#easier said than done when the things she's never seen are things you just wouldn't think about!

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[hello-eden]

Unexpended Hope 2

part one

Tim wanted to lay at home at the Manor on the couch and work on his case. He hates galas. He's the best at them but that does not mean he likes it. Dick realizes that Damian's been missing for over a hour so Tim volunteered to go look for him.

He's checked the entire floor above, the cameras in the lobby and he just gets up the stairs for the next floor when he sees him. Tim almost doesn't recognize him for a minute. He has a small smile and is talking with his hands, which is something Damien never does but everything else about him is the same. Damien is talking to someone that Tim can't see.

There's no place to really hide over here so he just stand in the stairway and wait to be noticed. It took a lot longer than Tim thought it would be noticed but in that time he sees the person that Damian's talking to.

It's a girl. 

Tim was not expecting to find Damien with someone let alone a girl. Damien seems to be enjoying whatever they are talking about but that doesn't make it any less unusual. She's auburn hair braided out of her face in a teal mid length dress with black accents. 

What surprises him the most other than the fact that she is not flinching away from Damien is that she's wearing Damien’s suit jacket.  It's about 5 minutes before either of them notices that he's in front of them.

The two of them exchange a look and then Damien seems to go back to his normal self. he's scowling he's glaring at him like he usually does and he has no signs of what Tim's assuming was happiness that he had seconds before.

“Drake, is there a reason you are here?” Damien sneered at him.

 “You've been missing from the party for almost 2 hours. We came looking that you didn't kill anyone” Tim responded back.

The girl that Damien was talking to started to giggle. Instead of glaring at her, Damien tried to pinched her without looking away from Tim. The girl slapped Damian's hand away before he could actually do it.

 “Who's your friend?” Tim questions refusing to be the one to break eye contact with Damien first.

 “Sarah Lauren” the girl replies, snapping in front of their eyes and then holding out a hand for him to shake.

 He does.

 “you're Byron Lauren's daughter right Bruce was just talking to him when I left” Tim smiles his best socialite smile.

it's probably useless now that she's seen him interact with Damian but it's better to be polite. Sarah seems to twitch after he said that. if he wasn't trained as well as he was he wouldn't have noticed.

 “If we are done with this Dreadful small talk” Damian brings the attention back to himself. If Tim didn't know any better he would think it would stop Sarah being uncomfortable. “is my presence required back at that Useless occasion.” 

“Bruce Needs you for something” Tim says trying not to mention what it was in front of the obvious civilian. There isn't anything Cape related but he'd prefer to have Damian alone to talk to him and that would be going much easier if Damien thought it was a cape thing.

“lead the way back to those horrid party guests.” 

Tim does move to leave them back to the party going ahead in front of them but definitely listening to whatever they're going to say behind him 

“How do you know him?”  Sarah asks Damian. Damien didn't instantly introduce himself as a Wayne? That's different or does she not know anything about the Wayans and she just didn't put it together.

 “Third brother” Damien replies. 

“Third brother, how many siblings do you have?” Sarah questioned

Tim needed to talk to Dick about this. He's the one who keeps up with Damien's social life; he'd know what is going on.

[knoxic]

How to be a High Lady? part 2

Eris Vanserra x Mate!Reader

Summary: Reader's first meeting as a HL, Rhysand makes some comments and reader chews him out, then smut🤭

wc: 2k

warnings: Feysand slander, cursing and a shit ton of dialogue

a/n: the way there's so little of Eris here...sorry😔 but I'll make up for it if I make a part 3, with just the two of them, maybe their domestic lives and doing High Lord & Lady things in Autumn, idk maybe smut?

part 1

How they met

Their morning was slow, starting with lazy cuddles in bed followed by an easy breakfast. Her daily meditation helped gather her thoughts and feelings about the meeting ahead, when she focused on it, she could see flashes of messy handwriting and a dark room.

Dressing for the meeting took longer than she'd expected, Eris being the last one to finish so he could match her dress, it had turned into a habit now for him to combine his vest with her dresses or corsets.

After getting through her first meeting, their arrival this time was easier, not caring if people were staring at her or whispering behind her back, she knew today would be tough and her mind was set straight. They were the last ones to arrive, which was weird, she'd made sure they weren't late. The meeting started smoothly, but it didn't remain that way.

"I'm just saying, it'd be better if we cooperated..." Feyre chimed in when no one agreed with Rhysand's words. After hearing those contradictory words she couldn't not intervene.

"No offense, Feyre, but I don't think you're the best person to say that." She said, hoping that it wouldn't cause Rhysand to come for her neck yet. Feyre was stunned for a moment, clearly taken aback.

"And why is that?"

"We can't cooperate if the other part is deceitful."

"Are you calling my High Lady a liar?" Cassian roughly uttered.

"No." Her voice was steady, not showing any traces of fear, because this time she was, in fact, fearless. "I'm saying, how can we know if you're trustworthy when most of your court doesn't even trust you? How can we trust that you won't ruin our courts, like you've done before."

"Again you go speaking of my court." Rhysand growled. "You've been High Lady for a day and think you know everything. Tell me, you seem so sure of what goes beyond my wards... have you been in my court before?" Every word he spoke carried an generous amount of venom.

"No, and I have no desire to do so."

"Then how the fuck do you know so much? Are you a fucking witch or what?" His eyebrows danced showing how pissed he was, apparently not knowing everything seemed to have that effect on him.

The possibilities of what could happen depending on what she responded were running through her head, her first response would be to deny but if she did and they figured it out, which they probably would eventually, she'd be a treacherous witch and that was...

"Yes. I am a witch." The silence in the room was deafening, her ears were ringing, "And so far, my powers have only showed me objects in need of help, faes, humans... courts. I do what I can to help them–"

"I've lived in Night Court for centuries, I helped them, I made things better, I ruled them, you have no right to suddenly decide the way I rule my court is not enough, you don't know." Rhysand growled.

"But I do," her words were firm, matching his tone, "They're not my people and its not my court, but they need someone to care for them, most people in Hewn City have never seen the sky above their heads because they're trapped under a fucking mountain. Have it ever occurred to you that there may be innocent people living there? Children, like your son–"

"Watch it–" Azriel spat. She changed courses.

"Have it occurred to you that maybe they despise you because you never showed them empathy? Instead of trying to gain their approval by providing you could be a good High Lord, you locked them up." She never faltered, every word was spoken loud and clear.

Night's High Lord was fuming, if yesterday she thought his eyes promised death, now they were death. Sharp pain ran across the thick walls she built around her mind, as if claws had just taken a hold of her brain, causing her eyebrows to furrowed as a sharp gasp left her mouth. Thankfully, she spent years working on her mind and everything beyond, and with a strong spell to protect her body, it wouldn't be so easy for him to get through her mind.

"Rhysand!" Eris hissed, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. She needed to act before Eris attacked him, it wouldn't be pretty.

"If you wanted to see it for yourself, you could've just asked." She teased, but it was true, she would've showed him if he wanted her to. She opened her walls and launched him every memories she had of his people, every small shot her gift had shown her of them.

Rhysand's mouth twitched, his frown deepening. She wasn't sure if it was from being unable to break his way through her mind or because the image she told him about was true. Feyre's expression soured and she could imagine that they were having a mind conversation right at that moment, maybe he showed her the images too.

"That's not true" She said. Was that not enough?

"But it is."

"Certainly you've been wrong before." Rhysand uttered, his voice close to a growl.

"No. If it's shown to me, it's true." If they still didn't believe, she might as well tell them how it works, "If I see something, it's because it has happened or will happen soon, I'm able to differentiate them and when I can prevent them from happening, I do. What I showed you has already happened– has been happening for centuries."

"Have you seen things from other courts?" Tarquin's voice was hesitant, "Summer?" He eyes the other High Lords, all of them silently agreeing with his question.

"Well, yes. I saw Spring's downfall but it was too late, and–" Eris' hot hand on her arm made her look at him, searching for any traces that could show he wanted to maintain secrecy, she found none. "Autumn's genocide."

"That's why you took over..." Tamlin whispered, looking at Eris who gave a simple, almost imperceptible, nod in response.

"How long have you been seeing our court in your..."

"Memories. They're memories, from other people, from now and from the future. A couple years, at first I tried to gather information about what happened there but... it was well hidden."

"Oh–"

"Why'd you never say anything? If you were oh so worried about them." Mor sarcastically spoke. For someone who knows what is like living there, she's embarrassingly hypocritical.

"Would it have changed anything? By the time I stopped looking for them, Feyre was already here. Things changed–"

"And she became High Lady, did you not think you could have talked to her, if you're so sure I wouldn't have done anything." She should be cautious, but then, she had been playing with fire for over a century now. She was almost vibrating with the need to speak what she really thought, but her neck was at risk.

"What, little witchy lost her words? Or did your gift make an appearance?" Rhysand smirked at her. Fuck it.

"Feyre was barely fae at the time and being honest... she doesn't even have that much credibility does she?" His smirk fell, the room filled with dense darkness, hands tried to grasp at her but were pushed back by the wards she'd silently set around herself and Eris, knowing they'd come for him too. It was ancient magic, not that easy to break.

"Rhysand! Stop!" A chorus of commands for him to control himself. Eris' and Helion's power lit up the spacious room, the latter using his powers to hold and push Rhysand back, extremely bright light making the room clear again, after all, he was in his home court. In the midst of darkness, Eris had pulled her to her feet to stand behind him, their hands wrapped around the other's waist.

"If you can't control yourselves I suggest you leave, go fight somewhere else!" Helion shouted.

