#dyn ; near or far i am always yours (finley stevens / huntedvideo).

[spiritdreamt]

'you could come with me, y'know. if you wanted,' a dangerous ask, and finley should know better. but was he not still young and, now, in love? people make stupid decisions when they're in love ( and also young ). there's a hopeful grin that touches his lips, hands reaching forward to take percy's own, giving them a squeeze. 'it's basically like a, uh... a road trip. and i can always bring you back, if you get tired've me,' eyes search her features, the boy a bit nervous, though he would take rejection with grace, and cover it with humor. 'think it'd be fun?' @huntedvideo

percy will never get tired of him. finley getting tired of her is a different matter altogether, a possibility that haunts her—but here he is, asking her to follow him. to take his hand and go. he's offering her everything she's ever wanted; how can she turn him down? "are you sure you want me to?" she asks. it's a silly question, she knows, but it slips out before she can stop it. she's finished with school, and her entire life yawns before her, wild with possibilities. maybe percy should know better, too. she should get a job to cover her loan payments, not go gallivanting off across the country. her parents would say she's being stupid.

her parents don't know anything about her.

"i do want to," she says. her throat feels suddenly tight, her voice thick with emotion. "it's all i want. you're all i want." is she being impulsive? maybe. but the thought of being left behind, of being left alone, is intolerable. "i'll come with you. for as long as you want me."

[spiritdreamt]

percy takes a swig of the offered whiskey, wrinkling her nose at the burn. could be worse, she figures. could be fireball. "look at it this way," she says, "you also missed out on student loans, so... yay for no crushing debt!" she has to joke about it, or else she’ll panic about it.

she takes another swallow to chase off the ghost of student debt, then passes the bottle back. “and if you listen to my parents,” she adds, “my degree is pretty useless, too. underwater basket weaving, basically, or something.” they think she’s going to end up destitute, a starving artist. sometimes, in her darkest hours, she believes them—but she knows fin believes she’ll make something of herself, and that’s enough for her.

she tucks her hair behind her ear, chews at the inside of her cheek. she wants to comfort him, but every attempt she makes feels inadequate. finally, she asks: "like what? maybe the things you missed out on, we could... do together?"

'i went to college for, like - a year. y'know that? i dunno if i ever told you that,' finley has told percy a great many things about himself, but there always seemed to be more. and though he hasn't been completely honest about why he had started, and continued, to travel around on his own, percy knew more about him than anyone else in the world.

fin takes a drink from the bottle of bottom shelf whiskey he had purchased and then offers it to percy. he seems lost in his thoughts, for a moment, remembering the boy he once was ; realizing how much he's changed, even in the last year, let alone since his father's disappearance.

'it was cool and all, but y'know - i had t'leave, so i dropped out. i did get a couple extracurricular credits in a cryptozoogoloy class, though - which is not useful for literally anything, but still pretty sick,' when fin finally looks at persephone, he's smiling, but it's a wistful thing. 'with moving around all th'time... sometimes, i just feel like i missed out on a lot've shit,' @spiritdreamt.

[spiritdreamt]

“I’ve got you” @huntedvideo

percy doesn't suffer from nightmares often, even less so now that she's traveling with fin. from time to time, though, she mumbles worriedly in her sleep or wakes with a start in their shared hotel bed. tonight's the latter, after a dream of a screaming match with janice. her nerves are as raw as if she'd actually confronted her stepmother, and she tries to breathe quietly as she waits for her heart to slow. she doesn't want to wake finley—he needs rest.

what he doesn't need, she tells herself, is to spend his night trying to fix someone that's beyond repair.

she doesn't know where the thought comes from, but it stings like a slap to the face. the dam breaks; she's crying before she can even hope to stop the tears. an awful, nearly inhuman sob rips out of her, and she presses her hand over her mouth but it's too late. fin stirs, and before she can tell him she's fine he wraps her in his arms, says i've got you. his care only worsens the deluge.

you don't deserve him, percy thinks. you're just dragging him down. he's got his own problems.

"sorry," she gasps between sobs. even though her stomach churns and her face burns and her mind screams cruel, cruel things at her, she can't force herself to stop clinging to him. "i didn't mean to—to wake you up. sorry."

[spiritdreamt]

she's just gotten done with putting groceries away when she hears the sound of something shattering & his scream. terror grips as old instincts kick in, freezing her in place for a moment until her rationality returns. loosing her death grip on the edge of the counter, she rushes towards the source of the sound, unsure of what she'll find. clearly, it was fin—but is somebody or something hurting him? she's unarmed, useless in a fight, but maybe she can draw them away, distract them, maybe—

percy holds onto the doorframe for leverage as she swings around the corner, only to find finley standing alone, albeit bloodied and surrounded by broken glass. her breath leaves her in her relief, even as her worry crystalizes. what happened? her hands tremble as she stands in the doorway, swaying uncertainly on her feet. half of her wants to comfort him, and half is convinced her company is the last thing he wants right now, so instead she lingers on the threshold. "it's okay." her heart is still racing, but he hadn't meant to frighten her. it's fin. it's just fin. and really, it's not him she's scared of—the very thought is laughable, he'd die before he hurt her. all the same, she can't seem to look him in the eye, her gaze drifting between his bleeding knuckles and some indistinct point on the baseboard behind him.

