Ok ok ok so
I've bought the Zelda Encyclopedia because I am in a hyperfixated rampage about LoZ. And on one hand it's the best thing ever, because special interest is going brrrr.
But ! But.
I've bought in french. Because I... Am french.
And I don't know if the english version has troubles, alright ? But THE FRENCH VERSION IS A BADLY TRANSLATED HELL and I need to rant.
Keep in mind that I didn't study the book. I've skimmed through. And I'm already holding my head in my hands in a dramatic 'losing my mind' posture.
But anyway ! Here's the defendant :
This is the book I'm talking about, and all the pictures that follow come from this book.
Follow me into translation hell !
Note : I actually usually prefer the french translation in Zelda ! They do a good job at translating things that make sense, leaving things as they are when it isn't needed, and I often find the translated characters' names prettier. (Example : Makar, the korok from Wind Waker, is called Dumoria. I have NO IDEA why it changes so much but it sound so much better in my opinion !) So this is not VF hate. This is genuine uncomprehension as to WHY IS THE BOOK LIKE THIS.
Now, you don't need to go far into the book to have a problem with it.
First few pages. Like literally before the actual content of the book. Presentation of the games. Easy enough, right ? Not hard to beta read, RIGHT ?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "THE MINISHIP CAP". WHAT DO YOU MEAN. IT'S NOT LIKE THE TITLE IS WRITTEN ON THE PICTURE ABOVE. How did it happen ?? The name doesn't even change in french, help
"Miniship cap" I already want to quit and it's my INTRODUCTION to this book.
We can divide the mistakes of this book in three categories :
- Lore mistake
- Translation mistake
- Wtf mistakes
I would place "Miniship cap" in the WTF category, for obvious reasons. (HOW???)
The first two categories are easily justified : they asked someone to reread the book and the person wasn't very interested/didn't know Zelda well. But it makes the book LIE
Example of lore mistake :
The title here is " The Ancient Temple, marked by the loftwings".
THE L O F T W I N G S.
This is the ancient temple in Twilight Princess. This is supposed to read OCCAS ! SKYWARD SWORD WASN'T EVEN RELEASED YET !! LOFTWINGS DIDN'T EXIST !
Why did this happen ? Well, in french, Loftwings are called "Célestriers" (mix of the words "céleste", celestial, and "destrier", which is apparently the same in english but I've never seen it before, it's a horse usually or an animal you ride). And Occas ? Are called "Célestiens". People that lives in the sky, basically.
So yeah, Célestriers, Célestiens, I SEE the mistake, ok ?
But still. Uncool. Boo.
Now, example of translation mistake :
The first sentence here is a description of a picture, it reads "Aryll is abducted by Helmaroc King on Ganondorf's orders".
Why isn't this shocking to you, english reader ? Because Helmaroc King is the ENGLISH name of the big bird. In french, there are no "roi Helmaroc" ("roi" means king). It has been translated.
But maybe the book doesn't know, right ? IT'S NOT LIKE THE NAME IS WRITTEN ON THE NEXT PAGE, RIGHT ?
THERE. LE ROI CUIRASSE. THIS IS THE BITCH I KNOW ABOUT. I'M LOSING MY MIND
But again, alright, I guess someone didn't think to translate the name. Some characters's names aren't translated (example : french Skull kid is called... Skull kid. I am thankful for that), so maybe they just didn't THINK to check if there was a translation.
Even though. It was on the next page.
AND I WAS GOING TO LET ROI HELMAROC SLIDE. I WAS.
AND THEN I LOOKED AT THE SAME FUCKING PICTURE I TOOK OF THE BOOK.
First thing I underlined, "Mélodie", is a typo of Medli's name in french, which is "Médolie". I get it, it's an anagram, I've read it Mélodie my whole childhood, OK French Zelda Encyclopedia. OK.
BUT "ÉPÉE MAÎTRESSE" ?? NO.
THE MASTER SWORD IS NOT FUCKING CALLED "ÉPÉE MAÎTRESSE". MAÎTRESSE IS WHAT YOU CALL YOUR TEACHER WHEN SHE'S A WOMAN AND YOU'RE TEN, OK ?
(Actually, "maître" and its feminization "maîtresse" do mean master. But it's. It feels wrong. It's not the in-game name, and it feels wrong.)
THE MASTER SWORD IS "ÉPÉE DE LÉGENDE", OK ? LEGENDARY SWORD. THERE IS NO ÉPÉE MAÎTRESSE.
AT LEAST I HOPE.
Breathing in, breathing out... Ok. A not so important one :
"Les oiseaux" means "the birds", and yes, in english, those cuties are called "little birds" which would be literally "petits oiseaux" in french. (I know, too much vowels, I'm not here to defend my birth language BEAR WITH ME)
But in the VF ? They aren't 'birds'. They are PIOUPS. (Pronounced pyoop, it doesn't mean anything, just mimic the bird's noise)
THEY ARE 'PETITS PIOUPS' ALRIGHT ? AND I LOVE THEM. I'm just. Sad that their name isn't in the book. This is petits pioups erasure.
(After checking, the item they drop is called "plume d'oiseau", so "bird feather". The word "pioup" is just in the description of the item, so... Maybe it's just me. BUT STILL. LET ME CALL THEM PIOUPS IT'S ADORABLE)
And we're not even in my favorite category ! May I introduce :
The what the fuck mistakes
Aka : I can't understand how they let it slide.
Here I want you to read the description of the picture 6.
"Playing the Song of Healing, Link gets his normal appearance back".
Ok, this is probably a description of when Link goes from Deku Scrub back to Hylian, so I am expecting a picture of Link !
Image 6 : WHY IS IT THE CREEPY LINK STATUE.
DID THEY KNOW ABOUT BEN DROWNED ?? WHY IS THE WORST POSSIBLE REPRESENTATION OF LINK IS DESCRIBED WITH "LINK GOES BACK TO NORMAL". NO. NO I AM CALLING MY LAWYER, BOOK, YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME.
You know, in a book, there can be translating errors... And, apparently, there also can be "we forgot to fucking translate" errors.
Plural.
IN THE GODDAMN TITLES.
And I studied graphic design, alright. I know, TRUST ME, I know your eyes can get used to the titles and make you miss 'obvious' mistakes.
BUT THIS IS WHY YOU GET SOMEONE TO RE-READ. This is a fucking official book ! That has been published by probably very official publishers, I don't know, I haven't checked !
POURQUOI LE LIVRE EST NUL ? POURQUOI EST-CE QU'IL Y A AUTANT D'ERREURS ? COMMENT EST-CE QUE "MINISHIP CAP" EST ARRIVÉ ? OÙ SONT LES PETITS PIOUPS ? ENGAGEZ-MOI POUR RELIRE LE LIVRE LA PROCHAINE FOIS C'EST PAS POSSIBLE !!
I at least hope some of you laughed watching me losing my mind in french ; I hit the ten images limit, but I'm sure I'll find enough for a part two. I've lost all faith in this book. I'll read it thoroughly just to scream about it on Tumblr.
[*holding a knife towards the book* I won't let anything slide, you hear me ?]
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