#easy persepolis W

[blaze8403]

TSUGUKO

Be it Tsugoku like Tyoko or Tokyo and or Yo like I and Spanish English numerical number nine like code or love and things are just fine or inform me be it they not be it we are adults grown and we know right from wrong like right from left and be it felt yes we can spell be it Go or Gu not DBZ Theory Super or Zt like Goku but maybe like the reality of but that it be they should be able to spell it but maybe Kyo like chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo  Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is thus a vow, an expression of determination, to embrace and manifest our Buddha nature. It is a pledge to oneself to never yield to difficulties and to win over one’s suffering. be it so Meaning of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is a phrase which was expounded by a 13th century Japanese Buddhist monk called Nichiren. The chant translates to somewhere between “I devote myself to the Mystic Law of the Lotus Sutra”, or the more traditional “…the Wonderful Dharma of the Lotus Flower Teaching” be it the way of or be it of Tao not just A Circle Religion or Religious Circle but the study of religion in general be it yes Janism is A new Religion on Earth it coincides with many other religious belief as well and in gaining understand of the situation changes be it Animism or Jainism Shinto Shintoism or every other ism other then Alcoholism the ism that get’s you in the ist or ism of it all but yo or je be it English Japanese of French like last night the French Bread like Pan to Kogekli no Pankeki like pan with the cake and keki or pan like pankeki is not okane but money or yenom like ( yenom or money if not yenom or venom ?) maybe yen like yan yen yin yon yun not yyn but year maybe and yes or no be it je suis Toujour Pret maybe possibly of my Bugatti Mission-Statement but surely more then that be it what ever the Plan i heard from here i guess writting to you from the USA-311 OF Yesterday night or yesternight - but yes A in Day if it day there I in Night if it Night Here like A in Day if it ls Day Here and I in Night if it is Night the be it here pr there like Ai if love amore is in the air 愛 be it message or massage maybe sega or sage but sega dream and video game are another thing be it D愛Gensui like letter Shi and His maybe the His in History be it the love in Dai and maybe To Die or Rolling A Die like Rolling Dice two of A Kind maybe can the spell King oh i heard Queen Tsuguko are you Princess to be Crowned Queen be it i am King i Know i haven’t had my Actual Crown Placed Upon my Head in Ceremony yet more Like A different Kind but Crown or No Crown i am King and Emperor but Emperor or Booper like Per in Person Persia maybe Persepolis just anything with A Per in it but Rome Echo not Alfa Romeo like Re maybe Kingu or Konig just the same maybe chakra like root to crown be it kyo or Tokyo and Kyoto maybe ok be it to or yo and if so Tkoyo and the word yo and like the word yo come as it comes to come out my mouth and the first thing i think is to spell Yoko not You Sweet but not Twitter or Tweet maybe a Honey Nut Cherios in A Nut shell no not Turtle in Half Shell i don’t sea food or shell fish maybe i may sell fish i like shells like sea shell maybe Past shells not so much shell casings like can they spell shell ( buy or sell ) maybe doing swell and all is well ( smell or small ? like e or a ?) no sushi tape worm it scares me i prefer cooked food but i like Teriyaki do you like Teriyaki i Know right Terry like Teri or Terri like they named it after me but i mean like yo or yo soy Dai Gensui Je suis Dai Gensui I AM Dai Gensui yo soy so soy je suis look how easy it is for me to Protect Japan Tokyo Hyogo and Kyoto like Yo=i=nine Ai like je connais then it was Eros or Rose like White Rose City and YORK OR WORK ? Y=25 LIKE W=23 letter A-Z 1-26 MAYBE 2633 like A Z33 or Z6 maybe or and An Address not 13 like letter D and Love if it Be I know  知っている Shitte iru i know わたし Watashi or Yo soy same Je suis DAI OR D愛 ? not Dlove or D9 maybe Dove or Love and RavenDove like EvodNevar yes also a name for mens wear think it could work something else from too come soon be it like The Kimico Heavenah of Mens Fashion but also my Short Tribal Name in reverse order be it Raven and Dove like Yin OR Yang and Saying or spelling of Love but i mean everything or nothingness and the art of war not A movie up to chapter Three like Chapter C letter Three EVERYTHING is SWEET Like A DANISH BUT YO OK MAYBE KO LIKE YO YORK YOKO it was like Yo Ok no Tsu not stupid like cupid and spell Cup maybe so but yes up is a two letter word be it peotry or country like count to to make it count like on the okane on the money and God for Three and it’s Good LIKE GOOD MORNING AMERICA but yes GMA or AMG ? GOOGLE OR YAHOO ?  ( GOOGLE OR FACEBOOK ?) no not FudgeBook F**Kbook not F is letter six and Female Gender of Sex to Dai Gensui and any General in armed forces if you ask me but that would be My Military Career no sweets i said wrote typed and spoke Yo soy Je suis to many times ( please not yo Gotti ) Gottin or Megami like Gott or Kami Goddu ? no its KO in Tsuguko and Yoko like it is Kiko To and Ki or Chi maybe Qi like Chi X in Greek Alphabet maybe AOX - AOF -AOM - not Above Ordinary Music at this moment but Yo ( yo in Kyoto Tokyo and Hyogo let it be know if gets to the Ok just as so let me be the first to know) Like Yes Nato or Minato yes Japan not Naruto not a minute to wait not a minute to waste be it time or tyme and y=yes but no Not Naruto Anime maybe Whirlpools and going for loops like going Pebbles over Fruit Loops like i could have them jumping through hoops like one hoop after hoop spell Boop not Book but yea or yes it be my theory as my theories do explain some things we do or do not Have to to people like Us our Kind not Tobi or Obito be it to or too and Tobi not bi to maybe bi frost another theory among many or just a few be it Tobi or Madara maybe Minato or Nato and well Uchiha is an Actual Surname be it Sir or Sur or even how maybe Minato Got his name be it mean or amen like amen or omen spelling of men or man maybe woman or women just the same not money but monet like My MO and net be it Ten like not Ent but Tentetsutou be it words or sword my blade or steel be it one and it’s name be it maybe how i am nice like nyce n=no y=yes c=correct e=execution with my Kunai Kunai Knife and My Seishin ways my Jujan Ninja Janin sway be it my ways kicking Jujan Jitsu and Jutsu like spell Ninja and Ninjitsu spell Jutsu spell Nine J letter 10 OF THE ALPHABET A letter 1 of the Alphabet be it if so ( min/man//main/mato or nato ) not maniac or braniac (bi neural or mono neural ?) in or an maybe Anu not Anus but spell Us Anu like i have to have dog named Inu Tsu you have to get my humor in this no it nothing to rumor ( murder or redrum - they can not spell it ? be it mudra and murda) and the Delivery i know Ahead of you like Heak or Head and D=4 or K=11 reduced to 2 LETTER B K T not BCT be it DDG 2320-232 be it 447 if so like i like what i see there to honestly BUT TBH like My Initial is TLH not DLH please and you like youtube U or You Like Hawkins or Hokinsu/Hokinzu how we do S or Z like 19 OR 26 not hit or miss be it Inu or Uni and Uni means one not but if so Unisol or subsidiaries be it Hawkins Umbrella Corporations just drop UK like the United Kingdom and Tsugo like (Go Tsu ) UK=21/11=UK=32=REDUCED TO FIVE LETTER E rather N or W MAYBE North West East like Seat or Teas and South maybe spelling of South or Mouth ? AI Terry Lee Hawkins Junior (Jr) THAILAND THAIBAHT ( LIKE BA21-AHT HAT OR BATH) and Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins and T.Hawk or Hawkins like Hawkins or Hawk.T first Initial and Last First Four Letters if so be it Thainland or Thailand Homeland or Home be it yes i may Have A Home on Thailand Home Soil also maybe so A thai wife like Thai Life be it Terry or Maha sometimes be it King Terry or Hawkins or Maha or Longkorn not Chula Longkorn University like everything or nothing is threat to the National and International Threat to the Security of Thailand TH愛LAND not TH-ONE but THAI LOVE OR TH LOVE AND 愛 TH OR D ? BE IT TH愛LAND OR D愛GENSUI ? AND LOVE IN BETWEEN AND YES IF BE 3645=NINE just I or R and only one is a vowel so it fits tight snug like fist full but okay yes i do love Numerology i am Philosopher also not just poet writer or creator and founder of Corporations device electronics Home Interactive among other things and A Religion and Martial Art i use Numerology Professionally and it’s cool ( not loco aom) but yes every Dai Gensui or Philosopher or Military Career male or female is Professional with Numerology it’s starts outside of the School system like it does the Military things the military may not teach among them is Numerology but yes Numer or Sumer like Summer or Sumer Sumer (/ˈsuːmər/) is the earliest known civilization in the historical region of southern Mesopotamia, modern-day southern Iraq, during the Chalcolithic and Early Bronze ages, and one of the first civilizations in the world along with Ancient Egypt, Norte Chico and the Indus Valley  Dates: c. 4500 – c. 1900 BC Geographical range: Near East, Middle EastPeriods: Neolithic, Bronze Age and Did you know: The Sumerians built the first cities, established the first monarchies and bureaucracies. SUMERIAN / ENGLISH GEMATRIA CALCULATOR BASED ON INCREMENTS OF SIX but we wont be using this to much but it is okay to mention but yes sweety post safely and post a way and come voting if be or magick just cast away like magic But six or sex and letter F be it yes or no and Six Star Military Nato Ranking and  Star Military Nato Security like OP=67 NOT A YEAR or OOP (P=16=7)         OOP =OO16=OO7 BOOPER NOT BOOKER BUT TSU OTANIM ( IM NATO OR MINATO ( MAN OR MON) LIKE MONDAY TODAY YOUR YESTERDAY THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE IN JAPAN TIME LIKE KICKING JUJANJITSU LIKE WHAT’S YOUR JUTSU AND CAN THEY SPELL TSU be it Tsugoku / Tsuguko like Hawk or Taka maybe Taka Tsugetsu it’s not even and issue maybe so like miss you and missing you is cool launching missile maybe so too no just to mess with you and message ( mess or mass ? ) like making a mass effect maybe A mass effect four i dont know tsu some ish will effect you life like that ish effect my life like Andromeda like Andromeda Galaxy not A Tv show maybe Mass effect Five and the could not spell to sausage on pizza right ( 311-USS-311-USA-911-ISS-911-RSS) be it March or September 11 like 1+1=2 and A+A=B like A+B=C if it be and math not meth be it unless deceasing methods A Dai Gensui Decreases His Enemies by Making Piece with His Enemies or Deceasing his enemies be it same for Gensui if it be just written from me to You Ter to Tsu Terry to Tsuguko titled Tsuguko 