"Helion, I think this is a matter for our meeting, if she knows things, we should hear." Kallias spoke calmly, not trying to set any of us off, he glanced in Rhysand's direction, who was being held back by Feyre with a hand on his arm. Helion seemed to ponder Kallias words, eyeing her and Rhysand and their mates.

"Fine, behave, or I'll ban all of you."

"You can't possibly think I'll just stand and whatch her talking about my mate like that!" Rhysand spat incredulous, Feyre tapped his arm to gather his attention.

"Let's listen to what she has to say." Feyre said, looking back at her friends, trying to hold them back, Mor leaned back against Feyre's chair, where she'd been since they arrived, she'd gladly stand back and watch as Cassian and Azriel ripped Eris to pieces.

"Bullshit, obviously." Their General uttered, still staring her down until Eris blocked his view of her.

"Alright, continue..." Rhysand spoke, staring her up and down before sitting back in his chair, Cassian watched him before stepping back, Azriel still glared at her as he did the same. Clearly Rhysand had just told them to back off. "Go on. What were you saying about my High Lady?" She calmly pulled back from Eris, gently grasping his hand and pulling him so they could sit back down too, taking a deep breath before signing their 'enemies' certificate.

"Your own 'Inner Circle' doesn't respect her commands, how would she change the way a whole city runs?" Rhysand banged a hand against the arm of his chair while Feyre's mouth fell open, his growl echoing through the room before he lunged forward.

"Out, now!" Helion stood up and pointed to the door, "Now, Rhysand."

Rhysand was practically foaming when he left, snatching a hand around Feyre's waist before winnowing out, the other three following quickly after giving her nasty looks, if she didn't know them, she'd think they were cursing her. The tense atmosphere in the room was rough to bear.

"Are you alright?" A soft voice asked her. Viviane.

"Yes."

"That was really brave, badass." She smiled.

"Brave indeed, I can't tell if you're lucky or just that powerful. I don't know how you're still alive..." Thesan laughed incredulous.

"She wouldn't defy him if she didn't know she could take it." Eris smirked, squeezing her hand in reassurance. While she was bragging about her, she noticed Helion with his fingers massaging his temples.

"We can leave if you want, I'm sorry if we made you uncomfortable," talking a look around the room she noticed all of them looking at her, "any of you."

"I think Rhys needed someone to throw the shit he does to his face, none of us were really able to do it, you did, and it was nice to watch." Tamlin said, amusement written all over his face.

"I agree, the Inner Circle has done and said things we don't agree, but any time we tried to mention it they'd just turn the situation over, would pretend it didn't happen that way or that it wasn't so bad. Rhysand and Feyre both need to see that they're not as good and right as they think they are, someone to humble them could be of use." Tarquin smiled lightly and gave her a wink.

"Do they really not respect her? I had seen signs of it but... they seem so close that I just brushed it off." Helion waved a hand while speaking.

"Is not that they don't respect her, I think they just don't take her seriously. I mean, compared to them she is still a child, she grew up too soon but she's still immature. I don't know why Rhysand made her a High Lady but it doesn't change the fact that, he gave her the title, she didn't know anything about being a High Lady and barely knew anything about our world. Maybe she'd make a good one if she knew what to do, but she just sits and lets her judgment be set by what Rhysand says." She seemed to have a talent to make people go quiet. After a moment of silence, everyone pondering what they just heard, Day's High Lord spoke.

"You're definitely something."

[vex91]

Ahn Yujin - Jealousy, jealousy 2

Pairing: Ahn Yujin x Female Reader (Highschool AU)

Fandom: IZ*ONE / IVE

Summary: After the party, Yujin's feelings started showing more but to her surprise and for some weird reason, you started avoiding her.

A/N: A second part that I promised long ago.

Part 1

3rd's POV

"Yujin is at the top of your class and always complimented left and right, why can't you be more like her?"

"That's great but Yujin scored higher right? You should've put more work into it then"

"I don't care about that. Why can't you be well behaved like Yujin?"

That's all you ever heard when you were growing up. Yujin did this, Yujin did that, that's not enough because Yujin did this better and the most infamous you should be more like Yujin line were drilled into your head for years.

They were one of the many reasons you started despising the girl despite her never doing anything to you other than being perfect, it made you feel so selfish that you started hating yourself.

From Yujin:

Are you okay?

You stared blankly at the message. It was sent good 10 minutes ago and for these 10 minutes it was shown as seen on her side.

She must be thinking I'm crazy.

She wouldn't be wrong honestly, even you thought you were going crazy. Going your whole life despising her and now questioning why your heart beat so loudly whenever she crossed your mind. It was weird and you wanted it to stop. It was always easier to hate her, hate her for being someone you tried to be and failed.

But now your feelings started spinning. Did you actually hated her? Or hated how your parents made you feel because of her?

At that party you realized that Yujin was also a human just like you, she wasn't some unreachable being that your parents made her to be but a human with feelings.

Feelings for you like she said.

"I love everything about you"

Yujin is so weird. She loves a girl who always screamed and insulted her when all she ever did was be kind to her.

"She's truly weird" You laughed weakly as tears brimmed at your eyes. How you wish you could undo some things you did in the past now that you realized how you truly felt. Did you even deserve her love? To be with her? After everything you've done even you would walk away if you were Yujin.

But it was Yujin.

Of course she wouldn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yujin was dying from nerves. A week passed since the party and you vanished completely. You didn't show up at school and never answered her texts. Your friends were also clueless about your whereabouts as you also didn't text them.

She expected everything at that point but not getting a text from you in the middle of the class with one sentence:

Meet me at the park.

That's all it took to get her stuff and run out of the classroom, not caring about the screams of her teacher or friends. All she cared about was getting to you.

She ran and ran and soon saw your figure standing by the river. You looked so small in that moment. Your confident aura you always had gone and replaced with insecurity and fear.

Your eyes met and in instant you buried yourself in her chest, crying into her shirt and Yujin let you. She didn't say anything as she caressed your back and let you let it all out, all your regrets and sadness that were gnawing at you for years. And she listened to everything you said, for the first time she felt like she understood you.

"It's not your fault Y/N, it was your parents who were in the wrong here. You shouldn't feel guilty for their actions" Yujin whispered in your hair after you calmed down a little. She hated seeing you blame yourself. Yes it were your actions but it was your parents who started everything and influenced you.

"Plus it's not like I ever minded it. I still fell for you" You snorted at that, already feeling better with just her words and touch.

"You're so weird Ahn Yujin"

"But you love me right?" Her voice was confident but it held a little bit of fear and uncertainty that were gone as soon as the next words left your mouth.

"Of course I do. I love you even if you're a weirdo for loving me"

[lavender-romancer]

Loving girl

Tommy Shelby x reader

CW: suicide mentions, grief

You've always known you would be a better partner for Tommy, after Grace died you had to reassess your motivations for being close to Tommy because he needed a friend more than ever before

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

When you were younger it was easier to deal with the unrequited feelings of a teenage crush. Everyone has those feelings when they're around 15, it's not unheard of for them to go away after a few years or even months. But this was incomparably different. You didn't know how to express your feelings in a coherent way to him, the way you had always shown affection towards him was support and material things like buying him cigarettes or baking him something. There was no way to vocalise your feelings because you were so awful with expressing yourself. Instead turning towards sexual and substance based distractions which would allow you to forget about him for a moment.

Tommy didn't care for labels unless there were children involved, he didn't have girlfriends only women he fucked. Grace became his wife because of Charlie and you didn't know if it would have been different if she wasn't pregnant. Tommy Shelby expressed fondness for Grace but nothing which you would call love, responsibility was more important to him.

You so wanted the story of the two of you to end happily, the teasing that the two of you got from the Shelby brothers was enough to make you hope there was something there but it was a story. A story that you liked to manufacture an ending for rather than feelings based in fact. Tommy saw you as his closest friend but since that wouldn't be too popular with his new wife you'd been seeing each other less and less over the years. You still saw the other Shelby's and Michael at the Garrison most evenings and at work but Tommy was scarcely around.

Everyday felt prettier when you saw Tommy, when he was in a room with you it made you feel instantly more comfortable. It had been this way since you were younger, racing to meet him after school and go on a walk together before having dinner at Pol's house. The memories of your youth where your minds just contained an emptiness of anxieties that you'd experience later in life. You'd never seen Tommy quite as anxious as when you saw him after Grace had died. It was the first time the room didn't feel prettier with him being there. you could appreciate the stoic dimness of the lamp on his desk and how the grand windows let in a beautiful amount of light but… just the bags under Thomas' eyes indicated how sleepless these nights had been.

"Got these for you and made you some stuff, don't worry if you don't eat it," you softly placed two packs of cigarettes and a tin of pastries on his desk.

"Thank you," he said gruffly with a nod, immediately looking at the packaging of the cigarettes "The posh ones eh? Spending all that money on me?" He showed the hints of a smile and you took it gratefully.

"I mean, clearly in a slum like this you could do with the glamor of taste," you said sarcastically and he scoffed.

"You always have the worst attempts at humor I've ever heard." Tommy sat back in his chair and rubbed his eyes.

"Oh shut up, now give me one of those and we can chat," you held your hand out and Tommy handed you a cigarette which you lit after you sat down on the chair in front of him.

"Chat, hmm? We haven't done that in a while have we." Tommy reminisced.

"I meant to apologise about that. I should've made more of an effort to see you." You pursed your lips uncomfortably but Tommy waved you off.

