way, the silence was always nice and he loved basking in your presence but today he really needed to be reassured. 

- “Why do you stay with me?” 

-Your movements stilled at his words and he could feel your eyes widening. 

- “It’s bad publicity for you, you’ve been held back on hero ratings because people believe that you are conspiring with me in some master plan.” he sighed before continuing leaving you no space to speak. “You could have anyone you want. It would make your life 100 times easier if I wasn’t in it.” 

-You would have never guessed that those thoughts were running through his head when he walked through the door moments earlier. 

-Hugging him closely to your chest you finally spoke. 

- “I fell in love with you and you alone. I would never leave you because some pompous asshats keep saying that you are a villain. Hero rankings can go suck it for all I care along with anyone who wants to call you a monster.” Turning around so now you were straddling his lap you cupped his cheeks connecting your foreheads. “I love you with all my heart ‘Toshi, don’t ever forget it.” 

-You might be a witch putting him under a spell with your sweet words.

-He believed you and with that he relaxed in your grip, hugging you like his life depended on it because in his eyes, it did. 

Todoroki Shoto

-He couldn’t even count how many times he was told he looked like his father today. 

-He couldn’t begin to describe how gut wrenching those comments were.

-One would believe that being compared to the retired n.1 would be a big fit for an upcoming hero but not for Shoto. 

-The first thought that always runs through his head when those words are heard is his mother. 

-The fear in her eyes and how much she hated his left side, to the point of scarring him for life. 

-He begins to wonder if you too look at him with such disgust and hatred from time to time. 

-He knew of your dislike towards his father since you two were in high school and he finally shared his past with you. 

-This undying dislike carried on into your adult life even after multiple family dinners and warm, friendly exchanges with Endeavor. 

-Did you also think he was like his father? 

-Did you see Endeavor when he walked inside your shared apartment at night?

-He got home before you or at least that's what he remembers.

-You found him with his head resting in his hands and back pressed against the hallway’s wall when you returned from your patrol. 

-At first you thought that he was hurt but after he didn’t answer to your fifth call of his name you knew it was more of a mental struggle. 

-Crouching down to his level you slowly pried his hands from his face, giving him a smile once his eyes came into view. 

-Cupping his cheeks, you brushed your fingers over his scar once, twice before leaning in and giving him a little peck on the nose, then on his forehead, then on each cheek, on his scar and last on his lips.

- “Sho my love, what’s wrong?” 

-Your hand was now running through his hair, untangling the soft locks of white as your other still lay on his other cheek, your thumb making small smooth circles on his scar. 

- “Do you see me as Endeavor?” 

-Taking in a sharp breath you stopped your ministrations for a moment before shuffling closer to him and raising his chin so he would finally meet your eyes. 

- “I see Shoto when I look at you. I see the shy boy who wouldn’t sit next to me during movie night in our first year so he wouldn’t make me uncomfortable. I see the boy who overcame his fears and used his quirk. I see the pro hero who has saved hundreds of lives in the three years he has been in the industry. I see the man I’m in love with. So no, I don’t see Endeavor.” 

-He looked at you then, really looked at you. 

-You were smiling at him, one of your sweet as honey smiles while your eyes almost sparkled as they were locked with his. 

-In one swift movement he wrapped his arms around you, bringing you flush to his chest a thousand I love you’s leaving his lips as he kissed senseless. 

- “Now would you like some takeout soba from that place you like or homemade soba with my lovely cooking.” 

- “I wanna actually eat so takeout.” 

- *le gasp*

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @storage11037​ @dnarez​ @wolfkid22​ @letscheereachotheron​ @ezoyscorner​ @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses​ @threeamwriting​

[animatorweirdo]

Undying devotion (Last chapter)

Warnings: mentions of dying, violence, death, injuries and angst

Finrod x reader

You wake up in a strange place, wearing different clothes and all of your injuries treated. You almost thought you woke up in after-life, but no. You are still alive because this blessing didn’t allow you to leave.

Chapter 3

---------------------------------------------------------------------

You were blankly staring into nothing. There was a bowl of warm soup lying on your lap, still warm and steaming. You were holding the spoon but did not attempt to eat the food. You had no will to eat. Even though; you were starving inside.

You woke up some time ago. Laying on a strange bed and dressed in soft fabricated clothes. Even your neck and bruises were wrapped in bandages and treated that they didn't hurt at all.

You gave a big scare to the elf who came to check on you. You suddenly woke up with a gasp, and the elf ran out of the room like you were a ghost. The elf did come back, giving you food and telling you to wait for an elf called "Felagund,"

You touched your neck, feeling the bandage's fabric. The fabric was soft, and it wasn't unpleasantly tight. You weren't in pain, but the cut was still there. It was faint, but you can still feel it.

The last moments before you died came back to you. Your heart was beating anxiously, and you could help but feel like the blood was still flowing out of your neck and remember the feeling of being suffocated to death.

Why couldn't he let you go? Why did he have to keep you in that state of dying?

