#easy mistake. collins men will be so married and act not at all like it.

[widowshill]

haha oops

[jawritter]

You and Me...

Chapter 3

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non-con, male!rape, injury, violence, description of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, implied female non-con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!Jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chatper Warnings*** 

Word Coung: 2464

Pairing: Jensen Ackles X Reader, Jared x reader, OFC Steve x Reader, OFC Justin x Reader. Misha x Reader, Jensen x Jared, Jensen x Misha

A/N: When I originally wrote this chapter I didn’t even know who Steve Carlson was, so the Steve in this story isn’t him lol. Oddly enough I wrote this before I even really knew he was making an album lol. Anyway, all mistakes are mine, please don’t copy my work, Feedback is golden. If you want to be added to the series tag list, or my tag list just let me know! I hope you enjoy this one. After this chapter things tend to start to pick up a little.

Summary: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter your course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getting through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

Last night was a bad night for you. You were crushed that Jensen thought you were just some slut that likes to flirt with every married man that came through the studio because not a word of that was true. The way he was looking at you when he said it. There was no emotion in his eyes whatsoever. Just coldness. He looked at you like you were just another gold-digging whore. You don’t know why his opinion of you crushed you so badly, but it did.

It’s not like it was unusual in the industry that you were working in. Groupies came all the time to hang out and see if they could land themselves an upcoming artist that has potential, then ride that ride all the way down to music row. Steve did try and keep them at bay because he couldn't stand that part of the industry. It didn’t stop them from coming, but at least he did try.

You were no groupie, you worked your ass off to get to where you were in your job. You did it yourself through straight hard work and talent. You had no favors, no handouts, nothing. Everything you had, everything you accomplished, it was all you. 

Women are looked down on in most businesses, but in the entertainment industry, that reputation of whore seems to resound past any talent a woman might have. It wasn't usual for men to come in, and treat you the way Jensen had yesterday, but when he did it, it really hurt.

The way he jerked the coffee out of your hand, not even looking at you. Like you were nothing, trash, someone that wasn't worthy to be in his presents. 

That cut you deep.

Why did you care so much what this snob thought about you? You didn't like the way his opinion of you made you feel. The way it seemed to etch itself into you, and take root there. You whipped away a stray tear that was making its way down your face.

Most of the night you dreamed of Demon Dean. Because that's who he looked like yesterday when he demanded Steve make you bring him his coffee. 

The nightmares were vivid, more vivid than you’d ever experienced in your life. 

You used to like Demon Dean. You found it to be an interesting take on Dean's character. Now though. It gave you chills. You didn't know how you were going to face Jensen today. Still, you weren't going to let it cost you your job. You’d worked too hard, and come too far to let one man’s opinion of you destroy everything you had worked to build for yourself. 

So you text Steve back for the thousandth time just this morning telling him that you were fine and would see him in a little while. Justin and Steve knew you pretty well, and they could tell how Jensen's opinion of you had affected you. You had never walked out on a job before like that. Steve knew you weren’t just not feeling well and needed to go home. He knew Jensen had gotten to you. 

You just wish you knew why it affected you so much. You never cared what people thought about you before. It didn't make sense.

You jump in the shower quickly. Not feeling real into dressing up today, which there was no dress code at your job anyway, you throw on an old black and white Slipknot band shirt Justin had bought you years ago for a dirty Santa gift at work. It was comfortable, so, therefore, it was your favorite. A black pair of skinny ripped jeans, and a pair of black and white converse. You threw your hair into a messy bun and a light dusting of makeup. Today, that was just as good as it was going to get.

You just didn't feel pretty this morning. So you didn't see any need in trying. Yesterday you did the work, and it did not go well. Business suit, perfect hair, makeup. Still, you were just a whore that liked to flirt with married men and needed to get Jensen his coffee.

As soon as you walked into the recording room this morning Justin and Steve were on their feet giving you a hug.

 "Don't pay attention to that overpaid, spoiled fuck Y/N," Justin said, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. 

"Yeah, Jen's back today. She can pack him his damn coffee, and I hope she spits in it," Steve said through gritted teeth. 

