#easy start to a hopefully long endeavor

[nomstellations]

Tales from the Isles- Bounty

Mangri checked the bounty poster in her hand. The disheveled yet all-too pleased grin of her target stared back, fangs on display with dark hair covering their eyes. A thief stealing from the Cove's mayor had some serious guts...Mangri herself would have liked to do the same thing, someday! But she was all too happy to settle for secondhand loot- they were hiding out in one of the canyon's mystery dungeons, so she tracked them here.

As a master thief, lining her own pockets meant more to her than whatever justice that sheriff wanted to uphold. Hopefully this job would be interesting...

Chomper's Canyon had plenty of little nooks and caves, she wasn't surprised a thief would make their hideout somewhere around here. Her target was a Deino who had made off with a pretty chunk of change, and the town's sheriff had a decent reward for whoever could bring in the thief. She had no plans on returning the loot, of course- but they didn't have to know that, did they? Their hideout should be somewhere on this floor...

Mangri found it sooner than she expected. Turning a corner, the dragon was met with a wide room full of gold, treasure boxes, and...food? Resting atop a smaller pile of gold was her target- a thin and lanky young man snoring loudly. As soon as she stepped in he awoke, looking around frantically as if he could actually see anything.

"Whuzzat?! Whozit? Who's there?!"

She smiled. This was too easy. "Your time's up, buddy. Come with me back to town and they might let you off easy."

He sniffed at the air for a moment, then licked his lips. "Hey...y'smell real fruity. You some kinda grass type? Heh heh, and you think you can take me in? I eat folks like you for breakfast! The only thing gettin' turned is you into food!" Suddenly leaping off his hoard, the Deino did a blind and reckless charge at what he thought was his misguided prey. But instead of clamping his open mouth down on his quarry, he found himself slamming into the large gut of a dragon type that vastly towered over him.

"Mmm...that's where you're wrong, shrimp." Hoisting him up by the back of the shirt, the larger dragon studied her catch in smug amusement. "See, I hate it when people underestimate me because of my typing...and I'm afraid you're overpowered and outmatched. Now let's see who's food, hmm?"

Her catch wriggled and shouted a few colorful expletives she noted for later, but it was all ultimately useless as she hoisted him high above her head. Opening wide, Mangri started slipping his feet into her maw and into her throat. Upon feeling the warmth and slick saliva he started to kick and wriggle, but her powerful throat muscles easily rendered kicking a pointless endeavor. "H-hey! You can't do this to me! I'm a DRAGON, y'hear me?! I'm nobody's lunch!"

Mangri simply hummed, lazily gulping again and letting him sink a bit deeper. She loved it when people underestimated her- she wasn't a little weakling anymore by any stretch of the imagination, and any self respecting thief should know that there's always a bigger, hungrier fish. She'll let this be a free lesson to him- two free lessons in fact. she mused as she began to tuck the arms that were shoving at her face and body into her maw. Lesson two: once a predator has most of you in their gullet, you cut your losses and save your strength.

Gulp, glp, glrk. It didn't take long for his protests to become muffled as he was swallowed down. Mangri's stomach jostled and wiggled a bit as her prey collected inside of it, but ultimately the fuss he made was covered well. He wasn't terribly filling either, which made her consider another snack later...but her biggest priority was right in front of her. The criminal was caught- now how does she make off with all this treasure without tipping the people at the Cove off that she stole it?

[artificial-transmutations]

Max' Journey - End times (Part 2)

Although both men didn't get too much sleep last night, Max felt way more fit and energetic than Antorn. His new cyborg body gave him a near limitless supply of energy. It was a bit hard for him to concentrate on the discussion, since his cock was still half-stiff and leaking precum into his metal "underwear" armor, but the worst waves of hornyness had passed. Now, that he was in fighting shape, the three scientists and him discussed their strategy.

Luckily, the complete lack of fighting spirit that led to the alien's problem free conquest of the earth also meant they wouldn't be expecting any resistance. However, from the moment on that Max attacked, he would need to move fast, to reach the alien leader before they could assemble a force capable of stopping him. If that happened, not only would the only hope of humanity have failed, but also the small cell of free humans Max was currently hidden with would be detected before long.

So, the plan they came up with was that Max moved quickly and ruthlessly through the aliens he encountered before he met their leader. He would kill him while recording the whole scene with his internal cameras and Edan and the other two scientists would use that recording to create the myth of Max being an absolutely unstoppable force, capable of wiping out every living alien on the planet. That way, hopefully, the aliens would release humanity and flee.

It was a bluff, but it was their only chance. Even though Max felt like he could take on the world, objectively he knew he couldn't fight every alien on the planet. So, they had to make them think he could, painting Max even bigger than he already was.

The central command complex was nearby. It was one of the spherical ships that one day just appeared out of thin air on the planet’s surface. Pitifully little was known about the aliens themselves. They hid their faces and bodies in exosuits with a singular headlight on their foreheads. From what information they had gathered, the suits were suitable for protection against harsh environments, leading to speculations about the aliens home world having a different atmosphere.

That however did nothing to explain why there were so many aliens here or where they came from in the first place. The spherical ships they appeared in did not appear to be capable of space travel at all, which meant that the aliens used some kind of teleportation technology.

It was a risky endeavor, even more so as they knew so little about the enemy. But being the only choice, they had, it was easy to make.

So, with the first light of the next day, they travelled to the central command ship in a sleek floating vehicle. Max could see some enslaved humans with alien overseers on their way, but nobody paid too much attention to their vehicle. They landed only a few hundred meters away from the big sphere of the central command ship. It was made out of a similar material as the buildings and the vehicle Max was sitting in. The entrance, however, was open and a ramp was leading up into the ship. Left and right of the ramp, there were guarding aliens, equipped with some kind of rifle each.

This was it. When he stepped out of their vehicle, Max would immediately need to start running and fighting, only stopping when he had killed their leader. Even though his cyborg body was big and impressive, Max felt his knees get weak.

"Are you ready?" asked Sirah.

"As I'll ever be", said Max.

"Good luck", said Edan. "And don't forget to start the recording."

Max nodded and did so immediately. Then, without losing any more time, he opened the door and began to sprint towards the ramp. He saw both guards turn around to face him, but none of them fired at him yet. Instead, they aimed their weapons straight at his chest, probably too surprised by his sudden appearance to act immediately.

He reached the ramp and started to run up it. Now, one of the aliens hit the trigger and a bolt of energy hit Max' energy shield with a fizzing sound. He didn't even stop but instead jumped a gigantic leap powered by his leg servos, tackling away the first alien and grabbing his weapon in the process. In the same movement, he turned around and shot an energy bolt at the other one, who had not been so lucky to have an energy shield.

The alien screamed and fell down the ramp, hurt or killed. Max didn't care and sprinted towards the entrance of the ship now, astonished by his own speed and agility. He was moving faster than anything he had seen before. The ramp itself was wide enough for three people side-by-side to walk up comfortably, but he easily cleared it in a single jump.

Now inside the ship, he found himself in a maze of corridors and rooms. Most of the ones he encountered first were empty and only a few aliens stood guard here and there. Max had no trouble overwhelming them, but he knew well that time was working against him. By now, there would surely be an alarm already, and a larger force would be forming to stop the intruder. It was crucial that he reached the alien leader before they found him, but he had no idea where to go. The ship was huge! He needed some means of orientation.

He noticed several doors leading into small rooms and decided to check if there was something interesting behind them. One room contained only a computer terminal with a strange symbol on it, another was completely empty. In the third room, however, he found what he was looking for: A large map showing the whole ship. He only took a quick look at it and trusted in his remnant cave man instincts to find the best path to the command bridge.

As he came nearer, the number of aliens on his way increased and they became more organized. He still was able to take out the small groups of them without getting hurt, but it cost him more time. Finally, he found himself against a whole dozen of the exosuit-clad people in front of a large reinforced door. This must be where he needed to go.

He charged through them, firing energy bolts left and right. Two of them went down quickly, but two others blocked his way. The next moment, Max realized he wouldn't be able to reach the door without going past them. Like in Waterloo, he threw his rifle at one of them with full force and switched to hand-to-hand combat. His shield emitters burnt hot on his chest, as the energy shield absorbed more and more shots directed at him. He needed more! His insides came alive with blasting heat again, as the nanobots inside his body mobilized every bit of energy available to him, possibly even burning parts of his own body for it. With a fizzing sound, his shield emitter broke down, a thin bit of smoke coming from it. The next energy bolt would hit him instead!

Max ducked under the arm of one of his opponents, grabbed him by the neck and headbutted him with all his might. The alien's helmet dented he fell to the ground, but Max was already in front of the next opponent. As he broke his neck, Max felt a hot bit of pain on his left arm, as an energy bolt had melted a piece of his body armor. The molten metal burnt into his flesh, but Max couldn't stop now. He took the body of the alien he just killed and threw it towards the one that just shot at him. It smashed into the enemy's chest plate, breaking it and sending the alien flying back. Max followed him up and landed a knee strike on his groin. The alien flew backwards and crashed into a wall, leaving a dent in it.

A few more brutal seconds later, there were no more aliens around him that posed any danger. Some were still alive and groaning, crawling away, but Max didn't have time to deal with them. Instead, he gathered all his strength and, by overloading his leg augmentations, launched himself against the reinforced door.

It didn't break open and hurt like hell, but its hinges gave out and the door swung half-open. Max kicked it fully open and rushed inside, ready to face whatever awaited him.

He expected a whole lot of aliens inside this room but was surprised to find it almost completely empty. In the middle of the large room, there was a desk and behind that desk, there was one single alien in his exosuit looking at Max. Since he couldn't see the alien's face, Max wasn't sure if the alien was surprised or even fearful. It didn't matter. This whole thing would soon be over.