"Not at all, she wouldn't have liked you being here anyways. It was a good decision, jealousy can fester from any corner of a friendship." Tommy lit his own cigarette.

"How has today been?" You asked.

"Just as shit as the others. My never ending guilt and the wish I had died instead is still such a strong feeling," he paused "Do you think it will ever go away?"

"That's a lot to ask of your unconscious thoughts, Thomas. They're not usually that helpful in normal situations." You smiled at him and he nodded.

"I thought so, Charlie will now grow up without a mother and that's one thing I can't fix with all the money in the world. It's so frustrating." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"How is Charlie?" You changed the subject because you feared that line of conversation would go nowhere.

"You're doing that thing you do again," Tommy looked like he almost smiled.

"What thing?" You narrowed your eyes at him.

"The way you change the subject when I start getting emotional so I don't actually get there," he commented and you shrugged.

"It's what friends do isn't it." You took a deep breath in and out.

"You're too considerate for your own good, Y/n." Tommy tapped the ash off his cig and looked into your eyes.

"Only to you," you said quietly.

"I know, I appreciate it. A lot," he paused "I always wondered what it would be like to have that amount of consideration all the time."

"What do you mean?" Your palms began to sweat.

"Just when I'm imagining a world like that, you know? With more people like you," Tommy paused and smiled sadly at you. "It would be infinitely better than what we suffer with now."

"Tommy… you've drank too much today," you said cautiously looking at the half empty whisky bottle on his desk.

"And yet, I'm thinking clearer." He suddenly stood up and walked over to the window.

"What are you thinking about?" You asked.

"How I want to burn it all," he said in a stoic voice and you could have shivered at how serious it sounded.

"Well I don't think arson would be the best move for you next." You smiled to yourself and he let out a small closed mouth smile before leaning the side of his head against the window.

"It's something Michael said when I met him again, that if he saw the pretty white brick wishing well in his old village again he would blow it up just to see the bricks everywhere. I want to do the same thing to this fucking house half the time," Tommy closed his eyes.

"But this is now Charlie's home, you have to think about consistency with his life from now on." You reasoned and Tommy nodded slowly.

"He's the only reason I haven't done it. The only reason I won't." He walked back to his desk and sat down before pouring another whisky as well as one for you.

"Thank you. So, what's next?" You asked, sitting back on the sofa nursing your glass.

"Business, business, business I think. It's the only way I know to distract myself from the enormity of this fucking house and all the fucking loss that's occurred throughout it." Tommy sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Why don't you tell me about it? The loss I mean." You proposed and Tommy sounded like he scoffed at the idea.

"Turning into my personal shrink now are you, eh?" He asked.

"I'm being a friend." You said simply and he nodded.

"You're right, but I'm not the man for those kinds of conversations. I don't know how to verbalise any of it," he took a drink. "I do sometimes wish we could go back to being 14, lying in wildflowers without any issues we couldn't solve with a bit of practical thinking. Everthing is so fucking hard now, Y/n and I don't think I can cope with it for much longer."

"You don't mean that, we were just innocents but, we all have to grow up at some point and you decided your life path when you got married and had children within the marriage. You can't back out now to go back to a simpler time or something," You placed the glass down and walked over to the desk.

"Why do you fit so well together?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're so reasonable and caring and you want to help me even though I've been a terrible friend. You like your job and your house and your social life, everything fits together so well. Whereas I always feel like I'm on the verge of the end everyday." Tommy looked up at you and you shook your head.

"You know I'm even better at lying than you are. That's how I do it, fake confidence, fake togetherness. Whatever it takes to get me through the day because eventually it feels normal to me." You reached over and touched Tommy's hand.

"I used to crave a normal routine but then after the war I couldn't deal with the plague of silence that comes with it. Everytime I would have normality it would be colliding with some kind of crisis I created to make my own life more interesting." Tommy rubbed his temple with his other hand and you frowned.

"And what does wallowing in it do for you?" You asked.

"I know, it's fucking deluded of me. But I don't know how else to get through. How do you deal with grief?" He asked.

"Talking about it for a start, I don't know…screaming sometimes works. When my mum died I punched a wall." You laughed and Tommy smiled to himself.

"I can see myself doing the second thing at least, talking about it makes me want to commit. It's just…so fucking sad because Charlie's mum's died when it should've been me. It was a bullet meant for me." Tommy sighed and you walked around his desk to stand in front of him.

"Come here," you beckoned him to stand in front of you and he slowly got up and straightened his waistcoat.

You pulled him into a deeply needed embrace, Tommy hadn't received any type of comfort that had actually worked until now. He cried. He cried for the mother of his child, he cried for the fact that he didn't love her. But most of all he cried for himself, his own shame at being alive.

Peaky Blinders Taglist:

@queenofkings1212 @severewobblerlightdragon @cl5369 @fairypitou @stressedandbandobessed7771 @shadow-of-wonder @hipsternoionlylikeunicorns @curled-hair-red-lips @lucystivinsky1315 @lovemisshoneybee

[sea-owl]

I'm having Portia Addams au thoughts.

Here's the link to the orginal: link

For those who are unaware at one point, my gothic featheringtons and isekai Portia aus kinda mixed into this idea that Portia, an Addams family daughter, moved back to Spain with her young kids after the death of Lord Featherington. Over the years Portia and the Addams manage to surprise adopt the other spouses and some of the spouses siblings. Portia also manages to "corrupt" Mary into being her best friend after a trip to India. This au also had a dash of Edmund x Violet x Portia to my surprise that people requested it besides my crazy self.

ANYWAY I just had an idea set in this universe that in the 1814 season during the country house party that did welcome families to the day activites, to Aubrey Hall Violet sent an invitation to Featherington House with an unlimited number that she could bring (Violet never knew if Portia's family grew bigger and she knows Portia might just come back with an extended member or two) just in case, as she has always done. Violet knew realistically Portia was not leaving Spain, despite wishing she would.

Well surprise surprise Portia had actually come back from Spain with her family and best friend in tow to receive the invitation the day after the Bridgertons left to get Aubrey Hall ready. The servants who were to collect the response from the Featheringtons and record the numbers for how many were arriving were rather new and didn't know that history between the two families. It never directly reached the ears of those who did know.

"We'll probably have to sleep multiple to a room when we get there," Portia said as she looked around at the children. Four she birthed, four her wards, three who might as well be her wards since they never leave, her two nieces, and her best friend. She remembers Aubrey Hall having a lot of space but she wouldn't want her family to take up more room than needed. Perhaps if they can get four in a room, two to a bed, the children have slept in more cramped areas like the Addams family crypt. She knows there are rooms with two beds in them, then they would need four rooms? One of the rooms can have a single bed in it too if it makes things easier, her and Mary have no trouble sharing a bed.

"It can't be worse than our recent travels, and most of our bags are packed so it shouldn't take long for us to head off tomorrow," Mary said.

"It's just a shame we can't enjoy the nice dusting this house has gotten," Portia sighed. The Featherington London House looked like a right proper Addams home now. Just needs a few more touches.

"Well think of this," Mary said as she looped her arm through Portia's. "There will be more when we get back and all the curtians will be set up as well to darken the rooms."

Portia laughed, "Oh mi amiga the way you think is brilliant!"

The next day someone familiar caught the family's eye.

Gareth happened to be looking over his shoulder as they were loading up the carriages. "Grandmother!"

This gained the rest of family's attention as well.

"Well, well it as if the dead has risen again," Lady Danbury said as she walked over to the group. "I send my grandson off with Simon over here and now they both return with two old friends who were lost to time."

Portia laughed. "If only we were dead to rise again, it would be such fun would it not?"

"If only to give others a good scare," Mary agreed.

"Lady Featherington and Lady Sharma, it has been too long since I've seen you both," Lady Danbury greeted. Her eyes look over all of them dressed in black and jewel tones. "Still in all black I see."

Portia smiled. "It's just such a happy color, unlike yellow that is a true mourning color."

The three matriarchs continued their conversation when Lady Danbury's eye wandered to the brood of 13 behind sititng in the carriages. She couldn't help raise an eyebrow, how did these two women managed to collect all of them? Her own godson and grandson being among them as well.

Mary seemed to notice first. "Oh let us introduce you to the children."

"Mis hijos!" Portia called.

One by one the children lined up. Lady Danbury recognized last names of some and those she didn't recognize she did see their resemblance to their gentry family members. Did they kidnap these children? Well some she wouldn't blame if they were happier being kidnapped. She's heard rumors about some of these families.

When Lady Danbury found out they were also heading to Aubrey Hall she offered to have Mary and Portia ride with her. Then she swatted them on the bottom with her cane when they tried to suggest something else. They only raised an eyebrow unimpressed with the light swat but agreed to ride along.

The children climbed into their own carriages with Simon, Gareth, Michael and Phillip climbing into one. Kate, Prudence, Lucy, and Felicity into another. The last carriage had Philippa, Sophie, Penelope, Edwina, and Posy climbing in.

"Well the Viscount and Viscountess Bridgerton finally have someone who can compete with their large brood," Lady Danbury joked. "The children will take Aubrey Hall by storm."

"I was actually surprised to receive the invitation," Portia confessed. "We didn't tell anyone in England we were coming, our leaving Spain was last minute."

Lady Danbury sat up straighter. "Truly?"

Both Portia and Mary nodded.

"We thought it best for the children's future prospects to take at least a season here. Spain is still recovering after the war."

Portia then muttered something in spanish that had Mary gasping.

"Like you're one to talk!" Mary exclaimed, lightly pushing Portia.

