#early ed lb

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

DA CREW'S ALL HERE (iykyk😉)

And below we have the guys (w/ previous LB member, Rob Waters) and their nicknames, circa 1995, pre-Wes (aka "Lucy"/"Lucifer") and pre-DJ Lethal.

(Please don't re-post/share this video edit **with the text I added** anywhere else. Please just only reblog this video edit on Tumblr. Thank you!)

[umflowers]

sustained abuse of whatever kind throughout your childhood and were weirdly chill about it but now you're 17-26ish and you're worrying yourself with your willingness to go bareback with some rando you met at a bar, emotional dependency on shopping that's putting you in debt, buying booze on every trip to the grocery store is becoming a Need not a trivial thing, eating's getting disordered in a way it never has been before, spooked by intrusive thoughts that don't even feel like your own and have no trigger for happening, or any other behaviors that seem really out of character? congrats, you may have a personality disorder that's kicking in. get help. it's really, really okay to need it. you're not weak, overreacting, or being needy. you deserve to give yourself what you need.

99% of "mysterious disappearances" esp of people in their 20s who start acting weird for 48 hours and then vanish are not mysterious, thats just when a lot of reality-obliterating mental illness tends to kick in and it's pretty easy to get a short circuit in your brain that makes you go family guy death pose in joshua tree national park. it's not any less tragic, it's just a documented phenomenon and not particularly predictable. its a big reason the medical advice is for people with a family history of schizophrenia to completely avoid weed and psychedelics. "people just go crazy sometimes" is a principle of human health that used to be a lot more accepted prior to the american midcentury and to a certain extent thats a healthier way to conceptualize and prepare for the risk, as opposed to the modern assertion that anyone acting weird is dangerous and broken forever.

[iamsosmaug]

Miraculous Fic Recs

Recently I've been complaining a lot on the internet how sucky the recent seasons of ML have been, and how much better the old fanfics are; I'm going to prove my point by sharing my tried-and-true rec list. Here we go.

Back To Us - Written in 2017, so some things are inaccurate. Basically Marinette, as Ladybug, kills Gabriel Agreste on accident by pushing him off the Eiffel Tower and Adrien moves to Milan. Seven years later Marinette is a rising fashion designer, her long-lost partner comes back seven years later but hot, and a new Hawkmoth shows up on the very day Adrien comes back. Suspicious. INCLUDES: Antihero!Chat. Alternate superhero names for Alya, Nino + there are only seven miraculouses which honestly I like a lot better than Ladybug just busting another one out whenever she feels like it. At one point, it was the longest fic in the fandom but now it's not even close. 446k. Requires an Ao3 account to read.

Second Chances- Again, written fairly early in the fandom. Adrien is a single dad and Alya volunteers Marinette to be his daughter's nanny - the premise sounds like it could turn out really weird but I promise it's not. Adorable adorable. INCLUDES: Past ChloexAdrien and MarinettexNathanael, and Adrien never went to school. Reverse best friends (Alya + Adrien, Mari + Nino). 105k.

Whose Woods These Are (I Think I Know) - Ladrien Cinderella AU. Super well-written in a kind of fairytale style. I honestly love this fic. 105k.

Spotty Connections - Adrienette texting fic (no miraculous AU, but does incorporate LadyNoir). Tikki & Plagg are M&A's cats. One of my favorites ever. 66k.

Film It - Adrien is a youtuber! Soon all of Twitter ships #adrienette. INCLUDES: Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting. Endgame Adrienette. Superheroes exist, but LB & CN aren't a huge part of this. Also worthy of note: #thatfoursome and a decent amount of Twitter formatting. This has pretty much everything I want in an Adrienette fic. 56k.

Chasing The C/h/atwalk - Project Runway AU. Marinette is a designer and Adrien... is her model. Shenanigans ensue. INCLUDES: Some LadyNoir, mostly after the identity reveal. #MarinetteInDenial. 100k. I love this fic.

Lucky Us - No Miraculous email AU. See Spotty Connections: LadyNoir incorporated without the actual superheroes. Fluff with a tiny bit of angst but still happy ending. 136k.

Secret Santa - fluff. Pure fluff; classic in the fandom. A bit cheesy and very outdated but very nice. Time for a reread. It has a sequel called New Year's Ball. 52k.

Être Majeur - horror, AU, fairly short, creepy and strange but really well-written. 24k. M for horror elements.

La Pucelle Et La Coccinelle - Absolute favorite. Explores Joan of Arc (Jeanne d'Arc in this story) with the Ladybug Miraculous. INCLUDES: Actual historical references, lore for the miraculouses, and a flashforward to the future at the end with Marinette. 38k. I have it printed out, I love it so much.

Pray For the Children You Lost Along the Way - Silent Hill AU (Emilie Anderson from the arcade game is Adrien's mom). It has been on hiatus since 2019, but is still worth a read because so many things tie together in a satisfying way. 86k. Rated M b/c of Silent Hill-type things.

Under Lock and Key - Huge classic also published on Wattpad. Author/artist collab with Maerynn & EdenDaphne - Maerynn passed away while the fic was being written and ED finished it. Very nice art by ED. I view this fic as the quintessential 2017 era Adrienette fic. Very sweet and fluffy. 34k.

