#dyke auntie

[gayass-ex-machina]

Another day in the Hudson Valley 🍂 🍻

@drcatmom @shelloebejelloe

[whyalesbianstakingtestosterone]

No rizz, just yapping, big grey eyes and whimsical, off putting vibes

[ennabear]

does anyone know how to get your extended family to stop sending you bible verses or do i just have to ignore it

[lacefuneral]

[old man yelling at cloud voice] i fucking hate "fruity" i hate "neurospicy" i hate tiktokisms why is everyone so scared to say Faggot and Autistic

[canisbrutus]

chugs a pint of beer and slings the can against his forehead (tonk)

Constantinos Brakus HCs 🐂

The Basics:

obviously his mental health is in the gutter.

on his own he's just sort of a nuisance, spitting venom and trying to keep to himself. save for the times he decides to swipe something from somebody.

nothing special in the eyes of anyone. just plain dog food.

his priorities are arguably much simpler than most of the warring students' at bullworth. the main one being Food and the other just being going thru the motions of the day.

but aint nobody at that School normal, even if they aint in any of the cliques acting out gang wars.

Expanded Lores:

he thinks nobody really has his back. and for the most part, he's right. but there is one exception to this.

that being his Auntie: the nasty piece of work known as Edna.

having an iron stomach, he's probably the only kid that doesnt get sick off her cooking, after all he was subjected to it all his life.

it still doesnt taste great even if he does help himself to seconds.

but she doesnt mind lending a waxy ear to his plights. at all.

oftentimes he's asked her to feed some of his bullies especially foul things. homemade cottage cheese and the like.

anyway aside from her slop his diet consists mostly of red bull (hah), corn chips, and that canned spray cheese.

he can and will pound 3 energy drinks back to back to get through the day. or night. or whatever he wants to zone out of.

his sleep schedule is absolutely fucked up.

for one he has like 3 different bullies' homework to do so he doesnt get his teeth kicked in. for another the quiet of the night is far less grating on the mind than the daily struggle.

but when you're up late the days tend to blur together. he is horribly timeblind. never knows what day it is.

due dates breeze by him. as such he doesnt always get people's work done on time. the cycle of abuse continues.

he also loses track of other things. such as his own hygiene. tragically. but he makes an effort nonetheless.

genetics have blessed him with both Coarse body hair and semi Potent body odor. but he still tries to keep it under wraps.

he really doesnt need anyone calling him a monkey on top of everything else.

bullworth as a province doesnt care about the mentally fucked.

he can arguably be Many things, the most obvious being depressed, but the one thing he is for sure is Undiagnosed.

its not that his parents dont care about him. he's very well loved at home.

but his father is part of the coast guard and typically not around, while his mother has a rather unhealthy attachment to wine. so they dont give him as much attention as he may need.

speaking of his mother. oh boy.

you know what they say about military wives. they get lonely.

she's been having an affair with none other than ms peters, the music teacher, since constantinos was around 10 years old.

they had met at a flea market; his mom likes to make trash collage art from seashells and corks and whatnot, and ms peters likes to support local artists.

damn hippies am i right?

he's less ashamed of them being dykes and more put off by his mom just being a cheat.

music class has especially gotten uncomfortable for him.

speaking of, he primarily plays the clarinet, but he was also slotted to be the poor sod playing for the school's nutcracker showing.

which as we know jimmy had to fill in for, on account of him either sleeping through it or outright deciding not to humiliate himself further onstage.

moving on this boy absolutely hates everyone. himself included.

being in the mascot though? its great. because hes Not himself.

he'd be happier if he got his own fursuit. but he was banned from the local convention center on account of him stealing a few hundred dollars worth of things.

so the mascot costume, and all its drawbacks, will have to do.

even if hes more of a jackass donkeyboy lololol.

yeah his kelptomania has caused him a lot of pain

closed many doors for him. hes pissed off most of the cliques with his stickyfingered ways.

most of his stolen loot gets shoved under his bed, but hes not adverse to chucking things in a donation bin somewhere either.

whoops that got a bit long. anyway. inbox is still open.

