#earlier bc honestly it is insane how bad i am doing on these exams when the multiple choice section is near identical to the practice 😐

[pallases]

fucking HEEELLLL

[secretcessy]

respondinf to ur post that replied to my ask from earlier !!!! HAIAIAI CESSYYY >< i missed u sososo much u don’t even know !!! gosh ilove u sm🤗🤗

anyway i fear ur so real. ive been quickly posting out fics nd drafts so my followers can be fed sumn substantial enough !!! school has me sooooo cramped it’s INSANE 💔💔

atm im trying to apply for part time jobs rn as well as do tutoring for my volunteer hours 🫡🫡hopefully i can balance all that alongside hw and exams !!! who told me to take ap classes mannnn😞im genuinely gonna pull my hair outtttt sos !!! gonna miss sm things once school becomes heavier sighhhh but don't worry im never forgetting u cessy !!! love u so much 🗣️🗣️

u r so right ohmygod. november has js started nd it’s getting a lil chilly !! ion likeee it😭😭 i am SO bad w colder temperatures it’s so insane but at least no more frequent mosquitos !!! those little fat insects bite me sm it’s insane🥹and UGH i love hotpot esp when it’s at home likeee it’s js so comforting nd cozy 🫂🫂

please !!! tell me ab ur dreams bc so far i barelyyy get dreams now 😞 mine used to be sooo insane it was like i was smoking something while asleep 😣😣

ohmygod i totally forgot ab roblox !!! likeee idk, i js barely go on it now, i rmb durinf quarantine id js grind and grind on arsenal and adopt me 🤞🤞it was a def an odd combo but yk i was on that grind i fear nothing would’ve stopped me 💪💪 ill def have to look into froggie pond tycoon when ihave the time to ><

omgg i need to tell u this !! i recently went to queens cs i felt like it nd ive never been to any other borough but my own and manhattan and i got these little phone hippers from this store and they’re SO cute. like they’re called smiski phone hippers nd they’re so adorable💔💔 ugh i love cute little trinkets like the smiskis js look like they have no thoughts in their heads nd honestly that’s SO real !!!!

on a side note, i wanna give u a lil heads up, perchance a katseye sophia fic may be released this week for u !! 🤫🤫 perchance… 🤗🤗🤗

anywayyy i yapped sm ohmygod idk if ts is even gonna be able to send🥹🥹 goodluck reading this and hope u the best cessyyyy !!!!

HAI NING MY BABEH NINGGG iI MISSED MY NING TOO AWWHHIE HI BEBIII <333

I haven't finished binge reading ur fics bae 😭😭 I have sooo much to catch on but lowk can't wait to read them all GGRRAAHH everyone say thank you ninguitar for feeding ur children what a very responsible good parent u are not like me whos been traumatizing my children w hunger lmfao IM SRY KIDS BUT!! don't push urself too much w posting you need lots of rest and you totes deserve it bb 😚💖💖

WE TWINNING bc im also abt to apply for one more job bc I need me some more cash and money I hope I don't get passed out or something yall pray for me my workplace rn be stressing me out sm especially when my boss just changed and a lot of things changed liikkkeee gimme my old boss back ( I liked her very much she was like a 2nd mom to me liikkkeee waaahhhhhh ✋😭😭) I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU NING TRUST love you tew sm to ever forget an iconic sweet soul like you 💋💋💋

no bc literally where'd fall go????? it was HOT a while ago and now it's suddenly cold like where'd my fav season autumn go😭😭😭 girl the mosquitos here are soldiers they be still hanging around when its alr freezing season for them they be built different I fear 😟😟 like tf why you buzzin by my ear LEAVE ME ALONE 💔

im SO gonna tell you abt my weird ass dreams ning like they be diff level weirdness and I cant seem to stop seeing those types of dreams lately I've been waking up w fast pulses its crazy like tell me what I I did to watch those kinds of dreams man 😞😞

im currently locked in w restaurant tycoon again twas a total bitch at first bc yknow how I have to do EVERYTHING and it was a menace but now that I've got my workers I'm free from being a slave to my own restaurant <333 I might or might not be overworking my workers but oh well :P