Someone cleared their throat, snapping you out of your deep thoughts and gaining your attention. Your heart accelerated a bit when you saw a beautiful elf man beside your bed. He had long golden locks which almost looked like they were glowing. He was tall, and his eyes held a gentle expression that you felt relaxed than scared.

"I see you're awake. How are you feeling?" He sat down on a chair beside your bed. "I feel... fine, I guess," Your voice was a bit raspy. You suddenly felt your throat tighten up. You tried to hold it but then started coughing. The elf handed you the glass of water, which was sitting beside your bed site. You took the water glass and drank the liquid to refresh your dry throat.

"Not having a drink for three days straight might have put a number on you, so try to keep yourself hydrated as much as you can," He explained. You nodded after taking careful sips from the water glass. "Yeah, thanks," You said. You almost gagged when the water touched your dry throat. The water tasted bland and was difficult to swallow.

You then remembered that he was the one who woke you up from your half-dead state. The dog allowed him to approach you.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused," You stated. "My situation must have caused some troubles to those villagers that tried to help me, " You said. "So you were aware of what was happening?" He asked. "I was between life and death, but my hearing still worked..." You trailed off. The screams of those people lingered in your mind. How many did he manage to kill?

"I'm sorry..." You said.

"It's alright. I have no hard feelings for you. I would like to know more about you," The elf said with a gentle smile. "I am Finrod Felagund, the king of this kingdom," He introduced himself. You nodded. You kinda guessed he was some important figure. "(Name)... just a... " You trailed off, trying to come up with something. "A weird case of nature," You said. He chuckled with a smile. "Well, it's nice to meet you, (Name)," He said. You almost smiled. You felt comfortable around him for some reason.

"If it's not too much to ask. I'm curious about your white dog," Finrod asked. Your easiness faltered off for a moment. "Yeah, he used to be a normal dog. A very loving one, but then he became some kind of spirit when a stranger gave my family this so-called blessing," You started. "It works like this; When one of my family members end up in a situation where they're going to die. Our animal companion who passed away returns and guards us against people who have committed crimes and even from death itself," You tried to explain it. "So... technically, we end up stuck between life and death until a person who has never committed a crime and is pure by heart arrives. With their help only, we're able to be free and come back to life," You added.

"So... a stranger gave you this gift?" Finrod asked. You nodded with a humm. "Can you tell about this stranger?" He asked. You went through your memories which happened when you were a child. "I don't remember much about the incident. But my family helped out this stranger, who was suffering and starving..." You began. Finrod nodded, letting you continue. "We fed and helped the stranger, then as a kind repayment. The stranger gave this blessing and then disappeared without another word," You said. "Did you learn their name by any chance?" Finrod asks. You shook your head. "No, they disappeared before we could ask," You answered.

"Interesting..." Finrod hummed. "When did your family learn about this blessing?" He asked.

A frown dressed your face. "Like how it worked..." You said, remembering that particular incident. "My father was ambushed by bandits and was brutally killed. Later, I and my mother and brother went to look for him. We found him lying dead, protected by a dog he treasured as a child but lost due to an incident, " You said. "Then he came back to life when we reached him," You added. "From that day forth, we became aware of this blessing," You stated.

"The second time it happened again was when I lost my dog and got into an accident," You started. "I was pushed from a cliff by a person who loved to bully me," You said. "That sounds horrible," Finrod said. "Oh, you can't comprehend the feeling when I fell and crushed my head from that fall," You said almost sarcastically. "I died, then my dog came back to life and fought off everyone who dared to come near me," You said. "My family had to move after that incident because some people saw it as a curse," You said.

"We became careful with our lives. Trying to avoid situations that might cost our lives, because..." You sighed. "We weren't scared of dying because we knew we would not be able to die. We were scared of getting stuck between that limbo because our dead animal companions won't even let death come to claim us," You said.

"We can be freed by the pure-hearted people, which is bad because..." You said. " We live in a world where everyone commits crimes. There aren't a lot of good people," You said.

Finrod nodded, agreeing with you.

"If I may ask..." He started. You glanced at him as he was about to ask his question. "What does dying feel like?" He asked. You looked away, not sure how to answer such a question.

"Imagine feeling tingling and free from all your senses," You said. "You can't smell or feel the wind on your face," You added. "There's simply nothing," You said. "There is a light in the distance, and you could hear someone singing, but for me, it's a taunting sight," You said with a frown. Finrod furrowed his brows when he saw your body shake.

"Can you even comprehend what it feels like to be stuck, between life and death?" You tried to hold back tears. "I should have died days ago, but I didn't. Instead, I was forced to wait. Relieving the pain in my neck as I bled and suffocated all over again, and for what? For someone who might never come to help me out of that state," Your hands were tightly gripping on the sheets.

"Whoever that stranger was. This blessing has caused nothing but pain and suffering," You held your tears. Your hands were violently shaking. You don't have a grudge against your white guardian, who used to be your beloved companion, but you can't handle it anymore.

Finrod gently laid his hand upon yours. You calmed down a bit as you looked at him. "I can't exactly understand what it feels like, but from what you said, I can already imagine," He said. You felt a bit more relaxed, and tears didn't threaten to fall.

