#dumbwitness

[infernaleikon]

anakin growing up believing obi-wan is the prettiest of them all and when he's in the room no one else is prettier, only to discover during his knighthood that he himself is deemed a pretty boy by all. cue pikachu shocked face

omg i am so sorry for the late replay, anon, i've had a hard time getting myself to reply to messages lately 😭

but literally! i think anakin is entirely unaware just how pretty he is himself. he always, without fail, notices when someone fawns over obi-wan and gets all grumpy and huffy and jealous while at the same time being like DUH!!!! obi-wan is the prettiest!!! (and probably gets downright offended when someone's like EH). anakin daydreams about being the gust of wind that moves that lock of hair on obi-wan's forehead. he wants to rub his lips on obi-wan beard, he thinks his eyes are magical and gorgeous and anakin feels both stripped bare and completely safe under that gaze. he wants to run his fingers through the grey on obi-wan's temples because it's so sexy he wants to cry. when obi-wan smiles, he's brigher than the twin suns of tatooine. anakin can never decide whether he wants everyone to acknowledge how beautiful his master is, or hide him away from leering eyes so nobody gets any ideas.

and anakin never notices when someone moons over him. "has anyone ever told you that your eyes are the colour of the scarif sky?" someone asks him once with an appreciative tilt to their eyebrows. anakin frowns and says, "i've never been to scarif." another time somebody compliments his looks, specifically his jedi robes, and anakin scowls like, "they're standard issue." on some diplomatic mission, one of the representatives tells him about what is deemed the most beautiful piece of art on the planet and that anakin looks like he could be a piece of art himself, and anakin is just confused because why would anyone say that?? what does that even mean? does he look stiff??? it doesn't make sense.

people (try to) flirt with him left and right and anakin doesn't notice (mainly because he only has eyes and a (heart) boner for obi-wan). throughout the entire galaxy, beings from all sorts of planets try to court him and he's oblivious to it. he gets grumpy and short-lipped whenever somebody drags him away to show him some garden or sculpture or painting or something, and only lights up as soon as he spots obi-wan again.

cue them being to some fancy ball or festivity during a mission and both obi-wan and anakin are decked out in fine clothes and garments, and as they're walking through the room, people stare and whisper, and anakin is convinced everyone is lusting after obi-wan. and he gets quite annoyed because people keep coming up to him and asking him to dance or get a drink (and he can't say no--or he tries and earns a pointedly raised eyebrow from obi-wan--because they're on a mission and they have to play along and be polite) and keep dragging him away from obi-wan. and he watches how people walk up to his master and chat him up, and he's all bright, beautiful smiles, giving them attention, and it drives anakin nuts.

eventually, obi-wan takes pity on him and asks him to dance before anyone else can swoop in again, and anakin gratefully agrees because that way he can have obi-wan's attention all for himself for a little bit.

obi-wan asks him why he's not enjoying himself. it is a bit surprising considering anakin loves attention, and anakin scowls at him in confusion.

"i don't think i understand what you mean, master," anakin says.

"anakin, all these people have been vying for your attention all night," obi-wan says in a light tone but there's something simmering in his eyes that anakin can't quite name. "they're practically tripping over each other trying to get to you."

"because they want to get you alone," anakin says dumbly.

obi-wan gives him a look, the one that makes anakin flush with embarrassment because it's a bit judgy and a bit mocking and fondly exasperated. "why would they dance with you if they wanted to get me alone?"

and anakin scowls, "it's a distraction technique, obi-wan, we do it plenty of times in battle--"

"oh, anakin, they all want you," obi-wan tells him with a wry smile and a sharp gaze. "they're all trying to take you home, to their beds."

and that just sort of leaves anakin speechless for a minute. "but why?"

obi-wan sighs very deeply. "must you make me say it?"

he sighs again when anakin blinks at him in confusion. "because they think you're beautiful."

anakin makes that pikachu face because he never thought of himself as beautiful or much of anything in terms of looks, really. he never even considered anybody else might find him beautiful but then again, anakin rarely really considers other people (except obi-wan. obi-wan is always on his mind. anakin, 95% of the time when he's not in battle: no thoughts, head empty, only obi-wan). so it does come as a big surprise to him.

and from that moment forward, he starts noticing when people pay close attention to him, when they get close and ask him stuff and try to pry his attention away from obi-wan. it makes him feel very odd and like he wants to squirm away and hide behind obi-wan (or preferably in his arms).

and all he can think about is whether obi-wan thinks he's beautiful too.