The two women continued to playfight while Lady Danbury smiled. A thought just hit her. She knows the looks viscount and viscountess used to send Portia when they thought no one was looking. And now they have no idea she's coming to their country house party. Oh Lady Danbury is about to have some fun.

[blacklegsanjiii]

Rest in peace Perona her efforts will not be in vain… she’s having the formative sapphic experience of Definitely flirting with someone but them being too oblivious to ever pick it up so they’re just stuck in a friendship hole.

And the boys with Zoro 😭 they’re not doing any better . They miss their brother…!

Though thinking about it with what you said about not really believing in soul marks in regards to Zoro and zosan being implied to be soulmates, I feel like if that ever came up they’d tear him a new one . Zoro is entirely decked out in threes. The swords, the earrings, he prefers doing things in sets of three (new thing he didn’t know about himself that the brothers point out to him actually) , so is their three just not good enough for him??? Huh ???

Though also that leads me to ask. How are zosan in this au? I imagine they’re kinda turbulent in their usual way, but it would be fun to know more 👁️

- Wine

THIS IS SO LONG WINE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME??

(thank you this is very fun)

Perona will never be forgotten! Mihawk will also make sure she knows her failures are not her fault, but that it is quite funny to see her fail. Perona argues that it's easier for him and Sora just because they have soulmarks. Sora then tells them about their first meeting and that it was a whole event and she's surprised the guards didn't kill him. Mihawk argues that he would have just kidnapped her then and there and killed the guards if they wouldn't release him. Sora just frowning at him with crossed arms. Mihawk stares back and points out it was an entirely valid option.

Where as 124ji miss their brother and whine about not being able to talk to him or get any updates on him for two years. They look at the hilts and braids on Zoro's swords and think of their brother and his mark. They ask Zoro about his mark and he shrugs and shows them. It's a school of all different types of fish in the bluest blue they've seen but it's on his back. They ask if they know who his soulmate is because they know. They can tell who it is but Zoro has no clue and doesn't care really. So they don't tell him. When Mihawk finds out he asks Zoro why he thinks denying himself will make him stronger at some point during their training together. Zoro says he wants to focus on fulfilling his dream and making sure Luffy becomes the king of the pirates. Mihawk sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose and points out he didn't get become the greatest until he was in his thirties, after he saved Sora and started raising all the kids. Zoro shrugs and says that doesn't know what that has to do with him and Mihawk says it's a waste to ignore the power of having something to protect, that having that person, that family draws a strength greater than just wanting to be the the greatest.

Zoro shrugs and 124ji bemoan their brother going through soulmate rejection because they remember the rose colored view of soulmates Sanji had. Zoro looks at them with confusion and Niji says they were right about it when they were younger. Zoro asks what they mean and they point out the three swords, three earrings, that he does do things in three so what is about Sanji that he doesn't like so he rejects his soulmate. Zoro is staring at them. Because they're clearly fed up and they're talking about how they were right when they were younger about his soulmate not loving him as much as they do. Zoro argues he's never even seen the cook's soulmark and Mihawk chides his sons to be quiet. Zoro didn't want to know or be held back by his soulmate after all.

Zoro of course is thinking back to the cook asking him about soulmates in Cocoyashi after they saved Nami and her village and what he told the cook who nodded and stayed quiet. The agression and snide remarks. Of course it had to be the cook. Zoro always found Sanji when the blond got lost in the woods and always tailored food to him. So now Zoro, who's kinda been a dick to his soulmate for months and he's staying with his family and planning to kill his dad. The blond who has been telling people he knows his soulmate but they're not together, won't ever be together. The blond who sometimes gets a faraway look in his eye before going back to give his all to care for the crew.

Also like Sanji has to absolutely have game if Zoro "rejected" him. With all the flirting he was doing as a teen hoping to find his soulmate he has gotta have so much fucking game. So Zoro is with Mihawk and Sora and their kids and Perona as he running through the gambit of emotions of what happened up until Sabaody and he just looks like when Perona hit him with a ghost on Thriller Bark. Perona is yelling at Zoro that he's been so fucking dum and not cute because only he could reject his soulmate who is a one way ticket to Mihawk.

[frodothefair]

Sometimes I become that middle-aged conservative mom (even though I don't have kids, so I suppose a metaphorical mom) who perennially rants about how nobody appreciates her.

I'm not a saint, after all. I crave a little recognition now and then.

An example, recently, has been my chronically online housemate who continues to struggle with her mental health. (Cut for sensitive material).

She's had yet another meltdown over something that happened on twitter (she's a trans person, so maybe that makes sense), and the only reason yet another hospitalization was averted was that her friend came over and took her to her house for the weekend.

So Mr. Nisilë, said friend, and I have been talking a lot about what we can do to help the housemate, and at one point Mr. Nisilë opined that he wishes he were easier to talk to, that we could have created a more supportive environment and engaged with her more, though coming from him, this is a ridiculous statement -- he can build rapport with anyone, which is why I was drawn to him in the first place.

So I went off on him. I ranted that we had done more than enough in letting her into our home in the first place, because she's not family; she's barely even a friend. That we pay her phone bill every month, and buy her groceries when our other house mate, who pays for the majority of her food, is unable to or is unavailable. That we're ok with her lack of hygiene, the state of the bathroom that's closest to her room, her tone-deaf singing and her random yelling. That we routinely drive her places, because she has no car and does not know how to drive, and neither gas nor time is free. That we're ok with her having hookups in her room with people she meets on apps, that we've seen her through two hospitalizations and two attempts on her life; we've hidden sharps, spoken to hospital staff, driven her to appointments and helped her find resources.

Believe you me, I know of what I speak when I say most people wouldn't do this. When I was ten or so, my mother, younger brother, and I had to flee an abusive situation. We were a respectable family in dire straits, a hardworking mother with two well-behaved children, and we had many friends and acquaintances, but everybody denied us a place to stay for completely BS reasons. The only person who didn't was my grandmother's employer. He was a man with an elderly sick mother, and my grandmother worked as their live-in housekeeper and caregiver. The three of us lived in a tiny bedroom in their home for three months -- the bedroom was meant to be my grandmother's, but she slept on the couch.

That is why I will never begrudge our housemate what I do for her. I will never see her as a burden. But to hear that I haven't done enough when I already have done more than 99.9% of the population would do was extremely upsetting. That's different from seeing her as a burden. I can deal with all of the above inconveniences, but I should still be allowed to be angry with her for not acknowledging my efforts, the fact that she f-cking won the lottery between me, Mr. Nisilë, and our other housemate.

A sarcastic voice inside might say, "well, what, do you want a medal now" for hearing people's problems all day and trying to solve them, for your financial contributions, for helping out another person in need?

Well, you know, maybe I do. I do a lot, and none of it is easy, because I have disabilities of my own. I may have some relative privilege, but also disadvantages in spades, from day one. So maybe a simple thank you would be nice -- explicit appreciation of how nice the house we keep is, the fact that we have enough resources to help out, that we don't care about a lot of things that would have been dealbreakers for other people.

But the thing is, the housemate is hardly capable of such a thing. She has too many troubles in her head to think of others, and that's part of her illness. So maybe it is not fair of me to expect that.

It's just that... They say a good deed is its own reward, but sometimes it does not feel like enough.

[rougevingirl]

bobal (9) - jenna ortega please? ❤️‍🩹

❝Unfinished Paths❞

Character: Tara Carpenter

Words: 1117

Warnings: none

Wine: Bobal

Number: 9

Prompt: exes to lovers - both ending up in the same small town 8 years later…what could possibly happen?

❝prompts with wine❞

I really tried to write for Jenna, but as the text developed I realized that it was better for Tara, nothing makes much sense, but I hope you like it. There's no happy ending here, just anguish.

"It's so strange that we've ended up here together after all these years, but you still don't want to talk to me. You're just going to spend the whole evening drinking wine and eating takeaway, aren't you?" she asked. You had no idea why you always had to talk about these things now, always at the wrong time. Why couldn't you just get on with it as an adult? 

"Are you sure you don't want to get drunk one last time before you leave for New York? We haven't done that since we graduated from high school." - It was true; you hadn't even realized it until now. Should you have known that your only friend and girlfriend, ex now, would be living in New York City after she finally graduated, after all the turbulent events how could she go on in Woodboro? You should have known that one day that relationship would end and leave a gaping wound in your chest, even after years it still hurt so much... And yet, he didn't seem to care. Could it be that she was so used to it? So used to it that she no longer missed him?  Miss the relationship they had?

No, it wasn't that at all. No. There was something else bothering her. The point was that there was nothing wrong with her. She had always been kind to you, and still was. She was kind and helpful and very pretty. But it was more than that. The way she said things made them seem a little different from what they really were. Not in a bad way, of course, because how would she know what she wanted if her life revolved around the past, around what other people wanted? She probably wouldn't understand that at all, she wouldn't understand herself. It was just that she seemed to expect you to respond in the same way that everyone else did. And that... wasn't right at all.

There was something else wrong with her, you realized now, something beyond all the troubled events of the last few years. The reason you never wanted to think about her again was because you knew exactly what it was. Because you remembered. You had been best friends before graduation. Girlfriends. And then she'd gone to New York City and you'd broken up and then barely talked for months. Now, suddenly, you were back in the same city? What had happened between then and now? Why did you feel so lonely? What was she hiding? What had changed? Why was everything so much easier before than now? Everything was still "the same", but it felt like things had changed so much. Why couldn't you understand? Why couldn't you see the signs? Why couldn't she? Was there a part of her that wasn't even there anymore? Something inside her was gone. You knew that. He had seen it happen many times before. But when? When? Where? Had it been before or after graduation? Had you even had a normal conversation? Or were you the only one who had noticed? It was so strange; you wished you could just ask her the questions you were thinking, but you didn't think she would answer them anyway. And you really didn't want to know.

