#dunno why i made this on my phone even though i have a drawing tablet...

[lindiiris]

The sillies <3

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 10: Prickly Pair (originally posted on March 22, 2021)

AN: We're getting close to shit gettin' down here! As Steven tries out a new hobby, we learn pretty quickly he refuses to move on from anything while his hobby begins to turn on him. Wow, that's a sentence I never thought I would say.

Synopsis: Steven takes up gardening and grows a sentient cactus that repeats everything he says.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven, Cactus Steven

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno Hall as Pearl

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

--

One afternoon in Beach City, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were helping Steven carry large bags of dirt to his conservatory above the beach house. A few days had passed since the Little Homeschool graduation, and Steven had decided what he wanted to do next.

"We got your dirt, dude!" Amethyst exclaimed as she helped the other Gems with carrying the dirt to the conservatory.

"Thanks, guys," Steven replied gratefully while opening the door to the conservatory. "come on in."

Inside, the Gems discovered a beautiful garden of flowers awaiting them. "How many of these did your magic spit grow?" Amethyst asked.

"None." Steven answered with a chuckle. "I grew all these the old-fashioned way."

"So this is what you've been up to since leaving Little Homeschool." Garnet realized.

"Yeah, teaching was great and all, but I dunno if that was my calling in life." Steven said. "Besides, it was really bittersweet seeing the Off-Colors leave."

"Well, I think this is a wonderful way to spend some you time." Pearl praised Steven's new hobby.

"Me time? I'm hardly alone here." Steven snickered before he knelt and gazed at a bluebell flower. "I call this little smartie Connie." Then, he got back up to examine an onion. "And this onion I call, well, Onion." Next, Steven gestured to some perennials. "And these perennials will never leave!" He began to point to a few of them in particular. "That one's Sadie, and this is her band Daisy Clover and the Shrub-Spects." Finally, he walked over to a pink flower in a blue pot with a star on it. "I named this one Lars." Steven revealed before he started talking to it. "You're stuck in the ground, aren't you?" he said in baby-talk. "Not going to zip into space and leave everyone behind. No you won't, no you won't."

Garnet and Pearl just stared at Steven with concerned looks on their faces, but Amethyst was too busy snacking on dirt to look the same.

"Uh, Steven?" Amethyst said, chewing on some of the soil.

"This might not be the healthiest approach to your new hobby." Garnet admitted bluntly.

"Besides, Onion ain't ever leading anytime soon!" Amethyst added. "Unfortunately!" she coughed.

"I'm just having fun, that's all!" Steven fibbed. "You all should take it easy. They're just plants!"

"In that case, we'll leave you to it." Pearl declared while the three Gems left the conservatory.

"Have fun, dude!" Amethyst called while the door closed behind them. After a bit, the door reopened.

"You should probably keep an eye on your plants, though." Garnet warned, peeking her head through the door before leaving again.

As soon as the Gems departed, Steven turned to discover a lonely, decaying cactus sitting on a wooden table behind him. "Huh?" he muttered while walking over to check up on the prickly plant. "What am I doing?" Steven mused to himself. "Is this really my thing now, plants?"

Steven then picked up a knife and began using it to cut off the top of the cactus. "Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl aren't even impressed." He continued monologuing to himself. "I guess gardening just isn't as awesome as saving the universe."

Steven then moved the cactus cutting away from the cactus he cut it from while filling a new pot with dirt. "Okay, little guy, welcome to your new-OUCH!" he yelped in pain from pricking himself on the cactus top, before sticking his injured finger in his mouth. When Steven popped his finger out, the saliva gathered began to sparkle as he placed the cutting in the pot. "Probably should've worn gloves."

Just then, Steven's tummy began to rumble. "Whoa, guess it must be lunchtime." He said to himself before turning to the cactus. "I'll be back for you soon, little guy."

As Steven left the cactus in the conservatory, something about the succulent began to change slowly.

--

"Yo, you think something is up with Steven?" Amethyst asked Garnet and Pearl down at the beach house. "I mean, I'm sure we can all agree it's weird he's naming the plants after people who already parted ways with him."

"Yes, very strange indeed." Garnet agreed. "Perhaps we should talk to him about it."

"Or, maybe we could just leave him alone." Amethyst suggested. "I mean, I'm sure it's a very touchy subject for him."

"That reminds me." Pearl interjected, plucking her phone from her gem. "Childcare book author George Ikari is holding a signing in a week, and I plan on going." She showed Garnet and Pearl a picture of a bearded man with glasses ominously clasping his fingers together while on the cover of a book titled "What to Do When Your Child Feels Directionless."

"That cover doesn't look menacing at all." Amethyst declared sarcastically.

"I'm going to have to side with Pearl for this, Amethyst." Garnet stated. "Maybe this book could be helpful."

Just then, Steven came walking downstairs from the conservatory. "Hey guys, what are you talking about?"

"We were just discussing this author Pearl wants to see some time." Garnet said. "So, how are things going with your plants?"

"I just pricked my finger on a cactus, no big." Steven laughed nervously.

"Oh my, best get that looked at!" Pearl yelped. "Who knows how long till it gets infected?"

"Relax Pearl, I'm fine." Steven replied. "Nothing some healing spit can't fix."

--

The following day, Steven went back up to the conservatory with a watering can in hand to take care of his cactus when he made a startling discovery.

The cactus had grown! Not just bigger and healthier, but it had also grown a face, and was barking like a dog at him.

"Whoa!" Steven exclaimed as he threw the watering can away and raced to the now living cactus. "Oh my gosh, did I make my cactus come to life? I have got to tell the Gems about this!"

--

Downstairs, Amethyst was taking a group selfie with Garnet and Pearl when Steven came to them with his latest discovery.

"Hey guys, look what I made!" Steven proudly presented his plant, which continued barking. "Look at the little guy!"

"I thought you weren't using your spit on your plants?" Amethyst wondered while putting the phone away.

"No, I think I may have accidentally made it come alive with my spit." Steven replied. "I think it may have been after I pricked myself yesterday."

"A likely story!" Amethyst declared, squinting at Steven suspiciously.

"That cactus really bounced back." Garnet remarked, thinking back to how decayed it was yesterday.

"A real survivor, much like you." Pearl added proudly.

"Aww, and he's got a little lumpy head like you!" Amethyst cooed to the cactus. "Hey, why don't we call it Cactus Steven?"

"Cactus Steven, eh?" the real Steven asked. "Call me conceited, but I kinda like it."

Cactus Steven began cooing at the Gems, though in a way that made Pearl concerned. "Is he okay?"

"I think he just wants some sunlight." Steven realized, turning the pot so that his cactus lookalike faced him. "Maybe I could use some too."

--

Throughout the rest of the day, Steven took his little cactus around Beach City and Little Homeworld, showing him to all his friends and introducing the succulent to all the things he liked to do.

As the day rolled to a close, the two Stevens took this moment to just sit down on the beach and watch the sunset together.

"This beach, it just never changes." Steven mused to his new cactus friend. "I mean, a lot has changed. I'm trying to be cool about it, but everything just feels so weird now. Everybody's moving on with their lives, and I should be too. I gave up running the school, but I still don't know what comes next." He then turned to Cactus Steven. "You know what I'm talking about, right?"

As a cactus that only came to life not too long ago, Cactus Steven turned to his Gem/human counterpart with an expression that one would make when saying, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"It's probably better that I'm not running Little Homeschool anymore!" Steven continued, even though Cactus Steven probably isn't able to make a concrete reply. "But who am I to decide what's best for everyone anymore?" Steven then got up and began to walk away from Cactus Steven. "Those Gems are better off learning from Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Lapis, Peridot, Bismuth, everyone!" He started getting more stressed with each word. "Why do I need to be needed?! Come on Steven, what's wrong with you?!"

Cactus Steven turned his little head sideways, or as sideways as he could in his pot, with a sad look Steven's way.

"Sorry I had to dump this all on you, Mini-Me." Steven chuckled apologetically to his plant.

"Eeee!" Cactus Steven squeaked in comfort.

"Okay, let's go home." Steven obliged in understanding, and the pair began making their way back to the temple.

--

Another day passed, and Steven was once again tending to his plants in the conservatory. "Good morning Ronaldo, good morning Nanafua!" he said to his flowers as he watered them. "And a very special good morning-" Steven suddenly tripped over in alarm as he discovered something about Cactus Steven has changed. "-to you. Wow, you really grew overnight!"

"Good morning to you!" croaked Cactus Steven, who now began taking the shape of Steven's head.

"Whoa, did you just speak?!" Steven cried in amazement.

"Whoa, did you just speak?!" Cactus Steven replied.

"This is too much!" Steven shouted. "I've got to tell the Gems about this!"

--

Amethyst was looking at a tablet while Pearl was drawing in a notepad and Garnet reviewed her art downstairs on the couch. "Oh, hello Steven." Pearl greeted Steven as he came downstairs with Cactus Steven in his hand. "Hello Cactus Steven."

"Hey Pearl, you have to see this." Steven said while presenting his cactus counterpart to the Gems.

"Hey Pearl." Cactus Steven mimicked to their amazement.

"That's so freakin' cute!" Amethyst cried.

"He's growing to become quite the talker." Garnet added.

"And he said my name too!" Pearl stated. "You think he might be copying you?"

"I think so." Steven agreed with a shrug.

"Hi Pearl!" Cactus Steven continued. At first it seemed cute, but then the little guy kept talking. "But who am I to decide what's best for everyone anymore?" he began parroting Steven's pensive moment from yesterday. "Everybody's moving on with their lives, and I should be too."

"Uh, this isn't what it sounds like, I swear." Steven said defensively.

"Is it me, or is your cactus real good at self-deprecating?" Amethyst remarked.

"Sorry I had to dump this all o-" Cactus Steven tried to continue before the regular Steven tried to make it shut up by covering his mouth, but that only resulted in more cactus spines on his hand. "Come on Steven, what's wrong with you?!"

"Is something the matter Steven?" Pearl inquired, tilting her head with concern.

Steven refused to answer and instead raced back upstairs while the cactus continued talking. "Why do I need to be needed?! Why do I need to be needed?!"

"See what I told you the other day?" Amethyst said to Garnet and Pearl. "Something's definitely up!"

"Seems like Steven's got some problems he doesn't want our help with." Garnet adjusted her glasses in contemplation. "I suggest we find a way to help him without getting him too wound up."

"Still, it seems like Steven's letting a lot of issues just bottle up inside him." Pearl began worrying. "This is definitely not healthy. I think George Ikari might've said that in one of his books."

--

Back at the conservatory, Steven sat Cactus Steven on the table to give him a firm talking-to. "What was all that for?!" he yelled angrily. "I wanted that stuff to be private, but here you go just spouting out words that'll make everyone freak out about me!"

"What was all that for?!" Cactus Steven copied his master.

"Because I thought you'd be nice to talk to!" Steven complained as he began pacing around the conservatory. "I can't tell Pearl how I feel, cause then she'd get super depressed and start blaming herself like she always does! Meanwhile, Garnet would probably give me advice while sounding all high and mighty, Amethyst would try to look mature, and no one else would understand me!"

"No one else would understand me!" Cactus Steven aped Steven's words.

"I know, right? I mean, get over yourself already." Steven scoffed. "Please don't tell anyone I said that."

"I thought you'd be nice to talk to!" Cactus Steven continued impersonating his fleshy counterpart before Steven covered him up with a box. "What was all that for?!"

"Oh you know what." Steven coldly declared as he exited the conservatory. "I can't let anyone find out about this." He sighed heavily just as he found Amethyst standing nearby.

"Find out about what?" Amethyst asked Steven.

"Oh oh oh, it's nothing Amethyst, honest!" Steven began fibbing while his pupils began shifting around. "I mean, why do you ask?"

"Just wanted to check up on you, brah." Amethyst replied with a comforting hand on Steven's arm. "Look, if you need help, just say the word, and we'll be there."

"Okay then." Steven moaned. "That reminds me, is Peridot doing anything at the moment?"

--

"So, you are saying this cactus has begun to imitate everything you say?" Peridot asked Steven as she examined Cactus Steven under a magnifying glass at her greenhouse.

"Yeah, and it's starting to freak me out a little too." Steven answered.

"Get over yourself already!" Cactus Steven yelled, his voice beginning to sound a little clearer to their pair's alarm.

"Is there anything you can do to stop this?" Steven asked Peridot hopefully.

"I must apologize, Steven, but I don't think I can be of any assistance." Peridot replied morosely.

"No one else would understand me!" Cactus Steven continued imitating, seemingly agreeing with Peridot.

"See what I mean?" the little green Gem remarked with a thumb to Cactus Steven. The Steven she knew just buried his face in his hands and tried his hardest not to yell in frustration.

Outside the greenhouse, a small, black spy camera watched the greenhouse as Steven left with Cactus Steven in hand. But the moment Peridot turned around, it suddenly activated a camouflage feature.

--

That night, Steven had decided to close the conservatory to watch Cactus Steven, posting a sign on the door saying that the little cactus needed rest.

"Now all the Gems are worried about me, and Peridot wasn't any help either." Steven moaned in defeat while sitting near Cactus Steven. Just then, he heard some muffled yelling coming from the box he hid the living succulent in. "Hm?"

Walking over to the box, Steven picked it up to discover that Cactus Steven had grown some more, and had even sprouted an arm from the soil.

"Oh my gosh! Cactus Steven, what's wrong with you?!" Steven began panicking.

"What's wrong with you?" Cactus Steven repeated, earning his bigger self's ire.

"What's wrong is that you keep making me look stupid and helpless in front of everyone!" Steven cried furiously as he picked up the pot.

"Stupid!" Cactus Steven mocked Steven and pointed his newly grown arm at him. "Helpless!"

"I wish you wouldn't talk!" Steven argued before he began to glow pink.

"I wish YOU wouldn't talk!" Cactus Steven replied just as angrily.

"STOP IT!" Steven fully glowed pink, but then abruptly stopped when he heard Pearl's voice.

"Steven, time for dinner!" Pearl called for him from downstairs.

"Coming Pearl, just give me a second!" Steven replied to Pearl, and then turned back to Cactus Steven with an angry glare. "Not. Another. Word."

As Steven left the conservatory, Cactus Steven once again began to grow. "Not. Another. Word."

--

Early the next morning, Steven was asleep in his bed when suddenly, he was awakened by the sound of breaking glass. He raced up to the conservatory, where it was in total disarray, and a large hole was made in the glass wall.

"Uh, Cactus Steven?" Steven called for the living cactus while following a trail of needles leading back to his room. "If you're mad about yesterday, I get it, but I'm just going through some things right now."

Steven looked around with nervousness and curiosity, while a massive lump revealed itself on his bed. Cactus Steven slowly rose from under the blanket, revealing that he was now around Steven's height with a foot still stuck in his pot. "STEEEEVEEEEEN!"

"Whoa!" Steven yelled in terror, causing him to fall down the stairs and onto the table. Cactus Steven tumbled after the boy and was prepared to crush him before Steven rolled out of the way. "Cactus Steven, you need to go back to your home!"

"Go back to your home!" Cactus Steven croaked in reply.

"This is my home!" Steven shrieked while trying to push the cactus beast away from him, only to be covered in cactus needles. "AGH!" he yelled in agony while trying to shake some of the needles off. Cactus Steven did the same, which made more needles fly around the room.

"Just cut it out!" Steven yelled.

"Just get out!" Cactus Steven yelled back, charging at his doppelganger like an angry predator.

"Don't come any closer!" Steven summoned his shield to protect himself from any more needles.

"STEEEEEVEEEEEN!" Cactus Steven roared, just as Steven thrust his shield into his succulent counterpart's torso.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" Steven frantically apologized.

Cactus Steven, however, didn't feel any pain, except for a large gash created by the shield thrown into his shoulder. After dislodging the shield, Cactus Steven threw the weapon back at Steven. "This is my home!"

"He's gone berserk!" Steven yelled fearfully before he found three figures approaching the front door. "The Gems!"

"The Gems don't need me anymore!" Cactus Steven said.

"Those are my private thoughts, and you should know it!" Steven scolded the cactus. "I can't let them hear about this!"

"What an all-nighter, am I right?!" Amethyst quipped as she, Garnet and Pearl returned to the beach house.

"Those Gems did need to get some extra studying in." Garnet replied.

"Plus, there was that strange camera thing that kept following us around." Pearl added. "I could've sworn it's leading up to something bigger, but it shut down before I could question it."

Before Pearl could say anymore, Steven came barging out the front door. "Oh, hey guys!" he laughed nervously. "Uhh, everything's fine and totally normal, nothing to see here! Hey, you think maybe you could wait a couple of hours? I've got things to do, okay, BYE!"

