#dyke auntie

[gayass-ex-machina]

Another day in the Hudson Valley 🍂 🍻

@drcatmom @shelloebejelloe

[whyalesbianstakingtestosterone]

No rizz, just yapping, big grey eyes and whimsical, off putting vibes

[lacefuneral]

[old man yelling at cloud voice] i fucking hate "fruity" i hate "neurospicy" i hate tiktokisms why is everyone so scared to say Faggot and Autistic

[scramratz]

29 and 40

90s grunge ig? I just wear whatever I like and it’s all from the thrift store. It’s a lot of cargo shorts and graphic band tees and flannel

I don’t have a hero. I think it’s mean to idolize people. My dyke auntie was rad tho

[carabiner-axe]

wish people stopped having an issue or just being weird about how i look. i sat down next to my mum to talk to my uncle, my aunty, and my 91y.o. nana over a videocall and my mum was like, "look, she got her haircut, now she looks like a boy again" (as if my hair wasn't already short before i got it done again at the barbers on friday, and as if she's never had short hair herself) and i had to try and laugh it off like, "don't be silly, i just look like a girl with short hair!" and my nana was like, "oh, you aren't going that way, are you, wanting to be a boy?" and i was like, "no, no, i just like my hair like this, that's all there is to it" and my nana was like, "do people treat you like one? how do people treat you with your hair that short?" and it's like, nana, i love you but you don't know i'm gay and get clocked for it. i love you, but i don't want to have to how to tell you i've had slurs yelled at me for having my hair be short (whether it's been "dyke", or the f-slur which isn't mine to say) or i've had a man follow me into the public loo (thankfully to only wash his hands but because he just wasn't paying attention and thought i was a boy going into the men's bathroom) or i've had older women be confused by me, i don't want to make you worry. i don't want my mum to want me to grow it out and dress femininely when it was suffocating me for most my teen years having to stick to the script. nana, i don't know how to tell you i'm just doing what i find most comfortable and what i've always wanted, but i just want you and mum and every other person confused by me to know i'm just a somewhat butch lesbian who prioritises personal comfort which so happens to be, dressing like this. being like this. that women CAN be like this, it doesn't mean we want to be anything else even if we don't always LIKE our bodies.

thankfully, my aunty was like, "oh, i imagine they just treat you like your ordinary self with your own unique personality!" and i was like, "yeah, sure, yes THANK you!" (mentally thinking, god, can we leave this? i got my haircut the same length i always do these days, it's not anything new, i am STILL ME)

[sylvanas-girlkisser]

Please please please expand on this milf campaign I need to know more

YEAH!!!!!!!!

So backstory first: imagine a cross between a lovecraftian elder god, and one of those christian momfluencers who just WILL NOT STOP having children due to an unexamined breeding kink. That's Illucia Starsong the woman who ate the gods.

Anyways 2 bazillion years ago the world basically existed in her image, then 1 billion years ago her 7 daughters (each themed around an element) teamed up to kill her. But then they chickened out last minute and instead trapped her inside the vault of her castle, and placed said castle at the bottom of a frozen lake.

The daughters went their separate ways, with Althaya (whose domain is nature) being the only one who tried to keep them in contact. A big part of Althaya's self image was being a healer and caretaker, so after a century or two of more and more of her sisters going no contact, she got married to a demon summoning warrior king. Cause you know, she could fix him.

So when that didn't work out, and her sisters weren't around to emotionally support her after the breakup/help her trap her ex in eternal torment underneath the roots of a tree, she decided to enter her villain phase.

Fast forward to now: After spending ages ruling an evil empire from the shadows Althaya, now going by matron Sortrose, has decided that if not even having children is going to fix the sense of loneliness she feels inside, her only choice is getting mom out from under the ice. Everything was way better when mom was in charge anyways! They were a family, and everybody loved her and saw what a kind and generous person she is!

So the high concept of the campaign is: the party having to track down the other 6 of Illucia's daughters and help them work through their issues so they can stop Althaya from unleashing the biblically accurate milfpocalypse.

And of course, since all her daughters have been around for a while, they're now all milf-aged, but because there's an in-universe justification, they don't count against my milf quota!! Also since the sisters are all some flavor of dyke, it means I also get to give them milf-aged girlfriends/wives who also don't count against my quota!!! #milfmaxing

So here's the seven sisters and their respective element and flavor of milf:

Ammanhue (magic) - witch milf

Aglaroth (Earth) - army/dad milf

Althaya (nature) - evil queen milf

Asper (air) - fuckboy butch milf

Aunrak (water) - paladin butch milf

Allustriel (fire) - unfuckable scientist milf (she's aroace)

Armillah (ice) - auntie milf (yes she has packed the party lunch, more than once)

Also a few other key milves from the story

Vivian Trench - detective milf, who is also a litteral cougar lady

Rhiannon - travelling magic item seller, with the approximate vibe of a used car salesman

Mocauhqui and Delilah - a couple of revolutionaries, who after succeeding in overthrowing the colonizers are doing a GREAT job at handling their trauma.