[landograndprix]

「Feel the magic ๛ l.n」

part i

✧.* you're going back home, your new teammate is all too excited and his fans aren't afraid to call him out.

✧.* another fic? yeah 😔 I don't know about you guys but I need a good dose of cutesy lando fluff in my life after all the angst I've written so far. reader is older so once again, if that's not your cup of tea, don't drink it 😉 anyway, taglist for this fic is open and I hope you enjoy it as much I I enjoy making it ☺

✧.* next part

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y/nusername posted to their story

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redbullracing

📍 circuit of spa francorchamp

liked by maxverstappen1, y/nusername and 78,652 others

redbullracing brining home another 1-2! 🥇🥈

#f1 #redbullracing #belgiumgp

view all 345 comments

leon187 amazing drive from both drivers!

julieeeexo robbed my girl from p1 like usual

luvy/n for real, she was way faster than max and yet they refused to let her pass..:/

norrizz you might want to treat your 2nd driver a bit better, you should be embarrassed

patrickm there's a reason woman should not be in f1 and y/n showed us why.

norrizz oh shut up you dumbwit, all women on the grid ended up in the top ten today, y/n even got on the podium just say you have a small dick

norry4 their dicks be bigger than the average male fan, ofcourse they're scared

benmorris would've loved to see y/n in p1, fingers crossed for the Dutch gp.

maxmaxmax sir they are in love 🥰

bott_ass they're both in a relationship..

maxmaxmax no offense but that never stopped y/n 💀

bott_ass girl you did not go there 😂

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mclaren

liked by y/nusername, landonorris and 110,672 others

mclaren Bringing the rebel, the birdie and our favorite girl back home 🧡

tagged: y/nusername

view all 563 comments

mclarensnorris back where she belongs 🧡

mclaren where it all started 👏

markklein what a disappointment..

hamilt44n y/n and lando are gonna bring mclaren back to the top, mark my words

norrizz did somebody check up on lando yet? Does he know yet?

clsixteen lando 'I have a crush on y/n' norris losing his mind right now 💀

landonorris sick bro, gotta watch my back from now on

y/nusername if you can get infront of me, yeah..

landonorris fair enough, you should watch your back then

landolando omfg I already love this duo 😭

sharl16 lmfao I never knew I needed this duo in my 😂

mcy/n the queen is coming home 🧡

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y/nusername

liked by landonorris, milouberger and 283,672 others

y/nusername girls girls girls ☀

tagged: milouberger, cecilemoulin

view all 726 comments

f1ladiess seeing the girls do things together outside of f1 is my favorite thing 🥰

charlos16 live laugh love grid sisters

julieeeexo God y'all so hot what the fuck?!

cecilemoulin we should've left milou at the bottom of the ocean but hey, who am I?

milouberger I wish you did.

y/nusername girls, no fighting without me..

cecilemoulin okay mom 🥰

zhou_ey just a little bit jealous..just a little 🤏

landonorris invite?

y/nusername no boys allowed

cecilemoulin put on a dress and you're welcome

norr4slando this is the grid that I adore 😭

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y/nusername posted to their story

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if you want to be removed from a taglist, let me know ☺

feel the magic taglist:

everything taglist: @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @buffysummrsx @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs

lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people

[xcvlil]

JJK With a bimbo!

