#dumb thoughts with kase :)

[waterisasoup]

are we feelin karma by taylor swift or karma by ajr tonight y’all

[bicth-and-in-that-order]

Rambling thoughts of various Yuri manga I’ve read

1. Kase-San and Yamada (Morning Glories sequel series) by Hiromi Takashima

notice how Kase’s name is first, which is representative of her being the main one to cause problems in their relationship

If you asked me what my favorite yuri manga was like 2-3 years ago, I’d say Morning Glories and Kase San everytime. Every avid yuri fan has either read or watched Morning Glories because, at the time in 2010, it was groundbreaking, and I stand by the fact that the original series still holds up to this day. It was cute, sweet, wholesome and only had a few obligatory “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” moments. Most of all it wasn’t a pseudo-incest-straight-male-porn-pandering-garbage-fest—also known as “Citrus”. Was it cliche at times? Yes, but they all are lol. Did they add to the dumb ass “blonde femme and dark hair masc” trope? Also yes. But it was adorable and it was my first ever yuri so it holds a special place in my heart.

And it SEEMED like it was only going to get better in Kase San and Yamada, the sequel. The girls would be heading to college and the story could theoretically focus on more mature topics while they navigate their new relationship. Keyword: theoretically. Unfortunately, instead of exploring interesting relationship dynamics and storylines, the plot of each story arc boils down to: Kase is insecure because a man breathed next to Yamada or Kase is being completely insensitive to Yamada’s feelings…again…—> ✨miscommunication drama ✨—>big over dramatic apology scene—>boring makeup sex or other romantic gesture.

Literally that’s how every single plotline goes. Kase is so goddamn dumb and insensitive to Yamada’s feelings and Yamada’s a complete doormat who can only stay mad for 0.2 seconds before getting pussy whipped like a spineless ass bitch. And for all that Yamada sacrifices for Kase; her hometown, her dreams, her apartment, what does she get in return from Kase? Oh that’s right; bare minimum romantic gestures and a neglectful partner who can’t even call her “girlfriend” in front of others:

Like I thought we were over this shit. It’s been THREE years of them together, a whole anime production, and god knows how many irl years and we’re going back to “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” WHY???

And then Kase later goes onto bet her entire three year relationship over the ugly bitch in the next panel, so now I’m questioning whether or not Kase even loves Yamada with the amount of bullshit she’s put her through. Which COULD be an interesting plot point, but Kase never gets any consequences for her actions and the creator genuinely thinks this is romantic and full of tension so I’m 10000% positive that this arc, just like all the others, will end with some makeup sex and we’ll be right back to step 1. Sigh.

2. Tamen De Gushi by Tan Jiu

Tamen De Gushi’s problems are interesting but it’s NOT because of the Chinese government💀

So today’s dark haired masc and blonde femme of the day are Sun Jing and Qiu Tong, respectively. Their personalities aren’t anything to write home about, if you read ANY high school yuri romance, then you know exactly what happens in this story beat for beat. But, BUT, however derivative it is, I find their dynamic very endearing and down to earth. Idk maybe it’s just the translation, but other yuri stories often have this very inauthentic “anime” vibe to it. Which is to say the characters act very cutesy, overly dramatic, and have this stilted, caricature-esque acting of how the creator thinks teenage girls are supposed act.

However, I’m happy to report that Tamen De Gushi is a breath of fresh air in this regard. The characters and interactions they have are grounded and feel organic, which makes them feel like real people, not aliens pretending to be human. This really elevates the humor in turn, oh did I mention that Tamen De Gushi is super funny? Because Tamen De Gushi is super funny, here’s one of my favorite panels and it’s all because of Sun Jing’s goofy ahh expression:

Like go girl give us nothing

If you’re wondering why I haven’t spoke much about the actual romantic relationship between the girls, that’s because there isn’t one💀 Which, okay, that’s not a fair assessment, they have a ton of romantic tension and they flirt a lot. It’s certainly building to a great romantic relationship, but it can’t quite get there due to legal/political reasons sadly. 😔

Edit: I received new information in regards to what happened to Tamen De Gushi. While I reached my limit for posting pictures, I want to point out that the Chinese government had nothing to do with Tamen De Gushi getting censored, rather it was a dispute between the author and the publishing company. The prior information I received was false and I prob should’ve looked it up more so sorrrry. The fact still remains though that after their big lesbian kiss towards the middle of the story and maybe a few other moments, that’s just kind of it. You’re stuck waiting for something to develop, but nothing really happens. The comic very quickly becomes a collection of slice of life segments and cute pictures that imply a relationship between the girls, but not really ;) ;).  Now things are just kind of left in purgatory for the foreseeable future and, well, that’s Tamen De Gushi y’all.

Compared to Kase San and Yamada, the characters were much better, which is not saying much, but without an actual romantic storyline, there’s just not a lot for me to comment on to be honest. It’s really pretty though, look at this art :

3. Beauty and the Beast Girl by Neji

my personal favorite and the BEST yuri I ever read

So next on the list is Beauty and the Beast Girl (I’m going to abbreviate to BatBG from here on) , which I already spoiled my feelings on the matter so this will basically be me gushing about this story for several paragraphs straight, enjoy.

Contrary to what the title suggests, it really has nothing to do with Beauty and the Beast’s story except in name. The main girls are Lily Blind, who is actually fucking blind 💀 and Heath the monster girl. Already I’m happy because instead of blonde femme and dark hair butch, it’s blonde femme and of-course-you-have-purple-hair-and-pronouns masc. Lol, all jokes aside, Lily, unlike her blonde femme counterparts is quite assertive and voices her opinions all the time. In fact, she’s the one who pushes Heath to be more open and communicate with her rather than the other way around. This is, in part, due to the story BatBG is trying to tell. I say BatBG is in name only to Beauty and the Beast because Lily isn’t trying to find the “beauty” within Heath or learning to love a beast or whatever, she’s fine just the way she is and her love for Heath is unconditional. Plus the only thing beastly about Heath is her appearance…which I’ll harp on later, but her behavior is in no way different from a regular human except in very rare, specific moments.

At its heart, BatBG is a story about forgiveness (the creator literally says as much) , but it’s also about the cycle of violence that results from being outcasted and deprived of love. BatBG is set in a world of humans and monsters, where the monsters are outcasted and either have to stay away from human society like Heath or assimilate themselves by hiding away their monster like traits, which is a really queer narrative on top of an already queer story. I don’t want to go into too much spoilers, but sometime before the beginning of the story, Heath in-directly hurts Lily before they ever meet. However, it’s not about Lily needing to forgive Heath, or trying to get over the pain she inflicted upon her, rather its Heath learning to forgive herself and in effect, learning to love herself as much as Lily loves her.

Another big aspect of BatBG is disabilities, Lily Blind is in fact Blind lol and while there are times she struggles with her blindness, she never views her disability as something she needs to be ashamed of and never, ever, blames Heath for it or holds it against her unlike what many, many, many, many other stories end up doing. Her blindness isn’t treated like a super power either, it’s a legitimate disability. She just accepts that it’s a part of her and goes onto say that if not for her blindness, she would’ve never met the love of her life, which I found to be an incredibly profound thing to say.

Now that I’ve gotten this far, I suppose I can add a bit of a disclaimer. So BatBG is waaaaay more explicit about the physical affection between the girls than in any of the previous stories I talked about. Heath and Lily are constantly kissing on, hugging, and almost always flirting with each other, and make no mistake, these girls do be fucking. The sex scenes are never perverted or gross, but genuinely super sweet and romantic, which makes it way hotter imo (huh imagine that🤔). And aside from being hot, it also serves a purpose! Lily’s pretty damn horny underneath all her nice girl antics and while it’s not a major part of her character, it does give a slight edge to her personality and, most importantly, balances out the dynamic between Heath and Lily. It would’ve been very easy to fall into that boring trope where Heath is aggressively horny and Lily is the submissive blind girl, but by making Lily be the one to initiate the sexual encounters, it not only compliments Heath’s more reserved nature, but breaks the stereotype that people with disabilities are pure precious being who couldn’t possibly have sex, which is ableist af btw. Many people think the existence of any sex scenes at all is superfluous, but in BatBG, it truly elevates the story, the characters, and the romance in ways that wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying without it.

Now, with as much praise I gave BatBG, there is one criticism I have, but it’s a quibble really, and it can be explained in a single image:

There is a dissonance between the story and the art, the story says: “Heath is a big, ugly scary monster”

The art says:

And like yes, it can be argued that Heath is simply regurgitating the things bigoted people have said to her, but at no point in the story is this ever challenged or brought up in any meaningful way. Lily is blind so she doesn’t know what the hell she looks like and the other characters aren’t any help either. It’s not a big deal or anything, it just would’ve elevated the story if Heath was actually kinda ugly/more monstrous and not incredibly beautiful because right now it’s giving skinny girl who calls herself fat all the time, and it’s like, babe, who tf are you fooling? 😭

Other than that, BatBG is incredibly profound despite its premise being so deceptively simple and I love it to pieces so …yeah! READ IT.

4. Superwomen in Love! Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit by sometime

Well, at least there are no blondes

So imma just abbreviate to SiL btw

Alright, let’s get started. The premise is that a villainess falls for the super hero girl and then that plotline is dropped in about 16 pages. I’m not even joking, the villainess falls for the hero, loses her job as a villain and then joins the hero all in one chapter. The REAL plot is actually about a council of evil alien-humans who want to destroy humanity because of generic super villain reason #434: the leader of the aliens is sad and misunderstood :( I’m not even going to lie, I had 0 interest in “X” (the generic ass name of the main villain) and her band of useless lesbians. They did literally nothing in the story except be a nuisance and contribute to X’s incel breakdown at the end. Their inclusion actively made SiL worse because the story has this weird tonal problem where in one breath the villains are portrayed as complete jokes and then you turn the page and now they’re shooting children like girl what💀 And these useless lesbians hog sooooo much of SiL that desperately needed to be given to Honey trap and Hayate to develop their relationship.