Tripped at Fencing - Gabriel hits Adrien. INCLUDES: Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting. Accidental identity reveal (Marinette finds out first). Only 5k but a classic.

The Butterfly and Her Brother series (Generations Past and Future) - written c. 2016. Gabriel is NOT Hawkmoth; Gabriel is not a villian in the least so technically OOC. First couple are set in the 1990s, then a couple in ~2016 and the latest in like 2044. I haven't read the last one in the series but WHATHGAWAATG (Europe gets taken over), featuring the next gen of Agrestes, is really good as well. Many things are outdated/false as this was written based off of s1, but I honestly like this interpretation of the Miraculous much better than how the show does it. Mama Agreste's name is Adele (again, s1) and I quite like her character. I freaking LOVE this series. I have it downloaded to my phone and I reread it when I'm feeling sad. 340k in total, but the longest work in the series is about 166k. SO many kudos.

a fight that you were born to lose - "Adrien finds out that Gabriel is Hawkmoth, and Gabriel gets to bring his long-waited plan into action." TW abuse, emotional manipulation, forced dieting. Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting. Fairly short for how well-rounded it is - 17k.

An Impromptu Proposal - what it says on the tin. Reverse love square kinda: Ladynoir requited love bc Adrien never went to school. Includes identity reveal and Hawkmoth!Lila takedown. 33k.

On The Prowl - Criminal CN. Also on ffn.net. Good story and TOTALLY a classic, but also uses 'ravenette' and 'sapphire orbs' unironically. The writing is okay if a little melodramatic. 53k.

Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List For Feminist Purposes - pretty much what it says on the tin. Sentimonster!Adrien. 7.8k.

i think it's time i told you (i'm a fan of your universe) - ladynoir proposal. v v nice. Just 5k. Smidge of angst.

The Ladyblog Comment Section - what it says on the tin. 27k. Hilarity and crack.

spark - Tinder AU. Lots of Marichat. Angst with a happy ending. 49k. Slow burn w/ eventual identity reveal.

all dressed up and nowhere to go - No Miraculouses modern royalty AU - human Tikki and Plagg. Mostly DJWifi but a mild amount of adrienette and a smidge of chlogami. Includes arranged marriage Adrien x Alya but they don't end up together. "Twenty-five-year-old Marinette is a wedding dress designer, business blooming in her trusty shop, Ladybug Bridal. When the engagement of Prince Adrien Agreste and Ancient Princess Alya Césaire is announced, all she expects is an influx of work. What she gets instead is... a bit different." 35k.

tangled ribbons - Ao3. ballet/dance AU (no miraculous). Adrienette with some DJWifi and human Tikki & Plagg. "Marinette is a small studio dancer who wins a scholarship to a summer long ballet intensive. Adrien is a famous ballet dancer who would rather be at home than at said intensive. The end of the summer will bring about a showcase that could make Marinette's career, if she can ignore Chloé and focus on something other than Adrien." 82k. The slowest of burns.

Where timing is kind to us - Ao3. marichat discusses quantum physics. 4.3k. This is a beautiful one-shot with a one-sided reveal.

[trophyprincess]

I'm an old timer.

34. Grew up fat in the 2000s, aka the worst time in Western history to be a significantly overweight teenage girl.

One day, sometime in early 2007, I decided I had had enough. I was tired of being The Fat Girl. I just wanted people to treat me like a person, not a punchline.

So I got on the ed-but-not-sheeran train. Years later, at 34, I still have pronounced body dysmorphia, or so I have gathered based on discrepancies between other people's self-reported perceptions of me versus my own sensory percepts.

I'm trying to fight my severe body dysmorphia, because it's getting in the way of my love of self-expression through fashion, beauty, and my sexuality.

~~~~~~~~~

Height: 5'6"

HW: 195 (circa 2006)

SW: 131 (circa July 2023, at which point I was seven months pregnant and had no idea lol)

CW: 115? I don't bother to weigh, seems pointless, but I wear anywhere from a 00 to a 4 depending on the brand, garment, vintage, etc. Based on previous experience over the course of my life, I'd guess I'm like 115ish probably. People tell me I'm noticeably thin, but my eyes tell me otherwise when I look in the mirror. Every mirror is a funhouse mirror for me.

GW: I just need to lose a little more, just a bit, just a tad, just a small amount... I think... 5-10 lbs?

~~~~~~~~~

Just made this as a place to remind myself that none of us are alone in this. Body Dysmorphic Disorder sucks.

I want to accept and embrace my body, but it's hard when my eyes stretch and warp and distort the image in the mirror into a sad soggy pile of flab and fat.

I'm trying my damnedest here.

If you are an 18+ adult, especially but not exclusively female or femme, who struggles with disordered eating and weight, I am here with harm reduction tips and recovery advice!