✧˖°.⁺‧˚ ♡ ˚‧⁺ ✧˖°. MDNI!!!  TW: Suggestive, Petnames, name calling, S3xual Imaging, Degrading. Characters: Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Toji Fushiguro

Gojo:

Gojo was obsessed with you. You were so dumbwitted. Hes read about people like you before, He remembers your type being called a Bimbo. He needed someone next to him to look stupid so whatever he did made him look smart. He didn’t expect yout to be underneath him instead, panting and whimpering like you were a dog. Maybe you were. Maybe you were his little puppy.

“Thats it baby… You be a good mutt and treat me right. You can do that right?”

Nanami:

Nanami never liked people who didn’t use common sense. He always preferred women with brains, but something was different about you. Your micro-mini skirt revealing the slightest bit of your cute laced panties, and the way your white bra stuck out the top of that tank top. He didnt wanna seem like a perv but it was definitely seeming that way. He could do so many things with you and you would just say yes to him. The image of you being pinned to the wall by him had him adjusting his pants every few minutes.

“I know you can take it darling, Its not the first one you’ve had so you’ll be a good girl and take it right?”

Toji:

Toji loved dumb girls. He couldn’t express how bad he wanted to boss them and manipulated them to his own desires. So When he saw you drinking alone at his favorite gambling spot he couldn’t help but talk to you. He could tell you were a dumb bitch by the way you kept accidently “misplacing” your phone whenever you sat it down right in front of you. He wanted to get into your pants so bad. Luckily by the end of the night he had you wrapped right around his fingers. Drooling like a mess.

“How adorable,,, Little girl is getting lost on my fingers… Just you wait …”

[thehollowwriter]

Can we please talk about how tone deaf and horribly ableist a lot of Kalim's fandom characterisation is 😭

Like he's portrayed as a complete incompetent moron, an utterly useless idiot because... he doesn't get good grades or understand schoolwork, he misreads social cues/situations, he's happy all the time, and he can't do certain things by himself.

Wow

Why is it so hard to understand that your that your academic performance or understanding has nothing to do with how smart you are? And neither is your ability to read social situations. I don't even need to get started on not being able to do things yourself because that applies to so many disabilities and disabled people are thought of as stupid or useless or both.

And of course, there's the idea he's an utterly naive dumbwit who can't sense danger or has any worry about it. Have you. Have you not heard of... acting. Or trying to push the fear down. Which I think Kalim does.

He has literally talked about how people have tried to assassinate him. He has literally been poisoned. He has experienced that danger. He is afraid. He doesn't allow anyone but Jamil to make his food. That's a pretty good sign, considering he was, again, poisoned.

Leave Kalim alone please 😭

[luxxid]

୨୧ ・ would you still love me if i was a mitachurl?

┈➤ characters : al haitham, baizhu, diluc, albedo, scaramouche, xiao, dottore, tighnari, kaeya, cyno, itto, ayato, zhongli, venti, heizou.

┈➤ synopsis : y/n is back at it again! whatever will be their answers?

"what?"

·➳ al haitham, baizhu, diluc, albedo

he's confused, if you could say so. well what could he expect from you, your always up to one thing or another. it's not the first time you've asked things like this, first was a hilichurl, second was a slime. and now he has to deal with this. not like he's not enjoyed by your erratic behaviour. he's never quite sure what to make of it, but that's what he loves about you.

"no. ew"

·➳ scaramouche, xiao, dottore.

he's not amused, at all. instead, he's quite serious, his expression solemn and unsmiling, implying that he has other enjoyable stuff to be doing that dating a mitachurl. he firmly believes that his time is precious, and he is investing it wisely by avoiding a potentially 'draining' situation. honestly, he's had enough of these stupid questions. he's thinking about getting you a job or giving you more tasks to cut off the free time you had, certainly only using it to find ridiculous questions like that.

"that won't happen though."

·➳ tighnari, kaeya, cyno.

he was clueless of what peculiar questions he was being posed. he sees no point in being asked the question if it wasn't going to happen. he shrugged his shoulders, feeling amused and confused at the same time. he wondered why he was being asked such peculiar questions if they weren't going to come to fruition with anything. understands the little game your trying, but doesn't want to give you the pleasure of him giving you a proper answer.