I USED TO HAVE A SONNY ANGEL PHONE HIPPER jhgfdsasdfghjk like its an animal series and I got the lion one and its so so super duper cute you can see the cute litol wings and cute litol butt from the back and I LOVED it smmmm AND YOU BOUGHT A SMISKI ONE?????? OOOOUUUU I WISH 😭😭 I love love loovvee smiskis too they're so cute they have lots of variety and series to collect and oh god I dunno what I want my hands to get onto like I WANT THEM ALL <33333

IN SOPHIA LAFORTEZA WE TRUST god that womans got me on chokehold cant take my eyes off her when shes on screen like bae what did you do to me 😞💖💖 DONT PUSH URSELF buuuttt I cant wait for your banger fics bebi ur works are what makes this shitty world a better place never forget that ning 😚💗

[sankyeom]

hii belle how have you been? it has been a long time since we talked how have u been tell me everything

my life has been eventfull so life update

1 i broke up w my now ex bf

it was a long time ago tho like 2 months ago?? he liked someone else and we broke up we ended up in good terms im not mad bc its his feelings we dont control that shit yk?? so im not mad im dissapointed he didnt tell me earlier?? bc ik he had feelings for atleast a week saurr yeah

2 mental health

my mental health has been shit i got suspended from school and that really took a toll on it (people pleaser😽😽 and burnt out gifted kid) im on my last 2 weeks of school and im so fucking stressed i have a chemistry exam on wensday that im so lost on i have my astronomy final a week from now i have a project to finish for next week and a paper that is due wensday that i think i lost i cried 4 times today bc of the stressed im just so tired im exausted

3 writing

i have been more consistent w my writing i have 3 series going on rn (one im still writing) but it has been truly an escape for me and im lowkey proud of myself

4 volleyball

im now training in volleyball i have training 3 times a week its very insanely frustrating bc im so bad and it drives me insane

i think that is it?? idk but yeah how have u been pls tell me juseyo

love auri💐

hi auri my dear, it’s so good to hear from you!! 🥰

first of all, i’m so sorry to hear about the circumstances of your break up, that sounds really tough and i feel for you. hopefully, you’re doing well on this matter and realise that you are so special and wonderful. you’re stronger than i am for not being mad, i would definitely be in a different place. 💛

i REALLY get the whole burnt out gifted kid thing, it’s honestly so rough and confusing to be in school in that situation. mental health is such a hard thing especially when there’s a lot of academic pressure on you, and i hope that you will be able to find some time for yourself after your final exams and projects are over. i wish someone had told me that my worth doesn’t come from academic perfection a long time ago, and i hope that you can start to build a healthier relationship with academics in the future. you can do it, i believe in you!! 🥰🥰

remember to take lots of breaks and do something that you love to reward yourself for finishing your exams, even if you aren’t 100% happy with your results. 🦋

i’m so glad that writing has been an escape for you!! i think it’s extremely important to have hobbies and things that you do in your free time that are just for your own enjoyment. hopefully it will help a little with your mental health 🌷

i’ve been alright! my finals week just started and i have a lot on my plate, but once it’s over i’m going to have nearly a month of holidays to decompress and relax a little bit 😊🌸

i have really been lacking in the writing department recently, i’ve just been lacking a lot of inspiration and i haven’t been able to write anything because i’ve been so busy with school, tutoring, my internship, and college transfer applications. hopefully my next quarter will be less busy since i’m only taking three classes, and i think i should have more time to write and update here!