The Gems turned to the window as Steven fought against Cactus Steven with his shield, cluing them in on what was going on.

"Man, someone's been hittin' the photosynthesis!" Amethyst quipped before the Crystal Gems summoned their weapons and headed inside.

"We're here to help Steven!" Pearl declared protectively.

"I can't tell Pearl how I feel, cause then she'd get super depressed and start blaming herself like she always does!" Cactus Steven said in response to Pearl, making her drop her guard.

"What?" Pearl muttered in shock.

"I have no idea what he's talking about!" Steven continued to fib.

"But it's not inaccurate!" Amethyst snarked.

"JUST, GET, OUT!" Cactus Steven bellowed as he charged at the Gems, but Garnet punched his arm off, and it was sent flying at the fridge. However, it soon quickly got back up and grew tendrils from its stump to stand on.

"Whoa, that's kicka-" Amethyst began before she was kicked in the face by Cactus Steven's foot, breaking the pot and making shards fly everywhere. As Cactus Steven started to get up, Garnet punched the rest of him towards the sink, breaking it and dousing him in water.

Meanwhile, the arm launched itself at Pearl and was impaled on her spear, but then it exploded in her face and covered her in needles. "Eugh-ga-hahahaha!" Pearl groaned from the needles covering her.

As for Cactus Steven, he began to absorb the water from the sink and grow even larger, sprouting more limbs along with more Steven faces all over his body, all of them repeating Steven's venting just like the main head.

"The Gems don't need me!" Cactus Steven's heads yelled in unison while causing the house to fall apart by stomping around. "I thought you'd be nice to talk to!"

"Okay, Pinoke, that's even being a puppet!" Amethyst declared while wrapping her whip around the cactus monster's leg. Cactus Steven grabbed onto a rafter to keep himself from falling, but it was no help, and the rafter was split in two.

"Cut it out!" the cactus creature yelled while wrapping Amethyst in his roots and slamming her into the ceiling before Garnet and Pearl tried to rescue her. Unfortunately, Pearl found her spear getting stuck in the monster's thick & fleshy skin.

"Why is this thing so durable?!" Pearl complained while Cactus Steven tried to get her off.

"The cactus is Earth's most durable plant!" Garnet declared before she gave the cactus's leg a strong punch, making more spines fly everywhere and once again pricking Pearl.

"Garnet!" Pearl stuttered for her de-facto leader before her spear was freed from the cactus's body, and she fell down.

"Give up; you can't win this fight, you giant succulent!" Garnet declared.

"Garnet would probably give me advice while sounding all high and mighty!" Cactus Steven complained, catching the fusion by surprise.

"I'm sorry, what?" Garnet asked as she was punched away. Amethyst scaled the ceiling with her whip in her mouth, and she dropped down onto Cactus Steven's back to attack.

"Sneak attack!" Amethyst cried.

"Amethyst would try to look mature!" Cactus Steven babbled, much to the defective Quartz's confusion.

"Why's he so oddly specific in complaining about us?" Amethyst asked before both halves of Cactus Steven clamped shut on her. She was dumped on the ground while covered in cactus spines, followed by all three Crystal Gems being pinned against the temple entrance wall.

"I think I got it!" Steven realized while the Gems screamed in terror. "He's repeating me, he's repeating all my private thoughts!" Then, he got an idea. "Wait, he can copy me! Girls, I got a plan!" Steven bravely marched up to his cactus with shield in hand, ready to put his plan into action. "Hey Cactus Steven, have some of this!"

But instead of attacking, Steven de-summoned his shield. "I'm sorry I mistreated you." Steven apologized to Cactus Steven. "I know you didn't want to hurt anyone, because you're copying the only role model you got: me."

While Steven apologized, Cactus Steven stopped attacking while the Crystal Gems popped out of the wall at last. "I should've given you the love and kindness you deserved." Steven declared, and then spread out his arms. "Now, you want a hug?"

"Huh?" Cactus Steven muttered quizzically as the real Steven began to hug his massive leg. In response to this act of kindness, one more change began to occur.

"Dudes, look!" Amethyst pointed out that pink flowers were now blooming all over Cactus Steven's body as he returned Steven's hug.

"I'm sorry." Cactus Steven apologized back.

"Okay, come on, big guy." Steven broke the hug, now covered in spikes himself. "Let's get you back to the dome."

"No!" Cactus Steven yelled before he began to walk away from the four he had been fighting moments ago.

"Wait, where are you going?!" Steven exclaimed as he raced after Cactus Steven. "I'll fix up the dome real nice, all for you!"

Cactus Steven gave no words. Instead, he plucked one of the flowers off his body and gave it to Steven before he broke through the front wall and began walking away.

"Uh, Steven?" Pearl called while picking spikes off her body.

"Anything you'd like to say to us?" Garnet asked the boy, who just stared down at the flower in his hands, and let out a heavy sigh.

"I think I've said enough." Steven said wearily.

--

Later that day, Cactus Steven continued its sojourn away from the Crystal Temple and eventually Beach City, now making his way into the woods nearby. And he kept mimicking Steven all the way.

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone, so I copied the only role model I got." Cactus Steven muttered to himself. "But Steven still gave me the love and kindness I deser-"

Before Cactus Steven could finish, he felt something stabbing him straight through the torso. "WHAAAT?!" he yelled before he was cut to pieces by a sword with a black grip & guard bearing a white diamond symbol.

Once she had finished reducing Cactus Steven to chunks of cactus, Black Rutile gazed down at one of the flowers that once adorned her victim's body and heartlessly crushed it beneath her foot without a second thought. She then changed her tune into something more relaxed and less sadistic as she began to round up whatever pieces of Cactus Steven remained and collect them all in a bubble.

One of the Cactus Steven remains turned into a little Steven head that let out a tiny roar, prompting Black Rutile to smile and stroke her chin in deep contemplation.

--

Aw jeepers, it's Black Rutile again! What has she got planned for Cactus Steven? Just another question that'll be answered when this part is reaching it's end. But next time, we get to see Peridot take the stage again as we look into Steven's dreams! Keep an eye out folks.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep 23: Roland Freaks Out for 25 Straight Minutes

Oh man, took a break from the blog for a bit there because I gave myself a project to do that is 160ish color panels to draw by June 30th and um...it takes a while to do that, it turns out. Every time I’m like “wow I actually have enough time to make a buffer for the blog” I get so distracted.

But anyways, I started having some issues with my wacom tablet, my mouse is a nightmare, and so...I’m just gonna look the other way and write a recap and unplug all of the wacom stuff and just stay the hell away from whatever happened to that...tablet.

maybe It’ll be fine tomorrow?

*sweats nervously*

Thank God I didn’t buy a cintique, that’s all I’ll say. 

Anyway, lets go back to Yugioh. Where were we?

That’s right. Mokuba is checking in with my favorite Kaiba, Roland, who is currently just trying to keep the company running while the official Kaibas are flying to California.

And I’ll be honest, as I was typing this I thought “and why are they going to California again?” and it took me like...10 minutes to remember that Seto dropped absolutely everything and jumped on this massive plane in order to beat Rafael at cards to win the title “King of Games” which...Yugi had already lost to Rebecca about 2 years ago prior, but don’t tell that to Seto. Or Rebecca.

Also don’t tell Seto that the “King of Games” title originally comes from being possessed by a very emo ghost that has a tendency to set people on fire with Russian whiskey and has nothing to do with whatever shenanigans went down with Pegasus.

Honestly, I like to think that in the modern version of this show, Pegasus threw the “King of Games” line out there as like a corny joke, and when the teenagers started latching onto it like it was real, he was like “Oh what?” and left it alone because he just got his left eye ripped out of his face and was very distracted by the large amount of cultists in his basement that he suddenly needed to let go.

But youknow it’s the end of the world, Kaiba’s company is being bought out by a competitor, one of Dartz’ assassins are trying to kill both him and his brother, but he has to go to California immediately to play Rafael while he has the chance. Not sure how Alister got the tip-off that Kaiba would be flying back to California so quickly, but knowing the Kaibas, they probably jump on a plane several times a week.

I’m just still baffled that Mokuba’s doing this over a cell phone. That he was like “I better call someone.” and instead of calling the Airline or the Coastguard he’s like “I’ll call Roland💗”

I’m pretty sure Roland saw that phone ringing with Mokuba in the callerID and was like “NO NO NO NO NO”

(read more under the cut)

Luckily for Roland, everyone at Kaiba corp has to learn how to fly planes in order to pass the entry exam.

For reals though, that plane just casually bumped off a mountain like it’s in Diddy Kong Racing.

There’s a lot of levels of brother’s saving brothers in this episode. You have Seto who thinks he’s saving Mokuba, but in fact it is Mokuba saving Seto by keeping this plane afloat. And then in reality, you can take another brother step backward and say it was Roland who was saving Mokuba who was saving Seto by giving the phone to that rando, and take even another step backward and say it was this Random Guy who was saving Roland who was saving Mokuba who was saving Seto.

So in reality, no brothers were really able to save eachother, it was actually that one secretary at the desk who screamed “JUST PULL THE LEVER HARDER, I DUNNO” until it worked.

But just remember that the theme of this episode is brothers saving brothers, although Mokuba is too small to really fly this plane, and Seto is too crazy to stop this duel and Roland is not really the secret inept heir of the Kaiba bloodline, and only in my little headcanon.

And also, I just have no idea who that random secretary is.

Anyways, Alister made this thing happen on the field.

Hey guys?

How many guns do you need on a tank?

Like I...

That is a hilarious amount of guns on this tank.

Like every character designer part of me is dying right now. It’s when you’re learning Maya, and you finally figure out the duplicate tool, and you just--you just strap a billion guns on a spaceship. We’ve all done this.

But like...this gunship has a face, and that face has it’s own tiny Oricalchos.

All I’m saying is that Alister is having a hell of a time in his Maya 101 class he takes at the local community college when he’s not busy working for Kaiba Corp Airlines or busy killing people for Dartz. I want to know what grade he got on this project, because in my Maya classes the only people who were this dedicated were building weird ass warships for their games or building intense 3D My Little Pony fanfic.

Here’s a list I can think of from the top of my head of challenges Seto Kaiba either quit or completely failed outright (basically the times Seto has NOPEd out or been forcibly kicked out):

-Joey Wheeler’s many challenges and also Spanish Class (as mentioned above)

-Beating Yugi in a card game

-Not joining Pegasus’ tourney initially so he could go on a vacation.

-We’ll just assume he’s only taken like a bunch of random college classes but only got an honorary degree

-Chess (like he was a Grand Master at one point but wtv, cards exist now)

-Didn’t arrest the Big Five or remove them from his mmo so they freakin died in there.

-Being the actual owner of the Millennium Rod

-Every time Yami tells him that they should be friends

-That whole story line where he was dating a dragon in a past life

-fulfilling that prophecy of killing Yami in the present timeline to end the world

-attempting to blow up his own battle city tournament before it was over because he didn’t win

-Getting all 3 Godcards

-When a possessed Tristan appeared over a mountain top to duel everyone and Seto just went “I’m out” and simply walked away

-Flying a blimp from point A to point B without it setting on fire

-Getting his Dad to build an amusement park

-Just anything to do with Noah

-the existence of magic in general

-every attempt he’s had to rebrand Kaiba Corp as “funtime games inc I swear we don't make tanks anymore, stop looking at all the tanks”

-Seto Kaiba’s entire Destiny storyline this season that he has gone way out of his way to get away from.

And like I’m sure there’s more, but I feel like half of Kaiba’s MO is that he is either Too Good To Bother With This or he has Lost Everything Very Dramatically. Mokuba at least has the right idea, by being one of the few people who has beaten Yugi Muto by peacing out halfway through the duel and stealing all Yugi’s stuff off of Yugi’s side of the table.

Anyway, despite it being like...5 seconds since we saw Roland in a weird cyber room in what I assume was Japan, we now see him with his head pressed against the glass of this helicopter being like “BOYS NO NOT AGAIN WHY”

And youknow, Roland was just trying to do the right thing, but he accidentally made things a million times worse by just showing up.

And so Alister was like “well I better crash the plane now with this gust of green energy that destroys all mechanical equipment.”

Really not sure how Alister was planning to leave this plane after this duel was over. I don’t know if he thinks that far ahead.

this isn’t even a joke I made up, Roland really did run up to the pilot and was like “Just throw down some ladders! That should work!” and it’s like...Do you not see the giant ship covered in a thousand guns right now, Roland?

And then Alister and Seto decide to have a fight about ethics where they’re both pretty wrong.

I mean it’s not the exact line but yes this is basically what Seto said, point blank, and I was like “well...at least he owns it.”

So cards happen, dragons get played (so MANY dragons) and because we had to end this arc, Alister loses the duel as we kind of knew he would.

And then Mokuba, because he knows no other life, sees an asshole older brother in pain and just wants to adopt him.

Enjoy that trauma tossed onto your already megalith sized trauma pile, Mokuba.

Elsewhere, the legendary dragons have started syncing again, which is a weird thing that they can do that none of these guys have any control of.

Mostly it just irritates whoever is holding these cards at the time.

But behold! the glory!

The glory of three tubby dragons wielding a plane!

It’s what Kaiba always wanted but he had absolutely no idea he was doing it. Will anyone tell him that he managed to summon three dragons to fly him around the sky like a mamma bird? No. No one bothers to tell him that his wildest dreams just came true.

FYI There were other stills of more of the dragons and the plane, but I kept pausing on instances where it kinda looked like they were humping the plane so I gave up.

But, at least we all get to meet up, around the smoke coming out the back of this giant plane that now...will just sit here...until someone sues KaibaCorp over it, I guess.

Like a soccermom, now Roland gets to give the whole frenemy crew a ride with...copters or whatever.

I dont’ know how Roland got here, y’all.

This happens a lot with animated shows, youknow, there’s a lot of plot threads, a lot of scenes and episodes that get freelanced out and outsourced, and people who make these shows aren’t working on the whole thing at once, they’re just going off of director notes--so there’s a good chance they had no idea that Roland...just shouldn’t be here.

But it’s OK, I enjoy whenever Roland is panicking in the background. He’s good set dressing.

Seto does not give any more explanation of this corpse.

And then, sprinting as fast as he could out of his copter comes Roland, who does what Roland does best. It’s this moment where you would usually see a parental figure reveal how much they care and adore their little children. But because it’s Roland, and these are the Kaibas, he instead takes this moment to reveal exactly how inept he is at the very last second.

Never change, Roland. I love this massive green haired disappointment.

Anyway, I’m not sure when I’ll get the next update out, since I’ll be knee deep in drawing art I don’t need to draw, but just know I’m not dead. Usually I post fanart or whatever, but all I have is this Dartz I started drawing but he just has so much hair that I don’t think that one will ever get even remotely finished.

But anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to read these from the start.

[edorazzi]

Well, here we are again! Twitter said yes to a review post for a Miraculous magazine that suddenly showed up in my local area. ‘Tis the season after all, and by that I mean someone bought it for me as a joke birthday gift and I was way too happy about that.

I’ve done previous reviews of the Miraculous Christmas calendar, Easter egg set, superhero fashion dolls and action figures, so let’s dive into the unknown world of merchandising yet again!

(As always, if you enjoy my posts, please consider checking out my Twitter page or supporting me on Patreon for lots of bonus content!)

4 FREE GIFTS! PACKED WITH ACTIVITIES! MEET THE KWAMIS! PRANKS & LOLS! CUT-OUT MEMES! FANGIRL ALERT! NAIL ART! 100% OFFICIAL! I’m overwhelmed! It feels like I’m having a seizure just from the packaging!!! 

I should preface this by saying I haven’t bought a magazine like this in years. Possibly ever. I read things like the Beano, Animals & You and the odd Disney Princess zine when I was a kid but I have no idea what to expect from a free-gift-packed kiddie magazine in 2019. If the outside is anything to go by we’re in for a wild ride.

I’m noticing that it says “Miraculous #20″ on the back. Does this mean I’ve missed 19 previous issues? I’m genuinely a little upset by that. My local area is a complete dry zone for Miraculous so I haven’t had the chance to pick these up.

First step: let’s separate everything out and get a look at these freeeee giftssss. Except they aren’t free, because this magazine was like £3.99. This does seem to be the current trend - it’s kinda rare to see any kids’ zines without the excess packaging crammed with ‘free’ stuff. Is it really too expensive to just produce the magazine? Probably, in this economy.

Chat Noir is revealed on the cover! He was on the back of the plastic jacket, but it’s still nice to see the kids as a front-cover duo. Apparently we’re going to learn to draw Pollen, too, which sounds fun. I’m actually liking the look of the gifts as well, but we’ll get into those in a minute.