When the story DOES actually focus on Honey Trap and Hayate, it’s pretty good, even cute at times, there just wasn’t enough time given to them to flesh their relationship out. As it stands, Honey Trap and Hayate don’t have much of a dynamic, or personality for that matter. Honey Trap’s main gimmick is that she’s extremely horny for Hayate and delulu:

Aside from that, she’s a great value version of Heath, but even a watered down character is better than, like, nothing. All I really know about Hayate is that she’s nice, heroic, likes wearing tacky clothes and ….that’s it. She loves Honey Trap because…………they fought together a few times so why not🤷‍♀️ I’d say at least that’s better than Tamen De Gushi, but actually it’s not because these grown ass women don’t even kiss , all we get is a love confession and their gremlin love child and that’s supposed to be satisfying I guess.

And the worst part is that SiL has the audacity to pretend the romance was something that it clearly wasn’t:

Girl…yall were “””enemies””” for 10 panels.

Now, it’s stated they have been rivals for a while, but I guess Honey Trap forgot all of that because the moment she sees Hayate’s face, my good sis is pussy whipped for life. And that’s in spite of apparently being the evilest one out of the evil group because Honey Trap has no grudge or baggage toward Hayate. She immediately turns good with no issues and Hayate is only distrustful of Honey Trap for 1 or 2 speech bubbles and then she’s not. Anything else that happened was off screen, which means it didn’t happen. Ironically, the very next entry on this list will do a MUCH better job at an ex-villain love story, but for SiL, there’s just not much going on.

Another reading of this story is to call it a “parody” but…no, it isn’t. SiL isn’t a comedy, yes there are comedic moments that poke fun of the genre, but the rest of the story genuinely wants you to take it seriously. Except it can’t. X and her league of dimwits are boring as piss and they oscillate between Saturday morning cartoon villains and child murderers seemingly on a whim. So I can neither be endeared to them nor take them as a serious threat. Honey Trap and Hayate are there, but I lament on all the potential lost from what could’ve been an amazing relationship.

5. Yamujiburo/Kianamaiart’s Hanamusa webcomic

This one is kind of cheating, but I also don’t care let me talk about hot MILFs💀

So the final entry on this list is a webcomic series by one of my fave artist: kianamaiart! And it’s right here on tumblr so check it out!

I stumbled upon this webcomic a few weeks ago, fell in love and now I want to talk about it. This yuri pair thankfully has no blonde femme in sight and instead features two popular Pokémon characters: Jessie from Team Rocket and Delia Ketchum, Ash Ketchum’s mom. What I love about this ship and the world Kiana creates around them is that it’s a very unconventional pairing. There’s just not many romances where a single mom falls in love with an ex gang member and the best part is, Delia being a mom is a big part of her character and she doesn’t ignore Ash in favor of her new relationship with Jessie. She has time for both and doesn’t prioritize one over the other, which many ppl fail to do even irl so good on you Delia!

Now, as for the romance it self, Jessie and Delia are a unique pair. Jessie’s overconfident, brash, drama queen personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “dominant” role and Delia’s sweet, motherly personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “submissive” role. Their dynamic in the webcomic actually plays out in the reverse, Jessie is the one who gets easily flustered and Delia’s…intense, to say the least:

(But Tbf if Delia looked at me like that I’d be at her beck and call too💀)

This subversion of these tropes creates a fun dynamic for the couple and it’s super adorable to see how their energies bounce off each other in each new situation Kiana puts them in. I also love how both Jessie and Delia inspire each other to live out their dreams and they become better versions of themselves by being together.

And one last thing, I don’t have any smart commentary to go along with this, I just really like this drawing of Jessie:

no thoughts, head empty

Final Thoughts

Soooo yeah, that’s the end of my dissertation on yuri comics. I know I ended up dragging a lot of popular yuri, but it wasn’t my intention to make you guys hate any of things I talked about. These were just my thoughts as an avid yuri fan, so let me know your thoughts as well, especially if you read any of the yuri I talked about. And even though I’m super picky about the type of yuri I read, I’d still love to hear any recommendations. Who knows, it might dethrone the undefeated champ that is Beauty and the Beast Girl.

[parti-poppers]

what are your fav fukalen headcannons that you have?

Oh lord you don’t even know

I have far too many and I physically can’t pick favorites, so I present you; Pop’s Fukalen Headcanon Masterlist (that hasn’t been updated in a good while)

-They get into dumb stupid trouble a lot, Len cuz he’s overly confident, stubborn and stupid, and Fukase because he’s an agent of chaos

-They casually bully (not really, just tease) each other a lot

-They don’t really need to communicate to cause havoc, they just sorta catch each others dumbass brain waves

-Though Luka is the main English tutor for the Kagamines, Fukase also helps Len with his English a lot

-After Fukase has helped Len with English so much, it became a habit for Fukase to speak English to Len so that he could hear it more and learn, so though it’s not actually necessary it has become natural for them to have conversations where Len speaks Japanese and Fukase speaks English

-Fukase’s kinda jealous of Len’s dance skills but refuses to admit it, instead just saying Len’s a show off (he’s not wrong)

-They’re both gamers and play together a lot, though Fukase leans more towards shooters and Len’s a bit of a rhythm game fanatic

-They played Portal 2 together which consisted of Fukase carrying and Len fucking around bc he wasn’t built for puzzle games

-Fukase says project diva is dumb and not even a good game because he generally doesn’t like rhythm games as he tends to suck at them, but he’s secretly a hardcore project diva fan and plays it a lot

-Similarly, he complains about Sekai being cashgrab trash and just another shitty gacha game but he’s mildly addicted

-Oh and his fave module is Len’s Trickster one because then they have a matching cane and hat vibe goin’ on

-Sometimes when they’re in group chat with friends Fukase and Len will argue, and Fukase will say something like “shut up bb”, earning something like a “lmao you calling him baby that’s kinda gay” from the others, and the response is usually something along the lines of “YOU ALL KNOW ITS SHORT FOR BANANA BOY SHUT THE HELL UP”

-Len makes fun of Fukase’s overly complicated design a lot but had an edgy phase where he thought it was the peek of fashion and secretly wanted to look like him

-Len really likes Fukase’s lower range (especially when paired with his softer voice), but keeps that secret locked up and kept away from everyone and anyone

-Len assumed for ages that Fukase wore eyeliner until he did his makeup once and told him to take it off and Fukase was like “what eyeliner” and Len was like “you’re not wearing eyeliner???”

-Fukase gets super easily cold which is why he wears so many layers, meanwhile Len is that kid that walks around in a t-shirt and shorts all year around, a bit of a living heater if you will. It can either be optimal for cuddling or make it impossible, depends

-They use a lot of different nicknames for each other depending on context- usually Fukase might call Len “Banana Boy”, “Blondie”, “Twink” or “Dumbass” and Len might call Fukase “Clown” “Fuckass” “Fuka” or “Kase”. You’ll probably never catch Fukase saying “Babe” (Banana Boy > BB > Baby/Babe)or Len saying “Fukafuka” (fluffy/soft) out in the open tho

-Fukase and Flower are best friends, and Flower has a habit of giving people nicknames based on flowers. Fukase sorta picked up on this, occasionally calling Len “Buttercup”

-Every time someone asks Fukase how his face got scarred he comes up with the most wild and shocking story he can think of on the spot to get a reaction out of whoever is asking, but none of these manage to shock Len anymore because he’s heard every single one Fukase has managed to conjure up

-Fukase has multiple sorted reference, meme, quote, and random picture folders so he can send whatever he deems perfect in any given situation at any given time. Depending on context Len will more often than not know “oh this person said this, so Fuka is gonna send/show this specific thing in three, two, one- there it is”

-Whenever Len comes over to Fukase he will prioritize saying hi to Point before Fukase. Fukase‘s kinda accepted that Len likes Point more than him

-The way Len treats Point compared to the way Fukase does is night and day- Len holds it like a newborn child talking to the it like it’s a puppy, while Fuka be out here dragging it by a limb sayin “ya stinky”

-Point is their unofficial child probably

-Len likes a lot of Fukase’s original English songs, but knows his own English isn’t the best, at least not compared to Fukase’s, so he only ever jams to them and sings along in private

-Though he makes fun of it a lot, Fukase thinks Len’s English is kinda endearing, but he keeps that to himself

-Fukase has the weird ability to making insults sound like compliments, and compliments sound like insults, and Len is sick of it cuz it makes him very confused and annoyed

-Fukase speaks fluent sarcasm, meanwhile Len’s brain sometimes just short circuits and he can’t pick up on sarcasm whatsoever

-Fukase is a smartass with dumbass energy and Len is a dumbass who tries to have smartass energy (in contrast to Rin, who fully embraces her dumbassness and dumbass energy and thinks Len should too. He insists he isn’t as dumb as her and she’s like “bro you’re literally my reflection”)

-Len legit has a big ego (some describe him as mildly narcissistic) while, Fukase is just great at faking confidence and actually doesn’t think very highly of himself, though Len insists he absolutely should

-Fukase likes cracking self deprecating jokes. He does that more than your average person due to his secretly low confidence

-Len, due to his higher than average confidence, usually doesn’t find self deprecating jokes funny cuz he doesn’t relate to them, and it often takes him a second to get them. Sometimes, if he notices his friends making a lot of them, he’ll get kinda worried and be like “damn you need therapy or smthn?”