"I'm sorry to keep bringing it up," she continued. "But it seems that every time I try to mention it, you run away like the plague. Remember our first date? Remember how uncomfortable we were at first? Remember how nervous and awkward we were when we tried to kiss? Can't we just start again?"

Yes. Yes, they could. You remembered. You also remembered that it had been amazing and wonderful, everything that should happen with a first kiss. So why did you feel so miserable now? You looked down at the table, remembering those days. Your eyes fixed on his face before you slowly shook your head in denial. "That's not it at all. We went on lots of dates and kissed several times. Don't get me wrong. I love kissing you. More than anything. And I can promise you that I would never push you away to avoid kissing you." It may have sounded silly, but honestly, you meant every word you were saying. You loved kissing her. It had been the only time you had really felt happy, fulfilled and alive. It had been perfect. And maybe you needed to go out with her to forget about it for a while and create new memories with someone else. Someone other than her. And Tara, someone who wasn't you. "But I can't. I really like you. But I can't..."

She frowned in confusion, also looking perplexed. "Why? If that's really the case, then why are you so determined not to see me, not to be with me?"

Because you couldn't do that. "Because I want to. Very much. I want to see you all the time. But I can't. Because my life is here in Woodsboro. This is my home. And I don't belong anywhere else. I mean, it may sound silly, but I love this town. It's where I belong. My family is here. And my work is here. And my friends are here, and my girlfriend is here..." You stopped when she opened her mouth to speak again. That was very difficult to explain. You had to find some kind of excuse. "And I've decided to stay here, I know everything that's happened has been terrible, but I'm just leaving here to pursue my life in Boston, where my girlfriend's family lives. And maybe I'll go on like this forever. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm not going to let anything else ruin my perfect life here in Woodsboro or Boston maybe..."

She stared at you, clearly not liking the answer that came out of your mouth. Her lips formed an "o", obviously not expecting it. "I see," she finally replied. She stood up abruptly and turned to leave the restaurant. "Well then, I guess we should move on. Goodbye, Y/n. Have a good night."

You said nothing. Simply watched her walk away. You hated yourself so much. You were a coward. It was just that you were afraid. Afraid to accept what had happened before your graduation. Afraid to accept what was happening now. Afraid that maybe it was a big mistake, a sign, something that would change everything. And, above all, afraid that you were falling in love with someone who wouldn't fall in love with who you were now. That was your biggest fear. That you would become just another person she would fall in love with, but who would never be good enough.

© rougevingirl - scream and horror writer

[jammed-out]

Hypnovember Day 8 - Witch

(CW: implied transphobia, witch accusations, good ending, gender euphoria)

"Throw the witch in the cage. We'll see her tried and hanged by morning."

Alfie fell hard against the floor. He slid against the stone bricks, slamming against the puddles of dirty water in a crumpled heap. His torn clothes tearing against the rough floor, cutting into his skin. They hadn't listened when he protested he wasn't a witch, instead simply opting to arrest him and throw him in the dungeons.

He wished he had magic. Things would be easier if he did. Perhaps life wouldn't have been so hard to live if others were more accepting or if he could simply change his body. He tried to hide, to live where nobody would bother him, but secretly he knew this day would come. He sat up, curling up into a ball against the wall. Now it was simply a matter of waiting for the inevitable.

Time passed slowly within the dungeon. With no way to know how long it had been since being thrown in, Alfie could only sit in the silence and wait for anything to happen.

A commotion could be heard outside with multiple voices scrambling to speak and protest. Alfie tried to listen to the far door, but the muffled sounds gave no indication of what was happening. Suddenly the door opened.

"Your majesty. I must protest. The witch poses-" One of the guards said before being interrupted.

"The witch poses no threat to me. Remain at your post. I will summon you if I need you." The queen walked in, her shoes clicking against the dungeon floor with a loud sound that echoed off of the walls. Alfie had never met the queen but had heard about her. She had taken the throne young, after her entire family had died. Not much was known about her, even before taking the crown she had rarely been seen in public. She was well renowned, bringing great prosperity and public relations with other kingdoms to the realm. It was said she held influence and that any who knew her loved her.

She stopped in front of Alfie's cell. She was younger than expected, perhaps no more than a year older than Alfie. She was gorgeous. Slender in form, but tall and regal. She held her shoulders back and chin up without arrogance but with a sense of power and purpose. Her long green dress cascaded down in the finest of fabrics over the floor. She knelt down, crouching to eye level with Alfie, yet even so, Alfie remained almost a whole head shorter than the queen. He could see her muscles, toned like a warrior under the fabric. She seemed formidable, perhaps that is why she was so renown.

"You are no witch."

It was a statement, not an accusation. Alfie shook his head. "Not a witch. Just not what they want me to be. I'm a good farmer, that's all. My crops bloomed exceptionally well this year and they believe me to use magic instead of skill."

"Perhaps it is both."

"I don't know magic. I'm not a witch. I'm just a hard worker."

The queen moved closer. "Perhaps it wasn't you who used the magic then. Perhaps it was someone of a like mind who wished only well for others like herself." The queen raised her hand casting a small glowing light from within her palm. It floated in the air before disappearing. Alfie's eyes opened wide in surprise.

"I must apologize for my mistake in this injustice. I noticed your land was struggling without location to the waterway and sought to provide you a bountiful harvest. I am very sorry for my hand in this."

"You- you're a- a witch..." Alfie said suddenly terrified for his life.

"You have nothing to fear. In fact, perhaps you could help me. For I, much like you, was not what people wanted me to be. But I refused to let others keep me from myself. But it is lonely and perhaps you would be willing to join me in the castle."

"As a servant? My life for my servitude?"

"No of course not. As my friend and confidant. I would wish to provide with my help anything you could want, the same as I have done for myself. To not be so alone. I will have you freed and proclaimed innocent no matter your choice."

Alfie looked for any sign of deception, any lie, anything of danger but there was nothing. She seemed genuine in her request. Anything could be better than death, but to have a friend, someone of a like mind, especially a witch and a queen, it might be too good to be true.

"Could you help me. Truly, be seen as myself?"

"Guard. Come here." The queen ordered. The guard quickly approached, metal armor banging against itself as they rushed down the hall. They stood at attention waiting. The queen stood and walked over, waving her hand. Purple spirals erupted out from it as she spun them around. They floated over to the guard, tangling around his head. He had a moment to react before he froze, slumping over slightly, his eyes glowing purple as they hung loosely under hooded eyelids.

"What is your name? Your true name." The queen asked looking at Alfie.

"Alfie your majesty."

"Guard. I would have you unlock the door for my dear friend Alfie here. Then you shall proclaim to the town that Alfie is not a witch and has been pardoned on mistakes to the crown. Alfie will serve this kingdom as a faithful servant til the end of their days and should be respected as such. Any who hear these words shall know them as truth and any who spread them shall spread this spell far and wide."

The spell's color changed a rich red, tangling, threading into the guard's head. The trail began to ebb, flowing away from her hand and burying itself within the guard's head. She snapped her fingers. The guard waking immediately at attention. Instantly they quickly opened the cell door, not hesitating slightly.

Alfie stood nervously, exiting the cell. The guard bowed to them gently before fleeing to spread the news leaving the queen and Alfie alone. Alfie looked at the queen before bowing slightly in thanks.

"Come Alfie. I would like to show you more of the castle than the dungeon. I suspect you'll find it to be quite a nice place." The queen held out her arm to Alfie to take.

Alfie walked over taking it. "Thank you, your majesty. I look forward to getting to know you better. My life is in your debt. Please allow me to help you in any way I can.

[peachymilkandcream]

My Prize|Part 6|Viking Levi x Evelyn

WARNINGS: implied noncon/dubcon, big age difference, kidnapping, slavery, violence, power imbalance, implied somnophilia, forced pregnancies, mind breaking, yandere behaviour, yandere themes, forced exhibitionism, sexual coercion, blackmail, etc.

================================================

It felt like an eternity before Levi could lift himself out of the mud. He was so weak, the oozing blood not doing helping with his struggle.

How humiliating. Wounded so badly at the hands of a man he didn't even respect, his woman stolen from him. An insult to who he was as a man. It wouldn't stand. It couldn't stand! He might as well take a swan dive off the cliffs into the sea before he would live with the shame of his woman bearing the child of another man.

He would find her, and put an end to all of this so she would never be away from him again.

================================================

The island was exactly as Evelyn had remembered it. Nothing had changed at all. However that was to be expected, she felt like she had been gone for years, when in reality it was just a few months. But only a sliver of comfort found her, deep down she was distraught over what had been done to Levi. He had taken her from her home and stripped her down to little more than an animal, but she was too soft-hearted, she didn't believe anyone deserved his fate. Forced to navigate the rest of his life alone with a disadvantage. She should be there, taking care of him and making sure he made the adjustment smoothly. Or better yet, she wished they had never met at all, then she would have married Erwin without delay, without this gnawing unease and regret.

She had seen the outside world, and when comparing it to her village she found her village lacking. Severely lacking. New inventions were being made every day Levi told her, all to make life easier to live. Her people still resorted to primordial methods to get work done.