[sportsbianism]

my advice for boosting your health and looking hotter if you're on the heavier side and dont suffer from a scary ed. this is what has really really worked for me.

get a step counter and try to get 7k-15k steps in every day

get a food scale and use a simple spreadsheet to track your calories, protein, and fiber. if you're on the heavier side (200+ lbs) shoot for something like 1800-2000 calories, 100-170 grams of protein, and 15-30 grams of fiber. if you go over calories some days it's inconsequential so long as you are still in a deficit for the week on average. i find it's easier and feels healthier for my caloric intake to fluctuate throughout the week and sometimes go over, maintaining a weekly average that is below my personal maintenance calories (for me maintenance is about 2,400).

get consistent about some kind of hobby that works you out. for me i like lifting heavy shit at the gym 4-5 days a week. i used to love pokemon go and hiking, which boosted my steps every day to like several miles. it's more important to be relatively consistent than to work out correctly. it's better to be good most of the time than perfect every once in a while.

get a scale and weigh yourself naked in the morning after you pee. unless you have a serious psychiatric issue, it's good for you to learn specific information about yourself, having an accepting but forward looking attitude. your weight doesn't define you but it's useful information that can help inform your habits and choices

the only exception to that is the mirror. i hate mirrors. i don't even have a mirror except a small one just for my handsome face.

don't cut out carbs or sweets or fat or anything like that. just try to stick to your macros. i eat a chocolate bar every day and usually another sweet treat on top of that. it's good for me bc it makes me happy and gives me energy for work and for my healthy hobbies. but i keep track of the calories, protein, and fiber because i don't have an instinctive sense of exactly how much is good for me, so it's healthy for me to work with data.

really try to get enough sleep and take your vitamins.

don't make your calorie deficit too steep.

don't restrict your diet in unsustainable ways.

don't do crazy amounts of cardio you don't enjoy, especially not early in the morning. this just cuts into your sleep and makes you lazier for the rest of the day, so you might not even burn any extra calories doing it.

invest in some protein powder. anything around 10 bucks a pound is good, less than that is a really good deal. there's cheap protein powder at aldi and on sale at muscleandstrength.com

love and compliment yourself

keep learning

consider supplementing your diet with creatine and caffeine. creatine is really good for you and a low calorie caffeine source suppresses your appetite. just don't drink at night bc sleep really matters.

drink 4-5 pints of water every day

eat before bed, it helps you get to sleep more easily and if it's protein rich it will help you build muscle. i drink one scoop of protein after my workout and one before bed.

this shit is just simple and it just works.

[lifessoshortandsoami]

Home >> Member Profiles >> Luna (BTS) Facts and Profile

Luna (BTS) Facts and Profile

Luna Profile and Facts; Luna's Ideal Type

Luna (루나) is a member of the South Korean co-ed group BTS under Big Hit Music.

Stage Name: Luna (루나)

Birth Name: Park Aera (박애라)

Birthday: February 27, 1999

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Height: 153 (5'0)

Weight: 46 kg (101 lbs)

Blood Type: AB+

MBTI Type: INFP

Representative Emoji: 🐼

Luna's Spotify list: LUNA's comfort tracks

Instagram: luna

Luna's Facts:

- She was born in Jinhae-gu, Gyeongsangnam-do, South Korea

-Her family consisted of her adopted Mother and Father.

- Education: Seoul School of Performing Arts; Global Cyber University

- She attended Baek Yang Middle school.

- Luna attended Seoul performing art high school, she graduated in February 2017.

- She is the only girl in the group.

- She loves eating spicy food, sweet food basically everything.

- Her favourite colors are pastel colours. Mostly lavender.

- She speaks Korean, English and Japanese.

- She either needs to sleep on a low height bed or with someone who can hold her because she falls off bed while sleeping. (BTS Run ep. 31)

- She has Arachnophobia (fear of spiders).

-She is a lefty.

- Although she catches a cold easily, she still loves rainy or snowy weather.

- She has a dimple on her right cheek.

- Loves plushies so much that every corner of her dorm (room) and the studio has a plushie there.

-Luna is very clumsy

- She trips, falls, and bumps into things so much that the members had to put corner guards on the furnitures in their apartment. (V-Live)

- She has helped write many songs for her group. Some of them are Magic Shop, Spring Day, Pied Piper, Fake Love, Filter, Make It Right, Life Goes On, Mikrosmos, Young Forever, Serendipity, Whalien 52, 00:00 (Zero O'Clock), and many more songs.

- She knew BangChan from Stray Kids before debuting.

- She is a fan of many groups.

- She is extremely flexible due to learning contemporary dance at an early age.

- Her most comfortable sitting position is wariza or w sitting as everyone says. When the boys noticed her sitting like that they also tried to sit but everyone ended up almost breaking their legs except Hoseok. (Knowing Brother ep. 94)

- One of her favorite things is to play the piano.

- She can also play the violin and guitar very well.

- She is mostly paired with Jungkook or is on his team during Run BTS. There's just some unnatural force that pulls them together (as stated by Jin).

- Has been in many false dating rumors just because of her friendliness.

- She has PTSD and panic disorder due to her biological parents.

- She has said that because she didn't receive much love in her childhood, her members make sure that she feels loved 24/7.

- She is very innocent.

- The members have said that she smells the nicest in BTS. Jungkook even mentioned that Luna's scent is his favorite.

- She loves Taehyung's fashion sense and thinks only he can pull off the outfits he wears.

- The most popular ship in the whole KPop involves her and Jungkook.

- Luna placed 3rd on TC Candler's "The 100 Most Beautiful Faces of 2018", 2nd in 2019, and 1st in 2020, 2021, and 2022.

- She's very good friends with Ariana Grande.

