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idontknowreallywhy Ā· 5 months ago
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Composition Ch 4 -
Poco a Poco Crescendo*
Previous part here
Or you can read the whole of this short thing here (tumblr) or here (ao3).
And yes, the song is written and may make an appearance later (Iā€™m nervous - itā€™s harder to write simple things!!)
(*Getting gradually louder)
šŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’š
He still wasnā€™t talking. Occasionally it looked as though he wanted to but that flash of panic would cross his face and heā€™d press his lips together and gaze into the distance.
The doctors said it was just a matter of patience - of waiting for him to be ready. But theyā€™d also said Virgil was ready to go home and they couldnā€™t have been more wrong about that so in all honesty he had stopped paying them much mind.
Virgil knew his brother could form words because he mutteredā€¦ pleadedā€¦ screamed them in his sleep. Not in a language Virgil could readily understandā€¦ heā€™d borrowed Dadā€™s phone once when he had stepped out to have a discussion with the consultant and whispered the clearest and most common sound into the translation app - uciec - flee? But the rest were too jumbled and it didnā€™t recognise his attempts as words.
It was probably better not to know.
But the not knowing clawed at him. How could he help his brother recompose his melody when he didnā€™t recognise the darker notes in the harmonic line?
Step by step, thatā€™s how. He clung to the faint note of hope that resided in his chest. He had to believe that when Scott started talking it would be ok, that they could work it out together.
But so far the best Virgil could get out of him was when heā€™d hum along a little as Virgil sang. Sometimes it would match what he was singing, other times not so much. The clearest was when he sang Momā€™s lullaby - then the tune was clearly recognisable, if husky and faint.
It was three in the morning and Virgil had startled awake, heart pounding, as his brother shouted again in his sleep. Within seconds, a nurse was at the bedside checking his stats, flicking a small torch over his face. After presumably confirming all was well with the machines they paused for a moment to pat a now quietly slumbering Scott on the shoulder before making a swift exit.
As soon as the door clicked shut, Virgil tiptoed across the floor and settled himself in his usual chair by Scottā€™s right shoulder. Leaning forward on the fall rail, he hummed to calm himself as he made a cursory check of the various readouts. Mostly same as usual: Moderate fever, blood pressure uncomfortable but not too concerning, oxygen sats were ok. So much better than they had been at the start. The maddening beep of the pulse monitor had thankfully been shut off but the gleaming red number betrayed a rate edging on tachycardia. Again, as expected in the immediate aftermath of a nightmare. Which wasā€¦ a lot of the time.
He watched as it began to tick downwards - 102, 101, 100, 99, 98, 97, 96ā€¦ 92, 87, 86ā€¦ it hadnā€™t been that low yet, he must finally be restingā€¦ 84, 82, 80, 79ā€¦ Virgilā€™s own galloping heart rate slowed a little too. This was good. This had to be a good sign.
He turned and reached out a hand to stroke Scottā€™s hair and his heart jumped nearly from his chest as the glow of the monitor screen reflected eerily from the wide dark eyes gazing up at him.
ā€œHey Scotty.ā€
His right arm lifted a little and Virgil took his hand and squeezed it. Scott frowned a little as if concentrating and Virgilā€™s fingers were squished together, just a little, just for a moment.
ā€œLove you too.ā€
It was hard to tell in the near darkness but there seemed something different in Scottā€™s wildly dilated eyes. A sense of intent in the tiny muscles surrounding them. As if right now he meant to be looking rather than staring passively.
Virgil did his best reassuring smile and maintained the eye contact as gently as he could. After a little while his brother seemed to sag, exhausted and let his eyes drift closed again. Another little hand squeeze which Virgil returned while brushing the sweaty strands of too long hair from Scottā€™s cheek.
ā€œYou want to get some kip now, Scottyā€¦ā€ the tiny shake of the head rejected the suggestion before Virgil had even finished asking ā€œā€¦ or shall we sing a little bit first?ā€ Another squeeze confirmed.
Virgil unlocked the safety rail and shuffled forwards to drape an arm across his big brotherā€™s emaciated chest and rest his head on the overly angular shoulder. Ever so quietly he began to sing her song and relished the sound and feel of the faint hum of accompaniment vibrating in Scottā€™s throat.
Theyā€™d get there theyā€™d get there theyā€™d get there.
A trickle of wetness ran into his hair and he faltered, his throat closing before he could reach the end of the line. He swallowed hard to recover then realised Scott had finished it for him.
ā€œā€¦ eee.ā€
So softly, barely audible but it was there. It was more than a hum it was a vowel sound. The RIGHT vowel sound.