-Len sometimes aggressively delivers compliments to Fukase, or whoever he thinks needs them

-Fukase’s terrible at accepting compliments

-Len straight up started giving Fukase self love classes to teach him real confidence

-He also gives Fukase dance lessons, but Fukase usually doesn’t learn much because Len’s too busy showing off. They have fun tho

-Fukase really like when Len has his hair down

-Len’s kind of a mess in the kitchen, so when they have to prepare something themselves Fukase usually does it for the both of them

-When they’re out together they like to get milkshakes/smoothies. If both are almost broke and they gotta share, they compromise and get the banana and strawberry drink. While their fave flavors in general are banana for Len and strawberry for Fukase, they both have come to enjoy the banana and strawberry combo. Sometimes they lie to each other abt being broke just to order it and share

-Len says Wi-Fi Imagination Wild Boy is “their song” but Fukase likes to pretend it doesn’t exist and never happened out of embarrassment

-Len likes having one hand on each side of Fukase’s face because the difference in skin texture on each side feels funny. Fukase says it’s weird that he likes doing that, but doesn’t stop him from squishing his face

-Fukase always ponders how the Cryptons have perfect skin, or well, at least he knows Len does- perfect nails too, great for head scratches

-While Fuka is normally not the biggest fan of surprise physical contact, it’s kinda become a habit of Len to just randomly scratch his head or run his hand through his hair. This is an exception. If you comment on it tho, Fukase will suddenly start acting annoyed by it and smack Len’s hand away. Len teases him a bit for liking it

-Len absolutely adores how fluffy and messy Fukase’s hair is

-Fukase has his reasons for keeping his arm bandages, maybe health, convenience, not wanting to freak people out- but one is because he has a habit of picking at the skin there, which Len is trying to get him to stop doing

-Fukase’s arm picking worries Len, so sometimes he changes Fukase’s bandages for him just to make sure he won’t do it

-Len’s a trans guy and Fukase is one of the few people Len’s comfortable not binding his chest in front of, other than the other Cryptons and Piko (bc Piko’s his best friend)

-Fuka barely needs any sleep getting like 4 hours on average, while is a professional honk mimimier who likes getting his 8 hours of beauty sleep

-Because of Len’s habit of sleeping like a baby and the fact that he’s usually busy as fuck, Fukase always lets him sleep in when they have sleepovers at his place, not having the heart to wake him up

-When they have sleepovers they always end up having an argument a little while after Len starts showing signs of being tired. These basically consist of Len saying “if I go to bed now I know you’re just gonna stay up all night, get your ass to bed now or I’m staying up and annoying you while sleep deprived” and Fukase saying “you look like you’re gonna pass out and you know damn well I won’t be able to sleep for a while, go to bed or I’m carrying your sleepy ass over there“. Which of them wins varies

-Though they both frequently tease each other and are okay with teasing/being teased about pretty much anything, they also know exactly when they’re crossing a line or pushing certain buttons. Sometimes they’ll push the others buttons just a little or see how far they can go, but they always know when to stop and when the other isn’t cool with it anymore

-Fukase adores the horror genre as a whole, while Len’s more easily freaked out but pretends like he has no fear- so, when they’re for example picking out a movie to watch, Fukase might wanna watch a horror movie and Len will be like “Pft of course no problem I’m not a wimp” but then later in the middle of the movie they’ll have to pause and chill together for a bit because Fukase’s like “dude you look like you’re gonna cry maybe let’s not, want some hot coco?”

-Fukase and Len once started talking about some English tv show and after it came up in conversation Len confessed that he had a hard time following without Japanese subtitles, especially when he wants to sing along to the songs. This lead Fuka to say he could help him if there was anything he needed clarified when watching it, which lead to them watching the show together. Now they’ve developed a habit of watching stuff together so Fukase can help translate and clarify, even though Len doesn’t need it much anymore

-While Len loves doing concerts and performances, he gets very homesick and missed his friends since he’s so social. He’ll text people non stop, though he’s sometimes worried that it gets a little annoying- but Fukase doesn’t mind at all. Len always somehow gives him the ability to watch them live from his home and tells him about how it is and that he misses him, and since Fukase doesn’t have a sleep schedule it usually works wherever Len is. Len also hooked him up with some real nice glowsticks that he furiously waved around when watching

-Since Fukase and especially Len are both pretty dang successful and feel like can’t really comfortably talk about their insecurities or negative feelings regarding their loid status in front of less successful loids, like Piko or Lui, they kinda just talk about it to each other. They bond over it- knowing Piko has it worse, Fuka isn’t as bothered much by his licensing, but is ashamed that his VP doesn’t care for him. And Len, tho almost always feeling like he’s the best he could be, sometimes feels inferior to Rin when remembering that he’s just kind of an add on to her

-Len has little to no insecurities regarding his looks, though he spent like his eye color very much, partially bc he’s often made to wear brighter green or blue contacts for promo stuff. Fukase thinks this is bullshit and Len’s eyes are pretty as hell

-Fukase is disabled, hence the cane, and doesn’t typically mind it too much because it lets him skip out on a lot of stuff in PE and other such things. His one complaint is that he can’t really carry Len bc of his balance, but Len insists it’s ok

-While being a bit of a twig and not a fan of exercise, but he does have a bit of upper body mass because he plays drums and has used crutches/wheelchairs at several points in life. Len’s the more athletic of the two tho and likes to brag about

-Len has dog energy and Fukase has cat energy

-Len bought Fukase a pair of those headphones with cat ears on them. Fukase said it was stupid, asked why he spent money on them and claimed he’d never wear them, but he often uses them at home

-They’ve faked a proposal for free food

-Len kinda doesn’t really know what exactly Fukase is or how he works but also doesn’t really care

-Fukase loves showing Len games that are actually horror games but don’t seem like it at first. Len always gets suspicion and Fukase always goes “nonono this ones’s fine it’s not scary at all I promise” and Len always falls for it

-After Len complained about it enough he finally manages to get Fukase to eat three meals a day (or at least try to). Fukase forgets to every now and again but Len’s usually there to remind him

-Despite the fact that nothing seems to make Len insecure ever, there was one time his perfect skin had a pimple and he refused to come out of his room for almost anything. Fukase had to sit outside his room and convince him it really wasn’t that bad on three separate occasions

-One time when Len and Rin were hanging out with Miku and some popular friends after a concert Fukase borrowed Flower’s motorbike to pick Len up so he’d seem cool. Was very effective on Len but the others were like “lmao you two are dorks” and “Wait is Fukase even allowed to drive that”

-Their friends were genuinely very surprised to find out that they liked each other because they both had this very tsundere-esque, mean, teasing and pulling no punches way of interacting so everyone figured they really disliked each other (both of them were surprised to find that the other liked them back too)

-When Fukase and Moke, who were the last members to join the friend group, first met Len, Fukase really disliked him while Moke adored him. This was in big part because Fukase knew Len’s celebrity image as an arrogant, self obsessed, annoying asshole, and Moke, being very into otaku culture, was a big fan who idolizes him and found his celebrity image to be talented and charming. However, when they actually got to know him, the script completely flipped and Fukase now finds him dumb, but charming, while Moke just finds him unbearable

[fruitcoops]

Two of A Kind

I’ve been focusing on asks a lot lately because of everyone’s awesome ideas, but I saw a Cut video that was similar to this and just couldn’t resist. Hope you enjoy! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for mentions of sex and endless simping!

“Are you ready?” Marlene asks behind the camera. Kasey sits alone on a stool in the middle of the room, drumming his fingers on his knees.

“Yep. What am I doing again?”

The video cuts, revealing the same room, this time with James Potter on the stool. “You’re going to be answering a few questions,” Marlene explains. “And then we’re also going to be interviewing your wife and comparing your answers.”

“Oh, God,” James laughs. “Okay, hit me with your best shot.”

A title card appears on the screen. First Question: What was your first date?

Remus thinks for a moment. “Like, our first official date, or something that was definitely a date but we were both too dumb to notice?”

“Kasey took me to an ice rink,” Natalie says. She is inexplicably sitting on a folding chair rather than the stool. “We spent about three hours there, drinking cocoa and talking. It was a ton of fun!”

“Ice skating.” Kasey grins. “She told me she could skate, but she had never stepped on the ice in her life.”

“It was at Sid’s.” Sirius smiles to himself. “We had been together for about three months at that point.”

“Remus asked us to define ‘first date’,” Marlene says, sounding amused.

“Is there a different definition that I’m not aware of? We hung out at Sid’s a bunch before we actually got together, but those didn’t qualify as dates.” He pauses. “Looking back, they kind of were dates. We just didn’t know it.”

The video transitions to Lily and James, whose interviews are lined up side-by-side. “Lily took me to get ice cream after we went for a walk in the park,” James answers with a bright smile.

Lily laughs. “Our first date was a disaster. It was twenty-five degrees outside and we got ice cream. I think our brain freezes lasted about three straight minutes, but I had a great time.”

Second Question: When and where was your first kiss?

“Our first kiss happened on our first date,” Natalie says. “Kase caught me when I fell over and I just leaned right in.”

Kasey’s dopey smile makes his eyes crinkle. “At the ice rink. It felt like something out of a movie.”

Lily frowns in thought. “Oh, god, maybe our sixth date? He dropped me off at my apartment and kissed me goodnight.”

“I pulled a move straight from a John Hughes movie.” James grins and stretches his arms out. “Walked her to the door and everything. It was perfect.”

“Pascal Dumais’ basement,” Sirius says with a light laugh. “Which is a surprisingly romantic place.”

“It happened right after Sirius’ birthday party, which I was tricked into attending.” Remus gives the camera a mock-serious look. “Always be suspicious of Pascal Dumais. Always.”

Third Question: Who said ‘I love you’ first, and what was your reaction?

Sirius bites his lip. “I said it first, but only by two seconds. It was a long time coming, to be honest.”