- Her shoe size is 210 mm

- She is said to be a very skilled cook.

- She loves reading books, mostly romance novels.

- The members say that Luna smells very pleasant.

- Luna likes collecting souvenirs.

- Luna's ideal date: "Something sweet, like cooking together at home, eating then cuddles. But if he wants to go out then we could go to a cafe... or a library!"

- Some of her popular quotes are: "You got this, girl! Fighting!" and "Am I dreaming?"

Other members about Luna:

- Suga: "Luna is both just like me and opposite of me at the same. Watching her grow from a little girl to the beautiful women she has become now makes me feel like her dad. (laughs)"

- RM: "Wants to be loved. Very kind and gentle, is timid, selfless. She responds and listens well. Says she wears anything but you can see she's got style, very cute type of clothes. Is bright for everyone but dark for herself, very hardworking and self-criticising. Somehow smells pleasant all the time. Very supportive of others, will cheer for you even for the small achievements. She is a cutie."

- Jin: "I've raised her well, she is my child."

- J-Hope: "I love her personality, although I'd have to say that she is too selfless. Doesn't think about herself, her priorities are always the people she loves. She cares for everyone and makes sure that we're eating well."

- V: "She's very cute, I can never say no to her. I talk to her a lot, she is my safe place. She doesn't get angry, and if she does you don't need to fear her. I actually think she seems cuter when she is angry, and she gets angrier when I say that to her."

- Jimin: "She is too selfless, kind and caring. Very gentle, and innocent. I always talk to her about my feelings and she listens without interrupting, giving me her full attention. Very cute."

- Jungkook: "Too innocent and precious for the world. Very cute. She smells so pleasant all the time. Keeps our dorm room clean, although her plushies are everywhere. I love spending time with her. She's the closest to me, we've been best friends since debut."

- Suga about Luna entering High School: "Luna was the most beautiful one there."

- V about Luna entering High School: "She probably was the shortest, you couldn't see her. She was holding Jungkook's hand or we couldn't have found her in the crowd."

- In the dorm, she shares a room with Jungkook. (180327: BTS' JHOPE & JIMIN - MORE MAGAZINE MAY ISSUE)

- Luna's ideal type is someone who would love her unconditionally. She would like someone with tattoos and piercings. Someone who stays fit. Has a cute personality.

Do you like Luna? Do you know more facts about her? Feel free to comment below.

[hollowthatfollowssme]

✩｡:*•.❁ Welcome To My Blog❁.•*:｡✩

About Me Height: 5’2” HW: 182-lbs

CW:126.6-lbs

UGW: 105-lbs

I am 26 y/o college graduate who works full-time. Was recovered for a while but relapsed in 2021 after hitting HW. I got married April 2024 to the love of my life. I am Gluten Intolerant and have a very sensitive stomach. I love K-pop, fashion, kitting, early 2000s TV, cooking, fitness, smoking weed, and anything related to online tea. Absolutely obsessed with trying new diet soda flavors. I have been disordered since the age of 15 and have gone through ana, mia, and BED over the years Proudly Self Harm free since 2018!

What's the Point of This Blog?

When I relapsed in 2021, I discovered pro-ana forums for the first time and I learned that there is a sub-section of proana that is actually pro-harm reduction. I resonated with it because I am not ready for help nor is it an option without losing my job and everything I worked hard for. I feel like I have no choice but to manage my symptoms and reduce the harm to my health the best I can on my own, and I am FAR from being the only person with an ED who feels like this. Many of us have a lot to lose if we seek treatment and that very fact prevents us from seeking help. The next best thing we can do for ourselves is change how we see and interact with disordered thoughts. Instead of starving yourself because you want to disappear, what if you tried to slowly and steadily lose weight so that you can do something you always denied yourself, something that you always told yourself you weigh too much to do? I know from experience, that losing weight quick and dirty only makes you feel worse and DOESN'T LAST once you start to eat "normally" again. Sustainable lifestyle changes are the only way to prevent loose skin, stay on track with a bingeing problem, and keep your metabolism and hormones from going out of wack, (reducing the negative symptoms and long-term health effects of ED.) If you don't believe it's possible, I have lost over 60+lbs while struggling with Bingeing over the course 18 months and have maintained that loss for about 1 year with absolutely no period regain. I went from a US dress size 14 to a size 6 and in the last year that I have stayed 120lbs, I now fit into a size 4 from body recomposition.

How Did You Do It?

1. Address negative thoughts when you can, when you say sweeping statements like "I always mess up" or "Everyone hates me" Challenge those thoughts with facts. Is that really true or does it just feel that way in the moment? Be honest with yourself. Motivation is always coming and going and you can't rely on self-hate to keep you on your diet, people who hate themselves rarely take good care of themselves and stay on track.