 - FROM TERRY 

Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins is feeling professional with Terry Lee Hawkins Jr. 1 min · Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins 4 mins · RAVENDOVE Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins was RavenDove - yin yin / yang RavenDove - yin yin / yang - COLD NUMB AND (LOVIEY DOVIEY) CALCULATED SPELL IT D or L Dove or Love maybe L or D Lover or Dover pythagorean numerology ABC123 Kauffman-Hawkins-Hawk or Hopk -H__kins aw or op and Hopkins signed Booper or just Boop not Book BUT LOKI OR BOOPER SAN with Blaze Pascal. with Terry Lee Hawkins ( male ) @ikigami shinigam HAWKINS HOKINSU/HOKINZU  

TAO OF TRUE RELIGION CIRCLE (JANISM)

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: “Best Animated Feature”

WARNING: Men that went to college can be gross, so watch out. Thank you, take care out there, enjoy.

From Snubs to Ticket Stubs

The Academy Awards is bullshit. Nothing but high quality gaslighting to make people believe that having a 1st place participation trophy will make you think the material was as good as might not have thought, allowing manipulative power plays to fool you into thinking that people in charge know what’s best for a pageant style multiple choice test. That being said, I just wanted to share my opinions on the nominees for this year’s Best Animated Flic because they are interesting, not only for ripping off the Golden Globes, but seeing these movies myself unlike the shitewats at the academy, I wanted to weigh my two cents in just for kicks. And with that, we have...