They were a little overprotective of you, so this reaction didn't surprise you. They had become like family to you over the years. They treated you like a little sister, and they had no problem going to war for you if they had to. 

You look through the glass in front of you and see Jennifer sitting up everything for the day. She was young, probably 19 or 20, you didn't really ever ask. She was pretty though. Long blonde hair. Skinnier than you were, even though you weren't really all that heavy.  Blue eyes. 

She would probably make it far in the entertainment industry one day on her looks alone. She was dressed in her usual casual skinny jeans and tank top. You smirk at the fact that Jensen was probably gonna eat her alive today since he obviously had a problem with women. She looked a little to you like a gold-digging groupie the more you thought about it. She was a working mom though, and you respected her for that. It was hard to be a young mom, much less a working young mom.

"Has Jensen arrived yet?" you turn to Steve and ask, dreading the moment he walked into the studio already. 

Also, you were inwardly regretting your outfit choice. You weren't sure who would be under attack more, Jennifer, or you. 

"No, he's running a little late. Jared will be here again today, along with Misha Collins. He's in town for some type of charity function, and Jensen invited him to come to watch a little today," Steve said, turning to his buzzing phone, and walking out of the recording room.

You turned about to say that you hoped Misha wasn't as big of an ass hole as Jensen when you saw the group of actors walk into the studio. “Well crap, here it goes.”

"Misha, this is Y/N, and Justin, that girl in there putting out drinks is Jennifer," Steve said, and you all shook Misha's hand. He greeted everyone warmly and seemed to be a genuinely friendly guy. Jensen was looking at you with a look of distaste on his face, but there was a look in his eyes that you didn't recognize, something you hadn't seen yesterday, even if he was staring at you and snarling at you in a cocky smirk.

"What is this?" he asked gesturing up, and down your small frame. He was a giant compared to you. "Casual Tuesday? You are aware that it's not Friday yet right?" he blows off in a cocky tone. 

Misha and Jared turn to stare at him, but you say nothing. Taking a deep calming breath you turn around and start logging into the equipment. Misha came and took a seat by you, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze. You smile at him and watch as Jennifer enters the room. “Showtime,” you think to yourself, but boy did you get the shock, and disappointment of your life.

"Well, well, I don't believe we met yesterday. What's your name beautiful?" Jensen said, turning to Jennifer.

You felt your stomach lurch, and you fraught to hold onto your breakfast. You got up and excused yourself to the bathroom. Steve and Justin watched you like you might snap at any minute. 

Well, he wants to be a jackass then two can play at this game. You were in control of today's recording session, and today wasn't going to be an easy one, for Jensen anyway. You, on the other hand, were going to enjoy this.

You walked out of the bathroom after composing your emotions and ran headlong into the large frame that was Jared. He grabbed your shoulders to steady you and keep you from falling back on your ass. 

"Sorry," he said in a rush. 

"It's okay," you retorted, turning a little red. Could you just not do anything right today? 

"I wanted to talk to you before we got started today. I want to apologize for the way Jensen is acting toward you. I've never seen him act quite like this toward anyone. He's going a divorce. It was just finalized yesterday. He's under a lot of stress," you held your hand up to stop Jared's retort of excuses he was trying to make for his friend's attitude.

"I'm sure he will be able to blow off a little steam with Jennifer on the break. Maybe if he gets one off he won't be such a dick. Now If you'll excuse me I've got work to do," you say, pushing past Jared before he could say anything and stepping back toward the recording room.

Neither of you saw Jensen leaning against the door in the hallway. He’d heard every word that Jared had said to you, and he was livid.

"What the fuck Jar?" Jensen said, making his presence known to his friend. Jared swore under his breath, turning to face a red face; and obviously pissed Jensen. 

"I could ask you the same question," Jared said, rounding on his friend. "What you do have against Y/N? She's done nothing to you, and you act like such an ass towards her every time you open your mouth?!"