2. You don't have to eat low res to lose weight, instead create a proper and sustainable calorie deficit. Use this link to find your BMR and look at the activity level to see how many calories you really burn in a day, most anas underestimate this number. Whatever that BMR number is, subtract 500 calories, this will give you the amount you can eat and still lose 1 lb per week! 3500cals of deficit = 1 lb of loss. 1 lb per week sounds slow but having consistent loss week after week is so healing for someone who has alot of ups and downs emotionally from weight fluxs. If that sounds like you, give slower loss a shot! 3. Stop punishing yourself and find things that you enjoy instead. If you are taking away food to punish yourself or using increased exercise to punish yourself, you are actively sabotaging the only things that help you with weight loss. If you use those things as punishments, you are less likely to want to do them AT ALL. It's so important to find an enjoyable exercise that you look forward to and that relieves stress. Exercise is there to help you maintain your health/weight and using it as a punishment takes all the joy away from it and makes it into a chore you dread and avoid. Instead of taking away food, focus on buying higher quality food in smaller portions, you will find it tastes better and you look forward to planning your meals around those ingredients. 4. Eat high volume low calorie whole foods. Alot of packaged "health" food is just as bad as junk food, they just put a trendy-looking design on the package and the word "natural" slapped on it. before you buy or eat anything you need to be looking at the label on the back. If you want to feel more satisfied with your meals, try to get at least 60g of protein a day and avoid food that is calorically dense especially when you don't have access to a food scale. Try to eat more foods that contain one ingredient and when eating a full meal, try to fill your plate with 2 large servings of vegetables, one serving of protein, and one small serving of a grain or starchy vegetable. This ratio of food helps you feel full and keeps the calories low! If you have any more questions feel free to use my inbox! If you need help to reduce harm and feel like you are beyond helping yourself, please get help from a trusted loved one. Your well-being is worth more than what ever trouble you might get in asking for help. Nothing you did could ever warrant or make you deserve to not live. You are worthy of love and good health and I hope this helps you get a step closer to that.

[butterfly-bouquet]

Intro

Hi everyone

I thought I should have some sort of intro as a pinned post.

My name is Angel and I'm 20 years old.

I'm not new to Tumblr. I joined in 2018 at the age of 13.

I've been struggling with an ED since early 2018. I was hospitalized twice between 2019-2020. Went into recovery for 3 years . I rejoined the family March 2024.

I'm from South Africa so if anyone else is from here please inbox me! I would love moots from my home country. Also would love friends from other countries. All my old ones have been termed or are no longer active.

Stats

Height 156cm /5'1

SW 64.7 kgs / 143 LBS

CW 47 kgs / 103 lbs

UGW 44 kgs / 97 lbs

I'm so close to my UGW and I know I'm going to lower it the moment I hit it.

[beautifulskinnysoul]

This is a long post and I’m sorry for the grammar errors.

I never normally do this but i decided to start stepping out of my comfort zone and find others who are in the same point of life as me. I want to share my experiences and who I am on the inside.

I’m 20 years old and have had an ed for a large chunk of my life, at least 7-8 years. I think it started mostly because of the activities I was involved in. I was a competitive dance who wore very small costumes, I was praised for how little I was. I also did pageants. Now there pageants made it clear that they were not “beauty pageants”, but come on all pageants are based on beauty. I learned early on that skinny is beautiful.

I didn’t have many friends growing up, a few good ones but most of them, I wanted them to be my friends they were really not interested. I was excluded. High school started and I needed to look good everyday and I decided then that I will always stay under 130 lbs. I was known as the very skinny girl. People would comment about how thin I looked and that I looked sick but this is what I want to hear. I want to be scary thin where people ask you if you’re okay.

Fast forwarding and skipping over most of what happened over the years because of manipulation and abusive men that took over my life. I was taken advantage of by men years older than me because they would call me beautiful. At 16, a 19 year old family friend put his hand down my pants and told me to relax and that he knows that I will like what he’s going to do. This is not something I wanted but he was showing me love and it eventually lead to unprotected rape, where he would tell me “why do you always act so scared when you know you’re going to like it”, when I was fighting to hold my tears back. At 17, a 19 year old convince me to run away and I did, I drove across the state to be with him. He had unprotected sex with me when I asked him many times I wanted him to have a condom on. This man manipulated me for roughly 4 years. After countless other emotionally abusive men, I finally started to listen to my heart and I found a pretty fond woman. Now telling my family I’m a lesbian is off the table for a few years yet and my girlfriend is often upset by this fact.

Back to the ed, I would go days without eating. I felt beautiful. I was tired and couldn’t do much but I was so thin, pretty much every bone was visible and I was never bloated because I never ate. With in my girlfriend and I dating for a little over a year now she has, “cured my ed” but I want it back. I noticing my stomach getting bigger, my thighs are being to touch each other. My issue is that I’m on a sport team in college and my coaches were very concerned about me last season because of how sick I was getting. I wasn’t able to participate at time because of fear of me passing out.

With all of this I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do. I want to stop eating completely again and begin to loose this disgusting fat off my body but I need energy to perform for my sport. What do I do? I want to start tracking my weight and what I eat weekly but I need to learn how to hold myself accountable, any advice?

Photo for attention to post

[theglowstickchronicles]

Long whiny personal update under the cut

Up early cause I picked up call today cause I need the moneys. I haven’t been the best tumblr friend lately, going a week or two between posting and not responding to anyone else’s posts. It’s been a really difficult autumn so far. If it makes y’all feel better I’ve also been a shitty friend IRL too.