"y-you're hurt," she says after a long moment, forcing the words out past the mental block she hasn't experienced in a long time. breathe, percy, she tells herself, tightening her grip on the wooden frame until she can finally manage to raise her gaze to his face. it's only then that she notices his tears, and her heart breaks. her own eyes burn, even as old habits prompt her to swallow against the lump in her throat. don't cry. "we should... clean your hand before anything else, probably." each word is still a monumental effort, but she holds her hand out to him. "it's—it's okay," she repeats, somehow even less firm than before. "you don't have to tell me what happened. just let me help, please?"

it’s built up. it’s boiling. it festers like an open wound, it burns his chest. finley — the funny man, the one who laughs and smiles and pretends that everything’s alright — finds himself shaking. tremors run through his hands, his fingers. desperately he tries to hold it in. the anger. the guilt. every day he pushes down those feelings. he had a job to do ; he didn’t have time to process the emotions that only seemed to get in his way, to slow him down. it’s the loss of his mother, the disappearance of his father, every single person he cared about losing their lives or their morality simply because he got too close to them. he tries and fails, over and over, and he is tired. exhausted, down to aging bones. and he can’t take it, anymore.

he starts to pace. back and forth, his fists now clenched at his side to keep them steady. it doesn’t work. face scrunches slightly, nose pinching, brows furrowing. his jaw begins to ache as it clenches, his steps gaining speed. why him? what has he done to deserve it? any of it? never has finley been one for self pity, but that is simply something he couldn’t understand, even now. thoughts seem to leave him entirely then, time slowing as he spins around. one fist flies into the mirror on the wall behind him, the man screaming, letting loose everything he’s held in for so long. he only feels the now bleeding slices across his knuckles as a dull sensation, occupied with tears that well and spill down his cheeks. shuttering breath is taken as he turns, and only then does he notice the other standing in his bedroom’s doorway.

where normally finley wouldn’t be able to shut up, now no words find him. instead, a sob wrenches through his body, the man desperately trying to hold himself together, and failing. you weren’t supposed to see that, he wanted to say. no one was supposed to see that. instead, watery eyes avoid the others as he finds two ashamed words to murmur into the space between them,  ‘ i’m sorry, ’     open.

[spiritdreamt]

updated dynamics tag dump bc i am. never satisfied sdhfgkjhdf

[spiritdreamt]

@huntedvideo said:  “  i know it’s not fair to say this,  but i don’t have anything without you.  if i don’t have you i have nothing.  ”

        IT PROBABLY ISN’T FAIR, but percy doesn’t care.  all her life, she’s been second-choice at best and unwanted at worst by the people she craved love from the most ;  everyone except him.   sure, she has other acquaintances—other friends, even—but it isn’t the same. it’s never been the same. he’s the only person she’s ever known who’s picked up the broken pieces of her with care and without growing tired or frustrated when her forward progress inevitably faltered. he’s the only person who has loved her the way she’s loved others: unconditionally, gently, deeply. he’s the only person who’s believed in her haunts, her instincts, without ever doubting her for an instant.

          ' you have me , ’   percy says, closing the distance between them. pale arms wrap around his neck, tugging him down to properly embrace him as tight as she can.  ‘ you’ll always have me, mulder. you think i’m going anywhere ?  after all these years ? ’    she releases her grip, but only so she can look him in the eye :   ‘  you’re the love of my life. i need you just as much as you need me. ’

[spiritdreamt]

percy has to swallow a sudden rush of tears as fin's words pierce her heart. she thinks she should reassure him, but how can she when she feels the same? " yeah. " she reaches for his hand, brushes her fingertips hesitantly over his knuckles. " i feel like... like who i was supposed to be got lost, somewhere. and i'm just some dead, decaying thing that took her place. "

             ‘ i want to be myself, again. i want to be six. i want to stop knowing everything i know, ’     @spiritdreamt.