This hairbrush............. is adorable. Oh my god. It’s pretty cheap and flimsy but it functions the way it’s supposed to, and the Ladybug design has been taken into account in a better way than “it’s red/black, that counts” (lest we forget the UTTER BULLSHIT of the Christmas calendar, and YES I’m still mad about that). I don’t know how well I expect the outer sticker to last, but if it can take a bit of wear and tear this would be an adorable little travel brush. Nicely done, lads!

These nail stickers? Also adorable. They remind me of the kiddie makeup sets I had when I was little, back in the early 00s when plastic stick-on nails and decals were all the rage. Are they still a thing? That’s nice to know.

There are 13 designs (that I can count) - a Queen Bee mask, Chat Noir pawprint cake, macaron, cupcake, heart-print cookie, Ladybug stud, flower, lightning bolt, love heart, Marinette heart, bee, fox tail and star. The majority are directly related to the show and that makes them feel special. No Carapace though? :(

I’ve put a little Marinette heart on my furthest finger. At the time of typing this up (about a day later) it’s still firmly in place. I haven’t really knocked it around, granted, but it’s not flimsy enough to fall off after five minutes either. It’s also really cute to look at. Guess I’m still a decal-loving 2004 girl at heart......

These stickers though!!! Wow! They’re those holographic and slightly-puffy kind and they feel like pretty good quality, and the designs are so cute! I can’t fault these, they’re absolutely adorable. I immediately want to stick them everywhere.

So I’ve stuck them everywhere. I’m especially proud of the light switch pun. My room looks GREAT.

I saved these “mystery stickers” for last because I’m weak for the thrill of mystery bags, and there wasn’t anything on the packaging to indicate what kind of designs to expect. And OH!!!! OH, IT’S MY BOY!!!! Look at him!!!! 

I made jokes with the Christmas calendar about all the Chat Noir items being stolen ahead of time, but that’s definitely NOT the case with this magazine. I have been SPOILED with the presence of my cat son.

These stickers are similar to the sticker sheet (and the Chillin’ Out design is reprinted), but they’re puffier and non-holographic. I’m deeply allured by the “decorate your phone or tablet” suggestion on the packet, but I’m going to see how the previous stickers withstand the wear-and-tear of my laptop lid before adding any more. If I damage these beautiful Adrien stickers I’ll be devastated.

Those are our free gifts! They’re actually very fun and cute, I’m really happy with them! I guess now it’s time to get into the magazine itself...........

I genuinely almost forgot the magazine was the main part of this package. I figured I was done, but we’ve barely even started! Here’s a splash page of the kwami. Kwami with a capital K? Kwamis? I still feel like it should be singular-lower-case-k-kwami. I’ve never been happy about this “miraculouses” business either.

But is that--

It IS!!!! It’s Nino!!! 

I guess this is the new flavour of Miraculous tie-ins. Now they’ve broadened out to a full team we’re seeing a lot more of Adrien alongside the girls, and Nino is the elusive hero who shows up once in a blue moon. At least this time his name isn’t in the title of the gotdam show.......

Anyway, I can see I’m supposed to draw my “fave Kwami”. Better get to it.

Felix just wants a break. Just one break. But not in this magazine.

Speaking of seeing more of Adrien (and, tragically, less of Nino), this is the kind of splash page I want to see! Both kids are here! The banner themed with Marinette’s signature flowers is a nice touch too; that’s associated with her arts ‘n’ crafts in the show already and it makes sense to apply it to the creative portion of this magazine too.

I LOVE the promotion of Chat Noir nails as something the little girls buying this magazine will definitely want to try. I’d expect them to do Marinette vs Ladybug nails, but instead we get a boyish option! Hell yeah!

I’m a little confused by the Queen Bee masks apparently going on the Chat Noir nails though. I guess they’re friends? Is this secret AdriChlo confirmation? Watch out, Marinette, Kagami’s not the one to be worried about.

SURE WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE SOME TURTLE STICKERS FOR AN ALL-BOYS THEME BUT I GUESS NOT HUH

Next up is a short merch catalogue (why would you put the big bold arrow pointing right to the underoos.....). Would those Chat Noir socks come in my size? Asking for me.

Then there’s......... this page. FANGIRL ALERT. God. It’s like the Ladyblog, if only the Ladyblog ever gave a heck about reporting what Chat Noir’s up to.

THE SPELL WAS BROKEN AND THE FANDOM IMPLODED WITH JOY.

I really have to wonder what age range this is meant for. Do kids know what a “fandom” is? Do little girls consider themselves “fangirls”? I guess most kids have enough internet access to figure it out these days (all the hashtags and LOLs and memes speak volumes), but I can’t imagine being young enough to fit the target range of this magazine while also knowing these terms. I dunno.

(Also, the definition of ‘implosion’ is ‘an instance of something collapsing violently inwards’, so I’m not sure that’s the word they’re looking for. Unless the return to the status quo in Dark Cupid and the continuing stagnation of the love square was enough to make people quit in frustration? Probably.)

I’m filling it in, of course. Because I must.

I gave up on the pre-approved ratings system pretty much right away, but I think this is an accurate rating of my LadyNoir opinions. 

I might be kinda cynical about it here, but I am actually pretty fond of how this magazine sells Ladybug and Chat Noir as a couple. The show’s portraying it as very onesided lately, with Chat pining over Ladybug who has absolutely no interest in him (Glaciator was a TERRIBLE episode and I’m still hurting from it), but reading this zine I’d guess they were already dating. It’s cheesy, but in a nice way.

I have to laugh at “the most amazing thing about this super duo is that they always look out for and protect each other” though. Chat’s usually pretty focused on LB, sure, but there are endless instances of LB using Chat as cannon fodder and just generally abandoning him to get mauled by akuma while she carries out her personal private plan to save the day. Maybe we’re just focusing on the better-written episodes, huh?

Moving ahead. I’ve been dreading this page since reading “Plaggs Pranks & LOLs” on the back of the packaging. I feel hatred in my very bones just looking at it.

I like that there’s ONE instance of the term “ladybird” in the joke column. This is a UK-based magazine and that IS the word we tend to use over here - “ladybug” is an Americanism - but it’s like they’re worried kids could have got to the middle of this magazine about a superhero named Ladybug and then not understand the bug jokes. Maybe whoever was writing this page slipped up?

OH NOOOOO. MARINETTE, NOOOOOOOOOO.

THIS IS WHY FELIX GOT RID OF YOU, PLAGG. THESE ARE ADRIEN’S PROBLEMS NOW.

(mmm whatcha saaaaay)

I mean........... YEAH, I guess, but we absolutely did see Plagg destroy Felix with an entire shelf of heavy books. I guess he’s nicer with Adrien. It’s all fun and games until someone has a nervous breakdown in the library.

I do love the concept of Tikki getting glitter-bombed by Plagg through the mail. She just curiously opens up the little letter which got slipped into Marinette’s purse, and-- WOOSH. One entire wall of Mari’s room is glittery except for a little Tikki-shaped silhouette. 

Next up is a two-page comic which is absolutely adorable! Look at those little chibis! The warm and soft colour palette! This is nicer than most of the official Miraculous comic book art I’ve seen, I hope they keep giving this artist work.

Nino’s here too (and he looks great!), and I like the touch of Marinette and Adrien playing as each other’s superhero characters. Adrien even wins the match, though I guess there’s something to be said about Ladybug beating Chat Noir (again)...... 

It does raise the question yet again of where this tie-in merchandise is coming from! They’ve had action figures, a movie, music video features, now an arcade game... Who’s getting the royalties here? Who’s profiting? Is this how Fu can afford to buy all those rare ingredients for the magic potions?

Over the page we have an activity to Design your Secret Lair! Right away I love the Marinette theme of the page, the soft pink and flowers, and the drawing space looking like a page in a binder with marker tabs and everything.

I have to design my secret lair, of course: 

What do you think? I’m very creative. I’ll need an adult to send in the drawing of my hideout but I think I’ve really got a shot at those unicorn headphones.

Now we’re on to puzzles and character pages. I don’t know what ol’ Gabe is doing trying to meet a 13 year old girl in the dead of night without telling anyone, you’d think if he’s got that much free time on his hands he could be spending it with his son.

I don’t know how those points in Ladybug’s power profile are awarded or what they mean, but you can tell this is a fan magazine. Official sources would have put her at a 10.

Standard House of Villains page! Most of these were good episodes but I’m deeply offended Riposte isn’t on here. Maybe her motives weren’t dramatic and cartoonish enough to be up in the ranks with Glaciator and Gorizilla?

“Cat Noir’s dad is also the evil Hawk Moth”, huh? I mean that’s not WRONG, but is it really something to put in his power profile when Adrien doesn’t even know yet??? Feels like we’re kinda jumping the gun on the poor boy. What if he picks up this magazine?

Apparently he’s one point weaker than Ladybug (seriously???), two points faster, equally as agile, one point less skilled and two points less cool. Despite all those lesses he still comes out at an equal 9, which is a relief! These kids are a team, putting either of them below the other would have been a big no.

I did the colouring page too, naturally. Je suis un artiste.

Now we’ve got a page fresh from the Ladyblog, a Miraculous quiz! Not a lot of excitement, but it’s nice to see Alya getting her own section.

I like that the qualifications of “you could be Ladybug herself!” are knowing what city Marinette lives in and what school she goes to. Well done, Mari! You’re doing your best!!!

TEACHER I AM SO HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I gotta say, I’m not so sure about decorating donuts with fondant. I’ve never tried it so I could be wrong, but it feels like rolled icing instead of frosting(?) would be too heavy for an entire donut. The texture is totally different.

I mean I guess if you’re going to load your kids up on sugar you might as well go all the way. They’re going to look like they’ve eaten something horrible with all that black fondant, but they’ll have fun. Adrien would love these.

WHERE’S NINO. THIS IS JUST UNFAIR. You’ll have four out of five heroes, then a double of Marinette and Tikki? Maybe this just goes to show how little memorable dialogue Carapace has.

Though if “Spots On!” is Marinette’s dialogue and not Ladybug’s, why are the other transformation phrases attributed to Rena Rouge and Queen Bee instead of Alya and Chloé? Surely they could have picked something better for Marinette to justify having her on this list twice instead of Nino.

The next page brings us one of those flowchart quizzes! And ouch, yet again the absence of the other heroes is obvious. I can understand not including Chloé here since she’s technically not a “friendly” character yet, but no Nino? Alya and Marinette are close friends, but Adrien doesn’t really hang out with them without Nino around. Having the three of them together just seems strange.

I do like the little fashion page! They’re all cute and affordable and easy to find on the high street here. I’d love to see how other issues of this magazine are structured; is there a different fashion spot every time? Styles to channel each individual hero would be adorable.

Moving on to a tutorial for a Ladybug notebook! I would have made this, but I didn’t have the time nor a notebook to stick it to.

Between this and the donuts, it seems weird that these designs are based on, like... an actual beetle, eyes and antennae and all. Shouldn’t it be Ladybug’s symbol? These come across more like “fun animals” arts ‘n’ crafts instead of themed after Miraculous specifically. I think if I made this (or decorated the donuts) I’d miss out the head and match the spot pattern to Ladybug’s symbol. 

The hidden message design is adorable though. I can see this being a craft kids are super proud of.

Another activity page! I didn’t have a go at these but they’re pretty standard. It’s cute that the coded message designs are the same as the stickers and nail decals!

Also, apparently Ladybug’s ‘secret’ is “LB mask + heart + CN mask”, which was (somehow) stolen by Volpina. Is that the secret Hawk Moth was talking about earlier in the magazine? Is he blackmailing Ladybug with revealing she has a crush on Chat Noir? How did Volpina ‘steal’ this secret? Is LadyNoir finally reciprocated???? THIS IS A WHOLE EPISODE IN ITSELF, I NEED ANSWERS--

Next page we have an ad for another girly magazine (Quizzes! LOLs! Celebs! Cringes! Puzzles!). I think I’ll pass, no matter how appealing that giant microphone pen is. 

And a “Miraculous Identity” quiz! Tikki’s apparently super fickle with her wielders, three seasons of relentlessly praising Marinette and now she’s telling us we’re the Chosen Ones. You can’t fool me with those big ol’ eyes.

My inner superhero is Marvellous Fox, by the way. Though yet again I’m noticing we don’t have turtle options...................

And on the back cover... the memes. Oh, sweet lord, the memes. They’re hashtag-SoRelatable! And I can cut them out to keep! Oh boy!!!

Is this what kids do when they have limited internet access? Cut fresh memes out of magazines and carry them around? I need to know.

That’s a very sinister Ladybug at the bottom of the page though. What’s-- What’s she going to do to me if I don’t cut out and keep these memes. Ladybug what are you going to do if I d--

Well that brings us to the end of the magazine! And yet again I’m surprised by how much time it takes to just put a bunch of photos together and write about them.

This is a neat little magazine all in all! The ‘free gifts’ are pretty nice, there’s a fair amount of content and the whole thing is pretty cute for young fans of the show. I could see myself buying this again - if it ever shows up on shelves, Miraculous is so scarce around here that I fully expect it to disappear again after this one issue - just for the free junk, but it would be interesting to see how they’d structure different issues too!

I notice we never did get that promised tutorial on how to draw Pollen; the one advertised on the cover. Was the “draw your favourite Kwami” activity supposed to cover that? I’m not sure that really counts.

If you got this far, thanks for joining me on this Miraculous journey! We’ll meet again whenever I get another piece of weird ML merch to cover. Bien joué!

[honestsycrets]

No Thieves Welcome VI: No Case

Author’s Notes | See Hvitserk’s masterlist for the rest.

❛ pairing | hvitserk/reader

❛ word count | 1610

❛ genre | multiseries + bad romance

❛ summary | Reader decides to interrogate Hvitserk. 

❛ warnings | Manipulation, Lying

At lunch, you thought it was a little peculiar that Hvitserk wasn’t blowing up your phone. Primarily because Hvitserk was always blowing up your phone. Since he had gotten your number last year, he had been trying to get you all alone.

Guys get hot when you walk around in miniskirts, you know that right?

Teach me how to do this shit.

Can I talk to you about the dance tomorrow?

Those were some of the few messages you had gotten mistakenly over the last few years. It didn’t occur to you that Hvitserk was so… adamant about having you until you thought of Margrethe’s words as your feet took you down the stairs to the library on the first floor of the old main building. You held the railing as you made your way down through the security measures that made soft little beeps as you walked by.

“Princess!” Hvitserk slides behind you, thrusting his arm over your shoulder. You give an adorable little yip of surprise as he slid on his heels, kissing the top of your head. Shhh! The librarian shrills. Hvitserk flicks his head her way, amused.

“You look fucking delicious in my hoodies, you know that? I never saw a girl wear ‘em better.” He comments, guiding you to a secluded table.

“Not even Margrethe?” You turn up, combing your hands through the high ponytail curled over your shoulder. He reaches to pull your seat out before sitting himself, teasing the powdery pink lock of hair that first called his attention to you.

“Fuck no. She’s too uptight about being fuckable all the time.” Hvitserk chuckles. “Why’d you ask that, huh?”

“It’s just…” Your words fall dryly on your tongue. It’s just that she warned you about him? Or was she trying to take him away from you?

“She going around spitting lies about me?” He asks.

Something in your gut says to say nothing about it. So you don’t, reaching into your bag to pull out your binder for class. You lay out all the important papers while Hvitserk studies your features, scooting his chair closer. His clothed knees hit yours. You know what he’s doing, more so when he looks to where the librarians are. Otherwise occupied with a class of younger students. Hvitserk looks back to you, letting his fingers slip between your thick thighs.

“I fucking love girls that wear miniskirts all the time. You know that right?” He whispers in your ear. You force yourself to pay attention to the articles you had printed out a while ago for this very paper, but his finger grazing your cute panties is distracting! “It’s like they were made to be fucked.”

“Hvitserk they’ll see.” You state.

“What’s with you thinking we’ll be seen all the damn time?” Hvitserk whispers in your ear, eyes glancing up to the pair of librarians running around like chickens in a coop. “They’re busy.”

But your conscience was too.

Something about this isn’t sitting well. You can’t exactly place it… but you wish you could. You turn to Hvitserk, spiraling your fingers along his baby soft chin. He leans into the touch as if for once, you took his breath away. You guide his chin closer, lips almost grazing his slim ones. Then so suddenly, you speak, lips teasing his small moustache.

“You didn’t hurt my Magnus, did you, Hvitserk?”

Not the words he was expecting as you can clearly tell from the way his fingers stop teasing you. He tightens his brow and guides your hand under the table to stroke his cock, hard against the soft material of his joggers. It’s enough time for him to compose an answer.