As Max stepped closer, unstoppable like a freight train, the alien raised a hand. He was not armed, Max noticed.

"Wait!" said the alien. "Don't kill me."

The voice sounded afraid and spoke the language perfectly.

"I will remove my helmet, I just want to talk." said the voice. Was this some kind of trick to stall him? But there were no sounds of more forces from behind, so Max stopped in front of the desk, carefully watching for any weapons. However, the alien just continued as announced and removed the helmet with a hissing sound. Max was surprised to see the entirely human face of a tired looking woman beneath it. She looked older than Max' mother and her eyes looked sad and tired.

"You are very fast", she said. "I never saw anyone move that quickly before."

"Who are you?", asked Max.

"My name is Galya Fell. I am the leader of the exodus expedition."

"Exodus?"

"Yes. We are here to save humanity from extinction. If you let me, I will explain everything to you. You have any right to kill me afterwards, I guess. You have nothing to fear. I told my men to stand down already."

Max nodded. He didn't know what else to do. He was confused by this turn of events but his experiences navigating the 1920s society told him, that there was a whole new layer of complexity to unfold. "Make it quick!" commanded Max and kept vigilant.

Galya gulped and started speaking.

"We are humans, just as you, and we come from earth as well, just a... another earth. From a parallel reality where things went a bit differently. You see, humanity is on the brink of extinction there. Our continuous exploitation of natural resources and unstopped natural disasters caused by uncontrollable atmospheric heating made most of the planet uninhabitable over the last centuries. Wars broke out over the last resources and inhabitable lands, and now, all that is left are a few hundred thousand people. Luckily, our scientists came up with a solution. They discovered a technology that would allow us to travel to other realities. We were hoping of finding an uninhabited version of earth to settle down there. But every single version we scouted had humans on them and our time was running out. So, in order to survive, we found that we had no other choice but to invade one of our neighbor worlds. Naturally, we chose the most peaceful one. That was this world. "

Galya looked defeated. "I had my doubts in the beginning, but when the continued existence of our human civilization is at stake, a lot of difficult decisions begin to become really easy. At the end, we could live on by coming here, but we had no right to do the things we did. I see that now. So, today is the day that I knew was coming since four years ago, the day the consequences of our actions are catching up to us. I... we are at your mercy here. You cannot escape fate, so much is clear to me now."

Max felt sickened by what he heard. The actions of those other humans were despicable to the bone, that was clear. But they saw no other way to survive than to take away someone else's home and life. And yet, he still felt guilty about killing these people who had done nothing wrong themselves. He wanted to ask Galya how she could have allowed herself to commit such atrocities, but he also understood why she did it on the same time. It must have been hard for her to make that decision and knowing that she would probably die anyway made it easier to give up on her own morals.

"I'm sorry", said Max simply.

He was stunned silent for a good minute before asking: "Is everyone thinking like you do? Will they stand down and let themselves be brought to justice like you?"

"No." answered Galya sadly. "Most of them are desperate for survival and will do everything. If you kill me now, there might be a chance they flee to another world, but I don't think there is anything to gain by reasoning with them."

This wasn't fair! Why did Max have to decide for a whole world of people here and now? This wasn't even his time! Perhaps he could reach the scientists that brought him here, but they, too didn't appear to be the right people for making such a decision. They weren't big on morals, they were only good at problem solving.

Or perhaps...

Suddenly, Max got an idea.

"I think, there might be another way of resolving that. We need to bring in some friends of me."

***

"I suppose it *is* possible" said Sirah, skeptically. "But why do we need to involve ourselves in this mess?"

"Because if we don't," explained Max, "There will be more bloodshed. The invaders from the other world won't step down as easily as Galya did and you guys don't fight."

"Well, even if we do, it is dangerous for the fabric of reality itself. Or perhaps it isn't. We could not find out and there is literally no practical research." Edan stated.

"But only for *their* reality", said Antorn, who was already convinced. "I think that is a fair punishment for what they did to us. Besides, I'm fairly confident it won't be so bad. Max here has left his footsteps in history, and it didn't change much as far as we know. Perhaps it won't even work, but I don't think there is harm in trying."

"So, you are suggesting that we use your time travel technology to prevent us from ruining our planet centuries ago? Won't that lead to paradoxes?"

Sirah shook her head violently and rolled her eyes. "No, since you're not in the same frame of reference. It's a clever combination of our technologies, really. You go back to your reality, travel back in time and make stuff right. Of course, you are locked to your original timeline by the matrices, so if you were to return to your relative present, it would not have changed anything. That doesn't hold true for the rest of your people, though, since they are not in the same reality that you are altering. If they switch back after you have departed, they should arrive in the new version created by your actions."

Max' head was swimming, but apparently Sirah had already seen through the concept. She was really exceptionally bright.

"That... might work" said Galya slowly. "If we can promise them the return to a healed home world, everyone would be glad to leave you alone. Let's do this."

***

It took some months to create another time travel device and calibrate it to key events in the other realities history. As Galya promised, the solution appeared like the best option to all exodus people, and they stood down after a touching speech from Galya.

Max was celebrated as a hero during all that time and experienced the wonders of the future and all the comforts and amenities an advanced society could give him. During all that time he still had his hyper-masculine cyborg body and put it to good use.

However, the day after Galya, and shortly after, her people left this world, the three scientists who welcomed him to this time spoke to Max again.

"Well, the time to say goodbye comes closer." Said Edan in his usual complicated pattern of speech.

"You may of course stay here with us, but I think after all these adventures, you want to return to your own time and body once and for all." Said Sirah, smilingly. "I have built another time travel device, with just a single use. No more time travel after that - it makes things way too complicated."

"And we have come to the conclusion that this course of history is next to ideal", Edan added. "Changing something in our history could have unwanted results. "

"So, are you ready to go home", asked Antorn warmly.

Max was silent for a moment. Of course, he had thought a lot about going home in the previous months. But...

"Can I... go somewhere else instead?", Max asked, slowly.

"Ohh, I so knew it!" cheered Antorn.

"In short, yes." stated Sirah. "However, this will be a one-way-trip. Wherever you decide to go, you are going to be stuck there. If you want to return to your Viking lover, you can do so, but that's it. No more wonders of technology for you, no more Sweden or Canada or whatever."

"Actually, that's not entirely true.", Antorn said, now with a serious face again. "Do you remember, what I said about administering body-enhancing nanobots to someone and the difficult ethical situation around it?"

Max nodded.

"Well, part of it, the important part really, is, that the bots won't let you age properly. They always restore the cells back to a youthful state. Of course, at some point, the bots cease to function and can't keep up anymore, but... that takes some time."

"How long?"

"Well, that's a bit difficult to predict, since it hasn't happened yet since the invention of that stuff. But I guess... One, maximum two thousand years?"

Max looked at him stunned. "I'm not going to die for two thousand years?"

"Not from old age at least. I mean, you probably can you know, but you won't age for that time."

"Oh okay." Max said. He didn't expect that.

"My point being: With a bit of patience, you can go to Thjodolf’s time and still live to see your own time again. It might be a rather long stay, though." Antorn ended.

All three of them looked at Max expectantly. He took a moment and then made a decision.

"Alright. I need two favors of you.", he said.

It only took Sirah another day to reconfigure her matrices to Max' new destination and to tell the algorithm his request.

"You know guys", Max said, as he stood in front of the sleek device, "I'm going to miss you. I mean, you completely changed my life, but, in the end, I'm very happy about it. Perhaps it was fate that we met", he said with a wink.

"Oooh, that's a good name for the time travel algorithm. Fate. I like it.", mumbled Sirah absentmindedly.

"Now, remember. No big changes." Edan had a stern face. "I trust in your judgement here!".

Max nodded and grabbed the small metal vial from the table. "I promise. Well. I guess, this is farewell."

He pressed the single green button on the device and another portal appeared in the room, stable and swirling slowly. Max turned around again and waved goodbye, which was mirrored by the three scientists. Then, he took a deep breath and stepped into the portal.

Max arrived in the Viking age exactly one second after his previous self had stepped through the portal. He didn't use any time. His first request had been to keep his cyborg for a few minutes after he arrived. These minutes were more than enough to drive away the 'evil ones', the raiders attacking Thjodolf's village, for good. He made such an entrance that nobody ever dared to lay hand on these lands ever again.

His body was already changing back into that of the Viking warrior he left as, as he ran towards his lover. He couldn't believe his eyes, as Max had already returned, merely a second after he had gone. Still, it felt like so much time has passed between those two moments that Thjodolf was just happy to see him again.

Max stayed in the Viking village and with his lover forever. Well, forever is an awfully big word, but here, it might be nearer to the truth than at other times. Max had brought one more dose of the body-enhancing nanobots and, after explaining everything to Thjodolf, they decided to stay together for a really long, long time. Max was just so happy. After all his journey, he had finally found his fate.

I'm so happy for Thjodolf and Max! If you're with someone you love, every moment can feel like a thousand years of bliss.

If you want to read the whole story from the beginning, go here. The first part of the finale can be found here.

[valeriefauxnom]

South Grastea, Annotated (and the geography for why the Halidom is a prospective attacker's worst nightmare)

So, even if we got some info on geography for Grastea, keeping track of where exactly everything is can be tricky. Thus, I made a small, crude map to help give an idea of where the 'big' locations are, story-wise! Hopefully it helps any fic-writer out there who might want to have an easy consult for where stuff is.