The Breadwinner

Truth be told, even if it was made by the same studio, I found this story to not be as gripping as Song of the Sea. Then again, that had magic, cool colors, and selkies to behold, so note my bias. Though, that doesn’t excuse this from being a good film. Even with it being a 18 year old story, I honestly thought of this as Persepolis meets Arabian Nights with the art style reminiscient of grainy looking yet picturesque folk tales, especially when they cut to sequences reminiscent of pop up books, and the story being a character study of those in war torn territory, like Persepolis except not as broad in its world to story narrative.

Boss Baby

Whoops, wrong Boss Baby, but doesn’t matter. Now, I kinda understand why it was nominated. It’s certainly one of the best distractions you could ever give your kids because it lacks any major sense and A L E C B A L D W I N being A L E C B A L D W I N baby is the highlight of the film, to me I say. There is competence and more jokes in it than just having a grown man voice a baby, not saying those jokes were good in the first case. They really stretched a book the size of your toe nail to a pointlessly clever degree, and I gotta respect that. Doesn’t change the fact it had questionable choices for their “story”, references that wouldn’t even make sense to adults, and butt jokes so blatant, Captain Underpants would say “Do better”. OH WAIT it can’t, because Dreamworks, who made both of these BTW, promoted the BOSS BABY more and seek to have the BOSS BABY nominated than an actually respected and well known children’s book. Again, I understand why they’d choose this, but Dreamworks need to understand that Baby Herman is not as marketable as they’d believe and that this was a pity coin thrown their way.

Loving Vincent

Surprisingly, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen this animated medium before, because Mob Psycho 100 did it two years ago and it was one of the best fucking things I’ll ever see.

I guess sometimes Anime is (not) a mistake

But that was less than two minutes of animation. Imagine watching something like for an hour and a half movie, on a luckily gorgeous HD screen, that took four years and 125 hands to fully complete. I mean, fuck man, even if you didn’t watch it, you gotta give this some respect. Though, the art is one thing, the story is a faulty other. While I was intrigued by the incredible colors and imagery, the story was a bit of a snooze cruise, meaning you could fall asleep to if you weren’t paying attention to the artwork. It was moving to see a man who didn’t see Van Gogh as much slowly make his way to earning his devotion, but I can’t deny that I nodded off my first watch because it was just so damn peaceful. The animation’s nice and slow, the music is easy to dream to, can’t help but feel comfort in its atmosphere. But, the whole way through, it just felt satisfying to watch. I’ll say this is the Cuphead of animated films, one you didn’t know you wanted but can’t help but feel glad and blessed that you got it.

Blue Sky’s Ferdinand

I’ll say it, whoever thought this movie earned the nomination must’ve thought the The Emoji Movie was a great kids film. All this movie has going for it is a tight beginning, ending, and John Cena himself. The middle was WEAK, just a slog sitting through comic relief that add up to killing the humor and moments that’ll make you say, “That happened.” That’s all Ferdinand was, a good beginning, the setup, middle part, and a good ending. If a small fraction of a movie is all you got in terms of actual quality, does it really qualify? The Peanuts Movie couldn’t be nominated, but this did? I’m sorry, but I gotta call this the weakest entry out of everything. This is honest BULLshit.

Coco

Coco was a great movie. A charming, heart clenching narrative, a fantastic world, and a check to “the Dead” on Pixar’s list of bringing things to animated life. However, singing its praises feels predictable now. It doesn’t feel special to me because Disney almost always wins nowadays, like they’re rigging the choices to make sure Disney/Pixar gets it without feeling like a cheat. Hell, there are only five times where they didn’t win, half of which was because of Disney didn’t bring their usual A game. Five, out of 16 times? I remember reading this one post, and it does bear repeating: DISNEY IS UNDERCUTTING QUALITY ANIMATED FILMS! I can’t expect something like Loving Vincent or the Breadwinner to win this trophy of achievement because I bet a good third of my soul that Coco’s gonna win w/o hesitation. This feels like a manipulative front to sway people towards companies like Disney that always set to bring the faithful family friendly stuff while the diverse animations get shafted to generally good mentions. Disney’s worked for years to continuously perfect their craft, but they’ve gotten too good and it doesn’t help that now their releases are yearly and in spades. So while I can say Coco has earned its spot for a nomination, I can’t help but feel that no matter how much effort others have put into their films, companies like Disney can shut any chance for major recognition without even trying.

