#easyisntworthit

[sailedships]

Today is a day like any other. How fortunate I am for the sun and beautiful weather. I have Weslynn and Nyxi, both of my beautiful daughters as company. I sit and try to find peace between the screams and clatter of toys being shuffled through. My thoughts racing, as my motivation depletes. Im conscious and yet i feel blank, Numb if you will. Im trying to stay positive and be the rock for my family. They need me, as much as I need them.

My significant other is temporarily absent as I write by the way. I sit and think , damn, I truly do love that girl. Id take a bullet for her. I try my hardest to be the man she needs but lately I feel inadequate. There are many unusual feelings coarsing through my body. And my nerves reflect it. Well, what is left of them anyways.

So let me take a minute to tell you about my significant other. Because she floods my mind daily, and fills my thoughts on a level thats constant. First thought that comes to mind is her eyes, a bright blue that you seek to dive head first for. As breath taking as the ocean and all its beauty. Everytime I have the opportunity to gaze into them I get lost, such kind features that ive never experienced before. They carry so much depth, along with pain and things that not many will ever know.

My other favorite feature of hers is that she has this captivating smile. Its paralyzing to me. I thought it couldnt get better than that and then I heard her voice and her laugh. That was when I knew that I wanted her. I had saw enough.

Her presence I remember, was resonating. I couldnt take my eyes off her. Her blonde hair and the way she carried herself, almost as if she wanted to keep every one at a distance because she had felt enough pain, but it was buried. So, so deep. The attitude, the independency. I mightve been drooling by that point. I dont recall.

Her long legs, that carried her physique with an hourglass shape. I thought to myself, "She's the one. I dont care the challenge, Ill fight for her and be the man she deserves." Yes I understand beauty isn't everything. But wow she was everything I desired in a woman. Truly.

I remember falling in love with this girl. I couldnt wait to clock out from work to rush to her house and laugh. She made me feel alive. Like a drug i've never experienced. The minutes turned into days and the days turned into months. The way I feel about her never dissolved. It just kept growing. Rapidly. The wildest part is I remained all in. Sure we had our tiffs and disagreements. But none of that matters. I've never met someone who made me feel "at home" the way she does.

We would lay there at night and laugh until our faces hurt, and our stomachs couldnt handle any more. As we grew together I continued to learn about her, through every story and interaction I kept seeing this short lived flicker. And one day I realized, the flicker I kept sighting was pain. She hid it so well, I almost missed it. The average person would've missed it and not thought twice.

She finally opened up enough to give me a glimpse of her life, and lets just say. For what she has been through, she is a warrior. The fact that I cannot fathom going through the trials and tribulations that she has encountered, and yet she carries herself as if it doesnt eat at her in the slightest. I saw the vulnerability and it wasnt there for long. She flipped the switch and covered it with anger. She has every right to be angry by the way. She has the right to be much more than angry. I accepted that from the start. But she is strong, she is brave and she is courageous. Yet, she doesnt view herself that way. I know it affects her negatively. And It eats at me so often, some days worse than others.

She had been used, abandoned, treated poorly, cheated on, and I made an pact to myself that day. I decided I never wanted her to feel any of those feelings ever again. I wanna be the one she can rely on. The one she can trust. I want to be her last. I even promised her Ill never give up on her because she needed to know just how serious I am.

To this day Im just as committed to her as the day I met her. Now let me be clear. I have made my mistakes, and I am far from perfect by any means. I've reacted in ways I am not proud of. Said things I regret, and I hope one day it gets forgotten about. I have no excuses and I hold myself accountable.

I just crave to love her. I hope one day she see's the true reason why I stuck by her. Because she is my person. Life was dull before her, and I cant picture it without her next to me for the rest of my days.

Theres so many great things about her, I could go on forever. Like we now have our 2 beautiful girls together and she cares for them like a great mother does. She puts her needs behind our girls and she truly does make so many sacrifices for our family. She is human so she has her days of being over stimulated and touched out. As I do think anyone would!!! I know I couldnt do it any better than she does. And i want her to know that.

As i come to a premature closing on this write, i guess Ill end this with a reminder.

If she/he is what you want. And I mean truly want. Dont give up. Remind them why they are important to you. And if they mean what you say they mean to you, show them. Every.single. day!

Mark my words, I will make this woman my wife. Not just because she had my kids. Because I fell in love with her. Her sense of humor, her looks, her soul. Im done searching, because she is the one and I hope she see's Im here to be her team mate.

💜TJB<3WNL💜

7/7/24

[scribsters]

Doing the things the right way might be hard but by doing it the easy way it won't last. Do what's easy and your life will be hard, do what's hard and your life will become easy. No one said it would be easy and no one said it would be this hard, but believe me it would be worth it. Trust me God gives the most difficult battle to his strongest soldiers. @shubham_mahajan99 #scribsters #rightway #rightpath #therightway #therightpath #hardthings #hardway #easyisnotanoption #easyisntworthit #strongest #motivationalquote #motivationalwords #motivationoftheday #MotivationalQuotes #SundaySpirit #sundayspirit #sundaythoughts #inspiringquotes #inspirationalquote #inspired #quotes4u #QuotesAndSaying #motivationforlife #inspirationalthoughts #quotesofinstagram #quotestoremember #writerscommunity #writersconnection #WritersCafe #writersofig (at Delhi, India) https://www.instagram.com/p/CJl2ahYnvXU/?igshid=10kib1cz53ura