Jensen stood there with his head cocked to the side. He had been acting like a dick, he was well aware of it. Still, he couldn't help it. Whether she was doing it on purpose or not she was driving him crazy, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. She was beautiful, but that wasn't it. It was something he felt deep down in his gut every time she looked at him. It scared him a little. He thought Danneel was the love of his life, he shouldn’t be feeling this way this early after a divorce. Maybe Y/N was right, maybe he did just need to get one off...

"Do you hate her or something?" Jared said, looking at his friend's dead-looking eyes with concern. Ever since Danneel had left him it was like Jensen had just shut down emotionally. He hated it. Hated seeing his friend like this.

"No, I don't hate her Jared," Jensen said, rubbing his hand through his hair, and turning to walk back into the recording room. Not wanting to have this conversation. 

"Well, you got a real fucked up way of showing it, man," Jared said as Jensen closed the door.

----------------------------------

Three hours later Jensen was about six mess ups into the same song he'd sang one thousand times. Mostly because every time you heard a note slightly off you would turn the mike on, and yell, "That's wrong, do it again". 

By now his face was red and he was getting pissed. You couldn’t help yourself though, you found it deeply satisfying. Every time you made him start over Jared and Misha would laugh hysterically behind you. Both of them thought that Jensen was getting exactly what he deserved. Jensen had obviously met his match.

"This whole house had got to be shaken.'."

"Wrong. Do it again."

"This whole house had got to be shaken.'."

"Wrong. Do it again."

"This whole house had got to be shaken’."

"Wrong. Do it again."

"This whole house had got to be shaken'."

"Wrong. Do it again."

This time Jensen had all he could take. 

"What is your fucking problem you bitch," he yelled into the microphone, and the whole room fell silent as the two of you stared at each other. Jensen was on his feet breathing heavily. His voice was slightly hoarse from trying to hit the same note over and over again. Still, he was slightly off every time, and you had every intention to make him do it until he got it right. The miss was so subtle that you would have to be listening to really hear it, most people wouldn’t have even caught it, and that's what made it fun for you. You were gonna make this ass hole lose his shit. Just like he was trying to do you. You were going to beat him in his own game.

You reached over and turned the speaker back on, staring at him, not even blinking. Everyone in the room was holding their breath. 

"You keep hitting the wrong note. You are gonna do it until you get it right. Now... Again..."

You stare at him coldly, and he looked at you like if you were a man he'd hit you. Misha started to snicker under his breath behind you, leaning over he whispered to Jared, "I like this one." 

You try to hide the smirk that threatens to play at your lips.

Jensen put his guitar back on his shoulder and began to strum the chorus again. Looking at you with a shit-eating grin on his face this time, which confused you a little. Was he enjoying this? Damn that man was gorgeous. Too bad he was a dick.

"This whole house had got to be shaken'," 

That time he hit it. He even realized when he hit it. The look of shock sat on everyone in the room's face. He finished out the chorus and you came back on the mic. 

He was standing there staring at you. A hard, yet mischievous look on his face. Something in his eyes lighting up for the first time since you met him. 

"That's a wrap," you say over the spacker, turning to Justin and Steve who were both grinning at you too. 

"Shut it down. That's enough for today," with that, you grabbed your stuff, hugged Misha who was laughing uncontrollably at the look on Jensen's face as you hugged Jared too; then left for the day more than a little proud of yourself. 

This man, he does something to you. Something you don't quite understand. He pulls a side of you out that you never knew was there, but you kinda like it. If you were being honest. You had forgotten what it felt like to stand up against something on your own two feet. 

Ever since you moved back to Austin after the death of both your parents, you had lost your fight somehow, and you hadn’t even realized it. Jensen seemed to be pulling that fight out of you, even if he didn’t mean to do it, or realize that he was doing it. 

You needed this challenge, and you sure as fuck weren’ going to let him win. 

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[joeybear]

The Ten Year Oscars: 2009

Welcome to the 7th annual Ten Year Oscars, where The Academy (of one) corrects the mistakes of Oscars past with the benefit of hindsight, historical context and an inflated sense of my own opinion. For those mathematically challenged, this year we’re re-imagining the 2009 Oscars and boy, does this year need my help.

