#dylexia is a bitch

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Im pretty sure Alastar's soul is owned by Lilith or Eve.

Cause if Adam is in heaven and just having sex with whoever, I really think Eve isn't in the picture.

We would have seen her with him.

I do think he cast all blame of the original sin on her and she's in Hell.

Adam clearly lied or cheated his way to heaven. As in, no one seriously seems to know why he's here. Especially not Sera. Maybe not even Adam, but it's likely he knows and is hiding it.

So she could be using Alastar to fund this hotel to stick it to Adam to get him down here and torture her.

Or, the far more compelling angle I think they're going for....

I think it's Lilith.

I also think Lilith made Charlie keep her distance from her father because she blames him entirely for the fall of man.

Given what we know about the "story of hell" as it is provided to us in episode one.

Not to mention, a certain famous singer in Hell also went missing for seven years.

Alastar has also went missing for seven years.

I do think perhaps Alastar bit off more than he could chew and tried to take Lillith's soul. She is said to have a beautiful voice, and he's in the business of collecting voices. (Makes me wonder why he kept Husk Alive. Husk must of either really begged or he likes cats.)

But she was too strong for him and wrapped the chain around his neck.

The reason I'm inclined to believe Lilith owns Alastar over Eve,

Is like, Alastar HATED Lucifer on sight. Shakes the man's cane, discreetly wipes it on his jacket like it was dirty, and called him short to his face. This was even before Lucifer even got a word in about insulting the hotel.

It could be that he's Charlie's Dad, but if you remember the first episode, Alastar is the first one to mention Charlie's "Daddy issues" and broadcasted it on their first commerical.

Maybe he heard this from Charlie...but going after Luci's pride specifically (as he is the sin of pride) as her father, and constantly jabbing him with things to get under his skin.

Like Alastar knows he wouldn't win the fight for Charlie's affection. Like that is her biological dad and if they make up that's not much he can do on that.

His goal was clearly to annoy him.

So I think Lilith sent Alastar to the Hotel to protect and help Charlie.

And does that mean getting super protective and defensive toward a guy you've only heard negative things about from his ex-wife?

Also yes.

Like we all originally thought Alastar funded this Hotel as a pet project because he wanted to cozy to Lucifer's daughter and gain power by being a social climber.

THAT IS CLEARLY not the case anymore.

[redak-ted]

the lighter and dynamite was ciggarate(???? dylexia is a bitch) and beer but yk- YOU CANT DRINK TILL UR MY AGE :)

inncorrect quotes but its just me and chair.

Milo, pointing a camera at Chair: There they are, our sweet baby. Chair, holding a a lighter and a dynamite: What-?

Milo: So what's for dinner? Chair, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

Milo: Would you like something to drink? They open the fridge We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper- Chair: Spiders? Milo: Spiders it is then. Chair: No, that wasn't-

*But they were already pouring them a brimming glass of spiders.....*

Milo: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Chair: Oh, I'm always running Chair: The question is from what.

Chair: Hey Milo, have you seen the photographer? Milo: Nope.Have you seen the meat tenderizer? Chair, confused: What? Milo, grabbing the meat tenderizer out of the drawer: No reason, cute girl things! <3

Chair: So what do you do? Milo: I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all Cancers. Chair: Wow, impressive. Milo: Then I'll move on to Pieces.

Chair: Walking in to a room Sorry I'm late… I was… doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Milo: * Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN' STAIRS.

Chair: Okay, truth or dare? Milo: Truth Chair: How many hours have you slept this week? Milo: Milo: …Dare Chair: Go to bed. Milo: I don't like this game...

Chair: I am an expert at identifying birds. Milo: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Chair: Yeah, they're all birds.

Chair: Can I bother you for a second? Milo: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

Milo: They don't make them like me no more. I'm the last of my kind. Chair: Thank god.

Milo: You're giving me a sticker? Chair: Not just a sticker.That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me- wow!” Milo: I'm not a preschooler. Chair: Fine, I'll take it back Milo: I earned this, back off!

@yourleastfavoriteguyinthechair

[lumienshitposting]

Do I care that I write a lot wrong? will I correct my writing?

No <3

[missfinefeather]

If anyone wants to let me know what happens in this story, go ahead!

For now, dylexia is a bitch!