Thus, Euden's path in the main campaign is as follows, as represented by this even cruder drawing wherein black lines are like ch 1-4, blue 5-9, yellow 10-14, purple 15 (the filled in white circle is 'start' in Sol Alberia, filled-in black circle is 'end' of South Grastea shenanigans at the border:

Some of these are guesses (Chanzelia to Clave Loy'elune and Clave Loy'elune to Murgia Village, ex) but others are evidenced or shown outright, like Euden's path from Sol Alberia to the Mistholt forest.

Still a terrible map, but it does show how Euden was bouncing everywhere. The early chapters do make a lot of sense: he approached the Halidom through its southern forest route, then left to leave through Myriage lake to approach Sol Alberia from the north, then got turned around and fled to Mt. Adolla. Guess Euden was lucky when deciding to then flee to the Halidom instead of running to nearby Leonidas for help, though!

Oh, and I also kinda have figured out the vaugeries of how the Halidom is even approachable, because it was kinda confusing as to how people could access it from the west if it only has that main drawbridge in its near-island position.

Long story short, it is still effectively an island, with the only 'permanent' bridge being the stone bridge from the southeast, but even that has a drawbridge they could pull. However, the Halidom does have a wooden rope bridge that goes to the west.

This can be better seen on my own picture (which also shows how the Halidom on the map would change depending on how far you've developed the Halidom!):

From a near distance, it looks like so:

This is where it becomes funny in the Blood That Binds, wherein most the family split up to try and bait the replica Alberius from all sides. Leonidas is to the north, Valyx the south, Chelle to the west, and Emile (and Phares) to the east.

But, as we can see, the only true feasible routes to march any decently-sized force through is the west and the south. Any other route would require a lot of swimming and then mountain-climbing to scale the rocky walls, which is not recommended to keep an energetic and safe force.

Thus, replica Alberius and his brutish strength decides to strike west, north, east, and then south. If I had to guess, Leonidas was put to the north to either be a one-man army himself by being able to fly over the lake separating him from the Halidom, or as a stealth source of reinforcements to either Emile or more likely Chelle to hopefully catch Alberius off-guard.

But Emile? Emile was likely put to the east just to keep him out of the action. And they still didn't trust him to lead that force well enough in case something did happen that they plunked Phares there to babysit!

Interestingly, the Halidom's layout has unique implications for the tunnel system that exists. We know it goes from outside the castle into it (and specifically into Euden's room at one point), but from where does the other side emerge? Is it still on the island, or is it a long long journey to the under the water surrounding the Halidom and under that, followed by a long climb up? We can see some more tunnels in the Halidom map in game, so who knows.

We also see Halidom strategy come into play for Gala Leif's story.

As we can see, it's technically possible to get very creative and 'make a route' from the east, likely in the form of a long bridge to span the gap between the island and the mainland. This, however, is still a very unconventional and dangerous endeavor (defenders just need to break the bridge), characteristic of Harle, and likely not a recommended warfare strategy if one dreams of attacking the Halidom.

Honestly, though, it's a phenomenal position defensively. The biggest risk would be a siege because of the easily cut-off routes in and out, but even that is mitigated by the presence of flying dragons that could carry food as well as its own mini-forest on the island they could cultivate and sustain a small force with. Its likely water supply also is hard to disrupt, being an absolutely massive lake surrounding it and entering via a waterfall, which would be hard to stop or poison entirely.

Last but not least, the weather is also favorable to defenders who know the land well, as Chelle explains in the Blood That Binds:

The water surrounding the Halidom, combined with its temperature swings from day to night, causes thick fog that a defender could utilize (even if it's not magically thick as it was in the very beginning). Yes, in this case, it's the offense taking use of it, but the replica Alberius, possessing Alberius' memories, had a 'defenders' knowledge that the rest of the family wouldn't know as well since Euden as the only current firsthand source of nitty-gritty details for how the Halidom works defensively had not shown up.

It really does sound like a nightmare for an invader. It's no wonder Euden is able to defend it with such a small standing force, and quite likely a bit part in why so many left him alone in the early stages; the time and resources it would require to truly root him out would be disproportionate.

So...yeah. There's a bit about Southern Alberian geography and why the Halidom is a defensive monster!

[celandeline]

Summer of Like // Farleigh Start x OC (13)

The night air is warm, still sort of sticky with the heat and humidity of the day, but still a welcome relief compared to the stuffy hell that is the guest bedroom across the hallway from Venetia’s room. 

It’s become sort of a habit, slipping outside to have a cigarette and enjoy the coolness of the night before I retreat back to bed. It’s not something I do every night, but something I do often enough that I’ve become familiar with the winding stone paths around the house and the way the moonlight casts the grounds in sharp definition. The cigarette is really only an excuse - it’s a wish for something extra - whether that be a hushed giggle from Venetia’s lips or the twinkle in Farleigh’s eye - my semi-nightly endeavors. 

The cherry of my cigarette burns red as I take a long drag, the smoke pooling in my lungs for a moment before I force it out my nostrils, the haze hovering around my head until I move on, following the path around the house. I round the corner slowly, and tap the ash off the end of my cigarette, letting it fall to the ground, mixing with the stones. 

My gaze wanders up the house, counting the lit windows, noting their placement. Venetia’s light is on - but there is no shadow in her room. She’s out and about - hopefully I’ll run into her before my cigarette burns out and I call it quits. I follow the path a bit more before the smell of smoke invades my nose, different, more pungent than a cigarette. And then-

“Eves.”

I turn, scanning the yard behind me for a halo of curls. Nothing. I look back in front of me, making sure to peer into the shadows as well as I can. Nothing.

“Up, baby.”

It’s teasing, like he is, but my stomach flips anyway. I cast my gaze upwards, towards the roof of one of the many outcroppings of the house, just underneath a window. Farleigh lounges against the tiles, an easy grin on his face and a joint in his hand, gently spewing a trail of smoke. 

“How’d you get up there?” I ask. 

He points to the window behind him. “But there’s some ivy on the side you can probably climb.”

It’s an invitation in different words, and one that I’m not going to turn down. I drop the remaining bit of my cigarette to the ground, and crush the flame under my flip flop. Stepping off the path, I come around the side of the room, where the ivy sprawls up the wall, almost to the roof. Farleigh watches me tug on the vines with a smile. 

“I’ve climbed that before, it’ll hold you.” He says. 

I grip around the trunk of the vines, and begin to haul myself upward. It’s clumsy, and my feet slip against the wall of the house, but I manage to make it up enough to grab Farleigh’s hand. With a grunt, he pulls me up the rest of the way, and I climb onto the roof. 

He grins, sitting back on his elbows. “Hi.”

“Hi.” I return, grinning just the same. This close, we speak hardly above a whisper, even though there is no one else to overhear us at this time of the night. 

He holds the joint up. “Want some?”

“Sure.” I take it from him, and slide it between my lips. The smoke is different from a cigarette, heavier, headier. But good all the same. “That’s good.” I say, passing it back. “What else is in there?”

“Lavender.” Farleigh says. 

Silence descends as the high starts to settle in, and I sit back next to Farleigh, and tilt my head to look at him. We just look at each other for a while - maybe thirty seconds, maybe thirty minutes - until he giggles, and then I laugh too. “Sorry,” I say between giggles. “I haven’t smoked in a while-”

“S’okay.” He cuts me off, passing me the joint. “I like it when you laugh.”

It might be the most honest thing he’s said to me in the month or so that I’ve known him. I really hope I’m not blushing, or that I can blame it on the high. “Is that why you always look at me after you make a joke?”

He licks his lips. “Maybe.”

I tilt my head, exhaling smoke through my smile. The high is truly settled in now, and the warm buzz under my skin causes a surge of confidence. “You can say yes.” I say, passing the joint back to him. 

Our fingers brush together as he takes it, and slots it back between his lips. He rolls his eyes, but says, “Yes.”

I smile, and properly lay down on the roof, making myself as comfortable as I can on the hard shingles, folding my hands over my stomach. It’s a clear night, and the sky is full of stars, the moon hovering amongst them, waning. I hear Farleigh exhale, and watch as his cloud of smoke drifts into my range of vision, dissipating in the air. 

“Do you do this a lot?” I ask. 

“No.” He says. I hear him shift, also moving to lay down. He keeps close, our legs brushing together as he sprawls. “Just sometimes. When I can’t sleep.”

“Oh.” I say. “You didn’t have to invite me up if you’re just trying to go to bed-”

“No, I wanted to.” He says. “I don’t-” He cuts himself off. Pauses. “I think we could be friends.”

“We could be friends.” I say, my stomach doing flips. I turn, so that I’m laying on my side, facing him. He mirrors my movement so that we’re almost nose to nose. “I’d like to be friends.”

The corner of his lips quirks upward. “Even though I called you a dog?”

I wrinkle my nose, and smile. “You’re right - nevermind.” I say. 

He breathes out a laugh, and takes another hit of the joint before passing it back to me. I take it - or rather what’s left of it. “Can I finish it off?” I ask. 

“Sure.” He says. 

His gaze doesn’t leave my lips as I take one last long drag, burning it down close enough that I can feel the heat of the ash just above my skin. I pluck the roach from my lips and stamp it out against the roof, leaving a circle of char on one of the shingles. No one will ever see it besides us, here, now. 

My eyes move from the ash back to his face. I let my gaze wander, tracing over everything - the shape of his eyebrows, the curls that dangle in front of his forehead, the slope of his nose, the perpetual bored smirk in the corners of his lips, the way the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles at me. There’s got to be something in this family’s genetics that predisposes them to beauty. 

“What?” Farleigh’s whisper breaks my concentration. 

“What, what?” I ask, grinning. I can feel the peak of the high coming on, my chest filled with tingling energy. 

“You’re just looking at me.” He says. 