"of course i would."

·➳ itto, ayato, zhongli. there is no doubt that this man loves you to the maximum. he loves you no matter what dumbwit questions you ask him, if you would ask him, the only reason he's amused is because of you and your silly questions. he'll always be there to listen and answer, no matter how dumb your question may seem - that's how much he loves you!

"let me think about it."

·➳ venti, heizou

man wants to tease you so bad. if you thought you could tease him, he pulled the ultimate reverse card on you. good luck getting out of this one.

[me-writes-prompts]

-:(Dark) academia rivals to lovers:-

(YESSSSSS!!!! TAG ME IF YOU WRITE ANY OF THESE)

By @me-writes-prompts

"Did you say library? I'm coming." "No, you're not. You're only coming to flirt with the librarian." "You know me so well, darling."

Borrowing the other's favorite pen, but not giving it back because they liked to write with it so much they ended up using all the ink.

One of them plays the piano in the music room alone, the other can't help but pause in their tracks to listen to it.

Taking a stroll to the garden/park at night, and seeing the other one doing the same.

^^"What are you doing here?" "Reading." "How are you reading? It's so dark." "Exactly. I'm walking as you are."

"Give me back my notes." "Sorry, I turned them in as my assignment."

They end up being partners for a project/or end up in a study session together.

"I absolutely cannot tolerate your presence." "No one asked you to. By the way, your blazer has a stain on the back."

"Are you okay? That must've hurt." "And, why do you of all people care?"

"Idiot." "Git." "Dumbass." "Dumbwit."

^^Their professor finally loses their calm and shouts at them to shut up.

Locking eyes across a classroom and knowing exactly what the other is thinking.

Skipping classes individually but ending up choosing the same place to go to.

Writing poems for each other, and leaving them in the other’s books. (This may or may not be inspired from “dead poets society” :))

[baesiv]

riize ot6 a are fucking miserable and dumbwitted as fuck…GO GET A FUCKING LIFE

[pea-bois]

To be fair us modding the cars caused a whole ruckus among some groups.

I don't know why Megalo Don is such a big deal he's just a sad old man

- meowskulls☠️

Kittycat, the last exciting thing to happen to the island was me.

I heard the gods were total flops so of course the loopers are going to latch onto the new "big dog".

And that teacup poodle is going to fall like the rest of them. <3

[barbatusart]

AAND it also gives vellioth that dramatic irony enjoyment of everybody being like wow so kind of u to take that dumbwitted son under ur wing. and hes like yeah its a burden but i wouldnt have it any other way. and then he stares in the camera like hes in the office. is this anything idk im going insane this dynamic is living rent free in my brain

oh fuck im actually getting into this exact concept in the next couple of pages lmao like oh yes i house & care for my late master’s goofyass boy im soooooooooooooooo magnanimoussssss (huge shotgun fart noise)

[heartspower]

"so i think you're my partner for this project," she says, sitting down next to Abigail as the professor lets them split up into pairs. "you were absent that day and so was i so---professor dumbwits decided to pair us up for missing class. it's Abigail, right? i'm Malia." Malia smiles warmly at Abigail, crossing her arms across her desk. she ignores the whispers around them---she's never cared too much about what other people think.

@demisereborn liked for something small | for Abigail ♡

[lovebvni]

Shifting is not real you dumbwit

ok mamas 🤷🤷

to anyone else reading this, don’t give a shit abt what anti shifters say. they’re the doubts talking. 💯💯💯

[merlinssassybeard]

i’ve just stumbled across your ex gojo fic (it’s so amazing btw the frustration and angst ugh) and i’m so sorry that some people are harassing you for getting themselves triggered due to THEIR OWN ACTIONS (tws and cws are there for a fucking reason) it’s reeks of entitlement and selfishness and far too many people do this kinda shit on this app

I'm glad you enjoyed my fic! (Updates will be dropping soon btw!)