"My dog's name was Loyal, which is kinda ironic, isn't it?" You questioned. Finrod nodded. In his mind, he finally figured out the smudged word on your dog's collar was its name. "I guess I had a thing for unusual names when I was younger," You said, taking a spoonful of the soup to eat it.

"Names can hold powerful meanings, but I'm sure Loyal didn't mean to cause you any pain. It probably thought it was protecting you from everything, " Finrod explained. "He was a real sweetheart," You said before taking careful sips of the soup. Your will to eat was finally growing.

"Is there anything else you wish to know?" You asked, hoping you don't need to talk about yourself anymore. You don't like talking about the blessing, and especially about your dog.

"Well, just one. What happened before you died?" He asked. "What was the cause that led to your death?" He added. You froze when you heard that question. Your mind filled itself with memories of what happened, bad memories about a place that caused your whole family to suffer.

Finrod sensed your silence and hesitation in your eyes. There was distress and hidden anger. Whatever happened. It wasn't good.

"I'm sorry, that might have been out of line," He said. "You don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable and relives bad memories," He added with his hand against his chest.

"No... it just, " You said. "I don't know how to begin..." You added.

"What happened was that; I was traveling with my family to find a new home. We were traveling on a road which was pretty safe for travelers, but then..." The memory came back to you like it was yesterday.

"We got ambushed by werewolves," You said. "Werewolves?" Finrod questioned. "Giant horrifying creatures," You said. "They came out of nowhere. We didn't see them coming at all," You started to feel cold when you remembered the attack. "I saw when they mauled my mother, tossing her around like killing a rabbit," Your eyes started to burn. "We tried to help her, but we couldn't do anything," You said.

"They killed until only I, my father, my brother, and one of my uncles were left," You explained. "They took us alive and dragged us to their home. It looked like a giant tower on an island," You said. Finrod froze when you described the place. He knew where those creatures brought you and your family. Tol-in-Gaurhoth.

"They turned us into slaves and... they did horrible things to us," You tried to control your incoming tears. "They tortured us, whipped and... they took my uncle, and I..." Your voice became hoarse, and tears managed to escape. "I watched as those creatures mutilated and used my uncle like he was a chewing toy," You explained. "There was so much blood... and I can still hear him screaming," You were shaking at this point. "I watched him die right in front of me," You said.

Finrod felt his heart clench in his body like he could feel the pain you were feeling.

You sniffed. "My father conducted a plan which would allow me and Eric to escape," You continued. "He stayed behind while we ran away from that place," You couldn't prevent yourself from crying anymore. "Eric. Was he your..." Finrod started. "He was my brother," You answered, hiccups escaping from your mouth. "We managed to get away, but then the wolves caught him," You said. "I wanted to help him, but then he yelled at me to run, and I... just ran like a coward!" Your crying became more uncontrollable. "Like a fucking coward!" You hiccuped. Your hiccups turned into coughs then you started violently coughing. Your sudden coughing fit made you accidentally drop your bowl of soup onto the floor. The bowl shattered, and the soup scattered all over the place.

Finrod stood up and grabbed you, waiting for your coughing to calm down a bit. You slammed your hand against your mouth, trying to suppress your coughing. "Shh... it's okay," Finrod rubbed a spot in your shoulder to calm your down. You soon stopped coughing when you felt something warm and calming. Like something was embracing your soul. The irritation in your throat calmed down. You glanced down at your hand and saw blood. There was blood also on your lips, which gave you a sour taste when you licked them.

You took a deep breath before looking at the floor, seeing your soup all over the place. "I'm sorry," You hang your head low. "It's okay. I have a servant clean it up later," Finrod sat beside you.

"When I almost got away... a vampire caught up to me. She was a woman from shadows. I don't know her name, but I knew how cruel she was. She started toying with me, then... then," Your neck started to sting when you thought about it. "Shhh... you don't need to go further. I can already guess the rest," Finrod shushed you, then handed you the glass of water. "I don't think that was the worst of it..." You said. "I don't know if the rest of my family has the blessing. I know me, and my father has it, but... if they do... are they in the same state I was? Are they stuck between life and death, alone and suffering? " You questioned. "If not, are they gone? Like really gone? Left their bodies and this world?" You added, your eyes burning once again. "I want to know... " You started crying again.

Finrod gently pulled you in a hug, allowing you to shed it all out. He was holding back his tears.

He understood the horrors you went through. He has heard about it many times from those who suffered the same thing in Tol-in-Gaurhoth, the Isle of werewolves. He has tried to comfort those who escaped from that place, but he can't help but still feel sorrow for them. It was once a beautiful place. Now it was a home of nightmares, under the rule of Sauron. The worst of all Morgoth's servants.

He can't imagine what might be happening to your father right now. Finrod was also a bit concerned if Sauron was to discover this "blessing,"

Finrod shook his head from those thoughts. It was best not to think about it. The positive thing would be that your father's white guardian will be able to defend him from Sauron's clutches. If he's not between life and death, that is.