[spiritdreamt]

even though she asked for his opinion, her cheeks flare hot and she ducks her head with a giggle at his smirk. she only raises her gaze when he brings up the jeans, arching her eyebrows and asking: "oh, you mean when you destroyed me at pool?" if it were anybody but him, she might be sore at the loss—but she finds it nigh-impossible to be angry with him. and... she's just bad at pool. she pulls the pants in question from her dresser, holding them up for him to see as a wry smile creeps onto her face. "you know? i think you just like these because i was bent over so much while i wore them." she shakes them for emphasis, then folds them and packs them away. she fits in a few more items—a small jewelry box of necklaces and earrings from her mother, a pair of heels, and her combat boots (she'll wear her sneakers most times, she figures). "okay, clothes are done." her stomach turns suddenly and she looks back to him, green eyes wide. "the suitcase isn't too big, is it?" she doesn't want to take up too much room; she doesn't want to be a burden. fin would never tell her if she was, either, which only heightens her nerves. "i can, um—" she doesn't know what she could do. a smaller bag wouldn't fit everything. maybe she's being too high maintenance, bringing so many clothes? she thinks she only packed what she needs, but now doubt runs thick through her veins. "i don't know. i'm being silly, aren't i?"

there's no shame in the way finley gazes at persephone. besides being the prettiest girl he's ever seen, he just liked watching her mannerisms, the way she thought about what to wear and bring. his grin grew a little bit every time she glanced back at him, the two clearly distracted by each other. to be fair, fin had never been in love, before. he moved around too much, even before his father's disappearance, and hadn't had a chance to make many connections in his life. percy felt like the first person who had enough time to get to know him, to see what was beneath the goofy and masked exterior. he got very attached, after that. 'week and a half's enough, i think. and we can always get you new clothes along th'way,' eyes follow as she puts that dress into the suitcase. he remembers every time she's worn it ( and every time he's taken it off of her ). 'well, you already put my favorite thing in there,' knowing smirk ensues. 'i think you look good in everything, but uh... bring those one pair of jeans. y'know... with the sparkly stuff on the pockets,' fin remembers the pants fondly, for a moment. 'you wore them that one time we snuck into that shitty dive bar to play pool. i like those a lot,'

[spiritdreamt]

"yeah, i can think of a few things—" a handful of books, maybe; some art supplies; her writing notebook "—but they should all fit in a backpack." her clothes, on the other hand, will have to go into her suitcase. she flashes another smile at fin, her heart still racing at the sudden change of plans, and tugs her suitcase out of her closet. in goes a set of pajamas, a pair of jeans and a pair of shorts, a few shirts... after a moment's consideration, she throws her favorite dress in, too. not the most practical of clothes, but she thinks it flatters her—which, of course, means she wants to wear it for him. a sweater and a sweatshirt are next, her bras, some underwear and socks. all the while, she finds herself stealing glances at him, because what she hadn't considered when asking for his help is that he's deeply distracting. maybe it's just because she loves him, but he's handsome in a way that makes her chest ache. "um," she begins again, "i don't know—one week's worth of clothes? a week and a half?" she looks at her closet and then back at him, cheeks burning as she asks: "are there any... outfits, or shirts, or anything that you, uh, want me to bring? that you like when i wear. i mean."

'good news - i'm great a decision making, so - paralysis be gone!' they complimented each other in so many ways, and finley continued to find reasons why they worked so well together. when she pulls away, the boy is quick to take her hand, leading them to the bedroom they had been sharing. fin had already packed up his things, ready to say goodbye to precy ( or, as ready as he could bring himself to be ), but now he focused on percy, sitting on the bed with his hands propping him up, debating what would be useful for her to bring. 'basically, you just need th'essentials - clothes, toothbrush, that kind've stuff,' they'd buy food along the way, stay in motels that fin could afford with the odd jobs he took while he was on the road. hazel eyes glance over the girl, admiring her, for a moment, before he spoke again, softer still. 'if there's anything special you wanna bring, we'll make room. sound good?'

[spiritdreamt]

she wants to ask what he did expect, but decides that it can wait. they have all the time they could ask for, now; for the moment, she just wants to focus on happier things, not their respective insecurities and worries. tears prick at her eyes at the brush of his lips, at his heart-stopping smile. "i like when you're cheesy," she says wetly. she's smiling, reluctantly tugging her hand free to swipe at her eyes. they're being massively impulsive—yet she's never been more certain of a decision. how many nights in high school did she spend wanting to run away, stuck in place because she was too scared to go alone? this is her chance at happiness. at freedom. percy sniffles, then pulls him into a hug. face buried into his neck, she says: "you wanna help me? you know how much space there is, and i always over-pack."

he anticipates rejection. knows exactly what he'll say when percy decides that he isn't worth it, that spending so much time with him would be a waste. fin would pretend to brush it off, and only later would he spiral into self hatred and loneliness. he's prepared. which is why the boy is so caught off guard when persephone instead accepts his offer to go galivanting across the country. 'not what i expected, but i'm gonna take it,' fin kisses her knuckles, lingering a moment before glancing back up to her with bright eyes. whether it's a good idea or bad idea, in this moment, finley didn't care. all he wanted was for percy to be by his side, and as long as that's what she wanted, too, nothing else really mattered. 'you can pack up some stuff and we'll load it into th'mustang,' he pauses, smiling. 'i can't wait to see th'world with you. is that too cheesy t'say?'