[jeongjaehyuns]

ok since kellie posted her fancam i thought i’d finally stop being lazy and do the same too :’)

i mentioned this a little bit before but earlier this month, i was lucky enough to get tickets to see nct 127 at the apple music event in la and was able to see them perform! this was by far one of the most amazing and intimate experiences i’ve ever been able to be apart of and being able to see nct 127 doing what they do best together is something i’m going to cherish in my heart for a very long time! here is the link to the full playlist of all their performances!! 

underneath the cut will be a much more detailed and in depth account of everything that happened at the event if anyone is interested in reading more about it! ♡

ok hello if there are people who actually decided to keep reading thank u so much and buckle up bc u are in for a riiiiiiiiiide (ridin on that VAAaaaaAAAAan, KEEP dRIVINGGGggGGG) ok anyways! HERE WE GO!

[ ! ] btw the first part is just me talking about everything that happened before the concert so pls feel free to just skip to the last paragraph instead LOL

so when news came out that nct 127 was going to be coming back to the u.s. and perform on jimmy kimmel and that tickets were FREE, my friends and i hi kellie, hi tracey all tried to get some tickets for both the taping and the concert and was able to make it on the waitlist! i don’t live in california but both of my friends do so i told them that if any of us got confirmed tickets, i’d be flying over there for the weekend to attend the show! it’s kind of all a blur now bc the only thing i can remember within that week was stressing out so hard over tickets because the way the whole thing was set up was just SO STRESSFUL because despite being on the waitlist, there is no 100% guarantee that you’d get tickets and they start giving out tickets to people from within a week before the taping to the day of the actual event so really, it was just one massive waiting game. but a week went by and none of us saw any signs of getting tickets and flight ticket prices kept fluctuating for me so i just went ahead and booked my flight anyways without a confirmed ticket pls don’t ever do this omfg please please PLEASE don’t ever do this!!! and PRAYED that one of us would be able to get tickets ;; a few days went by and then nct kept releasing more news and how they’d be performing at mickey mouse’s 90th birthday celebration so tickets for that were also available too and once again, we made it on the waitlist!!! and played not one but now two (2) waiting games!!!! :-)))

honestly i rly don’t remember much that happened during this small time frame bc i was so stressed and anxious over these tickets that it rly took a toll on me physically and mentally LOL but yeah so on wednesday the 3rd, nct 127 posted on their instagram about how they’d be having a special performance partnered with apple music and i was about to start my math exam but the moment i read their post, i ran to the bathroom faster than i’ve ever ran before and of course, i requested tickets and made it on the waitlist again!!!! SO NOW IN TOTAL, IT WAS NOT ONE, BUT THREE (3) WAITING GAMES!!! GAMES THAT I WAS STARTING TO GET SICK OF PLAYING!!! anyways yeah so basically my friends and i made it onto all 3 waiting lists and at this point we really just wanted to be able to make it to at least one event ;;;

fast forward to friday, aka 1 day before mickey mouse and 3 days before kimmel and apple music and also the day my flight leaves for la!!! my friends and i all got a big fat no from mickey mouse saying they wouldn’t be able to accommodate our ticket requests bc they were full so we we re like ok!!! whatevs!!! we still have kimmel and apple to try for!!! so here i am… at the airport… getting ready to leave with no!!! confirmed!!! ticket!!! my flight was quite early in the morning so i was at the airport overnight and it was like around 11:30pm when i was doing homework and i got a notification on my phone… thinking it was just some random notification when in reality, I GOT MY CONFIRMED TICKET FOR THE APPLE MUSIC EVENT :’) it’s a blur to me bc it happened so fast and so suddenly but all i remember was that my jaw literally dropped for the longest time and my hands were shaking so badly bc i cOULDN’T BELIEVE IT??? i wasn’t able to sleep that entire night nor was i able to sleep on the plane from all the adrenaline so that saturday really was an interesting day for me LOL anywho i made it to la safe and sound and spent saturday and sunday hanging out with my friends while we prepared for monday :’)