"You are welcomed to stay here as long you like," Finrod said to you as he held you close. "Rest, you need it," He said. "I will provide all the help you need to heal," He added. "I'm sorry..." You sniffed. "Don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for," He said as you two stayed in that position for a while.

You were a unique case, but you were also just another victim to the cruelties of life.

(Some days later)

You were sitting on a bench which was in a beautiful garden. The scent of grass and the flowers were welcoming. It was peaceful, and the fresh air was refreshing. A good change of scenery. After being bedridden for so long. It took time for you to walk and eat normally, but the wait was worth it.

Your hand was holding onto the pencil, drawing swift but concentrated lines on the sketchbook the elves gave you. Drawing was once an enjoyable hobby for you. But now, you use it as a kind of coping mechanism.

Finrod was watching you from one of the balconies. He was glad you were recovering, but he found himself unable to turn away after what happened between you two.

Edrahil appeared beside him. "What do you think, my friend?" Finrod asked as they both now observed you. "Having a ghostly guardian who prevents you from dying and being touched by untrustworthy, then being able to come back to life. It all sounds unreal to me," Edrahil explained. "I know that they're just another victim from Tol-in-Gaurhoth, but is it best for them to stay here. What if the sons of Feanor hear about their situation and decide to take advance of them?" He asked. "Then we make sure it doesn't happen," Finrod stated. "Even they seer their situation more as a curse than a gift," He added as he looked at you. His thoughts came back to your conversation.

Animal companions' love for their owner can go great lengths, but your dog's love for you went even farther; that he's willing to protect you in death. That is undying devotion.

Finrod glanced toward you and can still feel the presence of your dog, Loyal. The white dog lays beside you, looking at you with love and adoration, even when you don't know that they're there. He looked happy to see you alive and well. It seems he was not going to leave your side any time soon. He seemed to be waiting as well, waiting for his time to protect you again.

It's a terrifying devotion.

[legoshi-plz]

So I was wondering if I could get some period cramps comfort hcs with Legoshi and Louis please? (Also whatever animal u want is fine)

I had a couple of ideas for this but the indication of a period kinda means the reader would more than likely be coded as fem and I wanted everyone to feel included so I also did a version of them taking care of their significant other when they’re sick in general (like a cold or something).

Warning: NSFW-ish Elements

//////

Louis:

Period Discomfort:

- Growing up with only Oguma and himself, he’s never experienced seeing someone go through a period ever so he has no clue how to deal with it.

- If you want any empathy from him you’re going to have to explain it to him and how painful it is for you. He might think you’re exaggerating at first but once he actually sees you in pain, he’ll start to believe it.

- Thinks money solves everything and just buys whatever he thinks you’ll need and has it delivered to you. Thoughtful yes, however you end up with a lot of menstrual products you dont use and chocolate you won’t eat because Louis just went ahead and bought everything he saw instead of actually asking you what you about brands, sizes, etc.

- Not the type to comfort you physically. He actually really hates the smell of blood and his super sensitive nose always can pick up on it. He won’t go out of his way to avoid you because it’s you and you could never repulse him but he’s not the “let’s cuddle up on the couch and watch sappy movies” type either.

- Overall avoids the situation. Not the best in this subject but is doing the best he can in his comfort zone.

Sick S/O:

- Not very good at reading preemptive symptoms. Won’t realize that you’re sick until you’re nearly hacking up a lung or fainting from fatigue.

- But once he does realize you’re not well, he insists that you get some rest and don’t push yourself. Won’t take no for an answer.

- Again thinks the best way is to throw money at a situation so buys you the best medicine, heating pad, etc. Will also take you to the doctor and if you’re too weak or unwilling, will have his personal doctor make a house call.

- Stays with you while you’re sleeping. When you wake up and try to stop him, he insists your germs won’t affect him and he can’t get sick (they totally do and he totally does).

- Overall more equipped in this subject but can be pretty strict/ annoying in your recovery (he’s lost a lot of people okay? He refuses to lose you too, especially to something like this if he can prevent it)

Legoshi:

Period Discomfort:

- His Canine senses always let him know when you’re on your period (plus he can like.... smell the blood but he’s too polite to point that out + blood is the farthest thing from unpleasant to Carnivores).

- By far the best in these type of situations. Does a ton of research and also outright asks you what he can do for you. Really attentive to you and your needs.

- Wanna listen to sad music under LED lights and just vibe out? He’s right there with your fave playlist. Wanna cuddle up on the couch and watch sad movies? He’s already got it started along with a pint of your favorite ice cream.

- Just overall Boyfriend of the year when it comes to this.

Sick S/O:

- Yep, he’s also an expert on his significant other being sick too (Go figure, right?)

- Makes homemade Soup/ Broth to soothe your throat. Runs you a warm bath to try and break the fever. Makes you take some medicines but also uses a lot of home remedies and practices he’s learned from Gosha growing up.

- Also claims he won’t get sick but unlike Louis, he actually doesn’t because he has a pretty strong immune system as a Grey Wolf. Able to stay by your side the whole time and will unless you asks for some space, which he’ll give but he’ll worry about you the whole time he’s gone.