“Like I’d do that shit.” He snorts. “You’d drop my ass if I beat him up.”

He wasn’t lying. You would drop his ass if he had been the one to assault Magnus. Hvitserk draws back, gliding his hand up from between your legs to your chin. His thumb caresses your lower lip, almost affectionately.

“Tell me you don’t think I did that.” He says. His request is more of a statement. Your hand loosens on his cock, finding yourself unsure. More unsure when he gives you that wild look as if he has something to prove. Of course he had something to prove, you think. You accused him of an assault landing your sweet Magnus in the hospital. It should be someone else… but who else do you know that has an issue with your Magnus?

“No.” You force a smile. “I guess it wasn’t you.”

Hvitserk knocks your legs apart again, massaging your pussy through soiled panties. Then he scoots himself closer, letting you explore his cock through the soft fabric of his trousers. It still… it doesn’t feel right. You want to tell Hvitserk to fess up what he is hiding but his cock under your hand feels all the more right, especially as his hand tenses to massage you through your suspicions.

“Besides, Margrethe is just jealous.” Hvitserk grumbles, leading his other hand back onto the table top as if to mimic looking at one of the many papers that he should have been to ‘help’ you in this paper. You fully know that you will be up late at night working on it, fuming about your so called boyfriend. Err-- fuck buddy. Fuck buddy was good. He should have been too. Except if he came over you would really not be getting anything done!

“Jealous of what?” You ask.

“You.” Maybe that really shouldn’t have felt as good to hear as it did.

It still didn’t sit well with you.

Magnus was a good student. He could care less for being the big, bad Ragnarsson that his half brothers were. You always knew how much he desired to be accepted by his brothers even though he never was. That was the chief reason supplying your refusal to date Hvitserk. If he wouldn’t give Magnus the time of day, you wouldn’t give him it either.

Alfred and Aethelred were in the room with you. Your seat beside Magnus full for once in the past four days. The two brothers had not spoken about your absence but you knew they both had their own opinion on it. Magnus stares down at the tablet on his lap, propped up by its case on his lap.

“Why the hell does he want to make Bong-Soon his wife?” Magnus asks rhetorically, reaching for a steamed bun with barbeque pork stuffed inside. His favourite from a little mom and pop restaurant.

“I dunno, he’s kind of cute though.” You say, flushing. “Why do they always make the villains cute?”

Magnus shrugs. “Hvitserk’s cute.”

“He isn’t a villain, though, is he?” You laugh in response. Magnus loses the little smile on his lips, looking down at his lap. He excused it on a mouth full of steamed bun, swallowing a little forcefully. Your curiosity peaks enough for you to edge onto your seat.

“What?” You say, looking to Alfred, slouching in his seat with his fingers inches in front of his eyes. The brothers all look like they have a secret hidden. Magnus doesn’t have the balls to admit what happened. Nor does Aethelred.

“Magnus?” You reach out, tipping his battered chin up. A few stray tears glide over his high cheekbones over his jawline, marked by stubble from being unable to shave. Your head tips lightly.

“He says your boyfriend jumped him.” Alfred says in full confidence. Your head turns to Alfred, considering what he just said. It… it should have been a shock. The rest of the week you had been thinking about  You look down to your white miniskirt, smoothing over the pleats while Magnus sits saying nothing.

“Magnus, talk to me.” You lean up over the side of the bed. He was supposed to be released back home with Aethelred soon. “You can tell me anything.”

“...I was just high off the pain medication when I said that.” Magnus whispers, using his blond hair as a shield. It’s as good as an admission. You climb onto the bed knowing that the nurses might scream at you if they came in on this exact moment.

“Did Hvitserk jump you?” You ask.

“I dunno.” He responds. Magnus is covering. You know that he is-- and your heart is crumbling in his fear. You lift up his cheek in your palm, stroking your thumb over his bruises. His eyes slip to the side, the tell tale sign that he is lying.

“If… you’re lying for my sake, Magnus, please… I’ll find another man.”

“Who is to say his brother won’t come back if you leave Hvitserk?” Alfred sighs, pushing himself up in his chair. “That is what this whole thing is about. You, right?”

There is no other possible explanation. Tensions between Magnus and his brothers had always been… high. But it's something else completely to know that Hvitserk would really jump his half brother over you. You can’t make sense of it.

“I… don’t understand.” You murmur.

“In any case.” Alfred goes on, flicking his fingers in your direction. “Magnus won’t press charges. He won’t testify. There is no case.”

That doesn’t console you. It all feels like its welling in your frontal lobe like a fist. Magnus clears his throat, looking toward the door. You quickly get the hint that he would prefer it if you weren’t there. You snatch your sweater from the chair and start on your way out with no other words spoken to your best friend of his adoptive brothers. Magnus might not have spoken-- but you know that Margrethe would.

@igetcarriedawaywithyou, @kylobien, @titty-teetee, @breathlessouls, @nejijjeoroo, @bcat1291, @readsalot73, @mslothbrok (no mix), @romanchronicles, @captstefanbrandt, @ailucascen, @michaeliskindahot, @concretewaywardangel, @naaladareia, @cbouvier23, @the-geeky-engineer, @dorned, @lisinfleur, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @tephi101, @akamaiden, @Kirah34, @ethereallysimple, @venusloviing, @happylittlepuppydog, @beyond-the-ashes, @slutforrpg, @hipsternoionlylikeunicorns, @mixedwiththemoon, @sparklemichele, @alicedopey, @lif3snotouttogetyou, @rubyquartzshades, @noregretsandyeteveryregret, @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @deathbyarabbit, @unacceptabletatertots, @beyond-the-ashes (no sig), @babypink224221, @titty-teetee, @ivarandersen, @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @icarus-fell-in-spring, @piebytheocean, @strangunddurm, @atequila, @rekdreams247, @justacrush, @ivarswonderlust, @peachesnpisces, @elenawrit, @equalstrashflavoredtrash, @roxxck, @dylanowhyyien, @ilvebeenabad, @vikingsmania, @huntingbears, @My-Little-Wolfe, @seize-the-droid, @Certifiedpoison, @hotshotstar, @deans–chevy–baby, @moondustmemories, @colourmeinblue, @ilvebeenabad, @squirtleandeeveearethebest, @rubyquartzshades, @queenmissfit, @calaena-banrion, @hallowed-heathen, @Kirah34, @lulura, @looneytunes20033, @Imamom-makingadifference, @sunlightdaniel, @neeadinghugs, @Funmadnessbadassvikings, @mblaqgi, @Natmors, @triumphantreturnofpies, @dmv49, @imavulcanatheart, @attorneyl, @nina2697, @iconicvaleria, @lovelynerdytraveler, @tierneygonzalez, @zabee113, @meganjudee, @nininstinct, @sdcyumyum, @ms-allenbrown, @pancake-blonde, @ivarswickedqueen, @starkiddreamer, @Orange Darko @austenkingmylady, @thisisparadisemylove, @pinkrockstar19, @jeowjungkook, @threewintersoldiers, @end-of-night, @yaminax-kuss-a , @gruffle1, @arses21434@natalie-rdr, @tempt-ress, @Sirena-wesker, @thevikingsheaux, @poisonedjoinery, @smokealone, @chewythecatus, @glopsifum, @laughinglikenialler, @lefrenchfrye, @she-walks-in-the-moonlight, @mybarnesmyhero, @vengefulflange, @imcreepininyourheartbabe, @therealmrshale, @that-goodgirl, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @athroatfullofglass

[tcswritings]

Sleepless.

It’s Spring 2013. Orla can’t sleep because of a late night drawing session. But also because she has things on her mind.

***

4:02 am.

Orla O’Connell lay wide awake on her back and let out a faint but rather dramatic sigh. The room around her was mostly dark, only a bit of moonlight fell through the blinds, creating a striped pattern on the walls. She had counted those stripes for the umpteenth time now, instead of sheep, but there was no use. Sleep was out of question.

‘I should’ve known better.’ Orla thought and rolled her eyes at herself. ‘As if picking up my damn sketchbook late ever ends in a good night’s sleep.’

Mick had already gone to bed around eleven (which was a bummer because Orla had other plans) but it was only Friday - well, Saturday now - and she was about to spend the weekend at his apartment and she was pretty tired herself a few hours earlier after all. The last week had been really exhausting; her current art school projects ate up most of her free time as well as her energy and Mick’s week hadn’t been very enjoyable either, judging from the few bits he had told her during the week. They haven’t had much time for anything else but occasional phone calls and text messages which only added to their overall grumpiness - they had missed each other terribly.

Although both were certainly wiped enough, neither Orla nor Mick wanted to go to bed at seven already so they ordered in some food and just crashed on the couch together, tackling the newest episodes of their current favourite guilty pleasure show and it somehow turned out to be a perfect evening nonetheless and so Orla figured that there wasn’t anything to complain about at all - they had each other back now and there were no regrets, merely two full days to look forward to.

The world was in balance again.

At least until Orla made the mistake of getting out her sketchbook when Mick was just about to go to sleep, “Just for a few minutes, I’ll be with you in a bit!”, and the worst part was that he had warned her as well, “Nah, don’t start drawin’ now. Just don’t. You know what happens when y’do.”, but seeing that it was too late already (and knowing that arguing with her was pointless anyway), he just groaned and rolled his eyes before kissing her goodnight and disappearing into his bedroom. Orla could’ve sworn that he mumbled a rather unflattering remark regarding her state of mind on his way out but she didn’t really care, her latest sketch already had her full attention.

That way she could also finally pay attention to all the thoughts that had been coming to her mind over the week. There were quite a few of them. In fact, there were so many that she was forced to take them to bed with her and here she was - sleep-deprived and caught up in incoherent thoughts.

Orla sighed again. Normally she loved that Mick knew her so well but right now? Not so much. He would get up well rested in a few hours after all, while she wouldn’t feel and function (and look) significantly better than an average lower class zombie. She looked over to her right side. Mick was apparently sound asleep, looking unusually peaceful.

‘Yeah, great. Just play Sleeping Beauty, I get it.’ Orla thought, rather miffed and she looked back to the ceiling, crossing her arms over her chest. The prospect of spending the next few hours like this had no appeal at all to her and Orla couldn’t see any good reason why she should spend her sleepless misery all by herself. She didn’t really want to wake Mick up just like that, though. There had to be things she could do that would make him wake up sooner or later and that she could later pretend to be entirely oblivious about.

Orla bit her lip and after a little while she had an idea. She slid out of bed and stomped into the living room, not bothering at all to be quiet (maybe shutting a door not so quietly would already do the job), digging for her tablet in her bag and when she found it, she hurried back. She flopped on the bed, rustling the bedsheets a little longer than necessary before she crept back under them, arranging the pillows behind her so she could sit up comfortably.

Another expectant glance to the other bedside. Nothing. Not even the slightest movement. ‘Jesus, O’Loughlin, what are you, dead?’

Orla switched the tablet on and turned the volume up. She had already thought of the perfect movie with the perfect opening sequence to watch. It took her a moment to browse through her files, hoping that she hadn’t already deleted Declan’s stuff from the hard drive as planned but she was lucky.

“… aaaand there it is. A New Hope.” she mumbled and double clicked the file. “Do your best, George Lucas.”

Only a few moments later the all too familiar tune blasted from the device, just as Orla expected, and she hummed along for a while, checking every few moments if her sleepy boyfriend would finally deign to wake up and keep her company. The sound wasn’t ridiculously loud, that would be too obvious, but, combined with the light coming from the iPad, it certainly had potential to wake someone up and her method turned out to be quite effective indeed: Mick wrinkled his nose a little and let out a little disgruntled noise of disapproval. After a few moments he reached out, eyes still closed, clumsily groping around in the dark, apparently trying to figure out the source of the noise so he could turn it off.

Success. Orla turned down the volume again quickly. When Mick’s hand landed on her arm, she put her own hand on it.

“What’s up, baby? Oh god, sorry, I didn’t wake you up, did I?” she murmured, not able to supress a smirk that she knew he couldn’t see.

“Mmmmmh…” Mick murmured.

“What was that?” Amused, Orla now put the tablet away and leaned over him, her lips almost brushing his ear.

“Whaddayadoin…”

“I… didn’t mean to wake you. I couldn’t sleep so I thought I could watch a movie, maybe…” Orla replied, stroking his hair and, above all, making sure to sound as innocent as possible.

“Ugh…” Mick now drew his arm back, covering his face with it.

“I’m sorry.” Orla said. “But hey, now that you’re awake, we can watch it together.”

“Why?”

“’Cause watching movies is fun?”

“No. Yah... no. What have I ever done to ya?” He sounded so hilariously dazed that Orla had to laugh.

“You haven’t done anything!”

Mick rolled over now, scooting closer and snuggling up to his girlfriend, putting his arm around her hips and resting his head on her lap. Orla smiled and happily ran her fingers through his hair again. Yep. That was kinda what she had in mind.

“I don’ wanna watch Star Wars. Not ever.” Mick murmured before his gaze eventually fell on the alarm clock on the little bedside table. He raised his head again and blinked in disbelief. “Are ya outta ya mind? It’s almost four fuckin’ thirty!”

“I told you I couldn’t sleep!” Orla cried out.

“Oh my god!” Mick flopped back into Orla’s lap. “I told ya not to pick up that fuckin’ sketchbook!” His voice was muffled.

“Yeah but-”

“Did I tell ya not to draw? Did I?”

“You did. Don’t be dramatic now.”

“I jus’ wanna sleep. It’s 4:30, I got ev’ry right ta be dramatic at 4:30.”

“Ah no, that’s such a waste of energy.”

“What energy, I’m out of energy.”

Orla giggled a little at his remark as he still sounded somewhat dazed. “Hey, weirdo, now that you’re awake…” she lightly patted his head, ”you can entertain me! How’s that?”

“I can hardly keep my eyes open, can’t possibly do that now.” Mick rubbed his eyes with one hand. “Gimme ten minutes.” he added quietly, a few moments later.

“Oh my god, you’re terrible!” Orla laughed. “Wasn’t talking about that. I mean, I dunno. Let’s just talk for a moment? I’ve been thinking a bit lately.”

“‘bout what?”

“I dunno. Things.”

“What things?”

“About us.”

Despite the soft voice that Orla was using, the statement jolted Mick a little further out of his sleepy state. He opened his eyes in the dark again and frowned but Orla couldn’t see that.

“What about us?” he asked quietly.

“I dunno. Nothing in particular. Or, well. There’s something, I guess?”

“So, what is it?”

Orla sighed. “Maybe it sounds silly but... doesn’t it ever feel weird to you that we, y’know, never fight?”

Startled at the unexpected sentiment, Mick let out a little laugh. “Wait, what relationship are you in? We fight all the time! We just did, kinda?”

“Nah, that’s not ‘fighting’, that’s usually foreplay.”

“Fair enough. Still. We do fight. I mean, I’m sure we fight?”

“No, we don’t.” Orla caressed Mick’s upper arm by tracing little circles on it. “Jessie said it. Ever since we became, y’know, this, we’ve been in such harmony. Inseparable. Almost, like, synched.”

There was silence for a few moments. Just when Orla feared that Mick had fallen asleep again, he turned his head to face her and propped himself up a little.

“So... ya want us to shout at each other every day or what?” he asked carefully, still not quite sure why Orla would bring this subject up in the middle of the night. Or, better said, the very early morning hours.

“Of course not.” Orla rolled her eyes. “Don’t be silly now.”

“I mean, we’ve been datin’ for, like, what? Four weeks?”

“Five.”

“Yeah, either way, that’s not exactly what one would call long time commitment, eh? Ya really want us t’ be miserable so soon?”

“I don’t wanna be miserable, silly, I just... I dunno. I feel that real relationships should have more fighting.”

Mick looked at Orla for a few moments, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“... ‘kay, I’ll try my best to piss y’off more often from now on.” he eventually shook his head a little before he laid back down to rest in Orla’s lap again.

“You’re not taking me seriously at all, are you?!” Orla rolled her eyes again and gave Mick a light slap to the back of his head.

“Ow!”

“That can’t possibly have hurt. Like, at all.” she scoffed but began to stroke his hair again, as if to make up for the slap she had just given him.

“My head hurts from yer ‘We should fight more!’ shit. I mean, Orla, c’mon. Who cares what Jessie says?”

“I’ll tell her you said that!”

“Or what anyone else says in that matter.” Mick groaned. “Ya know what I mean. None of our friends is exactly an expert in the field, don’t ya think?”

Again, silence. Mick closed his eyes again, hoping that Orla would eventually let it go so they could get at least a few more hours of rest.