The culture of the outside world was different too. With exceptions, couples loved each other. Levi told her that they pledged in front of a priest to be faithful to one and only for the rest of their life. When questioned if this excluded the leader of their town he shot her a look of disgust, saying that such a thing would never happen. He called it cheating, saying it was like bending the rules in a game so that only one person got ahead, and the rest were taken advantage of. This was foreign to her, her village believed that a couple should be faithful but it was an honor to be with Erwin.

As she thought on it more, Evelyn realized she didn't want Erwin to have the right to sleep with whoever. If they were to promise to be with the other until their dying breath she wanted him to be with her alone. She was nervous to approach the subject but if he was to be her beloved, then he would listen to her. Right?

================================================

Upon arrival, barely and notice was given before Erwin set up and executed their union.

He told her it was because now that he had almost lost her he was determined that no one could take her from him again. It was said in the most sweet and loving way that she had no idea how dangerous this all could be.

During the feast that followed she dared to approach the subject of fidelity, she wasn't sure why she was so nervous to ask. Up until now Erwin only showed anger towards Levi, which he claimed and she believed was justified. There was no reason he would be aggressive to her.

"Erwin-"

"Husband." He said without sparing her a glance, she followed his gaze. Watching him taking in another girl bent over to serve her husband. The stare at her chest made Evelyn's skin crawl, especially considering she had once heard Erwin joke that if his wife wasn't pleasing enough on their wedding night he would bring in another.

"Husband. I have a request I must beg of you to grant."

"Barely married an hour and demanding favors I see."

She flushed, more nervous now. "Please, I beg of you to hear me out."

"Very well."

"We are pledged to each other now. Until death. So I was, wondering if I could beg of you to forgo your rights as leader. For me."

"My rights?"

"Yes, to lie with another-"

His eyebrows furrow. "Where did you hear of this?"

"I learned of it during my time on the mainland. It's appealing to me husband, please."

The silence stretched for so long she feared she had made a horrible mistake. Until he brightened.

"If that is what you wish my dear, then you shall have it."

She sighed, relieved slightly, but still nervous. When with Levi, intimacy hadn't been that terrible, rough at times but overall pleasant. And he seemed to need it. So she didn't mind. But with Erwin, for some reason she was terrified of their wedding night. She hoped he would be gentle at least.

================================================

Evelyn's wish was short-lived.

The moment they entered the bridal chambers he changed. Evelyn had thought by his demeanor that he would be sweet and kind, but the way he grabbed her and pushed her down made her soon understand how wrong she had been.

Such aggression she had only seen during her first night with Levi. But this, this was a whole new level. She thought maybe it was the anger that he didn't get a virgin bride after all. Part of her wished he had simply rescued her and let her live a quiet life in the village and chosen a new bride. But that wouldn't be the case. She had been molded into this for years, Erwin and her parents wouldn't let this go.

They had been overjoyed at her return, before preparing her for marriage without delay, not even asking if she was alright and had any injury, the aggressive and borderline barbaric nature with which they treated her grew a small seed of doubt and fear in her mind if they really cared for her best interests.

She thought of this while Erwin's hand kept her on the brink of consciousness while so brutally taking her. Her vision was fuzzy and just as she was about to slip into the comfort of nothingness he released her to gulp in some air before continuing once more.

He was a ferocious animal unwilling to stop until her cunt was filled. Evelyn sighed in relief that he was done, but within a few minutes of reprieve her returned to her again, this time prodding her other hole.

"Wait-"

She managed to spit out before he spit on her. All the assistance he needed before violating the only hole of hers that hadn't been deflowered. Her mouth and cunt long since taken by someone else.

It was painful and new, aggressive while he stretched her out. If he had given her time, it might be pleasant. And at that moment her mind drifted to Levi of all people. Imagining in her weakness that it was him doing this to her.

With those thoughts the pleasure started to build, allowing her moans to slip out as her pussy clenched on nothing. It continued to build until they both climaxed at once.

Now that he was finally done with her Erwin seemed pleased with himself. Happy that such a thing had been done. But there was something in his demeanor that made her shiver.

She knew she'd never tell him who she pretended he was during their most intimate moments.

[diagonal-queen]

If it's not too much trouble, could you please write about Chuuya's reaction when new mafia member!reader runs up to him and blurts out "Teach me how to fight!" before realizing that was probably a rude way to say that and getting embarrassed 🫢

Reader is gifted and even smaller than him and joined the Port Mafia because she wanted to learn from Chuuya specifically.

His New Trainee

♡ synopsis: You're a new recruit at the Port Mafia whose goal it is to receive the guidance of Chuuya Nakahara himself. One day, you finally gather the courage to ask him to teach you to fight.

♡ wc: 1.1k

♡ cw: Cursing (c'mon, it's Chuuya), Chuuya is a little scary, mentions of fighting (c'mon, it's the mafia), lmk if I've missed anything

note: My love, writing is NEVER a trouble and I'm always happy to do so! I simply couldn't refuse a fun request like this 🌸 (apologies for any errors present)

"Teach me how to fight!"

Whatever courage had suddenly swept over you disappeared the second those words escaped your lips. It wasn't common for a mafia executive to pay much attention to relatively new, lower level mafiosi, let alone directly teach them how to fight. Apparently, however, that logic wasn't enough to stop you from approaching him when you found him alone in a hallway and blurting out your plea.

Chuuya stared down at you, eyes slightly widened at the sudden expression of interest. He was immensely intimidating to friends and foes alike, but because you thought so highly of him he was especially scary. Not only was he taller than you, and his figure was rather imposing, his azure eyes were burning holes right into yours as if you were one of his targets.

"What did you just say to me?" Abnormally, you couldn't read Chuuya's expression. You couldn't figure out whether or not he was angry, confused, or simply taken aback by your statement. You stood silent for a moment, before you realised your cheeks and ears were very quickly warming up, and likely turning a very bright and noticeable shade of red.

"Oh, gosh..." You massaged the bridge of your nose in embarrassment. Of all the ways to go about it...

Chuuya was your superior, and, this being the mafia, could easily snuff out your life in the blink of an eye at his discretion. What were you thinking, approaching him so brazenly and asking him something like that?

You already knew about Chuuya's ability and sheer strength prior to joining the Port Mafia. You'd known immediately that you wanted that strength, and that if anyone would be able to help you attain it it would be the executive himself. Though you had assumed it would be easier said than done, given your stature and experience, you persevered and actually managed to score yourself a rank in the mafia, albeit a low one. Being a mere assassin, you didn't necessarily stand out at all. That was, until you impulsively decided to run up to Chuuya just now.

"...I want you to teach me how to fight," you repeated, meekly. "...please, sir."

Chuuya quickly looked you up and down, then folded his arms.

"What's your name?" He asked, tilting his head ever so slightly. You caught the movement and cursed yourself internally. Of course he wouldn't know who you were.

"I'm Y/N. I'm an assassin. I've been a part of the organisation for two months," you answered with as professionally monotone a voice as you could muster.

"You got some balls, approaching me like that and telling me to train you," he said, and you felt your hands grow sweatier. He wasn't necessarily wrong, but that was the scary thing. "Why do you want me to teach you how to fight?"

You inhaled, shakily. At this point you were lucky that he was even hearing you out. "Well...I usually use my ability in combat. It's...fine, but I want you to help me reach my full potential with it. I know it's a presumptuous request, but..." You finally gathered the guts to look up and met his sharp gaze. "I've seen what you can do with your ability- and I know, mine isn't as strong, but I think that with your mentorship I could fully hone my skill. That's why I..."

"...why you...?" He raised an eyebrow , prompting you to finish. You knew you absolutely weren't ready to admit such a thing to him, especially to his face, but keeping him waiting might have a worse outcome.

"...why I...joined the Port Mafia at all."

"...eh?" He certainly didn't appear to expect that answer. You began to panic, worrying that you'd just given him a very skewed impression of what you intended to.

"I-it's not like that..." You stammered, but he just shook his head and held up a gloved hand to stop you before you snowballed into a nervous tangent.

"Shut it for just a second, lady. You mean to tell me that you came here," he quickly gestured around the building, "to the Port Mafia, and became an assassin just so you could ask me to teach you how to fight?"

Well, when he put it that way, it sounded stupid. But deep down you still held out a sliver of hope that you would achieve what you set out to find here. You figured you wouldn't get anywhere by making yourself seem insecure about it.

"That's right." You gave the mafioso a firm nod.

"Geez, he really knows how to pick 'em, huh...?" Chuuya murmured to himself before he adjusted his hat and let out a sigh. "Well, it's not like I haven't done any one-on-one training with a subordinate before. But I don't think you know exactly what you're getting yourself into."

"No, I know." You replied eagerly, without hesitation. Chuuya raised his eyebrows and let out a small, surprised chuckle.

"It'll be hard, y'know. For a while, you're probably gonna get your ass kicked."

"I know," you nodded at him, determination sparkling in your eyes, "I'm prepared."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely, sir."

You both stood silent for a moment, eyes locked. It felt almost like he was evaluating you, but you remained stoic, the look on your face clearly displaying how seriously you felt about this. Soon, seemingly having had enough of testing your resolve for the moment, Chuuya placed his hands on his hips and straightened.

"Alright."

"Wait- what?" You blinked, your brave front immediately broken, and Chuuya let out a scoff that echoed through the hall. "You really- what?!"

"Bet you weren't expecting that, huh, newbie?"

"I-I...guess...I really expected a lot more pushback..."

"That kind of attitude will make things a hell of a lot easier for me, that's for sure..." he exhaled. "Listen- I don't normally agree to things like this, but I get the sense that you have a lot of promise. Find me here again at this same time a week from now. Hopefully once you start training you can prove me right."