- Overall has a tendency to hover but means well and is very knowledgeable about your recovery. Will have you feeling better the fastest.

Juno:

Period Discomfort:

- Certified expert in this subject. Knows exactly what you’re going through and knows exactly how to deal with it. Will know what you want/ need before you even know yourself.

- Always has Pads and Tampons handy. Always knows the exact size and kind to get.

- Offers advice to ease the pain you’d never even thought of before such as stretching and doing Yoga (and of course you two do Yoga together/ she helps you stretch. The close contact can be pretty intimate which you’ll love if you crave touch during your period.)

- However, if you and Juno’s periods ever sync up, she’s not going to be the most pleasant to be around, it’s best the two of you just avoid each other.

Sick S/O:

- Loves to play nurse but not actually all that great in making you feel better. Definitely has a sexy nurse’s costume that she likes to put on while caring for you.

- A lot of head pats and hand holding with a few “We’re gonna get through this,” sprinkled on there so yeah basically not helpful at all.

- Will go get you medicine or anything else you need but you have to tell her EXACTLY what to get, she’s not great at following directions okay

- Like Legoshi, being a Grey Wolf means she’s hardly ever sick... like EVER. She has hardly any experience in this field.

Riz:

Period Discomfort:

- By far the most touchy-feely when you’re on your period. He loves the smell of blood and he thinks you smell delicious. Usually a very chill, easygoing guy but becomes uncharacteristically clingy during this time.

- Never gets tampons or pads because he’s too busy eating you out or shoving his fat cock inside you.

- Thinks his dick is the cure to all of your needs and in this case he’s kinda right because period sex actually does help relieve like 80% of your symptoms.

- Fucks softer than he normally would but he’s nearly insatiable, especially when he’s high off your blood so you’re nearly on the verge of passing out from exhaustion.

- Once you’re too tired to continue, he’s still right there by your side, his arms permanently latched around you. He seriously can’t get enough of you when you’re like this, your period hormones have him even more lovestruck than he already is.

- Will draw you a bath after sex, carry you to the tub, and personally wash every inch of you. Anything to touch you at this point. Doesn’t join though because he doesn’t wanna reveal how such a seemingly innocent act gets him so hard.

- Overall has a pretty unconventional approach to period care but it makes you feel better all the same and you know it’s coming from a true place of love (and a little lust).

Sick S/O:

- Much more tame when it comes to caring for a sick S/O because the hormones you secrete during your period aren’t fogging his judgement.

- Still very touchy-feely but in a non-sexual way. Likes to lay you on top of him and hold you to help get rid of your chills. Also gives the BEST massages to relieve the ache in your joints.

- Believes honey is an end all be all cure to any illness and puts it in/on literally everything. Though it does help soothe your throat, you still end up sending him to the store to pick up some more potent remedies.

- Next to honey, he thinks sleep/rest is the answer to near everything (because he’s a bear and hibernating is their go to for any ailment) so he also adds sleep inducers to your tea, food, etc. to get you to sleep off the cold. You don’t mind because it actually does help (also he always tells you ahead of time that it’s in there)

- Overall a good caretaker in this department even if some of his actions can seem a little antiquated or stereotypical for Bears.

Gouhin:

Period Discomfort:

- He’s surprisingly a lot like Riz in this department (which actually isn’t all that surprising since they’re both bears). He’s got a sensitive nose and your hormones really mess with his head and kick him into overdrive.

- This isn’t his first rodeo with his partners’ periods so he does have some experience in this field to help keep him under control.

- Will indulge in period sex but only if his partner asks for it/ brings it up first. He knows that’s a slippery slope, especially with his kind and with his self-control so he doesn’t seek it out first. (Can’t deny that he loves when you do ask for it though)

- Knows all the tricks of the trade in helping you feel better non-sexually and indulges you when he has time but since he’s pretty busy with clients and stuff, he hardly ever has time for the aspects that require him physically being there (such as cuddling, massages, etc.)

- Pretty average in this department because he’s older so he doesn’t have time to really baby you through this the way you might want him to.

Sick S/O:

- Deals with his S/O being sick very similar to how he deals with period discomfort.

- He’s a medical professional so he tends to just get you some medicine that actually works instead of incorporating home remedies that end up taking longer, in his opinion.

- Can be a little irritating when he walks around in the morning time with his shirt off looking like the embodiment of health and toned abs, sipping on his bamboo smoothie while you feel like you’re on your deathbed.

- Tells you to get plenty rest, drink plenty fluids, take the medicine he leaves for you but he’s not there to really enforce it because he leaves in the morning for work and doesn’t get back until super late at night. You usually fall asleep and forget to wake up to do anything he told you to. He’s not upset and not really the punishment type in the first place so there are no real repercussions, he just reminds you again the next day to do it if you want to feel better faster.

- Overall, has a pretty neutral/indifferent approach to this because he’s seeing the situation through the lens of professionalism, so some aspects you really crave such as physical contact or general affection, he falls short in.