“Are you mad now?” Orla asked after a few moments, grinning, lightly pulling at a strand of his hair.

Okay, so much for ‘rest’, Mick thought to himself.

“C’mon, you wanna fight now? I made you mad, we have to fight now!” Orla insisted and she clearly was no longer tired.

“I’m not mad, you’re just annoying.”

“Aw, now we’re definitely gonna fight, you said a mean thing!”

“I did not-”

“Finally. Our first fight. Prepare for some cliche phrases.”

“Orla, what the hell?” Mick laughed. Screw it. She wants to play, let her play. He was no longer tired anyway.

Orla was relieved when she heard him laugh.

“You never listen to me!” she suddenly cried out, using a tone of mock dispair.

“Oh my god.” Still laughing, Mick rolled over on his back. “Get away from me.”

Orla joined in laughing and she scooted closer, slowly crawling on top of him.

“You never take me seriously either!”

“No, I certainly don’t.”

“You don’t care for me-”

“- ah, c’mon, that’s debatable-”

“- and I always I have to do all the apartment cleaning by myself!” Orla finished her little mock outrage and bent down to Mick, kissing him sweetly.

“You never cleaned my apartment so far.” he murmured against Orla’s lips, placing a hand to the side of her neck and pulling her into another deep kiss. “Hey, ya wanna do that later? I have a new mop!”

“Woah! Sexist much?” Orla gave Mick another light slap to his head, sat up and crossed her arms. She knew he didn’t mean what he had just said but she felt playful.

“Ya don’t need to wear any clothes, by the way.” He put his hands to her hips and squeezed them a little and the somewhat firm touch sent a little shiver down Orla’s spine.

“See? You’re terrible.You deserve to be shouted at.”

Mick looked up at Orla and bit his lower lip, lightly tugging at the hem of her shorts. “Hey... come back down here for a moment.”

Orla did as he asked her to, curious as to what was on his mind. “What is it?”

“Do ya really- I mean, ya really think it’s a bad thing that we don’t actually fight?”

“I was just saying-”

“‘Cause I think that’s a good thing, y’know?” He cupped her face in both of his hands and gave her another kiss. “Call me a softie or anythin’ but I’ve never believed in all those bullshit cliches. That couples have to be miserable and irritated with each other. You don’t want that kind of relationship. I don’t want it.”

Orla pushed a lost strand of hair out of Mick’s face and smiled at him. “No, of course not. It’s just... it’s just all I know. Like, I don’t have a whole lot of reference where there was no fighting involved.”

“Yeah, and how did that work out for ya?”

“It didn’t.” 

Mick played with a strand of Orla’s hair, curling it around his finger and letting it go again. “I can do without the fighting.” he eventually said.

“Chloe and Malachy fight, but they handle it somehow? They’re perfect for each other. So it’s maybe not only a bad thing after all.”

“Aye but Chloe’s a hothead and Malachy is, well, uh... Malachy. We’re not anything like them.”

“You are a hothead.”

“Not really.” Mick shook his head.

“Hey, I’ve known you for much longer than five weeks, okay? You, sir, are a hothead.” Orla insisted.

“I’m not. Not with you.”

“Not with me, no.” Orla smiled. “Still. I don’t think fighting is just bad. I mean, how do they say? Friction causes heat. And heat eventually turns into warmth.”

“Aye, okay, I’m not sayin’ we won’t ever fight but it doesn’t have to be and if we don’t, ya shouldn’t worry ‘bout it.” A thought crossed Mick’s mind and he propped himself up on his elbows. “Wait, what, are y’ bored already? Is that what this is all about? Oh my god!”

“Oh god, no, I’m not bored!” When Mick just kept looking at her with a dumbfounded expression, Orla had to laugh. “I am not. bored., you weirdo. Anything but that, trust me. Actually... “

“What?”

“No. “Orla shook her head. “It’s silly. And sappy.”

“Orla, y’ can’t just start sentences and not finish ‘em.” Mick sighed and laid back down again. “That’s what I do.” he added with a smile.

“Yeah, and you must stop that, by the way, it’s annoying and the ‘It’s cute ‘cause I’m sleeping with you!’ bonus will expire one day.”

“Don’t change the subject. Tell me what ya think.”

“No. Gives you way too much power.” Orla smirked.

“Orla, please.”

“Alright.” she sighed. “It’s so dumb. Don’t take this the wrong way but... I think I’m scared sometimes.”

“Scared? Why that?”

“I mean, aren’t you? We’ve been together for such a short time only and sometimes it freaks me out how much it unsettles me when you’re not around.”

“What do ya mean?”

“Okay, look. Just think of last week. I was literally on the edge of my sanity ‘cause we couldn’t meet up for even five fuckin’ minutes. Apparently I’m that kind of girl now and I hate it.”

“What kind of girl?”

“The kind of girl who needs her stupid boyfriend or otherwise she’ll freak.”

“Oy, watch it.” Mick pinched her side a little but he was smiling.

“Sorry. Got carried away, y’know. Feelings.” Orla smiled right back.

“But seriously, why d’ ya hate that? I feel the same, I was close to murdering my co-workers and once ya got here, my bad mood was like... poof. Gone!”

“Okay, that’s kind of cute... except for the murdering-your-co-workers part. Please don’t do that.” Orla raised an eyebrow.

“Figure of speech. If I killed them, I’d have to do all that work alone.” 

“I’m sure they appreciate your motives for letting them live.”

“This is not about them.” Mick caressed Orla’s cheek with his thumb and she closed her eyes at his gentle touch.

“I know. I dunno. It’s not that I don’t enjoy things as they are. I do. It’s just... what if-”

Reading her thought, Mick just closed his eyes and shook his head. “No. Don’ even think that, I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“‘Cause I am.” Realising how weird he probably sounded and that such a statement based on a simple feeling probably wouldn’t convince her, Mick tried to think of something that would back up what he had just said but he couldn’t think of anything reasonable. He realised that, in a way, Orla was right. He couldn’t be sure. It really was just a feeling, but the feeling was strong enough and for some weird reason Mick had always been better off trusting his guts so far and so he shrugged. “I dunno. I just am.”

It looked like Orla didn’t need any reason as she smiled right down at him. They looked at each other like that for a few more moments and while nothing they had just said made any sense, their little world was still perfect

Eventually Orla pulled back and sat up again, her expression curious.

“So you’re a fortune teller now?” she asked.

“What?”

“Well, apparently you can now predict the future. That’s good, that way I’ll never have to worry about anything anymore, I can just ask you about how things are gonna turn out.”

“Well, if it makes ya happy?”

“Yeah! So, what else can you tell me? Am I going to be rich? Famous?” Orla lowered her voice. “Clearly I’m already drop dead beautiful.” She did an elegant hair flip and smiled down at her boyfriend.

“Aye, y’are.” Mick smiled back and nodded. “Well, I can tell ya that my neighbours will be up very soon.”

“Really? Why would they, it’s barely 5. Is that something you just know as well?”

“Aye.” Mick bit his lip and put on a playful grin. He put his hands back to Orla’s hips, pulling her a little closer. “Ya be screamin’ my name in less than, uhm... let’s say thirty minutes, it’ll wake ‘em up.”

“Aw, I hate you when you’re cocky like that.”

“Nah, ya don’t.”

“Nah, I don’t.” Orla grinned and she let Mick pull her into another kiss - one that didn’t leave too much room for interpretation but a few moments later she sat back up again as she got hit by another thought.

“Hey, so we never really finished that discussion about fighting.” Orla noted, out of breath, her smile wide.

“Oh my god, are ya fuckin’ serious?”

“Just listen to me!”

“Now? No way, I got other stuff on my mind now, come back down here!” Mick used both hands to wave Orla nearer.

“Alright, in a second. Just promise me you’ll at least consider provoking a fight every now and then!”

“God, what? Why?”

“Just three words...” she teased, as she slowly pulled down the straps of her tank top. 

“Huh?”

“Make up sex.”

***

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #154

“the wind is screaming, it’s screaming your name; it sounds like fear.”

What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?  nononononoNONONONO. Last time you puked from drinking?  Never. What books, if any, have made you cry?  Johnny Got His Gun, Old Yeller, The Outsiders (I think; I know the movie did), The Notebook, uhhh others, I'm sure. Does it get annoying when somebody says they’ll call you, but doesn’t?  It depends on the person, but honestly, almost never.  I hate talking on the phone. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor?  Usually vanilla, but sometimes I'm all about chocolate, especially if I can't put chocolate syrup on it. When was the last time you slept on the floor?  Jeez, probably when me and Jason did at my house.  I've slept on an inflatable mattress since, but I'm guessing you mean literally on the floor with blankets and such. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?  I dunno.  I doubt it really, but don't potatoes have all the nutrients you actually need to survive?  If so, then probably that, but otherwise, uh.  I dunno, I'd get tired of things or die 'cuz I'm not getting what I need. I could say shakes, but I consider those drinks. Have you ever given someone oral sex?  Yeah, fucking hated it.  I'm bi, yes, but visually, penises are disgusting to me.  I don't want it in my mouth.  I only ever really did it to make him happy.  I'm open to trying it with a girl, but who knows if I'd like it. What's your favorite lyric from the last song you listened to?  "Hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?" ("Shelter In Place" by Otep) Are you friends with someone that has a baby?  My best friend does. How many different towns/cities have you lived in?  Three. Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity?  No. How many pets do you have? Would you like any more?  Six, and I kinda want another snake to breed with Venus when she's big enough.  I want to keep at least one of the babies to help with Sara's snake breeding passion. Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm?  Oh yeesh, yeah.  I've fallen in love with Powerwolf recently and thus play a number of their songs repeatedly. How many bedrooms does your home have?  Two. How many times do you use a bath towel before washing it?  Once.  Annoys the hell out of Mom but like, I feel like there may be leftover germs I'm getting off + maybe dead skin 'cuz my skin in dry as fuck??? What time do you usually eat dinner?  This can vary from 6:00 to like almost 9:00.  I can't cook and Mom works late, so.  I'll make my own microwavable things if I can't wait for her to make something. Do you know any narcissists?  Jason????? Dillon????? dat u???????? Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious?  I don't believe so? In which were you happiest: elementary, middle, or high school?  Elementary. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid?  Video games. You can bring back one dead pet to life. Which one?  Cali, for Mom.  She misses her so much. Rock, paper, or scissors?  I think I usually do scissors. Who was the last person to ask you out? Girt. What are your favorite pajamas you have? My purple, black, and white Jack Skellington ones ahhh What’s your least favorite ice-cream flavor?  Strawberry is disgusting. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier?  NOOOOO.  This is totally inverted from how it used to be, but I'm more likely to feel down when it's dark. Are there a lot of cookbooks in your house, or just a few? Or maybe none at all?  Mom has tons she never uses. Who are your godparents?  I don't think I have any. Can you touch​ your nose with your tongue?​​  No. What brand is your toothpaste?  Crest. Are you currently broken out?  No. What was the last hotel you stayed at? I dunno. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver?  No. Eyeliner. Yes or no?  If I wear makeup, that's the bare minimum. What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make?  Let Jason go or continue to let what we had ruin my life. Where is the last beach you went to?  Myrtle Beach, NC. Have you ever been rock climbing?  Nah, not interested. Have you ever played Gamecube?  No. What has been the biggest event for you to overcome?  Recovery.  It changed me for the better so much. Do you have a favorite pet?  No one can beat Teddy.  I doubt any pet ever will. When someone drops something do you immediately go and pick it up for them?  If I’m close, unless they're already reaching for it, yes. Could you call your best friend right now and tell them your biggest secret, and trust them to keep it?  HAHAHAHA NO tbh.  I love her, but she tells people everything. Have you ever played Wii Fit?  Yup.  Everyday one summer, lost 40 pounds, got in great shape. Have you ever touched a caterpillar?  Yeah, loved picking up the ordinary ones as a kid. Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch?  I will watch literally any video Mark makes. How often do you feel lonely?  This is like.  Almost a daily struggle. Do you struggle with depression?  I'm diagnosed with it, but it's well-controlled now! While in a relationship, do you ever think about its possible end?  I worry about it BADLY.  Even in my current one where I feel completely secure, I have some spans of "what if" anxiety. What is the worst treatment you’ve had to put up with from someone else?  Ummmm.  I dunno. What’s the longest you’ve gone without eating?  24 hours, probs. Do you like watching music videos?  No.  I just care about the music. Which, if any, drug have you ever abused?  None. Do you know your mail (wo)man?  No. Honestly, are you often high-maintenance/hard to please?  No. Are there any flags flying outside at your home?  No. Will you vote in the next presidential election?  If the remaining candidates don't fucking suck, yes. Tell me about someone that you know dislikes you. What do you think is about you they don’t like?  The one person I know doesn't is my best friend's mom, but I can't tell you exactly why.  There's no telling what Colleen told her after our fight, but.  Colleen has told me her mom thinks I could "hurt" her son somehow.  I was fucking livid.  I adore that boy and would do anything to protect him.  Oh yeah, know she mentioned I was a bad influence, too.  But hey, the hate is mutual, I've never been able to stand her. Tell me about something you’re afraid of. Why does it frighten you?  Getting heartbroken again.  Last time tore me the fuck apart, I seriously don't know if I could do it again.  Worst pain I have ever experienced. Is there someone you could hang out with all the time, without ever getting bored of them?  Sara <3 Have you ever liked someone else when you already had a boyfriend/girlfriend? What happened?  Yup, first high school crush Sebastian.  And nothing really happened; he was taken (though I'm pretty sure he had at least mild feelings for me too), though it was at a complicated point.  Then I met Jason. What mountain ranges have you seen?  The Appalachians. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc that you haven’t been?  THERE'S AN ABANDONED WIZARD OF OZ-THEMED PARK IN THE WEST AND I WANNA VISIT. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg?  No. Where was the most remote location you’ve ever been to? I dunno. What is your most unhealthy habit? Not exercising? Has your house ever been damaged in a storm? A tree fell on our old house during a hurricane.  It didn't cause severe damage or anything, though. What’s the least amount you’ve weighed since reaching your full height? ~118.  Hilarious. Do you think it’s cruel to keep an animal in a cage while you’re away?  Depends on the size of the cage and how long they're staying in there. Are you scared of reptiles?  Not at all. Does death scare you?  Not that much. Do you use a comb or brush?  Comb now that my hair's short. When you were younger, did you ever do that exclamation point that looked like an upside down triangle and had a really big dot?  No. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed?  She's my girlfriend. Are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over?  If I could get over my breakup, I can get over anything. Have you ever turned to smoking or drinking to solve a problem?  New Years of 2017 I actually did try to get drunk for that purpose. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you?  No. What’s on your bedside table? Yeesh, a lot.  A fan, a basket with all my meds in it, sketchbook, notebook, my folder full of things from Holly Hill as well as my therapy homework folder.  There's other miscellaneous stuff too. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?  This is pathetic, but probably like... no amount.  My life sadly revolves around it, just about. What are some things on your holiday wishlist?  Always tattoo money lmao.  But I'd really love a drawing tablet, but a decent quality one.  Can't have both. Who accompanied you to your first concert?  Jason, Mom, and Nicole. What’s the temperature outside?  Phone says 79.  Gonna get to 90, though. Have you ever been in detention?  Yes, too many tardies getting to school. Do you wear black to look skinnier?  Not for that reason, but it's a plus lol. Do you have scars on your wrists?  You can barely see them, but they're there. How about anywhere else?  Yeah, quite a few. Do you post things on Facebook that are personal?  No. Has the last person you kissed ever taken their shirt off in front of you?  Just to change it. Would you ever get in the passenger seat of a car with someone who’s been drinking?  Fuck that. What is a topic you definitely don’t want to talk about with anyone?  How I'm 99% sure I lost my virginity. What is the craziest hairstyle and color you’ve had?  Style, probably what I had before this where I had short hair on most of my left side and it faded to long.  Color, purple. What was your first gaming console?  Original PlayStation. Which fictional villain is your favorite?  Um obviously Darkiplier???????? What’s the last thing you’ve made with your hands?  Hm.  Dunno. Which hair color would you never want to have?  Yellow. Who’s the last person you talked to about sex?  Sara. What is the wallpaper on your phone?  My lock screen is a heavy reminder that I am still straight as fuck for Mark, home screen is my favorite pic of me and Sara. What was the last thing you wrote down?  Stuff at the tattoo/piercing parlor to get my tongue done. What is your least favorite color?  Puke green or olive. What’s the most boring sport to watch?  Golf.  Sara, don't tell your dad I said that.

[soulkiba]

All the prime numbers!