Best Picture

Who won? Slumdog Millionaire. Who should’ve won? Let The Right One In

This was not a good year for the Academy. None of the 5 nominees for Best Picture are classics and some aren’t even good movies. There were great movies this year that weren’t nominated, including The Dark Knight, The Wrestler, In Bruges, Burn After Reading and I’m going to throw in Step Brothers as well. Step Brothers is a great movie.

My winner is Let the Right One In. It wasn’t nominated for anything. It wasn’t even submitted by Sweden for Best Foreign Language Film. But a decade later, it’s leaped from obscurity to cult classic to horror classic to required viewing. It’s a slow-burn with a great payoff in the climax. The relationship of the children, written so delicately, juxtaposed with gruesome violence resulted in a film of rare emotional complexity. The kids are, somehow, brilliant.

There was an American remake which was... fine. It’s a badge of honor, at this point, for great movies to have mediocre American remakes. The original is brilliant and if you haven’t seen it, seek it out. It was the best movie of 2008. 

Movies that benefited most from a decade?

There were small, underseen movies that have gotten a foothold in cinema history over the decade. Let The RIght One In falls into this category. Steve McQueen’s first feature, Hunger isn’t thought of as a classic but it’s now well known as a launching pad for both McQueen and his star Michael Fassbender. In Bruges is another of these and has taken an even bigger leap. There’s nary a cinephile out there who hasn’t seen it by now. And Step Brothers. I’m going to keep bringing up Step Brothers. It’s great.

There were also big movies that changed the culture. The Dark Knight, commercial behemoth that it was, is also now credited as the film that changed Oscar balloting for Best Pictures. TDK should’ve just been nominated movies that got a nod this year but the expansion of the nominees to 10 (later adjusted to as much as ten), coupled with the preferential ballot has been great for the Academy which has given recent awards to interesting movie that might not have had a chance in years past. Iron Man, for kicking of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and The Strangers, a modest hit that has become a modern horror classic, fit this category nicely as well.

I have to single out Burn After Reading, though. The Coen Brothers’ follow-up to their masterpiece, No Country For Old Men, was not well received at the time. Not hated but divisive, in the least. There has been a reappraisal since including multiple think pieces about how the movie has grown as both comedy and commentary. The smart, funny movies will come to the top, eventually.   

Movies that were hurt by a decade?

In 2008, the Academy did a terrific job of rewarding great filmmaking that was not traditional “Oscar fare.” In 2009 they regressed, nominating a slew of movies for various awards that fit a kind of mold we’re used to seeing rewarded but were not great films. Period dramas like The Reader, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and Revolutionary Road, were highly praised at the time, not much seen since.    

I have to mention Wanted. It made a bunch of money at the time but seems now like the last imitator of The Matrix in a year where The Dark Knight and Iron Man set a course for what action movies were going to look like for the next decade. Rather than be a franchise starter, it’s faded away. For the better.

Best Actor

Who won? Sean Penn. Who should’ve won? Mickey Rourke.

Penn and Rourke were neck-and-neck that year. Rourke won high profile prizes like the BAFTA, and Golden Globe while Penn took home the SAG. The narrative that eventually took hold was twofold: Rourke was great but basically playing himself and look at how much the dour, humorless Sean Penn smiles in Milk. There is truth to this. Harvey Milk was probably more of a stretch for Penn than Randy Robinson was for Rourke. I don’t care. Rourke was better. 

Rourke is a great talent who spent years prior to The Wrestler wandering in the Hollywood wilderness. His return to stardom (which actually started with Sin City in 2005) only lasted a couple of movies before he slipped away again. He still acts but not in anything you’ve seen in your theater for quite a while. The Wrestler was a distillation of all his untapped talent. It’s as if he was saving everything he had for one, brilliant burst of creative energy that resulted in one of the 5 or 10 best performances ever recorded on film. That’s what this was. 

His combination of vulnerability and physicality as he portrays the guilt and simmering rage of his character is in perfect balance. This was his year. It’s a shame the Academy whiffed this one.

Best Actress

Who won? Kate Winslet. Who should’ve won? Meryl Streep.