Bill:

Period Discomfort:

- Don’t call him.

- Thinks periods are gross and does NOT want to be around you if you’re on yours.

- The only way he’d reach out to you during this time is if he was horny and wanted you to use your mouth to get him off.

- A terrible guy who you should block tbh :/

Sick S/O:

- Says things like “Hang in there champ,” and that’s pretty much it.

- If you sneeze around him or cough near him, he’ll think it’s gross and proceed to avoid you.

- Why do you even bother with him again?

[faeriebears]

A list of kagehina fluff fics I adore, and I think you will too ♪ヽ(･ˇ∀ˇ･ゞ

• pervasion - artenon

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Characters: Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou

Additional Tags: Sharing Clothes, College, Future Fic

Summary:

Hinata won’t stop wearing Kageyama’s shirts to bed, and it’s becoming a problem.

• As Forking Pasts Converge Into A Single Point - anilee0510

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Additional Tags: Break Up, Getting Back Together, they are college age

Summary:

Two years, three months and four days if one wanted to be exact but it wasn’t like Kageyama was keeping track. Not. At. All.

(alternatively: Kageyama gets a text that sends him trekking across a couple of prefectures to make sure a certain stupid ex wasn't getting attacked by rabid dogs or abducted by aliens)

• Do you love volleyball more than me? - lalasagna

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Additional Tags: Kissing, dumb boyfriends kissing, Established Relationship, Fluff, ALL THE FLUFF, kageyama doesn't like not kissing hinata, hinata always gets his way because kags is whipped af, Self-Indulgent, no one cries this time youre welcome, Humor

Summary:

Hinata asks Kageyama a question and Kageyama takes some time to answer. Honestly, at least.

• Fingertips all over - sanguinekitten

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Additional Tags: Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Touching, just checked and i never used the word "linger" in a fic about touch so are you curious yet, kageyama has cold hands furudate told me themselves, i actually have no idea how to tag this, alternatively: kageyama has a crush and does absolutely nothing about it, Canon Compliant

Summary:

Warm.

From the breadth of his smile to the print of his fingertips, Hinata Shoyo is warm.

• Nighttime Prowl - HQcharbon (fleurdelester)

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Meetings, Neighbours, (kinda), Cats, hinata is hot, and his cat likes to annoy kageyama, thats a recipe for success in my book

Summary:

His miracle idea came to him one day as he watched the orange cat jump onto its balcony. There, practically blending into the cat’s fur, was a red collar. It’s a wonder he didn’t notice it beforehand, Tobio thinks, eyeing the bell that jingles as the cat leaps onto his windowsill to stare inside and look for Whiskers.

There’s no tag, he thinks, but that won’t be a problem.

He grabs a scrap of paper from his desk, writing a court message on a strip he tore off.

Hi, your cat keeps coming to my apartment in the middle of the night. Is it possible you can keep him inside overnight? Thanks.

He adds his name and phone number for good measure before slipping the note onto the mystery cat’s collar, hopefully ending his late nights once and for all.

• a green ring upon my finger - emleewrites

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Misunderstandings, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Married Couple, Married Life, Manga Spoilers, Light Angst, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Miscommunication, Hurt/Comfort

Summary:

There, along the base of his left ring finger, is a smudge of green across the skin. “Dumbass-“ he starts.

“Don’t call me a dumbass, Tobio, my finger is rotting.”

“It’s not rotting, it’s from your ring you idiot,” Tobio tells him, half amused and half deeply exasperated. “But you said you didn’t want to tell anyone yet,” he then states, staring hard at his partner. “Isn’t everyone wondering why you’re wearing a wedding ring?”

“I don’t deny I’m married!” Hinata laughs, sounding very proud at this declaration. Tobio’s chest squeezes.

• How to become educated in the art of homosexuality - justhavesex

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Additional Tags: Romantic Comedy

Summary:

The world ends on a Thursday when Kageyama accidentally kisses Hinata during practice.

• A million floating hearts and counting - tsunderei

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Additional Tags: Manga Spoilers, Post-Time Skip, Canon Compliant, Aged-Up Character(s), Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Established Relationship, Living Together, Light Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fame/Social Media Struggles

Summary:

Fans have always loved to speculate about Kageyama and Hinata, especially after their professional volleyball careers took off. They usually deal with all the attention in stride, accepting the bad with the good – but the more Kageyama stays quiet, the more Hinata worries.

• There's something to be said for soup and heated lavender - emleewrites

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Married Couple, Domestic Fluff, Sickfic, Good Husband Tobio, Headaches & Migraines, Manga Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort

Summary:

“Tobio.”

“Hmmm?”

Hinata lets his hands drop away from his face and raises himself up on his elbows slightly so he can squint down the bed at him. “How many flavours have you made?”

“Err… six.”

Hinata stares at him wordlessly before letting his aching head drop back onto the pillow. “You thought I’d eat six bowls of soup?” He asks the ceiling, voice rough and bewildered.