2. what would you name your future kids?- Oh god, I have no idea. I never thought much about getting kids in the first place so I definetely wouldn’t be able to come up with names. Especially since I would probably adopt a kid anyways if I would actually do it someday.3. do you miss anyone?- Not really I guess. I would love to actually hang out more with my friends instead of just like, texting and skyping but thats usually really hard to do.Oh, but I definetely miss my two cats that disappeared about, I think one and a half year ago.5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?- I actually don’t think so. Like, my friends really often make me smile but sometimes I just don’t feel good enough for even that. I guess my Mom often makes me smile though. 7. what was your life like last year?- Pretty awful to be honest. The first half was ok, especially cause I made alot of good friends there but once I got into 11th grade, everything kinda cumbled down. I felt really left alone by my “friends” at school, I was overwhelmed with school in general and didn’t knew what to do with myself and the future so I really got into an somewhat depressive phase and stopped going to school.I’m definetely better now thanks to therapy and such though but last year was probably the hardest one for me so far.11. are you listening to music right now?- I actually was and forgot to turn it on again when I started answering the questions. But right now, I’m listening to Tokyo Demon Dance by E ve and I’m just so addicted to this song and the Music Video.13. how do you feel right now?- Alright, I guess. Tired. A bit anxious. Gotta draw some more Dads and then head to bed.17. opinion on insecurities.- Insecurities definetely are something challenging and something thats hard to deal with but I think it’s something important and just, kinda makes someone the person they are. I dunno, someone without insecurities just wouldn’t seem right to me. 19. have you ever been to New York?- Nope. Not planning to go there either. I dunno, the city seems really boring to me, honestly. Can’t really think of any places there that I would really want to visit, there are way more interesting cities in America.23. fear(s)- Biggest fear is probably the future in general. Or just kinda everything thats like, uncertain or where I’m not sure how it will go. Probably also being judged by others and going to places that I don’t know alone. 29. favourite film(s)- God, I really don’t watch alot of movies, like, I only watched about three movies in the last year. But Moana and The Magnificent Seven were really good.31. 3 random facts- 1. I have a McCree party hat on my desk  2. I have a folder on my PC which is called “eels” and it has 8 pictures of eels in       it  3. I accidently set my drawing of a christmas tree on fire in like, third grade37. favourite actor/actress- Curse you, my non existent movie knowledge. I dunno, I only saw one movie with him but Ethan Hawke is pretty cool. Do Voice Actors count too? Because David Hayter and Matthew Mercer are amazing too.41. relationship status- Single though I hope that will change someday.43. favourite song ever- Just. Too many. Though there are only a few songs that never get old for me but I have the tendency to actually forget them. Daybreak and Frieflies is a wonderful song though. Most of the time, my favourite songs are just the ones I currently listen to alot so Sweet Adeline and Tokyo Demon Dance, which I already mentioned, are some that I can’t get out of my head at the moment.47. turn ons- oh boyDefinetely Facial Hair. Body hair in general to be honest. I don’t really like alot of muscles much. I don’t mind when someone is a bit softer, just makes them more adorable. But like, thats something different right? Like cuteness isn’t really a turn on? I think!? I dunno but I love someone whos considerate, sweet and a dork. Glasses too, sometimes. And I dunno, someone who’s just passionate about the things they like. Like, just a big nerd who loves something alot and could talk about it on and on. Combine that with the rest and thats perfect,So essentially it’s Hugo from Dream Daddy, I’m still really emotional about him ok53. 5 things that make me happy- 1. My friends  2. Fictional Characters that I really like  3. Corgies  4. When people write nice things under my art  5. Cute videos of usually underrated animals59. why i joined tumblr- I was on vacation with my Family about 3 or 4 years ago. We were in Berlin for a week and I found this art livestream of , I think they are called MxBones now but I can’t find their blog anymore. Anyways, that was the first time I learned about graphic tablets and like, fan art in general and it really inspired me to pick up drawing again, and soon after this blog started with some pencil beginner art with a bad phone camera that belongs into the deepest layer of hell. Sorry for any typos!

[bangtaninink]

heir!jimin being a total a-hole to you when you first meet, building a love-hate relationship until you learn he is totally crushing on you and leaves you speechless when he kisses your cheek

Blame It On My Confidence

Summary: the heir of Bangtan Enterprises is a major pain in your ass, and yet, as much as you try to fight it, you can still feel the inevitable happening (heir!au)

“So that’s the guy who’s going to inherit the company when his dad kicks the bucket,” Taehyung says, craning his neck to peer through the blinds of the staff break room to get a glimpse of the man who’s just walked into the office in a suit that could probably be bought with three of your monthly paychecks.

“Yeah. What an asshole,” you say, not looking up from the book in your hands. Beside you, Jungkook lets out a strangled noise, almost spitting out his mouthful of food.

“Oh my god, noona. What if he hears you?” he says, fixing his glasses where they’ve slid down the bridge of his nose as he puts his chopsticks down.

“He’s all the way over there, Jungkook. How’s he gonna hear me?”

“I-I dunno. What if he decides to check out the security camera footage today while he’s checking out the building? He’s gonna fire your ass.”

“Doubt it,” you scoff. “They’d never find another secretary willing to deal with his ungrateful ass. And his dad’s demands on top of that.”

“What’re we all talking about?” Seokjin says as he walks into the break room, dropping himself into the seat beside Taehyung.

“_____ just called Park Jimin an asshole,” Taehyung answers; Seokjin’s eyes grow wide.

“Are you nuts? Why would you say something like that out loud?”

“Hey, I’m just speakin’ the truth,” you say, shutting your book and setting it down on the table in front of you. “He came in here last week asking me to make twenty copies of last quarter’s financial reports for his dad, and when I’m finished printing them out, he tells me he doesn’t need them anymore because he just remembered everyone uses laptops and tablets during meetings. Therefore, asshole.”

The three of them shake their heads with disbelief.

“You have more balls than everyone in this building combined, noona,” Jungkook says, standing up to throw his styrofoam cup in the trash. “The Park family controls almost half the country’s cell phones and you can sit there, calling the next CEO an asshole without even blinking an eye.” You hum quietly in thought.

“Yeah, pretty much.” You smile and pick up your book. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I must return and serve our boss and young master.”

                                                      ▫▫▫

You’re in the middle of typing up an email when the desk phone besides you starts to ring. You take a deep breath, careful to maintain composure, knowing full well the CEO and his son can see you.

“Yes, sir?” you answer, looking over your computer monitor and past the glass walls of your boss’ office with a tight-lipped smile.

“In here for a moment, please,” the CEO says, putting the phone down before you can even answer. You take another deep breath before standing, tucking your chair under your desk before stepping into the CEO’s office.

“What can I do for you, sir?”

“I need you to make copies of this to circulate around the staff,” the CEO says, not even looking up from his desk as he holds out a folder towards you, expecting you to take it without another word. “I’d like these new policies implemented by the end of the week.”

“For each employee or one for each department?” you ask, taking the folder, well aware of the way Jimin doesn’t his eyes off of you from where he’s seated at the other end of the room on the couch.

“Whatever’s easier for you. Also I need you to call Kim and organise a lunch to discuss our business proposal, and an email to Choi to confirm next month’s dinner.”

“Right away, sir.” You’re about to bow and return back to your desk when the CEO speaks up again.

“Oh. And Jimin would like a coffee. Fetch one for him, will you?”

                                                      ▫▫▫

Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you as you pass his desk, your hair slightly disheveled from the wind outside. You shoot him a look, and in an instant he knows not to say a word. You’re quick to shed your coat and scarf at your desk, haphazardly draping them over the back of your chair before combing your fingers through your hair in a weak attempt to tame it before stepping back into the CEO’s office.

“Your coffee, sir,” you say, holding the paper cup out towards Jimin. He takes his time sitting up before taking it from you.

“Cappuccino with one shot of hazelnut and soy milk?” he asks, bringing the cup to his lips.

“Yes, sir.” You turn to the CEO. “Choi has confirmed your dinner next month. You have a table booked on the fifteenth under his name. I can remind you of it when the date draws near. Your lunch with Kim will be next Wednesday on the twenty-second at noon. The usual place.” You take another deep breath, clasping your hands in front of you. “Will that be all, sir?”

“Yes. Thank you.” You bow and turn on your heels to walk out.

“Oh, _____?” You steel yourself at the sound of Jimin’s voice, forcing yourself to turn towards him with a smile.

“Sir?”

“Next time, ask for the Arabica beans. Robusta is far too bitter for my liking.”

                                                      ▫▫▫

You mash your fingers against the buttons of the photocopier, muttering curses under your breath at Jimin. The photocopier whirs as it begins to print out page after page, and you take the convenience of the momentary calm and privacy of the photocopy room to groan quietly with frustration.

The calm does not last for very long, however, when the photocopier begins to beep at you.

“Christ. What now?” you mutter, reading off the error message coming up on the display: a paper jam and an empty ink cartridge. “Great.” You sigh, and step out, making sure to hang the out of order sign on the door.

You walk back to your desk, a few of the employees you pass avoiding your eyes at the look on your face as you angrily pick up your phone and dial a number.

“You’ve got Yoongi,” Yoongi answers.

“Got a paper jam and empty ink cartridges,” you say.

“On my way.”

                                                      ▫▫▫

“What’d you do? Did you punch the photocopier again?” Yoongi asks, crouching down as he opens up the side of the photocopier. “I told you to stop doing that.”

“No, I didn’t punch it,” you reply from where you’re standing in the doorway, arms crossed over your chest as you lean against the wall. “This time.” Yoongi snorts.

“So what did you do?”

“Nothing!”

“Alright, alright. Don’t get your panties in a twist, _____. You seemed snarky enough on the phone. What’s up your butt?” You sigh.

“Jimin’s here again.”

“Ah. The young master returns. The saga continues.”

“Shut up.”

“I wonder why he’s such a dick to you though. His dad seems nice enough.”

“That’s what I’m confused about too. The boss is relatively chill. I mean, he’s straight to the point most of the time, but other than that, he’s a breeze. But Jimin…”

“Maybe he’s trying to get into your pants,” Yoongi suggests.

“Ha!” you cry out, a little too loudly. “Good one, Yoongs.”

“Hey. You never know. He might not know how to approach you properly when you’ve got a frown permanently etched on your face anytime you’re in the same room as him.”

“Well that’s his fault. He was an ass the first time I met him.”

“What’d he do?”

“Made me make twenty copies of a report and then scrapped them all as soon as I was done.”

“Classic,” Yoongi chuckles, pulling out a pile of crumpled up paper from between a pair of rollers, fingers quick to be stained with ink.

“And then just earlier, he made me fetch him a coffee outside of the office, and had the nerve to tell me I didn’t get the right beans.”

“A coffee snob. Why am I not surprised?” You watch as he replaces the cover on the side of the photocopier, standing up and dusting off his hands before turning his attention to the display screen. “But I still think he probably likes you.”

“That’s nuts,” you reply.

“Hey. i would if I was in his position.”

“Yoongi, you’re gay.”

“That’s why I said if I was in his position. I’m not, so… you’re still not my type. No offence.” You laugh and shake your head.

“I’m sure Hoseok will be glad to hear that. Thanks, Yoongs.”

“No problem. Try not to punch the photocopier. Or any of the machines around the office, for that matter.”

                                                      ▫▫▫

The next morning is cold, with a breeze nipping at your cheeks, even when half your face is already buried in your scarf. You’ll be damned if you start the morning without a coffee, knowing that, yet again, Jimin’ll be at the office today. This calls for a double shot.

The cafe is warm, a welcome relief from the terrible weather outside. You reach into your bag for your wallet, joining the end of the queue.

“Good morning. What can I get for you?” the cashier asks.

“Hi, can I grab a Venti double shot latte with one sugar,” you say, already reaching for your coffee card and money.

“Sure. Anything else?”

“That’s a–” You pause and think: you’re already here; should you buy Jimin’s coffee now and save yourself from another trip out of the office, beat him to the punch? The answer is pretty clear to you. “Actually, I’ll grab a Venti soy cappuccino with a shot of hazelnut as well.”

“Sure thing.”

“And could you use the Arabica beans for that cappuccino? I have a very picky boss.”

“I feel that,” the cashier laughs, scanning your coffee card and taking your money. “Won’t be too long.”

                                                     ▫▫▫

You’re one of the first few people in the office by the time you get there, and you take the moment of peace to settle yourself and prepare for the day ahead. As your computer warms up, you pull out a small compact mirror from your handbag, checking on your makeup.

It isn’t long before employees start to pour in, your coffee still piping hot when the floor is filled. The elevator doors open just as you’re getting to work on a pile of paperwork, not batting a lash when the CEO and his son step out and cross the room to enter the office.

“Good morning, sir,” you greet, not taking your eyes away from your computer monitor as you hold out a stack of papers with messages you’ve taken down for the CEO. “You have a meeting today with Kang and his brother at ten, and another meeting with Lee at three.”

“Thank you, _____,” the CEO replies, taking the messages from you with an acknowledging nod. “I’ll be having lunch with my wife and son later, so I’ll trust you to keep an eye on the office until I return.”

“Of course, sir.”

He disappears into his office, but Jimin slows down to lean against your table, a smug look on his face as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“Morning, _____.”

“Good morning,” you reply, briefly glancing over at him before returning your attention to your computer monitor, reaching for your coffee. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“You can start by grabbing me a coffee,” he says, watching you take a sip. Barely disrupting your routine, you reach around to pick up his coffee from behind your computer, setting it down on your desk next to him.

“Arabica bean soy cappuccino with a shot of hazelnut,” you announce, fighting back a grin. Out of the corner of your eye, you watch Jimin straighten up, no longer smirking as he looks back and forth between you and the coffee. “Will that be all, sir?”

“Um… y-yeah. Thank you.”

It isn’t until he’s walked off with his coffee to join his father that you smile to yourself and take another sip.

_____, one; Jimin, zero.

                                                     ▫▫▫

“Bangtan Enterprises. This is _____. How may I help you?”

“_____, it’s me,” Yoongi says.

“Oh, hey. What’s up? Need to order more supplies?” you ask, reaching for a pen and a notepad.

“Nah, not yet. I’ve got some gossip.”

“Oh. And you’re calling me over the work line to tell me? Where someone could overhear us?”

“Hey. What’s life without a bit of thrill? Anyway, I’ve got some details on your young master.” You roll your eyes.

“Not interested, Yoongs.”

“Oh, I think you will be, considering it involves you too.”

“Come on. I’ve got a bunch of reports to write up and file, and emails to write. Can’t this wa–”

“He likes you.” Your sentence goes unfinished as you straighten up, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Come again?” you ask.

“I was right. Park Jimin, heir to Bangtan Enterprises, wants a slice of the _____ cake.”

“Liar. How the hell would you even know something like that?”

“Hoseok told me.”

“How would he know?”

“He’s friends with Namjoon, who happens to be Seokjin’s boyfriend, who happens to be one of Jimin’s best friends.”

“How does Hoseok even end up in that kind of circle?”

“I’ll explain it all to you another day. The point is, I was right. The young master has the hots for his dad’s secretary.”

“You called me just to tell me this?”

“Hell yeah, I did!” he calls out over the phone, a little too loud for your ear to handle. “I wish I said it to your face though. I would’ve loved to see your reaction.” You spin your chair around at the sound of the elevator doors opening, straightening up as you watch the CEO and Jimin step out, returning from their lunch.

“Okay, I’d love to stay and chat, but they’ve just got back from lunch and I gotta get back to work,” you say, cradling the phone with your shoulder as you reach out and pretend to type away.

“Keep me updated. Let me know if he tries to touch your butt or something.”

“That’s sexual harassment, Yoongs.”

“It’s also the most action you would’ve gotten in months if he did so don’t act like you’d hate it if it actually happened.”

“Bye, Yoongi.”

                                                     ▫▫▫

“_____? Could you come in here for a second, please?”

“Of course, sir.” You put down the phone and stand, smoothing out your skirt before stepping into the CEO’s office.

“I need you to accompany Jimin somewhere,” the CEO says, setting his glasses down onto his desk.

“Sir?”

“I have some contracts I need picked up over on the other side of Gangnam. Unfortunately, with my meeting with Lee in about half an hour, I won’t be able to get them myself. I’d like you to go with Jimin just to make sure everything’s in order, seeing as you know the contracts in and out. I mean, you did help me write them up.”

“You… want me to go right now, sir.”

“That’s right. There should be a car waiting for the both of you downstairs.”

Jimin stands from where he’d been sitting on the sofa, fixing his suit jacket and slacks before grinning at you.

“Well. No time like the present. Shall we go?” he asks, tucking his hands in his pockets as he cocks an eyebrow.

“What about my work, sir?” you ask the CEO.