“Sirius said it first.” Remus smiles at the memory. “We were both kind of wrecks at the time, but it was…amazing. I think I just cried harder and kissed him.”

Lily rolls her eyes fondly. “James said it first. We were both super drunk and he just blurted it out in the middle of the club.”

“She ran away!” James practically shouts as the video cuts to him. “I told her I loved her, she gave me this shocked look, and then disappeared! I get a text an hour later saying she caught a cab and went home, and she signs it with ‘love, Lily’. What the fuck was I supposed to do with that?”

Natalie coughs slightly. “Um, I don’t remember who said it first.”

Kasey grins at the camera. “Natalie said she didn’t remember,” Marlene calls.

“Oh, she remembers.”

Fourth Question: How’s your sex life? Anything you can do differently?

Sirius, who was taking a sip of water, chokes. “Excuse me?”

Remus is dead silent for a second, blinking at the camera in shock. “It’s, uh, good.”

“If we gave you some alcohol, would your answer change?” Marlene asks.

“Probably. Does anyone else feel like they’re suddenly in danger?”

“What sex life?” James snorts. “We have a baby. There is no time or energy for anything anymore.”

Lily raises an eyebrow. “You think I want him anywhere near me after I just shoved a baby out of my crotch?”

“It’s damn good.” Natalie winks, uncapping her own waterbottle. “Pro tip for anyone looking for a hockey boyfriend: go for the goalies. They’re flexible.”

Kasey is laughing into his hands when his interview appears. “She said that?” he manages. “Oh, Christ.”

Fifth Question: Do you dirty talk?

“Yes.” Kasey and Natalie say at the same time. James winks, and Lily shrugs with a sly smile.

Remus gives the camera crew a disbelieving look. “Are all the questions like this? Were we lulled into a false sense of security?”

“Answer the question, Loops!”

Remus sighs deeply. “On occasion, yes. I’m going to regret saying that.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Sirius says, narrowing his eyes as he sets his water down.

Sixth Question: How well do you sleep?

“Not bad,” Remus says. “Better than I used to, that’s for sure.”

“I don’t sleep,” Lily scoffs. James just looks at the camera and wordlessly gestures to the shadows under his eyes.

“Pretty well,” Natalie muses, slinging one arm around the back of her folding chair.

Sirius nods. “I’d say I sleep well most nights. It’s more comfortable with another person, which was surprising.”

Seventh Question: Why do you feel obligated to share a bed?

“Obligated?” Sirius and Remus say with matching tones of incredulity.

Lily’s smile becomes softer. “I really like sharing a bed. It makes me feel safe.”

“Oh, I love sleeping next to Lily.” James’ gaze turns dreamy. “She smells nice, she’s so warm, and sharing a bed makes childcare much easier when the other person is within reach.”

“You can’t tell her I said this, okay?” Kasey looks around at the camera crew before answering, and his cheeks turn light pink. “Nat’s side of the bed faces east, so if I get up for practice and the sun is rising, she glows a little bit. I dunno, I like it.”

“Kasey is really warm and cuddly.” Natalie says after a moment of thought. “He’s like my own personal heater and I’m never cold if he’s there. Don’t tell him I said that.”

Remus bites his lip before speaking. “I’m not much of a cuddler, but I sleep better next to Sirius than I ever have before. It’s incredible.”

Sirius cocks his head to the side with a smile. “Hmm. Having someone there to hold, especially someone I care about so much, is the best feeling. If I ever wake up in the middle of the night, he’s just…always there.” He half-shrugs. “It’s sappy, but it’s true.”

Eighth Question: Rate your attractiveness on a scale of 1-10

“Eleven,” Lily and Natalie say in unison, as if it’s obvious.

“I’m going with a solid six,” Remus decides after a moment’s deliberation.

“Eight, maybe?” Kasey answers.

Sirius makes a face. “Six? Seven?”

James is mid-laugh when the video cuts to him. “Um, seven. Lily and I have talked about this before and I got in trouble for saying ten, that’s why I’m laughing. Sorry.”

Ninth Question: Rate your partner’s attractiveness on a scale of 1-10

Not a single one hesitates. “Ten.”

“Remus said he was a solid six,” Marlene says as the camera focuses on Sirius.

His eyebrows shoot up. “What? Where is he? Re!”

“What?” a distant voice shouts back.

“You’re a ten!”

“On what scale?”

“Nat said eleven, didn’t she?” Kasey asks with a grin as the clip changes. “I love it when she does that.”

Final Question: What animal is your partner and why? Give three reasons.

Lily gives Marlene a hard look. “Marley, I love you, but what I say right now needs to stay confidential from my husband.”

Sirius laughs quietly. “Oh, he’s going to hate me for this.”

“Lily is a lioness,” James says immediately. “She’s strong, fierce, and unbelievably brave.”

Natalie tilts her head. “Good question. I’m going to go with a bear, since he’s got a big, tough reputation but he’s all soft inside. He’s a pretty solid guy, too, and he likes cold weather.”

“Nat is one of those really colorful birds,” Kasey says. “The ones with big personalities and the pretty feathers.”

“James is a lion.” Lily thinks for a moment longer. “It’s not just that he plays for the Lions, but he really is one of the bravest people I know. He’s protective of his family and cares a lot about keeping everyone together.”

Remus grins at the camera. “Sirius is a dog, and I will happily tell you why. Number one: he loves going for walks. Number two: he is endlessly loyal to the people he cares for. Number three: peanut butter.”

“So, Re is either a cat or a dog, and I really can’t choose.” Sirius’ eyebrows draw together in thought.

“You can choose both if you have reasons,” Marlene calls behind the camera.

“Really? Alright, he’s a dog because he’s friendly, loyal, and brings people trinkets as gifts. Um, I don’t have a legitimate reason for the cat one, but do any of you know that one vine with the cat that’s being dragged around on a leash?”

The camera crew bursts out laughing, and a small picture of the cat appears in the upper left of the screen.

“Anyone who has tried to pick Remus up knows that he looks exactly like that. Goes completely limp, it’s the funniest fucking thing.”

The video cuts to Remus, who raises his eyebrows. “He said what?”

The title card appears and Marlene’s voiceover begins. “Thanks for watching, Lions! Special thanks to Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James and Lily Potter, Natalie Darcy, and Kasey Winter for being with us today. Like and subscribe for more!”

[thedragonemperess]

honestly

i expected a lot worse

oliver was hella creepy, some of the characterization felt off, but i did laugh at some of the jokes, which is really all i wanted

plus got more content to fuel my kase and skylarxbree brainrot, which i love (possible episode rewrites coming soon, plus maybe soulmate au and already dating fics)

THE THING THAT KEPT ANNOYING ME CONSISTENTLY WAS THE FUCKING SOUNDTRACK AND INTRO

okay firstly the intro/theme was so fucking greenscreened and not even good green screen, if you focus on either skylar or bree's hair, you can see it

AND WHENEVER THEY PLAYED THE MUSIC TO OPEN A SHOT TO SHOW WHERE WE ARE (showing the tower) IT SOUNDED RUSHED AND NOT VERY GOOD, LIKE THEY WERE TRYING TO BLEND LAB RATS AND MAKE IT SOMETHING NEW, BUT IT SOUNDED AWFUL

also back to oliver

DAMN HES SO CREEPY WHAT THE FUCK

LIKE I KNEW YOU TOLD ME BUT LIKE SHIT

IT WAS UGHSJRHUGH

AND THEN SKYLAR RESPONDED?!!?!?!?! DISGUSTING

(also skylarbree caldera fic 👀)

anyways i might have more thoughts but i binged it all tonight

OH WAIT ONE MORE THING

the plot was so stupid like roman and riker were in like three episodes and it was barely focused on them saving superheroes, the show very easily could have been episodical and just been their dumb adventures, it would've been fine like that

okay im going to sleep now gnight i love you <3

Ah

So you get the hatrid now, then?

[wildcardaces]

@ruby-static "burning the herbert simps" edition!

In which anna shows no mercy

Anna: it could be worse! You could be a herbert Simp!

Kase and Leon: wow, Subtle.

Nobody will take shit from herbert simps

Anna: wow. This place is a freak show. I dont respect literally any of you

Anna continues the roasts at leon and Kase XD

Quil: we saw it and thought of you~

The shirt: softer worser slower weaker

Quil is in on it to *wHEEZE*

Takumi is in the epf because Gary was interested in him. Unfortunately, Takumi is very curious in everything and JPG knows that if he even sips the energy drink sitting on the table that the building will be doomed. So it's a game of keep-away.

I drew ruby! He is a chinstrap/emperor and a sucker for the punk-rock look, torn leather jacket and the such. And a rival turned friend of takumi.

And the finale- dumb fucking town names

Anna: uh...Mai? Is this actually a real place?

Mai: yep..

Anna: oh you are KIDDING.

Mai: I wish I was. Britain has so many dumb, weird and sometimes inappropriate town names I wonder what they were on when actually naming the places.

The worst part of being a human half the time is all the questions about your world you get asked by innocent penguins who think you're ten times more weirder after explaining it.

(I've been past bitchfield several times- it still takes me off guard every time I see it)

[unelectedofficial]

     wow  !!  i  honestly  am  surprised  to  still  be  here  ,  if  that  doesn’t  sound  too  pessimistic  .  when  i  made  this  blog  ,  i  expected  it  to  be  something  i  did  over  the  summer  until  school  started  again  to  keep  me  busy  and  distract  me  from  things  happening  in  real  life  ;  i  never  thought  that  it  would  turn  into  one  of  my  most  fun  and  fulfilling  hobbies  .  this  blog  has  gotten  me  through  a  lot  of  tough  things  ,  helped  me  to  grow  as  a  person  and  writer  ,  and  has  connected  me  to  so  many  amazing  people  .  i’m  glad  you  all  still  follow  me  and  that  i’ve  (  hopefully  )  made  at  least  a  few  people  like  nessa  more  than  they  did  before  .  it’s  been  a  fun  year  --  let’s  do  another  ??      now  ,  a  few  special  shoutouts  under  the  cut  because  some  people  deserve  awards  for  putting  up  with  me  /  having  to  engage  with  me  for  as  long  as  they  have  .  if  i  left  anyone  out  ,  i  promise  it  wasn’t  intentional  and  i  went  through  my  blog  /  followers  like  ten  times  when  writing  this  .  