Hardly daring to believe it, Virgil started again:
ā€œYouā€™ll soar through theā€¦ā€
ā€œā€¦ ā€˜kyā€
ā€œOr sail on theā€¦ā€
ā€œā€¦ eeeā€
ā€œAnd when you getā€¦ā€
ā€œā€¦. hhhohhā€¦
ā€œThatā€™s where I shallā€¦ā€
ā€œ.. eeeā€
Virgil wasnā€™t sure whether his emotions had stumbled out in the form of giggle or a sob, perhaps somewhere in-between. With a satisfied hum, Scott pressed his cheek into his head and the timid, hopeful note in Virgilā€™s heart swelled into a triumphant chord of determination.
They were going to go home. Together.
šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™
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coco9728 Ā· 19 days ago
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Eeeeeek!
I love this!šŸ˜šŸ’•
Earth and Sky!šŸ’ššŸ’™
And the smiles on their faces are so cute!šŸ˜
And you drew their uniforms so well!
And the hair!!!
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without-ado Ā· 8 months ago
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Full Moon over the Temple of Poseidon l Lolos Marios
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the-wolf-and-moon Ā· 1 month ago
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Earth at Night, Black Marble
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alltheshadesofamber Ā· 9 months ago
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AFTG is a very good example of narrator bias, because if we didnā€™t get a book from Jean and Jeremyā€™s POVs we would have no way of knowing the world does not actually in fact revolve around one Andrew Minyard
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idontknowreallywhy Ā· 7 months ago
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šŸ’™šŸ’š
The love on their faces - I am UNDONE.
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ā€œHappy birthday, little brotherā€
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spacewonder19 Ā· 1 year ago
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Ring of Fire in Cloudy Skies Ā© Bryan Minear
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idontknowreallywhy Ā· 5 months ago
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Resurface 34 - Redux
What went before - Tumblr / AO3
Previous chapter
Also if you never saw my short fic Composition which I snuck in between Presence and this one, itā€™s only 2,700 words in total but as the below references it a fair bit, you might want to have a quick look there.
Anyway, Earth&Sky in the storm time.
Um, second timeā€™s a charm?
šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™
Have you got a plan?
Scottā€™s run had lasted just over 135 minutes so far. According to EOS, he had achieved three new personal bests over some of the steeper segments of the Islandā€™s well-worn tracks despite the relentless downfall making his footing treacherous. He laser-focussed on the familiar path ahead, compensating for the slip risk. He wasnā€™t a fool, well aware that he was likely to fall and turn an ankle or sprain a wrist or something similarly irritating if he didnā€™t concentrate and he didnā€™t have time for that. So he concentrated. Because stopping wasnā€™t an option. He couldnā€™t even ease up the pace yet. Because if he did, heā€™d have time to think andā€¦ andā€¦ no.
He couldnā€™t let that happen.
Heā€™d let too much happen already today.
He hadnā€™t even tried.
Scott! Have you got a plan?
Not yet. But I will in a minuteā€¦
What if heā€™d said yes? What if heā€™d been quicker to think? Was there something heā€™d missed? Some way throughā€¦
Wait, Scott! We need more data. Wait?
If I can just get down thereā€¦
Please, Scott, listen?
He spluttered as a gust of wind blew the deluge directly into his face.
Could you listen?
Heā€™d promised he would, so he had.
He had. Heā€™d listened and heā€™d done nothing andā€¦
Aaaaaaagh.
He growled, shook his head and pushed harder, trying to drown out the memory of his brotherā€™s voice, of all the other desperate voices, with the harshness of his own breathing.
Justā€¦ run. Uciec.
Every life heā€™d failed to save since the very first, clawed at him from the sides of the track. So many of them now. He pressed on, trying not to step on their hands.
Listen!
Wait?
RUN. It was the only plan he had for now.
His pulse thundered in his head as, predictably, the brother he least wanted to see right now joined the trail just ahead of him and jogged easily alongside. The only surprise was that it had taken so long.
Scott pushed his speed up a notch and his quads screamed at him. Good. Focus on that. The rain provided enough white noise that he could almost ignore the sound of the second set of feet pounding along the track.
He counted his own steps under his breath:
Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightā€¦
His pace slowed a little as the path sloped upwards more steeply, his breath little more than gasping nowā€¦ nine-ten-eleven-twelve-thirteen. Thirteen. Thirteen families torn apart. He staggered a little and immediately noticed but ignored the hand brushing his elbow. He pushed on.
Fourteen-fifteen-sixteen-thirteen-thirteen-thirteen-thirteen-thirteenā€¦
All those people had believed in International Rescue. Believing for a miracle in blue.