“It won’t take long,” he replies, picking up his glasses again, a silent gesture to indicate that the conversation is coming to a close. “But if it does take longer than expected, you will be compensated, don’t worry.”

You steel yourself, quietly taking a deep breath before bowing and glancing over at Jimin, stepping out of the office to grab your coat and scarf off of the back of your chair. Jimin follows behind you, waiting by your desk as you grab your stuff, watching with a satisfied smile as you get ready without a word of complaint. He’s sure you’re hating all of this, and he doesn’t blame you, considering it had been his idea. Truthfully, he’d been expecting more resistance from you, surprised to find you biting your tongue and holding your words as you follow him to the elevators, ignoring the number of looks the both of you get along the way. He doesn’t miss the way you lock eyes with a few employees – a Kim Taehyung and a Jeon Jungkook, if he remembers correctly – before the silver doors close, a brief shrug of your shoulders the only response they get to their confusion before you’re out of sight.

“You must not get out much, huh,” Jimin says, leaning against the back wall of the elevator.

“Sorry?”

“You must not get out much, if that’s the kind of response you’re getting from everyone watching you get into an elevator.”

“Oh.” You clear your throat quietly, smoothing out the lapels of your coat. “I don’t think it’s me leaving that’s so shocking, sir.”

“Really? Then what is?”

“The fact that I’m leaving with you.” Jimin arches an eyebrow, a gesture you see from his reflection in the elevator doors.

“Is that right?” he says. “And how, may I ask, is that something to be shocked about?”

You meet his eyes in his reflection, and give him a small, somewhat knowing, smile just as the doors start to open.

“No reason.”

                                                    ▫▫▫

Jimin’s jaw tenses as he gets into the car, unbuttoning his suit jacket as he gets comfortable against the leather seat. You follow right behind him, smoothing out your skirt once you’re seated, and unravelling your scarf as the driver starts to pull away from the sidewalk.

The leather portfolio full of papers rests flat on your lap, and you watch as Gangnam passes you, illuminated by the afternoon sun. It’s almost exciting to be out of the office for the corporate equivalent of an errand run, so relaxed you almost forget this all still counts as work.

And then, just as you’re starting to get comfortable, a curt clearing of the throat interrupts the calm.

“So,” Jimin says, fixing the pleats of his slacks. “I understand this is your first job out of college.”

“It is,” you answer, sitting up straighter.

“Five years in the secretarial position… how’s that been?” You turn to face Jimin, eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Fine,” you say, tentatively. “I wouldn’t still be here if I didn’t enjoy it. Sir.” Jimin hums quietly, and turns to look out the window; you stay still.

The quiet is, at the very least, unnerving and uncomfortable. You have no idea what he’s going to say next, or when, and for the duration of the car ride, you’re left on edge, anticipation something you’re not even sure is going to come.

Eventually, the car slows, and comes to a stop in front of a concrete building covered in polished glass windows. The driver lets Jimin out first, then you, and you stand in awe, gaping at the sheer size of the place. Jimin, on the other hand, remains unphased, buttoning up his suit jacket and fixing his sleeves before being led inside. You quickly follow behind, clutching your portfolio close to your chest.

                                                   ▫▫▫

“Hey, Jimin. Hey, _____!”

You’re pleasantly surprised when Hoseok emerges from his office to greet you, the smile on your lips present before you can even stop yourself.

“Hi, hyung,” Jimin says, smiling a little. “Um, I didn’t know you knew _____.”

“Oh, we go way back, don’t we, babe?” You roll your eyes.

“Yeah. Unfortunately,” you reply.

“Come in, come in,” Hoseok says, waving you both into his office.

You sink into the leather chairs across from Hoseok’s desk, watching Jimin do the same.

“The contracts, right?”

“Yep,” you answer, crossing your legs.

“How’s Yoongi?”

“Haven’t seen him today, but I’m going to assume he’s the usual.”

“Ah. Just checking. He might still be a little salty about me making a vegetarian dinner last night.” You scrunch up your nose.

“Yikes.”

“To be fair though, he did say he wanted to start eating better. Detox himself or something. I’m just helping him out.”

“Not sure cutting out meat was the right decision though,” you laugh.

“Probably not, yeah,” Hoseok laughs back.

“I’m sorry,” Jimin interrupts, eyebrows furrowed with either annoyance or confusion. “Who’s Yoongi?”

“My husband, _____’s old college roommate, and Bangtan Enterprises’ oh-so handy maintenance man.” Jimin straightens up, eyes widening slightly.

“Your… husband’s our maintenance man, hyung?”

“I mean, he’s more than qualified to be in similar shoes to you and me, Jimin. But he insisted on staying in his current position. Why he decided to do that is beyond me.”

“Maybe me and him’ll start up our own company to rival the both of yours,” you suggest, chuckling as you pick off bits of lint from your skirt.

“Jesus Christ, please don’t,” Hoseok replies, genuinely dreading the idea. “Don’t even joke about that. I don’t even wanna think about what you two could do to this company, and Jimin’s almost-company.” Jimin scoffs.

“Like a secretary and a maintenance man could take on our companies, hyung,” he says. With a straight face, Hoseok looks right at Jimin.

“Yeah, um… not to freak you out or, y’know, make you look like an idiot or anything, but your dad’s secretary and your maintenance man could be some of the greatest people in this business. _____ and Yoongi both hold Masters in business management and corporate finance, both graduated as valedictorians, and both really don’t need to be working for you and your dad.”

With lips slightly parted, Jimin slowly turns to look at you where you sit, calm as you flip through the pages in your portfolio.

“I wouldn’t be so quick to judge, Jimin-ah.”

You stand and clear your throat, smiling as you set your portfolio down on your seat.

“Excuse me. I’m just gonna go to the bathroom,” you say, bowing slightly in Jimin’s direction before leaving the room.

“Hey, how many copies did you need of the signed contract?” Hoseok asks, flicking through the folders in his filing cabinet.

“You didn’t tell me she had a Masters, hyung,” Jimin says, eyes glued to the door even after you’d already left.

“Hmm? Oh. I thought you already knew that. And the fact that I was married to Yoongi.”

“I feel like a dick.”

“You should. You act like a real big one from what I hear, and in this situation, a big dick ain’t a good thing. I thought you said you like her.”

“I do.”

“Doesn’t seem like it, bro.”

“Well, I just… don’t know how to do it properly. Do you, like, have any advice? How’d you woo your husband?” Hoseok narrows his eyes slightly, deep in thought; all of a sudden, he makes a face and shakes his head.

“No, we shouldn’t go into detail about that. Although, what I can tell you is that we met because of _____.” Jimin sighs, sinking into his chair.

“That’s not very helpful.”

“Look. All you need to do is not be an ass, okay? Don’t be cocky, don’t make any snide comments, don’t flaunt your money or brag about being the sole heir of Bangtan Enterprises. And for God’s sake, don’t make her buy you coffee every morning, dude. That kind of shit doesn’t impress her.”

“Then what does?” Hoseok taps his fingers against the edge of the filing cabinet.

“Wine,” he says eventually, clicking his fingers once.

“Wine?” Jimin repeats, confused.

“Jesus, I don’t know anyone else that knows more about wine than _____. She’s as picky about wine as you are about coffee beans.”

“Hyung, I don’t know shit about wine.”

“Well.” Hoseok casts his eyes to the door, watching as you approach it. “Then I suggest you do a bit of research if you want to have anything to talk about with her.”

                                                  ▫▫▫

“Noona.”

“Yes, Jungkook?” you say, not looking away from your computer monitor, fingers tapping away at your keyboard.

“Uh…”

“Do you have something you need me to scan or file?”

“No…”

“Do you have something I can pretend to scan or file so that you have a reason to be standing at my desk?” Jungkook blinks.

“One sec.” You briefly glance over your monitor to watch him walk back to his desk, fighting back a smile as you watch him pick up the first stack of papers he sees before walking back to your desk. “Here, noona.”

“Thanks.” You make a show of flipping through the pages, reading off words you’ve already read and pretending to review his report thoroughly.

“What’d you do today, noona?” Jungkook asks, playing with your pen holder. “With that Jimin guy, I mean.”

“Went to pay Hoseok a visit, actually.”

“Yoongi hyung’s husband?”

“Mhm.”

“What for?”

“Needed to pick up some contracts for the CEO.” Jungkook hums a little. “Why?”

“What was it like? I mean, what was he like?”

“Actually,” you say, looking up from the pages in your hand. “Not that bad today. Except I think that might’ve just been because Hoseok was there. The car ride back here was… interesting.”

“Interesting how?”

“Well, for one, it’s the quietest I’ve ever seen him. He hardly said a word.”

“He didn’t even annoy you? Didn’t even try?”

“Nope,” you reply, handing back the papers to Jungkook. “Weird, right?”

“Yeah. Really weird.” His gaze shifts to the CEO’s office before looking back at you. “Mmm. I better go. I’ll see you later in the break room, noona.”

“Sure.”

As Jungkook leaves and returns to his cubicle, your desk phone starts to ring. You check the caller ID before answering.

“Yes, sir?”

“A word, please, _____.”

“Of course.” You stand, watching as Jungkook, Taehyung and Seokjin all turn their heads towards you when you do. You walk into the CEO’s office, surprised to see Jimin sitting in a chair beside his father, and not on the sofa. “What can I do for you, sir?”

“I’d like you to accompany my wife, my son, and I at dinner tonight. If you don’t have any existing plans already, that is.” You raise your eyebrows, surprised.

“Sir?”

“Dinner? You do have dinner, don’t you, _____?” he says, chuckling.

“O-of course, sir. I just--”

“Great. We can leave when the day finishes.”

Your mouth opens and shuts dumbly as you fail to find any other words to say. Your eyes dart back and forth between the CEO and his son, the latter not meeting your eyes as he continues to focus on his phone. You settle for bowing and excusing yourself before leaving the room, dropping yourself back into your desk chair, confused as to what had just happened.

(In front, you see Jungkook, Taehyung, and Seokjin peer over their cubicle walls at you, trying to meet your gaze.)

                                                 ▫▫▫

“He did what?” Taehyung asks, grains of rice stuck to the corners of his mouth; you lean over to pick them off.

“He invited me to dinner. With his wife and Jimin,” you answer.

“Just like that?”

“Mhm.”

“Are you gonna go?” Seokjin asks, putting his chopsticks down.

“Do I have a choice? My boss is asking me to go to dinner with his family. I’m not sure I have any valid excuses to give him and reject the invitation.”

“You could tell him you think his son’s a dick,” Jungkook suggests; you snort.

“Hey. If you’re okay with today being the last day you see me in this building, then sure. I’ll tell him that, Jungkook.”

“Oh yeah.”

The door to the break room opens, and to your surprise, Yoongi walks in, unclipping his utility belt and dropping it on the table, sighing tiredly as he falls into the seat next to you.

“Fancy seeing you here, hyung,” Taehyung says, one eyebrow raised.

“Mmm,” Yoongi hums, reaching for your soda can and taking a sip. “That Jimin guy said there was something wrong with the heating in his dad’s office or something. And then I get there, and it’s perfectly fine. What a waste of gas. You’re right, _____. He is a dick.”

“I told you,” you say.

“He called you over to fix something that wasn’t even broken?” Jungkook asks.

“Yeah. And I would’ve left straight away if he didn’t insist on asking me a billion questions. Why’d you tell him about my Masters degree?”

“I didn’t. Hoseok did,” you reply. “We went over to his office a couple hours ago to pick up some contracts. I joked about starting up a company with you, Jimin said that was impossible, and then your husband went and told the young master about our ‘educational background’.”

“Huh.” Yoongi taps his fingers against the metal tab of your soda can, thinking. “That’s probably why he tried to offer me a job.”

“Hey, hyung. Why don’t you wanna work here?” Taehyung asks.

“Studying corporate finance only made me hate it more. Hoseok can take care of all of that. I’m happy being the maintenance man, thanks.” With a quiet groan, Yoongi pushes himself up, picking up his utility belt. “Well. I better get back and lodge a stupid report for the not-broken heating system.”

“Just leave it,” you say, waving your hand. “That just means more unnecessary work for the both of us, and if the young master wants to complain, then he can lodge the report if he wants.” Yoongi nods, taking one more sip from your soda before putting the can back down.

“That guy must really like you.”

There are coughs all around the table as Seokjin, Taehyung and Jungkook try not to choke on their food.

“Wait, what?” Jungkook asks.

“Oh, you didn’t tell them? Hoseok told me that the young master has the hots for Miss Secretary here,” Yoongi says, grinning.

“He does?” Taehyung asks, eyes wide.

“Yup.”

“No way,” you argue. “This might be the first time Hoseok’s got his information wrong, okay?”

“_____. He literally just asked me what you like to eat and if you really are as big of a wine buff as Hoseok makes you out to be. The dude likes you.” You groan and hold your head in your hands.

“Oh. That’s weird as hell,” Seokjin says. “But also means everything kind of makes sense now.”

“Don’t you start as well,” you say, glaring in Seokjin’s direction.

“Hey. Look on the bright side,” Yoongi says. “You’re gonna get a free fancy dinner and get to talk someone else’s ear off about your goddamn fermented grape fetish. Have fun. Me and Seok won’t wait up for you.”

                                                 ▫▫▫

Your eyes scan the restaurant with three parts awe and two parts nervousness, because this is the first time you’ve ever been here, and for some odd reason, there are barely any other occupied tables. It’s almost dead silent, save for the sound of clattering silverware and sizzling coming from the kitchen.

You’re sitting next to Jimin, trying to ignore the fact that the two seats across from you are still vacant. You bring your gaze down to the menu in front of you, pretending to read off the names of dishes you have no way of pronouncing fluently, trying not to grow more anxious by the minute.

You had gotten into the car with Jimin, and only Jimin, who’d said to you that his dad had left in a different car earlier to pick up his mom. His parents, he’d said, would be meeting you both at the restaurant.

A waiter, dressed in a neatly pressed dress shirt and slacks, approaches your table with a smile.

“Good evening,” he greets. “May I interest you both in some wine to start the meal?” To your surprise, Jimin waves his hand, motioning for you to choose without looking up from his menu.

“Um... do... your parents prefer red or white?” you ask Jimin; he shrugs.

“I don’t think they mind, really.”

“Oh. What about you then? Red or white?” Jimin shrugs again.

“Up to you. I’m not the expert here.” You watch his eyes widen suddenly, as if he’s just realised what he’s said, that perhaps he’s given away too much.

“Okay,” you reply, slightly hesitant before you turn back to the waiter. “I think we’ll play it safe and take an Australian Shiraz and a Sauvignon Blanc, preferably French.”

“Right away, ma’am,” the waiter replies, bowing slightly before walking to the bar.

Another quiet falls over the both of you once you’re both alone again, and you turn your attention back to the menu, trying to decipher the foreign words.

“How long have you been interested in wine?” Jimin asks, his voice cutting through the silence so suddenly you almost flinch.

“Oh. Uh, a couple of years now. I studied on exchange in the States for six months during my undergraduate years and went on some wine tour in the Napa Valley while I was there.” Jimin nods slowly, still not taking his eyes away from the menu.

“Any particular reason why wine became so interesting to you?”

“Not really. Maybe because it was a nice break from crunching numbers and analysing market patterns in the stock exchange.”

“Ah.” Out of the corner of your eye, you watch Jimin tap his finger against the edge of the menu as if contemplating something. “Can I ask you another question?”

“Go ahead, sir,” you reply.

(You miss his features flinching at the formality.)

“Was Hoseok hyung telling the truth when he said that you and his husband were more than qualified to take our spots?” You lower your menu back down onto the table, slowly turning to look at Jimin.

“He was, but me and Yoongi don’t like to brag about it or flaunt it around. We’re more than content where we are, sir,” you say.

“You don’t have to be so formal, _____,” Jimin says. “We’re the same age. You don’t need to call me sir all the time. Save it for my dad.”

“Oh.” You turn to look at the still-empty seat in front of you, nodding once just as the waiter approaches your table again with two bottles of wine. “What... how am I supposed to address you then?”

“Jimin’s fine.”

                                                ▫▫▫

You’re almost done with your first glass of wine, and Jimin’s parents still have not shown up.

You let Jimin order, a little impressed at the way the words roll off his tongue as if he’s been speaking Italian his entire life, and it isn’t until you see the waiter start to bring out the first course that you decide to say anything.

“Um... your parents...” you start, hesitant to reach out for your napkin to unfold and place over your lap like Jimin is doing. He pauses.

“Oh yeah. My parents. Hold on, I’ll call them.”