"Of course, sir," you responded, barely able to hold back your elation.

"Then we're done here. I've got work to do and I'm sure you do too," he said, earning one more nod from you.

"Yes, sir. Thank you again," you bowed to him, before quickly turning on your heel and scurrying down the hall. Once you thought you were out of earshot you let out a joyful squeal. It had actually worked, after all. You were going to start training under Chuuya Nakahara. Such an idea was more than enough to have you bouncing with happiness.

Unbeknownst to you, Chuuya was still close enough to have heard your sound of excitement. When he did, he simply let out an amused sigh, and smiled.

shall i begin a taglist or is that too ambitious of me

[ceruleanmusings]

Blood Diamond; Year Four

Year Three

@partiallypearl @myloveforhergoeson @witchofinterest @raging-violets

"Ouch! James - really, just go sit somewhere and be quiet!"

With a roll of her eyes followed by a scoff, Brooke leaned down and rubbed at her throbbing ankle. Whoever decided to get him a fire truck for last year's Hanukkah gift she needed to have a word with. She made a list for a reason! Nowhere on it were toys that could cause damage. It's why she refused any paint sets, anything sticky, Play Doh, and anything with glitter. She wasn't going to let him cause more damage in the house than he already did.

"Kids, right?" The woman in the chair next to Brooke shared with her a conspiratorial smile.

"I don't get why he can't just sit still," Brooke muttered, sitting straight once more. Her eyes slipped shut when the nimble fingers of her hairdresser started rubbing her scalp. "He always gets into something. Every time I turn my back."

"It's that age. He's about three, right?"

"Four."

"Four? Wow."

Brooke sniffed. She got that a lot. He was s till a touch on the shorter side but he was solid. She knew it well. From all the times he launched himself at her from across the room to give her a hug, nearly wiping her out. No matter how many times she scolded him or told him to be gentle, or at least not run in the house, he didn't listen.

He always wanted to give her a hug for some reason. Her personal space meant nothing to him. He crawled over her, pulled at her, clung to her, followed her around. She couldn't even get her hair cut in peace! Sterling couldn't take him, he was off to some important meeting. So he said. She didn't buy it for a second. What manager or agent would want to deal with a washed-up band of losers who never saw daylight and smelled like week-old booze sweat from the Midwest of all places? But she'd never seen him that animated before, rushing out the door with the promise that this was going to change everything.

Yeah. We'll see.

"It gets easier," the woman continued. Brooke stopped herself from asking "does it?" because it felt more to her that ever year just gave her more of the same. "Mine's seven. It's the best. By that point they're starting to get some independence and they want to be away from you. They can do things on their own without being underfoot."

"That sounds like a dream," Brooke mumbled.

"You'll make it. In the meantime, you just need to keep him occupied."

Brooke snorted. It cut through the sound of metal blades rubbing against one another and the delicious sensation of the teeth of a comb scratching against her head. "That doesn't work. He could be reading a book and the minute I walk away from him he's chasing after me asking what I'm doing and if I want to play. I'm busy running the house and keeping it clean with all the messes he makes. Of course I don't have time to play. I barely had time to come here."

Getting her hair done was a non-negotiable. It was the only time she got out of the house where she could look presentable and stay that way. The grocery store? Forget it. It was a pain trying to shop with James trying to reach for everything, asking what everything was, why people ate it or used it, and then begging to play on the little rocking fire truck at the front of the store when they checked out or begging to get a piece of gum from the machine. No and no. It was gross, dirty, germy, and she didn't want him getting gum in her hair or slobber all over her clothes.

"I'm sure you'll find the right thing in no time."

What did she know? Her kid was seven. She probably already forgot how annoying four-year-olds could be. James had to tell her everything he did that day, even if she was there to see it. And he didn't do much.

Lately all he'd been doing was watching that mouse movie over and over again. American Tail or something. His grandmother, Bubble as he called her—he misunderstood Bubbe—gifted it to him for his birthday and he wouldn't sleep until she put it on for him to watch. Over and over again, he begged and pleaded to start it over from the beginning when the credits started to roll. "Again! Again! I love Five-ul, Mommy!" Sterling would stay up with him to watch the same scenes and listen to the same songs one after another. Brooke would go to sleep. One of them would need to be rested for the next day. She needed her full eight hours of beauty sleep.

"Vroom, vroom!" James ran around the lifted chairs, hunched over a firetruck he pushed along the ground. The wheels spun and squeaked, lights flashed, and a tinny siren poured out front speakers. He pushed it around until he slammed it into the leg of the coffee table holding magazines with wrinkles and coffee rings on the once glossy covers. Plopping himself, down he grabbed two of the firefighter figures off the truck and started bouncing them up and down on the table. "Don't worry, people, I come and help you!"

"I'm sorry about him," Brooke said, her words flat. She directed a look at the back of his head but James ignored her as he extended the ladder on the back of the truck to reach the table.

"It's okay," the hairdresser said with a laugh, cutting off more hair. "We have a lot of space around here."

James took the space, running back and forth from the sinks to the table. Other women in the shop smiled at him as he passed, a couple chuckling and mentioning how cute he was. He didn't mind, having been pulled into his own world of fires and rescues. Finally, he tired himself out and flopped onto the unoccupied couch by the coffee table, clutching the figure of a firefighter in one hand and a lady in the other, bouncing them around the arm of the couch.

Brooke allowed herself to close her eyes and relax again, now that James was quiet. But the silence only lasted a few moments until she heard it.

Some-where out there, be-neath the pale moonlight Some-one's thinking of me and lov-ving me tonight Some-where out there someone's saying a prayer That we'll find one a-nother in that big some-where out there

James was slightly sharp on the higher notes but the rest—the tone, the speed, the cadence, the depth—he had on lock. He should, with all the times he'd played the tape, all the times she heard the same incessant songs. Something about that one he stuck with, though. He sang it every morning at breakfast, he sang it in the bath, sometime she found him staring out the front windows watching the mailman or dog walkers go by, singing with his nose pressed against the glass. She tuned it out at this point, like the droning voices of the fake-happy news anchors or morning talk shows who acted bright and shiny because they didn't have children to look after while they reported "feel good" puff pieces and talked to celebrities.

At least, until it was brought to her attention.

"Excuse me?" It was the woman in the chair next to her again. Her hair was folded up in sheets of foil but her bright blue eyes were trained on Brooke. "Does he always do that?"

"What? Sing?" Brooke heaved a breath. "Is he bothering you? Because—"

"No, he's not bothering me. In fact, he's great. Amazing, even!" The intensity behind the woman's eyes grew. "A voice like that out of a four-year-old? He sounds so mature. I can only imagine what he'd sound like when he gets older."

"Yes, well..."

"Is he in classes? Do you have him training with anyone?"

This time Brooke did laugh out loud. "Of course not! He's just messing around. He's just making noise."

"I think he could do more with that voice when he's not messing around. He knows what he's doing." The woman twisted to her side and it wasn't until she placed a business card in Brooke's hand that she understood what this woman was getting at and she wasn't crazy.

"You're serious," Brooke stated.

The woman nodded. "Dead serious. I have my son in singing lessons and taking classes. He's being eyed to take on the role of Oliver Twist in an upcoming stage production."

Brooke's nose winkled in a sneer. "I'm sure it's local."

"For now." The woman shrugged. "They're looking for funding to have it tour the country. And we already have meetings set up in New York—"

"Meetings?"

"Yes. He'll need headshots and training and he's getting into some model work. This guy"—the woman pointed at the glossy embossed name on the business card, sitting above the words TALENT SCOUT | VOCAL COACH—"is the best you can get in Minnesota. He knows talent. And I think your son will fit right in."

"This isn't a joke?" Or some strange ploy to get Sterling to drop more money they didn't have on another pipe dream or failed business venture.

"We just paid off two cars with the money that's been brought in." The woman shrugged again. "It gives us more leeway in case something comes up. We've been able to travel. Take more vacations. Have more time as a family..." As the woman spoke Brooke's eyes traveled the woman from head to take, taking in every piece of jewelry, every article of clothing, and those shoes. She wasn't dressed like a Minnesota mother, in sensible shirts and pants and sneakers that had no shape and certainly only existed for function. No, she dressed like she was a somebody.

And if anybody was a somebody, it was Brooke Diamond.

"...Thank you." Brooke carefully held the business card in her hand. I'll see what I can do."

Brooke's hair was finished soon after and her head swam as she scribbled her name on a check. More Leeway. Travel. Vacations. Money. The status Brooke always felt she deserved, she was entitled to. All the things her husband just couldn't provide. All just from putting James in some classes?

"James, do you like singing?" Brooke asked as she buckled him in his car seat. Thankfully he got in without a fight today. She couldn't risk sweating out her $750 expense. Sterling said she paid too much just to get her haircut. She always told him looking good was priceless. Boys just didn't understand.

James nodded, his head bouncing off the backrest of his car seat. "It's fun."

"Do you want to sing more?"

"I can sing more?" he asked, kicking his legs.

"Yes. A nice lady in there gave me a card of someone for you to meet. If you impress him, you can sing all the time and make people happy."

He stared at her in that way she found unnerving, without blinking, very focused, as if he was trying to look straight into her soul. He'd been doing that a lot lately. "...Will it make you happy, Mommy?"

"Oh yes, James, it'd make me very happy."

He smiled, showing off perfect rows of little teeth. "Then I want to sing, Mommy."