Believing in him.
And heā€™d stood thereā€¦ waitingā€¦ USELESSā€¦ and then it had all come down and it was too late and they were gone.
He hadnā€™t even TRIED.
ā€œScott, slow down. Please?ā€
No.
Canā€™t.
Uciecā€¦
ā€œDid that already. Didnā€™t turn out so well.ā€
ā€œIā€™m sorry. But can weā€¦ā€
ā€œI need a minute.ā€
ā€œYouā€™ve had plenty, Scott itā€™s beenā€¦ā€
ā€œYou know best of course.ā€ He regretted the snarling tone as soon as it emerged but heā€™d just have to add ā€˜being a good brotherā€™ to the list of other stuff heā€™d already failed at today.
And when Scott Tracy started failing he really went to town.
His breath caught painfully in the back of his throat and his eyes blurred in a way he couldnā€™t blame on the rain streaming down his forehead. All those people. He hadnā€™t even triedā€¦ he hadnā€™t evenā€¦
With a hiss he shook his head and tried to blot it out. Something twinged in his thigh and he weaved slightly as he tried to shake it out. Of course little brother would have seen but he didnā€™t mention it and Scott ploughed on. The path turned and began to climb the shoulder of the caldera. Thunder grumbled away in the distance but he hadnā€™t noticed any lightning amongst the deluge.
ā€œYou know I was right, Scott!ā€
ā€œTHEY DIED! THEY ALL DIED, VIRGIL! GONE! JUST LIKE THAT!ā€
ā€œAND YOU WOULD HAVE TOO!ā€
The unexpected volume finally brought him up short. Virgil didnā€™t shoutā€¦
But Virgilā€™s expression wasnā€™t angry. Scott turned away again, unable to process the agony in his brotherā€™s eyes just then.
ā€œMaybe I wouldnā€™tā€¦ there might have been something I could have done.ā€
ā€œSometimes there is nothing that can be done, Scott. Even by us. Even by you.ā€ Virgilā€™s voice was small now. And it shook.
Scott keened quietly and hugged himself in an effort to control the muscle fatigue shivers that were beginning. He slowly shook his head from side to side, as if denial might yet change the outcome.
Virgilā€™s arms appeared around him and held on tight. The rain continued to slam into the earth around them.
ā€œSometimes there is nothing that can be done.ā€ He repeated softly.
Scott had already parroted these exact words to the GDF officer who had, as usual, turned up too late to be of any use. His heart hadnā€™t been in them. Where his heart had been at that very moment was in the clenched fists of the woman he could see over the uniformed shoulder. Whose eyes had pleaded with him to make it untrue. The wife of one of the local first responders who had been trapped in the mine as it collapsed. The raw agony on her face as she hung limply over the linked arms of two friends and howled was too familiar.
A freak avalanche obliterated all in its path. A sabotaged fighter jet exploded on the runway. A prototype spaceship exploded into atoms.
The second solid hour of pushing past his limit wandered over and presented its bill and Scott folded at the knees.
Virgil caught him and held him up, like he always did. Even when Scott was unwilling to admit it was required.
ā€œWe canā€™t save everyone Scottā€¦ you know that. Dad always said so.ā€
ā€œI didnā€™t even try.ā€œ
ā€œYou would have if thereā€™d been a chance. So would we all. Thatā€™s why we flew all the way there. That matters!ā€
Scott blinked the sweat-rain-weakness out of his eyes and glared at a rock.
No, not weakness. She always said so.
He kicked at the rock and missed.
He wrestled back control of his limbs and straightened up and but continued to avoid Virgilā€™s eye which took some doing because his he could feel his brother eyeballing him as determinedly as the amply muscled arms were holding his torso hostage. Scott pretended to himself that this was why he was struggling to catch a breath. The rainfall increased in intensity and the sound of it filled his ears with fuzz.
ā€œOne of the wivesā€¦ she just looked at me and Iā€¦ I had nothing. Nothing to say to her. Nothing.ā€ His thoughts sped away from his control even as his brother restrained his body from chasing them. ā€œBut what could I say? Weā€™re supposed to stop it happening! Iā€™m supposed to tryā€¦ Canā€¦ can you even imagineā€¦ā€ he dragged in a breath and tried to stop his head swimming as the nausea rose ā€œā€¦ how they feel when we fail? To know the person who made their life make senseā€¦ who they exist for, is gone? Just like that?ā€
ā€œI donā€™t have to imagine.ā€
Virgilā€™s voice was quiet and flat, but cut through the air like a scythe.