“So are you.’ I shoot back. “You’re just looking at me.”

He scoffs, playful. “That’s not fair.”

“Why not?”

He says it like it’s obvious, like I should have realized it by now. “I’m always looking at you.”

I laugh, just a little. “Farleigh.”

“Eves.” He drawls, letting my name drip from his lips like water. 

“You’re the only one that calls me that.” I say. “Everyone else just calls me Evie.” It’s not a question, but I expect him to answer it like it is anyway.

And he almost does. He opens his mouth, like he’s going to say something, but whatever it is vanishes the moment the sound of someone’s footsteps on the path below us drift in our direction. We both sit up at the same time, peering down from the roof to see Venetia in the moonlight, rounding the corner in a see-through night dress. 

I shouldn’t look. But I do. 

Farleigh snickers. “You’re drooling.”

“Shut up.” I say, sliding towards the edge of the roof, fully intending to get her attention. 

He grabs my wrist, holding me back. “No don’t - c’mon.”

I turn back to look at him. “Why not?”

He doesn’t say anything, but I can see him thinking. I watch the wheels turn as he sorts through all sorts of excuses, his teeth sinking into his cheek as he ponders. 

A slow grin stretches across my face. “Why not Farleigh?” I ask, turning so that we’re face to face. I know why - of course I know. It’s the same reason he called me up here, the same reason he shared his joint, the same reason he’d paused before he said that he thought we could be friends. 

I watch his eyes dip down to my lips, and then back up. 

For a second, I think he’ll do it, but then the soft sound of Venetia’s voice sounds from a little ways away, and both of our attention is drawn to the noise, peering through the darkness. We see him at the same time.

“No.” Farleigh laughs mirthlessly. 

I watch as Oliver walks behind Venetia, who’s sitting on the stone ledge by the path stock still. I can’t hear what he says, but he must say something, because she sits straight up. He comes back around until he’s standing right in front of her, and then, slowly, sinks to his knees. 

“Oh my god.” I say, unable to tear my eyes away as I watch Oliver Quick disappear under Venetia’s skirt. 

Next to me, Farleigh’s voice is sharp. “You stupid little boy.”

< previous part | next part >

[princelylove]

Dear Prince,

Before I begin I just wanted to say I absolutely adore your writings as it hits the nail on the head for the characters personality every time and brings joy to my heart.

I’m usually rather shy but since it’s my birthday I decided to take a chance so if I may be so bold to ask what would it be like to have both Diavolo and Doppio share their darling? I can only imagine it to be both isolating and suffocating all at once.

Anyways thank you for all the wonderful writings I promise not to swallow them whole….at least today.

- peachy anon

Haaappy birth-day to youuu. Haaaappy biiiirth-day to-you. 

Aha. Why did you bring sizable utensils, anon? What are those for, anon? 

Asking for a protective and an obsessive together is like begging for no social life. You’re not extroverted, are you? Well, you’ll have plenty of social interaction with plural people! Two is the absolute minimum for plural, but it still counts. 

I dislike the common mischaracterization that Doppio wouldn’t stand up to Diavolo, partially because it’s also mischaracterizing Dia. Boss lightly suggests and guides poor, sweet Doppi, and Doppio does all the dirty work so Boss doesn't have to. Doppio has no problem telling him to just sit down, shut the fuck up, and let him handle it, though. Diavolo is the boss, duh, but sometimes Doppi just knows better. Who courted Donatella, huh? (Doppio says, as if he didn’t hate that entire thing and did it since Boss had zero chance of getting her himself.)

Still. Doppio relies heavily on Diavolo for long-term endeavors. He only knows how to take care of Diavolo, and… Dia isn’t the most normal individual. At least he blindly accepts your oddities. Doppio’s sweet, but he doesn’t understand that you cannot force someone who’s shy into a new environment, with a stranger, and have everything be alright. Why not? That’s practically how he met the boss! (Don’t ask him how he met ‘the boss.’)

Diavolo may know your needs better, and he's quite romantic, but he isn't really equipped to do it himself. That, and you cannot be casual with him, he’s just not the type of person you’d address informally. He’s also a terrible cook. And terrible at comforting you. Thankfully Doppio steps in where he’s lacking, but it’s not as if Diavolo is awful and Doppio is the easier option. 

There’s pros and cons to both of your options for what to do with your free time. Doppio has the advantage of, you know, not being a major creep, so you probably like him a bit more at the start, even though he’s clearly the one that took you. He doesn’t hide it, it’s not like he’s ashamed. Doppio’s pretty strong! If he can pick up Risotto then he can surely pick you up, for a little less violent (hopefully) ride back home. 

Doppio isn't very verbally affectionate, whereas Diavolo will smother you with every adjective and pet name he can think of. Sometimes he gets so overwhelmed (cuteness aggression, probably) that he can only make noses instead of proper words. Ohhh, you’re so cute, let him kiss youuu….. No kiss kiss? Just one kissy?

If you do not like change, it isn’t an easy adjustment. Diavolo demands that you all move from hotel to motel and back again, it’s safer that way. Now that he has you to worry about, which he really didn’t want to give in and take you just yet, he’s even more paranoid. There’s absolutely no wiggle room with him. You are allowed to have some sense of familiarity, but nothing too distinct or uncommon. Something that housekeeping wouldn’t think much of should you both need to momentarily step out. (Although he’d prefer to not do that.) 

A blanket or stuffed animal isn’t enough to help you adjust to an entirely new environment every two weeks or so, or every  month if he’s stable and Doppio is soothing him. It’s hard to feel like you aren’t intruding on their relationship, too, sometimes. They have their own dynamic and have loved one another for a long time, they’re both 33 by the time vento aureo takes place, so it’s… hard to socialize, even if they take the time to focus on you, and you obviously don’t see the two of them at the same time.

You'll learn, though. They can be bearable if you adjust to their lifestyle. Diavolo would never let his darling live a non-spoiled life, and Doppio is well intentioned despite how creepy he can be. You'll be taken care of.

[alchemicaladarna]

Well...Happy 1 year of QSMP I guess...

There's just no easy way to say anything about everything that's been happening the past few weeks and everything that's happened since yesterday because it's a fucking dumpster fire and I'm just so tired of it all to be honest...

But this post isn't about that.

I still want to celebrate this server's first year anniversary because of how much it means to me personally. I made a post talking about how I initially started watching the qsmp (two days early 💀) but I'll reiterate what I've always said:

That despite all the problems of the server, despite all the damage that has been done, never forget what it has managed to achieve and hopefully continues to achieve in the future, under better conditions.

The QSMP's mission was to unite people from all over the world to play together and be friends despite speaking different languages and having different cultures. It united communities and formed friendships across the globe. Personally, achieving that takes more than just sticking random people in the same room together because it's about making genuine connections that could last a lifetime. And the qsmp achieved that. I'll never stop saying this because despite all its glaring problems, the qsmp is revolutionary for all the good it has managed to do.

Ok, like think about the translations alone. I'm using Bad as an example because he's the only one so far that I've seen do this but, BBH has set up live translations of multiple languages on his screen so non-english speakers can still understand his streams and his vods even if he's not playing on the qsmp. That wouldn't have happened without the QSMP's influence. That's fucking incredible!

Think about all the CC's and admins that became friends after meeting on the server. Former admins like Lumi (Pomme) and Shade (Dapper) still talking to Bad on his chat and watching his stream. That's still really awesome! Not to mention all the amazing collaboration projects with many qsmp members outside minecraft like Ordem Paranormal and Liar Liar, to name a few.

Look, the last three weeks have been extremely difficult on everyone. I myself am tired of the situation and scrolling through the tag, especially after yesterday, just makes me sad tbh. For the first time since these weeks, I felt so despondent and shocked about everything. It got to the point where, after Shade and Lumi announced their departure, I called my mom and broke down sobbing and vented about the whole admin situation. And bless her heart, my mom actually listened and I'm going to share the advice she gave me:

"Let them fix the problem. Let the company do the restructuring they need to do because right now, it sounds like they have a lot of problems to fix. It's going to take a long time before things can go back to any sense of normalcy, so while they do that, focus on yourself for now. If you're so invested in all the problems of this online world, maybe it's time to step back for now. Maybe it's time to focus on the real world."

And well, she's right. I've been so upset about the situation that my mental health wasn't faring well because of it. Yesterday was kind of a wake up call for me I guess?

I've been in this fandom for 10 months now. It's the longest time I've been invested in a community and qsmp has and will always have a special place in my heart. But I think it's time to let go and move on for now. I'll keep my hopes up and hope that the future is bright, and the qsmp will continue because it has so much potential to achieve more greatness, but I'll leave the project to rest and focus on other endeavors for now.

I'll be posting art and checking in on stuff from time to time, and of course, I'll be watching BBH, but it might be time to depart and say, "Thanks for everything, and I'll see you later."

Most people will be ashamed to mention the fandoms they've been a part of when they were younger, but 10 years from now, if anyone ever asks if I was a part of the qsmp fandom, I'll gladly say yes and tell all the good stories I have about it.

I love the community we made here on qsmpblr, and if I trust the QSMP's mission of uniting people, then I trust that, no matter what happens, this community will be here when I return.

Because...Despite everything, it's all about love, right? And no matter what happens, the love is still there, and will always be.

Thank you for the journey <33

[a-land-lacking-sleep]

Surprise Electric Trains Status Update!

No, this is not me saying the next chapter is coming out this week, nor am I ending the story. This chapter is taking awhile - I know that, and I am honestly annoyed about it too. The cause boils down to I have less and less free time compared to when I started the fic!