Back in mid-September I got a regular old headache on a day off, took an Excedrin and sumatriptan that didn’t help but didn’t think much of it. Went to work the next day and it got progressively worse until I was cold sweating, nauseous, shaking, and having trouble seeing. My manager and both assistant managers were on of course and bullied me into going to the ED. Was there for about 8 hours getting CT scan, MRI, blood work, migraine cocktail, and neuro consult. Ended up being put back on my old dose of diamox and a 3-day course of prednisone with an emergent visit to my neuro-ophthalmologist the following week (since this was a Friday night).

She doubled my dose of diamox and started me on topiramate. We staggered this to try and suss out side effects and y’all…. Jesus Christ.

Without any attempt at eating better/dieting and absolutely 0 exercising (I actually had to cancel my hiking trip to the White Mountains / my first of the NE67, super sad) I’ve lost 15 lbs since Sept. 20. My days off are spent mostly laying in bed, although I picked up 4 hours of OT at work the other week and finally got a TV for my living room so now days off can also be spent on the couch. I didn’t decorate for Halloween. I haven’t mowed my lawn in a month (although to be fair it’s been super rainy on like every single day off, thanks New England). Haven’t picked my pumpkins from the garden yet! My house has been absolutely disgusting with bare minimum amounts of cleaning because I’m so tired and feel so shitty, although I just spent the last two days really working on it because I’m hoping to get my basement finally redone in the next few weeks.

Also started going to therapy cause like…this is not how I want to be living my life and sometimes I wake up and wish I hadn’t? And also like I stepped on Duncan’s foot the other day by accident and had a complete MELTDOWN about it. Like he’s fine and I still feel guilty and teary about it. Also. Like. I had a 5 year plan to start trying for kids soon cause I’m getting old and now I’m SOL???

Anyway. My therapist wants me to journal more and I HATE it but I’m gonna start tumblr-ing more and see if that helps. Will not be telling her that lol.

Thanks for dealing with me.

[softerseasons]

went to rheumatology early this year before my WLS to see if my joint pain- you know, in my spine, neck, elbows, knees, hips, fingers, ankles, etc- could be inflammatory, and not Just the hypermobility straining me

ended up explaining to the rheumatologist that i did have hEDS, it took ages to get diagnosed bc my PCP didn't know anything about it really, but we went through the entire checklist and i tick the boxes! i meet the clinical requirements for the diagnosis!

and she was like. oh i know about hEDS, let me take a look

the only thing she did was the beighton scale.

"oh usually people with EDS can put the heel of their palm more firmly on the floor" lady my whole palm is touching but i do have a gut i am working around here, and i literally told you two minutes ago that back pain is one of the reasons i'm in here

"oh usually people with EDS can pull their pinky all the way back to their wrist" in literally what reality, the scoring measure is 90⁰ or more

and that was it. she looked so fucking triumphant when i was like oh yeah my elbows don't hyperextend, as if that cancelled out the fact that my knees literally bend backwards when i 'straighten' them. no examination of the bilateral piezogenic papules on my heels, no test of stretchy skin, no check for arachnodactyly, no measurement of my armspan-to-height ratio... she just looked at me, a fat 32 year old, and went, oh you're not flexible enough to be hypermobile much less have hEDS. she was looking for reasons to disprove what i had already told her i had been screened for.

i dont really know where im going with this. it was just really disheartening, since rheum is supposed to be one of the specialties that does deal with hEDS and should know better than to fall into forgetting that even hypermobile bodies are going to act different at different sizes, with different comorbidities, at different ages. and go figure now that i've lost 72 lbs in the past 4 months, the heels of my palms do in fact press more firmly to the floor.

ugh.

[xx4nxn4l30nxx]

Intro ✨

I posted my stats a while ago but thought I'd post an intro! And some more stuff about me (+Current stats at the bottom)

Hi, I go by the alias Leon, I don't want anyone I know irl finding me so you will probably never see an actual picture of me. I do post a lot about my life and what it's like for me personally to have an ed in their early 20s.

I'm 21 and live on the west coast, I've had an ed most of my life. Mostly a bed though, I relapsed hard in 2019 with 4na and then relapsed hard into a bed when COVID hit and now I'm back with 4na after falling on hard times.

It is the only thing that makes me feel in control of my life.

I'm transmasc and my pronouns are he/they, my dysphoria gets triggered by my ed and vice versa, it is a lovely cycle.

You will often see me make my own templates and such, I feel weird using other people's images so you will rarely find me doing so (which is why most of my stuff looks so amateur lol)

DNI IF YOU ARE:

- UNDER 18

- FATPHOBIC

- TERF, HOMOPHOBIC, OR OVERALL A BIGOT

- 4NA &/OR TRANS CHASER (unless you want to give me $)

Feel free to ask me anything, my inbox should be open 🫰

Hw: 230 lbs

Lw: 180 lbs (honestly don't remember a time I was this small only vaguely lol)

Sw: 225 lbs

Cw: 198 lbs

Gw 1: 200 lbs

Gw 2: 180 lbs

Gw 3: 160 lbs

Gw 4: 140 lbs

Ugw: 115 lbs

Stay safe lovelies, may we have a fulfilling life and recover one day (even though we don't want to rn) 🤷🏻‍♀️

[mars-wont-eat]

TW ~ This is for myself. I do not recommend this behavior.

✨Mars' Ana Playlist✨

Do not go over 900 cal.

Do not go under 500 cal.