A classic, “It’s her time,” win for Winslet. She had been nominated 5 times before and had another performance this same year that could’ve been another (Revolutionary Road, for which she was nominated by SAG and BAFTA, and won a Golden Globe). Plus, this was a film about the holocaust, which guaranteed her a win (this clip of her on Extras has become one of the great things on the internet).

For Streep, she had already won twice. Amazingly, Doubt was her 15th nomination and she’s racked up 6 more since. There was a sense that Streep had already done her career-defining work (or that her career is defined by the breadth of her output rather than a single performance) and so rewarding Winslet, a great actor in slightly controversial role would be a nice thing to do. But Streep is great in Doubt, an adaptation of a play that feels stagey as a film but also allows Streep, Phillip Seymour-Hoffman, Viola Davis, and Amy Adams to just sort of act at one another as hard as they can. They all raise each others’ games and I think the result was an amazing performance by Streep. 

And if there had been a spoiler, it shouldn’t have been Winslet (who spends a little bit too much of The Reader just making the same, pained face) it should’ve been Anne Hathaway for Rachel Getting Married, a film she caries on her back.

Best Director

Who won? Danny Boyle. Who should’ve won?  Darren Aronofsky.

How much do we credit a director for the performances in their movie? Given Rourke’s history (and future) Aronofsky probably should’ve gotten an award just for wrangling that performance from his leading man.

But he also directed a great movie. I like The Wrestler better than any of the 5 actually nominated films. Aronofksy made a character study that also required a fair amount of world building. How many of us know anything about professional wrestling beyond what we’ve seen on WWE? How many of us even know much about that? Aronofsky basically turned a punchline into a classic and did so on a minuscule budget. It’s haunting and dirty and beautiful in places. And he wasn’t even nominated.

Best Screenplays

Who won? Milk and Slumdog Millionaire. Who should’ve won? In Bruges and Slumdog Millionaire.  

Milk is a well made movie that I like quite a bit so when I say that it rode an “important message movie” wave to a pair of undeserved Oscars, I both believe that and also don’t want to sell it short because it might well have been one of the 5 best movies in 2008 and it might well have come from one of the 5 best screenplays. But it wasn’t the best. That was Martin McDonagh’s script of In Bruges. It’s a very showy bit of writing both in dialogue and plotting but it’s characters are genuine and it all ties together brilliantly. This was the easy choice because it was the right one.

So was Slumdog. Beware of high concepts. This was a very high concept but it worked. Danny Boyle certainly brought his flair to the movie but this script could’ve been made well in a lot of different ways. That means something.  I’m not going to overthink it. 

Or maybe it should’ve been Doubt? No, I’m not overthinking it.   

Loose Ends

I have to talk a little more about how badly The Reader is aging. Maybe it was easier to sympathize with Nazis 10 years ago but the amount to which the film tries to account for why Kate Winslet’s character torturing and murdering people is really uncomfortable to watch. I can see how some might have read it as tackling a complex issue at the time, and the film does touch on interesting and challenging subjects, but it handles them poorly. The best thing about this movie might be Hugh Jackman’s joke in his Oscars monologue. 

The Wrestler was under served this year. Rourke and Tomei got deserved nominations for acting but that’s all. It should’ve been a Best Picture, Screenplay, and Director nominee as well, no question. 

Collin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are amazing in In Bruges. Gleeson picked up a couple of nominations along the way but nothing from the Oscars. Farrell won the Golden Globe for Best Lead Actor in a Comedy and was ignored by most other voting bodies. It was a good year for Lead Actor but Farrell should’ve been recognized. Bruges is all the more interesting because it looks like an inflection point for Farrell’s career. It came out after Hollywood stopped trying to turn him into an action hero and since he has embraced his weird and put together a varied, fascinating career of very strong work.

This was also the year of Charlie Kaufman’s directorial debut, Synecdoche New York. A brilliant, higher-than-high concept movie that seems like it wants to be about life, itself. Beyond that, I don’t know how to describe it except to say it was one of the best movies of the year.

Those are the winners, or at least who the winners should have been, at least according to me. We’ll have to wait until next year to see if the Academy did any better.

You can read the previous awards from 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008.