Since I last posted in April, my work time (40 hours a week) and stream time (8-14 hours a week) have stayed roughly the same, but I have picked up additional projects. Back in April, I was accepted into In Pursuit of Victory, and while I am soooo glad I was in that, I wrote two chapters worth of fic for it, which put Chapter 20 on hold (Together, those were just shy of 8000 words, which is about 90% of what I expect Chapter 20 to be). And after I finished work on it, I was pretty burnt out with writing. I also took 2 vacations since then (a family vacation in July, which was when I finished my second zine piece, and one in September to visit my girlfriend), where very little work got done. I've also been posting my stream VODs to Youtube for the first time, so I spend a lot of time after work or on days off editing and rendering videos, making thumbnails, and recording outros. I also have several D&D games going on, so there are several nights where I just... Can't do anything else. I have also started about 6 WIPs in that time, some ranging from a single paragraph, and others being several pages long.

I plan to get Chapter 20 out by Thanksgiving (Nov. 28th), and will endeavor to have Chapter 21 (hopefully shorter) out by the 2 year anniversary for the fic (Dec. 23rd). I also have a few companion posts to put up for the fic, mostly Elio's Team and I believe Akari's Team. This fic isn't dead, I promise you! I'm just very worn out and taking it slower than I'd like.

And, as a peace offering, have a sneak peek at Chapter 20! (ft. a cameo from Zisu and Wenton)

The twins were both out at the same time, and no time was wasted as they threw out their next set of Pokémon. Gliscor and Elektross hit the field, while Staraptor and Decidueye flared out their wings in preparation to attack. Then, in what some would confuse for a lapse of attention as the four trains threw their hands out in commands, the Pokémon were all in different positions. Gliscor, bruised and breathing heavily, hovered over a defeated Decidueye, while Staraptor was blown back into the dirt in front of Akari, her feathers slightly charred. 

As Eelektross trills and swirls in place, Wenton steps to the edge of the arena with a hand up to stop the trainers. “Ok, I know most of you probably got that,” he says, looking to the pair of trainers, then back to Zisu and Cynthia, “but what just happened?”

“Oh, thats easy!” Akari says, recalling Staraptor back into her Pokeball. “Zisu, do you wanna come help show him?”

“Oh, I see where you’re going with this,” Cynthia says as she laughs into her hand, while Zisu follows Akari’s direction to stand in front of Ingo.

Akari, Zisu, Elio, and Emmet step into the field, in the relative places their Pokémon had stood. “So, Gliscor moved first,” Zisu starts, stretching her back out. “He went for an Aerial Ace against Elio’s Decidueye.” 

“And Decidueye was going to hit Eelektross with a Spirit Shackle, since he’s a physical attacker!” Elio cuts in, taking the chance to adopt an archer’s pose and pull back the imaginary arrow. “If we could confine him, even just a little, we could get an advantage.”

“But Gliscor moved faster!” Ingo says from his spot at the edge of the field. “Specifically with an Agile Style.” On cue, Zisu jogs over towards Elio, hand raised to prepare a mimed slash. 

“But Staraptor was even faster, with an Agile Close Combat!” Akari swoops in and tackles Zisu, causing the woman to stumble and laugh out loud as the teenager pummels her midsection. “It wasn’t ever going to be enough to take out Gliscor, it was mostly to soften him up.”

“Good call, yup!” Emmet comes over to pry Akari from Zisu, and the woman continues her path to Elio, ‘striking’ them down. The Alolan Champion puts their hand over their heart and dramatically spins before falling down next to their Decidueye. “Of course, that left a perfect opportunity for Eelektross.”

Stepping over to his Pokémon, Emmet takes off Eelektross’ magnet, and drapes it around his neck. “I am Eelektross!” Turning on his heel, he leans back and points a finger gun at Akari with a deadly smirk. “I saw that the Staraptor was open. Using my trusty Magnet, I shot out a Thunderbolt and landed a critical hit!” Akari lets out a squawk and collapses into the dirt where her Staraptor had lain. 

With everything now settled, Ingo turns his chair to face Wenton. “As so energetically shown, that is what you missed. Do you have any further questions?”

[intersexalastor]

rehash of that one civilian dabitwice au where touya's childhood comes back to rear its ugly head

touya and jin have been friends for a while, but they (unknowingly) dip into something more from time to time, much to the frustration of the league and touya's siblings. they do, at some point, become lovers, but things take an odd sort of turn right from the beginning

touya moves out of his childhood home and into jin's apartment pretty quickly. which really isn't that big of a change, as he practically lived there anyways.

but something in touya's brain flips a switch. he spent a good chunk, see: most, of his life trying to earn his father's approval and love to no avail. to the point of burning himself multiple times, to the point that his body couldn't handle the stress. stress that's left long-lasting effects on him to this day.

even if he never truly verbalized it growing up and maybe still doesn't grasp the full repercussions of the way endeavor treated him, touya internalized two "truths" in the world as taught (regardless of intention) by enji: 1. love is transactional. one must earn love, it will not be freely given. 2. in some way, there is something wrong with him that prevents him from earning the privilege of love. thus, if he ever wants to be loved, he must constantly work to hopefully one day prove to others (and himself) that he is worthy of being loved, even at the detriment to his health and well-being.

as friends, their relationship was easy. friendship has such layers that it was easy for him to simply describe his relationship with jin as something casual, rather than the deeply personal friendship that had taken root.

but once they become lovers... well, that's just serious. no way around that. and some old network of nerves that, really, have always been active, seem to be buzzing with activity all of a sudden. now it's generating something like compulsion.

the dynamic between them has gotten strange. despite touya now officially living with jin, they see each other less and less. though they work the same hours, touya's taken up all the cooking. and the cleaning. and the laundry. the shopping. errands. bills. jin need not lift a finger. whenever he thinks of something needing done, touya's either finished with it or is in the process of doing it.

that means jin is on the couch twiddling his thumbs as he listens to touya, who more or less chased him out of the kitchen, make dinner. or taking a smoke break as touya sets yet another world record for folding a basket of laundry. he just wants his friend back. he's wondering if they went too fast or maybe this entire thing was a mistake.

jin notices the strangeness right away, but it's so unlike touya in a way that he doesn't really know how to respond. he tells himself that things are changing and maybe this is touya's way of dealing with it and he'll calm down soon? and he doesn't want to push it too hard, they're just budding as a partnership. (and it's not like either have a whole lot of relationship experience--romantic or otherwise. they spent most of their lives isolated, for one reason or another.)

it's when they start to toe the line of physical intimacy that jin starts to lowkey freak the hell out. it's always, ALWAYS one-sided. touya isn't reluctant or uncomfortable, that jin can tell anyway. he seems to be more than just willing to engage with jin's dick, which is always the first (and only) to get off. when jin tries to reciprocate in any shape or form, touya immediately shuts it down. either touya immediately loops back the focus to jin or, if jin has already gotten off, stops cold turkey with excuses that he's suddenly tired or he's sore from work or something despite what they'd just been doing.

touya, on some level that he might not yet be fully aware of, is just trying to prove that he's worthy of this relationship. if he just makes everything comfortable for jin, if jin doesn't have to put any work in and gets to reap all of the benefits, then jin will value him. maybe, eventually, even love him.

and around this same time, things are falling apart. natsuo and fuyumi don't fully realize what's going on, but they see touya putting in effort to a real friendship turned relationship and they're happy for him, encouraging him, even. praising him, in a way. they don't see that he's completely wearing himself out, but their words only reaffirm to touya that he's doing the right thing.

the league all live nearby, or in the same damn hall, so they also notice something is weird. (not to mention that some of jin's comments paint a very strange picture). they're not trying to meddle, but they're starting to poke the problem.

touya can't keep up. the workload is too much. he's not getting enough sleep and he's taken zero time to unwind. the stress is getting to him, erasing his appetite and muddling his brain.

until jin confronts him. it was bound to happen. it's a fight, for sure. lots of raised voices or just straight up yelling. touya falling apart, because there's no way he can hold it together, not now. and jin squeezing him tight, gathering up the pieces, promising that they'll figure this all out but this one-sided treatment has to stop.

[intrepiddreamx]

Hi I love DT so much, exactly the kind of fic I enjoy reading multiple times :3

I have a question tho, does Spider have a thing for Meren? Some of his lines seemed kinda flirty, and Variks seemed extra grumpy about him interacting with her.

Looking forward to seeing how the story progresses, it's been a great read!

Hey, thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Even on subsequent reads! ::3

As for your question(s), the answers may take a bit of elaboration, but I'll do my best not to ramble on for too long.

First off, does Spider have a "thing" for Meren?

If this is meant in a romantic manner, the short answer is No.

I don't claim to be a Spider expert, but I think it's safe to say that he only really cares about one person - himself. Spider does what's good for Spider. In doing so, his character has a tendency to "endear" himself to anyone who may be useful to him and his endeavors (e.g. his flattery towards the Guardians during the opening bits of the Forsaken expansion). All of this, of course, is a facade.

With Meren, Spider started off with the tactic of intimidation, but upon realizing her full potential of utility, began to shift toward a more congenial approach. Think how much more impressionable Meren could be if she saw Spider as a friend as opposed to a ruthless mob boss! Think of all the extra books he could get! All the information! And so forth. Hence, the vaguely flirty comments in their latest interaction.

This wasn't directly a question, but you noted that Variks "seemed extra grumpy about [Spider] interacting with [Meren]". Why is that?

Though not explicitly stated in the story (since it's not from Variks' perspective), it can be inferred that Variks has been offering Meren a curated experience during her Reef visit. Most notably how he's intentionally been keeping her from the worst of The Horrors™ of the Prison of Elders, along with some of the less-than-illustrious bits of his own personal history. Keep in mind that these omissions are intentional. Much like Spider, Variks is keen on not upsetting Meren, and thus far in DT, he's kept the unpleasantness on a drip feed so as not to immediately drive her away. Because...reasons.