Some people are going to be dumbwits and its their choice. Also i have started blocking any negative asks i receive. So yea problem solved! Lol

[depressedraisin]

ok brethren rant incoming

so ytd i was at this paper presentation competition with my very mediocre paper (the sole reason to that was bcs i am not a banking public finance girlie i never will be) but that's not the story. the story is that i met this dude from a year above me and he's from this very presitigious old traditionally left leaning and social sciences focusing college and i thought ha he might be interesting lemme chat him up. now usually i am decapacitated by social anxiety at events like these but i thought no girl you can't let your demons get the better of you and stare at him for the rest of the event, go talk to him maybe you could get a friendship out of this. i CANNOT tell you just HOW MUCH it took for me too even get up and go say hi. but i did, and i was so proud of myself. he was since enough and we started chatting.

and then.

then, Dude turned out to be a Finance Bro. not just any Finance Bro but an elon musk stanning borderline fascist bullshit spouting "there is nothing wrong with exploiting power if you have it" "why should the rich pay for the poor" Finance Bro.

*loooooooooooong sigh*

spent like 3 hours econ-mansplaining how capitalism is a meritrocracy to me. which was yeah okay im used to hearing bullshit like that i just silently rolled my eyes but then. BUT THEN. man said TO MY FACE "what's there to research in economic history 🥴" when i told him abt my future plans. FUCK HIM. HOW DARE YOU.

yk mama raised a polite girl who is slightly terrified of confrontation or else Dude would've been shredded to pieces.

like fucking nincompoop do you think you dropped on earth outta nowhere do you think scholars who spend years and years studying and trying to understand how our current economic situations have evolved from those in the past are idiots.

im so amused by Finance Bros' complete and absolute inability to wrap their teeny lil heads around the fact that you can study for personal satisfaction. yeah my good sir it is, in fact, possible that someone dedicates their life to the study of something just because they like it and they think it's interesting. only things that bring you lotsa cash aren't the only ones that hold value in life- wow surprise.

like yeah i had the grades to go for stem i still have the grades to go for a cushy corporate job and just count banknotes for the rest of my life but NO im not gonna do that bcs i have this one life and thank god i have the priviledge to dedicate it to pursuing academics long term in a field that interests me so im gonna do that. he was like "if you were confident enough in taking maths and economics then might as well have gone for STEM" NO DUMBWIT. i DID NOT have the interest. it's really just that simple. and yes i can love maths and be interested in history its not that hard. economics is not an isolated science it is literally ABOUT SOCIETY its a social sciene you cannot cut it off from politics or history or sociology. fucking idiot

so yeah. im so annoyed. day ruined totally.

im going back to chatting up only women. cishet men are trash

[frostbite-yinny]

im eating torchic nuggets and my torchic is looking at me

what do i do

Facking kys ya dumbwit eating facking torchic nuggets in front of yer fuxking torchic ass bitch fucking trying to-

-Liepard

Please stop now! Miss!

-Gengar

[elxgantcaptain]

♡♡

For every "♡" I get I'll give a tip on how to win my muse's heart. [accepting]

Compliment his appearance! He always enjoys soaking up some compliments like that (he CAN be a little self conscious without his lovely clothes with his scars and all)

Be able to hold a relatively intellectual conversation with him, he's been stuck on an island with dumbwits and children for years, having someone with more intelligence to speak with would be amazing.

[kyougokazumi]

Great comic.

This is not how linguistics works.

People who tell you you're using the word wrong because of its "origins" can go learn old Celtic and just talk to each other. ALL words used to mean something different at some stage, but this is especially prevalent with anything to do with emotions or strengthening/accentuating the meaning of other words. "Very" used to mean "real" or "genuine", but you don't see them complaining about it, because it was long enough ago that it's natural for us now. The changes you hear complained about now are just the ones recent enough *and talked about enough* that they're aware of them.

Also, fun fact, most language change starts with young girls and marginalized populations, so there's a reason the Venn diagram of people complaining about language change and racist misogynistic privileged assholes is an almost perfect circle.

Language changes, meanings change, and if most people are using "literally" as an intensifier, then that's what it means now, you dumbwit.