ok so then despite getting tickets, we had no idea where the location of this event was going to be bc 1iota (the event organizer) wasn’t going to release the information until 10am monday morning and we were planning on waiting in line like early early to get a good spot so we had to be ready and out of the house by 9am!!! bUT WAIT!!! 9am was also when the english version of the mv was going to be released so me and kellie were both !!! bc we wanted to gif the mv so bad!!! so now at this point it’s like 7am and we’re all like half awake trying frantically to get ready and i’m over here trying to stream nct on the radio and listen to the world release of regular eng ver and then somewhere in between all of this, both kellie and tracey ended up getting their emails for confirmed tickets too??? so yeah at this point all three of us are running around like crazy ppl bc we weren’t expecting all of us to go but now all 3 of us get to go!!! so yeah i brought my laptop with me and tried to gif in the car but the connection from my hotspot was so slow so i just sat and cried instead :-) ALSO!!! remember how information about the location was supposed to be released at 10am? yeah well they changed it on us again!!! they delayed it to 2pm so at this point me and kellie rly wanted to d*e bc we did all of that rushing for nothing omfg but fast forward to 2pm, they released the information for the location and since we were already in the hollywood area we went there right away so when we lined up, we were like number 10 in line!!! :D

i wasn’t able to eat at all that entire day just bc i was so stressed and so nervous from everything that the hunger didn’t hit me til like 20 mins before the actual event omg ;;;; i remember saying “omg i’m so hungry” and the girl beside me was like “well sweetie, you’re about to be fed real good rn” and i just died laughing oh my god but yeah i had a priority ticket so i was let in around 7:30pm-ish and the event started at 8! i got barricade again just like last time at kcon ny, my view was reeeeeeally good!! ! i would say even better than kcon’s even tho i was front and center for kcon ;;; back when we were in line, the event organizers kept asking us how we were doing and each time i would tell them that i was super nervous and they’d ask why and i would explain that i just get super nervous before seeing nct omg it’s really true tho idk what it is but i just feel so QUEASY before seeing them… like the fact that you go from seeing them from your screen to seeing them in front of you is just a very STRANGE FEELING FOR ME OK but they kept repeating how we were all going to have a good time and that the space inside was super small so it’s going to be nice and intimate with them and they said how no matter what spot you get, you’re still going to be super close to them… one of the staff members was like “you’re going to be so close to them they’re going to sweat on you” AND GOD THIS JUST MADE ME EVEN MORE NERVOUS KASDJKSAJDKAJDKA

