#huntedvideo 004.

[wiseagent]

finley couldn't deny how much he cared about loid, but he also couldn't deny how much of a pain in the ass he was. he's well aware that the other man is a psychiatrist, that he understands the human brain, the trauma that their species can go through - which made it very hard for fin to be his usual, self hating / self destruction self. maybe he's frustrated that loid was trying so hard. after all, fin wasn't worth loid being so stressed over. he huffs. 'can you just - stop? please?' finley tries to breathe, shoves down the anger he feels, fists flexing, tight then loose. 'i only have one more day here, can't we just - have a good night? instead of wasting time arguing about why i shouldn't go?'

WHEN   FINLEY   SNAPS   AT   HIM   ,   loid   is   silent   for   a   moment   ,   but   he   isn't   afraid   to   let   his   own   anger   &   frustration   show.   he's   only   trying   to   help   him   &   make   sense   of   his   need   to   leave   &   hunt   for   monsters   all   over   the   country   ,   well   aware   of   his   issues   &   that   there   is   more   to   it   than   just   the   simple   excuses   he   tries   to   use   to   bypass   him.   loid   cares   for   his   mental   health   &   his   well   being   ,   but   when   finley   closes   off   on   him   like   this   ,   it   puts   a   toll   on   his   already   heavy   heart.   he   realizes   he   did   the   same   things   finley   did   when   he   was   a   spy   years   ago   ,   but   he's   learned   his   lesson   &   is   trying   to   do   better   by   being   more   open   with   those   he   loves   &   trusts.   he   doesn't   want   finley   to   continue   on   this   road   ,   but   clearly   he'd   rather   cling   to   bad   habits   rather   than   see   reason.

❝   you   know   ,   we   could   have   more   than   just   one   good   night.   ❞   loid   says   flatly   ,   placing   his   tea   cup   down   onto   the   coffee   table   &   then   crossing   his   arms   over   his   chest.   anya   is   already   in   bed   sleeping   &   thank   god   she   is.   there   is   no   reason   for   her   to   see   them   arguing   ,   &   it'll   be   less   painful   for   her   &   for   finley   if   they   don't   say   goodbye   to   one   another.   it   was   hard   the   last   time   &   neither   of   them   deserve   that   pain.   ❝   we   could   have   multiple   wonderful   evenings   if   you   didn't   run   away   all   the   time.   ❞   because   that's   what   it   was.   he   isn't   just   going   to   work   ,   he's   running   away.   anytime   they   have   arguments   or   something   becomes   too   real   ,   finley   leaves.   loid   isn't   an   idiot   ━━   he   can   clearly   see   the   signs.   ❝   i'm   only   looking   out   for   you.   i   want   you   to   be   happy   &   healthy.   i'm   allowed   to   care   for   you   &   i'm   allowed   to   want   you   to   take   better   care   of   yourself.   that   isn't   something   you   get   to   control.   ❞   a   heavy   sigh   follows   ,   loid   unwilling   to   let   finley   see   the   pain   that   hangs   over   his   head.   ❝   you   can   still   do   your   job   without   leaving   for   months   on   end.   you   could   work   on   yourself   &   still   produce   your   videos   &   cases.   ❞   another   sigh   ,   this   one   much   more   dejected.   ❝   why   .   .   .   are   you   like   this   ?   ❞   POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK   ,   he   thinks   ,   but   he   won't   let   the   thought   linger.   ❝   why   come   here   if   you   don't   want   me   to   care   ?   i   won't   be   the   one   to   hang   around   &   wait   for   you   each   time   ,   finley.   especially   if   you   continue   to   destroy   yourself   in   the   process.   ❞

[spiritdreamt]

percy has to swallow a sudden rush of tears as fin's words pierce her heart. she thinks she should reassure him, but how can she when she feels the same? " yeah. " she reaches for his hand, brushes her fingertips hesitantly over his knuckles. " i feel like... like who i was supposed to be got lost, somewhere. and i'm just some dead, decaying thing that took her place. "

             ‘ i want to be myself, again. i want to be six. i want to stop knowing everything i know, ’     @spiritdreamt.