Scottā€˜s racing mind ran smack into a wall. The chill of the rain was nothing compared to the ice that suddenly crystallised in every vein.
He swore, silently - he had no breath left to make a sound.
How could he have forgotten?
Already?
It hadnā€™t even been two months since heā€™d held his tormented and terrified brother in his arms and sworn heā€™d do anything. The reason heā€™d stopped today, for the promise heā€™d made was the knowledge of what heā€™d driven Virgil to. And yet somehow as soon as the path between he and the trapped ones had disappeared, the guilt had driven it from his mind. Heā€™d lost his way. Again.
The thunder rolled more insistently. This time the flash was bright enough to penetrate his scrunched up eyelids.
Even if he had the breath he didnā€™t yet have the words. So he dragged an arm out of Virgilā€™s vice grip and hugged him hard. Virgil sagged into the embrace and Scott shifted the angle of one leg such that he was better able to support his larger brotherā€™s weight. He had nothing left for anything more. The fury was gone, leaving only a gaping chasm where the pent up energy had been.
Scottā€™s breath deepened and slowed as they stood there, propping each other up. Even here, even like this, his brotherā€™s presence was soothing. Grounding. It always was. It was why Scott had been avoiding himā€¦ he hadnā€™t felt heā€™d earned that comfort today.
The storm was right on top of them now, the roaring and the flashing almost synchronous. The palm trees creaked and groaned, the rain slammed into their skulls and gushed down the rocky track. The sea howled and tore itself apart on the shore.
And yet all Scott could hear was Momā€™s song. Not with his ears, he heard it in his bones as Virgil hummed quietly into his chest. Suddenly he was in the deepest pit again, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to hold on to anything but his brotherā€™s voice calling him home.
Only this time, he could answer.
And so Scott sung her lullaby to his little brother as the storm raged its way over their island and out across the Pacific:
Youā€™ll soar through the sky
Or sail on the sea
And when you get home
Thatā€™s where I shall be
Go find your adventures
So fearless and free
Iā€™ll wait for you always
As proud as can be
And if there is darkness
No hope you can see
My heart holds you safely
Youā€™ll always have me
At the last line Virgil was gripping him so hard Scott could feel the skin bruising under his brotherā€™s fingers.
ā€œI am such a fool, Virgā€¦ I donā€™t deserve you.ā€
Virgil huffed a sigh.
ā€œIā€™m sorry.ā€
ā€œSā€™ok.ā€
ā€œItā€™s not.ā€
ā€œWas never gonna be easy. Thank you for stopping.ā€
ā€œThank you for asking me to.ā€
Virgil looked up at him, doing an impressive impression of a half-drowned puppy. But for once Scottā€™s heart didnā€™t melt at the sight of an adorable younger brother.
Instead it clenched with dread. Pale, heavily shadowed and his eyes dilated to almost black in the fast-fading light, Virgil seemed almost wraith-like.
This had to stop. He couldnā€™t keep doing this to them. He could see it so clearly now. The empty space in his chest where the hurt and the guilt and the rage and the despair and the fear had resided began to fill with a steely glow of determination:
He would burn the world to protect his family.
Heā€™d do it without a second thought.
So why was he risking hurting them every time he tried to save it?
He kissed Virgil on the forehead then stepped out of the embrace to take his brotherā€™s shoulders in his hands. Blue met brown and held them steady.
ā€œI will get better at this. I promise. Iā€¦ I donā€™t want to leave you guys. I swear it, Virg, please believe me. I never have. The only reason I didnā€™t give up and die backā€¦ back then was because I needed to get home to you. Because you called me home. I knew you were waiting for me. That hasnā€™t changed. It has never changed, not for a second.ā€
ā€œThenā€¦ why?ā€
ā€œI donā€™t knooow.ā€ The bewildered schoolboy inside Scott betrayed his presence with a faint whine. ā€œI donā€™t meanā€¦ Itā€™s notā€¦ Itā€™s justā€¦ā€ He took a shaky breath. ā€œItā€™s hard for me to choose NOT to act. Itā€™s hard to not TRY. It feelsā€¦ Iā€¦ I think Iā€™m scared of the what if? What if I had done moreā€¦ pushed a little harder andā€¦ it had turned out better? Itā€™s hard to see the line where it isnā€™t worth the cost to try.ā€
ā€œYou can see it well enough when one of our lives are in the balance.ā€
ā€œTrueā€¦ True. I guess because its the opposite? Iā€™ve spent all my life worrying about how I can protect you all, so I have to restrain myself from stopping you going out there in the first place andā€¦ yes I know, I knowā€¦ā€ Virgilā€™s single raised eyebrow said it all. ā€œIā€™m the worldā€™s biggest hypocrite.ā€
Scott sighed. Then shivered. His leg muscles sent a polite three-second warning.