     @cadyhcrons  --  bro  ,  even  though  you  don’t  have  an  rp  blog  (  smh  rip  kara  danvers  am  i  right  ?  )  you  seriously  mean  so  much  to  me  !!  i’m  sure  that  no  one  cares  ,  but  everything  you  see  on  here  actually  has  to  be  seen  by  sophia  first  and  she  validates  most  of  my  choices  --  unless  i  make  them  at  3am  ,  of  course  ,  which  happens  a  lot  .  bro  ,  you’ve  let  me  yell  at  you  about  miss  nessarose  every  single  day  for  like  a  year  and  a  half  and  honestly  ?  i  don’t  know  how  /  why  you  haven’t  told  me  to  just  shut  up  by  now  because  i  even  annoy  myself  after  a  while  .  you  give  me  confidence  and  make  me  feel  special  a  lot  ;  you’re  an  irreplaceable  friend  (  and  as  soon  as  i  can  ,  i  have  to  mail  you  that  gum  that  i  bought  you  )  .  it’s  gonna  be  hard  to  pretend  like  i  haven’t  written  this  for  you  for  an  entire  week  ,  but  i  hope  you’re  surprised  at  least  a  little  bit  :)       @wldbirds  --  nic  ,  like  i  said  the  other  day  :  i  don’t  remember  when  you  followed  me  .  but  ,  what  you  don’t  know  is  how  this  is  actually  a  good  thing  .  to  me  ,  it  feels  like  we’ve  been  writing  for  ages  and  you  never  fail  to  impress  me  .  i  really  feel  like  our  writing  clicks  and  we’re  very  much  on  the  same  page  with  headcanons  .  i  cannot  express  how  much  i  think  your  blog  is  like  ,  cool  and  i  applaud  you  for  putting  up  with  me  .  there’s  much  more  to  say  ,  but  i  just  want  to  really  thank  you  for  writing  with  me  /  helping  me  grow  as  a  writer  !!      @shallowprince  --  charlie  ,  we’ve  actually  been  mutuals  for  a  lot  longer  than  i  remember  (  oops  ,  my  bad  )  and  i  think  you  saw  my  blog  when  it  was  ugly  .  so  ,  thanks  for  sticking  around  !!  on  a  more  serious  note  ,  of  course  ,  i  want  to  thank  you  for  all  you’ve  done  for  me  .  i  don’t  know  if  you  know  ,  but  that  one  night  when  you  bombarded  me  with  messages  just  ,  like�� ,  praising  me  beyond  belief  i  literally  wanted  to  cry  because  you  were  flattering  me  so  much  .  and  still  ,  you’re  one  of  the  nicest  and  friendliest  people  that  i’ve  ever  met  .  your  fiyero  is  spectacular  and  #sidecharactersforever  !!      @orchestrahearts  --  linny  ,  you  probably  knew  this  was  coming  because  i  mention  it  so  much  buuuut  .  .  .  you’ve  literally  been  following  me  for  so  long  ??  we’ve  been  mutuals  for  as  long  as  i’ve  had  this  blog  i  believe  and  i  just  really  appreciate  that  you  stuck  around  because  there  were  certainly  some  unappealing  phases  to  this  blog  (  i  was  learning  !!  )  .  you’re  a  great  person  to  talk  to  and  i  will  never  fail  to  be  impressed  by  the  work  you  put  into  your  blog  .      @songbird-not-found  --  ali  ,  you’re  amazing  !!  you  were  the  first  eurydice  that  i  followed  /  that  followed  me  (  i  can’t  remember  who  followed  first  ,  but  it  was  probably  me  let’s  be  honest  )  and  i  didn’t  even  know  anything  about  hadestown  .  i  asked  my  friend  about  things  for  like  a  solid  month  before  you  inadvertently  persuaded  me  to  listen  to  it  .  why  i  hadn’t  ,  i  still  don’t  really  know  but  .  anyway  ,  your  eurydice  (  and  all  of  your  other  muses  !!  )  is  written  extremely  well  and  it’s  been  so  nice  to  have  you  on  my  dash  .  i  know  that  we  don’t  talk  too  much  ooc  ,  but  i  really  appreciate  that  you  always  like  my  dumb  posts  and  support  me  !!      @madgirltm  --  max  ,  you  probably  also  knew  this  was  coming  because  of  how  much  i  openly  (  and  anonymously  ,  surprise  )  stan  you  but  !!  thank  you  so  much  for  following  me  for  this  long  ??  i  literally  can’t  remember  how  long  it’s  been  exactly  ,  but  i  know  it’s  been  a  while  .  i  hype  you  up  a  lot  ,  but  honestly  i  just  want  to  really  let  you  know  how  much  i  respect  you  .  the  confidence  and  dedication  that  you  have  for  your  blogs  and  muses  is  something  that  i  aspire  to  have  and  be  like  one  day  .  it  means  a  lot  to  me  that  we’re  mutuals  !!      @russicnrat  --  lyra  ,  i  know  it’s  my  turn  for  positivity  wars  (  even  though  it’s  been  months  )  and  i  swear  one  day  you’ll  check  your  phone  or  tablet  or  computer  or  idk  samsung  fridge  and  be  like  oh  carly  did  it  huh  .  maybe  now  isn’t  the  best  time  to  tell  you  (  and  i  probably  have  told  you  and  just  forgotten  )  but  i  once  had  a  cat  called  lyra  !!  anyway  ,  you  impress  me  .  end  section  .  no  ,  like  your  blog  is  gorgeous  .  your  writing  ?  beautiful  .  you  have  dmitry  down  like  crazy  .  i  saw  anastasia  on  tour  and  was  like  oh  when  i  could  like  ??  see  your  writing  in  the  acting  (  if  that  makes  any  sense  )  .  not  to  mention  ,  i  love  all  of  the  edits  you  post  and  think  that  you’re  just  neat  :)      @suverennaya​  --  czarina  ,  we’ve  only  really  written  together  a  little  bit  but  i  admire  you  so  much  from  afar  (  even  though  it  isn’t  really  afar  ,  but  you  know  what  i  mean  )  .  all  of  your  blogs  are  so  pretty  and  your  writing  is  stunning  .  you’re  super  knowledgeable  and  it  really  shows  throughout  your  blog  .  as  members  of  the  broadway  rpc  ,  we  gotta  stick  together  and  thank  you  for  sticking  with  me  .      @gclddustheart​  --  kasee  ,  i  know  you  hate  my  angst  .  but  maybe  .  .  .  you  don’t  hate  me  since  you’ve  been  following  me  for  a  while  ??  jk  ,  maybe  .  anyway  ,  you’re  amazing  and  i  hope  you  know  that  i  appreciate  our  interactions  .  whenever  you  send  an  ask  i  do  the  keysmash  thing  because  i  get  so  excited  .  your  blog  and  writing  are  something  really  special  ,  and  i  want  to  thank  you  for  sharing  it  with  me  for  so  long  .      @soulofsea​  --  lissa  ,  your  writing  is  beautiful  .  whenever  i  see  that  you’ve  replied  ,  i  quite  literally  have  to  stop  what  i’m  doing  (  if  i  can  )  and  like  ,  curl  up  in  bed  to  read  it  .  you  have  such  a  gorgeous  ,  metaphorical  way  of  writing  that  i  could  only  ever  dream  of  having  .  not  to  mention  that  the  aesthetic  on  your  blog  is  genuinely  so  impressive  !!  thank  you  so  much  for  writing  with  me  and  not  getting  angry  with  nessa  for  being  mean  and  awful  to  annie  all  the  time  .  and  know  --  i  love  annie  with  all  my  heart  !!      @wantlonger​  --  ashley  ,  i  had  to  include  you  (  of  COURSE  )  because  even  if  we  don’t  write  much  and  our  threads  take  place  in  some  strange  ,  unknown  place  ,  we’ve  been  mutuals  for  way  longer  than  i  thought  ??  i  just  suppose  the  time  flies  when  you’re  writing  with  someone  as  amazing  as  you  .  all  of  your  characters  are  so  well  written  and  i  love  the  aesthetic  /  vibe  of  all  your  blogs  so  much  .  i’m  so  happy  that  we  write  together  and  hopefully  we’ll  continue  to  do  so  for  a  while  xoxo  gossip  girl

[ofberryarchive]

idk if i can gush more about you, except for the fact you explain the joke of 'rachel's a dumbass', because... she is. but you break down what she does and why, her thought process, everything. it's an aspect that really does set her apart from others.

:’((( kasee ur so kind and nice and sweet and i do be stanning you and ur quinn every day bc she’s so intensely in character like... i always hear her voice when you write something, you can see the talent and the passion and it’s so nice to see. i’m so happy u let me write with you and i’m so thankful u think my dumb daughter is neat ;o;

beep beep how’s my portrayal? | accepting!