Man, I can’t even care who’s gonna win (Coco) but I will say this. As I have enjoyed 3 out of the five films on this check, unlike the fucklenuts at “the Academy”, I hope to be more open with what I watch, movies or animations in general. Like shoot, I got

The Isle of Dogs, I got

LEGO Batman to watch again, I got

The Spiderverse to look forward to, I got

YOUR NAME?!

Do you know how much regret and flogging I have for not watching Your Name? I feel like a disgrace. So I can only hope that as I will go watch Your Name in the most stable condition I can obtain, more people will learn from the bullshit Oscars, especially those who love animated features as much as any other film, that there is more out here than just the ones that earn big Hollywood branded awards, that those movies can provide some of the greatest visuals your eyes could never imagine, and that a trophy shouldn’t/won’t define actual greatness. So, with the Monkey Network seal of approval, I give you...

#OscarsSoBland!

Because if we can learn anything from this, it’s that the biggest events like these are typically the least inviting or investing. Seriously, why do people care about this show again?

[wishingfornever]

1/31/2018 – No Contact:  Petty Bourgeois Emotion

If there is a God then he would truly be a tyrant.

Sorry… Starting off a bit strong.  The point is, I realized why I haven’t been able to tend to my journal as of late.  I got a TON of hours lately.  So much so that I can’t really handle the journal.  I get home late at night, consider writing in my journal, but I forget. Then I have to fall asleep.  I hear my cousin in the other room…  I don’t want to wake her.  So, nothing gets done.

A lot of work means little time for play.  My days off consist of me doing nothing for an hour and then realizing that hour lasted the entire day.  D’oh.

Work went well today… was thinking of some of the things I wanted to tell you but haven’t due to… well, the workload.  It’ll lighten up in a bit.  I work today (current time being 12:45 in the morning, which means I would have been the 30th of January instead of 31st had I hustled, but whatever).  I worked yesterday, of course, and it went… well.  The day before, not so much.  The 29th…  Really bad.  I don’t think Diana likes me.

I’ve been punished for my lust.  :/

I thought my manager I have been closing with did too.  No, she’s just usually annoyed.  She speaks so softly and I can’t hear that well because everything was loud with my dad.  I really realized I’m not fond of my dad, lately.  :/

Regardless, work went well today.  It’s a tuesday, so better than monday. January is the Monday of Months, of course.

My manager was late for her bus on the 29th.  Yesterday (or today, whatevs) we got out at a regular time.  It’s great.  I hope she caught her bus but idk.  I had a lot of time to think, mind you. Think of… what?  My life?

I’m feeling more centered. Found… several songs.  One is an animation…  Beautiful, I think. Just… it appeals to me.  I have it on repeat, basically.  It’s… given me a bit of hope.  I listen to the lyrics and… well, I relate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRpiBvwKX6c

The song is called “The Villain I Appear to be” which is apt.  Listen to it… maybe you’d disagree.  After reading what you’ve read. Knowing what you know.  Maybe you’ll know better.  Maybe I’m not familiar with the villain I really am.  Hard to tell.

There are several other songs.  Expanded my favorites.  It’s… helped. Music is a salve for the soul.  These songs, I’ve stumbled upon in one way or another… they’ve been a light when I’ve been totally isolated in solemn darkness.

There is this song… makes me think of Esther.  I think I’ll keep it to myself.  It’s a good song, but I’ve already shared one in this post.  Won’t share another.

Man… Was thinking about Dennis earlier today.  Months ago, I was coming up with a plan.  I was going to call Esther a whore or something?  I wouldn’t have meant it but if Dennis exploded at Shane, he’d DEFINITELY exploded at me.  So, I would have picked a fight.  Would have been easy.

Again, months ago.  I was more angry then.  After he blocked me when I thought we could reconcile.  Bullshit.  That’s still bullshit.

Whatever. Point is, after doing some weight training… I’m not sure I could take him.  Not confident in my strength anymore.  This is why I think God is a tyrant.  This was the one thing I had faith in and now… it’s gone.  I had nightmares where I’d just decay and my muscles would weaken.  Maybe that was my body trying to tell me that my horrors became the facts.