ā€œCould we sit down? I might have, um, overdone it a touch.ā€
ā€œWho could possibly have predicted that?ā€ There was a welcome undertone of humour in Virgilā€™s snort.
They landed inelegantly but side by side in the mud. Scott took his hand again and they rested a while, their clothes steaming gently in the warmer evening breeze that had pushed the storm ahead of it. A sprinkling of early stars peered through a gap in the diminishing cloud cover.
ā€œI can see the line for you so I can learn to see it when itā€™s mine too. Iā€™m going to keep listening, ok? Until you donā€™t need to tell me anymore.ā€
ā€œThank you.ā€
ā€œButā€¦ā€
Virgil stiffened.
ā€œI need you to do something else for me too.ā€
ā€œAnything.ā€
Scott considered his words carefully. He didnā€™t want to make the same mistake he had ten years prior and shackle his brother with an impossible vow.
ā€œI need you to change your mission.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t know what you mean?ā€
ā€œThe task you gave yourself when you were smallā€¦ to show me thatā€¦ that Iā€™m worth more than I thought. You have Virg, you always have been doing that but now I see things more clearlyā€¦ wellā€¦ I have to take that one on myself.ā€
Virgilā€™s hand shifted in his as the younger brother sat up straighter, Scott could sense rather than see the shoulders being squared.
ā€œThat makes sense. I canā€™t be your self-esteem for you. But I will make damn sure you keep making progress on it. Weekly mission status updates, minimum!ā€
Scott laughed quietly at the grin in his brotherā€™s voice. ā€œI wouldnā€™t expect anything less. And you have your own now too.ā€
ā€œAnd what is that, Oh Great Commander?ā€
ā€œIf Iā€™ve let Dadā€™s shadow shape me too much, youā€™ve let myā€¦ issuesā€¦ shape you. I need you to find yourself again.ā€
Virgil tensed as if he was going to speak but no words came. Scott pressed on:
ā€œYou are so very much more than my keeper, Virg, but Iā€™m worried youā€™ve pushed a lot of yourself to the side for me and I didnā€™t even see it happening. If I give you a break from being Scottā€™s 24/7 bodyguard and cheerleader, can you use it to give Virgil time to shine instead? Iā€™d really love to see what might happen if you did.ā€
It was too dark to see his brotherā€™s face but the happy relief in Virgilā€™s voice was light enough for both of them:
ā€œIā€™ll see what I can do.ā€
šŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ’š
Your honour, I finally fixed them.
3 more (shorter!) chapters to go by way of epilogue because I promised fluff and bunny ears and they will definitely happen. After all this progress I think theyā€™ve earned it.
Oh and hereā€™s the beautiful art by @lenle-g showing our boys in the rain šŸ’ššŸ’™šŸ˜
Next chapter
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mournfulroses Ā· 6 months ago
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Manuel Bandeira, from This Earth, That Sky: Poems of Manuel Bandeira; "Morning Star,"
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idontknowreallywhy Ā· 5 months ago
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šŸ’™šŸ’š
Oh boysā€¦
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sad boys in the rain inspired by this WIP by @idontknowreallywhy:
Scottā€™s run had lasted just over 90 minutes and, according to EOS, he had achieved three new personal bests over some of the trickier segments of the Islandā€™s trails. His pulse thundered in his head as, predictably, the brother he least wanted to see right now joined the trail just ahead of him and ran alongside. ā€œScott, slow down. Please?ā€
ā€œI did that already! Look how well it turned out!ā€ ā€œYou know I was right, Scott!ā€ ā€œTHEY DIED! THEY ALL DIED, VIRGIL!ā€ ā€œAND YOU WOULD HAVE TOO!ā€ Scott turned away, unable to process the agony in his brotherā€™s eyes just then. He nudged the pace up a little, hoping those that pleading face would fall behind him. ā€œMaybe I wouldnā€™tā€¦ there might have been somethingā€¦ something I could haveā€¦ done.ā€ His limbs betrayed him and he staggered to a stop again, breathing heavily. ā€œSometimes there is nothing that can be done, Scott. Even by us. Even by you.ā€ Virgilā€™s voice shook. Scott keened slightly and hugged himself in an effort to control the shivers that were beginning. He slowly shook his head from side to side, as if denial might yet change the outcome. Virgilā€™s arms appeared around him and held on tight. The rain continued to slam into the earth around them. ā€œSometimes there is nothing that can be done.ā€ He repeated softly. Scott had already parroted these exact words to the GDF officer who had, as usual, turned up too late to be of any use. His heart hadnā€™t been in them. Where his heart had been at that very moment was in the clenched fists of the woman he could see over the uniformed shoulder. The wife of one of the local first responders who had been trapped in the mine as it collapsed. The raw agony on her face as she hung limply over the linked arms of two friends and howled was too familiar. A freak avalanche obliterated all in its path. A sabotaged fighter jet exploded on the runway. A prototype spaceship exploded into atoms. The second solid hour of pushing past his limit wandered over and presented its bill and Scott folded at the knees.