[waterisasoup]

the tf2 mercs assigned to 2010s pop songs :)

scout: baby-justin bieber

spy: airplanes (ft hayley williams)-B.O.B

pyro: can’t stop the feeling!-justin timberlake

soldier: blank space-taylor swift

heavy: centuries-fall out boy

demo: wrecking ball-miley cyrus

sniper: grenade-bruno mars

engi: cool for the summer-demi lovato

medic: call me maybe-carly rae jepsen

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[charanghoe]

Lol, and you guilttripping me was supposed to be helpful? Tingin mo hindi ko naiisip 'yon? I hate myself rin, I dont need you hating on me telling me im ungrateful for not appreciating ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN life you jerk. grabe it's not like im not aware na some have it harder than me. Ive always been grateful kasi di ako nahirapan sa buhay, di ko iniisip saan ako matutulog, di ako naiinitan, di ko pinoproblema kakainin bukas at sa susunod pang araw, isa nga yan sa kinakukunsensya ko, kase putang ina, wala naman akong ganyang problema pero eto ako, gustong gusto na umalis sa mundong 'to. Grabe, putang ina ninyo. Akala niyo ba ang dali nito for me na utter utter lang ng gusto ko ng mamatay? Gusto ko na talagang mamatay. Sa tingin ninyo hindi ko naisip yung mga kapatid kong iiwanan ko? Magulang ko? Mga kaibigan ko? Sa tingin niyo ba di ko naisip yung guilt na mararamdaman nila? Sa tingin ninyo di nyo naisip yung mga sasabihin sakin kapag nawala na ako? Na putang ina anong karapatan kong magpakamatay eh ang sarap sarap ng buhay ko? Sa tingin niyo ba pinili kong maging ganto? akala niyo ba nagtatampisaw lang ako? play time ganon? putang ina ni hindi ko alam pano ako uusad sa totoo lang, ako rinding rindi na rin sa sarili ko, kase putang ina ilang taon na kong ganito pero andito pa rin ako, ito pa rin ako, im not getting any better kasi habang mas natagal ako rito sa putang inang mundong to mas lalo lang lumalakas boses na naririnig ko. totoo naman yong sinabe ko, i shouldve killed myself earlier, edi sana tapos na to.You know how I always thought that one day I'd be glad I didn't end it? it won't ever ever happen, lalo na kada tumatagal yung buhay ko, mas lalong nagsisisi ako na sana mas maaga kong ginawa yon. Habang tumatagal ako rito, lalong lumalaki yung muhi ko sa mga tao. I literally spent my last 4 years holding onto the last glimmer of hope na things will be better and iM SO FUCKING DUMB dumb dumb for believing that. I really hope na one of these days id get the enough courage to go through something i shelved and just leave this awful place

[supergenial]

[translation and lyrics]  一対半の狂爭曲《カプリシオ》 〜絶対に渡さない〜 by ななひら, mega and nayuta

This track is composed by Camelia which means it is automatically great. This time it’s a song about a love triangle between three, uhh, less than respectable folks (to say the least). It’s pretty fun though and they also got nayuta to chip in and be the third voice. Very vivid and fun little track, it’s got love, conflict, Super Smash Brothers, everything you could want. Lyrics down below and see you soon.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

一対半の狂爭曲《カプリシオ》～絶対に渡さない～ (ittsuihan no <capurishio> zettai ni watasanai, half-paired capriccio , I absolutely won't hand her over)

vocals: nanahira and nayuta and mega music and lyrics: かめりあ

ai wo (ai wo) motometeru kimi ga (kimi ga) erande okureyo kono te no toru chigiri wa watashi- anata? watashi- anata? aa yuragu capurishio

if it's love what you desire, then what will you choose hold this hand of mine and promise that you and I? that you and I? ahh, we’re drowning in these whims

[watashi ga hime moraun dakedo! hanashite! baka! aho!] [watashi no mono ni kimatteru janai! kii!] [mou watashi no tame ni arasou no wa yamete~!] [[dochira ni fusawashii ka... kecchaku wo tsukeyou]]

"I'll be getting the princess so step aside! let go! idiot! fool! "She's gonna be mine it's already decided! ahhh" "Please, stop fighting for my sake!" "Who's truly worthy... we'll settle it right here"

osuka hiku ka no (kakehiki yori mo) akai ito wa sakuzatsu (mou tokenai no sa) musunda koyubi ga itamu kurai hikarete erabenai no kai? (ka yowai Answer) watashi dake no mono (watashi wa shinai yo) tsuki to hi no aida meguri meguru rondo

as we tug and pull (in this struggle) the red string that connects us (seems to be fading) but it's surely binding us and bringing us closer you can't decide? what a weak answer you're mine only (No I am not) and so we're back and forth on this rondo another day and night

mou me wo mite nante irarenai (naze... naze erabenai no...) toraware no PRINCESS tsuredashite ageru (okane ageru yo! kingin! zaihou!) akuma no koe mimi wo fusagu no (niku to sushi! karee ni torokeru chiizu!) saa namae wo yonde

you just need to look me in the eyes (why... why can't she choose) I'll take the captive princess with me (I'll give you all my money! and gold! and treasures!) Don't listen to that devil's words (meat and sushi! curry and melted cheese!) now call my name

ai wa (ai wa) amaku toke negau (negau) mariaaju wakare michi ga tokeau yoru (sasou damasu agaku) Rendezvous... kase wa (kase wa) hodokisute kimi ga (kimi ga) sabaite kureru kai erabenai no kotae wo watashi- anata? watashi- anata? aa jireru capurishio

love is thawing out this petition of marriage and so our paths may part away in this night (of invitations, lies, and struggle) in which we Rendezvous our ties come undone as you judge me so harshly but you still can't choose and say that you and I? that you and I? ahh, we're burning in these whims

(ha!! fu! yaruna... seiyaaaa!) (fu! sokoda!! teya!!! ha!) (futari ga watashi wo megutte kettou wo... mou yamete! futari tomo, sonna...) (n?) (nani?) GAME SET (ee, suma[bu]ra jan...)

"take this!" "not so fast!" "If you two keep fighting over me... stop! you two! "eh?" "what?" GAME SET "ee, is this smash bros?"

koi no kao shite amaku hohoemu futatsu narabetara kuroi ai no Chocolat kakushita hitomi ni kanashimi ga nijinde "bonjour mon cher" ubu na kao shite "douzo kochira he to" sasoi komu Dreamland yon tsu no te ga maneku hakuyamu no sonata

with such a lovely face and such a beautiful smile we've both lined up for the dark chocolate that is your love as your eyes try to hide away the sadness in them "Hello my sweetheart" I say to that innocent face "Come here with me" I say inviting you to my Dreamland and both your hands take me to a sonata in a white dream

tameiki wa netsu wo obite (watashi no karada wa hitotsu shikanai no ni...!) soutsui no PARADISE nukedashi mashou? (jaa jouhanshi mo~rai!) ohimesama kochira koso deguchi desu (ee gehanshi!? yabbbba!!!) saa namae wo yonde

I let out my passion with a sigh (My body is only one, this can't be helped...!) why'd you escape this paradise of us two? (well guess I'm ok with just the upper half of it) Princess! the exit is over here (ehh, no, wait, maybe I should keep the lower half?? even better!) now call my name

ai mo (ai mo) mayou hodo atsureki (atsureki) paradokusu marude hatameku akai chou nerau tsukamu nigeru Labyrinth arasou (arasou) ai no tame kimi ga (kimi ga) azayaka na sei sa tsumi na hito dato nante watashi- anata? watashi- anata? aa nageku capurishio

it's love that births confusion and gives way to this paradox like a fluttering red butterfly i'm (targeted, trapped, escaping) in this labyrinth fighting for love because you're worth this pain despite me being so sinful will you and I? you and I? ahh, I'm being thorn apart by these whims

(anata ga... watashi no...) (hime... watashi koso ga anata ni fusawashii mono desu) (pajama wo kigaete kite kudasaru? hai tsugi!) (hime... watashi nara anata wo shiawase ni shite mise masu) (soshage ni kuni no shisan kakin shinagara iwanaide! hai tsugi!!) (hime! watashi koso!) (nande cheinmeiru nano!? tsugi!!) (hime! watashi nara!) (tenjou made kokusai de hikanai! tsugi!!) (hime~!!) (owa~!!)

"Are you... my..." "Princess... I am the most suitable for you" "and yet you came here in pajamas? next" "Princess... Only I can make you happy" "How exactly if you keep spending all your money on gacha games? next" "Princess! pick me!" "Eww, you're wearing chain mail? next" "Princess! do me!" "So I can take your exceeding debts for you? Next!" "Princess~!!" "owaaa~!!"

ai wo (ai wo) motometeru atsui (atsui) serenaade futatsu hoshi no aida ni saku (ubau nusumu mogaku) Destiny... uso wa (uso wa) chigiri sute kimi ga (kimi ga) erande okure yo kono te no toru chigiri wa watashi- anata? watashi- anata? ai ga ai ga ai ga kuruu watashi- anata? watashi- anata? aa moeru capurishio

Expressing my yearning for your love in this serenade Between our two stars bloomed (and was stolen, robbed and trampled) our destiny Cut away the lies and tell us who you choose make your promise and take my hand and say that you and I? that you and I? love, love, your love is driving me insane that you and I? that you and I? ahh, we are burning in your whims

ittsuihan no <capurishio> aa...

your whim of being only half a couple

ah....

“Wait a minute, you skipped the previous track didn’t you?!” ok you got me, this song had too much net slang for me to properly translate every line in it, sorry bout that one. I commented on that link with the lyrics for the song (with no translation) but if you’re curious what it’s about: The title is something like “the song of not losing to normies on halloween” and it’s about a hikkikomori being troubled by fucking normies on halloween night. It’s actually pretty funny but some of its terminology flies over my head  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Also for what it’s worth I thought mega absolutely killed it and did a much better job covering nanahi’s song than nanahi covering one of hers, good for her.