Taking his face in her hands, she placed a very light kiss to his forehead. "I was hoping you'd say that."

[frostythefrostedfox]

Spoiler Alert for Inside Out 2, you've been warned, if you keep reading from here on, that's entirely on you friendo

Nuff time has passed, and I know it's only been like a week, but in internet time that is like 500 days

Inside out 2 was mid as fuck, not even Harry Potter makes me snooze this hard; is literally the first movie, with the same problems with the added problem of constant retcons and a super unsatisfactory ending. I would give it a 5.5/10, at least Blue Beetle made me feel something other than annoyance, even if that emotion was anger

I guess pixar wasn't lying, they are truly trying to massify the appeal of their new stuff by basically copypasting "The Current Trend TM" into the movie where it fits or not. What is this, a modern sonic videogame?

The scene in question was very well done, it felt very real, but don't forget there is still 85 minutes of movie to consider, and I bet it'll be just like the first one, where nobody remembers absolutely anything from the movie except for that one specific scene, the ending and the ending alone.

I really thought that pixar was onto something with Cars 3, when things seemed magical yet real, when the life lesson of the movie was something that is usually hard to hear, but no, instead we got "Be selfish and lie, that'll get you what you want", because that's exactly what the ending does by giving Riley what she wanted instead of punishing her for her blatantly shitty actions and being an even worse friend, nope, instead everything is solved with a hug and everyone's cool with her, what is accountability am I right?.

Joy apparently learned absolutely nothing from the first movie because now she has even more control and is doing even worse shit than before, in the first one she was just a control freak that kept the other emotions from doing anything, but in the second one she is even worse, now she straight up tries to make Riley forget things so she can create an idealized version that fits her perfect ideal of who Riley is, is like her whole take of the first movie wasn't that there has to be room for other emotions and that it is okay to not be happy all the time, her take seem to be that you should absolutely get rid of everything that doesn't makes you happy because that's just easier than acknoledge your mistakes, lie to yourself every single day of your life, that'll make you happy! And the least said about how Starbucks Karen coded she is in this movie compared to the first one, the better

I am not even going to talk about the huge ammount of inconsistencies with the first movie that were just shoved in for unknown reasons, like Nostalgia, did y'all forgot that Nostalgia is the emotion that Riley discovers at the end of the first movie when the memories of her past are a mix of sadness and happiness?

And lastly the marketing, it was the most corporate thing I've ever seen since the garfield movie, ew, never thought anyone could ever do it worse. Just product placement in bigger brands so they can hijack your attention for a couple of seconds while you consume another product and secure their money by force-exposing everyone to their movie. If those had been stand-alone ads I wouldn't have a problem, because that is the point of advertisement, to sell you something, and we know what happens when you barely show the movie you're trying to make money out of, like Elemental, but y'all could at least pretended to believe in your own product's ability to stand on its own two legs instead of ductaping it to literally every other brand that was popular enough at the time.

[seethesunny]

Who is your favourite POV to write from?

Hi, it's nice to see you around Arien! Hope you’ve been doing well ❤️

Okay, so when I first got this ask, I was extra sleepy, and my first thought was to reply, "Usually, third person POV, of course!" But now that my brain is okay, I've come to realize I was in the wrong haha so things have settled down now, and I can reply 🫡

Tess! Hands down, Tess. I'm extremely biased, as you may have noticed previously with all the Tess love here 🫣

When I started, it used to be Ellie because she was 'easier' to write, in the sense that she’s way too similar to me and it came naturally and I still think so, but eventually that's why I drifted to other characters' POV. I wanted to explore other perspectives and expand on others.

So, my favorite is Tess not only because we've gotten so little of her in the whole tlou franchise which is extremely criminal and makes no sense and I needed to get more even if it were using imagination (shout-out to the other 10 Tess fans out there), it's also because there are already so many established ways in that she is a complex character even if we had her for a short time.

You see, Tess is a character whose first impression you get is that she's meant to fit in a survival world, right? Whether it's the game or the show. When she shows up us as the players/audience, witness that she's unfazed by her circumstances (she kills two dudes sent to kill her on her way home like it's nothing, escapes her torture and somehow gets out of jail after being mistaken for a firefly) and pulls Joel to follow suit and set everything in order, which is established as their routine, their day-to-day.

Okay, so in both, we understand that Tess is strong, smart, and resourceful, that she's made connections and isn't afraid to make herself be seen and heard, and of course she's the one calling the shots despite Joel being her partner. Because she is more severe than him, and that has gained her respect.

But we also get the idea that there's much more than what she lets on, or at least that she doesn't show up to the public, and that's what's fun to dig into! She's been officially described by ND as: "She leads her life as a hardened survivor with a dog-eat-dog mentality, but still she is a loyal, courageous, and selfless companion to Joel and Ellie", and that's something important to take into account. That duality that she possesses.

Who's the heart of tlou? At its core, Tess's selflessness in her last moments and her death wish is what sets the story in motion. You could argue that Joel could've done the same without her, but it was an explicit reaction to what Tess wanted, and her impact is something that needs to be highlighted more.

She has hardened as much as Joel. She's tough and rough, yet you also see that she also got jokes, and she could've wanted more (discussing laying low in the game), and ultimately, it is her desire of striving for hope and her view being shaken by a feasible cure (not because of the fireflies, but because there seems to be a need of redemption as the wheels turn inside her head) that makes her clash with Joel in their little trip to hand her to the fireflies.

We will never know if she would've done the same as Joel (though I would like to speculate that if it wouldn't have changed, probably would've just said the truth), but exploring her past and other outcomes in aus is what keeps us going even after years.

I've always found kinda sweet how the memory of Tess lives on in us and the other people who will want to know more about her.

Haha sorry for the ramble! She's one of my favorite characters ever.

[mdhwrites]

So, do you find it odd why the Guardian couldn't just give Anne a new set of stones or even the ability to be able to go back and forth between worlds? Like considering they were able to give Anne the means for a one-way trip back home, why not just let her travel between worlds since she made it clear she isn't gonna take advantage of the stones' powers for selfish purposes?

So I've talked before at decent length on how I LOVE the reasoning for the Guardian to have done what he did, how he did it and how it even ties into the show thematically. Part of that analysis of mine in the past has been that the Guardian himself even points out that his experiment lasted WAY. FUCKING. LONGER than he expected because it took so long for one person, out of potentially millions or even billions of people, to FINALLY do the right thing with the stones. What was meant to be fun and spice up his job now became an annoying nuisance that he was too stubborn to take back.

With that said: Yeah, Anne won't abuse them... But you obviously wouldn't want Anne to be the ONLY one using them, would you? Because the point of her having the stones permanently is for a way back to Amphibia. Well... Does the Guardian think Marcy is a trustworthy enough person to have the stones? Sasha? What if one of them decides to just take them and go, never to be seen again, in a moment of weakness like the one Marcy had at the start of the series?

But let's be kind. Let's say the trio only uses the stones when Anne is around because Anne is the only one allowed to use them. Well... What if Anne trips one day and the stones slip out of her pocket? Or hell, they live in Los Angeles. What if on their way to use the stones, a pick pocket takes them? Or someone steals from the Boonchuy's/Anne's house and gets ahold of them? Well, I guess now some other person has unlimited, ultimate power, don't they? Sure, the Guardian could have a fail safe now to nuke them at any given time but that still means that Anne has screwed up and let that power go and now it's gone because of her negligence. She has failed with this responsibility that she didn't even want. If you think she did or she wouldn't fuck up somehow...

Did you not even listen to Anne? Anne admits that she's not a perfect person. She has a lot of growing to do. That could also mean negative growth though. If anything went wrong in her life while she still had access to unlimited power, to the ability to go between worlds to find an answer to solve what was upsetting her... Does she ever abuse that? Does she ever give into that despair or hurt? After all, change is hard. Wanting to deny it and undo it so that you can keep living the comfortable existence you once had is a lot easier to chase, even though it's a mistake. It's essentially the cardinal sin of the show after all. Marcy has them use the music box so she doesn't have to face the harsh reality of losing her friends.

So yeah, he could have made a perfect set of stones that was outlined to need Anne's entire being scanned each time they were used so only she could use them and no one else but... How is that a better ending? Instead of book ending the story with saying goodbye to your friends and having to face that, we'd have a comfier ending for the audience that didn't make sense for the themes of the show and is weirdly bent towards wish fulfillment in a show that's never really been about that. It'd be worse except for the members of the fandom who want Amphibia to give them all the answers they want in their own life. Who don't ever want the discomfort of leaving their frog show behind or the cruel reality that someday they'll likely say goodbye to their friends too.

When that times comes, no god is going to give you a magic set of stones that let you go back and forth as you please. You'll have to accept that change because sometimes change is forced upon you as a part of life. Not even in the worst ways. Sometimes it's just unlucky circumstances or your own choice. Your dream job may mean leaving your hometown because they ask you to relocate or you already knew that the company's offices were FAR away but you still wanted to work there. Sometimes the college you want is too far away for a day trip to your family so now if you want to keep those ties together, you have to put in the work and find new ways to get back to them.

But if you put in the work, you'll be surprised how loyal and deep those bonds can be.

Like I've said so many times: There's almost nothing in the finale, ESPECIALLY once the Guardian shows up and beyond, that I think you could change to make for a better ending to this show and its themes. Period. You can try to be a pedant about it but you're asking for the show to give you more comfort at the cost of a worse story. That's not what I want and it's not what we should want out of our media, not if we actually want it to ever challenge us and help us grow.

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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.