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without-ado Ā· 6 months ago
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Storm cloud over Texas l Laura Rowe NASA APOD
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karlrincon Ā· 10 months ago
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This is how Eclipse Solar 2024 is looking from space. šŸ”­šŸŒ˜
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figtreegif Ā· 3 months ago
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Wardrobe // Martha Jones (Freema Agyeman) // Doctor Who Seasons 3 & 4 (2007-2008) + Torchwood Season 2 (2008) + specials
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idontknowreallywhy Ā· 4 months ago
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A little reread. One of my faves. šŸ’™šŸ’š
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Thunderbird One shuddered as she slid into dock, her whole fuselage groaning as if in relief. As she relaxed, her airframe creaked, losing heat to the cool of the hangar and for a moment everything was still.
Scott let his shoulders loosen, his whole body slumping in his pilotā€™s chair. One by one, he uncurled his fingers from the controls, his joints stiff from holding them so tight.
His head dropped back against the headrest and his eyes closed.
God, damn.
Breath hissed between his teeth as he let it out as if he had been holding it in all afternoon.
It certainly felt like he had.
They couldnā€™t save everyone.
They couldnā€™t.
But god, how he tried.
He drew the breath back in and activated pilot retrieval. Oneā€™s main viewing hatch folded back and the platform extended out from the dock as his chair unfolded to meet it.
Even then it took him a long moment to move.
ā€œScott?ā€ John startled him. ā€œYou okay?ā€
He drew his shoulders up, straightening automatically. ā€œPerfectly fine, Thunderbird Five.ā€
There was a grunt from orbit. John didnā€™t believe him.
Scott was not surprised.
A sigh and he pushed himself out of his seat and onto the delivery platform, forcing the correct stance so he didnā€™t abruptly end his career on the concrete floor far below.
Machinery that had no concept of emotional state hummed smoothly and retrieved him back to solid ground. He took the last step.
Scott stared at his elevator for a solid minute before turning to the stairs and taking them instead.
He needed to move. Needed start his heart beating again. Needed to rescue himself from that vast hole that was sucking him down into its depths. That same empty hole those dead eyes had lured him to once the boyā€™s life had fluttered away andā€¦
He closed his eyes and rubbed his face with a gloved hand.
It was always the eyes that got him.
These ones had been brown, somewhere between Virgilā€™s and Gordonā€™s andā€¦oh god.
Move.
He threw himself up the stairs. Fortunately, there was a lot of them and they made his body work hard. By the time he made it to the locker room, he was panting.
His own breath was harsh in his ears and had a helplessness to it he didnā€™t want to acknowledge.
He shed uniform. His gloves hit the bench, followed by his baldric, his boots skidding across the floor. Struggling not to think, he unzipped his flight suit and shed the thick material, barely acknowledging the cool air as it hit the bare skin of his arms.
Another moment and he flung off his undershirt and shorts and padded over to a shower cubicle naked as the day he was born.
Goose pimples raised on his arms.
The shower was as hot as he could get it. But not hot enough to wash away the bruises he had no doubt Virgil would be targeting the moment he laid eyes on his eldest brother.
Scottā€™s sigh couldnā€™t be heard above the water spray.
Body scrubbed cleanā€¦ever so cleanā€¦red raw in placesā€¦the Commander of International Rescue stood under the steaming shower and closed his eyes.
You canā€™t save everyone.
It was his fatherā€™s voice. The same voice that came to him in all difficult moments. Grey eyes, reassuring smile and a strength Scott wished daily that he had. Jeff Tracy was a legend, bigger than life. Jeff Tracy was his father.
Jeff Tracy was a voice that guided him, that saved him, held him tight and prevented him from falling into that pit of despair that sometimes just loomed.
He turned the water off and let the remains drip off his body.
His left thigh was turning an ugly purple.
Damn.
Another sigh and he pushed aside the cubicle door and grabbed a towel.
It was big, extra fluffy, sky blue and all Virgilā€™s idea. He could still see his brother making his case for luxury towels in the locker room where they were needed. Mental health, he claimed.