Might as well write this down too since I already overextended with the previous paragraph. The title of this song says ”狂爭曲《カプリシオ》”, the first 3 characters are not a real word while the ones between parenthesis indicate how it’s actually supposed to be read, this is easily backed up by the actual lyrics at the end plus it’s fairly common practice in japanese media to do these silly made up words.  Based on it’s kanji 狂爭曲  would mean something like “song of a mad struggle” if it was a real word. HOWEVER, my dumb ass initially assumed the reading referred to Caprice(french word for whim) since the song has a couple of french lines in it.

Then however I found out  Capriccio is an actual music term for a very free-form piece, however I’m still leaving it as whim since it perfectly fits what is going on and was probably intended to. Also “burning in this free form style of composition” doesn’t sound as good as “burning in your whims”, so yeah, there you have it.

[yourinfinite00]

pouring my heart out

happy birthday to me! masyado kang special para paglaanan ko ng time ngayong birthday ko HAHAJK. de pero this will be sort of a direct letter to you. feeling ko di mo alam na para sayo to at malamang naman di mo makikita to. i’m writing this to just release all these bottled up emotions i have for you, hoping it will help me get over this because i know walang chance at ayoko namang magconfess sayo with the risk of losing our friendship. so here it goes.

i like you. for a couple of months na. sabi ko sa kaibigan ko mahina ako sa mababait sakin eh. eh mabait ka sakin. actually the first time i really thought na ‘ambait neto ah’ is nung pinahiram mo ko ng jacket. taena sobrang babaw diba pero yun it felt genuine kase even as a friendly act. with that meetup with our other friends, i realized you’re a life friend na. we got closer after that. or baka sakin lang, ganun ka na pala talaga dati di ko lang pansin kase iritable ako dati sayo HAHA. we spent more time chatting both acads and personal stuff minsan. asking questions about our lives we didn’t really talked about before. talking about your faith, spirituality, our mental state, and much more. we spent time sa study sessions where we don’t really talk, may presence lang ng isa’t-isa. i know you do this with any other friend but i felt special then. you were my support system in grad school. i don’t know how my life will be without you. not an exaggeration. when we get to finally meet again, it’s as if walang barrier satin. the first time you agreed to come play with us, i was so happy. partly because i get to spend time with you and also because i get to play with a previous teammate again (tho we didn’t spend time playing together). you even agreed to eat after the game. the second time we played was much more fun. we played together for about four hours. you know how to talk to me in the court. we celebrated each point you scored. it was just fun. we ate dinner after the game and admittedly, it felt awkward for me because of the prior problem we had before this. the last time we played was not as good (bad game days for the both of us HAHA) but the time spent after the game was better. you said then that you want to eat but baka sa bahay na. i think you were hesitant to say na gusto mo pa kumain (assuming uli amp HAHAHA). but then when i asked you if you want to eat, you said yes naman. we talked about random topics: thesis, elections, batchmate’s engagement. you said on thing tho that struck to me. when we were talking about marriage and i said na ‘mafifeel mo na lang din talaga e’, and you said, a bit mahina, ‘kanina ko pa nga nafifeel e’. i was surprised and didn’t know how to push that topic even more although i was curious what you meant. i jokingly asked if you were pertaining to one the players we played with kase tinanong mo earlier name niya. sabi mo lang issue ako. everytime i look back to you saying that, umaasa ako e. na baka ako yung tinutukoy mo dun. syempre oa yung marriage pero yung.. basta gets mo na yun.

of course it wasn’t all fun. there were instances, i’m sure, na nagkainisan tayo. we got to know each other better when we spent almost two weeks ng magkasama. i learned that you’re really loud HAHAHA (i always tell you that). i learned that you have initiative in everything. i learned that you’re scary sometimes (when you’re busy doing something). i learned (i already know this before lol) that you’re very very sociable. i learned that you can be so patient (to me) when i get grumpy and easily annoyed. and when you tried to teach me how to swim but realized that i was getting really anxious already and just decided to stop. i learned that you care for your friends with how you think of our friend’s food and how you tried to always include me in conversations whenever i’m getting silent. how you taught me to play switch games and eventually got frustrated because i’m dumb in the cooking game. i learned that we have almost similar music taste (i’ve taken lots of songs i heard from you HAHA). i learned how forgiving and mature you could be. we had a major major major problem. i think a huge part of it was because of me, but my friend told me that you are supposed to be accountable too. but that’s besides the point. we talked about it. i said sorry. you did too. you forgave me, and so did i. at first, we were awkward. i feared that after that major problem, we wouldn’t be able to go back to how close we were before. and for some time, that was true. i noticed it when we were eating after a game when we got back here.actually, when i think about it, maybe i was the only one awkward about it. i really felt bad about what happened then and really felt guilty. i had trouble looking in your eyes when we were talking e when we were in z..... and we still haven’t had a problem, minsan nagtititigan lang tayo for a couple of seconds i don’t know why hahaha. but then after a couple of days talking, we (or i) were better na, as if nothing happened. 

i just became so comfortable with you. you make me happy. you make me want to become a better version of myself. you were the first one to greet me on my birthday (i was just jokingly expecting for that to happen but you did it). not really happy tho ‘cause your not coming but eh, ganun talaga. anyway, i don’t know why i wrote this. i just wanted you to know that i’m very very very grateful to know you and be close to you. not kidding, you had such a huge impact to my life and i will always be thankful to you for that. i hope we stay good friends for life cause i know that’s all what we’re going to be. hoping that me writing this letter will help me get over you because i don’t wanna confess with the risk of losing you. again, thank you. so much. so much. 

[iamnumeronine]

Fucking feel bad.

First, i wanna go home na not because i'm maarte but i really have to. I need to go to work by 7am. And the fact na they didnt know what responsibilities i have, it hurts me because iniisip lang nila nag iinarte ako. Truth is kailangan ko lang talaga and antok na din ako. I didnt drink that much because im driving home pa. I dont want to get into a car accident just like how my brother died. And they still dont get that. I dont voice out these thoughts because they wont understand.

So si ultimate crush asked me for a bit longer. So I stayed like until 1am, and got extended by 2am (whilst this guy keep on nagging me to not yawn and scratch my head but what the fck do i have to do, i'm tired and sleepy and i dont want to drink anymore coz im driving.) And they even called me out for taking home my other wine pero kase hindi naman nila iniinom, puro sila beer. Andyan naman yung wine. Damn, tapos pagbabayarin ako? Nagdala ako ng wine tapos ayaw nila then nung inuwi ko nagreklamo at gusto mag ambag ako sa maki? Puta naman. Point is, sabi nila pledge. I dont get it. And to think na i didnt drink that much beer, tama naman diba? Whatever, it's so offending.

I stayed because she asked me to. She kept on saying na this maybe the last time na na we will meet kasi she's going sa province na and thats totally fine with me, maybe she has a point. And also, i wanted to stay din because of her. I want to cherish the remaining time i have with her. My feelings for her were genuine and there's this part of me that doesnt want to really accept the fact na we wont be seeing each other that much na talaga. But it's the total opposite, because this guy keeps on irritating me or calling me out for the stuff that i normally do. And they are making fun pa of my feelings for her.

I treasure that because those were valid and were precious to me. I have loved her from afar for a very very long time and i didnt admit this to anyone but myself. But why does this guy act that all of it was a joke, and I was merely doing it just because i hate him? Dude wtf. Is he fcking jealous? I love her but that's only for me, and im not in anyway wanted to like pursue it or whatever coz im not that dumb. Whatever feelings that i have for her is only for me and i do not wish to let anyone know it also because i dont know wjat it is realy. All i kniw is she is important and special in my life. You guys doesn't know the impact of her presence or her simple care made me cheer up or even made me smile for a day. You just dont know that.

[andreipimentel]

So last night I was with Ed, Chad, Joseph, Lapore, and Geoff. We were drinking liquor called Primera Light and we bought 3 of it plus 1 bottle of Red Horse jumbo for washing. On the final bottle, I dared each of us to message a girl whom we don't know and give it our best shot to talk to them. Joseph went first, next was Ed, followed by Geoff, then Chad, me and Lapore. I really had no intent on messaging someone I didn't know and I was easily tipsy as hell, but I've been wanting to message Georgette. I don't know. I really just find her interesting honestly. So, after Chad sent his message to someone on IG, I messaged Georgette saying "Titanic" "That's my icebreaker 🤪". I wasn't hoping for a reply really and I instantly regretted messaging that shit.

Morning came, we woke up at about 11:30 am exactly and I saw her reply "Well hello to you too 🙂”. I was surprised because I really thought I wasn't getting a reply rather my mind was already settled with the thought of getting inboxed with a pile of her messages probably. I quickly said some shiz like "actually, I've been wanting to chat you ever since I saw na magkaklase tayo sa soft eng". I didn't open our chat as soon as I said as I know that she's attending the tech caravan in our CITE department. I waited till afternoon and got a reply from her "Ay oh? Well, now you did hahaha". Truthfully, I was troubled. I don't know how to start a conversation with a girl. It's been so long, man.

I did not completely engulf myself in the thought of what should I say, but it still boggled me to some extent. I was trying to get so fixated in the moment along with my tropa while they're helping me clean my room. But at around 7 pm, I messaged her saying "I guess messaging you while tipsy made me overcome my fear of messaging you". And her reply made me really really really uneasy. The way she typed "haha." like this hit me in the wrong way. I've read too many stories, books, and observed so many habits of girls of how they feel like when it comes to pushing someone away. I instantly felt like I was a bothersome really. I read in between the lines too much that it became a habit of mine whether a person wants to engage in a conversation or not. But I neglected it either way. I still continued with our conversation while keeping my tropas at bay; not forgetting my priorities of course.