I’m not pleased.

Needless to say, I’m not trying to get in a fist fight with Dennis.  Not anymore, at least.  I need more exercise first, and even then… I don’t think I have the heart for it.  Then again, the ORIGINAL plan was to have him hit me but I know he wouldn’t do that.  We’d have to agree on the fight to make it legal.  It’s on private property, so it should be fine.

I thought about it long and hard.  Again, not the plan anymore.  I guess the plan is to keep bitching about them until I get tired of it.  Yay?

Been watching a lot of streamers lately. Probably a bad thing.  It’s been making me late.  I’ve considered streaming myself.  Gives me someone to talk to.  I am starting to feel the lack of friends.  I’ve selected this solitude for myself. How generous I’ve become.  D’oh…

Oh, my NationState.  MN Has been INACTIVE.  Yes, for reasons.  Mostly that I’m busy and the responsibilities stress me the FUCK out. Like, really.  Life sucks.  -,-

Among my musical discoveries, I also discovered the most attractive woman I’ve ever seen.  A PornStar.  At least, she was the most initially attractive woman.  Her name I Mia Magma, born several years before me.  A German woman and it took me forever to discover this.  I saw her doing a very passionate blowjob and I couldn’t even fap.  She just had the face of an angel.

Later, I discovered her teeth were somewhat peculiar and she doesn’t have much of an ass, unfortunately.  Ah, well.

Still, she’s a beautiful woman.  I made a PornHub account just to say she’s beautiful.  Used my public screen name as my private screen name was… taken.  I avoid numbers.  Bad luck.  So, I said fuck it. I don’t have anything to hide from anyone.  Why should I care?  Oh, what if someone finds me?  Finds where I live and kills me?  Bah!  I don’t care.  Doubt they would.

That said, I realized I might not have mentioned this.  I was watching A LOT of porn and I was concerned that I miiiiiight have had viruses. Could have explained the blue screening too.  So, I found an antivirus.  Got a years subscription.  Would get too but I’ve been talking to one of my cousins about getting a new one.  Seems since the bitcoin bubble, prices for computers went up.  I think I mentioned this, actually…

Regardless, I’d have to get a new antivirus if I get a new computer and I think this one would at least last the year.  I found USB drives at work. Cheap and should be big enough for this file.  I’ll move the important files over to it and work directly from there.  Hopefully, if my computer dies before I’m through, I’ll be prepared and I won’t have to salvage everything or start over.

I woke up this morning screaming.  No, didn’t dream about Esther. Leg cramped.  Right calf.  I could feel the muscle in a place it wasn’t supposed to be.  Not a good sign.  Thought today was going to be bad.  It may have been… a little bit.  Again, for the most part it was good.  Tiresome though…

I’ve been trying to get back into gaming but… eh.  It’s sort of why I wanted to start streaming.  So I could have a REASON to get back into gaming.  It’s not a good way, but it’s something.  In fact, I should probably embrace not gaming.  It might help.  Idk.

You know, I don’t ever get to share what I want to share.  I know I’ll forget something but…  Eh.  I’m going to watch a French-Iranian movie called “Persepolis.”  I just downloaded a picture quoting the movie so I figured I’d enjoy the source material.  After, might play a game of… something and go to bed.  Idk.  Tomorrow, I don’t work.  :D

Persepolis… was a really good movie.  Though, I think it hinted that she (Marjane Satrapi) was raped at one point?  Two men and she was sleeping in an alleyway.  I hope she wasn’t.  :/

I liked how in the movie, she wasn’t afraid to portray herself as the villain.  She acknowledged what she was doing was wrong.  As a child wanting to gouge out the eyes of another child and other instances into adulthood.  Heavy stuff.  Of course, some cases… she did what she had to.  Still, she regretted what she had done afterwards but she acknowledged that they were wrong.  She didn’t hide her own injustices.