Tobio frowns, slightly offended. Of course he didn’t think Hinata would eat six bowls of soup, he wasn’t an idiot. “I wanted to be thorough,” he pouts, scowling down at his medley of soup. Admittedly the kitchen now looked like a bomb had hit it and he’s not entirely certain about the cauliflower one, but he’s fairly sure they’re all edible.

-

In which Hinata has a migraine, and Kageyama is a doting husband with too many remedies.

• confession - buu

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Summary:

“You've been an ass to me for three weeks!” Hinata blurts, and finally the weight of it is pushing down on him. He's been trying to ignore it, telling himself it's just Kageyama being Kageyama, but this isn't like him, this is weird, and Hinata hates it. He's miserable.

~~

Stay tuned for the next list! Love you all!

[numptypylon]

Epilogue

I added a short epilogue to Reunion and Intersection today, but I also wrote a much longer one, full of fluffy comfort, to get through the angst-writing in the first two chapters. It’s unedited, unfinished and ridiculously self-indulgent, and I don’t think it really goes with the story, so I elected to not post it, but I’m attaching it here, under the cut, for those interested. Keep in mind it’s a reject for a reason though; this is what my writing looks like in the explorative phase where I’m looking for the point, and in this case I didn’t really find it XD

~2K under the readmore

Callum got there early. A lot of people eyed him warily, but a letter from Queen Janai was a good smoother-of-grumpy-elf-tempers.

No-one had seen Rayla, so… she was probably not here yet.

He went to the inn, bought a large room, lit a roaring fire in there, activating the Sunfire rock he used to keep warm at night under the covers of the bed, and calling for the tub to be filled. It had the usual Skywing heating arrangement, only needing a good Fulminis to heat the water.

He resisted flying out to find her. He risked missing her again, and her leaving town before he got back.

It was about… hitting the point of intersection.

So, he waited at the city gates. He didn’t have to wait nearly as long as he expected, considering the distance she would have had to traverse. Maybe she had recovered and had travelled faster than he thought.

It was definitely her though. A small, lone figure on the mountainside.

He intended to wait for her until she got to him, but then she stopped to lean against a tree and he realized that she had not recovered and was up there sick in the snow… and that resolve evaporated like it had never been.

Like he would ever let her struggle alone a moment longer than she needed to.

 **

 It was a measure of her exhaustion that she didn’t notice him until he was basically right in front of her, and even then, her reaction was so much slower than usual.

It still… it was hard to believe it was real. For her too, surely more so.

He numbly pulled his scarf off, packing it around her neck and head. He grazed her cheek and felt it and she felt it and… she felt it, because the tears that had built up in her eyes spilled over at his touch, slipping down her dirty and flushed cheeks.

She looked ready to drop, and felt it too, when he put his arms around her and her disbelief gave way to relief. Whatever ridiculous level of stubbornness had kept her upright for the last day and night of walking through snow and up mountains when she should have been in bed… fell away and she slumped almost completely in his arms.

She sobbed hoarsely for a bit, and he let her.

And she let him, when his hand cupped the back of her head and her hair tickled his fingers and it hit him too that… it was really real, she was here.

They needed to… get to the inn though, so he pulled away and wiped his face. They could… and probably would… have a longer cry and a longer hug later. But she was sick and cold and there was a roaring fire and a filled bathtub two minutes of flight away.

“Let’s go,” he said. “I knew you were coming this way and that you were sick. And I booked a room for… you.” For them both, he hoped, but-

“What?” she blubbered. “But… aren’t… aren’t you mad?”

“I mean, of course I am, but… that’s not really… that can wait.”

“I’m…” she laughed weakly, more tears spilling over. “I’m so happy to see you and there’s… so many things I would like to say and… and I’m such a mess right now and so tired and I’m just… I’m so tired I cried earlier just because a stupid pine branch hit me in the face and knocked me off my sled and it continued down the mountain without me and I’d have to walk instead and-“

“Hey, hey!” He stroked down her flushed, wet cheeks, along fresh scratches where presumably that branch had hit her. Sledding, huh… she always was extremely resourceful and oh so daring. And that explained how she got here so fast. “Rayla, it’s okay. You can rest first. I’ll take care of things… of you. For as long as you want me to, but… definitely for the next few days.”

“How c-can you… are you… here-”

He leant his head against her forehead, relishing in the feeling of contact, even if her skin was clammy and too-hot. “That’s… complicated,” he said. “And also simple. You called me here. I came.”

“Manis. Pluma. Volantis.”

 **

 She staggered, when they set down, steadying herself on his shoulder, and Callum was glad he had elected to land in front of the inn instead of at the city gates.

She definitely wasn’t well yet, her breath rasping in her throat, her forehead beading with sweat, cheeks and ears flushed. The fever had maybe broken, but it hadn’t quite left. And she was exhausted, trembling with the effort of staying upright, her eyes dull and glassy.

People were staring, when they went inside, but the innkeeper came over and recommended the soup of the day, and their house-made herbal tea blend with Sky Yak milk, and assured them it would be brought to their room shortly, with a look of very obvious sympathy at Rayla.

And then the door shut behind them.

“I owe-” she started, but he cut her right off.