And of course my personal favorite: Azzy (aka. Azganriel the angel of love)

So, since Illucia is such a great and normal mom, when she learned her beloved daughter Asper was battling depression and addiction, she was like "I know what will help: a girlfriend who will act as a second mom when I'm not around." So then she created an angelic being in her own image, with limited capacity for independent thought, and sent her off to be Asper's girlfriend/caretaker.

It worked out about as well as you can imagine, but in the process, Azzy gained self-awareness which she used to be a huge slut. Her and Asper are bros now, and instead she's dating Aunrak.

So you've got this literal angel, loose fitting white gown and all (and a pair of melons to concuss a dragon), who is dating the most paladin to ever paladin. But she's also an endless source of innuendos, and will take any excuse to get her tits out, which never fails to turn said paladin wife into a tomato.

[neathyingenue]

Rotating the Striking Captain in my head some more. Wrote up a loose bio/timeline for her >:)

Brigid Byrne (she/her, occasionally he/him (?))

Moniker: The Striking Captain

Age: 31 or 32

Species: Human

Gender: Butch

Sexuality: Aromantic dyke

Timeline

1872

Born in London to a working-class Irish Catholic family, who had been in London during the Fall.

1872-1886

Brigid grows up as the 2nd oldest of 4 children; has several cousins and a large, loving family. Gets a bit of an education, as much as a poor kid in London would. Loves to listen to wild zee-ztories and play with urchins. She's athletic sibling/cousin who will beat up a bully for you.

1886-1890

Starts working at the docks as a dockhand with her uncle. Gradually starts to get jobs on fishing boats, then on longer voyages when she’s in her early 20s. Her family worries, but it’s the Neath, and her other siblings are just as wild.

At this point everyone knows Brigid is a lesbian. It’s not even a big deal. What’s a bigger deal is that this is London, this is the Bazaar, and Brigid just doesn’t get why everyone bangs on about love stories so much. She loves women, femmes, enbies, she loves to protect them, to make them feel valued and special, to have sex with them, to help them, share with them, be friends with them—she even loves flirting with them. But that doesn’t translate to having the kind of feelings that everyone is calling romantic.

1890-1899

Brigid draws recognition as a manager and leader. She works as a boatswain, quartermaster, even sometimes a first mate. She becomes a union organizer and is hailed as a hero of the Wolfstack Docks uprisings. She acquires the moniker ‘The Striking Captain’ because of how during a strike when she was serving as a strike captain, she led her union members to victory. Also because her personality, her voice, her manner is very striking!

She develops chronic pain and starts to use a cane when she can.

Her siblings and cousins start having kids. She’s the best auntie in existence.

1899 (1902)

Brigid’s activities finally catch the ire of the powerful. She’s briefly thrown in New Newgate. She decides to move out of her family’s house because if she’s going to have enemies, she doesn’t want them anywhere near her nieces and nephews (who she considers ‘her kids,’ not in the sense of she’s their parent, but like. They are kids. And they are hers, and she is theirs.)

There she hears some people muttering about the Vake. And she thinks—damn, if I caught him, how sick would that be? I’m already well-respected in Wolfstack, people know not to mess with me there. But this would show the rest of the city that I am NOT to be fucked with. My family is not to be fucked with!

Quirks/ characteristics

-Catholic but in a gay, superstitious, syncretistic cultural way, not in a I-stan-the-hierarchy way. (Wears a medallion of St Brigid on her carabiner, or whatever the Neath equivalent is)

-Curious. Will try anything once

-Brave and protective

-Tends to be a loner. Very social, has lots of acquaintances and admirers, but very few friends. She’s especially close to a cousin or two but that’s mostly it, and she thinks she doesn’t really need friends.

-Uncharted levels of rizz

-Occasionally overbearing and not good at listening

-Avoidant (get it bc Brigid Byrne burns bridges. Hahhahehehe)

-Physically powerful, explosive and strong—but what you don’t see is the bad days where her chronic pain flares up and she takes laudanum; or all the recovery time she needs after a grueling day or taxing fight.

-So obsessed with appearing to be strong that she is bad at asking for help.

[cantsayidont]

1993. The first issue of the indie comic DYKE'S DELIGHT had contributions from various artists, including Roberta Gregory and Leanne Franson, but the highlight is a story by Kate Charlesworth in which Auntie Studs, a middle-aged butch, recounts growing up in postwar England, including her first serious affair with a butch named Lenny, who ran a chip shop in femme drag by day (and thus couldn't quite hide the smell of chip grease) and charmed young Studs' mum. However, it didn't work out:

[fadeintoyou1993]

i have this aunt that i think is a lesbian and i say this bc we r having a lil gathering bc todays my dads bday and my auntie said something about going to her friends party wearing a football jersey and i was like okay dyke lmfao and then my aunt was like lol im gonna wear a green dress (shes like a could be dyke that will never come out so she has two cats and lives alone and chooses the randomest dudes to appoint as attractive To Her) and one of my moms was like no bc did u see that greens like a Dyke Color now and i was like wait what bc ive been LOVING green lately and she was like Well sister lol and i was like thats so cool and my other mom was like its cosmic and my aunt was like lol thats not me though and my moms n i just looked at each other like this