Now, imagine Spider, who's had a front row seat to Variks' shenanigans with the House of Wolves and later the Awoken (this includes his tenure as Warden of the Prison of Elders). Given that history, Spider's most certainly privy to information Variks hasn't seen fit to share with Meren (yet). How easy would it be for him to divulge some of Variks' messier secrets? A few choice words and Meren's carefully cultivated conception of the Scribe is ruined. Or, best case, conflicted. Of this fact, Variks is fully aware.

(As a side note - that's not to say Spider would actually do that. He currently has no reason to dredge up dirt on Variks that would send Meren into a tizzy. But the potential is there.)

Apart from the threat posed by the knowledge Spider holds, there's an additional aspect of jealousy on Variks' part that contributes to his grumpiness. Truth is, Variks really does enjoy educating Meren on the various aspects of Eliksni culture. He enjoys her company, and moreover, her curiosity about his people's culture gives them an excuse to spend long evenings together, talking over tea once the day's work is done.

But once again, enter the Spider problem.

Spider, though not Riisborn, knows enough about Eliksni culture that he could theoretically step in and educate Meren. Doubtless, she'd be all too happy to oblige. This would ultimately steal Variks' thunder, as it were, and significantly impact the time Variks gets to spend with Meren. Can't have that! Nor could Variks tolerate any inaccuracies Spider may be spreading. House Judgement knows best and all that.

So, hopefully that answers your question...in no less than half a treatise.

Anyway, thank you for the ask, anon, and thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble about the blorbos. Always happy to answer DT and/or Meren-related questions!

[sheliesshattered]

The silk pillowcases and eyecover I mentioned in my big sewing projects post two weeks ago are done, finally!

Like a lot of my creative endeavors, this felt like it should be a really simple and straightforward project, but it ended up taking two or three times as long to complete as I thought it would. It's just rectangles with basic straight seams, how long could it take?

I machine washed and dried the fabric on Wednesday and only just finished the last bit of sewing now, after sunset on Saturday. I over exerted myself in the first half of this week, so after that I had to be extra careful about pacing my activities and forcing myself to take breaks just as soon as anything started to hurt. With how weird and dislocation-prone my joints are, repetitive stress type injuries can happen really easy, from basic things like pinning or handsewing, or even just leaning over my sewing table for too long. I had a brief reckless moment on Wednesday when I thought I might be able to finish this whole three piece project in a single day (while doing five loads of laundry!), but I quickly let that self-destructive thought go, lol. Pacing is a never-ending battle for me, but it's so worth it.

I also wanted to take the time and care to sew these well, so hopefully they'll stand up to nightly use and weekly washings for many years to come. The fabric is a 100% silk satin charmeuse in navy blue from DharmaTrading at a 19.5mm weight, which turned out to be a perfect match for our navy blue (cotton jersey) sheets. Machine washing and drying the silk gave it a bit of a sueded look, but ironing brought the sheen right back. Going forward I'm probably just going to toss these in with the dark wash in a delicates bag and not worry about ironing them when they're just going to be slept on anyway.

But since I know I want to be able to machine wash these, I wanted to make sure there are no raw edges and all my seams are nice and strong. For the pillowcases that meant turning under and top-stitching the cuff at the opening and doing French seams along the side and bottom. For the eyecover, I folded the fabric over until it was 8 layers thick and all the raw edges were turned towards the inside, then top-stitched all the layers together. The pillowcases are definitely the nicer sewing job, but all three pieces should be sturdy enough to endure what I plan to put them through.

I've never had any silk bedding before, but I've read that it's better for your hair and skin, which is what prompted this project in the first place, after a conversation on that topic with Jack. This is only my third time sewing with silk, and first time with a satin charmeuse, after sewing with silk brocade and silk organza for my Rhaenyra cosplay last year. The charmeuse is at least as wiggly as those two were, but tearing the fabric on the grain and working all in symmetrical rectangles that ran from selvedge to selvedge really did help keep the wiggliness to a minimum. But even then, I had to pin the hell out of each and every seam just to keep it from moving around while I sewed.

I'm also realizing that for the silk velvet projects I intend to sew before the winter holidays arrive, I really should just bite the bullet and buy a velvet pressing board. All three of the other silk fabrics I've worked with have benefited from frequent pressing while sewing, and I'd hate to not be able to do that with the velvet for fear of crushing the pile. I did get all the wrinkles out when I washed it on Monday, and now it's hanging up with pins through the selvedge, so hopefully it won't get wrinkled much at all and it'll really just be a question of pressing seams as I sew.

That'll be a whole other sewing adventure, and one I should probably start sooner rather than later, given the way that all my projects lately seem to take so much longer than I expect them to. I still have like 10+ different things I want to sew before midwinter, and arguably my best option is just to do like I did this week, working on it a little bit at a time every day until it's finally, finally done.

[goodman-telletubbie]

This piece has been a journey. The journey's not over, but from a long-term perspective, I may have gone further on this than I should have.

From my perspective, the mental hurdles of starting something / stopping for whatever reason and the physical limits of this frame my spirit inhabits is like a serial inductor-capacitor circuit.

For the inductor, it's my mentality. It takes a bit for me to spur up to operating levels, and it also takes a bit before everything calms down, much like inductor that resist changes in current.

The physical side, or Capacitance, prohibits indefinitely firing on all cylinders in a sense. The more effort I put into something, the more the capacitor charges up and therefore resists further charging. It's like how the first rep in an exercise is usually the easiest, while firing the associated muscles for the last rep is scrounging for whatever remains are left, almost more of a mental thing than a physical thing.

All that is to say that my mental inductance far out classes my physical capacitance. I think the biggest thing to fix this starts with proper physical rest. It's easy for me to overexert myself physically because I like to believe that mentally, I have no bounds. I therefore don't give proper physical rest since it feels like a waste of time when I feel ready to continue and then don't.

Fixing this has a few requirements - First, I'd like to increase my physical capacitance. I need to get better at sustained high-effort long-term, in all areas, not just drawing. Second, I'll need to get better at starting and stopping with stuff. Mental drive is important, so I can't decrease that, but getting up to working conditions and returning from those conditions better is a valid concern. Third, I'll need a balance such that my mental inductance and physical capacitance cancel each other out. The Fourth, but easily the most important, is learning how to rest.

This'll likely be the hardest since it also requires mentally being okay to rest. It's not that I feel every second I should be working, but it is hard to rest when I'm not happy with my surroundings, especially if I think I can do more to change things. I think the first step in learning how to properly rest is to feel safe resting. On that note, I will be taking a rest for a bit. In part was the stuff explained above, but also in part due to some brachial injuries, and also in part due to a schedule change as I hopefully secure some income.

Back to the piece itself, I'm happy with everything for the most part. I still need practice with hands and maybe a few tweaks to the software that breaks anatomy down, as it was difficult to tell where the hip bones were and how to articulate the ribcage, but I put a lot of effort into this, and I think it shows, so I think I did good for now. My hope now is that I rest long enough to be re-invigorated with this endeavor without quitting during everything like the July Kirby drawing endeavor I had.

[diinferi]

ORIGIN 

[PIRATE] You grew up wishing for a life of Freedom and thought of no better way to achieve that than by raising the black flag and striking it out as a Pirate! Though you will be hunted down by those who fly the Marine's flag, it's a small price to pay for the freedom that you now possess. Hopefully you have the strength to keep what you love beside you.

RACE 

[HUMAN] All across the seas, humanity can be found in every nook and cranny. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, from the normal to the outright bizarre, with heights ranging from four feet to thirty, and even multiple elbows on their arms. Honestly, it would be easier to name all the body types that don't exist.

LOCATION

[SHELL TOWN] A small island with a sizable marine base. While the only thing of note is the crazy Marine Captain ruling it like a dictator, if you’re willing to wait a short while, two strangers will eventually deal with that problem entirely and after that, they’ll simply head out. Maybe you can join them.

PERKS

[EPITHET] In a world of kings and legends, one must have a title of their own in order to stand out from the rest of the common rabble. You have a simple epithet that embodies who or what you are, is easy for people to remember, and causes those who hear it to feel awe, respect, or fear, depending on your reputation.

[A PIRATE’S LIFE FOR ME] And what a life it is! To travel these great blue waters, going from island to island, never knowing what adventure lies just beyond the horizon. You seem to benefit greatly from this, as no matter where you go, you will run into opportunities for great adventures, their rewards just as great as the effort you put into accomplishing them. You can of course toggle this on and off, but why would you ever do that?

[CHAOTIC FREEDOM] You are a pirate, one who has embraced their freedom and has endeavored to be the biggest headache around. This desire for freedom of yours has manifested itself in a chaotic manner, making it nearly impossible for you to be predicted. Even the greatest users of Future Sight would only get vague glimpses of you before their vision ended. And that part about being a headache? Well, it seems like the plans of those around you always tend to go awry whenever you're involved, often in the worst ways possible if they're your enemies.

[DIVERSE HUMANITY] Despite what you may think, there are an untold number of various offshoots of humanity, which you can be a part of. You've got the Long-Arm Tribe, the Long-Leg Tribe, the Snakeneck Tribe, you've got people with horns, third eyes, multiple legs, technicolor hair, even those who are just a few feet shy of being giants themselves. Of course, you could just be a regular person if that sort of wackiness isn't your thing.