[hc masterpost link]

[scramratz]

29 and 40

90s grunge ig? I just wear whatever I like and it’s all from the thrift store. It’s a lot of cargo shorts and graphic band tees and flannel

I don’t have a hero. I think it’s mean to idolize people. My dyke auntie was rad tho

[carabiner-axe]

wish people stopped having an issue or just being weird about how i look. i sat down next to my mum to talk to my uncle, my aunty, and my 91y.o. nana over a videocall and my mum was like, "look, she got her haircut, now she looks like a boy again" (as if my hair wasn't already short before i got it done again at the barbers on friday, and as if she's never had short hair herself) and i had to try and laugh it off like, "don't be silly, i just look like a girl with short hair!" and my nana was like, "oh, you aren't going that way, are you, wanting to be a boy?" and i was like, "no, no, i just like my hair like this, that's all there is to it" and my nana was like, "do people treat you like one? how do people treat you with your hair that short?" and it's like, nana, i love you but you don't know i'm gay and get clocked for it. i love you, but i don't want to have to how to tell you i've had slurs yelled at me for having my hair be short (whether it's been "dyke", or the f-slur which isn't mine to say) or i've had a man follow me into the public loo (thankfully to only wash his hands but because he just wasn't paying attention and thought i was a boy going into the men's bathroom) or i've had older women be confused by me, i don't want to make you worry. i don't want my mum to want me to grow it out and dress femininely when it was suffocating me for most my teen years having to stick to the script. nana, i don't know how to tell you i'm just doing what i find most comfortable and what i've always wanted, but i just want you and mum and every other person confused by me to know i'm just a somewhat butch lesbian who prioritises personal comfort which so happens to be, dressing like this. being like this. that women CAN be like this, it doesn't mean we want to be anything else even if we don't always LIKE our bodies.

thankfully, my aunty was like, "oh, i imagine they just treat you like your ordinary self with your own unique personality!" and i was like, "yeah, sure, yes THANK you!" (mentally thinking, god, can we leave this? i got my haircut the same length i always do these days, it's not anything new, i am STILL ME)

[sylvanas-girlkisser]

Please please please expand on this milf campaign I need to know more

YEAH!!!!!!!!

So backstory first: imagine a cross between a lovecraftian elder god, and one of those christian momfluencers who just WILL NOT STOP having children due to an unexamined breeding kink. That's Illucia Starsong the woman who ate the gods.

Anyways 2 bazillion years ago the world basically existed in her image, then 1 billion years ago her 7 daughters (each themed around an element) teamed up to kill her. But then they chickened out last minute and instead trapped her inside the vault of her castle, and placed said castle at the bottom of a frozen lake.

The daughters went their separate ways, with Althaya (whose domain is nature) being the only one who tried to keep them in contact. A big part of Althaya's self image was being a healer and caretaker, so after a century or two of more and more of her sisters going no contact, she got married to a demon summoning warrior king. Cause you know, she could fix him.

So when that didn't work out, and her sisters weren't around to emotionally support her after the breakup/help her trap her ex in eternal torment underneath the roots of a tree, she decided to enter her villain phase.

Fast forward to now: After spending ages ruling an evil empire from the shadows Althaya, now going by matron Sortrose, has decided that if not even having children is going to fix the sense of loneliness she feels inside, her only choice is getting mom out from under the ice. Everything was way better when mom was in charge anyways! They were a family, and everybody loved her and saw what a kind and generous person she is!

So the high concept of the campaign is: the party having to track down the other 6 of Illucia's daughters and help them work through their issues so they can stop Althaya from unleashing the biblically accurate milfpocalypse.

And of course, since all her daughters have been around for a while, they're now all milf-aged, but because there's an in-universe justification, they don't count against my milf quota!! Also since the sisters are all some flavor of dyke, it means I also get to give them milf-aged girlfriends/wives who also don't count against my quota!!! #milfmaxing

So here's the seven sisters and their respective element and flavor of milf:

Ammanhue (magic) - witch milf

Aglaroth (Earth) - army/dad milf

Althaya (nature) - evil queen milf

Asper (air) - fuckboy butch milf

Aunrak (water) - paladin butch milf

Allustriel (fire) - unfuckable scientist milf (she's aroace)

Armillah (ice) - auntie milf (yes she has packed the party lunch, more than once)

Also a few other key milves from the story

Vivian Trench - detective milf, who is also a litteral cougar lady

Rhiannon - travelling magic item seller, with the approximate vibe of a used car salesman

Mocauhqui and Delilah - a couple of revolutionaries, who after succeeding in overthrowing the colonizers are doing a GREAT job at handling their trauma.