Intermittent fasting from 6 PM to 8 AM.

Drink 1 - 2 gallons of water every day.

Choose vegan, plant based, healthy options whenever possible.

Take your vitamins and care for your skin and hair every day.

Daily oral hygiene - extensive routine. Brush, floss, mouthwash, rinse, whiten, oil pulling, lip exfoliant, lip moisturizer, wrinkle cream.

Drink a cup of green tea every morning.

Only eat when your stomach growls or to avoid suspicion around others.

Your metabolism requires exercise. Strength training 5x a week minimum.

Try to fit in when ordering food around others. Don't make your ED obvious.

Sleep a lot! Go to bed early and take a nap on your lunch break if you feel tired or if you get too hungry.

Wait as long as possible before eating, drink water before you eat, and take a diet pill to fill your stomach up. Eat very slowly! Try to let your food go cold before finishing. It's okay if you have to reheat it.

Eat only low-calorie snacks. 25 cal or less.

Try to move as often as possible. Fidget, stretch, flex often.

Don't binge. Don't let the frenzy take over your mind. Focus on anything else and thoroughly remind yourself how much you hate yourself when you binge.

Use (safe) diet pills or appetite suppressants. Green tea, cinnamon, coffee, apple cider vinegar, mint, lemon/citrus, etc.

✨Motivation✨

Remember that you want to feel hungry, light, and cold. Remember how good you feel when you haven't eaten for 24 hours.

Drink sparkling water to stave off cravings and hydrate!

Remember the hate, anger, and shame you feel when you lay in bed at night covered in your fat.

Goals:

HW: 192 lb LW: 128 lb

CW: MASSIVE lb

GW1: 165 lb - (Dec. 25th 2022) GW2: 150 lb - (Feb. 1st 2023) GW3: 130 lb - (Apr. 15th 2023) GW4: 120 lb - (Jun. 1st 2023) UGW: 107 lb - (Aug. 15th 2023)

[zero666snow]

Hello ED-BLR! Been here since early days just never posted to this account and will probably continue not too but who knows. The only reason I'm posting this is so that when I comment I don't look like a weirdo.

But no tags I don't wanna get banned, and don't feel comfortable spreading the content to anyone who could see it.

If you come across my account feel free to contact I have few friends and would love to make more. 🤍🩶🤍

About me:

Name is Snow she/her and I'm 22 so minors don't talk to me please. And I don't need any help with my disorder so no coaches or creeps, I'm also in a relationship.

Stats:

Height: 5 foot 3 inches

Hw: 213.2 lbs/ 96.706 kg (February 2022)

Sw: 199.8 lbs/ 90.628 kg (August 2023)

Cw/Lw: 107.5lbs/ 48.761 kg (May 11th, 2024)

Gw: 108lbs/ 48.988 kg (May 11th, 2024)

Ugw: 99lbs/ 44.906 kg

I had a Lw in-between my HW and SW and that was 134.1 lbs/ 60.827 kg. I would be at my ultimate Goal and maintaining but I got pregnant and ana went out the window cause i was throwing up for 26 weeks and terrified then managed to get to my high SW.

I have a little stretched skin from being at such a large weight and it's the death of me.

Hobbies if you wanna know a bit more about me, I love all types of music except for slowjazz, but heavy dark music is the favorite, black white and Grey are my favorite colors, ive had different ED'S since I was 14 but have no plans of gaining any of that weight back, and I love video games (xbox/PC) but have almost no motivation to play.

Love y'all and wish yall nothing but the best!

Pro recovery so this is my one and only post no tags. Just not for me 🤍🩶🤍

[morning-jellyfish-in-a-teacup]

Okay so ... might need to give myself more time to reach 115 lbs. Got my period today.

This is really upsetting for a few reasons. The first is I didn't get it at all during Februrary. Normally get it near the end of the mionth and Feb is short so I told myself to try not looking into it until I go without getting it in March. I had thought I finally lost enough weight to no longer get it. Read somewhere that can happen when you lose 10+% of your body weight and I've lost about 14%. It's been over an extended period of time, though, so maybe that's why? But I was really happy about not getting it because I felt like it validated me in some weird way, both in my ed but also in the whole gender of it all. That's something I haven't talked about before mostly because it's something I'm still trying to understand about myself. Tldr is I'm very femme presenting with a very curvy femme body shape, use she/her pronouns ... but idek how to explain it, I don't liket that sometimes. Sometimes it feels more forced on me. So lately I've been wondering if I'm gender fluid and not getting my period ... idk it made me really happy.

But when I woke up this morning, I realized I got it and it's 2 weeks late. Took some pain killers for cramps and went to class and, about halfway through class, I started to lose conciousness at my desk because of how bad the cramps were. Quickly got up and left the classroom and had to immeadietly sit on a bench outside the room because I came damn close to fainting. Cold sweat, ears felt muffled, blurry vision. Sat on the bench with my head between my legs for around 20 minutes, the cramps were so painful.

When I finally stabalized and went back into the room, I was going to just get my bag, tell my prof what happened and leave, but then the fire alarm went off. So everyone gathered their stuff and we all evacuated the building, firefighters came. Turns out everything was fine, one of the painting students didn't cover their gamsol when they left for a while and it caught fire. Quickly got put out by someone else and evacuation/firefighters was just precaution. Our prof decided to end class early because of this so I came back to my apartment, ate lunch, showered, and now I'm lying in bed.