[FIGHTING STYLE] An immensely useful skill on these dangerous waters, you are now skilled at any fighting style of your choice. Whether you wish to fight with only your feet, with three swords, a bizarre martial art, or just be a street brawler, you can definitely kick some ass. You will start off as an adept, but with an additional purchase you would be considered a master. This can also be purchased multiple times for different fighting styles.

[VETERAN SAILOR] In this world, where the sea is an ever-present entity, it helps when one knows how to traverse it. You are now a master of sailing any type of water-based vehicle. Whether it be a dinghy, a junk, a galleon, or even a submarine, they are all vessels designed to traverse through water, and under your guidance they will cut through the waves to witness a thousand sunrises.

[ADAPTIVE MINDSET] Those who cannot adapt to changing times are doomed to fall behind and get left in the dust. This is not a problem for you, for regardless of whatever scenario or complication you come across, you can quickly adapt to it and come up with some sort of answer to surpass whatever stands in your way, or at the very least, survive.

[CAT BURGLAR] Pirates are the most famous brand of criminals around, but not the only kind, as you can no doubt prove. You are now skilled in all kinds of dirty tricks, even being able to spot such things whenever others are using it against you. Throwing sand in the eyes or pickpocketing a few wallets is the least of the mischief you can get up to.

[HAKI TRAINING] While much of this world is more scientific than it seems, that does not mean the spiritual is useless. Capable of turning your will into a weapon and shield, you have mastered the basic uses of Armament Haki and Observation Haki. With Armament, you can reinforce yourself or objects and can bypass the defenses of those thought untouchable. With Observation, you can sense the presence, strength, and emotions of others. With time and training, you would be able to project your Haki without a medium to attack others from the inside or see into the future to such an extent that were you a Logia, even the might of Armament could not touch you.

[WILL OF D] Ah, so you count yourself a member of that infamous clan? Those natural enemies of the gods, the D's, are all said to possess the luck of the devil. Indeed, it seems like you've inherited that luck, for so long as you work towards a goal, no matter how difficult or seemingly impossible it is, fate will always conspire for you to succeed. Another aspect of the D clan is their inability to be controlled by any force they don't allow. Much like them, it's difficult for you to be mind controlled, and most manipulations are outright ignored.

[SILVER TONGUE] Humanity's greatest advantage has never truly been their physical qualities, whether it be strength, speed, endurance or vitality. Instead, their true talent lies communication, in their ability to speak and convince others to join their cause. And like the greatest of men, you find yourself possessing a powerful charisma, one that could charm and convince others, attracting them to flock to your banner with ease. Should you back up your talk with action, then you could quickly gather a truly massive and loyal following in no time.

[SURGICAL STRATEGIES] Not everyone can simply rely on pure luck, but you’re one of those who can create your own luck. Your masterful plans are intensely precise and intricate, able to reach years, or even decades, into the future with little chance of failure. Only the most random or chaotic of variables could throw off your schemes, and even then, you can still find a way to use the chaos to your advantage to achieve your goals.

[SIX POWERS] A superhuman martial arts style primarily utilized by the Marines, a master of this bizarre style is said to have the strength of a hundred men. Hardening the body to become iron-like, relaxing the body to act like paper in the wind, poking with the force of a firearm, kicking the ground hard enough to dash at speeds that can’t be tracked, kicking with enough force and precision to turn the air into a blade, and kicking off the air so hard that it gives the illusion of flight. These are the powers offered to and with time and training, you will be able to combine them together and perhaps, once mastery is achieved, a Seventh Power shall make itself known.

ITEMS

[BASIC GEAR] Well, you can't exactly start your adventure with nothing! You are now in possession of a set of custom designed clothes, along with two finely crafted weapons, a pistol and a sword.

[FLAG] Among the seas, everyone bands together under notable flags. From the Yonko to the World Government to some small-time pirate crew, you can't get away from these symbols. Now, you are in possession of your very own. It is designed to your own specifications, and it could be that of a faction you are a part of, strongly agree with, or your own personalized Jolly Roger.

[DEVIL FRUIT ENCYCLOPEDIA] It cannot be understated that there are so many Devil Fruits that can be found in these seas. It’s miracle that anyone can actually tell them apart from each other. But with this handy-dandy book, that won’t be much of a problem for you. Not only is this encyclopedia filled with entries and pictures regarding every type of Devil Fruit, it’s also chock-full of handwritten notes showing you unique and clever tricks on how to utilize and combat them. Nifty, huh?

[ARMORED CLOTHING] Not everyone is content with just wearing their ordinary clothes into battle, preferring something with a bit more durability to it. With this, not only are the clothes of your own custom design, but it’s also capable of resisting low-caliber gunshots as well as slashing. As a bonus, you’ll find that this set of clothes will even repair itself over the course of a day.

[LOG POSE] With how strange this world is, there is no question then as to why a tool like this is so invaluable. A different and special kind of compass, a Log Pose is used in place of regular compasses to traverse the first half of the Grand Line due to compasses not working properly in such a... unique locale. It does this by locking onto an island’s unique electromagnetic signature. After this Jump, this Log Pose will point you into the direction of interesting places or where special events may be occurring, guiding you into the direction of adventure.

[NEWSPAPER] No matter who you are, the world does not revolve around you. A million events are going on at the same time, and it can be hard to keep up with all of it. Luckily, you've subscribed to a newspaper that lets you know all of the most important events from across the world, all delivered in the morning. The writers do seem a bit biased, though...

[MEDICAL KIT] It's a general rule of thumb that you're eventually going to get injured on these waters, so it wouldn't hurt to be prepared. This high-quality medical kit has all sorts of bandages, medicinal drugs and herbs. It’s usually enough to stabilize most wounds that aren’t outright serious.

[SAVINGS] Money makes the world go round? Not entirely true, but money is nevertheless still quite the important and useful commodity. Thankfully, you’ve got around 500,000 Beli to do with as you see fit! Of course, you can purchase this multiple times for more money.

[UNUSUAL WEAPON] So you weren't content with just a pistol, sword, or your own fists? Well, if you want to be that way, then this is your option. Made from high-quality materials, this can be anything from a fancy dagger to a portable cannon, even a brick on a string if that's your choice. So long as it's physically possible, you can probably get it.

[TRANSPONDER SNAILS] There are no phones in this world, only Transponder Snails. You gain one for yourself and each Companion you have, with all of the snails looking like snail versions of you and your Companions. Simply tap the snail on the head, state the name of someone with another Transponder Snail, and enjoy talking to them from the other side of the world. Beyond that, they’re little more than simple snails with strange features. Strange but nothing out of the ordinary here. As a bonus, you also receive a small but thick book revolving around the Transponder Snails. With this book, you can learn how to breed new snails and modify the ones you already to grant them new features such as projecting images and videos.

[SEASTONE UPGRADE] Perhaps the basic weapons of this world are not enough for you and if so, there’s this. With this, you may upgrade any weapon in your possession with Seastone, increasing its durability and rendering it capable of nullifying the abilities of Devil Fruit users, regardless of whatever fruit they consumed. For ranged weapons, you’ll receive a replenishing stock of ammunition imbued with Seastone. Beyond this Jump, this upgrade to your weapon will even allow it to strike any opponents and objects that would normally be intangible or immune to ordinary weapons.

SCENARIOS None

DRAWBACKS

[ROMANCE DAWN] Well, it seems as though you've caught a certain someone's eye. That's right, Monkey D Luffy has decided that you're an interesting enough person that he wants you as a member of his crew!

[BEFORE THE BEGINNING] Of course, not everyone wants to start off with the beginning of the story, being much more interested in the prologue. You can start anytime in this world’s history you want, from when Shanks gave Luffy his straw hat, to the height of Gold D Roger's reign as the King of the Pirates, to the time of the original Joy Boy and even the Void Century nearly nine hundred years ago, all the way back when the Shandorians first colonized Jaya.

[FILLING OUT THE STORY] In a world of adventures, what’s the harm of experiencing a few more? At your discretion, you may incorporate any and all filler or movies into your adventure here. Help infiltrate the stories G-8 or have fun at an island-sized Casino Ship!

[EXTENDED STAY] There is so much to see within these grand waters, so much so that you could not possibly experience everything that it has to offer in just ten short years. Thankfully, you can now extend your time here by an additional ten years with each time this option is taken, though you will only benefit from the first five.

[HUNGRY] You are someone who is defined by their gluttony. After long periods of exertion or a fight, you almost immediately start craving enough food to make up a horse. That’s not hyperbole, as that would just be a light snack compared to your actual meals.

[PAIN SPONGE] Much like the eaters of the Dark Dark Fruit, you now soak in more damage and pain than before, nearly twice as much as before. It is certainly going to be a problem if you’re ever in an extended fight, and Goda help you when you end up stubbing your toe on something. This can be taken multiple times, increasing the damage and pain to three, four, even five times what you normally would have, though you will only benefit from this four times.

[TROUBLED PAST] Not everyone has the best of childhoods, their past filled with pain and torment. It seems that you suffer from such trauma, the scars still fresh and leaving you shackled to the past. It may take a while to heal, for the scars to fade, but it will never leave you, most certainly influencing some of your choices.

[CHAOS MAGNET] Why oh why do these things keep happening to you? Getting roped into political plots, being stranded on a crazy island, massive monsters that have rarely been seen, there is no end to your string of horrid situations. It just seems like all the craziest stuff and the worst kind of trouble are attracted to you, and nothing you do will let you escape this never-ending insanity.

[WANTED] Well now, it seems as though you've made more than a few enemies, or just made too big a name. You can now say that you've got a sizable bounty on your head. Whether it’s the World Government or an independent faction, you are now worth at least 100,000,000 Beli. Alive, or dead. You can take this drawback multiple times, though you will only benefit from the first five.