“No. You’re owed,” he said tightly.

“Owed what?” She sounded… nervous.

“Soup. Hot tea. A warm bed and a fire someone else made. General fussing. Love. Forgiveness. Kindness. A damn break, for once.”

“L-love?”

“Yeah, love.”

Her clumsy fingers fumbled at the clasps of her armor. They were still ice cold when he touched them, the skin red and no-doubt sore.

But she for once didn’t resist any help he gave, sinking gratefully into the tub he had prepared. A warm bath was possibly not great for her fever, but… it was pros and cons and he needed to warm up her hands and feet.

She was barely conscious when he helped her back out of the tub, so he just put her down on a towel on the bed, drying her hair as best he could. He at least managed to get her awake to pull off her own wet underwear and pull his clean night shirt over her head.

 **

 “Callum?” she asked, because… she wanted things, and she could have them. “Stay with me? Please.”

He pressed against her back, warm and real.

His hands engulfed hers, big and soft and familiar.

Full of real little details that her brain hadn’t accurately recreated.

The callus at the side of his right index finger, from his charcoal pencil. The scar from a clumsy sparring accident at the second knuckle.

His voice when he said her name and when he told her it was okay.

His kinda… snuffling non-snoring sleep-sound.

And new things, that she hadn’t known to add.

His arms, still skinny, but stronger than they had been.

His too-long hair flopping over his ears.

And things she had yet to find out.

 **

 “Morning-“ she muttered, as she woke, feeling warm. And her throat felt a lot better, too and most of that sticky, gross fever feeling was gone, although there was still some sluggish daze, everything just a bit vaguer and floatier than it should have been.

“Afternoon,” Callum corrected lightly, but there was something not so light underneath. “You slept for… 14 hours. I bet you’re hungry.”

“I bet… you were worried.” That was a long time to worry and not wake her to assuage it but just sit in it, watching her sleep.

She reached out to stroke his furrowed brow. Her hands were bandaged though, so she couldn’t touch him properly. She didn’t remember, but did recall something about Callum saying he had called a doctor, and then she must have conked out pretty hard and slept through it.

She clenched and released her hands experimentally. Seemed alright except for being stiff and sore?

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked, staring down at the thick bandages.

“Except for the illness that nearly killed you because you’re such a massive dummy? Lots of things.” He took her hands, starting to unwind the bandages. “For your hands, hopefully only frostnip. I’m supposed to check that, when you woke, take you back to the doctor if there’s signs of deeper frostbite.”

There was some thick ointment, probably the reason for the bandages. Her hands looked reddened, the fingers a bit swollen, but… not so bad. Nothing was white or black or blistered, so really, nothing to worry about, where frostbite was concerned.

Callum wasn’t satisfied with a visual inspection though, cupping her hands in his, methodically checking she could feel all her fingers and make a full fist.

“I think it’s okay,” he said, breathing out, relieved. He did tend to catastrophize- “No… no risk of amputation this time-” His fingers slid across her left wrist, the faint whitened scars from where the binding had dug into her skin and where the sunforge blade had burnt her.

“It’s definitely okay,” she said. “Barely hurts.” She cupped his face, feeling his skin just fine against her fingertips. “It’s not like back then, okay?”

“How do you feel today?”

“Better. Way better. I’m ready to go, if-”

“What?!” He stared at her in disbelief. “Absolutely not. You didn’t hear what the doctor said. But I did, she got here while you were sleeping. And absolutely not.”

“What-“ Was it not just a regular bug?

He breathed, slowly and deliberately. “You’re okay, it’s a regular winter infection going around. But you did a number on your own immune system with the hypothermia and mountain climbing and… she said you were undernourished, dehydrated, stressed and critically exhausted. And that you would do well to take a week or more to fully recover, during which you should eat and rest plenty, stay warm and keep stress down. Does that sound like your regular travel, to you?”

Well… not so much.

“So, I’ll ask again, how do you feel today?”

“Tired,” she sighed. “My hands are stiff and achy. My throat hurts. My legs are wobbly. My head feels full of snot.” She smiled, despite all that. “My heart is happy to see you. It’s okay if you’re- I know… that it’s complicated.”

“It is. We have… some things to talk about. Promise you won’t leave until we do?”

“I promise.”

“Okay. Then, I think we should put the complicated things away for a few days. Until you’re better and it doesn’t hurt your throat to talk. Because… we have a lot of talking to do.”

“You don’t… need to stay. For those few days. If it’s hurting you to-”

He sighed heavily. “It does.” Yeah, he couldn’t say that it didn’t. Being around her with so much… unresolved. She didn’t want that for him. She didn’t… want to have those long and hard conversations right now either, when she was still tired and fevered and liable to burst into tears at the slightest provocation. “But it would hurt me more to leave. Didn’t it hurt you? To leave?”

“Yeah.” So, so much.

He reached out to pack his scarf around her throat more closely, the soft, warm knit a soothing feeling against the raw ache.

“Lie down, okay? Be sick? I’ll read you a story. It has murder and dismemberment in it, I asked the innkeeper specifically.”