Scott, Air Force to the core, had used abrasive cardboard squares masquerading as towels enough times to acknowledge the difference and how right his little brother was. It wasnā€™t a luxury; it was a necessity.
Scott buried his face in deep cotton as the cool air wrapped around him. Another moment and he was rubbing himself dry, his thigh, left ribcage and arm complained. The ache was creeping up on him. He hadnā€™t really noticed other than the sharp collision when he had initially fallen.
But he hadnā€™t had time. Arms full of dying rescuee with a building on its way downā€¦he did what he had to do.
Still, it hadnā€™t been enough.
First John and then Virgil yelling at him over comms. He was fine. The teenage boy was dead, but Scott Tracy was fine.
Just fine.
He scrubbed his hair dry, trying his best to ignore the fact his left arm hated being lifted above his shoulders.
Hair hung in his eyes and he brushed it aside, irritably.
Somewhere outside the rock walls of the locker room a familiar roar swelled and he knew Thunderbird Two and his three brothers were moments away from invading this quiet space.
Scott straightened. It was inevitable. Virgil would not let him escape again, but there might be a few more minutes alone if he got his shit together.
One of the advantages of flying the fast ā€˜bird. First dibs at the showers and that moment to gather himself before his brothers cornered him.
Digging through his locker, he found some underwear, loose pants and an old t-shirt. His usual casual wear beckoned, but even he knew he wasnā€™t fit to go out again, even if Virgil hadnā€™t grounded him yet.
He wasnā€™t stupid.
Tomorrow, yes. Today? He needed a stiff drink and time to himself.
So that is exactly what he did. Detouring to the drinks cabinet, he nabbed himself a bottle of scotch and two tumblers. Two, because he was a realist.
Hair still a damp mess, he skipped up to his rooms, grabbed his tablet, and hid on his own private balcony. From here, he could see the Island, the villa below and the sky to the south. Mateo had birds hovering over it like it always did in the early evening as the day started winding down.
His eyes randomly tracked a lone bird, different from the others, coasting past high above the Island.
He threw himself into an overly plush lounger. Again, a sky blue and Virgil-instigated. Scott had returned from a mission several years ago to find it sitting on his balcony. Not a word had been said, but he knew it was Virgil. Just like the towels, it wasnā€™t extravagance, it was mental health and Scott had to admit to curling up in the contraption on many an occasion since.
The tablet, bottle of whisky and tumblers landed with a thud on the wooden table beside it.
His body creaked as he folded into the chair and he was reminded that he would likely have a medic brother on his ass sometime soon.
He lay back and closed his eyes and forced every to muscle relax.
And tried to ignore the eyes etched into his mind.
Only to be startled awake as someone loomed over him.
ā€œHey, hey, itā€™s only me.ā€ Familiar, soft baritone and deep brown eyes, Virgil was crouched down beside him. His brotherā€™s hair was still curly damp from the shower and he was frowningā€¦at the bruises on Scottā€™s arm. ā€œJust chasing you up after that fall.ā€
Scott shifted on the lounger and his whole body protested. Damnit. ā€œIā€™m fine, Virgil.ā€
ā€œIā€™ll decide that.ā€ That prompted the ghastly yellow scanner light to flicker across his body.
ā€œVirgil!ā€
His brotherā€™s lips thinned to a line as he read the scannerā€™s readout. ā€œYouā€™re off rota at least twenty-four hours, possibly more.ā€
ā€œI know that.ā€
ā€œIā€™ll note that against your diagnosis of ā€˜fineā€™.ā€
Scott glared at his brother.
Virgil rolled back on his heels, eyes assessing in that damned medical way of his.
ā€œVirgil, Iā€™m okay. A few bruises. Iā€™ll live. Stop worrying.ā€ He hated being the source of anxiety.
Still, his brother stared, his frown emphasizing that scar between his eyebrows.
ā€œWhat?!ā€
Virgilā€™s eyes didnā€™t waver. ā€œSit up.ā€
ā€œWhy?ā€
ā€œScottā€¦ā€
Fine. He pushed himself up out of the lounger and sat on its side, frustrated as all hell as to why his brother was being such a pain.
Virgil rolled onto his knees and before Scott could do anything, he found himself wrapped in a massive hug.
His brotherā€™s arms, ever so strong, built for heavy lifting, held him tight, but gently, Virgilā€™s damp hair brushing his cheek as his head rested on Scottā€™s shoulder.