ENDING

[A NEW ADVENTURE] While this has been fun, there are other worlds out there just waiting to be discovered! You receive a miniature of the Thousand Sunny in a bottle.

[gracethyomen]

Arms Length Away: Masterlist

“The awful thing is that no matter how much you hold her at arm's length, she's still going to love you. Because you gave her just enough hope that she'll always wonder if you care about her the way she cares about you.”

Natalie is the paralegal that's been in love with Matt since she's known him.

Unbeknownst to her, Matt knows all too well how she feels about him, but tries to keep her at arms length to keep her safe.

When she starts to get dragged into the underbelly of hell's kitchen he calls home, some things can no longer remain hidden, and some emotions aren’t so easy to control.

I've had a few random drabbles outlining this story for a long time, and I posted a small excerpt a few days ago including a little spicy tidbit. As I write more of this story in actual full sentences I'm going to try to put them in chronological order here. I posted the original snippet first but I'm hoping I can put it in order eventually depending on how this little endeavor goes.

So without further ado, here's what I've got so far.

Warning: This story and most posts on my blood are MDNI. For depictions of violence, sexual content, language, and unhealthy relationship dynamics. Please don't model relationships after Matt and Natalie, many parts of their relationship are not all that healthy. I wrote them this way because Matt and Natalie are flawed characters, and the flaws of each character in Daredevil are some of my favorite parts of the show. Keep this in mind when reading, please. There are more warnings for this series but they will most likely be labeled specifically on individual chapters.

X: not uploaded yet, drafted.

R: not uploaded, not drafted.

O: uploaded and added to the master list.

Vague Job Description. (O)

Clear Cut Case. (O)

Complicated. (O)

Loose Tongue. (O)

Stairs. (O) (Care about you pt. 1)

Micro-Changes. (O) (Care about you pt. 2)

World On Fire (O)

Manhattan Native Obituaries Column. (O)

Things We Lost in The Fire (O)

Something old. (X)

Nelson v. Murdock (X)

The People v. Natalie Bishop (X)

End of Season 1. Both of DD and ALA.

Hopefully season 2 after some more drafting.

a/n: Thank you to everybody who read the first two excerpts of this story and for enabling my chaotic writer brain. @abucketofweird you are the main reason I'm publishing most of this so thank you for your interest.

[sheisintransit]

...and now for something a little more personal.

Hello again, if you’re here I guess you’re lost or you endeavor to witness the manic quarter life crisis I am currently having. 

Whichever the case-here’s the deal. For what feels like a long time now*, it has felt like somewhere back there, at some rest stop in the middle of the night or in a barstool in New Orleans, I lost the spark that used to make me feel like “me”. 

*I have been questioning my realistic relationship with time as of recent due to my new discovery of something called ‘Trauma Brain’.

When I was younger, I started writing every night on my Tumblr (that I probably thought was more popular than it actually was) after my shows on tour. I would write about people I met, how I was feeling, I guess I was decompressing.* 

*note; there were NOT as many easy ways to share your daily life back then, youth.

I had this wild fantasy I would write a book by the time I was 25, but I guess I was busy at SXSW that year. I do still have almost it’s entirety on a hard drive. Maybe I’ll plug it back in sometime.

I haven't quite figured out why I stopped, and even worse, I can’t figure out why I can't start again. 

I’ve sat and just poured glass after glass after glass of wine and listened to sad songs that used to tear me to pieces, flirted with strangers, hacked into my old photo bucket, done psychedelics, forced myself to watch old grainy cell phone videos from my past, everything. So, I bought a book by Rick Rubin and it told me I needed to try to be more open to The Source. The Source being where inspiration for art comes from. 

While I am still living on tour buses and swimming in polaroids taken across America, something feels...different. I guess I have kind of cut off my funnel from The Source. Fight and flight have shoved out my childlike sense of wonder and stacked their baggage so high it’s taking up a lot of the space in my brain. This has resulted in bullying myself daily with lengthy runs consisting of logging miles on the hamster wheel that is trying to get further in each memory I am desperately clinging to. 

I am not sure if the music and entertainment industry in general has done this to me, or the audience I was choosing to create art for. Perhaps I made up my audience and they turned on me in my head so I just stopped making art. I must’ve stopped writing because it was too “feelings” and I stopped “feelings” because after the outward flow was gone, the teeter totter didn't have anything left on the other side to stop it from just falling into the dirt. 

I guess the other side used to be the romanticizing I was doing when I used to hold myself accountable to a silly outlet. The person on the other side was the sticky, dripping, gooey hopefulness of what was behind the velvet curtain. The craving I used to have for that, I guess*. 

*Then again, sometimes I read back on my ramblings and I think I sound like a sociopathic Ke$ha in 2010.

I suppose I would like to hope that I can attract that metaphorical person again, the one who helped bounce the teeter totter back up when it hit the ground. If anything, I just want to try to chip away at something by blabbering some words down again, posting something a little more niche than the Insta content, and hopefully sparking what a sap I once was. 

I really don’t have the time to make videos or edit a TikTok these days, but I guess I can figure out how to at least update a blog. Wow. Vintage. 

Someone I love very much recently told me journaling was a good outlet for them. After many purchased and forgotten little notebooks, I decided this would be what I would do. I would make the great return to the Petri dish of emo and get back in touch with who I once was. And also tell some fun stories. And also possibly break down my identity crisis (just know I am picking on myself more than anyone else ever could). And maybe bring back Tumblr. 

Can we post nudes here again?

[apexart-journal]

John Torrieri in Athens, Day 29

I'm back in NY. I have mixed feelings about being home. The very cold weather is an immediate factor that makes me wish I was back in Athens. And between people and places I was just starting to feel at home in Athens. With that being said I already see myself slipping into the old NY life. All the responsibilities that were here when I left are all still here awaiting me. It will be easy to get so caught up in everything and forget that I was even away. But I want the trip to have changed me. For the better of course. I think it will come through in more subtle ways. I always think the change after a long trip will be dramatic but it never turns out that way. But still it always has an affect. The outlook changes in ways that aren't immediately realized. So I will be patient with the results of the fellowship knowing that it will show it's influence at some point in some way.

The good thing is that I met nice people in Athens that I hope to keep in touch with. They will certainly make the experience seem more real rather than it just fading into my memory. Through them it will continue to live and breathe.

I'm still trying to determine how the trip will affect my art and approach to creativity in general. I think for sure the journey will produce some inspirational subject matter. I think when I begin to explore those subjects I will then notice my approach to production changes with it. Perhaps not, but I think that will be the case. When I create art based on Greece I believe that I will think about the Greek artists I met and then draw from their creative processes that we discussed, or simply their output that may differ from mine.

It's not every year, or even decade, that I get to journey somewhere for an entire month. I know this will affect me in the long run and I know it will be for the better. I certainly appreciate the opportunity that ApexArt gave me to have this amazing experience. Hopefully via my future artistic endeavors many, many people will benefit from it.

[dallasareaopinion]

“contemplate your death”

what the heck? someone suggested I contemplate my death, and actually there is a larger context involved, but when that person said contemplate your death and I took it in a vacuum for the first moment, it was a bit overwhelming.

And this follows the fact I was significantly ill for a couple of weeks and was taken to a hospital via ambulance at the start of being sick. I won’t go into all the details, but I am here typing so take that for a good sign. I still tire easily and have lingering issues, but overall am back to work and other endeavors. so when I was told to contemplate my death recently I was in a place where I can. Or at least I hope I can.

And the actual contemplation is a personal journey,  for now though we can talk about the process of contemplation. I don’t even like that sentence even as I wrote it.

And what does it mean to contemplate your death? Does this mean think about how I want to die and that one is actually easy. I prefer to live much longer and die peacefully in my sleep. Unfortunately we do not get to choose our natural death, whether it be from falling off a building to a car crash to illness in our sleep or what ever the case may be. 

And what is natural death? Is it living long and dying peacefully? Is it any type of death not self inflicted? And is either consciously or subconsciously self inflicted death a non natural death? Shoot can a person decide they want to die and so they start not looking both ways when they cross the street?

Or do you look at the religious view that when I die am I going to heaven or not? 

Or do you look back at your life and determine whether you led a good life in general and did you impact others or improve someone else’s life in a good or productive way? And does that lead you to heaven. Were you a Saint or had Saint like life or is purgatory going to be a long ride?

We never know, but maybe we should contemplate our death much sooner than when you reach my age? Depending on your worldview much can be accomplished just by this contemplation. And of course does it change the way you live? Or hopefully it doesn’t change it much if you have done well for others. And subsequently is there a way to change your life by contemplating your death. On the surface you would think so, but until a person goes deep into the recesses of their neuron pathways of their brain they will not know. 

And does that contemplation need to fulfill profound philosophical thinking? I actually think not. It takes some self awareness and some honesty, but you can leave the philosophers in the books. Do you pull out the family Bible and find chapter and verse that answers your questions? Or do you get bogged down in the study of worship and not really reflect on your death?

I am still struggling with finding the inner strength to go down this path, yet I am feeling pretty confident that over time I am going to delve into this piece by piece. I do not think it has to be done all at once. You just have to set an internal compass in this direction and over time the path will be laid out for you. I would make it a point to put some effort to it since you want to have this resolved before you die. 

And it would be nice if the Dallas Mavericks would contemplate playing defense or putting forth effort for the full 48 minutes of a game. They just aren’t good enough to coast at any point and they are beginning to frustrate me to death.

And whose says editors don’t matter, after reading over this for a moment I have switched back and forth between the first and second person you must be  dizzy. And I am not resolving this issue, you, as the reader, get to claw your way back to standing upright and hope the room stops spinning. I will probably die due to indecision.

Cheers