And of course my personal favorite: Azzy (aka. Azganriel the angel of love)

So, since Illucia is such a great and normal mom, when she learned her beloved daughter Asper was battling depression and addiction, she was like "I know what will help: a girlfriend who will act as a second mom when I'm not around." So then she created an angelic being in her own image, with limited capacity for independent thought, and sent her off to be Asper's girlfriend/caretaker.

It worked out about as well as you can imagine, but in the process, Azzy gained self-awareness which she used to be a huge slut. Her and Asper are bros now, and instead she's dating Aunrak.

So you've got this literal angel, loose fitting white gown and all (and a pair of melons to concuss a dragon), who is dating the most paladin to ever paladin. But she's also an endless source of innuendos, and will take any excuse to get her tits out, which never fails to turn said paladin wife into a tomato.

[neathyingenue]

Rotating the Striking Captain in my head some more. Wrote up a loose bio/timeline for her >:)

Brigid Byrne (she/her, occasionally he/him (?))

Moniker: The Striking Captain

Age: 31 or 32

Species: Human

Gender: Butch

Sexuality: Aromantic dyke

Timeline

1872

Born in London to a working-class Irish Catholic family, who had been in London during the Fall.

1872-1886

Brigid grows up as the 2nd oldest of 4 children; has several cousins and a large, loving family. Gets a bit of an education, as much as a poor kid in London would. Loves to listen to wild zee-ztories and play with urchins. She's athletic sibling/cousin who will beat up a bully for you.

1886-1890

Starts working at the docks as a dockhand with her uncle. Gradually starts to get jobs on fishing boats, then on longer voyages when she’s in her early 20s. Her family worries, but it’s the Neath, and her other siblings are just as wild.

At this point everyone knows Brigid is a lesbian. It’s not even a big deal. What’s a bigger deal is that this is London, this is the Bazaar, and Brigid just doesn’t get why everyone bangs on about love stories so much. She loves women, femmes, enbies, she loves to protect them, to make them feel valued and special, to have sex with them, to help them, share with them, be friends with them—she even loves flirting with them. But that doesn’t translate to having the kind of feelings that everyone is calling romantic.

1890-1899

Brigid draws recognition as a manager and leader. She works as a boatswain, quartermaster, even sometimes a first mate. She becomes a union organizer and is hailed as a hero of the Wolfstack Docks uprisings. She acquires the moniker ‘The Striking Captain’ because of how during a strike when she was serving as a strike captain, she led her union members to victory. Also because her personality, her voice, her manner is very striking!

She develops chronic pain and starts to use a cane when she can.

Her siblings and cousins start having kids. She’s the best auntie in existence.

1899 (1902)

Brigid’s activities finally catch the ire of the powerful. She’s briefly thrown in New Newgate. She decides to move out of her family’s house because if she’s going to have enemies, she doesn’t want them anywhere near her nieces and nephews (who she considers ‘her kids,’ not in the sense of she’s their parent, but like. They are kids. And they are hers, and she is theirs.)

There she hears some people muttering about the Vake. And she thinks—damn, if I caught him, how sick would that be? I’m already well-respected in Wolfstack, people know not to mess with me there. But this would show the rest of the city that I am NOT to be fucked with. My family is not to be fucked with!

Quirks/ characteristics

-Catholic but in a gay, superstitious, syncretistic cultural way, not in a I-stan-the-hierarchy way. (Wears a medallion of St Brigid on her carabiner, or whatever the Neath equivalent is)

-Curious. Will try anything once

-Brave and protective

-Tends to be a loner. Very social, has lots of acquaintances and admirers, but very few friends. She’s especially close to a cousin or two but that’s mostly it, and she thinks she doesn’t really need friends.

-Uncharted levels of rizz

-Occasionally overbearing and not good at listening

-Avoidant (get it bc Brigid Byrne burns bridges. Hahhahehehe)

-Physically powerful, explosive and strong—but what you don’t see is the bad days where her chronic pain flares up and she takes laudanum; or all the recovery time she needs after a grueling day or taxing fight.

-So obsessed with appearing to be strong that she is bad at asking for help.