As a Communist, that’s good.  In a debate, Stalin and Mao are inevitably brought up.  Can’t deny they happened, can only educate as to WHY it happened.  If the fools you’re debating refuse to learn then they aren’t looking for a debate but a confrontation. You won’t sway minds because they’re not offering their minds to be swayed.  They have nothing on their mind beyond, “You’re the enemy” despite not knowing why.

There is a lot of history.  Concerning imperialism over Iran, the war with Iraq, the religious dictatorship.  Marx said religion was the opiate of the masses.  I wonder if Satrapi is a practicing Muslim.  Wouldn’t be surprised… she thought she’d be a prophet when she got older. Have sections where she spoke to god directly.  Then there was Karl Marx, which was interesting.  Apparently, after doing a bit of research, she compared Marx to God?  Yeah, that sounds like something ripe with controversy.

Still, as I said, I wasn’t expecting much communism in the movie.  I mean, the picture I downloaded… it says “Love is a petty bourgeois emotion” with Marjane looking at a dog.  I thought the movie was going to be about something else, I didn’t realize the heavy political undertone.  I like how everyone but Marjane and her mother have American accents.  They both have Iranian accents.  Of course, the religious guard have actually… kind of soft and gentle American accents.  If it wasn’t for the fact that they were the bad guys, they’d be… adorable.

They all look the same and when they’re not harassing people, they seem quite earnest.  Weird to say.  Like, they confront Marjane because she’s running and that makes her butt jiggle.  She explodes at them (love a strong woman) and they’re confused and almost sad.  Again, these guys are all interchangeable with one another.  Not sure if that’s intentional or not.

I hope… my books sell well enough to the point that I can contact Marjane.  Ask her questions, trade ideas…  She is the Frida of my generation.  An incredible and deep artist with Communist tendencies? Yes, please.  And I think her and her family are terribly clever.  I respect that.

I feel like I’ve been getting more dumb lately.  Spelling errors, punctuation errors, etc.  I’m slipping.

I also want to talk to her now.  I need… guidance.  Someone who can understand me.  She had depression and I certainly do.  We have different backgrounds but I get her.  Of course, she parties a bit more than I do.  She’s not a social outcast, now that I think about it… but she is a wide eyed dreamer.  Typical communist, I know.  ;)

I’m not like Marjane.  Maybe she won’t understand me, now that I think about it.  But we are likeminded… perhaps a better word but eh. Could just be wishful thinking.

Eh… I found a page on facebook… as well as facebook profiles.  There are tons.  Think adding her is too personal.  I liked the public page.  I want to send her a message but… what would I say?

Hi, I’m a young 20 something with NOTHING happening in my life and I feel like a chronic failure.  Our only similarities is that we’re both communists and struggle or used to struggle with depression! Please respond!

I… don’t like messaging famous people. I feel like I’m just… trying to get attention.  I don’t like being noticed by the streamer while watching twitch for similar reasons.  I feel a lot of guilt for something totally irrelevant.

So… I ended up venting in a stream.  Mentioned that I want to message Marjane.  Someone told me that if I were to ask for guidance ask if she has time to chat.  I just discovered her.  That’s… rushing things, I guess?  I don’t know.  Maybe I should research her more? I don’t know.  I don’t know anything.  :/

Ugh… I’m caught at a bad time.  Very bad time.  But that’s life, eh? I’m going to go to bed.  Maybe… maybe I’ll message Marjane tomorrow.  Talk to her… share my story…  Or something, I don’t know.  All that I know is that I know nothing.

Time is 11:50.

I was offered a job at work today.  Discount Tire.  Overtime is 20 per hour.  Not sure what it means for regular pay but it’ll be better than Dollar General.  I’m excited.

I’ve been feeling very… inspired, I guess.  Not necessarily inspired positively or negatively just more susceptible to emotions.  When I found out I’ve been noticed, I was just agape with joy.  I was hoping earlier that it’d happen to me because I was thinking the universe was turning against me.  That maybe I wouldn’t get the chance to see Ariel.  My frivolous spending spree has set me back by a lot… I won’t get a card until next week.  I’ll call the number and get set up.

I’m excited.  More money means Ariel comes sooner… but I also said I wanted to leave.  I’d leave later because this would be a more serious job.  Maybe I could get it when I come back?  If I come back? I don’t know.  I’ll see how I feel.