OK ANYWAYS ENOUGH OF THAT, ONTO THE ACTUAL CONCERT! when we got in, the event was actually on a rooftop and so the scenery behind the stage was just soooooo pretty and then they had a playlist of their songs playing in the bg and it was just really nice to listen and enjoy while we waited for them to come out :’) the members kept hiding behind this door and some of them started waving and they were all teasing us so hard bc the moment we saw someone there, we would all start screaming and they just wouldn’t stop :’) then they finally played the apple music documentary video for us and i just remember all of us screaming a lot LOL but then the lights went off again and then we all watched them walk onto the stage one by one and oh my GOD the wait for them to finally start just felt like forever and then next thing i know, the sirens went off and all i hear is “GET IT LIFTED” and then firetruck started omg i was trying to get jaehyun’s attention but then mr. nakamoto yuta… YUTA… looked over on our side and me and him made eye contact for a good solid 3 seconds and i just about lost my shit omg… HE IS SO INSANELY GORGEOUS IN REAL LIFE I WAS RLY GOIN THRU IT… JAEHYUN WHO??? AND THEN HAECHAN OMG… haechan came over to our side like 75% of the time and he is the cutest, most adorable person on this planet!!! he was always smiling and waving and i really can’t think of anything else to describe him other than the sun bc he quite literally was shining that night!!! i think it was halfway through firetruck that we started to realize that the stage was like… a little slippery??? but it wasn’t until limitless started where we really noticed the members starting to slip and stumble here and there ;; also there’s this one part where jaehyun went up super close to me during limitless and i about died… i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again but even after seeing him irl, HE IS SO HANDSOME IT’S UNREAL… HIS VISUALS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD I CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD but yeah the staff members would go on stage after each song to try their best to dry the stage but for some reason that wasn’t enough ;; i have no idea why the stage was so slippery but my guess was that it was pretty cool up on the rooftop and with the amount of people there, there was so much body heat in the air and then that mixed with the cool air = condensation??? i also think the shoes the members were wearing had like absolutely no friction at the bottom so it made them slip even more ;; they were also using a fog machine too but idk if that was actually the reason why the stage was so slipper omg but yeah after firetruck, they performed limitless and then they had a small ment here and mark talked about how it was a very special day for them (bc they just came straight from performing at jimmy kimmel too) and then johnny screamed something along the words of being apple music’s next up next artist and he was just so happy!!!! and then mark said that they’ve got october all to themselves and they were so happy to be able to be here with all of the fans! jaehyun also said that the place was so wonderful and said all the fans there were so wonderful and johnny came in to say that they had rehearsals the night before but being there with all the fans, it was a totally different feeling ;~; after that they performed touch and then when it came to cherry bomb (OT10 VER WITH JUNGWOO BTW), this was when things started to look a little :/// bc taeyong had already fell back during touch and at this point i was already beyond worried bc i would rather have them stop the whole thing all together rather than have them risk getting injured just to perform for us??? i shouted so many times to “be careful” in both korean and english T________T IT WAS LIKE THE DREAM CONCERT ALL OVER AGAIN WHEN THEY PERFORMED IN THE RAIN not to mention they had comeback promotions to do once they back to korea too so i rly just wanted them to stop ;;; i also think the members were all starting to get a little discouraged from all the slipping and stumbling during each performance and it kinda just looked like they were all really sad that they couldn’t put on a perfect performance ;; at this point the stage was soooooo slippery and i think they were more focused on not falling rather than performing and my heart rly just was in pieces ;;; taeyong fell again in cherry bomb during the leg split dance and it looked so painful oh my god i was just so WORRIED and i wanted it all to stop so bad ;~; but after cherry bomb ended, i think the members went back down to talk to the staff and then they came back up with different shoes! but finally!!! alas, they performed regular!!! since they switched shoes, the performance went pretty smoothly so i felt a little at ease! taeil, doyoung and mark were still wearing their original shoes so there were a few times when they slipped a little but thank god none of them actually fell ;; despite the song being a released earlier that morning, a lot of the fans did really well in learning the fanchants and singing along with the boys so i think it really helped in boosting the members’ confidence after the prior performances ;; there was a small ment here and doyoung talked and johnny translated it saying how basically the members felt really apologetic that they couldn’t put on good performances bc of the slippery stage and i was yelling with all the energy i had left in my that it was ok!!! that they were doing amazing and that they shouldn’t feel sorry!!! IT WAS KILLING ME INSIDE THAT THEY FELT THIS ASKDJKASDJAKJSDKD I WANTED TO ACTUALLY D*E but then they promised they’d come back to show an even better performance and doyoung held up his lil pinky!!! and then johnny asked how taeyong was doing and he answered back “i’m okay!!!” IN THE CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE… I JUST WANTED TO GIVE HIM ONE BIG FAT HUG T________________T and then taeyong said the last mission they had left was to take a picture with the fans and took out the selfie stick to take a picture with everyone! it was so cute TwT 

but yeah, overall the whole experience was really really amazing minus the slippery stage and for the most part, i was really impressed with how organized 1iota was! i’m really grateful i got to be apart of it and it still feels like a dream that i got to attend the event and see them perform and promote their new album here in america!!! they were amazing performers and did so well despite everything! i was really really proud of them ;; anyways, thank you to everyone that made it this far!!! i hope you enjoyed this fan account! i know it’s a super long post but if i don’t write it all out now while it’s still somewhat fresh in my mind, i’m going to forget it by the end of the month so i hope you all understand! thank you so much! ♡