[cantsayidont]

1993. The first issue of the indie comic DYKE'S DELIGHT had contributions from various artists, including Roberta Gregory and Leanne Franson, but the highlight is a story by Kate Charlesworth in which Auntie Studs, a middle-aged butch, recounts growing up in postwar England, including her first serious affair with a butch named Lenny, who ran a chip shop in femme drag by day (and thus couldn't quite hide the smell of chip grease) and charmed young Studs' mum. However, it didn't work out:

[gayass-ex-machina]

Got to my friend’s house while she and my nibling were out for a walk so I made myself a pour over and picked out a lil something from her bookshelf

[fadeintoyou1993]

i have this aunt that i think is a lesbian and i say this bc we r having a lil gathering bc todays my dads bday and my auntie said something about going to her friends party wearing a football jersey and i was like okay dyke lmfao and then my aunt was like lol im gonna wear a green dress (shes like a could be dyke that will never come out so she has two cats and lives alone and chooses the randomest dudes to appoint as attractive To Her) and one of my moms was like no bc did u see that greens like a Dyke Color now and i was like wait what bc ive been LOVING green lately and she was like Well sister lol and i was like thats so cool and my other mom was like its cosmic and my aunt was like lol thats not me though and my moms n i just looked at each other like this

[powergayser]

growing up as a desi woman in the west is a layered experience. that is, it has layers of bullshit. layers of total, utter, unadulterated shit. shit that takes years to remember, process, unpack, unlearn, and move on from. 

one of those layers is learning that you are not attractive. you’re just not. you’re ugly. 

you’re not thin, white, small, smooth, or pretty. you’re chubby and you have broad shoulders and thighs the size of texas. you grow hair at a rate that could rival most cis men out there. you’ve probably got a mustache that you have to shave/wax/thread every few days. your nose is too big, your lips are too thick, eyebrows are too wild, your skin is oily, and your hair is too frizzy. 

you don’t fit western beauty standards. at all. and that’s… okay, actually. it’s okay. you’re not white, you’re not european, why should you have to fit a specific set of standards to be beautiful? after all, true beauty comes from withi– 

hang on. you’re forgetting something. 

you’re too thin, don’t you eat anything? wait, no, now that you’re eating you’re too fat. if you work out too much, you’ll become too muscular, like a man. your skin is soo dark, what do you keep going outside for? stay at home, you’re a girl. what’s wrong with your face, you have so many pimples! stop eating x food item and maybe your skin will clear up. do some house work, it’ll help you lose weight. why aren’t you wearing a bra? your nipples are showing, go cover up, it’s indecent.

how will you get married if you look like that? 

you won’t get a husband if you keep eating like that. no man wants to marry a pig. 

she’s too short, too fat, her face isn’t very nice… no, we don’t want her to marry our son. 

you just can’t catch a break, can you? 

sure, you’re not white, so you can’t expect to fit the bullshit eurocentric beauty standards. but now the aunties of your community, your own people, are doing this to you? wow that. that just sucks, man. 

and eventually, when you grow up, you realize the standards of beauty that your own community is pushing on you is a reflection of the bullshit eurocentric beauty standards. it all goes back to whiteness, misogyny, and patriarchy. that’s all it is. 

but now you’ve got to undo all of that damage, and continue to exist in a world where these issues persist, because there aren’t many good solutions to these problems that don’t involve revolution. furthermore, you as an individual can’t do much about it. fun, isn’t it? 

yeah. real fun. but here’s something more positive, i guess:

i’m a transmasc dyke now. i don’t shave, my stomach isn’t flat, i eat whatever i want because i know my body. i work out to put on muscle, and i let myself tan in the summers. i dress like a “slut” on saturday nights and go to the gay bar. i don’t always feel beautiful, but i know my self worth. i do not dress and take care of myself to impress men or appease the aunties. i’m happy like this. 

there’s more to life than getting a fucking husband and giving people eating disorders and body dysmorphia. shut the fuck up and find a new hobby. 

[redheadbigshoes]

I was talking to my auntie who was in the queer community in the 80s about the word Dyke and she made an interesting point that its a word that meant and means a woman who doesn't like men and she says she believes ace women are dykes too

This is interesting because I thought if terms like bisexual weren’t a thing back then and people were either classified as gay or straight I’d imagine people had no idea ace people existed.

[kittykatninja321]

I feel like the white gays I hang out with on occasion cannot clock me at all they think hetero holly just hanging out. Meanwhile homophobic African aunties my mother included have been smelling the dyke on me since I was 12

[linoguy]

they're having dyke sex. mom hyunjin and auntie lee know. THEM.and post