Startled, it took Scott a blink to return the gesture, his longer arms flailing for just that moment of surprise before curling around red flannel. ā€œVirgil? You okay?ā€
His brotherā€™s only answer was to tighten his hold a little more.
Scott frowned, unsure what the hell was going on, but Virgil didnā€™t let go and Scott could only stay tensed up for so long before he was forced to relax into his brotherā€™s embrace.
ā€œWhat are you doing?ā€ It was asked against flannel and his own breath was warm against his lips.
Virgil still didnā€™t answer, but one large hand crept onto the back of Scottā€™s head, fingers stroking hair.
What?
But somehow the question never made it to his lips. Somehow, his body began to melt, each muscle falling limp, those strong arms taking the place of the tension in his body.
Fingers carded through his hair.
ā€œVirgā€¦ā€ But it was little more than breath and he found himself blinking rapidly.
No.
Still, Virgil didnā€™t stop. Scott could feel his brotherā€™s steady pulse, thrumming against his neck, his chest moving with each breath.
Scott closed his eyes.
Ever so warm.
He could have struggled, fought, pushed his brother away. Butā€¦
Brown eyes vacant and hollow. The image had him flinching and the arms around him reacted, shifting just a little. His brotherā€™s baritone rumbled a reassurance he didnā€™t quite hear.
But still Virgil held him.
Held him.
Scott had no resistance left.
That baritone rumbled again and his brotherā€™s free hand began stroking his back.
Nonsense words. His brother was spouting nonsense words.
But Scottā€™s eyes were closed and his body spent. He wilted into his brotherā€™s arms and found himself breaking on the inside.
Vacant, hollow eyes.
So young.
So like a little brother.
Scott scrunched up his face, fighting his own reaction. But Virgil was still rumbling, still stroking his hair.
A single tear escaped to dampen red flannel.
No.
No.
He let the wave of grief wash over him, but refused to react, waiting for it to wane away.
His heart beat too fast and it left him exhausted.
And still Virgil held him.
He lost time for a bit there. Eyes closed. Warm flannel. His brotherā€™s voice. A small part of him resisted it. Virgil was a little brother despite their closeness in age. Scott should be the comforter, alwaysā€¦
But the little boy who had lost his mom, the young man who had lost his dadā€¦the commander who lost a young teenager in his arms todayā€¦took that moment, grabbing it like a life line and accepting what his brother was trying to give him.
He sat there, he didnā€™t know how long, just existing, warm and safe.
Perhaps he would have fallen asleep right there in his brotherā€™s arms, whether he would be embarrassed to admit it or not, but there were bruises and aches and eventually he was forced to gently pull away.
Warm brown eyes peered up at him, still worried. Virgilā€™s hand was on Scottā€™s knee as if he didnā€™t want to let go.
ā€œThanks, Virg.ā€
That hand squeezed his knee in acknowledgement. ā€œLie down and get some rest.ā€ His little brother stood up and walked out of sight a moment, only to return hauling another lounger, this one in a deep green. ā€œJohnā€™s coming down in the morning. We can debrief then.ā€ Virgil grunted as he put the lounge down. ā€œGrandma has an eye on Gordon and Alan, but the Fish has a new Buddy and Ellie series and Alan is hip deep in that latest game of his. I think theyā€™re good.ā€ He threw himself onto the lounge and the structure creaked under his weight. He lay back, crossed his feet at his ankles and closed his eyes. Virgil was obviously here for the long haul.
Scott wasnā€™t surprised.
The scanner lay discarded on the table.
A sigh and he lay back just like his brother. The sky was beginning to pink in the east, the echoes of a sunset he couldnā€™t see lighting up Mateo.
He felt far more relaxed than he had earlier. A tension had been eased, while not entirely, that would take time, lessened considerably.
He eyed his medic brother. The man looked like he was going to fall asleep. The sight of him had Scott yawning.
Damn him.
But it was thought with fondness and with a sudden urge to reach out and hug his brother again.
ā€œGo to sleep, Scott.ā€
Virgil didnā€™t even bother to open his eyes.
Scott sighed and looked back up at the sky. It had been a shit day. Not the first. Probably not the last. Vacant eyes still haunted him and probably would for some time, but a pair of rich, brown eyes full of life and not a little love had somehow managed to take the edge off. His brother had filled that cold vacuum of a hole with warmth.
Virgil began to snore and Scott was forced to smile.
The snoring was probably fake, but it was lulling nonetheless. Safe and home.
Loved.
Scott closed his eyes.
And let himself drift away.
-o-o-o-
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paintedcrows Ā· 5 months ago
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Some Fords! (and Martin K Blackwood is also there)
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killabeeblog Ā· 7 months ago
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