[gayass-ex-machina]

Got to my friend’s house while she and my nibling were out for a walk so I made myself a pour over and picked out a lil something from her bookshelf

[powergayser]

growing up as a desi woman in the west is a layered experience. that is, it has layers of bullshit. layers of total, utter, unadulterated shit. shit that takes years to remember, process, unpack, unlearn, and move on from. 

one of those layers is learning that you are not attractive. you’re just not. you’re ugly. 

you’re not thin, white, small, smooth, or pretty. you’re chubby and you have broad shoulders and thighs the size of texas. you grow hair at a rate that could rival most cis men out there. you’ve probably got a mustache that you have to shave/wax/thread every few days. your nose is too big, your lips are too thick, eyebrows are too wild, your skin is oily, and your hair is too frizzy. 

you don’t fit western beauty standards. at all. and that’s… okay, actually. it’s okay. you’re not white, you’re not european, why should you have to fit a specific set of standards to be beautiful? after all, true beauty comes from withi– 

hang on. you’re forgetting something. 

you’re too thin, don’t you eat anything? wait, no, now that you’re eating you’re too fat. if you work out too much, you’ll become too muscular, like a man. your skin is soo dark, what do you keep going outside for? stay at home, you’re a girl. what’s wrong with your face, you have so many pimples! stop eating x food item and maybe your skin will clear up. do some house work, it’ll help you lose weight. why aren’t you wearing a bra? your nipples are showing, go cover up, it’s indecent.

how will you get married if you look like that? 

you won’t get a husband if you keep eating like that. no man wants to marry a pig. 

she’s too short, too fat, her face isn’t very nice… no, we don’t want her to marry our son. 

you just can’t catch a break, can you? 

sure, you’re not white, so you can’t expect to fit the bullshit eurocentric beauty standards. but now the aunties of your community, your own people, are doing this to you? wow that. that just sucks, man. 

and eventually, when you grow up, you realize the standards of beauty that your own community is pushing on you is a reflection of the bullshit eurocentric beauty standards. it all goes back to whiteness, misogyny, and patriarchy. that’s all it is. 

but now you’ve got to undo all of that damage, and continue to exist in a world where these issues persist, because there aren’t many good solutions to these problems that don’t involve revolution. furthermore, you as an individual can’t do much about it. fun, isn’t it? 

yeah. real fun. but here’s something more positive, i guess:

i’m a transmasc dyke now. i don’t shave, my stomach isn’t flat, i eat whatever i want because i know my body. i work out to put on muscle, and i let myself tan in the summers. i dress like a “slut” on saturday nights and go to the gay bar. i don’t always feel beautiful, but i know my self worth. i do not dress and take care of myself to impress men or appease the aunties. i’m happy like this. 

there’s more to life than getting a fucking husband and giving people eating disorders and body dysmorphia. shut the fuck up and find a new hobby. 

[redheadbigshoes]

I was talking to my auntie who was in the queer community in the 80s about the word Dyke and she made an interesting point that its a word that meant and means a woman who doesn't like men and she says she believes ace women are dykes too

This is interesting because I thought if terms like bisexual weren’t a thing back then and people were either classified as gay or straight I’d imagine people had no idea ace people existed.

[kittykatninja321]

I feel like the white gays I hang out with on occasion cannot clock me at all they think hetero holly just hanging out. Meanwhile homophobic African aunties my mother included have been smelling the dyke on me since I was 12

[linoguy]

they're having dyke sex. mom hyunjin and auntie lee know. THEM.and post

[ask-the-shorty-squad]

Hey Picklehead! Why do you always call him "Papa Teru"? Shouldn't it be something like "Mama Teru" considering, y'know.

Hey!! Shut your mouth Miu!! I didnt accept it at first too.. But he isnt mine to control. I cant tell him who to be and neither can you! We're all equals here remember!

Oh please! What would you know about gender equality?

A whole lot more than you!!

You sayin' this Glamorous Girl Genius isnt a fuckin' Genius?!

Well maybe I am!! Atleast I'm not misgendering or being Transphobic behind a friends back!! Teru is resting and unaware you're even here! And you had the audacity to say that?! You're a.. a... Degenerate Female!!! You're gonna apologize to him once he's awake!!!

ALRIGHT LET'S FUCKING GO BITCH, CMON YOU REALLY GONNA HIT A GIRL YOU UGLY ASS DYKE-

"Slap!!!"

*:0*

This is for all the sex jokes!

"Slap!!!"

And this! This is for misgendering and being Transphobic to Teru behind his back!!!

"SLAP!!!!!!!!"

*The sound of the slap echoed throughout the entire house.*

Heeeeee!!!

Y-You had it coming!! Dont make me look like the bad guy!! A-And I'm still gonna make you apologize for being so rude Miu!! Once Terus awake that is...

... Um... Auntie Saionji?

Yeah I heard the whole thing. C'mon let's go play Uno or something. Away from this situation.

*The two leave the living room and head upstairs to Monaca's bedroom.*

[therakesprogress]

Auntie Jean, I never knew you were a dyke.

Well, do like the little Dutch boy did.