Jimin puts his napkin down and reaches into his suit jacket pocket, pulling out his phone. You reach for your glass of wine just as he dials and brings his phone to his ear, turning away from you politely. He speaks quietly, low enough that you can’t exactly make out what he’s saying. 

The waiter is setting down the first set of plates in front of you and Jimin when he ends the call.

“They’re not coming,” he says, staring down, almost glaring, at his phone.

“What?” you ask, eyes wide.

“It’s my mom. She’s not feeling well. Some allergic reaction to some new face cream or something.”

You stare down at the plate in front of you, eyebrows slightly furrowed with confusion, mind reeling. Beside you, Jimin does the same.

“So... what do we do now?”

                                                ▫▫▫

The dinner continues, and, much to your surprise, it isn’t as horrible as you’d been anticipating.

During the first course and another glass of wine, you’ve unintentionally revealed a good portion of your life outside of work to Jimin: to living with Yoongi and Hoseok; keeping an eye on your baby cousin, Jungkook; and how you came to know the Kim brothers in marketing. It’s interesting to watch Jimin pay so much attention to every word that slips out of you, barely phased by the way the waiters take your empty plates and replace them with the next course.

Isn’t it weird to live with a married couple? Why do you need to keep an eye on Jungkook? Is it true that Seokjin and Taehyung have been asked by the media and publicity department to model for the company?

Sometimes; because he’s a giant man baby; yes.

The pasta is perfectly cooked, but your mind isn’t focused on the food, but on the way Jimin’s head nods every now and again, the corners of his eyes crinkling up at the edges slightly when he laughs at your retelling of the time you’d gone fishing with your uncle and Jungkook back in Busan, and your cousin had, without really thinking, stuck his hand into the water and pulled out a fish with his bare hands.

He pours you another glass, and you do the same when it starts to run low on wine, and as dessert is brought out, you start to gain a little insight as to the kind of person Jimin really is.

You barely need to apply any pressure to your fork to cut through the tiramisu as Jimin lets you know that he’s an only child in a family that almost drowns in financial wealth. The slightly bitter coffee and cocoa flavours are eased by the tart mascarpone on your tongue as he relieves his college days, of requesting to be dropped off two blocks away from campus to avoid the weird looks at his chauffeured transport, and steering clear of branded clothing and accessories to keep suspicions for fellow students at bay.

You’re cleansing the richness of the dessert in your mouth with the sharpness of the wine you sip, finding that Jimin doesn’t really have friends that haven’t been introduced to him because of their bank accounts and societal ranking, that he doesn’t even consider them friends really but more so acquaintances that share nothing but wealth and greed in common.

The both of you have almost finished the entire bottle of red wine when you realise that maybe you had judged the guy too early.

                                                ▫▫▫

By the time the dinner has finished, Jimin has paid the bill and given you the unopened bottle of Sauvignon Blanc to take home.

The both of you are waiting on the sidewalk, waiting as his driver brings the car around to pick the both of you up, your breath coming out in small plumes of white smoke in the chilly evening air. You don’t mean to shiver, or much less for Jimin to notice, but you do, and he does, and pretty soon he’s draped his coat over your shoulders to keep you warm. You protest, albeit weakly because you can’t deny how warm you’re feeling now, but Jimin insists and ignores your pleas for him to take his coat back.

He lets you in first, much to the confusion of his driver who stops walking around the car to open the door for Jimin, instead returning to the driver’s seat.

The drive back to your apartment is quiet again, but not uncomfortable this time around. You watch as the streetlights blur into a colourful mess outside, and, before you know it, the driver is pulling up on the sidewalk right outside your apartment building.

“Well. Thank you for dinner and the wine, s-- Jimin,” you say, pulling his coat off of your shoulders and returning it to him.

“You’re welcome,” he replies, smiling a little. “I apologise on my parents’ behalf for them not showing up.”

“That’s alright. I... surprisingly enough, actually kind of enjoyed it, so...”

The leather seats groan quietly as Jimin leans over the middle seat, gently holding onto your wrist to stop you from leaving immediately before pressing a quick kiss to your cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the office then,” he says, slowly releasing his hold on you. Blinking, you’re speechless for a moment as you turn to look at him.

“Um... right. Y-yeah,” you say, stumbling over your words; Jimin’s smiles a little wider. “Good... night, Jimin.”

“Goodnight, _____.”

                                                ▫▫▫

(”So? How was dinner?” Hoseok asks before you’ve even managed to step in properly.

“Um.”

“Wow. You got the young master to buy you a bottle of wine?” Yoongi says from the sofa. “Impressive. How much is that worth?”

“Couple hundred dollars,” you reply, slightly dazed. “It’s imported, so...”

The both of them raise an eyebrow at you.

“You okay? You seem a little out of it, _____,” Hoseok says, sitting up slightly and bumping Yoongi’s shoulder in the process. You carelessly thrust the bottle of wine into Yoongi’s hands when he reaches out for it, dropping yourself into the adjacent arm chair, not even bothering to take your coat and scarf off, your bag still hanging off your shoulder. “_____?”

“Jimin likes me,” you say, voice so quiet, they almost don’t hear you over the sound coming from the television. But they do, and you watch as their eyes grow wide with realisation.

“What happened?”

“Fucking spill.”)

[inhumanrobot]

Tagged by: @ponkita

What part of pop culture do you wish would just go away?

I am very very uninterested in celebrity culture, even if I approach it from a removed, academic perspective.

What is your favorite salty snack?

I used to love pretzel sticks but nowadays I will sometimes eat tortilla chips.

What song do you love to dance to?

Ok look I listen to a lot of anime stuff (and Kamen Rider Den-O...)

What was your most embarrassing hair style?

I asked a friend to cut my bangs with regular scissors as a freshman in college and it did not look good (not her fault at all, I take full responsibility).

If you could have a drink with someone from history who would it be?

I dunno. Probably one of those things I’ll think of an answer to later.

What is the furthest west you have traveled?

I live on the West coast, so any further West is technically East (except for Hawaii, which I’ve never been to), but I’ve been to Australia and Japan (and more).

What is the funniest thing you have heard a child say?  

I can’t recall at this moment, but the most endearing thing is when my mom’s coworker brought her three little girls over for Rosh Hashana dinner and we all played together. I showed the oldest how to use my drawing tablet and she drew me this picture:

What vegetable do you hate?

Zucchini

Have you ever been mentioned in the newspaper?

Yes, for lots of reasons. I won 3rd place in a drawing contest when I was in 5th grade for a drawing of a vampire I made in 3rd grade. Also, a few years back, I won 2nd place in a juried show and thus was briefly mentioned in the local newspaper. There were probably other things in a similar vein, or as part of a group for being in band, etc.

If you could live in any other country for 2 years where would you go?

The only other country I would love to live in is Canada. I really liked it when I visited.

Do you believe in God?

I never have, even at a young age. I’ve always been more of a cultural Jew.

If you could see 24 hours into the future what would you do with this ability?

Probably hide under my covers and cry. And make phone calls.

What is the worst physical pain you have ever been in?

Toss-up between when I badly sprained my ankle and when I got so horribly sick my senior year of college, I could barely lift myself upright in bed to throw-up in the trashcan right next to it.

In what way are your parents out of date?

They don’t understand the complexities of racism, sexism, gender, etc., but they do try, even if they get defensive. I am very lucky, I feel.

What are you afraid of?

Nuclear war, death camps, death of friends, deportation of friends, everything that’s already happening because of global warming, dying not on my own terms, lots of things.

Do you have faith in the next generation? Why?

Yes, if we make it that far. Anyone can do better than me.

What makes you laugh?

My best friend! And my online friends! And silly memes. Also yesterday my club president randomly texted me a youtube video that was every Seinfeld episode at once and it was so out of the blue.

What exotic pet would you like to have?

I don’t want an exotic pet. Fantasy pet, though? Dragon, hands down.

What are your marketable skills?

Geez. I can communicate well with people. I am very friendly and approachable. I am very level-headed when dealing with coworkers/teammates/etc. My creativity lends to my ability to creatively and satisfactorily solve complex issues that arise in the workplace. Although my writing tends to be dry and straight to the point, I’m pretty good at basic editing, just ask my fanfic buddies. I may be single-minded and have trouble multi-tasking, but it allows me to focus and accomplish my goals with unparalleled diligence.

Who taught you to cook?

Both of parents. My dad for strict safety in dealing with food, and my mom for reckless seasoning and experimentation.

What color underwear are you wearing?

Very plain white and tan. I am very much comfort over frill. Also it’s cheaper to buy in packs. I do like funny patterns, as long as it’s comfy.

What single piece of technology makes your life easier?

My smartphone.

What do you miss from your childhood?

I do not want to go back to being a child.

What do you do to impress someone you are attracted to?

I run and hide and hope they don’t notice me.

Tag:

@katan-a-rama, @tallalexadventures, @belligerentbagel, @cameoappearance, @cheesenuggets101, @ramensquid @harrius, @akusuru @ace-murdock, @trellyollyoxenfree, @kaaramel, @shy-yin, @kaleuh aaand anyone else who wants to (feel free to tag me back as having tagged you). No pressure to do it, though, of course!

[pristinepastel]

5 Things About Me Meme!

Tagged by @awakaru ! This time i’ll tag the last few people in my activity- @robtari , @tavros-tardis , and @boundtoanandroid ! 5 Things You’ll Find In My Bag: -My sketchbooks(two of them. same kind but one is vertical and the other is horizontal) -My art supply box, which is pink and glittery and used to be a makeup box that i got for christmas one year -This probly counts as two things, but my plusle and minun plushies! i also have a plusle keychain. -I have a calligraphy pen w/ multiple nibs that I haven’t used very much yet. I’ll hopefully start using it and improving when i start college this fall! -And finally, my tablet with bluetooth keyboard. No mouse or pen for it but that’s fine for now. One day though… 5 Things You’ll Find in My Bedroom: Too many things;; -I have a book bag that I only use when I travel. When I’m at home though, it holds most of my plushies! Including a pachirisu that lost an ear. Which I. Kiiind of fixed? I tore off a scrap piece of a purple scarf and sewed it over the hole with yarn. Maybe I’ll take a pic later, lollo -I keep a cat cube on my bed near my feet. It’s purple and pink, with a leopard print. The outside is a kind of messy texture, while the inside has a soft carpet on the bottom. The cats don’t normally use it but when they do i try to take pictures! -My favorite blanket! I use it to stim. When I was at high school I’d usually take it with me in my bag, as well as my scarves. It was helpful for taking naps during commons, especially after a bad insomnia bout. Also helpful during my depressive episodes- even if I’d still end up going home early sometimes. -I have various posters put up in my room- including some prints from juicyink on youtube, a kingdom hearts 2 poster i got from when borders was still around, a print of Vincent Valentine that I got in the Artist Alley at colossalcon last year, a print i got from a caricature artist i got on my birthday as well as the caricature he made of me, and some old fashioned prints made on corkbord which kind of remind me of lowbrow fantasy art. I don’t know how old they are, I think my mom got them for me at a flea market? -I also have some old drawings of mine on my walls. I used to have a lot more of my older older pics, but i took them down because I wanted to start fresh. These were from my senior year i think? So far it’s just drawings of Osiria and Dahteste so far lollo -I lastly have my desktop computer! It’s a p big screen. My dad got me a new screen, keyboard, and pc box for my birthday, after I told him I wanted mass effect andromeda once it came out. For the specs he said. He’s very enthusiastic about that sort of thing;; 5 Things I’ve always wanted to do in life: -Become a concept artist/character designer -Write a story/Draw a comic about my characters(sadly my imagination is more abstract and my minds not v suited for concrete scripting lollo) -Somehow meet and help my characters in real life. I know that’s impossible, shoosh -Become a side character in someone else’s story/video game. Not physically of course- I mean I want to play as the sort of character that supports the protagonist and helps them get a good ending. -Become a voice actor! I really enjoy the thought of my voice bringing a character to life. I’ve tried auditioning before, but I’m not very confident in online auditions like that cus my mics not the best;; 5 Things That make me Happy: -Philadelphia roll with smoked salmon, avocado, and cream cheese! My fav sushi yums;; -My cat Molly! her purrs sound like a pigeon or a dove coping and she’s so soft -Comforting and emotional characters!! Like Cole, Sandal, and Dog from Dragon Age, Jaal from me:a, Legion from Mass Effect, Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, Lee from Naruto, Dogmeat from Fallout, etc. -My Mom gives really good hugs and she’s really good at emotional support! She understands what I go through cus she has depression and anxiety too. We even take some of the same prescription! I like her more than Dad cus he gets angry sometimes and I can’t really predict when that happens. He’s not hurting me or anything, he just gets loud and that makes me a lil nervous is all! -Conventions! I’m not really equipped for big social events usually, but these are usually the exception. You don’t really talk to people one on one, and you don’t have to be afraid of being the center of attention. Even buying stuff is easier cus no ones judging you for how much you’re buying or how long you’re at one booth! 5 Things I’m Currently Into: -My mutuals/followers may or may not have noticed the posts about witchcraft ehe;; It started with me researching stuff that one of my brain friends, Elisa, is into. She started out with just general tarot reading, which then developed into her actually being a witch, which led to me discovering i really enjoyed the subject lollo -Dungeons and Dragons podcasts like The Adventure Zone and Godsfall. that is too many capital letters;;; -Modern Girl In Thedas fanfics. I especially enjoy the ones where the protag discovers no one in thedas speaks english. Sometimes people write it so english is qunlaat, but my fav is that the protag has to work at learning common on their own. -I’ve gotten into playing more mobile games again, now that i have a phone that can support them;; I now have Love Live SIF, Fallen London, and the new ver of Kingdom Hearts X(fyi the x is pronounced cross in english- in japan its pronounce chi!) -I’ve been watching doodle videos lately. They’re vids where the artist just doodles random lines and patterns and shapes to fill an entire page. Sometimes there are mandalas too! Sometimes the artist talks quietly and motivationally during it like Bob Ross. if you’re curious one of the artists i’ve been watching recently is called Peter Draws on youtube! 5 Things on My To-Do List: -Finish prepping all the paperwork for starting college. I’ve been accepted, but there’s still financial paperwork to fill out lollo -Make a grimoire/book of shadows/book of mirrors. Atm, all my witchy notes are in my phone. I plan to make a cutesy decoden grimoire once i’m actually in school! -Start doing physical stuff like yoga and walking. School has a public yoga class available, and the campus has a lot of places where i can take breaks if i start feeling light headed due to the scoliosis. I’ve downloaded pokémon go preemptively to help w that -Prepare for june’s various activities! This year i’m not just going to colossalcon- I’m also going to volunteer at a convention in DC! ooo I’m so excited and i wanna pack immediately even tho i know it’s not for a month yet lollo;; my mom is also in this mood - Mmmaybe get a spirit companion? Dunno for sure yet. Not sure if my social anxiety also applies to the ethereal. A bit nervous about the constant-ness of the interaction. Need to research the subject a bit more lollo 5 Things People May Not Know About Me: -I’m really disorganized. So much so that i can’t close my closet door due to the clutter in front of it;;; -Physically speaking, I am only 5'6", I have a lazy eye, and mild scoliosis. My right canine tooth is broken as well.Im kind of self conscious about my teeth so my smiles are usually closed mouth. I also have problems with hygiene, for various reasons- for general cleanliness i just forget to shower sometimes/don’t have the motivation for it. As for the teeth, my sensory issues make it so i very much hate toothpaste. That’s why my teeth are so bad;; speaking of- -I have various mental issues. I have depression and anxiety, which has been clinically diagnosed. My psychiatrist also suspects i have mild autism or aspergers, but the test people never got back to us so heck if we know for sure. My mom, a couple of my friends, as well as me all agree i seem to have it. I also believe i have maladaptive daydreaming. This is a condition that makes it so I have very detailed imaginary worlds in my head- so detailed in fact that I get very attached to the characters in them, who I call brain friends. The daydreams get so detailed and involved that it’s sometimes hard for me to focus on stuff like reading or sleeping. Which exacerbates the insomnia i already have lollo. It’s easier for me to read fanfics than published stuff as a result, cus fanfics are basically written dreams in that sense? i’m also p bad at explaining myself with words lo l l,o;; -Despite most of my posts being happy ones, i tend to have p bad depressive episodes. I try not to vent on here though cus i’m self conscious about how others interpret that. It makes me feel manipulative. I also have trouble with asking my parents for stuff for the same reason;; -I started the positivity tag on election night. I was really shaky and anxious, but all of that was trapped inside and i couldn’t cry, so i just felt stuck there(i now suspect i was disasociating at the time?). I started reblogging all these happy posts to cheer myself up, and thanking all the people who were putting them on my dash. That’s why my positivity tag is ‘thank you’! :^)