But yeah. Tldr, going to need more time to reach 115lbs because I'm on my period and will be gaining hormonal weight.

[emc2beans]

Hi! I’m Bean and I play ffxiv on the Leviathan server (NA data center). Here is a lineup of my ffxiv WoLs and some related ocs. Goes from left to right.

Gwynedd [Gwyn-ed] Skaenblyss Grufud

-Age: 27   -Pronouns: She/her   -Sexuality: Very Gay 

-Race: Roegadyn -Height: 7ft 3in  -Weight: ~300 lbs 

-Nameday: 28th day of the 3rd Astral Moon (May 28)

-Occupation: Sailor (prev), (the) Warrior of Light, Scion of the Seventh Dawn

-Abilities: Warrior training, The Echo/Light’s Blessing

-Extra: Middle name means “Beautiful Blossom” because she was born in the spring and she hates it.

-Family: Llewellyn Grufud (brother), Rhodri Grufud (father, 46), Angharad Grufud (mother, 45), Assorted adopted younger siblings

Gwynedd is, quite literally, a natural-born sailor. That is to say that she was delivered while her parents were at sea, below deck on The Hullripper, a once-pirate-now-mercantile ship captained by her mother Angharad and her first mate/husband Rhodri. In her mid-20s, Gwynedd developed a desire to see more of the world, which meant leaving her life at sea behind in favor of becoming an adventurer. Seeking fame, fortune, and the company of beautiful women, she would instead find herself fighting for the very existence of the star she called home. 

Llewellyn [Lew-el-in] Guldaren Grufud 

-Age: 17  -Pronouns: He/him   -Sexuality: Gay 

-Race: Roegadyn -Height: 6ft 6in  -Weight: ~210 lbs 

-Nameday: 30th day of the 5th Umbral Moon (Oct. 30)

-Occupation: Sailor, Scion of the Seventh Dawn (unofficial)

-Abilities: Lancer/Dragoon training, oceanic navigation, fishing

-Extra: Middle name means “Gold Harvest” because he was born in the autumn.

-Family: Gwynedd Grufud (sister), Rhodri Grufud (father, 46), Angharad Grufud (mother, 45), Assorted adopted younger siblings

It’s safe to say that Llewellyn’s birth was unexpected. Born slightly early and far smaller than the average Roegadyn infant, the Grufud family was forced to take an extended shore leave in Gridania to ensure ready access to healing. Growing up, Llewellyn was often bullied for his smaller size and sickly nature. Even as he grew into a teenager and his health improved, he continued to be much scrawnier than average for his race, leading to much insecurity on his part. When he hears of his elder sister’s exploits as the vaunted champion of Eorzea, Llewellyn wants nothing more than to join her, but leaving the rest of his family behind is a difficult thing to do.

Syden

16, Viera (rava), He/him, gay

Gunbreaker + Bard

Is the third of five brothers.

Knows which plants will get you high, fuck you up, heal you, or kill you. 

Riveaux

16, Elezen (wildwood), He/him, gay

Machinist + Bard

Lives primarily with his father in Gridania, but spends a few weeks each summer in Ishgard with his mother.

His mother was an Ishgardian noblewoman who ran off to Gridania with a stable boy, whom she married and had a child with. However, she soon discovered that being “poor” (more like lower-middle class) sucked and went back to Ishgard, divorcing Riveaux’s father and leaving a young Riveaux behind. 

Dire 

16, Elezen (duskwight), They/them

Astrologian + Bard

Has two mothers, one duskwight Elezen (biological) and one Garlean. 

Calls their Elezen mother ‘Mum’ and her Garlean mother ‘Mutti’

Her Garlean mom defected while stationed at Baelsar's Wall and met their Elezen mom after running afoul of the Shroud’s wildlife.

A’Mina

16, Miqo’te (seeker), She/her, bisexual but prefers girls

Rogue + Bard

Lives with her single mother, who left their tribe to escape an abusive nuhn.

Gothic lolita enthusiast

Isolde [Ee-solde] Tumult 

- Age: 24-30 (depends on who’s asking)  -Pronouns: She/her 

-Race: Hyur -Sexuality: Bi? Pan? Straight? Yes.  -Height: 5ft 5in 

-Weight: ~180 lbs

-Occupation: Artist, Warrior of Light (reluctantly),‘Free Agent’ (self-proclaimed), Scion of the Seventh Dawn (when it suits her), PR Nightmare

-Abilities: Rogue/Ninja training, The Echo/Light’s Blessing, proficiency with some Allagan technology 

-Extra: Extreme reaction to Echo, activates on contact not proximity, causes intense pain. 

Allag was an empire of incredible technology. From airborne research facilities to teleportation, nothing was beyond the reach of their greatest minds. But, one of these great minds Isolde was not, which made the fact that she was cloned all the more confusing. Worse still was that she’d managed to miss the end of the world, or at least the fall of Allag and everything she’d ever known. Her memories consisted of little more than her name, some vague scenes, and blurry faces. Fortunately, she still knew how to wield a pair of daggers, providing her with a means of defending herself against whatever lurked outside that deactivated cloning facility.