I asked how was her day and she returned the question as well. This gave me a sign of hope for a little while. And then I opened a topic regarding whether if she reads books or not, and if yes, what's her favorite book. She told me that the last book that she read was "Falling into place by Amy Zhang". I asked her about the plot and she told me it's about suicide. Of course, I wasn't surprised at all. I know that Georgette loves dark stories or maybe practical (?) plots. It's because I've seen her share posts like tattoos, depression quotes, and self-love. Well, as to what my mind can decipher, she's into weird shit. Hahahaha. I told her one of my favorite books as well is "One Last Thing Before I Go by Jonathan Tropper" and it's related to suicide, or probably depression and gaining hope. I actually forgot to tell her that. Well, now that I think about it. She didn't even return the question back as I said my favorite book. That's the 2nd warning for me. She's giving me signals that she doesn't like to talk to me at all. But still, I continued.

I continued to broaden the topic as were talking about suicide already. I asked her "sensitive topic pero what's your opinion about suicide?" She answered in the most positive words I wouldn't have dared to imagine say as I was already getting the idea of what type of person she is. "A dumb way to die. It may end the pain, but it's just passing down to friends and family, which is much worse to their end." That's her answer. I said "But at some have point have you ever considered "death"?" Maybe this got out of hand really quickly? I guess I shouldn't be open in regard to these sensitive topics. So yeah. She told me that death hasn't even crossed her mind and that she couldn't do it nonetheless. "Mhmm. I get you". I know that at that moment I knew the topic I just opened seemed to hit some nerve of hers. I immediately apologized for opening such a topic. And then she wanted to ask something. I thought it would be like something related to my life, but she was actually dumbfounded on why I messaged her. "Hmmmmm. Well, I feel like you're unlike any other girl na maarte (or idk). I feel like maybe I can talk to you in a way most girls would get totally offended or weirded out. I find you interesting (is that weird?)" I told her. I wasn't sure of what she said seeing that she removed it right after I stopped messaging her, but surely I can paraphrase it like "I never thought someone would find me interesting" followed by "Huh. I don't think I'm that interesting hahahaha." I guess she doesn't know how to react to compliments? And I assured her saying that her aura makes her approachable and friendly. I also told her that she finds that weird it's because I'm an observant person. She said "Hmm slight. But I'll let it slide 😛", and I replied with "Fair enough. Hahahaha". We ended the conversation with her laugh reacting to my message.

Sooooo, what should I do? Am I taking it the wrong way ba? Or is she just like that talaga? Masyado kasi akong nasanay na nanghuhula ng tao honestly. Hindi ko din alam eh. Para kasing nilalagay ko sarili ko sa shoes nya and if ever she feels disgusted saken dahil sa physical appearance ko, I understand. I'm insecure, I know. Well, siguro hanggang doon nalang talaga. I just messaged her out of luck pero based from her signals din kasi, she seems uninterested in talking to me.

[oraclepythia]

It’s late, but I need to talk and no one is awake, so here we go.

I never really talk about Kasey anymore. I’m pretty sure a good number of the people who follow me now have never seen a mention of him on my blog, because I think I stopped talking about him around 2014. If you’re curious, if you go far enough back in my blog to, say, around 2010-2012, you’ll probably be able to find enough.

I still think about him every day. I’ve become much more guarded about who gets to know about Kase. Barely anyone I am currently friends with knows about him. I think this is because we are closing in on seven years since he passed away (May has the hardest month out of every single year since 2010) and all I can feel is me getting farther and farther away from him as the years pass. I was young and insecure when we were together, so there are no photographs of us together, or even any photographs of me taken by him, which is a terrible misfortune because he was an amazing photographer. The only physical evidence I have left of our relationship is a dumb video he made after we broke up that was meant to spare me anymore pain than was necessary in the moment, because he knew what he was going to do not long after. I had no idea, or I would have fought harder. 

I have been told a lot in recent months that I am too stubborn for my own good, that my head is always ramming into walls that don’t want to break down, just because I refuse to give up. I gave up once, and I lost one of the most significant and enduring relationships in my life forever. I fight so much harder now.

I am very protective over his memory now. A few months ago, probably October, someone I thought was my friend (but really, she never was, never could be, and never wanted to be) used his memory to guilt me about another situation that had the potential to go in a direction similar to the way I lost Kase. I was lax and told her before the situation, when I thought we were friends, about what had happened and how I still feel gut wrenching guilt every single day of my life, and in return she threw my own guilt in my face. I had already started keeping his memory close to my chest, but after that, there are iron bars around his memory. I don’t feel capable of talking about him anymore, because I want to keep all of his memory to myself. I’m selfish now.

If I tell you anything about Kasey now, in the present day, either I am in distress and need help dealing with my emotions and mental health (which is rare, honestly. I prefer to suffer through my own mental health issues alone and/or annoy one singular person in my life with every terrifying thought that goes through my head) or I really, truly care about you and want to share the blood and guts of our relationship with you. There has only been one person recently with whom I have shared anything related to Kasey (/tagged/aon) but that didn’t go over very well. That’s an understatement. 

Basically, I’m struggling with Kasey’s memory, and the fact that time is passing. I am already much older than he was when he died, and that kills me. Thinking of myself aging but him never leaving 19 years of age absolutely destroys me. 

Life goes on.

[makulitnalyka]

binatog

Alam mo yon yung kapag gantong oras talaga kahit anong gawin mo di mo maiiwasang di mag isip ng kung ano-ano. May curse ata yung gantong oras e HAHAHA To na ba yung sinasabe nilang 3am thoughts? HAHAHAHA Tangina kinakain buong pagkatao ko bessyyy. Parang sobrang nag sisink-in sakin lahat ng bagay bagay. Na napaka bullshit ko pala talaga as a person. Inisip ko yung mga nagawa ko these past few weeks and narealize ko how selfish I was when it comes to family, friends and jowa. Pero sabi nga kase sa Alice through the looking glass: “You cannot change the past, but instead you will learn of it.” I’ve learned a lot from it na pwede bang patulugin na ko? Huhu. Mashadong pre-occupied yung isip ko ng mga bagay bagay ngayon. Like tangina yung mismong sentepede na nakita ko kaninang tanghali bigla kong naisip hanggang sa kung saan saan na nakarating isip ko. Ang haba ng sinasabi ko gusto ko lang naman sabihin na namimiss ko na si Josh and I just realized how dumb I was for asking for space. Akala ko talaga I needed space. I’m too stressed lang pala sa school works. Mashado ako nagpadala sa pagod, stress at pressure ng acads to the point na napag babalingan ko na ng pagod at inis ko yung boyfriend ko. He was there during my worst times yet I asked for some space. TANGA KO BES TANGINA BALIK NIYO NGA AKONG KINDER GAGO. Akala ko pag wala si Josh makakapag focus ako lalo sa studies bc lahat ng oras ko nasa pagaaral pero bes tangina kada matutulala ako kinakaen ako ng tanong na “tama ba yung ginawa ko?” Tapos just recently naisip ko na I’m a complete shit nung mga oras na nanghingi ako ng space. Luh gago lalo lang ako nagulugan sa studies pota lalong bumigat yung mga bagay bagay. Ewan ko bat ko sinasabi to pero kase pinipilit kong paniwalain yung sarili ko na kaya ko pa pero tangina mo ayoko na kase pagod na ko bat di pa matapos tong sem na to. Pwede bang magasawa nalang ako ng mayaman tapos di ko na kelangan mag aral tapos mabibigyan ko na ng magandang buhay nanay ko tas bahala na tatay ko sa buhay niya mag sama nalang sila ng kabit niya tas mag tinda nalang sila ng fishball. Ang nonsense ng sinasabi ko pero naisip niyo narin ba na it’s too late to apologize? It’s too late.

Pero kase tangina binlock ako ng jowa ko sa messenger na hindi naman dapat at first time niya ginawa yon mga ka-mornytz sobrang nahurt yung delusional heart ko so nagpadala nanaman ako sa galit nagpadalos-dalos nanaman c aq so inunfriend ko siya bes. Unfriend palang muna shempre. Tas nitetext ko siya mga repa hindi parin talaga nag rereply. De nainis na lalo c acoe, binlock ko na sa mismong facebook. Ganern kunwari stronk HAHAHA Tas kala ko sabay kameng uuwi ng Laguna kase tangina hindi ako hinahayaan umuwi non magisa pero bes tangina umuwi ako magisa. Para kong nag mumusic video sa jeep naiyak ako papuntang terminal. Dama ko siya that time bes sobrang saqt mag mahal kaya kung ako sa inyo wag niyo na subukan.

Nakakainis pa don mga ka-repa no yung katabi ko sa bus non is a complete manyak gago mga pang ilang beses na nong nagaganon sa public vehicle pero I can’t comprehend that time kase I’m in my worst idc nalang mga ganon kase sumisikip na talaga dibdib ko that time sa super patong patong na nararamdaman ko. So much feels ika nga pero bad feels yung akin mga beshies at yung manyak is binayaran pamasahe ko sa bus. Who would’ve thought. Kita niya ko umiiyak and di makahinga baka kala niya naglayas ako or what kaya ala ako pera tas andame ko pa dala non kala mo pupunta akong batanes at di na babalik. Di ako gumalaw buong ride hanggang Alabang mga ka-mornytz. Lalo sumikip dibdib ko para lang akong display don naka steady lang as in pero I promised myself na di na ko mag eexpect kase nakakadisappoint kaya tangina ka ba HAHAHAHA

So yun lang. sana naman sa kinwento ko rewardan na ko ng antok kase tangina maawa naman kase sana sa katawan ko payat q na sana naman magising na ko ng before lunch ako na nagmamakaawa. Yun pasabe kay Josh, hi. hehe *pabebe waves*

PS: walang konek yung title ng blog post ko sa laman niya pero kase gusto ko lang naman kase ng binatog right at this moment ☹️